#but just listen to how beautifully tragic it is ♡

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

Shut up this is the only piece of music I care about

[hernakedmuse]

Liz and Billy

Synopsis: Minka Farrah is the screen siren of the Art side of Hollywood's. David Lynch's new muse, inspires designers the new Elizabeth Taylor. Despite her appearance, she's always there for her friends. Megan's one of her best, but it turns out Megan isn't the only one who needs a shoulder to cry on, her fiancé Colson Baker, known to the world as the notorious Machine Gun Kelly, needs a shoulder too, and what a lovely sweet smelling, empathetic shoulder it is.

Going to be a Colson x OC fic.

It's going to be an explicit fic.

Warnings for first chapter: Not proofread, mentions of suicide attempts, mental health mentions.

I. Giant

♡♡Minka's POV ♡♡

Megan wasn't doing good.

We've been friends since we met on the set of my film Poison. We bonded over our love for music and she was easy and fun to be around, after that we started spending as much time as we could together and texted everyday, when we weren't filming on location she made herself an unofficial resident at my French revival on Ridgedale drive. Claiming I give the best sleepovers.

The harlot loves stealing my makeup too, Claiming I have so much makeup like a department store I wouldn't notice it missing. I let her, it's not as if I couldn't easily replace it.

I was the only person she told absolutely everything to, perhaps that's why I never corrected her when she would irk me.

Pour example, when she bugs me about why I don't get down there surgery, or after my mother who was my best friend died how I didn't find her warm enough, she has a habit of dealing with tragedy in a way Jack Frost would; Too much silence, almost like she's watching a car crash. And let's not forget that every time I desired to come out to everyone about being a transwoman, she discouraged it because my career is far too successful. Which in my good opinion is precisely why I should, I owe it to my fans to every child or adult who feels trapped inside a body that doesn't belong to them.

I well ignored her well-intentioned advice and came out anyway, while I was a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race. The media lost it people lost it, many angry men who harbored illicit fantasies of me were outraged and women claimed I was far too pretty to be a man. The news beautifully purged me of my ignorant fans, the loyal and open minded remained, and my film career didn't hurt too terribly because I was already in a more artistic genre, people would say I'm the Elizabeth Taylor of Isabella Rosselini, a Bettie Page sort of Isabelle Adjani.

When backlash arrived, Megan lovingly pointed out it was expected because of how people are, I didn't need that. She's not like Anya, who is my warmer friend.

It can't be helped, it's just her nature, she has never dealt with emotions and high stressed situations well, I can accept that.

Despite that, whenever something particularly irks or disturbs her good moods, I'm the first person she calls, and like a dutiful friend I drop it all to run to her beck and call.

She's been starting to see the rapping singer Machine Gun Kelly, the gorgeously painted tower of a man. I never listened to his music and as a fan of Motley Crüe I found The Dirt inaccurate and ridiculous. But he did a very good job as Tommy Lee. I'll admit that.

Megan is mad about Colson, that's his name. She's peanuts and almonds about him, I think it mainly has to do with how apparently skilled he is between the sheets which I can definitely see. But, unfortunately Colson like many artists, suffer from mental health issues, and Meg darling little Nutmeg is not the best with that especially as someone so beautifully intense and tragic as Mr. Baker.

Pete and I have talked about this, my best friend, my absolute beloved, who is actually Colson's beloved best friend as well. So funny that the rapper and I have only met once at Pete's birthday party. He stared at me for a rather long time before offering me a cigarette, I asked if they were French and he laughed before some girl took him away. And that was that, I was called away to Budapest for that Polanski movie.

But Megan has been telling me her forever love has been incredibly paranoid, and blaming her for not being there enough. She was thoroughly upset, and this morning she called me at 5, she couldn't sleep. She told me they fought all through the night and she was glad Casie was at her mother's. I bit back asking about her boys who she spends less and less time with these days. I climbed out of my big, comfy bed away from my canine kinder and American Sable. "Boys, we're going to Auntie Meg's a little early this morning." I Yawned, removing my silk sleeping mask and headscarf. This wasn't the first time I woke up at this time of course, but I savored my days off.

I tie on my vintage circa 1980 Victoria's Secret robe and slip on my satin rabbit shaped slippers before turning on the light on my side table.

I opened the curtains of my French doors that opened up to my bedroom balcony before inhaling the sweet air of the rose hour, and walked through the connecting door to my hardly humble and spacious master bath. No time for luxuriating in my jacuzzi tub, it's a shower today. I rubbed my eyed and messily pinned up what I could of my raven bob, pushing it back by a satin headband and capped it before slipping off my robe and entering my four person shower for one.

