#but its so much funnier considering that in canon universe

[your-fave-is-bi]

Im still fuckong laughing. At darth maul. Darth Maul Has Prosthetic Legs But His Original Penis. Its just so fucking FUN Y im losing my mind

[lukkabloom]

Fun Facts abt the residents according to Ikevamp Radio (ヴァンなま) Part 1

Found a playlist of Ikevamp Radio that occurred multiple years ago so I decided to collect my findings about the residents in a list. I haven't seen anyone translate it or talk abt it so I decided to do it for a bit of fun. Anyways, here are episodes 1-3!!

Some quick things to note before:

Vincent/Aramaki Yoshihiko (Makki) is the MC, Sebas/Morishima Shuta (Morishi) is a guest (but he’s in every episode he might as well be the 2nd MC). They also have other people as guests in some episodes (other ikevamp VAs or others related to the game itself)

Episodes 1 & 2 occur before Ikevamp’s release

most of my findings are from a segment from the livestream where the residents (mainly Vincent and Sebas) talk to each other & ask each other questions about the lives while they spend some bonding time in the thermae. The segment's called "I love yu" which is a pun on "I love you" and yu (湯) which means "hot water" or "bath"

There are also other segments where the VAs draw based on a designated theme & the viewers vote on the best art (van Gogh's drawing section), and another one where the VAs read the summary of the game in their in-character voices (but the VAs interrupt and make it funnier & less romantic) called "Ikemen Vampire, a guidance for you" (I won't talk abt these sections much tho)

ALSO!! This is not a translation of the whole livestream, just bits and pieces of it. I don't have the time and energy to do that

Episode 1: feat. Leonardo's VA Tsuda Kenjiro

Question: Which historical figure/genius do you respect the most?

Napoleon: Oda Nobunaga

Mozart: Johann Sebastian Bach

Leonardo: Michelangelo (which I thought was interesting since real-life Leo and Michelangelo had some beef w each other)

Morishima (Sebas’s VA): Newton (bc of the apple & theory of universal gravitation), Edison

Tsuda (Leonardo’s VA): van Gogh

Aramaki (Vincent’s VA): Liu Bei, Zhao Yun (I think that's who he was talking abt? I'm not familiar much w/Chinese figures' names in jp---they're read differently in Eng)

The other VAs joke that Aramaki’s similar to Napo in the sense that they both admire soldiers/military commanders

Question: Favorite part of a woman’s body? (This sounds so wrong in both jp & eng)

Napoleon: from the neck to the shoulder, he's prob talking abt the shoulders to the neckline or vice versa（首から肩まで）

Mozart: voice (so he can understand what his partner’s thinking & feeling)

Leonardo: thighs (bc it’s soft & he likes lap pillows)

Tsuda said Leo’s a bit of a pampered/attention-seeking child (甘えん坊), and not an ore-sama (which he thought Leo would be), an unexpectedly cute reason considering how reliable Leo looks

Vincent gets a bit sad when he’s bathing alone

Leo can sing a song that he’s only heard once (as expected of a genius)

Sebas can be seen hanging the sheets outside from Vincent’s room

Leo’s unsatisfied that there’s only men in the mansion (this was before MC stumbled to the mansion)

Vincent doesn’t want women in the mansion bc he wouldn’t know how to act in front of them

Sebas thinks Leo is an expert in handling women, Leo is confused when he became one

Leo’s weak against Vincent’s pleas/suggestions (honestly who isn’t??)

Sebas thinks it’s impossible for a woman to stumble upon the mansion (foreshadowing)

Leo thinks that fate will play a trick on them, his mumbling confuses Vincent and Sebas (more foreshadowing)

Episode 2: feat. Jun, singer of Ikevamp theme song "Rouge"

Jun is a repairman who fixes things around the mansion… HE'S ALIVE IN THAT ERA???? (Idk if its canon)

He also sings “Rouge” while he works which means the song exists in the 20th century (again idk how much of this is canon)

Jun also sells milk in the mansion, acting as a different person as the repairman, although Sebas & Vincent are suspicious of him (he literally just enters the bath to sell milk to Vincent and Sebas lol)

Vincent and Sebas talk about MC, she has arrived @ the mansion

Vincent worries abt her since she is surrounded by vampires in an unfamiliar environment, but to Sebas, it looks like MC enjoys her life and is headstrong (aka Vincent is just nice to others, nothing new)

Vincent believes that Sebas is cool and can do anything, to which Sebas indirectly disagrees (he coughs)

Sebas is weak to Vincent’s innocent eyes (just like Leo from the previous episode, again, who isn't?)

Sebas breaks the 4th wall talking abt a popular romance game where you can fall in love w/vampire-turned historical figures

This is literally the beginning of how Sebas goes ooc (becomes weirder) throughout the series (is it even ooc if it’s basically approved by official??)

Sebas says that Theo is overprotective of Vincent, Vincent comments that he’s supposed to be the older one

they also introduce my fav segment (Can you tell me... your name?) where they have listeners vote on quotes they want the VAs to say, and they will say the line w/the listener’s names so it sounds like the VAs are speaking to them. Vincent's & the guest (if there is one) will have legit cool lines (like “(y/n), Don’t let go of me” or “(y/n), you’re the only one in my eyes”) but Sebas always has one funny line as one of his options (ex. “Hey, do you wanna have a takoyaki party?” or “Do you want to fry one more sanma?”) and every single time the weird line gets voted and ITS FUNNY AS HECK

Also in the same segment the viewers will sometimes submit funny names for the VAs (especially Sebas) to say & it adds to the laughs

Ex. for Sebas’s “Hey, do you wanna have a takoyaki party?” some viewers gave names of Anpanman characters (a children’s anime in Japan) so Sebas will literally say things like “Jam-ojisan, hey, do you wanna have a takoyaki party?”

There was also one whose name was Tako (octopus in japanese) so Sebas would say “Tako, do you wanna have a takoyaki party?” so he’s asking the octopus to have a takoyaki party where the octopus will be eaten (the irony as well as the dark underlying meaning behind it is very funny)

Also the way the other people are laughing while Sebas’s VA is trying to keep his cool is so hilarious

It’s predetermined and agreed upon the Ikevamp staff that Sebas (or Morishi) is willing to do/say weird things for the audience

This whole segment is a whole ride in and out of itself

Episode 3: feat. Leonardo’s VA Tsuda Kenjiro once again

Sebas once again breaks the 4th wall by referencing episode 1 of the show

Sebas teaches Leo the basics of manzai (a type of japanese comedy)

Leo says “Vannama” (the name of ikevamp radio) and “tendon” (the food and a manzai phrase)  in a weird accent further proving that he doesn’t understand Japanese (or maybe it's bc the two phrases are too specific idk)

Sebas tells Leo to ignore what he’s saying as he is saying metafictional expressions (メタ発言) basically how he is breaking the 4th wall, and Leo just accepts that as another one of Sebas’s quirks

Vincent comments that Leo’s very manly, Sebas further compliments him saying that Leo is a man amongst men

This episode has one of the funniest (imo) “Can you tell me… your name?” segments ever. Vincent and Leo’s VAs had amazing lines, but Sebas… oh gosh where do I even start. (ok Leo’s VA did say “Ushi (cow), wait for me by the bed,” and “Namamono (raw food), wait for me by the bed” & that was funny too but…)

One of the options for Sebas’s lines (and the one that was ultimately chosen to be said) was “Do you want to fry one more sanma (a type of seasonal fish eaten in fall)?” and the viewers got crazy with this one.

There were some legit names but most were for jokes, choosing names going along with the theme of fall foods and creatures (tuna, matsutake, karaage, grasshoppers, etc.)

There was “Akashiya, sanma mouipikki yaku?”(Akashiya, do you want to fry one more sanma?) which was the funniest one. Akashiya Sanma is a very famous Japanese comedian and it’s very genius of the viewer to connect the person with the food. I laughed straight for like 10 min when I first listened to this (I still laugh just remembering it. The double-entendre!!!)

Literally any episode with Tsuda is chaotic (this isn’t the last time where he shows up)

At the end of the episode, Vincent’s VA couldn’t stop laughing and messed up his lines multiple times (I don’t blame him everything is just so funny)

[queer-fag]

Deadpool vs Wolverine thoughts

- lots of Easter eggs like too many to count honestly definitely requires a well rounded media knowledge even outside of marvel

- fucking incredible soundtrack. Great nostalgic choices that really made the film imo

- Chris Evan’s cameo as Johnny flame? Hilarious

- overall plot very fast and loose and really more there just to have a reason to put the two together

- is definitely crack

- like this absolutely could just be considered a crack universe because the one choice that ruined any type of canon was having Laura? The kid from Logan there in the void because Logan was sooo serious and talking about it was fine and bringing a different version (primed for “funnier”) is a great choice but wtf was she just there for other than a lil tear jerk moment idk unnecessary

- all serious moments lowkey unnecessary felt very off in comparison to the rest bc the rest was crack lol

- only part of the multiple Deadpool thing I liked was its uzi time baby

- fuck that gross dog forever but Logan just holding it to walk across truly hilarious

- love blade ? And the elektra call back but still those movies were so.. like serious (tho very camp) that it’s kind of weird to place these characters

- but the one liner to blade about animal king made it ok for me lol

- Stanley steamer cameo Stan Lee check very creative

- Cassandra… idk how to feel just a plug in villain but she had the opportunity to be so so so good I think I felt like she was underutilized

- as usual the worst part of marvel movies is their admittance that they know what’s wrong and don’t care but hey I literally saw it in theaters so it’s cyclical and 50% pass for being written and produced by Ryan

- I wish they put spawn in it. Idk man no reason at all I have no idea how the comics interact if at all but w the other cameos I think that’s probably the most overlooked marvel movie

- mad max mention check check check

- the tva as a continued narrative I dislike which is ironic bcccc —->

- Loki mention! Meta but whatever

- it was really funny I will give it props yes one liners but good ones !

- bloopers from all versions of X-men etc as ending reel solid!!! Very good

- fight scenes.. the opening was the best and the others were fine…

- they should have kisses there was the PERFECT moment and they didn’t

- I think this was a fun Wolverine actually I like how much he swore and was as nasty as Deadpool

- 7/10 final rating which is a b if you’re in Canada (reference Ryan reynolds)

[rauhallinen-hauki]

HUNK being an acronym for "human unit never killed" isnt canon nor has been officially stated to even necesarilly be an acronym by Capcom nor any RE games. according to some sources (aka what i could find on the internet) it was originally a mispelling of a similar sounding name that Capcom liked so much it became the character's name. why its written in all caps tho remains a mystery

but that just makes the possible in-universe origin for the name hilarious. like

imagine Umbrella. they call their personnel by either their already cool names/surnames or give them cool codenames. "Vector", "Nighthawk", ect. then they look at their most efficient, deadliest agent: completelly covered in edgy black tactical gear, always cursed to be the sole survivor of a team-assigned mission, only noticeable "social skills being related to work. all around a cold, violent person (to summatize: not who most would consider "attractive")

and then Umbrella goes "daaamn he hot as hell!!!!! HUNK is your codename. not Hunk its HUNK (ALL CAPS) because thats how sexy you are" and Umbrella is an evil shitty organization but choosing a name that fitting is the only good thing they ever did

even funnier is when HUNK later works alone as a merc... and he keeps the codename. like he knows full well how thirsty some people are for him and that he is, in fact, a hunk

[magpiejay1234]

I guess I can talk about the Takato/Juri relationship, but Konaka flip-flops with it, and given the later canon stories he wrote for Tamers timeline, I'm pretty sure he felt rather disappointed that he didn't default for the main guy/main girl ship with Takato/Ruki. Kind of shame really, considering how well the relationship is written.

Also, though Konaka put lots of thought to Ruki's character for the early part of Tamers, it seems some of the remaining resentment from Adventure 02's production left their mark, since he didn't realize her initial arc is kind of a speed-run of Ken's Kaiser storyline. This gets funnier since due to executive meddling, we insert Ryo to Ruki's story, just like how we did with Ken.

In the same vein, given Willis's later characterization in the 02 post-canon stuff, I wonder if there was some weird cross-pollination between his character, and Jiangliang's. Jiangliang's later characterization in the aforementioned post-canon Tamers works is quite different, so I suspect there has been some cross-pollination, but that didn't stick of course.

Of course, we may need to discuss about Guilmon. Its design was made way before Tamers, during Adventure 02 era, same as other main Digimon (of course, besides Impmon, rest of the partner Digimon are straight up Adventure era Digimon that didn't get much screentime, so Toei could reap the merch, and use old character reference artwork). However, in-canon its design is humorous, since it is literally an older-looking Agumon, but with Devilman wing ears, and Unit-01-like Berserk Mode. Of course, as others noted, it is indeed one of the edgy Virus-Types, used by the Adventure villains, and Ken's partner Wormmon. Considering Devilman inspiration for most Devil Man Digimon, this implies Takato reads Go Nagai's very erotic stuff, and outside of his friend circle, is actually an edgelord. He is truly the Digimon fanbase's collective manifestation.

Another thing, though the Dub is more explicit about this, Takato, and to a lesser extent, his friend group, are supposed to represent the cross-media aspect of Digimon, specifically the animé, and toy merch, similar to how Ruki represents the TCG, and Jiangliang represents the video game part. JesuOtaku's commentary would give you to wrong idea, as it is true that there are no explicit references to Adventure besides Hirokazu's shirt (and Cathode Tamer reference in the Japanese original), but it is pretty obvious that is what being referenced. The fact that they don't explicitly reference Adventure is a good thing, though, since otherwise the cast would be too savy about the upcoming events (and basically undo most of the plot before it occurs), but there would be big continuity flub with Ryo, bigger than the currently existing one. (Ryo was planned to be added to third series beforehand, but Konaka's statements imply he didn't initially know this, so this obscuring of Adventure references was likely not planned in advance.)

That said, if by random chance they gave the option of making a Tamers reboot to Atsuhiro Tomioka, I can immediately expect for him to make an entire season about these weird continuity flubs, and make Tamers gang too genre savy, only for them stumble into weirder stuff, turning Tamers from Evangelion for Kids to RahXephon for Kids. (Also Tomioka would probably give all the Devas their Ultimate/Mega forms to match Andiramon, just like how he expanded various antagonist Digimon lines in the Adventure reboot.)

