#but ive also had two (2) dreams where i watched spiderman 4 and it was bad

[ducktollers]

spiderman hyperfixation is so fun cuz ill read a comic before sleeping 1) to think abt smth other than existence and 2) bc they r so boring with so many tiny words its instant sleepiness and THEN i have spiderman dreams that i cannot remember at all

[hidinggal]

I posted 906 times in 2021

23 posts created (3%)

883 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 38.4 posts.

I added 30 tags in 2021

#supernatural - 5 posts

#kang the conqueror - 4 posts

#loki spoilers - 3 posts

#supernatural last episode - 3 posts

#loki (marvel) - 3 posts

#stranger things day - 3 posts

#stranger things - 3 posts

#marvel - 2 posts

#destiel - 2 posts

#loki laufeyson - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 100 characters

#old man sams party city wig is stuck in my dreams and ive had nightmares about it for an entire week

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

4 notes • Posted 2021-01-28 18:42:56 GMT

#4

Happy will byers stranger things day

5 notes • Posted 2021-11-06 19:20:52 GMT

#3

Stranger Things 4 is further away than Spiderman FFH and it still has more promo

6 notes • Posted 2021-11-06 18:34:38 GMT

#2

they made me like kang to kill him and then hes gonna come back and potentially attempt to kill everyone

10 notes • Posted 2021-07-15 02:17:38 GMT

#1

Bruce's Bat Baby

This is a story I wrote about this post I saw this is my take on the Bruce part.

Bruce and I had met shortly after he had adopted Dick Grayson and quickly fell in love with him and everything about the Wayne heir. We got engaged around the time he adopted Cassandra Cain by this time Jason Todd had lived and died and lived again and the most recent Robin was Tim Drake. I went out most nights I also preferred to stay in and work the coms with Barbara Gordon. Then came Stephanie Brown she was a surprise to they the least but she wasn't a shock like Damian was to the Bat family. Bruce had a biological son. Sure we weren't married but we already had all these kids, it hadn't occurred to me that he might want kids with me. Two years later we got married. We were at a calm and then the conversation of us having kids came back up two months after we got back from out honey moon.

I was sitting on the bed getting ready to crawl under the covers when Bruce came in and looked me in the eyes, “What about another kid?” 

“Who’d did you find this time?” I asked wondering if he had found another kid on the side of the street, “Someone else try to steal the tires off the bat mobile.” I crawled across the bed, shoving my feet under the blankets and then the rest of my body. Bruce laid down beside me on top of the blankets, I cocked my head, “What?”

He smiled at me, kissed me on the head and then turned off the lights and the conversation wasn't brought up again. 

But two weeks later we had a gala event all the kids went a few of the titans came too, me and Bruce spent most of the night helping Lois and Clark on an article. That night Bruce and I had one too many drinks, we woke up that morning tangled in blankets with Bruce's alarm going off. 

He covered me up and kissed me on the head before he left for work, I had the day off. Dick came over from an off shift and after I got showered and changed he got into bed with me and we watched movies while Cassie, Steph, Damian , and Tim were all in school Barbra had work as a librarian. Luke and Duke also had work. So while Alfred cleaned the house Dick and I watched old movies and ate popcorn, Ace came to join us. 

Dick fell asleep with his head on my shoulder and I think I fell asleep too because when I woke up to Jason who spent the day doing whatever taking the photo of the two of us, he saw I was awake and without having to say anything he got into bed laying down next to me and grabbing the remote and choosing the next movie. When I woke up again, Dick was gone and so was Jason in there place was Cassie and Tim who were crossed legged at the end of the bed Damian was curled up asleep, all three of them in their school uniforms. 

Eventually we got up and moved to the dining room where I made the four of us lunch Alfred wasn't too happy but he cleaned up. 

A few days had passed and I was at work at Wayne Enterprises sitting in my office when suddenly a wave of nausea rushed over me. I raced to my private bathroom off from my office and threw up. I sat down on the floor with my head in my hands as another wave hit me. 

I didn't tell anyone about that. The sickness began to happen in the morning and Bruce caught on. For the first three or four days I had managed to get out of bed into the bathroom throw up and shower and change, but today Bruce followed me to the bathroom and held my hair back without a word. His large and calloused hands massaged my back as I leaned forward and heaved. When I was done I leaned into his embrace, he had a wet washcloth and wiped my face with it, folding it over he put in on my head as I caught my breath. “How long has this been going on?” Bruce left the washcloth on my head, i leaned my head back and stared at the ceiling, Bruce intertwined his fingers around me. 

“A few days.” I went to lean forward and stand up but him hands caught me and with a wet slap the washcloth hit the floor. “Let me up.” it was a quiet whisper those last three words, “Its just the flu.”

“The flu?” He asked as I leaned forward away from his becoming embrace. Bruce placed one hand on my waist keeping me down and one on my forehead, I brought my hands up to his and kept the coolness of his skin on my head. “You're burning up.”  He began to make slow movements to stand, “Lets get you into bed.” with one arm on my back and one under my legs he picked me up and carried me to the bed. “ill call you off work and ill tell Alfred to make you breakfast in bed.”

