#but its still pretty nice i just dont want to fill the drawers until i find it so its not as functional as it could be lol

[guinevereslancelot]

dented my new water bottle but i bought 100 flower stickers and now it's pretty and you cant see the dent. simple pleasures will cure me

[nappingnai]

megumi drabble

angst with no comfort at all, hinted at itafushi, wc; 670, im sorry i love u guys, not proof read so if theres mistakes im sorrryyyy

itadori is gone, and gojo has been given a task from before his execution. to give megumi a handwritten letter. gojo wants to snoop and see what it says, but he knows its not smart.

the soft sound of knocking interrupts megumis thoughts, muttering a small "come in" as he makes himself look somewhat presentable. gojo strolls into his room, sighing as he lookd around.

"yuji wanted me to give you this." is all he says before turning around and leaving, unable to let megumi mutter a word or let a single noise escape his vocal cords. megumi looks at the paper— a small, off-white, folded up— signed by itadori. his messy, but pretty handwriting with small doodles around it. mainly just silly ones of megumi, or itadori himself.

it takes megumi a couple of moments before unfolding the paper, letting his eyes quickly scan over it to see what the main jist of it was before taking a deep breath and deciding to genuinely read through it.

"hey fushiguro! if you're getting this note, its quite obvious ive passed on. i dont wanna say i'll see you soon because i want you to live longer than i did, okay? ill see you someday, though. thats for sure. anyways, i dont really know how to go about this. all those books i borrowed, you can have them back, if you want. they should be in the drawer next to my bed, unless gojo-sensei cleared my room out already. i think he'll leave that to you, though? i did ask him too, but you cant get everything you want, yknow!

anyways, other than all that stupid stuff, i'll miss you. i would say to tell kugisaki i'll miss her too, but, i can tell her that myself now. im sorry for leaving so soon, but you still have gojo-sensei and some of the others. i know you're not a huge fan of communication or anything, but don't continue to be that person that sits in the corner at parties!! live life a bit. i get you're a sorcerer and you assume everything will always be shit, but you can still live. it wont kill you to not be a misanthropist for once in your life fushiguro.

dont drown yourself in guilt over this because there was nothing you could've done to stop it. i was going to meet my end whether you wanted it to be stopped or not. i always had a question, fushiguro. i lived a somewhat nice childhood for someone like me, but the question always ran through my head atleast once a year. was i raised without love, or was i unloveable? and i figured out the answer. i was raised with love, just not enough for me to feel like it. and im not unloveable because i know you loved me with every ounce of love your soul could provide to me.

i think this is long and sad enough already, so, moral of the note, thank you. tell gojo-sensei im sorry for having to leave so soon, but it was bound to happen. i lived an interesting life because of you. id rather die than never meet you. thank you for this, and i love you, megumi."

megumi had already balled up the piece of paper in his hand once finished with reading it, the tears lining his waterline threatening to fall. he let out a shitty attempt at a chuckle, which seemed to be the breaking point of it. instead of a chuckle, it was a choked back sob, making him cough a bit. he threw the paper, even if it didnt go very far. he sat on his bed and stared down, sobbing. he kept wiping his eyes to try and make the tears disappear, but they kept appearing as if nothing could stop them.

megumi went to bed that night with nothing but tears and a hole in his heart that he feels will never be filled until he sees itadori again.

(misanthropist - a person who dislikes humankind and avoids human society.)

[championleonsslut]

Got anything for a yandere Leon like headcanons or a fic?

OHOHOHO ANON THE CAN OF WORMS YOU HAVE OPENED

Yandere Leon

WARNINGS: kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome, kinda nsfw, murder, manipulation. Reader is female

DONT DO THIS IN REAL LIFE ITS REALLY BAD KIDS

Leon gets what he wants. He always does eventually. He’s the champion.

And what he wants right now is you. The prettiest girl in all of Galar according to him. So sweet, so kind, so clever, so good with Pokemon.

He’s madly in love with you, even though you guys are only friends. There’s just one problem.

The boyfriend.

Leon has some competition in his way, as you’ve told him over and over again how madly in love with this man you are. Leon has to watch him kiss you and make you giggle. Disgusting! You should be in his arms, kissing his lips instead.

He draws the line when you tell who you think is a good friend that you want to give your boyfriend your virginity.

So Leon “runs” into your boyfriend in the Wild area, and challenges him to a Pokemon battle with Charizard. Your poor boyfriend… Charizard just… burned him right up! What a freak accident! Naturally Leon deposes of the body before anyone stumbles upon it. He throws it into a cave, careful to keep his fingerprints off it.

His body is found a few days later, and it’s all over the news. You come running into Leon’s arms, crying your pretty little eyes out. Leon pretends to be all upset and comforts you as you cry.

That’s when Leon starts the manipulation. He starts twisting your brain to see him in a better light, to maybe even fall in love with him.

And it works! From what he can tell, you have a crush on him. Finally. Now he can begin the second step of his plan.

He decks out a room in his private penthouse just for you, and breaks into your apartment that night. The house is peaceful, and you’re wearing such short shorts and such a short shirt while you sleep peacefully… how is Leon supposed to resist you?

He sees you sleeping with your mouth open, and pops a few pills in there. He helps you swallow them too, how sweet. Those will make sure you stay unconscious for the next few hours.

And once he makes sure you’re out cold, he lunges his new prize over his shoulder, and carries you out to the car to rest peacefully in the back seat.

You awake in a very strange place. You don’t remember being here. Then Leon appears, to welcome you to your new home! You put two and two together and start screaming at him for kidnapping you, but he doesn’t bat an eye. He says once you’ve calmed down and gotten used to the place, your restrictions can be lifted.

And just like that he’s gone.

Your room is nice to say the least… he made sure to decorate it to your tastes. A large king sized bed, bookshelves, a desk, a video game system, anything else that may have interested you…

And of course a massive closet filled with all sorts of clothes… but especially lingerie. The sluttiest cuts you’ve ever seen! You even spied a few sex toys in the drawers…

Leon brings you fresh food and water very often, making sure you’re well kept. You’re still mad at him for kidnapping you, but pleased he’s taking care of you so well.

You eventually ask him why, and your suspicions are confirmed.

“Oh, love. Well I couldn’t let anyone else have you, now could I? You were made for me! So I had to start keeping you here… so I could have you all to myself. We’re meant to be together, don’t you know?”

At first you reject him, and he’s disappointed, but just thinks you need more time. So he gives you more time, and manipulates you more, until you finally tell him you love him after countless nights of being denied.

That’s when you gain a bit of freedom. Now you’re allowed to walk around the entire penthouse! Leon officially starts calling you his girlfriend too, and takes your virginity on a night you chose to wear lingerie for him.

You stay happily cooped up in his apartment for about a year, while still taking good care of yourself, before he finally sets you free. He knows you won’t leave his side, and you’ll always come home, but now you can start leaving the penthouse… as long as you always come back. (Which you do!)

After being his precious little darling for a few years, he presents you with a beautiful ring one night, and asks you to be his queen. Of course you say yes, and reward him that night with the lewd pleasure he loves to get out of you.

The wedding is wonderful, and he’s so glad to finally have you as his bride. Stolen, maybe. But his nonetheless. You’re a wonderful wife to him, no matter if you stay at home or have a career of your own.

But a few years into your marriage, Leon wants a little more than just you. He wants you to bear his children. Of course you say yes! Actually, you say yes many times, as you two end up having five little babies of your own.

A girl, another girl, a boy and a girl (TWINS!) and another boy.

Your children and husband are the lights of your life, just the way Leon has always wanted it.

Becuase you belong to him.

I’m totally willing to go into heavy detail about the five children you have with Leon just fyi

[wienerbarnes]

Telephone Line

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,449

Warnings: pretty sad ngl but not angst, mentions of death, mentions of cancer, these warnings sound bad but i promise its just kinda sad lol

A/N: ngl even i dont know where this came from lol but ill prob make a pt 2? if the idea i have strikes enough material for another part. enjoy anyways tho!

MAIN MASTERLIST

A deep orange hue shines through the cracks of his blinds as Bucky looks at the new shiny exterior of his new iPhone. Being too reckless on a mission led him to a cell phone cracked in two, resulting in him having to spend four hours at the Apple store all the way in Manhattan, quite a ways away from his apartment upstate.

Low trumpets flow softly through the speakers of his record player, a bold blue box that Sharon gifted him this year for his birthday. He hums to Marvin Gaye as he goes through the device in front of him, setting up account after account, typing in password after password. Gaye was a few decades after his time, but he won’t let it show in front of Sam how much he enjoys his music. 

He downloads the mindless puzzle games he had on his previous phone and is thankful that the contacts that were in his old phone were able to be transferred for him. 

He locks the phone and sets it aside before taking out the small sketchbook from the drawer in his desk. He also grabs a pencil from the cup sitting on the corner of the wood and flips his book open to a fresh page. A new hobby Bucky’s picked up since Steve’s passing. 

His real passing. Not the one everyone sold to the world in order for him to live the rest of his life in peace in a cabin far away, probably crowded in trees and flowers; perhaps the house is where a rainbow begins or where the sky rains golden droplets. Bucky wouldn’t know, he never visited after seeing Steve as an old man after he returned the stones. 

There wasn’t anger; Bucky and Steve spoke about his plans before he left and Bucky was happy for him, he was finally getting the life he deserved after so much time spent doing the “right” thing, and not what he wanted. It was a situation of feeling… weird and awkward around this new Steve. It was a completely different Steve with different experiences, different memories. A family. Kids and grandkids and great-grandkids. Photos probably hung on the walls of the house of people he wouldn’t recognize. He always wondered what happened to him in Steve's timeline. In other words, he wonders if Steve rescued him from Hydra and spared him the eighty years of torture. He wonders if there’s any pictures of him in Steve’s house. For Bucky, it became, “I’ll go visit him another day,” until, well, there weren’t any more chances. 

A sketch of what he can remember Times Square to look like from this afternoon appears on the paper. Rough lines shaping out tall buildings and people, small squares to outline the pavement, bigger boxes to indicate the shapes of the numerous cars that filled the area. He reaches for his box of colored pencils in the side-drawer of the desk when the generic ringtone of his new phone belts out loudly.

A number that isn’t saved into his phone appears on the screen. A Brooklyn area code. Maybe all the contacts didn’t transfer themselves.