****

Another thing to notice, which we briefly mentioned, is of course Guilmon's creation is directly reused by YGO GX for Neos cards' creation. I don't know how much of a popular trope this was in 2000s, the fans of the franchise bringing their OCs into their reality to become major parts of franchise in-universe, since both YGO, and Digimon utilize a lot of fan art contests for making new cards, obviously less so these days, due to legal complications.

Big difference, of course, Guilmon was designed as the protagonist partner Digimon way before Tamers was greenlit, whereas Neos, and its associated cards were designed in part to look like a fan's creation, with Neo-Spacians referencing DC's Super-Friends alongside various older animé, and Western Animations, and Neos predominantly referencing Ultraman in-universe, despite being conceptually, and visually based off Guyver.

[knottyroseswrites]

What I Don’t Have (is what you are made of) - Notes on the timeline

~this note is spoiler free until the pictures. Then its all spoilers~

Here’s a horrifying insight to my writing process: until chapter 9 I did not have a proper timeline. I’d looked at the maniac tour schedule and was using that as a rough guideline, but other than that we were working on hopes, prayers, and vibes. The even funnier truth is that I didn’t make the timeline until I had the horrifying realisation that someday people were hopefully going to read this and some of them might care if the timeline didn’t make sense. 

Another fun side note is that after the interviews I had pretty much no outline and just ploughed forward with blind ambition trying to get these two idiots to kiss and trusting that they eventually would. I’ve added a picture under the cut of my ‘outline’ if you can even call it that. So yeah. No real timeline, and no real outline, just vibes.

So to make the timeline I opened up the fic doc and took a million notes of every scene I’d written so far. I also noted any time indicators I made in the fic either to a specific date (‘about two weeks later’, ‘I've been here a month now’, ect) and fixed dates (start of the tour, specific locations ect). Then, like the corporate nerd I am, I turned all that information into a spreadsheet, pulled up a calendar, pulled up the maniac tour dates, sent up some prayers to the patron gods of fic writing, and went at it.

To my relief, while it’s a bit creative, the timeline works. I had to push the Oddinary release back a bit from when it happens in real life to make sense with when Y/N started, and I had to change a few of my time indicators in the fic, but other than that I was able to keep all other big fixed dates the same (aka tour dates and maxident release). And honestly I think it makes more sense then it has any right to considering I figured it out after I wrote it. 

I will say that I do play with ‘cannon’ a bit, not all events happen exactly when they did irl, and not everything is the exact same. So consider this like a split in the timeline, this is the universe where Oddinary comes out early and Y/N exists. It’s funny that I feel like I need to say that, it’s a fanfic for fucks sake. But anytime I write ‘canon compliant’ anything I worry some bastard is going to go through my fic with a fine comb and go ‘um actually, that’s not what happened!’. So this is me saying: I KNOW, I made artistic choices to make the best story possible. If you want a pure timeline of events go read a calendar. 

Sorry, probably unlikely you’re one of those people if you’re reading this, I just really needed to say it.

Anyway… back on track. Really this timeline was just more for my peace of mind than anything else. While writing I felt it was mostly important the reader felt the passage of time and the development during it, not exact dates. And I think I achieved that.

But I’m vain and I did all this work so here you go. Screenshots of my insane ass notes and spreadsheet for your reference.

Final notes before the screen shots:

1. Non fixed dates are approximate. Like they can move probably a few days in either direction and be fine. Sometimes I just had to pick something.

2. SPOILERS INCOMING! If you haven’t finished the fic yet, maybe don’t keep scrolling, cus my notes def contain vague spoilers. Or I guess if angst stresses you out and you want to spoil yourself, go for it!

3. As I write this note I have not written the entire epilogue yet, and have some plans to change scenes, so don’t take this as gospel. It’s a picture of a living document. And also internal notes so sorry bout typos!

Image 1: All I had as an outline after the interviews… you’ll notice it’s very different then where we ended up!

Image 2: my illegible first notes of the scenes when I decided to figure out the timeline

Image 3: The master spreadsheet of the timeline

[zatyrlucy]

Pilot cast Live panel list of facts

Hi guys, sorry this took more than a week, I have been busy with Christmas preparations and other stuff. Anyway, Viv talked about different info in this stream, from general lore to the making of the shows, I hope you enjoy.

41:30 The pilot was originally longer and with more songs. The opening song was ironically the last one included in the story.

42:23 Stage rights have come up in the meetings with interested studios. That means there is a chance for Hazbin Hotel to be a theatrical musical in the future.

49:00 According to Viv, the Hazbin universe is big enough to do a lot of different shows that can “breathe on their own”. She said she wishes to make someday a series about the human world and earth in general, like a “third chapter” of the Hazbin universe.

50:00 Hazbin Hotel and Helluva are from the same universe but they are very different. While Hazbin focuses on the circle where all the sinners are and how hell deals with them, Helluva is based in how the rest of hell works in terms of the others 6 circles and the demon society.

Hazbin is also about redemption and the consequences of your acts unlike Helluva where the characters are not exactly looking for redemption but the development of their interpersonal relationships.

51:40 Charlie’s and Fizz’s songs were written by the same person, Parry Gripp. In fact, it was his idea for Fizz to rip off Charlie’s song.  

1:02:30 Alastor is indeed “an edgy deviantart oc”. He has been Viv’s character the longest, being created when she was in high school. (Viv was in deviantart before tumblr if I am not wrong, her account is still there, somewhere).  

1:03:33 Alastor is canonically asexual but his romantic aspect is still secret

1:04:42 Viv’s opinion about the shipping despite the canon is, in short, “You can ship what you want but be respectful about what the characters represent and mean to others”, and Gabe Brown (Alastor’s singing voice actor) complemented with “Have fun but don’t force on other people your fantasies”. I very much recommend going to the time mark and listen to her whole answer tho.

1:08:00 Alastor was originally meant to be a villain in Zoophobia (Viv’s old webcomic) but in the middle of the story she decided to take him and other characters out to create their own universe. Those characters were Hazbin’s protagonists, Angel Dust, Vaggie, Charlie and Alastor.

After that decision, Alastor became a funnier, more theatrical and trickster kind of character.

1:10:18 Just because something is not happening in front of your eyes, doesn’t mean is not progressing. Viv still cares about Hazbin Hotel and considers it the most special story she has created so far. The situation is that Hazbin is more complicated than Helluva, so she wants to make sure the show goes well and its made perfectly… but that takes time.  

1:15:50 The Helluva team is (at the time this stream was out) working in the 4th episode.

1:41:00 There will be more Ars Goetia demons included in both shows

1:44:00 Viv confirmed that Alastor is a French-creole

1:44:30 Viv cannot say if god is going to appear in the Hazbin universe, but we will see heaven eventually (didn’t say in which show tho.), and it will be represented by different mythologies instead of the Christian religion because she doesn’t want her characters to be directly related to the bible, being Lucifer and Lilith the only exceptions.

Based in some aspects of theology and how terrifying the angels are described in it, Viv has decided to make the angels “ethereal alien-like”.

In Helluva we are going to be able to see how the seven daily sins are portrayed in each circle of hell.

2:12:15 There is a possibility of the crew members playing a videogame, like Among Us, for a future charity stream.  

[mingmingfufu]

Can we just talk about the ending of KawoShin open discuss. *sort of spoilerish*

I feel like I’m the only one who’s like reallly disappointed LMFAO--ya’ll there’s so much “canon” alternative universe and merchandise for Kawoshin in Evangelion that it kind of makes me upset to realise this couple just went down the drain. Yeah, I can see how people were like, “Kaworu’s toxic” or “Kaworu has a hero complex for Shinji” to which I say are valid points. But the toxic thing I feel like can also be applied to pretty much everyone around Shinji tbh, except for Rei. I did NOT, like Asuka at all but I really love her character though, and I felt for her a lot throughout the series.

I did not ship them either because honestly, Shinji and Asuka seemed better off playing the sibling dynamic instead of trying to play bf/gf which honestly is kind of forced by their living situation. Also since they’re in a similar disposition non existent father and dead mother, you’d imagine they would rely on each other for emotional comfort. Though Asuka—her personality I feel like she can’t differentiate between familial love and romantic love and the affection she wants is a bit of both. But, her character tries to be “mature”; she wants romantic love more and does this through sexual means and romantic gestures e.g. like kissing. One of my friends told me that you can’t stay friends as a boy and a girl cause eventually you catch feelings. Which I say is kinda dumb cause I have a lot of male friends, and I definitely don’t harbour those feelings, but I guess it’s a common phenomena.

I think this is what happens in this case, of Asuka and Shinji. Even after rejection of instrumentality they actually are depicted as childhood friends. But knowing how they both were before to each other, it was not good tbh. Also to mention the choking like thrice— bro if anything, this showcases a really abusive relationship and I think this outstretches the idea of their character tropes. Which I firmly stand by saying they’re superficial to each other. AsuShin were never really there for each other and are using each other in a forced situation. However, you can’t deny that they didn’t at some point catch feels, also Shinji is pretty consistent how he still cares about everyone around him. Which I really like how they add that to his character because it reminiscent of Yui, because you see a duality of both his parents personality in Shinji throughout the series—it’s a really nice touch. But bruh, if we gonna talk about that coma scene—I’m out LOL.

Thoughhhh, she is a true definition of best girl I really like her arc, fighting drive, and her skills as an Eva pilot 😭💗--but bruh she’s still a toxic and sometimes annoying tsundere trope, but still she’s 14 what can you do. So I feel like Kensuke and Asuka are actually a pretty good combo, cause he’s always been pretty mature even without parents. Also Asuka was into older guys, so I guess this is a win win?? Also Rei and Shinji, I honestly cannot get my head around it cause that’s pretty much his mom—so in a way that’s like either his half-sister or mom-ish clone?? Idk but Yui is definitely the donor LOL.

Kaworu and Shinji I felt like brought a bunch of things out of each other. I don’t know which timeline begins first, but I’d like to think the manga, the anime (plus its movies), and then to the rebuild series. Because I think that order is kind of pivotal to observing Kaworu’s character development from being a person who’s trying to understand human feelings to then the kinder person we see in the final series. You can tell how he’s changed and he knows Shinji a lot more as well as being considerate to him e.g. giving him personal space or letting him work at his own pace. Also that “we’ll meet again.” Is an obvious nod to how he’s done this before.

His literal story in every timeline is always romantic LOL, like bruh I can’t remember which game it was but basically a bad ending of Kawoshin route is that you reject Kaworu and he starts the third impact 🤡. Also I don’t know why but I started to see a weird dynamic between those two, in the manga their interactions reminded me of Asuka and Shinji—which Shinji is the tsundere Asuka here. I don’t know if this is relevant but the older character relative to the character they’re with seems to play off a mature vs a childish person trope. Asuka is younger than Shinji and Shinji is actually younger than Kaworu. Then again I could be overseeing this but istg manga Kaworu and Shinji mirror the whole Asushin dynamic. Like he’s seriously agressive against Kaworu, then after killing him he admits liking him. 🤡 I don’t know which is funnier no homo Shinji, homophobe shinji, or just closet Shinji who needs to realise sexuality is a spectrum so he could’ve idk—come out as bisexual, but whatever manga Shinji lol that timeline is over.

Anyways the development of these two is real and I think the rebuild timeline shows them at their best bringing their own personage out from each other like how they both enjoy music together--WHICH I’M SO SAD WE NEVER GET TO SEE THAT CELLO AGAIN. Then there’s those feelings of humanity, love, kindness, etc. Which yeah an angel could represent those things, but Kaworu is still his own person, self-aware of a cycle and if you think about how he initially was there to USE Shinji, but ultimately turned on that plan set by SEELE because he loved Shinji (and a bunch of other things like him showing Kaworu humanity). I also can see the argument, how “ideal” Kaworu is to Shinji, but he’s more self aware of the time he has before he KNOWS he’ll die and knows how to act for himself in that duration to make the most of it. All with Shinji. At some point, I think he fell in love with Shinji tho I don’t know where it began tbh—considering that all those alternate universes do exist. Kaworu does romantically love Shinji--so, in some universe they both reciprocate their feelings to each other. 

In the last movie during that convo with Shinji. Like bREH it’s so emotionally moving because Kaworu remembers ALLLLL the timelines and how he’s been with Shinji and later Shinji himself recalls the events too. Where they show the scene from the manga and anime. Kaworu cries after being set free from the EVA cycle. Which, I definitely understood what he meant by him saying “it’ll be lonely” and how Shinji changed or that he’s actually different this time.

Either way, Shinji did right by him because it’s always Kaworu who has the purpose of “trying to save Shinji” but it always ends up the same. I thought that was really moving because Shinji tells Kaworu he’s gonna let him live a life for himself for once and he wants the same for everyone as well. Which was honestly so meaningful cause I think Kaworu’s character and like Rei too when they start to realise how to “live” like a person and not another puppet it’s truly liberating. Another thing I forgot, bruh Kaworu calls Gendo his father and ngl I feel like this is kind of a weird lore situation because I for sure don’t think he’s the donor. I think he calls him that as an insult because he knows Gendo’s whole doing and relative to Shinji—I kind of see it as a joke LOL. Like it’s equivalent to saying, “daddy chill”, or “hey look it’s daddy and his plans to end the world” also I kind of like to think of it as a father in law thing cause you know, Kawoshin *winks amirite*

The ending, I’m honestly hoping is just an open ending because it gives everything an actual start of their adult lives not being dictated by extraterrestrial forces. Though, I’m kind of wondering if the world doesn’t have EVAs does that still mean everyone else still has the same backstory, and do they remember? Maybe Mari really is just a coworker lmfao, and there’s still a chance for Kaworu and Shinji cause ngl, they did have a convo (presumably from the spoilers) about still remaining close afterwards and that stare at the ending seems very hopeful.

I call bs from Anno saying, “oh Shinji is based off him and Mari off of his wife”, like honestly any OCs made theres always some part of yourself made into that character. Which is probably why a lot of people relate to the characters in EVA because they’re based off real things (e.g. those war machines characters are named after and people around them). I think why Kaworu and Rei are together at the end, is bc they’re very much the same. They’re mass produced dolls—which oddly enough that’s the case for all the children except they don’t recall the loop. Kind of funny also how both Kaworu and Rei became farmers lmfao so ig it runs in the family (yes that’s right I like the idea that they’re siblings it was always noted that they’re like “the same”).

