#but its first season so maybe thatll change

[wonderarium]

ive done it. ive finally started watching the x-files.

[single-malt-scotch]

no really i am still thinking about this. because like, what the hell was going on when he begged jimmy to kill him. jimmy was the one person who was going to die if he didnt take it and he did. so sure, it was very much down to the final minute. and maybe it was because jimmy always dies first and he wanted to help him! but my god the frantic begging of that whole ordeal and everyone freaking out and bdubs' no hesitation, comes up and offers himself.

and then he does it again. to etho, who definitely isnt going to die for good at that moment. and even before that, his offer martyn couldve been excused. but really hes just going around doing that huh. and jimmy took him up on the offer- i wonder if bdubs will do it again and if more will take the offer. the reason why this all feels so dreadful is because if someone does die with one 1-2 hours they will still be left with some minutes to live out- everyone around them will realize they dont have much time and the desperation to get more time hits but, for pretty much all of them there is no hope for them to get that time unless theyre really really good at getting a quick kill or someone offers themself.....even then its not much. not enough.

bdubs' offering to jimmy didnt do much in the end. and bdubs lost a whole hour due to it. he offered it to someone he wasnt even really close to in the season, hardly interacted with directly. hes defended people quite strongly numerous times, and if he follows the willingness to give up his life for anyone whos trying to hard to not lose their last minutes, i worry how thatll go. the idea that his generosity may be enough to kill him is interesting to say the least. and even if he does start to cut back as his own minutes run down, i dont doubt the conflict he'll face about it, as hes often shown himself to push against fate when hes unable to change whatever is already locked in place.

man? bdubs willing to sacrifice himself twice in one episode? is he going to do it more even as he himself gets more desperate for time??? why is he like this. why is he so willing and kind. i feel as if this behavior comes out when something bigger than them is threatening their lives you know. like, personal relationships will sting when they hurt forever in his eyes but something no one can control or stop- time- puts everyone in danger and hes so willing to be a shield

[always-evergreen]

I literally want you to answer all the book q list qs. Thx

haide ur a disaster

putting under a read more bc I dont want to clog up ur dashes

1: What book did you last finish? When was that? - I finished 1984 this afternoon!

2: What are you currently reading? - currently reading zodiac unmasked by Robert graysmith

3: What book are you planning to read next? - a confederacy of dunces by john kennedy toole

4: What was the last book you added to your tbr? - the chronicles of Narnia (as a re-read)

5: Which book did you last re-read? - the Christmas mystery by jostein gaarder. I read it every christmas

6: Which book was the last one you really, really loved? - I read the picture of dorian gray last month which I rlly enjoyed

7: What was/were the last book/books you bought? - I bought the whole raven cycle earlier

8: Paperback or hardcover? Why? - paperback bc hardback is rlly unwieldy

9: YA, NA or Adult? Why? - tbh im not overly fussed:/

10: Sci-Fi or fantasy? Why? - fantasy! I think bc I grew up reading harry potter and Narnia and stuff like that im just always gonna have a real love for fantasy stuff

11: Classic or modern? Why? - hmmm I guess classic? but I dont rlly mind

12: Political memoirs or comedic memoirs? - comedic bc I dont understand politics and I like to have fun

13: Name a book with a really bad movie/tv adaption - its not terrible but the first one that comes to mind is the book thief, just bc I love that book sm and the movie didn't quite live up to what I wanted

14: Name a book where the movie/tv adaption actually was better than the original - I cant honestly think of one at the moment

15: What book changed your life? - hmm maybe lord of the rings?

16: If you could bring three books to a deserted island which would you bring and why? - fahrenheit 451 bc its my favourite book, the book thief bc it was my first favourite book, and the statistical probability of love at first sight just bc its sweet and fun and the other books are serious

17: If you owned a bookshop what would you call it? - haven would be cute maybe

18/19: Which character from a book is the most/least like you? - combining these two bc I genuinely cannot think of an answer, ive never really seen a lot of myself in any characters or consciously thought that a character was nothing like me tbh:/

20/21: Best summer/winter read? - also combining these bc I dont change my reading habits based on seasons

22: Pro or anti e-readers? Why? - I dont have anything against them but I dont use them, just bc I prefer physical books

23: Bookdepository or Amazon? - idk what bookdepository is so unfortunately I guess amazon:/

24: Do you prefer to buy books online or in a bookshop? - bookshop all the way! I love bookshops so much!

