#but its just life for a goomba

[paper-mario-headcanons]

Goombas are mushrooms

Goombas are canonically shiitake mushrooms.

Mushrooms appear on paths with Goombas.

We also see them shelved in Goombario’s house!

hc: Goombario has SIX siblings on the way

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Li'l Marcher

Debut: Yoshi's Crafted World

Remember the joke of Yoshi Tax Fraud? That was really funny as a single Tumblr post! And then not funny at all as a meme. And then kind of funny again when Suppermariobroth unearthed that Yoshi tries to sweettalk people into tax breaks in Fortune Street!

But that is all old news. Let's talk about Yoshi's real, canon crimes! Yoshi has performed a museum heist. Isn't that great?

"No, it's not great. I hate it!"

Oh. Sorry. And who are you?

"I'm Li'l Marcher from Yoshi's Crafted World. And I hate museum heists! Share my story with the world. The people need to know that I hate museum heists."

Yeah okay. Sure. I'll do that. I'm sure people will be very interested in that.

"Thank you. They will. I'll be the next Goomba."

Well, this is Li'l Marcher, and it hates museum heists! Yoshi, on the other hand, loves them, and is sort of just casually looting this place after hours. That's some Wario behavior! But he must be careful, because if he's seen by the automated spotlight, the security system TAKES CONTROL and starts ATTACKING the Yoshi! This security system is the Li'l Marchers, an endless supply of little waddling siren guys.

And being a security system is really their whole thing! If Yoshi is seen, the sirens are released to Get him, but not to alert anyone. Just to Get him. Addressing the fact that this museum is easy enough to enter that a dinosaur got in? No thank you! They just want to kill that intruder and die themselves in the process, because they die instantly upon bumping into Yoshi.

Look at that. Bumbling, I tell you! What's so important about this museum that these bulbs of buffoonery risk their life to protect?

I don't know, but there ARE paintings of Li'l Marchers displayed around the museum! Perhaps they feel in the organization's debt, due to it showing them this appreciation? Or it could be their very own art, and the poor things fear that some of the little culture they have is at risk of theft. Whatever the case, they sure love this painting, because the exact same one is displayed all throughout the stage!

Maybe the true reason they are so dedicated to protecting this museum is that it is frankly just not a good museum. A far below average establishment. The painting is nice, sure, but I only really need to see it once! When you buy a ticket to this museum, proceeds are absolutely not going toward improving its collections. They are instead going to making even more cute little security guards to Kill You. If you're dead, you won't find out that the museum sucks! It's a perfect plan! If you ever plan on going to a bad museum... be careful!

[alelathedragon]

Not me going back and hyper analyzing Mr.Puzzles episodes to further ramble about how silly he is and just how well written he is

Just how blind is this man to memes? VERY.

VERY BLIND

Like I said in my last post he looks at the Meme Factory and only sees the Comedy Zone bc: Being Funny is how he suspects SMG4 has fame, hes been watching these guys for who knows how long and while they give epic performances in Arcs there is always one key denominator to SMG4 and that is: he makes people laugh

Mr.Puzzles doesnt get it. And another way we can see that is in the Despicable Mr.Puzzles episode where

Notice Shroomy has a NORMAL dog. This is important!! Because in Mr.Puzzles world, his TV safe space where HIS shows go the way he thinks they should... Shroomy having a normal dog is good! So when Mr.Puzzles gets upset at him and transforms his dog into a meme...

Shroomy doesnt react how Mr.Puzzles would want him too bc currently, the man himself is partaking in a Roll. Blinded by the Roll he is in. Playing the Character of Gru... Just like how SMG4 is himself but shifts just enough to fit the roll of like Dora The Explorer? Puzzles cant micromanage the NPCs reactions so

This isnt Shroomy just being dumb

This is shroomy: reacting how he might in Real Life, his dog is now a meme. Cool!! How nice of Mr.Puzzles to make his dog funny!! Itd be nice to have my old dog back but i wont argue the new dog

Bc Shroomy is a bit of a people pleaser he wouldnt show his true feelings on that and again: in this world memes are good. So while Puzzles thinks hes so evil... Hes actually doing Shroomy a TYPE of favour

So why does he Like Leggy then?? You may ask... Shes a Meme as far as any of us are concerned, its cannon too!! On meme island Meggy gets turned into Leggy and is confirmed as a Meme.

Wouldn't Mr.Puzzles dislike her for being a foreign unfunny meme to him? Nope!

He looks at Leggy as a Creature. Because that is how she acts in front of him, Leggy as a meme is a goomba gremlin that acts like a loyal pet to whom cares for her 'boss'. A silly lil guy

And being a Fresh Made meme, she hasnt hit Mr.Puzzles media radar so chat

He doesnt know.

He just looks at this small gremlin and goes: what an annoying dog lmao time to move on with my life. But then he gets stuck with her and she animols all over the place getting him attached against his will lmao!!

Hes the perfect antagonist for the smg4 universe

A guy who doesnt think memes are funny/does not understand how the fuck they work. Even after the adventure through the meme factory what is the first thing he does upon hitting the stage?

He tells a dad joke.

His audience: he himself: find that to be the only GOOD source of funny so of course he does that and gets power from it temporarily

(like sure he doesnt STOP memes from happening but bro he doesnt know how too/if a meme happens to be funny in his eyes its only bc it relates to something on TV he saw and can compare to his audience likes. He doesn't outright think memes are the bane of existence but he does have a distaste for them and maybe that's because he doesn't understand how HE can use that power meanwhile everyone is using it against him)

And dad jokes are funny lol kill me if u want lol so ofc the camera worked for him.

But the important thing is: he didnt conform to memeage bc bro doesnt get it

And i love that for him

[elitadream]

Hi. I just wanted to say that I read and completely agree with your post about koopas (that don't live in the Dark Lands) being peaceful creatures in modest little communities. I wanna add my own headcanon that Koopa Village (PM64) was a community originally founded way back by former Dark Land inhabitants seeking a quiet life different from the one they left behind, while Petalburg (PMTTYD) was founded well before the Dark Lands even had a political presence (easter eggs suggest it is canonically older than the Thousand-Year Door itself), so its koopa inhabitants never even had family ties to the Koopa Troop and have only heard second-hand rumors of Bowser's terrifying regime.

Also, since you're on vacation as of me sending this ask, you'll presumably be done with vacation by the time you read it. So, I'll just say, I hope your vacation was a good one.

