#but its over. the headache is finally over. im free

[xyzzymancy]

FINALLY GOT MY MEDS

[norizz-nation]

Can you do a dark lewis smut fic

I was just thinking about writing a lewis smut, i hope you like it 😊

Obsessed 🤍

Summary: you thought all your problems were gone when you dumped your crazy toxic boyfriend but you felt like someone was watching you for quite a few days. it felt like someone was keeping an eye on you, that is when you realized your problems weren’t gone

Warnings: nsfw, 18+, dark, tw, hair pulling, cnc, usage of rope, dacryphilia, stalking

You were on a relationship with lewis for a good 2 years. Those 2 years were really beautiful. He’s just so caring and protective towards you. But as time went by he started to become more obsessed about you. His behavior was more possessive. You had to inform him every single thing. What are you doing, where are you, who are you with, why are you out this late, why are you this, why are you that. God. Every little questions made you more frustrated. At a point you were just tired by his behavior. He was just over reacting. You hated it. But now that you finally dumped lewis, things were different. You felt free. You were happy partying with your friends, happy staying home alone.

But something seemed off. Whenever you’re home, you felt like someone was watching you. It terrified you so much. You told some of your friends about it but they just said that you’re overthinking. “Y/n my love, youre just overthinking. Its probably nothing like that” but you knew something was wrong. You knew there was someone who’s watching you. Watching every move of yours.

It was currently 10 pm or something around 10. You stopped all your thoughts and did all your house chores. You were washing your hands in the bathroom as you got lost in your thoughts. All those sweet moments with lewis. It was so pure. You were so in love. But he was just being a controlling psycho. Always controlling all your moves. Was it really love? Or did it just feel like it. Your movement slowed down as you wandered around all your thoughts in your head.

A sudden movement made you flinch as you saw a man behind you, suffocating you with a small towel around your nose and mouth. You tried to resist but it was too late. You blacked out. Before blacking out all you could see was, the man sedating you is, lewis. Fuck.

You woke up with an intense amount of headache as you furrowed your brows. You tried to collect all the things, all the things that happened before you blacked out. Right. It was lewis. You were laying on stomach as your hands were tied with a rope. Your arms were aching as it arched to rest on your back. You were so frustrated and scared at the same time. You tried to move and get up but you couldn’t. Your mind was just blanking out. Your movement stopped as you heard lewis’ footsteps coming closer. Your breath got heavier as you closed your eyes. He came closer and traced his fingers all over your naked body. You tried to roll over to get away from his touch but your action just made lewis laugh. “You think you can get away from me baby?” He said as he brushed your hair from your face. You then tucked your face in your bedsheet to avoid his touch. But that made him grab your hair from your back and pull your hair to lift your head. You whined out in pain as he whispered in your ear “i dont think so you can get away from me now love, even if you want to. you’re mine” his smirk grew as he heard you sobbing.

“Lewis p-please let me g-go” you said as tears rolled down your cheeks, ruining your mascara. “Aww but baby why would i let you go when all i want is you. All i need is you” he said as you felt his weight over your body. Your wrists were sore as you tried your best to break free. “I’ll date you again lewis, i-im sorry i d-dumped you” you said as your bedsheet soaked in your tears as your left cheek rested on your bed. You whined as you felt lewis rubbing the tip of his dick on your ass. “N-no no lewis please, i dont w-want to” you said as you cried. “Shh love, be a good girl for me” he whispered in your ear as he went inside. You gasped and hid your face on the bedsheet, your toes curled up at the anticipation. You hated the fact that your body wasn’t taking your side. Your body wanted more of him but your mind stopped you.

Lewis pulled on your hair as your head fell back. His grip on your hair was strong. Causing a stinging pain on your scalp. “If you don’t want it then why are you so wet me huh? Since you dont want it then I’ll stop love” he said as you shook your head, you were so ashamed of how you’re acting right now. He then stopped his pace as you shook your head again. “N-no no dont stop baby, please” you pleaded as lewis scoffed at your words. “Baby?” He asked as you hid your face on the bedsheet. His pace was fast again as the room filled with skins slapping together. His dick made your pussy clench. It has been so long since you haven’t had sex. His touch made you reach your edge.

His breath got heavier as he fucked you hard from behind. “Did you fuck anyone else after dumping me love? Did you make another guy cum in your bedroom?” He asked as you shook your head. He pulled on your hair as you whined. “Answer me!” He shouted as you cried out. “No! No lewis i didnt” you said as you closed your eyes. Tears drying on your cheek. He then pushed your face on the bed as he wrapped his hand around the back for your neck. His whimpers echoed in your room as you felt his dick twitch around you.

The last few thrusts before he came was rough. You sighed as you closed your eyes, breathing heavily. He then grabbed your jaw whispering in your ear “good girl” as he smirked.

A/N: requests are open! feel free to ask what you want me to write! luv you ❤️

[smrtnik07]

librarians redesigned!!! by me!!! :)

the designs are free to use, i used this as a character design exercise for myself while recovering from carpal tunnel issues! read more for all the individual designs + me ranting :*

first off roland!! i included an angelica in here, i designed her before him, shes very triangular to me.. maybe a bit more messed up than roland tells us about, he is a biased narrator afterall. anyways i wanted his design to match hers nicely, so hes like a rounded square type of guy... i think projmoon designed him to be Just A Guy intentionally, so i played into it. overall the least interesting design of the bunch imo. its on purpose :)

angela !!! my baby :) an important thing here is her bangs. i dont want her hair to be able to recover from however many years she spent with the hard middle part in lobcorp, i think its cute to incorporate it still. swoopy, fluffy hair for her! and the clothes are just a bit more casual idk the librarian uniforms were kinda boring and stiff to me, as much as it does go with her character.. if u wanna be human u gotta experience the joy of sweatpants or whatever. also i didnt add color but i dont want her to be fully white<3 or fully clear skinned.. give her sunspots on her face. she finally gets to experience sun. :)

guess ill go in order of appearance lol. malkuth! whats the headband for if it doesnt keep anything out of her face!! since shes a bit more active than some of her colleagues, i also gave her a ponytail(its also for the silhouette...) also gave her some chubbier thighs.. also maybe a butler-esque coat, at least to me; i just made it a bit more form fitting than the original. playing into her personality or whatever. shes cute.. remember to take deep breaths!!

yesod!! i want to play into the skin issues a bit more, i still removed his gloves but i gave him a poncho, not just for the square silhouette im trying to build but for more coverage. also emo hair over eyes was funny. also wide flare pants for you, boy. just very square and put together in general

hod! this ones my favorite (i even cared enough to give her a pattern on that skirt!!) it was kinda bugging me how in the artbook i couldnt tell who was writing because hod's, malkuth's, and tiphereth's colors are so similar. so hod is pink now, and malkuth a bit more orange. i kinda went for a romantic poet thing here, dunno how much that worked out, but i think out of everyone you can tell shes the literature girl. gave her pigtails !! theyre cute :> also since i removed the coat decoration off of angela, i gave part of it to hod in the bottom of her coat :). cute and round!

netzach is a very strange man to me.. ellipse shape and loose fitting clothes for u. if i saw him irl i wouldnt approach him. not to say i dont like him as a character, i love him, but i want him to look like a depressed guy who would pick up art as a hobby to distract himself and it works. bro is just surviving out there. also gave him comfy clothes to make the surviving easier, down to the shoes and wide, id assume non-denim pants - maybe cotton? maybe sweatpants that dont fit around the ankle? who knows.

