#but just in case (and also so I can share a funny) etymology is the study of the history of words

[naturally-naive]

As others have said, they mean it's raining a lot, a proper downpour, and that I love and cherish you respectively. However! Etymology is fun to poke at sometimes. Let's do the teensiest tiniest bit of word history research.

According to Wikipedia, "apple of my eye" is pretty simple, it's short for aperture, AKA pupil. In Shakespeare's "Midsummer's Night's Dream", a guy gets a love potion used on him when another guy puts flower juice in his pupil (the apple of his eye) so that's probably where the "I love you" meaning came from.

"Raining cats and dogs" is a little harder, there wasn't a single big piece of literature to influence language like Shakespeare's stuff, so we can only really guess at what happened. Maybe it's because that much rain is dangerous to small animals. Maybe it's something to do with the Greek or French words for "Waterfall". Maybe it's something to do with the Greek words for "contrary to popular belief". We aren't sure. Sorry I can't get a definite answer, more than 5 minutes of looking at Wikipedia is needed to unlock this mystery lol

As to why people don't just say what they mean? Well, why have people recently started saying "GRR BARK BARK GRRRR GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE" instead of "Wow! This art is really cool and made me feel strong emotions, thank you for sharing!"? It's a meme, it's an idiom. It's common enough (for the meme example only in certain circles lol) that you can reasonably expect the other person to get the message, and speaking in metaphors and similes can be fun.

Of course, if the message of "I don't mean this literally, I'm just using a common metaphor for fun" doesn't make it across, or if you just get tired of it, then it can get frustrating yeah.

TL;DR: there's some history behind it, tho it's confusing. They're just metaphors/phrases that caught on. Ya it can be annoying sometimes.

Hope this helps a little, thanks for reading!

What the FUCK! Does it mean when someone says it's raining CATS and DOGS! no it ISN'T why are you SAYING THAT. You're the apple of my eye? WHAT DO YOU MEAN. TELL ME. SPEAK NORMAL!!!!!!!

[darkfictionjude]

Etymology nonnie here!

I didn't think you were being rude or anything in your answer. And I understand where you are coming from. I think it's a very interesting thing about IFs that MC's name is not as relevant to their character, from a writer's perspective, as it would be in a traditional novel. I have seem some IF authors who think about their MCs as $MCname or whatever code equivalent they use.

And about Arlo and it's associations to Orla's name:

1) I understand it would put a tension between Lorcan and MC's romance. However, this was intentional (it's so angsty). As it demands Lorcan learning to see MC as MC, even with all the similarities and ties to Orla. If anything, I would say the names being similar/related and an MC being female have around the same type of similarity to Orla that would demand Lorcan to really process and surpass it if he romances any MC.

2) In all honesty, I don't think Lorcan would notice the anagram. At least, not until it's pointed out to him. Or he has an horrifying realization once he is already romancing MC. Maybe it comes in a discussion about names, as those can happen randomly even with people who care little about them. Or just it simply clicks one day while they are cuddling or something.

The funny thing, I'll argue, is that the more I think about it, the more I like Arlo. Especially because the issues can be circunvented by the use of a nickname, like Lo (the one I would put in character creation) and Crowny (the one Lorcan uses).

Also, the fact you gave me reasons to not use it, which are valid and reasonable, made me want to use it more. Is perhaps too spiteful? Yeah, although I would stay say it's a very light hearted spite, if it can be thought as the correct term.

I think the only real qualm left I have against Arlo is that, unlike Indiana and Robin, I don't have cute tie to Lorcan. Indiana is like Imre's hero, so it's a cute coincidence. And Robin is a beautiful bird, and ties Nia's tastes with MC in a wholesome way. But Arlo has no connection to Lorcan, so far. My solution for this issue (as you see, I'm a dramatic person who considers this serious enough to be an issue) was the nickname Lo. Because I like alliteration. Yet, as cute as alliteration may be, it doesn't have a more intimate, or at least personal, connection with Lorcan.

But that's for me to figure out. I have bothered you enough with this problem.

I have a completely unrelated thought, at least for the name issue. Yet, it came from the names I had considered. You see, I don't recall if I ever identified myself as the nonnie who headcanon MC having a beautiful singing voice. Now I'm doing it. The thing is, following from my MC named Robin, I realized the connection with music could be strengthened. But also, I had other reasons to do so:

1) It serves as a good contrast to the dead eyes. Maybe, the eyes are dead because all their lively beauty went to MC's voice. Yet, unfortunately, because MC never had any personal ambitions, they never took singing seriously. And at most, they did this uncomfortable singing of Flying to the Moon, which never truly showed their talent. In part, I imagine, this is the case because I cannot conceive MC singing this properly. But rather, in a whispering nervous voice. Just because you have a beautiful singing voice it doesn't mean you'll always sing well.

2) Thematically it seems interesting to me. Is very easy to tie singing with freedom and self expression. So, the more of a person MC becomes, the more their singing voice can be shared. And, since MC is often seen with disdain by others, I just can imagine their voice being beautiful. As the beautiful realization of their soul that was always underneath, yet never allowed to bloom.

Of course, everyone is allowed to disagree with me. I'm under the impression you don't have a strong opinion on the matter. Probably due to the nature of MC as an IF protagonist, where a lot about them is left not to you the author, but to the reader. All MC's are different, after all.

So maybe my headcanon is only true to some. Or, pitifully, just to my own MC's, and no one else's. And there something beautiful about that idea, yet I'm unable to put it into words.

Ah thank you for not thinking I answered you rudely because as you point out MC’s first name is not my domain, it’s not up to me so I don’t put much importance in it because it’s one of the only elements I can’t control

Hahaha you want to use Arlo because I said it would be a bad idea? 😭😭😭 that’s very funny you’re picking up some rebellious cues from Percy. You’re right that Lorcan wouldn’t get it right away, he would sense something familiar about it but not see it soon

Yeah when mc is doing that habit of theirs it isn’t loud, it’s merely a whisper, barley audible so I wouldn’t consider it singing as much as slightly raising their voice. Their singing voice being connected to their own view of themself is an interesting idea, you need a certain sort of confidence and strength to sing that loud which mc has never had the chance too

[scary-senpai]

It's good to see this come up in the manga, because this is something I'd been wondering about/concerned about since I dipped my toes into the OPM-verse: what it means to be a monster, both figuratively and literally. (Well, I guess "good" is the wrong word, but you get what I mean).

I wrote this on my main blog awhile ago (OG post is here), but I think the point still stands, so I'll say it again:

Monster has a funny etymology — it’s an antiquated term for all the things we didn’t understand once upon a time, because we didn’t know any better.

Those bones belong to a dinosaur, not a dragon — and that terrifying, strange and mysterious creature has always been the same animal — even if we called it something else for centuries, that doesn’t alter its core components. But the words we choose influence the sentiment surrounding a thing and that’s why some people see a monster where others just see a Precious Wolf Boy.

The stories we tell take on a life of their own — growing into myth and lore; misunderstandings that we can feed or even dispel, if we’re so inclined to enlighten others. This is why, as an avid reader, nomenclature — an artist’s rationale for picking one descriptor over another — has always fascinated me. And also I worked in a linguistics lab for awhile, that ruined me for anything else.

Today, the word “monster” survives mainly as metaphor or hyperbole. Going back to my earlier example — if I refer to a dinosaur as a “monster,” you might take umbrage with the accuracy of my terminology but you’d understand the subtext behind why I chose it & the emotions I intended to evoke.

Nowadays, people would more readily apply the word monster to other humans — humans that kill indiscriminately and strip away the rights of others — than any unexplained phenomena in the natural world. Essentially, what's happening to Psykos here (and possibly Garou in the future, and definitely Amai Mask in the WC).

The point that ONE/Murata make is a worthwhile one: if you support the right to something, then you have to support those rights for everyone--even people you don't like. Once you draw a line in the sand, it won't stay put.

“no rights/no assets because monster!” is literally something out of the propaganda books (and unfortunately from not-so-recent history).

Anyway, I think it’s interesting that ONE specifically mentioned rights and asset forfeiture. I can’t speak for the author, of course, but it’s an unusual (and very specific!) aspect of world building. It’s a heavy thing to touch and never revisit again.

Given that OPM is fundamentally about subverting tropes, I always read the monsters as neutral beings — and I will point out that ONE goes so far as to frame them as a public health issue (because anger / dissatisfaction cause people to transform) or environmental (pollution causes the water/earth/animals to transform). And fighting monsters inadvertently causes them to evolve and become stronger — which seems like a case against fighting them, and a good reason to focus on the root cause.

This post peripherally inspired by: an episode of throughline where one of the guests more or less said: “we get all high and mighty about the concept of ‘humanity’ and 'human nature’ but in reality no other living creatures are as cruel as humans. you don’t see penguins rounding up and torturing other penguins.”

Anyway just putting that out there as a thought, and also sharing the whimsical imagery of penguin strife. Here's the OG episode; this is one of my favorite podcasts: https://www.npr.org/2021/03/15/977526130/chaos

[cosmos-oc-soup]

hep name etymology

will be making separate posts anytime i have names to share! for here, i'll be sharing the reasoning behind hep's group name as well as my sillies!

Hep à la Mode was a name made with the help of my younger sister (she's a little stinker, but i love her) and i know it's my own oc group, but i rlly like the name! (⁀ᗢ⁀) the word 'hep' is a informal, dated term for 'hip', which in this case means "following the latest trends". meanwhile 'à la mode' is a similar term. the combination of words is rlly fun because it's using a dated term with a term still used today and both mean 'up to date', which fit hep's concept as a little stylish jazz group! (btw, when i was mentioning all this to her, she just said that she thought the name sounded nice and went with that without really thinking more LMFAO- she's a creative genius in the silliest ways)

OKAY, SO I WILL SAY, I KINDA MESSED UP WITH CHOOSING NAMES IN HEP'S NAME THEME SRGDGHNDBG- in sekai, it's usually have a name theme in each group (vbs = seasons, mmj = flowers, etc), BUT i entirely forgot abt that specifically being the last names and instead made the theming in their first names- ( ╥ω╥ ) but whatever, i like their names too much to change them and it's been half a year now so too late LOL RIP- (it doesn't rlly matter if it's first or last, but i was just. man) for hep, i wanted their name theme to be 'weather', so i have chosen names that mean sun, cloud, snow, and rain respectively! i like to think of it as "enjoying jazz music and coffee regardless of the weather" hehe ( ´ ꒳ ` )

> amano taiyo

甘野 - amano

甘 means sweet, sugary, gentle, lenient

野 means field, plain, wilderness

大陽 - taiyo

大 means big, large, great

陽 means sun, sunlight, positive, daytime

> fukuhara hibari

譜久原 - fukuhara

譜 means score, musical notation

久 means long time, old, long-cherished

原 means origin, source, foundation

雲雀 - hibari

雲 means cloud

雀 means small bird

> endou miyuki

遠藤 - endou

遠 means far, distant

藤 means wisteria

妙雪 - miyuki

妙 means wonderful, strange, mysterious

雪 means snow

> yoshida amataka

芳田 - yoshida

芳 means fragrant, aromatic

田 means rice field, rice paddy

雨空 - amataka

雨 means rain, precipitation

空 means sky, emptiness

fun side things:

i got curious to know if any of my ocs were the names of people irl cause full names and uh. one of them is an actual person, but i should sue them for copyright /J

was actually debating if i wanted taiyo & hibari to swap as sun & cloud BUT a positive person being named after the sun felt too obvious and it's more fun to think of hibari as "having her head in the clouds"

according to the japanese name site i was using, miyuki's name has 149 variations (in kanji & meaning) while amataka has 1 (for anyone curious, taiyo has 31 and hibari has 6. i just think it's rlly funny seeing the jump between 1 to 149)

miyuki's last name meaning was a total coincidence to her character cause my sister was the one who chose it from the list of last names i sent her but it does work LOL

'taiyo' is actually one of the three english inscriptions, and is actually meant to be spelt as 'taiyou' but i completely forgot the 'u', so it's kinda similar to toya where ppl spell it as 'toya' or 'touya’

that being said, ‘endou’ can also be spelt without the ‘u’, but it felt kinda. empty without it so i spell it with LOL

[rosenecklaces]

Azriel/Azariah and Elain/Elaine/Eliana/Elainna and Helen 》Names mini- analysis p.t 2

Keeping up with our flower girl, I found this Elain/Elaine number reading and hhmmmmm...

