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forever-rogue · 4 years

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Of Princes & Berries - Part 1

A/N: Yeah, so I have like zero self control, and I’m so deep in my Pedro feels and Oberyn is one of my og loves. In this family we throw canon out the window. Canon? I don’t know her. Anyways, this will probably be like 2-3 parts, y’all will get some sexy times, so hold tight. As always, feedback and comments are welcome, and if you’d like to be tagged, let me know! xx

Pairing: Oberyn Martell x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: slight language

MASTERLIST

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Popping a few of the fresh, succulent berries into your mouth, you received a tut and playful glare from the chef that was busy preparing various foods for feasts throughout the day. You gave him an innocent smile before putting a finger to your lips.

"Those are for the prince," he reminded you playfully, passing a jug of wine towards you, "those were imported just for him, best not eat them all."

"Oh relax," you gently bumped him with your hip as you loaded everything onto your serving tray, "our esteemed guest won't be missing a few of them. Besides, these are so much mode delicious than the ones we have here. Ours are so lackluster and have no flavor. These are practically bursting with juice and flavor. Maybe the best I’ve ever had!”

"Why do you think he specifically asked for them?" he turned back to the pot he was stirring, giving you a little sigh.

"Because he's the fucking prince of Dorne?" you started to lift the tray up to carry it to the gardens where he was no doubt waiting, "and he's got impeccable taste. Looks, taste, people throwing themselves at him left and right? What a life he leads.”

"Just make sure this gets out to him," he insisted and you gave him a small salute as you headed out of the dim kitchens, “and no detours to eat more berries!”

A small sigh escaped your lips as you stepped into the daylight and felt the sun's rays hit you and instantly warm you up. Everything felt lighter already. Most days in King's Landing were overcast and not this beautiful, at least not during this time of year, and you planned on taking full advantage of it. Perhaps later, when you were done with morning duties, you’d go and set by the sea for a while. It always relaxed something deep within you.

As soon as you spied the prince, staring out into sea, a smile grew on your face. You'd spoken to him a few times here and there, mostly in passing, since his arrival at King's Landing. He was a bright spot, a welcome interruption in our normally monotonous and drool days.

He always spoke to you in a kind manner, taking the time to ask your name, how you were doing, small things. But unlike most people in the court, he seemed genuine in his actions, kind even. He truly listened when you spoke, rather than just blowing you off.

As you approached him, a smile stretched across his handsome features when he realized it was you, causing a small flutter in your heart.

"Good morning, Y/N," he stood and offered you a small bow as you set the tray down on the table in front of him. It was a sign of respect; reverence. Proprietary would have you bowing to him, but he never was one for rules, "how are you on this fair day?"

"Your highness," you beamed at him, pushing a plate of berries at him, "I dare say my day has been much improved. What good luck it was that they sent me to serve you."

"Good fortune, even a wonderful twist of fate," he sat back and watched you intently, "or perhaps I made a simple request."

"A request," you raised an eyebrow as you sneaked a berry, which just made him chuckle at you. Normally, with almost anyone else, you'd never be so bold. But with Oberyn...it felt normal, right even, "you asked for me?"

"You sound surprised," he mused as you leaned against the table, trying to soak up as much sun as possible, "why does it surprise you so?"

"I don't know," you said quietly, "I just never thought I'd make that much of an impression on anyone. I prefer to pass by quietly, generally."

"You've made quite the impression on me, sweet girl," he said softly. You caught your bottom lip in between your teeth as his words fell over you, "I'll take every opportunity I can to look at that lovely face."

"You flatter me," but a content sigh escaped your lips nonetheless, "it is I who am in awe of your beauty, your highness. Surely."

“Now you’re just flattering me, fanning my ego like everyone else,” he waved his hand at you laughed at him, “I didn’t specifically ask for you just because you fall in line like everyone else.”

“I’m sorry then,” you playfully stuck your tongue out at him, “I shall never flatter you again. Nothing but complete honesty.”

“A simple request, no?” he teased, letting his fingers linger near yours. You studied his hands, the few scars that had marred the warm, tan skin. He was really was beautiful, such a sight to behold in your otherwise dreary life, “can I ask you something...perhaps too forward?”

“Yes,” permission was given without hesitation, and worry. Nothing about him worried in you in that sense. Sure, he was the Red Viper, deadly, feared, and brutal in his own way, but you saw past that...he was also kind, gentle, surprisingly soft spot and quick as a whip, “anything.”

“Have you been with a prince before?”

“I’ve been with many men who call themselves all sort of things,” you shrugged your shoulders as you poured more wine into his goblet, “kings, princes, knights, lords. You name it and I’ve been with one.”

“And have they lived up to your expectations?”

“Hardly,” you grabbed a berry and popped into your mouth, and raising an eyebrow at him, “the only time I’ve experienced true pleasure, it has certainly not been at the hands of a man.”

“Oh?”

“Yes,” you sat down across from him, far overstepping any boundaries that remained. But Oberyn was different; he wasn’t like all the other princes and lords who spoke down to you like you were some sort of mere peasant. He treated you like an actual person. That in itself was enough to keep you intrigued; his delicious, warm accent didn’t hurt either. It was like music to your ears, sweet like the wine that flowed freely throughout the court, and much more pleasant than the harsh accents of the King’s Landing that you’d have grown accustomed to.

“You prefer the company of women?”

“I do enjoy the company of women,” you gave him a lazy half smile, “very much so. They’re beautiful creatures, soft, and warm, kind. Unlike men, they know how to touch other women, how to make love and make it a pleasurable experience, not just spend five minutes pounding into you until they’ve found release like a common barnyard animal. And then again, if all else fails, there is also the undeniable pleasure you can give yourself.”

“Very valid points,” he eat a few of the fresh berries, his dark eyes never leaving yours. A smile played on his features as relaxed in his seat, letting the sun warm him, “clearly you haven’t been with the right men.”

“Do you think you’re different?”

“I know I’m different.”

“Hmm,” you mused, “you’re very sure of yourself, my prince. Is your reputation well deserved? Are you as good of a lover as they all say?”

“I am,” a small smirk played on his lips as he crossed his legs, gauging your every reaction closely. He was curious, almost deathly curious to see what you hid under your cool exterior. You acted like you belonged in the court, under the direction of the Lannisters, but he could see through right through you. He knew you weren’t fully invested in your job or life here; hells, anyone that spared you more than a passing glance could see that much, “do you care to find out?”

“I appreciate the forwardness,” you gave him a wicked little smile of your own, “but surely you’ve got better things, and individuals, to shower in your worship. I am a simple servant, not worthy of anyone’s time, something I am made sure never to forget.”

You didn’t wait for a response before standing up and brushing your skirts off as you turned to head back inside. You’d been gone for some time now, surely you’d be attracting some unwanted attention any minute. You’d only been meant to serve the prince, not converse as though you were fast friends, shamelessly flirting in the open where anyone could stumble upon the two of you.

Oberyn was a welcome change to the cold atmosphere of the court you were used to. He brought a certain liveliness, warmth, and you swore more sunlight, with him. You could only imagine how wonderful it must be back in Dorne, where he got to spread that same radiance day in and day out.

“Where are you from?” he asked as you turned to leave. You paused and tensed up, surprised by the sudden question. He didn’t move as he waited for answer; part of you was tempted to pretend that you hadn’t heard him, but you knew better than to defy the prince.

“I’m just a servant, your highness,” you gave him a saccharine smile as you watched his expression falter slightly. It wasn’t the answer he was expecting, “I am from wherever I am situated. My job isn’t to have a personality, it’s to serve others.”

“That’s not what I asked,” he grabbed a particularly plump looking strawberry, took a bite before standing up and striding over to you. His caramel gaze was focused on yours as he gently grabbed your jaw with one hand raised the berry to your lips. It was a question of sorts, to see if you trusted him. Without hesitation, you parted your lips slightly, letting him pop the berry into your mouth. You let the juices coat your mouth before swallowing, your eyes never leaving his. Oberyn traced his thumb delicately along your bottom lip, wiping away the small bit of lingering juice, “where are you from, my sweet girl?”

“Your highness-”

“It’s a simple question,” he let go of your jaw, his face moving into a softer expression as his eyes slowly raked over you. If it had been almost any other man, you would have been disgusted, but there was some gentle about when it was Oberyn.

“Honeyholt,” the name of your birthplace fell off your lips almost like a whisper, and your eyes darted around to make sure no one had heard. When you worked for the Lannisters, personal matters as such were best left unsaid; they paid you, albeit barely, for your service, not to moan about your previous life.

“That’s rather far from here,” he mused and you shrugged lightly. You were a a child, a mere young thing the last time you had visited your place of origin. You didn’t remember enough of it to truly miss. King’s Landing had been your home since, “what brings you here, to the harsh life of the court?”

“I didn’t have a choice,” you bit your lip, unsure of how far he wanted you to go into detail, “I...was brought here by parents. They needed the money, and I was their only source of commodity. For them it was an easy decision. I haven’t seen them since.”

“I could tell you were not from this forsaken place,” you wondered what he meant, how easily he could tell you were different. You’d spent most of your life trying to blend and not stick out, you’d thought you’d been doing a fairly decent job. Most people didn’t spare you a passing glance, unless they desired something from you.

“And just how is that, if you don’t my asking?”

“You’re much too beautiful to be from here,” he answered and your entire body suddenly felt like it was on fire. You turned your head, gaze intently trained on the cracked ground of the aging palace as you avoided his inquisitive looks. He reached over and with a few gentle fingers tilted your chin up to face him, “do not shy away from your beauty.”

“I do not,” your voice was but a whisper, “people do not usually show me such...reverence.”

“You have kind eyes,” he carried on, “the sweetest smile, hair fair more beautiful than the Lannister gold they love so much here. Your accent gives you away, it is very slight, but anyone with a keen ear will be able to pick up on it. These barbarians here no doubt have come to ignore it.”

“You...” no one had pointed out that fact that you have a slight lilt to your voice in years. You’d lost the majority of any accent as a child, having come to court as such a young one, and being surrounded by nothing but the gruff voices of the crownlands.

“And if you don’t mind my saying so,” he took a step closer and ran a gentle hand down your body, fingers grazing down your side and sending a shiver down your spine, “a figure that any man or woman would be blessed by the gods to know. Beautiful breasts, a round bottom, lovely thighs, I can only imagine how exquisite everything I’m not seeing is.”

His large hand gave your ass a firm squeeze, and a small sound escaped your lips; a mixture of surprise and pleasure. He was forward, there was no doubt about that, but nothing about it felt...wrong, or unwelcome. You could tell he was making sure every touch and word off of his lips that he was making sure you were okay with it. And you were. Everywhere he went, women, and men, fawned over him, dying for even a bit of affection and attention from the prince. Here you were, having down nothing and you were the object of his desire.

“You flatter me far more than I deserve, your highness,” your cheeks were on fire as he smiled at you, trying to reassure you that his affection was well deserved.

“Please,” he insisted, bringing a hand back up to your face, “enough with the formalities. Oberyn.”

“Oberyn,” you repeated, enjoying how it felt on your tongue, so sweet and foreign, much more interesting than anyone you encountered through your daily duties.

“What was your name?”

“It doesn’t matter,” you insisted, but he was not fooled by your attempts at deflection. Instead, he leaned against the carved marble pillar, arms crossing his chest as he analyzed you, “you know my name.”

“My dear, sweet little one,” you sighed lightly at the sound of his voice, so rich and warm, hitting each last nerve within you, “everyone has a name. It means something, even if that of a bastard.”

“What if I don’t want to have a name? What if I want to be no one?” you shrugged as you leaned against the column facing him, “what if I want to hide in the shadows?”

“Y/N,” your name had never sounded more lovely or magical than when it came off of his lips. It sounded pretty, beautiful almost, “it matters. You should be proud of who you are...unless you are some sort of monster, which I already know you are not.”

“You already know my name.”

“And you know exactly what I’m referring to you. I am a prince, sweet one, not a fool.”

“Flowers,” you gave him a soft smile, “just like all bastards of the Reach.”

“But you’re not a bastard,” he pointed out as you nodded, “so why do you claim the name?”

“So I can be no one.”

“You, my sweet girl,” he was by your side again in no time, leaning only mere inches between the two of you. He smelled warm and sweet, likes spices and exotic fruit. Enchanting. Lovely, “are destined to be so much more than no one.”

“I assure you, it doesn’t matter,” you said after a few beats of silence, “my family was once one of the many great houses, just like so many others. But they fell and were broken apart over the years. The remainder of them are common merchants now. It’s easier to claim the name of a bastard than to receive pity for your family’s misfortunes from the likes of Lannisters and Starks and whomever else.”

“I am sure you far outshine them in every way,” he pushed a few locks of your hair out of your face, “your kindness is fair greater.”

“I...I know why you’re here, your hi- Oberyn,” you were scared that you had overstepped your boundaries, but weren’t able to hold back your tongue. He was so forward and open with you, surely he wouldn’t mind if you did the same.

“And why is that?” his curiosity was piqued as he tried to read your expression.

“Your sister,” you answered softly and he shifted on his feet, shoulders tensing slightly, “I used to work for her...when I was just a child...before. She was the kindest woman I had ever met, gentle and sweet to everyone she ever encountered. Beautiful to no ends and her smile could light up the entire kingdom. Her babes were just as sweet, they would grown up to be the kindest people.”

“You knew Elia?” he was quieter now, and had a soft pang to his voice. He still missed and longed for his sister. Even though she had been gone for some time now, he still mourned for her and her children every day.

“She’s probably the reason I’m still alive,” you admitted, “she took me under her wing when I was brought here. I miss her too. I cannot imagine the sadness and burden it must have placed upon you and I would not dare to imagine. But I know how hard it was on someone like me, just a servant.”

“I think of her every day,” he admitted, “I know I cannot get her back, but it doesn’t dull the pain; Dorne has mourned her loss every day. Instead we must honor the memory of those we’ve lost, instead of letting grief consume us, no?”

“Yes,” you agreed, placing a small smile back on your face. You hadn’t meant to bring the mood down, but you wanted to let him know where you stood, that you were on his side, “I...I blame myself some days. When they attacked...I just ran and hide. I ran and ran and ran until it felt like I couldn’t breathe and then I hid and waited, waited till the smoke had cleared and it was safe to come out. I didn’t even try to help her or her babies. I just wonder if...I had stayed if I could have done something.”

“You were a child,” he could imagine the horrors you had seen, all the thoughts and emotions that had stayed with you throughout the years, “it was not your place to do anything. You protected yourself; it is our instinct to flee and hide, especially as children.”

“I was a coward.”

“You were a child,” he repeated firmly, “you were not a coward and it was not your duty to protect anyone. They should have protected you.”

You weren’t even aware of the fact that a few tears had rolled down your cheeks, but Oberyn was quick to wipe them away. He brushed a thumb over your cheeks, in such a soft and intimate gesture, offering you a small, reassuring smile in return. You put your hand on his wrist and gave it a firm squeeze, “thank you.”

“Y/N,” you almost jumped out of skin at the sound of Cersei’s grating voice. Swiftly wiping the rest of your tears away with the back of your hand, you took a step back from the prince, who seemed completely nonplussed, “surely you’ve got other duties to attend to. I’m sure the prince’s wine and berry need has been satiated for now. We know where to find you if we want more. Go on and apologize to his highness for your folly and distraction.”

Your eyes widened in surprise as you let out a shaky breath and gave her a nod. She had her trademark smirk on her face and you wished you could slap it off of her pinched features. She really was cruel down to her core, and you often wondered when the last bits of humanity had left her. You wondered how much she had seen or heard. Hopefully not enough to warrant any sort of punishment.

Instead, you gave her a nod and small bow before turning back to Oberyn, “I apologize for my indiscretions, your highness. Please let me know if I can be of service at any time.”

“What did I tell you, my sweet girl, call me Oberyn,” he was not bothered by Cersei in the slightest and her jaw dropped in surprise. You couldn’t hide the small smile that crept onto your face, “and do not apologize for a conversation I have initiated. Surely even the lovely Cersei can understand that people enjoy conversation.”

“I...yes,” you returned his warm smile, unable to contain yourself and enjoying the little thrill that defying Cersei had placed in your bones. He reached for your hand and placed a kiss, chaste kiss to the back of it. You knew Cersei must have been dying on the inside at the exchange, frankly, so were you, “thank you, Oberyn.”