tiphereth!! since she's like the teen girl of the group i gave her a skater dress, converse, and a tied coat around her waist.. like how i used to wear as a teen when i was being a hater and recovering from a death in the family that changed my entire life (im still a teen ... 9 more days till im 20 as of posting this). also gave her fishnets i think she would like that. i imagine she would get headaches bc of those dumb braids on her head<3 or maybe bc her coworkers are kinda dumb<3

gebura :) round face, reverse triangle shaped body.. like a true butch lesbian stereotype.. i decided a leather jacket, docs and pants i see metalheads wear would fit her! red leather jacket, of course. also gave her spiky hair just like projmoon did<3 my favorite detail here are the eyebrows, i think their shape is rlly neat! nvm i think its just that gebura is rlly neat. anyways the eyebrows fit her

chesed my boy.. idk i just saw him and hit him with the transmasc beam and gave him , as the kids say, wh0re eyes. i wanted him to have rounder hips and just be round in general. turtleneck and cardigan combo also, i think he would like wearing that. also somewhat curlier hair, or at least wavy would do him well! and a tote bag, i dont doubt that he would go out to read in coffee shops if he could - so he gets a tote bag to carry his sociology books. i want him to look like he would give the warmest, comfiest hugs and be friend shaped

binah!! this one was the most challenging, trying to find the right place for the colors - to not use too little or too much yellow. i still dont think i got it right but this is as close as im getting. long face, long nose, siren-ish eyes.. messed up in the head bird lady that speaks like hannibal! i also dont think a dress really suits her so i opted for wide pants and a fancy black button up .. maybe angela styled her, who knows. also black fingertips which is a trait i like to give the arbiters (including an oc).. just my own little consistency thing i like to do :)

hi grandpa! ok for hokma i dont think the changes are that big? i gave him O shaped legs and his sword thing i turned into a walking cane, gave him a vest (didnt want to opt for a corset but i think he would enjoy the back support for proper posture) . also gave him a mild gradient from darker gray to lighter gray, since he IS the gray part of the ABC trio. gave him salt and pepper hair and an older face. forgot to draw it, but i wanted to give him a silicone tip for the sword so it doesnt dull out, which he can take off when recieving guests

honorary mention to go along with the angelica i mentioned with roland, i mildly changed up her twin(k) brother. i gave argalia and angie the same hair but mirrored, his a bit more curly and hers a bit more spikey, his face a bit more edgy, hers a bit rounder and kinder. not much else to say here, i liked his design as is, but wanted to add him here :)

[sskzlover]

restart

one - past due series masterlist main masterlist

810 words

the bad grammatically r is going so hard r, this series moves at a very fast pace

you were excited for college, you finally got away from your family, being able to pursue your dream. you also got to get away fom lee minho, your ememy from almost over a year ago. safe to say you hated his guts after you two been through countless arguements, physical fights, legitimate public embarassment. and when he stole the girl you wanted from you, the girl you fell in love with, who loved every part of you and who you could tell everything to, every insicurity, everything.

now you finally arrive to your dorm, you see a oddly familiar car. "im a bit early to be checking dorms so i should be fine." is what you think to yourself as you walk into admissions. "hello, i see youre a bit early, name please," the HR attendant says to you. "Y/N" you say with a little eagerness. "you signed up for a co-ed room correct?" the HR attendant says. "yes!" you say. "did you see who you were going to be roomed with? it was sent out in a email a few weeks ago." "no actually, i wanted to be surprised" "okay, i got you. lee minho." when you heard that name your whole world froze. you felt a chill on the back of your neck and you knees almost locked. "lee minho? did i hear that correct?" "yes maam, your roomed with lee minho" you wanted to throw up, cry, throw something. "okay, thanks" the HR attendant hands you your dorm key. "thank you again"

you dig into your back pocket to get your phone. you scroll and find the email that reads. "Dorm Selections - Y/N is paired with Lee Minho for one of the co-ed rooms 204 on the thrid floor of the right wing of the building. Any complaints should be made before the first week of the dorms opening. Please feel free to do so before the given date."

you didnt know what to do, you didnt want to be stuck in a dorm with minho for year or longer. You started to go to the front desk but they wouldnt be able to do anything about it because its past the date to change dorms. "fuck it" you mutter out as you walk to the elevator.

as you walk to your dorm, you feel a chill down your spine. you havent seen minho in about a year, after having a arguement and physical fight with him at your best friend seungmins party. you left the party with scatch marks, a black eye, and a pounding headache. he left the party with a bite mark and a fractured nose. you still have the scratch marks from the fight. you have one on your right chest and one your ass.

you get to your room and open the door. there you see him. it takes everything in your system to not just pounce on him and hurt him how he hurt you. "what the fuck are you doing here?" he says. "this is my dorm asshole" "no this is MY dorm you bitch" "did you not get the notification that we were dormed together?" "dont talk to me"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the rest of the day was pretty quiet. neither of you wanted to interact given what happened last time you saw him. knowing that you havent eaten yet, you head out of your dorm to get something to eat from the drive-by close to campus.

when you come back, you realize that you dont have your key and that you locked yourself out. you knock on the door...no answer. you knock again...no answer. you knew that minho was up because you heard music faintly. you yell out minhos name, loud enough for him to hear but not lough enough to disturb your neighbors. he comes to the door, opens it, grabs you by your wrist and throws you to the floor behind him. "what the fuck was that for!" you exclaim out, holding the wrist that was harshly grabbed by minho. "you should be saying thank you, fucking ungrateful bitch." "why would i say thank you when you litteraly just grabbed me and threw me like i was trash." "probably because you are trash. you certainly look like it."

after saying that minho knew he srcrewed up. although you two hated each other,you two were best friends first, he knew you didnt really like your apperance the most so he made sure not to make any comments about that. you looked up at him like youve seen a ghost, with a tear falling down your eye and rushed into your room. "y/n" "dont talk to me you fucking scum bag" "im sorry, i didnt mean to say all of that" "i dont fucking care minho." you hear foot steps sounding further and further from your door.

authors note: the bad grammar, we dont talk about her

taglist: @torieisawesome99 @skzhyunnie @foryoonsully

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[yuri-for-businesswomen]

hi again, I’m the anon who asked if I can ramble.

first off I just want to say thank you, you are very kind to each person who’s in your inbox and you are so incredibly smart. I wish you all the best in the upcoming year.

so, I have this problem - I get infatuated my men very quickly, even if I see them just one time and don’t talk to them. I’ve been in radical feminism for over 2 years now and thankfully, this problem has become less of a headache for me now. I’m very thankful to radfem for it. but still, just when I think I’m finally free from my obsession with guys, it starts again, every half a year or so. In summer I was obsessing with this one barista, I even initiated a conversation with him and asked for his number. I was very conflicted, because with a sober head I understood, that I don’t even like him. but it as a time when my dog died, I was highly apathetic and emotional. and I just kept fantasising about him.

and this is the core of the problem for me, I just keep imagining various romantic scenarios with guys. it started when I was an early teen. and the thing is, I don’t want to think about all that. I can’t seem to stop. it feels out of my control, it exhausts and haunts me, because who am I if I can’t even control my own thoughts ?? I don’t want to be romantically involved with these guys, but my brain seems to demand me I get infatuated with them.

and I’m getting reminded of that again, because there is again this one guy. also, so I don’t forget to mention. most of the time, the guys I’m getting obsessed over are ugly. like, literally. I’m seeing it with my sober head. but when I enter this state I don’t seem to notice it. I understand it’s because it feels safer this way, “crushing” on a guy who’s uglier.

I also understand partially where’s the root of a problem hides. I had an abusive and neglectful father. plus societal expectations. plus all of these romance movies and tropes, which most girls consume from an early stage of childhood. but I also had an abusive mother. and I don’t get this sort of thing with women. (Im bisexual). around a month ago I was questioning my bisexuality very hard, since I get so little crushes on women. but then I feel hard for one. It felt so freeing. finally getting real butterflies because of a real feeling towards a woman. not I man whom I imagined in my head. the thing is, I can’t even say I’m crushing hard on men. It doesn’t seem like a crush, it seems like an obsession.

