#but its pushing me to draw so i'm not gonna complain

[kurikive]

sticky | kim minji

things between you and minji are... sticky this summer.

— childhood friends to lovers, summer trip, soccer player!reader, slowish burn, lowkey bromance, futchish READER 💜

contains : cursing, kinda slight makeoutism, a lot of bro and dude, just a little bit of angst but i promise its literally nothing, NOT proofread at all i am tireeeddd

wc: 13.7k words

inspired by : Sticky — KISS OF LIFE

You're not really sure how you got here.

You’re watching the sunset at the beach with Kim Minji, your hand in between hers and the sand below you, your face two inches from her own, your lips two seconds away from colliding.

Actually, let's rewind.

It’s summer! It's been 3 long years of being away in Seoul. A soccer scholarship was always great, and you were having a fantastic time with your teammates and classmates, but you were completely burnt out after these exhausting last 6 months.

Korea University Anam Tigers proudly win 3rd place in the U-League for the first half of the season. 5 wins, 2 draws, 3 losses. Not too bad. You did better last year, but you're sure you'll recover and bounce back during the second half. Or maybe it was the alcohol and smell of grilled beef that was making you emotional.

After you finalize your amazing speech with a broken voice and a tear threatening to leave your eye, you realize you're actually quite drunk. The applause of your teammates startles you, and they may be mocking your sentimental state with their laughs and ‘aww’s and teasing pushes, but they cheer you on anyway.

“Han Y/N!” One of your teammates, Hsu Nientsu, also pretty tipsy, nudges your left arm as you sit back down, “Don't get so sensitive with us now!”

“Our Y/Nie gets emotional when drunk, huh?” Central striker Ahn Yujin, leader of the team, pinches one of your red cheeks from across the table, action to which you groan at.

“I just…” You sigh, drowsy and teary eyes block your vision yet you can still tell all your teammates are looking at you. “I really love our team and want us to do our best…” You make a mental note to never get drunk with your team again when they coo at you for a second time.

“Well then,” Oh Haewon starts pouring you another shot (she usually would make you pour it yourself, but your flimsy arms and hung head bring out the instinct to take care of you instead), “Let's climb up the leaderboard for Leftie!” She declares as she leaves the small glass of soju on your side of the table.

You hate the nickname. Nientsu came up with it the first year of your scholarship because when you were supposed to be in central midfield you spent most of your time on the left side of the field, for some reason. Her broken Korean and teasing nature muttered the name in an attempt to mock you and everyone started repeating after. You can't complain much about it. It stuck too well.

You take the shot and grimace at the bitter taste of alcohol. You're still not used to it even after countless team dinners.

Won Haneul, your roommate, best friend and goalkeeper, laughs at your expression. The other girls have already picked up their own conversation, yet she seems very entertained at your drunken state, “Unnie, are you sure you don't want to go?” You've told her multiple times to drop the formalities, it's a one year difference; she keeps refusing.

You look to your right and you (hardly) see her looking at you worried, but still smiling. It takes a couple seconds for you to process her words. “I… I think I should go.” You slur, you're sure you'll die if you take another shot.

Haneul nods, understanding as always. “Guys, I think me and Y/N unnie are gonna head back now!” You hear your teammates complain and whine but you can't make out anything they're saying.

“I'm too drunk!” You try your best to scold them, “And I have my last class tomorrow…”

A soccer scholarship didn't mean you were just in Seoul to play soccer and get drunk with your friends. You also had to study and attend classes, like everyone else. Maybe you would've had it easier if you had chosen Physical Education as your major. But no, you had chosen Media and Communication for some reason.

At least it was the last class before break.

“Go then! Quick! Get away!” You hear Jung Sunhye drunkenly shoo you two away. It makes you giggle. You wave goodbye to your teammates with your frail arms, it makes you look like a car rental inflatable. You hear a chorus of ‘sleep well’s and ‘Bye Y/N’s.

Haneul holds you as you walk out of the BBQ place, and then a cold wave of air hits you right when you realize you have to go up the hill to get to your dorm. You don't know if the chill you get in your spine is from the cool late night air or the dread of borderline hiking while drunk.

“Haneul, I'm sorry.” You don't even want to look at her in fear of getting dizzy. You're only a few steps up the hill but you're already breathing a little heavy. However, your apologetic expression is enough for her to understand your feelings.

“It's okay, unnie!” She's such a joy to have around not only as a teammate but as a friend. You hope her kindness never leads her to getting taken advantage of. You and the other girls would ruin the life of whoever could even dare.

“I'm really grateful for you, y’know?” You probably shouldn't talk while you're rapidly growing out of breath, but you're already sentimental.

“I'm flattered.” She says with a light laugh while pushing you from behind, making it easier for you to walk upwards.

“Are you going back to Suwon this summer?” You ask after a while of more heavy steps. Haneul had also gotten a scholarship and moved from Suwon to Seoul, therefore getting to be roommates with you.

“Mhm! Gonna go see my parents.” Her voice turns a little softer and you notice even when you're mostly out of your conscious mind. “What about you, unnie? Are you gonna stay here?”

It's been three years since you left your hometown and replaced the ocean with the river. Three years since you left your friends behind. Three years since leaving your mom and dad.

Of course you missed them. How could you not? It's not like you were avoiding them, the last summers were just filled to the brim with practice and studying and everything got tangled and you didn't even leave time for yourself.

That's over, though. You can already see yourself on the shore.

And then you're at the bus terminal. Hands shaky and heavy steps, just like the ones you took walking up the hill of your dorm building. You carry your backpack at your front and hold your gym bag on your left hand. You wait in line to step inside your bus and you think you're ready to fall asleep for the whole ride.

But once you're settled in your seat, your thoughts leave you restless.

There's a fear in the back of your mind that your friends will treat you differently when you arrive.

You've been gone for 3 years, and you talk slightly less now. But the group chat is still active, and you talk with them when you're allowed the time to. It's not like you've gone completely radio silent and disappeared from their lives.

It's just scary to be back.

But the scariest thing by far is the fear of being proven wrong. The fear of still liking her.

See, ever since you were a kid running around with a ball between your feet, you've had a crush on Kim Minji.

Neighborhood pretty girl. Class president in elementary, middle and high school. Best grades in your year. The most crushable girl ever.

You remember the first day you met her. You actually think about it a lot.

You were 7, playing soccer with your friend Gyuvin on the beach at sunset hours. There was no real goal to kick the ball towards, you were just trying to steal the ball from each other and keep it as long as possible. But then Gyuvin gets a little too close to taking the ball, and in panic you pass it to your right. 

But there's no one to your right. And you realize you've just kicked it towards three girls about your same age building a sandcastle.

You see the ball roll away further and further away from you and Gyuvin, and closer and closer to the castle, and the girls don't seem to notice.

You don't know why you're frozen. You could've stopped the ball by now if you had run after it. Gyuvin notices your lack of movement and becomes the one who shouts instead, “BALL!”

It seems to wake both the girls and you up from your daze, and suddenly you're running as fast as you can to catch the ball before it collides with the sand clump. And you manage to catch it.

You had thrown yourself into the sand, and the ball gets stopped by your arms. But your head crashes into the sandcastle instead. It doesn't collapse completely, and it didn't hurt that much, but it suddenly knocked you out for a few seconds.

You hear Gyuvin’s voice behind you when your mind is back in its place. “We're really sorry! We'll help you patch it back up!” You shake of the sand from your head when you sit back up, and you can finally take a good look at the three girls.

They looked pissed.

The smallest of the girls speaks, “I guess you can help. You're lucky it didn't fall on your head.” She points at you and you feel guilt engulf your cheeks with its warmth.

“Great!” Your friend helps you shake off some of the remaining sand off of your head, “Let's get to work, Y/N!”

You're confused at his enthusiasm, you were just playing soccer with him a few seconds ago and now he wants to build a sandcastle with some girls you just met? “But… we were-”

Gyuvin cuts you off, “It's the least we can do. We almost destroyed it.” It makes sense, but you're still a little reluctant. You grab a shovel anyways.

Your friend is already introducing himself when you start digging a hole into the sand, “I'm Kim Gyuvin! What are your names?”

The short girl with short hair that spoke to you before is the first one to answer, “I'm Hanni Pham! I'm from Australia but we moved here a year ago.”

“Your parents like fish, huh?” The boy's joke makes Hanni's mouth open wide and her eyes dilate a good amount.

“How did you know?!”

“I'm Seol Yoona.” Says a girl with a voice so quiet you have to ask Gyuvin what her name was right after she said it, “What did she say?”

“Seol Yoona.” He repeats, and you get back to digging with a nod, not before you give an apologetic smile to the girl.

The last girl introduces herself, “I'm Kim Minji.” You notice three things about her. Her voice is deeper than the other two girls, her eyebrows are really pretty, and she's wearing a blue clip on her hair.

All three of the girls are pretty, but if Gyuvin asks you later who you thought was the prettiest you are sure you'll say Minji.

Said girl notices you've been doing nothing but dig since you started introducing yourselves. “What's the hole for?” She says.

“I'm gonna put water in it to make wet sand. It's going to make it easier to build and harder to collapse.” And right after you say that you stand up, bucket in hand, ready to go and fetch water from the shining ocean behind you.

But just as you're about to go, the girl with the pretty eyebrows calls out again, “What's your name? You never told us.” Right.

“Han Y/N.” You tell her with a smile.

“Han Y/N.” She repeats your name back to you, like you're not supposed to know it already. It sounds pretty coming from her. 

The sunset glow crashes in the sea and bounces back into the eyes of the girl. You see them glisten as she looks into yours. Your heart starts beating as fast as it was when you were running around earlier.

“Don’t ever play soccer near my sandcastles.”

You look like an idiot, laughing by yourself in your seat. It's already night when you feel the bus stop in its tracks. You realize it's slightly warmer than when you departed, even at these hours of the night.

You're here. And you're not laughing anymore.

Everything you dread is getting closer by the second, and you don't want to face it.

It's been three years since the last time you saw your friends, since you saw Minji. Three years of only speaking to her in the group chat. Three years of believing you've gotten over her when in reality you were just getting distracted.

Because if you had truly moved on you wouldn't be worrying about moving on.

You step out of your bus and smell the scent of the ocean. Your worries fade away for the rest of the night. You'll worry about that tomorrow.

You're home.

It’s around 10:30 P.M. Knowing your parents they wouldn’t be asleep right now. They’re probably watching replays of soccer matches or some strange animal documentary. Even after three years you can tread lightly towards your home. Not much has changed.

The street lights are dim, and the wooden floor boards of the port are not much louder than the last time they squeaked beneath your feet. You take a picture of the moon watching over the dancing waves, then keep walking.

You wish you don’t run into any of your friends on the way to your house. It’s not like you don’t want to see them, but it’s late, and you couldn’t catch even a wink of sleep the whole ride. You just want to see your parents and sleep in between the warmth of their bodies like you did when you were just a kid. You chuckle at the memory.

You step into your neighborhood. Most of the lights are turned off, but you can hear a couple of things as you walk deeper into the block. Crickets, waves, and a couple different TV stations. 

You get closer to the neighboring house from yours. Gyuvin’s house. The lights in the first floor are off, but there’s a dim light coming from the window of the bedroom facing the street. It (probably still) belonged to Gyuvin himself. You don’t really know what he’s doing at this hour of the night, but you won’t bother him right now, even when you get the urge to text him something like ‘look out ur window’.

You hear the voice of a commentator from outside the door of your house. They were watching replays. Knew it. You think about what to do next. It’ll be too loud if you ring the doorbell, Gyuvin might notice you’re here and come around to investigate, And then you get a sudden, bright idea.

You set your gym bag on the ground and start typing your mom’s number to call her, clicking on her contact when it shows up. You take a big breath and wait for her to answer, it doesn’t take her long.

“Hello, baby! What’s going on?” There’s a twinge of worry in her voice but she always answers so happily when you call her. You chuckle deviously, mischief is about to begin.

“Hi mama! I sent you guys a surprise, I’m calling to make sure if the package arrived safely. Sorry about the time, by the way.” You try to mask the smile appearing on your lips as you talk.

“A package?” She seems confused, “I.. We didn’t get anything.” She sounds a little more concerned.

“Really? Can you check the door? Maybe it came late.”

“I don’t think it’d come this late, darling.”

“Just check, ma. Please.” You hang up. You feel a little sorry for leaving your mother bothered and confused, but you try to telepathically tell her it’ll be worth it.

Your heartbeat starts picking up its pace when you hear the door unlock. You put your phone in your pocket and pick your bag up again.

 When the door opens, the first thing you notice is your mom’s disheveled hair, probably from laying on the couch and watching TV. The second thing you notice is that her eyes immediately fall on the doorstep, and she frowns when she finds nothing. The third thing you notice is that, even before she realizes you’re there, she’s already taking out her phone to call you again, but she sees a pair of shoes in front of her before she gets around to doing that.

Her eyes travel from your old sneakers to the top of your head, and then they fall back at your face. Her jaw drops and her eyes look like they hold the moonlight in them when she realizes it’s actually you.

“Y/Nie…” She’s a little breathless when she says your name, and you laugh at the sound of rustling behind her. Your dad probably heard her.

“Hello!” You simply greet. Your father appears shortly behind your mother and you send a wave at him when you see he’s making the exact same expression as her. “Am I going to be outside all night? That’s how you greet your daughter?”

Your mother throws herself at you with a hearty laugh, it makes you happy too. “When did you get here?!” She asks, a little too loud for your liking, but you won’t complain. You pull away to greet your dad, who was frozen on the doorframe.

“Just now, actually.” Your father is in shock, but he does his best to hug you back, and the hug gets tighter when he finally understands it’s really his daughter. You giggle a little at his lack of words, then tap his back a little rougher when you start struggling to breathe, “Hey! Not so tight!”

He lets go and you hear him laugh more calmly now. “Let’s go in. Gyuvin doesn’t know I’m here yet and I want to surprise him tomorrow.” Your mom closes the door behind you, and then hits you on the back, quite roughly for your taste.

“How dare you not tell us you were coming?!” She rubs the same spot where she hit you when she hears you hiss at the pain, “It was a surprise!” You argue.

“Did you have dinner?” Your dad asks already in the kitchen, and your stomach growls even before you can respond. You giggle shyly at the noise, “I’ll take that as a no.” He says, “Go sit with your mom and watch TV with her. I’ll heat up something.”

“Oh, we’re not watching anything. You’re gonna tell me everything you’ve been doing.” Your mother taps the seat beside her on the couch, which you gladly take. “How was the season?”

You’re so happy to be back.

You wake up with the sunrise.

You fully expected to open your eyes and be hugging your mom while your dad was already up in the kitchen. And that did happen, except you wake up with your back sore from falling asleep on the couch. Your dad is in the kitchen, making breakfast for you three.

You rub your eyes and yawn. It wasn’t that late, you woke up pretty early actually. 8:27 A.M. Maybe it’s because your body is used to waking up early. Your dad looks back at you and laughs at your messy hair, smiles brighter when he sees one of your mom’s arms sticking out of the couch. “Rise and shine!” He says brightly.

“Morning…” The sound of your croaky voice seems to wake up your mom, as she’s already rubbing her face.

“Smells good.” She says in the same tone as you. “Is it almost done?”

“I just finished. Come take a seat.” Your dad turns off the gas from the stove. The scent of kimchi jjigae fills your home, and it makes you feel a lot more energized even before having a taste of it.

You run your hand through your hair to try and make it more presentable. Your mother goes up to your dad to ask for a taste, he waits for her approval. You start setting the cutlery and it makes you think of the mornings before school, but rather than getting sentimental, you enjoy the moment with a smile.

“Y/Nie, do you want apple juice?” Your mom asks with the fridge open, you just nod as you sit down.

When the three of you sit down to finally eat, you start to realize how much you actually missed this. You spent your mornings in Seoul either eating a quick and not-really-filling meal, or eating an energy bar and a vending machine kimbap with your teammates before practice. You don’t remember the last time you had a hearty breakfast.

The sound of laughter and birds chirping combined with the smell of a home cooked meal and the warmth of a seaside morning couldn’t compare to any of the emotions that crossed your heart whenever you won a match. 

Your mom and dad gossip to you about your neighbors and everything you missed while you were away.

You don’t find it hard to believe when they tell you that the weird old man that used to drink his nights away at the port got arrested. One of your neighbors' sons dropped out of college to be a model, Kim Sunoo apparently. Good for him, you always thought he had a pretty face.