25: If you could be a character from a book for just one day who would you be and why? (Bonus: any specific day in the story?) - pretty niche and also I cant rmmbr her name but I just spotted the girl who circumnavigated fairyland in a ship of her own making on my shelf and that little girl has a pretty baller life so ill take a day in fairyland please and thank you

26: If you could be a character from a book for their entire life who would you be and why? - no thanks! I feel like that would turn into a massive bummer eventually

27: If you could change one thing about mainstream literature what would you change? (i.e. more diversity, better writing, better plot etc.) - tbh I dont read a lot of modern mainstream books so I dont rlly have an answer to this

28: How many books have you read so far this year? - mmm 11 or 12?

29: How do you sort your shelves? (i.e. by color, author, title etc.) - by author im not a monster

30: Who’s your favorite author? - ray bradbury

31: Who’s your favorite contemporary author? - mmm maybe david levithan?

32: Who’s your favorite fantasy author? - tolkein babyyyy

33: Who’s your favorite Sci-Fi author? - I guess thatll also be Bradbury lol

34: List five OTPs - I would prefer not to I dont rlly have ships anymore

35: Name a book you consider to be terribly underrated - I cant rlly think of anything tbh

36: Name a book you consider to be terribly overrated - lolita suuuuckssss

37: How many books are actually in your bookshelf/shelves right now? - approximately 200, with abt 35-40 in piles on the floor ready to be donated

38: What language do you (most often) read in? - english

39: Name one of your favorite childhood books - just got a sudden vivid memory of the animals of farthing wood which tbh? slapped

40: Name one of your favorite books from your teenage years - ooft uh ill go w the night school series bc I for real fucked w them so much when I was like 15 lmao

41: Do you own a library card? How often do you use it? - I dont think I do

42: Which was the best book you had to read in school? - oh that's gotta be fahrenheit 451 and even though its not technically a book ill put twelfth night up there as well

43: Are you the kind of person who reads several books at once or the kind of person who can only read one book at a time? - I can do either and dont really have a preference

44: Do you like to listen to music when you read? - occasionally, sometimes I find it hard to concentrate w music on but sometimes it doesn't bother me, depends on the mood

45: What is your favorite thing to eat when you read? - something that wont make my fingers greasy lol

46: What is your favorite thing to drink when you read? - I dont normally

47: What do you do to get out of a reading slump? - read a couple of short books just to ease myself back into it

48: Where is your favorite place to read? - my bed, but recently been enjoying the back garden when its sunny

49: When is your favorite time to read? - I like reading at night just before I go to bed

50: Why do you love to read? - it was instilled in me pretty young bc both my parents are big readers and I guess I was kinda shy and awkward when I was a kid (still am actually lol) so it was kind of a shield/escape? also im a fucking nerd

[dauntless-dragayn]

nobody asked for it, but i liveblogged my She ra s3 reactions

[ part one ┊ part two ]

spoilers, obviously (under cut bc it’s rather long)

episode one

DAMN THEY DID NOT HESITATE TO DIVE RIGHT INTO SHIT

(oh yeah this is a split season so that makes sense..)

FUCK SHADOWEAVER FUCK SHADOWWEAVER

Angela loses points for not having a proper prison but gains them right back for not letting Adora in to interrogate Shadowbitch

Glimmer: we shouldn’t let her manipulate you

Adora, immediately: //decides to manipulate / trick her friends

Side note, interesting episode title..

Adora’s friends: //arent fooled at all THANKFULLY

adora honey youre a terrible liar. and your friends are too smart

Catra bby..

SCORPIA BBY

Catra: i cant handle this emotionally vulnerable shit

GOOD THEYRE WATCHING ADORA

Aaand theyre asleep

Oh this is great

Glimmer’s target practice cjdhjdnf

Oh Adora wants to change Shadowbitch.. honey.