I doubt SJM read Elain's name number personality studies but, wow just... wow (the destiny number better becomes a prophecy of her future i would love to see it)

I forgot to add this little trivia since is small but Elain etymology is olive oil/ from the olive three and I don't know,just wanted to put it here because is curious to me

Eliana/Elainna

With Eliana and Elainna I was so pleased to read about it, especially because I found a lot that my brain couldn't help to connect with elriel

First thing first, I'm going to focus in her meaning "Mercy" and "Daughter of the Sun/Bright star", this two last obviously connect with Elain and Elaine carrying Light and Sun to them.

Mercy, to me, obviusly relates to what is it said about Elaine being fair and just, sounds familiar? Our girl Elain, as much as Azriel is connected as a Support and Helping Hand, is representative of Fairness (the middle ground, if you will) and The Justice, which brings me the scene of she killing the king of Hybern to save her sister and cassian + how she's the middle sister and bridge between feyre to nesta

Now let's get into the Elriel:

God answered/Lord answered me and God is my help/Helped by God

This theme was discussed before but oh god, it still hits me like a train going full force on me what in the hell

I can say so much of this but my mind isn't functional enough to get all the layers out so I'm just going to say: "you came for me", "do you want me to show you the garden?", elain touching his hand calling them beautiful, feyre praying and be answered with elain appearing trought a shadow, "the cauldron make you a seer", then elain wakes up from the mulky realm she was in, etc etc etc...

Elain variants being the Light and Sun, Bright and Beatiful? Azriel the literal Angel of Death? Helped by some God? He who became a shadowsinger in the dark?

Elainna "The light that the darkness gives off" are you fucking kidding me right now??

"Light and Dark" "The bridge of connection, that knife" the whole TT scene.... SJM I have no faith in you searching about stuff like this but.. did you- did you just-

And I wanted to include another detail that I swear, had me chuckling cause:

This is the same damn picture...

This is the same damn picture. what

(also this appeared not once but twice in two different pages, both share this same four points in both places. I even confirmed with another name and is not the same as this one's so...yeah, what in the Cassian is this? I have no idea but is funny)

I'm very intrigued of this yellow to gold combo, which means nothing but makes me think of strings...mate bond...anyway-

I also want to include this little trivia about Cerridwen:

Cerridwen is a literal translation to Cauldron keeper and it's says is related to imagination, fairness and poetry. Is also related to the name Selene, goddess of the Moon

This would mean nothing but, I found it interesting too in case someone wanted to see this.

Well this is the end of my post, just wanted to add this little details and meaning/symbolism my curiosity took me and again, of someone haves something to add or a theory to form with any of this don't be shy! I more than welcome some extra analysis for this, be serious or just for fun 💐

Azriel/Azariah and Elain/Elaine/Eliana/Elainna and Helen 》Names mini- analysis p.t 1

For starters, this is a post made by pure driven curiosity I fell on while searching a little about elain and azriel names. Let's call it a deep dive into what can be found when you search for their names and me having fun with what I got from it, hopefully you guys have some fun reading about it too

Azriel

With Azriel's, his origin came foremost in Hebrew, Islam and Christianity. Countries of first use especulated to be Arab, Indonesian and French, with deeply roots in Muslim and Judaism (our brown king <3)

Principal meaning: God is my help/ Helped by god (this I'm going to relate with elain's ones later)

This isn't a serious rant so I'm gonna say it, his name colour being blue is so cute. Is very fitting for him to be called a helping hand from a higher being and also the Angel of Death that again, is helping, this time to the deceased (makes me think of his spying work and how he literally moves trought the shadows assisting). Kind of heroic with a melancholic twist, just like him to be fair

Also the analysis of the personality type? Hardworking, Sensitive, Perfectionist, Persuasive, Stubborn and Humble? wow Azriel your such a typical clique Azriel

Ok this one is interesting, those are meanings posted by users and in contrast with the servicial and holy symbolism of the first ones, there's something so soft on azriel being "Lovely Token" and "Love doesn't come fully formed, it is a seed that grows?" (godammit whoever wrote that would do numbers here writing for elriels damn)

Now passing to his name original source:

Azariah

With Azariah we have a little of information that, as similar it is to Azriel, I find endearing how is connected to "Help, Gratitude and Support" that we can find in his character, while keeping this air of rightfulness and holy weight with it being this angel that offer his hand in service.

Also his personality reading keeps being kind of on point in the first lines too lol (pay attention to his lucky colour, ruling planet and number everyone, it would be mentioned later).

Elain

Oh, with Elain I got a lot more and probably would need a second part but lets start with this:

Elain main meaning is: Light, Fawn and Baby Deer (some variations of sun and little animal can be found too, since her name is anagram of Aelin)

It cames from names like Elaine, Eleanor, Eliana and Elyana, which are all coming from Helen. With Welsh, Scottish, French and Greek history (this last because of Helen, one of Zeus daughters)

Elain, as a name, is quite difficult to pint point. Mainly because... isn't actually a name?... Atleast is not formed on it's own, aparentally it haves many origins and doesn't have use outside of the many more that are known and with historic roots (crazy but is true you can confirm)

Elaine

This name would be the third variant of where Elain comes from, first is Helen and we can say second is Elainna/Eliana

Elaine actually cames from the Arthurian leyend as Sir Lancelot lover, but it also represents Elain's meanings like Light and Sun, though it also have some connections to Beauty

In a more unserious note, let's admire how cute it is her name color being pink. Her letter analysis? She to a T, also the detail of Elaine in the Arthurian leyend be called Lovable and "The fair" (to me, that's poetry)

///

Now, since Elain haves more screenshots to show and I want to include some elriel crumbs + Cerridwen meaning, I would leave this as the part one and reblog it with part two. So anyone who wants to add something to this part alone is more than welcome 💕

[narastories]

musings about fallen angels aka some more denarian brainrot from yours truly

I really like mythology. I’m also very lucky in that I can also enjoy Judeo-Christian mythology alongside with all the others (which many people can’t for understandable reasons).

So I just wanted to share/record that I had this headcanon for a while that the Denarians could be a faction of the Watchers who survived in these coins. I mean the Dresden Files obviously draws from a lot of different sources from mythology, with some really nice spins on it. (Especially love the detailed vampire lore btw, that’s such a nice touch.) The Denarians always struck me as so unique compared to what you usually see in fantasy featuring fallen angels. And when I started considering it, I think the closest you can find in existing text are the Watchers from the Book of Enoch. And it’s said that they were 200, however, we only have the names of a handful, which obviously leaves a lot of room for artistic freedom. So technically it wouldn’t contradict anything if you said our DF 30 were a part of that 200... And there is that nice, apocalyptic vibe running through the text which suits Nic’s lot perfectly lol

Idk I just think it would make for a fascinating, character-study-style fanfic if anyone would ever want to explore that... (This is why I sometimes joke that I want to get hold of one of Nic’s goons - preferably before the tongue removal - and just pry the information out of them about what stories they are fed bc I just need to know.)

There actually are artists who got inspired by this topic which leads me to the first link I wanted to include in this post. So the leader of the Watchers happens to be named as Samyaza, which means it’s not Anduriel lmao But I still think it makes sense to draw some parallel there. There is this really cool artist who does digital paintings on angels, and because I’m a nerd I actually have his book of Watchers - a beautifully illustrated coffee table type of book. And I was looking at his depiction of Samyaza and noticed that it includes a lion. Which I thought was super interesting. Maybe it’s a reference to the same verse as Nicodemus’s last name, but it’s a weird correlation. Also there are these little write-ups to go with the art and this one says (and I hope I don’t get in trouble copying two sentences from the website lmao go click the link please): “As they sang, a single mote of something, of nothing, passed through the Angel’s light and cast a speck of a shadow down upon the earth. Beneath the stars, that shadow looked back at the heavens and saw himself for the first time.“ Which to me just screams yep shadow - Anduriel and it makes me weirdly happy lol

The other link I wanted to chuck in here is a forum thread I found and referenced a while back about the Etymology of Angel Names in the Dresden Files. It’s not a lot of info, but people collected them and the lore references and it’s a nice reference sheet, in case idk someone needs it for fanfic or something.

Last, but not least, this entire ramble was inspired by @blaufeder who gifted me a fanfic today *-* Go read it, folks, it’s hysterically funny! So yeah Anduriel’s “Enochian chirping noises” made me type this post up. xx

[boxedblondes]

killing eve fic recs

since we’re all yearning HARD after the s3 finale, i thought i’d share some of my personal favorite ke fics (in alphabetical order by author) to maybe, possibly, help fill the void until season 4!

we tried the world; good god, it wasn’t for us by agentpolastri (@topeve)

rating: G

warnings: major character death

summary: They jumped together. When do they not?

↳ i never ever ever read fics with a major character death warning, but mei is just such a fantastic writer i had to give it a try. this fic is SO exquisitely beautiful and heartbreaking. i’ve read it several times and it never fails to punch me square in the chest. i don’t have enough words to express how much i love this piece.

i don’t have a choice (but i’d still choose you) by agentpolastri (@topeve)

rating: T

warnings: major character death

summary: It’s the ending they didn’t want, but knew was coming anyways.

↳ well....... she did it to me again. idk what else to say about this except the line “she feels like a sunset.” makes me craaaaaazy

(if you need something a little happier after these fics, i could be your excuse for a lover is also wonderful)

this is what you wanted by dollsome (@dollsome-does-tumblr)

rating: T

warnings: none

summary: Villanelle goes to Alaska. Set after the season two finale.

↳ essentially v goes to alaska and absolutely hates it. a creative, funny, and lighthearted take on what could have happened post-s2.

you know i'm such a fool for you by dollsome (@dollsome-does-tumblr​)

rating: T

warnings: none

summary: Eve waits. Villanelle hallucinates. Set after 2x02.