“I’ll see you soon,” he promised, making it a point to look directly at Cersei, who was fuming silently. If she had been a kettle, steam would have been exploding out of her ears, “I’ll find you.”

Just before you could turn to return to the kitchen and go about the rest of your daily duties, Oberyn trailed his fingers over your face, letting his gaze linger on your lips, “until later, dear Y/N.”

You turned to go back inside without another word, a bounce in your step at what had just happened. But just before you got inside, you heard him call after you, “I’m glad you enjoyed my berries, sweet girl!”

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#oberyn martell #oberyn martell x reader #oberyn x reader #prince oberyn #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #got #i am shameless but idc

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foilfreak · 3 years

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BEAUTY AND HER BEAST: Chapter 9 (temporary 1-2 week hiatus being taken from his fic, click ao3 link and read end notes to find out why. I WILL BE COMING BACK!!!)

WARNING PLZ READ BEFORE CONTINUING: This fic is rated NSFW and contains graphic depictions of things some people may find disturbing or alarming, including, but not limited to: violence, gore, unhealthy family relationships, Oedipus complexes, gratuitous amount of pornographic literature, ableist language, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, etc. If you are someone who does not enjoy fiction with these elements in them, then I suggest you refrain from reading this, because this fic will have all that, and probably a lot more. So, this is your first and final warning to turn around and go somewhere else if stuff like this just isn't your vibe, because from this point forward, your emotional wellbeing is in your own hands, and I will not be accepting blame if you disregarded my warnings and ended up reading something you didn't like. Idk why I feel compelled to write one of these despite this being Resident Evil fanfic, but I figured I'd cover my ass just in case.

(AO3 link below)

Despite the shrill echo of Nadine’s terrified voice being something Salvatore has prepared himself for since before the young woman even arrived in the reservoir, the real thing was still somehow 100 times worse than he could have ever imagined it being.

Chaos followed as Salvatore frantically left his hiding spot, crawling across the floor as quickly as his mangled body would allow, as a loud crashing sound vibrates the whole room once Nadine’s body finally lands, quite uncomfortably I might add, on the hardwood of the floor. The sudden frantic and terrified swinging of her arms following Salvatore’s verbal slip knocked the poor woman off balance, sending her right back down to the floor for a second time.

Staring at the writhing figure of Nadine from the other corner across the room, Salvatore sniffles pitifully to himself as tears cascade down his face. Oh how appropriately cruel, that the universe wouldn’t even give Salvatore the decency of a proper meeting with Nadine, much less a chance at friendship and even less at anything past that. It makes perfect sense that this would be the way Nadine found out how disgusting and pathetic he is. Sitting alone in a dark and dingy room, watching old romance films because he has no one of his own to hold and love like the men in the movies do, and eating entire blocks of cheese all on his own, because nothing pairs with unending loneliness like the tang of sharp cheddar and the horrible stomach ache that follows it.

Putting his hands up to cover his face, a final effort to hide himself away from the beautiful woman’s gaze, Salvatore merely sat in his new corner, his shoulders shaking with sobs of agony and his body trembling in fear as Nadine’s gaze finally locked on to him, and him alone this time, in the dark silence of the room.

“H-Hey… are you alright? I’m sorry I yelled like that, I didn’t mean to startle you like that, but you suddenly spoke up out of nowhere and it scared me half to death” The soft voice from across the room asks, causing Salvatore to pause in his moment of self-loathing. Did… did she just ask him if he was alright? Wasn’t he the one who was supposed to ask her that?

“W-what…?” Salvatore chokes out, peering out slightly from behind the cover of his hood in confusion. The sight he’s met with is one that steals his breath away, much like the first time he laid eyes upon the stunning beauty this tiny woman held. However, unlike their “first” meeting, that took place back in Mother Miranda’s lab, this time there was no metal pod separating the two, Salvatore realized, as the sight of Nadine, slouched tiredly on the ground barely a few feet away from where he cowered in the corner, registered in the mutant man’s mind.

Next, of course, came her actual appearance. Black strands tousled messily across her forehead framed her round face and golden eyes perfectly. Her long white dress bunched up around her upper thighs, revealing the curves of her large, but muscular legs, that had previously been obscured by the material of her dress. Slouched shoulders and heavy breathing caused the material of Nadine’s nightgown to slowly inched its way down the front of her chest, not exposing her necessarily, but definitely revealing more and more of her lusciously plump breasts with every harsh up and down of her shoulders.

Tears continued to fall from Salvatore’s eyes even as saliva began to fill his mouth and his fear and self-loathing slowly gave way to the growing fire beginning to kindle in the pit of his stomach. The sound of his muffled sobs of anguish and arousal escaping from behind his hands causes Nadine’s face to immediately fall, agony replacing the previously wild look her face held.

“N… N-no. No no, please don’t cry. It’s alright. I-I-I’m not going to hurt you… I mean it… see… I don’t have any weapons on me” Nadine says hurriedly, standing up and doing a spin to show that nothing that could pose potential harm to Salvatore was hiding between the folds or frills of the thin garment. “See! Nothing to hide.”

Salvatore merely closed his tear soaked eyes and shook his head, the motion moving his whole body along with it. “Nooooooooooo… y-you d-don’t… under-s-stand…”

“What do you mean? What don’t I understand?” Nadine asked, kneeling back down to the ground, moving slightly closer to Salvatore than she was before, a terrifyingly genuine look of concern and worry etched into her beautiful features.

The mutant man fought back a wave of nausea and choked on a sob at the angelic sight. Hoards of hormones equating to despair and arousal battle within the hellish confines of Salvatore’s brain. The mutant man was filled with so many mixed emotions that he genuinely couldn’t tell if he wanted to tear himself apart until not a scrap of evidence of his existence remained, or if he wanted to just spring forward and consume the delectably dangerous morsel that sat so prettily before him, like an octopus latching itself upon the almighty great white shark as it just passes above their home, pulling the now helpless and unsuspecting predator down into the depths of a true monster’s domain.

“Hey, come on now. It sounds like you’re having a hard time breathing. Why don’t you come out of the corner where the air’s a little fresher, ya?” The young woman coaxes gently, moving ever so slightly closer to Salvatore as she speaks. The movement does not go unnoticed by the hooded man, nor does the way it pushes her dress even further up her already decently exposed thighs, but with little ability to stop Nadine’s incremental advances, Salvatore merely buries his face into his hands, blocking as much of his disgustingly bloated maw as he possibly could, even as the young woman attempted to change her angle to get a better look at him.

“P-p-please… jus-just stop!” Salvatore commands, suddenly filled with a wave of confidence that abandons him just as quickly as it arrived. “j-j-j… j-just… g-go… please…”

A light mist has become visible in the light reflecting off of Nadine’s eyes, the young woman looking truly saddened by the strange man’s utter rejection of her. Whether it was out of pity for Salvatore’s sake, or fear of her own impending isolation should the likes of Salvatore even reject her company, the hooded man could neither tell, nor did he really want to know.

“Well that’s not a very nice thing to say to someone trying to be your friend now is it? I might not look as normal as I used to but I’m not here to cause any trouble” Nadine scolds lightly, her voice strong, though even Salvatore can detect a slight wobble. “But… if you can give me a valid reason why I should leave, then… then I’ll do it, no questions asked.”

A valid reason? What other reason did she need than to get away from him?

Salvatore takes a moment to wipe away some of the tears that coated his face, slightly peeking out to look at the younger woman once again before speaking. “Y-you… you can’t… s-stay here… th-this place… it i-isn’t… isn’t g-good enough f-for you… it’s… i-its not w-worthy… I-i… I’m… n-not worthy… of you…”

Nadine shifts slightly closer once again, a pained look cut into her face like a raging storm cuts through large waves out in the open ocean. Her whole body was a sea of turbulent waters as she gingerly reached her hand forward, slowly but surely inching her way closer to Salvatore, until her wine dark fingers just barely brushed against the thick, rugged fabric of his overcoat.

Silence befell the two mutants, permeating the room with tension so thick and heavy Salvatore thought he might suffocate.

The cornered man could not bring himself to look up as Nadine’s delicate fingers gently latched on to the article of clothing covering his wretched and disgusting form. Salvatore shuddered as he prepared himself for what was inevitably to come once Nadine removed his overcoat: the biting cold of the surrounding area pinching and nipping at his thick, but sensitive flesh; another shrill shriek of fear and terror that would pierce him to his very core; the sound of Nadine, beautiful, gorgeous, perfect, immaculate Nadine, fleeing not just the underground tunnels that had lead her to discover this place, but also the reservoir, never to be seen again.

Salvatore wouldn’t blame her for this choice, of course. After all, it’s what he would do if he found himself trapped with a wretched creature as grotesque and pitiful as he himself was. Death wasn’t an option Salvatore had the luxury of entertaining, but he never blamed others if they chose it over him.

He would too, if he could.

Despite his earlier expectations, the hand on his coat never moves to take the garment off the trembling man, instead, moving to gently run along the side of Salvatore’s head, down his shoulders, before resting itself softly, but firmly, along the area of growths that covered the small of his back. After taking a moment to allow the violent trembling of Salvatore’s body, in response to the young woman’s gentle caresses, to calm down to something more manageable, Nadine slowly lifts her left hand and rests it on the opposite side of the hunched-over man’s head, yet she makes no move to try and take his cloak off or remove his face from his hands.

Stillness and silence return for a brief moment, almost as though Nadine were waiting for Salvatore to raise objection to her advances and stop her, as if he had the power or control to do anything but cower in the corner and cover his growing excitement in shame. With no explicit objections voiced, the hands resting gently around Salvatore began to slowly pull him toward Nadine’s body.

“Come here” Nadine’s soft, heavenly voice commands lightly, as Salvatore’s body does as instructed with no resistance whatsoever. A broken sob of humiliating arousal escapes the hooded man when he gently falls forward into Nadine’s lap, her arms quickly moving to wrap around and hold the hooded man against her soft, warm, and strong body.

“Shhhh, it’s alright. There’s no need to be so worked up. You have nothing to be afraid of, here” Nadine coos soothingly, as her hand gently caresses his thin, leather covered arm.

Salvatore cries pitifully as the painfully comforting words and actions make him want to vomit from overjoy. “Y-you… you d-dont unders-s-stand…” the hunched man weeps, his voice slightly muffled by his knees as he continues trying to hide his face by shoving it as far between his legs as he’s physically capable.

“What don’t I understand? Could you explain it to me?” Nadine asks, patiently holding the sobbing mess of a man firmly against herself as he collects himself enough to answer.

“I-it isn’t… you… th-that I f-fear…” Salvatore begins, trailing off as another wave of cold dread and fiery desire collide violently somewhere deep inside the hooded man’s chest.

“What is it that you’re afraid of then? If not... me?” The young woman’s angelic voice questioned, the slightly fearful and worried tone of her voice toward the end of her question, as if what Salvatore thought of her was even worth her precious time to worry about, made the mutant man’s stomach wretch sickeningly.

“I-I… I f-fear… oh god-” Salvatore began, before promptly shutting up and shoving Nadine as far away from him as he could from that angle, throwing himself to the floor, on his hands and knees, in the opposite direction just as a wave of acidic bile forces its way from the confines of the man’s mouth and out onto the floor in front of him. His own hideous reflection stares back at him in the growing puddle of stomach acid once he’s done.

A spiteful reminder from the universe of what he was and why he lived the way that he did.

Drunkenly reaching his hand forward to smear the vomit puddle around so he at least didn’t have to look at himself AND sit in his own filth while he gathered the energy to get up and wash off in the lake, Salvatore missed the way Nadine’s eyes narrowed in confusion at the man’s clumsy movements, before suddenly widening as she realized what the hooded man was doing.

“No, wait! Don’t touch that, it’ll only make you feel worse if you fiddle around with that nasty stuff” Nadine says hurriedly, as she rushes forward to take Salvatore’s moving hand in her own and presses it firmly against her bosom to prevent the man from playing around in his own throw up. She gasps in shock and her grip tightens around Salvatore’s hand, as though she’d suddenly remembered something important she’d forgotten about and Salvatore’s hand had brought it back to her conscious mind, before shaking her head and pulling herself from her thoughts.

“Oh, you poor thing! Here, let me wipe your face for you, and try to take deeper, slower breaths while you’re at it. You’ve managed to work yourself into such a panic that it's no wonder you’re throwing up all over yourself.”

The room is spinning far too fast and in far too many different directions for Salvatore to really be sure what’s going on, however the feeling of Nadine’s skin pressed against his own as she tenderly raised the edge of her pristine white dress to wipe away the lines of green acidic bile that had been left on Salvatore’s lip, was a sensation of euphoria unlike anything the hooded man has ever felt before in his entire life.

Not even Mother Miranda’s own embrace felt quite as… ‘brutal’ wasn’t the appropriate word to use based on its true definition, but in that instance it's the only word that Salvatore can think of to describe how intense everything around him, Nadine especially, feels at the present moment. Her touch, her scent, her warmth, her weight, her firm grip around him, the constant rhythmic thrum of her heart beat against his cold, bony hand, all of it was so intensely brutal that it was a wonder how the combined effect didn’t beat him into the floor. It was too much for Salvatore to handle all at once, and yet he knew that if the kind angel sitting next to him retracted so much as a single one of those sensations, he’d lose himself to insanity like careless swimmers lose themselves to sudden rapid currents.

Salvatore threw up 3 more times before his stomach finally allowed him the relief the hooded man had desperately been craving. The floor was an absolute mess by this point, but thanks to Nadine, who’d managed to keep his upper body upright the whole time, Salvatore hadn’t made nearly as much of a mess of himself as he normally did, though that still didn’t fix the primary problem that had resulted in all that vomiting.

“There we go. That must feel a lot better, huh?” Nadine asks calmly, pulling Salvatore in to rest against her chest once again, his face still turned downward and away in avoidance.

Although Salvatore does not grace her question with a response, the hooded man has long since given up trying to get away from the young woman, at this point just allowing her to move him however she pleased, taking in as much of her kindness and affection as he possibly could, before she inevitably hightails it out of here, of course. It was only a matter of time, at this rate.

“You know… you’re a lot bigger than I expected you to be” comes a sudden declaration from Nadine, breaking the silence that had permeated throughout the room and immediately pulling Salvatore from his dejected whimpering.

“I mean… I suppose I should have expected that, especially since most middle schoolers are taller than me, nowadays” the young woman continues with a lighthearted chuckle, “but you looked so small and stump-like from all the way up in that stupid pod that I couldn’t help but be a little surprised when I felt you had arms and legs. You could have very well had a snake for a body for all I knew and I still don’t think I’d have been as surprised, though this huge coat you're wearing certainly doesn’t make getting a good look at you very easy.”

“Th… that’s th-the point…” Salvatore mumbles, though seemingly more to himself than anyone else.

“Really? And why is that?” Nadine asks curiously, clearly having heard the older man’s muttering.

“I-if… if you k-knew me… you’d know… th-the answer to that q-question” Salvatore replies sadly, fresh tears beginning to prickle along his lower lid, threatening to spill over as the depressing reality of his meaningless existence makes itself more than obvious.

He was a filthy monster who deserved to spend the rest of his life alone and miserable, because why would something as unholy as him ever be worthy of anything else?

“Oh, now I don’t think that’s true at all. After all, I’d like to think I know you pretty well, and I still want to see what you look like” Nadine counters, her words shocking Salvatore beyond belief.

She… knew him? How? When? In what ways? What?

The only other time they’ve ever interacted was back in Mother Miranda’s laboratory. While the hooded man supposed his gifts could be aiding in Nadine’s surprisingly positive impression of him, he hesitated to call receiving a dress and a necklace from a random stranger “knowing” someone. How on earth could she say she knew him when, for all intents and purposes, they’ve only just met?

“B-b-but… h-how… how d-do you k-know… m-me? Y-you have… t-trouble… seeing… d-dont you? D-did… did y-you see me… b-back in the l-lab?” Salvatore asks, tears belonging to an unspecified emotion once again beginning to fall as a hand moves to gently grasp at the bones lining the top of his hood.

