#but its just life for a goomba

[paper-mario-headcanons]

Goombas are mushrooms

Goombas are canonically shiitake mushrooms.

Mushrooms appear on paths with Goombas.

We also see them shelved in Goombario’s house!

hc: Goombario has SIX siblings on the way

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Li'l Marcher

Debut: Yoshi's Crafted World

Remember the joke of Yoshi Tax Fraud? That was really funny as a single Tumblr post! And then not funny at all as a meme. And then kind of funny again when Suppermariobroth unearthed that Yoshi tries to sweettalk people into tax breaks in Fortune Street!

But that is all old news. Let's talk about Yoshi's real, canon crimes! Yoshi has performed a museum heist. Isn't that great?

"No, it's not great. I hate it!"

Oh. Sorry. And who are you?

"I'm Li'l Marcher from Yoshi's Crafted World. And I hate museum heists! Share my story with the world. The people need to know that I hate museum heists."

Yeah okay. Sure. I'll do that. I'm sure people will be very interested in that.

"Thank you. They will. I'll be the next Goomba."

Well, this is Li'l Marcher, and it hates museum heists! Yoshi, on the other hand, loves them, and is sort of just casually looting this place after hours. That's some Wario behavior! But he must be careful, because if he's seen by the automated spotlight, the security system TAKES CONTROL and starts ATTACKING the Yoshi! This security system is the Li'l Marchers, an endless supply of little waddling siren guys.

And being a security system is really their whole thing! If Yoshi is seen, the sirens are released to Get him, but not to alert anyone. Just to Get him. Addressing the fact that this museum is easy enough to enter that a dinosaur got in? No thank you! They just want to kill that intruder and die themselves in the process, because they die instantly upon bumping into Yoshi.

Look at that. Bumbling, I tell you! What's so important about this museum that these bulbs of buffoonery risk their life to protect?

I don't know, but there ARE paintings of Li'l Marchers displayed around the museum! Perhaps they feel in the organization's debt, due to it showing them this appreciation? Or it could be their very own art, and the poor things fear that some of the little culture they have is at risk of theft. Whatever the case, they sure love this painting, because the exact same one is displayed all throughout the stage!

Maybe the true reason they are so dedicated to protecting this museum is that it is frankly just not a good museum. A far below average establishment. The painting is nice, sure, but I only really need to see it once! When you buy a ticket to this museum, proceeds are absolutely not going toward improving its collections. They are instead going to making even more cute little security guards to Kill You. If you're dead, you won't find out that the museum sucks! It's a perfect plan! If you ever plan on going to a bad museum... be careful!

[alelathedragon]

Not me going back and hyper analyzing Mr.Puzzles episodes to further ramble about how silly he is and just how well written he is

Just how blind is this man to memes? VERY.

VERY BLIND

Like I said in my last post he looks at the Meme Factory and only sees the Comedy Zone bc: Being Funny is how he suspects SMG4 has fame, hes been watching these guys for who knows how long and while they give epic performances in Arcs there is always one key denominator to SMG4 and that is: he makes people laugh

Mr.Puzzles doesnt get it. And another way we can see that is in the Despicable Mr.Puzzles episode where

Notice Shroomy has a NORMAL dog. This is important!! Because in Mr.Puzzles world, his TV safe space where HIS shows go the way he thinks they should... Shroomy having a normal dog is good! So when Mr.Puzzles gets upset at him and transforms his dog into a meme...

Shroomy doesnt react how Mr.Puzzles would want him too bc currently, the man himself is partaking in a Roll. Blinded by the Roll he is in. Playing the Character of Gru... Just like how SMG4 is himself but shifts just enough to fit the roll of like Dora The Explorer? Puzzles cant micromanage the NPCs reactions so

This isnt Shroomy just being dumb

This is shroomy: reacting how he might in Real Life, his dog is now a meme. Cool!! How nice of Mr.Puzzles to make his dog funny!! Itd be nice to have my old dog back but i wont argue the new dog

Bc Shroomy is a bit of a people pleaser he wouldnt show his true feelings on that and again: in this world memes are good. So while Puzzles thinks hes so evil... Hes actually doing Shroomy a TYPE of favour

So why does he Like Leggy then?? You may ask... Shes a Meme as far as any of us are concerned, its cannon too!! On meme island Meggy gets turned into Leggy and is confirmed as a Meme.

Wouldn't Mr.Puzzles dislike her for being a foreign unfunny meme to him? Nope!

He looks at Leggy as a Creature. Because that is how she acts in front of him, Leggy as a meme is a goomba gremlin that acts like a loyal pet to whom cares for her 'boss'. A silly lil guy

And being a Fresh Made meme, she hasnt hit Mr.Puzzles media radar so chat

He doesnt know.

He just looks at this small gremlin and goes: what an annoying dog lmao time to move on with my life. But then he gets stuck with her and she animols all over the place getting him attached against his will lmao!!

Hes the perfect antagonist for the smg4 universe

A guy who doesnt think memes are funny/does not understand how the fuck they work. Even after the adventure through the meme factory what is the first thing he does upon hitting the stage?

He tells a dad joke.

His audience: he himself: find that to be the only GOOD source of funny so of course he does that and gets power from it temporarily

(like sure he doesnt STOP memes from happening but bro he doesnt know how too/if a meme happens to be funny in his eyes its only bc it relates to something on TV he saw and can compare to his audience likes. He doesn't outright think memes are the bane of existence but he does have a distaste for them and maybe that's because he doesn't understand how HE can use that power meanwhile everyone is using it against him)

And dad jokes are funny lol kill me if u want lol so ofc the camera worked for him.

But the important thing is: he didnt conform to memeage bc bro doesnt get it

And i love that for him

[factual-fantasy]

Good evening Factual! (Or whenever you're reading this) I sincerely hope your day is going well! And in regards to my last Ask, thanks for the info and clarification regarding Larry and the General! I especially liked your idea for a more reasonable "exploding shell"!

And staying on the topic of the Koopa Troop- I have a bit of a strange question today- what would you estimate is the rough population of the entire Koopa Kingdom? And how does it compare to the Mushroom Kingdoms population? I'd assume it would be significantly larger- as the Mushroom kingdom consists purely of toads, while Bowsers Domain encompasses dozens of different species- or at least it does in the games.