Another thing, i think why the rebuild really did well for Kawoshin and in my opinion canonised it—the convo with elder Ryoji Kaji (Misato’s baby daddy) that there was a time he felt incredibly lonely and depressed thinking Misato didn’t love him and so he started looking out for himself. So self love and found himself a hobby in farming which he suggests to Kaworu—basically saying he might feel like Shinji doesn’t love him but he’s gotta remember to take care of himself. if I go thru a breakup ill feel like it’s the end of the world but Kaji says y’a gotta self love broe and take care yo self gad dam fam 😭 💗.

Though, that look at the end from Shinji to Kaworu—I’d like to believe there is still hope that one day when they’re a bit stable in their adult lives, they’ll run into each other.

[thequibblah]

directors cut for WTRF? 🥺👉👈 not biased at all obviously just objective third party asking for a directors cut hmmm hmmmmm

literally how could u do this every other word in that fic is an easter egg i can't shut up about..... bestie u are about to have regrets

one thing u should know is that 90% of things in this fic have real-world equivalents and its not even like....... hidden equivalents. serie primo = serie a, for instance. this trend is going to continue and i won't apologise <3

fun fact i named the bar the Bar and the drinks after shapes because i was too lazy to come up with something actually clever

this bit

I’m grinning to myself by the time she approaches my table.

was a very intentional fakeout and if you read this and thought "she" would be lily, feel free to sue me for emotional damages

the biggest conundrum of this AU was, how are jily not going to have met in school when magic exists? the solution was, of course, having multiple magic schools. but i couldn't let one of them have hogwarts, that didn't seem fair. i know i did sort of let lily have it..... but i felt more comfortable making hogwarts a university so there was a legit reason why james wasn't there and in gryffindor (if he'd gone he absolutely would have been)

once solved, i did the fun thing of naming them! ottaline gambol's was easy, i just scrolled through the list of ministers for magic and picked a progressive one. peverell hall was a whim, made all the funnier when lily's reaction is:

Much was made at Otty’s — one of the more progressive magical schools, named for one of the more progressive Ministers of Magic — of schools like Peverell Hall and St. George’s. The latter, I know, is chock-full of pureblooded elite. Peverell Hall is supposed to be slightly better, but still.

dang, it's gonna be funny if she ever finds out james is a descendant of the guy it's named after

fun fact, i included this because peter's question was a real thought i had when reading bond and free, your inspiring writing knows no limits:

The first thing you conjure in Walking Wombat is a yellow quill... “Why yellow?” Peter asked. Eddie gave him a strange look. “Why not?”

i realised i'd put jily in the same conundrum they had in tis the fucking season here:

It’s only then that I remember she’s just bought us drinks. I turn back to my triangle. “Oh, shit.” I suppose I can pawn it off on one of the others.

...but of course the resolution is rather different, and i do so enjoy a james with no filter (aka default james)

I briefly lose control of my brain and my tongue. “Is it too soon to say I’m in love with you?”

by the way, no-filter james will be a theme. wild things sure do run fast but not as fast as this boy runs his mouth!

also, another interesting challenge here was making sure james has a reason to be the way he is in AU. i love playing around with james's childhood/background and seeing how that affects his character while (hopefully!) staying true to who he is. i did that in ttfs by having him move around a lot and not meet the marauders until after the flashback timeline, which is why he's less of a git — he doesn't have the level of comfort in a social setting that canon james has with hogwarts, which is basically his playground from day 2 of first year lol

here, james was probably a fkn nightmare all through school, but of course he gets a big ego check when his quidditch career is derailed. i imagine his years in italy as a continuation of that humility lesson.

I will fully admit I used to be a cocky prick. This is what comes of being a kid who grew up with everything. But one useful thing that the whole fiasco four years ago taught me is humility. I’ve learned how to ask nicely for another chance.

and so much of writing him in wtrf is juggling that typical confidence with the insecurity/fear of losing something he's invested so much in (and has seen slip away before). it's really new to me, because typically i give lily uncertain life circumstances, but i suppose it's both of them in this AU.

the car thing was... i swear didn't start out as smutty, it was purely because i wanted a way to establish lily as muggleborn in a world where the connotations of not having magical parents is very different. more to come on that!

also, come to think of it, by this metric...

I’m now in dangerous territory, since that adds another impressive action to her running tally.

...i think james is already in love with her LOL

this bit:

The street is considered indecent and the downstairs hallway would have our landlady come running at once, so if it pleases Your Honour, we would recommend the sitting room sofa.

...was actually because in draft one lily was a lawyer, but then it was funny enough that i didn't want to take it out, but NOW i realise it makes it sound a little like she's addressing james as your honour, which.... hm. but anyway, we move on

Marc Bolan begs us to get it on through the stereo, vocalising my thoughts exactly.

the song here was initially "you shook me" (h/t @keepingupwithpotters) but i chickened out because zeppelin is SO horny dfjkhgkjs

also, it gave me so much joy to read everyone reacting to lily thinking about her ex (the general vibe was "who the fuck is this guy!!! ew!!!!") — rest assured (or, unassured??) that he has a part to play in all this. anyway, this is one of my fave lines:

He’s just a person, and there’s such a relief in sleeping with James and not the myth of a guy.

because as any come together reader knows....

Just James. Just James. It was never just James.

wtrf lily will learn!

literally the whole world knows i'm obsessed with needle drops that have no subtlety at all, but this one...

We just laugh, tangled together in a sweaty heap, as “Heaven Is in the Back Seat of My Cadillac” plays through the car’s speakers. “On the nose, isn’t it?” James says, sitting up.

...was pure luck, because i was looking up the top hits on the uk singles chart for the week(ish) this scene takes place in so that i could find a song that would realistically play on the radio, saw this, and was like omg the stars really do align

i feel like the thing i enjoy most about writing romance is the importance i get to place in noticing/looking/observing (and sometimes, not noticing!). it's just such a powerful but simple writerly tool, and god knows i am obsessed with pithy descriptions anyway, so this bit i am especially happy with:

James is already waiting, leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets. I feel as though I’m seeing him for the first time, the faint light of the flickering streetlamp catching him in profile: the strong slope of his nose, the hard line of his jaw, the curve of his smile. He studies the facade of our building with open curiosity, and I wonder what he’s looking for.

(one can only imagine james's train of thought in this moment. perhaps "ah. here lives the future love of my life"?)

“Thanks,” she tacks on at the end. I tip my head to one side in confusion. “For what?” “For, I don’t know. Being nice.” She laughs awkwardly. “I don’t do this very much.”

it wouldn't be a quibblah original tee em without some discourse to come about the nature of romantic/sexual relationships, would it? one thing i enjoy about this AU ("one thing" i say as if this isn't the billionth thing in a list) is that i get to write a romantic lily who's squaring that romanticism with what she perceives as the culture of the times. (this is a bit of a staple in all my characterisations of lily, but it is not often paired with casual sex, the complication of all complications!)

oh this bit literally wrote itself like i didn't even pause to think just vomited it out:

In the morning — and it must be early still — the sun streams through Lily’s sorry excuses for curtains with aggression that cannot be ignored. I crack open an eye to find myself sprawled out across her bed, quite literally spread-eagled. She’s attached to my side like a barnacle. Or a very pretty barnacle, anyway.

i'm especially proud of james's voice in this story. i don't often write first-person fic and i was worried how it'd turn out, but i think james as a character/narrator typically colours his own 3rd-person narration so strongly that it ended up a smoother transition than i'd feared!

also i just. i can't resist throwing in comic relief and i hope that this whole segment was a gentle enough preparation for the awkwardness that followed LOL

All of a sudden, the balcony door bursts open. I nearly drop the mug. “What the—” Mary pokes her head around the corner, sporting a righteous smile. “Morning, handsome.” Over her shoulder she shouts, “He’s on the balcony!” I blink. There’s a sound from inside the flat, as if something very large has just been dropped. Then a swear. “Oh, shit,” I say, realisation dawning, “you weren’t looking for me, were you? It’s so loud out here—” Mary cups a hand around her mouth and stage-whispers, “Lily was frantic.” She’s quite violently yanked back, and Lily herself appears in the doorway, slightly out of breath. “Should’ve checked the balcony first,” she says, and closes the door before Mary can insert herself into the space again. “Hi,” I say, which is agreed-upon best practice for greeting a woman you’ve just had fantastic sex with and ideally would like to have sex with again.

to this day i don't know what lily dropped. let's hope it wasn't expensive!

Captained the under-17 English squad at the World Cup some years back, Serie Primo’s lead goal-scorer of last year… Only an injury in what should’ve been his first season at Puddlemere mars his record. I wince reading about it and comparing it to a heap of press clippings. James Potter was hurt, and Puddlemere didn’t fancy paying for him not to play, so they shipped him off to Milan.

(you cannot imagine how much pointed interrogation of my brother it took to gather this intel.) i constantly worry that i've got dates or timelines wrong somehow — you might notice i tweaked under-17, which used to be under-19 until i realised that made no sense (even though in terms of its career importance i would much preferred it to have been u-19.... anyway). i also found out that u-17 football squads don't actually have captains but i said fuck it on that count.

but obviously i started writing this AU for the sports possibilities, only to discover i'm going to have to interfere a great deal with the Timeline (you shall see in future instalments).

god i really went through the whole fic. like i reread the whole thing to do this. here u go clare jfbghjfd

[duhragonball]

Disinterpretation

I finally finished the Sarah Z video about “pro vs. anti”.   It’s pretty long, and I ended up watching it in chunks over several days, but I think it’s worth watching, especially if you’re sort of partially connected to online fandom, but not enough to be aware of all the lingo. 

As I expected, the whole thing was vague and confusing because the people involved in the conflict made it vague and confusing.   In theory, the full terms would be “pro-shipping” and “anti-shipping”, but it seems like it’s more about particular kinds of ships that could be considered controversial.  But that’s a slippery slope, and apparently the whole conflict mutated into both sides deciding that every hypothetical relationship between fictional characters is either equally valid or equally dangerous.  

Long story short, it’s just purity culture, which was what everyone on Tumblr was calling it around 2012.  But now, if you’re a sane person who genuinely asks: “Who gives a fuck about Voltron?”, these people will jump your ass and accuse you of being on the side of their enemies.  “Children have died over the importance of Lotor/Hagger!   Your callous indifference proves that you yourself must have murdered children!” 

I think what Sarah Z really hit upon in this video was that media consumption has become so ingrained in our culture that people feel like it has to go hand-in-hand with our morality.   That is, it’s not enough for me to watch Star Trek, I have to justify Star Trek as evidence that I’m a good person.  Maybe this is where the expression “guilty pleasure” comes from.   Conversely, it’s not enough for me to not watch Dr. Who, I have to somehow convince everyone that Dr. Who was invented by the devil.

I’m pretty sure the Reylo ship has a lot to do with this, since it’s kind of understood to be a dark, problematic concept, and fans either embrace its flaws or recoil in horror because of them.   Star Wars itself is a dumb story about space wizards, so people try to give the debate more weight by linking it to freedom of self expression and/or enabling real world harm.   Suddenly it’s not enough to just think two actors would look cute making out instead of fighting.   Now it’s this battlefield for the soul of civilization or something.

I grew up in the 80′s, when “concerned parents” and grifters would accuse the Smurfs and metal bands of promoting satanism and witchcraft.   I used to hear stories of teens going out into the woods in the middle of the night to do occult stuff, and all I could ever think about was: “Why would anyone bother wandering out in the woods in the middle of the night?”  Which is why “concerned parents” turned their attention to things that were closer to home, like Saturday morning cartoons.   It had nothing to do with the content; it was just about finding a safe, accessible target for their hysteria.   Some people want to go on a crusade without leaving the house, so they pick a fight with Papa Smurf instead of confronting the real evils in the world.  Even as a kid, I knew this was a con, because I’d watched the show for myself and knew it was too saccharine to be threat to anyone.

The pro/anti folks have tried to disguise this with a lot of terminology.   I wondered why they seemed to reluctant to use the full terms “pro-shipper” and “anti-shipper”, and it’s probably a couple of things.   First, the word “shipper” is basically an admission that this is pointless bullshit that doesn’t matter, and they’d like to avoid that connotation.   Second, they seem to have decided that this goes beyond shipping itself, into practically anything else they want it to involve.  It’s all part of the con, which is to make you believe that it’s “us vs. them”, and you can be part of “us” by curating specific attitudes about Steven Universe.

Seriously, “about Steven Universe” is such an incredible punchline.  You can make anything funnier by adding those three words to the end of a sentence.   “Do not interact if you blog about Steven Universe.”   “Hey, what’s up, YouTube, this is SSJ3RyokoLover69, and this is going to be kind of a serious video about Steven Universe.”   “Mrs. Johnson, the results of your biopsy are in, and I have some bad news about Steven Universe.”   It’s a fucking kids show.   “Oh no, all the characters look like the characters in all the other kids shows!”   Yeah, that’s because it’s a kids show.   Marvin looks like Garfield, this isn’t new.

The common denominator here seems to be that both sides try to wrap themselves in the flag of vulnerable groups: impressionable minors, trauma survivors, harassment victims, etc.   The “pros” want to protect those people so that they can feel free to explore weird subject matter on their own terms, and the “antis” want to protect the same people from being exposed to weird subject matter that they might not want to see.   It’s all about establishing a moral high ground.   Back in the day, it was called “sanctimony”. 

But people get roped into this, because at their core, people want approval, and this stupid conflict offers them a sense of community.  As long as you support the cause, whatever it may be, you’ll have this online friend network that appears to support anything you do.   But if you deviate from their norm, you’ll be cast out.    Does this sound familiar?

To use a more familiar example, I still sometimes find people clamoring about Gochi vs. Vegebul.   I’ve never understood this, because both ships were canon, and I never saw much direct evidence of a war between them, but people would still talk about how crazy the Vegebul shippers were, and how crazy the Gochi shippers were, and it was like some huge thing going on just over the hills.   It’s the same idea, since the idea that you could like both or neither never seems to occur to anyone involved.   I never gave a shit, because I used to see the same dumb agendas in the Harry Potter fandom.

Okay, so let me take you back.  It’s 2005 through 2011, and I’m hateblogging all seven Harry Potter novels, because fuck you, that’s why.  The funny thing I encountered was that occasionally fans seemed to want to pretend like my bashing of certain characters was proving them right somehow.    They were like “See?  He hates Ron Weasley too!  That proves that Seamus Finnegan is the coolest guy ever.”   The Slytherin stans would do this all the time, because I would constantly take the piss out of the Gryffindor characters for being self-important dopes.   I think they just liked hearing it from an outside perspective.   But I had to keep reminding them all that I hated all of them.   Every character from Harry Potter sucks ass. Voldemort was my favorite, but only because he was the one guy who wanted to kill all of the others.   But he sucks too because he failed. 