I can’t even talk about it with my friends, since it seems batshit insane. but for these couple of days I had almost non stop intrusive romantic thoughts and imaginary scenarios with this one guy. and Jesus Christ, I’ve seen him for the second time yesterday, and I felt nothing towards him. but when I got home, the thoughts resumed. so much so that I didn’t know where to put myself. I even searched up his socials and thought of various plans of getting to talk to him more. but I don’t want to!!!! what the actual hell. I really don’t know how to stop it. these thoughts really plague my mind and scares me very much.

thank you again if you read all of that. you are a wonderful person.

hello, are you me?! it has gotten a bit better with age but i still get these weird obsessions (obsessions, not crushes as you fittingly put it) and start daydreaming about them meeting my parents and us marrying (i want neither of these things?!). im bisexual too and its more with men than women, i think for similar reasons as you, neglectful parents and being raised by the tv which promotes these (hetero) romantic ideas. the daydreaming doesnt bother me that much but i hate that i have issues acting normal around those people and also focus on my looks more. does it also lead to bad decisions? because if it doesnt i wouldnt worry too much about it. daydreaming can be comfort. looking up someones socials or asking for a number is also not that bad albeit i deeply understand it starts to get to you when you cant turn it off and it feels almost compulsory (had this too, i have concocted and partly realised some weird shenanigans to get closer to my obsession). since i really relate to this i can imagine you like me have made dumb and regretful decisions because of this in the past as you already sketched out.

how old are you? because for me it has definitely gotten better with age and also with dating more. i always felt like i was „behind“ my peers when it comes to being romantically involved with people and the older i got the less worried i was. radical feminism helped a lot too to see that this doesnt make me any less valuable. sorry im talking a lot about myself here but i just relate a lot! overall i dont think the obsessions are much to worry about but with everything you have shared i would say there are probably some deeper issues you have to work through (no shade the same applies to me). have you ever been in therapy or considered going? that might be a good start. and honestly talk to your friends about it. its not that weird! i have a friend who rejoices in my obsession stories and it has helped me feel better about it.

i hope this was any help to you, youre more than welcome to drop into my inbox again or send me a direct message!

[gloogy]

I think the biggest changes HRT has done to me are making me feel like I actually have my own body and making my brain actually work again. Like, I went from feeling like "I am living in someone else's body ohgodohgodohgod" to "This is my body, its just really messed up right now and its slowly getting better". Like, I can actually connect myself to the body im living in now and thats a huge thing for me, Ive spent most of my cognizant life feeling like I was living someone in someone else's body!

The brainfog, dissociation, the constant headaches, the emotional emptiness have all disappeared. There was one weekend where I kept crying over and over, and I realized a few days later that I cried more and longer that weekend, than the entire 6-8 years I had the wrong hormones running through my body. It was well known in my family that I was a crier. I cried a LOT. But once I hit puberty and I started realizing it wasnt acceptable for me to cry? I stopped entirely. So to actually cry again feels incredibly cathartic and like ive regained a big part of me I lost. A lot of the constant emotional pain and distress has just melted away entirely.

Im not doing great. People around me will attest to that. But fuck me if Im not doing 100x better than before. Pre HRT I felt like killing myself every day and Id debate myself about it, about whether today would finally be the day that I set myself free from all the horrible shit I was feeling. Since starting, I haven't had any suicidal ideation at all. And that, is a blessing I wont ever forget

[spiked-mall-goth]

ummmmm guys. i have had a day let me tell you. super long diary like entry lol

i had to get up early to go see my papa and help him move some furniture, and although i was running on a total of 2 1/2 hours of sleep i was excited. he lives out in the city and its about an hour and a half drive but the highway is completely surrounded by trees so that was a fun ride. listened to lots of music and talked about barbies with my dad. we counted 21 total yard sales on the trip.

got home and ate lunch after unloading some beds. my papa wanted some old twin beds out of his house so we took them home. i have a new mattress now!! which hopefully means far less daily back pain!!

after lunch we decided to go to a few of the yard sales we passed by. and let me tell you i got a HAUL. i got a pair of really nice pajama pants that have little skulls on them, then at the next one they had SO MUCH STUFF!!! like guys.. i got a sweater for 25 cents.. GUYS. i got a little black sweater, a flowy black summer top, a fucking black velvet CAPELET, and the most gorgeous black 80s prom dress; although sadly it does not zip and needs alterations but its WORTH IT!!! it has really big poof sleeves and a massive flower sash omg guys its AWSOME. at the same place i also got a little fake ivy for my kitchen :D it desperately needed a little life, a big ass puzzle to work on with my brothers, and they had MOUNDS of vhs tapes... for FREE. soooo uh yeah. may or may not have come home with like twenty new tapes. oh yeah did i metion that i only paid like a total of six dollars so far?? i made out like a Bandit. final yard sale and the woman was like 'uhhhh $1.25.'. so for a $1.25 i got a peanuts drinking glass (i think from mcdonalds..), the entirety of firefly on dvd, and a ceramic angel. normally i do not go for religious imagery in my decor, but. it was like 102F.. i hadnt slept since my two hour night.. i was severely dehydrated.. heat exhaustion was setting in a little bit.. and i dunno, she just called to me. she reminded me of laura palmer.

okay, so i get home and unload all my of goodies, then i start cleaning my room. i have to disassemble my old bed frame and clean under my bed and shit. i already have a pounding headache at this point but i have schedule to keep. beds gotta be moved b4 tmrrw. so i am FIGHTING trying to get the frame apart, i'm all sweaty and gross and i finally get it!! :D i feel some stuff falling over behind me and b4 i can even look up i get whacked right upside my head loony tunes style with a huge metal beam :( i start feeling kinda funny and i vaguely remember talking to my brother who told me to lie down. i pass out cold and hard on the couch for about an hour. vague memories of seeing something in the room with me. not really important i just think you should know.

wake up to my brothers shaking me to make sure i havent DIED. i lived! yayyy!! ate dinner, and then it was time. i have been looking at this online auction for over a week now and it was ending in a matter of minutes. i did when some some stuff! i got the directors cut of JTHM, revenge of the filler rabbit, and some other comic which i cannot remember rn.. but anyways it was 5 bucks! and then i bought a snoopy wallet for a few dollars. although i did miss out on a clear phone.. so sad. but overall i had a very good shopping day today idk why. everything just like fell into my lap at affordable prices... like wow..

after the auction i still had not moved my new bend in (ya know.. bonk on da head) so i fight forever to get it put together. but yippeee!!! its al here! and i was given a new blanket to put on it which is very soft :3

anyways now im here after showing and watching x files for a bit.

if you read all of that.... wow. ily <3. i normally dont like to just like info dump about my irl daily stuff, but today was just so like action packed it was kinda bonkers. anyways i have to go to bed bc i have more stuff going on tmrrw.... and i honestly might just cancel them.. i am TIRED.

[selenicdreamer]

Here’s to dreaming

A Feysand one shot that I just thought of and couldn’t help myself. Im not a good writer and English isn’t my native language so pls dont hate me:) enjoy

Possibly will have errors, didnt edit plus its like 1am

I got carried away, this is kinda long:3 sorryxx

She heard it again, the soft and slow melody across her apartement wall.

She’d never admit it to herself but every morning she woke up she would long for the sun to set, for the light to go out of the sky to make way for the night. For that time alone in the studio of her apartment just to paint, away from the rush of the day, the buzz of the crowd and the headache of what her life has been. Her mind would drift to the empty canvas ahead and just paint, create. Though after her break up with her ex, her trouble with her family and all her financial issues, she found herself just sitting across the white surface staring for hours and hours before just leaving it as it was and calling it a day. Some days she would hold the brush and stare at it for hours before placing it back in its case, others she would just cry and cry and throw things in frustration. She couldn’t paint. So after a couple of months she gave up, she would just sit on her stool, hold her brush so tightly she would pierce her own skin with her fingernails and stare. She was so lost in the fog of her own mind that when the music started playing the first time she nearly toppled over her stool and dropped her paintbrush to the floor. The piano chords and notes were drifting silently through her walls, almost melancholically she noticed. She stayed there and listened for hours, silently piercing the wall with her gaze as if she could strip the paint and brick apart to make the music louder. When it stopped she just sat down by the stool and cried, she cried so much she never had before. Why? She didn’t know.