“Go to your meeting” He kissed me on the cheek,

 “Ill have Dick check up on you when he gets back.” Bruce leaves for work knowing that after his shift today he wont be going on patrol, he will be crawling into bed with me. 

A few minutes later, Alfred walks into the room, I'm sitting up ready for a breakfast tray, and he sets it down, overtop my legs the first thing i do is unroll my napkin and a pregnancy test falls into my hands, I look up at Alfred with my mouth open in shock, ”Master Bruce told me your symptoms, it could just be the flu but it could be a child.” I look away from him and look down at the light blue and purple stick, “Now close your jaw you'll catch a fly, Mistress Anne.”

I utter a quick thanks before he leaves the room and closes the door, I stare at the stick i left on the mattress next to me, outside the door I hear Alfred tell the kids I'm sick and not to bother me before school. I can hear Jason doing the crossword on the bench in the hall outside of my room, my eyes never stray from the stick until I move the tray and head into the bathroom. I pee on the stick and sit on the floor with a timer on my phone set for two minutes. 

Me and Bruce always had a family when we started dating he had Dick and I was here when he got everyone else, his own children, Gordon's daughter, i was here when the accidents happened, Babs lost her ability to walk and when Jason died. I was here for them, so maybe if that stick says what i think it says they will all be there for me, I've been apart of this family for so long that sometimes it feels like because they all have the hero thing and yea I do it to but they do it more often and they all have that bonding of shared trauma and because I was raised in a middle class family, I will never have what Bruce and the kids have. My phone begins to buzz without looking I click the phone off and stand up. I look at the little plus sign on the stick. I get in the show and change into new pajamas and by the time I'm coming back into my room to hid the stick in my bedside table, the breakfast tray is gone. 

After tucking the stick away on my bedside table I walk out of my room to the kitchen where Dick and Jason are arguing, they both stop when they see me, “Don't stop on my account.”

I open a cabinet but due to the fact that I'm normally waring heels when i'm out of my room and not dark pink bunny slippers I couldn't reach the crackers, Dick saw and without hesitation he grabbed it for me. He then put a hand on my head, “Fevers gone, how ya feeling?” 

“Thank you,” I pull the box of crackers out of his hand and head to another set of cabinets to grab the peanut butter, “I'm feeling better.” Trying to contain the smile on my face as I pulled the butter knife out of a drawer. I sat down at the table and the two of them sat with me, “What were you two fighting about?”

The two of them sit at the counter with me and begin to rant about what happened on patrol last night, we laugh together and the moment Alfred sees me he lets me finish eating before he ushers me back to bed, both Jason and Dick wish me good luck as Alfred tucks me in, the two of them go back out on patrol. 

I sit in bed with Ace until Bruce comes home, His shoulders are tense so when he sits on the edge of the bed I crawl over to him and begin giving him a shoulder rub. “How are you feeling, Dick said the fevers gone.”

I smile, “Better.” I begin to crawl to my bedside table and I pull the purple and white stick with the faded plus sign out I set it down and go back to rubbing his shoulders. “Turns out it wasn't the flu.”

“Hmm” Bruce just leans into my massage, “What was it? A cold?”

“No” I pull back and grab the stick i then wrap my arms around him putting the plus in his line of sight. “I think we should go to the doctor before we start telling people,” Bruce grabs the stick out of my hands and stands up before turning to look at me, “I know its a lot, I think Alf-” Bruce has the biggest smile on his face, he puts his hands on waist and spins me around the room.

He sets me on the ground, one of my slippers flew off, he kisses me hard, keeping that cheeky grin of his, “Ill call the doctor, we’ll drop the kids off at school, Jason and Dick will patrol again, we will go out to lunch than  if its true.” He kisses me again, “We will have a family dinner in a few days.” I'm not sure how long we stood their and hugged and cried I also don't remember going to sleep or driving the kids to school because next thing I know me and Bruce are sitting in the waiting room of the doctors office.

I don't hear the nurse call the name or the doctor introduce herself I vaguely hear her explain what's she's gonna do I'm too busy thinking about when the baby was conceived, I think it was the night of the gala and so does Bruce that was a little under a month ago a little more than twenty two days, we should be able to hear the baby's heartbeat. I put on the hospital gown and Bruce folds my clothes eventually the doctor walks back in.

She places cold gel on my stomach and Bruce's hand is in mine. I turn my head to look at the screen and there it is a small looking peanut shape, “There it is.” The doctor points at the grey and white on the staticky screen and suddenly this is real, this is I sat on the bathroom floor when I knew the truth, I think I have known since that night that there was a baby inside me and I've always been a parent but now Ill actually be a mom, I didn't know I was crying until Bruce wiped away my tears and then we heard it a small and tiny noise that whispered of love and screamed joy in both our ears a little heartbeat. 