Supposedly, Minji keeps her title as the number 1 student even in college. You’re not surprised, but you do feel full all of a sudden. There’s just a little bit of stew left when you groan, “Ah… I’m full…”

Your mom raises an eyebrow, “Already?” She looks at your bowl and laughs, “Nevermind, you finished pretty fast.”

“Do you eat well in Seoul?” Your dad asks. You feel a little flustered at the question and stutter when you answer, “I mean… not in the morning, but I eat pretty healthily the rest of the day. Me and Haneul prepare meals when we have afternoon practice. I’d say we’re pretty good cooks.”

Your parents laugh, “I guess we’ll put you to the test one day.” Your mom nudges you, “And it’s ‘Haneul and I’, by the way.”

The correction makes your eyes roll as you stand up to wash your dishes, “Yeah, yeah, grammar queen. I’m gonna go take a shower and go to Gyuvin’s to surprise him, ‘kay?”

“Aye aye, captain!” Either your parents planned to do the same move and say the same thing at the same time beforehand, or they’re literal soulmates.

You get out of the shower and choose a simple outfit- some baggy, ripped jeans and a graphic tee that you found in your closet (you asked your mom if it was clean enough for you to wear, considering the closet looked a little dusty; she said it was fine). The shirt felt a little tight around the arms and it was quite smaller than you expected, but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. If anything it made the outfit more interesting.

So you stand outside your friend's house, with nothing in your hands but a smile on your face. You’re not really sure if it’ll be him or his mom answering the door, but you hope either of them will be happy to see you.

You ring the doorbell, and immediately hear footsteps get closer from inside. You don’t know if your heart is going to race everytime this happens, but you just hope you get used to the feeling. The door opens and you're met with a familiar face, Ms. Kim, Gyuvin’s mom, dressed up and ready to go to work. It’s summer, though?

“Y/Nie?” She looks delighted to see you, and yet quite surprised. “You came back!”

You give her a bright smile after you bow in respect, “Good morning, Ms. Kim! How have you been?” 

She steps back in a manner to invite you inside, “Oh, I’ve been well, dear. Gyuvin told me you weren’t able to visit these past years. We all missed you very much.” Her words surprise you, and you feel a little guilt squeezing your heart for two seconds.

“I’m glad to hear that, Ms.” She walks around the kitchen, packing what seems to be a lunchbox into her bag, yet still giving you her full attention. “Are you heading to work?” You ask curiously.

“Oh, yeah.” She looks a little agitated, “They don’t give me breaks, baby. I work for the news now!”

“Oh! How has that been going?”

She stops in her tracks, “Honestly, quite great.” She says, and you both laugh together. “Does Gyuvin know you’re here? I imagine he’s who you came to see.”

“He doesn’t.” The woman looks quite surprised. “I wanted to surprise him. I arrived just yesterday.”

“Oh honey, you’re gonna give him a heart attack.” She laughs and you chuckle, “I hope not!” You say,

“He’s in his room. He’s probably still asleep, but he’ll wake up if you knock hard enough. Make sure he doesn’t think you’re me, then he won’t get up.” The woman unlocks the door, coat hanging from her arm and bag over her shoulder, when she sees you nod. “I heard you won third place this half, right?”

“That’s right, ma’am.” You proudly say.

“Go Tigers!” Is the last thing she says before she walks out of the door. What a charming woman. You smile at yourself before walking up the stairs to your friend’s room.

Knock knock. No answer.

Knock knock knock. A groan.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. A louder groan.

“Kim Gyuvin, I will bust your door down.” You yell, “You think my legs haven’t gotten stronger?”

Fast stomps and the sound of a clutter of objects falling on the ground startle you slightly. The door opens so roughly you wonder if Gyuvin himself has also gotten stronger.

“Y/N?!”

“What fell on the ground?” You chuckle. He hugs you, possibly tighter than your dad. You didn’t quite expect it, but you welcome it anyway.

He pulls away like he’s checking if you’re not a hologram. You laugh the hardest when he pokes your cheek. He looks relieved, then mad. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! When did you get here?!”

“I got here yesterday. You were still awake, I think. But I wanted to greet you properly, and I was really tired last night.” You explain with a little bit of remorse.

“Dude!” He hugs you once again, “Bro, I can’t believe you're back!” You hug him just as tightly. “I’m really happy I’m here.”

He pushes you lightly with a smirk, “Don’t get sappy on me.” He teases, “Congrats on third place, tiger.” You cringe at the nickname and push him back.

“Eww!” You both laugh, and you notice the bundle of things he has on the floor of his room, “You dropped all that?”

Gyuvin looks back, and pushes you out of his room, closing the door in shame. Unbelievable.

You hear him pick up the things and put them back in place, until he finally opens the door again. You’re right where he left you. “Get dressed. Your mom made you breakfast.”

“Wait, help me pick an outfit!” You’ve been here for less than a day and he’s already being annoying. Like always.

“Bro, I’m wearing a shirt that’s too small for me, I am not the one to ask for fashion help.”

“That’s your fault for getting swole!” You hear him yell while you go down the stairs. Maybe nothing's really changed.

You’re back at the kitchen. You look at the lonely plate at the table, it doesn’t look very appetizing. It’s not like it’s a bad meal, it’s an omelet and toast, but when you touch it it’s abnormally cold. Fuck you Gyuvin. He was probably supposed to wake up a while ago.

You take the plate and place it in the microwave, one minute should be fine. You open the fridge and snoop around to see if they still- yup, they still have a box of the triangle juice boxes you and Gyuvin always shared at school. Apple was your favorite. You’re sure he or his mom won’t mind you taking one while you wait for the food to heat up.

You take the little plastic straw attached to the juice box and stab it into the designated hole. Just as you close the fridge, you hear the shutter sound effect from a phone. You turn around and see Gyuvin already dressed up and smiling at his phone.

“Did you take a picture of me?” You ask. The microwave beeps, “That’s your food.”

“Check the group chat.” He says as he walks past you to the microwave. You take out your phone and rest your elbows on the counter when you open up the group chat. Gyuvin named it “Beach boys”, even when he himself was the only male.

You’re immediately met with a picture of you from your side, stabbing a hole into your apple juice box. You looked at yourself in the mirror this morning, but you only realize how tight the sleeves of your shirt look when you stare at the photo. “Damn…” You mutter

“Ow! Ow! Hot!” Gyuvin yelps as he walks beside you, plate in his hands. He sits down at the table while you scroll back up to check the other messages.

gyuv | 9:44 A.M.

guys Y/N got so swole its actually insane

sully | 9:44 A.M.

Well yeah shes an athlete what were u expecting

henny | 9:44 A.M.

did she post something on ig?

where is this coming from

minj | 9:44 A.M.

Good morning first of all

gyuv | 9:45 A.M.

yeah but ud expect her legs to get bigger or her thighs idk

tell me why this absolute gremlin has bigger biceps than me

i feel threatened

this feels like a bro code violation

henny | 9:45 A.M.

this feels more like you just being insecure

i checked her ig and theres nothing?

sully | 9:45 A.M.

Vin are you hallucinating be honest

minj | 9:45 A.M.

Why gremlin

If anything the gremlin is hanni

henny | 9:45 A.M.

literally so out of pocket

what compelled you to say that

gyuv | 9:46 A.M. 

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henny | 9:46 A.M.

Gyuvin is that ur fuckign house

is that han Y/N in your fucking house.

minj | 9:46 A.M.

What the hell

You | 9:46 A.M.

hi guys!

henny | 9:47 A.M.

Han Y/N are you in gyuvins fucking house

You | 9:47 A.M.

possibly

gyuv | 9:47 A.M.

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guys im shaking theres a uleague third place winner in my kitchen

im so honored

sully | 9:47 A.M.

Omg she did get swole

Hiii Y/N

gyuv | 9:47 A.M.

RIGHT

IM SAYING LIKE

U DONT EVEM USE UR ARMS IN SOCCER

henny | 9:47 A.M.

Y/N when the FUCK did u get here

im gonna start vrying omg

You | 9:48 A.M.

i got here yesterday at night

i wanted to surprise u guys but ig gyuvin got too excited

pham hanni DO NOT CRY

hi sullyyy !!

henny | 9:48 A.M.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

You | 9:48 A.M.

stop cursing so much omg

minj | 9:48 A.M.

This is actually crazy

How could you say nothing to us

I feel lowkey betrayed Han Y/N

You | 9:48 A.M.

IM SORRY???

so surprises are the worst thing in the world now huh

gyuvs mom was so much happier to see me than you guys fr

going back to seoul

it seems im not welcome

henny | 9:48 A.M.

Y/N actually stop playing rn

where do we meet

You | 9:49 A.M

me and gyuv will pick u guys up

were going to the soccer field

but i got money from the scholarship so we can buy stuff on the way

gyuv | 9:49 A.M.

guys just to be clear i had literally no idea she was here

she showed up at my house 20 mins ago

sully | 9:49 A.M.

Omg we can go to that antique shop thats close to our high school

henny | 9:50

literally how r u so calm abt this

minj | 9:50 A.M.

Maybe ur just abnormal

You cackle loudly at Minji's last text.

When you arrive at Yoona's house, she's already waiting for you two on her porch. She looks a little taller than when you last saw her. Her eyes light up when she sees you arrive.

“Y/N!” She runs up to you and hugs you so tightly your breath falls a little short. What's with everyone and suffocating you lately? “I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, Sully!” You smile at her when you pull back, and the first thing she does is poke your arm. Her jaw drops in awe at the toughness of the muscle and it makes you laugh.

Gyuvin comes up behind you both with his arms open and a silly smirk, “Where my hug at?” It's quite awful. Yoona gags and sends him a distasteful look, which quickly shuts him down

You missed this. And it’s like this - full of banter and laughs - the whole way to Hanni’s house, the three of you take turns at making fun of each other, with the brief recurring tease at your job as an athlete.

Your friends like to brag about you being a college athlete, and a good one at that, but they certainly enjoyed sitting you up on a pedestal as a joke. They talked about you like you were the main star of the national team when in reality most people had little to no idea who you were even on campus, with the exception of the Yujin fans who tried using you to get close to her.

“Y/N, I promise you, when you make it on the national team, there’s gonna be a ton of fan accounts for you.” You’re in the middle of pushing Gyuvin away and blushing at his comment, about to contradict him when you hear a voice calling you.

“Han Y/N!” You don’t even realize you were already at Hanni’s house when you look towards the sound and two girls are waiting for you at the steps of a big house.

The first thing you notice is Hanni’s hair. She cut it, a fuckass (affectionately) bob that looked exactly like the one she wore the first time you ever met her.

The second thing you notice is that Minji is right beside her, already smiling at you. She stands up from the steps she and Hanni were sitting on and shakes off the dust from her pants. She wears a simple white graphic shirt and oversized blue jeans, beige puffer jacket hanging off her arms, and she looks so much taller than how she did when she was 16.

(That’s weird, shouldn’t she have stopped growing by then?)

The third thing you notice is your heartbeat suddenly racing when her eyes and yours meet for the first time in three years.

It beats at the same pace it did when the afternoon sun hit her face when you were 7. It beats at the same pace it did when you stared at her sitting by the window in middle school. It beats at the same pace it did when she sat beside you on the bus and fell asleep with her head on your shoulder.

Nothing has changed. Nothing at all.

It hits you like a bullet through your chest, but you try your best to ignore it as Hanni runs towards you. 

“You asshole!” She yells with a smile on her face, and it contaminates your lips when she hugs you. She doesn’t hug you as tightly, but it’s longer than you expected. When she finally pulls away from you you touch the short strands of hair that cover her ears.

“What happened here?” You ask, watching in awe at the striking change.

“I kind of had an existential crisis last night.” She responds shyly while caressing her trimmed locks. “Minji helped me make it look better. It did not look good when I did it. They didn’t know either!” She points at the two behind you, both of them with their jaws hanging when you look back.

“Dude, you literally look seven again.” You say. You don’t mean it in a teasing way, she genuinely looks younger, but you reconsider telling her that when she hits you in the arm. Hanni widens her eyes at the unexpected roughness, “What the hell… you did get swole.”

“Can we stop talking about that?” The topic of your arms is starting to tire you, but it’s mostly embarrassing, so you groan at the mention.

You hear Minji laugh when Hanni goes up to the other two and they immediately start touching her new hair. It makes you laugh too, but you gasp a little when you feel a hand touch your shoulder.

“Hey.” She says, her god-damned pretty eyes look at you so sweetly, and her voice is so soft, and-

“Hey!” You say before thoughts about her take up your brain and you awkwardly freeze.

She smiles right before she hugs you, and it’s surprisingly warm, but you’re sure most of it comes from your own blood rushing everywhere inside you.

Everything about her is gentle, her eyes, her voice, her embrace. It’s a complete one-eighty in contrast to the tightness of everyone else who’s put their arms around you for the past two days.

“I missed you.” She says so delicately, almost quiet, even if she says it right next to your ear. And you’re about to melt, and she has no idea, so you hug her back, a little less soft than how she does, and say “I missed you too.”

It comes out a lot more calmly than you expect it, and you internally praise yourself for not making a fool out of yourself. It’s not like you want to pull away, but you might start sweating if you don’t.

You take your arms off her back and her warmth suddenly fades away. When she looks at your face again, there’s a small grin painting her lips, “Congrats on the win.” She pokes at your shoulder and you laugh at the gesture.

“It’s only third place. I want first.”

“Oh wow!” Her amused smile makes you dizzy, “Didn’t know you were so ambitious.”

“People change, I guess.” You giggle with her. But you haven’t really changed at all.

“Well, you better get first place, tiger.” She teases and you groan even louder at the nickname as you get away from her to join your friends. Maybe getting over Minji won’t be so hard.

Getting over Minji is going to be fucking impossible. Matter of fact, you're sure it’s never gonna happen. You’re going to be 45 and still think about her, and it’s going to slowly kill you.

You stare as she holds a little cow plush in her hands, inspecting it carefully. Her round eyes shine just like the glossy buttons of the doll. You think of a believable excuse before you take your phone out of your pocket and open the camera app.

You zoom in and despise how your fingers tremble before you snap a photo of the girl, unbeknownst to her.

Gyuvin comes up behind you, his voice is quiet yet it still startles you, “What’s the pic for?”

You look at him with widened eyes and bring your hand to your chest. “Just… memories.” Truth lies within your (not quite) excuse. “I want to look back on things like this when I go back to Seoul.”

The boy narrows his eyes at you and smirks, “So sappy.” He teases, so you zoom out the camera to 0.5 and take a bad close up of his face, “Hey!” He laughs.

You get away and put your phone back in your pocket to look at more of the items in the store. Many things catch your eye, small, shiny, weird, big, you could buy it all if you had the money to.

You walk around the shop, your eyes examine all the items on the old wooden tables and your fingers lightly brush on some of the more eye-catching trinkets. You stare at the little ceramic figurines of dogs and cats and other animals and mentally consider buying the little calico cat on the far left.

There are some cute keychains with little black and white designs as you pass by. You add them to your roster too. Hanni’s voice catches your attention from a few steps away.

“Y/N! What do you think of this cardigan?” She’s in the clothing section of the store, sporting a vintage cream colored wool cardigan with little brown stripes on the sides of the sleeves. It’s a little big on her, but oversized is trendy so it’s fine.

“It’s cute!” Your eyes glance towards some of the clothes behind her, “I like that one better though.” You point at the blue-gray checkered sweater behind her and she frowns in confusion when she looks at it, “Y/N, that’s so ugly.” Guess you don’t have an eye for fashion.

“Oh well…” You sigh and keep looking for more artifacts.

As you walk around, you accidentally bump the top of your head on some of the ornaments that hang on the ceiling, the sound of multiple wind chimes emerge a little before your quiet “Ow!”, which grabs the attention of Yoona and Gyuvin.

“You okay?” The girl asks in concern, but you can hear her hold back a laugh between her teeth. Gyuvin isn’t so subtle, his laughs resonating on the walls of the shop.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You assure Yoona as you rub your forehead with your eyes closed, turned away in embarrassment. When your eyes open again, they land on an item that makes you freeze a little.

A small, pale blue hair clip. It looked oddly similar, if not exactly the same as the one Minji wore on the first day you met. The clip she lost on that same day while the five of you swam in the ocean together.

You remember her being so upset when she realized it wasn’t there anymore, so much she cried silently on the way back to your respective houses. She was over the sadness of losing it in less than a week, but it stuck with you after Hanni told you in a whisper that it was the first time she ever saw Minji cry.