And the shippers were the same way.   I’d say something shitty about Ron, because Ron sucks, and some smartass Joss Whedon fan would be like “Yes!  Boost the signal!  That is why Harry/Hermione is the best ship!”  And I’d be like “No, Harry and Hermione suck at least as bad as Ron does.  They’re all terrible and I hate them.”   I really do think there was some sort of Stockholm Syndrome going on with Harry Potter books, where everyone secretly knows they suck, but the fans sort of latch on to one or two characters and go like “Well, he’s not as shitty as the rest.”   Like finding spaghetti in the trash and picking out the meatball with the least amount of lint on it.   Then you’d go and start a flamewar with some other starving person over whether your meatball is shittier than theirs.  This is what people mean when they say to read another book. 

Anyway, the big thing I picked up from Sarah Z’s video is “disinterpretation”, a term coined by MSNBC columnis Zeeshan Aleem.   The Twitter thread is worth a read, but the short version is that he once remarked that a Julia Louis-Dreyfus routine wasn’t very good, and someone got mad at him for insinuating that women are incapable of being funny.    They just took his dissatisfaction with one performance by one comedian as being a universal condemnation of women comedians in general.  And this sort of thing is all over the internet.   Everyone sees what they want to see and then they take it as permission to overreact.  

I ran into this myself a while back, because someone saw who I interacted with on Twitter and decided that they’re all bad guys and if I have any interaction with them, then that makes me a bad guy too.   At the time I tried to play it cool, but the more I think about it, the more it ticks me off.   And over the course of that conversation, it was said that I don’t talk about myself much, and that’s kind of funny, because all I ever do on social media is write long-ass blog posts like this one.  I don’t expect anyone to memorize them, or even read them all the way through, but when I write all this stuff and someone goes out of their way to say they don’t know anything about me, the message is that they just didn’t pay attention to what I was saying, and they didn’t bother to try.

So I’m a little jaded from that, because I got called out for a bunch of stuff I didn’t even do or say, and apparently that’s just a thing that happens.   People will reject you for completely arbitrary reasons, not because of anything you actually said or did, and you’re left thinking you made some terrible mistake.   Except, no, I’ve seen it happen to other people, people a lore more conscientious than I am, and if they can’t satisfy the bullshit purity standards, then I never stood a chance.   If the game is rigged so I can’t win, then I’m not going to play.  

And it’s that same condition that probably draws people into these online holy wars, because if you declare yourself for the pro or anti side, at least then you’ll have a posse backing you up.   Only they don’t support you, they support your willingness to support them.    Once your commitment to their agenda wavers, even in the slightest, they will turn against you.   

Sarah Z suggests that both sides of the war drop the pro and anti terms, since they lost all meaning long ago.   But that just invites a new set of useless terms to perpetuate the same cycle.   Her more useful advice is for fandom people to broaden their horizons.   She got a lot of flak for tweeting “Go outside” once, but the ironic thing is that it’s sound advice.   I had lunch with my mom yesterday and it was just nice getting away from things for a while.   People need to do that more often, and unfortunately it feels like it’s harder to do than ever before.

But “go outside” isn’t just a literal thing.   It can mean going beyond your usual haunts, reading the same books, watching the same shows, rehashing the same conversations.   I think the reason this stuff always revolves around “shipping” is because there seems to be this deep-seated compulsion to pair fictional characters off like this, and for a lot of folks it’s the only way they can consume a story, so they do.   And they do it lot, and there’s a lot of them, and they do it the same way every time, and lo and behold the same old conflicts start up.   So maybe “go outside” should mean “go outside of that cycle once in a while.”   Just a thought. 

[inheritorofmemories-archive]

Andromaquynh Tomb Raider AU

I keep seeing those Indiana Joe fics and Mummy au post for joe/nicky and they are all very nice and cool but you know which galaxy brain idea no one has explored yet? Tomb raider AU for andy/quynh. Luckily I have nothing but time on my hands so strap in.

I re-watched the first tomb raider the other day (yes, the 2001 movie. Yes it’s 20 years old.) and the Croft universe can actually fit pretty well with Andy and Quynh with some tweaks and changes. I’ll preface this post by saying that raiding tombs and any ancient place really is not ethical At All and stealing artifacts shouldn’t happen in any way and the black market for cultural goods is an enormous spider web with ramification all over the world that is actually incredibly nefast to pretty much everything from sciences to culture to human societies and economy (look it up, it’s way bigger than just a stolen vase sold in a small market) so I’ll refer to this AU as Tomb Raider but know that what I really mean is Andy and Quynh protecting ancient sites and relics from companies and museums and the likes.

Go under the cut to read the rest of my detailed idea of what it would look like.

As much as I like the sci-fi and magic elements of the series, I really think a more grounded feel for this AU would fit them better. So no gods or illuminates or magic relics, sorry. Instead, I see this as them being adventurers who decide to put their skillset to good use and protect sites and places and objects and cultures from capitalism, stealing, overexploitation, appropriation and destruction.

Andy is Lara Croft obviously. She’s the daughter of an archeologist who mysteriously died during an excursion and fueled her will to go in the same field as her parent. Because we like complex characters in this house, I want Andy to start by actually raiding and selling from ancient sites at the beginning of her career because she's young and never learned better before she comes up close to the direct consequences of that particular market and she decides she wants no part of it. It allows for an exploration of real-world issues but it also gives her a deeper backstory and a proactive choice in being the character she is because I’m a sucker for the idea that you are not born good but you chose to be. After that, she'll keep the exploring part of her job but instead of stealing relics she’ll find lost places and give the coordinates to scientists. Daytime she uses the fonds of her family to support initiatives to protect places and restore art and goods to their rightful owners, the rest of the time she goes on cool adventures all over the world to get her hands dirty when legal means cannot get it done.

This is where Quynh comes into the picture. She’s one of Andy’s associates but not really they're in love and married. In the series, Croft has numerous allies that help her out either by giving tips or identifying objects, etc... I can totally see Andy going to Quynh for information about a particular site or object and them sticking together for the rest of the adventure and not leaving each other. Or, even funnier, Quynh has her own little business of going in the field to get things done, they run into each other and then keep running together. I really want Quynh to be a marine biologist and environment activist that also has a background in law because I think she deserves the right to legally bankrupt assholes, as a treat. Andy is exploring an underwater temple when she runs into Quynh doing plant analysis right there, they realize the site and the entire ecosystem is endangered by X industrial complex throwing their waste in the water and they bring it down while flirting and then it takes a year of adventures together and Andy who keeps finding excuses to go seek Quynh's counsel before they get together. And then, power couple who by daytime do activist work and advocate for the protection of sites and the environment and who by night dress in black and go sabotage factories, steal info to leak as whistleblowers and give various object and art back to their owners.

As a side plot that (kinda) follows canon, one of their mission goes wrong and Quynh doesn't get out with them, she's missing and they cannot find any trace of her for months/a few years and they think she's dead until Lykon locates her and they find out she's in prison somewhere. They go break her out and there's angst because Quynh believes she was forgotten by them until they talk it out and also deal with the trauma by going to therapy and bringing down the corporation that had Quynh thrown in jail. Power of love and bombs baby. After that they are much more careful but they keep doing it because they believe in the good of their work.

Also, a thing you don’t see really in the movies but is very present in the game series, about half the story if not two-thirds is spent on resolving enigmas and mysteries, not action. Sure Croft knows how to shoot and is a good fighter but the most important part is her brain and knowledge and associate in various fields (and that she seeks the help of, she's not a mary sue she has limits and has people who assist her). She thinks more than she fights and I really want to see that on Andy and Quynh, them thoroughly researching a subject, planing their op, getting info on people, going to recover intel and tools and associates and also using legal means to get things done and only going to the illegal method in last resort, and even then I want to see stealth mission with no big fight like Sudan in the movie rather than going in with a boom. Basically, show how important their brains are to the overall plot.

I also really want to add Lykon to the mix because their dynamic seems really cool from what we've seen in the movie and also from fanon and he deserves nice things okay. So he’s the tech genius that comes in the team a few years later when they're well established but technology starts to evolve and they're not the best at navigating it but Lykon is, he's the best at electrical systems and robots, internet and all the new tech. He'll help them break into places and do recon op. And then they become this tight-knit family of multiple doctorates and scientists and activists that also have a side business no one knows about (except the world knows there are people protecting the environment and cultural goods from destruction and their nickname in news press totally is The Old Guards okay).

And to end it beautifully, Andy Quynh and Lykon are a badass team for 20 years until Lykon decides to have a family so he cannot keep getting in danger and he retires to teach (happy AU, no death) and Andy and Quynh at 40 and some years old stumbles upon Nile who is starting in the field of archeology and art history and they’ll work together, thus passing the torch down to the newest generation. And you can even have a crossover with Indiana Joe and Nicky doing their things in their corner and they met on one mission, Booker can be a forger they hire from time to time to get false papers, all of them can meet and work together to fight Big Bad Guy Merrick, the possibilities are endless really once you get into the Archeological Actions Cinematic Universe (which is a genre on its own apparently).

Maybe one day I'll get to write this who knows, but I really needed to get the idea out of my head so this post shall be enough for the time being. Feel free to write or draw something from this, there's never too much Andy/Quynh content. And also, add to this post! These are just my thoughts and ideas but I would love to hear more if you have them, consider this an open discussion board about this very specific AU that has been living in my head since late summer.

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2020 Day 5: Case Fic

Fearful | @deansrightfulangerissue

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1430 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, IT Crossover, Angst Summary: It comes for children, it feeds on their fears. Dean and Cas arrive to end its reign of terror.

He Wanted More (WIP) | @becky-srs

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1621 Main Tags/Warnings: #HeWantedMore #Destiel Summary: After years of self-denying and depressing Dean realized he's in love with Cas. Cas loves him too but this two morons won't see it, until Sam takes of with Eileen to a romantic vacation and put Dean and Cas on a case with a monster who kills gay couples what takes them to be an undercover couple... may the cover fall and revel their true feelings?

Curse me | @notfunnydean

Rating: General Word Count: 3099 Main Tags/Warnings: Dean loves balett!! Summary: Dean had always loved ballet, even though he never told anyone about that. When he and Sam find cursed ballet shoes, Dean can’t resist and tries them on anyway. He gets surprised in more than just one way.

Lost and Found | @unforth & @deansrightfulangerissue

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4885 Main Tags/Warnings: Horror, Ambiguous Ending, Memory Alteration Summary: Dean and Sam's hunt in a haunted forest was bullshit from the moment the fog rolled in. And then the ghost silenced the world.

On This Night | @mittensmorgul

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5688 Main Tags/Warnings: case fic, djinn, fluff, dean knows his tropes Summary: Something goes terribly wrong while hunting a djinn. Newly-human Cas had never considered what the effects of djinn poison could be for a human, and struggles to remember why everything seems just so slightly off when he wakes up back at the cabin he and Dean had been staying in during the hunt. The cabin has been transformed with holiday decorations, and Cas wonders just how long he'd been unconscious. Only when he tries to get answers from Dean, reality comes crashing back in on them both, in the best of all possible ways.

Heavenly Flavor | @songbird211

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7190 Main Tags/Warnings: First Time/Fluff/lust monster/Sam Ships It/Anal/Blowjobs/Nipple Play/Top Dean/Top Cas/Bottom Dean/Bottom Cas/Voyeurism/Wing Kink/Love Confession Summary: During a case involving college men going missing Dean and Cas are taken by the creature responsible. This creature loves having sex with humans, hence the kidnappings, but this time she wants to fulfill her fantasy of watching two men have sex and she thinks Dean and Cas will do nicely.

The Unexpected Consequences of Amnesia | @pray4jensen

Rating: Mature Word Count: 10539 Main Tags/Warnings: Casefic, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealousy, Secret Relationship, Miscommunication, Dubious Consent Summary: When a spell backfires and results in Sam losing a year’s worth of memories, Sam’s really not that worried. After all, Dean reassures him that he hasn’t missed much and for the first time in a long time, the supernatural world’s at peace. Except then Dean and Cas exchange a look. Except then Sam keeps seeing them sneak around at night, into each other’s bedrooms, or whispering stealthily into each other’s ears whenever they think that he’s not looking. So naturally, Sam just has to investigate. Or the one where Sam obliviously and almost single-handedly brings about the collapse of Dean and Cas’ marriage in the span of one week.

Angeleech | @noiproksa

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 14457 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Compliant, Team Free Will, Hugs, Family Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Castiel, Banter, Platonic Cuddling, Sharing a Bed, Case Fic Summary: It was supposed to be an easy hunt, but then everything goes sideways. Dean and Sam have to take care of an injured Cas and find out what is going on with the angel before it is too late. (Intended as gen, but can be read as Destiel pre-slash.)

Ten Inch Hero | @banshee1013

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 16689 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Canon Compliant, Case Fic, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hurt Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Witch Curses, Castiel/Dean Winchester in the Men of Letters Bunker, Researching Sam Winchester, No Archive Warnings Summary: After returning from Purgatory the second time, Castiel and Dean were just beginning to explore the new direction of their relationship, when on a case involving missing hunters, Dean is struck by a witch's curse and turned into a ten-inch plastic figurine. Can Sam find a way to revert the effects of the curse and return Dean to himself before the tiny spark of life Cas detects in him fades away? Or will Cas lose Dean just as their relationship has begun?

Trouble in Paradise | @its-funnier-in-klingon

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1746 Main Tags/Warnings: canon divergence, human!Cas, post 14x09, Hawaii, case fic, bed-sharing, ghosts, mutual pining Summary: Sam finds a case where gay couples are being tormented by a ghost in a resort in Kauai, Hawaii. Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack embark to the resort where Dean and Cas must go undercover to take down the ghost, all while trying to sort through all their own personal issues.