“Hello,” Bucky answers after swiping his right pointer finger along the slide bar.

A hitch of feminine breath is heard before a few seconds of silence, before the three beeps signaling the caller hung up. Probably an accident.

Bucky goes to pick up his pencil again before the tone is heard once more, the same number on the screen. An eyebrow quirks upwards and he answers the phone again.

“...Hello?” Bucky says once more. Again, he’s met with silence before being hung up on. Maybe not an accident, maybe a prank caller. I’ve had the phone for maybe six minutes and this is already happening.

The same number calls for a third time and Bucky debates even answering this time. He lets it ring three times before answering.

“Hello?” He asks, met with silence. “Listen, I’m not in the mood for prank callers, so if you don’t mind-”

“Who is this?” A quiet feminine voice finally answers through the speaker against his ear.

“Who is- What do you mean who is this? Lady, you called me first!” Bucky responds, already exasperated with the conversation.

“How did you get this phone number?” She asks, voice shakier than the first time she spoke.

“I got a new phone and they gave it to me? How else do you get phone numbers?”

“No, no, no. You don’t understand. This-this is my husband's number. It can’t be your new number!” The woman responds, voice cracking this time.

“Okay, okay, hey, relax. Maybe there was a mistake? Maybe your husband received a different phone number?” Bucky offers, not really wanting to play Tech Support as he draws to wind down his day before dinner.

“No! There wasn’t a mistake, my-my husband is dead! This was his phone number and-and-and I call it everyday once I-I get out of work! How did you get this number, why did they give his away?!” Pants and shaky breaths are heard between almost every other word as you start audibly crying on the phone.

Bucky’s eyes widen, not expecting that explanation. Great, a fruit gave away her husband to me.

“Hey, okay, take a breath.” Bucky suggests, and waits for her breathing to become a little more regular before continuing. “I’m sorry they gave me your husband’s number, it was randomly selected. I mean, I hope it wasn’t the last thing you had of his voice?” Bucky tries to offer.

“Of course it’s not,” You reply, voice sounding calmer now. “I just wasn’t expecting them to give away his number like that, it stayed for a few weeks so I thought,” a humorless chuckle, “I thought they’d let me keep it.”

“I’m really sorry about your husband. I, uh,” Bucky hesitates, questioning if he should be telling this emotionally unstable widow about his personal life, but continues anyway, “I recently lost someone important to me, as well. My best friend.” Bucky confesses, fingers toying with the circular edge of the back of the colored pencil.

A pause, “Can you tell me about him?”

“He, um, was a good guy. Real selfless. He was uh,” Bucky thinks of how to talk about Steve without actually leading to the fact that he’s talking about the former Captain America, “He was a bit older than me, and he passed away from health problems. Heart problems.” Bucky comes up, technically not a lie, his heart did stop when he died.

A small sniffle, “My husband passed away from lung cancer. The doctors told me there was no other hope for him; he needed a machine to help him breathe and a bunch of tubes in him to help him do everything else. So I asked the doctors to just…” You trail off.

A sudden deep sigh escapes her, the raspiness of her voice heard through the speaker and flows into his ear, “Sorry, I probably sound like a crazy person right now, calling her dead husband everyday just to hear his seven second voicemail.” You apologize, another humorless laugh following your words. 

“I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re just trying to cope the best way you can. You miss him.” Bucky objects, still toying with the purple colored pencil in his hand.

“Um, yea.” You respond, probably not even expecting Bucky to actually listen to your rambling.

“What’s your name?” You ask.

“James.”

“Of course it is,” You mumble, eyes closing on the other side of the call.

“What was that?” 

“I said, of course it is. That was my husband’s name, too.”

A sympathetic smile pulls at his mouth, even though you can’t see it.

“Listen, if you even want to call again, I don’t mind. I can either listen in silence, or we can talk, or, whatever you want. It’s okay.”

“Thanks, James. That’s nice of you.” You say, voice watery, but Bucky doesn’t mention it.

“I’ll, uh, let you go, James. Sorry for any bother.” He can tell you’re struggling to hold back tears with the way your voice is straining.

“No bother at all. Have a good rest of your night, okay?” Bucky bids her, hoping she will, but accepting that there’s a good chance this poor woman will be in tears for the rest of her evening.

“You, too.”

A couple seconds of silence follow before the call ends. Bucky sighs, locking his phone once more. He picks up the pencil in front of him, ignoring the small tremor in his fingers, and presses the pencil to the paper.

He thinks about her for the rest of the night.

[mrs-pedro-pascal]

𝓑𝓪𝓫𝔂 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 ❤️

Sally X reader

Warning: mention of cutting

I walked down the hallways of the hotel Cortez. This hotel was what I called home. After I had committed suicide I thought I was finally free from the awfully place we know as earth, but then I woke up and I was in the same spot I had shot myself in. The hotel was pretty lonely. I cried every night until my body was numb. I also had sex with many different residents of the hotel. Not gonna lie they were all really good, but the best one was a broken hearted beauty named Sally McKenna.

Sally was the first person to be nice to me in the hotel. One night I was just crying in one of the booths of the hotel bar, my knees tucked under my pink flowery skirt that I had put on that morning and my tears fell onto my black off the shoulder top. Mid mental breakdown, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to face to the figure and was met with pure beauty.

"You ok, baby love?" She asked moving a strand of hair out of my face. I wanted to lie but I couldn't.

"N-no." I replied in a mere whisper. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in close. I laid my head on her chest and cried into her soft Leopard print coat.

"I'm Sally." I didn't respond.

"Whatever it is you'll get through it Y/n."

"How do you know my name.?" I asked.

"Your names been going around here. But I won't let that happen anymore." She kissed the top of my head and rocked me back and forth. It felt so good to be held again.

ℙ𝕝𝕒𝕪 𝕞𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕔 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖

That same night Sally and I were in her room, drinking and listening to old school music. Put your head on my shoulder started to play when Sally stood up from laying on the floor next to me.

"Dance with me." I grabbed her hand and she pulled me up from the ground. She put my arms around her neck and put hers around my waist.

"This is my favorite slow dance song." I said looking into her eyes.

"Mine too." She replied in a dream like voice.

She stopped us from moving and started to pull my skirt down until it fell to the floor and pooled at my ankles.

"What are yo-"

"Shhh. Let me fix that broken heart." She whispered in my ear and started to kiss my neck. Her hands started moving down my body until her fingers were running over my folds in my panties.

"Ah, S-Sally. That f-feels so g-good." I moaned throwing my head back. Sally picked me up and set me down on the bed of her hotel room, with her hand never leaving my panties.

"Come on, baby love. Scream for me. Moan as loud as you can." Sally was desperate to hear me shout her name to the roof tops and I was ready to shout.

"Oh, I l-love it when y-you call me b-baby love." I tried to hold back to scream that wanted to come from my throat but to no avail.

"OH, FUCK!! SALLY FUCKING MAKENNA!!! OH DONT STOP!!" I screamed and bit my lip after to hide the smile that was planted on my face. I was so goddamn touch starved that finally being touched made me the happiest person on earth.

"You like that? You like it when I call you that name?"

"Mmh, yes. GOD YES!!" Another scream came from my throat as I felt my orgasm rising to its surface.

"Oh that's it. Cum for mommy." I was slightly shocked that she had a mommy kink but I liked it.

"Mmmm, mommy please let me cum?" I begged for mercy as I tried to be a good girl and wait for her to give me permission to have release.

"Go ahead and let it go sweet girl." With her permission I didn't wait another second.

My orgasm ripped through me like it had somewhere important to be. I screamed for Sally as I slowly fell back onto the bed. God what a night that was.

Now it had been about three months and I was happier than ever with Sally. We made each other happy in a sad atmosphere where darkness surrounded us and tried to envelop us. But we wouldn't let it.

I walked down to Sally's room for our weekly movie night. We always would pick a movie that Irish had hidden behind the front desk, cuddle, eat snacks, kiss, some times kissing would lead to sex, and just over all enjoy the night. I was about to open the door when I heard moaning. It sounded like a man but it also sounded like Sally. I thought I was going crazy. Sally would never cheat on me. Though we weren't officially a couple, we were more like friends with benefits. But Sally had promised herself to me and I had done the same.

I opened the door and immediately burst. Sally was in bed with John. JOHN GODDAMN LOWE!!! What the hell was she doing with him? I shouldn't even be asking. THERE ARE FUCKING!!

"What the fuck!" I yelled as tears sprung from my eyes. Sally and John were stunned and grabbed the sheets as quick as possible to cover there bodies.

"Y/n I can explain." Sally tried to speak but I didn't want to hear some half ass excuse with some half ass apology.

"Save it. I knew something was wrong with you today but I just brushed it off. I'm done! This is bull shit and you are a liar!" I slammed the door and stomped down the hall to the elevator, going straight to the bar. Liz wasn't there so I helped myself to a bottle of tequila. Sally's favorite tequila. I took a quick swig then screamed to the top of my lungs in anger and started to cry again.

"Why so upset?" I heard a voice say, I looked up and there stood the Countess.

"I don't really wanna talk about it Elizabeth."

The countess was very nice to me. She treated me like a fragile porcelain baby doll that could shatter at any moment and time.

"Oh, come on Y/n. Talk to me. Talk to county." County was the nickname I gave her when we first became friends. She seemed to like it so it stuck.

"Sally cheated on me with John." I wept harder at the thought of the sight I saw. The countess pulled me out from behind the bar and brought me over to a booth then sat me on her lap, rocking me back and forth just like Sally did.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart. But you never know. Maybe she had a reason. And you technically aren't a couple. You two never made it official."

"I get it county. But if she wasn't happy anymore why wouldn't she just tell me?" I wondered out loud hoping the countess had an answer.

"If I knew I would tell you honey."

For the rest of the day I avoided Sally. I stayed in my room curled up under the sheets, still crying into the pillow. I felt like my heart had been pulled out of my chest. I didn't know what else to do and I had razor blades just a few steps away in the bathroom. I stood from my bed and had to catch myself on the night stand from my weak knees. I went straight to the sink and pulled out the drawer that contained my blades. Pulling out a fresh, unused one, I sat on the floor against the bathtub and a lined the blade with my wrist. I dragged it across and immediately started to see the crimson, thick liquid spill from my veins. It felt so good so I kept going. More tears sprung from my eyes.