And so that begs the question- do any other species other than koopas make up your AUs Koopa Kingdom? Obviously we've seen troopas and you've mentioned goombas a few times- but are there significant populations of shy guys? Spikes? Monty Moles? Boos? Piranha plants perhaps? And if there are- any idea how they all came to serve Bowser? Was it out of fear, or respect? And are any of the various "vassels" present in the command structure, like King Bob-bomb, king Womp, or everyone's favorite- Petey Piranha!?

No problem! And well, I'm doing much better today than I was yesterday at least <XD Aside from that I caught a cold. So I'm gonna have fun dealing with that for the next week- 🤣💔

As for the species that populate the koopa kingdom, its actually not what you'd think-

My Shy Guys have no alliance with Bowser. They are a species of.. strange woodland people..? That live in what is currently called "shy guy forest". No one really knows how many of them there are, but everyone considers them to be malicious creatures that you shouldn't associate with.

I'd consider Spikey's to be regarded as animals or pets, as opposed to citizens of the kingdom. Whos to say how many of them there are..

I'd also imagine Monty Moles to be regarded as animals rather than "people". And since Bowser's land is so unhealthy, I imagine that they don't live in Bowser's territory anyways..

The Boos have no alliance with Bowser whatsoever. In fact they reside closer to Peach's land then they do Bowsers. King Boo and his Boos are regarded as a small-ish community of.. faries..? Sprites..? What ever the word may be-- that live out in these big dark woods. They don't serve Bowser and don't interact with him in any way really.. other than taking some of his troops that may stumble into the forest--

Piranha plants are also held in the same value as "animals", rather than people. Though I did consider that they grow mostly in Bowsers land.. Though they probably have to be nursed in healthy soil until they are big enough to eat meat. In which.. Bowser's soil is unhealthy. Hmm.. there might not be a whole lot of them anymore-

King bom-bomb likely doesn't really.. exist..?? Yet?? The bomb-ombs are just living bombs created by Kamek. And King bomb-omb would just be a GIANT bomb-omb. But considering they want Peach's land due to how fertile it is.. they don't have any good reason to create such a weapon..

The Thwomp's are tricky.. There was supposed to be this ancient temple that was made of these HUGE stones with faces carved into them. Kamek brought the stones to life, separating them and making them do his bidding.. I considered that "King Thwomp" was a huge cluster of wall that the bricks couldn't be separated from. Making just.. one giant thwomp. What this means is, there is a limited number of thwomp's. Compared to the rest of the kingdom? Surly they'd only have a handful of thwomp's.. (You can see drawings I made of them here! :0 )

As for Petey, he's not in Bowser's kingdom anymore! :0 He grew so huge he was able to eat his way through the castle and escape. He was so big and powerful, and so fast- that no one could stop him. He scurried off in to the woodlands beyond Bowsers territory.. never to be seen by Bowser again.

That just leaves the Koopa troops and all their variants really.. including dry bones.. when it comes to their population? Its hard to say. I don't have any numbers in mind- but I can compare them to the other kingdoms a bit--

Lets use a 10 scale thing, lets say 10/10 is a completely overflowing kingdom. Way too may people to house and it just not even funny-

Peach's kingdom would be a 6/10. Her land is very healthy and their culture is big on family and generations and what not. So that number is slowly rising..

Daisy's kingdom might be closer to a 4-5/10. Less people but still, their land is healthy and that number is slowly rising.

Then there's Bowsers kingdom. I was thinking that his population is closer to 8/10. This is becuase the Koopa people have been around for many years and have had time to build up that number. I also considered that the Koopa people are a very tough species. So even though their land is unhealthy and doesn't bear much food.. they press on..

You might think that Bowser has Peach beat. I mean, its 6 (weakling toads) vs 8 (tough koopas). But actually Daisy and Peach's kingdom are in alliance. So if Bowser picks on Peach, Daisy will back her up.

So then it becomes an 8 vs 10-11. (tough koopas vs weak toads and sturdy Piantas). And now with the hero's of legend on their side? Beings capable of beating death? Its just a big lose for Bowser..

Wow. Okay I just stopped typing and realized that I kind'a flew off the rails there- I better cut it off here-- none the less I hope the answers to your questions are in that ramble somewhere or you at least enjoyed the read! <XDD

[elitadream]

Hi. I just wanted to say that I read and completely agree with your post about koopas (that don't live in the Dark Lands) being peaceful creatures in modest little communities. I wanna add my own headcanon that Koopa Village (PM64) was a community originally founded way back by former Dark Land inhabitants seeking a quiet life different from the one they left behind, while Petalburg (PMTTYD) was founded well before the Dark Lands even had a political presence (easter eggs suggest it is canonically older than the Thousand-Year Door itself), so its koopa inhabitants never even had family ties to the Koopa Troop and have only heard second-hand rumors of Bowser's terrifying regime.

Also, since you're on vacation as of me sending this ask, you'll presumably be done with vacation by the time you read it. So, I'll just say, I hope your vacation was a good one.

Oh hello! 👀 My apologies for the late response! I'm bad at sorting through messages and a few of them sometimes get a little buried. 🙇‍♀️

I'm glad you share the same headcanon regarding koopas! :) 🤝 I love exploring concepts that give more depth to certain characters, and typical enemies/secondary adversaries are obviously no exception! Same goes with goombas and bob-ombs. I think it's only fair to assume that in other realms and territories situated far away from the conflict (and from Bowser's domineering reign especially), these species would have no reason to attack or show hostility, and would thus develop their own tranquil ways of living. The idea of some villages having been founded by actual troops purposely leaving their ranks to seek a more peaceful life is one that I really like, and their descendants having no ties with the conflict whatsoever makes this all the more interesting. 👏

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and for your nice wishes! 😊🩵

[shinjisdone]

Reasons for Link(s) To Be A Yandere

In Relation to this request I did (rather the reblog reblog)

Link is hard to pinpoint since he's a vessel for the player. Headcanons Based on the game's worldbuilding/lore, a bit of their mangas and very much lotsa imagination from my side.