Oh hello! 👀 My apologies for the late response! I'm bad at sorting through messages and a few of them sometimes get a little buried. 🙇‍♀️

I'm glad you share the same headcanon regarding koopas! :) 🤝 I love exploring concepts that give more depth to certain characters, and typical enemies/secondary adversaries are obviously no exception! Same goes with goombas and bob-ombs. I think it's only fair to assume that in other realms and territories situated far away from the conflict (and from Bowser's domineering reign especially), these species would have no reason to attack or show hostility, and would thus develop their own tranquil ways of living. The idea of some villages having been founded by actual troops purposely leaving their ranks to seek a more peaceful life is one that I really like, and their descendants having no ties with the conflict whatsoever makes this all the more interesting. 👏

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and for your nice wishes! 😊🩵

[teegeewrites]

A Chapter Two preview from Blossoming Connection:

"Mario, Luigi! I'm so glad you both could make it!" Peach's eyes sparkled with joy as she approached them with open arms. Leaning down just a touch, she enveloped Luigi in a warm embrace, who gladly reciprocated the gesture. Afterward, she gently cradled Mario’s face and pressed a soft, loving kiss on his lips, causing a slight quiver in his knees.

“Oh, for crying out loud!” Luigi exclaimed, feigning irritation. “Do you guys really need to be all lovey-dovey at this time?” He made a silly face and stuck his tongue out in mock disgust.

With a shared glance and mischievous grins, Mario and Peach turned to Luigi, ready to respond. They leaned in for a series of affectionate Eskimo kisses, their noses playfully touching before their lips met again, this time lingering a bit longer. Luigi, unable to resist the moment, dramatically clutched his stomach and bent over as he pretended to retch. Mario and Peach erupted into laughter, enjoying the lightheartedness of Luigi's antics, with Luigi soon following suit.

It had been a month and a half since Mario and Peach officially began their romantic journey, and despite his lighthearted teasing, Luigi felt a genuine sense of pride in their enduring relationship. He had always been their cheerleader, but watching their love unfold wasn’t without its challenges. In the early days, Mario and Peach would often invite Luigi to join their outings, but he would politely decline. He understood their intentions were good, yet it stung to see them together. On the rare occasions he did tag along, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being a third wheel. There were evenings when he returned home feeling downcast, especially when they seemed lost in their own world, sharing tender moments that left him on the sidelines.

Thankfully, Mario and Peach were not entirely oblivious to Luigi’s feelings. They reached out to him, apologizing for unintentionally sidelining him, especially knowing he was still healing from his crush on Peach. Their empathy and awareness helped heal his heart, and two weeks after their relationship became official and he shared his feelings, Luigi could confidently say he had moved on. He still held a deep admiration for Peach, but now it was strictly as a friend, just as she viewed him.

Yet, watching Mario and Peach bask in their love stirred a different kind of envy in Luigi. Their happiness sparked a longing within him, making him question if he would ever find a love like theirs. Although Peach had comforted him with the promise that he would meet someone special, his confidence in that notion was fading. The Mushroom Kingdom, as he saw it, was largely populated by Toads, amiable Goombas, Koopa Troopas, and Bob-Ombs, with hardly any humans in sight. Luigi was accustomed to seeing interracial couples back in Brooklyn, but the notion of interspecies dating was completely alien to him. He never entertained the idea of a romance with a Toad or Koopa Troopa. He believed that if he wanted to find love, he would need to return to Brooklyn should the opportunity arise. However, the thought of leaving Mario behind was too painful to bear for him. He would never dream of putting Mario in the awkward position of having to choose between him and Peach. It was equally unfair to put Peach in a situation where she might lose the only person that she had formed a romantic bond with, especially considering her home was a world devoid of human companionship. Thus, Luigi came to terms with the possibility that he might live his life without ever forming a romantic connection.

“Luigi,” Mario called with worry etched across his features, pulling Luigi from his reverie. “Are you okay?”

With a bashful smile, Luigi shook his head, realizing he had been caught daydreaming. The knowing look on Mario’s face confirmed that their twin bond had revealed his inner musings. He chuckled while scratching the back of his head in a playful manner. “Everything’s just fine, Mario.”