See the full post

20 notes • Posted 2021-01-13 05:22:18 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[kkamist]

tags (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

ok so ive been tagged in different tags by different people ,,, nd have procrastinated on actually doing them ,, so i decided to compile all of them in one post !!

warning: this will be a v long post ,, read only if u wanna ,, know more abt me i guess (why would u lmAO)

fact tag?? i guess

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions

was tagged by maria !! @s0ftminho ♡ඩ⌔ඩ♡

Relationship status: single

Favourite colour: yellow,, peach,, nd black

Top 3 ships: oof idk?? oo nomin probably !!

Lipstick or chapstick: i dont use them :”)

Last song: im listening to gfriend - rough rn!

Last movie: spiderman homecoming hAHHAHA ( i was doing a mini marvel marathon bc my dad had the movies and didnt ! tell ! me ! but i uh stopped there lmao )

Top 3 shows: i dont watch shows often,, but i do rly like knowing brothers, night goblin :”) nd its dangerous outside the blanket! oooo theres also cafe amor that is p cute too !!

Currently reading: ok if manga counts, kimi no todoke nd bnha ,, if not ,, waking gods by sylvain neuvel (but i paused like ,, last yr prob hAHHA)

kpop + music tag!

ok so i was tagged by @01yoonjin to do ,, both of these tags if im not wrong,, and @maetaamong tagged me for the music shuffle tag and @hyuunjins tagged me for the kpop tag thingy aha

music shuffle tag

rules: put all of your phone’s music library – no playlists! – on shuffle. list the first ten songs that play. bold the song(s) that lift your mood and italicise the song(s) that makes you the most emotional. then tag ten people!

mad city - nct 127

campfire - svt

us now - vixx

hold me tight - bts

talk me down  - troye sivan

paradise - nct 127

too good - troye sivan

grr 총량의 법칙 - skz

another world - nct 127

blue - troye sivan ft alex hope

kpop tag

rules: answer the questions!

1) 5 favorite groups?

skz

nct

nuest

sf9

w1

2) Top 5 on your bias list? (no particular order)

hyunjin

(lee) chan

(lee) mark

chanhee

jr (jonghyun)

3) Ult Bias group and why you love them?

oof ok i,,, dont know? im not the type to actually Stay ulting a group?? like ill stan then ,,, then,, get into another grp,,, yeah,,,, im not v loyal aa my friends always ask what grps i stan and im liek ,,,,, idk,,,, i stan a Lot,,, (that was a real convo between a new friend i made weeks ago) but i guess,, atm its skz? their music is,, my taste? like the meaning of it nd all,, and uh theyre also v v fun to b with,, there isnt a moment when i dont smile whenever i see one of their vids or during their vlives :”) tbh what i like the most in groups i stan is their humor lmao,,, like if theyre v funny, i automatically love them even more :”))

4) Ult Bias and why you love them?

again,,, idk man,, i dont think i even Ult hAHHA ok but i ,, rlly like bae jinyoung nd chani hHAHHA ok but also ,,,, hyunjin. that boy,,,,,  id do anything for him tbh ,,  also bjy wasnt even mentioned in  2 but,,, i rlly love him ,, like idk,, i dont stan w1 as much now but ,, whenever i see him im like :-))))) (same goes for chani aa) fiuwe idk y i like them sm tho aa

5) Favorite Kpop Meme

iiiiii dont have any guawdeij

6) Favorite pic of your ult? (I dare you to only pick one)

ok what,,, i dont even know my ult hAHAH

7) 5 Favorite Kpop MVs

dont stop - twice (this is in jap tho,, does it count?)

nuest - daybreak

blooming days - exo cbx

you&me - kisum

go - nct dream

8) 10 Favorite Kpop songs?

vivid - loona/heejin

heart attack - loona/chuu

singing in the rain - loona/jinsoul

scentist - vixx

boss - nct u

rollercoaster - chungha

shine - pentagon

blooming days - exo cbx

trigger - vixx

my valentine - vixx

nd a lot more auief

9) Favorite Kpop crack video?

oof i dont watch crack often-

10) Favorite content creator within the fandom?

all of them!! :”)

11) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

aa atm the sk fandom !! i was q active in the svt fandom in my main blog but i dont make content anymore :-( i do want to b active in other grps (like nct nd sf9 nd mayb nuest) but i dont have enough Commitment to run other blogs at the same time :”)))

12) Take your top 3 biases- fmk

these arent my top 3 but-

F(riendly convo with) - murk leeeee

M - oof tbh id marry seungcheol or mingYU OmG :-)))))))) hes not my bias but ,, hes such husband material tbh ,,,,,,,,

K - lee chan bc he,, keeps Killing me w those looks even when im tryna stan another grp ughrei

13) If you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

chani? or chenle!! for chani ,, we’re q similar nd we both like chicken !!!!!!!!!!!! so yes. for chenle ,, we’re also kinda similar but we def have the same humor ,,, which is always great  :^)))))

14) If you could date any idol, who?

hm,,, tbh these days ive been feeling Soft for mark (lee) nd !! also bjy ,,,, ahHa im sorry hyunjin yshvriIHFED

15) What’s one Kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

vixx - eau de vixx bc nO ONE i know talks abt it :-((((

16) Are you a soft or a hard stan?

swoft??? or medium idK HAHAH

17) An idol that makes you go into soft mode?