Unthought Known | @noiproksa

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 18337 Main Tags/Warnings: Temporary Amnesia, Profound Bond, Team Free Will, Banter, Canon Compliant, Hugs, Case Fic, Soul Bond Summary: Dean wakes up in an abandoned mental institution with no memories and two strange guys, ‘Sam’ and ‘Castiel.’ They have to work together if they want to find out who they are and what happened to them. And what the hell is this profound bond he seems to share with Castiel? * Dean woke up with a pounding headache on the floor of a bright white, windowless room and no recollection of how he got there. What the hell was he doing in what looked like some sort of psych ward? Before he could get his bearings, he heard moaning coming from behind him and got to his feet, swiveling around, ready to fight whoever was in the room with him. ‘Whoever’ turned out to be two someones. One man with abnormally long hair and one guy in a trench coat who had a ‘tax accountant’ vibe to him. Who were these clowns? (Intended as gen, but can be read as Destiel pre-slash.)

Suck It, Judy Garland | @midrashic

Rating: Mature Word Count: 20116 Main Tags/Warnings: N/A Summary: It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

Making it Up as We Go | @Foxymoley

Rating: Mature Word Count: 24439 Main Tags/Warnings: Case fic, ghost, Angel!Cas, choose your own adventure Summary: A choose your own adventure story! The Winchester's catch a case—an ordinary salt and burn—but Dean's decisions along the way are up to you!

The Memory Remains | FriendofCarlotta (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 28408 Main Tags/Warnings: Case fic, post-canon, POV Dean Winchester Summary: With Chuck defeated, Dean's trying hard to get his head back in the game. What he needs is a bit of peace and quiet, and maybe a nice, straightforward hunt. What he most definitely doesn't need is this thing about monsters trying to summon some kind of hermaphroditic goat person. Or dealing with Cas, whose powers are still failing and who is acting more human in increasingly disconcerting ways.

Human Error | @jemariel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 33435 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate season 9, case fic, wendigos, human Castiel, Cas in the bunker, miscommunication, drunk sex, top!Dean, bottom!Cas, 69 (sex position), bedsharing Summary: Cas is human now, and things aren't going to plan. (Not that Dean had a plan. Nope. No plans of any kind.) Anyway, what's a Winchester to do when everything he tries seems to blow up in his face? Go hunting. Obviously.

Fade to Hell | @alisuwink **Also in English**

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 37549 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Sam Winchester,Alastair (Supernatural), Bobby Singer, Slow Burn, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Universe, Season/Series 05, Fanart, Action/Adventure, Violence, Dark, Humor, Hell, Tortured Dean Winchester, Madness, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester Summary: It didn’t seem to be enough with Lucifer wandering free and the Apocalypse up our asses. Of course not! Now, Sammy’s soul has ended in fucking Hell, and I have no choice but to go down to that fucking hole with Castiel. When we rescue Sam, he is going to be buying me beers for the rest of his damn life. *Note: the fic is finished in Spanish, I'll have it in English by June.

Highway 9 | @ellis-park

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 38909 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, mutual pining, suicide attempt Summary: Dean Winchester is a private investigator working what should be an open-and-shut vandalism case on an isolated stretch of rural highway. Except it’s not an open-and-shut case, because whatever is happening on Highway 9 isn’t vandalism �� it’s something far more sinister and unnatural. And if Dean is going to get to the bottom of this case, he’s going to have to rely on the one person he’s learned he can’t rely on for anything — his ex-best friend, Cas Novak.

Someone Who’s Feeling for Me | @ellis-park

Rating: Mature Word Count: 45876 Main Tags/Warnings: Mutual pining, case fic, canon universe Summary: Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight. Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away. Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

Silver and Cold | @pomegranatedaffodil

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 64851 Main Tags/Warnings: Case Fic, Hunter Castiel, Small Town Setting, Religious Themes, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Injuries, Minor Character Death,Tragic Backstory, Nightmares, Angst with a Happy Ending, Switching Summary: The death of a young man in an apparent animal attack brings hunter Cas Novak to the small town of Sydnam, Maine. It doesn’t take long for him to realize he’s tracking a werewolf, but discovering the killer’s identity is no easy task. All signs point towards Dean Winchester, a lonely recluse who lives in the middle of the woods and whose antagonistic behaviour does little to lessen Cas’ suspicions. As the investigation drags on, their mutual distrust gives way to a wary alliance. Cas’ instincts warn him that Dean is hiding something, but as he uncovers the man beneath the mystery, his professional interest becomes far more personal. Praying his faith in Dean isn’t misplaced, Cas races to catch the killer before the next full moon rises and another life is abruptly cut short.

[doomonfilm]

Ranking : Jim Jarmusch (1953 - present)

When you get someone adept at the art of filmmaking that can resonate at the highest vibrations when creating, that is a blessing in itself, but when you get a jack of all trades, everyman who is deeply observant and unabashedly humanist, and happens to make films to boot, then you start reaching the realms of Jim Jarmusch.  As a Midwestern kid who studied at New York’s famed Columbia University before transitioning to a span in Paris, Jarmusch has the unique gift of deeply appreciating lofty art on the same level as outsider, underground art, and by understanding the context that connects all of them, his appreciation of time is enhanced by association.  In a world that has become obsessed with taking in information with no intention of retention at a breakneck speed, it is refreshing to know that Jim Jarmusch has stood his ground in terms of deliberate pacing and tone.

Most of my Jarmusch familiarity came from the first half of his catalog, and it’d been years since I watched his work, so rather than rank what I remembered while trying to fit first watches in, I decided that the time was right to revisit the entire catalog.  Doing so not only gave me a broader understanding of his overall vision, but it made me realize that a director with 25 years in the game is still capable of making drastic style shifts.  Without further ado, here is my preferential ranking of the 13 Jim Jarmusch films available as of March 2021.

13. Coffee and Cigarettes (2003) This isn’t a bad film, but Coffee and Cigarettes definitely reeks of a narrative-less venture.  The best parts of Coffee and Cigarettes come in attempts at placing what was shot explicitly for the film, versus what was shot during the previous fifteen or so years that Jim Jarmusch directed other feature films.  Taken as a collection of independent vignettes, the film is rich in memorable moments, but for a director so adept at unifying themes with incredible nuance, specifically within the obtuse hurdles presented by an anthology film, Coffee and Cigarettes feels much more like assorted pieces than a fractured whole.  More so than an original idea, the movie feels like a deep cut that true fans will appreciate, casual fans can easily reference, and Jarmusch-laymen can use as an entry into deeper conversations.  If nothing else, see Coffee and Cigarettes for the incredibly entertaining scene where Cate Blanchett acts circles around Cate Blanchett, but Cate Blanchett still does her thing. 

12. Broken Flowers (2005) Bill Murray has been popular longer than I’ve been alive, but somewhere around the beginning of the 21st century, it seemed like the entire world caught Bill Murray fever in a major way.  After a couple of iconic roles in films by Wes Anderson and Spike Jonze, his star was riding new and unfathomable highs, and that was right when Jim Jarmusch teased collaboration via Coffee and Cigarettes before diving headlong into it with Broken Flowers.  Of all the Jim Jarmusch films, this one still feels the least like his style, at least in terms of purity.  Most of its magic comes from surrounding Bill Murray with Jeffrey Wright as a human conscience, as well as a parade of memorable actresses the likes of Sharon Stone, Frances Conroy, Jessica Lange, TIlda Swinton, Chloë Sevigny and more.  The film runs high on charm, and for any man staring at the Autumn of his years, the feelings of romantic regrets are likely relatable on some level.  Interestingly, this project feels like one of the most accessible in the Jarmusch canon, perhaps because of its efficient production presentation.  If there were ever a Jim Jarmusch date movie, it’s Broken Flowers.

11. Permanent Vacation (1980) Upon initial viewing, Permanent Vacation possesses many of the earmarks of a student film, such as limited locations, long passages with minimal dialogue, symbolic monologues in place of standard narrative dialogue, and isolated characters within the context of an implied bigger world.  The strengths that the film possesses, however, are elements that became staples in Jim Jarmusch films : a protagonist either absent of motivation or driven from within, cross-cultural fascination and iconography and the aforementioned patient approach to narrative are some of the key ingredients in the Jarmusch recipe.  As a unique voice in a burgeoning New York collective of filmmakers, it makes total sense that his debut would be both an ode to New York City and an ode to living life like an outsider in the mecca of culture.  This film probably wouldn’t be the best place to start a curious party to the Jim Jarmusch canon, but it would certainly be one to circle back to if their interest is piqued… I would recommend this one to fans of Richard Linklater’s early work for sure.

10. Stranger Than Paradise (1984) Stranger Than Paradise marks the first of many black and white commercial releases from Jim Jarmusch.  As a second film, it has everything you’d want to see from a director finding his place in the industry : the cinematography has evolved and incorporated more movement, Jarmusch is starting to let his personality shine through via musical choices, and the stories are evolving into more relatable narratives rather than ruminations on isolation (while simultaneously becoming much funnier).  Jarmusch still isn’t afraid to let his films breathe, however, which leaves his distinct style present even among the areas of growth.  The incorporation of a strong female lead presence (thanks to Eszter Balint’s brilliant performance) showed that Jarmusch had a full understanding when it came to presenting stories for everyone on the screen, rather than limiting his voice to male characters.  The casting of John Lurie and Richard Edson opposite one another is kinetic both visually and in terms of performance, as each of their versions of uptight laid-backness compliment one another.

9. Night on Earth (1991) Of the anthology films that Jim Jarmusch has created, Night on Earth is possibly my favorite.  More so than any of the others, it captures the intriguing aspects of human nature by juxtaposing them directly against the very human tendency to judge books by their covers.  With the vast majority of the film taking place in a handful of taxi cabs, we are left in the hands of the actors and actresses in the hopes that their interactions, chemistry and dialogues can keep us captivated, and the cast presented in the film completely stand up to the challenge in their pairings.  Jarmusch also presents movie audiences with a way to show different worldly locations without having to lean on the cinematic and iconic shorthand that we are used to, such as the Hollywood sign, Times Square, the Eiffel Tower and so on… instead, we are shown places that locals would inhabit in all of their rundown and lived in glory, which in turn, amplifies the grounded realness of the interactions, as if we are looking at a fictional blueprint for what would later become the popular HBO series Taxicab Confessions.  This film sits in-between two of Jim Jarmusch’s most iconic releases, so it is easy to see how this one could be easily lost in the shuffle, but it is certainly not a film to be missed, especially for those who would consider themselves Jarmusch fans.

8. Paterson (2016) Jim Jarmusch brings a humble sense of humanity to all of his films, but Paterson stands out for its nuance, subtlety and confidence in its patience.  Much like Forrest Gump or a less abstract Charlie Kaufman film, Paterson dwells in an interesting realm of an unknowingly wise protagonist tethered to the center of tornado-like emotions and experiences from all they encounter.  Jarmusch manages to take this framework, dial down the absurdity to a sneaky degree, and ramp up the grounded elements to the point where a viewer cannot help but graft pieces of themselves onto the events presented.  As a musician with a day job, I can also relate to Paterson’s displays of beauty found in redundancy, and the peace that comes with understanding intentions for creative expression, even if others see it in a different light that you do.  While not the grandest of Jim Jarmusch gestures, it is without a doubt one of the most sincere and heartfelt of his selections.  

7. Mystery Train (1989) Mystery Train marks the first definitive signs of Jim Jarmusch knowing, understanding and utilizing the tools he’d come to favor in a manner that seemingly resonated what he pictured in his head.  Memphis as a setting provides the juxtaposition of beauty and urban decay captured in Permanent Vacation; placing our audience on a journey with two foreign tourists brings the worldly view introduced in Stranger Than Paradise; and, most importantly, all of the coolness and humor that thrived in Down by Law returns triumphantly.  Jarmusch also puts anthology filmmaking on the table, which is important for two reasons… first and foremost, it would become a style he would go on to thrive in, returning to it immediately with Night on Earth and once more with Coffee and Cigarrettes… secondly, as for Mystery Train directly, it allowed Jarmusch to surround Masatoshi Nagase and Youki Kudoh (burgeoning stars Western audiences were unfamiliar with) and Nicoletta Braschi, and surround them with his talented friends like Steve Buscemi, Cinqué Lee, Rick Aviles, Vondie Curtis-Hall and Tom Noonan, as well as legendary musicians like Tom Waits, Joe Strummer, Screamin’ Jay Hawkins and Rufus Thomas.  Between these high profile castings, the stylish cinematography and the heartfelt quirkiness of the leads, Mystery Train feels like the film where everything came together in the best ways possible.

6. Down by Law (1986) To my knowledge, Down by Law would be considered the breakout success of the Jim Jarmusch library.  John Lurie returned to the fold to provide another performance infused with coolness, but this time around, up and coming Italian star Roberto Benigni and iconic recording artist turned actor Tom Waits share lead duties, forming an unlikely trio with monstrously dynamic on-screen chemistry.  Jarmusch not only switched things up for himself by setting the film in New Orleans rather than centering it around New York, but he turned the jailbreak genre on its ear by focusing on the escapees rather than the escape itself.  The conflict between Jack and Zack is seeded with their individual problems with women (which both include emasculating each man by chastising them for not using domestic violence), as well as each of them ending up framed prior to imprisonment, which makes Roberto the de facto peacemaker despite his huge language barrier.  Down by Law marks the first time that edginess found its way into a Jim Jarmusch film, and while it never became his forte, it wasn’t the last time that element was key to a Jarmusch film.

5. The Limits of Control (2009) When reflecting on The Limits of Control, the word patience comes to mind : the patience of accepting repetition… the patience of a trilingual film with minimal dialogue… the patience of a film that shows much more than it tells.  As a take on noir, the Jim Jarmusch variety brings to mind films like Le Samourai, where actions speak infinitely louder than words, choices come with a definitive set of consequences, and we as viewers are allowed to consider what we are presented with in real time, just like our protagonist.  The coolness levels are also pushed to maximum levels in this film, but then, what’s a Jim Jarmusch film without a generous dose of cool in it?  While it is never rightly stated, I like to pretend that The Limits of Control takes place in the same universe as Ghost Dog, with Raymond having evolved into The Lone Man using the tools left behind by Ghost Dog.  Maybe it’s a bit of embellishment on my end, but it makes an already great film have that little extra touch of pizazz needed to stand out from the pack. 

4. Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999) While Jim Jarmusch isn’t necessarily a household name, he is relatively well known, and for many familiar with his work, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai served as the introductory film for them.  The casting of Forest Whitaker in the lead role continued the trend of higher profile names joining the Jarmusch fold, and stylistically, the mixture of Ghost Dog’s hitman and samurai worlds with that of the mafia film (which was about to see a popularity resurgence in light of the recent premier of The Sopranos) was alive, kinetic, and rich with varied personalities.  Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai also stood as an early example of RZA’s talents in the realm of scoring films, which would later go on to be a key element of Kill Bill: Vol. 1.  For a movie with a more traditional approach, perhaps even the most accessible approach of all Jarmusch films, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai is anything but conventional, and it’s the sense of pride it wears in its non-conventionality that makes it the cult classic it became.