A faint line formed on Mario's forehead, a clear indication that he was not entirely convinced by Luigi's claims. Luigi let out a resigned sigh, anticipating the relentless questioning that would surely follow as Mario sought to uncover his hidden thoughts. To his surprise, Mario simply offered a gentle smile and rested a comforting hand on Luigi's shoulder, easing some of his tension. However, Luigi couldn't help but notice a strange undertone in Mario's smile, as if he were concealing a secret. Nonetheless, he quickly dismissed the idea, thinking he was reading too much into it.

~~~

What could Mario be hinting at here...🤔

[duckapus]

The Goomba Who Sold the World AU

Through some cosmic fluke(or just an accident during 3 and 4′s SMG training) an average Goomba with an average life and average ambitions gains the ability to see the Code and use Commands.He doesn’t really do much with it at first, just experimenting with the Commands to see what they do and using them for some minor quality-of-life improvements.

Then he gets to thinking, if these powers can improve his life maybe they can improve other lives too. So he starts subtly changing more things, giving the people around him what he thinks they need in a seemingly selfless gesture. But it...doesn’t work? They’re not happy, despite (because of) the changes, and he doesn’t understand. They should be happy! They should be grateful! Can’t they see that things are better now?! So he doubles down, trying to find something in the Command list that’ll fix things. And then he finds it, way down at the bottom of the Last Resorts section.

[command]>Manual_Override: Characters who see User will obey User without question and defend User at all costs. Does not affect Guardians, Avatars, Administrators, or Outside Entities.

And just like his previous commands, he uses this one as quietly and subtly as possible, not wanting to be a leader(or so he tells himself) but willing to become one for the sake of his Better World.

All of his happens so quietly that it goes completely unnoticed by the crew until they see a broadcast showing The Goomba Who Sold The World telling everyone to Find Mario and the four SMGs, along with instructions on how His World is going to improve.

The only ones not affected besides them are Lil Coding(since it’s the manifestation of 3 and 4′s code so their protection extends to it), Melony(its the one good thing that came from her getting possessed by Niles) and Steve(his Minecraft Server is a separate universe that happens to be connected to the main one, and he didn’t get uploaded like the Newgrounds characters did. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it). And despite there being quite a few powerhouses in the group, it’s still them against Literally Everyone Else(or at least everyone who saw the broadcast), so they’re definitely not gonna have an easy time of it.

[blazehedgehog]

Video game merch feels more accessible these days with a lot of storefronts for every company to sell stuff. But how do you feel about overpriced video game goods, like the ones advertised here? https://twitter.com/SQEX_MD_NA.

I feel like Square is a bad example because if Square had their way they'd probably sell all their games at $100 each. The "Square Tax" has been a term circulated for decades at this point.

I don't like most video game collectibles. They definitely look nice but so many of them come out at this point that I don't understand who has the space for them all. It makes me think of like, LootCrate, which thankfully isn't around anymore, but how it was basically just a pipeline to flood Ebay with promotional junk.

Like you search "Play Arts Kai" (which I think Square owns?) on Ebay and there are 7,600 results. If you search Nendoroid, you get 66,000 results. I don't know who has the space or the money for all this stuff. And obviously neither do they, if they're selling it all second hand.

There's something I remember stumbling upon once. It was a company like First4Figures, but instead of making video game statues, they made like, busts of dinosaurs from Jurassic Park. Like you were a hunter, you killed a Velociraptor, stuffed it, and mounted its head on a plaque. Some of them were life size. And they were hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars. For what it's worth, they were very nicely detailed. They looked like movie props.

I found out about it through some Jurassic Park fansite. Maybe it was during production of the Jurassic Park SNES video. And everybody in the thread was over the moon with hype, talking about the ones they already had, talking about getting the new one, and I had the same question then: who has space and money for this?

As I thumbed through the forum thread, the conversation shifted, and I got my answer: at least some of these users had been cycling out old busts by selling them on Ebay as a down payment for the new busts. Instead of spending $650 on this immaculate and very heavy dinosaur head, they were only spending, say, maybe a third of that.

But then who are these being made for? If people are constantly chasing new pieces and flipping the old stuff, does the old stuff just end up in a landfill eventually after changing hands enough times? Broken, and unloved?

It's a world I can't understand these days.

Like I got these guys recently because import hobby shop Suruga-ya was having a "free international shipping" sale so a bunch of Japanese merchandise was stupidly cheap. I think Dedede was like $3 and the Goomba was like $2.50

Even them, I got them here and looked around my room and realized the one shelf where all my amiibos and figures and stuff go is getting pretty full and I don't have the room to put up another shelf.

So like I said, it's a world I don't get. A lot of it seems like junk nobody actually needs, but they get it in their heads that this is how they define their love for the fandom they're in. Like "Of course I'm a fan because I spent thiiiiiis much" on what is ostensibly $10 of PVC.

[delightfuldevin]

I read your Mario Lore/Headcanons dump fic on AO3 and it was!!!! SO GOOD!!!!!! And so cool???? The Luma Luma life cycle the Stars being gods the inclusion of the Thunder and Fire dudes from Super star Saga, the Power up list, but mostly the Mushroom/Koopa kingdom backstories!!! Thousands of years of war ended because some guys were bad parents! Amazing!!

It was so well explained I couldn't for so long think of any questions for you because I understood it so well you wrote it all so clear and understandable I feel like I just pulled a History Book off a self in Peach's Library it's sooo coooooooool

Anyway tell me about the Borealis Kingdom!! What happened to it? Was Rosalina just a citizen or royalty? What were the people like? Any information you have on it I'm sooooo curious!

“I feel like I just pulled a History Book off a shelf in Peach’s Library” IS PROBABLY THE MOST AMAZING AND WONDERFUL COMPLIMENT I’VE EVER RECEIVED IN MY LIFE???? THANK YOU!!!! Like!!! That means so so soooo much to me!! This world is practically my home and all the stuff I make up about it is essentially me trying to have a deeper and cohesive understanding of it and that just makes me feel very *incoherent babbling and squealing while shaking my hands*

Okay anyway about the Borealis Kingdom!! Rosalina was the princess! Her parents were King Vega and Queen Rosetta (yes I stole that from Rosie’s Japanese name nxbcjscbs), and I don’t have a name for her brother yet rip x^x. I don’t have much info on the people themselves, just that they worshipped the Stars and made ritual wishes to them frequently. The kingdom fell shortly after Rosalina was called into space. Like, probably within a decade or so.

The relations between the Borealis and Koopa Kingdoms were neutral for the most part. They weren’t enemies, though they didn’t consider each other allies either. Tensions could’ve easily rose at any time, but it never happened. During this time, the Fire God was still active in the Koopa Kingdom, so the Koopas were perfectly content with life and showed no interest in relations with other kingdoms.