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝑰 𝒅𝒐 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏g? 𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆? 𝑰𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒆? 𝑫𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒏𝒆𝒘? 𝑶𝒓 𝒂𝒎 𝑰 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆?

After a while of lying on the floor and letting the blood flow out of my wrist, I cleaned up the mess I had made, bandaged up my wrist, and went right back to bed. I few moments later, there was a knock at my door.

"GO AWAY!!" I yelled thinking it was Sally.

"It's county, sweetheart. May I come in?"

"Sure." She opened the door and knew what went down.

"I smell blood. Y/n, what have you been do-" that's when she looked at my wrist.

"Oh sweetheart, I thought you swore never to do that again."

"I swore to Sally I would never do it again. Now I can do whatever the fuck I want." Then out of the blue I broke down all over again.

"I love her so much and yet she can't seem to stay committed to one person. I wanted to live in this hotel for forever and have a real relationship. I want to fall asleep in her arms and wake up the same way in the morning. I just want her back." I bawled into the countess' arms as she held me.

"It's will get better my darling." She stroked my hair and rubbed my back.

"Will you cuddle me?" I asked look at her  with pleading eyes.

"Of course honey."

𝓢𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂'𝓼 𝓟𝓞𝓥

I can't believe I did this to her. I just couldn't help it. I used to love John but I want Y/n now. I should have just told her how I felt a long time ago. No matter where I looked I couldn't find her. I decided to try her room again.

I knocked on the door, readying myself for rejection, but instead of that I got a quiet 'come in'. I opened the door to find the Countess holding Y/n while she slept.

"Hey. How is she?"

"She's hurt very badly, mentally and physically." She said and that confused me.

"What do you mean physically?" I walked I bit closer to them. The Countess gently picked up Y/n's wrist.

"She started cutting again."

I couldn't believe it. I did this to her. I made her do this to herself. I softly grabbed her wrist and kissed it gently over the bandages as tears fell from my eyes.

"I'm so sorry, baby love." I whispered.

𝓣𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮 𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓴𝓼 𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻

𝓨/𝓷 𝓟𝓞𝓥:

I hadn't talk to Sally in weeks I had never been so sad in my life. I hadn't cut myself, mostly because the Countess told me to stop or else, and I don't want to know what the or else is so I stopped. Sally and I made a few glances at each other in the halls or at the bar so I guess that a little bit of progress. I hadn't seen John so I feel good about that. He was probably working with James P. March on more crimes that they would never get caught for.

I woke up one morning and decided to go hang out with Liz to make me feel better. I put on mom jeans, a black tank, and a brown fluffy jacket.

I put my hair up in a high ponytail and put some pink socks on. When I opened my door a jacket was laying in the hall. Sally's jacket. I picked it up and held it for a little while. I couldn't help but stuff my face in it and get her sent in my nose. It smelt of sweetness and smoke. I heard foot steps start to come down the hall but I didn't think anything of it, until the smell of smoke filled my nostrils. And it wasn't the coat.

I looked down the hall and there she stood. Sally. Just standing there, cigarette in hand, staring into my eyes with a smug look on her face. She walked down to me slowly with her head down and the smug look gone. I kept my head down, still holding her coat.

"Hey." She said softly.

"Hi." I felt so awkward.

"You can keep my jacket if you want. I really don't-"

"No it's ok. I don't need it." I shoved the coat into her hands and sprinted down the hall to the elevator as quickly as I could.

"Liz, I just don't know what to do. I want her back so badly, but she hurt me so badly. I don't wanna be hurt." Tears started to form in my eyes as I nocked back another shot of tequila.

"The way I see it darlin', she wants you back right?" I nodded.

"And you want her back..." I nodded again.

"Give her another chance. People make mistakes, and I can tell you honey that I've made plenty in my life time. But you forgive and forget. Not every fight has to last a life time." I giggled as she winked at me.

"Sally wants you she just doesn't know how to say it. Ya know, every night after you two met she came down her and told me how much she loved you already. I thought it was just like any other person that caught her eye, but there was something different there. There was true, absolute, addictive love in her eyes that I had never seen before. Now, I want you to go get your girl and tell her how much you love her."

I came behind the bar and hugged Liz as tight as I could.

"Thank you." I mumbled into her chest, then ran to Sally's room.

I sort of  forgot how big the hotel was as I was looking for Sally's room, room 55. How the hell did I get lost when I've been down this hall like a million times?

Once I finally found her room I hesitated to knock at first. It scared me a little to see her again. What if she still wanted John? What if she needs more time? What if she doesn't love me anymore? I had to calm myself down and get all of the negative things out of my head. I hesitated to knock once again until my wrist went against my whole body. I heard shuffling and the sound of the springs in the bed squeaking. I waited impatiently for the door to open, not know what to expect. Soon enough the door swung open and there stood that beautiful goddess I had fallen in love with all that time ago.

"Y/n? What are you-" She cut off by shock as I hugged her tightly around her waist and weep into her chest.

"I'm sorry. If I had just let you explain this whole thing wouldn't have happened in the first place." She put her arms around me and stroked my hair.

"I never want to fight with you ever again."

"Shhh, baby, none of this is your fault. It's mine. I went and slept with John, I didn't think about your feelings. You shouldn't blame yourself for my actions." She held me closer, if that was even possible. She kissed my head multiple times trying to calm me down from my crying fit.

"I just want you to love me like you love him." I mumbled into her chest hoping she wouldn't hear me, but she did. Sally held my face in her hands.

"Babygirl, I love you so much more than I love him. You are my number one, my first priority, my princess," She said with a smile.

"and no one is gonna change that. Ever." Sally looked at my eyes then my lip. She slowly leaned in and our foreheads touched. I felt her lip brush against mine.

"Can I kiss you?" Sally Begged with pleading eyes. I leaned into her and our lips interlocked. Her lips are so soft and plump. I missed the feeling of them so much. She tasted like cigarette smoke and red velvet. She always added something to a kiss. Something sensual that made the kiss more heated. She slipped her tongue in my mouth and I started to suck on it.

"𝓘 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵."

[spnsoap]

Hi! Little prompt for you : Wolfstar and the Hanahaki disease. Have a great day !

Hi, thank you so much for the ask! i so sorry this took me a lot longer to write then i was expecting, I hope you like it !!

tw: mentions of death, a little gore

Jame’s had just gotten to platform 9 ¾ , and said goodbye to his parent’s before hopping on the train dragging his trunk behind him. He walked down the aisle peering into each compartment looking for Sirius, he knew Sirius had to be here somewhere cause he was always the first on the train of his friends.  James was almost to the back of the train when he looked to his left, and saw a familiar head of black hair and a black leather jacket. 

“Hey Sirius!” James pulled open the compartment door and hauled his trunk in behind him. Sirius looked up from the window he was looking out of, and cracked a smile.

“Ah finally some decent company” James let out a hearty laugh as he sat down across from him.

“What were you looking at, pads?”  James questioned with a small smirk on his face. Sirius whipped his head around and turned a light shade of pink before answering,

“What? Nothing.” James' smile widened with amusement as he raised his eyebrows at his best friend, but he didn’t question any further. Just then the door slid open again to reveal Remus, 

“Hey guys. Am i walking in on something?” he questioned, also with an amused grin on his face as he looked between James and Sirius. Sirius turned a brighter shade of red at this and turned back the window, not responding.

“Oh no, not at all moony dear friend,” James started, “it’s just pads here, has a crush!” Sirius shot him a glare and muttered a “Shut up prongs” 

Remus had sat down next to James who was saying “come on, who is it?” But Sirius didn’t respond, so they dropped the subject sitting in a comfortable silence until Peter came in, and the mindless chatter started.

“No way!! There's no way Mcgonagall would fall for that!” James had been saying before the compartment door slid open and Lily stepped in , with her arms crossed.

“Fall for what?” she questioned with an eyebrow raised and giving them a piercing look. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had previously all been planning some of their pranks for throughout the year, before Lily entered. All previous conversation ceased as they looked up at her, and this time it was James whose face had turned a bright shade of pink.

“Oh nothing” James said cooley, while putting his elbow across the seat behind Remus' head so that his head was resting on his hand. This would’ve looked cool and nonchalant, if his elbow hadn't slipped causing him to fall forward onto Remus’ lap while also elbowing him in the back of the head. Lily simply rolled her eyes and was about to leave when one of her ravenclaw friends came up behind her to peer in at Remus. Remus quickly sat backup and fixed his hair once he saw the Ravenclaw boy looking in at them with a smile on his face.

“Hey Remus, you doin’ alright?” the Ravenclaw boy said with a flirty tone and twinkle in his eyes. Remus was very obviously flustered as he said “yeah, yeah great” now even brighter red than James was.

Sirius looked at the boy with anger and jealousy? But why was he jealous? He doesn't like the Ravenclaw boy, he doesn’t even know him. Sirius thought it must be because all the boys liked Remus, no one ever flirted with Sirius like that, yes that must be it. Sirius tore his eyes away from the sight, choosing instead to look aimlessly out the window.

“Dang Remus, who was the hottie?” Peter asked after the boy and Lily had left. Remus just buried his face in his hands in embarrassment, while Peter and James laughed and nudged Remus hyping him up. But Sirius couldn’t help but notice the smile on Remus’ face when he finally looked up from his hands. It was then that Sirius felt a tickle in the back of his throat and tried to clear it out.

“Hey anyone have a bottle of water?” he asked horsley. Peter grabbed some from his bag and handed it over to Sirius,

”You better not be getting sick Pads, the year hasn’t even started yet” James had said as Sirius took a sip of the water, Peter and Remus nodding in agreement

“Ah don’t worry it's just a tickle in my throat is all.” Sirius said with a smirk, he did hope he wasn’t getting sick.

---

Sirius supposed he must be getting a cold, because at the feast later that night he had started to get a cough. It was right when he noticed the ravenclaw boy staring at remus from across the hall. He didn’t think much of it until the next afternoon when they were in the common room during their off period. He had gone into a coughing fit.

“so, Remus whats up with this ravenclaw boy that keeps flirting with you” James had been saying

“i honestly don’t know, we’ve only met a few times before, i mean i dont even know his name-” Remus’ answer was cut of by Sirius trying to hold in a cough which just made him go into a coughing fit.