“Unfortunately no, I wasn’t able to get a good look at you before, hence why I was trying so hard to catch a glimpse of you earlier. You are, however, right in the assumption about my eyesight. I have severely impaired vision, yes, but it's manageable with a strong enough prescription; not that I see myself getting to an eye doctor anytime soon for a new pair of contacts. But even without my contact lenses, I can still make out general movements, as well as general shapes and colors, pretty easily from far away, it's just fine details from a distance and darkness that give me the most trouble. My vision is actually perfectly normal so long as whatever I’m looking at is within a few feet of me. If I looked down right now, I’d probably be able to see your face normally. Do you hide your face away from everyone around here?” the young woman asks curiously, gently pulling the dark fabric of the hood back, slowly revealing Salvatore’s face to the dim light of the room, even as her gaze remained locked on the wall behind them.

“N-not… e-everyone… th-there’s a f-few… who… who I sh-show my f-face to… regularly” Salvatore chokes.

Really?” Nadine asks, “like who?”

“M-my… siblings.”

“Oh, so you’re not the only one around here then? Are your siblings here in the reservoir?”

“N-no… th-they live… in o-other places… of th-their own… a-around the v-village.”

“Wow, so there is more of this place to explore, then!” Nadine states excitedly. “I’d love to get out and see more of the area for myself at some point, though I doubt that’s very wise given the amount of howling I’ve heard the past few nights and the fact I don’t know my way around this area... though, even if I did, that memory is probably long gone along with the fucking rest of them… not that I would have wanted to hold onto them anyways, I don’t think.”

Salvatore’s attention is caught by the last bit of Nadine’s statement, confusion filling him over what the younger woman could possibly mean by what she’d just said. “‘G-gone along w-with the rest o-of them?’... W-what… d-does that… what d-do you m-mean?”

Nadine remains silent for a moment as she continues to absentmindedly stroke the side of Salvatore’s head, the hooded man unable to tell what she could possibly be feeling right now without risking exposing his face to her.

Thankfully, Nadine resumes speaking before Salvatore loses patience and gets too risky. “My memory of the life I had before waking up in that damn pod is foggy at absolute best, but I don’t need my memories to know that I wasn’t very happy with my previous life and that I was actively trying to get away from it somehow. What exactly was I even running from and where was I going? Who knows, and frankly I don’t care to relearn it either. I do think it's quite funny that you were talking about me needing to go somewhere else because this place isn’t good enough for me though, because honestly, even if I could somehow get the hell out of here, it's not like I’d have anywhere else to go. Getting away from the shitty life I had before is probably how I ended up here to begin with, though if I’d known this was how things would end up I might have reconsidered throwing it all away so suddenly.”

Had it not been for Mother Miranda being there for him throughout the years, Salvatore would probably think much the same way as Nadine about the whole situation, but having Mother meant he always had a purpose and a goal to work towards, so it didn’t matter that Salvatore couldn’t return to his old life. What shocked the deformed man the most however, was the fact that Nadine appeared to not only already accept the fact that she couldn’t go back to her former life, but seemed to actively be searching for something, anything new to try and fill the void that had been left behind by the life she’d, more or less, willingly gave away to come up here.

Could… could this mean…?

“Thankfully my ability to make new memories doesn’t seem to have been fucked up at all, which I’m quite happy about since I'll be needing to make a lot to fill in the empty spaces in my brain. We met for the first time in the underground laboratory I was being kept in, though I suppose it was less ‘meeting’ and more ‘seeing’ for the first time, but… still. I don’t know why you were there, or who was with you at the time, but I remember waking up just before you were about to leave. There were a couple others who’d come, before you, to look at me and a couple others for some reason, but you were the one who stuck out the most, to me. You were… special!”

Shock and dumbfounded awe nearly choke the life right out of Salvatore. He could barely comprehend a single word the young woman was saying to him, yet he clung to every heavenly syllable she uttered like they were the foundations of the word of god itself. The pain and agony he normally felt due to his cadou mutations momentarily paused, slowly weaning from its usual constant thrum to a dull numbness that felt surprisingly euphoric in all it’s nothingness.

“S-special? Me?” Salvatore breathed, almost unable to believe the words, even as Nadine hummed in affirmation of their truth. “B-but… how…?”

The giddy chuckle Salvatore’s mundane question pulled from Nadine shook the deformed man to his very core. Her girlish laughter rattles violently around inside the deformed man’s head, playing the sweet, holy tune over and over again, like a broken record that Salvatore would happily go insane listening to for the rest of eternity if he could.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’d have assumed you knew exactly what you were doing with how sweetly you talked back there, why it's almost criminal how suavely you stroked and tugged at the strings of my delicate heart. All the others were so rude, boring, and/or annoying that I thought I might die if I ended up stuck with one of them, but then you came in and swept me right off my feet. It was like nothing else I’ve ever felt before and immediately told me that you weren’t like all the others, you were a kind man and if I ever ran into you I could tell I’d be able to trust you…” Nadine trails off for a moment. “When I learned that we were being moved out of containment and onto our “permanent homes”, I hoped and prayed that I’d be lucky enough to end up wherever you were, but I didn’t want to get too excited until I found out for certain.”

“Th-then how did y-you know… it-it was me?”

“How could I possibly not? You set yourself apart from all the others right out of the gate. I'm honestly shocked you don’t remember it yourself. But there's not a single doubt in my mind that I know exactly who you are… er- well, I suppose a more appropriate way of putting that would be “I know exactly who you are to me”, not that what other people say or think has ever really been something I’ve taken with more than a grain of salt” Nadine giggle beautifully, smiling kindly as she cradled Salvatore’s hoodless, tear soaked face against her, like he were the most precious thing she’d ever laid eyes upon and wanted to hold and protect him until the end of time.

Unable to look away any longer, Salvatore allows his head to rise from his knees until it settles upon the face of the woman currently cradling him in her arms. Her gaze remained turned away from Salvatore for a moment, though for some reason the hooded man had a feeling that it was more out of respect for him and his boundaries than a lack of desire to see his face.

What a strange thing, to be treated with more kindness, love, and respect from a complete stranger than from the majority of people you interact with.

Salvatore wanted to cry when Nadine’s golden eyes finally lowered to him, her face slowly shifting downwards until their noses were little more than an inch apart from one another, though whether his tears were from agony or ecstasy, even he couldn’t properly tell at the present moment. Only one question was on his mind and the deformed man would stop at nothing until he got an answer for it.

“W-who… who am I-I… t-to y-you?” Salvatore asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he forces himself to stare directly into the endless pool of honey yellow swirling around in her irises, wanting-no… needing to know, to see with his own two eyes, what exactly he was to this woman, and whether that answer would spell endless disaster for him and his deep seeded desires, or be the key that unlocks a world of possibilities almost as endless as the spheres of gold that Salvatore finds himself unable, or rather unwilling, to tear his gaze from, lest this be the first, and last time he ever be blessed enough to see them from this close.

A long moment of silence passes as Nadine returns Salvatores gaze, the fondness of her expression only growing as she lowers her forehead to rest against his, a soft, almost breathlessly enamored expression that he’d only seen on black and white screens cast toward men eons more pleasant to look at than he was, slowly spread across her perfect face as she finally answers Salvatore’s question.

“You’re the lovely man who held my hand!”

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wenwenbittercake · 4 years

Text

Hizashi x readers (mafia edition)

(This is so cute I'm crying.This is pure fluff. Sorry if you don't enjoy it.i tried my best.��🙏😓😓😓)

"Beep... Beep... Beep." The sound of your alarm clock woke you up like every morning. You brush your teeth, take a shower, and wear a decent cloth that make you look modest. As usual, u walk down stairs and greets everyone. Everyone in the gang respect you to the fullest. You were happy to be the lady of the house. To be treated better than anyone. This didn't make you prideful. You take responsibility of most things in the house where the man who's behind this door takes responsibility of the gang.

You stood cold in front of a large door. You are familiar of this feeling but still can't get use to it. You walk in while holding a food tray for the man who's sitting behind the desk.

His name is Shoto Aizawa. One of the most ruthless boss in Musutafu. He is known to be sharp with his decisions and a cold person. You don't think those rumors are true.

Aizawa was beside you for the longest time. He's your father's right handed before he passed away. He trusted him to the fullest and didn't think twice to give his position to Aizawa. He was pretty close to you before he became the gang leader. But he distanced from you now. You know this is because he cares about you and didn't want you to be hurt.

"Thank you." Aizawa said as you place his breakfast on the table.

"Your welcome." You put on a smile and leave.

As you were about to leave he said, "I'm going on a business trip this afternoon, so you don't need to bring dinner here."

You nodded slightly and left.

You already got use to his stone cold speeches. The only thing you won't get use to it his complements.

"Beeeep Beeeeeep" A long bus honk woke you up from your sleepy self. Today is grocery day. You go buy groceries and things that the gang wants, like tooth brushes, tooth pastes and even shampoos. You waited on the bus stop for your bus to arrive, you can see a glimpse of the blonde man from a far.

His name is Hizashi Yamada, your private security, also your friend. You smile at him and wave him to come. He looked joyful hops towards you.

"Heyyyy y/n. Haven't seen you in a while!"

"Yeaaa, it just I'm busy with the house these days." You smile and continue your chit chat. It was interrupted bye a bunch of high school students.

Hizashi was about to scold them but you hold him. Looking at the high school students, this reminds you that you've never experienced a normal high school life. You were home school by the best teacher in Musutafu. You never dated a high school boy, never had best friends. You missed out on the best moments of life. You felt suffocated sometimes, you hope this life would just end faster.

When Hizashi realized your sad he hold your hand. This shock you a bit.

"Sorry I wasn't focusing." You apologize.

"It's fine. I wanna show you something. Come." He said as he pulled your hand.

He hold your hand and run to somewhere. You felt the cold air hitting your face. It was refreshing. You finally felt something. Like happiness, comfort and freedom.

He stop, causing you to hit his back.

"We're here! Close your eyes!" He said as he closed your eyes with his palm.

"Hehehe, what is it?"

You said as he slowly walk a few steps down with you. It's like a stair?.

"I'm gonna fall, what is it?"

"We're here." He slowly open your eye. And what you see beyond is amazing. You see the whole city.

You were breathless. It's the first time you saw this view. You never know it even exist.

"Whatcha think?"

"It's.... Perfect Hizashi." You give him a smile that he would die for.

"Umm..i'm happy you liked it." You nodded in response. Hizashi blushes how happy you look. He had never seen this type of happiness in you. He wants to see more of it. He wants to spoils you with the outside world. Just to see you smile.

"You know.... I can take you to other places if you like. You can buy the groceries tmr if you want to...." He knows that he's committing a death penalty here. He knows that he will be punish for taking a daughter of a mafia boss to unsafe places are a crime. But, he just wants to make you happy.

"Yes! Pls (✪ω✪)/" He knows he can't say no to that response.

You both first go to a busy market Street, filled with street foods that she had never tried before and color full lanterns.

Hizashi laugh at your expression to different food you tried. He take out his phone and took a picture of you trying the roasted octopus. He laughed how you struggle to bite the tough octopus. 🐙🐙🐙🐙

Later he takes you to an aquarium. Also one of the biggest aquarium in Musutafu.

Your eyes light up when you saw colorful fishes. You love sea creatures since your young. You've seen it on TV but never up close. You smile and giggled at how cute the jellyfishes swim.

"What are you giggling at?" Hizashi said jokingly.

"It's just... They look so cute when they swim. Oh look at that one, it just sinks. That one look so small and cute..." Hizashi is now lost in your words, your smile, your excitement after the jellyfishes.

He loves you more than anything. His feelings for you started since he started working for you after your dad died. You were so kind, so gentle with him, no matter how many lifes he killed, no matter how much blood he is covered in, you still welcome him with open arms.

He promised this is the last place he's taking you. You pouted at him and follow. To be honest, you didn't want this to end, you still wants to see the world with Hizashi.

"I promise this is the last, and you won't regret it." Hizashi says with excitement.

You look at his face carefully now and realized a scar on his right eye. Lucky it did blinded him. You reach your arm out and rub his scar. Which makes him jump.

"Y/N! What's wrong?" His hand clenched on the steering wheel.

"Where did you got this?"

"Oh-it's just in one of the fights don't worry about it." He said so calm and gentle.

"Be careful next time, I can't get my right handed hurt all the time."

He blushed at the nick name you give. He gives a chuckle at you in response.

"Oh we are here!"

"What is this place?" You asked he takes you in to the street filled with bright lanterns.

"Today is new year. As a new year celebrating, people here sell treats and lanterns. They also have games that you probably can play.

He held your hand tight and walk through the crowd. You look around in amazement. Everything is so bright and colorful. You could never imagine you would be here with..

"Y/n I think you can play that one."

Hizashi.

"Okie"

You both try new foods and play many games. You missed the cans everytime you shoot, so Hizashi helps you out. He got it, wining an octopus plushy.

"See I told you I can get it!" Hizashi said proudly.

"Alright Mr smart pants" You said as you pinch his left arm.

"Ouch, hahahaha" You both laugh.

"Oh wait, I need to show you the surprise, what time is it?" He said as he look at his clock.

"Shit it's 11:50!" He hold your hand tightly and run towards the hill.

When both of you got on top on the hill, you both are panting.

"Sorry y/n I didn't watch the clock and..." You hold his cheeks.

"It's fine, now where's the surprise? " He blushes and take you to a little bench on the edge of the hill.

"Here," He look at his clock and smirk.

"Perfect. Now Y/N sag it with me." You both look at each other with a smile and you nodded.

"10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR🎉🎊🎇" You both yelled it out loud. Then..

Colorful fire explodes in the dark blue sky. It's so beautiful, you usually just watched from your window but never seen it this close. You close your ear and giggled with happiness.

Hizashi was not concentrating on the fire works except, he was looking at you. Admiring you giggles and laughs. Even though it's tiring to go around the city, you make it all worthy.

You look back at his beautiful green eyes, there, you finally feel a familiar comforting feeling. The warm, cozy feeling you have felt for years. Is this love?

You felt his soft lips on yours, you first kiss! He's so gentle, it makes you melt in his kisses. You both finally split from your kiss and look at each other with love and adoration.

"I..i'm so sorry y/n, I..I just got caught in the moment, I.." You give him another soft kiss.

"It's fine. I love you too."

Is this really? Is he dreaming? Words that he wish you would say actually came out for your mouth?

"Wait Y/N are you serious?" He look so shocked and blushed it makes you giggled.

"If I weren't serious, I wouldn't kiss you again you dummy." You blushes.

He can't believe it. He was so happy he picks you up and swings you around like a doll in a 360 turn.

"Yessssss! Y/N LOVES ME!" He was yelling it out loud.

"Stop your being too loud, people might here it. " You blushes. He holds you in a bridal style and yell.

"Idc! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH. Doesn't matter if the world hears that." You laugh at his cute behaviour and slap lightly on his chest.

"Stop" You giggled, follows by Hizashi laughs.

(This is too cute, I can help but stop writing the rest. I can't even believe my lonely ass wrote this 😭😭😭💖💞💕😭💕. I hope you all enjoy this cause I definitely do.)

#yamada hizashi #bnha hizashi #hizashi yamada x reader #present mic #bnha fanfiction #present mic x reader #shoto aizawa #hizashi fluff #bnha fluff

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sonic-wildfire · 4 years

Text

Emotion Sickness: Diary Entries from Shadow the Hedgehog (Part 1)

Select entries from Shadow’s diary were found and compiled by Sonic (with Shadow’s permission) as an homage to both Shadow’s development and their relationship together. The entries were made between March 2009 and October 2013. This part of the compilation contains the entries made between March 2009 and December 2010.

10:53 PM - 4 March 2009

Hmph. Another day behind me. I crossed paths with Sonic today and he offered to have lunch with me. The request was somewhat flattering, but I turned it down. I don’t really need to eat.

Why is Sonic always so nice to me? It’s a liability to be within ten feet of him at this point, considering how much trouble he gets into. Whatever. I’m better by myself anyway.

5:02 PM - 19 July 2009

Amy visited me today and said she was here on Sonic’s behalf. Don’t know why, but she wanted me to know Sonic was offering to have me over at his place.

Sonic has a permanent home? Who knew?

I thought about it for a bit, but I declined. Again, I don’t understand why Sonic continues to do nice things for me even though I’m the most miserable being on the planet. It’s not that I hate them or anything, but I just can’t get close to anybody else. What if they reject me? What if...