GLIMMER IS WITH HER GOOD

ANGRY GLIMMER !!!!!! PROTECTIVE GLIMMER !!!!!!!!!

God Adora calling out Shadowbitch is everything

LET HER DIE

DONT HEAL HER

GDI

YOU CANT TRUST HER

Fuck this is cool

Shadowbitch’s two reasons for (SUPPOSEDLY) turning is to get revenge on 1) Hordak and 2) Catra While im sure Adora is all behind the first one, she certainly wont let the second happen.

Okay but who SENT Adora through that portal??

“Don’t I get a say in what happens to me? Don’t I get a choice?!”

:’0

The worst thing about this is that LightHope is basically telling Adora the same thing the Horde did: you dont have a choice over your life, your ambitions, your responsibilities. Fuck LightHope.

“It is happening again.” HM

“Are you okay?” “I’m not sure yet.” baby.. i felt that

episode two

What a COOL shot of Adora

Fjejhd of coUrse Glimmer didnt tell her mom

Poor fucking Angela

Ive never related to Bow more in this moment ⁃ bird ⁃ Trying to navigate whEN FUCKIG GOOGLE MAPS ISNT WORKING- coughs i mean, the navigator machine

Oh shit Hordak cares about Entrapta

ADORA PUTS HANDS AROUND HER EYES IN PLACE OF BINOCULARS SKFBFJFNMC

“Just act tough” oh yall are so bad at this

its Her time

I just watched this clip of Huntara last night

Adora is gay

Huntara is also gay she was just FLIRTING with a WOMAN at the BAR

 The ‘purposefully gets names wrong’ gag will always be my favorite

ADORA’S ~TRYING TO BE SMOOTH~ VOICE IS HILARIOUS BUT ALSO.. 👀

 anybody got a map? oh wrong show sorry

listen i cant blame Adora how could you NOT be in love with her

OH SHIT WE CAN SEE HORDAK WITHOUT HIS ARMOR

Ugly ass twink bitch

Adora getting an outside perspective on the war and how it effects Etheria should be interesting

Wait where are Glimmer and Bow ?

Adora being called “blondie” 👌👌

ADORA WANTING TO IMPRESS HUNTARA ️‍👌🏳️‍🌈✨

Oh theyre there they just fell behind

Huntara led them into a trap didnt she

Gdi

Oh she took Adora’s sword fuck I mean ofc she did but mm That would be her only chance of escaping

HORDAK HISSING AT ENTRAPTA DKDJF

Okay Entrapta is a top

Hordak is a clone?? Bitch what

//falsely sympathetic voice/ aww hordak just wants to impress his higher up with planetary conquest..

they even called this expedition a roadtrip awe

Wow theyre really playing up this Hordak + Entrapta friendship and bonding huh

Oh Glimmer is such a badass

ADORA JUST FUCKING TACKLED THIS WOMEN WHOS TWICE HER SIZE TO THE GROUND

Bow: awkward HAH of victory

Glimmer: sticks her tongue out at the enemy

God i love this battle sequence so much

THE MUSIC!!!!!

Im watching it again

Adora’s laugh before she says “I AM She ra”  😍

Theyre both ex Horde soldiers oh shit!! One so trusting and one so fearful, so closed off to anyone

“I’m not gonna run anymore. I face my problems head on.” fuck yeah!!!

Netflix referring to Bow Glimmer and Adora as the “squad” omg

-rewatching the fight scene from 18:30-

diD HUNTARA JUST ROAR LIKE A LION?!

I love the repeating of lines to each other thats such a good trope too

“Thats mine!” ”Then come and take it.”

Also I like seeing Adora fight and pull off really cool moves but not like, flawlessly. Like her backflip- she almost falls. Or when she swings Huntara’s sword and it doesn whip out at first.