3. The Dead Don't Die (2019) Not since Dead Man has Jim Jarmusch picked such a distinct genre for a film of his, or decided to include such a long list of high profile names in character roles.  While the sense of doom that usually comes with zombie movies is present, Jarmusch sticks to his toolkit by focusing solidly on the human element during the early portions of the film where many people would already have zombies doing the narrative and visual heavy lifting, and in turn, the audience finds themselves drawn deeper and deeper into the story well before the undead arrive.  Of all the Jarmusch films, The Dead Don’t Die has the rare designation of being the only one that seems to comment on film itself, be it references to iconic characters from other properties, ruminations on film as a format, or even discussions centered around film fandom.  While most films tend to stay around from outright explanations of whatever the root cause of the zombies are, The Dead Don’t Die uses the vacuum as a brief opportunity to make a comment on polar fracking and other climate/environment-altering processes.  Even the zombies get the most on-screen humanity received since the days of George Romero’s Dead series, a refreshing change of pace that has been often ignored in recent films centered around the undead.  Films like this one prove that Jim Jarmusch has the capacity to make films about most anything, and the further he strays from his supposed comfort zone, the seemingly better the films get.

2. Only Lovers Left Alive (2013) For a man so dedicated to being aware of the passage of time, a man with a deep appreciation for nostalgic cool of all eras, and a man with a rich and layered appreciation for art and music from across the board, it makes total sense that Only Lovers Left Alive would be a celebration of all these aspects framed as an eternal love with a deep cross-section between the original lovers and the tales of vampires.  The vampiric leads allow Jarmusch the perfect vehicle to seamlessly tie stellar creativity from any point in time with a singular line, and the deep implications of our protagonists' names suggest a subtextual lore that one could likely build a cinematic universe around.  For a venture with aspirations this lofty, the casting must fit the call, and the main four of Tilda Swinton, Tom Hiddleston, John Hurt and Jeffrey Wright build a solid foundational square for all characters to navigate deep emotions freely.  If you’re looking for Twilight and Interview with the Vampire fare, you’ll probably long for more, but if films like Let the Right One In are more your speed, then Only Lovers Left Alive will likely be a revelation.

1. Dead Man (1995) While Jim Jarmusch never lost his auteur sensibilities, Dead Man marked his initial foray into the world of larger scale traditional productions through the vehicle of the period piece.  Jarmusch films were not unfamiliar with showing us a broader view of the world we know, but transposing his trademark style into the world of the Western marked a bold (but ultimately rewarding) turn.  With Neil Young serving as his Ennio Morricone, Jarmusch dusted off his black and white filmmaking equipment and seemingly told the production design team to blend all of the best parts of Spaghetti Western and German Expressionism.  Johnny Depp, the film’s star, was riding the wave of success afforded from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?, Benny & Joon and Ed Wood, and Dead Man carried that momentum right along.  As for his Western universe, the list of names that Jarmusch chose to populate it with is where his style stood out : Crispin Glover, John Hurt, Robert Mitchum, Iggy Pop, Gibby Haines, Gabrielle Byrne, Billy Bob Thornton, Alfred Molina and more drive home Depp’s “fish out of water” characterization convincingly.  Based on its period-piece designation, Dead Man signalled a drastic leap in style utilization for Jarmusch, a creative rarified air that he would return to for several future productions.

[rachelbethhines]

Vintage Shows to Watch While You Wait for the Next Episode of WandaVision - The 80s

OK so we are back to the sitcom timeline shenanigans so lets jump into the 80s.  

1. The Greatest American Hero (1981 - 1983) 

A more comedic spoof on the superhero genre, even more so than the pervious Batman series. A regular joe finds an alien suit that gives him superpowers and antics ensue. 

2. Family Ties (1982 - 1989) 

One of the most successful family sitcoms of the 80s, Family Ties is mostly remembered for launching the career of Michael J Fox. While his character of the suave, yet nerdy Alex P. Kenton does steal the show, the series smartly plays him as part of an assemble and not the singular star.  Allowing him to bounce off his fellow cast members and provide levity or tear jerking moments when needed. Often at the same time. 

Which is what proved to make the show popular as it merged serious topics and drama within the sitcom format. This cultural turning point in sitcoms is evident in Wandavision’s episode five as things become far more serious. It’s also evident in its opening titles which pays homage to the series. 

3. Knight Rider (1982 - 1986)

If you prefer a more serious 80s super hero show then there is Knight Rider. Now the main human character is considered the ‘star’ of the show but the real hero is the robotic talking car as his team mate. Voiced by Mr. Feeny himself William Daniels. 

4. The A-Team (1983 - 1987) 

The last of the spy shows for awhile, and arguably not even a spy show, but it follows the format of action spy shows of the pervious 70s. A team of ex-military special forces go on the run when framed for crimes they didn’t commit and become a bunch of mercenaries with morals. Come for the explosions but stay for the Mr. T. 

5.The Cosby Show (1984 - 1992) 

While some may wish to forget this show given the later revealed scandals involving it’s star and creator, there is no denying the impact the series had during it’s time on air. It helped to further break the glass ceiling and normalize black led family sitcoms on air. 

6.Growing Pains (1985 - 1992)

Perhaps Family Ties only real competitor during the 80s outside of The Cosby Show. The main draw of the series was that it had not one but three cute teenaged boys to compete with Michael J Fox. Which is hard cause it’s Michael J Fox, but still its something that a pre-teen straight girl or gay boy would nevertheless find appealing. Especially with pre-Titanic DiCaprio over there.  

7. ALF (1986 - 1990) 

Like with the pervious decade, there wasn’t many fantasy sitcoms on the air in the 80s. ALF was the exception. Like with My Favorite Martian and Mork and Mindy before it, the show involved hiding an alien away from the rest of the world in US suburbia. The biggest difference was that it was a whole family keeping the secret rather then just one sole confidant. Also as a puppet and not a human actor, Alf could not blend in with the rest of humanity making the task that much harder and that much funnier. 

8. Full House (1987 - 1995)

My brain automatically catalogues this series as a 90s show because of TGIF on ABC. In fact it’s canonically in the same universe as those shows. But it got it’s start in the late 80s and is referenced a lot in this week’s episode. Not the least of which because Elizabeth Olsen is the sister of Mary Kate and Ashely Olsen, who become famous due to their role on the show. 

As for the series itself, it’s basically Three Men and a Baby the series, but with two extra little girls added into the mix. 

9. The Wonder Years (1988 - 1993)

First came Happy Days creating nostalgia for the 50s and then came wonder years giving us 60s nostalgia instead. 

10. Quantum Leap (1989 - 1993) 

For our anthology series this week, lets head back to our sci-fi roots with yet another show that features time travel. Quantum Leap is about a man who leaps into the bodies of people who lived through out history, temporarily possessing them, as he tries to find his way back home to his own body. In order to make another leap he has to ‘fix’ what ever current problem that person is facing. 

Runner Ups

Battlestar Galactica (1978 - 1980) 

The original Battlestar Galactica was just Bonanza meets Star Wars and it was glorious!

Cheers (1982 - 1993) 

One of the most successful sitcoms of all time is just about a bunch of middle aged white folks getting drunk in a bar every week. Which is kind of brilliant in it’s simple stupidity. 

The Golden Girls (1985 - 1992)

Do I even need to explain what the Golden Girls is on trumblr? Well in case you’ve been living under a rock it’s a sitcom about four old women living together, having lots of sex (no, not with each other), and talking about social issues that are still relevant today. 

Married ...with Children (1987 - 1997)

A spoof of family sitcoms of the time featuring a dysfunctional meanspirited family. There’s no seriousness or sweetness here but there sure are a lot of laughs.  

Roseanne (1988 - 1997)

If Married ...with Children was a spoof, then Roseanne was a serious satire. Much like the Honeymooners before it, Roseanne defied the idyllic suburb living family and strove to show the real, gritty, and often forgotten working class family. To mixed results. Even ignoring how unpleasant its main star can be in real life, you’ll either love or hate the show, there’s not much in-between. 

[laurelnose]

the Library at Kaer Morhen

Full disclosure: I am a student of library and information science, not a historian of anything, but I do know a little bit about historical libraries and the general scope of information collection and organizational work, so! here is a brief summary of what might have been in Kaer Morhen’s library, how the library functioned, and what is left of the library as of show timeline.

The closest analogs to Kaer Morhen’s library would have been monastic libraries of medieval Europe and to some extent later medieval university libraries (which existed a little later in history than the years Kaer Morhen was active). On the other hand, Sapkowski likes anachronisms in his worldbuilding, so I don’t feel beholden to perfect historical accuracy on that front and you shouldn’t either. One big difference, for instance, is there doesn’t seem to be any shortage of paper/parchment in the Witcher world like there was in medieval Europe (especially considering the video games), so Kaer Morhen would be totally free to, for instance, keep a lot of ephemera that would never have been created in the first place/been recycled into more ‘important’ texts in an actual medieval library.

This is long, so I’m putting it below the cut.

what was in the library?

Because of the specialized focus of the School of the Wolf (Kaer Morhen’s library is what the LIS field would uncreatively call a “special collection”) most of the materials would probably have been related to the School and its goals, so primarily nonfiction, reference, and archival material.

Kaer Morhen would have two main types of materials: stuff by witchers and stuff not by witchers.

In book and game canon, non-witcher academics study monsters, as well as relevant topics such as alchemy, regular biology, and magic. Subjects like history would also probably mostly be drawn from outside the keep. Witchers might have picked these up in the course of their travels and donated them to the library or have been sent out specifically to retrieve desired volumes. The mages would likely have been able to portal in and out of the keep; this would have allowed the mages to collect texts as well (they may also have potentially had access to mage-only sources for books and materials such as other mages and the mage schools; YMMV on how willing these sources might have been to share with Kaer Morhen’s mages).

Regarding stuff-by-witchers, most of it would have been created by Wolf School witchers and affiliated mages (who I will consider honorary witchers for this purpose). Some of these materials might also have created by witchers from other schools—Kaer Morhen might have traded with other schools for materials, or non-Wolf witchers who needed to shelter at Kaer Morhen might have left materials there. Witcher-created materials might have included some or all of the following:

armor and sword diagrams

treatises and bestiaries by witchers

witchers’ personal/field journals

case/hunt reports

witcher-only alchemy recipes/alchemical research notes

mages’ research notes

important correspondence

saved contract notices

inventory and supply records (this is what the first-ever historical libraries were created to organize!)

personnel records (It’s W3 canon that records were kept of the boys who didn’t survive the Trial of the Grasses; likely similar records were kept of graduating/active witchers and their deaths.) 

The collection itself probably wasn’t that big. Literacy in the Witcher seems somewhat more widespread than it was in actual medieval Europe, but for reference, in 1331 one of the largest libraries in Europe had only 1,850 books in its collection, whereas the second-largest public library system in America today keeps an average of 570 thousand books per location. If Kaer Morhen was keeping ephemera like saved contract notices the total number of individual items would probably have been a lot higher, but by modern standards it would have been pretty a small collection overall.

It also might not have all lived in one place. Smaller collections likely existed in other pockets of the keep: the mages’ tower probably had the bulk of the resources on magic and research on mutagens, for instance, and alchemy texts might have lived in the mutagen/potion labs for ease of access. Individual witchers keeping stashes at Kaer Morhen might also have had small private collections. 

Fictional/artistic materials such as novels or poetry are unlikely to have been a priority of whoever was in charge of acquisitions for the library. If Kaer Morhen had any, they were likely brought to the keep by witchers who personally fancied particular volumes and gave them to the library, or they existed mostly in private collections. Plausibly some witchers might have spent winters writing poetry and such. 

If there was written erotica floating around Kaer Morhen, I would guess most of it existed primarily in witchers’ private collections rather than officially cataloged or kept in the main library. This would make it much more difficult for trainees to sneak around and steal trashy romances, but stealing from specific witchers is also arguably funnier, so do with this what you will.

how did the library work?

There was absolutely at least one person dedicated to the upkeep and maintenance of the collection. More reasonably the head librarian would have had at least one or two assistants (possibly full-time, possibly on-and-off), depending on how dedicated you think Kaer Morhen was to saving and cataloging stuff. Fewer people are needed to keep a collection in order if people aren’t regularly wandering off with stuff. (Fun fact: the librarian of a monastic library was called an armarius or armarian.)

Tasks the librarian and assistants would take care of would include:

helping people find things

repairing, restoring, or copying materials that needed it

acquisitions (requires knowing what gaps of knowledge exist in the collection and figuring out what books to fill them with)

cataloging and keeping inventory (elaborated on further below)

checking out books and tracking where loaned books were

Speaking of checking books out: we have very little information about how specific lending policies worked in medieval libraries, but monastic libraries did lend things out to other monasteries and to individuals. However, witchers probably very rarely wanted to take books out of the keep with them, since books are a pain to carry around all year. Monastery libraries sometimes had written contracts for taking books out, which might have been the case for witchers who just wanted to have books out around the keep. There’s no evidence of card catalogs in medieval libraries but it wouldn’t be implausible for the library to have used something similar to keep track of checkouts if there was paper available. It is unlikely that Kaer Morhen would have enforced a certain time period for check-outs, especially if books remained in the keep; when everyone knows everyone, that becomes sort of unnecessary.

The actual organization of the library would have been…messy, by modern standards. Medieval catalogs were simple lists of items, featuring the title and author, or if neither existed, the first couple of lines of the first page, and perhaps a call number or shelf. They also often described the physical appearance of the book in detail. These lists would have been roughly sorted by either subject or by the physical shelf and shelving order of the items (or both). Some catalogs were sorted by the donor of the items, but this seems unlikely for Kaer Morhen. Sorting by surname or author seems to have been basically nonexistent.

The main purpose of a catalog was to do inventory (usually done at least once a year—probably a spring task at Kaer Morhen, after cataloging any new stuff witchers brought in over the winter), not to locate items.

Materials that existed in smaller collections (if the mages or alchemy labs had their own places to store books) might have been in the catalogs of the main library with notes that they were shelved in other buildings, or they might have had their own catalogs kept up by the people who used those resources most frequently.