The following day she walked in, fuzzy socks against the wooden floor and sat again in her stool. She waited, five minutes, ten, thirty. There it was, the melancholic piano and the feelings it awoke in her. She wanted to paint, she wanted to capture what it was she thought the person was trying to say with their music. She took a deep breath and just started, slowly with shaky hands, a night sky full of stars and a white piano in a flowery patio being played by almost invisible hands. That was it, her first painting in months. As she finished she couldn’t help the small smile that reached her face, she’s done it, took her more than a week but she’s done it! After months of pain and endless tiredness she finally did something she was proud of, thanks to the piano stranger.As she let the paint to dry and took this time to get a refreshment her mind couldn’t help but hover over the stranger that played such beautiful music it made her feel alive again. That night she dreamed of the music

“I’m telling you, I can’t go do this without you for real, It’s like torture” Mor protested dramatically while leaning on Feyre’s kitchen counter, her golden locks tied securely behind her ears and her coffee in hand as she stared at her with despair Feyre almost laughed,

“And I’m telling you I can’t go back to the same yoga place my ex boyfriend and the instructor fucked in, Feyre cringed, I can’t even begin to think of the look in her face without wanting to bury myself from embarrassment and resentment” she groaned as she kept her focus on the laptop ahead of her, she had to finish that work project sooner than later and she wanted to be free for her special time.

“Do you think I’m some sort of monster?” Her new friend blinked as if offended, “I only meant we should find a new place together, Im not going there again without you! I just did today to rub in their face how much better off you are and to cancel our subscription” Feyre huffed and rolled her eyes, Mor for the little Feyre knew her, was a drama queen, a really good friend but a drama queen. Still being so lonely she was more than grateful to have her in her life. That Yoga place did cause her break up since she found Tamlin, her ex, and her teacher hooking up on a yoga mat but Its not all that bad since it brought Mor and her together.

“By the way where did I leave my jacket the other day? Em has been asking for it since I stole it from her” Mor looked around,her face slightly blushing at the mention of her girlfriend and Feyre hid the icing bitterness at the back of herthroat, bitterness for her pathetic life, never her friend. “Uh check in my bedroom, probably left it while we were trying on clothes” she said but failed to notice that Mor walked in her painting studio before she heard her gasp and her name coming out from her mouth. She immediately stood up and run towards her her fingers rubbing on her temple trying to find a way to kick her out without looking like an idiot.

“Feyre this… you’re incredibly talented” Mor’s eyes were as wide as ever as she kept staring at all her paintings slowly then stopped at her most recent one, her small gasp nearly audible to her.

“Please, it’s just barely sketching, let’s not talk about it” she hurriedly said moving her arms and hinting towards the door,

“Could I buy this one?” Feyre’s heart dropped to her feet she had to look down to make sure it was there,

“What?” She found herself ask,

“Could I buy this one?” Mor repeated her eyes locked to her painting of her neighbour, “my cousin is going to love it, he told me he recently moved so this will be the perfect housewarming gift. I haven’t even seen the place yet” she turned to look at her, her eyes pleading,

Feyre kept staring at her and the painting trying to decide, this was a huge chance for her, her career and she didn’t want to say no to her friend. Though insecurity kept eating her mind what if he hates it and then Mor hates her and-

“Oh please Feyre! He loves playing music he is going to fall in love with this” Feyre then just nodded barely and gulped chuckling when Mor hugged her suddenly, her words just flooting over her head as she wrapped the painting for her, receiving way too much money that Mor insisted on handing her for it before she left.

In the following days Feyre’s mind was still so cluttered she couldn’t finish her project until the last minute,she didn’t even have time to paint for a week so when Sunday came around she hopped into her painting room and patiently waited for the music.

She waiting for so long that she thought she was going insane with boredom, the only thing she could hear was footsteps, heels and she could swear she could hear Mor’s laugh. Deciding she was insane she got up to get ready for bed, disappointed with how her night turned out but just as she was ready to change into pyjamas she heard a frantic knock at her door. Blinking she looked at the wall clock of her bedroom, 12:00am

“Yes?” She said cautiously

“Feyre! Open the door! You won’t believe this!” Mor’s voice rung in her ears, surprised she obeyed and saw her grinning face in a flash before she was grabbing her wrist and leading her out of her apartement and to the left hall,

“Uh Mor, would you kindly please inform me of the reason you’re kidnapping me at 12 in the morning?” She asked confused as they stopped to the apartement next to hers, Mor just banged on the door rudely which Feyre thought was insane until the door opened and her mind went blank,

Right in front of her was the most handsome man she’s ever seen, tall with broad shoulders, silk black hair and eyes such a dark blue she thought could pass as purple. His bronze skin dressed in all black shirt and trousers, his smirk making him utterly and completely devastating to look at. His eyes were so fiercely gazing at her she forgot how to speak, breathe or think

“This is my friend Feyre I’ve been telling you about! She is the one who painted this! Plus she literally lives right next to you!” Mor laughed shaking her head, “that stuff literally is impossible to happen.” She walked in like she belonged right in, which to be fair she did, and kept talking and talking but Feyre and her cousin just stayed at the doorway looking at each other, then his smirk turned into a smile “Feyre,” she shivered, his voice could only be described as the midnight sky, “I am glad to find out I have such interesting and art inclined neighbours” he all but purred before extending his hand to her, “Rhysand, please call me Rhys” Rhys Rhys Rhys

“Nice to meet you Rhys” she shakes his hand trying to hide her anxious state, “come in Feyre darling” she slowly walked in trying not to pass out looking around his apartment, it was the same as hers, a living room connecting with a small kitchen and three closed doors, two to the left one to the right and a huge window up ahead.

“Nice place, I like your decoration” she says softly standing next to Mor,

“Thank you, I think more paintings are due if you’d like to bless me with some” he grins leaning back against the wall

“Shoot, I have to go, Mor stands up hurriedly checking on her phone, Em needs me to pick her up from the library, catch you guys later” she kisses Feyre’s cheek before she storms off and Feyre is left awkwardly standing in a stranger’s house, handsome stranger but stranger nonetheless. She looks at him and he has a curious look on his handsome face, Feyre clears her throat. “Well I should be on my way, nice to meet you Rhysand” she said politely before walking towards the door,

“Wouldn’t you like to see where I put your painting Feyre?” He asks soflty, velvetly looking at her, not waiting for an answer before he starts walking towards one of the doors to the left smirking at her before he walks in, curiously she follows and as he turns off the small lights by the door Feyre’s eyes widen gazing at a huge piano in the centre of an otherwise empty room, safe for the painting on the left wall, the wall she realizes that connects their apartments, Rhys is the piano guy, Rhys Mor’s cousin is the piano guy, Rhys who lives next door is Mor’s cousin and is the piano guy, Rhys who now has her painting of the piano guy that is Rhys who is Mor’s cousin and lives right next door- her mind is spiriling down a hill of panic and she’s just standing there staring at the piano trying not to bolt out the room,

“Do you like music Feyre?” He softly asks as he glances at her before taking a seat, opening the lid and his hands trace slowly and softly at the keys, she thinks she can’t breathe when he starts playing, the same slow yet full of life melody she heard the first day, that very first song that made her heart beat with purpose again, with a longing for life. She swallowed the sob that nearly broke through her and she nodded realizing he isn’t looking at the keys but at her, “I love music yes especially this piece, did you write it?” She asks looking at his hands, trying to stay focused, he grins his eyes sparkling

“Yes, yes I did, how does it make you feel?” He asks curiously looking at her as he keeps playing, skilled enough to not needing to look over

“Alive” she whispers not able to take her eyes off of him as he stands up and walks to her, his hand now as gently as before lifting her chin up so their eyes meet,

“Alive” he agrees before bowing down to graze his lips against hers, their eyes closing as they connect and the world falls into place, her hands moving to touch his shoulders, his to cup her cheeks and Feyre was sure she could still hear the music as he smiled against her lips.