HUNTARA JUST ROARED AGAIN

ANOTHEr EXAMPLE OF THEIR MIRRORING IS WHEN HUNTARA HOLDS ADORA’S HEAD UP WITH HER SWORD AND THEN SHE RA DOES THE SAME

Thats totally foreshadowing the connection of their backgrounds with the Horde huh

The “‘You know about She ra?’ Heheh, I AM She ra” moment is so good okay I need to call it out again. The way she flashes her sword in front of her face? Amazing. Spectacular. Im gay-

The end of this episode be like: //women supporting women

Mara’s ship!! Dun dun dunnn 

episode three

Edgy Catra in the Crimson Waste shot: ✔️

“Nothing matters anymore!” :(

Hey that place looks familiar!

Isnt Scorpia FROM here?? How does she not know anything about it??

“Maybe I should have skipped force captain orientation eh?” THIS RUNNING JOKE DKFNFK

Catra bitching about Hordak is a whole mood

CATRA HISSING AT THat FROG THING SHE PUSHED FROM THE COUNTER IM-

Wait satyr lady never said the second rule Prettyyy sure the second rule is that no one annoys Huntara, but shes not here! So what the hell are YOU gonna claim it is?

Catra’s monologue in the bar is everything

Catra stealing the jacket is such a ME move i see a leather jacket i go feral

Bow you’re such a nerd ily

Well duh the ship is empty its been looted for years

Do your She ra thing i bet thatll uncover something //wiggles eyebrows

Yeehaw! Look at that i was right

Its not haunted theres a repeated message echoing ..

Scorpia you’re gay

Also IM gay Catra in a jacket is 👌😩

HER ORDERING PPL AROUND AT KNIFEPOINT IS 👌👌👌😩

 Aw look at Scorpia in her element

“Im gonna call you Kyle” KDHFKDJFJFK

Catra’s little smirk.. ️ ❤️️ Scorpia’s reaction is a whole mood

THEY DO MAKE A GOOD TEAM! ITS A GOOD THING SCORPIA FOLLOWED YOU HERE INTO EXILE H U H CATRA

That giant skull tho

OH ITS TIME IVE SEEN THIS CLIP

announcer voice: ITSSSSSS TONGUELASHOR

listen i know he’s an idiot with a dumb name and catra kicks his ass but i love me a buff lizard person,,

a broadcast.. oH ITS MARA HERSELF

“And I am gone.” sounds like.. something someone would say in a message if they didnt want to be looked for and found

Adora ... :(

Your frustration is so warranted

I wish i could give her answers

OH SHIT ITS MARA BUT NOT SHE RA-ED THIS TIME

“I was supposed to be the last.” wh..

Even Tongue Lashor’s insults are dumb

SCORPIA INTERRUPTING TONGUE LASHOR IS PRICELESS

HE EVEN SAYS “WHIP” KDHFJ

Catra mimicking his evil laugh..

Listen imma say it again (my scalie is showing) Tongue Lashor’s design is great

Catra just winked at Scorpia, yoURE GAAY

 @ Mara’s dialogue.. that was uh. A Lot The biggest thing that jumps out to me is the fact that theyre in an empty dimension?? And the fact that Mar BROUGHT A WHOLE PLANET there. Thats some real power. Oh yeah, and LightHope is lying / working against the She ras / wants to bring destruction to the planet. But thats not surprising

Oh hey darts! Now who took the dart gun..

oh thats right!

Catra and Adora time baby

 HEY ADORA

Adora is uh,, alone captured by Catra

This should be interesting

SCORPIA IN THE JACKET THOOOOO

“A toast to Scorpia” //clutches chest

Hey yall this is cute but reminder that cattadora is endgame

“When we go back” nahhh

Also fuck Catra heard that hologram??

CATRA BLUSHIG

“We could rule the Crimson Waste together!” Scorpia you are SO gay

“I have to go check on the prisoner” her ex

“Shadow Weaver left me for you..?” Uh fuck

She has tears in her eyes oh bby

I cant believe im already halfway through the season jfc fuck split seasons

(part two is up now!)

[poor--taste]

1: Are you named after someone? Not that I know of. Ryan was the 13th most popular name the year I was born.

2: When was the last time you cried? I tear up over really emotional scenes in games and movies, but i cant remember the last time i full-on cried.

3: Do you like your handwriting? I do. Its messy, but I hold my pen weird so i kinda have an excuse maybe?