“Are you sure you’re alright Sirius? Maybe you should go to Madam Pomfreys” Peter had said

“No I’m fine, its just a cold is all” Sirius insisted, while the others continued to look concerned but didn’t bother to argue. this went on for a few days until finally one night, Sirius decided to go to bed earlier then his friends and went into a coughing fit. He could feel something in the back of his throat, he almost gagged on it as he coughed it up and it landed in the palm of his hand. A flower petal, a small white flower petal. How had he coughed up a flower pedal? Sirius decided to keep this to himself he didn’t need his friends fussing and insisting he go to madam pomfrey, so he stuck it in the drawer of the night stand next to his bed and layed down to go to sleep.

Over the next week it just got worse, until eventually he coughed up a whole flower, a daffodil, a white daffodil. It had become a problem in his classes too, going into coughing fits every so often, until finally Mcgonagall sent him to Madam pomfreys. He insisted that he didn’t need to that it was just a cold.

 “Oh come on Minnie, It’s just a cold. i don’t need to go to madam pomfreys”  But she was more stubborn and, finally, he gave in. 

“Alright Alright im going” and he picked up his bag and started the walk over to the infirmary.

“hmm this is most unusual, i’ve only seen this a small handful of times” Madam Pomfrey had said, “what you’ve got Black, is called the Hanahaki disease” 

“Im sorry the what disease?” madam pomfrey made a small grunt of frustration

“The Hanahaki disease, its an extremely rare disease where the patient coughs up flower petals, it’s caused when someone suffers from a one sided love” she had a sad look on her face now. 

“well how do you cure it?” Sirius was more then ready to stop coughing up flowers, but madam pomfrey didn’t respond right away. She didn’t bustle off to get some potion for him to drink, she didn’t assure him that he’d be out of there in a couple days, or hours. She just stood there with a sad look on her face, until in a very quiet voice she responded

“it stops when the love is returned, or- or when- when the patient dies.” Sirius stared at her dumbfounded, he was going to die? 

“I- I’m going, to die?” he continued staring up at her from the bed he was sitting on. she let out a small sob and nodded slowly.

“I must go inform your head of house and the head master” she said quickly before bustling off to her office. Sirius couldn’t believe it, was he really going to die? there was still a chance though, if Remus could love him back, but he quickly shut that idea down. That wasn’t going to happen. 

Sirius layed down, resting his hands over his stomach and his ankles crossed, he stared up at the ceiling. Of all the times he thought he might die, this time was by far the scariest, his love for Remus was quite literally, was going to kill him. he could feel his eyes filling up with tears as he let out a shaky breath, and quickly blinked them away.

he wasn’t quite sure how long he was laying there before he heard voices, hushed whispers he couldn’t quite make out. He sat up slowly, using his hands to prop himself up, looking around for who was talking. He looked to his right to see madam pomfrey, mcgonagall, and dumbledore, they noticed him watching and made their way over.

“why the long faces?” sirius cracked a smile for a second before it disappeared. 

“so McG, how long have i got?” He said with false enthusiasm, and she let out a small, sad, chuckle.

“well madam pomfrey estimates a little- a little over a week” Sirius’ smile fell, he hadn’t expected to have such little time.

“oh,” he paused for a minute, a sad silence falling over them, “I don’t want anyone to know- please. and i can keep going to classes right?” he said the last part with a hopeful glint in his eyes. Madam pomfrey had looked surprised at this 

“go to classes? I must insist you stay in here” 

“no please i want to go to classes, i can’t stay in here until- until- please” he looked up at them with sad but hopeful look on his face.

“oh alright, there isnt much i can do anyways, but i must insist that if it starts to get bad you come here immediately” she said after a long pause 

“as for not telling your friends, if you dont wish for them to know then we have no right to tell them. although it is my personal opinion that you should, your friends care deeply for you. yet i will not make you” Dumbledore spoke for the first time, as he looked sadly at Sirius.

---

the next week went pretty normally for the most part. James, Remus, and Peter had gotten increasingly more worried with each passing day, but gave up pestering Sirius about it, because each time they would he would get annoyed or just change the subject. It was nice that they cared but he just didn’t want them to treat him any different than usual, which they were sure to do if he told them he was dying.

Sirius was in their dorm alone having another coughing fit, he could feel the flower in the back of his throat, except it felt longer, was more painful. He could feel it scratching his throat as it cam up slowly until the head of the daffodil was in his mouth. He reached into his mouth and pulled it out the rest of the way, gagging as he did so. He gasped for breath as the flower fell on to his bed, he could taste the metallic flavor of the blood in his throat.  He looked down at the flower on his bed, a beautiful white daffodil, stem and all. this wasn’t the last one with a stem, oh no far from it. 

they got worse as time went by, he had to excuse himself at least once per class period so he could pull out the flowers. All his teachers were informed of his disease, so they never tried to stop him. by the end of the week his throat had been scratched raw, and he was coughing blood regularly.

---

Sirius knew he only had a few days left if that, when James had walked in on him siting on his bed crying softly. James didn’t ask what was wrong, he didn’t say anything. He just walked over to Sirius and hugged him, it was almost like he knew, like he knew Sirius’ time was limited. they sat like that for awhile, Sirius sniffling every now and then with James’ arm wrapped around him.

it was 2 days latter when Sirius walked out of charms and headed straight for the bathroom, he could feel it in the back of his throat as he all but ran to the bathroom. He burst the door open running over to the sink as he tried to cough up the daffodil. This one was much worse then usual, he could feel the blood in the back of his throat with the daffodil. he fell onto his knees, his hands in front of him holding himself up. his vision was blurry as gagged and choked on the flower trying to get it out. when he felt a pair of arms around him, someone was calling his name.

“Sirius, Sirius!” it was Remus, he must’ve followed him when he walked out of class. it was another few seconds before Sirius finally coughed up the flower, and quite a bit of blood too. But he still couldn't breathe properly, he felt his eyes brimming with tears as he thought, this is it, im dying, he heard Remus yelling for James.

“JAMES! JAMES GET IN HERE!” he heard the door fly open and a few seconds later felt another pair of hands helping him up. he looked back at the floor, it was a gruesome sight, a pool of blood with a disturbingly beautiful snow white daffodil in the middle. It took sirius a minute to realize that they were walking, that they had left the bathroom already, in fact they were almost to the infirmary. 

Sirius could hear crying, was it remus? was he crying? he heard another set of doors open and Peter yelling for help. Peter, when did Peter get here? had he been here the whole time?

madam pomfrey came rushing over telling James and Remus where to lay Sirius down. He heard her insisting that they leave, that they wait outside. He heard their protests, saying they wanted to stay with their friend. Sirius had started to cry, he didn’t want to go, he didn’t want to leave his friends.

---

Remus was sitting in charms with Sirius, James, and Peter when Sirius stood up abruptly and rushed out. Sirius had done this almost every class period. Remus looked over at james and peter who also wore concerned expressions. 

“come on” muttered remus, and they all stood up and followed after sirius.

Sirius had been sick ever since the train ride to school and every time any of them brought it up he got frustrated and changed the subject. well no more they wanted to know what was wrong and they weren’t leaving till the got them.Not only this, but he had been acting even weirder since his trip to madam pomfreys last week when mcgonagall had made him go.

“i’ll go in and see if he’s alright, and you two wait out here, sound good?” remus looked at James and Peter who both nodded in agreement. 

remus opened the bathroom door and walked in to find sirius kneeling on the floor with a very small pool of blood under where his head was hanging. “oh my gosh” remus said quietly, rushing over to him. remus fell down to his knees next to sirius, and wrapped his arms around him. 

“sirius, sirius!” remus tried to get his attention but he didnt respond. his coughs were shaking his whole body as he coughed something up, was it? was that a flower? he coughed up a lot of blood, they were now almost sitting in a small pool of it. remus thought maybe sirius would be able to catch his breath now he had coughed up the flower but he couldnt. remus could hear sirius trying, and failling to breath in enough air. they needed to get him to madam pomfreys, but remus couldnt get sirius up on his own.

“JAMES! JAMES GET IN HERE!” James burst in through the door, and only froze for a second at the sight before rushing over to sirius’ other side to help him up.

“we need to get to madam pomfreys” remus informed jamesas they lifted him up, one arm over each of their shoulders. they walked with sirius in between them down to the infirmary, as they walked sirius had started to cry still trying to breathe properly

“it’s alright” james had started whispering to sirius, although he was so out of it, he probably didn’t hear him. 

once they got to the infirmary peter went ahead of them to hold open the door and call for madam pomfrey.

“madam pomfrey, help! its sirius!” she was there in an instant directing them where to put him down,,

“there that bed there, set him down. nice and easy now.” as soon as they had let him down madam pomfrey was telling them to wait outside.

“i need you guys to wait outside, you dont need to see this” they immediately started protesting.

“no im not leaving!”

“he needs us!”

“we’re his friends!”

but they gave in and waited outside.

as soon as they were outside remus collapsed into a ball onto the floor, and started crying. James and Peter sat next to him, James putting his arm around him and pulled him into his side.

“is he going to die? there was so much blood, he was covered in it” Peter had said quietly in his squeaky voice.

“dont talk like that peter, of course not” james had said, even though he wasnt quite sure he believed it. they sat there for a small moment before remus finally spoke.

“i love him” was all he said, in a soft, broken voice. “i can’t lose him, i- i cant”

James pulled him closer and said “i know, i know you do moony” James was letting his tears fall freely now as he rested his head on remus’

---

sirius rolled over onto his side hacking and coughing, he could see madam pomfrey there holding a bin for him to cough up anything he needed to. when suddenly he could breathe again, just like that. he took in a deep breathe and let it out, doing that a few times. his vision started clearing up, everything wasn’t so black, he rolled over onto his back and took a deep breath of sweet sweet fresh air.

----

a/n: sorry this ended up being much longer then i originally intended,  anyway i hope you enjoyed! i might post this again later but not sure yet.. also if this is terrible im so sorry, i havent  written in ages and i didnt proof read this 

[dbssh]

Do all the prime numbers!!!

2 - What is your character’s happiest memory?

Aja and Hutch would both probably say the day Casey was born.

3 - What’s one skill your character really wishes they had?

Aja really wishes she could play music. She also wants nice handwriting but thats neither here nor there.

5 - Do they like music? If so, what kind of music do they enjoy?