“Here’s to living” he whispers grinning

“Here’s to dreaming” she replies before kissing him again.

[bubblegumknuckles]

I don't mean to overstep so feel free to ignore this ask but do you really have narcolepsy. Could you tell me more about narcolepsy and how it affects you?

From and ignoramus anon

Hi you arent over stepping, no worries. Sorry for the delay, I have a hard time answering back anybody, and ive been sleeping a ton.

So, when I wrote that I had Narcolepsy in my bio, it was a few months ago & for different health reasons I wasnt able to get the final results of my final sleep study test (4th one.) Narcolepsy was what was most likely, especially since my primary doctor said her mom has narcolepsy & I wasnt even taking about sleeping problems to her, but fatigue was mentioned because I was explaining my symptoms that point towards a few autoimmune disorders….and she asked a few questions & said I sounded exactly like her mom who has Narcolepsy & it took her like 20 years to get diagnosed…. At first i was like nahhhh because the only knowledge I had of it was from tv. She gave me a referral to a sleep doctor but I ignored it for a few months, before doing research because my sleep keeps getting worse.

Then actually going, they dont really believe you at first. Insurance also makes you jump through hoops & i had to wait months each time, &the day of a sleep study, my insurance would finally say Not approved…so id have to reschedule. Its been a huge headache and hassle. I had to prove to the doctor and insurance basically how i dont have sleep apnea or restless leg syndrome or anything else before they will consider Narcolepsy. and even then the test for Narcolepsy is so difficult to pass, if you fail else, then they will diagnose you as Idiopathic Hypersomnia meaning they dont know whats wrong with you. but something is off. thats the official diagnosis, but Narcolepsy and IH are both treated very similar. Oh and theres two types of Narcolepsy, one being the more known one with cataplexy (like fainting and dropping out of nowhere at all times sleeping) & there is N2 that is basically without cataplexy (I dont drop out of nowhere and sleep)

So yeah, the results that finally came out said on some of my naps I fell asleep in 9 minutes & basically the criteria for narcolepsy is so strict it has to be under 8 minutes. i was like….thats pretty close. But nah they wanna use math and average it out and blah blah I dont qualify as technically narcolepy. I got diagnosed with Idiopathic Hypersomnia instead. I would be more irritated but at least its treated similar or the same. It was noted i have 0% sleep apnea & he said it is very strange that for an adult, I sleep so deeply, like I hit the deepest parts of sleep that usually just babies and children get to. Soooo I tried to get him to think on that….like bro im telling you I sleep that deeply and that much AND still have to continue napping thru the day. I sleep so much. Its impacting my life. And its weirdly gotten worse over the pandemic, altho I have always been like this.

Um sorry Idk if that answered your question bc I wouldve gotten more specific how narcolepsy affects me n stuff. But since I just finally got the official diagnosis of IH instead & its technically not Narcolepsy, i didnt know if u wanted to know more. In my every day life, im probably going to still call it Narcolepsy tbh bc thats what people know a little more about. Theyll be like “oh she really does have a sleeping disorder” does that make sense?

Anyway you can ask more questions if you want:)

[bookwyrminspiration]

You are like a book character thats just. Yeah what did i expect from a name like that bnfjfjfjf

Yo on the reading tho!?? I feel the revitalized pjo interest im staring at my pjo books like. Soon soon i will get to u (THO IM MISSING A FEW OF THEM AND I DONT KNOW WHERE THEYVE GONE. THEYVE BEEN STOLEN I SWEAR) i actually have been trying to read actual books again and!!! I finished one finally!!! Only took me like a month bmgkfkfk i finished call down the hawk and my local library is ab to murder me for how long ive had it-

Dude okay so i work at a movie theater right and ive wanted to see boy and the heron so badly ive just been so busy im staring at it and like ten other movies like pls i need free time. Other than that i got baldurs gate 3 and have been wandering through a world download for a minecraft series i like. And im once again cursed by my inability to finish fics so my solution is write all of it then post and now i have like two 15k wips just sitting in my notes app ive been trying to finish for like two years T-T

I've read so many books I've started to become them, and honestly? There are worst fates. I think I'd make a good like...wise character. Like the one the main character goes to when they have a question and I pull on information I don't explain how I got and set them on their quest or something. Or they discover a cursed magic item and they're like, well Quil probably knows something useful. And then I do.

Anyway! Congrats on the reading! I actually did so much reading, writing, and drawing the past week that I gave myself a headache three days in a row. Like I legit had to just sit for an hour yesterday doing nothing. I've been meaning to read Call Down the Hawk since it came out--I actually started it back then, but for some reason I only got to the part right after the crabs(?) in the dorm where Ronan gets kicked out, and then cries(?) in the garden(?). But I fully intend to return to it, I love the world of trc. And Ronan's my favorite. so.

and the pjo thing!! i've been blasting through them at the rate of about one a day just like oh my god I forgot how much I loved these. the writing style is just so fun. currently half-way through mark of athena, but I had to stop because I do this thing every year where the first book I read is a twilight book for shits and giggles, so I gotta finish life and death before I go back to it (i'm already about 3/4ths of the way done so not a huge detour).

Oh right the boy and the heron! I forgot I mentioned that--I saw it yesterday! I'll admit it did contribute to my headache, because big bright screen in a dark room is...not great. my laptop gives me headaches sometimes, but anyway. I don't think it's my favorite ghibli film, but it had a draw to it. it's quite beautiful, and it's thought provoking in its way. very ghibli-esque.

bg3!! I haven't played myself (doesn't seem my kind of game), but I will admit I did have a few moments of just being enraptured by astarion. which is so cliche of me, but what can I say? his dialogue was funny.

good luck with all of your fics though--I've got a handful that are just waiting to be edited before I post them. but the wings au and then gift exchanges took precedent, so they've been sitting a while. but! those are over now! so I plan to edit and finally post them soon. I've also got this kotlc book 1 but from fitz's pov project in the works I'm very excited to return to :)

anyway, it is very nice to hear from you tater!! giving you the biggest high five rn o7 spicy gatorade or something

[tears-of-boredom]

see, its not just the fact that waking up and meals are on a schedule. its the fact that I've been awake from 3am, waiting for breakfast to start. if i asked real nicely, i probably could make myself bread or something. but im not supposed to. what im supposed to do, is somehow stop myself from waking up too early, and then eat breakfast at the appointed time. like. this is exactly why the routine i "learned" never carries over when I stay at home. because im finally fucking free to do what i want. also is this a silly emoticon <|3{ its a wizard with a mustache. or is it spelled moustache. i forgot. anyway yeah so i have a horrible headache from hunger and lack of sleep. and I fucking hate the fact that society is not going to change fast enough for me to be allowed to keep my sleep schedule natural. im going to have to force it. or kill myself. tbh I hate the fact that summer break is the long one, because if it was winter break, id do much better. like literally, its a nice sentiment to let kids enjoy the summer, but logistically it does not work at all. like it definetly should be in winter, because it gets so dark that your sleep schedule gets messed up. like id so so much better if school was in summer, cuz thats when my sleep schedule really matches what school needs. and actually the transition seasons too. winter is like the one thing that makes my sleep schedule be whatever the school doesnt like. and its so stupid that im expected to just suck it up. its so stupid that everyone is expected to suck it up. to put up with everything they hate about life. if I asked adults why my sleep schedule has to be the way it is, theyd just say "because thats how the world is". and that is so fucking frustrating. just becauae the world is a certain way, doesnt mean it should be like that. it doesnt mean its right. and it does not mean that its an unchanging fact. like I know that im mentally ill. but that does not mean that every single problem i have is related to that. i would like it if all of my problems were met with equal consideration. instead of just dismissing some completely and telling me to suck it up. for some reason its not a surprise at all if i need medication to fall asleep, and its not really a problem if I have to continue to take it because my body never learns to fall asleep when im supposed to. but if I cant wake up when im supposed to? that is entirely my own problem. i need to force myself to wake up at the right time. you know how you are famously concious when youre asleep, and can decide when to wake up? yeah do that. and if keeping up this forceful sleeping schedule is exhausting you and giving you horrible day time fatigue? well suck it up. maybe try excercise. are you eating well? its that darn phone youre always on. you just have to get used to it. it'll become a habit in 5 years and then itll be much easier don't worry. yeah winter does that to you. dont worry, winter is famously a really short time in finland. do you take vitamins? whens the last time you had your iron levels checked?