100% hyunjin,,, Also bjy.

18) An idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

o man is also hyunjin aLSO mark lee :-))))))))))

19) Favorite vocalist?

oof hm,, defo seungkwan ,,, seokmin,,, basically svt’s vocal team :-))) oOF reading this again ,, yo haechan???? God tier vocals,,, pls stan nct :-)))

20) Favorite Rapper?

oo ok so i watched high school rapper nd i really like osshun? nd oH bang jaemin :”) aa i need to watch s2 soon jgafiue

in terms of idols, defo 3racha,,, theyre So Good uiahrfiu

21) Favorite dancer?

aAA in terms of girls: cHUNGHA!! for boys its ,, basically all of svt performance team nd,, ten and taeyong- (i like a lot of dancers its hard to choose ifajoiwe)

22) Things you have in common with your ult?

ok i,, dk my ult but ill just do it w the idols i put in in that q - for hyunjin i feel like we ,, both struggle w cooking lmAo nd have troubles waking up early :”) ,, actually now that i think abt it,, were both v quiet nd shy but when u get to know us? were v Loud nd savage (same w bjy nd chani) also again ,, chani likes chicken, i do too so :-)))))))

23) The mot beautiful trait any idol can have?

hm,, confidence? it takes a lot for someone to just go on stage and sing/dance etc,, like i would Never b able to do that- (proven today: had a skit and had a shaky voice the whole time , also laughed alot oops)

24) Songs that will always make you jam along?

vIVID by heejin nd singing in the rain by jinsoul nD ALL THE OTHER LOONA SONGS-

also rock by skz !!!!! nd nd omg rollercoaster by chungha nd,,, scentist by vixx nd many others hAHAH

25) Your worst wrecker?

in skz its ,,,,,,,, ***** :-)) also nomin have been wrecking me these days ,, rip

26) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

0 bc my parents wont let me :-(

27) Favorite choreo?

there r too many-

28) Favorite live performance?

also too many- but i do like concert performances where the fans sing along too- like those Hit me in the feels everytime (eg: smile flower - svt!!!) iahfnie (does this even count lmao)

29) Favorite debut mv?

adore u- svt !! (3rd anniv coming up ihHIWU)

30) Recommend a rookie group

skz obv, loona, unb ,, (g)i-dle !!

31) A kpop song you could listen to every day for the rest of your life?

there is a Lot but prob vivid - heejin hAHAH I RLLY LIKE THAT SONG AUWIFHIAU

20 question tag!

rules: answer 20 questions and then tag twenty people you want to get to know better

i was tagged by em !! @realstraykids  (´∀｀)♡

name: hazirah (oo name reveal :^))

nickname(s): haz

zodiac sign: scorpio

height: i am smoller than em ,, barely 5 feet :-)))))))))

languages spoken: ok ,, eng, malay, arabic, uuuh tiiiiiny bit of chinese and im now (kind of) self learning korean :^)

nationality: singaporean

favourite season: ok we dont have fall in sg,, but fall !!

favourite flowers: baby’s breath!

favourite scents: the scent of fried chicken :-)) or fresh laundry ,,, also petrol smell :-) 

favourite color: i answered above but yellow, peach nd black

favourite animal: shiba inus !!

favourite fictional characters: mmmm kacchan nd aizawa nD TODOROKI IFIAEUR HOW COULD I FORGET HIM O Mg frm bnha !! also baz nd simon frm the book carry on, simon by raindow rowell (one of my fav books tbh) ,,,, also tanaka frm tanaka kun is always listless bc hes goals tbh. ALSO oMg USUI TAKUMI FRM KAICHOU WA MAID SAMA OH MY GODUIHF

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: ok in cold countries i Always get hot chocolate,, here in sg i always get green tea,, or ice lemon tea sometimes :-)))

average sleeping hours: 5-6

dog or cat person: both but more towards cats tbh

number of blankets you sleep with: 1

dream trip: the world !! or like japan/england ,, 

blog established: feb 1 2018

followers: a number :-)

random fact: mmmmmmmm i broke my fast w two of my friends last night nd caught up w each other nd im v happy :-)))))

nd thats the end !! (not really,, theres like 2 slefie tags but i have 0 pics oops) but if you read through all this,, congratulations,, you probably know me more than my classmates :-))))

[xumxnghao]

all pf them

under a read more it goes

we are bulletproof: if you could be any superhero, who would you be and why?

spiderman! walking on walls seems cool

no more dream: if you woke up tomorrow to be incredibly famous, how would you react?