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? chicken or dat turk

5: Do you have kids?                                                                                         NAH

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yeah. Im a good listener, and I diffuse difficult situations with humor.

7: Do you use sarcasm? Yeah, but never mean spirited. Thats no fun.

8: Do you still have your tonsils? Yeah

9: Would you bungee jump? Sure. Im afraid of heights but I’d still try.

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? Basic 4 is great. Waffle Crisp if I want something more sweet. Honeycomb is good because you can eat 17 bowls.

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope. I specifically look for shoes thatll slip on/off easily. Like if they have a leather patch on the heel so they slip on smooth... mmmmm. I only tie them when they untie themselves.

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? Pysically I’m decent. Mentally, I try to be someone people can lean on when they need.

13: What is your favourite ice cream? Ever, ever? Ben n Jerrys makes this peanut butter chocolate ice cream with cookie batter.

14: What is the first thing you notice about people? Are they taller than me? If theres a smile involved, is it genuine? Does their voice match what I would assume it to be from their appearance?

15: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? wow that is one awkwardly phrased question idk ive gained a bit of weight in the past couple years that im not too happy with

16: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? Greyish blue undies and no sox because its the middle of the night you philistine

17: What are you listening to right now? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSBybJGZoCU

18: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I was in a play about crayons when i was in kindergarten and I got the gold crayon part. I wanted blue though.

19: Favorite smell? Pine. Or lots of different types of cut wood I guess. Forests. that chemically smell when you open a video game case for the first time

20: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? pops

21: Favorite sport to watch? Ugh curling is a great chill sport.

22: Hair color?                                                                                                   Who knows???

23: Eye color?

~idk it changes with the season~ and ~sometimes its gray~ and ~other times its blueish greenish brownish~ etc etc. theyre green

24: Do you wear contacts? naaaah. vision is good for now

25: Favorite food to eat? Eggplant Lasagna. I like making it, then eating it like picking it apart layer by layer. Also like chicago style pizza. Despite being really bad with chopsticks, I like trying my best with ramen and sushi, too

26: Scary movies or comedy?                                                                           comedy. I love psychological horror but most scary movies are just bad gore and jump scares, which suck.

27: Last movie you watched? Last movie I saw in a theater was Rogue One. Last movie I watched whenever was probably Central Intelligence?

28: What color of shirt are you wearing? Greyish blue too

29: Summer or winter? Winter fo sho. Hate the heat. Love being able to bundle up to stay warm. Cold air in my lungs.

30: Hugs or kisses? idk hugs are good general purpose, but kisses are for special people. I guess kisses because that would imply you have someone worth kissing, which is good

31: What book are you currently reading? Nothing. I downloaded a light novel for an anime i liked a while back, since its the only way to find out how it ends (the anime ended prematurely). Anyway yeah, downloaded it like a month ago, havent touched it.

33: What is on your mouse pad? A picture taken by @seriouscoin. Pretty sure its a laser pen/light up close, then I think he adjusted the color. Reminds me of the artificial star in the movie Sunshine.

34: What is the last TV program you watched? I saw a few commercials from the superbowl. That counts, right?

35: What is the best sound?                                                                             The low hum of my fan in my room. really big wind chimes. being outside at night when everything is completely silent.

36: Rolling stones or The Beatles? Beatles. Mom played them allt he time when I was growing up so theyre close to my heart. Rolling stones has some amazing music too, but im wayyy more into beatles.

37: What is the furthest you have ever travelled? Ive been all over the east coast, but not any more south than North Carolina.

38: Do you have a special talent? I used to be really into singing! I still have a good ear for things.

39: Where were you born? A catholic hospital.

Ill tag @wallyscags-patronus, @manseyfuls-patronus, already tagged seriouscoin

[adambstingus]

Are You The One Season Finale Recap: Just Put Me Out of My Goddamn Misery (PART TWO)

Since everyone bitches and whines about how long my recaps are, I separated them into two parts. Pick up a book, you lazy pieces of shit and read part 1 here >>

Chuck is like, were not going to win so next match ceremony Im picking Britni and everyone is like Chuck and Alec start yelling at each other and having a food fight, which pisses off Alec more because hes a firm believer that you should never waste food.