↳ this was one of the first KE fics i ever read, so it holds a special little place in my heart. short, sweet, and very, very gentle.

Tell Me by dollsome (@dollsome-does-tumblr)

rating: T

warnings: none

summary: Eve and Villanelle catch up on what they've missed. Set right after 3.08.

↳ essentially, the girls FINALLY have a conversation about everything they haven’t talked about. a soft, cathartic little fic to fill the post-finale hole in all of our hearts.

touch and go by etymology

rating: not rated

warnings: none

summary: “Why are you in my hotel room at 3 a.m.,” says Eve. “I could not sleep,” says Villanelle, shrugging. Eve narrows her eyes. “Are you kidding me.”(Or, the one where Eve keeps hiding Villanelle from the authorities.)

↳ also one of the first KE fics i ever read. this one is short, soft, and gets their dynamic just perfect.

there are no rules when you show up here by glitteration

rating: E

warnings: sex stuff, dubious consent (kind of), ambiguously violent ending

summary: this is why we can't have nice things, darling. (eve goes ahead and hops out of the frying pan only to launch herself straight into the fire. post-s1 fic, told entirely through phone calls. working title in my gdocs was "the one with all the problematic phone sex")

↳ there is a lot of phone sex in this which, although problematic, is also very hot. the characterization in this fic is so on-point, and the dialogue is both funny and believable – which is often a delicate balance.

your body hurts me as the world hurts god by GucciAspirin

rating: M

warnings: sex stuff

summary: "I think of you when I look at the sky. I think about how we share it with so many other people - when it was clearly meant for just the two of us." // Villanelle wants closure

↳ another entry into the collection of lovely, sexy villaneve fics. this one also deals with the aftermath of the s1 finale.

tie me to your longing, I'll tie you down to mine by nextgreatadventure (@next-great-adventure)

rating: M

warnings: sex stuff

summary: These are all things Villanelle remembers. She doesn’t know if any of it meant love, but surely it meant something. It was not nothing.

↳ my comment on ao3 for this fic is: “I’m officially quitting my fic writing career because this is THE best villaneve fic out there, goodbye. :’)” and i think that’s all i need to say.

this dark world is precious to me by nextgreatadventure (@next-great-adventure)

rating: M 

warnings: sex stuff

summary: Eve dreams of so many things after Rome.

↳ this is the kind of fic that leaves you wanting more once you’ve finished reading it. it is sexy and complex and extremely well-written. i’ve reread it so many times in the past year and it’s just as good every time. 

If at last we be true by pengukat

rating: E

warnings: sex stuff

summary: My contribution to the "Eve doesn't stab Villanelle, they bone instead" repertory of works.

↳ i am.... suddenly realizing how many of the fics on this list are explicit. anyway, this one is perhaps the best sexytime villaneve fic of them all.

two wills (one mirror holding us dearer now) by poiesis (@weirddyke)

rating: E

warnings: sex stuff

summary: "I don’t want to be around you. / I don’t want to drink you in. / I want to walk into the heart of you / And never walk back out." Nico Alvarado, 'Tim Riggins Speaks of Waterfalls' – post-series, eve waits for the inevitable

↳ idk what to say about this. sometime after the s1 finale, v breaks into eve’s house (again) and they finally give into their mutual sexual attraction. it’s both hot and incredibly well-written – aka the best kind of fic.

of villages, and other places that villanelle would like to burn to the ground by silent_h (@yesokayiknow)

rating: T

warnings: canon-typical violence/death, animal death summary: canon divergence au, of course (but maybe not in the place that you were expecting)

↳ after the s1 finale, eve and v go on the run and “accidentally” take irina along for the ride. this fic is written in second person pov, and the stream-of-consciousness style is just gorgeous.

feedback loop by silent_h (@yesokayiknow​)

rating: T

warnings: none

summary: (season 2 episode 2 spoilers) the person you have called is not available. please try again.

↳ a lovely, dreamy look into eve’s mental state after 2x02. second person pov again!!!!

One Hundred Minutes of Normality by variousflumps

rating: M

warnings: none

summary: In which Eve and Oksana watch a movie. Finding Nemo, to be precise. "For the next" – Eve checks the back of the DVD case – "one hundred minutes you and I are going to pretend that the following things are true. One, neither of us is a psychopath. Two, we both strongly disapprove of murder. Three, I never stabbed you, four, you're not even thinking about stabbing me back, and five, we're dating and have a perfectly normal, healthy relationship. I need one hundred minutes of normality or my entire head is going to explode. Do you want popcorn?"

↳ THEY FINALLY WATCH A MOVIE!! (but they mostly ignore it in favor of having the world’s most chaotic get-to-know-you conversation.) funny, sexy, and incredibly full of life.

and of course! what’s a reclist without some self-promo. my own KE fics can be found right here. comments and feedback are ofc always appreciated ♥️

[clairecrive]

“Great expectations”- modern!Alfie Solomons x reader imagine

The lovely @kingarthurscat​ requested this imagine with the prompt “ you better have a very good reason for waking me up at four in the morning.” with Alfie. Thanks again for the request honey, I had a lot of fun writing this! Hope you like it! 

I haven’t proofread it so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes. Oh and btw, everything mentioned is true. 

As always, feedback and requests are always appreciated!

Tag list: @mollybegger-blog​ (let me know if you wanna be added)

“No way!” you whispered excitedly at what you had discovered.

It never occurred to you that you can literally find anything on the internet. And by anything you mean, the endless content about your latest obsession, whatever it was. You had always been passionate about literature and learned as much as you could about the little things of authors’ lives.

You couldn’t put into words the joy and the bliss you felt whenever you learned something, completely useless academically, but that gave you a better insight about the author personality all the same. For example, lately, you had discovered that Lord Byron vaccinated his children against cowpox or that he named his dog smut which you found incredibly funny seeing that nowadays the word is used to describe scenes of sexual natures, which surprisingly fits perfectly with Byron’s lifestyle. Or that one time Shelly wrote a letter to Keats worried about Byron’s mysterious disappearance and then wrote a follow-up letter in which he explained that the Lord had almost died of dehydration and malnutrition because he was too engaged in other activities, if you what I mean. Keat’s answer was the best thing though, he basically told Shelly that he should have left him there. The three most famous poets argued like petty girls in high school and you loved it!

Not to mention all the stuff you learned about Greek Mythology and Etymology which were somehow deeply related.

However, what sent you into pure bliss as of right now was the sudden realisation that no one really knew about author’s voices, which sounds like an obvious thing but somehow that never occurred to you. No one knew about Byron’s or Keat’s or even Plato’s voices. What if they had a funny voice? Or like a lift or something? Wouldn’t be absolutely ironic if someone like Plato who is so snob and racist have a shrill, high-pitched voice? That would be karma’s doing but much to your dismay there was absolutely no way to know. Imagine how upsetting it would be to find out that someone like Lord Byron whose name alone is enough to send you shivers and was able to be a token of his status, who you had always thought to have a very deep, husky voice that it must have been one of the reasons why people of both sexes found him so irresistible had instead a strident or thin voice? That would be mindblowing. As it was the fact that if Oscar Wilde had lived just a little longer maybe we would have registrations of his voice. How cool would that be?

This were the little things you lived for. It’s unusual, you’re aware of that. For that reason, you had always been very careful in sharing this interest with the people in your life. Some of them shared the same excitement, to your surprise; others didn’t really care for it but usually smiled politely just not to upset you. You’d always understand when someone was on your same wavelength but were grateful nonetheless that you were lucky enough to have supportive people in your life that even if they found you weird were kind enough not to tell you.

When you first started dating Alfie, you never really let him on this unusual hobby you had. Sure, he knew about your love for literature and reading but that was it. It was only after the first month that you had gradually initiated him to it to see what his reaction was. At first, you justified your discoveries by saying that your teacher had said them or that you had read them in the book you were studying, which sometimes was the truth. Letting him know that that was exactly what you spent your free time doing and sometimes even the time you should be sleeping or studying was a whole other thing.

Over the dates you had been to, you had found out that Alfie was quite the intellectual. Despite his rough exterior he had read his fair share of books and was very passionate about literature. That was one of the things that had attracted you to him, to be honest. Your head was saying that you should go ahead and share this new piece of information you had found casually, without making it too much of a thing. If he wasn’t as excited by it as you were then in the worst-case scenario you wouldn’t share those kinds of things with him anymore and in the best case, he’d enjoy hearing it just because he loved you and he would appreciate every little thing you shared with him. Just like you’d listen to him complain about work problems or over the difference between rum and bread which apparently wasn’t discussed.

So tonight, you let your enthusiasm carry you away and called him to share the realisation that had hit you. Currently, Alfie was in the USA for business reasons. Something about making a deal with a potential partner which would allow him to expand his rum overseas. However, that didn’t register to you until you were met with his sleepy grunt and the blackness of his room.

“Y/N?” his raspy voice was the only thing you could hear along the sounds of him shifting in the sheets. When he called you last time he had told you that he would leave his phone on so that whatever happened you could call him. He wasn’t expecting you to actually do it though.

“Oh shoot. I forgot about the time difference Alfie, I’m sorry. Go back to sleep, this can wait until later.” you quickly apologised

“What is it?” he ignored you and moved around so that he could turn on the light on his bedside table.

“It’s really nothing babe, I’m sorry. I got carried away from the excitement and forgot you were in the States.”

“Well now I’m up, ain’t I? So you better have a very good reason for waking me up at four in the morning,” he said rubbing the sleep from his eyes finally letting you see his face. Gosh, how could he be so handsome when he literally just woke up? You really were lucky.

“So, I was wasting my time on the internet like I usually do until I came across a post that left me shook.” you started explaining

“So far this doesn’t seem like a good reason to wake me, love,” he muttered but you could see it from his eyes that he didn’t really mean it. To be fair, only the fact that he didn’t tell you to go to hell and actually was ready to hear you out got him the “best boyfriend of the year” award.

“It wasn’t a normal post, Alfie. Hear me out. Have you ever thought about how we have never listened to the voice of the most famous poets of all times?” Now it was out and it was time to study his reaction.

“That- well I’ve never thought about it pet. That’s weird, innit?” The gods were smiling upon you and had graced you with the most fantastic human being in the whole world. He had actually stopped to think about it before answering you and had a face of utter surprise just like you had when you first read the post.

“You know what’s even more mind-blowing? The fact that if Oscar Wilde had lived a little longer we would have known his voice? Now how cool would it have been?!” By now you weren't sure anymore if your enthusiasm was for the fact itself or for how much you loved and appreciated the man laying on a bed on the other side of the planet.

“Fuck, that really would have been cool. Is it because he died in the 1900s?” he asked engaged with the conversation just as much as you were.

“Yes! I did a little research, right? And I found out that first gramophones were being patented in that time. So ten years or so later and now we would have known his voice. What an unfortunate series of coincidences.” you shared his feelings and what you learned with him.

“What?” you asked when you noticed that he was staring intently at you without saying anything. He had a little smile on his face and the intensity of his gaze was actually starting to make you feel self-conscious.