its always about making my life conform, and never about finding ways to make it more parallel to the rest of the world. you could take daytime naps? but then you cant sleep at night, which is a huge crime and means that something is wrong with you.

why did I agree to this. my depression is going to flare up so fucking quickly.

[trashbins-stuff]

I'm a mother with metastatic (stage ll) breast cancer with a 10-month-old daughter who was born with cerebral palsy.that my life has been in recent years, thank you for coming this far and giving me all your support, for those who do not know the hard battle I face and for which I try to reach their hearts. . . . . In search of support I briefly tell you my situation.

My name is maua, 5 years ago I was driving to meet my best friend, suddenly my vision was double, my vision was going in and out, I remember pulling into a parking lot, I just thought to call someone, but I couldn't dial from my phone , I lost consciousness, when I woke up I couldn't coordinate or make rational decisions, I woke up repeating over and over again that I had to go home, by then I thought I had the flu with a very bad headache, the doctors came and one of They told me that I had bronchitis and sinusitis, a month later the symptoms had not disappeared, by then I had already gone to the specialist for the third time. After much concern, finally a doctor ordered a chest x-ray because the x-rays showed that I had a pleural effusion in my right lung, other doctors objected saying that it was not necessary, days later while I was taking a shower I found a lump in my breast, after rigorous examinations they ended up diagnosing me with metastatic breast cancer. I then had chemotherapy and a bilateral mastectomy (removal of both breasts), reconstructive surgery, and implant placement.

Harvesting or freezing my eggs before the chemo was not an option, they said that there was a high probability that the chemo would affect my fertility, this shattered my illusions because I really dreamed of being a mother. After the surgery I was considered cancer free, 4 years later I got pregnant, in February 2022 I gave birth to my little Elly, the delivery was complicated, my pregnancy was traumatic due to my history of cancer, my little love of 3 pounds and 6 ounces was born 10 weeks early. Elly was born with cerebral palsy, during the pregnancy I had several threats of abortion, by the mercy of God my baby grabbed my uterus tightly, she cannot breastfeed her, but I am content with having her on my chest and giving her warmth and protection as much as I can, Its care is special, it requires rigorous treatments and it is not cheap. I always refused to ask for help with my cancer, but seeing my baby so delicate and defenseless I understood that I need everyone, these are difficult times, we have a very hard road ahead of us at home, my daughter needs all the help possible.

I lived a life in remission for almost 5 years before developing a bad cough during flu season, a few months after giving birth I felt like everything was wrong, made several doctor visits, had a chest X-ray due to my history , they found fluid in my lungs, after draining and analyzing it, it was evidenced that there were breast cancer cells, after more cancer tests it was found not only in my lungs, but in my liver and bones, at the age of 33 I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer (stage Il) a few years later I found out that the cancer had invaded my brain as well.

However, today I am stable and most of the cancer is gone, but I am still on continuous treatment that I am not allowed to stop. Since my cancer was found I have had 57 chemo infusions, 10 IM injections, countless Il/port sticks, too many pills to count, 1 pleurx drain to my lung, 4 JP drains, x2 thoracentesis, 9 surgeries, 2 interventional radiology procedures , 1 biopsy, 1 mammogram, 2 x-rays, 2 ultrasounds, 6 hospitalizations, plus ED visits, 17 CT scans, 3 CT scans, 20 MRIs, 2 bone scans, palliative radiation, 1 seizure, 7 gamma knife treatments, 1 craniotomy , 8 doctors/surgeons, countless amazing nurses, NPs PAs, lots of scars, and thousands of dollars in medical bills and counting. However, I am here with a beautiful gift from God in my arms, this can only be called a miracle, God wants me here and I must fight for it and my little girl needs me.

please help me with anything you want to help me

im not able to donate but i will share, i hope your get the money you need, you went through alot :(

[theloonatic]

I'm a mother with metastatic (stage ll) breast cancer with a 10-month-old daughter who was born with cerebral palsy.that my life has been in recent years, thank you for coming this far and giving me all your support, for those who do not know the hard battle I face and for which I try to reach their hearts. . . . . In search of support I briefly tell you my situation.

My name is maua, 5 years ago I was driving to meet my best friend, suddenly my vision was double, my vision was going in and out, I remember pulling into a parking lot, I just thought to call someone, but I couldn't dial from my phone , I lost consciousness, when I woke up I couldn't coordinate or make rational decisions, I woke up repeating over and over again that I had to go home, by then I thought I had the flu with a very bad headache, the doctors came and one of They told me that I had bronchitis and sinusitis, a month later the symptoms had not disappeared, by then I had already gone to the specialist for the third time. After much concern, finally a doctor ordered a chest x-ray because the x-rays showed that I had a pleural effusion in my right lung, other doctors objected saying that it was not necessary, days later while I was taking a shower I found a lump in my breast, after rigorous examinations they ended up diagnosing me with metastatic breast cancer. I then had chemotherapy and a bilateral mastectomy (removal of both breasts), reconstructive surgery, and implant placement.

Harvesting or freezing my eggs before the chemo was not an option, they said that there was a high probability that the chemo would affect my fertility, this shattered my illusions because I really dreamed of being a mother. After the surgery I was considered cancer free, 4 years later I got pregnant, in February 2022 I gave birth to my little Elly, the delivery was complicated, my pregnancy was traumatic due to my history of cancer, my little love of 3 pounds and 6 ounces was born 10 weeks early. Elly was born with cerebral palsy, during the pregnancy I had several threats of abortion, by the mercy of God my baby grabbed my uterus tightly, she cannot breastfeed her, but I am content with having her on my chest and giving her warmth and protection as much as I can, Its care is special, it requires rigorous treatments and it is not cheap. I always refused to ask for help with my cancer, but seeing my baby so delicate and defenseless I understood that I need everyone, these are difficult times, we have a very hard road ahead of us at home, my daughter needs all the help possible.

I lived a life in remission for almost 5 years before developing a bad cough during flu season, a few months after giving birth I felt like everything was wrong, made several doctor visits, had a chest X-ray due to my history , they found fluid in my lungs, after draining and analyzing it, it was evidenced that there were breast cancer cells, after more cancer tests it was found not only in my lungs, but in my liver and bones, at the age of 33 I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer (stage Il) a few years later I found out that the cancer had invaded my brain as well.

