#but its so DEPRESSING
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thinking about this
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I hate being poor 🤣
#insane that i got paid almost double my salary this month and that a lot of it was surprise money that i wasnt expecting and hoped i could#use as i wished#and a week later im already on the red again 👍 and the only thing i got for myself was a hoodie#a very nice hoodie but it wasnt even an expensive one it was quite cheap#i keep paying my parents bills and its okay i get it im not mad at them we are in a terrible financial situation and i want to help#but bro 😭 i thought i would get some nice stuff for myself and maybe even have money left to go out#every month i keep thinking this is when things are finally gonna start getting better and in a way yeah things are better than at the start#of 2023#but its so depressing#anyways. rant over. im sure by the end of the year everything will have fallen into place 🧍♂️#personal
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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When a cunty witch beats you to death then steals your boy toy for eternal torment 😢 (based on that 'don't you miss her???' meme)
#the og Pathetic Little Meow Meow#catwin#the cat king#thomas the cat king#edwin payne#edwin paine#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives spoilers#dbda#dbda spoilers#crystal palace#niko sasaki#my art#i feel like we dont talk about the Cat King's depression outfit enough#its so horrible i love it so much those ugly fucking sunglasses#whats even the point his kept boy is off leash and being tortured by a woman in fishnets#catwin fanart
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enough strong bads... time for strong sads (theres still a strong bad here)
[image description: a page of drawings of a human design of strong sad from homestar runner, where she is depicted as a fat, tan-skinned trans woman with gray and brown hair pulled into a bun and multiple piercings. she is wearing a gray sweatshirt, jeans, and steel-toed combat boots, and next to her is a note stating that she is trans and bisexual and that her pronouns are she/they. next to that is a drawing of her smiling and wearing a sloshy t-shirt, and above that is a comic of strong bad poking her in the stomach and saying "even her gender is my hand-me-downs", to which she stays silently angry at him. end id]
#i really like how she came out actually. like Yeah she does look like a depressed 18-24 year old film major#i gave her steel-toed boots to sorta replicate her soolnds. sorta#and under her sweatshirt she does still have a scar from Lil Strong Bad Shenanigans#i wanted the bun to kinda be their weird lil head dollop#i imagine its a pretty loose bun so it flops around#im putting way too much thought into this. i just like strong sad :o]#doc talks#my art#homestar runner#hsr#h*r#strong sad#strong bad
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thank u canon plant nerd megumi for my life
bonus:
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiguro megumi#yuji itadori#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#itadori yuuji#megumi#yuuji#middle one FOUGHT oh my god#angle/arm position/watering can/expression NONE of it wld go right#took 2 hours to get the lines only to realize upon laying down flats that it was still Completely off#so i took a break to bake an entire cake came back n finally it started cooperating#tbh idk if im still shaking off ytd's weird funk or what but this took ages longer than it should have#but its ok bc florist/botanist/general plant nerd megu is free serotonin 2 me#i could not decide on one apron 2 give him#but then i remembered he is th type 2 take his hobby Very seriously of course he would own multiple#looks at the hydrangeas listen . listen I Know i ws bemoaning having 2 draw so many cursing their name etc etc#but u dont understand he had to be holding one he just had to. he told me so. he held a gun 2 my head and said U Know What To Do#and i said ok ok ok ok#there r only 2 i survived#and i wld do anything fr him as we well know . cuffs his jeans puts leaves in his hair <3#jjk may have given me trust issues depression anxiety etc but it Also gave me flowerboy megu and i think that balances it out :)#edit added the bonus here bc reblogs dont show up in the main tags enjoy itfs gross flirting mwah <3
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everything will be fine
#ace attorney#satsuhart#dual destinies#spirit of justice#trucy wright#apollo justice#nahyuta sahdmadhi#rayfa padma khura'in#me: man today sucked (draws something depressing)#for someone who likes trucy a lot i haven't drawn a lot of her yet... i've been so khura'inpilled#anyway i guess ill end up doing ask game stuff later its so late... i need to get up early... fml
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the morally questionable relationship between John Price and the darling little starlet he picks up off of the street during the golden age of Hollywood would be such a treat.
because producer!John Price is known as the best of the best in Hollywood. He has an eye for talent, they say, and a keen ability for spotting the diamonds amongst the rubble.