Forget it.

I can’t think about this stuff. I’m going to take a nap. My thoughts are the last thing I need to be with right now.

6:46 PM - 30 November 2009

Wouldn’t you know it, that stubborn blue hedgehog turned up at my door today and again asked me to spend time with him. I was about to just tell him to piss off, but something about this interaction was different. I don’t know what, why, or how, but... it actually sounded appealing this time?

Very hesitantly, I said I’d think about it but don’t expect me to take you up on the offer. He just smiled, said okay, and left.

Maybe I should at least try to be somewhat charitable for once. I called up Rouge and told her about what had happened and she just teased me over it before hanging up. You know, typical Rouge.

But she did tell me that it was ultimately my decision to make.

Hm. I think I might go after all.

12:25 PM - 2 December 2009

Just got back from having breakfast with Sonic. He was actually surprised I showed up. Honestly? I was surprised, too.

I didn’t talk too much, but Sonic... oh boy, Sonic. It’s like he never ran out of things to talk about. He’s smiling the entire time he’s with me, too. It was almost alluring just how much his bright demeanor contrasted with my moody self.

One of the things Sonic talked about was his friends. I was fully ready to just stop him right then and there (it rubs me the wrong way when anybody mentions friendship), but then he told me I was a “good friend” to him.

I asked him if he was serious. Sonic said yes.

In retrospect, it was certainly more eventful than most days. Perhaps little meetups like this would be healthier for me if I did them every once in a while.

3:59 AM - 28 May 2010

I can’t rest. I keep thinking about Sonic.

We’ve been meeting occasionally like I said I should. The longer I’m with Sonic, the more I begin to see in him what I could’ve been.

He’s a caring, generous man with everything going for him. People like him. He has a purpose in life. He’s coolheaded, rational, and valuable to society.

So why on Earth would Sonic be spending time with me, a reprehensibly depressed alien who is so completely worthless and undeserving of care? How could he possibly like me when I don’t even like myself?

I’m tired and tears are pricking at the corners of my eyes. I need to talk to someone in the morning.

1:51 AM - 29 May 2010

I called Rouge and told her about last night. She wasn’t very vocal, but she did offer a little encouragement. She said I don’t get enough sleep and that a little bit of rest would put me at ease for a bit. But I’m still on edge. What does Sonic see in me that I don’t? Or am I just overthinking this? My thoughts are erratic right now, so I’m sorry to anyone reading if this doesn’t make sense.

Ugh.

I can feel tears welling up in my eyes already.

I’m so weak. I’m so pathetic.

Who would ever want to spend time with someone like me?

All I do is brood in the corner of the room all day and be an asshole to everybody. I don’t understand how anybody could be tolerant of me, much less a “friend.”

Yet... I’m still drawn to Sonic. For whatever reason, he’s just so inviting. He’s nice. Too nice.

11:32 AM - 8 August 2010

Over the past few months, Sonic and I have been visiting each other more often, and not much has changed.

From me, at least.

Sonic has been growing even kinder towards me than before. Sometimes, he’ll give me small gifts like a scarf. Other times, he’ll ask me about myself. If I were ready, I would’ve just spilled my true feelings about myself right then and there.

But I wasn’t ready. So I just talked about the very few things I did find enjoyment in. Gardening, space, and Chao. I begged him to never tell anybody about what I said to him, and he looked at me like I had three heads but vowed to keep it a secret anyway.

I just don’t know. Sonic’s a good guy, but... I can’t bring myself to be friendly with him. If I start growing close with people, they’ll just die or leave me and I’ll be heartbroken again just like last time. I can’t go through that again. I’m not strong enough.

I appear tough on the outside. But the truth is, I’m always on the verge of breaking down. My mental state is so volatile and virtually uncontrollable.

Chaos damn it, just get out of my head already!

3:40 PM - 23 December 2010

The holiday season. A time for joy, reminiscing on the past, looking forward to the new year, and exchanging gifts.

For everybody else, that is.

Ever since I came here, I’ve spent every Christmas alone.

All the others have a big gathering at Sonic’s house, having a good time (allegedly). I was never interested in these and I always declined every single invitation I got from Sonic. Yet, like clockwork, he still sends me one every year. Maybe hoping that I’ll change my mind one year.

After a lot of self-reflection over the past year, though, I’m not sure how much more invitations I can reject before Sonic gives up trying.

I crumble in social situations. Interacting with anybody other than Rouge, Omega, or Sonic for more than ten seconds takes an insane amount of willpower.

Something has to give. Either I go for once or they stop trying.

12:48 AM - 24 December 2010

I’ve decided I need to go. Maybe bring one of my Chao if things go wrong. I’m not necessarily doing this because I want to go. In fact, I’d be a lot happier if I didn’t go because at least I know things can’t go wrong if I’m by myself.

But I can’t stop thinking about Sonic and his friends. It drives me crazy.

9:21 PM - 24 December 2010

Party’s tomorrow. Note to self: don’t fuck this up.

11:17 PM - 26 December 2010

How quickly things can change has always amazed me. Tonight proved that.

Everybody was really surprised to see me showing up, but they said they were all grateful I showed up. Sonic, of course, was the first to welcome me, giving me a hug that admittedly felt like a breath of fresh air after so much time alone. Then again, I have a reputation so I needed to act like he was crushing me to death.

I didn’t spend much time talking with other people, though I did exchange some small talk with Rouge. The usual.

As the party grew longer, I found myself being... complimented by others?

Knuckles said he hoped I was “doing well.” Cream gave me a single flower while wishing me a merry Christmas. Tails shyly waved at me (I put on a smile and waved back). Omega said I was “one of the only creatures made of flesh” he trusted.

I’m sorry. Did these people forget who they were talking to?

Dinner was fine, though I was particularly eager about the sweets. Oh, right, I forgot to mention I have a knack for candy. The more you know.

Of course, then it was time for gifts. I swear you could fill the Grand Canyon with the sheer amount of presents under the tree. I guessed that roughly three of those were for me, ready to be mailed to me if I didn’t show up.

So you can imagine my surprise when I saw eight presents being dropped into my lap and all of them reading “To: Shadow.”

We all took turns opening our presents. I had two presents from Amy (a coffee mug and a Chao toy), one present from Espio (a kunai), one present from Tails (a bag of coffee beans), one present from Knuckles (a Kill la Kill DVD) and... three presents from Sonic?!

The first one was classic Sonic stuff. A sweater with the word “faker” sewed on the chest. He thought that one was really funny. I didn’t really care.

The second one was more genuine. A pair of rocket boosters for my shoes. My old ones are just about dead, so this was welcome.

The third one... subverted all expectation. It was a small box that contained a piece of paper. It read:

“Dear Shadow, stay after the party and meet me upstairs when the others leave. Signed, Sonic.”

The others were curious about what Sonic meant by this. Silver joked that I was being sent to the principal’s office.

Eventually, the party came to a close and people left. I went upstairs as Sonic had told me, and there he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

He motioned for me to take a seat next to him. I sat down and asked him what he wanted me for, half-expecting something stupid.

“I understand you haven’t had the easiest life...”

I instantly got up to leave. No way I was sticking around to hear this again.

But Sonic grabbed my arm and yanked me back to the bed, his face now spelling genuine concern.

“...I know you mean well. Sometimes, you do things that we think are dumb but actually turn out to be smart. Other times, you just do dumb stuff. But that’s not the point. The point is, I want you to know that I’m still here for you. I can tell you’re bothered by your thoughts. But the bottom line is that I, and we, care about you. We love you, Shadow. I love you. Please don’t think you’re not worthy of being cared about. We have our ups and downs, but we always work it out eventually, right? I know your thought process works differently than mine. That does not make you any less deserving of respect. My greatest wish is that you would love yourself as much as we love you.”

I was stunned. That bastard. Quickly losing my composure, I began blubbering about how I couldn’t stand the thought of getting close to someone just to lose them again. How I’m so terrified that I will just be manipulated and used by people pretending to be my “friend.”

Sonic told me that he would never go away and that he would never “use” me.

Fuck. Fuck.

Sonic embraced me and I’m embarrassed to admit that I began sobbing as I wrapped my arms around him. I swore to myself that I’d never show any kind of weakness around them.

“It’s okay to cry,” he told me. “Don’t be afraid anymore. I’m here now. I’m here.”

“And I always will be. That’s a promise.”

#sth #Sonic the Hedgehog #Shadow the Hedgehog #Sonadow #Shasoni #Sonic Fanfiction #Fanfiction

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darthstitch · 4 years

Text

Say Something

(Or I finally grab my ailing old laptop and decide to write a longer version of the prompt: “Thorin keeps telling Bilbo how much he adores him in Khuzdul and Bilbo does’t know”)

1. Dwalin has had a long time to get used to Durin-caused bullshit.

Yes, he’s aware he’s ALSO a Durin. But his Amad was descended from the ruling family of the Broadbeams and he likes to think that he and Balin got the common sense and intelligence that ancient Dwarrow house was known for. Because Mahal only knew that the Durins didn’t have it. At all.

Case in point: Thorin falling furry arse over boots for that Hobbit.

So all right, Thorin showed uncommon good sense in that respect. Bilbo Baggins was a fine cook and the cookies would make any intelligent, self-respecting Dwarf fall on his knees and propose marriage on the spot.

(Okay, Dwalin didn’t, but that was because he took one look at his King and the Hobbit and just knew....)

But did Thorin have to go about the whole business like a complete clotpole?

Hence:

“Mahal’s balls, Thorin, REALLY?” So all right, he was sorry that he’d spewed ale all over poor Kili but the lad should really be better at ducking at dodging at this point.

Thorin’s suspiciously red ears were the real answer but his King had to snarl, “Shut it, Dwalin!”

There had been an argument. Something something Elrond, pointy-ears, not trusting them, better manners.... whatever. Master Baggins was apparently not the meek and mild little creature they had all taken him for and it was quite amusing to watch the wee one stand up to their grumpy stormcloud King.

Who apparently found it appropriate to blurt out, in Khuzdul: “Why are you so confoundedly irritatingly ridiculously ADORABLE, Hobbit?!!”

Master Baggins had no idea what was actually being said, but the Hobbit simply assumed, based from the surly tone, that Thorin was being Disagreeable and Rude. So he simply put his nose up in the air and responded with: “Bless and confound you too, Master Dwarf!” Then followed this up with a magnificently dramatic exit.

He did not see Thorin turn all the way red, nor the way Dwalin reached out to grab him by his collar because his royal Durin cousin was suddenly wobbly at the knees. Look, Thorin was an idiot, but he was still Dwalin’s king AND idiot. Durin-caused bullshit, right?

Also, Bilbo did not see or hear Fili grumpily handing a bag of coins to Kili.

All Kili said in response was: “Told you so, Fee. Absolute goober.”

2. About that bet - Fili and Kili were not stupid.

Yes, they were young. And occasionally made some silly decisions. But that came with the territory and a little silliness added some fun and excitement to one’s life.

But yes, the brothers both observed their uncle falling for their Hobbit.

The nature of the bet was HOW Thorin would go about wooing the Hobbit.

Fili was of the opinion that Thorin would behave in a manner befitting his status as a King and of the House of Durin. In short, Thorin Oakenshield would be every brooding, swoon-worthy, romantic hero in those Dwarrow romances that their Amad adored and that Fili claimed he never read (nope nope nope - never - what are you talking about).

Kili knew better. He knew his Uncle Thorin would be a complete and utter walnut. A total goober over their Hobbit.

And yes, Bilbo had become “their” Hobbit in very short order. The sons of Dis knew how to recognize a true treasure when they found it. So it was easy for them to adopt Bilbo Baggins as part of their family and had no problem telling him so.

Bilbo’s smile, the hugs he bestowed on “you dear, dear lads” and the extra portions of stew with mushrooms that they got for dinner that night, confirmed that it was the right decision. Also, who knew that mushrooms could be so amazingly delicious?

Bilbo giggled, “I’ll make hobbits of you lads yet. Or since you’re still dwarves, hmm... maybe dwobbits would be better?”

“Dwobbits?!!” was the exclamation of nearly every member of the company. Because of course they were listening in, the nosy buggers.

“Dwobbits,” Ori said thoughtfully. “Has a nice ring to it.” And of course, this immediately went into his journal.

“Dwobbits... that would explain much about the Line of Durin,” Balin mused. He twinkled at Thorin, whose ears were once again, that tell-tale shade of red. The erstwhile King of Erebor looked rather gobsmacked, as a matter of fact. “It has been said that Durin’s beloved was not a Dwarf...”

“Maybe all that hair that should’ve been on your face has gone to your feet, Kili, let me check...”

“Oi! Leave off, Fili!”

“If Mahal and Yavanna would bless us with dwobbits, I would pray that they would all have your beautiful curly hair and your adorable, kissable nose...” Thorin muttered absently in Khuzdul, not seeing the collective facepalming and coin-purse exchanging of the Dwarves close enough to hear him.

Bilbo, not understanding of course, frowned at Thorin, even as he absently separated the squabbling boys, gently cuffing them by the ears. “It’s a bit rude to be nattering about in a language one can’t understand.”

“No, Master Hobbit, I’m simply coming up with some suitable way to explain to my sister how I’ve finally tricked some poor unsuspecting soul into adopting this pair of scamps.”

“Oi!”

Bilbo calmly handed Thorin his own stew - with a generous helping of mushrooms - and said, “I’m sure you’ll manage, Your Dwobbit Majesty.”

Bilbo was going to learn Khuzdul eventually. In fact, he was fairly sure that “Irak’Adadith” meant “Hobbit.” Yavanna knew that Kili and Fili used the word to refer to him often enough.

Also, he was quite proud that he DID get all three royal Durins to enjoy mushrooms.

3. Nori and Gloin were sensible Dwarves and thus, they mostly contented themselves by running the various betting pools that had sprung up over the romance (yes, Mahal damn it, it WAS a romance and an EPIC one at that) of their King and Hobbit.

Hilariously, it was Bifur who kept winning most of the bets. It was almost as if the axe in his head granted him some sort of seer-related powers, enough to rival even Oin’s.

And yes, Oin was Gloin’s secret weapon as the canny old healer employed his gifts of selective hearing to gather all the needed information.

“Thorin Oakenshield, WHAT did you just call me? Bunnanunê? If that means ‘halfling’ - might I remind you, I am a HOBBIT and NOT half of anything, you confounded Dwarf!”

“My tiny treasure, eh?” Oin muttered. “He’s getting creative with the endearments.”

“Reminds me of my darling mizim and how I wooed her...” Gloin mused.

“Gloin, EVERYTHING reminds you of your darling wife,” said Nori.

“And so what if it does -- !”

Bifur interrupted the argument with a smug grin and a clear request for money. Yes, he won the bet again.

4. At this point, Bofur decided to start making toys for any future royal dwobbits. Bifur was quite, quite sure that Bilbo and Thorin would end up having a tiny, dark-haired and blue-eyed dwobbit at some point. Maybe there was something to the stories about Hobbits springing up from cabbage patches. Maybe Bifur really was developing Seer abilities.

In any case, “Uncle Bofur” would be happy to spoil any dwobbits with toys, while also aiding and abetting in mischief.

5. Look, Bombur did his part in all these shenanigans. He and Bilbo traded recipes throughout the journey and he was definitely NOT imagining the pink in Bilbo’s cheeks when Bombur gleefully disclosed Thorin’s favorite foods.

He also wasn’t above nudging the odds favorably when Bilbo invariably came up with something new and delicious that Thorin would enjoy. And yes, he was right there when Thorin inadvertently blurted out an utterly twitterpated marriage proposal to Bilbo that the Hobbit had mistaken for a “thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Bilbo had said with a sunny smile. He wasn’t quite sure why Dwalin was suddenly at Thorin’s side at that point, but he did give them both second helpings of dinner.

He did chalk up Dwalin’s hand on Thorin’s collar as some sort of Dwarvish shenanigans (really, Dwalin and Thorin sometimes gave Fili and Kili a run for their money when it came to ridiculous mischief).

Bombur just beamed as he caught the money bags coming his way. He was actually second runner up to Bifur when it came to the betting.

6. There was an ongoing argument between Dori and Balin.

Balin was of the opinion that Khuzdul was still their sacred, Mahal-given language, and as such, could not be shared with non-Dwarves.