However, today I am stable and most of the cancer is gone, but I am still on continuous treatment that I am not allowed to stop. Since my cancer was found I have had 57 chemo infusions, 10 IM injections, countless Il/port sticks, too many pills to count, 1 pleurx drain to my lung, 4 JP drains, x2 thoracentesis, 9 surgeries, 2 interventional radiology procedures , 1 biopsy, 1 mammogram, 2 x-rays, 2 ultrasounds, 6 hospitalizations, plus ED visits, 17 CT scans, 3 CT scans, 20 MRIs, 2 bone scans, palliative radiation, 1 seizure, 7 gamma knife treatments, 1 craniotomy , 8 doctors/surgeons, countless amazing nurses, NPs PAs, lots of scars, and thousands of dollars in medical bills and counting. However, I am here with a beautiful gift from God in my arms, this can only be called a miracle, God wants me here and I must fight for it and my little girl needs me.

please help me with anything you want to help me

💙

[mrskayathefrog]

I'm a mother with metastatic (stage ll) breast cancer with a 10-month-old daughter who was born with cerebral palsy.that my life has been in recent years, thank you for coming this far and giving me all your support, for those who do not know the hard battle I face and for which I try to reach their hearts. . . . . In search of support I briefly tell you my situation.

My name is rebecca, 5 years ago I was driving to meet my best friend, suddenly my vision was double, my vision was going in and out, I remember pulling into a parking lot, I just thought to call someone, but I couldn't dial from my phone , I lost consciousness, when I woke up I couldn't coordinate or make rational decisions, I woke up repeating over and over again that I had to go home, by then I thought I had the flu with a very bad headache, the doctors came and one of They told me that I had bronchitis and sinusitis, a month later the symptoms had not disappeared, by then I had already gone to the specialist for the third time. After much concern, finally a doctor ordered a chest x-ray because the x-rays showed that I had a pleural effusion in my right lung, other doctors objected saying that it was not necessary, days later while I was taking a shower I found a lump in my breast, after rigorous examinations they ended up diagnosing me with metastatic breast cancer. I then had chemotherapy and a bilateral mastectomy (removal of both breasts), reconstructive surgery, and implant placement.

Harvesting or freezing my eggs before the chemo was not an option, they said that there was a high probability that the chemo would affect my fertility, this shattered my illusions because I really dreamed of being a mother. After the surgery I was considered cancer free, 4 years later I got pregnant, in February 2022 I gave birth to my little Elly, the delivery was complicated, my pregnancy was traumatic due to my history of cancer, my little love of 3 pounds and 6 ounces was born 10 weeks early. Elly was born with cerebral palsy, during the pregnancy I had several threats of abortion, by the mercy of God my baby grabbed my uterus tightly, she cannot breastfeed her, but I am content with having her on my chest and giving her warmth and protection as much as I can, Its care is special, it requires rigorous treatments and it is not cheap. I always refused to ask for help with my cancer, but seeing my baby so delicate and defenseless I understood that I need everyone, these are difficult times, we have a very hard road ahead of us at home, my daughter needs all the help possible.

I lived a life in remission for almost 5 years before developing a bad cough during flu season, a few months after giving birth I felt like everything was wrong, made several doctor visits, had a chest X-ray due to my history , they found fluid in my lungs, after draining and analyzing it, it was evidenced that there were breast cancer cells, after more cancer tests it was found not only in my lungs, but in my liver and bones, at the age of 33 I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer (stage Il) a few years later I found out that the cancer had invaded my brain as well.

However, today I am stable and most of the cancer is gone, but I am still on continuous treatment that I am not allowed to stop. Since my cancer was found I have had 57 chemo infusions, 10 IM injections, countless Il/port sticks, too many pills to count, 1 pleurx drain to my lung, 4 JP drains, x2 thoracentesis, 9 surgeries, 2 interventional radiology procedures , 1 biopsy, 1 mammogram, 2 x-rays, 2 ultrasounds, 6 hospitalizations, plus ED visits, 17 CT scans, 3 CT scans, 20 MRIs, 2 bone scans, palliative radiation, 1 seizure, 7 gamma knife treatments, 1 craniotomy , 8 doctors/surgeons, countless amazing nurses, NPs PAs, lots of scars, and thousands of dollars in medical bills and counting. However, I am here with a beautiful gift from God in my arms, this can only be called a miracle, God wants me here and I must fight for it and my little girl needs me.

please help me with anything you want to help me

donate via PayPal is all I have

funniest scam I ever read

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

hi, sorry if im sending too many requests, ofc feel free to decline if im requesting too much :), can i req mothman with reader that has a very terrible week? i seriously hate this week so much ihate everything about it ☹️☹️. your fics are honestly the only thing thats giving me comfort so im so sorry if this is too much! have a nice day -💌 (thank you in advance by the way <3)

forgive me for taking so long!!! i combined these requests because they're decently similar, so have ye some soft moth comfort!!

~ * ~ Always and Forever

Synopsis: In a week, you feel like you're falling apart, but soft, strong arms are here to hold you steady.

Foul Legacy Childe x Reader Pronouns: Gender Neutral (no pronouns mentioned) Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Comfort Warnings: Mentions of headaches, depressive thoughts and feelings, attempting to push down emotions, crying

~ * ~ The sun is too bright today. What normally you’d consider warm and comforting is blinding, a nuisance. Maybe it’s due to the cloudless sky, a rich blue color without a single hint of a breeze in the air, the heat rising from the Harbor’s cobblestones almost suffocating. Or perhaps it’s the way the light shines just so, at the exact angle to flash directly into your already-aching eyes. Or maybe, it’s because everything is wrong, going wrong, being wrong. Not just today- the whole week; maybe even longer, but your fuzzy brain can’t remember or doesn’t want to remember. You blink, squinting past the harsh light and down the road so you can find your way home, your brain too foggy to think coherently. Home… The only place you want to be right now. But it’s so far away, the road seemingly stretching on forever. The path up the Harbor seems infinite in a way that you hate, throat thick and dry- too much noise; too much light; too many people all talking, talking, talking so rapid and loud, and your head stings from the sound and the heat. It’s only with considerable effort that you’re able to put one foot in front of the other, going one step at a time, each one heavy on your already-slouched form. When you finally arrive and kick off your shoes, bags tossed aside and coat hanging by a thread, you amble over to and collapse on your couch, burying your face in a pillow. With a strangled groan your fingers dig into the soft fabric of the cushions, letting out the breath you’ve been holding all day and letting your lips slip into a frown. The frustrations and annoyances from days of work and exhaustion give way to emptiness, a cold, hollow feeling that pools and settles in your chest and stomach akin to the way rampant thoughts begin to fill your head. Why can’t anything go the way it’s supposed to? Why is the world determined to make everything fall apart? Why can’t you do anything right? The sound of footsteps makes its way downstairs, eagerly tapping on the hardwood until it reaches the bottom and freezes at the sight of you. There’s a soft whine of concern and the footsteps resume, slower this time, before they stop and you feel talons brushing against your shoulder. Removing the pillow from your face, you come face-to-face with a fretful Childe, worry shining in his cerulean eye and clawed hands wrapped around your smaller ones. You simply turn away and silently shake your head, willing yourself not to burst out crying, and Childe whimpers quietly, gently brushing your soft hair away from your face. You hear Childe stand and walk away, and you’re mourning the loss of his claws pressed against your cheek when someone much larger climbs onto the couch and carefully settles on top of you, warm and soft, and when you open your eyes Childe is looking up at you, cheek pressed against your chest. He’s like a living blanket, one that purrs and coos and snuggles against you, and a watery smile spreads across your face. Childe nudges insistently at your limp hands, and with a small laugh you begin petting his gingery hair, stroking the soft locks and playing with the streak of white amongst the copper, and he rumbles back, pushing into your palms and resting his claws on your arm so you don’t pull away. Your hands slide from his hair to his face, and he cranes his head upwards so you’ll run your fingers under his chin and along his neck, where you can feel the purrs strongest. His wings flutter lazily when he hums, gently batting against the couch cushions as you cup Childe’s face with a hand, the weight of him leaning into your touch heavy but not crushingly so. He’s looking at you now, loving and fond, gaze filled with affection. The sensation of being carefully squished has calmed your frazzled nerves somewhat, and you’re able to look back at him calmly, trying to say that you’ll be alright. Childe whines- he knows that look. It’s the look you give people when you want to drift away, tell them that you’re just fine while you suffer, alone and scared. The look you have when you don’t want to bother anyone, not with your “stupid problems”. Childe knows that feeling, the desire to be strong in the face of hardship and smile when dawn turns to night. He knows the need to protect, to shield others from their sadness and lock your own away, where it’s never to be seen. He’s been alone and scared before, and perhaps every day he lived was done with a smile masking inner turmoil, before he met you and you pulled him from darkness into soft, glowing light. And now you’re the one drenched in sadness, your heart and soul gray and unmoving, and Childe wants nothing more than to help but he knows you won’t tell him, since he “shouldn’t have to deal with your silly issues”. Can’t you see that he wants to deal with them, with every part of you, good and bad? But he doesn’t ask- not today, at least- with the week you’ve been having it’d only make you panicked and more upset, so instead Childe simply presses his forehead against yours, letting soothing purrs rumble from deep within his chest, and you exhale slowly, feeling your muscles unclench and the icy knot of emotion relax. He nudges you slightly, turning you onto your side so he can lay precariously beside you, pulling you into his chest with a tight hug. You worry, for a moment- won’t he fall off? But Childe simply trills and happily rubs his cheek against your hair, shooing your worries away faster than you can protest and flicking one of his feather-light wings atop you. Your brain feels foggy again, in a soft, sleepy kind of way, but you catch Childe’s arm and tug, suddenly nervous. “Be here when I wake up?” You look so desperate, and Childe’s heart nearly breaks. With a croon, he leans closer and gently licks your cheek; once, twice, and his version of a kiss. Always. Always and forever.