You immediately take the clip in your hands, the first item you’re certain you will buy. Actually, you buy it in that same instant. Thankfully, none of your friends seem to notice your quiet purchase, too engrossed in their own item search.

The five of you spend around 40 minutes in total in that damn shop, and you could kind of tell the owner was getting sick of Gyuvin’s constant questions on how he acquired the items. “They’re mostly donations or things I find on trips. I don’t know anything else.” He says.

In the end, you bought a few more things apart from the hair clip. You did end up buying the little calico cat figurine, a silver necklace with a spiral pendant, a pack of stamps with really cool designs, and a love letter.

There was a cardboard box sitting on a chair in one corner of the shop with a sign that said “Old Love Letters, ₩300 Each”, and not only is it something you’ve never seen anyone sell before, but it’s also cheap. How could you not buy a chance to snoop around in unknown people’s love lives? 

You put your stuff in the little tote bag Yoona had bought for you. She said the design made her think of you (it had three monochrome fish painted over it).

Now you’re making your way towards the nearest soccer field. You used to play there all the time with Gyuvin, sometimes the other girls joined, or some of the other kids in the neighborhood.

The five of you walked with you right in the middle, like you were the center of a K-pop group. It definitely made you stand out to the locals of the neighborhoods you passed through, and some of them even recognized you and went as far as to congratulate you.

Did your parents tell the entire town about your rank in the league?

“It’s like I’m walking with a celebrity.” Hanni voices just as you get back from shaking hands with one of the old men of the neighborhood. As much as you enjoy the praise and congratulations, it’s a little embarrassing to acknowledge you’re gaining a lot more fame within this town. You imagine this is how famous soccer players feel everytime they go out in public.

“Microcelebrity.” You clarify, “Aren’t you an influencer?” You recall Hanni spamming the group chat one time in the first year of high school because one of her Instagram posts had gone viral. After a while of her videos getting more and more views, she started gaining a small following and could be considered a daily-life influencer.

“Yeah, but most of my followers aren’t from here so I don’t get recognized everytime I go out.”

“To be fair, this is the first time this has happened to me. My parents probably told the whole town about this.”

“Oh, they sure did. Even my mom found out.” Minji states, to your surprise. Minji’s mother was well known for not liking any sports at all, and it’s not that she hated them, she just wasn’t interested. She didn’t even know who Messi or Ronaldo were.

“Wow… I knew they liked to gossip, but that’s… crazy.” You scratch your nape shyly. Your parents are known for finding out everything, but you didn’t know they also told everything they knew.

“She didn’t really know what anything meant but she was very happy for you.” She says with a smile.

Oh! There’s a strange giddy feeling that shows up as a smile on your face you can’t hold back. You’re not really sure what to say, but you don’t even have to worry about it, because before you realize you’re already at the field, and when the boys that are playing there take notice of your presence, all you can hear is screams.

Sounds of “Y/N Noona!”, “No way it’s Y/N!”, “You’re back?!” get closer as the match pauses and they start running towards you. Most of them are your high school classmates, some are your younger neighbors or underclassmen you played with during recess.

You get closer and they bombard you with hugs and questions, with countless reminders of how much they missed you. One of them complains about you not answering his texts, and another boy defends you by excusing your forgetfulness on being busy.

“Okay, okay. I’ll make it up to you with a match, okay?”

You end up playing for two hours straight, the first half with your friends as a team, but after a while it seemed like the only one with energy left was you. Not even Gyuvin could keep up your pace.

“No wonder she’s an athlete.” Hanni says, fanning herself under the shadow of a tree that trespassed the field enclosure. Your friends were all sitting down on the ground, watching attentively at the match you played against the boys while chatting.

It was 5v1 and you were winning 4-2.

Minji watched carefully at the way you carried yourself on the field, so graceful and yet not passive at all, a different perspective compared to how you usually are.

There's a little bit of sweat that glistens on your forehead, and after playing for such a long time you only now start to look slightly tired. “I pray everyday she makes it to the national team and gets rich.” Gyuvin says.

“Same.” Hanni answers, laying down on a blanket over the warm grass and resting her head on her bag and it makes Yoona laugh when she grumbles at the discomfort of feeling all the crystals she bought on the back of her head.

The boys score another goal at you, so you decide to get serious and start playing like you would at a normal university match. Minji stares when you run faster and slide through the opponents so easily. She kind of wonders if she could calculate your speed mentally.

Field length = 55 meters, Penalty area length = 9 meters

You were around 9.2 meters from the halfway line and traveled around 18 meters in a straight line, Minji counts 4 seconds.

18/4 = 5 m/s, 1 m/s = 3.6 km/h, 5 * 3.6 = 18 km/h

Han Y/N’s speed in that one moment was 18 km/h.

The average maximum sprint speed of La Liga athletes was 30 km/h, according to an NLM article (don’t ask Minji how she knows that; she isn’t even studying medicine).

Suddenly Minji feels the need to see you play an actual serious match.

“I don’t think you need to pray.” She says with a smirk, standing up from the ground and wiping away the bristles of grass stuck to her jeans. “She has it in the bag.”

The others notice her taking out her wallet from her pocket, “Can you buy me a Fanta?” Gyuvin makes puppy eyes at Minji, even while knowing they never work on her, or anyone for that matter.

She gives him nothing but a wave and walks away, “She’s not getting you shit, dude.” Hanni kicks Gyuvin in the back with the tip of her foot and Yoona laughs at the scene.

The grocery store is not far away at all, only a block from the field, and Minji treads lightly with her mind made up on what to buy. A bag of chips and two glasses of apple juice, and maybe a strawberry lollipop for Hanni, NOT cherry, she notes.

The owner is an older lady who used to babysit Minji’s mom. She’s seen her countless times in her life so it’s easy for her to greet her brightly. “It’s been so long, Minji!” The woman greets her, her aged features morphing into a kind smile.

It’s true, it has been a long time. She doesn’t really come here that often anymore unless she’s taking a walk out of boredom or walking the neighbors dog when she’s out of town. She used to come here all the time when you all went to play soccer, but the matches got less and less frequent after you left, mostly because the only one who actually wanted to play was Gyuvin.

Minji makes her way to the drink section of the store and lights up when she sees the chilled glasses of apple juice right where she remembers them being. She was honestly surprised you hadn’t brought a water bottle with you when you left, and maybe just water would be healthier and hydrate you better, but she’d rather make you happier with your favorite drink.

(You would’ve been happy enough even if she just brought you water.)

The glass is cold when it reaches her hand, a nice contrast from the heat of the afternoon sun. She was starting to get a little hungry so maybe instead of chips she’d get a sandwich. Maybe she’ll get two.

She excuses herself in her mind, she’s not excluding her other friends! It’s just… this day is about you, of course her focus would be you. And maybe tomorrow. And maybe the whole time you’re here. She laughs at herself while walking up to the counter. She meant it when she told you she missed you.

“That would be ₩4,200 but I’ll give to you for ₩4,000 because I missed you.” The woman beams her a warm smile and Minji can’t help but return it. She hands her 4,200 won anyways and is out the door before the woman can complain. “Bye, Mrs. Do!”

Minji walks back with a smile on her face, the wind hits and blows her hair back. Some leaves and dust get blown her way too but she doesn’t have to squint her eyes because they already do that when she smiles. 

The sun isn’t as bright and the rays don’t burn her skin anymore. She hears louds screams just as she’s getting closer to the field, and when she looks through the gaps of the metal enclosure she sees Gyuvin running up to hug you while the boys you were playing with fall to the ground in defeat.

She missed your win. Minji puckers up her bottom lip and sighs, shoulders shrugging helplessly.

You hadn’t even realized she had left until you see her enter the field again, so you send her a light smile she almost doesn’t catch. She looks back to the other girls and when her eyes meet Hanni laying on the grass she realizes she forgot her strawberry lollipop. Oh well.

She sits down next to Yoona and takes her sandwich out of her bag.

“What’d you buy?”

“Just stuff. Nothing for Gyuvin.”

Yoona laughs at the comment. “The apple juice is for Y/N, right?” Minji nods as she looks at you tap the boys on the back to cheer them up, “You can have the other one if you want.”

Minji was just about to open the packaging of her sandwich when she sees you and Gyuvin walk towards her. She quickly stops her actions and takes the other cold glass from the plastic bag, struggles a little to open the lid, and just as you take your last step she holds the cold apple juice to your face, or the closest to it her arm could reach.

You’re a little taken aback, but luckily you don’t blush at her act. Instead you just smile at her, mirroring Minji’s own kind smile and take the glass from her hand. “Thanks.” You say before you take a sip.

Both of your hearts feel full, yours at the flavor of apple that fills your tastebuds and calms the thirst of running for hours, and hers at the fact she made you even just a little happy with such a small action.

You gulp down probably half the glass down and end it with a “Ah~” that makes your friends laugh. “You still do that?” Hanni sits up and rests her hands behind her on the grass.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve done that since you were a kid.” Minji says and your eyebrows raise,”Really?��� All your friends nod.

“I never noticed.”

Minji goes back to her sandwich as you and Gyuvin sit down in front of the other three. You’re tired now, but you don’t wanna lay on the grass because you say it makes you itch, so you try resting your body weight on Gyuvin, to which he adamantly pushes you away, “You’re heavy, Y/N!”

“What the hell, bro. I’m literally not?” You pout at him to try and get him to surrender but he just pushes you away harder every time you try to lay your back against him.

“Go lay on Minji or something, not me.” He says as he pushes you for the last time, you hear Hanni laugh.

You look at Minji and she’s already putting away the plastic bag she had on her lap. Oh, okay, yeah, no biggie. No problem at all.

You do a great impression of acting normal and move to sit next to her. “The shadow is better on this side anyways.” You fake whine at the boy as Minji grabs your shoulder and guides you to rest your back on top of her legs.

You turn your body so that you face her and hope she can’t tell your heart starts beating faster when you notice she’s already looking down at you. It’s a beautiful scene.

Minji’s face, the green leaves of the trees behind her and the sun peeking through the gaps, the wind blowing her hair a little to the side, the way her eyes smile at the same time she does. “Hey.”

“Hey.” You answer.

Everything about this is normal! You have to close your eyes so you believe it, and you start to after a few seconds. Everything about this is normal. It feels so normal and you love it.

It’s soothing. The wind caresses your face and you lose focus on the conversation your friends were having beside you.

And then Minji starts running her fingers through your hair and you lose focus on anything that’s not her.

Your heartbeat picks up for a few seconds and then it doesn’t. And then it’s all calm again. Your eyes are closed but your mind pictures Minji so vividly, smiling at you sweetly while her eyes. Her loving eyes.

God, you hope you’re not blushing, because you can already feel yourself getting warm all over. Thankfully, the gentle breeze is there to save you when you need it.

 And then there’s a moment where everything, the breeze, Minji’s hands caressing you, and the sound of playful conversation, all merge at the perfect moment and you experience a calm that feels heavenly. Almost divine, and it sends you into instant slumber.

You don’t really remember every detail of what you dream of, you just remember it being about Minji, Seoul and snow. Either way, you know it had something to do with her confessing her feelings to you after you win nationals. You remember that you froze after she kissed you, then called your name after she saw you not move.

“Y/N! Y/N!” You hear your name being called out, then your body being shaked roughly. “Y/N!” You hear loudly before you wake yourself up.

“Sorry!” You don’t know what you’re apologizing for until your body jerks away and your forehead almost hits Minji’s. “Oh, sorry.”

“You fell asleep.” She states the obvious with a giggle.

“No shit, queen.” You hear Hanni laugh loudly at your response. “How long was I out for?”

“It’s 5:25.” Yoona says behind you, only then you realize they were already packing up and it was time to go. Where? You have no idea.

“Shit. Sorry guys.” You sit back up and stretch your muscles before you can stand properly.

“My legs fell asleep, you know?” Minji announces, and when you look back at her she has a teasing smirk on her face.

“Yeah, well, maybe blame Gyuv for that.” You answer sassily, but you can’t help but feel a little guilty.

Said male goes to grab the tote bag Yoona got you and the half finished apple juice you left behind and holds the bag it to your face while you’re still stretching, “Hurry up, girl. We gotta go to the beach before sunset.” He throws the bag at you and you catch it just in time.

“Careful! I have a cat in there!”

You arrive at the beach at exactly 6:00 P.M. and as soon as you get to the sand Gyuvin is already taking his shoes and shirt off. You look at everyone, confused on the plan you never actually listened to.

“We were going to swim?”

“Do you not want to?” Hanni asks.

“I don’t know…” You look at your friends with a sorry expression. You were already worn out from the whole match, and even after you slept a whole two hours on Minji’s lap, you still felt a little tired. “I’m kinda drained guys.”

“Bro… How could you?” Minji looks at you like she’s so betrayed and you laugh at her annoying little face that’s also so pretty and cute and annoying

“Bro… I’m sorry.” You play along. Calling the love of your life “bro” is crazy.

Okay, “love of your life” is an exaggeration (it’s literally not, in every sense of the word literally).

“I’ll watch your bags and take pics!” You tried bargaining, and they look at you like you’re crazy. “Guys, please, we can come swim tomorrow. The beach is not going anywhere considering we literally live beside it.”

Then Yoona gets real close to you and whispers, “You’ll pay for this.” then takes off her shoes.

“What the hell, man.”

Gyuvin and Yoona are already running at the sea and splashing each other, they don’t actually care about you not joining. Hanni hands you her bag with a strange force and you don’t know where it came from, “Take care of my babies.” She says.

“Your… babies?”

“My crystals.”

“Oh, right. I will.”

Minji walks up to you when Hanni walks away and hands you her jacket and another bag, this time plastic, “There’s one sandwich left in there. I told Gyubin not to eat it and I didn’t think he was going to listen but he did, surprisingly.” She tells you with a smile.

“Thanks. Very thoughtful of you man.” Alright, pack it up.

Minji sends you one last smile before she leaves and your heart beats when her eyes squint too. You watch her disappear into the waves and smile. You take out your phone and take a picture of your friends all swimming and playing in the water, their silhouettes clashing with the sun that was just about to set. It’s so pretty you make it your lock screen immediately.

You take out a blanket from Hanni’s bag, the same one she was laying on in the soccer field, and spread it on the ground to sit down. You take off your sneakers before they get filled with sand and take comfort in the warmth of the sand beneath you.

You stare at your friends for a bit, a beautiful picture presented just for you. You’re so happy to be back. Your stomach lets out a loud grumble before you even get to tear up. What a way to ruin the mood.

You take the bag Minji gave you and take out the sandwich. Ham, bacon, cheese, lettuce- oh, who cares. You take a bite out of it and it tastes like home. She definitely bought it from Mrs. Do.

It eases your hunger quite well. You hear the waves crash and Minji’s laugh from far away and, what a beautiful sound. What a beautiful person. You think of Minji and think of beautiful, not just from her appearance but her soul. What a beautiful soul.

You take your last bite and your stomach feels full, but you feel a little empty and can’t pinpoint what it is. You feel like you’re forgetting something. You reach for your new bag and search for whatever it seems you're forgetting.

Oh, right, the letter. Suddenly you feel excited.

The sun starts just in time. What a way to set the mood. You take out the white envelope and notice it still has some scent remaining. It kinda smells like something Minji used to wear, jasmine and liquorice. You didn’t smell it on her today, though.

You notice the envelope doesn’t have a sender or recipient name anywhere on it, nowhere at all. Maybe they didn’t plan to send it, or they changed the envelope at the shop. Eager to know more, you rip the envelope, careful not to damage the letter itself.

You take it out and take a deep breath to prepare yourself. You’re probably a little more excited than you should be, but whatever. You’re excited to intrude on a stranger's possibly failed love confession.

Except when you unfold the page, it’s not from a stranger.

You panic and fold the letter closed just as fast as you had opened it. You must have misread, right?

You open it again and the top says “Kim Minji, 23rd of June, 2021” like it’s a diary.

It must be another Kim Minji. There are hundreds of thousands in South Korea. It could be anyone. Anyone at all. So you keep reading in hopes it’s someone who’s not the girl swimming in the sea just a few meters away from you.

Dear Y/N,

It’s not a stranger. It’s Kim Minji. Your Kim Minji. You’re reading an old love letter from Kim Minji. You bought a love letter from Kim Minji for 300 won.

Wait, why is it addressed to you?

Now, you’re more confused than shocked. Now, you have to find out. You were going to put it down and not read it to not intrude and break your own heart, but now you have to find out why on Earth the first two words are Dear Y/N written in Kim Minji’s handwriting. So you keep reading.