The heat was high and delicious and I had to remind myself that this was to be quick, Chanel facial care was my friend and aveeno's oat shower oil and doves macadamia nut body polish were the lovers that kissed my skin.

Once my duties were done I shut off the well pressured shower and dried off with my egyptian cotton towels from the warmer. I rubbed on my toner, serum, essence, moisturizer, spf, eye cream and lip care. I massaged my aveeno baby lotion on and brushed my hair down brushing in the L'Oreal mythic oil, and washed my hands with L'Occitane before moisturizing my hands with their hand cream. I quickly brushed and water flossed my teeth and for makeup it was very basic for my usual, just L'Oreal serum foundation, reddish sweetbriar and rose oil comfort lip oil by Clarins, and Lancome mascara to accentuate my violet-blue eyes a little.

I neglected my underwear today and pulled on my black, v-dipped spandex shorts, and pulled on my white polo halter, backless cropped top that says Los Angeles in black old English text on my right breast. I perfumed my pulse points with eau fraiche by Chanel before rushing to slip on my black 90s slip on sandal wedges.

I washed my chiweenie and skunks faces and leashed them up, before grabbing my Coach black tabby and 90s Prada sunglasses.

I locked up the house and called my driver Kaiden. In record time he pulled up in my black Rolls Royce that I was still too afraid to drive. I'm afraid of driving, yes, and I know it's ridiculous but I can't help the irrational fear. "Morning Kaiden, I hope you had enough sleep."

Kaiden is an ex user. I was at the Beverly Center one day and I saw this hungry young man who happened to be homeless, it upset me so much. I can't stand seeing people on the street and there's so many, so I asked him if he could drive and he said yes, and I asked him how would he like to drive luxury cars for a living. I set him up in a luxury apartment on la brea, got him medical and dental and mental health care all holistic, a signing bonus. The rest is history, Kaiden is like family and he likes to act as my bodyguard as well even though I do have one, Jack. He's protective of me, forever grateful. I look after him, make sure he goes to his therapy sessions and I cook for him and take care of his laundry. I've got a soft spot for the twenty four year old.

"I did, did you?"

"Yes I was a good girl, no parties last night, got my full eight hours father." I teased. "Have you eaten yet?"

"No mother." He teased right back.

I smiled. "I'm going to make breakfast at Meg's, she won't mind you joining, how does that sound?"

"Like I'd ever turn down your food."

"Don't make me blush."

It takes about forty minutes for me to get to Meg's new Encino mans with her rakish knight.

Kaiden parks and takes my skunk, Nikki, as I carry Vince, my chiweenie. I text her that I'm here with Kaiden and she tells me to go around back to not wake Colson.

We do as we're told and Meg is there waiting for us in her pajamas that consist of booty lounge shorts, UGG slippers, a t- shirt that obviously belonged to Colson, and her ebony hair up in a messy bun. "Hi beautiful." I whispered softly before pulling her into a hug and kissed her cheek that was warm from sleep.

"I'm so glad to see you, babe." She said softly as she squeezed me. She waved to Kaiden and slid the backdoor back to let us in.

I set Vince down who followed Kaiden and Nikki, my inked driver knew the routine and headed to the den to give Meg and I privacy.

I slipped off my sandals and followed Meg into the kitchen. I went to the coffee station to start that. I got her and Colson a Nespresso machine and milk frother with many capsules for a housewarming gift.

I put in the rich chocolate capsule that was known for its creamy and chocolate notes, and poured oat milk creamer into the frother. "Okay, I want your guts on the table." I said to her with a smile.

She sighed and slumped her body onto the island. "I can't even like…Mink…" she said my nickname with such exhaustion.

I went over to her and gently rubbed her back aside and pushed a random object off the counter. I love Meg but she's kind of a slob, but a very cute slob. "Deep breaths, like you're using a straw." I encouraged softly.

She did the breathing exercise I taught her and l went to grab three mugs and filled them with coffee, cream, and sugar. I gave her a mug and kissed her head. "Sip some of this and prepare to let It all out, I'll be right back." I left her briefly to give Kaiden his coffee, he and the fur boys were laying on the couch. I then returned to an exhausted Megan sipping her coffee. I took my mug and sat beside her. "Okay, let it out, it's just me."

She teared up as she nursed the glass mug. "It's so fucking hard sometimes, Mink." She whispered. "I can handle it I can but…I mean I'm fucking human, I can handle shit like remember I told you about the accident with Brian."

Brian was her ex husband, only knew him from playing David Silver on Beverly Hills 90210, and he's the father of her boys. They went through a lot together between his ex, being victims of the Bling Ring, and his car accident that had him partially paralyzed for a while and not to mention her affair with Shia LaBeouf. She's right, she can handle a lot.