Alec: WE SHOULD NEVER QUIT Chuck: Eat a dick dude

Chuck goes up to push Alec, which is a huge mistake surfer brah, and Alec shoves Chuck to the ground like hes made of paper. Alec, congrats, your ovaries have officially transformed into a small chode of a penis. Gotta start somewhere.

Britni is like You would shove Chuck, who btw looks like a Ken doll version of the lead singer of AFI, for money?! Thats some shit ONLY poor people would say. Britni, people have done way worse shit for way less money. Read a book, tune into the news, watch Empire (or read my recaps).

Rashida and Devin are like And I agree. I did not sit through 10 weeks of this retarded shit to watch yall give up.

Devin is like If I can get this fresh batch of mentally incapable humans to win this stupid fucking reality show, it would be equivalent to the greatest feat in sports history. Which sport? Speed walking? Turn on ESPN Devin, I fucking dare you.

Zak and Hannah are mourning the fact that they arent a match, and tbh, I am too.

Cheyenne is talking to Devin about how he is disrespectful and is like

Devin: (actual quote) Im a shit head, but not a total shit head. – I honestly dont even need to try and be funny for these recaps, they all say enough stupid shit where I dont even have to try.

THE GAME

Chuck is like, I was hammered last night and said dumb shit and Im going to actually play this thing. Thank god Chuck, otherwise I seriously would have cunt punted you, and your little dog too! (Britni)

The game is the easiest one of the season: its an obstacle course with girls sitting on their back. There is a true/false section, where if the team guesses it right, then they get 30 seconds off their time.

Zak and Kayla are in first, which is crazy because Zak might be the smallest out of all of them. Alec is terrible with this shit and is back to being a giant bitch.

Melanie and Tyler go to the true or false thing, where Mel admits she offered Chuck a threesome, which is a new low.

Kayla and Zak win, being the Italian stallions. Rashida and Devin get second and Mel/Tyler get third because they answered the question right- aka, Mel is a closeted freak.

Stacey is talking to Nelson about how she has no idea who her match is and shes talking so fast I could have sworn it was a Gilmore Girls episode. You can def tell Stacey is fucking hammered in this, but its cool. I love Stacey. And apparently so does Nelson. Okay whatever.

Meanwhile, Alec is flirting with Amanda and Kiki is like WTF. Which is literally her reaction to everything- WTF.

THE DATE

Theyre hanging out on fucking boat that doesnt even have a bar. That sounds like some Life of Pi shit.

Devin and Rashida are flirting and shes like except this shitty white guy with a butt chin.

Zak and Kayla are like you remind me of my family so they must be a match- some fucking Freudian shit right there. Chelsey the aspiring psychologist is probably fucking creaming her pants somewhere in the distance.

Tyler and Melanie are like, were besties and Tyler thinks thats code for match but Mel was like,

THE TRUTH BOOTH

The group makes a smart decision for once ,(they probably all broke out in hives afterwards because we all know they are allergic to brainpower), and send Zak and Kayla to the truth booth. Hannah is like Hannah save the stupid lines for Hunter please, babe.

Zak and Kayla make their way to the truth booth, looking like a set of fraternal twins walking into their grandmas 90th birthday. Not gonna lie, Im stressed right now. Im on bottle number 2 of wine, and shit is REAL rn.

Results are in and- THEYRE A PERFECT MATCH! YAAAAAAASSSS.

Everyone is screaming and jumping while Hannah is like, . Its okay Hanz, its not like these matches are real. Those rules arent even real! They were real that day I wore a vest!

Alec and Kiki are flirting and they are drunk AF and Kiki is like Shes talking about how she got stupid fucking matching bracelets for her perfect match and Im like

Devin is doing his shit math again using red solo cups, I feel like an algebra class is being taught in a frat house. Aka this shit is dumb AF.

They determine there are two scenarios- one where Kiki mtches with Alec, and one where she doesnt. Guess which one best friends forever bracelet Kiki wants?

The decide to use deductive reasoning and rationality.