Goombas and Toads are both native to the Borealis Kingdom and its surrounding areas, but their populations only began to grow substantially following the kingdom’s fall.

…And that’s all I’ve got! I don’t have too much info on pre-modern era stuff, but I hope you enjoy this small amount of info nonetheless ^^”

[photog-crafty]

You'd think a big, spiked behemoth like the Future Shock Cerberus would have packed some serious firepower, wouldn't you? Nope. You and your passenger each got nothing but a dinky flamethrower that barely reached beyond the chassis and couldn't singe the wings off of a mosquito. In fact, the Cerberus' weapons were more prone to damaging itself than its aggressor, and you couldn't even switch to handheld weapons as a backup. Nevertheless, it still looked totally badass, especially flying through the sky at the hands of someone who had mastered the shunt boost.

Sasquatches were a common sight among friends and crew, because a giant jumping monster truck is something everyone can enjoy. I went with the Apocalypse variant, because the Future Shock was a little too weird, even for me. Strangely, GTA monster trucks were never much good at crushing cars, typically pushing them around and occasionally toppling over instead, but at least the Sasquatch could jump on top of them like Goombas. I wonder if it was a subtle metaphor for IRL monster truck shows moving away from car crushing and shifting to racing and stunt-themed events. As long as I can still BUY THE WHOLE SEAT BUT ONLY NEED THE EDGE SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY

The Wastelander was such a goofy thing. It was used in scripted missions as a vehicle transport, but there was no way to actually transport vehicles with it in regular gameplay, so you were just left with this oversized hauler that took up two lanes. When we pulled it out of the garage, it was usually to ford one of the western rivers or to bring an obnoxiously huge vehicle to a car meet.

Sometimes I thought about buying a Technical just for the fun of it, but I could never justify the purchase, because I didn't need it and the Insurgent did everything it could do. Then the Technical Aqua was introduced, which solved the dilemma cleanly. Once it was in the water and not getting the barrels hung up on streetlights and pieces of geometry, it was a good time. The game really could have used more things to do in the water on the main map.

Most of the special vehicles that came with the Import/Export update were used to test and try out new features on cars, like the Phantom Wedge's plow, or in this case, the Rocket Voltic's jet engine. This car was literally just a Voltic with a rocket engine installed in the back. It took a little while for it to recharge, but back then, we didn't care and just had a good time with it. Even after newer and better vehicles with rocket boosts were released, the Rocket Voltic still had a niche in baiting griefers hiding in passive mode into taking a ride and being forcibly ejected without a parachute 400 feet above the ground.

To this day, the Ruiner 2000 remains the single most expensive land vehicle in the game at 5.7 million GTA-bucks, or 4.3 million with the trade discount. That's on top of the 2.5 million you needed for the office and warehouse to store it. All those millions didn't really seem worth it until years later, when it was discovered to be one of the best ways to bully Oppressors. The Ruiner 2000 was nothing special by today's standards, with only eight missiles, a jump function, and a parachute, but owning one opened up access to the Fully Loaded VIP job. Fully Loaded gave the player who started it a unique Ruiner 2000 with infinite missiles, Mobile Operations Center armor, and immunity to missile lock-on, in addition to turning off police for everyone in the session for 20 minutes. Seeing those two words pop up was like hearing Gabriel blow the trumpets, and every crew member in the session knew it was time to bring about the griefer's personal Götterdämmerung.

The last Ruiner in my collection is this one here. The ability for muscle cars to wheelie was added to the game a few years after it came out on PC, breathing new life into the class by adding a traversal option, so I needed a Ruiner that didn't date back to 2015. Much more care was put into its appearance, with true white crew paint, glass t-top panels, and a drink in the cupholder for that extra lived-in touch. It was my daily driver for quite some time and eventually retired to a place of honor next to my nightclub's office, where it could still be part of my GTA life up until the very end.

One of my all-time favorite IRL cars is the Ford RS200, a 600HP monster masquerading as a quirky '80s grocery getter to the untrained eye. GTA paid respects to its Group B origins with the GB200, and the conversion was pretty darn faithful. It was a little pokey at the top end because it was released during the developers' obsession with "advanced" handling flags that only served to hamper performance, but that didn't stop me from throwing it down the dirt roads and beaches all day.

The Brawler was another obscure off-road sports car that only a game like GTA would feature. It was based on the Local Motors Rally Fighter, a lifted limited-production car powered by a Corvette motor. It was just as fast as its real-life counterpart, but in a twist of fate the Rally Fighter is likely much safer to drive as the Brawler was infamous for having brakes made of gas station toilet paper. You needed a co-driver to watch the trail well in advance or you'd be parking it in a ditch, which was a fate worse than death in the dark ages of 2015, well before the ability to dismiss personal vehicles was added.

Sometimes you just want a truck. The Caracara 4x4 was added to the game well after the original Caracara failed to sate demand for an F-150 Raptor, and it was an apology well accepted, with great aesthetics and capability. I'm not really a fan of CCSB trucks in real life, but the four seats were welcome here because I drove this thing everywhere. Lots of other people did too, and the Caracara 4x4 was a regular sight in public lobbies well after it faded out of being the new hotness. Flying in the face of memes about American truck owners, people who drove trucks in GTA were almost always total bros and very chill. It spoke volumes about someone's personality when, in a game full of multi-million-dollar exotics and futuristic wondercars, they chose to drive a good ol' pickup truck.

[strawhatsufi]

something i appreciate about the FF games (7-X mostly these are always the ones I'm talking about) is that they kind of do address the orc problem in that whenever you do have expendable human mooks to mow down for exp, it's an explicit wartime scenario. and like all of these games have significant discussion of like. what it means to serve the organisation you're at war aganst. cloud is Ex-SOLDIER before he's cloud. squall is SeeD and its fucked up his life a lot. so you're not just attacking some guy from SOLDIER without context there is context. there's some weight to it.

this is a theme with lots of japanese games. sonic doesn't kill his enemies, he frees his animal friends from a contraption. the mario RPGs make it clear that the goombas arent permanently hurt. billy hatcher turns them back into their crow form. many such cases if you look.

zelda... zelda's a weird one. zelda's like mild japanese imperial nostalgia set in europe. i've felt weirder and weirder about the zelda series over time. still, in oot when you have a sentient enemy like a gerudo you're usually not killing it. when you do it's a character with dialogue and everything. by BotW you're clearly mowing down whole villages of fully sentient bokoblins who have culture and even the ability to make contraptions. dont like that

[weirdmarioenemies]

This is a post about GUBBLE

Gubble is funny, we all know this. Look at Gubble, look and giggle. But Gubble is not just something to laugh at, it is something to laugh WITH! It is a fun little game full of nonsense words and weird little creatures. I highly recommend reading the manual, which you can find here, as it is actually rather funny! I will be talking about some of my favorite Gubble Creatures! So here I am, posting a Gubble. It's Friday, alright!