“You really are a geek, aren’t you love?” he asked and it was one of those rare times where the word was told with affection and not with scorn.

“I guess so.” you timidly admit. Love wasn’t the only thing you could see in his eyes, there was also a lot of tiredness.

“I love you, Alfie, thank you for listening to me even if I interrupted your beauty sleep.”

“Don’t even say it, love, you can always count on me. Even if it’s to share something like that at four in the morning.” he snickered lightly but behind his words was the unspoken promise that whatever it was you could share everything with him and that almost made you cry of happiness.

“Well, I promise I won’t do it again. I mean the four am part. Go to sleep baby, I’ll see you tomorrow right?” you softly said.

“You will pet. Goodnight, well I guess it’s a good morning now. I love you.” his sweet words were the last one you exchanged before hanging up.

Well, that had gone way better than your greatest expectations.

[alexwinfield-blog1]

There’s a ‘Price’ to pay for meme trolling.

There is no doubt that the social media world are lovers for a good ol’ meme. Need a conversation starter? A witty reply? Or cheering up on a gloomy day? A meme will guarantee you a laugh. However, what constitutes a well-curated, humorous meme? Well, as we all know, humour is subjective. What you and I find funny will differ, of course. But what criteria needs to be met in order for a meme to go viral? What do the creators of memes set out to achieve when sharing them online? Most importantly, is there a line to be crossed? At what point can we agree that a meme no longer has a shared meaning?

I want to look closely at the memes created online targeting Harvey Price, but firstly, let’s get to grips with what we mean by a ‘meme’. Dawkins (2006) describes the practice of ‘memeing’ to involve “participating in the creation or distribution of a powerful, original idea”. He also proposes that a meme is a “unit of cultural transmission”, an idea or collective conscience that a community share. We share this culture like we share genetic characteristics. Like “biological organisms evolve based on the natural selection of genes, cultures evolve based on the natural selection of memes”. Despite what this wishy-washy, too-poetic-to-be-true analysis may suggest, memes speak volumes about the humour and beliefs within society. Remember these?

With the relationship between the image the caption having no etymological meaning, the caption of a meme can be chopped and changed depending on the intention of the creator. Examples which spring to mind are “Cash me Outside” and the compilations of Arthur memes, in which the captions are often quite predictable. Nonetheless, the meaning of a meme is not always required to be clear and linear. Most of the time they are abstract and nonlinear, in fact. Above all, the most important function of a meme is to depict ‘coolness’.

Virality and Memes: the good, the bad but mostly the ugly.

Kim Kardashian, or more specifically her career, is a perfect example of how virality can change a life for the better. All thanks to a leaked sex tape in 2007. You can guarantee that this certainly wasn’t one of her finest, most glamorous moments, but I’m sure she’s never looked back. This scandalous footage landed her a career of fame. And now? Over a decade later we spend our lives Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Most recently, with her half-sister Kylie Jenner competing with an egg to get the most liked photo of all time on Instagram, and her step-father Bruce Jenner’s latest transition in becoming Caitlyn, there is no doubt that this family are familiar with being the centre of media attention. With what seemed to be the world going crazy over an egg, this was an attempt, an extremely successful attempt, to promote mental health, specifically how the pressures of social media can make us ‘crack’. Harmless virality, right? What may have once been perceived to be attacks on the Kardashian family, have ultimately led these stars up a path of wealth and success. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t see roaring headline complaints about them loathing this lavish lifestyle?

But it isn’t always this rosy…

What is the first thing that comes to your head when you think of a troll?

This one?

What about this one?

Or perhaps this one?

Both through her own career as a supermodel and TV presenter, and since the birth of her son in 2002, Katie Price has experienced, first hand, the ugly truth of virality, specifically in the form of trolling. Tweets, memes, death threats, you name it, attacking her son for the colour of his skin as well as his disabilities.  Unlike the Kardashians, Harvey is blissfully unaware of the extremes to which he is taunted daily online. But why do we live in a world which allows people to get away with such disgusting behaviour? On a mission, not only to protect Harvey from this online abuse, but anyone who has ever been subject to trolling, in 2017, she started a petition. This eventually received over 200,000 signatures in a bid to make online trolling illegal. Despite her best efforts at exposing these trolls herself, she discovered there to be little, if any, law enforcement in place to protect victims such as Harvey. Being what Goldhaber (1997) describes to be a “star”, fortunately, she was equipped with the tools to attract mass media attention about the issue of online trolling, to which she appeared on many day time TV programmes informing people about ‘Harvey’s Law’.

In spite of her good intentions, it was no shock that trolls not only continued to fire hate filled tweets about Harvey, but curate memes mocking things he has said on TV appearances, as well as taking content Katie had uploaded to her own social media of Harvey as inspiration. 

Any mum would agree that just because she’s in the public eye, it should not mean that she should be deterred from posting photos of her children on social media to protect them from being targeted by trolls. 

A clip which many may be familiar with is their appearance on Loose Women, in which he swears on live TV. Although trolls immediately took to photoshop to mock this display of innocence, many could argue that this is part of the viscous cycle of attention economy (Goldhaber, 1997). In order for trolls to give Harvey attention, they need a source to retrieve it from. Contrary to her pledge to protect Harvey from the doom and gloom of social media that we all know and love, she was recently slammed for ‘baiting trolls’ (The Sun, 2019) by setting Harvey up with his own Instagram account. Is this ultimately an invitation for trolls to attack him? Does it provide trolls with the ‘new’ and ‘original’ content they so desperately desire? What do we think, is she now responsible for the trolling Harvey will now be exposed to online?

 A more recent adaptation of memes, known as GiFs, has also been a platform explored by trolls in order to attack Harvey further. During my research into this topic, from simply typing into my search engine “Harvey Price”, this result appeared…

As if memes weren’t exhilarating enough to fulfil the trolls in their cyber-attacks, GiFs of Harvey can now be generated through this site, ultimately allowing people to express themselves in online conversation through indirectly mocking Harvey. But to them it’s nothing serious. Just a passing comment. What angers me the most about this GiF generator is the use of the term “popular”, suggesting that people visiting this site will have access to nothing but the best GiFs - what the trolls would label to be most successful in terms of their virality. First and full most, who is spending their time designing these websites, and secondly, are they proud? Are they THAT disconnected from their emotions that they don’t view this young man as a human being?

But do these memes live up to the definition of ‘memeing’ proposed by Dawkins (2006)?

Are they powerful?

Definitely not.

But perhaps in one way? They’re powerful for delivering the message that no matter what your race, your sexual orientation, your disabilities or your religion, there will always be people in the world who disagree or are opposed to it. Sure, trolls can hide behind their twitter username, but can they hide from their own insecurities? This is important to consider. What is the need for them to create this content? For how long is it funny? A day? A couple of hours?

Are they original?

Most certainly not. If anything, they lack originality. Well, put it this way, I can’t hear anyone applauding these creators for their outstanding pieces of work…

Is it cool?

You must be joking?

The creators of this content might have themselves fooled that they are some- what inspirational to the rest of the nation, or that they’re admired by their fellow meme-ers for their hardcore memeing. But the rest of the nation? The decent human beings of the nation? Disgraceful. Unintelligent. Bullies. A valuable point to be made here is that creators of memes believe they’re in a superior position to those they are ‘memeing’ about, hence why when these memes are shared and distributed online, they appear ‘funny’ to those who perceive Harvey as inferior to them.

And this is why we can’t have nice things…

Phillips (2015) argues that essentially, trolls “are the reason we can’t have nice things online”. He suggests that the online space is meant to be a community where people can feel safe in sharing their thoughts; through tweeting, or sharing snapshots of their life via Instagram. It appears that sadly, this is no longer the case. Trolls are “born and embedded” within dominant institutions. As a result, the saddest, and most frustrating thing of all about meme trolling, is that as long as trolls have the community to support them, and until social media platforms build stronger, much more stable networks which block out these trolls, there will be no end to trolling. This “unapologetically racist humour and legitimate corporate punditry” will only seize to exist online if the threat of the law was to stand between the troll and the ‘send’ button. Why, in those “golden years” between 2008-2011 in which the trolling subculture became “crystalized”, did establishers of these social networks make a stand for this unwanted behaviour? Why is a mother, regardless of whether she’s famous or simply just the mum next door, forced to make a pledge for this internet craze to be wiped from our screens?

How can we make a difference?

It is important to not turn a blind eye to this kind of behaviour online. Although it may not directly affect you, there will always be someone else is in the firing line. Avoid retweeting, sharing and even posting content online which may later come back to bite you. As someone who has been a present, and an active user of social media since my early teens, during this time, I was extremely naïve to the content online. I’m sure there have been posts which I would look back on now and think how my online presence has changed. My humour has changed. What I like and post about has definitely changed, but most of all, social media as a 20-year-old seems a much scarier place to be than when I was 13. Do you agree?

References:

Phillips, W. (2015). This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Mapping the Relationship Between Online Trolling and Mainstream Culture. Massachusetts: MIT Press.

Dawkins, R. (2006). The Selfish Gene. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Gibb, J. (2019, January 28). Katie Price accused of ‘baiting’ trolls. Retrieved from: https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/8300554/katie-price-accused-of-baiting-trolls-by-giving-son-harvey-his-own-instagram-account-and-failing-to-protect-him/

[xerox-candybar]

Amai Mask has not only been kicked out; in being outed as a monster, all his human rights have been stripped away.  His assets are forfeit, he has no legal standing in the law and he may be killed freely.  

WHAT. That bit about Amai Mask tho! I'm not up to date on the web comic, but...

!!!!

Monster has a funny etymology — it's an antiquated term for all the things we didn't understand once upon a time, because we didn't know any better.

Those bones belong to a dinosaur, not a dragon — and that terrifying, strange and mysterious creature has always been the same animal — even if we called it something else for centuries, that doesn't alter its core components. But the words we choose influence the sentiment surrounding a thing and that's why some people see a monster where others just see a Precious Wolf Boy.

The stories we tell take on a life of their own — growing into myth and lore; misunderstandings that we can feed or even dispel, if we're so inclined to enlighten others. This is why, as an avid reader, nomenclature — an artist's rationale for picking one descriptor over another — has always fascinated me. And also I worked in a linguistics lab for awhile, that ruined me for anything else.

Today, the word "monster" survives mainly as metaphor or hyperbole. Going back to my earlier example — if I refer to a dinosaur as a "monster," you might take umbrage with the accuracy of my terminology but you'd understand the subtext behind why I chose it & the emotions I intended to evoke.

Nowadays, people would more readily apply the word monster to other humans — humans that kill indiscriminately and strip away the rights of others — than any unexplained phenomena in the natural world. Essentially, what the authorities do to Amai Mask here.

I don't like Amai's character at all — I think he deserves to be fired from the HA because he's a bad hero, and I think he deserves to get blacklisted as an entertainer because he's a violent bully.

Small update b/c my mind has changed since I wrote this: If this happened, to be fair, you’d probably have to fire most of the S-Class. Somebody needs to hold this guy (and everybody like him) accountable, really. I think I was a little harsh, but mostly to emphasize my key point, which is:

"no rights/no assets because monster!" is literally something out of the propaganda books (and unfortunately from not-so-recent history).