I ACTUALLY HAVE PLAYLISTS SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS. aja, casey, victor, and hutch

7 - Have they ever encountered someone they really wanted to kill?

well. aja and victor have definetly at some point wanted to kill each other so theres that!

11 - What was something they struggled with greatly and how did they overcome it?

Aja has always struggled with self-worth and morality. Honestly she still hasn't really "overcome" it entirely.

13 - Does your character have anyone that they really care about, to the point that they would give their life for them?

In all honesty, Aja would probably die for anyone if thats what was necessary. She's got a big thing about being Heroic and Good and if protecting someone else, anyone else, means putting her own life in danger, she'll do it without hesitation.

17 - How was their childhood? Did their parents treat them fairly? Did they have any really good friends?

Hutch's childhood was pretty nice, until their mom passed. Their best friends were their brothers and cousins, and they didn't really ever have a lot of friends outside of that.

19 - Have they ever lost a loved one?

uhhh well. uh. the only one who hasnt actually lost anyone is Casey. everyone else is just like. My whole family is dead dot jpeg.

23 - Does your character know any languages apart from their native language? What one would they like to learn?

Victor speaks german and french, Hutch speaks spanish and gnomish, and Casey speaks spanish. Aja knows a little spanish but not really enough to be fluent, and she'd like to learn more.

29 - If they could change just one thing about themselves, what would it be?

Hutch would make themselves taller, Casey would make herself shorter. Victor would fix his eyesight so he didn't need glasses anymore. Aja is very adamant that she will not edit her body and that she has to learn to coexist with it and that thinking about this kind of stuff is a waste of time.

31 - How patient is your character with others? Do they find it easy to handle people that try and bug them, or hard?

Aja has worked very very hard to learn to be patient and calm, and she's kind of hard to irritate. Hutch is, on the other hand, very irritable especially if you hit em in the right place. They're kinda insecure lol. Victor is also pretty insecure and irritable tho he tends to just get mopey when his ego is bruised.

37 - How advanced is the technology in your character’s world? Do they have mobile phones and high-tech computers yet or have they far surpassed that?

my worldbuilding technique is called "exactly what i need it to be for the scene with very little internal consistency and just trust me guys".

41 - Where do they live? What is that place like, do they enjoy living there?

Aja and Hutch live in the little middle of nowhere town Hutch grew up in. It's really nice! they live about 30 minutes from the town proper so theyre pretty isolated, and its a small town made of mostly non-human folk anyways so they don't really have to worry about things like they do in bigger cities.

43 - What are they like when they’re drunk?

Aja can't get drunk so she doesnt drink. Hutch is like... themselves but a bit more bold with less self control. sometimes they get really mopey though.

47 - If your character could be any other species, what would they be?

i dont know! never thought about it

53 - Do they have an alternate form?

victor has his lich form! and casey has (redacted)

61 - What would have to be the most interesting thing about where your character lives?

uhhh idk! its very plain and a bit old-fashioned.

71 - How is your character’s bedroom? Is it small, big, colourful, simple, messy, organised, filled with their things, shared…? 

aja and hutch's room is mostly bed because they have a Large bed because it has to be big enough to fit aja comfortably, but they also have lots of shelves and drawers and just Stuff! they both have a lot of little things they collected over the years and they both love having Things so. lots of knicknacks and photos and souviniers.

73 - If your character knew what they know now when they were younger would they do things in their life differently?

this is actually one of the big points of tension between aja and victor, because she doesnt like to wonder about this kind of thing and for him, thinking about how he couldve done everything differently is one of the Only things he thinks about. but no, Aja wouldnt really change anything if given the opportunity because she doesnt want to put the life she has now, with Hutch and Casey, in jepoardy, and she doesnt know if she would be there without what happened in her past. Victor would do literally everything differently if given the chance tho. this man has never made a decision he didnt regret.

79 - Which one do they prefer; knowing when they die or how they die?

hutch doesnt really care either way, they try to live in the moment. Aja would want to know when, Victor would want to know how so he could do everything in his power to avoid it.

83 - Have they ever had to tell someone a lie to protect them? Did they regret doing it or not?

this is a bitch answer but no not really

89 - Does your character like the ocean, or are they more of a land person? Perhaps they prefer specific bodies of water, like ponds and rivers, or specific locations on the land, like forests and mountains?

Aja loves the ocean, but shes equally as passionate about any bit of nature. Hutch cant swim 😔 they prefer the land, with a definite love of hot places and desert areas. Casey loves any and all natural places like her mama. Victor doesnt give a shit either way but mountains are ok i geuss.

[pbandjesse]

I felt a lot better today. I accomplished some stuff. It was very pretty out. It was a good day. 

I slept kind of weird. I woke up a few times. I got tangled in my blankets. But it was all good. I woke up at 8 and was like. Oh. Okay. But I kept sleeping until 9. When I actually got up. I am glad I am kind of falling into a schedule but I want to be more intentional with it this upcoming week. 

I got a shower and got dressed and honestly felt excellent. My eye liner looked excellent. I felt happy. James was finishing his yoga and went to get a shower afterwards. Then made breakfast. He made me a sandwich and he made himself pancakes. And I started doing some organizing.

Something nice about our apartment is that we get light on both sides. On the bedroom side in the morning, and the living room side in the afternoon. So I am trying to just chase where the sun is. So I organized my drawers and closet. Folded away all our winter stuff like scarves and hats. Felt good. I want to do more but honestly Im running out of things to organize. Which is annoying but not actually true. Its just the stuff I want to organize is running low. So I organize again. 

I went through my trunk of extra lotions and potions. Pulled out some different conditioner because I hated the smell of the one I used the other day. Tidied that up in there. Pulled out the jar of small bar soaps I have since we are almost out of liquid hand soap. 

I also worked on some art. Used my little froggie stamp. I didnt make a frog today but that little bit of coloring was fun. I also worked on our train set up and I am starting to run low on some stuff. Like grit medium. But Im working hard still. I cut down the little trees I made too and then James afixed them to the one hill. I have to make some more now. But thats alright. I will just have to get more sticks. Outside sticks this time. 

I also painted my kalimba today. I had seen that one yesterday an dI was like. Why had I not thought of that. So I first tried to fill in the little words on the front. Use some of the spakle for that. I think it worked okay. I painted it blue with differnt tones for a bit. And then traced my new acrylic earrings to get the stars and moon. I am very pleased. I think it looks so pretty. 

I didnt go outside today. It was to windy. But it did look really pretty. James did some cleaning. He;s trying to be better about not just surface cleaning and actually cleaning behind and under stuff. Proud of him for trying. Were both trying. 

I chilled in bed and texted with Jess. I watched videos of people scamming phone scammers. That was fun. I honestly had a pretty excellent day. 

I am only lightly following the news. Just checking in and then turning off. Because it upsets me to bad. But now they are saying we should all be wearing masks when we go outside. Not that Im going into public at all right now. But I went on ebay and was able to grab me and James a couple. I had put a bunch in my cart to compare and when I chose the kind I wanted to get all of a sudden they were sold out. So everyone is having those thoughts right now. Im glad I was able to grab the few I got. They should be here next week. Most of the listings wouldnt be out until after may.

Honestly I am trying not to think about to much of the future. Like what is canceled and things. Cause this morning they annouced the philadelphia art museum is closed until June 30th. And the BMI is having a meeting on monday and Im almost sure they are going to have to start laying us off. And like. Summer camp is probably not happening. And it makes me tear up because I was so excited about that. And I can hear some people saying "People are dying and weddings and graduations are being canceled. Get a grip." But like. Im allowed to have those feelings. Im allowed to mourn the loss of things I was excited for. And still grieve for the people who are hurting worse. Just because my pain is smaller doesnt make it not real. Please dont minimiize eachother's pain. It just causes more guilt. 

And Im dealing with enough of that. 

Tomorrow I hope to go out in the yard. Play some more music. Enjoy my boyfriend's company. Try to do some things that are just nice. Work on my painting. I want to do a PD that Tiffany had recommended. Well see how that works out. 

I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well. Be safe.  

[maknaesdancersrappers]

eating for two.

special chapter to the baby dont stop series

warning/s: suggestive (mutual masturbation)

It’s been a year and a half of being married the one and only love of your life and it’s been nothing but a dream come true.

Both of you fell into a routine of waking up together, Taeyong would cook breakfast for both of you while you take a shower. Eating together and then he takes his turn in the bathroom while you do the dishes.

You work at the same company; the same nine-to-five office job, but at just different departments. After work and going home, you’re in charge of dinner and he’ll be the one to clean up.

And of course, depending on how draining the day was, you end the night by making love; relieving each other of the stress from work, reminding each other of your love, or as you’re secretly hoping for; making a baby.

Taeyong is in no rush to have a kid, and you’re not either, but it would be nice to have a mini you and/or mini him running around soon. You’ve been long off your birth control and investing in a lot of skincare to keep your hormonal acne in check when your period comes around. At one point, you’re starting to think one of you could be infertile at how you’re still not able to get pregnant. You even made sure to go rounds after rounds on the day you’re period tracker tells you you’re on your ovulation period.

And then it happens.

One early morning, you woke up feeling sick and ran to bathroom to throw up. You don’t want to jump to conclusions, but as you’re trying to find reasons as to why you’re heaving the contents of your stomach into the toilet bowl, you just couldn’t think of any. Your period isn’t due until next week either.

Taeyong was at a small gathering last night with friends and had a drink too many that he’s completely wiped out; he didn’t even budge when you threw his arm off of you to run to the bathroom. As you tuck yourself back in his arms, you decide not to tell him first, just in case it was a false alarm.

You’re incredibly careful at purchasing multiple pregnancy tests and hiding them where he doesn’t usually check - which is almost close to impossible because he does a lot of cleaning around the house, too, so you couldn’t store it away in the storage cabinet. You would hide it where you keep your pads and tampons, but it’s beside the hair dryer both of you use from time to time. You ended up hiding it in your underwear drawer because you’re pretty sure he doesn’t have some weird kink with panties that makes him go through them or sniff them or anything. hopefully

Another thing you had to worry about was how you were going to take the tests and wait for the results without Taeyong wondering why you’re taking too long in the bathroom. Luckily for you, he was chosen by his department head to accompany him to an out of town trip. It was a an overnight trip but it’s more than enough for you to take the tests.