Gubble D. Gleep

Oh hell yeah! Look at that rendering. I never want to see Gubble in a "good" rendering style. I don't think he would be able to breathe. Gubble is the main Gubble Creature. He is a funny alien! The gleep glorp kind! He has a wacky skin color and antennae, but his big defining features are his ears, which he is very proud of. I do not know how they work! It is weird to see an alien with antennae AND ears, since I always assume alien antennae are for detecting sound, but maybe Gubble's are like regular animal antennae, and are for smelling!

Gubble makes all sorts of weird noises as he flies around in his, I quote, "mini-spaceship pod thing". He uses that to unscrew screws and pry out nails and anything else he needs to do to detach Zymbots from the surface of the planet Rennigar, and Zymbots are the levels, and you see the word "Zymbot" a LOT in this game, and I think that is wonderful.

They even put "Zymbot" on the cover of the sequel! That only makes the information more confusing than it otherwise would have been. I am all for it! But what awaits you, among the Zymbots...?

Wangry Wobot

"They are red and they are angry. Unfortunately, they don't know what they are angry about, but they know they like to follow aliens around."

Look at this! See what I mean? The manual is so delightful! Wangry Wobot... such a wonderful name! This wobot is wangry... or I should say, this wobot is angry, because the description informs us that it is angry, and Wangry Wobot is its name. All it does is walk, but in a funny way, with those legs sliding back and forth on its body, not bending or anything. I love how flat and minimalist this thing is. Built and programmed just to walk around, yet built with the capacity for anger...

Wangry Wobot Wannabee

"They are not-quite-red (blue actually), but they want to be every bit as angry as the Wangry Wobots. They haven’t learned how to follow aliens yet, so they just wander around aimlessly. Pathetic, really, but oh well…"

Hey! Be nice to them! If Wangry Wobot is Gubble's Goomba, then the Wannabee is Gubble's Goombrat. These are even more endearing with their personality! They look up to Wangry Wobots so much, like a younger sibling or maybe even a child, a freshly hatched robot from a metal egg. I wish we had funny robots like this in real life, but the only ones they make in real life these days are evil. Hopefully it will one day be economically feasible to fund some funny robots that walk around town and do literally nothing but kind of get in the way. Would be cool!

FlatWorm

"These guys like to sneak up on you unnoticed and cause grief and misery."

Wow! I would not have expected to see notable Creature Representation in Gubble of all things, but here we have a platyhelminth that at least I think is pretty clearly a stylized planarian! This one is a funny shape, like a shoehorn, and has a funny depth to it, like it was cut out of a sheet of dough. Now, normally I would be telling you that no animal is morally bad, they don't have the capacity for it, but we are told in FlatWorm's description that it is, indeed, messed up and evil. Just get away from it, please! Get back to the zymbot! Had you forgotten about the zymbot?

Orb

"They just roam around over your head. They're orbs, ya know?"

I am not sure I know! But they are cool orbs! Good job making some orbs! Their eyes make them look like giant ostracods, the most orbtastic creature of all!

Slug Bug

"An example of the bizarre Rennigar fauna. Man, somebody must have gone pop-eyed when that monster was created."

Created??? These creatures were Created??? Even the non-mechanical ones? By who? Mad scientists? Gubble God? I don't know! Whoever it was, I don't think they know what a slug is, though. Pincers, segments, bristles, this is all bug, no slug! Like some kind of larva to me. The five eyes are goofy, but most insects technically do have five eyes, with two compound eyes and three little ocelli on top!

Drone

"Originally used as repair drones, these spidery-looking things will use their pinchers on you just as effectively. Stay out of their reach!"

Look, it's Drone! Like they keep putting in the cartoons to keep them timely! I am fascinated by the manual for calling these "spidery-looking", since it is clearly some kind of roboshark head with pinchy claws. Did you know? Real spiders do not look like robosharks! However, I am not saying the manual is WRONG. Maybe "spider" means something entirely different than the way we Earthlings use it. After all, we say "level" instead of "zymbot", like a bunch of knuckleheads!

Uurrgghh

"The stories go that the Uurrgghhs used to be somebody's eyes and were stolen. Now they roam back and forth looking for their owner. And if they can't find their owner, you would do as well. Want a pair of alien eyes?"

I will bookend this post with another of the silliest enemy names. We really go from Drone right to Uurrgghh. Awesome! Uurrgghh is almost a fantasy creature, a classic eyeball with bat wings, but it has this cool metal exoskeleton or helmet with droopy horns, and three tentacles emerging from the bottom, so it is also fittingly sci-fi, which I think is very fun. I don't think they looked like that when they were just someone's eyes, but put on this protective outfit to stay moist and healthy while flying around with no eyelids. Would you welcome them into your sockets? They don't HAVE to replace your current eyes. They could all be friends!

So those are just some of my favorite silly things from Gubble! If you did not know much about Gubble, I hope you have a new appreciation for it! Be careful out there on those zymbots!

[duckyfruitbat]

Drawn to Life

I remember playing this game as a kid. I borrowed it from my brother and I enjoyed it. Now sixteen years later I played it again and realized that I didn't appreciate it nearly enough. This game is so delightful from the characters, the story, even the art style. I could gush about this for an entire review, so I'll do just that.

The main plot follows two child hood friends named Mari and Jowee calling upon the god of their world to help revive their village that has fallen to a darkness that came about from a fellow villager deciding that he can do better than god and stole a powerful holy relic eventually destroying it causing the world to fall into ruin. By the time the game proper starts, the world is nearly done for being stuck in an eternal winter with the sun gone. All seems lost until the creator starts talking to Mari as she's having a crisis of faith. Yeah this game has some religious themes, but because of the setting, it is pretty easy to put aside and it doesn't really push one religion over another. If anything they're more allegorical to any real life religion.

In game you play as a hero created from a mannequin that you can draw on, but in reality you are the creator of this world. I am a god with the ability to doodle dicks all over the world.

Given the stakes at hand I decided I needed to take it very seriously, so I made a blue fox with read hair that I named Bingus. The drawing mechanic is more of a gimmick in this game, and is not really a focus of the game play. Really its more of a standard plat former, it's a pretty solid one though. Each level is simultaneously a rescue mission for three villagers and a hunt for pages of the book of life. You can't complete the level without those two missions complete. Each group of villagers has one named and the other two are more generic.

Art style wise, we have that classic pristine DS pixel art going on. The environments have a lot of detail, and I also noticed that with just a little bit of care, you can make your own creations fit in pretty well. Something fun about the named villagers is that they have their own unique animations that pretty well convey their personalities. For example there is a thief whose animation is constantly looking over his shoulder, there's a security guard who is clearly inspired by the secret service who is always on his phone, no doubt going over the security detail, there's an astronomer who's always looking up while shielding his eyes from the sun.