Dori was of the opinion that Bilbo was a true Dwarf-friend and for Mahal’s sake, SOMEBODY had to do something regarding the truly pathetic pining of their King over his Hobbit. Yes, it was romantic and adorable but really!

Somebody had to take Bilbo aside and get him to realize what Thorin was really saying, so that their poor king could be put out of his misery.

And anyway, the Consort-to-Be of the King Under the Mountain should really learn Khuzdul.

Of course, Balin was merely stalling, because he loved a good argument and he was storing up all these wonderful, wonderful points because he was a good adviser and wanted to aid Thorin in giving any old, conservative, useless, greedy nobles collective apoplexy.

He also knew that he could count on Dori in throwing any potential threats to Bilbo off the Mountain.

7. All right, Ori had enough of this insanity.

Really, he was as avid a Storyteller as Bilbo was and he simply couldn’t end this tale of fighting dragons, regaining Erebor, tricking woodland Elves etc. etc. with: “And our King Under the Mountain was a complete and utter walnut who let his Hobbit go back to his Shire without ever letting him know how much he was loved. The End.”

Yeah, nope!

So Ori waited and watched for his opportunity and Mahal deigned to bless his efforts.

They were all currently engaged in the tedious work that scribes and historians generally left out of the tales, but were still important in rebuilding Erebor. The scene was thus - Ori and Bilbo and Thorin Oakenshield and a pile of paperwork that needed to be worked on.

It was most peculiar how Bilbo turned pink as he watched Thorin Oakenshield pull out a pair of spectacles from his pocket and put them on.

“Is there something on my face, ghivashel?”

Oh. OH.

“Well, yes, there is. Something. On your face.” Bilbo flailed.

“Surely you’ve seen glasses before, amrâlimê,” Thorin teased.

“It is STILL not polite that you keep calling me all these absurd things that you refuse to translate,” Bilbo retorted.

And at that point, Ori was absolutely DONE. “I think I would like a pot of tea. Bilbo?”

Bilbo eagerly took the offered “out” and all but pulled Ori out of the room, both of them ignoring Thorin, who was definitely not pouting. Bilbo did assure the King Under the Mountain that he and Ori would return with tea for him as well. The not-pout was erased with a brilliant smile. Bilbo waved weakly at him even as it was Ori’s turn to drag him away.

As soon as they were safely out of earshot, Bilbo slumped against Ori. “Glasses, Ori. GLASSES.”

“I know, Bilbo.”

“How does he still look so MAJESTIC and HANDSOME in GLASSES? This is most unnecessary, Ori. This is RIDICULOUS. And why am I telling you all this? I’ve gone and lost my mind, that’s it. Mad Baggins, Mad Bilbo Baggins...”

“There, there, Bilbo. If it helps, he feels EXACTLY the same way about you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous - he’s your King and -- “

“ Amrâlimê means ‘my love,’ Bilbo.”

“What.”

“Ghivashel means ‘treasure of all treasures.’ They’re endearments. Words of love. Every last one of them.”

“WHAT.”

Ori smiled. And anyone else who would have seen the smile on the quiet little Scribe of Thorin Oakenshield’s Company would have called it bright as the sun and terrible as the sea.

“I’m going to teach you Khuzdul, Bilbo Baggins.”

8. There was something comforting in confessing his love using his mother-tongue.

Thorin Oakenshield was quite resigned to the fact that he had lost any hope of gaining his One’s affections after the whole debacle with the Arkenstone and the dragon sickness. Yes, apologies were made and yes, the friendship had been mended.

And yet, Thorin was too shamed, too angry at himself to even ask for more. Bilbo had his home in the Shire, his books, his armchair and the memories of his family. There was an acorn in his hobbit’s pockets that deserved to be planted at Bag End.

Bilbo deserved all that, his own happily ever after. Thorin could never be part of that. He didn’t deserve it.

“I wish you would stay with me forever,” Thorin said one day, as he and Bilbo sat together by the hearth in the King’s own private rooms. He smiled as he shaped the words in his language and prepared to give Bilbo some excuse, a chance to banter and tease.

“I want to stay with you forever,” Bilbo suddenly said in near-perfect Khuzdul. “But you have to tell me why, Thorin Oakenshield.”

Oh, Mahal. Mahal have mercy on him.

“Please say something... ghivashel. Amrâlimê.” His darling Hobbit had turned this enchanting shade of pink and suddenly, Thorin found his words, the right words, at long last.

“Because you’ve had my heart all along, Bilbo Baggins.”

Also, kisses had to be done here. Because hearing those words from his Hobbit’s lips meant kisses, kisses that were eagerly returned, that had Hobbit hands twining in his hair and Thorin murmured a heartfelt apology as he saw tears gather in Bilbo’s eyes.

“I love you too, you confounded, ridiculous Dwarf.”

9. Bilbo eventually learned that Fili and Kili had been calling him “Little Uncle” the entire time. He laughed, he cried and then gave the boys extra helpings of pie for dessert.

A certain Dwobbit with curly dark hair and big blue eyes would always love the stuffed plush dragon that his Uncle Bofur made for him. Yep, Bifur won the betting pool again.

No, Fili and Kili absolutely did NOT have furry feet. But yes, they were proud to be Dwobbits of the Line of Durin.

Gloin had to be reminded that the Line of Durin tended to find their Ones in the most unconventional ways. This was the only logical explanation as to why his darling Gimli would eventually end up married to Thranduil’s son, Mahal save them all.

Many, many generations later, it was said among the Dwarves of Erebor that leaving knitted things and flowers at the feet of the statue of Ori, the Scribe of Thorin Oakenshield’s famed Company, would lead to blessings and luck in love.

- end -

#thorin you walnut is the best goddamn tag i’ve ever found - you guys are AMAZING

#bagginshield #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #thorin you goober #fili and kili #dwalin #ori is a BAMF #i crack what i want

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undergoingcalibrations · 4 years

Text

The Character Assassination of Aurelia Hammerlock

A review of Aurelia’s behaviour as a player character in Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel, and how Borderlands 3 fails to deliver on or logically develop her identity.

1. Aurelia and Alistair

- Sir Hammerlock: "Hello, "dear" sister. I'm sure that necrotic lump of tissue you call a heart skipped a beat when I opened your condescending message. As PLEASED as I would be to have your emotionless, creature-murdering presence in my home, I must respectfully decline your request to be housed in my mobile surveying platform during your quote-unquote holiday on Pandora. I would be delighted if we never came within a thousand miles of one another. By all means, spend some of mum and dad's blood money on a ticket. By all means, indiscriminately murder the wondrous creatures I came here to study. By all means, get your butlers to carry you around in a palanquin sewed from the skins of crying children! But don't you DARE presume to be worthy of my presence after the DECADES of teasing and torment you put me through! I WANT NOTHING! TO DO! WITH YOU! SINCERELY, SIR HAMMERLOCK!"

-Oh bloody hell, it's Alistair... Shure, hoss! No prohblehm! This definitely ain't yer sister pertending tuh be sumbodeh else to avoid gettin' inta anotha argyament with ya! ... Yee haw!" (Upon being contacted by Sir Hammerlock)

- I'm sorry...Alistair... (Entering FFYL)

If Aurelia genuinely hates her brother, why would she want to live with him for any length of time in accommodations that surely aren’t up to her standards? It’s not that she doesn’t have the means to find her own place, or would need to live with him to ruin his life. Indeed, if her goal is to torment him, why would she even ask him if she could come, and then, as her presence on Elpis in this game indicates, actually respect his wishes? Her desire to not get into an argument with Alistair also betrays that she cares more about their relationship than she lets on. If she hated Alistair enough to have him killed, as Borderlands 3 would have us believe, she wouldn’t much care about fighting with him- it would just be another opportunity to hurt his feelings, and he would have a hard time hurting hers if she really has no stake in his positive regard. Finally, when Aurelia thinks she’s about to die, what does she confess for fear she won’t get another chance? Remorse over how she treated him.

2. Aurelia and Innocents

"I... don't feel particularly enthused about this." (Before inserting Felicity into the Constructor

"Oh! Oh no..." (After Jack vents the scientists out the airlock)

I was uh... not really a fan, no." (In response to Moxxi's (during single player) or another Vault Hunter's (during co-op) question in regards to killing the scientists)

Aurelia doesn't support the unnecessary killing of innocents- in fact, in the vocal performance of "Oh! Oh no..." she is easily as shaken as Timothy, and both betray more emotional affect over this incident than any of the others. Her reaction towards the scientists is especially interesting given that while she is like Nisha enamoured with murder and like Wilhelm possessed of a certain avarice, she is unwilling to follow them over this particular line. Even when an innocent is between Aurelia and her goal, such as with Felicity, Aurelia has difficulty following through on her projected ‘Boss Bitch/ Evil Queen’ persona.

3. Aurelia and Violence

"No, no. I do believe I'll be off before your pathetic soul-patch grows into a full evil goatee, if you don't mind." (Upon entering Vorago Solitude and Jack states his plans for the contents of the Vault)

"Oh, piss off, Jack." (If the injured surrendering Lost Legion soldier is spared)

"I can make it to the Vault, you reprobate! We don't need to deal with the gunship at all!" (After RK5 appears)

"Look, darling, bloodlust can be fun, but you're taking it a shade too far." (After Jack insists RK5 be destroyed)

While it’s no secret that Aurelia, astonishingly, enjoys killing more than the average Borderlands character, she resents wanton and unnecessary violence. There is clearly a time and place for sating her desires, and she would prefer people who can’t defend themselves to stay out of her crosshairs. The galaxy has not shortage of deserving threats and challenges for Aurelia, so she feels no compulsion to engage with the undeserving, and fairly viciously attacks Jack’s character for stooping to that level.

4. Aurelia has Standards

- Mmm... I've got a niggling feeling I'm going to regret this. (After RK5 is destroyed and the way into Tycho's Ribs is open)

- Right, that's it. I've had my fun, Jack, and so I shall leave you with this one final piece of wisdom that your plasticine face will surely ignore: kill yourself. Darling, I'm evil - let's not kid ourselves, but YOU. You're just something else entirely! You're far better off opening the throat beneath that ludicrously soul-patched face than suffer the bloody karma that I imagine the universe has in store for you. And with that, I shall bid you adieu. Additionally, your breath smells like farts." (Upon turning in the mission)

- I'm no stranger to sacking the help, but Jack... this feels... extreme." (After Jack announces that he's going to destroy every Claptrap)

For someone who self identifies as evil, Aurelia is surprisingly principled. Even though she allegedly joined the expedition for a bit of mindless fun, she has an understanding of the repercussions of the change in the balance of power that happens by the end of it, and she is clearly dissatisfied by her complicity. She is the only vault hunter to make any kind of threat on Jack’s life, and given how she leads her life, I doubt it has anything to do with a belief in karma catching up with him. Aurelia would rather make a powerful enemy- an enemy who she is intimately aware does not suffer insults lightly, who will stop at nothing for revenge- then compromise her dignity by remaining silent. If Aurelia was really interested in power and money above all else, she wouldn’t burn an alliance as promising as the CEO of Hyperion owing her one over moral qualms. Finally, Aurelia seems to hate Claptraps as much as anyone, but even she is firmly in the camp of Athena and Timothy that destroying all of them would be wrong. Aurelia’s code of conduct may be short, but she will not tolerate it being infringed upon.

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #borderlands tps #aurelia hammerlock

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angieschiffahoi · 5 years

Text

Reasons why Terminator Dark Fate is a worthy sequel of T2

It wrapped up a stale story and respected its predecessor’s finale

Skynet is dead, long live Skynet. Yes, there is no fate and Sarah was able to kill Skynet, but Skynet wasn’t a product of only its time nor an incident made by rogues: Skynet was a warning of what would become of people if they were too arrogant. It’s a tale of hybris. Men get too self-reliant and create something that will bring about their downfall: they become God, but by becoming God they commit a sin so big, they will need Jesus Christ (John Connor or James Cameron, if you will) to save themselves. I mean, if you don’t see the correlation between the Virgin Mary and Sarah Connor (Sarah is also the wife of Abraham, the quintessential mother in the Bible), y’all are blind (she gets inseminated by an “angel” sent to protect her, by her own son, ergo God). Terminator Dark Fate didn’t become woke, it did what T2 started to do, it de-christianized its message for a wider audience (Hollywood doesn’t pander to white christian americans anymore in 2019, go figure). In both movies, Sarah isn’t the Virgin Mary anymore, she’s the mentor, she takes action and she changes her own future and that of billions of people: she becomes the saviour. In the sequel to TDF she obviously was supposed to be the mentor to the new saviour. By killing John, it gave the story back to Sarah and a new hope for the future, taking out some of those harmful tropes where women are only good to “birth” the father of the resistance and not be them. John Connor was never a character you were going to be satisfied with, because he’s an ideal. You liked the teen version, because he was a rebel-ish punk who did everything he wanted, had a motorcycle and a pet robot. You were never going to like the gritty future version of a man destroyed by everything and also he was never supposed to become that. All of Sarah’s struggles the moment she found out she was pregnant were to protect her son from that future. Hadn’t they killed him off in 1999, he would’ve just been a 45 year old drunk - that’s where his character was going after defeating Skynet.

It isn’t contraddictory to have another AI replace Skynet.

Skynet and Legion are a cautionary tale, they are false gods, Frankenstein’s creature and the devil. It’s not repetitive, it’s not something that can be prevented in full, because humanity IS on that path. Humanity wants to play God and Sarah and John’s effort to stop Skynet was silent, it was secret (despite Sarah’s efforts to have people believe her, nobody did). Do you really think it would be so difficult to imagine another company, working on a similar project, at the same time in the late 90s - early 2000s? The only weak point is the implication that Legion would occupy terminators and the same tactics as Skynet, but I’m guessing if Sarah has been killing Terminators in the past for 30 years, Legion could’ve “read” something about it and developed itself to fit the past or got inspired, I don’t know. It’s not that far-fetched to have another AI use the same tactics.

It introduced a new scary terminator, who is perfect for 2020

The Rev-9, like its predecessors, is an inflitration model (and that’s the only reason they cast a latin actor) who is built to hunt the same way the first two were, but it does it better: because 2020 is a scary time. The T-800 had to look on a phone book and kill three Sarah Connor before getting to the right one. This one? It needs a working internet connection.

Also, to all of you saying that politics should stay out of movies,

- the T-800 was an intimidating male hunting a defenseless woman

- the T-1000 was a cop hunting a supposed “crazy woman and criminal”

- the Rev-9 is an immigration officer hunting a defenseless immigrant.

not that hard to spot the similarities.

It answered the question “what happens to terminators when they fulfill their purpose?”

Arnie is old and that’s what made it so much more believable for me.

People keep using this quote from The Terminator to say how terrible writing and what a huge plot hole it was to make the T-800 a dad: “That Terminator is out there. It can't be reasoned with, it can't be bargained with...it doesn't feel pity of remorse or fear...and it absolutely will not stop.Ever. Until you are dead.”

Here’s a few reasons why their reasoning is biased:

First, off screen reason: this is the first movie, Cameron had no idea what would become of its own sequels. He hadn’t predicted Arnold would have such a following and I’m sure a re-programmed Terminator wasn’t in its plans. The first movie was about the horror of the terminator, we weren’t supposed to feel anything for it but fear, because its purpose was to scare us and nothing else.

Second, in-character reason: Kyle Reese is a soldier in the future. He has only seen these machines kill and maim and knows that, just because this one has skin and hair and muscle on its endo-skeleton, it isn’t less machine than the ones he has been fighting all of his life. He only knows this one’s worse: because he has a single purpose.

Third, non canon reason: Cameron from TSCC. Nobody was offended when she started to develop feelings for John in that series, why is everyone so offended by Carl now? Yeah. But it’s not canon, so let’s go to the last reason.

Fourth, canon, on-screen, in-character reason: THE WHOLE EFFING MOVIE YOU LOVE SO MUCH. Terminator 2 is all about the differences between the T-1000 and the T-800. Yes, it was re-programmed, but it wasn’t programmed to get attached to John, to learn from him, to almost act as a surrogate father, to give him a sign of their relationship as he was lowered to his death. It has been established machines can feel. Even the Rev-9, who’s still fully on mission, has a personality, the same way Patrick’s was. They exist, therfore they are. They have their own thoughts, their own doubts and that means they can develop a conscience and get attached. Carl says he doesn’t love his family the way a human would and it shows, the same way the T-800 from T2 didn’t love John like a Kyle Reese would have.