(Romantic)

SS! Link: His constant worry for Zelda's safety, unknown of Hyrule below, too naive, seems like a good boy, unexperienced, someone who might long for ACTUAL connection since Fi is a bit too much beep boop master linkkkk

OoT! Link: Very much naive and still childlike when sent into the future, confused by all that is happening and needs an anker of reality (maybe even an escape to simpler, childish times since he doesn't want to face all the actual real horrors, daydreams a lot), BEARS THE BURDEN OF THE WOOORLD, wishes for some kind of positivity/sunshine, you might think he is weird for his age, protective since he doesn't know what this future has in store for him, ALL THAT HE KNEW AND CHERISHED IS GONE NOW

TP! Link: GUY GOT TURNED INTO A WOLF, IMAGINE JUST; YOUR ENTIRE LIFE IS UPSIDE DOWN FROM HUMAN TO BEAST ALL THAT YOU KNOW WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN YOU HAVE TO GET USED TO LIVING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AS SOMETHING ELSE AND THEN YOU DIE

THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW, YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR FAMILY DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, THEY FEAR YOU AND PRBLY THINK YOU ARE DEAD OR WENT MISSING. AND ON TOP OF THAT YOU ARE EXPECTED TO SAVE THE WORLD

ITS A LOT OF STRESS.

Maybe naive, aware of his strength and ready to protect others, courageous to the point nothing will stop him, maybe bit of a Country pumpkin, soft, so soft he holds animals like babies, internally frustrated and scared? Unsure? NeedING COMFORT AND ASSURANCE? ONLY HAS A FEW LOVED ONES. Needs acceptance.

BotW! Link: My man has SO MUCH LORE. Survivor's guilt? Amnesia? Unsure if he remembers everything correctly? NOT SURE IF HE STILL FEELS THE SAME AFTER LEARNING ABOUT HIS PASSED LOVED ONES? Unexperienced and curious, open and lets himself be amazed by the world, letting all the pain that he doesn't even remember (YET) go and just live the life he couldn't have? A part of him not wanting to go through everything all over again after finding out the truth? Doubting his abilities and believing he'll fail again? Slowly becoming his old, stoic, mute and emotionally closed off self through time? Yes to all the above.

Also talks more at the beginning, eats a lot, happy to help and learn new things. Tries to distract himself from reality.

(Platonic)

LA! Link: You're probly in the island too, just as his imagonation however. A memory of a friend he knows and missed? Cannot EVER see again? Well, you are here, in this mystical, fun island. He can be here with you. Indulges in the dream and pretends its the life he wanted to have with you. Friend, best friend, sibling, whatever, it's you and him now forever. No destiny or Calamity can keep you apart when he is dreaming. Will not listen to the owl. He was forced to grow up when defeating evil but here he can indulge in whimsical, childish games. Fishing, stomping on weird creatures (he finds them funny and names them goombas!) Getting all kinds of funny knick-knacks...all with you. Might shape the dream you to make you into the 'you' he remembers, or worse, desires.

FS! Link: uh-oh four Links is double the trouble. Something might have happened during the Split and each of Link's best and worst characteristics show. Your friend gets agGreSSiVe then overprotective, cheery and kind and then clingy and emotional. Smart and giving advice only to be possesive the next. He struggles to maintain his emotions/doppelgangers and it makes it even worse when he tries to hide his true feelings from you. Each Clone might just spit out a thought/opinion they have of you without thinking that has been residing in Link's heart forever. Each get jealous on who gets to spend more time with you (although they're the same person).

MM! Link: Has the wits and maturity of a grown-up and finds it hard to let himself indulge in anything. Lonely since no one understands him and kids 'his age' are too immature for him so he can't find any friends, any connections. Has immense feeling of duty and responsibility that HE is the hero of everything and everyone. When a Problem arrives, HE must solve it. HE must endanger his life to save others. You must be special to have any connection with him. Longs for a normal life but thats not possible anymore. Zelda unwittingly gave him another terrible fate.

[teegeewrites]

A Chapter Two preview from Blossoming Connection:

"Mario, Luigi! I'm so glad you both could make it!" Peach's eyes sparkled with joy as she approached them with open arms. Leaning down just a touch, she enveloped Luigi in a warm embrace, who gladly reciprocated the gesture. Afterward, she gently cradled Mario’s face and pressed a soft, loving kiss on his lips, causing a slight quiver in his knees.

“Oh, for crying out loud!” Luigi exclaimed, feigning irritation. “Do you guys really need to be all lovey-dovey at this time?” He made a silly face and stuck his tongue out in mock disgust.

With a shared glance and mischievous grins, Mario and Peach turned to Luigi, ready to respond. They leaned in for a series of affectionate Eskimo kisses, their noses playfully touching before their lips met again, this time lingering a bit longer. Luigi, unable to resist the moment, dramatically clutched his stomach and bent over as he pretended to retch. Mario and Peach erupted into laughter, enjoying the lightheartedness of Luigi's antics, with Luigi soon following suit.

It had been a month and a half since Mario and Peach officially began their romantic journey, and despite his lighthearted teasing, Luigi felt a genuine sense of pride in their enduring relationship. He had always been their cheerleader, but watching their love unfold wasn’t without its challenges. In the early days, Mario and Peach would often invite Luigi to join their outings, but he would politely decline. He understood their intentions were good, yet it stung to see them together. On the rare occasions he did tag along, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being a third wheel. There were evenings when he returned home feeling downcast, especially when they seemed lost in their own world, sharing tender moments that left him on the sidelines.

Thankfully, Mario and Peach were not entirely oblivious to Luigi’s feelings. They reached out to him, apologizing for unintentionally sidelining him, especially knowing he was still healing from his crush on Peach. Their empathy and awareness helped heal his heart, and two weeks after their relationship became official and he shared his feelings, Luigi could confidently say he had moved on. He still held a deep admiration for Peach, but now it was strictly as a friend, just as she viewed him.