When it came to actually finding stuff, the catalog would have been very difficult for people to navigate and someone looking for something specific would have just asked the librarian (or if they were a huge nerd, just been familiar enough with the collection to know where it was and cut out the middleman). Call numbers for books did exist in medieval libraries, but they varied wildly from library to library. Kaer Morhen might also have put numbers on the sides of its bookshelves to help find things, as was done in Roman libraries. (As an aside, it was common for medieval books to be color-coded for subject: red for theology, black for law, green for medicine, etc., which is not really true of books in the video game but would have helped with locating items.)

Notably, Kaer Seren, the Griffin keep, was destroyed by mages for refusing to share its library (presumably the most extensive of any of the witcher libraries); that doesn’t mean Kaer Seren and Kaer Morhen didn’t share materials with each other or the other witcher keeps, but it means outsiders likely were not allowed access to any of the witcher libraries, either directly or indirectly.

what is the library probably like as of the show timeline?

When Kaer Morhen was sacked and the secrets of the Trials were lost, that assault in all likelihood included systematic destruction of most of the library collection.

TW3 shows Ciri has access to bestiaries during her childhood, so either a few things survived in various corners of the keep, the witchers have still been acquiring and bringing back volumes to Kaer Morhen during their travels despite the dissolution of the library, or after she was brought to Kaer Morhen they collected texts specifically for her.

Attempting to properly rebuild the library, even just the non-witcher texts, would be a full-time job for anyone who wanted to pick it up, especially as the catalogs would likely have been destroyed with the books. Probably none of the remaining Wolf School witchers were quite familiar enough with the library’s structure to even begin a project like that, even if they wanted to. The violent destruction of everyone in Kaer Morhen and all of Kaer Morhen’s history would also be an enormous source of pain, so my suspicion is, while they may have a few books that they used for Ciri’s education, none of them have touched the library itself or desire to. Unfortunately? The library is, most likely, currently a room full of ashes.

[kirimono]

bnha secret identity au

a while back (like over a year ago) some friends and i were talking about a bnha au where theyre more classic Teen Superheroes With Secret Identities. that chatlog is under the cut.

ShriekingSisterhood

BAKUGO WOULD NEVER COMPLIMENT AN HERO BESIDES HIMSELF, EVEN IF HIS IDENTITY WAS SECRET

dataghost

lmfao yeah

cassetticon

bakugous identity would only be secret for like 5 minutes

starsinger

jsdfidksbgj

fuck

ShriekingSisterhood

Someone: Idk ingenium is kinda shit

starsinger

thats. reayyly funny to contemplate actually

cassetticon

"WOW KING OF EXPLODOKILLS WHOS THAT SOUNDS LIKEA  COOL GUY"

dataghost

exactly like the end of iron man

ShriekingSisterhood

Bakugo emerging from a nearby dumpster: ye totally but you know whos the fucking coolest LORD EXPLOSION MURDE

cassetticon

yeah

ShriekingSisterhood

In secred id au everyone knows bakugos id

not even bc he bragged about it or anything hes just his own #1 fan

cassetticon

yeah

starsinger

also he cant hide his hair

ShriekingSisterhood

WHAT IF HIS CITIZEN DISGUIZE IS HIS BEST JEANIST HAIR

cassetticon

holy fuck

dataghost

god hed just be. dead inside

ShriekingSisterhood

oh god, oh man, okay this might be dilly but

everyone in secret id au knows bakugo is lord explosion murder

)drmatic pause, lifts finger for effect)

except kirishima

cassetticon

WOW

starsinger

aughdshfjdfsdgh

cassetticon

YEAH,

ShriekingSisterhood

who  is so fucking cursed

THAT HE HAS A CRUSH ON BOTH OF THEM

dataghost

oh nooooooooo

starsinger

HHAHAHAHAHAH OH NOOOOOOOO

ShriekingSisterhood

WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING THEY ARE THE SAME AWFUL BOY

starsinger

EYAYHH

cassetticon

SCREAMS

ShriekingSisterhood

Kirishima to his jock pal Uravity: I dunno like I like both of them so much like, I can't figure out which one to like, ask to punch me??

cassetticon

jesus

starsinger

haugh.

dataghost

god unfortch

cassetticon

ochako is trying very hard to figure out how to tell him

ShriekingSisterhood

Kirishima: it's impossible to choose between them

dataghost

man bakugou is like . barely even disguised in his costume

and kirishima still has no clue

cassetticon

yeah thats the best part

ShriekingSisterhood

Kirishima: I love them both equally but for different reasons

starsinger

spiff this is the worst

i love it

ShriekingSisterhood

EVEN ZAP BOY KNOWS

BUT NOT KIRISHIMA

starsinger

god. i want to see the HIJINKS

cassetticon

same. god

ShriekingSisterhood

bonus points if Bakugo honestly believes he has most people fooled

starsinger

kirishima accidentally schedules a study date with bakugou at the same time red riot has a training session with king of explodokills

ShriekingSisterhood

FUCK

cassetticon

screams

starsinger

i dont know how this happens. i could see kirishima doing it but i feel like bakugou keeps better track of his schedule than that but

cassetticon

i mean bakugou is also under the curse's thrall

dataghost

wait so does bakugou know kirishima is red riot

starsinger

did he get........... Flustered

ShriekingSisterhood

omg

starsinger

its funnier if no i think

but

ShriekingSisterhood

he got flustered

dataghost

i feel like bakugou knows like no one's secret identities because he just doesnt fucking care

starsinger

yeah

ShriekingSisterhood

MAYBE HE THOUGHT KIRISHIMA WAS DOING IT ON PURPOSE

cassetticon

yeah

thats good

@ jane

ShriekingSisterhood

oh no i like that much better

he doesn't even fucking know

cassetticon

kirishima might be the only exception tho just bc of how obnoxious he is in and out of costume

ShriekingSisterhood

the only one he knows is deku and he hates that he knows it

cassetticon

wow yeah

ShriekingSisterhood

hes constantly trying to unknow it

dataghost

god

starsinger

wheich is really funny because, again, theres not even a DISGUISE COMPONENT to kirishimas costume

cassetticon

YEAH

HIS WHOLE FACE AND TORSO IS JUST OUT THERE

starsinger

YEAH FJKDFKJKJFD

ShriekingSisterhood

HIS ABS, OUT THERE

dataghost

okay i feel like in a real secret id au they would put SOME more efffort,

maybe he has a mask

cassetticon

i Guess so

but thats not as funy

ShriekingSisterhood

what if bakugo thinks tetsu tetsu is red riot

dataghost

but the abs are still Exposed

sdfllkfdajslkjsfdjlkfdsjlsfdl;kj

cassetticon

holy fuck

ShriekingSisterhood

bc he can't be assed to tell the hard boys apart

starsinger

bakugou finally figures it out when he finally sees kirishima shirtless when theyre at the gym

cassetticon

SCREAMS

ShriekingSisterhood

FUCK!!!

THIS IS THAT GOOD SHIT!!

cassetticon

HED KNOW THOSE ABS ANYWHERE

ShriekingSisterhood

BAKUGO GLANCING OVER AT HIS BRO WHILE THEY DO SOME CURLS IN THE GYM AND HIS CROP TOP RIDES UP AND BAKUGO'S WATER BOTTLE INSTANTLY BOILS AND EXPLODES

RIGHT IN HIS HAND

starsinger

i think the concept of 'its a secret identity au but that just means they slap a tiny domino mask on but it somehow works' is great. but so is the concept of 'they have their canon costumes with no fuckgin disguise components whatsoever but none of them know ANYWAY'

also concept tho: kirishima's superhero costume is his old emo makeup

dataghost

he just starts yelling at kirishima immediately and kirishima is just like "keep it DOWN we're in a PUBLIC GYM!!!! its supposed to be a secret!!!!! :("

ShriekingSisterhood

HFGDFH

cassetticon

holy shit vera

i love this

ShriekingSisterhood

okay but what if bakugo is like "if kirishima is red riot then he obviously figured out my secret identity way before all this"

cassetticon

i love ex-emogoth kirishima

starsinger

aAaaAAAHAHGHGH

cassetticon

OHHHH MY GOD

BAKUGOU JUST TAKES IT AS A GIVEN THAT KIRISHIMA KNWOS

ShriekingSisterhood

"How did he outsmart me, how did he figure it out"

KIRISHIMA DOESN'T KNOW A FUCKING THING MY GUY

dataghost

god what if bakugou assumes like. kirishima was doing study dates & stuff with him BECAUSE of his secret identity

starsinger

ghhh OD

ShriekingSisterhood

YEAH

cassetticon

im dying of thks

ShriekingSisterhood

"HE WAS SENDING ME A MESSAGE?? WAS IT A THREAT? A CHALLENGE"

starsinger

this is so ooo oo good

ShriekingSisterhood

NO, THIS HARD BOY IS JUST, A BIG MESS

OH MY GOD

WHAT IF,

kirishima: fuck now that bakugo knows im red riot what if he sees me flirting with lord explosion murder and gets pissed

dataghost

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

cassetticon

screams

starsinger

hhfdhdhfhfhHDFHFDHFHDHDFHDF

he stops flirting with lord explosion murder so much and bakugous like

pissed

ShriekingSisterhood

THE BOY IS SIMPLY TOO CURSED TO LIVE

cassetticon

god. yeah

bakugou: hes playing me like a fool again(edited)

dataghost

i mean we're assuming bakugou noticed the flirting in the first place

ShriekingSisterhood

kirishima, meanwhile a 100% genuine no playing about it fool ass fool

fuck, since bakugo thinks all interraction is rivalry

maybe he thinks like, kirishima  no longer considers him an opponent or something??

cassetticon

oh. my god

yeah.

starsinger

yah its something like that

cassetticon

"you think youre too good for me now huh"

ShriekingSisterhood

so his pride is hurt, and also the deep subconscious tender part of him thats gay is hurt too

starsinger

he cant quite articulate his actual feelings hes just like

Pissed

dataghost

yeah

ShriekingSisterhood

Kirishima: (stops flirting)

Bakugo: I don't know what this is but i know how i feel about it: furious beyond articulation

starsinger

god i just thought about tsuyu for a second and im fdjkfdjfd

shes just a frog

ShriekingSisterhood

god,

starsinger

in both civilian and superhero forms. but its liek. no one thinks its weird

ShriekingSisterhood

good

dataghost

yeah sometimes youre just a frog, nbd

doesnt necessarily have anything to do with you being Popular Hero Froppy, nope

ShriekingSisterhood

sometimes 2 people are just frogs and that doesn't mean anything

maybe people assume tsuyu got into being a frog bc she likes Froppy

dataghost

just unrelatedly, frogs

starsinger

yeah! exactly

oh my god spiff

ShriekingSisterhood

and shes like (internally flustered) KERO

maybe its just like how there are, horse girls and dolphin girls in ever high school

dataghost

are you implying horse girls and dolphin girls are literally part horse & part dolphin in the bnha universe

ShriekingSisterhood

Is there are reason for them not to be

HEY THO... WHAT ABOUT THE BNHA STUDENTS LIKE GOSSIPING SUSPICIOUSLY... ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY NEVER SEE ALL MIGHT SENSEI IN HIS CIVILIAN FORM

like, assuming the teachers/adults are open abt their secret identities at the school

they're like "we've seen everyone out of hero mode except all might.... does he not have a civilian life"

Deku: (sweating)

dataghost

all might is extra secretive bc he's so like...."Gotta Be The Symbol Of Peace!!! No one can know i am a real human EVER!!!!!!"

ShriekingSisterhood

Student sees Greeblin Might like: "Oh are u that zombie hero"

yes but also in my head its that, they expect civilian all might to be buff

theres no extremely fucking unbelieably buff guy roaming the halls or in the teachers lounge or in town or anything

dataghost

yeah but even before his injury maybe he was like,

projected a super-super image like superman, like ~im not a civilian when im not heoring i live in My Special Secret Lair~ or soemthing

starsinger

god now im thinking about the logistics of this and its SO FUNNY that like every superhero in the entire town is at taht school. either as a teacher or as a student

dataghost

what if its not even a hero school

its just a regular ass school but everyone just HAPPENS to go there

starsinger

oh yeah like superman being like 'oh yeah i live in the fortress of solitude at the north pole'

YEAH EXACTLY

dataghost

yeah yeha

ShriekingSisterhood

oh my god

All Might: I live in a fortress of solitude in the alps and no once can see it with eyes

dataghost

all-might trying to live his civilian life pre-injury when he was always buff is so funny then tho

people keep asking him if he's all might and he's like no! look my hair doesnt stick up!