Anyway, I think it's interesting that ONE specifically mentioned rights and asset forfeiture. I can't speak for the author, of course, but it's an unusual (and very specific!) aspect of world building. It's a heavy thing to touch and never revisit again.

Given that OPM is fundamentally about subverting tropes, I always read the monsters as neutral beings — and I will point out that ONE goes so far as to frame them as a public health issue (because anger / dissatisfaction cause people to transform) or environmental (pollution causes the water/earth/animals to transform). And fighting monsters inadvertently causes them to evolve and become stronger — which seems like a case against fighting them, and a good reason to focus on the root cause.

But then again, I work in mental health / social services so I can't help but view every dystopian universe in terms of the preceding public health crisis.

Updated to add: i was listening to this episode of Throughline today and one of the guests said "we get all high and mighty about the concept of 'humanity' and 'human nature' but in reality no other living creatures are as cruel as humans. you don't see penguins rounding up and torturing other penguins." Anyway just putting that out there as a thought, and also sharing the whimsical imagery of penguin strife.

Feel free to ignore this if you’ve already answered something like this.

Since everyone in the webcomic now know that Amai Mask is a monster, do you think the Hero Association are going to kick Amai out or let him keep his rank? If they supposedly did, Iaian would become Class A rank 1 and would then be offered a spot on the S Class. Do you think Iaian would accept the offer?

Amai Mask has not only been kicked out; in being outed as a monster, all his human rights have been stripped away.  His assets are forfeit, he has no legal standing in the law and he may be killed freely.   Aside: having learned what we have, it really made my blood run cold that Sicchi had wanted Garou declared a monster -- thank goodness the other executives shut it down!

Iaian does become Class A Rank 1 by default, which means he can certainly request a promotion interview.  Whether he’d be granted promotion would be down to  the committee conducting the interview and they’d want to review any evidence available.  Fortunately, Iaian is a smart, sensible lad, one not given to self-delusion.  He’s very unlikely to request that interview, or accept an offer if made.  He has no illusions about how tough the job is and he’s the sort who would want to be very sure he can hack it before accepting.

[the-history-apprentice]

Building the family tree

Image: An example of a 12th century Jesse Tree which details the family tree of Christ 

If there is one project that I would love to start doing, if feasible, that would be creating and writing the history of our family tree. I'd always have these questions in mind: who were the people in our family tree?  What does our surname mean? What are the stories that are waiting to be discovered in our lineage?

It's interesting right? How many times have I wondered about my great-great grandparents and their lives in the past. I wonder who's my ancestor to which I descended from. It's all questions and it's a great subject for an investigation. However, not everybody has the time and resources to conduct such investigation as it may turn out to be costly too. But then again, if you are given such amount of resources, why not?

 I haven't formally started on working a full scale geneological investigation. But over the years and a few family stories in between, I have come up with theories that might shed light to our family tree. Of course, I started with my paternal surname: Pineda

"Will the real Pineda please stand up?"

 A casual search about the etymology of the Pineda surname starts off my first theory - that our family has ancestors from Spain, given our last name. Pineda means "pine forest" in Spanish. The name is common in Barcelona but more prominent in the province of Burgos which is situated in the autonomous community of Castile and Leon where there are places named Pineda (that's your clue there). Before the Romans arrived, the region was occupied by the Celtic peoples. After the fall of Rome, it was occupied by the Visigoths which were of Germanic origin. Later on, Muslims or Moors came to the region which led to the early Reconquista years of the Crusades.

 Looking into the history of our name in the Philippines, it diverges into 2 sets of theories which involves a keen naturalist  / military officer named Antonio Pineda and Governor General Narciso Claveria - the giver of Spanish surnames in the country which was then, a colony of Spain.

Image: Fernando Brambila’s 1875 illustration of the Malaspina Expedition at the island of Samar, Philippines

Theory A starts with Antonio Pineda, who was born in 1751 in Guatemala City, New Spain - which is the modern day, Guatemala which was also a Spanish colony in Latin America. He joined the Malaspina expedition in 1788 which aimed to make a scientific survey of Spain's colonies in South America, Mexico and the Philippines. He was a naturalist by trade with military credentials. He published scientific reports and kept hundreds of logs about the natural diversity in the colonies. He arrived in Manila, Philippines on March 1792 and went north probably around the Ilocos region. Unfortunately, by June 1792, he fell ill and died in Badoc, Ilocos Norte.

 In the 4 months of his stay in the Philippines, there is a possibility that he might have met a native woman and probably had children, given the situation during those times. Unless proven by a primary resource, the theory that Antonio Pineda was related to our family tree is a murky one. But it's interesting to know what else he had done in the Ilocos region and how he led his life there.

"Claveria - the giver of names"

 In another theory, Governor General Narciso Claveria had something to do with our surname. In Spanish colonial times, the authorities had difficulties in ascertaining which one was Juan from Manila and Juan from Cebu. There were a lot of people who shared first names and this caused confusion. Imagine, your name is Maria, you have a cousin whose named Maria and a neighbor who shares the same name as well. To organize everything and conduct a proper census of the people in the islands, Claveria rolled out a list of Spanish surnames for people to take on as their last name. People did took on the Spanish last names although a certain number of families maintained their native surnames like Malabanan, Tabo, Dimaano, just to name a few. There were even stories that some Spanish authorities mocked the natives by including funny sounding Spanish surnames, or more like Spanish surnames with ridiculous meanings. Well, we always have that one classmate in school with a funny sounding surname.

Image: Portrait of Governor General Narciso Claveria Y Zaldua 1795-1851

Under the Claveria system, towns that start with a certain letter should have surnames that start with same letter too. In our case, Pineda shares the same first letter with Pototan, a municipality in Iloilo. My grandfather and his family hails from Pototan and were farmers there. Another bit of trivia that I also discovered is that Pototan came from the word "Putat" which is a small tree with parts are used for medicinal purposes and as a poison for fish and wild hogs (used in hunting). This also gives us a conjecture that our forefathers chose Pineda is because it shares the common denominator with Pototan - trees (talk about tree loving ancestors) So yes, in the Philippines, even up till now, surnames and places share the same first letters and most likely, the families living for the longest time in the place are related as cousins. My grandfather told the family that we are cousins with the Peregrino and Parcon families of Pototan.

 Another story that my grandfather told us was that a merchant from Pampanga, a province in midland Luzon came to Pototan to start a business and yes, he was a Pineda too. Pampanga is a "baluarte" or bastion of the Pineda clan. This gives us another conjecture that the Pinedas of Pototan, Iloilo are also related to the Pinedas of Pampanga. This is another interesting lead especially when I will be finally able to trace the family records. Hopefully, there would be records left as we all know, the destruction during World War 2 meant that some family records that date back to the earlier times might have been destroyed. This adds another challenge, should I try to pursue to establish our family tree.

"This is how I met your Mother?"

 This is another theory that adds a fascinating layer to the conjectures surrounding our family tree. According to my mother, my great grandmother was a chinese mestiza. Mestizos / mestizas, as they call it in the Philippines were akin to biracial people. Because the Philippines back then was a melting pot of different cultures, East and West, there were a lot of mestizos and mestizas. Most of them came from Ilustrado families, say, the equivalent of middle class in modern times. Another set of questions were born out of that family story - who could be our Chinese ancestor? Which region of China did he came from? Are we related to Genghis Khan? (well, most Asians, are descendants of Genghis Khan, knowing how the Mongols conquered the vast lands of Asia)

Image: Portrait of Genghis Khan or more appropriately, Chinggis Khan

So if we follow the mitochondrial DNA, which is only passed by females, it could establish a link or another conjecture of our genealogical relations in China. Its the mitochondrial DNA that will tell the story from the maternal lineage. The answers can also support my long held suspicions over my "Asian Flush" (the inability of my body to break down alcohol quickly, hence, when I drink, I blush, like really rosy cheeks - a common trait and genetic predispostion among people with East Asian descent like Chinese, Japanese and Koreans) and my lactose intolerance (ugh) which is again, same trait that is common with the East Asian descent.

“Your family, your history”

 Establishing your family history is an interesting and enriching project. Of course, all of the theories that I mentioned here are still theories - unless proven by official records and primary sources. It will be fascinating if I will get the chance to pursue this properly, I can't wait to hear the stories from our past relatives. This is also an exercise of knowing who you really are, as good old Socrates once said, "Know thyself". It gives you a sense of identity - to know your lineage and appreciate the stories surrounding your family tree.

 How about you? Have you ever thought of putting up your family tree? Have you ever wondered about the stories behind your name? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

 Thanks for reading this really long read and hope to see you again in my next post. Until then.

[sparklyjojos]

hey i sent you an ask but internet problematic here so i dunno if it was sent? As someone with no experience with neurodivergent people i was hoping you could elaborate what you have previously said about Kars in JORGE JOESTAR (and other characters maybe) seeming neurodivergent. Like, i'd love to know your headcanons about jojo characters regarding this, as well as reasoning for the headcanon's (optional, but i'd love it)

(wow this one sure took me a long time to answer, sorry!)

oh boy, this would be an extremely long post if I included all other jojo characters I headcanon as nd so I’m just going to focus on Jorge (the Japanese one) and novel Kars for now

this won’t be a “this character definitely has x thing”, but just pointing out traits and dialogue that may interest someone who wants to headcanon/write these characters as nd

am I going to be reaching with some of those? yep! but if the Jorge Joestar novel itself taught me anything, it’s that:

so, you know. I see what I wanna see.

(tw: mental illness, trauma, ptsd, suicide - all in the Kars segment)

Jorge:

 – the sheer difference in introductions is telling: English Jorge talks at length about his family, his classmates, his gay puppy crush, and anything else you’d expect to be major concerns for a kid. Japanese Jorge? social life haha what social life, HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR 10 PAGES OF PUZZLE SOLVING

 – no really if the very first thing someone says after seeing all your memories is that you sure spend a lot of time on puzzles then that’s some deep interest you have, a bit of a stereotypical hobby there but whatevs

 – hyperfocuses a lot??

 – (exasperated Kars who’s been trying to get his attention for a good minute:) “You have a bad habit of not hearing when people speak to you.” (Jorge:) “Yeah, if I’m focused on something else. Sorry. What?”

 – tunes out of one phone conversation with Bruno like 3 times

 – figures out how time-based Stands work specifically because he has experience with his internal sense of time getting royally fucked up whenever he’s deeply focused

 – was inattentive (and hyperactive?) as a young kid to the point it affects how the memories on his disc look like: “I was a fidgety child, and the image rarely focused on [Joseph] for long. I wasn’t interested in his story.”