And of all the stars in the world, he sets his sights on you. Pretty little thing. Bright and blinding—Betelgeuse glimmering on the precipice of a supernova. All you need is a little push. A backer. A chance. And he gives it to you. Ushers you into stardom with a crooked grin around the butt of a cigar and a wicked gleam in his eyes that you—in all your artless, sheltered naivete—chalk up to pride.
The problem with sweet little darlings like you is that they all sing the same song. Yearn for the same thing. And it's so easy to mistake his interest as fatherly when the name on your birth certificate reads John Doe. And when he tells you his name is John Price, well—
It's fate, isn't it?
He told you he's been married once but had no children, and the longing in his eyes must be for the family he's never got a chance to have. So, you promise to give it to him.
Problem is: the devil lives in Hollywood and drinks his whiskey neat. You told him you'd be his family, giving him the one that left him behind. Signed your soul to blue eyes for the big screen.
Not that you'd know this, of course. To you, John is a sad widower with a heart of gold. Your overprotective bear who snarls at the directors and actors who get a little too handsy with you on set. His darling little star.
It's easy to wave everyone off when they express concern about these blurring lines between employee and employer. Boss and—
Father figure.
They just don't know him like you do.
And how funny, you tell him one evening with a wry twist to your lips, eyes swimming with sheltered mischief. They thought we were lovers, Mr Price. Isn't that just the damnedest thing?
This little quip has the opposite effect, and if only you looked a little bit closer at the gleam in his eye, the clench in his jaw, you might have seen the storm gathering on the horizon before it hit. Instead of laughing with you at the director's gall, this hilarious joke, John feels you slipping through his fingers just a little bit more. And that simply won't do.
You want a father figure? Then fine. That's what he'll be. Convenient, of course, because he's been thinking about fatherhood a lot lately, too. It's only natural that he decides to cash in on that promise you made all those years ago to make him a proud dad.
#waking up from the dredges of a steep depressive episode to bring you this soggy limp fish of an idea#captain john price x reader#john price x reader#this idea might be nothing rn but im gonna nurture it so hard the moment my brain figures out its faulty wiring#and bring you the nastiest noncon father figure breeding fic youve ever read
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i'm ready to try
#This drawing is kind of personal to me#I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing#but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point#When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life#This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with#eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself#which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now#I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me#I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif#I think i'll be okay either way#either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like#i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off#so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude#AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp#empires smp s1#empiresblr#esmp#geminitay#art#fanart#alice.art#mcyt#mcytblr#song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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"Wow...I know how much you hate musicals."
#symbrock#venom the last dance#venom 3 spoilers#Venom being genuinely surprised by Eddie agreeing to do something he hates#“we have no secrets”#bruh#i bet that symbiote felt the depression vibrating off Eddie so bad its cells started splintering apart#but I also felt like this was the symbiote trying to cheer Eddie up by being silly like it did in LTBC with the breakfast#Eddie's just such an espresso-depresso because his whole life went to shit and he's craving the love he thought he lost#dumbass doesn't realize he's had it all along#the unfiltered love this symbiote has for its host is actually so pure#goodnight i'm going insane over these two
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Fanart of my most recent comfort fic diphylleia grayi by stacytrouille on ao3 🥺🥺🥺
This chapter (chapter 21) is one of my favorites so far because gojo is so utterly adorable, I love his baby gay tendencies on their totally-not-a-date hangout session before the plot™️ happens.