“yeah this is how it’s meant to be” (do I 100% expect to be famous in the future? yes)

i like it: if you could reverse any moment in your life, what would that moment be?

throwback to middle school when my best friend confessed to me and I told her I’d date her if i were a boy

n.o: biggest pet peeve?

i don’t really have any big pet peeves but I hate the sound of nails draggin on the weird ceiling material in cars

we on: how do you deal with people who don’t like you?

avoid them like the plague bc i have Anxiety

if i ruled the world: what would you do if you found out that you were an heir to a wealthy kingdom?

possibly have a panic attack but like money

coffee: what’s your coffee order?

green tea frappe with a shot of espresso bc i’m living that college student life of no sleep and only caffeine

cypher pt. 1: if you had to be part of a kpop group, what position would you want to be (i.e. leader, visual, lead vocal, dancer, rapper, maknae, etc.)

i’d WANT to be dancer, but realistically id probably be a singer

rise of bangtan: when and how did you get into the king and legends, also known as bangtan sonyeondan?

uh i remember i listened to fire a while ago and it wasn’t exactly my style and i thought bts was kind of overhyped so i didn’t really listen to them much until like a month are blood sweat and tears came out and i finally decided to watch and mv bank with them and i thought they were funny and it was really just a downward spiral from there

satoori rap: what does home mean to you?

home has no meaning to me bc it’s always been riddled with fear

boy in luv: when you are interested in someone (romantically, sexually, etc.), does your behavior change?

i mean i flirt more but that’s just cause im a libra :/

just one day: who would you want to spend the last day of your life with?

i think i’d want time alone

tomorrow: goal that you would like to achieve within the next year?

finish learning korean

cypher pt. 2: one thing about yourself you wish people would appreciate more?

there’s nothing to appreciate about me lol

spine breaker: what is your weakness when it comes to spending money?

i love stationary

jump: favorite childhood memory?

once in kindergarten we were painting pots for mother’s day. I was the kind of kid that liked to work ahead so i just started painting, but the pot was upside down so when i turned it over it just said “wow” instead of “mom”

miss right: what is your ideal ‘type’?

kim taehyung, park jimin, or xu minghao

i like it pt. 2: dream date?

I love amusement park dates

danger: have you ever had a near-death experience?

i nearly died of alcohol poisoning once. that’s a story.

war of hormone: most embarrassing moment?

when i was like in 8th grade i thought weed and pot were two different things and I’ve never lived that down

hip hop lover: three songs that are meaningful to you?

Should i just do BTS songs?

Move, Love is Not Over, Hold Me Tight

let me know: are you good at keeping secrets?

i like to think i am

rain: most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

i took a day trip to Houston without telling my dad while my mom was in China

cypher pt. 3: favorite outfit to wear?

i got a new Fila hoodie in japan that’s bomb af and i look great in it plus my white hat with the long tail and my adidas samoas

blanket kick: longest time you’ve spent lying in bed (sleeping or not)?

idk how long i spent in bed but once i had a depressive episode so bad that my phone only marked 19 steps on that day

24/7 = heaven: what are you most looking forward to?

SEVENTEEN CONCERT AND MEETING SEVENTEEN

look here: do you have any hidden talents?

I can hum and beatbox at the same time

second grade: proudest accomplishment?

I finished 12 years of music theory, got put in the TMEA pamphlet and got some money from it too

i need u: are you in love?

i need u girl

hold me tight: does physical contact comfort you?

no

love is not over: ever had your heart broken?

:)

dead leaves: how loyal are you?

very

move: last time you cried?

I nearly cried at the airport leaving Japan because my best friend is staying there for college and I won’t be able to drive a street down to see her anymore, but I don’t cry much so I didn’t actually shed a tear.

I did however shed a single tear because of some gifs of jimin this morning

butterfly: most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

answered

run: do you like traveling? if so, where? what’s your dream vacation?

i love travelling and i actually just experienced my dream vacation in japan. I guess my next one would be korea

ma city: if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

seoul. I want to be an MV producer for idols

baepsae: do you vote and/or keep up with politics?

not especially, but I should bc i used to be a journalist

dope: what did you want to be when you were younger? how does it compare to what you want to be now?

i wanted to be a vet and now i’m going into film so there’s a pretty big gap

fire: are you a spontaneous person?

I’m an istp so yes

save me: your favorite place on earth?

im bad at choosing favorites, i’d like to think that i’m not tied down

young forever: what is one movie from your childhood that you will always treasure?

mulan

boys with fun: you’re going on a roadtrip with seven other people– dead, alive, fictional, real, famous, or not. who are they, and why?

sam, sarah, sara, kim taehyung, park jimin, xu minghao, and mark tuan

converse high: how many pairs of shoes do you own?

jesus wait lemme count

at least 14

whalien 52: weirdest thing that has ever happened to you? alternatively, weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

once after a 4th of july fireworks show my friend and i stopped at a gas station for drinks and this very obviously high dude in the car next to me said to me from his seat “yo dude u okay? u like… saw the paranoia i felt” and i had to reassure him that i was fine and i was going home soon

and i don’t like to think about my dreams bc theyre usually nightmares

house of cards: when was the last time you felt sexy?