 – visual thinker, good with patterns, can make complicated mental maps and solve slide puzzles in his mind

 – his memory is really good until it isn’t (as far as he’s concerned Funny Valentine’s Stand is called Dirty Whatever)

 – very particular about meanings of words and names, etymology (his arc starts and ends with him pondering over the kanji of his own name, knows latin names of various species like Hydrangea or Ursus maritimus and what they mean literally, that “sorry that name’s taken” line when Rohan calls something a Beyond, etc)

 – doesn’t like (is distressed by?) clutter and things/details being WRONG. (“If details don’t add up right I get agitated, and start searching for a better way. This trait has lead to my room being very clean, and made me a great detective.”)

 – infodumps to Rohan about polar bears of all things, and there’s a moment when he stops talking almost mid-sentence after mentioning they’re called Ursus maritinus and instead of speaking out loud he just thinks to himself that “The scientific name was given by John Phipps in 1774” as if he just realized that’d be Too Much detail to share, I feel you Jorge

 – (after Erina says he has a characteristic soft smile) “I do? I mean, I guess people do say I look like an idiot.”  

 – gets urges to laugh at very bad times (”Cars’ whispered response had an air of such grim realism that I almost started laughing, but he was watching me suspiciously. Whoops.”)

 – sometimes blurts out things, often fails one-liners, even when he pre-plans what he’s going to say something else may come out (“I’d thought of all kinds of things to say, but what actually popped out in that moment? (…) I have no idea what I meant by that last bit but I said what I said and had to live with it.”)

 – sometimes impulsive, like yeah let’s just get up in the middle of the night and search through a 10 km^2 area on a bike for something unprecised while you have several death threats to your name, this can’t possibly backfire

 – (after Jorge quite literally blows himself up by impulsive carelessness) “Cars was still laughing. “You really don’t think things through.“”

 – small point that’s made moot by paranormal things like that being real in the jojoverse, but his tendency to see signs and messages meant for him everywhere and in every event, and insisting on coincidences not being mere synchronicity gives off a different vibe than intended (at least at the beginning before he knows Stands and Beyonds are a thing)

Kars:

 – honestly I could just slap the definition of “neurodivergent = with their brain functioning differently from what’s seen as ‘normal’ in the population” here and point at his backstory in this book and be done with it

 – remember everything I’m writing is on top of his canon image of an asocial genius scientist with poor affect (or, in the anime, varying between stone face and painfully exaggerated expressions) who has a connection with nature and animals, which I guess can? be seen as some type of autistic coding (unfortunately in this case it dovetails into “a loner with autistic traits = snaps and kills everyone” type of coding sooo maybe let’s not go there)

 – novel Kars talks about how when he was younger he didn’t even know that feeling sympathy and wanting to have emotional attachments with others –was a thing– (apparently his race wasn’t capable of it??), and he had to sorta consciously try to understand and learn it through reading human fiction. It came off to me like he relates better to fictional characters (and maybe animals?) than to his race or humans, too

 - ^^(that backstory’s a bit unclear with how it’s told; either just like his race he doesn’t have the drive for social bonding, empathy etc. and his understanding of others is made purely on the intellectual level - that’s relatable for some nd people - or he DOES have those things in a drastic difference from everyone else of his race, which I guess makes him nd by definition. It’s… complicated.)

– on the topic of “consciously learning how to sympathy” - there’s a few times in the novel when he’s a prick not because he wants to be but because he genuinely doesn’t understand why the other person would be upset (”Cars, sorry, but can you put me back at my old height?” “?…isn’t the view better?”), but if that person explains how the thing is upsetting he then backs off like “oh okay” (when Jorge is disturbed about the women’s heads thing - “Yeah. But I just feel sorry for them. I can’t watch this.” - Kars just goes “I see.” and makes them disappear). He still has to work on the “taking your private memories without asking” issue tho

 – that moment in the backstory where Kars became deeply aware of just how flawed and “not up to own potential” he was which launched him straight into unhealthy perfectionism and desire for control and power as a way of dealing with it? relatable

 – and that thing where him becoming much more chill is preceeded by the realization that he can’t ever - and that he doesn’t have to - become an infinitely perfect being without weaknesses, and that he’d still have worth and meaning even when he’s not performing to some ridiculous self-imposed standards?? GREAT, and I love to see lines like this one coming from him: “Cars smiled. “I have no desire to be the leadingman.””

 – he talks about how traumatic events and your emotional reactions to them (“feeling like you’re dying”) can damage your soul. Since he claims to have experience determining soul damage, and the only souls he worked with before belonged to 36 other Karses, we can assume he’s talking about himself as well. (and it’s kinda obvious that having everyone you love die in

 – ^^^also worth noting that even if Kars knew a lot about brains biology-wise, he missed out on practically all of modern psychology after 1939, so of course the way he relates to trauma and mental illness would be different, and more informed by what he learned having spent most of his life around ancient civilizations in the Americas - the concept of soul loss. And it’s not like the book doesn’t wink towards it in other places (English Jorge dissociating during torture is described as him having learned how to remove his soul from his body)

 – Light Dancer Kars speaks about how he wanted to commit suicide, then in the same paragraph says that he and our Kars feel “the same sadness”, which, wow. Earlier there are scenes where you can interpret Kars’s behaviour as passively suicidal; he doesn’t seek death, but if something (burning upon reentry while saving the humans, fighting Dio) did kill him, he wouldn’t mind that much

 – this one is very subjective because you can interpret these moments as just him being very lost in thought / focusing on healing (Jorge sure does), but: when faced with intense emotional stress - like hearing Light Dancer Kars’s existential speech, or almost getting killed because he chose to shield the humans from harm - Kars has a tendency to go non- or barely verbal, motionless, unresponsive to outside stimuli (including people trying to get his attention by calling his name) and staring at one thing / into space, ignoring even a zombie attack or that they’re pressed on time in alternate!Morioh. When I first read it I assumed he just dissociated really hard (ptsd-related?), or was in a shutdown

 – if you pay attention to what traits Kars seems to be holding in high regards - either through saying that X is a good thing about humanity, or bemoaning that humanity doesn’t have X (that he ofc does) - they’re stuff like creativity, perseverance, attention to details, pattern-based thinking, the desire to “figure stuff out”, and good memory. AKA traits often (though not always) increased in autistic people

 - at one point he says: ”In the end, you’re just another human. You see a mystery and think, ‘How odd!’ and put in on a shelf somewhere.” I’m sorry but even in context it sounds like “apparently people can see an interesting thing without instantly getting fixated and wanting to know and understand everything about it right there and then, what the fuck”

 – he tends to be either very invested in what’s going on or bored, no inbetween, and avoiding that boredom is a high priority (”And it seems I’ve run out of time to eat you all… But I wasn’t bored.”)

um yeah that’s all I can think of rn

[movies-are-magic]

A Tale Of Love And Darkness

A Tale Of Love And Darkness is the movie adaptation of Amos Oz’ bestseller of the same title. With the book’s epic proportions, myriads of nuances, and being largely autobiographic, this story of a boy growing up in the Jerusalem of the 1940s and 50s, during the founding of the state of Israel, had long been said to be impossible to make into a movie. This task has now been taken on and completed.

Although critically acclaimed, it was difficult to find a cinema screening of this movie, especially in Hebrew. Still, I recommend the effort (the movie is available on DVD etc now), even if there are dubbed versions available.

WARNING: Contains heavy spoilers. If you have neither seen the movie nor read the book, chances are that this text will be difficult to understand.

Where does one start with this movie? It is a mysterious work, one that does not explain, and where it does, you still have to find out on your own what you have just heard and seen. This, perhaps, is the largest difference between the book and the movie. Where the book consists of hundreds and hundreds of pages, so many tales, so much detail, narrated by the author himself, all those memories from his childhood, the movie manages to pick all those bits and pieces, so many tiny yet important things, and combines them all into a tightly woven tale of only one and a half hours.

Just like the book, the movie has a first perspective narrator, who is Amos Oz in later years, when he writes his book. This is not the constant voice of the pages though, through which everything is filtered. The movie starts very differently, with something that is only a small part of the written story: with the storytelling game Fania keeps playing with her little son Amos.

It is a beautiful caprice in an otherwise strict, almost restrained way of storytelling, and it works very well in its context: the fantasy tales this woman imagines in contrast to the harsh reality she and her family live in become the frame for the narrative, a very different approach to the story compared to the book. Of this, almost the entire first half is left out, which largely consists of Amos’ relatives recounting their lives, as well as records of their living circumstances. The movie focuses more closely on Fania and leaves out much of the family history, as well as the dramas enfolding in Amos’ life as he grows up, insofar as his parents are not concerned.

Taking all these explanations out of the movie, instead of, for example, having the narrator explain them all, and making this a much longer story, was a brave decision, but it works. It works because despite focussing so much on his mother, this is still very much Amos’ story and therefore the essence of the book, rendered well into the medium of film because we are shown, not told, how he sees what happens around him – often literally so, when the camera takes his point of view from where his eye level would be, or in the scene under the tree, where Amos sees his happily smiling parents upside-down, which is funny, then strangely predicting… and suddenly interrupted by the sound of a shot close-by. In this way, the movie leaves behind a feeling that there are things the audience does not understand, because as a child, Amos could not either.

Before I venture into more of the characters, let me just say quickly how beautiful the movie is made: it looks and feels authentic, never exaggerated, and instead relies on certain detail, such as the agitated making of borscht and the used looks of household items and furniture, to convey an aliveness that speaks out of the screen. The colours of the pictures have been carefully chosen, and while it is obvious how they change from warm yellows and oranges in the beginning to dull blues and greys toward the end, and finally to black with either weak or harsh bits of cold light, sometimes there are surprises, like the entirely yellow tinges in Amos’ fantasy stories.

From the very first moment, the movie brings out the special bond Fania shares with her son, and their shared gift of seeing the world in deep accuracy. The decision to have the two ‘act’ in the stories Fania tells is a wonderful way of conveying the feeling of literally being inside the narrative, and painfully so in the end. At some point it becomes clear that Fania’s marriage to her husband Jehuda Arie, although apparently harmonic, is not a happy one, and that Amos cannot be the one to save her, on whom she can rely – but he thinks that it should be him. Just as much as this is too much to ask from a child, from anyone, it is also excruciating to see Amos adapt some of his mother’s habits of punishing herself when she does not ‘function’ the way the world wants her to, when she is not the model wife and housekeeper, that she does not fit in.

I have no way to avoid this topic, so if you do not want a massive spoiler, I’d suggest you stop reading here. It is named early in both book and movie though.

Neither the book nor the movie blame anyone for Fania’s suicide. There were accusations, as Amos Oz describes in his book, for example towards his father, and he himself also blamed himself massively. Finally though, there is no answer, and if there were one, it would not be simple. However, with the book’s accurate descriptions of the peculiar, sometimes tragically absurd behaviour of human beings, the story becomes incredibly relatable, but also shockingly personal and open. It is all the more astonishing because, as written in the book, almost all of this detail comes from memory, especially as most of Fania’s things were thrown away after her death. Still the narrative is as alive as if there had been a recorder running while the characters speak. That this novel is such a bestseller has been partly accounted to its many tales of immigrants, to which a lot of people in the world can relate, but I think it is also about this personal approach to the reader. You care about these people, with all their faults and weaknesses that render them so real and often amiable, and you start to feel that there is something wrong. But as so often the case, it is impossible to guess what made Fania choose death. To go there, to show that, and to abstain from easy platitudes and fluff-mongering, that is brave. The movie does not stray from the book’s way of storytelling here.

Natalie Portman insisted on making her movie in Hebrew because of the book’s many relations to the language, not only in its descriptions of the founding of the state Israel, which Amos is shown witnessing as a boy, but in a great lot of things: his family’s love for books, everyone writing including his father and, sometimes, his mother, every neighbour and friend writing, Arie’s tries of making jokes about related words and etymologies (he spoke and understood a great number of languages), a book Amos had been reading falling down when the final tragic event is announced, even single letters, א and מ, which stand for political parties, but as Amos runs past them to find Fania sitting on her own in the rain, they combine to אמא, ‘mother’. (please do correct me if I’m wrong here, my grasp of the Hebrew language is limited to a mere handful of words)

None of this detail has been left out of the movie, and while both book and movie have been accused of not being political, that is simply not true. They are, the book explicitly so, the movie a little less, and they bring their point across. But maybe these critics were looking for a simple opinion to print in a big bold headline, which is not provided. Instead, the narrative links history, politics, and personal life, the way Amos witnessed them when he was a child, and in the book, also about the years to follow. There could be no more raw account of what happened, and mixed with the authentic pictures from the times, the movie leaves its impressions just as strongly as it does when it shows the family’s private struggles.

Where the movie is relatively consistent in its timeline, the book oscillates back and forth in time, over the years, but more and more closely toward Fania’s suicide, like a pendulum finally stopping at its deepest point. Still, there are very little actual changes to the book, and where they happen, it is usually in highlighting or leaving out, not in actual difference. For example, when Amos is sent to spend the day with a childless couple who are friends of his parents, he is told by his father about the links of the word childlessness with expressions such as darkness. While the words are spoken in the movie, Fania is shown bringing her son, and then leaving on her own through a narrow alley, passing a corner – and once the camera turns around that corner, she is gone.

This is one of the many little ways symbolising the movie’s take on Amos’ view of things, maybe his view on them from the present. As Fania later keeps insisting that it is okay if her husband spends the night elsewhere while she is sick, that Amos would be there for her, the feeling that only her son’s presence is giving her a reason to struggle on with her depression grows stronger and stronger. Maybe Amos really is the only person to see his mother the way she truly is, the way his father can never understand her. Who, although being angry about her, saying that she is ‘punishing’ him to his son, is shown as helpless as he is, not as someone guilty of having done anything to her, but someone who cannot deal with the situation at all.

Apart from Fania’s storytelling, there is another tiny part of the book which the movie has picked up as part of its narrative frame. As Amos tries to explain to himself his mother’s death, he imagines her imagination of a hero to save her, a brave soldier, a strong pioneer, a handsome lover, someone who is successful at everything and so not like his clumsy, bookish (but real and lovable) father, and who would save Fania from her misery. In the book, this figure is shortly mentioned being Death himself, who lures in Fania until he takes her with him. In the movie, we see him more often, most notably when he is a Rabbi praying on a cliff, with Fania standing incredulously next to him, shortly before she kills herself. If someone could explain the cultural and religious subtext of this scene, I’d be very grateful.

Fania sees this person once more as she dances with him through the rain in the night of her suicide. But what she also sees is her son, not the little boy, but the aged narrator of the story, through a café window. This is not in the book, and it is such a painful, intense moment, it makes me wonder what inspired it. Is this a nod to the author?

In interviews Natalie Portman said that the story also describes Amos’ ‘birth’ as an author, and there are many hints to that. Most important is the movie’s last scene though, when the narrator is shown writing אמא, ‘mother’, into an empty notebook. It sums up the story so well in so many aspects, the language, writing, books, both Amos’ mother and father, it comes as the perfect ending to a both personal and global story, one of family and one of death, of so many things that even now it is hard to find words for it.

If I had not known beforehand that this was Natalie Portman’s directorial feature debut, I would not have believed it. Nor that she wrote the script (during no less than eight years) and still managed to act her part so well, too, just as all the actors and actresses put on stunning performances. There is a language of pictures, timing, sound and music to this movie, insight into the story, the characters, of how people and objects are put into scenes, of symbolism, of artistic measures that are handled and reined with such sure hands, which many makers of movies with much more experience behind the camera do not show. It left me stunned, and as much as the book is a revelation, the movie adaptation deserves this description no less. I am very much looking forward to more.

[eregyrn-falls]

I mean, that’s why I WAS arguing in the replies to the previous post that, at a certain point, that IS just how folklore works. ;-)  The “truth” of its origins (if we can even determine that at this point) is one thing, but the “story about the story” that has gained popularity in the last, whatever, hundreds years (or however long it’s been) is yet again the mechanism of folklore -- people are passing around the story behind the story; it’s still a story.

As I argued then, what studying folklore, and the transmission of folklore, gets you is a look at what people consider important, but usually as oblique evidence.  They’re not necessarily telling you outright that it’s important; you figure out what’s going on beneath the surface based on what they’re doing, or passing along.  And it’s just as telling when they’re doing it but don’t think they’re doing it.

(That is -- parents engaging in holiday rituals are mostly consciously passing those rituals along to their children.  They might not be able to articulate all of what’s important about it, especially beneath the surface.  And they will probably never articulate the idea that part of its importance lies in creating community, that those who share in the ritual and the passing-on of the ritual are creating some kind of in-group.  But that’s different from people passing around jokes, or folk etymologies, or folk theories, when they really don’t realize that they are in fact engaging in folklore.)

That’s what I think this particular thing is.  The funny part is that by passing around the “true” story of Ring around the Rosie, people ARE engaging in folk transmission; but what they THINK they’re doing is engaging in folklore in a different way, that is, passing along a “true history” that explains how seemingly unrelated things (like a children’s game) can encode the concerns and fears of the time in which they arose (the plague).  In this case, that probably isn’t true... but in other cases, it certainly is.  So the people eagerly passing along that claim aren’t even engaging in bad folklore, in terms of pointing out how folklore works within a community.  But they are in fact engaging in a different kind of folklore than they think they are. 

And that’s still interesting. ;-)  The thing it tells you regarding what’s important to the group about that folk-origin story is probably something the group isn’t aware that it’s telling you. It may not even be a good thing or a flattering thing.  (Folklore isn’t always “good”, it’s value neutral.  Conspiracy theories are transmitted by folk mechanisms, and they DO tell us about things that are important to the people transmitting them, but what it’s telling us isn’t something to be celebrated.  Or, to take an only slightly more benign example - the folklore that surrounds the U.S. Thanksgiving is almost completely spurious in origin, and what it’s doing beneath the surface is reinforcing a sort of “feel-good colonialism” that tries to paper over the real conflicts of that history.  It’s creating in-groups and out-groups, but not really in a good way.)

I feel you, though, in the sense that the people whose approach to it is to barge in and be all “WELL, ACTUALLY...” can be tiring.  Unfortunately, that’s also been true for forever.  Even when you trace its outlines, folklore can be hard to pin down.  And people DO like Argument from Authority. 

As I said before -- I’m not saying it’s NOT a good thing, to point out that the “plague” explanation is probably not true.  History and folklore always exist in a kind of tension, and while the latter is powerful, there is also power in knowing more about the “true” history of something -- or, as close to true as we can get, at any one place and time.  My point is only that debunking folklore is difficult; it sticks for a reason.  Sometimes shining the light of historical accuracy on it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.  Depends on what it’s accomplishing beneath the surface.

Genuinely asking, what is the urban legend around Ring a Rosie? And what's the truth if it's known?

The urban legend is that it’s about the Black Plague, with varying attestations for what the different parts of the song “represent” 

As far as the “truth goes, there isn’t exactly a “true” meaning of the song that people are actually missing, it’s more that, like a lot of folkloric things, there are a sprawling number of variations of the song and the primary thing tying them together is that they’re basically just instructions for the children’s game that goes along with them. 

That might be a boring answer, and there might be people who still take that and argue the one specific version everyone sees plague allusions in is still “really” about that, but there’s never been any evidence that quantifies that, it’s just a story that has pervaded the public consciousness. The time period it first pops up isn’t one where plague would have been a go-to topic (and the earliest versions don’t feature most of the “proof” people point to), a lot of the claims people make are only viable in retrospect (the language not being anything that was actually used in the relevant eras), and etc. It’s not so much that there’s something else it’s about instead as it is that it’s almost certainly just a nonsense song that’s had an alternate meaning ascribed to it very recently. 

Which you know, definitely happens. You could even argue that it coming to represent something else is just sort of how folklore works. But it’s the fact that people like to use it as a “gotcha” or to show off their trivia knowledge, and that the claim is a completely unsubstantiated one presented as something that has always been fact that gets me. 

[nightscaped-archive]

hc prompt or hc question nobody knows but kael when he has a son, tell me all about daddy kael when he has his first son ;w; ( aka smol natsu 2.0 )

OKAY, AM I FUCKIN READY TO TALK ABOUT THIS— So, first of all, I wanna make it very clear that, obviously, he’d never prefer his son to Hana and he’d never prefer Hana to his son. His babies are his babies…he loves them both…I mean, that’s an absolute given but I just want to get that disclaimer out of the way in case anybody reads what I say the wrong way. Honestly, having at least one son is something he wants but, at the same time, I really don’t think he’d be disappointed or that he’d even give a shit were he to have daughters and nothing else? Anyway, with that out of the way, onto the actual headcanon.

Firstly, I think Kael would like to name his first son after Natsuhiko in some way or another but I dont actually think he’d call him Natsu (and I guess I’m not too fussed about giving a Korean-coded kid a Japanese name, even if it is symbolic). I do, however, think he would, with Asura’s permission, give the child a name that calls back to Natsu in some other way. My first thought is that Natsu translates as Summer and something incorporating that would work well. (just throwing it out there but hajoon could work well as one of the ways this can be written in hanja is 夏准 and  the ha (夏)  also occurs in natsuhiko (夏彦), given that it is the chinese character for summer but idk man that’s just some etymology for u)

If you think for even a second that Kael wouldn’t try to raise a trendy son, you’re very much mistaken! I think the greatest way (okay, that might be an exaggeration) his son could insult him in later life would be to spend his adult life badly dressed. I’m not saying he’d dress a child the way he dresses himself, obviously, but I like to think there’d be obvious inspirations in there somewhere. He’d also make a pretty big point of making sure his son never felt pressured by the need to be more masculine if he didn’t want that. It’s something that messed Kael up when he was younger, being raised in the very much hyper-masculine, aggressively macho surroundings of military life and he certainly wouldn’t want his son to deal with that same kind of stress. 

He’d be absolutely supportive of his son, no matter what, and if he took a keen interest in typically ‘non-masculine’ (as uncomfy as i feel usin that word to describe anything) areas like fashion, make-up, the arts, etc., Kael would definitely help. The same is true if his son turned out to be a bookish type (not unlikely if he ingerits Kael’s intelligence). Furthermore, if his son wound up interested in sports or science or something else about which Kael didn’t give a shit, he’d try to take an interest for his son’s sake. Although this is very, very true of Hana as well. Kael grew up without his mother being very interested in him and he’d never wish the same on his own children. In that same vein, however, he’d also be very, very strict (possibly to a fault) in making sure his son never took any interest in the army, even in spite of what propaganda and media might be thrown his way. Seeing his son become a soldier would tear Kael apart. It would ruin him. 

As we all know, Kael didn’t grow up with a father himself but always greatly admired his father regardless. Even now, he wants to be like his father, if only in different ways than he did before. It’s also true that Kael wishes he’d had the chance to get to know his father too and that he’d been able to share some closeness with him. Because of this, I think Kael would also try to be as good a role-model to his son as he possibly could. In his mind, that should be a father’s job, particularly where a son is concerned. Also, not to be dramatic here but…imagine this kid taking after Kael, physically, and dumb selfies taken together (presumably before he’s old enough to get embarrassed about it) with matching poses and stuff…honestly ill cry……

Anyway, I’m getting too far ahead. You said ‘when he has his first son’, not years after he has him. I think he’d have an easier time bonding with child, honestly, just because it won’t be as scary. Hana, being the first child, was pretty daunting and, given that she’s only a few months old, she still is. The whole experience has been a bit overwhelming and, sometimes, he’s a little too careful with her. That’s why I think he’d have a much easier time settling into the process of bonding with his son because, hey, he’s done this before. He knows he’s not going to make some awful mistake and ruin everything because he knows what he’s doing. Sure, Hana gets all the first child doing stuff for the first time novelties but, when Kael and Asura have a son, he’ll get all the look, at least we’re not panicking novelties. I think Kael would also feel very close to his son very quickly. With Hana taking after Asura more and her being the first child, I think Hana would attach herself to her mother more. Granted, most little kids prefer their mothers, I do think Kael and his son would have a similar sort of attachment (and not just because they’re both male). I’ve talked before about Jisoo’s bond with Kael and I think this would be perfectly reflected here. Is that because I like drawing parallels between Kael and his father? Probably but it’s an important image to me anyway.

Going back to the trendy thing from before, though….can you imagine this kid as a toddler? Kael would dress him up all stylish and personally cut/style his hair. Occasionally throwing on a tiny leather jacket. Mini-Kael. Someone tells him he’s being a little excessive? Like Kael gives a shit, look how cute his son is! It goes without saying, though, that he wouldn’t actually be raising his son to think he needs to look stylish or that looks are the be-all and end-all. He’d just want to dress his son up cute while he’s still little. And you know how they make, like, Doc Martens for babies and toddlers and stuff? I’m sure you already know where I’m going with this.

And, fair warning, Kael will be the kind of dad to tease his kids, just because he thinks it’s funny. Not just casual teasing either. More like…the kind of teasing he’d only get away with when Asura wasn’t there because she probably wouldn’t find it quite as funny because, oh, look, you made your kid cry — but he’d never actually do anything genuinely mean so don’t take that the wrong way; he wouldn’t actually do anything to harm or genuinely upset his kids, that’s awful!! It’s just Kael...being the pain in the arse that he always is. He likes teasing people!

@niflheimdragoon

[misspelled-life-blog]

I feel like writing,

so I guess I’ll write some.

Hey 👋. I don’t usually like to do this (write my thoughts out for others), but honestly (1) I’m only writing to just feel somewhat better, and (2) I secretly do want someone else to read this.

But that’s a very vulnerable thing to say. I’m usually never vulnerable in front of other people; it keeps me safe, secure, and sane. A good example of a defense mechanism I use would be the fact that I’m subconsciously dancing around what I want to talk about with being meta. Case in point.

Sorry. On the bright side, I can self-analyze, and therefore self-criticize, so we can move past this now-double-meta analysis.

I’m ambiverted.

If you’re unaware of what ambiverted means, a little etymology might help: the “verted” part is the same as in “introverted” and “extroverted”. The prefix “ambi-” just means both. That means that being ambiverted is paramount to getting both scoops of energy sources in my waffle cone.

By itself, that’s not really a bad thing. Like anything else, it has its ups and it has its downs, but I’m not writing to share what ambiversion is; I’m writing to externalize my problems—er, problem... dilemma... issue... I don’t really have an accurate term for it (which, ironically, means I should make it plural again because failing to find a word is a problem in and of itself).

Let’s stop dancing around the issue;

let’s start talking about it.

Just kidding, let’s dance around it some more—verbose pre-explanation is more important than the crucial issue at hand, of course (partial sarcasm due to internal discourse; you might understand in a minute).

My ambiversion is battling with itself. Essentially, I’m internally split into two subpersonalities: an introvert and an extrovert.

Extrovert-me deals with real-life people. He’s the fun party animal that’s funny and cool; he relates well and knows how to utilize introvert-me for smart analyses of everyday situations (basically, introvert-me is good at advice and appearing to be smart). Extrovert-me powers up with more and more social interaction; each interaction is a boost, each conversation a power-up, each pleased person a steroid.

Introvert-me is everything but. Introvert-me doesn’t hate people, he just doesn’t care about them—other than maybe a good opportunity for a thought-provoking, brain-exercising, all-around-fun argument. Introvert-me always has something fun (relative to him) on his mind, like a good project to program, or some interest math to explore—maybe even the occasional topic to write about (hi from mr. introvert). Introvert-me drains through social interaction though; each interation is a percentile of energy, each conversation a decile of energy, each social conflict a pair of pliers waiting to cut the power wire.

When I’m with people (i.e. school), the extrovert is in control; conversely, when I’m alone/away from people, the introvert is in control.

The issue arises due to the fact that while one is in the driver’s seat, the other is in the passenger’s seat. For example, while extrovert-me is in control, he’s ramping up more and more with his totally-suave social interactions, but introvert-me is just in the background, taking silent hits, and extrovert-me doesn’t really notice. This leads to issues where, being at 200% with a group, I’ll transition to being alone (relaxing at home after a party, for example), wherein introvert-me takes control, and suddenly be at -50%.

This usually isn’t an issue though. After I leave a group, there tends to not be any follow-up, and as such introvert-me has time to recharge just fine by indulging in some interests, essentially (and, I suppose, subconsciously) balancing the needs and wants of introvert-me with the wants and needs of extrovert-me.

“But what if something goes wrong? Like what if you don’t get any alone time?”

It won’t. Nothing will go wrong.

“But I asked a ‘what-if’ question...”

And I answered with an ‘it-won’t’ answer.

“That’s not how ‘what-if’ questions work. You just ignored the whole condition by denying its existence and possibility! That’s down-right ignorant!”

Thank you, externalized internal self-critical voice that I’m pretending is the reader. I know. If you insist on an answer then fine:

I work just fine if I don’t get alone time*. I went a whole 12 days at a summer camp without much alone time*, constantly in the presence of a group of other people. It worked out just fine^!

*: I did retreat, somewhat. Most notably, when walking between the lunch hall and classrooms, I’d put my earbuds in and walk faster (uphill...) than my peers. It gave a quiet few minute or two.

^: It worked fine overall (that is, I didn’t really feel like there was ever an issue), but there were specific instances wherein someone would simply just walk along with me during my aforementioned “fast-walking retreat time” and it would, without any logical reason, infuriate me, as if their simple presence was enough to provoke me. Since the retreat time was short and rare, though, the overall time where I was not fine was next to nonexistent.

It’s not until writing that I realize that neither side, introvert-me nor extrovert-me, like to give up control unless they decide they want to. In a sense, it’s either by convincing themselves it’s a good idea to switch, or they get bored and don’t care about staying in control since they’re not doing anything themselves.

Introvert-me switches to extrovert-me when I go to school because introvert-me recognizes how hard it would be if extrovert-me wasn’t in control, navigating the seemingly-murky waters of social interaction; further, going to school usually happens when introvert-me is already charged up and has been in control for a good while, and he therefore figures that extrovert-me deserves to have some fun too.

Likewise, extrovert-me gives up control when I arrive back at home because he believes that introvert-me will be productive, making for better future social interactions, and/or extrovert-me simply becomes bored.

When one has control and is prompted to change drivers against their current choice, the vehicle (me) starts to stall, eventually rolling down a hill, off a cliff, into a wall if left without a navigator.

This explains why introvert-me doesn’t like to budge when extrovert-me starts saying “hey, there’s a person talking to us, so how about you give me the wheel!”

I presume the converse is same for introvert-me trying to take control from extrovert-me, but I can’t think of a case where it applies/has happened.

Side-note: the way I divide myself into two subpersonalities sounds (to me) fairly similar to a case of multiple-personality disorder, but it’s more of just a convenient analogy (and efficient model for thinking) than it is an accurate description for diagnosis. I’ve essentially just personified the left- and right-hemispheres of the brain.

Who needs useful titles

when you can just divide the content into sections and just use headers as a convenient subconscious mental cue to the reader that there’s going to be a topic-shift? Not me!

So, to quickly sum up the hard part of writing—the me-being-vulnerable part—here’s a quick synopsis: there’s a person that's definitely extroverted and likes to have a constant, non-stop duplex stream of conversation and communication, which extrovert-me cannot stop enjoying and introvert-me cannot stop hating. Extrovert-me adores them; introvert-me despises them. Further, this extroverted person likes to make plans in the middle of introvert-me’s precious alone time. Introvert-me can’t see a valid reason why he should give up the wheel, so he doesn’t.

This is problematic because that means when this extroverted person tries to contact me, they’re met with introvert-me, who can’t stand them. Introverted-me isn’t rude or anything because he has values and doesn’t believe it’s okay to mistreat someone who hasn’t done anything wrong. Nonetheless, he refuses to give up control in the middle of his recharging time.

This leads to full inner-chaos: introvert-me is angry about being nudged to give up control during recharging time, of which he’s very greedy about (not to mention the constant, tiresome intrusions just for him to relay messages to and from the other half [extrovert-me]) AND extrovert-me is angry about not getting to interact with the extroverted person, of which extrovert-me would be greedy with giving control back, in turn causing more angry-chaos from introvert-me who’d be losing even more precious recharging time.

And I, as the vehicle, don’t know what to do, honestly. I can’t tell the person to screw off because extrovert-me enjoys them and introvert-me, again, doesn’t believe they’ve done anything wrong to warrant being rude.

To make matters worse, introvert-me acknowledges positive qualities of the person and extrovert-me also worries about picking the first apple that falls from the tree (that is, extrovert-me doesn’t want to be satisfied when he doesn’t really know his options, if there’s better or worse).

And yet, both sides stubbornly stick to their opposing sides, offering forward arguments for why their side is right and the other’s side is wrong, exploiting the just-mentioned holes in the other’s philosophies.

And that’s what I wanted to write about. This hour and a half spent writing (and then another hour and a half editing and rewriting to transfer from notes to tumblr) has been pretty therapeutic on its own, and that’s without the fear of thinking about sharing this with someone else. Given that you’re reading this (and somehow got to the end, congrats! 🎉), I guess I somehow overcame that fear. In that case, introvert-me and extrovert-me applaud my nobility; but then it’s back to the fencing stances with them.