The enemies are also just wonderful on the eyes. The common enemies the Baki, this game's equivalent to goombas, are just so adorable and are so expressive, I love them and would end society for them. There are also the shadow enemies created by the main villain, they give the feeling of being simultaneously being made from ink and smoke. The animation and the designs of the enemies are just something I can't help but to just stop and look at. It's just so pleasant on the eyes. Which has also cost me a number of lives.

Story wise it really sticks in my head. It has a progression in how things get more serious. The mood is tied to the mayor and his office, at first he gives off more the feeling of just trying to provide sanctuary from a dying world, but eventually his mood changes to "by Ducky's balls we actually have a chance to end this nightmare!" There is a subplot running throughout of Mari being propped up as the next mayor after her dad steps down at some point in the near future. Apparently the office of the mayor is hereditary here. She goes through an arch of impostor syndrome believing that she's not good enough for the title that is never fully resolved in this game, in fact it carries over into the next. (Spoiler alert) This makes the scene where the Mayor is murdered a heart wrenching moment. A character who is always there at the end of every level and mission who becomes a point of stability in the village is suddenly gone.

There are also plenty of moments of levity in between missions, one example is near the beginning of the game while the village is coming out of winter, the mayor sees Mari and Jowee throwing snowballs at each other and decides to have a village wide snowball fight. It's one of those moments I keep remembering, because it was just the villagers trying to keep their spirits up after watching the world crumble around them. Another point is when Mari and Jowee start getting theological about how the creator watches over the world, and Jowee ends up describing a DS. They know too much, I must smite them, BINGUS GET THE BINGLAR!

I mentioned this in the review I did on the Wii sequel, but this game has great respect for its audience. This is an E rated game on the DS but it doesn't use that as an excuse to cut corners with writing. Sure its a simple story with a coloring book gimmick, but peppered in it are details and moments that just tell me this game really cares about what its putting out there. It doesn't talk down to you, it doesn't handhold you, it treats you with respect no matter your age. I absolutely recommend this game.

[chefediaboiv]

Conversations with Jr. GGG Pt. 2

Remember going too hard at work, could lead to coming home to some uncomfortable situations. Nigga you caught us, keep complaining and you won't be able to play your station. I broke the remote, and it don't look like either testicle is changing places. Infact she volunteering arm work for changing faces, but I'm a bum look Chefe complacent. I bet at your workplace you only get spoken to when you need to be spoken too, staff wise hope the ratio coupable. Hey Mr Sister I'll be over here twiddling thumbs on the first game I play, wonder if it's twister. Shit a bandit is nothing without his trusty stallion, downtown doubting if shizu was even your girl. In No game No life can you vibrantly point to the episode we're these two said delete they're own world. Yo Goomba theirs facts, click click that ear wax. Is banning me your way of controlling a fart appearance, nice nice I know your hard of hearing. Let's dial it back, Netflix and chill. Nope I'm not passing blunt, you don't wanna know where is found it at. It was a epic journey, you better believe it. She thinks omen wishbones are for depositing demons, and the joy on her child's face will leave security paraplegic. Dawg I'm big with the top flight password, I'm elite is your e lite backwards. I don't like light bright bastards, now money hungry Hippo's they like Masters, lashings and degrees. Pinup dolls love looking for middle ground, she like omittin what she see's. I'm the machiatto in Carmela's clutches, her wearing my tee shirt is an entity reverb. It's echoed in prophecy I'd become my enemies teacher, if you caught a vibe it's just a beeper. I'll notify you when and if you move me, I kept the bleeper. You won't be able to bend the bars there no piss in your beaker. Lizzy McGuire'd your Shia Labeouf but sure scenes are scenic, I can mix and scratch even cersi believes it. For this spit roast she'll want a s'more, camp fire smoothies galore. Don't be so whipped cream puff, not so tough sugar dumpling. Had this whole scheme in place when you should've did nothing, she called Luigi when she needed her plumbing. You ever caught someone jumping from planetary shifts, plate techtonics is some scary shit. Its family night and we playing crazy 8s, I'm dealing so it may be safe but I don't show you what the prize is. Casino, check the feed and I don't show where the live is, DMC said something bout rounding collars, can I show you what the time is. You know the awkward pause when Oracle speaks with Keanu Reeves. Seems someone doesn't like the professional description the manuel reads. it's important you know how you treat a parrot pissed, tell me why every line you've been beat with a pair of dicks.

[cooledtured]

It’s-a Me, Mario, Nominated for a Family Film Award!

A familiar red-clad plumber, a catchy theme song, and an iconic green brother — yes, it’s Mario and Luigi, and they’re not just plumbing pipes this time! The Super Mario Bros. Movie has snagged a well-deserved nomination for Best Animated Family Film at the CBS Family Film and TV Awards, and it’s no surprise. This film, bursting with vibrant colors, heart-warming moments, and hilarious antics, has charmed audiences of all ages, proving that sometimes, a classic hero never goes out of style.

But what exactly makes The Super Mario Bros. Movie such a strong contender for the Family Film Award? Let’s jump into the warp pipe and explore the secret ingredients that make this movie a delightful recipe for family entertainment.

Firstly, the film masterfully captures the essence of the beloved Mario universe. With a delightful balance of nostalgia and fresh storytelling, it introduces both seasoned gamers and new adventurers to the fantastical Mushroom Kingdom. We see the bustling Brooklyn of Mario and Luigi, the whimsical plains populated by Goombas and Koopas, and the majestic Princess Peach’s castle, all rendered in stunning CGI animation. It’s a visual treat that sparks the imagination and invites viewers to explore, just like Mario himself.

The story, though familiar in its core rescue princess-defeat Bowser plot, feels refreshingly vibrant. It dives deeper into the Mario brothers’ relationship, showcasing their camaraderie and sibling rivalry with humour and warmth. The film takes its time establishing characters and motivations before plunging headfirst into action-packed sequences, ensuring even the youngest viewers can follow the narrative’s logic.

The narrative avoids bogging down the non-technical audience with gaming references or complex lore. Instead, it relies on universal themes of family, friendship, and overcoming challenges. Jokes land without requiring detailed knowledge of Koopa troop formations, and emotional moments resonate with anyone who’s ever cherished a sibling or dreamed of heroic adventures.

But a great family film isn’t just about the story; it’s about the experience. The Super Mario Bros. Movie shines in this aspect too. The soundtrack is a nostalgic symphony of classic themes and catchy new tunes, sung by none other than Jack Black himself as Bowser. The voice acting is superb, with Chris Pratt and Anya Taylor-Joy breathing life into Mario and Peach, and Charlie Day’s Luigi proving to be the breakout comedic star.

Visually, the film is a feast for the eyes. Every frame bursts with vibrant colours, detailed textures, and dynamic camera movements. Whether it’s Bowser’s fire-breathing fury or Mario’s acrobatic leaps, the animation is fluid and engaging, keeping even the most restless attention spans glued to the screen.