like 2 years ago when i took the best selfies of my life

boy meets evil: have you ever committed a crime? if so, what was it? alternatively, what is the worst thing you have ever done?

i mean ive smoked weed

i snorted xanax once but after that night i decided to never do that again

blood, sweat, & tears: kinkiest kink you have?

i…. am not sure yall are ready for this information

begin: who are you most grateful for in your life?

i dont think i have an answer for this

lie: biggest fear?

abandonment. which lead to my fear of commitment and attachment

stigma: would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?

cause

first love: do you believe in soulmates?

i’d like to

reflection: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

don’t go to the counselor

mama: are you good at giving advice?

not even a little bit

awake: if you had to be a flower, which flower would you be?

i’m not sure which I’d actually be but i love peonies

lost: how good are you with directions? do you get lost easily?

i’m pretty god with directions. I don’t usually get lost

cypher pt. 4: what do you do to treat yourself or relax?

i clean the shit out of my face

am i wrong: you wake up one morning in the hospital, knowing only your name and a single memory from your life. what is that memory?

damn well i wish i just lost all my memories

21st century girls: do you prefer texting, calling, or video chatting?

texting

2!3!: your favorite thing about bangtan?

how fucking weird and unapologetic they are

spring day: who do you miss right now?

my bed

not today: what are your procrastinating right now?

i need to pay rent and my class fees but i’m not

wings: on airplanes, do you prefer the window seat, the middle seat, or the aisle seat?

i like aisle seats for long flights and window seats for short flights

you never walk alone: how many people do you trust with your life?

maybe 2 ?

[midnight-watch-committee]

Story 4:lost

The Louenburg residence 3:14 am February, 14th,2019

The early mornings were always oddly refreshing. I’d flip over to a kid’s tv channel and get to catch some classic cartoons. My top 3 were probably Spiderman, Silver Surfer, and Looney toons. It was always nice to see those and escape the reality of school or “work.” Is this even a job? I honestly never know but it feels like slavery to some magical book. Every single time it opens I feel like an R rated Scooby Doo, getting the gang together to fuck the town up more. Would I be more of a Velma? I got up from the couch and went over to my laptop bag near the wall. It had been a while since Terror Eater, so everyone had started to calm down. It’s not like I INTENDED to disappear for a week, just saw some tree and was like “Oh fuck yeah.” Now that I think about it, that’s kinda sad. Just throw some trees my way and I do whatever you want. God, I love plants. I sat down with my laptop and opened it up, watching Spiderman and taking a which scooby doo character are you quiz because I’m very mature, shut up, when I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. A blinking red light out in the yard. That couldn’t have been right. I got up to get a closer look, pretending to be looking for my laptop charger. It was... a camera. WHAT THE FUCK! I almost screamed, but somehow managed to keep a level head. Was someone watching me? Who? FBI? I didn’t know what to do. I just grabbed my shit and called Mickey, knowing he’d still be up. He was, sure as day. “Hey, it’s a bad time but what’s up?” He said, he probably started his sentence before even answering. Sure enough, he was the team nurse. Took a first aid class during the summer after I broke my arm. “Hey, someone’s outside watching me, can you come get me?” I said. I heard him shoot up half way through the sentence, “What do you mean someone’s watching you?” He blurted out, he was pretty loud, probably so he didn’t have to explain to Mara where he was going. “As in someone’s sitting outside recording me!” I whisper-screamed at him. “Hey, I gotta-” He started, followed by Mara telling him to “Go, it’s an emergency, get moving!” I would’ve laughed in any other situation, but... I was honestly more afraid this person would figure out I saw them. Did they already know? If they did and brought a weapon, I don’t doubt they’d attack Mickey. “Hurry!” I whispered and hung up. I just had to play cool until he got here. Ok, I can do this. By the time my eyes weren’t breaking away from the light I realized how fucked I was. I can’t even talk to a new person without freaking out, much less let them sit in the bushes and record me for their wank collection. DING! I snatched up my phone. “I’m here, let’s go,” Don’t have to tell me twice, I shot for my bag, grabbed it, and ran! Not gonna wait for that guy to get his rocks off to scram! I hopped in the passenger seat and slammed the door. I opened his glove box and grabbed his revolver. “Hey, that’s not a toy!” he yelled. I put it back, sighing. So much for castle doctrine.

The Vallen residence 7:00 am, February 14th, 2019.