10,000,000/10 everyone should read it, it's so very good trust me🙏
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#stsg#satosugu#gego#satoru gojo#suguru geto#my art uwu#most of these doodles are just them standing around looking stupid im sorry 😭#they deserve more#im gonna be rereading it here soon maybe i can draw more#chapter 21 was so cute and good it cured my depression and made me draw again wow#theres a secret version of the little pic with better lighting but its them outside and thats not where its taken 💔
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Until the mountains crumble to the sea
Extra Doodle Below the Cut and Script:
Script:
Page 1:
Fiddleford: O' c'mon stop fussin' you big ol' lug! It ain't that big of a deal...
'Sides, you kept complaining 'bout how your shoulder was actin' up all day!!
Stan: Well yeah! But I always lead...
Fiddleford: There! Isn't this much better?
Stan: Hmm.
Page 2
Fiddleford: Stan.
Stan: Yeah?
Fiddleford: Who sings this song again?
Stan: Uhm...Oh! Uh Cass Elliot! Yeah, Cass Elliot...
Fiddleford: Ah. Well...she sounds lovely...
This is a nice night.
Stan: Yeah.
Page 3
(There is no written dialogue for this page. The only written portions are the lyrics, which eventually fade out.)
Extra Doodle
Fiddleford: Stan, are you crying?!
Stan: Yes! Er- I mean no! I mean maybe? I'm sorry! The song got to me! Curse you Cass Elliot! You and your delightful singing!
#gave fidds clothes based on ones i have irl (its a green button up with tree imagery embroidered on the collar/pocket :)))#love drawing small moments of intimacy it's my favorite thing EVER!!#drawing the mundane is my way of giving my highest honors to certain characters#okay im writing this after drafting my script and I did not need to make it this depressing omg. my bad everyone :'0#Rest assured the halloween illustration will make up for it ITS SO WHIMSICAL :^D#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddlestan#gravity falls#thriftybruce's makings#bruce's recs
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crusty evolution redraw. in theory.
#xmen#xmen evolution#erik lehnsherr#magneto#quicksilver#pietro maximoff#snap sketches#i stopped liking this past the lineart stage but i told myself id try to finish whatever i start to at least try and learn somethin#did i learn anything ? thats for me to reflect on. for now tho ramble time 😌#its painful to draw erik with short hair but sometimes you gotta get outta the usual !! <- never doing this again#ive been ahead of my schedule with stuff i have to draw so ive simply decided todaay will be My Day for personal doodles#idk why ive decided my first evo fanart should be the one where erik and pietro leave behind wanda but ok !!!!! freak#i have a long hair ver but i didnt color it. i was just greedy .. not greedy enough tho evidently#anyways i have like. idk what four episodes of evolution left ?? depressing this show's great ...#i didnt nkow theyd have a david ep ... a pleasant surprise but now im emo ...#OH WELL lets see what else i doodle tonight#this week's going to be annoying but i think i say that every week LMAO and look at that i get through them anyway#we'll be fine and chill team .. ok bye bye
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#beetlejuice#lydia deetz#song is ghosting by mother mother#i've been wanting to make a crushingly sad animatic with this song about lydia outgrowing beetlejuice and leaving him behind for years#maybe someday....#also editing this was funny because the original scene has its cartoony little incidental music as usual#and beetlejuice crying WAUUUGHHH in the bg after he leaves#so i had to remove all that LMAO#let's remove the cartoony tone and make it.....depressing!!!#anyway thank you if you read my tags sorry for rambling#beetleposting
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some new sad girl guy spring dialogue for sebby!
also bonus bc its summer 13 now and i already gave him a bouquet
#I was at 5 hearts on spring day 23 year 1#as it turns out if you're lucky you can get a ton of flounder really early now to give him a lot of liked gifts#i'm like 99% sure these are new#i dont recall seeing them before with OR without mods#I'm playing without mods rn tho#stardew valley#sebastian stardew valley#sdv spoilers#1.6 spoilers#1.6 update#stardew valley 1.6#sdv 1.6#like every time i've asked seb out before its been 'i cant believe you feel the same way' so like#i'm FAIRLY positive this is new#or i've just never been lucky enough to get alternative dialogue#MY GUYYYYY#depression cw#1k
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