“Have a safe trip, baby,” You adjust your purse on your arm before kissing his cheek. It was Friday night and they were traveling tonight to attend the conference tomorrow noon instead of waiting for the wee hours of the morning to set off.

Taeyong kisses you back on your forehead after he hands you the car keys. “You, too. Double check the locks before you go to sleep, okay?”

“Okay, dad.” You roll your eyes, but you almost blush because he could very well be one in a few months.

“You’ll be gone for a day, Lee. We’ll be back by the evening.” His department head, Mr. Shim Changmin, approaches both of you. “It’s good to have a little solo time, too, in marriages.”

You bow your head at him as he’s still one of your superiors. “Of course. I’ll be maximizing my ‘me time’ this weekend.”

“I got you a few bath bombs to try.” Taeyong informs you, running his hand down your back. “They’re in the cabinet below the sink.”

“Aw, thanks.” You debate for a second whether or not to give him a peck since his superior was right there but Mr. Shim receives a call and he excuses himself to pick it up, allowing you to quickly kiss Taeyong’s cheek. “I’ll try it to tomorrow... do you want pics?”

You say it low enough for him to hear and it immediately brings a bright red tinge on his cheeks. He chuckles, licking his lips, “Well, I’d have to proof that you’re using it, don’t I?”

His hands are itching to tickle your waist, but you’re quick to pull away. “Then I will. I should go ahead, traffic will be piling up soon.”

“Take care. I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too. Text me when you arrive at your hotel, okay?” With one last kiss, you head home. You order food for dinner; too anxious to cook and while waiting for it, took all the pregnancy tests and lined them up on the bathroom counter.

As you wait for the results, pacing back and forth outside the bathroom; your food arrives and for thirty minutes you genuinely forgot about the tests until you had to go in wash up for bed.

You’re looking at the tests, double checking the back of their packages about what the lines and colors mean. And all of them say the same thing: positive. You’re pregnant. You wanted to cry out of joy; there’s life in your belly, a little mix of you and Taeyong. Despite the numerous tests that tell you you’re pregnant, you wanted to be extra sure and planned to go to your doctor as soon as her office opens tomorrow morning.

As you lie down for the night, the bed too spacious for your liking as Taeyong’s spot is empty, you curl up on your side and place a hand on your stomach. You know you’ve been waiting and hoping for it, but you can’t believe a baby is growing in your womb right now. You’re trying not to think ahead of it like what the gender could possibly be or what his/her name is, you’re just glad you don’t have to worry about Taeyong taking the news since you knew he wants to have a kid just as much as you do.

And as if on cue, your phone rings.

“Hey, baby, I just got to my room at my hotel.” His voice fills the room as you put his call on speaker. “Are you in bed? Did I wake you up?”

“Not at all, I just got in.” You hum, fighting off the urge to tell him the news. “Before you ask, yes, I did double check the locks. They’re closed and I’m safe.”

“Good.” He chuckles. You could hear clothes rustling and you’re guessing he’s changing out of them. “What did you have for dinner?”

“I ordered some pork cutlets and jjajangmyeon. Have you eaten?”

“We ate at a Chinese restaurant before checking in. I just had noodles and some dumplings.”

Maybe it’s all in your head or maybe it’s your pregnancy talking, but you’re suddenly craving for some soup dumplings. “That sounds good. Maybe I’ll have Chinese takeout tomorrow for lunch.”

He laughs at this, “Are you really not going to cook for yourself at all while I’m gone?”

“I will, it’s just that I don’t want to cook if my husband isn’t here to eat and compliment it.” You sigh, “I already miss you.”

“I miss you, too... are you okay?”

“Yeah. What makes you think otherwise?”

“I didn’t mean you weren’t, it’s just that... you sound different? A little dreamy? Mellow?”

“Oh... well, I did just have a nice hot shower.” You lied, “So I’m relaxed and ready for bed.”

“We should both get to sleep then, huh? Good night, baby, sweet dreams.”

“Good night, love. Sweet dreams.”

The following morning, you spend a good half an hour vomiting into your toilet bowl and the other half trying to look for something to eat that isn’t triggering you to run back into the bathroom once its’ scent hits your nostrils after calling up your doctor for an immediate appointment.

In the next hour, you’re already at the clinic; texting Taeyong and pretending to be out on an errand like grocery shopping before going through the check up with your doctor.

“Congratulations, [Y/N]. You’re definitely pregnant, about 7 weeks in.” She smiles up at you as she points out the fetus through the monitor of the ultrasound.

You have a photo taken of the ultrasound and after scheduling more check ups with your doctor and going through a list of the things you are now not allowed to do and things you should do as pregnant woman, you head back home.

You decided to run a bath, trying to decide how to tell Taeyong when he gets home. You remembered the bath bombs he told you about and took them out of the cabinet, choosing a lavender scented one. Grabbing your phone, you take a video of you dropping the bath bomb it and letting it bubble up for a good minute before sending it to Taeyong.

Almost immediately, he replies, “You’re lucky we just got back from brunch.”

It’s around 10:30 and you know the conference is at noon so you know he has time to spare. You shed off your clothes and step into the bath, sinking into warm water with a moan. You keep one arm out of the water to dial your husband and wait for the video call to connect.

Once it does, you hear the shower running on his end of the call and you see him trying to look for a place to put his phone up on. “How’s the bath bomb?”

“It smells amazing.” You show the lavender colored water; not even shy about how your breasts were on full display. “I wish you were here. We should try the rose one when you get back later.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” He sighs. You watch him step back into the cascading water, biting down on your lower lip when he tilts his head back to expose his throat to you. It was a little annoying how the camera just cut off below his abdomen; barely showing the base of his cock. “What did you get from the grocery?”

“Hm?” You’re confused for a second until you realized that was the excuse you gave him when you were at your doctor. “Oh, just a few fruits and snacks. I wanted cupcakes, though, so I might go back out later.”

“Can you get me some, too?” He looks back at you through the camera.

“Sure.”

“What are you doing after?”

You sit back against the tub after resting your phone on a stand, massaging your arms with the scented water. “I might lounge around after lunch, maybe clean up the house a bit.”

He’s washed up his hair as you tell them this, rinsing off the suds and reaching for his body wash. As he squirts it into his hand and begins to lather it, he asks, “Can I see you, baby?”

You hum, “Hm? Can’t you see me now?”

“All of you, baby.”

Oh. You sit up a bit to move your phone to the other end of the bathtub, directly across you, and move to lean back. You part your legs, making sure he can see your everything even through the colored water.

Twenty minutes later, the video call ended. He’s satisfied, you’re satisfied, the water’s cold now but your body still feels hot. When you get out of the bath and dress for the rest of day after you dry off, you feel giddy. You’re so excited to tell Taeyong about the baby and you have an inkling on how you were going to announce it to him.

After lunch and lounging around, you head back out to your favorite bakery around six to pick up a few cupcakes and drove through a fast food chain at the sudden craving for something greasy even though you marinated some meat to cook for dinner.

Back in your home, as you munched on nuggets with one hand while cradling a double pattied burger with the other, you keep eyeing the cupcakes on the kitchen counter and hope everything goes to plan and Taeyong would understand what you mean.

Taeyong announces he’s home around ten and you’re running up to him a like giddy little child, jumping into his arms and peppering his face with kisses. “Did you miss me that much?”

“I’ve been wanting to eat the cupcakes all night, but I wanted to wait for you.” You confess, which is actually true. Aside from wanting to reveal the pregnancy, all the salt and grease from your dinner needed to be washed down with something sweet - you would have opted for wine, but obviously, you weren’t allowed to.

He sets his bags aside and laughs, letting you lead him to the kitchen, “You didn’t have to wait. I was planning to eat it tomorrow.”

You stop and turn to him with a frown - almost pout - on your face, “After I waited hours so I could enjoy these cupcakes with you?”

“I’m kidding! What flavors did you get?”

Pulling the box of cupcakes across the countertop, you open up the lid, “Vanilla, chocolate, and red velvet. Which one do you want?”

He hums, resting a hand on your hip and pulling you close, “Chocolate.”

You hand it to him and as he peels the paper off, you drag the remaining cupcakes towards you, “That’s yours and these are mine.”

You’re hoping he comments about it, jokingly or even passively, and he does; giving you a pout, “Why do you get two?”

You inhale deeply, looking at the cupcakes - and although seeing them up close and catching a whiff of its sickeningly sweet scent makes you want to hurl - you shrug as casually as you can, “Because I’m eating for two now.”

“Ah.” He nods, about to take a bite until he suddenly stops, mouth agape and cupcake suspended inches from his lips. He looks back at you, “You’re what?”

“Eating for two.” You repeat, swallowing your saliva. “D-do you understand what that means?”

He blinks at you for a while, gaze dropping to your stomach, and then back up at you. He puts the cupcake down and stares at you for a few more seconds. “Are you pregnant?”

You smile, nodding vigorously. 

“I-” He grins, pulling you by your waist and looking back down at your midsection, “This isn’t a joke? You’re serious? I’m going to be a dad?”

“You’re going to be dad.” You confirm with a little giggle at how his eyes are just wide and sparkling.

“We’re going to be parents?” He asks once more and you’re laughing, answering his question with another nod. He picks you up, hugging you tightly and squealing along with you. “When did you find out?”

As he sets you down, you shrugged, “I felt sick the other day and I took pregnancy tests last night - they all came back positive.”

“Last night? And you didn’t tell me?”

“I had to make sure! So I went to my doctor and-” You flinch, internally scolding yourself for forgetting about the sonograph in your purse. You run over to it and Taeyong curiously follows after you. “I wanted to be very, very, very sure that I was pregnant before I told you.”

“Is this our baby?” He takes the picture from your hands and you quickly show him as what your doctor had said. “I can’t believe this.”

“Do you think we’re ready to have kids?”

He puts the photo down and takes your hands, “I do... and if we’re not, we have months to prepare.”

“Are you ready to have fat, bloated, and moody wife?” You half-joked, pursing your lips at the thought of your belly swelling up in the next few months.

“No, because I will always only have a beautiful, loving, deserving wife.” He kisses you with each description, “I couldn’t have asked for anyone else to be a mother of my child.” 

“Alright.” You roll your eyes before gazing back into his eyes, “I love you.”

He scrunches his nose and gives you an eskimo kiss, eliciting a little laugh from you. “I love you, too.”

bonus end scene:

“Wait,” You pull away from him all of a sudden, your hair disheveled and clothes gone.