Yet, watching Mario and Peach bask in their love stirred a different kind of envy in Luigi. Their happiness sparked a longing within him, making him question if he would ever find a love like theirs. Although Peach had comforted him with the promise that he would meet someone special, his confidence in that notion was fading. The Mushroom Kingdom, as he saw it, was largely populated by Toads, amiable Goombas, Koopa Troopas, and Bob-Ombs, with hardly any humans in sight. Luigi was accustomed to seeing interracial couples back in Brooklyn, but the notion of interspecies dating was completely alien to him. He never entertained the idea of a romance with a Toad or Koopa Troopa. He believed that if he wanted to find love, he would need to return to Brooklyn should the opportunity arise. However, the thought of leaving Mario behind was too painful to bear for him. He would never dream of putting Mario in the awkward position of having to choose between him and Peach. It was equally unfair to put Peach in a situation where she might lose the only person that she had formed a romantic bond with, especially considering her home was a world devoid of human companionship. Thus, Luigi came to terms with the possibility that he might live his life without ever forming a romantic connection.

“Luigi,” Mario called with worry etched across his features, pulling Luigi from his reverie. “Are you okay?”

With a bashful smile, Luigi shook his head, realizing he had been caught daydreaming. The knowing look on Mario’s face confirmed that their twin bond had revealed his inner musings. He chuckled while scratching the back of his head in a playful manner. “Everything’s just fine, Mario.”