You might be wondering why I decided to get up so early. I did too, I had no self-confidence, none at all, in fact I had negative self-confidence. These are things you already probably knew. Unless trees, Beth, or adventure was involved, I’d constantly doubt myself. My Facebook time line reminded me what day it was with a picture I never wanted to see again. Me, in a sparkly red dress, and there, with their arm around me was my former lover Alex. Alex was nonbinary and a real tough lookin folk. Their wardrobe was probably the costume design for The Terminator. The dark hair and biker jacket used to turn me on... now it just hurts. They went missing a while back, no one said anything. That was about three years ago, and every year since Mickey gave me something on Valentine’s Day, the cards always calling me his dearest friend. It was nice but it didn’t change much. They were still gone. Fuck it, this time I’m finally not gonna be sad! I opened the closet and grabbed the same red dress from the photo and threw it on quickly. I ran to the bathroom and flung open the makeup drawer. Digging through it I realized how old most of the stuff was. I grabbed what little wasn’t empty or expired and threw it on. Some black eyeshadow, mascara, and red lipstick never hurt anyone! I looked up in the mirror and felt... good for once! Not because of all the pretty shit, although that never hurt, but because for the first time in a while I was taking control. I grabbed my converse shoes and threw them on quick, stole a granola bar from the pantry and ran out to the bus stop. I leaped in through the door way panting, the other kids from my stop must’ve thought I truly lost it, and maybe I have. I sat down and checked my purse. Card? Check! We were good to go. I threw on “Jessie’s Girl” and watched out the window at everything passing by.  

Big Horn High School, 7:25 am, February 14th, 2019

The bus was late, so there went dropping it in her computer bag early today. Guess I’d have second period, besides, she’s busy with club stuff in the mornings anyways. How does she even do it? “Ms. Vallen!” Mr. Hadison called after me. “I know, I’m late! Trust me, I got some good photos for class-” I started, turning around to see the one, the only special agent/Uber driver Chuck Garrison. “Ms. Vallen what a pleasure-” He stopped mid-sentence, “We’ve met before, haven’t we?” Shit, girl, we’re so dead! Does he know? For now, act like he doesn’t. “No... Nope, no way Jose!” I said, immediately blowing it. “Yep, I gave you a ride! I could tell the moment you opened your mouth.” He said and honestly I wouldn’t have been surprised if he was serious. “I know we talked earlier about somethings but Mr. Hadison here said you knew anything and everything about instant cameras.” He continued. “I do, why are you asking?” My voice was shaking again. He handed me a picture, “I was wondering if you could tell me anything about who took this photo or the camera used for it?” Ha, that’s it? Man, this would be easy. I took a look at it. It was one of mine, but I knew that if I tried to wiggle out or lie, I was as good as dead. “This looks like a Polaroid OneStep, much like the one I have” I held up my camera and gave it a wiggle. “The photographer, whoever they are, knew their tool like the back of their hand, the coloring is a little off but given the date at the bottom this tends to happen with pictures that are left unprotected for a while.” “Could they have also been called a camera expert like yourself?” Garrison asked, trying to trip me up. “Well, I guess with enough time and practice, anyone could be, don’t really see how a title effects an investigation-” I paused. “Hang on!” I held the picture up to a light and a smile ran across my face. It was the cabin but there was something off. “Someone added a window and a mountain! Whoever gave this to you is bullshiting you!” I handed it back to him, “Can I go to class now, officer? Or did you have any more questions?” He looked at the picture, then me, picture again, me again. He nodded and I headed off. “How did she know that?” Chuck asked. “Told you she’d know what you needed.” Mr. Hadison answered with a slight chuckle.

Lunch, 10:45 am, February 14th,2019.

I sat down at the table with Beth, Mickey, and Mara. They had started talking about whatever plans the couple ™ had and kept insisting Beth came along. I plopped a couple pictures down and started eating. The lack of space and pockets was honestly way more annoying than I remembered. I got a jaw drop from Mickey and a “Wowza!” from Beth, so I assumed it was the dress. “Ok pervs, get it all out now!” I joked, hoping they didn’t have any more comments. “Hey, so sorry but I forgot to get you something,” Mickey said. Three years and he’s never forgotten, hell last year I literally caught him buying a card for me in the middle of January! Who even does that? “What do you mean get her something?” Mara asked, and Beth started typing the answer away on her phone. The annoyed expression on Mara’s face changed to one of guilt. “Yeah, I was surprised too when I first saw him do it.” Beth said. I kept quiet for the rest of lunch, zoning out and eating my food, making sure my pics were good and occasionally showing one or two to the table. The one benefit to a magic camera is that you never run out of film! There were maybe two hundred photos there and I loved almost all of them. The bell rang and Beth shot off, as soon as she was out of ear shot was when I remembered I probably should’ve given her the card.

After school, 2:15 pm, February 14th, 2019.

Walking to Mickey’s truck I saw a bush... sit down. The red light from last night was starting to flash. Was this person really so stupid as to try something like this in broad daylight? I walked over, ready to kick this perv in the face for putting his cameras through such abuse as to violate someone’s privacy when I noticed something glowing... my camera. I stood still, who was seeing this? I started to feel weak, so I ran, sprinting towards Mickey. “It’s-” was about all I could force out before collapsing.