It gave us a new found family dynamic and used old tropes to tell new stories

Dani, Grace and Sarah have an amazing dynamic. Adding Carl to the mix was a bonus, because it created tension, but at the same time it gave us back that soft T-800 everyone of us fell in love with at 10-13 years old.

It did what TFA tried to do but better, imho. Star Wars fans were starved and when Disney made that movie, it still was considered a good producer of excellent content (now, not so much). TDF was produced by a variety of studios, because nobody wanted to take full responsibility after the disaster that was Genysis (and who could blame them?). Nobody praised TFA for its attempt to start a new saga, re-using ANH’s storyline with new characters and then build from there a new story, but it’s because they didn’t do it right. TFA doesn’t give you time to care about the characters, it’s a messy introduction of what could’ve been a very good trilogy if only they tried harder.

TDF, in my opinion, did try harder. It gave us a simple hunter-hunted storyline, where all of the cast is in the same place at the same time. This way, you can care about the development of their relationships. You care about Grace and Dani, not because the movie told you to, but because you can see Grace’s affection and ammiration from the very first scenes and, by the end, you see the affection Dani has for this stranger who’s sole purpose it taking care of her, when she’s so used to be the one to take care of others (see the first few scenes with her brother and father). You care about Dani and Sarah, because the whole movie builds up to the mentor storyline without telling you. You care about Carl and Sarah, because of all the build up from past movies, but also because of the little things (”I’m never f* calling you Carl” to calling him just that a few scenes later or Sarah calling out the Rev-9 by telling it, “we’re not machines”). Everything it did, it did without telling us what to feel and that’s rare in a world where franchises are constantly telling you who you should like and why, instead of writing a good story and letting you figure it out by yourself.

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It is not by far a perfect movie. Having 3 producing companies and six writers didn’t help, the same way it didn’t help that Tim Miller was basically ghost-directing for the ever-too-busy James Cameron.

It could have been better in many ways: firstly, by using smaller scenes and a smaller budget and maybe a little less CGI and a little more practical effects. It was too ambitous and fans hadn’t yet forgiven this franchise for Genysis, because fans are butthurt babies who only want things to be they way they want them (I hated Genysis, don’t get me wrong, but I decided if this movie was going to be worth it once they said it wouldn’t be a sequel and watched a couple of trailers, it isn’t that hard). Another reason it bombed, beside the active boycotting, was the close to absent promotion except for a couple of lines.

Anyway, this messy post is just to explain the reasoning why I believe it is a worthy sequel and, in my opinion, without the nostalgia goggles on and taking out of the equation the “originality” factor, I dare say it’s perfectly on par with The Terminator.

#terminator dark fate #terminator #terminator spoilers #spoilers #angie rants #ignore #personal #long post

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cyrelia-j · 6 years

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[ficlet] bonus #a Ask (Jack/Julian)

Part of the 30 Days of Jack. As it says Bonus because this isn’t part of the original prompt words but I just really wanted to write it regardless.

Series note: This is Jack/Sarina moving to Jack/Julian. These aren’t always being posted in chronological order. For now the timeline is as follows: 1, 2, 7, 4, 8, 3, 5, 6, bonus #a

Warnings: So big Trigger Warning though I’m not sure how to phrase it ANGST but also an extreme amount of self loathing, self doubt, insecurity specifically revolving around one not being neurotypical, There’s harmful behavior and thoughts present and the stirrings of an unhealthy relationship dynamic. I also want to add Julian isn’t doing this deliberately (though I understand anyone who wants to argue he should know better). This is all Jack’s processing. Julian has no idea the degree to which Jack is internalizing this and there will be a follow up where this is addressed (satisfactorily or not the reader can judge at that time)

“No. Nuh-uh no way. You can stuff that slimy thing back into the machine hm, stuff it and bury it and forget the Taberger Ring mmhm.” Jack is looking at the plate between them, looking at the Octopus, at the poulpe thinking maybe that this Jules is that Jules come back to kill him like Nemo’s ill fated crew member. He imagines it wriggling going down and scoots back on the seat a little more.

“Come on, Jack, it won’t hurt you. They really don’t have much taste to them.” He watches warily as Julian puts one of the slippery rings, slimed over with that sickeningly sweet smelling brown sauce.

“You don’t know that. You put all sort of dubious things in your mouth hm.”

“I might say the same for you,” Julian teases with a waggle of his eyebrows and Jack’s head whirls around looking, looking to see if anyone heard that Innuendo, eyes wide.

DECORUM screams in his head in that castigating old owl’s screech and he has to scream it back down.

Jack breathes, doesn’t frown, but doesn’t answer, doesn’t dignify that with a response, instead poking at one of the rings with his chopsticks warily. He counts half a second that it wriggles after he pokes it and decides that he is absolutely not putting it anywhere near his mouth.

“Please?” Julian asks again. Right, new experiences, new things, discoveries, the great frontier. But still, there’s a world of difference between Julian passing his lips and some creature.

“Why? Why should I?” he huffs, giving it another poke, counting six tenths of a second that it stays jiggling this time.

“Because you love me?” Julian asks with a hopeful little smile and Jack… freezes.

“Because you love me…” Is that how it works? He… doesn’t know. Jack is a blank, blinking, looking at Julian unsure of what to say. Is that… another joke? He plays and replays the tone back and doesn’t know because no one has… ever loved him. Julian jokes. Julian teases and Jack… is learning teasing but he doesn’t understand demand, he doesn’t understand is that… is that another Magic phrase? Is that a cue? Is that one of those things that he should Know but doesn’t know? There are so many of those and he hates when Julian has to explain those because Jack should be better than this, he was made better than this and why would they lock him away if he’s so Incapable that he can’t figure out something this simple and this stupid and-

“It’s alright,” Julian says with a shake of his head, the smile trying but Jack can see a flutter of downturned disappointment, let down, failed, a failure, and Jack is always sure to count every failure against every success because he- “don’t worry about it, Jack.” isn’t a failure and he isn’t crazy and he might not be Normal but he can Adapt and if he can’t do that much then why would anyone- Because I love you… Maybe… maybe Julian shouldn’t have had to explain. Should it... have been enough that Julian asked? Because I love you isn’t an answer that can be quantified but Julian said that love wasn’t quantifiable, it just was and Julian didn’t know why he loved Jack, he just did so-

Jack’s thumb is halfway to his mouth when he catches that Disappointment in Julian’s eyes at gesture, blaring like a beacon loud screaming in his head and he hates it, hates it, backsliding down, down, the ball rolling up the hill for an eternity the water pouring down that slope of Earth slipping back back and what if… what if he slides so far back down to the bottom that it stops? That Julian stops loving him? What if there’s no hope no Potential and Julian… lets him go? Sends him away like Sarina because Sarina couldn’t make the cut… Jack swallows hard and smiles for Julian because Julian tells him he has a marvelous smile and that’s Good because that disappointment is fading and Julian is smiling at him as he takes a piece of that… thing and brings it to his mouth.

He doesn’t taste anything. He doesn’t taste the sauce, doesn’t register anything but Julian smiling at him thinking that this is okay and that he can do this because it’s… a simple stupid thing and the thought that Julian would stop smiling at him, would stop taking his hand with a soft spoken “thank you” or “I love you” is… is unthinkable. Julian squeezes his hand, and Jack thinks that it’s worth it to be Worthy-

“That wasn’t so bad now was it?” The Octopus? No. No, and he should have known better right, right? Right. He nods and then immediately shakes his head eating another one, Julian bringing Jack’s hand to his mouth, lightly kissing the back of it, turning it over, kissing his palm, the inside of his wrist looking so very Proud of him.

Jack has a Gauge, a careful Julian Gauge measuring the parameters of his smile, the cadence, the decibel level of his voice, his tone, the amount his eyes crinkle at the corners so he knows how Happy he’s making him. He’s very happy now and so is Jack because he… understands this now.

Because I love you…

Because… Julian is… his Absolute Everything.

Jack continues eating until he thinks he’ll throw everything back up.

#star trek ds9 #ds9 jack #julian bashir #jack/julian #30 days of jack #angst #unhealthy relationship #severe emotional distress #trigger warnings #fanfic #cyrelia-j

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islamic-gemz · 6 years

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► MY RAMADAN GIFT!

❁ How To Become Sinless & A Hasanaat Billionaire Every Single Day! :) ❁

Bismillah Rabbi Zidnee Ilman “My Lord! Increase me in knowledge.” As our beloved Ramadan is leaving us, I thought this would be the perfect gift for everyone. For each and everyone of us to leave Ramadan sinless bi’ithnillah and become hasanat billionaires. Especially for busy Muslims who are pensive about not achieving their goals or have fallen short when compared to their counterparts. If you are dubious and feel you have not done enough, I pray this article will help you feel content, happy and confident about your ibadah. Make you feel you have achieved a lot this Ramadan – inshaAllah. I also pray that you continue these easy deeds on a daily basis. Before I state the deeds remember that your intention needs to be pure and for the sake of Allah alone. We can only attain perfection by being true slaves of Allah. The more our servitude increases, the more perfect we become and the higher we rise in status and attain Allah’s pleasure. I highly recommend that you take a print out of this article. Else this might end up being yet another article you read online but did not really benefit from. I have listed 7 easy deeds that everyone no matter how busy they are can benefit from. For ease and for tracking your progress I have also included a table. A Visual account of one’s ibadah progress is always an eeman booster. 🌸 DEED 1 | WUDU FOLLOWED BY 2 RAKAT SALAAH 🌸 Make Wudu/Ablution as perfectly as possible and offer 2 rakat Salaah with Khushoo without being distracted. Try your best to be least distracted and offer Salaah like you are seeing Allah and if you cannot do that atleast try to offer Salaah like Allah is watching your every move. Every Allah hu akbar and every Ruku and Sujood. Humble your heart and soul before Allah. Narrated Humran: (the slave of ‘Uthman) I saw ‘Uthman bin ‘Affan asking for a tumbler of water (and when it was brought) he poured water over his hands and washed them thrice and then put his right hand in the water container and rinsed his mouth, washed his nose by putting water in it and then blowing it out. then he washed his face and forearms up to the elbows thrice, passed his wet hands over his head and washed his feet up to the ankles thrice. Then he said, “Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said ‘If anyone performs ablution like that of mine and offers a two-rak’at prayer during which he does not think of anything else (not related to the present prayer) then his past sins will be forgiven.’ [Sahih Bukhari] Evidence – http://sunnah.com/bukhari/4/25 🌸 DEED 2 | SUBHAN ALLAHI WA BIHAMDIHI – 100 TIMES 🌸 This simple dhikr of 3-5 minutes will erase mountains of bad deeds. Reflect on what dhikr you are making and let the meaning of the dhikr sink in and change your life. Do not make robotic dhikr where your tongue is at work but your heart is lost. Always remember whenever you remember Allah, ALLAH REMEMBERS YOU! SubhanAllah!! 🙂 🙂 What greater honour there is than Allah, the creator, sustainer and Lord of the Universe remembering us. The door of Allah is always open for us: Remember me and I will remember you. We need to find our way to and through that door. Narrated Abu Huraira (ra) : Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “Whoever says, ‘Subhan Allahi wa bihamdihi,’ one hundred times a day, will be forgiven all his sins even if they were as much as the foam of the sea. [Bukhari] Evidence – http://sunnah.com/bukhari/80/100 🌸 DEED 3 | SAYING ASTAGHFIRULLAH THIS WAY 🌸 Are your sins worse than leaving Jihaad? Making this dhikr only one time will ensure you gain mountains of good deeds. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “He who says: ‘Astaghfir ullah-alladhi la ilaha illa Huwal-Haiyul-Qayyumu, wa atubu ilaihi (I seek the forgiveness of Allah, there is no true god except Allah, the Ever-Living, the Self- Subsisting, and I turn to Him in repentance),’ his sins will be forgiven even if he should have run away from the battlefield (while he was engaged in fighting for the Cause of Allah).” Dua in Arabic: أستغفر الله الذي لا إله إلا هو الحي القيوم وأتوب إليه [Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi and Al-Hakim (on conditions of Al-Bukhari and Muslim for accepting Hadith)] Evidence – http://sunnah.com/riyadussaliheen/20/6 🌸 DEED 4 | DUA AFTER EATING 🌸 Reciting this small and beautiful dua after eating a meal will forgive your past sins. Just a little act of praising Allah for providing us with food. Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “He who has taken food and says at the end: الحمد لله الذى أطعمنى هذا ورزقنيه من غير حول مني ولا قوة Al-hamdu lillahi-lladhi at ‘amani hadha, wa razaqanihi min ghairi haulin minni wa la quwwatin (All praise is due to Allah Who has given me food to eat and provided it without any endeavour on my part or any power) all his past sins will be forgiven.” [At-Tirmidhi] Evidence – http://sunnah.com/tirmidhi/48/89 🌸 DEED 5 | HABIT OF RECITING THIS AFTER EVERY WUDU 🌸 Every single one of us wants paradise. Imagine 8 gates of paradise being opened for you 5 times a day! Narrated ‘Umar (ra): Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: “If one after performing ablution completely recites the following supplication: (Ash-hadu an la ilaha ill-Allahu wahdahu la sharika lahu, wa ash hadu anna Muhammadan ‘abduhu wa Rasuluhu) ‘I testify that there is no one worthy of worship but Allah, He is Alone and has no partner and Muhammad (ﷺ) is his slave and Messenger’, all the eight gates of Paradise will be opened for him and he may enter through any gate he wishes”. [Bulugh al-Maram] Evidence – http://sunnah.com/bulugh/1/66 🌸 DEED 6 | RECITE THIS DHIKR 4 TIMES 🌸 Reciting this dhikr one time equals doing ibadah for 6 continous hours. And if you recite this 4 times it will be as if you have been continuously praying 24 hours a day! Imagine the reward of praying 24 hours a day – subhanAllah Juwairiyah bint Al-Harith (May Allah be pleased with her) reported, the Mother of the Believers: The Prophet (saw) came out from my apartment in the morning as I was busy in performing the dawn prayer. He came back in the forenoon and found me sitting there. The Prophet (saw) said, “Are you still in the same position as I left you.” I replied in the affirmative. Thereupon the Prophet said, “I recited four words three times after I had left you. If these are to be weighed against all you have recited since morning, these will be heavier. These are: Subhan-Allahi wa bihamdihi, ‘adada khalqihi, wa rida nafsihi, wa zinatah ‘arshihi, wa midada kalimatihi [Allah is free from imperfection and I begin with His praise, as many times as the number of His creatures, in accordance with His Good Pleasure, equal to the weight of His Throne and equal to the ink that may be used in recording the words (for His Praise)].” [Muslim] Evidence – http://sunnah.com/riyadussaliheen/16/26 🌸 DEED 7 | SURAH IKHLAAS 3 TIMES 🌸 Nearly every single Muslim knows this but how many of us truly put this to practice or benefit from it? قُلْ هُوَ ٱللَّهُ أَحَدٌ. ٱللَّهُ ٱلصَّمَدُ. لَمْ يَلِدْ وَلَمْ يُولَدْ. وَلَمْ يَكُن لَّهُۥ كُفُوًا أَحَدٌۢ. Say, “He is Allah , [who is] One, Allah , the Eternal Refuge. He neither begets nor is born, Nor is there to Him any equivalent.” {Surah Al Ikhlaas 112} Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) reported about Surat Al-Ikhlas (Chapter 112): The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “By Him in Whose Hand my soul is, it is equivalent to one-third of the Qur’an.” According to another version, he (ﷺ) said to his Companions, “Is anyone of you incapable of reciting one-third of the Qur’an in one night?” They considered it burdensome and said: “O Messenger of Allah, which of us can afford to do that?” He (ﷺ) said, “Surat Al-Ikhlas [Say: He is Allah (the) One] is equivalent to one-third of the Qur’an.” [Al- Bukhari] Evidence – http://sunnah.com/riyadussaliheen/9/20 Islam is beautiful and Islam is easy. Our Rabb is Ar Rahman – Ar Raheem and He azza wa jal has given us so many easy pathways that lead to Jannah. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has encouraged us to follow a middle path without going to either extremes. This is a very small list of good deeds. My hope for my readers is that they continue to do this consistently even after Ramadan ends. And to push their comfort zones and do more good deeds in the form of extra Ibadah, charity, visiting the sick, sponsoring an orphan – the opportunities to please Allah are unlimited. Real eeman once lodged in the heart of a believer should become the center of a believers life who fears and loves Allah. This eeman should never remain in a stagnant phase it should flourish like a mighty tree of righteous deeds and should be unshakable like the strong mountain ranges. Dear reader I pray this little effort of mine is a source of confidence in your life with regards to your worship of Allah and that Allah gives you and I the tawfique to keep increasing our good deeds till we meet Him in Jannah where Allah is well pleased with us. Ameen ya rabbul alameen. If you have benefited from this article please leave a comment and share it with your family and friends. Authored by Shamsiya Noorul Quloob

#ramadan #sin #forgiveness #islam #islamicgems

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nanowrimo · 7 years

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NaNo Prep: 3 Tips to Create Fantasy Worlds People Would Trade Reality For

We’re deep into NaNo Prep Season, and this week, we’ve asked participants to share their thoughts on how to craft great plots and build immersive worlds. Today, author and participant Klara Raškaj offers three tips for creating fantastic and tempting worlds:

No matter how many children Hogwarts keeps endangering every year, you’ll still find too many people (myself included) who’d rather pack their bags this very moment, and GTA their way to wizard school (like Harry and Ron in Chamber of Secrets). So, if you’re looking to learn more about world-building, here are my tips for creating fantastic worlds that will tempt your readers to leave their jobs and loving families behind:

1. Offer Bachelor's Degrees in Dragonology.

Everyone’s familiar with the infamous “midichlorians” from Star Wars. Most of us are able to agree that they are the unwanted explanation of the Force. “Don’t try to explain magic with science,” they say. And I agree—if you try to combine the two, a lot of times, you won’t end up pleasing anyone.