So, is The Super Mario Bros. Movie a worthy contender for the Best Animated Family Film Award? Absolutely! It captures the spirit of adventure, celebrates the power of family, and delivers a fun, visually stunning experience that will keep audiences of all ages laughing, cheering, and maybe even humming the theme song long after the credits roll. So, whether you’re a lifelong Mario fan or discovering the joys of the Mushroom Kingdom for the first time, be sure to tune in to the CBS Family Film and TV Awards and join us in rooting for our favorite plumber brothers. It’s-a me, Bard, saying you won’t regret it!

 — — — — — — — — — — — 

DANIEL SIMMONS | Writer POP-COOLEDTURED SPECIALIST cooledtured.com | GROW YOUR COLLECTION

[jerricocreates]

Alright, this is going to be a weird one, but what's new. I've been taken by Mario Wonder and something caught my eye as a DnD idea, The Wonder Flower. Let me lay out why it's such an interesting idea to steal for DnD. Keep in mind, I'm not very far into the game, so later stuff in the game may change this.

The Wonder Flower produces any number of wild magical effects on the world around it.

It can be as small as a small localized area or as large as the entire level.

These effects seem to be able to summon creatures and objects, bring life to objects, or change and alter the world around it. Conjuration and Transmutation respectively.

There is an argument for Illusion to debate. There is a chance the effects are hallucinatory and we are seeing it from the characters perspective. However, you can interact with the effects and bowser can use it to steal a castle. There's a debate there, but I'll file it under less likely.

Presumably, the effects of the flower can be targeted or somehow wielded and enhanced by a proper mage. While all the flowers I've seen in the game do the same thing in the same level, I highly doubt that first flower Bowser touched is the turn-you-into-a-castle flower. If that specific flower only did that, it seems like it would be easy to test, and unwise for the inhabitants to bring to the prince's castle.

These flowers are presumably some level of rare. Even though every level has at least one, they seem to only grow as one flower. Most flowers I know of grow in patches of multiple flowers, just because of the nature of sowing flower seeds. There is an argument that they grow in patches and are relocated around the kingdom, but that seems unlikely because of my next point.

And this is the big one. The only way to neutralize the effects of the flower is by using a seed of the same flower causing the effects. It seems that stronger effects require more seeds, which is why you need to collect them to deal with the piranha plants Bowser left to block certain levels.

Lastly, every house in the kingdom carries a seed. Presumably, these flowers are so widespread in their growth that every citizen of the kingdom keeps a Wonder Seed in their home in case a flower goes off nearby and turns them into a Goomba or something. They even seem to recognize that the Wonder Flower can be enhanced, because they give you the seeds. They recognize that, "Hey, if this Bowser guy is powerful enough to harness the wonder for his own purpose, then whoever is trying to stop him is going to need plenty of seeds to nullify his magic."

I'm very inspired by this concept. I'm picturing a region of the Feywild that grows these mystical flowers that cause wild magic upon the local area. The longer a flower grows for, the stronger its effect and the wider its coverage. Brave adventure delve deep into the magical area to find the flower and harvest a seed from it to neutralize its effects. Chaotic mages may even seek strong flowers out to study and harness its power for feats normally impossible by standard magical means.

[duckapus]

The Goomba Arc

Super Meme Bootcamp

SMGs 1 and 2 are disappointed to find out that 3 and 4 have been somewhat neglecting their Guardian Training ever since the God Box and decide to put them through a week long crash course with Mario and Lil Coding’s help. Chaos inevitably ensues, and this time it’ll have far reaching consequences

Mario Replaces His Water Heater

Exactly what it sounds like, and for once all hell breaking loose isn’t even his fault.

New Demigod on the Block

There’s a County Fair in town this week, and Mario, SMG3 and Melony all end up deciding to go together. There they meet Franky and a very quiet, seemingly human teenage boy with orange-and-black hair and bright green eyes he insists is his new brother Desmond. Melony and Desmond turn out to get along really well, so the two groups decide to join up and enjoy the fair together. All the while unaware that they’re being watched from the shadows…

As it happens, Desmond has a lot in common with Melony, specifically pre-Zero Melony. He doesn’t really say anything, is curious about and confused by all sorts of relatively mundane things, seems to have Narcolepsy, and is weirdly empathetic towards and protective of sports equipment, of all things. When she decides to address it and figure out who-or what-Desmond really is, their stalker comes out of hiding, revealing himself to be the not-so-Happy Mask Salesman, who’s come to retrieve the masks the two of them are using.

Turns out Desmond was originally Franky’s basketball, and was changed into his current form when one of the Salesman’s masks landed on it after being stolen and lost by the Wario Bros. So the reason he’s acting like Sleepy Toddler Era Melony is because he sort of is Sleepy Toddler Era Melony! The Salesman has been tracking said mask ever since its theft, and this time he’ll stop at nothing to reclaim his property, as evidenced by him actually using one of his precious masks to turn into some giant monster(doesn’t really matter which one) and attack.

That attack is countered by Mario and 3, who’ve jumped in to keep the Salesman busy so Melony and the kids can get to safety, because between Mario initially creating her in Mario’s Home Alone and 3 bringing her to life by coming up with her weirdly elaborate backstory, she’s Kinda-Sorta-Maybe their kid, and like hell they’re gonna let this nutcase take the body and power she worked so hard to be able to call her own.

So now the action’s split between Melony sprinting away from the battle through the fair while carrying Franky(because Toads have no legs) and Desmond(because he’s asleep again), and the battle itself, which is also moving through the fairgrounds and gets progressively more chaotic as time goes on, especially when 3 manages to snag some masks and turn the Salesman’s strategy against him. Interestingly, 3 has some trouble adjusting to the new forms while Mario just sees them as particularly elaborate Power-ups. There’s even one particular moment where Mario puts on the Mario Mask and becomes the godlike Double Mario, though it doesn’t last long.

Eventually they all end up in the middle of a melon growing contest, the Salesman decides “fuck it, if you’re gonna fight fire with fire then so am I!” and sticks Majora’s Mask on the first place winner, a Minecraft melon three times the normal size(grown by Steve, of course). The result doesn’t end up being Majora’s Wrath as usual, but a woman who’s basically “If Melony was a foot taller and cosplaying as a Majora Giginka,” with an out-of-place bright blue hair ribbon and much longer, more yellowish-green hair

As you might expect from someone desperately invoking a demon, the Salesman gets blasted into the middle distance before she zeroes in on her counterpart and starts attacking her with demonic claws and whips, because apparently being created with specific intent lets you skip the Sleepy Toddler phase and get straight to God Powers. So everybody’s trying not to die, except Desmond who’s somehow still asleep, and Mario decides to start to call the evil melon girl “Welony” which she sort of just goes along with for some reason, and eventually she’s got Franky by the throat and is preparing to gut him like a fish, which is when Desmond goes from “I Sleep” to “Real Shit?” and slams her across the area and away from Franky with a shield bash, because now he’s got Galacta Knight’s lance, shield, wings, horns, and eye color because apparently that’s the mask he’s been wearing. And we get to hear his first real line.