A faint line formed on Mario's forehead, a clear indication that he was not entirely convinced by Luigi's claims. Luigi let out a resigned sigh, anticipating the relentless questioning that would surely follow as Mario sought to uncover his hidden thoughts. To his surprise, Mario simply offered a gentle smile and rested a comforting hand on Luigi's shoulder, easing some of his tension. However, Luigi couldn't help but notice a strange undertone in Mario's smile, as if he were concealing a secret. Nonetheless, he quickly dismissed the idea, thinking he was reading too much into it.

~~~

What could Mario be hinting at here...🤔

[duckapus]

The Goomba Who Sold the World AU

Through some cosmic fluke(or just an accident during 3 and 4′s SMG training) an average Goomba with an average life and average ambitions gains the ability to see the Code and use Commands.He doesn’t really do much with it at first, just experimenting with the Commands to see what they do and using them for some minor quality-of-life improvements.

Then he gets to thinking, if these powers can improve his life maybe they can improve other lives too. So he starts subtly changing more things, giving the people around him what he thinks they need in a seemingly selfless gesture. But it...doesn’t work? They’re not happy, despite (because of) the changes, and he doesn’t understand. They should be happy! They should be grateful! Can’t they see that things are better now?! So he doubles down, trying to find something in the Command list that’ll fix things. And then he finds it, way down at the bottom of the Last Resorts section.

[command]>Manual_Override: Characters who see User will obey User without question and defend User at all costs. Does not affect Guardians, Avatars, Administrators, or Outside Entities.

And just like his previous commands, he uses this one as quietly and subtly as possible, not wanting to be a leader(or so he tells himself) but willing to become one for the sake of his Better World.

All of his happens so quietly that it goes completely unnoticed by the crew until they see a broadcast showing The Goomba Who Sold The World telling everyone to Find Mario and the four SMGs, along with instructions on how His World is going to improve.

The only ones not affected besides them are Lil Coding(since it’s the manifestation of 3 and 4′s code so their protection extends to it), Melony(its the one good thing that came from her getting possessed by Niles) and Steve(his Minecraft Server is a separate universe that happens to be connected to the main one, and he didn’t get uploaded like the Newgrounds characters did. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it). And despite there being quite a few powerhouses in the group, it’s still them against Literally Everyone Else(or at least everyone who saw the broadcast), so they’re definitely not gonna have an easy time of it.

[blazehedgehog]

Video game merch feels more accessible these days with a lot of storefronts for every company to sell stuff. But how do you feel about overpriced video game goods, like the ones advertised here? https://twitter.com/SQEX_MD_NA.

I feel like Square is a bad example because if Square had their way they'd probably sell all their games at $100 each. The "Square Tax" has been a term circulated for decades at this point.

I don't like most video game collectibles. They definitely look nice but so many of them come out at this point that I don't understand who has the space for them all. It makes me think of like, LootCrate, which thankfully isn't around anymore, but how it was basically just a pipeline to flood Ebay with promotional junk.

Like you search "Play Arts Kai" (which I think Square owns?) on Ebay and there are 7,600 results. If you search Nendoroid, you get 66,000 results. I don't know who has the space or the money for all this stuff. And obviously neither do they, if they're selling it all second hand.

There's something I remember stumbling upon once. It was a company like First4Figures, but instead of making video game statues, they made like, busts of dinosaurs from Jurassic Park. Like you were a hunter, you killed a Velociraptor, stuffed it, and mounted its head on a plaque. Some of them were life size. And they were hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars. For what it's worth, they were very nicely detailed. They looked like movie props.

I found out about it through some Jurassic Park fansite. Maybe it was during production of the Jurassic Park SNES video. And everybody in the thread was over the moon with hype, talking about the ones they already had, talking about getting the new one, and I had the same question then: who has space and money for this?

As I thumbed through the forum thread, the conversation shifted, and I got my answer: at least some of these users had been cycling out old busts by selling them on Ebay as a down payment for the new busts. Instead of spending $650 on this immaculate and very heavy dinosaur head, they were only spending, say, maybe a third of that.

But then who are these being made for? If people are constantly chasing new pieces and flipping the old stuff, does the old stuff just end up in a landfill eventually after changing hands enough times? Broken, and unloved?

It's a world I can't understand these days.

Like I got these guys recently because import hobby shop Suruga-ya was having a "free international shipping" sale so a bunch of Japanese merchandise was stupidly cheap. I think Dedede was like $3 and the Goomba was like $2.50

Even them, I got them here and looked around my room and realized the one shelf where all my amiibos and figures and stuff go is getting pretty full and I don't have the room to put up another shelf.

So like I said, it's a world I don't get. A lot of it seems like junk nobody actually needs, but they get it in their heads that this is how they define their love for the fandom they're in. Like "Of course I'm a fan because I spent thiiiiiis much" on what is ostensibly $10 of PVC.

[delightfuldevin]

I read your Mario Lore/Headcanons dump fic on AO3 and it was!!!! SO GOOD!!!!!! And so cool???? The Luma Luma life cycle the Stars being gods the inclusion of the Thunder and Fire dudes from Super star Saga, the Power up list, but mostly the Mushroom/Koopa kingdom backstories!!! Thousands of years of war ended because some guys were bad parents! Amazing!!

It was so well explained I couldn't for so long think of any questions for you because I understood it so well you wrote it all so clear and understandable I feel like I just pulled a History Book off a self in Peach's Library it's sooo coooooooool

Anyway tell me about the Borealis Kingdom!! What happened to it? Was Rosalina just a citizen or royalty? What were the people like? Any information you have on it I'm sooooo curious!

“I feel like I just pulled a History Book off a shelf in Peach’s Library” IS PROBABLY THE MOST AMAZING AND WONDERFUL COMPLIMENT I’VE EVER RECEIVED IN MY LIFE???? THANK YOU!!!! Like!!! That means so so soooo much to me!! This world is practically my home and all the stuff I make up about it is essentially me trying to have a deeper and cohesive understanding of it and that just makes me feel very *incoherent babbling and squealing while shaking my hands*

Okay anyway about the Borealis Kingdom!! Rosalina was the princess! Her parents were King Vega and Queen Rosetta (yes I stole that from Rosie’s Japanese name nxbcjscbs), and I don’t have a name for her brother yet rip x^x. I don’t have much info on the people themselves, just that they worshipped the Stars and made ritual wishes to them frequently. The kingdom fell shortly after Rosalina was called into space. Like, probably within a decade or so.

The relations between the Borealis and Koopa Kingdoms were neutral for the most part. They weren’t enemies, though they didn’t consider each other allies either. Tensions could’ve easily rose at any time, but it never happened. During this time, the Fire God was still active in the Koopa Kingdom, so the Koopas were perfectly content with life and showed no interest in relations with other kingdoms.

Goombas and Toads are both native to the Borealis Kingdom and its surrounding areas, but their populations only began to grow substantially following the kingdom’s fall.

…And that’s all I’ve got! I don’t have too much info on pre-modern era stuff, but I hope you enjoy this small amount of info nonetheless ^^”

[weirdmarioenemies]

This is a post about GUBBLE

Gubble is funny, we all know this. Look at Gubble, look and giggle. But Gubble is not just something to laugh at, it is something to laugh WITH! It is a fun little game full of nonsense words and weird little creatures. I highly recommend reading the manual, which you can find here, as it is actually rather funny! I will be talking about some of my favorite Gubble Creatures! So here I am, posting a Gubble. It's Friday, alright!