Taeyong drops his head to the bed and blinks up at you, out of breath, “What?”

“I have to call you daddy before our kids do.”

“O-okay? But... in what context-”

“As in, I’ve been really, really bad while you were gone, daddy. I need to be punished.” You say in your best sultry voice, tracing the tip of your finger down his abdomen. “I’m sorry, daddy.”

He lets out a little scoff, quickly turning your positions around, “Is that so?”

[remmiesaloser]

13 Years | 4 Weeks

honestly, I dont know which of the two have been longer in my life. 

so recently I ended a 13 year long relationship with the guy I've been dating since my freshman year of high school. it took me this long to understand, acknowledge, and accept the relationship was emotionally (and borderline physically) abusive and thanks two my two best friends and a very nice therapist I asked him to move out.

I thought the overwhelming life style change would be the hardest. I haven't been alone since I was 14 and it took me a long time to build up the courage to end things because I am terrified of change and had little to no idea what to do without him. to my surprise I've adapted to being alone pretty well. the loneliness does get to me sometimes - I miss those moments we had where we could have a conversation without speaking. I miss over a decade’s worth of inside jokes, and it still hurts when I see something and instantly think of him cause it was our thing.

its a daily struggle to remind myself why I did this because its frighteningly easy to minimize the damage he did when he’s not here to do it every day. the gaslighting and emotional manipulation isn't something that just switches off or diminishes with distance. somehow, in some super shitty, unfair way, it gets worse. because im left alone with my thoughts that he’s managed to turn against me and they’re still working angles for him that catch me off-guard sometimes. I still battle with guilt for making him move out, because I feel terrible that now he’s stuck living with his mom and all his things are in boxes. and I hate that it’s gonna take a long time for that to go away. 

but I digress. because all of that isn’t the hardest part. the hardest part is getting him the fuck out of this apartment. we 'ended things’ April 5th. there are quotes around that because we haven’t officially broken up. like, I told him I needed a break till he gets his shit together, and he’s all but moved out, but I haven’t even changed our relationship status on Facebook (yay, guilt!) and we haven't really agreed that we’re broken up. Jesus, again I digress. ANYWAYS. I knew it was gonna be a process to move him out because our lives are so intertwined that we’ve had to go through rooms and drawers and boxes one by one separating our shit. and this process has been fucking agonizing because he is dragging his goddamn feet. 

Initially I thought we were gonna bang this out in a weekend, get all the shit out and be done. A month later, and there’s still a pile of his shit at the top of the stairs, a handful of things in the corner of the living room (including the giant china cabinet filled with his things) and his grandmother’s dishes in my cupboards. but that’s a post for another day. because right now im just gonna vent about him taking his sweet ass time, being insanely petty, and still somehow fucking manipulating me when he doesn’t even live here anymore. 

honestly the pettiness and inconsideration for my own time and requests is the biggest thing that’s getting to me, what’s driving me to write this. most of the time he’s been here for his shit, his mom’s been with him, and I was chalking up a lot of the pettiness to her. because he’d be here to get the things from the living room, and hours after they'd left I’d notice small things had been taken from other parts of the house. now some of the stuff he’s taken was his, just something I was using with him that I’d assumed he’d at least mention he was taking. im a lot of things, but selfish isn’t one of them and honestly unless it’s something from my family or something that I bought that was expensive, I don’t care. he can have it. It’s more the fact that, when I need something all of a sudden I cant find it and realize he took it. 

like, his nana’s pots and pans. They’re a really nice set his mom let us have and I fully expected them gone. my only request was that he give me a heads up so I could go out and get my own set when he planned to take them because with them gone, all I’d have left is a few frying pans. This is our conversation from that weekend:  

This was Saturday afternoon. He never told me he wasn’t going to come by Saturday, and gave me a 15 minute heads up he was on his way over on Sunday - which did me no good because I wasn’t even home. That meant I couldn’t clean out the dressers (I didnt want to do it until the day he was going to get them because I would have to leave my clothes on the bed until I could get my own dresser from my parent’s house once his were gone). When I got home, all of my clothes were thrown on my bed and the ground.I had to rewash a bunch of shit, refold everything, and then clean the entire room from the mess that was made. 

fucking on top of that, his mom decided to take the pots and pans. I’d specifically asked him Saturday because I was going to Walmart and could have bought a new set for myself while there. I didn't want to buy them until I needed to because I’m trying to save money and didn’t get paid that weekend, so I figured if he’s not taking them I don’t need to get things until I get paid next weekend. Wrong. I had to go out that night again and get a set because, as I said, all I had were 3 frying pans and a skillet thing. Oddly enough, she didn’t take the dishes. They were her mom’s, just like the pots and pans, and for some reason she didn’t want them... don’t worry, I already plan to pack them up this weekend and give them back because lord knows what’ll happen if I dont and she decides she wants them six years from now. 

honestly though the biggest level of petty was the Tylenol PM. I know, it’s not a big deal. But it’s just one of those little things that I stopped and was like, are you fucking kidding me. I noticed that, after taking his bed and dressers, the pack of tissues he’d got us from Sam’s was gone. Again, he bought them, whatever. would’ve been nice for him to tell me so I had a heads up to fucking get them when I was at Walmart but whatever. he also took a 6-pack of toilet paper he’d gotten literally the day we ended things (because he’d gone to king Soopers with his mother instead of talking to me about the fight we’d had) and he’d initially told me to keep it, it was for me anyways. I noticed just last weekend it was gone. 

but the fucking Tylenol PM. I'm not one to buy brand name medicine. if I can get store brand, I will. Almost all my medicine is store brand except that Tylenol PM because I was really sick one year and wanted the good stuff. Y’all know how expensive Tylenol is. I sprang for it, and I used it sparingly because I didnt want to have to buy more if I didn’t really need it. Well, two weekends ago I fell down a fucking mountain. I was running a trail down a mountain, tripped, flew through the air, and landed on my shoulder and kneecap. It still hurts, and that day I was in a lot of pain. The regular Tylenol and Ibuprofen that I’d been switching back and forth with all day just wasn’t doing the trick and I was like, okay. this is a Tylenol PM kind of pain. That night, right before bed, I went to grab it from the bathroom cabinet. 

it was gone. the rest of my medicines, the store brand acetaminophen and store brand ibuprofen, those were still there, but the Tylenol PM was gone. It has exclusively only lived either on the dresser/nightstand in the bedroom, or the bathroom cabinet. as he took the dresser and nightstand, and it wasn’t in the cabinet, it had been taken. I cannot tell you how livid I was. it still pisses me off. because of all the things to take he took that. Not the rest of his bathroom shit, not even all his shit from the bedroom. but he took the Tylenol PM. I even asked if he knew where it might be - thinking he’d come across it at some point. he told me “it’s always been in the linen closet” where the rest of our medicines are. It was never there, but I checked the entire closet just in case - nothing. Again, I know it’s small. it’s just a bottle of pills. but it’s the whole damn thought behind it. 

there’s more things too - the fact that no, he doesn’t take all his things from a certain room, and I have to then box the rest of his shit up, move it out of my way, and clean the room that he trashed. 

It’s the fact that 90% of the things on our walls were his (which helps show me how little say I had on my own things in the apartment I exclusively pay for) and now that he’s taken them, he’s left the walls, hooks, and nails behind. most of them are up way above my head - he needed a ladder to put them in - and now they’re littered all over the wall. today, as he worked to get the shit from our front bedroom (hopefully the last things he’ll need to get) I asked him if he could also get the nails and hooks out of the wall because I can’t reach them. he asked me, “did you try using the step-ladder?”. I answered no, and he simply said, “that should work then”. Like, no. you put those up, so you could display all the things of yours YOU wanted to display (3 out of 4 walls in the room were covered with his things) and now he can’t even take the tacks down even though he took the hangings down. 

and then of course, it’s the fact that he just leaves a mess in his wake. when he first moved things out of the living room it was a mess. I spent hours rearranging shit, packing up the rest of his shit that he left behind, and then cleaning up everything because I still have to live here. it was the same with the bedroom. and now it’s gonna be the same thing with the front room. I told him today that everything needs to be out by next weekend because I can’t do this every weekend. He asked what I meant by ‘this’ and explained that I was tired of having to clean up everything that got messed up. He told me simply “it’s not being destroyed. I’m just taking my things”. At the moment the entire room was in shambles, everything askew from him digging his things out and leaving my stuff lying in piles. It’s cleaned up now - save the pile of boxes and junk at the top of the stairs - but I told him I have to clean up the mess that’s left behind. He didn’t have an answer for that. 

Honestly there’s really not a point to this. I’m just pissed, I’m annoyed, and I’m angry, and I’m sad. I’m just tired. And I wanted to vent. So if you stuck with me through this, I wanna thank you for listening. I appreciate being heard, because I haven’t been for so long. your time means a lot to me. 

[cas-lost-grace]

Dare

As demanded by @mythicalesbian , @dascean , @ailuromatron , @theladydetective , @anxious-gay-dinosaur , @casbeanie (I probably forgot someone)

A sequel of Truth or Dare, explicit, college!au, first time, friends to lovers

It must be Murphy’s law that when you drunkenly decide to do something you don’t have the courage for while sober, the moment you are about to actually do it, you instantly sober up.

Dean watches as Cas closes the door and sits on Dean’s bed and his head is suddenly painfully clear.

Dean leans his back against the door and runs his hands over his face.

"Dean? Are you okay?"

Dean shakes his head but doesn’t elaborate.

Castiel stands up and with a concerned expression on his face walks towards Dean.

"What’s wrong?" he asks tilting his head.

"Do you... do you really want to do it?"

"What? Finger you? Yes. I’d like to suck your cock too if that’s fine."

Dean closes his eyes and lets his head hit the door.

"How can you just... we- we’re-"

"Friends?"

Dean looks at him and nods, glad that he understands.

"Yes, we are, Dean. But I’m also very attracted to you. And it´s mutual judging by how determined you’ve been all night to get me undressed."

Dean’s lips part, but he doesn’t get a chance to say anything.

Cas gives him a small sad smile and brushes his fingertips down Dean’s jaw.

"But you’re right, Dean. We shouldn’t do it. Not like this, not because of a dare. If I’m ever going to do anything sexual with you, it has to be because you actually want it." With that, he reaches around Dean for the door handle.