"But," She continued. "It's fucking insane when you get called up at work from your fiancée, and he fucking tells you you're not there…" her eyes are watery and her voice starts to break.. "And talking crazy shit like somebody's after him, a-and he has a goddamn gun in his mouth!" She whispered hysterically before crying on my shoulder.

I felt my throat run dry, my tongue heavy, I set my mug down and pulled her into a hug as she wailed. Colson tried to kill himself? When was this? He must be in some awful pain to feel like he needed such an awful way out. I took a deep breath to push my own floodgates back, because it's not about me. "He was using at the time, he stopped since then, but I can't get that out of my head, Minka. I fucking can't. Why the hell would he do that to me? And I have been there for him I'm always there, I'm starting to think he wants me to stop my career and keep me in this fucking house!"

My blood ran cold, no wasn't the time for Megan to make it about herself. She Knew what she signed up for with Colson, he trusted her enough to be vulnerable with her. I took a deep breath. "Meg, I'm going to run you a bath, relax, listen to a true crime podcast and I'll make you breakfast okay? and try to clean this place up." The sink was full of dishes.

She let out a shaky breath of relief before hugging me tight. "Bitch, I swear to God I don't know how I got along without you before."

I wiped her eyes. "Please, I'm just nosy." I took her mostly empty coffee and put it in the sink before we both crept upstairs. The bathroom was chaotic and I ended up doing a quick cleaning and made a mental note to have Petra order them that new kItty litter I saw on TV with the cat goddess. I found some Lush bath bombs and put them in the big, hot jacuzzi tub, poured Laura Mercier in and lit some candles. I had Alexa put on some true crime and had the towels set up in the warmer.

Once Meg was situated, I crept back down to the kitchen. I had music on low and gathered ingredients from the fridge and pantry. From scratch I made Russian, honey poppy seed roll, croque Madame sandwich, and fruit salad. I made orange juice from scratch and added turmeric-ginger shots. I was cleaning the kitchen with the vigorous intention of making it spotless, dancing to 'Giant' by The The, swaying my hips when a familiar voice breaks into the scene. "Am I interrupting something?"

I stopped abruptly holding the broom, and spun around to see none other than all 6'4 of freshly awakened Colson Baker. He looked Michelin level delicious in boxers that hung low on his hips and absolutely nothing else.

His cobalt blue eyes weren't looking at her, they were staring. They traveled down her body making her feel self conscious. Like most people, she's attracted to him, he has that typical Taurus beauty that has you hypnotized. No one would ever guess from her vintage, art house style but, the entire punk rock and tatted I just got on parole for good behavior look is her absolute favorite.

"I just made some breakfast, Meg's in a bath, would you like some coffee?"

He sucked his lip in before giving me another once over. "Yeah, have you seen my lighter? Shit it looks clean in here."

"I have and no, you're not smoking right now." I said as I handed him his coffee.

He smirked and sat down at the island with his mug. "Okay ma." He moaned as he sipped the coffee. "Damn I love this shit, even though it gives me the shits."

I smiled. "Everything gives you the shits because you're taurus, you guys have issues." I teased as I made his plate. Megan is the same, the beautiful actress is quite gassy.

"Meg told me you know a lot about astrology."

I set his plate down, and a glass of the juice I made. "My mother was into it, her great grandmother was a gypsy from Krakow."

"That's bomb, was she psychic?"

I gave him a secretive smile. "I'll be back." I had Kaidens plate and bowls for all the animals in the house. After making sure everyone got their food, except for Megan because she's still in the bath, I grabbed my plate and joined Colson, who was inhaling his plate. "Fuck, this is so what I needed. You can cook, you know that?"

I don't know why I liked hearing his approval, he's just one of those people you always want to impress perhaps. "Glad you like it, I love cooking, I believe a good meal can fix just about anything."

"Well maybe if you hosted Thanksgiving this year, it'll fix how fucked up I am." He finished his sandwich looking like he wanted to say something. "She told you, didn't she?"

I didn't respond, which answered his question. "Did you come here to check up on her? And chew me out?" He had a defensive tone, used to people yelling at him to get his shit together no doubt.

"Truthfully, I wanted to make sure you were okay. Colson…I know we hardly know each other, but I worry about you. And you don't need a lecture you need…" he needs someone to understand him, he needs comfort, he needs everything Megan isn't giving him right now. But I didn't say that. "A few good meals." I finished.

His eyes were on me as his teeth tore into the poppy seed roll. My eyes admired him, he's so beautiful, the way he was put together was perfect. How could someone so beautiful be so broken? I didn't want to give him the you're not alone spiel, but he isn't. He's a true artist, he feels more than the average person and has gone through so much, being proven again and again he's no one's priority. He just wants to feel that he matters that his demons are wrong. He doesn't need to be told how to deal with his mental health.