Dear Y/N, I hope this finds you well. If you’re reading this, I gave this to you on the 24th or maybe even earlier on a strike of confidence. I hope you’re not keeping yourself up to read this at midnight. I wanted to tell you something I’ve been keeping for a long time before you leave for Seoul. Maybe it’s a selfish thing to do, and it won’t keep you from departing, but I think it would be worse to tell you this through text and I can’t bring myself to say it to your face.

I have feelings for you. Real romantic feelings. I like you a lot.

I like possibly everything about you and it’s killing me that I’m so scared and unable to tell you. I don’t even know what I’m so afraid of, really. Probably rejection, but even if you did like me back I still have to live without you for four years. My wish of you coming to visit me will probably depend on how harsh your rejection is, but I’d still like to see you back regardless.

When you first told us you got that scholarship for Korea University, I was so happy and proud of you. In a perfect world I would have kissed you and told you how happy I was for you and maybe even gone with you. But it’s not a perfect world and I just told you “Congratulations!” and you’re leaving tomorrow, without me. 

I’m not one to take pictures, if anything that’s you, but right now I wish I had an album full of photos of you, of us, because I don’t know how I’ll make it without seeing you everyday. I think I won’t, actually. I hope you consider letting me borrow the photo album full of the countless pictures you take, even if they’re not of you they might fill the void you leave in my heart.

Anything from you will suffice, I think, but just your memory is not enough.

I kinda wish you could stay, but I also know you’re going to do your best over there and I hope you fulfill your dream of being a professional player. When you said you were going to choose to study mass communication I thought “that must mean she’s going to communicate with us a lot!” I hope it does. I hope you don’t miss us too much, but I do hope you miss me a little bit more.

I’ve never written a love letter before, if you could even call this that, so excuse me if this is not a good one, I’m sorry. I should probably state what I like most about you, but I don’t even know where to begin.

I love the way you’re driven to do your best even at the smallest of things. When we first met, you built us the best sand castle I had ever seen in my short life of seven years. The sandcastle was still standing when we went to visit it the next day.

You do your best at school, even when it gets hard for you, and I love that you’re not afraid to ask for help when you really need it. I kind of envy that if I’m honest. I hope you become the best student in your major.

I remember the time we babysat Ms.Yoon’s daughter and you were the only one who knew how to change her diapers and at what time to feed her. I also love how good you are with kids and sometimes it makes me think of very inappropriate thoughts of building a family together, but I won’t get into that because I don’t want to be weirder than I’m already being right now.

I love the way you always try your best to make me smile when I’m upset or stressed and even just the thought of you going out of your way to care is enough for my heart to melt. When I got sick in middle school while my mom was out of town you came to my house every day and made me chicken soup. I think that was the day I started thinking of you as more than just a friend.

I love the way you look when you put your hair up in a ponytail. I used to stare at you the entire time we watched you play during recess in middle school.

I love the way you’re clumsy and you’re never embarrassed about it. You always get up when you fall and you don’t pretend it doesn’t hurt when you scrape your knees. And I love the way you still try to smile when I’m patching up your wounds.

I love the way you always want the best for us and encourage us to be ambitious. I wouldn’t be on top of my class if it weren’t for you.

I love the way you like cats and they like you back. They always hiss at me unless you’re around. Maybe it’s a sign that we should be together all the time.  

I love the way you say Ah~ when you finish drinking water after playing soccer.

I love (you) the way you love apple juice. I hope you feel the same. – Kim Minji

P.s. if you don’t i also understand and you’re free to do whatever you want with this letter.

You have no idea at what point you started to tear up, but you only realize when a tear falls from your eye into the paper and blurs the ink in the last “Minji”. 

You don’t even process anything around you at that point. All you can think about is that Minji liked you 3 years ago and never told you and now you don’t even know if she still likes you.

No matter how much you think about it, you would’ve absolutely given her your photo album, if only the letter had actually gotten to you when it was supposed to.

“I saw you open the letter from over there, I came here to be nosy.” You can’t tell anything she says because you’re so entranced but you can tell it’s Minji’s voice. You freeze when she sits beside you.

“Is it any good?” She asks before realizing you’re completely paralyzed. “Hey, are you crying?” She touches your shoulder in concern, and it wakes you up a little bit, but the only thing you can do is hand her the letter.

She stares at you for a few seconds before she finally takes the page and mutters, “Oh.”

You don’t really want to look at her, and you don’t know what comes over you that makes you turn your head anyways. The red sun rays hit her face in a way that makes her tan skin glow. Her hair is damp and her shirt is stuck to her body but you don’t dare to look.

She’s clearly just as shocked as you are to see the object in her hands. And she still looks so beautiful. “Y/N, I-” You wipe your tears and sniff before she turns and see them in your eyes.

“Was this the one you bought?” You nod, and she looks back at it with her mouth hung low. “I… was wondering where this went. I thought I lost it.”

“You didn’t send it? At all?” Minji shakes her head. Wow, this is so great. “Why didn’t you?”

“I was supposed to give it to you before you left. I was hoping it would make you stay, but then I thought I was being too selfish and… just didn’t.” There’s clearly some regret still left in her face and the wind starts to blow. You hand her the jacket you put down next to your friends’ bags. “Thanks.” She says as she puts it on. You turn away to look at the sunset and gather your thoughts.

There’s no expression on your face for Minji to read, and for some reason she starts getting worried. “Y/N… I- It’s been three years, you don’t have to worry about-”

“Do you still?” You ask while looking away at the sea.

Minji stays quiet.

“Do you?”

She still keeps quiet. You turn to face her.

“Please tell me the truth, Minji.”

There’s something about how the sun makes your eyes glow and how you say her name that sabotages Minji at not giving in.

“Yes.” She speaks out with a sigh, “I do. I still do.”

You don’t know if your heart is beating faster or slower, but you feel it beat stronger. You turn away to get your bag, Minji just watches, her eyebrows slightly furrowed in distress and curiosity. The only thing she wants right now is to know how you feel.

You reach inside your bag for something, and Minji can’t really tell what it is when you take it out.

Finally, you extend the pale blue hair clip in your hand, “I have liked you since we were seven, Minji.” The girl looks at the clip then at you, her round eyes widened in disbelief.

“Are you serious?”

You hold your hand closer to her, urging her to take the gift before you sniff once again, “I saw this and thought of you. It looks like the one you had when we first met, that’s the day I started liking you. I haven’t stopped since.”

Minji takes the clip from your hands and feels herself tear up, says nothing, stares at it, then stares at you.

“We’ve known each other for thirteen years and I’ve loved you for thirteen of them.”

“I had no idea.”

“We had no idea.”

“We knew nothing about everything.” It’s now Minji’s turn to sniffle but still smiles as she wipes away the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes.

“How could you never say anything? Thirteen years, Y/N.” Minji complains while caressing the blue clip in her hands like it’s a precious stone. “Thirteen.”

“I got distracted with soccer.” Minji laughs with you and pushes you away by the shoulder. “Every goal I’ve ever made has been for you, though,”

“That’s so cheesy.” Minji giggles to herself as she pops the clip open and places it on her hair, it snaps shut with a ‘click’. “What do you think?” She says, turning to you. She tries to ignore your eyes and how sweetly they look at her.

“I think I love you more than I love apple juice.”

That’s the last thing you say before Minji smiles and gets shy, she looks away but her hand searches for yours and you help her by placing yours over hers. She fights back by taking it back and placing hers on top of yours. It makes you laugh.

The sound of your laugh takes her attention and now she stares directly at you, a smile on her own face. Her cheeks now take a reddish color, and her eyes shine like the reflection of the sunlight on the water. It feels like a deja vu.

You think you could stare at Minji’s face all day and not complain. You think maybe she thinks so too with how intensely she’s looking at you.

You raise your eyebrow when her eyes trail down from your eyes to your lips, and she seems to notice when your lips form a smirk. “What?” She giggles at herself, her already red cheeks turn an even darker shade.

“I saw that.”

“Weren’t we about to?”

“So straightforward, You should’ve been like that when sending that letter.”

“Oh my god, shut up.”

Is the last thing she says before she leans forward, she hesitates a little bit and her eyes go from your lips to your eyes, a shine of expectancy as if asking for permission, even when she already has it.

She’s about to close the gap when the both of you hear a chorus of gasps from the sea. It takes your attention. Hanni, Gyuvin and Yoona are all pushing each other giggling and gasping, hands on their mouths. You hear a faint “It’s finally happening.”, You can’t tell who it’s from though.

Minji is visibly annoyed, yells “Look away!” and it bounces in the waves. It’s actually insane how dumb she looks, red cheeks, furrowed eyebrows, pouty, perfect lips. It takes you everything to control yourself and even then you still can’t help grabbing her face gently and turning it towards you to finally, once and for all, kiss her.

You don’t really care if your friends actually turned away or not, because you can’t really tell with how glorious it feels to kiss Minji. It almost feels holy. You feel like you died and went to heaven in five minutes.

It’s a new feeling, a new experience, and it feels so familiar at the same time. Like flowing with the waves, like dancing with the wind, like drowning in apple juice, drowning in love.

Your lips dance like that for a while. At one point Minji’s hand goes up to your face and it’s such a warm feeling it makes you smile into the kiss. You start running out of breath and you don’t even notice. You could die happily if it meant dying with Minji’s lips on yours.

But then your stupid survival instincts kick in and it’s such a shame you have to pull away.

Both of your breaths are heavy and you burst out in laughter at the same time when your eyes meet. When your laughs die down your eyes fall on the pale blue clip that adorned Minji’s head. “You look so cute.”

“Says you.”

And then you hear cheering from the beach again. “Finally!” Hanni yells. You watch in astonishment, “Did she know?” You ask Minji while the both of you watch the three of your friends jump up and down in the water.

“I have no idea. I didn’t tell her. She might’ve noticed.” The cogs start to turn in your brains.

“They all did.” You and Minji say at the same time, then laugh at the same time. What a friendship of thirteen years does to you. And when you see Gyuvin and Hanni get up from the water and get closer to you, you realize you’re about to be ambushed.

“Oh, hell no.” You mumble right before you stand up and grab your bag. Minji just looks at you confused, “Come on, get up. They’re wet.” But Minji doesn’t seem to cooperate.

“Dude!” You grab her hand and pull her up as you run away as far as possible from your friends. You don’t even realize where you’re going, but laughing with Minji while running on the sand at sunset feels heavenly.

You look back and Minji struggles to keep up. Gyuvin and Hanni don’t look anywhere close and they probably decided to just let the both of you go, so you stop running.”

“We…” Minji rests her hands on her knees as she catches her breath, “We didn’t have to run that much. I’m not the soccer player here.”

You send her an apologetic smile, “Sorry…” 

Minji now can stand up and breathe stably. She looks back and there’s no one behind. “So, where do we go now?”

“Home. You need to get changed or else you’re gonna get sick.” You walk towards her to touch her shirt, “It’s still damp.”

“Isn’t your house nearby?” She asks, “I live further away, and it’ll be night by the time we get to my house.”

You squint your eyes at her, “My clothes won’t fit on you, they barely fit on me.” You flex your bicep and the sleeve gets so tight it’s going to cut your blood flow if you keep it like that. “And I haven’t seen your mom yet.”

“And I want to have dinner with your parents.” She confesses. “My first official meeting with them as your girlfriend.” You never actually established that but it’s not like you’re going to refuse the offer.

“You’re actually so annoying, bro.”

“Says you, bro.”

“I’m your girlfriend, bro.”

“No shit, bro.” Minji holds her hand out for you to take it, and you gladly do. You start walking in silence for a little bit.

“Also, my mom won’t let us make out at my house.”

“Okay, that’s enough, bro.” You take your hand back and walk faster to get away from Minji. She immediately sprints to catch up and stick to you.

“I was kidding!” She tries to grab your hand but you refuse it and take it back. “Hey! Hold my hand!”

You look at her and wouldn’t you know, she’s making puppy eyes at you. It makes you give in, it never fails. “You’re so sticky.”

“You wanna know something?” She says as you start walking together again.

“What?”

“When you kissed me it tasted like apple juice.”

end.

🗒️ probably one of my favorite things i've written i giggled a lot and had fun writing this.. there's probably lots of mistakes here and there but i beg u pls ignore it bc im dizzy i can't look at words anymore. Minecraft coming soon! love u guys 🫂

[scudevils]

Hey girl! Could you do Nico x reader for a cute Halloween moment? Maybe carving pumpkins or choosing a couples costume (No smut please!)

monster mash — NH13

pairing: nico hischier x fem!reader

warnings: cuteness????, literally nothing not even swearing, use of a knife

synopsis: nico finally learns how to carve a pumpkin [<1k]

"did you have to get such a big one?" nico complained, scooping out the insides of the pumpkin into another bowl for the 'pumpkin pie' you were most definitely not going to make. the leaves outside had already turned shades of orange and brown, falling to the wet ground to be stamped on by kids boots.

"its not that big," you argued as you sat atop the counter, one of his hoodies falling to your mid thigh keeping you cozy with the cold breeze in the air, watching him do the dirty work whilst you planned what you were going to carve into it. over the years you'd done a range of things; ghostface from scream, jack skellington and more. "stop complaining." he glared back at you, forcing a laugh to escape your lips.

"it's the size of a house!" he exaggerated, the sleeves of his rolled up jumper threatening to unravel as his arms flailed.

you rolled your eyes at him, flicking through the cookbook you'd been reading and spotting the pumpkin pie, not looking nearly as appetising as you thought it would have. "if you complained less it would be done by now." you said, fighting the urge to smile at his dramatics, it was a reason you loved him. "do you want some help."

"no, no, schatzi, you look at what we're gonna cut."

"carve, nico." he waved off your correction, still scooping out the insides of the pumpkin, threatening to cover you in 'pumpkin guts' for anymore of your attitude. "do you even know how to carve a pumpkin."

he didn't answer, still scooping as you asked him the question again, gasping when his answer was still silence. "you don't know how to carve a pumpkin!"

"nina always did it for me!" you side-eyed him, still in shock that he was 25 and had never carved a pumpkin, something that made you think back to the halloweens you'd had together where you were always the one carving. "stop judging me!"

"i can't not judge you for that, hurry up and i'm teaching you how."

your words must have been a boost of encouragement as he finished up only a few minutes later, two bowls full of pumpkin pulp and a nice and empty pumpkin ready to be carved. "okay so, this is what we're gonna do," you showed him the picture of your idea on your phone. "take the marker and draw it on the pumpkin.

nico did as you said, tracing the drawing of the image onto the pumpkin, fixing any smudging before handing you back the pen. "now you take this," you turn around rather quickly, knife in hand and nico takes extra precaution, taking the sharp object out of your hands as quickly as he could. "and stick it in the pumpkin."

"just push it in?" he asked and you nodded, carefully pushing the knife straight through the flesh of the fruit, he followed your next instructions, tracing the lines he'd made with the marker and taking out chunks of the pumpkin.

you smiled at him as the mouth started coming together, he looked so proud of himself, dimples becoming more apparent, you couldn't help but find it adorable, watching as he tried to make the eyes as circular as he could. and having to step in as he nearly stabbed himself when taking the knife out.

"i'll take over, i'm sure devils fans wouldn't appreciate their captain getting himself stabbed." he let out a laugh, passing the knife over to you before washing his sticky hands, scouring the messy kitchen drawers for a tea-light candle to sit in the pumpkin.

it was nearly finished by the time he'd found one, just a few imperfections you needed to fix or it would make you go insane when you lit the candle and place the top of the pumpkin back on.

you looked like proud parents, their little one going to its first day of school when in reality it was just a pumpkin on a counter top. "you can finally tick 'carve a pumpkin' off your bucket list"

[222col]

more sugardaddy!au | patrick's obsessed with you, taking advantage of you every moment he can, art's dreaming of doing the same | 18+

the week patrick spends at your apartment is amazing, buying you new outfits for all his matches, dressing you up a little doll. you spend most of the rest of the time hidden away from the world, patrick using you as his personal fuck toy. destroying you in every place possible, over the kitchen counter, on the chair in your bedroom, up against your floor to ceiling windows. you cook him meals, make him coffees every morning and shower him in affection any chance you get. he's never felt so looked after in all his life. art's messages have died down, not stopped, but your phone isn't ringing every 20 minutes anymore.

i watched patrick's match. you looked beautiful. i can't believe you let him kiss you like that

he's hurt. broken. ashamed of himself of never claiming you the way patrick has. the tennis news world haven't stopped talking about this up and coming model that's captured the adoring eyes of tennis fans. art sees every post, every new article that comes out about you. tennis fans are eating you up, praising you for your fashion choices, that patrick of course secretly claims as his doing. social media is blowing up any new picture of you and patrick that comes out. patrick's been posting you, so shamelessly. pictures of you at dinner dates, when he takes you shopping, candids of you doing your make up. all art can do is watch, and complain to tashi, who's given up on listening.

"the finals in two days," patrick says to you, sat on your couch, your legs on his lap. "hmm, i know, i'm looking forward to it." you mumble peacefully into your morning coffee. "if art wins today, it'll be the two of us in the final." he's stroking your legs, softly drawing shapes on your shins. "i know." you gulp. patrick tilts his head to the side, his hands now massaging your feet. he's pushing, he wants more from you. "you haven't seen him since you left last week, have you?" he knows the answer, you've been with him the whole time, but he's easing you into the conversation. you simply shake your head. "no, i haven't, but he's been texting me obviously." patrick already knew that, he's seen most of the texts. "how do you feel about it? if its us two in the final?" he's being sweet, bringing up your feet to kiss your toes, making you giggle. "i don't know, it'll be a bit weird obviously, i don't know how he's going to act, but i'll be there for you, not him." you bring your coffee mug up to your lips, taking a sip. "you gonna be rooting for me, princess?" he kisses your toes again. "obviously." he leans over to you, taking your mug from your hands, putting it down on the coffee table. "hey, i was drinking that." you pout at him. patrick crawls over your body, placing himself between your legs. "you gonna be shouting my name, cheering me on to beat him?"

if there's one thing in this world patrick loves more than anything, it's power. he thrives off it, revels in gaining power and using it to his advantage. he and art have always had interesting power dynamics, patrick's always loved watching it unravel in front of him. so this new storyline in their dynamic excites him, and quite frankly, turns him on.

you're trapped underneath him, nodding softly at patrick's words. his lips attack your neck, straight to the sweet spot he's discovered that turns you into putty under his spell. "patrick," your eyes close, his name slipping off your tongue like honey. the way you say his name makes his cock twitch, like no one's ever pronounced it right before he heard his name escape your lips with a moan for the first time. "god, if you said my name like that on the court when cheering me on art might just kill me there and then," he's kissing his way down your body, sliding his tongue across your skin, pulling up the t-shirt of his you're wearing to expose your bare chest. his lips wrap around your nipple, more moans slipping out of your mouth, hands grasping hold of his curls. he keeps tonguing his way down your body, pulling your underwear down your legs. licking a line through your folds, hands groping your chest. guttural moans leaving your lips as he blows hot air on your sweet spot.

"bet art never had you moaning like this, princess," you should be uncomfortable, should feel fucking terrible about the way patrick talks about art. but you don't. you're dripping at his words. art was sweet, gentle, fucked you slowly, patrick waits until he's fucked you like an animal, coming inside you before he asks if you're okay. he lets his primal instinct take over, fucks you hard and takes no mercy. "tell me," he mumbles against your cunt, pushing his fingers inside of you. you mewl at the feeling, his digits curling up to massage the sweet spot inside of you. "fucking tell me." he's ordering you now, moving his fingers at the speed of light. "never," you moan, hands tightening around his hair. "never fucked me as hard as you, never made me cum as much as you."

you can feel him smirking into your sex, making out with your clit. he's working you into orgasm, not pulling away to breathe, not stopping the speed in which his fingers are fucking you. he lives for it, wants to drink you in, like no matter how close his face is to your pussy, it'll never be enough. lapping up your cunt, drunk of the taste of you. your legs clinch around his head, back arched as his name falls from your mouth, screaming out. he tongues you through your orgasm, placing one final kiss to you as your legs loosen around him. "good fucking girl."

pushing his body onto the floor below the couch, his body landing with a thud, his mouth agape. straddling him as you fall on top of him, lips attacking his, tasting yourself in his mouth. only breaking apart to pull your shirt over your head, patrick following suit. pushing yourself up on his chest, sitting on his lap as you grind your bare cunt against his clothed cock. "stop fucking around and ride me." patrick's instructions are his own form of begging, ordering you around when he comes impatient. his hips buck up as he pulls down his boxers, lifting you up by your hips and forcing you down onto him. he doesn't hold back his moans as he thrusts his hips up as you bounce on his cock. his hand around your throat as you fuck each other at pace. he's intoxicated from you, eyes dark, not prying his gaze off your body for even a second. his hands moving to your shoulders as he stops your movement, groaning your name as his hips bruise your thighs, pushing against you, filling you with his load. hands dropping to his sides as he comes down from his high, sliding out of you as your mouth darts around his cock, licking him clean. "jesus, where have you been all my life?" you giggle around his cock, kissing up his length before leaning over to kiss his forehead. "let's get you cleaned up." you smile and lead him to the shower, where he inevitably can't resist you and fucks you again against the glass.

"never fucked me as hard as you, never made me cum as much as you." the sound of you plays from art's laptop, sitting on his bed, watching the scene unfold in from of him. watching patrick climb all over your body. art's hand slips into his shorts, he knows it's wrong, perverted, even. but he missed you, needed to see more of you than the occasional picture on patrick's story. logging into the security app on his laptop, pressing the 'watch live' button, seeing you and patrick having a domestic morning in your living room. starting to close the app, but as patrick pounced on you, he couldn't bring himself to turn it off. art had the one camera installed in the living space in your apartment after your neighbour a few doors down had a break in.

he was hurt by your words, studying your expressions and the noises patrick was forcing you to create. stroking himself at the sight before him, he's disgusted at himself, but he can't stop. watching you fuck patrick as he dreams of himself being beneath you how patrick was. art works himself to orgasm, some of his come landing on the screen. he's so embarrassed, his cheeks so very red, but it doesn't stop him overstimulating himself at the sight of you getting fucked by his best friend.

[raythekiller]

I love the masky nsfw alphabet It riled up my imagination.. soo can i request for a hoodie one?? Thank youu

🗒꒰⸝⸝₊ NSFW ALPHABET ❛ ✧

Featuring: Hoodie/Brian

# Notes: its that time of the year again where i make 1 post and disappear for the next seven months <3 also DAYUM new post format?? (also also theres a new toby drawing on the way stay tuned)

A - AFTERCARE

Surprisingly soft. Wants to hold you close and maybe take a shower together. Don't get things twisted though - it's so he can keep feeling your body against his instead of to comfort you. Call it possessiveness or an ego stroke, maybe.

B - BODY PART

Thighs man through and through. Thigh highs drive him up-the-wall insane. Will also just absentmindedly knead them if you're sitting next to him, especially if you're wearing shorts or a skirt/dress.

C - CUM

Oh he likes it messy. Just enjoys having his cum on you in general - backshots, face, dripping from you after he came inside, you name it.

D - DIRTY SECRET

None. He has no shame and is very open about what he likes.

E - EXPERIENCE

Not as much as you might expect, given his demeanour. Don't get me wrong, it's still a lot, but he makes it seem like he worked as a pornstar for a few years with sheer cockiness.

F - FAVORITE POSITION

If you ask him, he'll say "all of them". But if you put a gun to his head and tell him to choose, he'll settle for doggy. Just loves grabbing your hips and ass while he's pounding into you.

G - GOOFY

He doesn't exactly make jokes, but his teasing might be a bit funny at times. He doesn't mind making things more silly or lighthearted as long as you still cum at the end of it.

H - HAIR

Usually clean-shaven, but he might get a bit lazy with it occasionally. Always at least well trimmed though.

I - INTIMACY

Usually adapts to what you like best. If you just want to get your brains fucked out and keep romance out of it, he'll happily do it. If you like something more tender with lots of "I love you"s, he doesn't complain about it either.

J - JACK OFF

A lot. This guy has crazy stamina (we'll talk about that later), I'd say maybe five times per week or so.

K - KINK

A lot but mainly: CORRUPTION!! I've said it before and I'll say it again he wants to bring the worst out of you. If you're a virgin, he wants go be your first. If you're not, he wants to see just how wild things can get when he pushes you a little.

L - LOCATION

Literally anywhere. He is a fan of semi-public sex, though. In the woods, living room of the manor when (you think) there's no one else home, in a busted alleyway, you name it.

M - MOTIVATION

Oh it's very easy to turn him on. Here's a huge one though: when you take iniciative. He's used to being the one starting shit. When YOU do it, though? When you make it clear you want him to wreck you? Fucking hot.

N - NO

Very short but obvious list: anything to do with piss, shit or vomit. Other than that, I think he's pretty open. Not even averse to being submissive every now and then.

O - ORAL

HELL YEAH BABY! Giving, receiving, whatever, he doesn't care. His mouth isn't just good for talking shit — he knows how to use that tongue. When he's getting head, though? He looks so pretty — head thrown back, moaning and whimpering with a grin on his face. Might buck his hips into your mouth for giggles (and because you sound hot choking on him).

P - PACE

Again, he'll go for whatever gets you off. If you like it rough and fast, he's in. If you prefer slow and sensual, that's also hot.

Q - QUICKIE

Biggest quickie fan in the manor. He just can't help himself most of the time and he doesn't really try to, either. If his horny, you best bet he knows how to get you horny as well and things just go from there.

R - RISK

Loves experimenting and finding new ways to make you moan. Doesn't mind getting a bit freakier every now and then.

S - STAMINA

Jesus christ what are they feeding this man. Y'know when guys are like "I'm gonna fuck you all night long" and stop after two rounds max? This motherfucker is serious about it.

T - TOYS

I don't think he'd go out of his way to buy them, but if you already have them you best believe he's using it to his advantage. Big fan of vibrators.

U - UNFAIR

This guy is MEAN. He doesn't make you wait for too long before fucking you but just those few minutes feel like an eternity with the atrocities he's whispering in your ear.

V - VOLUME

LOUD. He moans, groans, whines, whimpers, you name it. Not ashamed to make some noise and LOVES if you're loud as well.

W - WILD CARD

Likes having his hair pulled— WHO SAID THAT???

X - X-RAY

7.4 inches, cut. Not too thick, just the right girth.

Y - YEARNING

Can't go like, a week without having sex or at least jacking off. Homeboy has a lot of steam he needs to let out.

Z - ZZZ

Only god knows how he doesn't pass out immediately after. Chances are you'll fall asleep before him.

[ewingstan]

So one of Ward's main themes has been asking what's needed to change as a person. Its the whole setup for Breakthrough: People who've done horrible things trying to become better. There's been lots of sub-themes within that—accountability, punishment and repentance, separating yourself from your past. There's been a constant counter to it, with most of the foils or antagonistic forces expressing the idea that you can't get better and might as well let yourself get worse. Lisa does this through her pessimism about things getting better. A lot of the minor career villains have represented it through their willingness to "be more brutal" rather than stick to the old rules we're pretending anyone followed. Cradle represented it through how he blamed Rain for not letting him stay good, and before that the rest of the cluster represented it through blaming Rain for their own bloodthirstiness via bleedthrough. "This isn't my fault, the world is making me bad" has repeatedly been positioned as the obstacle to "Regardless of why I did wrong before, I can put in work to get better."

I do think that "others are too quick to judge agents for reacting to bad circumstances imperfectly" is a bigger problem then "people are too willing to blame their circumstances for their behavior." Mostly because those unfair judgements of moral character has been the justification for uncountable cruel punishments throughout history, lead to untold people being paralyzed by the fear of Hell, lead to children being treated like they needed evil beaten out of them and convicts being treated like they're being disrespectful for daring to continue drawing breath. It can be hard for me to overcome my gut reaction towards anything that seems to be arguing for moral responsibility, because I genuinely think our ethical systems would be better without that concept being included.

But, that's not quite what Ward is doing, at least not when its at its best. "You need to take responsibility" in the sense of recognizing that you could act differently in the future is, strictly speaking, different from "you need to be held responsible" in the sense I find harmful. So as far as central themes go, its not bad. I have resistances to finding it astounding, but it's not an inherently terrible angle or anything.

That said, Ward has framed the opposing theme in counterproductive ways. While "the world wouldn't let me change" can work as a good beat, its not something that people are consciously thinking and being motivated by. We can talk about "they thought I was a monster, so they stripped me of all means to live honestly, so I had to live as a monster" or even "they thought I was a monster, so none would speak with me except others they considered monsters, and we made each other our worst selves," but in neither of those cases is the character's actions driven by their own belief that people wont let them be good—its driven by the actual external circumstances of how people treat them and restrict opportunities. So the way Cradle suddenly starts behaving horribly, not because others are treating him in ways that affect his material circumstances, but because of his reaction to the cluster bleedthrough—it just feels mistaken to even invoke "you made me a monster" as a trope. It doesn't work as a critique of pushing the blame for your actions onto others, because Cradle's reasoning for pushing the blame onto others feels written as an afterthought.

My problem with how this is treated in Amy are related, but not identical. A few chapter's ago, Amy complained about the world not letting her change. I don't think it made much sense for her, not only because her becoming someone who externalizes her issues feels like an unsatisfying direction for her after Worm, but more directly because it doesn't make sense in the context she's in. And sure, she's someone who makes poorly thought-out excuses for herself, so I'm not gonna ding the writing for that. It just feels like it makes more sense as just a parroting of what some commenters have said about Victoria and Amy, rather than something that Amy would herself think.

The same thing seems true for the above passages. A lot of things that readers have said about Amy are now being said, by Amy. Amy is of course voicing the rhetorically worst possible version of those claims, but I think the interesting thing is that the context Amy's saying it is the main thing making it reprehensible. Because as much as Amy is repeating the thin substance of what some readers have argued, fans arguing with other fans that "you shouldn't hate this character because X," is just substantially different than a rapist telling her victim "you shouldn't hate me because of X." Even if the strict words spoken were the same, they aren't at all the same claim, because one is what the audience should feel and the other is how Victoria should feel.

You could argue against this by saying "if its right for Victoria to hate Amy, its right for the audience to hate Amy, because hate is right when it reflects an accurate judgement of someone's moral character." I won't pretend that conception of justified hate isn't somewhat widespread, but I don't think it stands up to scrutiny. Especially not applied to fictional characters.

[chrissturnslvtt]

ALONE

Summary: You and the Sturniolos are having a sleepover at their house. Chriss, who is closest to you offered for you to sleep in his room, which is where you'll be staying. (you have a crush on chris and you think he doesn't know)

Tw: swearing, teasing, blow, hand job, unprotected sex, kissing, nudity, breasts, aftercare

All of you are watching a horror movie, and you are cuddled up to Chris.

I look up at his sharp masculine features, perfectly lit by the televisions glow. A heat pools in my stomach as he glimpses down at me.

He smiles. God, I can't stand his smile, it's so perfect.

I can't help but smile back as a blush creeps into my cheeks. He notices my nervousness and lays a hand on my inner thigh.

Shit I want to fuck him so bad, right here, right now but Matt and Nick are here. I feel myself getting wetter.

Matt yawns. "I'm gonna head to bed, goodnight." He says before heading to his own room, shutting the door.

Nick then does the same as a few minutes pass by. Now it's just me and Chris. Alone.

He grabs my face and locks my lips into his, with a forceful kiss. Our tongues dance together, enjoying the taste of each other's mouths.

Chris traces his hand under my shirt, drawing small circles along my back. I let out a soft moan, breaking the kiss. We are both out of breath from the delicious taste.

He takes my hand and guides me to his room, pushing me down onto the bed. Chris closes the door and locks it. Now I know what's happening.

He tears my shirt off my body, and then he unuooks my bra. Sloppy kisses are carefully placed on my neck, leading down to my breasts, and he pops one in his mouth. His tongue flicks over my nipple and I shudder.

"Fuckk chriss" I mumble, arching my back to gain him more access. His hands roam all over my body, one focusing in between my legs.

He pulls my leggings down, along with my lacy black panties and he teases my clit, moving his finger up and down across it. "chris I need you" I moan.

Next thing, he pulls down his jeans and his boxers, his erection springing out. It's so big and long, I want it inside me now. He plunges two of his long fingers inside of my dripping pussy, stretching me out for his huge cock.

His fingers repeatedly hit my g spot, causing me to twitch in ecstasy. My eyes roll back to my head and my legs shake, hinting at an orgasm, and then he stops.

"Not yet, princess" he says, smirking. I kneel on the ground since it's my turn. I take his long thick shift into my hands and start stroking it. His head falls back and he lets out a low growl of pleasure.

I take him into my mouth and swirl my tongue along his tip, then take it all the way into the back of my throat. I start gagging on it because of its huge size.

I feel his cock twitch, I know he's close. I swirl around his tip again, massaging his balls. "Fuckkk" He moans as his hot seeds coats my mouth, and I swallow it all.

He shoves me back against the bed and lines himself up in between my legs. Its huge I don't know if I can take it all.

He shoves it in, inch by inch, groaning. He gets it all in and he increases his pace. I arch my back so he can go balls deep. It hurts but it feels so fucking good.

He continues to pound into me, and I feel close. My legs start twitching, my eyes rolling to the back of my head. My walls clench around Chris's huge cock, milking it of every last drop.

"Fucckk, that's it, princess" he groans. He pulls out of me, then lays beside me. I roll over to face him. He pulls some of my hair behind me ears.

He pulls me in for a passionate kiss as an apology. Our tongues united once again, but then he moved away, breaking the kiss.

"I'll run you a bath, princess. You deserve it." So he walks off towards the bathroom. I can't do anything but smile. I finally told him how I felt through sex. It's not the way I intended, but im not complaining.

[honeyjars-sims]

3.7 No Matter What

“So he said I need to get a job by the end of the month and that was that.” Johnny shrugged. He was relaying the details of the fight he’d just had with David to Khadija, trying not to let on how much it bothered him. As usual, however, she was able to see through the ruse.

“That’s a big consequence. It must feel pretty scary to face the possibility of being kicked out of your parents home.”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m going to look for a job, though. At least I won’t have my Dad breathing down my neck all the time.”

“That’s great! I’m sure it’ll feel nice for you to accomplish something on your own.”

On your own. Those words got to him. As much as he complained about his dads interfering in his life, the thought of being alone scared him. Maybe it was for his own good, but in a way it felt like he was being abandoned, like a kitten taken from its mother too soon. He tried to squeeze out a “yes,” but the words were sticking in his throat.

His silence was palpable. It grew from his body like an appendage, reaching out to Khadija and drawing her attention towards the pain he couldn’t verbalize.

Johnny suddenly felt the weight of everything he’d been holding in as it spilled from his body. Tears rolled down his cheeks and onto his shirt, one right after another until he was heaving with sobs. He couldn’t stop. He didn’t even want to. Everything in his body was screaming that he needed to get this out, to feel it and let it be seen.

Khadija remained silent. She knew better than to prod him. Everything was already out in the open; the words would follow when he was ready.

Finally, he spoke. “Do you remember when I was talking about my mom and Lexie a while back? When we were talking about what I expected from doing the right things?”

“Yes, I remember.”

“Well, I was gonna say, ‘They still didn’t love me. I did everything I was supposed to do and...they still didn’t love me.’”

“So it feels like the love you receive is contingent on your behavior? That whether or not you receive love is determined by how much others think you’re deserving of it?”

“No. I don’t know. It feels that way sometimes, or at least it did when I was a kid.”

“How about now?”

“Not really. I mean, I’ve been an asshole to everyone for months but no one’s cut me off or shut me out. They’re still here. I’m the one trying to push them away.”

“Why do you think that is?”

Johnny thought for a minute. Why was he acting out? He didn't like the person he was becoming, but maybe that was the point. “Because that way it’s not really me they don’t love. It’s the jerk I’m pretending to be. But…they do love me.” Johnny recalled David’s words to him before the session. “No matter what.”

“Yes, they do,” Khadija replied softly. “You’re a lovable person, Johnny.”

“Thanks. Even my mom loves me, in her own way. It’s not enough for me right now, but it’s there. And Lexie…maybe she didn’t love me the way I wanted, but she did love me as a friend. She was a really good friend to me. I miss that. I miss her.”

“And the love Lexie has for you, is that enough?”

Was it enough? Johnny had been so caught up in self-pity following the end of his relationship with Lexie that he hadn't even begun to consider what it would be like to have her in his life as a friend again. “I think so. Yeah," he responded. "It wasn’t before, but now? It means a lot to me that she cared so much.”

“I'm sure she still does.”

Johnny recalled all of the times Lexie had been there when he needed support; how she would drop everything to hold him in her arms as he cried without ever asking for anything in return. “Yeah, probably. Maybe I’m not as alone as I feel like I am.”

“See, you’re making progress.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“Progress isn’t always linear. Sometimes you make big leaps and sometimes you fall back. But now you have the skills to get yourself back on track, and you’re able to use them on your own.”

“Yeah, what am I even paying you for?” Johnny smiled. It was nice being able to joke in this room again.

“I’m pretty sure your parents’ insurance is paying me,” Khadija volleyed back.

“Okay, you got me there.”

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

Thanks @daniigh0ul for the inspiration for Khadija's line that progress isn't linear ����

[defectivefanboy]

Hello, hello my dear!

I really would like to request something, since you asked for it and hell yes the last episode was a banger. I love your Crimson HCs and I think you captured him really well. But I would like to read some nice HCs about the loveliest Prince of Hell, Stolas himself maybe got a little love interest in a Singer Succubus he met at Ozzies? Maybe she got something alluring to caught his eyes. (I don't mind if there are some nsfw parts)

Best regards

Ciel ♡

yall got me fucked up for saying this again, but still making me want to write the story (especially this request, it's like holding a carrot in front of the horse rn) but I will say my piece. I hope it was just a slip of the mind BUT I DO NOT WRITE FEMALE READER fuck I care if you read my writing, but the more it happens the more I'm pushed to write a cock onto the reader. I did ask for request so im not gonna complain anymore.

I would like to read some nice HCs about the loveliest Prince of Hell, Stolas himself maybe got a little love interest in a Singer Succubus he met at Ozzies? Maybe [REDACTED] got something alluring to caught his eyes. (I don't mind if there are some nsfw parts)

Overall Notes: Stories written on this blog are GN until specified. While this story uses they/them pronouns, and I don't mind female readers on my blog, I do not write for y'all, and if you are a fetishizer fuck off????????????????? ew.

C/W: SFW - NSFW(suggested/mentioned), Lots of song quotes, Suggestive behavior, mentions of alcohol/smoking, platonic flirting from Ozzie/Fizz, reader serves cunt /positive, low-key himbo reader, special guests Ozzie's other faces, I love them,

Notes: All music used and referenced too will be noted at the bottom. I realize I take so long on writing its like bad. I can either do it for hours on end or I have to split it up. Never in-between. Also tell me why I found myself at 1 in the morning listening to bird sounds to try and be accurate.

Sip the Gossip...

Giggles

Hoot hoot boy

my dear beloved

My dear Icarus

Anyways...

Ahem...

He never saw himself coming back to the lust ring after the first time.

Truth be told he hoped it was the last time as well.

But alas he found himself wondering around the ring once more

Stolas wasn't looking for anything when he came to the Lust Ring

Well,,. he was looking for something, more so someone

And that was a meeting with Prince Asmodeus himself

Truth be told, it's not too hard to find the bright and extravagant circus tent like building.

Flashing lights drawing a demon in like a moth to a flame.

Matched with the loud music that reverberated across the ring

Yet, it was a hassle to find the damned three faced demon prince, an even bigger challenge to get a moment with him alone.

And the moment he finally got to talk to him. Just as he was about to ask him to take this somewhere private. Just as he was about to get the words out. Just as he was about to ask for a crysta-

A voice rang out behind him, taking Asmodeus's attention away from a now annoyed owl.

Stolas turned around with a huff, his tail feathers ruffling in irritation, as his entire body puffed up in anger and mock intimidation.

Only to be stopped in his tracks once again as soon as he peered down below.

The soft flick of a heart shaped tail and pointed blacks horns with soft cracks of red running through them entered his view.

A mischievous succubus made their way past him and stood in front of Asmodeus.

The cheeky smile on their face caught Stolas by the tongue as they interacted with the prince of lust.

"Quite popular tonight huh, Oz? It's not too often you work the floor." A snicker came from the succubus as they passed by the goetia without a second glance. Stolas watched as they did a little handshake with the other, before Asmodeus softly placed a hand on their back. "My, my, you're here early~ Looking for some private time with your favorite prince~?" Asmodeus said, his two other faces cooing at the succubus.

A soft blush rose to Stolas's face at the lewd comment as he looked between the two. "You need to pay the dancers before you touch them, big guy." They said with emphasis on their words as they gently pushed his hand off them before turning and looking up to Stolas with a mischievous smile.

"Right, Feathers?"

They left right after their jest

And Stolas was left lapping at his tongue

Asmodeus continued on with their conversation as if nothing happened

Like he didn't just forget what he came here for.

But god. did he know what was gonna make him keep coming back.

And it certainly didn't go unnoticed by Ozzie, who swiftly invited him to tonights show.

Gotta be a good host at the end of the night right?

Residing in a balcony seat, Stolas was left on his own while Asmodeus went backstage to settle some issues.

Stolas fiddled with his phone as he watched the countless tables of couples from up above.

Maybe it was stupid to accept the offer to stay. Maybe he should just go home-

"Bartender~ I really did it the time! Need a couple shots for a good time!"

Oh. He remembers why he's here now.

Soft curious hoots came form him as he peered over the railing watching you talk to guest and other dancers.

You wore a simple black outfit as you leaned against the bar.

He had to stop himself from taking a photo of you covering your face when you laughed at a patron's comment.

The playful smile on your face as you took the drinks brought a small one to his face as well.

It soon took a full on blush when you peered up at him, raising your glass in a cheers to him.

Poor thing didn't know what to do with himself as his brain became a literal bird brain.

Shooting back in his seat he raised a hand raised to cover his face as he broke out into a soft fit of giggles and coo's

you gave a soft smile before walking back behind stage, waving bye to others as you passed by.

Maybe he really did have a thing for red~

Sitting up in his seat he fixed his clothing and feathers as the lights dimmed

"Hello perverts, pervettes, and the freaks who like everything in between~ I hope you are all ready for the show tonight! We have something very special for everyone, me included~"

Stolas remembered him from the last time he was here

The clown's vibrant color scheme and loud persona was hard to forget

As he pranced around the stage announcing tonights agenda, a figure emerged from the curtain behind him

Gaining a bit of courage back he straightened his back and cleared his throat

"Asmodeus, I wanted to ask about that succubus from before if that was alright?"

"I hope it's not to make a formal complaint now. I was just starting to like ya' feathers." A playful voice rang out form behind him

His eyes widened as he softly gulped and turned around in his chair

Stolas was met with a familiar smile that held the same playful tone as their comment.

Instead of the black outfit you had on earlier it looked as if you were there to hang out with him

A pair of comfy pants and oversized hoodie to match, he had to restrain himself from squeezing your face in his hands

With a soft ruffle of his feathers he softly leaned into you with an awkward smile

Making himself smaller, he peered down at the figure before him as he stuttered over his words

"Satans No! No nothing like that. I- uh, I, wanted to ask if you were a worker here?"

"Ooh! You wanted to buy a dance? Well~ you'll have to wait until after the show, but I'll find you after, yeah?"

With the flash of a smile they left as quick as they came and Stolas is left with one thought...

"Oh, I have got to fuck them"

Not too long after they left, the curtains behind him pushed over once again. This time revealing Asmodeus, who had a cheeky grin on his face as he pulled his seat out.

"I hope I didnt keep you waiting too long, now. I had to deal with a few things out back stage." He said as he made himself comfortable next to Stolas. Quick to shake his head Stolas sat up in his chair, dusting himself off a bit as the lights faded to black around them. Spotlights circled around the stage as music slowly built up around them.

The lights slowed and focused on the middle of the curtains that hung at the back of the stage. The curtains flung open and revealed the succubus in a black and red outfit that didn't leave much for Imagination, not that Stolas was complaining. A chorus of la's came from their lips as the lights dimmed around them to a single spotlight.

"Oh baby, baby, have you seen Amy tonight? Is she in the bathroom, is she smoking up outside?" The slowly made their way down the stage, looking at the crowd as they sang the song and made small gestures with their hands.

They made their way to the end the stage, leaning down closer to the guest in the front row. "Oh, baby, baby, does she take a piece of lime for the drink that I'mma buy her? Do you know just what he likes?" Before they said their last line they gave a sly look up to the balcony with a quick wink for walking back down.

"Oh, tell me, have you seen her? 'Cause I'm so, oh I can't get her off of my brain." Each note was staccato at the end, they're danced following along with the words. "I just wanna go to the party she gon' go. Can somebody take me home? Ha, ha, he, he, ha, ha, ho" With a mischievous glint in their eyes they looked at Stolas once more with their words. Whether it be just in jest or in all seriousness, his feathers ruffled at the shiver that made its way down to each of his nerve endings, if demons have them.

"Love me, hate me, say what you want about me But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy" More lights faded in as dancers in cages lowered from the ceiling. More dancers filed through the sea of tables and patrons as the succubus sang the along with the chorus. Each one performing their own dance with another as guest threw money their way.

The extra dancers disappeared once the second verse began, a few male succubus remaining on stage. The ones that remained interacted and touched the succubus as they danced along the stage, pushing them out of their way. Which was a little very enjoyed by Stolas as small hoots of laughter escaped him. "They seem to be livelier tonight, I wonder why~" Asmodeus commented slyly to the another prince while not looking his way. Though his other faces gave him dead away as they stared Stolas dead on, giggling.

With a choked hoot Stolas looked at Asmodeus as he tried to catch his breath. "Oh! Is that so? Well they are quite the... performer?" Stolas said questioning himself at the end, all while Asmodeus laughed at his confusion. "They are, aren't they? Seems they've taken a liking to you. Someones lucky tonight or better yet, getting lucky~" Asmodeus cooed softly leaning towards stolas playfully nudging him with his elbow. Only to laugh when he turned his head and was greeted with stammering and very flustered owl.

Safe to say Ozzie just found the story of the night for Fizzy when he finds him. Such gossip queens.

The song only continued on for a few more moments before the lights fully turned off and the crowd applauded as the dancers exited the stage.

Giving just enough time for Stolas to regain his composure

Or well at least a bit of it

Because the remaining minutes Asmodeus was there

He made it a mission to tease the prince before he had to return to his duties behind stage.

But thank satans Ozzie was called back stage quickly

Stolas didn't think he could take anymore of it

His feathers puffed up and face beat red he was pulled out o this thoughts by a knock

"Hope I didn't make you wait long. Wanted to wash up a bit before I came~."

Stolas let out a high pitched chirp his face flushed once again as he lapped his tongue for words

With a soft laugh you waved him off with your hand as you tried to form words through your giggles.

"I'm kidding! Ozzie said it's fun teasing you, but I think he's probably done enough already."

Before he could say anything you gestured for him to follow you

With a prominent blush on his face Stolas straightened his clothes and quickly got into step with you.

Walking down the hall Stolas thought of what to say as he followed behind you

'Would casual conversation be good? Or maybe a talk over a drink?'

Poor boy was a bit nervous

And it didn't help with each moment you got stopped by a worker or a fan.

Though most were quick small talk, some fans had gained enough courage to ask for a date.

Better yet, they would hop to the point and ask of your number.

Each time they got the same response, each given the same number.

"XXX - 867 - 5309"

With a smile and a wink, you waved them off each time.

'Maybe this was a bad idea' He thought to himself as he watched each demon walk away feeling giddier then the last

With only a few more twist and turns he found himself back stage passing by the other performers dressing rooms.

He took one glance away from you and the moment he turned back you were gone

Stolas only found you when you grabbed his hand and pulled him into a dressing room.

The room seemed still as the bass of the music became dulled behind the walls.

Clothing racks and dressers were scattered around the room as a vanity sat on one end of the room while a couch, a few chairs, and a table sat on the other end.

Knickknacks where randomly placed along the room, making it feel a bit less like the work place and a bit more cozy.

"Sooo, uhm- Was that really your number?" Even Stolas winced at himself for asking.

But it was quickly wiped away with a light laugh from you

you quickly made your way to radio and shuffled through the songs and pressed play

When the music started playing you made your way over to Stolas and quickly grabbed his hands. Pulling him into the middle of the room you danced with him to the music as you started singing along.

"Jenny Jenny who can I turn to? You give me something I can hold on to. I know you'll think I'm like the others before. Who saw your name and number on the wall" Letting go of his hand you twirled around before pointing at him and pretending to sing into a microphone.

"Jenny I've got your number. I need to make you mine. Jenny don't change your number. 867 - 5 3 0 9" As you continued to sing and dance around the room it finally clicked for him. It's a song. You've been quoting a song. A smile broke out on his face when he finally realized.

"You've been giving them a fake number! Won't they notice? They might even know the song-" His rambling was cut off by a hand waving in his face. With a gentle pull of his hand you lead him to the couch in the room. "Are you a cop? Or do you always ask these many questions, feathers?"

"What! Heaven's no I would never-" He was cut off once again, but this time, by a hand cupping his face and leaning closer to him. Enough to ghost your mouth against his as you spoke.

"Good, because I might not be able to justify my next actions~"

Then he never came back after that (im fucking wit yall)

While he doesn't make it to every show and performance.

He CAN be found in your dressing room right after each one.

Well you can honestly find him there most nights your on or in the building.

It' what a good boyfriend does <3

Yes, he was the one to ask what you two 'were' relationship wise

Bby didn't want another game of cat and mouse :(

But that was quickly cleared up with your answer

"Wait, are we not? dating? right now? Would you? like too? date?"

Be glad you're cute. He was ready to make a new ring in hell.

He was very possessive at the start of the relationship.

"Fizzie baby, when did we start ordering stone statues?"

They make wonderful coat and drying racks for the dancers though, so Ozzie doesn't have much to say about it.

"Just don't do it to any high bidders okay~"

stolas did apologize though, hes too much of a good boy not too

But there's always one thing he's glad about.

Stolas's day is filled with tedious and idiotic duties and task he has to complete.

But as soon as night begins to set in Hell, a new energy fills him as he runs around his room getting ready.

The one thing he is glad about is that he can always find you in the same place every night.

Be it the fact you're a dancer within the prestigious club, it was basically your job in a sense, you were always able to catch his eye off first glance.

Never more then a few glances away, soon only a few steps as he was the one now to pull you back stage.

What? Asmodeus said he was allowed too, as long as he put money in his pockets.

Make his pockets hurt, and make them hurt good - Ozzie, 2023

Your biggest supporter ever. It started off with simple five, tens, and twenties. Then it escalated to fifties and one hundreds. Soon he was throwing hand fulls of diamonds on the stage.

Which he was promptly yelled at for by Ozzie.

But after each set he's right back stage giving you hugs and kisses.

Not that your complaining much

Having your demon prince waiting for you, watching over you, and only you was an amazing gift after each performance.

He also helps ward off creeps from interacting with you often.

Were you a bit surprised when you saw his true form? Yes. Did you also fuck him in it after? Also yes, a few times. Never knew how much tension that form has. No worries his pretty little succubus is there to help him through it all~

But to be honest, I think he's always more soft than horny.

He's always bundled up in your dressing room, all cozied up on the couch as he has a movie or show paused.

Such a cuddle bug he is <3

And for the fact he comes here so often. bro might as well just work there

That the balcony seat he first sat in with Asmodeus was now a personal booth for him whenever he came

Nothing but the best for his beloved~

Only the best for his canary <3

･::｡ ･: ･ﾟ･: :｡･: ･:: ･ :･ﾟ･::｡ ::･ﾟ･:: ｡･ :｡:･ﾟ : ･ :｡･ﾟ･::｡･: :･ﾟ･

Songs used in the story ╮

Bartender song (Sittin' at a Bar) - You favorite martian covee | If U seek Amy - Brittany Spears | 867 - 5309 (Jenny's number) - Tommy Tutone

[paingoes]

Some thoughts/questions about the Roleswap AU

Are Delta's powers less strong in this AU because they weren't trained like in the original, or is it just a feature of the AU?

"You should let me fix that for you." So Apollo is a medic in this AU as well?

Someone needs to rescue Lorry :(

Speaking of Lorry, I'm glad Paris isn't completely isolated and that he and Lorry can complain about their owners/captors/bosses to each other. Canon Delta didn't really have anyone like that :(

Delta being mad at his dad for beating Paris is reminiscent of Paris being mad at Simon for beating Delta.

Urchin spine???? I'm a little confused about what's going on there.

"Figure it out." Sure, Delta. He'll just "figure out" PTSD and conditioning and faulty brain wiring.

Paris needs a (non-drugged?) massage. Regularly. And a punching bag, or some sort of outlet to get it out of his system. Idk if that would help any tho, I'm no expert. (Now I'm imagining Paris chasing cat toys lol. Because prey drive.)

-

Delta: stay with me while I sleep

Paris: you just tried to beat me up and muzzle me for trying to help you, are you kidding me? No.

Delta: Please :(

Paris: ...the waterfall is nice here. Fine.

giggling like a maniac. oh my god these walls of texts are my favorite thing to receive i feel so fucking blessed everytime.

1.) yes, delta was born with weaker powers in this AU, but if he was "trained" with the same intensity as canon he could've had them raised artificially. probably to only a small fraction of his canon potential but still higher than they are now. if you ask me i think he's a little insecure about this! that's really what he's getting at in the ending scene and why paris accuses him of pushing it too far. maybe he knows he has more potential that he hasnt unlocked yet.

if AS!delta got to glimpse into his canon reality, in spite of all the angst potential everything he might witness there, i feel like his dominant reaction is still going to be I CAN DO THAT?????

he cant do that

2.) yes :) whatever AU apollo lands in i feel like hes always gonna be like. right in the middle of med school and really annoying about it. kittys like oh my god you didnt graduate yet knock it off. and hes like. sounds like someones humors are unbalanced 😌

3.) oh my god yeah lorelai is in trouble!!! i feel like she came out of training a lot less fucked up than paris, kind of in the same way that she came out of their canon childhoods less fucked up than paris, because she's genuinely a better student and less likely to draw negative attention to herself. but i also think shes still very much in survival mode and has that adaptive stress to keep her going. so shes not necessarily falling apart in the way paris is because paris's environment is so relaxed relatively. it's hard to say what lifestyle is even right for lorelai i feel like she really does thrive under conflict and will always seek out some level of danger but it has to be tempered somewhat so she doesnt just. end up totally exploited and traumatized by the end of it. yeah i worry about that girl.

4.) mm yeah this was meant to parallel deltas little late night chats w kitty and apollo in canon, but you're right, they cant really commiserate w him in the same way because he hid so much for them.

also do you like that delta lets paris have a phone. i think this is actually an incredibly endearing thing about AS!delta and proof that he really is kind of nice because not only is he letting paris stay in touch with lorelai. he also knows who lorelai is and is concerned about her purely because paris is concerned about her. delta and lorelai have never met in person in this AU and they only know each other through paris but i imagine theyre like. friends on snapchat lol.

5.) yeah im sorry i still do think this scene is so funny to imagine. like its not funny but i know the way it happened was so fucking abrupt and stupid like. paris kinda swipes at delta -> IMMEDIATELY getting beat up by the king in a really stupid and direct way. like i know it was not premeditated at all it is purely just "get your fucking hands off my daughter". total parental instincts. yes delta was super mad about it at the time like oh my god stop stop he didnt mean to!!! and i think hes kinda more shaken up by it than paris even is cause paris is used to getting beat up. but yeah delta did not like that.

6.) i shouldve said pufferfish spine. deltas spiking paris w the shit that gets dolphins high in the wild. its a purely fantasy thing but yeah its a mild analgestic/muscle relaxant.

7.) yeah delta is....NOT trauma informed lol. of course thats just an issue w the institutionalized weapons, it makes sense he wouldnt recognize the programming as a kind of trauma in and of itself. he legitimately just thinks paris is broken for no reason and hes sympathetic towards it to some extent but he doesnt. really get it. and to be fair i dont think paris gets it either.

8.) these are such nice suggestions omg <3 thats so cute im imagining paris doing the cat thing where a bug gets into the house and hes just. stalking it for five hours. he definitely needs something to do with all that energy.

lowkey him and lorry just need to get into some kind of sport. that would legitimately fix them.

9.) “🥺🥺🥺”

[gurugirl]

Okay, I have been binging the TV series called Baby on Netflix for the last few days and the show itself is a tad mediocre ngl but the sleepy eyed Italian guy is literally everything I want in a man, (have a crush on him, did I mention?????????), and I have noticed you yourself have a bit fratrry context as well, so why don’t we make something special inspired of season one:

Imagine there is this couple, Harry and Giselle (I don’t know why but when I think of someone with mean girl vibes and rich, popular, blonde, hot the name comes to my mind and no offence) is super gorgeous, popular and power couple, their family is together in the business they are doing, he sort of is in a kinda arrangement, even few years old he was, it was obvious that they gonna have to marry, like he isnt even in love with her but just its is completely comfortable and familiar to be in a relationship with her bc of what he is expected.

And then there is this sorta newish girl, she has come here a year ago but he is been sleeping with her for last 6 months. Like her family is rich enough to afford this fancy school / college but she ist popular or has many friends. And harry is obsessed with her body… like he is handsome, rich, popular guy can get any girl and boy he wants but thereis something about her that draws him near of her like a magnet… can be how small framed she is compared to him, her big doe black eyes and pale skin or like his hands can hold her waist so tightly when she wants to escape while getting pounded, how helpless she looks under him, hands and arms pushes him from getting overwhelmed but legs presses him into deeper??? Like she is his personal slice of heaven and he is obsessed with her voice lips and everything belongs to her???? It is like more than love, but an obsession, something he thinks he is meant to experience and own.

So like somehow she founds about their illicit affairs and like while waiting for an apology she visits his home to complain about it all to his family but instead she finds them in his room, him doing ungodly thinks to her. Like i wanna see y/n winning without even trying and pure lust like an animal??????

It’s 100% okay if you’re not up for it and anybody else who wants to use the idea can ❤️

Hi hon! This sounds so hot! You come up with such interesting and complex ideas I'm obsessed! I can't get to it right now (still working on mean king for tumblr + other stuff) but I'll put this in my drafts to come back to.

Obviously if anyone else wants to use this idea - I'm fine with it too! (I would just ask that they let me know so I don't write it thinking it's something new and fresh!)

Thank you so much hon! Now I need to go watch this show on Nextlix!

xoxo

[mlmxreader]

Beggin' | Benny Lafitte x gn!reader (🍋)

『••✎••』

↳ ❝ Can I request “I wanna hear you beg for me to fuck you” and size kink with Benny please

I'm a s*ut for this man I mean look at him ❞

: ̗̀➛ Benny can be a really fucking mean tease when he wants to be.

: ̗̀➛ anal sex, anal fingering, begging, enthusiastic consent, rough sex, swearing, spit/drool, size kink, praise, sofa sex, dom/sub dynamics, BRIEF Daddy kink, biting kink

↳ MINORS & AGEESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT, 18+ ONLY

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•

The sun was shining brightly as a temperate weather began to settle in, making you wish that it would stay that way forever; usually at this time of year, Louisiana could be so bloody humid and sticky, but days like this were a fucking blessing and then some. As always, Benny would be working the night shift, which you always hated but you knew why he did it so you didn’t complain. 

You watched as he pottered around your kitchen, his shirt wide open until he took it off and tossed it aside to expose his magnificent body. Benny was a big guy, with his stomach hanging over the edge of his trousers and his large chest; his thick arms and the slowly greying hairs that sat on them as well as his navel and across his chest.

You began to bite and chew at the insides of your cheek, thinking about all the things he could do to you. How he was so big that overpowering you would be so easy.

He noticed you looking at him, and smiled as he winked at you. It made you squirm as you sucked in a harsh and unsteady breath, knowing just how easy it would be for him to pin you down and wishing that he would already. 

But Benny was far from fair, and knew all the right buttons to press to tease you and to get you going.

You hated him for it, even though you loved him for everything else in the world that he did and was. 

To play his game was easy enough, though, so you slowly began to unbutton the first few rows of your shirt until it gave him the smallest peek of the top of your chest, enough to draw his attention for a few seconds too long for it to be just a mere glimpse thrown your way.

You began to unfasten your belt, but before you could start to free it from its loops, Benny was stood between your legs, towering over you with his hands digging into the back of the leather sofa at either side of your head. 

You were all too aware of just how big he was, trying to hold back an excited whimper but it was all in vain. He tilted his head to the side, hunger in his pale blue eyes as he dragged his tongue along his bottom lip. Slowly, you reached out, and put your hands on his large bare chest as your breath hitched in your throat.

You swallowed thickly, all too able to feel how cold his skin was, sending a delightful shiver down your spine as you squirmed and wished that he would pin you down. 

“You gonna keep teasin’ me, sugar?” Benny asked, his voice a low and harsh growl, his grip on the sofa getting a little tighter.

You reached up, about to kiss him when he gently grabbed your throat and pushed you away slightly. “I could ask you the same thing, don’t you think?”

He chuckled softly, gently tracing your skin from your jaw down to where your shirt was buttoned. His cold fingers making you shiver and shake until you moaned softly and bucked your hips. Desperate and needy for him already.

“Oh, sugar, I wanna hear you beg for me to fuck you ‘fore I even think of doin’ anythin’ to ya.”

You wanted to scold him and tell him that he was a bastard for teasing you so much. With a soft growl, you bit down on the middle of your tongue to keep yourself from moaning. “Please? Please, can you fuck me? I promise I’ll be good, please. Come on, please? Benny, please? Pretty please? Benny, I promise I’ll be good.”

Benny hummed as he considered your plea for a moment, but then he shook his head and he smiled. “Little bit more now, c’mon.”

“Benny!” You almost cried out as you pleaded, a mere whine. “Please, stop teasing me! Fuck me, please!”

Finally, he caved as he leaned in and kissed you with a harsh move; you kissed him back immediately with just as much fervour and hunger, moving to let him straddle your waist and pin you down with your back against the seat of the sofa.

His thick forearms on either side of your head as he grinned down at you upon breaking the kiss; you laced one hand in his hair and the other at the side of his jaw, his greying beard tickling the palm of your hand and making you laugh quietly.

He was so big, and being so close only made it worse for you. Unable to even try to suppress the moan that left you when he put his thigh between your legs and allowed you to grind down against it; your moans began to get louder, aware of his big arms and his large stomach, his cool body temperature. 

You wanted to call out his name, especially when he put his hand under your boxers and began to play with you the second you gave him explicit consent to do so; he was always so keen on that, never doing anything without your say so.

But he got you all riled up and needy for him before he pulled away entirely, pausing for a moment to admire you before he softly tutted and shook his head.

“C’mon now, sugar, don’t be shy - why don’t ya tell Daddy what you want?”

You growled in frustration as you did your best not to buck your hips against him. “Please, I need you to stop teasing me and fuck me already!”

“I didn’t ask what you needed,” Benny grinned. “I asked what you wanted.”

You let out a long hiss as you rolled your eyes. “I want you to fuck me, please. Please, Benny? Just fuck me.”

Licking his lips, Benny disappeared for a moment before coming back with the bottle of lube from the bedroom; he was quick to help you undress, and even quicker to use his thick fingers to stretch your ass open with aid of the lube. 

“Face down, ass up,” Benny told you, and when you got into position, he growled softly. “You remember the safe word?”

“Baguette,” you told him.

Benny praised you softly, but you soon heard him unzip his trousers and push the fabric down, and when you felt the tip of his cock against your ass, you immediately pushed back and began to grind against him; but Benny didn’t waste time, looming over you as he angled himself up before slowly easing into you.

It hurt a little where his dick was so fat, stretching you out even more so that you could really feel the pressure. You moaned loudly as you pressed your forehead against the arm of the sofa.

A soft whimper of his name escaping you.

Benny stalled, giving you time to adjust as he made you sure you felt just how fucking big he was, as well as to catch your breath. But then you began to move, and Benny hummed lowly as he began to roll his hips, feelling you writhe and try to get as close to him as you possibly could, moaning his name. 

He loved how tight your ass was, just as he loved the begs that eventually came from you as well. The very second he heard that, he amped up his pace, rutting into you with harsh and long strokes - unable to deny that you were so warm and took every inch of his thick, fat cock so fucking eagerly.

He leaned over and sank his teeth into your shoulder, leaving his mark on you - claiming you as his and only his.

You could feel your release getting close already, his cock stretching you out so much that you knew you could never be with anyone else. Desperate to match his pace and eager to do so, chest heaving as you gripped the sofa as tight as you could without breaking it. Fuck, Benny was good.

His cock was so fat and his arms so thick, his chest and stomach so fucking big. He leaned against you, showing you just how much bigger he was, and you couldn’t help it, bucking your hips and trying to get every little touch you could.

The pace he was fucking you was relentless, making you rock back and forth with each stroke and each snap of his hips.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, legs shaking and toes curling as you loudly called his name, sweat dripping from your face; you were a little sensitive and raw, but begged Benny to keep going as he trapped you beneath his body and the sofa.

Your tongue lolled and fell from your mouth and over your lip, a long string of drool dangling from its tip as you begged him to do whatever he wanted to. 

Benny grabbed you a little harder, one hand at the side of you while the other took your jaw. Forcing you to turn your head to the side and look at him before he ran his tongue across your bottom lip as you opened your mouth; he was quick, crashing your mouth against his as he continued to fuck you through your orgasm.

Your tight asshole starting to clench around him and milk him as he began to cum at last; his thrusts getting slow and sloppy until he pulled out once he was sure he was finished. Watching it dribble out before he smiled and smacked your ass playfully.

“Now ain’t that just the nicest sight in the world?” He hummed, taking a moment to admire his handiwork before he gently helped you up. “You wanna get in the shower with me?”

You nodded, clinging onto his large frame as you let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, just make sure the water’s actually hot this time, please?”

He grinned, softly kissing you as he nodded. “I will, I will.” 

[sillycyan]

「 Daydreamtober 2024 」

I'm using the prompts to write, explain, draw, or just daydream more about the first events or facts that come to me when I see the word. Some things will be longer or higher quality than others, so please bear with me a lil bit. I gotta post lore somehow..

⟻ Day 9 — Chase ⟼ Word Count : 956

The city blurred by in a haze of neon lights and streaking headlights. The car's engine grumbled as it sped down the streets, avoiding traffic with carelessness. In the driver's seat, the huge man grabbed the wheel fiercely, a bead of sweat running down his temple as he sped passed a cab, almost grazing its side.

“They’re getting closer,” the woman in the back muttered, her voice barely cutting through the wail of sirens behind them. She leaned out the window, dark hair whipping in the wind as she took aim, her chest brushing against the guy next to her. He shifted awkwardly, clearly flustered but not about to complain. Her voice came out low, annoyed, “Can you keep this thing straight?”

“Lady, I’m doing my best here!” the big man barked back , jerking the car around a corner so fast the tires screeched.

Shots rang out again, and the police chased them with not as much speed. Bullets ricocheted off their car, with one just missing the windshield. People on the sidewalk scattered in fear, some ducking beneath benches as the car drove past.

In the front, the smaller woman, who looked ridiculous next to the absolutely hulking driver, hummed to herself. On her lap was something far more lethal than a gun... a rocket launcher. Could not tell you were she got that if I tried. She tapped it lightly, her eyes gleaming as if the chaos outside were just background noise. “Think they’ll play some music for us?” she asked, completely unfazed by the chase.

The driver gave her a bit of a side-eye. “Now?”

“Why not?” She reached over and flicked the radio on, scanning through static until a news report came to life. “The suspects are believed to be members of a notorious gang known for—”

“Blah, blah, blaaaah.” She rolled her eyes, turning the volume up with a small grin on her face. “They’re making us famous.”

“Turn it off,” A guy in the back muttered as he laptop furiously typed, hunched over his laptop, trying to make sense of their escape route. He snuck a glimpse, watching her from the corner of his eye. Even in these moments, she seemed carefree. It was like the danger just bounced off her. He wasn't sure if it was confidence, recklessness, or just plain insanity, but the calmness in which she held a rocket launcher disturbed him. Wasn’t a fighter himself, not like the others, but he knew his way around some tech. “No one cares about the news.”

The small woman just snickered, her fingers drumming impatiently on the launcher. “C’mon, it’s not every day you get this much attention.”

“Like we’re the worst thing they’ve ever dealt with.”

Another shot rang out, and the woman in the back gritted her teeth, leaning halfway out of the window to fire back at the cops. Her voice was muffled as she called back inside, “We’re not making it to NumberWon with this piece of junk if you keep driving like that!”

The driver’s laugh was dry, but there was an bit of humor he got out of it. “You think we’re surviving this at all?”

The small woman’s eyes flicked to the rearview mirror, watching the police cars getting closer. Her fingers tapped eagerly on the armrest, ready for action. She was always the type of person who felt the need for action, waiting made her anxious. "Come on, big guy" she teased the driver, her voice light despite her nerves. "You're not gonna let them catch us, are you?" When he stared at her, her smirk grew wider. She enjoyed pushing buttons, especially when everyone was in danger.

One of the others in the back was on the phone, still trying to get ahold of their boss. “No one’s answering!” he shouted, his voice strained with panic. “We should just ditch this thing and run.”

The guy with the laptop quickly agreed, fumbling with his screen as he watched their position close in on the building. “We’ve only got a few blocks. We could make it on foot if we move now—”

“Nah, I’m good.” the small woman cut in, a sly grin spreading across her face as she patted the launcher. “Awwww, but I haven’t gotten to use this yet... and boy!” Her excitement was almost childlike as she rolled the window down, ignoring the protests next to her.

“Wait, what are you doing?” the woman in the back asked, eyes wide as she leaned back inside, suddenly very aware of what was about to happen.

The small woman’s eyes sparkled very mischievously. “Making an exit!”

Before anyone could argue, she popped halfway out of the car, the launcher balanced on her shoulder. She didn’t even hesitate, just aimed it at the police car tailing them and fired.

BOOM!

The blast was tremendous, rocking the entire car as the rocket flew out, leaving a trail of smoke behind. The police car stood no chance. The explosion lit up the street, sending the vehicle soaring into the air before smashing into a shambles of flames and bent metal.

“Are you insane?!?” the woman in the back shouted, but the small woman just laughed, sliding back into her seat with a look of pure satisfaction across her face.

“That..” she said with a little shrug, “was so worth it.”

The others in the car were stunned into silence, even the guy with the laptop blinking in disbelief. The driver, however, just shook his head, a slow grin spreading across his face as he spun the wheel and careened into a narrow alley.

“Well, now we’re definitely making it to NumberWon,” he muttered, eyes beaming with adrenaline. “Hold on tight.”

[saturnssz]

Some stans absolutely do act like sn is still the majority, I was actually disappointed and confused that I kept running into so much ns lmaoo. They stay whining and complaining about girly naruto that straight women self insert into as if current ns isn't just that but reversed. Only thing is its probably less about being attracted to naruto and more wanting to be taken care of since thats what ns content centers around. The dynamic is always naruto somewhat taking care of or babying traumatized (quiet/fragile/subdued or tsundere supreme who refuses to ask for help) sasuke who takes up cooking/gardening or generally starts to act like a housewife.

There's sooo much content treating sasuke like a girl but for them it's justified because of the yin-yang dynamic. Ns stans draw for literally anything to make sasuke feminine but sn stans are still the cringe self insert devils. Can you imagine sn stans using boruto and sarada as proof for who's "the girl" in the relationship.

Idk which editor or whoever called sasuke the heroine but they've done irreparable damage, and that one shot manga mario or something too. Then there's posts saying sasuke is naruto's kushina and taking jabs at "Naruto self inserts" saying the popular naruto-kushina sasuke-minato isn't the way kishimoto sees it as if them and kishimoto know eachother.

I stumble upon ns fics sometimes and their descriptions of naruto as some (insert masculine adjective), sweaty, rough etc etc is so.. 😭 I've never read sn fics where sasuke is described like that. Don't even get me started on the way they draw him in fanart sometimes where naruto is broad and thick while sasuke is slim with the thinnest waist. If you follow ns stans you'd think sasuke was this sassy dainty twink or hinata 2.0. It's like they're so caught up in the symbolism and couple comments from creators they forget there's more to the characters and start pushing them into boxes, mainly the masculine/feminine active/passive ones.

Sorry for the long rant I've just seen too much 😭

Anon! If you're seeing this answer please follow me or send me a message you're so fucking funny. And you're right. Not gonna over it again cause I explained myself to other anons. But it's totally true, this is the state this shipping fandom is in and I want no part in it. I got like, most of them blocked by now and I dont regret it lol!! A bunch of hypocrites. It feels like now that I've spoken out a lot of people feel the same way so it makes me feel as if I know what I'm talking about 😭 I ain't the only one seeing this shit lmao. Like lemme see what you're seeing, cause I ain't seeing it unless I go look for post in 2014. And you're right about the fics too. Modern ones always make sure to point out that they're both pretty. Like he's ethereal, but they get it sorta way. At this point, they're what they fear and vilify those who like sasunaru more. They won't ever shut up about us, too, like they're still in 2010....youre like almost 30 move on. Oh the irony...

And on top of that, that dumbass "kushina parallel" gotta be one of my biggest peeves. NO READING COMPREHENSION. Take off the shipping googles for the n*rus*su stans and see that Naruto IS compared to his mother. Like what the hell?? 😭 They both have the dattebayo tick, they're both firey, outgoing and strong in their own right. Minato, his fucking dad outright states, "wow, you look a lot like your mother!" Does he have to have red hair to make it ANY more apparent? And I don't like naruhina, more dislike/neutral, but even in that boruto illustration Naruto was the one MIMICKING his mother while Hinata was Minato. Like ain't no way you despise the thought so much you start making up things. No, that does not mean he's super femme now, just that he takes after his mother in personality and looks. He's his mother, sasuke...idk. he doesn't fit Minato in my opinion LOL. You done got me heated, one of my most hated posts omg 😭 went on a tangent sorry about that

[ofcowardiceandkings]

me rambling about "Staring at the Sun" by Jacob Gellar and how much it smacked me in the face under the cut lol (contains exactly ZERO spoilers for TotK 💙)

AS SOON as i saw that his video would touch on the quests it does in some way i knew it'd fuck me up for a week or two but i didnt expect it to go that way - he rarely dives into the base plot of these things so i knew that was safe but ohhhh man

ive not played The Last Guardian but i know its one of my best friends favourite games, though the light in watching my partner play Shadow of the Colossus was amazing to see, but this really hit me hard because it pin-pointed one of the things i love most and maybe why i just love being in the world of Tears of the Kingdom (and BotW) so much ?? ive always been a fan of impressionist art too, and Turner as well, i've been trying to push myself into that space in my own art for so long. i always feel mega cliche saying these really well known artists are my favourites but i truly mean it jfdkjf ... this is probably one of the reasons i appreciated how bright and chipper the art style for Skyward Sword was with its fading blues and 'brush strokes', but it just doesnt compare to Breath or Tears with the amount of work the light puts in now, i spend so much time just STARING and ive just realised its usually at the light playing the forms and atmosphere in a real but beyond real way

i'm stuck in two art world of really enjoying doing linework and texture - and being reasonable at it - but wanting to go into colour and light though ive never been comfortable with doing so for some reason ??? im trying but i often just forget to try when im just drawing something self-indulgent and silly (most of what i have time for)

the play of light off cave art and that theory has lodged in my head forever too, As A Nerd On Such Things, there's something absolutely stunning about cave art, how it was made how it was put there and why how it was supposed to be viewed if at all, anything. absolutely fascinating, especially with the seemingly shifting images of Chauvet & Lascaux caves ??

a thing that always stuck with me as well - it might seem like a bizarre pull but it feels the same to me - is actually how the sun is portrayed and animated in the 1978 Watership Down ??? pulsing and moving and quaking with pattern and colour, not to be seen properly by us on earth, but you cant NOT look. i've not shaken the imagery of the sun from that movie from my mind since the first time i saw it as a child im STILL obsessed, it STILL almost haunts me

additionally, as someone who's repeatedly defended how these games look to people who complain about framerates and textures and whatever, i appreciate this. don't get me wrong, it doesnt HURT, especially from such a large gaming company (not that Nintendo have ever put heavy focus on the technical specs of their products though lets be real) but Breath/Tears just emphasises how much art direction or a vision can carry a project compared to other high-spec but ultimately forgettable titles. maybe a little much salt in that sentiment on my end but boy it bothers me when its all people can think about.

i'm gonna be stuck here for another few weeks lol this happens every time Jacob posts a video theyre ALL so winding and drawn out and beautiful gjfkds fuck

[uss-genderprise]

I posted 1,937 times in 2022

That's 1,423 more posts than 2021!

122 posts created (6%)

1,815 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ichayalovesyou

@space-dog-from-space

@weyounbathwater

@buttspocks

@uss-genderprise

I tagged 1,543 of my posts in 2022

Only 20% of my posts had no tags

#fanart - 586 posts

#weekly calendar - 58 posts

#threshold day - 52 posts

#star trek - 35 posts

#snw spoilers - 31 posts

#goncharov - 27 posts

#unreality - 27 posts

#so true - 26 posts

#asks - 25 posts

#long post - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#the word ‘top’ and the names ‘quark’ and ‘julian bashir’ do not belong in a sentence together unless its in this specific context

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i think the thing that really draws me to ks is that thing that old fics used to do all the time but i don't seen as much anymore, where they both care for the enterprise above all, they both love space so much, it's like a hyperfixation. how instead of that fixation making your partner resent you for "caring more" about that thing than about them, for taking up so much of your time and your mental space and energy, they instead share that love with you and instead of pushing you apart it's what brings you closer together. i just love that for them, i think it's so sweet and it works so well with their characters

and how, after all those years being together, kirk doesn't even hesitate to give up the enterprise for spock, because even though once upon a time they would have sacrificed each other for the ship and crew, now they're each other's whole universe, and their love is the most important thing. i am so soft

128 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#4

people all complaining about straight spock and edgy chapel but i'm just gonna say that the biggest change from tos is sam kirk. literally his name is george samuel kirk in tos only jim called him sam everyone else knew him as george

152 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#3

i painted @/spocksjuul's paper mache spock on my friend's wardrobe so now he stares at my friend every night <3

161 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

#2

happy worm wife wednesday everybody

294 notes - Posted February 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The K/S fanfiction masterpost is finally here!

For the past 8 months or so I've been working on this very special project for the benefit of mankind Spirk shippers

With 132 fics (and more being added every day!), all tagged with tropes and warnings, it's specifically designed to help you find fics you’ve lost, see if a fic might have something that is triggering to you but wasn’t tagged originally, avoid spoilers for episodes/movies you haven’t seen yet, and anything else you might need in a masterlist like this.

If you have any comments, questions, or tips to make it better, please don't hesitate to dm me, leave a comment, or shoot me an ask!

All reblogs and shares will be greatly appreciated!

323 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[gigicrazydraws]

Aight I'm putting this here because this is gonna be a long one.

This is in relation to the sketch I put out yesterday of Bee lashing out at someone over Prowls death and I really wanna talk about this because me and another friend had a pretty interesting conversation about how we think he would react.

So as we know Bee is young, the youngest of the group and as such based on what we've seen it is likely that he hasn't experienced loss before, at least not on this level. Had he we likely would have seen it in a flashback similarly to how we did with OP, Ratchet, and Prowl, so I feel its safe to say Prowl was the first person Bee ever lost that he was close to.

Now al of this is to say, he doesn't know how to deal with grief, as for how he reacts we both thought he would have a very extreme reaction with the most notable emotion being anger used to cover the grief.

In the drawing you can see him lashing out at Megatron as, yes, it is his fault that Prowl had to sacrifice himself. Had Megatron never launched the attack then there would have never been a need. But after they get back to Cybertron and Megatron is taken to prision Bumblebee cant take his anger out on Megatron anymore so he turns to the other person he feels is responsible in his mind: Optimus.

From the very first episode we see that Bee doesn't really want anything to do with this fight, constantly pointing out that they're repair bots and aren't programed for this, or anytime he's chosen to do something solo he'll complain or be like "why me". Once Megatron was a threat he did not want to be in the line of fire but who was the one always pushing them to do this? Optimus.

Now on top of all of this Bee is not above lashing out at Optimus when other people are involved as we see in the season 1 finale "Megatron Rising" when Optimus takes Saris key. Me and my friend both came up with the idea that once Megatron is behind bars and no longer an option for Bee to take his anger out on he switches it to Optimus for these reasons. He is able to reason in his mind that, yes, it is Optimus' fault that Prowl is dead, because if he wasn't so obsessed with being a hero, he wouldn't have dragged them all to protect the Allspark and Earth, and then if that had never happened, Prowl would still be alive.

Now obviously his anger is misplaced and he is truly angry at Megatron, but with Bee being young, immature, and as mentioned earlier, never having lost anyone close to him, he doesn't know how to properly work through the stages of grief and is stuck on anger, because its easier to be angry then sad.

Hope that all made sense, I really love exploring how characters would deal with grief and loss especially if we never get to see it on screen, and Bumblebee and Prowl had such an interesting relationship that I need to explore it more.

Forever sad we got no reaction from Bumblebee when Prowl died despite how close they were.

So I will do it myself.