[poutyniall]

okay okay hear me out

imagine yoongi working on a new album right, we can all imagine the scenario... he's frustrated and sleep deprived, tired maybe even a little whiny and cranky..

so y/n being y/n, comes to rescue with kisses which turn into a steamy makeout, and then slow sex which turns into aggressive and needy fucking out of all his frustrations

im not as good as u in writing so could you pls write something based on this its perfectly okay if you dont

Hi love, first thing first I'm sincerely sorry you had to wait this long. Second I'm not that good and I also changed it a bit, I think, so I just hope I'm not disappointing you on this one.

''Hi.'' you barely whisper as you lean down to rest your chin on the top of his head and gently wrap your arms around his neck, letting them hanging from his shoulders. It's not the most comfortable position for you considering the huge chair between your bodies but you don’t care. You can sense all his frustration, anxiety, tiredness and tension from his breathing only. And by the amount of empty coffee cups you see scattered all over the place you know he hadn't get a reasonable amount of sleep in way too long for your liking and he most likely has a headache. He only grunts at your greeting, without even bothering to take his eyes off the screen. ''Why don't you take a little break, love?'' you tilt your head a bit to place a soft peck on his hair. He grunts again and you roll your eyes, reminding yourself he's sleep deprived and worn out, nothing personal. After taking a deep breath you stand straight and put your hands on top of the back of the chair to turn it around so you can finally face him. He looks exhausted, dark circles under his eyes standing out on his pale skin. You know it's his job, his life, the goddamn air he breath but you hate when he overwork himself to the point he almost gets sick. He's looking back at you but his eyes seem not able to focus you due to all the time he spent staring at screens. You sigh, letting your hands slowly slide down his arms to grab his hands and pull him, guiding him to the couch and gently pushing him down to let him sit. When you straddle him he starts complaining he doesn't have time to waste.

''Shh, I just want help you relax a bit.'' you murmur on his skin before starting leaving tiny, soft kisses starting from his temple to his jawline and all along the thin, sensitive skin of his neck. At the beginning he keeps whining, hands on your hips trying, but not really trying, to push you away but he goes quieter kiss after kiss and you feel his tense muscles relaxing underneath your touch. When you feel his hands squeezing your hips and pushing you down on him, you know you have him. Sucking and nibbling on his skin you hear him hissing and feel him shiver as you find your way down his shirt covered torso, leaving a path of wet spots. God, you missed him, you missed his body, his moans, his skin on yours, his body, hands and mouth on and inside you, a rush of wetness makes you squeeze your thighs together at the mere thought. You're now kneeling on the floor between his spread legs, hands reaching for the hem of his sweatpants and you feel your mouth water but you look up at him, silently asking him consent. He nods lightly, chest raising and falling to the rhythm of his heavy breathing. You keep your eyes on his, a smug grin printed on your lips, whilst you push down his sweatpants just enough to put on display his still covered boner. He gasps when your hand brushes against it. Liking your lips, you lean down and place an open mouth kiss on his clothed tip to then trace the entire length with your tongue, up to his belly button. His belly gets sucked in when he inhales sharply. You look up at him and what a fucking view: bottom lip tucked in between his teeth, rosy cheeks, ruffled hair and glossy eyes. You finally free his dick from his fabric constriction and gently tap a fingertip on his tiny slit, collecting that single drop of precum to then ever so softly slide your lubricated fingertip along the prominent vein, from the tip to the base. Without warning him you wrap your mouth round his dick, taking as much of it as you can, enjoying the look of surprise and pleasure on Yoongi face.

''Fffffffuc...'' he curses, clenching his fists and throwing his head back, and lets out a drawn out moan. You bob up and down teasingly, constantly switching pace, your panties completely soaked by now. He looks down on you and catches the exact moment you slip a hand in your panties to brush your fingers on your clit and give yourself a bit of relief.

''Baby...'' he pants, and you feel one of his hand slip through your hair ''kitten wait... I don't wan...'' words die in his throat when the tip of his dick reaches the back of your throat. He gulps and tries again ''...don't... like this... inside you'' he rambles but manages to take a hold of your hair and tug at it. You focus on sucking just the tip for few seconds before his cock leaves your mouth with a low, wet pop sound, a string of saliva connects the tip to your lips. Locking eyes with him while you catch your breath, you keep a gentle hold of his dick head, slowly brushing it against your lips while your other hand, wet with your juices, gives short, slow strokes at its base. He's a moaning, breathless mess beneath you, his dick twitches when you blow some air on it and it's just beautiful, hard, shiny and a bit darker than the rest of his body. You love it. It makes you swell with pride knowing that you did that, you're the cause.

''What do you want, oppa? Just say it.''

''Inside... please, kitten.'' he's totally lost in pleasure, eyes dark and languid, voice raspy, deep and low. He tightens the grip on your hair when you tease him with few little kitten licks on his tip. You giggle lightly and stand on your feet, frantically taking off your loose shorts along with your ruined panties to hop up in his lap and finally crash your mouth on his, letting him taste himself on your tongue, while he brushes the tip of his dick up and down your slit before sliding inside you. You cum instantly at the feeling of stretching and fullness you feel, spasmodically clenching around him with your mouth hanging open in a silent scream and eyes squeezed with white, blurred sparkles under your eyelids, nails sinking into his shoulders. The sight of you in pleasure clicks something in him and, somehow without slipping out of you, he manages to overturn your position, pushing your lower back down on the couch so your ass is sticking up for him to slam against it when he thrusts inside you, hard. He lands a spank on your right buttcheek before grabbing hold of both of your cheeks and starts kneading them as he keeps up with his pace. His strokes are hard and fast but accurate, reaching the right spot deep inside you every single time making you curl your toes and grip the edge of the couch so you can hold on something. He runs one of his big hands up your back to tangle it in your hair and tug it, tilting your head back as he leans forwards, pressing his body on yours, pace's getting sloppier, sign that he's close. He sucks the spot right under your earlobe and yanks at your hair again.

''Cum with me.'' he moans in your ear. And you do while he cums inside you with one last, slow, deep thrust to then collapse on you, breathless. After catching your own breath, you're somehow able to turn around, ignoring the mess you've made between your bodies, so he's now resting his head on your chest.

''Better now?'' you ask quietly, running your fingers through his sweaty hair. He purrs in response. ''How about we stay like this for a bit?'' you suggest and he sighs happily, already falling asleep.