Anything Anything by Dramarama played on my Spotify, he perked up before bobbing his head to the moody yet bouncy rock music. "Yo, I felt that before. I like these lyrics."

"Yeah me too, I love music like this, that makes you feel so raw."

I sang along but stopped as Colson stared at me wide-eyed. "Sorry, I know I'm not good." I said sheepishly.

"No! No, you actually have a very beautiful voice. Why didn't you ever do anything with it?"

I could feel my skin heat up. "I…acting is more of my calling and I thought my voice sounded too squeaky to be any good."

"Well, you can do both, it's done everyday. "

I smiled as I finished up my meal. "After you're done I'll clean up and get out of your hair, Meg's plate is in the microwave okay?"

"Nah you can stick around, kinda having a calming effect on the house. Like human sage." He smiled.

My heart raced and I couldn't help but return his effortlessly pretty smile.

He spoke again due to me not answering. "If you're not busy, I know you got a lot going on."

I took out my phone to text my manager. "We're good, I pushed it back."

His eyes lit up. "Cool, you play Mario Kart?"

"Never have." I don't play video games but for Colson, I will. "I guess you'll have to teach me."

"You're so…"

I bit my lip. "What?"

"You're like someone went back in time and brought you here, it's cool."

I laughed. "Thank you, I suppose."

"Hey, for real though, where's my lighter? I was a good boy and ate my food."

"More like inhaled it." I teased before going to a drawer and pulling it out and handing it to him, our fingertips brushed and I swore I felt an electric jolt. How strange. Our eyes met and I laughed before gently stroking his nail. "I need to give you a manicure, your paint is chipped." I took his hand and pressed a chaste kiss to it. I was always affectionate to all of my friends, kisses and hugs, they always teased me that despite looking like a child I behave like I'm someone's aunt that hasn't seen them in a while.

Colson must have not liked it because he stared at me like I grew two heads. I got up from the table and took his empty dishes. "I'm sorry, I forget not everyone likes to be touched."

"No, I– it's cool, I…liked it. It's just, unless it's someone I'm with, I'm not used to being touched."

"Maybe you're platonically touch-starved." I suggested as I loaded the dishwasher.

"Maybe you could help me satiate that."

A shiver ran up my spine at him saying satiate and it shouldn't have. He doesn't need more people who lust after him or want him. He needs someone to care just to care and not to gain.

"I was in a mental hospital for six months." I said suddenly as I started the dishwasher.

It was quiet for a moment and my heart was racing because Maybe I said the wrong thing.

"Minka…you don't have to say anything…" His voice was soft and tender.

"I want to, I want you to, to…I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass when I said I understand. I'm not just placating and patronizing you to make myself feel better 'helping' or to say I tried." I took a deep breath and turned around to face him, my back against the counter. His eyes wandered over my image again. "Colson, I was bullied so badly and I didn't know what I was…it was all so confusing, so awful…I didn't react too well…I don't know what I hated more, the hospital or school. My mom couldn't handle me being away that long and took me back home. I'm glad she did. She made it a little easier and less confusing…I don't know what I'd do without her." The last word turned into a frightened whisper. "I lost her almost two years ago and…it hasn't been easy, I feel so empty. I know it was awful for you when you lost your father Colson, even if he wasn't the father he should have been." A cold tear slipped down my cheek and I closed my eyes and turned away. I took a drying towel and dabbed my eyes carefully. I checked my reflection in a dish and turned back around To face him. He stared again, always staring.

"Minka…I'm so…sorry." His pretty powder blue eyes teared up.

I quickly made my way over to him and gently took his hands. "Goodness, you're tall." I put on a good smile. ''Don't you dare feel bad for me, and besides we're not making this about me. I just want you to know you can talk to me, be raw with me. You can be sushi!" I attempted to joke, he cracked a smile.

Unexpectedly, he pulled me into a hug. It was such a warm and comforting one, strangely it made me feel safe. I felt so selfish for thinking that way. I wrapped my arms around his slender waist. I think he needs a hug, but it's easier if he convinces himself it's for me.

We stayed like this for a while. He smelled like warmth and sleep and a little kush.

"Hey, I smell food!" It was Megan's raspy, sensual voice.

I pulled back from Colson fast enough to cause whiplash. Quickly I got her plate from the microwave and her juice from the fridge, handing it to her and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Colson went over to hug her from behind and kiss her neck. She giggled and turned to kiss his mouth.

I felt rude being here as their kissing became more intense, quietly I left the kitchen and headed into the living room. "Kay, gather pups, let's go." I texted my agent to tell him nevermind.

Music in Chapter: