#but jester has destroyed that peaceful balance

[batfossil-fr]

someone take har/jest away from me. i can’t keep doing this to myself i have to stop scrying with it. i have 2 projects that need harlequin and 5 that need jester

[neon-chemicals]

Lets Talk Purplebloods 1/?

Okay! Hello everyone I wanted to take a minute to talk about my personal lore for Purplebloods! I have crafted a pyramid of their hierarchy and today we will be focused on the top two sections!

CW: Mention of Sex and Drugs!

The Messiahs

There are two deities in the religion most clowns follow. They are referred to mostly as a duo but there are subsections of the religion that worship or put forward more effort into one or the other.

They are represented most prominently by the Comedy and Tragedy masks, these are considered a religious symbol, alongside bicycle horns, bells, the spectrum of blood colors and traditional jester caps. A modernized way of representing the masks among most younger generations  is the :o) and :o( emoticons. Colors prominently associated with them are; black, gold, purple, white, and red. Most followers can be found sporting one or more of these colors. 

The separate entities are called many things, moreso representing concepts but these are the most common names

Mirth, Comedy, Sock, Hilarity and The One who Grins

Mayhem, Tragedy, Buskin, Fracas, and The One who Brings Blood

The balance between both messiahs is critical to the universe as a whole, a push and pull, yin and yang. The relationship between the entities is unknown and the representation of it has ebbed and flowed with time, where most sects or even individuals have their own views. Commonly they are considered: 

Enemies, locked in eternal combat

Lovers, in a constant state of ecstasy

Siblings, shifting between friendly and aggressive

One Being, Split in two and forever just out of reach of the other

The Messiahs are said to reside in a place referred to as The Dark Carnival, where righteous purplebloods who follow them faithfully will be brought when they pass on. In religious texts, it is often described as being brought into true enlightenment, peace and wholeness, set adrift on a carousel into the blackness of eternity, into The Messiahs’ domain of nothing but pure ecstasy and reverence. A nonstop carnival on the dark edges of the Universe.

The Messiahs are also worshiped in many different ways, the consumption of Faygo, snorting of Special Stardust and an indulgence in all things deep fried are common, representing the gifts The Messiahs themselves bestowed to the first purplebloods. Blood sacrifice is also widely practiced by most sects of the religion, in a quest to paint the walls of their holy sites with the entire spectrum of blood. Crumbling ruins on Alternia, destroyed in wars of the past show evidence that quite a few churches back in the day had the whole spectrum on their walls, but now the only remaining church to hold all twelve colors is on Karnival*.

Acts of community are a very normal form of reverence, purplebloods tend to stick together and help each other out in times of need, referencing how The Messiahs need to work in tandem to keep the balance. Purplebloods establish Carnivals, Circuses and Boardwalks all to stay close and live in a state of constant worship, performing for each other as much as for the messiahs,  just as their ancestors did. 

Sex and physical intimacy is a lesser spoken of but still widely practiced kind of prayer, either through quadrants, friends or congregations, working together to achieve a state of ecstasy exemplifies what The Messiahs want from their worshippers. Orgies and Swinging are typical especially off planet, but it is mostly limited to purples with other purples, or the occasional faithful of a different hue.

The Messiahs are also responsible for the tradition of face paint, used to mimic the patterns the first purples saw on the visages of The Messiahs when they were originally visited. There is an intense and delicate process of designing and applying your face paint, it is done very young, when wrigglers are without outside influence. They are provided with an assortment of 3 objects and depending on which ones they are drawn too three different scenarios occur: 

They are given their first palette and instructed to follow their soul when applying, this is when they select the object associated with individuality

They are sat in front of the Harlequin of their church and the Harlequin asks The Messiahs for a pattern, painting what they see on the wriggler, this is when they select the object representing spirituality

They are instructed to paint the pattern of their ancestor on their face, which have all been documented tediously by Ringmasters, this is when they select the object representing tradition

To be seen without your facepaint after your design is chosen is considered taboo and sacrilegious for anyone outside of long standing quadrants, select members of your congregation and is forgiven under situations involving external circumstances. However, only you should apply your paint, it is a prayer in the beginning of the day to paint on your design, and outside of outstanding circumstances, such as injuries or a disability, only you should be doing it. Letting someone, even a quadrant apply it, is considered absolutely abhorrent and an affront to The Messiahs, in some churches this is even a cullable offense.

The Messiahs are also responsible for selecting a Grand Highblood’s potential successor, there are many signs involved that show a troll’s potential to embody their word, and leaders everywhere are always on the lookout for a member showing the signs:

Mirthful disposition as a wriggler, but with an inherent talent for violence with their bare hands

An interest in the ancient texts and words directly from The Messiahs

Visions when consuming Stardust

Their vibes are just good

Selecting the wrong successor can often spell trouble for that era of the church, and set the very universe off kilter. A challenger however, is an element of spontaneity that The Messiahs greatly approve of, no matter the individual.

*Karnival is a colony that is specifically for Purplebloods, this will be elaborated on in a further post

Still with me? Well up next we have the good ol clope (Clown Pope)

The Grand Highblood

The Grand Highblood is the head of the entire religion, the clown pope, if you will. They can be appointed in one of three ways:

Traditional succession, a successor is chosen and trained for the position by the acting Grand Highblood

Traditional challenge, a purple who believes they will be a better Grand Highblood asks for a duel with the acting one, hand to hand, to the death, the winner claims the title. If the acting Grand Highblood refuses the challenge their position is forfeit.

In the rare event a Grand Highblood dies without a successor, or both the challenger and acting Grand Highblood die from injuries related to the duel, the next Grand Highblood is chosen via Nose Goes

Nose Goes is an ancient instinct baked into purplebloods as a whole through their inherent psychic connection via chucklevoodoos, when The Grand Highblood dies, within the next 24 hours if a successor is not appointed, all purplebloods above the age of 9 sweeps receive a psychic ping, notifying them of the start of Nose Goes, the last troll to touch their nose, is then the acting Grand Highblood.

The duties of a Grand Highblood are extensive,  tedious and exhausting, leading to many attempting to find a successor quickly to pawn off duties or retire faster. Their duties include but are not limited too:

Presiding over important court cases

Selecting new jesters if one dies without an appointed heir

Serving as a liaison between the monarchy and the church

Representing the values of the church 

Preaching the good word during holy days

Being responsible for organization and allocation of funds and festivities

The most comprehensive surviving documentation about Grand Highbloods lists about 10 trolls that have ever properly held the position, they are as follows from oldest to newest:

Spauld Keivie ‘The Foremost’

Avener Poppov ‘The Demoniac’

Grocki Telini ‘The Balanced’

Zennie Farvex ‘The Funereal’

Kurloz Makara ‘The Mirthful’

Grimal Vester ‘The Reticent’

Ivanar Patera ‘The Ruthless’

Brunhi Dotler ‘The Bloodied’

Quinad Disour ‘The Jubilant’

Sigmar Patera ‘The Stalwart’

Each Grand Highblood held the position for an average of 10,000 years, though some lasted longer or were much shorter lived than others.

A Grand Highblood can be removed from the position and replaced with a temporary counsel consisting of the four jesters in the event of an impeachment. An impeachment is required when The Grand Highblood isn’t performing to satisfaction and the four jesters agree to try them for their lack of action/attention/faith. All four jesters need to unanimously agree to the trial for it to proceed, an impeachment has never been considered for any Grand Highblood until Sigmar Patera*.

*This boy has featured and will feature further in @/stellarparallaxcomic check us out!

-

Well! that was a lot, hopefully you enjoyed reading my ramblings, I'll post the next part when its all finished up! Thanks!

[ferarum]

𝔐𝔞𝔯𝔶 𝔏𝔲𝔠𝔶 𝔔𝔲𝔦𝔫𝔷𝔢𝔩 𝔐𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔰

♣ S T A T I S T I C S   ♣  ―  ―  ―  ― the basic info:

nicknames. Lucy

date of birth / age. August 15, 22 years old

species. Human (enhenced)

gender. Cis woman (she / her)

orientation. Bisexual

  place of birth. Gotham City, USA

occupation. College student & superhero

education. General studies, but she's thinking of majoring in psychology

current location. Gotham City

  faceclaim. Emma Mackey / Chloe Grace Moretz

height. 1,73m

eyes. Light blue

hair. Blond, dyed pink on the tips

build. Lean and fit

other features. She has a good amount of scars from ballet and fighting

  alignment. True neutral

addictions. Alcohol

positive. Fun, adventurous, outgoing

negative. Reckless, morally gray, cunning

mental health. Drug addictions

languages. English

  alias. The Jester

powers. Ability stealing: with just one touch, Lucy can mimic anyone’s powers for a limited time. When she’s using the ability, the original owner of it is unable to use it too. The time limit depends on the strength of the target, the power and Lucy’s own mental strength

uniform. She chose pink, blue and purple as her main colors and her outfit is heavily inspired by her mother’s, with marked color blocks and a punkish vibe. She did incorporated a tutu on her clothing

style. Her playing style is fast and fierce, playing just unfair enough to stop her adversaries but not enough to be noticed by the referees. She uses her brains to find the opponents weak spots and use them when she’s playing.

  parents. Sherry Meadowes (neé Quinzel) & James Meadowes // Harleen Quinzel & The Joker (birth parents)

animals. she had a ferret named Torres, but he stayed at her mom's house

♣ B I O G R A P H Y   ♣  ―  ―  ―  ― the story:

TRIGGER WARNING: abuse, the joker

She’s the daughter of Harley Quinn & The Joker, but was raised by Harley’s sister, Sherry. So, Lucy was raised as a normal kid from a small town, who occasionally received visits from her “aunt Harley”. She had a peaceful and truly nice childhood. Not being raised in Gotham, she didn’t really know about “Harley Quinn”, but she knew that the city was pretty chaotic.

And that would be it, if Joker didn’t find out about her existence when she was 14.

After kidnapping her and telling her the truth, the clown threw her on the acid, just like he did with Harley, so she could be ‘part of the family’ & the plan was to raise her as one more minion, teaching her how to destroy the world & do what he said.

Instead of just messing with her head, the acid messed with her DNA and she woke up with powers, that she used to runaway from the Joker. Since she didn’t want to follow her biological parents footsteps but she was too hurt to go home after finding out she’d been lied to her whole life.

So she stayed in Gotham, using her powers to survive on her own. She was 16 when she decided that she would fight crime to appease some universal karma and balance all the destruction her parents have caused She’s known as The Jester (inspired by Harley’s first uniform) and when she touches someone, she can temporally steal their powers.

♣ V E R S E S   ♣  ―  ―  ―  ― the multiverse:

CRIME PRINCESS. She didn’t run from Joker, instead she embraced the madness and now she’s the same kind of mental, destructive and unstoppable villain her father is. Raised by her father, The Jester is known on the streets of Gotham for her destructive power and obsession with superhumans. She almost idolizes them in an unhealthy kind of way, mostly because she wants to steal their powers at least once to have fun with them.

INJUSTICE. The Joker is dead, but after Brainiac, Harley tells her that she’s her mother and Lucy start living with Harley & Poison Ivy (they married on Injustice 2 and i love it). In this verse, The Jester is an anti-hero, that really wants to do good and help her city, but it’s more than willing to take on darker paths to keep the world safe. She’s also very environmental focused and is used to help Poison Ivy in her plans.

TIME TRAVELER. The power of mimicking powers from other supers is useful, but it has its downfalls. Unknown, Lucy touched a metahuman with the power of dimension and time manipulation. The power changed her DNA and she immediately jumped into time. She can’t really control it and she tried to change the power but touching another metahuman, with no avail, it only added to her power set. Now she’s trapped with this strange power that she has no control off.

[blindrapture]

Track 4 from Summer Sucks, part 1. (Because we haven’t made any money, Bandcamp wouldn’t allow an upload of the full 34-minute track.) @rapturebones and I worked together hard on this one.

It’s time to watch the world burn. There’s a Clown named Eugene who has replaced the Pig King, and he intends on reaping the carnage. And there’s another Clown named Veles, a giant made of rock, who seeks an audience with Lucius Sunsetto to tell him some things about the apocalypse.

I: Here Comes The Sun Country glen with shouting men Growing star erases our Liquid lenis leaving only the Ruptured tenebrious loud thundercloud memoir:

RANGI (WHAT THE THUNDER SAYS):

Are you afraid? When we're together I can almost feel you shake. Let me cry for you, though my tears evaporate. Even if the light should destroy us, Wouldn't you... like that? Uh, hm, ahem.

II: The Wind’s An Invisible Jester You left home To satisfy your convic(pass)tion Shun pain, watch, trap it in ice Invisible Jester, come home. I see now, The hurt surrounds us all. To this extent, their flames are meaningless! Clowns falter 'fore impermanence. Invisible Jester, commence. Talk to the wind. When, how, why? White Jester, White Jester Talk to the wind.

Yes, I'm afraid When we are together. I'm afraid my pride forbade me from seeing Exposure to the light hardens victims

Here's a Clown His name's Eugene, eugenicist. "Hey Sunsetto," calling you home "Hey Sunsetto, won't you come home?" Shareholder With dividends in high places, you see. He claims he might be Death. "Hey Sunsetto," calling you home "Hey Sunsetto, you're coming home. Or else!"

III: Ready Your Engine, Eugene Oh, I am too tired for this.

EUGENE:

You're tired Hardwired And burning on flaming wings, money. You're tired Unsteady Overwhelmed You can't win, Pig Bruiser. Nerves fired Not ready There's no chance

ME:

Yes, I'm tired Hardwired Better keep up! Ready your engine, Eugene.

[Lucius kills Eugene.]

See? I'm tired Hardwired And still take down Any Clown.

IV: Ghost of Capitalisms Past So yeah, summer goes on. Archangel calculus, How infinitesimal! To go towards but never reach; How maddening to think you were once heresy!

Growing star closing in Melting cars on saucepan roads I know it's dynamo, not personal Still a sad show. Treading so slow Maybe when Aleph Null is full we'll see the afterglow? From bottom-up is impossible. Adiaphanous number

(VOICE OF) CHORUS:

Trapped in birth aging illness death In suffering, you're mine.

V: Kurentovanje III- Duration Of Inferno Seas flood with blood As Death slays War Rise, second sun Soon even blood will dry up

Somewhere Yggdrasil withers Until it's hard as stone.

VI: Watch For Rolling Rocks VELES:

Out of Yggdrasil a giant I am Veles, king of the rocks Come and sleep under the tree You'll see the workings of Society With Papa, mother under Eshu cenotaph asunder Sky bring horrors, make you wonder Meet with Rangi when comes thunder

Clowns won't bother you under the ground You'll be with your new family In restful slumber, peaceful Lay on your back, wait for landslide Summer comes round The sun comes down Earth is ablaze Mind your young eyes, don't hit your head Or mind your music tastes instead To the Supermarket Yggdrasil, Drop to your knees and pray for skill Pray for balance And pray consumers choose their meal

Sleep under the Earth September Clowns believe just this, remember: "Their anabasis comes at your expenses... Crush them."

ME:

O Goodnight, Yggdrasil Summer's too long for goodbyes But a goodnight may be wise O So goodnight, Yggdrasil Yeah, goodnight Yggdrasil Pray consumers choose their meal Else the Clowns will choose for us.

VELES:

By the third sun, mountains will bake Mighty clouds will eat the atmosphere and choke whatever remains, Leave Earth as toxic wanderer. Fourth cruel sun won't even grant that, Molten rock combust to plasma, Making Earth itself the fifth sun, Solar system hideous beast. Still the stars will not be done, The next two take our gravity, And by the time come is the last one, We will all become as one sun.

VII: Landslide Lay on your back We will all become as one (see Pt 2)

[abimee]

im so fascinated by you/me!!!! do you have any details on game/story mechanics? :D

oh is it time to share the revised story of YOU/ME since its been a year since the last telling. This spoils nothing if you consider events before the in-game date nonspoilers. Also I'm an unreliable narrator so if anything is true or bullshit to not spoil my game can only be realized once it's out ha

YOU/ME starts on the fjallo island, fjallo roughly meaning Hidding Mountains Island due to it's geography

The fjallo island is home to occupents created to resemble humans and animals, and is believed to have been shaped by the creation two children to be the perfect home to their creations. The gods then decided that the perfect home needed the perfect people, but knew humanity was bound to create error, so they then created a system that would balance the chaos and peace of humanity, known as the Moral System. The two children then each created a being, one out of peaceful waters and sand, and one out of stormy weather and smooth mud --- this made the Queens, Konsanus and Disonus. These two upheld perfect balance to the system and it's people, and were designed as the perfect lovers.

The children watched as they were the perfect mothers to their designs, and watched as their world came together.

One day, one of the children decided they wanted to live in this world of their creation and be amongst the love. The other child became scared,thinking their best friend was leaving them. They threatened that if their friend leaves to the world, they will create chaos and destroy all the good; in return, the other child said they'll create order and peace to combat their chaos. The two children thus shattered and entered the world.

For a long time it seemed the world was at peace and the Queens did their job. Small medical personel were being set up on the island to scope a recent uptick in a strange and untraceable sickness, but the patients were few and there was nothing to worry about. Another kingdom, the Comicals, requested asylum on their island after the creator continent became too crowded for them, and the Queens granted them land beyond the reflection of the puddles that appear on the South end. The Comicals thanked the Queens and moved into the puddle reflections.

At this time, the Queens began to entertain the idea of having a child, a next of kin that would embody the balance the queens brought except as a single, unified person.

Mimi and Knogler, the two trained medical aids on the island, oversaw this. Mimi, a skeleton, and Knogler, a mouse, encouraged this coming and believed the child would bring a new hope to the island.

However, Mimi is not entirely to be trusted. With the small outbreaks of illness, designated "The Decay", Mimi's girlfriend Daria had caught the infection, especially due to being weaker than one typically is. Daria and Mimi would scuffle over how much Mimi spends working (both at school and in the medical field) over being with Daria, and in return Mimi argues hes working to cure Daria so that he doesn't have to "spend the last precious time" she has. Daria notices how much Mimi has grown irritable and jumpy, and worries he's overworking himself ---- one day, she comes to his basement working space in his house in an attempt to pull him away for a few minutes. Mimi immediatley becomes agitated and attempts to throw Daria out, but who retaliates by grabbing a kitchen knife. Mimi manages it away however and ends up stabbing Daria.

In the Comical world, the princess IIIIIIII has become crowned as the queen, and the Comicals call for a celebration with the Fjallo kingdom. A court party is setup, and the Queens come down to see the event, bringing their own court and their magical court jester, Comica.

Maliia, the Comicals court jester, had recently been suffering nightmares, violent nightmares of uncontrollable power bestowed on her and ascending to the realm of a god, but brushes them off as ludicrous overimagimation due to being understimulated, as she had grown less of use in the court.

During the court party, Comica and Maliia werw to perform together and do magic tricks, as they are the only ones who can. Maliia suggests a new routine she's been wanting to do,but Comica objects and says practice is what makes magic safe, and they can't be reckless. Maliia agrees, but becomes rather drowsy during the wait to perform due to not sleeping well. When they do perform, all seems well, but Maliia begins to feel increasingly drowsy, and doses off mid-performance ---- when she suddenly snaps awake, she finds the court in chaos and Comica before her, her face entirely ripped off.

On the greater Continent, a riff in a marriage causes a young goat mother to flee with her surviving son to the fjallo islands, wounded. Maliia is sent to execution, Mimi begs for the god of time, Stopper, to reverse his actions on his girlfriend, Comica is forced under a new alias, and the Queens become anxious about the sudden rise in disorder.

Thankfully, a month amidst the chaos, the newchild is born to the queens. The fjallo island rejoices at the new era of balance, and hopes the child will restore the world to what it was.

But the next morning, when Disonus comes to gather the child from its room, she finds that it had passed away in the night, barely surving a day.

Nahan, the gardener and right hand helper to Disonus, attempts to console her, but Disonus, heartbroken by the loss of her child, flies out of the room, grabbing the coveted sword of mercy and fleeing the castle. She disappears before the news reaches Konsanus.

It only gets worse from then on. Konsanus announces to the kingdom the death of the child and the disappearance of Disonus, and the kingdom uproars at the news; people begin to call for the hunt and execution of Disonus, blaming her for the decay of the kingdom; others say Disonus should be welcomed back, and without her they'll only fall deeper. The divide in the people became severe, and then violent. Three days of mass war broke between the supporters, claiming a few casualties and many victims.

Eventually, Konsanus called for an Emergency Unrule ---- anybody who wants to live under the rule of Konsanus is to move inside the greater walls, and whoever wishes not to must move out of it. Konsanus supporters drove into the town behind the wall, while Disonus supporters moved South to hide beyond the mountains. Those mixed or uncertain stayed in the town, and Konsanus officially silence herself behind the walls of her castle.

She wanted to bring Disonus back, and decided to try for her own child. However, without Disonus, they could become tainted, so immediatley the newborn was placed behind a door in a room of nothing, not to be let out until the queens return.

11 years later, Konsanus falls ill to the Decay, and Disonus still hasn't returned. The child, You, is called before their mother after 11 years alone, and given the task: find Disonus, or never come back.

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E59

Wow, so coming off of a lean week, we get a lot of uh, punch, to the shipping totals. Wow. Wowie. Masterpost here. 

This week debuts our new Cockblocking Points program, which fills—or rather prevents from being filled—a hole in the shipping calculations up till now.

+20 to Fjord/Caduceus as Caduceus proves once again what a fantastic Charisma Partner he makes with Fjord as they work together in perfect sync to bring the giants to their side. Featuring 1) Fjord draping his arm around Caduceus (!!!) and 2) Caduceus initiating Fjord’s favorite “I work for Fjord” roleplay (!!!!!!!!!). Besides that, muchos complimentos on both sides, even if Caduceus’ pleasure with Fjord taking his side and saying “You’re usually the voice of caution” conveniently ignores how Fjord’s reckless actions rarely ever line up with what his cautious mouth says. Fjord making goopy eyes when Caduceus admits of his altruistic plans that he can “be on the soft end of things” and making something perilously close to a romantic declaration when he says, “I trust your heart, Caduceus. It’s in a good place.” And lest it be forgotten, Caduceus fucking saving Fjord’s life from Mosquito Man. Keep that cleric close, Fjord! Romance him if that’s what it takes!

+15 to Caduceus/Every Single NPC. As per usual, Caduceus’ classic fairy tale princess sweetness  and Common Courtesy earns the implicit trust of everyone within a ten mile radius—all the giants like him, and only him, absolutely no one else.

+4 to Beau/Sensing Bullshit as she is the only person who picks up on and seems concerned about how Caduceus seems to think this mountain clearing quest is related to his personal quest for……no discernible reason. Are we concerned about the vagueness? No? All right then. Something is off about that dude, even if he’s not secretly plotting to murder the M9 in the mountain caves.  

-2 to Yeza/Nott as Nott entertains about five billion separate fears over the eventual demise of her marriage and beats herself up over having locked the poor man (who just got out of prison btw) in a hotel room and ditched him. Point loss ameliorated as Caleb musters All The Powers of Friendship to lift her spirits with a firm hand, telling her sure, she might be a bit of an adventure addict, but he is as sure as he can be that Yeza truly loves her now and always, that he, Caleb, is glad that she’s here, and that thinking in the macro she can do whatever she likes with no guilt because she is Good, and they are all doing Good together (a moving speech also earning +6 to Caleb/Hopebringer) 

+0 to Jester/Caleb. Pluses: Caleb giving Jester a risque locket, claiming it’s magical and “gives you access to balloon porn” just to make her smile. Caleb’s absolute faith in Jester’s swoleness in thinking she can absolutely just crack a chest open like a nutcracker who needs finesse? Jester thinking of Caleb first when she thinks of who needs healing #ItPaysToBeADamselInDistress. Unfortunately, all these points are flushed down the drain when Caleb coldly exiles Jester from the Tiny Hut when she gets the runs. She couldn’t have stayed inside, but you could have been nicer about it—she’s already suffering! 

+0 to Jester/Yasha On the one hand, it was very cute of Yasha to try to share her favorite food with Jester while risking the ire of the giants, very cute of Jester to try to bond with Yasha over this excellent tasting land food. But all point gains were forcibly expelled once Jester got the runs. The universe punishes those who tread too close to the Yasha ship.

+2 to Nott/Jester The word around the lab is that secretly Jester just wants to be a Knight In Shining Armor, which is why one of the most effective ways to gain points with her is to a) buy her shiny armor and b) allow her to protect you as a true KISA would. Today featuring: 1) Jester channeling her inner Aladdin with a “Do you trust me?” and Romantic Proffering of a Hand to Nott before whisking her away to the top of a tower, and 2) Jester hoisting Nott up by the waist so Nott can more efficiently murder their enemies.

+3 to Caleb/Cat Shaped Creatures as he debuts another sexy cat paw spell to dramatically tear down a gate for his grand Cat Person entrance to the battlefield. Was sadly prevented from showing off the full murdering capabilities of the cat paw, however. Points taken away for covering Frumpkin in mud For Stealth, which pisses Frumpkin off.

+1 to Jester/Soorna as Jester awkwardly tries to flirt Soorna into friendliness,petting her and complimenting her bald head which looks “really nice and stuff”

+20 to Fjord/Detective Work as Fjord’s investigation yields 1) exactly the kind of humiliating material they need to absolutely destroy the foreman, and 2) A fuck ton of healing potions! Including a greater! Very sexy cool of him, as Jester very perceptively notes. Unfortunately hasn’t started investigating for a riftmaking device—yet

+1 to Fjord/Caleb as once more their tag-teaming over Detective Work yields amazing (and this time, saucy!) results. Fjord supporting Caleb’s hopeful plan to bring the giants along with them and leave them to die in the mountain if things take a turn for the worse. Their minds—they think alike.

-3 to The Mighty Nein/Boxes as neither Nott, Yasha, nor Jester (on her first try) were able to open the box with the Humiliation Material—it takes some creative artistry from Jester to manage it.

+20 to Beau/Jester as Beau proves that true love is there for you in sickness and in health, being the only one of the Mighty Nein to sit with Jester through her spider-meat induced illness, holding her hair out of her face, dealing gently and uncomplainingly with frankly an incredible amount of grossness which automatically makes Beau a shipping hero and a hero in all future beaujester sickfic. The pair of them getting equally psyched up about the pornographic Humiliation Material, with Beau requesting a dramatic reading of the letter from Jester (Caleb sucks at voices anyway). Beau also continuing to embody the shipping spirit of Molly by invoking the Slap/Punch of Love to return her love interest back to consciousness. Not even an Attempted Cockblocking from Nott insisting Beau is an enemy manages to put a damper on the moment. A+ UnStraight Out of Fanfic Material.

+23 to Fjord/Jester as, although Fjord rolls his eyes and tells Jester to leave the moorbounders for once, earning a death threat from our dear cleric, he cleverly forestalls massive point loss by bringing up the “L” word. Cute, mischievous, also kind of horrible on the flirting front (as evidenced by annoyed head shake from our dear cleric) because you need to jive with Jester’s love of animals if you want any chance at a long-term relationship. However, the moorbounder conversation earns all the points, with Fjord and Jester having a lovely disagreement over which of them should get the healing potion because they love each other so much (fuck the rest of the M9, potential love interests Caleb and Beau included). Fjord trying and failing to pretend that he cares about animals, misidentifying the type of creature Yarnball is two times and asking adorably dumb questions about her in an attempt to Bond With The Jester. He’s right though—he is being disarming. Minor point loss for the awkwardness nearly giving me the spins, and +2 to Caleb/Cockblocking for his pornographic jewelry gift thoroughly ruining Fjord’s moment with Jester. +10 to Mosquito Man/Cockblocking for preventing Jester from Knight in Shining Armor-ing Fjord with a lollipop to Mosquito Man skull, and making her pass out instead. Fainting Maiden is the wrong archetype!

+1 to Caleb/Fjord/Jester as Jester nags Caleb into telling her whether the balloon porn necklace is magical, and Fjord gets increasingly cute at her in his attempts to get her to settle down and leave poor Caleb in peace to translate. The thought was lovely but unnecessary—Caleb can tune all you motherfuckers out whenever he so desires.

+5 to Beau/Listening because despite claiming not to be listening in on your conversation, she can definitely repeat back word for word everything that was said. Not sure that this is what Dairon had in mind, but…

+19 to Caleb/Caduceus “What about that Caduceus though??” Caleb asks with the same “Wowie wowwow” tone he used while charmed by a succubus a few days previously. This man, absolutely starstruck by Caduceus’ ability to be such a sweetheart he can win over complete enemies to their side (bonus if he did it with dick jokes, Attempted Cockblocking from Nott and Beau notwithstanding), all while Caleb was busy thinking of the most efficient way to murder em all. Staring at Caduceus, stunned over his everything, agreeing to his plan because That’s What Caduceus Wants To Do. Caleb doing That Thing He Does where he aggressively bosses someone into being the Leader, because Caleb is not the Leader, he just Commands everyone to listen to the Real Leader—this week snatching the title away from Fjord who has hoarded the privilege previously, and bestowing it on Caduceus, all “we will all look to you,” at him. Saying “you can’t argue with results” which is as good as a love confession from Mr. McPractical, Need-Goals-Met. Caleb finding an excellent excuse to get handsy by picking the firbolg to grab onto while scouting through Frumpkin. Not to mention, Caleb and Caduceus finding a surprisingly compatible decision-making balance between Caleb’s Cutthroat “We Can Always Murder Our Allies If We Need To” pragmatism and Caduceus’ Sweet But Not Overly Invested “Everyone Can Win Here” diplomacy. These two definitely like each other’s opinions and decisions a hell of a lot….

+40 to Soorna/Revenge as despite being a druid she manages a HDYWTDT on her demonic foe Without! Casting! A! Single! Spell! It’s… hot.

+10 to Sam Riegel/His watch as it attempts to save him from a heart attack. Honestly.......same.

[djinn-and-djuice]

guess what? it’s more widofjord. this time featuring haircuts! what can I say, I’m a sucker for mutual pining and non-sexual intimacy. set during the trip back to Nicodranas between ep 47 and 48. (ao3 link)

[no spoilers, makes only vague mention of canon]

two bits

~*~

They don't talk, really; Caleb needs to concentrate and Fjord doesn't want to move too much. Nott's dagger isn't the best razor, sharp though it may be. The silence is comfortable, and they both enjoy listening to the happenings on the ship outside of their quiet oasis.

Having Caleb's undivided attention is almost a physical sensation. Fjord is used to scrutiny, used to hating it and shrinking from it, but this is different. As laid bare as he feels, the fact that Caleb is the one doing the looking is pleasant, even comfortable. Part of him is flattered, almost shy at the fact that Caleb will remember this moment forever.

He’d initially intended on having Beau help clean up the sides, given her experience maintaining her own haircut, but she’d been busy making the rounds with the crew to check in on the state of morale. Caleb had found him wandering the ship at loose ends and asked him what he was looking for. So now Caleb is here, shirtsleeves rolled past his elbows, somewhat paradoxical next to the bandages still wrapped up his arms, doing a damn good job cleaning him up.

Caleb's hands are careful and deft, brushing the long hair over the top and separating it from the shaggy sides. Once or twice he pauses to stroke it, raking his blunt nails against Fjord's scalp. It's not dissimilar to how he scratches Frumpkin, and Fjord understands why that cat purrs so damn loudly now. He almost falls asleep under Caleb's ministrations.

"Come on," Caleb murmurs, and if Fjord didn't know better he'd swear there was the hint of a laugh at the edge of his voice, "stay with me here."

"I'm trying, I promise," he replies.

"Alright," Caleb gently tilts his head around, guiding Fjord to look down at the floor while he cuts the back. He makes quick work of it, either that or Fjord zones out again and comes back as Caleb is brushing the stray hairs to the floor and taking Fjord's head in two gentle hands.

"Last bit, unless you want me to trim the top," he says, brushing everything into alignment. Fjord feels his fingers stall in the patch of salt at his temple, rubbing a small circle among the grey hairs.

"If you don't mind, could probably do with a trim there as well. Keep me looking ship-shape."

There's a lot they haven't discussed. Conversations that keep getting pushed aside in favor of more pressing concerns.

"Will do."

This is the first moment of quiet they've had in what feels like a month, and Fjord doesn't want to disturb it. The drag of the blade picks up again, and his thoughts simmer. All the words he wants to say are sitting on his tongue, but he forces them back for now. He wants to ask about Caleb’s plans, if he has anyone in the Empire he’s worried about now that the war has gotten worse, how he feels about everything that’s happened at sea so far. He wants counsel, wants to get some sense of where they stand.

He's noticed Caleb for a while; first as an intriguing unknown quantity, then as a source of arcane knowledge. More recently, however, things have shifted. Caleb has turned from a shady traveling companion to a trusted comrade and friend. Fjord has become keenly aware that, despite Caleb's claims to the contrary, behind the brusque and withdrawn shell lies a sincerely kind and charming man. And, well. Fjord isn't about to pretend that Caleb isn't handsome, under the dust.

Caleb brushes the stray trimmings back with a gentle hand and Fjord tries to keep from leaning into it too obviously.

"Hang on, let me just find some scissors. I'll be right back." He pats Fjord's shoulder and is out of the cabin without another word. 

Fjord is seized by the sudden urge to bury his face in his hands and groan. Instead, he brushes his fingers over the freshly shaved sides and thinks. He doesn't want to upset this fragile balance they've found, but he's on his last nerve. The trouble is that for as comfortable as he seems to be with physical closeness, Caleb is powerfully skittish; and Fjord has no damn clue how he's going to react to this sort of thing. As much as he talks about "calculated risks" and seems willing to throw his lot in with this party for better or worse, he's not too keen on getting personal. Assuming Caleb would want to get personal with him is a leap he’s not sure he wants to risk.

And something like this would be very personal indeed.

Caleb comes back then, and Fjord twists in his seat to see him frowning at a pair of beat-up iron scissors.

"Something wrong?" Fjord asks.

"These are all that we had on board, but they’re terribly dull," Caleb says, and looking close, Fjord can see some decently sized nicks in the blade.

Before he can ask if Caleb has some sort of plan, he watches as Caleb props the scissors open with one hand. With the other, he pinches a blade between his fingers and slides them along the length of it. Fjord sees how the scissors shine with new life in the wake of this gesture, and it hits him that Caleb sharpened and repaired the blades with nothing more than a bit of magic and his bare hands. It's a casual display of delicate finesse and sheer arcane power, and Fjord’s mouth goes a little dry.

"So, just tidy it up?" Caleb asks as he tests the motion of the scissors, and Fjord takes a moment to realize he has to answer.

"Oh, uh- yes please." He collects himself a bit more. "That was mighty impressive."

It's Caleb's turn to be thrown for a loop now, and Fjord is treated to the sight of a blush dusting over his usually pale face. It's adorable.

"Just a bit of basic transmutation," he says, ducking his head and moving to stand directly behind Fjord.

 "All the same, it's quite a skill," he says as he lets Caleb move his head to the angle he needs.

Caleb just hums in reply, which Fjord counts as a win. He sets to trimming, which is a more involved task than shaving. Caleb flits around Fjord, checking lines and making sure everything is even. Making conversation is easier, though, without a dagger behind his ear.

"How did you learn to do this?"

Caleb huffs softly, another not-quite laugh. "I used to cut quite a sharp figure in my youth."

Fjord believes it, too. He imagines what Caleb would look like now, with his hair cut and his scruff trimmed. He remembers how Caleb made himself look, that night they met Jester’s mother.

"I bet you were quite a looker," Fjord says. Those words he's been trying to hold back slip through his teeth and before he even knows what he's doing he says, "You're certainly one now."

The scissors pause mid-cut, and he sees Caleb's free hand freeze in his peripheral vision.

"You're just saying that because I have a pair of razor-sharp scissors next to your temple."

"I assure you I'm not," Fjord says, trying to snag control back over the situation, and the gentle snips resume. He can't see Caleb's face, which makes this both easier and harder to say. "I remember how you cleaned up, back in Nicodranas."

Caleb swings around to Fjord's front, to trim the not-quite-bangs he's been growing out. His focus is intense, but settled on the task at hand, and decidedly not making eye contact. His face is red as a brand.

"And I mean that," Fjord goes on, looking at Caleb's scarlet ear rather than his face. "Been meaning to tell you, but...well. Haven't really had the chance."

Caleb makes a couple more decisive snips of Fjord's hair, sets the scissors down and crouches to meet Fjord's seated eye level.

He stares at Fjord then, an intense searching gaze; like he's trying to see if Fjord is actually telling the truth. Whatever he sees there seems to satisfy him, and he reaches out to brush Fjord's hair back into place. It's a gentle gesture, even tender, at odds with the wrinkle in his brow.

“Is that all you’d been meaning to tell me?” Caleb asks, cocking his head.

There's a weight to that sentence that Fjord wasn't expecting. Fjord hears the meaning behind it, or at least he thinks he does. It almost feels like they're speaking in code, or thieves' cant. He's only working with half the codex, and any mistake would sink him. Asking to speak plainly would destroy the delicate balance, so all he can do is tread carefully.

“One of the things,” he says. He makes a gamble, and reaches a hand out to Caleb. He waits for a long second before Caleb’s hand settles into his and holds it. His hand is warm and calloused, and his long fingers lace together with Fjord’s.

"You are quite handsome yourself," Caleb says, his voice low, tentative almost. "I feel you don't need me to tell you that, though."

"It means more though, coming from you."

“Does it?” It’s not quite a question, and Caleb is looking at him a bit like Fjord is the puzzling one, like Caleb is the one worried and not quite sure where he stands.

The thought that he and Caleb have been dancing around each other this whole time, standing in the exact same position but somehow opposite, boggles him. The entire time, he’d thought his feelings would be, at best, unreturned.

“Yeah,” he says, trying to hide the shake in his voice at the sudden realization, “it really does.”

Apparently things could occasionally turn out better than he’d hoped. He grips Caleb’s hand a little tighter, dares to lean in a little closer.

“Anything else you need?” Caleb asks, and the smile on his face is a rare one, so gentle and peaceful, and Fjord would do anything to keep that smile on his face.

“Well, he says, tilting his head a bit, “There was one thing, if it’s not an imposition.”

Caleb’s eyes are impossibly blue. “I think I have some idea,” he says, “no imposition at all.”

His free hand comes up and traces along the line of Fjord’s jaw, pulling him in. The kiss is soft, sweet and tentative. When they part Caleb is staring at him again; that feeling of focus, of Caleb committing the moment to memory, pulls him in again for a second kiss, then a third.

There are plans to be made, and things they need to discuss before they get to port. But they don’t need to talk just yet. For now, they’ve said enough.

[ferarum]

𝔐𝔞𝔯𝔶 𝔏𝔲𝔠𝔶 𝔔𝔲𝔦𝔫𝔷𝔢𝔩 𝔐𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔰

♣ S T A T I S T I C S   ♣  ―  ―  ―  ― the basic info:

nicknames. Lucy

date of birth / age. August 15, 22 years old

species. Human (enhenced)

gender. Cis woman (she / her)

orientation. Bisexual

  place of birth. Gotham City, USA

occupation. College student & superhero

education. General studies, but she's thinking of majoring in psychology

current location. Gotham City

  faceclaim. Emma Mackey / Chloe Grace Moretz

height. 1,73m

eyes. Light blue

hair. Blond, dyed pink on the tips

build. Lean and fit

other features. She has a good amount of scars from ballet and fighting

  alignment. True neutral

addictions. Alcohol

positive. Fun, adventurous, outgoing

negative. Reckless, morally gray, cunning

mental health. Drug addictions

languages. English

  alias. The Jester

powers. Ability stealing: with just one touch, Lucy can mimic anyone’s powers for a limited time. When she’s using the ability, the original owner of it is unable to use it too. The time limit depends on the strength of the target, the power and Lucy’s own mental strength

uniform. She chose pink, blue and purple as her main colors and her outfit is heavily inspired by her mother’s, with marked color blocks and a punkish vibe. She did incorporated a tutu on her clothing

style. Her playing style is fast and fierce, playing just unfair enough to stop her adversaries but not enough to be noticed by the referees. She uses her brains to find the opponents weak spots and use them when she’s playing.

  parents. Sherry Meadowes (neé Quinzel) & James Meadowes // Harleen Quinzel & The Joker (birth parents)

animals. she had a ferret named Torres, but he stayed at her mom's house

♣ B I O G R A P H Y   ♣  ―  ―  ―  ― the story:

TRIGGER WARNING: abuse, the joker

She’s the daughter of Harley Quinn & The Joker, but was raised by Harley’s sister, Sherry. So, Lucy was raised as a normal kid from a small town, who occasionally received visits from her “aunt Harley”. She had a peaceful and truly nice childhood. Not being raised in Gotham, she didn’t really know about “Harley Quinn”, but she knew that the city was pretty chaotic.

And that would be it, if Joker didn’t find out about her existence when she was 14.

After kidnapping her and telling her the truth, the clown threw her on the acid, just like he did with Harley, so she could be ‘part of the family’ & the plan was to raise her as one more minion, teaching her how to destroy the world & do what he said.

Instead of just messing with her head, the acid messed with her DNA and she woke up with powers, that she used to runaway from the Joker. Since she didn’t want to follow her biological parents footsteps but she was too hurt to go home after finding out she’d been lied to her whole life.

So she stayed in Gotham, using her powers to survive on her own. She was 16 when she decided that she would fight crime to appease some universal karma and balance all the destruction her parents have caused She’s known as The Jester (inspired by Harley’s first uniform) and when she touches someone, she can temporally steal their powers.

♣ V E R S E S   ♣  ―  ―  ―  ― the multiverse:

CRIME PRINCESS. She didn’t run from Joker, instead she embraced the madness and now she’s the same kind of mental, destructive and unstoppable villain her father is. Raised by her father, The Jester is known on the streets of Gotham for her destructive power and obsession with superhumans. She almost idolizes them in an unhealthy kind of way, mostly because she wants to steal their powers at least once to have fun with them.

INJUSTICE. The Joker is dead, but after Brainiac, Harley tells her that she’s her mother and Lucy start living with Harley & Poison Ivy (they married on Injustice 2 and i love it). In this verse, The Jester is an anti-hero, that really wants to do good and help her city, but it’s more than willing to take on darker paths to keep the world safe. She’s also very environmental focused and is used to help Poison Ivy in her plans.

TIME TRAVELER. The power of mimicking powers from other supers is useful, but it has its downfalls. Unknown, Lucy touched a metahuman with the power of dimension and time manipulation. The power changed her DNA and she immediately jumped into time. She can’t really control it and she tried to change the power but touching another metahuman, with no avail, it only added to her power set. Now she’s trapped with this strange power that she has no control off.

[blindrapture]

also #ThrowbackFrihorse to this short little ditty. Summer’s come and gone by now, but this song fucking sticks. This song is what Summer Sucks is all about. From the start to the finish, this is my best editing work and some of our best writing.

I’m gonna post the lyrics here because why the fuck not, I can be proud of my own work.

I: Here Comes The Sun Country glen with shouting men Growing star erases our Liquid lenis leaving only the Ruptured tenebrious loud thundercloud memoir:

RANGI (WHAT THE THUNDER SAYS): Are you afraid? When we're together I can almost feel you shake. Let me cry for you, though my tears evaporate. Even if the light should destroy us, Wouldn't you... like that? Uh, hm, ahem.

II: The Wind’s An Invisible Jester You left home To satisfy your convic(pass)tion Shun pain, watch, trap it in ice Invisible Jester, come home. I see now, The hurt surrounds us all. To this extent, their flames are meaningless! Clowns falter 'fore impermanence. Invisible Jester, commence. Talk to the wind.

When, how, why? White Jester, White Jester Talk to the wind. Yes, I'm afraid When we are together. I'm afraid my pride forbade me from seeing Exposure to the light hardens victims

Here's a Clown His name's Eugene, eugenicist. "Hey Sunsetto," calling you home "Hey Sunsetto, won't you come home?" Shareholder With dividends in high places, you see. He claims he might be Death. "Hey Sunsetto," calling you home "Hey Sunsetto, you're coming home. Or else!"

III: Ready Your Engine, Eugene Oh, I am too tired for this.

EUGENE: You're tired Hardwired And burning on flaming wings, money. You're tired Unsteady Overwhelmed You can't win, Pig Bruiser. Nerves fired Not ready There's no chance

ME: Yes, I'm tired Hardwired Better keep up! Ready your engine, Eugene.

[Lucius kills Eugene.]

See? I'm tired Hardwired And still take down Any Clown.

IV: Ghost of Capitalisms Past So yeah, summer goes on.

Archangel calculus, How infinitesimal! To go towards but never reach; How maddening to think you were once heresy!

Growing star closing in Melting cars on saucepan roads I know it's dynamo, not personal Still a sad show. Treading so slow Maybe when Aleph Null is full we'll see the afterglow? From bottom-up is impossible.

Adiaphanous number

(VOICE OF) CHORUS: Trapped in birth aging illness death In suffering, you're mine.

V: Kurentovanje III- Duration Of Inferno Seas flood with blood As Death slays War Rise, second sun Soon even blood will dry up

Somewhere Yggdrasil withers Until it's hard as stone.

VI: Watch For Rolling Rocks

VELES: Out of Yggdrasil a giant I am Veles, king of the rocks Come and sleep under the tree You'll see the workings of Society With Papa, mother under Eshu cenotaph asunder Sky bring horrors, make you wonder Meet with Rangi when comes thunder

Clowns won't bother you under the ground You'll be with your new family In restful slumber, peaceful Lay on your back, wait for landslide

Summer comes round The sun comes down Earth is ablaze Mind your young eyes, don't hit your head Or mind your music tastes instead To the Supermarket Yggdrasil, Drop to your knees and pray for skill Pray for balance And pray consumers choose their meal

Sleep under the Earth September Clowns believe just this, remember: "Their anabasis comes at your expenses... Crush them."

ME: O Goodnight, Yggdrasil Summer's too long for goodbyes But a goodnight may be wise O So goodnight, Yggdrasil Yeah, goodnight Yggdrasil Pray consumers choose their meal Else the Clowns will choose for us.

VELES: By the third sun, mountains will bake Mighty clouds will eat the atmosphere and choke whatever remains, Leave Earth as toxic wanderer. Fourth cruel sun won't even grant that, Molten rock combust to plasma, Making Earth itself the fifth sun, Solar system hideous beast. Still the stars will not be done, The next two take our gravity, And by the time come is the last one, We will all become as one sun.

VII: Landslide Lay on your back We will all become as one Wait for landslide What other choice do I have? Actually... I can think of just one thing: Ask the Clowns to dance. Predator, I'm not afraid.

Atop Mount Meru, He reclaims the thirty-third power for the Clowns. Power to erase all evidence, Transcend and escape samsara.

CANIO: There's something higher than God, Beyond form Neither perception nor lack of perception

He longs to define the shape of Shaping He doesn't see me climb the mountain

My first fragment returns from the Chaos, A spring in his step. He has conquered. I open his ears, and he joins the dance that never ends. I send him on his way.

Canio ain't happy.

CANIO: Messing with the balance!

ME: Ah, but I'm not done Pierrot, Canio, or whatever your name is. And then the second falls out of the sky. They found their name: "I'm Sunsetto." I hate to lie, that's not a surprise. Anyway, they join the dance. There was no Conquest, Famine or Death, was there? Just a planet of shades' lament.

CANIO: If you are quite finished, I've got business to do. You know I won't dance? Tarantella's not for me but you.

So he snaps his fingers and he's now a mockingbird Flies away and leaves me here without another word

VIII: The Wordless Sunset INSTRUMENTAL

IX: Remember Sunset

And the world goes dark But it's odd, feel the water rise.

The wind picks up, a sonata It's enough to vibrate the water And if I hold my body still I can just about make out the words:

"It's time to go, we begin again. And this time, no more supermarket; The Clowns will have a better task."

X: The Grand Reopening Gardens all across the Earth are green As up comes a new sun But I'm dancing at the roots of a new Yggdrasil And I still can't stop

The shops open again and no one goes in. The well of destiny: Puddle in the spring.