“Don’t. Touch. My Brother.”

They manage to drive her off after that, mostly because even though she skipped the Sleepy Toddler personality she still has the Sleepy Toddler low power reserves, and then they go back to enjoying…what’s left of the fair.

Marcy vs. Retail

When Marcy realizes that sticking around the Mushroom Kingdom to harass her brother is going to require funds, she applies at a local supermarket and somehow gets hired. So now Karen is stuck teaching a violent, short-tempered assassin how to be a cashier, hopefully without landing either of them in jail.

Mario Lives in a Society

Alternatively, Mario and Luigi versus the Annoying Homeowner’s Association. Finally, Mario gets to use his obnoxious personality for something productive.

Animation vs. SMG4

Through an incident involving SMG4’s PC, Tari’s arm, and a can of Diet Sprite, most of the crew ends up on Alan Becker’s computer and Crossover Shenanigans ensue.

Detective Luigi; The Case of the Missing Boopkins

Bob and Jubjub are beside themselves with worry when Boopkins doesn’t show up to pick the latter up from the playground, and go to their friends for help. The crew is more than happy to look for him, with Luigi in particular getting Really Into a Noir Detective roleplay so he’ll have the right mindset for mystery solving. But even though they practically turn the Kingdom upside-down and end up solving a few tangentially related mysteries in the process, there’s no sign of their fishy friend anywhere.

Until he shows up on TV.

On every channel.

Standing on a stage next to a Goomba.

The Goomba Who Sold the World

A Flashback episode, detailing who the Goomba was before he got his powers, what he’s been doing in the background of all the episodes, and why Fishy Boopkins is working for him. Then it catches up to the present, where he makes his speech about how he’s going to change the world and what they all need to do to help him. Including catching Mario and the SMGs. The episode ends with the three of them and Lil Coding surrounded by their clearly controlled friends.

Mario: Most Wanted

Thanks mainly to the fact that Melony was immune to The Goomba, the group just barely manages to escape the Showgrounds, only to run into the Military, obviously led by Chris and Swag(it’s deliberately unclear if Swag actually saw the broadcast or if he’s just going “hell yeah Swiggity Swooggity Comin’ for Dat Phat Italian Booty”). Thankfully, they then get picked up by Steve in his farm truck, which also has SMGs 1 and 2. And Marcy, who apparently doesn’t watch TV and only heard the broadcast on the radio, which had no effect since the User has to be seen for Manual Override to work. The group works together to flee the city, including one terrifying scene where Joe Motherfucking Boopkins is after them!

A “Perfect” World

An episode with barely any Mario, or even jokes, in it, showcasing the bleak, cookie-cutter world that The Goomba seems to think will make everyone happy, whether they want it to or not. It also shows Boopkins’ current horrible situation as The Goomba’s assistant, and his gradually deteriorating mind and body.

Mario Plays Minecraft Mods in an Undisclosed Location(ft. Steve)

This is a terrible idea, but SMG4 argues that with things as they are now the world needs Memes more than ever, and besides, it’s something to distract their two known troublemakers while the others are shoring up their defenses.

Welcome to the Resistance

Bad news; despite their best efforts, somebody managed to find the group. Good news; the people who found them are on their side. As it turns out, Professor E. Gadd’s eyesight is so bad that the Manual Override couldn’t trigger even with his glasses mostly correcting things. So he did what any sensible Mad Scientist would do under these circumstances and went out to find other people not affected. The results:

-Karen, who was making dinner, heard the kind of shit The Goomba was spewing and went out to change the channel back to something decent, and was smart enough not to look at the TV when she saw what it was doing to her kittens.

-Franky, who has similar eye problems to the Professor.

-Desmond, who just slept through the whole thing.

-Kaizo, who has never listened unquestioningly to an authority figure in his life and isn’t about to start now.(yes, he managed to beat mind control through sheer force of delinquency.)

-And Hal Monitor, who actually was affected, but went through a hard reboot when one of The Goomba’s instructions would’ve made him Break The Law.

E. Gadd then got to work on a way to block the Override for the members of the team who weren’t immune, using Hal as a willing test subject since he had a reliable un-brainwashing method built in, and through trial and error managed to invent Anti-Hypno Shades(which use the same model as the Octo Shades from Splatoon 2). Meanwhile, SMG4 has his own contribution; he’s managed to get in contact with the Stick guys from Alan’s computer, bolstering their numbers even more since the five of them have the same Outside Entity Immunity as Steve. So now that the full resistance is assembled, it’s time to make a plan.

Meanwhile, in Adminspace

Aka the reason why the Hologram Trio hasn’t been doing anything about this mess; they have, it’s just that what they’re doing involves Domain and Emulator doing a Deep Dive into the game’s Code to figure out what the hell happened, how to fix it, and how to prevent it from happening again, while Forum’s trying to keep the Higher-Ups from doing something drastic. It’s…mostly going well?

Stormin’ the Castle

The Plan is deceptively simple. The Sticks, an army of assorted Minecraft Mobs, Kaizo and Desmond will cause as much mayhem and damage as possible in the city as a distraction, while the rest of the resistance(minus E. Gadd and Franky, who are acting as mission control) sneaks into the Showgrounds Castle, which The Goomba has repurposed as his base of operations. The inside team will find The Goomba and pin him down long enough for Melony, 3 and/or Lil Coding(the three teammates best at code manipulation) to deactivate Manual Override and revoke his Command privileges, hopefully all without getting spotted. Unfortunately plans rarely survive the first phase, or rather the corn maze, which is apparently now a thing that surrounds the castle.

As you might expect, this means they have to deal with Rob in full Lord of Corn mode, as well as the rest of their friends, before they can reach the main event. And when they finally do fight their way to The Goomba, he’s ready for them, and in his arrogance challenges them to a type of War they’re more familiar with…

WOTFI 20??

The challenges are standard WOTFI fair, aside from any of them involving Boopkins who is extremely Out Of It thanks to his dehydration and more severe brainwashing. As usual, it’s the Rap Battle that’s the true main event. Turns out that Marcy and Hal can sing pretty damn well. And when it’s coming down to the wire and nearly everyone’s pinned down by The Goomba’s borrowed might, it’s Steve of all characters who turns out as the MVP, finally, after over a decade of silence, going into his settings and turning on Voice Chat. The result is lyrics so fire that they change the genre of the song, as well as giving the expected second wind that allows the hacker trio and hologram trio to finally depower The Goomba and free everyone. They’d probably have ended up stomping him right then and there, but Hal’s in the group so Due Process must be followed lest they anger him.

After that, we get the standard sendoff scenes. Recovery, reunions, rebuilding, parting of ways, Marcy insists that she’s still the group’s enemy so long as Bob isn’t in the clan and 3 kindly doesn’t call her out on the same bullshit he used to spew after every team up.

And Welony might still be out there, but The Goomba Who Sold the World is powerless once again, and he’s going to be in prison for a long, long time.