For a moment, Dean imagines he lets Cas go, then wakes up in the morning still wanting him but never ever finding the courage so they will stay very frustrated friends.

"Wait!"

Cas looks at him. His eyes are wide and his cheeks are still flushed and he’s wearing just his boxers. How the hell could Dean let him go?

"I want it," Dean basically spits the words out. Cas squints at him.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah I’m sure just... could we like... maybe... kiss first? If that’s okay?"

Cas looks like he’s trying to hold back a grin, but his lips still curl into a smile.

"Of course, Dean. You didn’t expect me to throw you on the bed and just fuck you with my fingers, did you?"

"I-uh." Dean rubs the back of his neck, his cheeks feel on hot. Cas huffs out a laugh.

"Come here, you dumbass, let me kiss you."

Dean looks up and before he can realize that they are really about to do it, Cas is leaning in and pressing their lips together.

Technically it’s like any other first kiss. A little awkward and hesitant before they get in sync with each other.

But other than this, it’s totally different than any other kiss Dean’s ever had. Because it’s Cas. It’s Cas and his lips are very soft, his tongue pointy and downward sinful and his shoulders are firm under Dean’s hands and his hair is all fluffy and it’s Cas. Smart, kind, dorky Cas that Dean’s been fascinated by from the first moment he met him. And now they are kissing and it’s blowing Dean’s mind making him feel even drunker than he’s felt before.

"Still want it?" Cas asks, his lips bearly leaving Dean’s.

"More than ever," Dean answers truthfully.

 Dean’s still nervous as they stumble onto the bed, but Cas’ kisses distract him enough that he doesn’t entirely freak out when he finds himself on his back, his pants and underwear being pulled off.

"Wow, nice," Cas breathes out when Dean’s cock bobs against his belly. Dean’s cheeks feel so like they might go up in flames any minute.

"Thanks, I guess," he mutters. Cas chuckles and leans down to mouth at the base of Dean’s cock.

"Oh fuck!" Dean cries out. His arms fly up to grab the headboard.

Cas lets out another deep chuckle and rescues Dean’s feet from his clothes. He runs his palms up Dean’s hairy thighs, his stare is so intense on Dean’s body it’s almost unbearable. Dean tries not to twitch as Cas’ touch gives him goosebumps.

Cas’ hands tighten on Dean’s hipbones and he actually licks his lips before diving down and swallowing Dean’s cock.

Dean gasps for breath. He’s had blowjobs before, quite a lot, but nobody has ever blown him like this, with such devotion, like Dean’s the best thing he’s ever had in his mouth. Dean makes a sound that’s halfway between a moan and a sob, desperately trying not to push deeper into Cas’ throat.

Cas pulls off with an obscene wet sound and looks at Dean. His lips are even pinker than normally and his blue irises are almost entirely swallowed up by black pupils. Dean clenches his teeth feeling like he might come from the sight alone.

"So," Cas says as he straightens and pushes lightly at Dean’s knees to make him bent them. "When you did it yourself, how many fingers did you take?"

Dean’s boiling blood all drained to his cock but now it’s in his cheeks again.

"Just one," he admits breathlessly. "And I’ve never been with a guy." He bites his lip the moments the words are out. He has no idea why he said it. Cas’ eyes widen in surprise and for a brief moment, Dean dreads that Cas might back off.

"Not at all?" Cas asks. Dean shakes his head.

"I... I know I’m into guys I just... never acted on it."

"Hmm," Cas’ deep voice rumbles as he looks down at Dean. "Then I’d better try really hard to not ruin it for you," he says and rubs his stubbled cheek against Dean’s knee.

Dean thinks he might be already ruined for anyone else, but he fortunately manages to keep these words for himself.

Cas pushes Dean’s knees further up. Dean has to steady his breathing when he basically feels Cas’ stare on his hole.

Cas runs the pad of his thumb over the puckered flesh making Dean shiver.

Cas hums again like he’s deep in thoughts. "You know what? I changed my mind."

Dean gapes at him, terrified. If Cas is going to leave now, he’ll die of embarrassment.

"I want to eat you out."

"What?"

Cas frowns. "Use my mouth, on your hole. I’m pretty sure you’ll like it."

"But... but what about you? Isn’t it like... disgusting?"

Cas huffs out a laugh. "Don’t worry about me. I’m gonna enjoy this just fine." With that, he puts his hands on Dean’s ass cheeks to pull them apart and leans down.

"Cas!" Dean cries when the hot wet tongue drags over his sensitive rim.

Cas hums-a sound that’s starting to drive Dean crazy and licks and sucks. Dean lets go of the headboard to grab onto Cas’ hair tugging slightly. He knows he’s moaning like his life depends on it but he’s unable to stop himself. The sensations are so new and intimate and exciting.

He’s actually a little relieved when Cas stops because he’s started to feel overwhelmed. He looks at Cas who’s looking just slightly less out of breath than Dean feels.

"Good?" Cas asks.

"I’m having a heart attack."

Cas grins at him. "Ready for more?"

Dean nods. It will be a great way to die.

"Lube?" Cas asks.

"The second drawer," Dean says gesturing towards the nightstand. He’s glad he doesn’t have to move.

Cas crawls over him to reach the drawer. When he’s about to pull away, Dean grabs his shoulder. It’s so thick it makes Dean angry.

Cas looks at Dean with surprise but he relaxes when Dean pulls him down for a kiss. The taste is strange, but it’s the idea of where that mouth has been that makes Dean shiver.

"Are you really okay?" Cas asks softly, his lips just a breath away from Deans. "We can stop here for now."

"Don’t you dare," Dean growls. Cas chuckles as he resumes his position between Dean’s legs.

He squeezes out some lube and rubs it between his palms to warm it.

"The angle is different so I’ll be able to push deeper than when you do it yourself."

Dean nods, his abandoned cock twitches at the idea.

"You need to let me know if something feels off. Okay?"

"I will. Just go on before I lose my nerve."

"Okay, try to relax," Cas suggests before brushing his wet fingertips over Dean’s hole. He pushes his index in, just to the first knuckle. Dean focuses on taking deep slow breaths. He squeezes his eyes shut and lets himself be overtaken by the sensation of Cas’ finger pushing deeper. It’s good, it’s familiar until it’s more than Dean’s used to. He moans and clenches his muscles which enhances the feeling of being filled and makes him moan even more.

"You okay?" Cas asks.

"I’m great."

Cas runs his free hand up Dean’s chest under his shirt and pinches his nipple making Dean hiss before he starts to move his finger inside Dean.

"Fuck yes," Dean sighs. He reaches for his cock, but Cas bats his hand away.

"No. Leave it up to me."

"Okay, okay, fine, oh god!" Dean cries out when Cas touches a spot inside him that makes his whole body clench with a shock of pleasure.

"Dean Winchester, let me introduce you to your prostate."

"Fuck!"

"Amazing, isn’t?"

Instead of a reply, Dean sobs into the back of his hand as Cas brushes over his prostate again and again.

"I’m going to add another finger," Cas informs and takes Dean’s incoherent sound as an affirmative.

Dean bites his lip and groans at the stretch and burn.

"Relax, babe, I’ve got you."

Dean opens his eyes. The utter focus with which Cas is looking at him is beautiful. His free hand is moving over Dean’s thigh in a soothing gesture. Dean wonders if anyone ever cared for his pleasure and comfort this much. He feels his body opening for Cas, letting him in and he’s rewarded by a feeling of fullness.

"God, Dean, you’re so beautiful," Cas says as he fucks Dean steadily. "I wish you could see yourself as I do right now. Loving my fingers up your ass. Your hole stretched around them, your cock leaking, your face... fuck Dean, it’s better than I imagined."

"You...you did?"

"Yeah. This and much more. You on your knees sucking my cock, you bend over the kitchen table, you in my lap."

Dean’s trembling, his body feels like a livewire, his climax is closing in.

"Cas, please," he moans.

Moving his hand faster, pushing it deeper and harder, Cas leans down and wraps his lips around Dean’s cock.

And Dean loses it. He thinks he might have shouted a somewhat coherent warning before his vision blacks out and he’s coming harder than ever. His body spasms so hard hi arches his back off the bad and kicks his legs out.

He opens his eyes, gasping for breath, his heart hammering against his breastbone.

Cas is grinning down at him. He has his boxers down to his knees and his hard cock in his hand.

It seems he didn’t pull back fast enough because there’s a speck of come on his chin.

Without thinking, Dean grabs the back of his head and pulls him down. Cas collapses on top of him with a huff and freezes a little when Dean licks his own jizz off his face.

Then they are kissing. Dirty and wet. Dean grabs Cas’ ass when he starts to rock his hips dragging his cock through the hot sticky mess on Dean’s stomach.

It feels so amazing Dean would come again if it was physically possible.

Cas moans Dean’s name when his orgasm hits and Dean holds him tight against his chest as Cas rides it.

 They take a few long minutes to just bask in the afterglow. Then Cas pushes himself up and uses the kleenex on Dean’s nightstand to clean them up.

Cas suddenly seems very silent, the confidence with which he took Dean apart is gone. He pulls his boxers up and sits on the edge of the bed. Dean reaches for his arm.

"Are you gonna stay?"

Cas actually flinches at Dean’s words sending a pang of panic through Dean’s chest.

"I don’t think it’s a good idea," he says not looking Dean in the face.

It takes Dean a moment to find his breath. "Why?"

Cas finally turns to him. There’s a deep crease between his brows, his eyes sre sad. "Because there’s a good chance you’ll wake up in the morning and regret what we’ve done."

Dean mirrors his frown. "I don’t think so. And even if, we’re friends, we can figure it out."

Cas’ lips curl up but it lacks mirth. "Friends with benefits?"

"I don’t know. Maybe. If that’s what you want. Maybe something else."

Cas raises an eyebrow.

"Like boyfriends maybe?"

A sharp feeling like a bolt of lightning runs down Dean’s spine. He realizes it’s equal parts anxiety and excitement.

"You’d want that?" his voice sounds weak to his own ears.

"It’s what I dreamed of the most."

Dean huffs out the breath that he was holding. He tugs at Cas’ arm and Cas lies down next to him.

"Truth or dare?" Dean asks.

Cas’ eyes darken. "Dare."

"Be my boyfriend."