However, fans often try to act like scholars when it comes to their favorite stories. They are so fascinated by the worlds writers provide them with, they want to dabble deeper into the rabbit hole and see what makes them tick.

You don’t need science to make your magic credible, nor do you need magic to make your world’s science and laws of nature more mysterious and outlandish. Provide the readers with as much, or as little as you wish, but make sure those elements that differ from our reality actually make logical sense, and have some types of rules they abide by. Limitless possibilities might sound amazing, but they get really dull really fast. Limitations lend themselves to better storytelling, because conflicts and obstacles are what make for interesting stories.

When in doubt, ask yourself: Would you rather read about a guy who could summon anything he wanted to defeat his enemies, or a guy who could only summon self-aware household furniture, and then had to figure out a way to play that to his advantage?

2. Allow readers to join House “Guys-in-Viking-Hats”.

Let’s take A Song of Ice and Fire, for example. It’s nice to imagine living in a medieval-like world with dragons and magic, but belonging to a smaller subgroup of people—or house, in this case—with its own sigil, colors, secrets, and ambitions give the members a sense of purpose. They feel accepted, and part of something greater than themselves. I mean, why do you think it’s so fun to take those “Which Game of Thrones House Are You” quizzes online? It adds more to your identity. You’re not just Bob anymore. You’re Bob of House Guys-in-Viking-Hats!

People have always had the need to be a part of some collective, and pandering to this need is one unusual way you can make your story’s world more inviting to the reader. If you write a world with opportunities to create some sort of labels (positive or neutral labels, mind you), chances are that the readers will want to associate themselves with one of those labels, making them more immersed in and concerned with the story’s world. And what’s a better sign of good world-building than your readers wanting to be a part of that world?

3. Write about the gods among us.

Colossal, extremely powerful, very important, often well-known beings—whether they be adversaries or allies or neither—appeal in fictional stories. “Gods among us” are creatures that make us feel like animals in comparison. Their mere presence makes everything feel much grander and more important than it probably is.

Image a story where two characters are having dinner, and all of a sudden, a couple of random ninjas burst in to trash the place. Intense, right? Now, imagine a story where two characters are having dinner, and all of a sudden, ninjas burst in… led by Grand Duke Evilstache, Randoville’s richest and most handsome (according to People Magazine 2017) leader of organized crime! Whoa! What could possibly be so important that Grand Duke Evilstache himself has come to wreck this little bistro? This is huge!

Having characters do great things and perform unbelievable tasks is what makes a story amazing, but including important, extremely powerful figures is what makes a story epic.

In short, to create the most fanfic-worthy worlds your readers are sure to adore, write down strict rules for the inner-workings of your world, include elements that make us humans feel like ants, and provide the reader with exclusive clubs to fantasize about joining.

I truly hope you’ll find these tips helpful as you venture forth into November! Be bold, be daring, and be shameless! Let’s make this year’s NaNo novels the craziest ones yet!

Klara Raškaj—fantasy author, starsage, breaker of expectations. Her passion is writing epic tales with otherworldly creatures and cultures. But, being a huge fan of H. P. Lovecraft, she never leaves a story unsprinkled with elements of horror and mystery. Off the clock, she indulges in meditation, video games, cartoons, anime, and too many matcha lattes. Her most recent endeavors include working on two serial novels (SPANK and His Whispers), and debuting in her very own podcast.

Top image used licensed under Creative Commons from Olivia Alcock on Flickr.

#nanowrimo #nanowrimo 2017 #nano prep #by oll guest #Klara Raškaj #writing #worldbuilding

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iliyovunjika · 7 years

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Did you lovelies really believe that I, Leo, wouldn’t get all sappy and sentimental on a holiday? C’mon now, I always get all mushy as heck. Plus its just fun to shower you beautiful phenomenons in affection and adoration!! Truly each and every one of you deserve a whole lot of love and I am always so so proud of you guys!

To you, my beautiful and magnificent starlings, I thank you. For your existence, for your warmth, for your kindness, for every little thing you do that makes you happy. I am thankful for you!! You are all such phenomenal creatures, surely created by the brightest of stars upon their explosions into stardust. In every way you are wonderful. From your ups to your downs, you are strong and kind even in the moments where you feel weak. To the new year, for you my lovelies, I wish you nothing but the strongest will and the kindest heart. Unto you I hope for your newest year to be your best year and every year following to be your brightest each time.

You are a divine creature worthy of nothing less than absolution in wonder and hope. I am so very very proud of you for making it this year despite anything that might’ve tried to tear you down.

Now while I usually go on to do a massive blogroll, I unfortunately, cannot do so because Tumblr won’t allow me to mention so many bagels all at once. (Though I’d very much love to do so.) So I’ll be mentioning a few of my beloveds and by no means should you feel left out if you’re not there. Why? Because you should already know that this rabbit loves you to pieces and would gladly gush on you any day!

@transgenderlavi : My husband, my cute snickerdoodle. Through the years you have been my solace and my heart. You are without a doubt the most patient and kind significant other I could ever ask for. Despite all my very obvious flaws you’ve been nothing but brilliant in handling them and for that I am grateful. Without you I would not find myself smiling randomly throughout my 4am shifts as I look at your photo on my phone and wonder what you’re dreaming of. The new year brings yet another 365 days that we’ve been together and I cannot think of anything more I could ask for.

@emvolo : My Kitten, my lovely angel. Truly I cannot believe you even accepted a dork like me. I mean, I asked you out with a poem how could you believe me anything less than an absolute dork. I’m grateful for you. You who understands my momentary disappearances, my silence that is only listening, are my moon. Without you I would find myself lacking in joy because you bring so much of it. From the way you laugh to the way you hide your face when you’re embarrassed is all divine and I can’t help but to find myself smiling at 2am even though I’m tired. This new year will bring more and more moments of joy and love and I’m very very thankful that you’re the cause of it.

@volcrc : Onyx my Goddess!! You sweet and precious angel who so bravely brandishes the threat of Sally alongside me! You are the greatest friend anyone can hope for. You’re brilliant, beautiful, phenomenal, magnificent, and all around amazing. Without you I’m sure I would’ve already gone a wee bit crazy with anger more than a few times. Having you in my life has been an absolute treasure and I would never ask for anyone else to be my winglady in combat, tbh. I’d trust you with my beanbag gun. (That is a serious thing u know.) The new year will surely bring more adventures of booty and arms and wonderful things of goodness~ (As well as, y’know, our beautiful friendship that I’m hella thankful for mate.) You’ll always be my GG, you can’t escape that nickname ever.

@minugahanax : WIFEY!! Seriously what the fuck man, we’ve known each other for so long now?? I can’t believe I was ever intimidated by you and your gorgeous self? Tbh first time I ran across your bagel I was just “Well fuck hello there” but now its just: I SEE YOU THERE, I SEE YOU MY STUNNING LADY OF THE WEE HOURS. ‘Cause, y’know, you arrive when I’m just getting to work and liven up my dash in like .2 seconds so you gotta be the Sun ‘cause damn lady you bring the glorious life to my mornings. Without you I’m pretty sure I would’ve stopped writing a while ago. With all my bagel changes and what not, I expected half my muses to go bye bye or to just stop writing all together at some points but lo’ and behold, YOU’VE INSPIRED ME SEVERAL TIMES TO KEEP WRITING!! I’m very thankful for you~ The new year will definitely bring more muses and beautiful bara tiddies.

@fiercysoul : Roberta, my sweet sweet beaut! Gods, have I told you how absolutely gobsmacked I was to find that you’d been sneakin’ on me while I was sneakin’ on you? That was the funniest thing ever to me ‘cause I was, once upon a time, super dropped by your existence?? Why?? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure, even now, I was starin’ straight up at the vast sky! Seriously, you are an endless commodity of ever changing and multi-faceted magnificence that continuously floors me. You’re such a wonderful and warm person I just can’t imagine myself having ever been intimidated by such a cute smol? You give me such inspiration and wonder every day that I see you on my dash and talk to you. Its a perplexing event that I haven’t collapsed already from the dizzying reality of your blinding existence. This new year will definitely, should definitely, bring us to talk all the more~ And definitely should include wild antelopes and cute smols getting carried.

@haxuss : BATS. Seriously, I think that’s become ingrained as your nickname in my head ‘cause its either “OTTER BABE” or “BATS” as soon as I see you around. What can I say that I haven’t screeched at you already??? I don’t know but I’ll just screech at the top of my lungs anyways because I GOT SOME THINGS TO SAY TO YOU. From your beautiful art to your intricate writing and dedication to your muses, you are PHENOMENAL. The devotion and time you put into everything is absolutely wonderful and I cannot help but to find myself floored by you in general. You’re such a cute person too?? Like damn?? Where have you been all my life?? We should’ve been friends in grade school okay ‘cause I’m p sure we would’ve been raising hell and bringing bats to nap time. You’re an absolute divinity and I am so thankful I met you!!! This new year will definitely be a great one for you ‘cause its gonna be full of wonderful things and happiness.

@ardenssolis : Clears throat. YODELS SHIIIIIII . I always wanna like, scream your name (haha, innuendos) ‘cause it just sounds so nice. OKAY WHAT TO SAY TO YOU. Or scream. I mean that’s kinda the theme here. Rather, what I should say is what am I not gonna say ‘cause boy howdy I’m about to say it all. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL. I’m always so delighted when you’re on my dash and I’m constantly gobsmacked by your writing and your in depth analysis and portrayal of characters??? You drive me nuts ‘cause I wanna just sit on your bagel and go through all your HCs and stuff at random points in time?? JUST LET ME SQUISH YOUR CHEEKS AND LOVE YOU. You’re such a sweet person and you’re a wonderful individual all around that truly brings nothing but warmth and kindness to everyone around you. Lemme love you ‘cause this new year will definitely bring you joy and good juju.

@corazcnazul : WHEEZES. BABE. SUGAR. SWEETS. I weep upon the stars because they have gifted me with such a bright and unstoppable force of pure goodness aka YOU. From the moment I met you, you have been kinder than a kitten and sweeter than unicorn cupcakes. You’re an amazingly talented writer and you’ve got nothing short of a phenomenon of a golden heart. I’m always so happy when we talk and I’m thankful you’re there when I’ve had some pretty rough moments. You’re such a treasure in this world that I cannot imagine it fairing well without you and I’m so proud to have gotten the pleasure to know you. I mean, you’ve seen me go off and ramble for like 20 years and rambled with me, that’s friggin’ friendship at its finest and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. The new year is definitely gonna be full of wonderful things and us definitely gushing more, I’m excited~

@skyvar : Makes incredibly dramatic gestures. YOU. YES YOU, WITH THE CUTE FACE. Seriously I cannot describe how gobsmacked I am by your very existence?? Like how in the fuck did the universe come up with you?? From your incredible art to your amazing portrayals and writing all around, I just can’t believe that such a magnificent creature exists in this world??? Just let me poke at you and plot with you and doodle for you and JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. You’re incredible all around and I’m just, floored that I’ve gotten the gracious chance to know you. This new year will definitely bring make out sessions and long haired boys with aggressive cats. (Yeah that’s right, I SAW DEM TAGS.)

@inastris : I s2g YOU. YOU THERE. I’MMA SMOOCH YOUR LOVELY FACE AND CARRY YOU EVERYWHERE YOU MAGNIFICENT BEING. Flo, you seriously make me so happy and giddy when ever I see you or talk to you. Be it writing or just all around existing, you are without a doubt, flawless. I cannot even begin to portray how wonderful it is that I got the chance to know you and laugh with you. You are a divinity that exists to bring warmth to this world and it would be all the worse for it if you weren’t here. I love your writing, your personality, your devotion to your characters, everything. You’re an amazing individual and this new year will definitely bring you happiness. (Otherwise I’mma get a brick and beat 2k18 down.)

@frystsnow : TEA MY LOVE. Seriously I just. Lemme. SCREECHES AND CLINGS TO YOUR FACE. Weeps why are you so precious and wonderful and lovely and kind and sweet and beautiful and-- Okay I could go on for years like that, lbr, there aren’t enough words in the dictionary at my disposal in all languages to describe how amazing you are and how great it is that I got the pleasure to know you. You are without a doubt, the most bright hearted person and wonderful commodity I’ve ever gotten the absolute pleasure to meet and know. From your writing to your graphics to your personality and your all around in depth care for your muses, you are unmatched. You’re comical and kind but tough as nails and lbr, I’d totally go to bat for you in a heartbeat with a beanbag gun and potatoes to defend your honour. This new year better be bringin’ you all the good stuff or its mcfuckin’ on.

@blackcuttingmoon : EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK GAVE THE UNIVERSE THE RIGHT TO CREATE SUCH A FLAWLESS BEING OF DIVINITY??? I want a fuckin’ refund ‘cause I came here to not be floored and sent spiraling but damn that’s all I get with you~ You are such a hard working and beautiful soul, darling. From the moment I met you, you were so welcoming and kind. You’re always bright and trying your best to get things done even when you’re surely overwhelmed. Our conversations are always fun and inspiring and you as a whole inspire me to do better with my writing. You’re such a wonderful influence and kindness that I just can’t even be bristled up when I’ve had a bad day when you’re around. I am so thankful for you sugar. This year will definitely be easier on you and will be full of absolute joy~ ‘Cause I’mma make sure of it.

@scngre : GRABS YOUR FACE-- Did u think for a second I wouldn’t be addressin’ u sweet stuff? ‘Cause if u did, HAH YOU WERE WRONG MATE. Alright so lemme just lay it out for ya: you are without a doubt, absolutely phenomenal. From your in depth analysis and portrayal of your characters to your startling activity rate that never seems to ever die-- you seriously floor me. I’m always happy as heck when I see you, write with you, talk to you; why? ‘Cause you are a wonderful existence that brings joy with everything you do and I am so thankful for your existence. You always make me laugh or screech at our babies and I’m just all about that good stuff aka you. This new year will be better darling, ‘cause you’re in this year and that in and of itself, makes it magnificent!

Some mentions of A+ starlings ahoy!!