Jk, they decide to flip a fucking coin. I CANT RIGHT NOW WITH YOU PEOPLE. Hunter is like Here is a quarter and ew, I dont trust anyone who has change offhand like that. Get a fucking debit card, you hillbilly fuck.

Kiki is upset because they get scenario one, but you know if the coin flipped for the scenario she wanted shed be like PERFECT! ITS ALL SETTLED, THIS COIN IS HOLY.

Tyler is like, Fuck your heart Tyler, fuck it. Austin is like WOAH you need to figure this shit out. Like I dont mean to sound aggressive, but if you fuck us all over were probs gonna stab you.

Never did I ever think that the game would rest in Tylers hands. Take a drink to that.

THE FINAL MATCH UP CEREMONY

Devin is like, there is a high possibility we lose- not high, almost definite. But he thinks they chose scenario one for a reason, that reason being a coin flip.

Ryan gives some speech about love and how they need it and its like, save it Ryan. Empire comes on in 20 minutes and I need to get this show on the road.

Austin is first and he picks Britni– basing it off the fact that he wanted a girlfriend who would be a ghost for most of their relationship and they would get together eventually when it was convenient. You know what thats called? A fuckbuddy. You came on a reality show to find a fuckbuddy. May I suggest Tinder next time?

Hunter is next, and Ryan is like, do you all have a strategy? And hes like clearly fate isnt on our side, so we decided to do a coin flip. So, fates not on your side, and you decided to rely on it again? Seems legit.

Ryan is like, And Connor and Chelsey are like

Hunter picks Hannah, which is a weird match but whatever I dont care anymore. Im gonna be honest, this whole season I thought Hunter was secretly gay.

Devin is up next and he picks Rashida. Rashida, girl, I have been praying for you. Clearly I am a sinner because my prayers have not been well received. My b.

Tyler is up next and were all on edge. Hes like I think Melanie is my match truly and this is the biggest plotline he has had all season, so hes rollin with it. Tyler ends up picking Cheyenne, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Alec picks Amanda, and Kiki is like WTF (again). What is she gonna do with her bracelet?!!!!

Nelson picks Stacey and RyDev is like, And shes like, Okay, thatll work. Cant wait for an invite to the wedding.

Chuck is up next and gives an inspiring speech. Well, it would be inspiring if he wasnt talking to a band of idiots who put their fate in a coin toss and if he didnt look like a homeless folk singer.

Chuck picks Melanie. Shes like, well this sucks because well never date because hes still fucking Brittni. Maybe you can get that threesome you wanted, skank.

Kiki is last, and ends up alone, well, because her match is Mike. #tbt to Mike. LOL. She shows those bracelets to Ryan and Ryan tries so hard not to fucking vomit on her. Kiki is like I am not confident at all Mike is my match and honestly, ditto.

The beams and RyDevs dramatic hand motions begin. They get 4 beams, which they have never gotten before, so #progress..They get a 5th, then a 6th, then a 7th. Everyone is on edge as fuck, and I am stunned into complete silence at home. Even my boyfriend, who has migrated out of the room is whispering no fucking way to himself. Idk if he is saying that because hes surprised Im silent for once, or surprised that they just might actually win.

They get 8 OMG, They literally need one more to win the fucking game. Im shaking.

THEY GOT TEN BEAMS! THEY WIN THE FUCKING GAME.

MIRACLES HAPPEN (queue song from The Princess Diaries)

MTV IS THE LAND OF DREAMS

IM CRYING

IM SCREAMING, I FEEL THINGS

Okay, Im back. Wow Im hammered. So its made clear- either MTV is a magical place where miracles prevail, or this shit is staged AF. I mean, we all saw The Hills.

Wow, thats it for this season and this truly unique group of escaped mental patents. Thanks for reading, even though, lets be honest- I made your shitty Thursdays infinitely better. And to the cast who read and tweeted me, thanks for having a thick skin. Low key surprised I havent received a death threat from Britni by now. Good luck existing in the real world, you all are sure gonna need it. And if youre ever in California, come buy me a beer, because god knows I deserve one for putting up with your shit.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-season-finale-recap-just-put-me-out-of-my-goddamn-misery-part-two/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/178560286887