Gubble D. Gleep

Oh hell yeah! Look at that rendering. I never want to see Gubble in a "good" rendering style. I don't think he would be able to breathe. Gubble is the main Gubble Creature. He is a funny alien! The gleep glorp kind! He has a wacky skin color and antennae, but his big defining features are his ears, which he is very proud of. I do not know how they work! It is weird to see an alien with antennae AND ears, since I always assume alien antennae are for detecting sound, but maybe Gubble's are like regular animal antennae, and are for smelling!

Gubble makes all sorts of weird noises as he flies around in his, I quote, "mini-spaceship pod thing". He uses that to unscrew screws and pry out nails and anything else he needs to do to detach Zymbots from the surface of the planet Rennigar, and Zymbots are the levels, and you see the word "Zymbot" a LOT in this game, and I think that is wonderful.

They even put "Zymbot" on the cover of the sequel! That only makes the information more confusing than it otherwise would have been. I am all for it! But what awaits you, among the Zymbots...?

Wangry Wobot

"They are red and they are angry. Unfortunately, they don't know what they are angry about, but they know they like to follow aliens around."

Look at this! See what I mean? The manual is so delightful! Wangry Wobot... such a wonderful name! This wobot is wangry... or I should say, this wobot is angry, because the description informs us that it is angry, and Wangry Wobot is its name. All it does is walk, but in a funny way, with those legs sliding back and forth on its body, not bending or anything. I love how flat and minimalist this thing is. Built and programmed just to walk around, yet built with the capacity for anger...

Wangry Wobot Wannabee

"They are not-quite-red (blue actually), but they want to be every bit as angry as the Wangry Wobots. They haven’t learned how to follow aliens yet, so they just wander around aimlessly. Pathetic, really, but oh well…"

Hey! Be nice to them! If Wangry Wobot is Gubble's Goomba, then the Wannabee is Gubble's Goombrat. These are even more endearing with their personality! They look up to Wangry Wobots so much, like a younger sibling or maybe even a child, a freshly hatched robot from a metal egg. I wish we had funny robots like this in real life, but the only ones they make in real life these days are evil. Hopefully it will one day be economically feasible to fund some funny robots that walk around town and do literally nothing but kind of get in the way. Would be cool!

FlatWorm

"These guys like to sneak up on you unnoticed and cause grief and misery."

Wow! I would not have expected to see notable Creature Representation in Gubble of all things, but here we have a platyhelminth that at least I think is pretty clearly a stylized planarian! This one is a funny shape, like a shoehorn, and has a funny depth to it, like it was cut out of a sheet of dough. Now, normally I would be telling you that no animal is morally bad, they don't have the capacity for it, but we are told in FlatWorm's description that it is, indeed, messed up and evil. Just get away from it, please! Get back to the zymbot! Had you forgotten about the zymbot?

Orb

"They just roam around over your head. They're orbs, ya know?"

I am not sure I know! But they are cool orbs! Good job making some orbs! Their eyes make them look like giant ostracods, the most orbtastic creature of all!

Slug Bug

"An example of the bizarre Rennigar fauna. Man, somebody must have gone pop-eyed when that monster was created."

Created??? These creatures were Created??? Even the non-mechanical ones? By who? Mad scientists? Gubble God? I don't know! Whoever it was, I don't think they know what a slug is, though. Pincers, segments, bristles, this is all bug, no slug! Like some kind of larva to me. The five eyes are goofy, but most insects technically do have five eyes, with two compound eyes and three little ocelli on top!

Drone

"Originally used as repair drones, these spidery-looking things will use their pinchers on you just as effectively. Stay out of their reach!"

Look, it's Drone! Like they keep putting in the cartoons to keep them timely! I am fascinated by the manual for calling these "spidery-looking", since it is clearly some kind of roboshark head with pinchy claws. Did you know? Real spiders do not look like robosharks! However, I am not saying the manual is WRONG. Maybe "spider" means something entirely different than the way we Earthlings use it. After all, we say "level" instead of "zymbot", like a bunch of knuckleheads!

Uurrgghh

"The stories go that the Uurrgghhs used to be somebody's eyes and were stolen. Now they roam back and forth looking for their owner. And if they can't find their owner, you would do as well. Want a pair of alien eyes?"

I will bookend this post with another of the silliest enemy names. We really go from Drone right to Uurrgghh. Awesome! Uurrgghh is almost a fantasy creature, a classic eyeball with bat wings, but it has this cool metal exoskeleton or helmet with droopy horns, and three tentacles emerging from the bottom, so it is also fittingly sci-fi, which I think is very fun. I don't think they looked like that when they were just someone's eyes, but put on this protective outfit to stay moist and healthy while flying around with no eyelids. Would you welcome them into your sockets? They don't HAVE to replace your current eyes. They could all be friends!

So those are just some of my favorite silly things from Gubble! If you did not know much about Gubble, I hope you have a new appreciation for it! Be careful out there on those zymbots!

[photog-crafty]

You'd think a big, spiked behemoth like the Future Shock Cerberus would have packed some serious firepower, wouldn't you? Nope. You and your passenger each got nothing but a dinky flamethrower that barely reached beyond the chassis and couldn't singe the wings off of a mosquito. In fact, the Cerberus' weapons were more prone to damaging itself than its aggressor, and you couldn't even switch to handheld weapons as a backup. Nevertheless, it still looked totally badass, especially flying through the sky at the hands of someone who had mastered the shunt boost.

Sasquatches were a common sight among friends and crew, because a giant jumping monster truck is something everyone can enjoy. I went with the Apocalypse variant, because the Future Shock was a little too weird, even for me. Strangely, GTA monster trucks were never much good at crushing cars, typically pushing them around and occasionally toppling over instead, but at least the Sasquatch could jump on top of them like Goombas. I wonder if it was a subtle metaphor for IRL monster truck shows moving away from car crushing and shifting to racing and stunt-themed events. As long as I can still BUY THE WHOLE SEAT BUT ONLY NEED THE EDGE SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY

The Wastelander was such a goofy thing. It was used in scripted missions as a vehicle transport, but there was no way to actually transport vehicles with it in regular gameplay, so you were just left with this oversized hauler that took up two lanes. When we pulled it out of the garage, it was usually to ford one of the western rivers or to bring an obnoxiously huge vehicle to a car meet.

Sometimes I thought about buying a Technical just for the fun of it, but I could never justify the purchase, because I didn't need it and the Insurgent did everything it could do. Then the Technical Aqua was introduced, which solved the dilemma cleanly. Once it was in the water and not getting the barrels hung up on streetlights and pieces of geometry, it was a good time. The game really could have used more things to do in the water on the main map.

Most of the special vehicles that came with the Import/Export update were used to test and try out new features on cars, like the Phantom Wedge's plow, or in this case, the Rocket Voltic's jet engine. This car was literally just a Voltic with a rocket engine installed in the back. It took a little while for it to recharge, but back then, we didn't care and just had a good time with it. Even after newer and better vehicles with rocket boosts were released, the Rocket Voltic still had a niche in baiting griefers hiding in passive mode into taking a ride and being forcibly ejected without a parachute 400 feet above the ground.