starsinger

KJFDJSDG

GOD

ShriekingSisterhood

All Might, ten minutes later: (buying milk at the local grocery  and fucking up the self checkout)

oh my god... secret buff all might is so good

its the superman glasses type effect

starsinger

'that cant be all might hes not smiling real big'

thats the extent of all mights acting skills

ShriekingSisterhood

maybe he gets a giant tshirt that says "pessimism" so no one can possibly identify him as a civillian

dataghost

sdaljkdjsakljlaksd

starsinger

akjsfjdjf

ShriekingSisterhood

"bad mood" t shirt

dataghost

i feel like he does a bunch of comics-type secret identity stuff to cover up his civilian id but its all super flimsy

like, obviously fake glasses, a shirt like that

maybe a fake mustache

starsinger

FDSDJKLFSDKJLKJL

NOOOOOO

cassetticon

and it all works

starsinger

ALL MIGHT WHIT A FAKE MUSTACHE IS AWFULLLL

dataghost

the glasses dont even have lenses theyre just a frame

cassetticon

he gets a mustache like mics bc he thinks its Cool

dataghost

its not even a blonde mustache. its like brown and OBVIOUSLY doesnt match his hair

everyone just assumes he dyes it

starsinger

he bought non-prescription glasses but one of the lenses got knocked out but he keeps wearing them

they have One Lens

dataghost

fsljdljdfs;jlfsd;

cassetticon

i love him

god

starsinger

m2

ShriekingSisterhood

what if the mustache is attached to the glasses like groucho style

dataghost

(i thought for a second about nighteye being one of the first outside the One For All lineage to know all might's civilian id and . augh)

starsinger

god i was like 'ok i have to think about todoroki now' but now i have feelings and im lie k. Put It Back :arrow_lower_left: dot jpeg

augh jane

ShriekingSisterhood

phantom of the opera shit

thats todoroki's hero disguise

dataghost

there's a fake nose on the glasses too and it barely fits overhis actual nose

ShriekingSisterhood

actually hes just covered half in ice

starsinger

oh nevermind i remembered his caonn hero costume is like

ShriekingSisterhood

so thats fine

starsinger

a plumber suit

dataghost

a plumber

starsinger

post sports arc

dataghost

what if thats his civilian job

and he just doesnt change clothesx

starsinger

gadhdhfg

noooo

ShriekingSisterhood

what civilian job does all might have

maybe he pretends to be gran torino's home health aid

starsinger

if eel like he Didnt Have One until meeting izuku. true to canon

dataghost

i was like "office job" but then realized i was literally just thinking of mr incredible at the beginning of the incredibles

starsinger

at which point he became an absolutely awful teacher

dataghost

o h noooo

starsinger

ghjdkfujfj

ShriekingSisterhood

god,,,m wow

what does he ever teach if its not a hero school

PHYS ED

dataghost

omfg

ShriekingSisterhood

HES THE SCRAWNIEST GYM TEACHER OF ALL TIME

dataghost

vjlgsdjkldfskljfsjsfj;kf;sdkjfsdkdsk;jflk

he gives GREAT inspirational speeches tho

starsinger

hujks FUK

ShriekingSisterhood

BUT LIKE AT THE SAME TIME, HE CAN LIKE LIFT AN ENTIER POMMEL HORSE WITH ONE HAND

god

what if they don't even have a sports team

so theres no games to give relevant inspirational speeches at

so hes just like, doing them at random

when he sees an in

dataghost

just at the beginning of each class

or whenever The Mood Strikes

question: is class 1b at the same school or are they Rival Schools

ShriekingSisterhood

fuck,,, both are so good

dataghost

imagine Rival School Student Monoma sneaking into their school to ~infiltrate~

ShriekingSisterhood

i like rival schools

because monoma like, steals their mascot

and kendo brings it back

dragging him over to apologise

but also i love the idea of him trying to infiltrate his own fucking school

starsinger

the concept of 'rival schools but aslo they dont have sports teams' is SOOO good

mathletes competitions get REAL intense

ShriekingSisterhood

just because A1 got the better homeroom classroom

and he wants it

oh my god intense matheletes

starsinger

science olympiad. band and choir competions.

cassetticon

MARCHING BAND AU IM HERE

ShriekingSisterhood

I WAS ABOUT TO SAY, LEE SUMMON

starsinger

ok whats the funniest sport to have if you can only have One Sport at ur school

ShriekingSisterhood

frisbee

starsinger

fall sport: ultimate frisbee

winter sport: fencing (? probably there is a funnier sport but ive got nostalgia)

spring sport: ultimate frisbee again

no

winter sport: ultimate frisbee... on ice

ShriekingSisterhood

fencing is too dignified is my concern

cassetticon

i love this concept

ShriekingSisterhood

YES

starsinger

eyah exactly spiff

ShriekingSisterhood

maybe winter sport was like curling

but no one liked it so they turned it into ice ultimate frisbee

starsinger

altho like. one time my friend spilled gatorade on the mesh of his mask and had to fence with gatorade on it and couldnt see shit

and won the bout

so

dignity is relativw

ShriekingSisterhood

wow, amazing,

OKAY BUT

TODOROKI KILLING IT AT ICE ULTIMATE FRISBEE

starsinger

HAHAHAHHAAHAHAGUHGHFDHJFD

cassetticon

WOW

starsinger

ok no

ShriekingSisterhood

BUT BEING LIKE MEDIOCRE IN THE FALL AND SPRING

starsinger

consider

ShriekingSisterhood

AND NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND WHY

starsinger

todoroki.... being really disappointed

that curling isnt a thing anymore

ShriekingSisterhood

OH NO,,, HES BE SO GOOD AT IT....

his bitterness drives his ice frisbee prowess

starsinger

yeah not even using powers hes ujust like You Have To Understand The Ice

cassetticon

aw....

ShriekingSisterhood

the best thing about this is bakugo is so competitive that he'd join every sports even if it sucked just to win

starsinger

I Understand The Ice. and just not understanding why everone doesnt think curling is the best

ShriekingSisterhood

so bakugo is essentially Forced to play frisbee

cassetticon

yeah. god

ShriekingSisterhood

im crying.... ice understanding hand crusher

starsinger

i think hed be legit way into ultimate frisbee but fuckign hate ice frisbee but

play it anyway

he and todoroki were like the only people on the curling team and bakugou was AWFUL at it and HATED todoroki for it

ShriekingSisterhood

wow thats some real shit there

cassetticon

im crying  this is so good

ShriekingSisterhood

actually i would add iida to the curling team

he also likes Understanding The Ice

starsinger

awwwwww

ShriekingSisterhood

and its a lot of speed and velocity and such considerations

which is actually relevant for his power

starsinger

mmmm true

ShriekingSisterhood

hey does iida just wear bigass pants to hide his engine legs

dataghost

was Iowa's bro also on the curling team....he joins cause he was Inspired and Wants To Live Up To Him

ShriekingSisterhood

like all the time, in v=civilian form

starsinger

sjffjdk.

maybe so.

ShriekingSisterhood

does he wear leg warmers in the summer

starsinger

AUGHGHDFH

dataghost

but then the curling team gets cut off before iida can win The Big  Trophy and :(

starsinger

i feel like long skirt is more practical for this

oh noo

ShriekingSisterhood

honestly yeah

i love bnha: shittiest sports anime ever au

cassetticon

same

ShriekingSisterhood

hey is present mic supposed to be secret identity in this au too

bc i honestly cant see that

cassetticon

definitely not

dataghost

I feel like he's one of those like, celebrity heroes

cassetticon

yea

ShriekingSisterhood

besides the overall distinctiveness

he just, could not shut up about it, on his public radio show so,

cassetticon

yeah exactly.

dataghost

EYAH

plus like. it only gets the show BETTER ratings so why hide it

ShriekingSisterhood

what if hes married to  Aizawa but Aizawa made him choose between being maried to civilian guy Aizawa or Eraserhead

starsinger

what if hes a celebrity hero with a radio show. and then has a civilian identity as an english teacher

ShriekingSisterhood

bc Aizawa's identity is mega secret

dataghost

god aizawa would hate all the attention either way

ShriekingSisterhood

omg

dataghost

I feel like he doesn't even want eraserhead to be a super well known hero

cassetticon

i mean thats just real in canon

ShriekingSisterhood

Aizawa, sick of the attention, tells Mic to fake his death at the hands of like a villain

"it will be good for ur show ratings"

cassetticon

he canonically does hate publicity and does not want to be known by anyone

ShriekingSisterhood

"no one bothers the dead"

dataghost

omfg

ShriekingSisterhood

or maybe the relationship is still secret but they can't ever go out anywhere bc Mic gets so easilly recognized

dataghost

Mic has so much fun pretending to be dramatically mourning his dead civilian husband

ShriekingSisterhood

"PRO HERO CELEB PRESENT MIC, SPOTTED BUYING DINNER FOR LOCAL HOMELESS MAN, AMAZING GENEROSITY"

dataghost

egjbvjjgb kon k

starsinger

FGHDJAFJ AUSFJG NOOO

ShriekingSisterhood

Re: mic mourning his dead civilian husband

hes like,

"OH IF ONLY HE HAD BEEN A SUPER TOO"

"IF ONLY HE HAD THE POWER TO, SAY, ERASE OTHER PEOPLES POWERS, HE NEVER WOULD HAVE COME TO THIS SAD FATE"

dataghost

Aizawa is just glaring Murder at him

ShriekingSisterhood

"ALSO HERES THE NEW TOP HIT FROM POP GROUP  "Q 5" ITS QUITE A BOP LISTENERS"

"ITS HELPING ME GET OVER MY DEPRESSION, FROM THE, EAD HUSBAND"

starsinger

god

ShriekingSisterhood

What if present mics so bad at acting that people think he murdered his fake dead husband

cassetticon

holy fuck

starsinger

now im like. ideeply want to see the many subplots that are jsut 'iida has to deal with the time conflict between mathletics and curling'

hfdjkf

ShriekingSisterhood

what if thru some hilarious misunderstanding all might applied to be the gym teacher but it turned out he was accidentally applying to be the masthletics coach

starsinger

its shenanigans because he tries to do both of them at the same time because hes like 'i have superspeed itll be fine' its Not Fine

IJADIJ;LDFSAJLKDFKJLFDJKL NOOOOOOOOO

ShriekingSisterhood

"I thought you meant you needed a Male Athletics Coach??? M Athletics"

dataghost

he doesnt know shit about math so his only coaching contribution is like Pep Talks

starsinger

yES

all might giving INSPIRING PEP TALKS

to the mathletes

ShriekingSisterhood

"GUYS, SOMETIMES THE SINE OF A NUMBER, IS THE FRIENDS YOU MADE ALONG THE WAY"

starsinger

which end up being coached by. iida

dataghost

beuatiufl...

iida ends up stepping up as like, Team Captain Who Actually Can THelp People Train  Math

starsinger

momo is in charge of the science olympiad

and also the science bowl

ShriekingSisterhood

"REACH  FOR THE LIMIT, WHICH THERE IS NONE, BUT I GUESS IN MATH SOMETIMES THERE IS, BUT OTHERWISE"

starsinger

the ONLY LIMIT... IS THE LOWER LIMIT!

dataghost

theres only 1 sport but there's Many different Nerd-Offs

starsinger

yea exactly

its really funny bc its the opposite of canon where everyone is jocks even if theyre nerds

ShriekingSisterhood

everyone is nerds even if theyre joks....

finally balance

starsinger

yea...

dataghost

kaminari tries to start some kind of Movie Club as an excuse to just slack off and watch movies during club time

but then the nerds invade it and it turns into a big Trivia Game thing and kaminari just puts his head in his hands

cassetticon

He Tried

starsinger

uhghfjfd

ShriekingSisterhood

the one jock-exclusive

starsinger

and kirishima  i think

ShriekingSisterhood

yeah,,,, god kirishima

cursed boy

dataghost

pats him

starsinger

i love him so much'

ShriekingSisterhood

i love him also....

dataghost

remember how bakugou joined all the sports teams just bc he could. kirishima joins all the sports teams independently bc its manly

and then bakugou assumes he's like, trying to compete with him

ShriekingSisterhood

ooooh my god

starsinger

sdfghj

ShriekingSisterhood

real

starsinger

kirishima tries to bond w bakugou abt not being good at curling and bakuogu is like hOw Dare You

ShriekingSisterhood

THIS IS THE WORST NEG OF MY LIFE

starsinger

'man how is todoroki sO good at this i dont get it'

'DIE'

dataghost

god rip kirishima

Too Cursed To Live

ShriekingSisterhood

the best thing is that when bakugo is like "ill destroy you, ill punch ur face" kirishima is just like "fyes uck me UP bro"

he 100% knows what hes getting into

starsinger

i really like the idea of bakugou bein g like ill fuck you AND todoroki up. about curling

when he cant like

skate yet

ShriekingSisterhood

hsfhdjh

hes still holding on to the bar at the edge of the rink

starsinger

ok i just looked it up and curling does not actually use skates

but

ShriekingSisterhood

talking about how hes going to be indispuitable number one curler

starsinger

eyah

dataghost

while lying on his face having fallen down

starsinger

hey guys. guys. guys does a villain attack the ice rink

and somehow it means they have to cooperate and learn a leson about teamwork

and skating pysics

but it doesnt SUPER work but it works a little bit

dataghost

god they have to ~work together~ but also not let any of the others see their powers

starsinger

fcfuki tho they dont know its them so like king explodokill is like 'maybe now i have a mmodicum of respect. for red riot. maybe. a tiny bit' but is still like KIRISHIMA MADE FUN OF ME ABOUT SKATING THO AND I HATE IT

ohhhhh thast good also fdjfdjkdfjk

maybe they have to work together to get to the locker room but wont say why (its bc their costumes r there)

but then the final fight is as hero guys?

dataghost

oo that makes sense that's good

none of them even like, stops to think about the Coincidence chdmxm

except Maybe todoroki

and even he only does like way after the fact

starsinger

yae

fuck i just rmembered izukus hero name and am having a fucking freakout

dataghost

god!!!!!

bakugou is fucking. haunted by it

does he know izuku's secret id when he picks it or does he find out later

starsinger

?

dataghost

like . when izuku picks the name "deku" does bakugou know yet or no

i guess this question makes less sense in this au

cause like how could he be a hero if he doesnt have a hero name yet

starsinger

i think maybe its

izuku introduces himself as the hero deku for the first time and thats when bakugou realizes that that new hero whos been running around........ is . izuku

and obvsly Flips the Fuck Out

dataghost

ghhhhhgggghh

starsinger

i think. u kno the flash onto bakugou and urarakas faces

i think id want to keep that

but with the added 'oh shit thats izuku'

context from the au

dataghost

goddddd

for uraraka too?

like is she Also just finding out

starsinger

mmmmmmaybe

maybe not actually

yeah idk depends how deep the hijinx run lol. how long izuku was determined to Not Tell Anyone About Hero Shit

dataghost

feel like it could be A Long While cause he'd feel like he'd have to be secretive For All Might

starsinger

yeahhh exactly...

altho if superheroes are a big thing but secret identities are a bigger thing it might be Less secretive

bc like. theres no inherent connection between 'a new superhero appears' and 'all might'

dataghost

but I feel like izuku would be nervous anyway

starsinger

yeah for sure

dataghost

and he's v strategic & thoughtful so I feel like he'd Understand The Importance Of Secret Identity and be like "no one ever!!!!"

starsinger

yeahh That rings true for me ithink

i was just like 'if 'quirkless izuku' and 'hero deku' arent inherently connected bc Every Civilian Secret Identity Is Quirkless then its not as big a deal

dataghost

yeah also fair

so are quirks way rarer in this au?

starsinger

but ur right that all might def has the No One Can Know Im Human thing

and izuku would also probably

i dont know if quirks are Rarer or if theyre just hilariously secret even tho literally most of the population has one

and many of them are very visible

dataghost

what if like. quirklessness is rare but everyone's civilian id is still quirkless

and everyone just. d oesnt notice

starsinger

tsuyu: yeah im quirkless. kero.

dataghost

also like. Basically everyone who's quirkless is actually a hero in disguise

but no one puts the dots together

starsinger

just had the thought 'i really like bnha superhero au' and fuckgin died