#NY2k18;#I LOVE YOU GUYS #Haha if u thought I wouldn't #u should always know I ALWAYS QUEUE SOMETHIN' UP #Especially if I know I ain't gonna be here to do it like right then~#OOC #L: ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉᶰ ᵏᵉᵉᵖᵉʳ | ˡᵉᵒ ;;#Q|ᵘᵉᵘᵉ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃ ᵠᵘᵃˢᵃʳ | ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʰᵒʷ ᵇʳᶤˡˡᶤᵃᶰᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᶤᶰᵉ ;;

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innerchilddailywrk · 4 years

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25 Signs You Have a Wounded Inner Child

Feeling Safe Inner Child image

Pay close attention to these signs. They will help you learn the general extent to which your inner child has been wounded and the level to which you feel unsafe in this world. The more signs you say “yes” to, the more you need to seriously consider inner child work:

In the deepest part of me, I feel that there’s something wrong with me.

I experience anxiety whenever contemplating doing something new.

I’m a people-pleaser and tend to lack a strong identity.

I’m a rebel. I feel more alive when I’m in conflict with others.

I tend to hoard things and have trouble letting go.

I feel guilty standing up for myself.

I feel inadequate as a man or woman.

I’m driven to always be a super-achiever.

I consider myself a terrible sinner and I’m afraid of going to hell.

I constantly criticize myself for being inadequate.

I’m rigid and perfectionistic.

I have trouble starting or finishing things.

I’m ashamed of expressing strong emotions such as sadness or anger.

I rarely get mad, but when I do, I become rageful.

I have sex when I don’t really want to.

I’m ashamed of my bodily functions.

I spend too much time looking at pornography.

I distrust everyone, including myself.

I am an addict or have been addicted to something.

I avoid conflict at all costs.

I am afraid of people and tend to avoid them.

I feel more responsible for others than for myself.

I never felt close to one or both of my parents.

My deepest fear is being abandoned and I’ll do anything to hold onto a relationship.

I struggle to say “no.”

If you answered yes to ten or more of these statements, working with your inner child should be at the top of your priority list. If you answered yes to five or more of these statements, you should seriously consider reconnecting with your inner child.

How to Support Your Inner Child in Feeling Safe

Inner child healing image

Hold the hand of the child that lives in your soul. For this child, nothing is impossible. – Paulo Coelho

We all have an inner child. When was the last time you spoke or connected with yours? How often do you take the time to tune in and listen to your needs? Do you regularly make space to play and enjoy life?

As human beings, we are not linear or two-dimensional creatures. We are all multi-faceted and have multiple selves. Think about it for a moment: the ‘you’ currently reading this article is very different from the ‘you’ joking around with colleagues, isn’t it? The ‘you’ in the middle of the night is very different from the ‘you’ going to the movies with your partner or friend. The ‘you’ talking to your parents is very different from the ‘you’ talking with your boss.

Your inner child is an essential part of the intricate patchwork that makes up your identity. When you ignore or deny your inner child, he/she is doomed to wither away within the deep dark vaults of your unconscious mind.

Disclaimer: there is so much pain to be faced with inner child work. But there is also so much joy and so much vitality to be experienced. One of the most exciting and miraculous parts of inner child work is that often hidden gifts and aptitudes that we’ve long lost touch with emerge. Not only that, but many of our relationships improve, our addictions/habits lessen or fade away, and our connection with ourselves deepens. Self-love and acceptance are finally possible. I’m not saying you will experience all of these benefits right away, but you will most certainly experience something beneficial so long as you’re committed!

Also, I want to say here that these exercises are not intended to replace therapy, programs or groups for the inner child or child abuse. If you’ve gone through child sexual abuse, severe emotional abuse, or have a mental illness, seeking professional help is essential. This article is only meant to be a supplement. Finally, if you experience strange or overwhelming emotions while practicing the advice below, please stop immediately. Seek the help of a professional counselor before proceeding.

Remember that everything takes time. The practices below are not quick fixes. They’re not sparkly wands that will immediately make everything better. But they will give you the basic tools you need for feeling safe, secure, and protected at a core level. I truly hope you find something below that will nourish you and your relationship with your inner child. And remember, if you need more in-depth help, I recommend finding more inner child healing exercises in our Inner Child Journal.

Here are the summarized points:

Reflect on the timeline of your childhood

Write a letter to your inner child

Write a letter from your inner child

Share your pain with a trusted person

Loving and supportive affirmations

Do an inner child visualization/meditation

Be your own protector and nurturer

I’ll go more in-depth into these points below:

1. Reflect on the timeline of your childhood

You might like to get a piece of paper or document on your computer and divide your childhood into the following stages: Infant Self (0-9 months), Toddler Self (9 months to 3 years), Preschool Self (3-6 years), and School-Aged Self (6 years to puberty).

Within each stage, try your best to recall how you felt, what life was like, and how safe, supported, and accepted you felt. Keep in mind that feeling safe as a child didn’t always have to do with the family environment. Often the school or other environments that we spent a lot of time in shaped our inner child. Record any memories or physical sensations you had, even if they feel fragmented. Record the tones of voice, expressions, and words your parents or teaches used when interacting with you. Even if a memory seems silly or a reaction you remember having seemed excessive, please write it down. As an adult, it’s important to honor what your inner child authentically experienced, even if it seems ridiculous or exaggerated as an adult.

The more information and emotionally-charged material you have for a particular age range, the more you need to focus on connecting with that particular stage. I’ll share with you how below.

2. Write a letter TO your inner child

Imagine that you’re a wise, gentle, and loving wizard or fairy godmother. Imagine that you want to adopt your inner child. As you write the letter, tell your inner child how much you love them and want to spend time with them. Write in a way that makes you feel safe, cared for, and understood. Here’s an example from a letter I have written to my inner child:

Dear Little Ale,

I’m so happy you’re born. I am here to protect, love, and care for you. I want to help you feel loved and accepted for who you are. I want to show you that it’s safe to be heard, to feel, and to be seen. I want you to feel like you will always have a home with me no matter what. I want to help and guide you every step of the way. I love you so much.

Love, Fairy Godmother Aletheia

If you feel emotional during this process, it’s okay. Let yourself cry and be proud of your courage to express how you truly feel.

3. Write a letter FROM your inner child

Using your non-dominant hand (in order to bypass your logical side of the brain), write yourself a letter from the perspective of your inner child. For example, if you are usually right-handed, use your left hand to write. Using your non-dominant hand will help you get more in touch with the feelings of your inner child. Here is my own example of my inner child speaking to me:

Dear Godmother,

I want to find home. Please protect me. I don’t want to feel alone anymore.

Love, Little Ale

You can write back and forth between your Wizard/Fairy Godmother self and your little self. Creating this conversation often reveals a lot of surprising and buried emotions, and new information.

4. Share your pain with a trusted person

It is important that the pain you went through as a child is validated and heard by someone. Whether you seek out a caring friend, support group, or trusted therapist please understand that sharing your feelings is essential to all inner child work. Sure, you can do it alone. And you can do a lot of deep work alone in general. But in order to experience a ‘breakthrough’ or even just to heal deeply, sharing is important. We are social creatures who need others to hold space for us. Your pain needs to be lovingly validated. If the person you’re sharing your inner child work with is questioning, arguing, or trying to give advice to you, you’re not getting what you need!

Here, it is vital for me to emphasize the need to seek real caring and nurturing support. If you don’t have friends who are mature or capable enough of doing this, please consider finding a therapist or spiritual counselor. There are many affordable options out there. Investing in your well-being and mental health IS worth it. There are also many professionals out there who specialize in inner child work or hold workshops. Counselor and self-help writer John Bradshaw writes “I believe that group work is the most powerful form of therapy” when referring to inner child work. But one thing: please don’t share with your family members, even if they are caring. Family members who have not done their own inner child work are much less capable of dealing with yours. Defensiveness, anger, finger-pointing, and grief may result in sharing your feelings with family members, so please don’t do it.

Sharing takes tremendous courage and inner strength. It’s normal and okay to feel scared! Feel the fear, and if you feel ready, share anyway.

5. Loving and supportive affirmations

Loving affirmations are a powerful way to affirm your worthiness and support your journey in feeling safe. When repeated consistently, affirmations have a way of rewiring the brain and sinking down into unconscious layers of programming. Repeating such messages can result in deep change and healing at a primal level.

Here are some loving and supportive affirmations you can say to yourself throughout the day and during meditation:

I will stay here and support you.

Welcome to the world, I’ve been waiting to hold you.

I love you just the way you are.

I’m so glad you’re here.

I want to take care of you.

I want to spend time with you.

I want to hear your thoughts and feelings.

It’s OK to feel sad and scared.

It’s OK to be yourself.

You’re allowed to say no.

You are so special to me.

You have so much to offer the world.

I believe in you.

I will protect you against harm.

You can say these affirmations as many times as you need, whenever is necessary during the day. You might even like to use a special voice when saying these affirmations, such as the voice of a wise old man or a loving mother.

Also feel free to create your own loving affirmations! The list above will help you get started, but often the most powerful affirmations organically arise from your deepest needs.

6. Do an inner child visualization/meditation

You will need to dedicate about half an hour or more to this exercise. Find a quiet and comfortable space, and either sit or lie down.

Imagine that you are about to meet your inner child. You walk outside into your backyard and he/she is playing in a sandbox. What age is he/she? You walk up to your inner child and sit down. “Hello,” you might say, introducing yourself. You look into the eyes of your inner child. What is he/she feeling towards you? Curiosity? Trepidation? Shyness? Skepticism? Excitement? Respect your inner child and his/her boundaries. If he/she wishes to hug you or shake your hand, let that happen. If not, it’s okay. Your inner child may just need to warm up to you. You might next wish to ask, “What do you need the most?” If you are communicating with your infant self during this visualization, the response might come as a visceral feeling as opposed to communicating with your school-aged self who might respond verbally. If your inner child tells you what they need, provide a safe space for them. Let them feel heard, seen, understood, and loved by you. You might like to share with them how much you love and care for them, and wish them to be cared for. If your inner child wishes to be cradled, hugged, or held, embrace the opportunity. Once you feel that your mission to connect with your inner child has been completed, you can visualize yourself walking back into your house. Focus on your breathing, stretch your body, and open your eyes.

I recommend journaling about the experience. Journaling is a wonderful tool for self-reflection, deepening your self-understanding, and also serving as a way to document your progress. So take a few minutes to do it!

7. Be your own protector and nurturer

As adults, it’s important that we take responsibility for our emotional well-being. Feeling safe in this world is extremely important and essential for our inner child to thrive. Signs that you feel unsafe in this world may include:

Constant anxiety around others

Tendency to worry excessively

Inability to trust others

Inability to trust yourself and your abilities

Feeling afraid to do things by yourself

Harsh criticism of yourself

Fear of trying new things or going to new places

Assuming the worst in every situation

If you can relate to the feeling of constantly ‘being on edge’ in the world and around others, I strongly recommend focusing on feeling safe with yourself. Constant self-criticism, ignoring your needs, lacking personal boundaries, always putting others above yourself, and changing yourself to be accepted all keep you in a fearful state of not feeling safe.

While our parents or guardians may not have fulfilled most of our needs (or any of our needs), the beautiful truth is that we can. The concept is strange, even foreign to us, but we can be our own parents!

The benefits of re-parenting yourself?

Greater happiness and optimism

Improved creativity

Healthier mind, body, and soul

Stronger friendships and relationships

Development of essential life skills: acceptance, forgiveness, vulnerability, compassion, self-love

If you find it really hard to re-parent your inner child, seeking help from an inner child work familiarized therapist will be a wise investment. Therapists, after all, act as substitute parents. They can listen to and help coach your inner child, while supporting and strengthening your inner parent.

If you prefer to go solo, that is absolutely possible. However, please do seek out a support network if you can, whether online or in real life.

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ellebeebee · 7 years

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I wanna ask SO MANY of the courting questions... Um, pick any of these that sound fun? 2, 15, 17, 26, 29 for Sabine and/or Xan, and 7, 18, 19 for Xan? (Ack so many I hope that's okay!)

*BUSTS THRU THE WALL LIKE THE KOOL-AID MAN BC I WILL NEVER TIRE OF THAT JOKE*

Hello yes did someone call me to ramble at length abt my OCs bc I sure AS HECK will~!!

So first Sabine, because she is my love and I miss her a bit~

Sabine

2. ♥ When they have a crush on someone, how do they let them know?

She’s very much naturally flirtatious with pretty much everyone, so you may not notice at first when you specifically are the object of her affections. (It also doesn’t help that she has a habit of calling everyone things like ‘darling’ and ‘my sweet’) To cure this, she may take you aside in some group setting and give you a very elegant and well-phrased confession, or she may send you a letter (carried by someone of absolute discretion) that can leave no doubt to her feelings.

15. ♥ Do they enjoy talking to their partners before going to sleep or is it straight to dreamland?

Yes! Sabine loves this. She loves to be close and warm and cozy, talking about simple things from her day or yours. She likes, too, the sweet heartfelt conversations that come about under the cover of blankets and darkness. This is one of her favorite things.

17. ♥ What sort of characteristics or quirks draw them to someone?

She definitely likes extroverted and occasionally outlandish people (no surpise there I mean). She also is much more at ease with people who have casual manners; she can do the etiquette thing but she kind of hates it. While she does like gregarious people, she also has a thing for quiet brood-y types, intellectuals even, because it amuses her to play the foil to them. It amuses her to blur the lines between where play-acting as a silly creature of comfort ends and her real self begins.

26. ♥ What do they love most about their significant other?

8DDD

What Sabine loves about Zarad is the depth of his inner self, which she wonders if even she will ever reach the bottom of, and how much steel his true self is made of. She admires his sense of integrity, his adherence to his own convictions. She admires his sensitivity even when he does his best to hide it behind barbed walls.

And she certainly has begun to admire his taste in women, especially after the MM feast. :>>>

29. ♥ How do they express their love to their partner?

Sabine is very attentive. She likes to make sure of the little domestic things: your favorite food, your clothes in favorite colors, your tea the way you like it, etc etc. She adores gift-giving and does her best to be thoughtful about her gifts. She goes super overboard on gift-giving holidays, and throws the best birthday parties.

She’s also good at dropping subjects or giving you space if you need it. She likes to be close and give tactile comfort frequently.

Xan

17. ♥ What sort of characteristics or quirks draw them to someone?

She definitely likes when people are fun, are witty, have a wicked sense of sarcasm, etc. She also is drawn to people who have some sort of inner strength; a strong will no matter how the person chooses to exercise it.

26. ♥ What do they love most about their significant other?

Xan loves how soft and devoted Asra is. She loves that his feelings run deep, and she is kind of in awe about his sensitivity– she thinks he is much stronger than her in that respect and she hopes she can work to be worthy of it. She loves his sense of humor, and loves the way he takes care of her.

Xan loves that Julian just wears his heart on his sleeve and it makes her want to protect him so badly. She love his goofiness and his penchant for drama, and she loves to tease him. She loves how he can just turn it on and she’ll know that what’s in his eyes is absolutely what he means. She loves that he finds it so easy to fall.

7. ♥ How do they feel about polygamy?

Answered mostly here, but the gist is that (purely by coincidence I swear) Xan came from a polyam family. Her father is deceased, but her two mothers are still alive. I imagine growing up teenage-Xan was determined not to be like her family, and was imagining her future as monogamous. But oh no, here we are with two wonderful specimens of yes please.

I will say that jealousy is incredibly distasteful to her; what goes on in one relationship belongs to that relationship, and shouldn’t have an impact on another if every member of the arrangement is in agreement and knows what they’re getting into. If jealousy does arise, she sees it as someone not having their needs met, and that needs to be discussed.

19. ♥ What was their first impression about their partner/person they are courting?

Hmm. This one’s kind of difficult for Asra, isn’t it? Because we don’t really know what the situation was when they /really/ first met, right? But if it’s taken from the point when the apprentice was coming around from the memory loss, then I imagine Xan wasn’t in any state to make concrete judgments about anything or anyone. But I’m sure those first impressions of Asra’s soothing voice and being held by him left a definite feeling of comfort and security.

Julian– Xan was pissed! She chucked that bottle at him so hard. The second go around tho, after she had cooled down, she would’ve been mostly curious about everything that was going on, and 100% willing to see what sort of person he was. Also, there is zero doubt in my mind that Xan actually took his offer to feel him up, shoved him through the door of the tavern just before things got too hot and heavy, and told him to buy her a drink.

Thank you for letting me talk at length abt my babies ~~

#7kpp #revaire!mc #the arcana #fan apprentice #ask meme #my writing #sabine #xanthioppe

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