To this day, the Ruiner 2000 remains the single most expensive land vehicle in the game at 5.7 million GTA-bucks, or 4.3 million with the trade discount. That's on top of the 2.5 million you needed for the office and warehouse to store it. All those millions didn't really seem worth it until years later, when it was discovered to be one of the best ways to bully Oppressors. The Ruiner 2000 was nothing special by today's standards, with only eight missiles, a jump function, and a parachute, but owning one opened up access to the Fully Loaded VIP job. Fully Loaded gave the player who started it a unique Ruiner 2000 with infinite missiles, Mobile Operations Center armor, and immunity to missile lock-on, in addition to turning off police for everyone in the session for 20 minutes. Seeing those two words pop up was like hearing Gabriel blow the trumpets, and every crew member in the session knew it was time to bring about the griefer's personal Götterdämmerung.

The last Ruiner in my collection is this one here. The ability for muscle cars to wheelie was added to the game a few years after it came out on PC, breathing new life into the class by adding a traversal option, so I needed a Ruiner that didn't date back to 2015. Much more care was put into its appearance, with true white crew paint, glass t-top panels, and a drink in the cupholder for that extra lived-in touch. It was my daily driver for quite some time and eventually retired to a place of honor next to my nightclub's office, where it could still be part of my GTA life up until the very end.

One of my all-time favorite IRL cars is the Ford RS200, a 600HP monster masquerading as a quirky '80s grocery getter to the untrained eye. GTA paid respects to its Group B origins with the GB200, and the conversion was pretty darn faithful. It was a little pokey at the top end because it was released during the developers' obsession with "advanced" handling flags that only served to hamper performance, but that didn't stop me from throwing it down the dirt roads and beaches all day.

The Brawler was another obscure off-road sports car that only a game like GTA would feature. It was based on the Local Motors Rally Fighter, a lifted limited-production car powered by a Corvette motor. It was just as fast as its real-life counterpart, but in a twist of fate the Rally Fighter is likely much safer to drive as the Brawler was infamous for having brakes made of gas station toilet paper. You needed a co-driver to watch the trail well in advance or you'd be parking it in a ditch, which was a fate worse than death in the dark ages of 2015, well before the ability to dismiss personal vehicles was added.

Sometimes you just want a truck. The Caracara 4x4 was added to the game well after the original Caracara failed to sate demand for an F-150 Raptor, and it was an apology well accepted, with great aesthetics and capability. I'm not really a fan of CCSB trucks in real life, but the four seats were welcome here because I drove this thing everywhere. Lots of other people did too, and the Caracara 4x4 was a regular sight in public lobbies well after it faded out of being the new hotness. Flying in the face of memes about American truck owners, people who drove trucks in GTA were almost always total bros and very chill. It spoke volumes about someone's personality when, in a game full of multi-million-dollar exotics and futuristic wondercars, they chose to drive a good ol' pickup truck.

[duckyfruitbat]

Drawn to Life

I remember playing this game as a kid. I borrowed it from my brother and I enjoyed it. Now sixteen years later I played it again and realized that I didn't appreciate it nearly enough. This game is so delightful from the characters, the story, even the art style. I could gush about this for an entire review, so I'll do just that.

The main plot follows two child hood friends named Mari and Jowee calling upon the god of their world to help revive their village that has fallen to a darkness that came about from a fellow villager deciding that he can do better than god and stole a powerful holy relic eventually destroying it causing the world to fall into ruin. By the time the game proper starts, the world is nearly done for being stuck in an eternal winter with the sun gone. All seems lost until the creator starts talking to Mari as she's having a crisis of faith. Yeah this game has some religious themes, but because of the setting, it is pretty easy to put aside and it doesn't really push one religion over another. If anything they're more allegorical to any real life religion.

In game you play as a hero created from a mannequin that you can draw on, but in reality you are the creator of this world. I am a god with the ability to doodle dicks all over the world.

Given the stakes at hand I decided I needed to take it very seriously, so I made a blue fox with read hair that I named Bingus. The drawing mechanic is more of a gimmick in this game, and is not really a focus of the game play. Really its more of a standard plat former, it's a pretty solid one though. Each level is simultaneously a rescue mission for three villagers and a hunt for pages of the book of life. You can't complete the level without those two missions complete. Each group of villagers has one named and the other two are more generic.

Art style wise, we have that classic pristine DS pixel art going on. The environments have a lot of detail, and I also noticed that with just a little bit of care, you can make your own creations fit in pretty well. Something fun about the named villagers is that they have their own unique animations that pretty well convey their personalities. For example there is a thief whose animation is constantly looking over his shoulder, there's a security guard who is clearly inspired by the secret service who is always on his phone, no doubt going over the security detail, there's an astronomer who's always looking up while shielding his eyes from the sun.

The enemies are also just wonderful on the eyes. The common enemies the Baki, this game's equivalent to goombas, are just so adorable and are so expressive, I love them and would end society for them. There are also the shadow enemies created by the main villain, they give the feeling of being simultaneously being made from ink and smoke. The animation and the designs of the enemies are just something I can't help but to just stop and look at. It's just so pleasant on the eyes. Which has also cost me a number of lives.

Story wise it really sticks in my head. It has a progression in how things get more serious. The mood is tied to the mayor and his office, at first he gives off more the feeling of just trying to provide sanctuary from a dying world, but eventually his mood changes to "by Ducky's balls we actually have a chance to end this nightmare!" There is a subplot running throughout of Mari being propped up as the next mayor after her dad steps down at some point in the near future. Apparently the office of the mayor is hereditary here. She goes through an arch of impostor syndrome believing that she's not good enough for the title that is never fully resolved in this game, in fact it carries over into the next. (Spoiler alert) This makes the scene where the Mayor is murdered a heart wrenching moment. A character who is always there at the end of every level and mission who becomes a point of stability in the village is suddenly gone.

There are also plenty of moments of levity in between missions, one example is near the beginning of the game while the village is coming out of winter, the mayor sees Mari and Jowee throwing snowballs at each other and decides to have a village wide snowball fight. It's one of those moments I keep remembering, because it was just the villagers trying to keep their spirits up after watching the world crumble around them. Another point is when Mari and Jowee start getting theological about how the creator watches over the world, and Jowee ends up describing a DS. They know too much, I must smite them, BINGUS GET THE BINGLAR!

I mentioned this in the review I did on the Wii sequel, but this game has great respect for its audience. This is an E rated game on the DS but it doesn't use that as an excuse to cut corners with writing. Sure its a simple story with a coloring book gimmick, but peppered in it are details and moments that just tell me this game really cares about what its putting out there. It doesn't talk down to you, it doesn't handhold you, it treats you with respect no matter your age. I absolutely recommend this game.

[chefediaboiv]

Conversations with Jr. GGG Pt. 2