Big Horn Memorial County Hospital, 6:23 pm, February 14th,2019

When I came to, I had an IV in my arm and Beth sitting in a chair nearby. “What happened?” I asked, hoping what I remembered was a fever dream. Beth shot up and kneeled down next to my bed “Hey, you’re ok.” She said in her calming voice. “You passed out, doctors think it was dehydration but I told them that wasn’t possible, I literally watched you drink before you collapsed.” I chuckled softly, “Wow, Beth, you watch me drink? Are you sure it wasn’t you outside last night?” Her smile disappeared. “What?” she seemed scared, as was I. “There was...someone outside your place last night, they were recording me all night and-” Beth cut me off by handing the Children’s survival guide to me. “Someone... or something?” Sure as shit, the page in front of me is what little I remembered seeing. A pale, tall, humanoid creature. They don’t just have cameras, the cameras are their head, constantly watching and draining its victims of all life. Rumor has it that they’re people kidnapped by monsters with magical powers turned into a monster themselves and the only way to free them is if they’re recognized by someone. Their targets are usually someone they’re close to but can also be someone who’s just met them. “Oh yes, because I’ll remember M.C. Camera face!” I said, defeated. A hospital cart rolled by, completely unattended. Beth looked over at it, watching it roll past and looking for any signs of it. She gripped my hand, I guess to keep track of me. The door flung open and the thing came in, Beth stood in between us to block it. I kept Staring at it, trying to think of who could possibly be this camera! That’s when I noticed, it was an old camera. Not just any old camera, but the camera I had used to film my first ever dance with... “Beth, move!” She turned around, “Are you insane, it’s going to kill you!” I sigh and smile at it, “No Beth, they aren’t... please just trust me.” She sighed and moved aside. The stalker got close, leaning in maybe an inch from my face. “I thought of you today, Alex.” I said. The stalker started to emit steam, warping into itself, and yet it had this look. Even though it had no face, you could tell it was giving me a “Thank you” look. Beth and I sat there in watched, tears rolling down my face. As the last of it burned, Beth came over and wiped my tears, holding me close. I spent about an hour just crying with Beth there cradling me. It was nice, but eventually I stopped crying. “Hey,” she said reaching into her purse, “I may or may not have planned something out for tonight that didn’t work because you were in the hospital. But we do have an alternative!” she said, pulling a projector out of her bag. I was pleasantly surprised. “Wait, did you stop Mickey from-” I started. “No silly, just wanted to give you mine first” She said, turning off the lights and turning the projector on. It was her, holding some note cards. It was late and she was quietly reading them from her room but you could tell she cared. “Juniper, I’ve told a million lies to a thousand people but today I have to say the hardest words I have ever said before in my life.” A picture of us went up, in place of her as she laid down next to me. “If there was ever someone I would want to be trapped on an island with, it would be you. You are funny, clever, sweet, and more stunning than you ever give yourself credit for. I knew that the first time I ever asked you for a pencil, and every time after that. The adorable way you stammer over your words when you aren’t confident in yourself reminds me I might actually have a chance to say what I want to say in person. Juniper Susan Vallen...” The projector Beth disappeared as the video ended, replaced by me and the real Beth sitting in the darkness. I felt her face turn towards me, the room barely illuminated by the hallway light through the curtains and the monitors behind me. “I...” she paused. She felt like... well like me trying to talk to someone! “I love you” she barely managed to get out. Fireworks went off in my heart. This can’t be real! “Elizabeth Louenburg...” I paused too for dramatic effect. “I may or may not love you too.” She looked at me like I just told her to go fuck herself “May or may not?” I giggled, “Ok, Ok, yes, I love you too, dummy!” She sat in my lap and kissed me. It was amazing, I didn’t want it to end. But sadly, we were interrupted by someone knocking at the door. Beth sighed and got up, checking the door. “Ok, I’ll ask her if she wants to see you now.” she said to whoever it was, them responding back and her snapping “I don’t care if you’re God himself, if Juni doesn’t want to see you, she doesn’t want to see you!” She shut the door on them and whispered to me “Some guy named Chuck is here to see you.” I gave her a thumbs up and she opened the door. “She said you have five minutes.” Beth said, knowing damn well I didn’t but probably just wanted to spend some more time with her new girlfriend. Chuck sat down, his stereotypical suit and tie looking a little less professional the way it was coming apart. “When I heard our only real witness,” he said, gesturing towards me, “was in the hospital I HAD to rush down here. Juniper,” He said, looking at me like he was losing all hope in this weak case, “do you know of anyone who may have attempted to hurt you in anyway?” I shook my head. “Then how did you break your nose? And how did you pass out in the first place?” Beth started to seem annoyed so I tried to answer him quickly, “I have no idea how I collapsed, doctors noticed a lack of nutrients so that might’ve been it, as far as my nose goes I hit the ground pretty hard so that must’ve done the trick.” And with that his faith seemed restored. “If we happened to get any more pictures from the news or wherever, would you still be willing to identify them?” I nodded and he got up. “Thank you so much! We might just have a case against these traitors after all!” He shook my hand, then Beth’s. “It was nice to meet you, ma’am. I’ll let you girls get back to whatever you were doing.” He winked at me and left. It was odd but... reassuring oddly. Beth sighed and layed next to me, refusing to leave me all night.