Remember going too hard at work, could lead to coming home to some uncomfortable situations. Nigga you caught us, keep complaining and you won't be able to play your station. I broke the remote, and it don't look like either testicle is changing places. Infact she volunteering arm work for changing faces, but I'm a bum look Chefe complacent. I bet at your workplace you only get spoken to when you need to be spoken too, staff wise hope the ratio coupable. Hey Mr Sister I'll be over here twiddling thumbs on the first game I play, wonder if it's twister. Shit a bandit is nothing without his trusty stallion, downtown doubting if shizu was even your girl. In No game No life can you vibrantly point to the episode we're these two said delete they're own world. Yo Goomba theirs facts, click click that ear wax. Is banning me your way of controlling a fart appearance, nice nice I know your hard of hearing. Let's dial it back, Netflix and chill. Nope I'm not passing blunt, you don't wanna know where is found it at. It was a epic journey, you better believe it. She thinks omen wishbones are for depositing demons, and the joy on her child's face will leave security paraplegic. Dawg I'm big with the top flight password, I'm elite is your e lite backwards. I don't like light bright bastards, now money hungry Hippo's they like Masters, lashings and degrees. Pinup dolls love looking for middle ground, she like omittin what she see's. I'm the machiatto in Carmela's clutches, her wearing my tee shirt is an entity reverb. It's echoed in prophecy I'd become my enemies teacher, if you caught a vibe it's just a beeper. I'll notify you when and if you move me, I kept the bleeper. You won't be able to bend the bars there no piss in your beaker. Lizzy McGuire'd your Shia Labeouf but sure scenes are scenic, I can mix and scratch even cersi believes it. For this spit roast she'll want a s'more, camp fire smoothies galore. Don't be so whipped cream puff, not so tough sugar dumpling. Had this whole scheme in place when you should've did nothing, she called Luigi when she needed her plumbing. You ever caught someone jumping from planetary shifts, plate techtonics is some scary shit. Its family night and we playing crazy 8s, I'm dealing so it may be safe but I don't show you what the prize is. Casino, check the feed and I don't show where the live is, DMC said something bout rounding collars, can I show you what the time is. You know the awkward pause when Oracle speaks with Keanu Reeves. Seems someone doesn't like the professional description the manuel reads. it's important you know how you treat a parrot pissed, tell me why every line you've been beat with a pair of dicks.

[cooledtured]

It’s-a Me, Mario, Nominated for a Family Film Award!

A familiar red-clad plumber, a catchy theme song, and an iconic green brother — yes, it’s Mario and Luigi, and they’re not just plumbing pipes this time! The Super Mario Bros. Movie has snagged a well-deserved nomination for Best Animated Family Film at the CBS Family Film and TV Awards, and it’s no surprise. This film, bursting with vibrant colors, heart-warming moments, and hilarious antics, has charmed audiences of all ages, proving that sometimes, a classic hero never goes out of style.

But what exactly makes The Super Mario Bros. Movie such a strong contender for the Family Film Award? Let’s jump into the warp pipe and explore the secret ingredients that make this movie a delightful recipe for family entertainment.

Firstly, the film masterfully captures the essence of the beloved Mario universe. With a delightful balance of nostalgia and fresh storytelling, it introduces both seasoned gamers and new adventurers to the fantastical Mushroom Kingdom. We see the bustling Brooklyn of Mario and Luigi, the whimsical plains populated by Goombas and Koopas, and the majestic Princess Peach’s castle, all rendered in stunning CGI animation. It’s a visual treat that sparks the imagination and invites viewers to explore, just like Mario himself.

The story, though familiar in its core rescue princess-defeat Bowser plot, feels refreshingly vibrant. It dives deeper into the Mario brothers’ relationship, showcasing their camaraderie and sibling rivalry with humour and warmth. The film takes its time establishing characters and motivations before plunging headfirst into action-packed sequences, ensuring even the youngest viewers can follow the narrative’s logic.

The narrative avoids bogging down the non-technical audience with gaming references or complex lore. Instead, it relies on universal themes of family, friendship, and overcoming challenges. Jokes land without requiring detailed knowledge of Koopa troop formations, and emotional moments resonate with anyone who’s ever cherished a sibling or dreamed of heroic adventures.

But a great family film isn’t just about the story; it’s about the experience. The Super Mario Bros. Movie shines in this aspect too. The soundtrack is a nostalgic symphony of classic themes and catchy new tunes, sung by none other than Jack Black himself as Bowser. The voice acting is superb, with Chris Pratt and Anya Taylor-Joy breathing life into Mario and Peach, and Charlie Day’s Luigi proving to be the breakout comedic star.

Visually, the film is a feast for the eyes. Every frame bursts with vibrant colours, detailed textures, and dynamic camera movements. Whether it’s Bowser’s fire-breathing fury or Mario’s acrobatic leaps, the animation is fluid and engaging, keeping even the most restless attention spans glued to the screen.

So, is The Super Mario Bros. Movie a worthy contender for the Best Animated Family Film Award? Absolutely! It captures the spirit of adventure, celebrates the power of family, and delivers a fun, visually stunning experience that will keep audiences of all ages laughing, cheering, and maybe even humming the theme song long after the credits roll. So, whether you’re a lifelong Mario fan or discovering the joys of the Mushroom Kingdom for the first time, be sure to tune in to the CBS Family Film and TV Awards and join us in rooting for our favorite plumber brothers. It’s-a me, Bard, saying you won’t regret it!

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DANIEL SIMMONS | Writer POP-COOLEDTURED SPECIALIST cooledtured.com | GROW YOUR COLLECTION

[jerricocreates]

Alright, this is going to be a weird one, but what's new. I've been taken by Mario Wonder and something caught my eye as a DnD idea, The Wonder Flower. Let me lay out why it's such an interesting idea to steal for DnD. Keep in mind, I'm not very far into the game, so later stuff in the game may change this.

The Wonder Flower produces any number of wild magical effects on the world around it.

It can be as small as a small localized area or as large as the entire level.

These effects seem to be able to summon creatures and objects, bring life to objects, or change and alter the world around it. Conjuration and Transmutation respectively.

There is an argument for Illusion to debate. There is a chance the effects are hallucinatory and we are seeing it from the characters perspective. However, you can interact with the effects and bowser can use it to steal a castle. There's a debate there, but I'll file it under less likely.

Presumably, the effects of the flower can be targeted or somehow wielded and enhanced by a proper mage. While all the flowers I've seen in the game do the same thing in the same level, I highly doubt that first flower Bowser touched is the turn-you-into-a-castle flower. If that specific flower only did that, it seems like it would be easy to test, and unwise for the inhabitants to bring to the prince's castle.

These flowers are presumably some level of rare. Even though every level has at least one, they seem to only grow as one flower. Most flowers I know of grow in patches of multiple flowers, just because of the nature of sowing flower seeds. There is an argument that they grow in patches and are relocated around the kingdom, but that seems unlikely because of my next point.

And this is the big one. The only way to neutralize the effects of the flower is by using a seed of the same flower causing the effects. It seems that stronger effects require more seeds, which is why you need to collect them to deal with the piranha plants Bowser left to block certain levels.

Lastly, every house in the kingdom carries a seed. Presumably, these flowers are so widespread in their growth that every citizen of the kingdom keeps a Wonder Seed in their home in case a flower goes off nearby and turns them into a Goomba or something. They even seem to recognize that the Wonder Flower can be enhanced, because they give you the seeds. They recognize that, "Hey, if this Bowser guy is powerful enough to harness the wonder for his own purpose, then whoever is trying to stop him is going to need plenty of seeds to nullify his magic."

I'm very inspired by this concept. I'm picturing a region of the Feywild that grows these mystical flowers that cause wild magic upon the local area. The longer a flower grows for, the stronger its effect and the wider its coverage. Brave adventure delve deep into the magical area to find the flower and harvest a seed from it to neutralize its effects. Chaotic mages may even seek strong flowers out to study and harness its power for feats normally impossible by standard magical means.