#but its fineeee if its homemade right

[nyxypoo]

who wants cookies

[etc-greys]

Season 14 Episode 3: Go Big or Go Home

Songs of the Episode:

Hey Mama by Maggie Eckford

Footprint by Molly Kate Kestner

Free Francesca Blanchard

Whatever You Want by Billie + Air

Synopsis:

This week's episode opens with Amelia reviewing her scans, Mer angrily/grumpily cleaning the house, frustrated that no one in the house is taking responsibility, and Bailey making sure the hospital is in tip top shape for the Harper Avery. Deluca wants Amelia to tell her family about the tumor and she shuts him down warning him not to violate HIPAA. We get the pleasure of seeing Alex run through Seattle... ahhh that man is FINEEEE!!! Everyone notices Grey’s new grumpy attitude (even Zola, who woah we actually get to see Mer’s kids this season, yay!)

Back at the hospital, Owen’s sister is healing faster than normal which is amazing, but is making Owen fearful that she’s going to leave soon. Mer is ignoring Nathan, but is glad to see a familiar face (but sadly not under the best circumstances, given he’s a patient) her old therapist Walter. He’s in the hospital due to a huge (nearly record breaking) clot, and all the interns want in on his surgery. Mer jokes that now he’s the one who “needs the tape and glue guy” (season 12 reference to when she was seeing him and just wanted someone to patch her up instead of unpack all of her baggage).

Arizona is in bliss with Carina, while April’s going through a lot at home. Jaggie has a moment where Maggie casually fixes his collar. Harper Avery arrives with everyone on edge and he’s a jerk. Meanwhile, Amelia’s arrogant mentor Tom arrives to remove her tumor, in which he tells her that “she hasn’t been of sound mind in years.” Great guy right? Wrong he’s horrible. Harper calls Jackson, Jackie (what? hope that nickname doesn’t stick) and is downright disrespectful to him.

Mer talks to Walt about her grumpy mood and they try to dissect the root of it. Amelia tells Webber about her tumor and Tom tells her that she’s not to work on any patients in her state. He also says she’s been a danger for years, since the tumor has been growing for over 10 years and has affected her impulses, moods, and planning. He even has the nerve to bring out Herman’s case, in which he faults her for her going blind.

Arizona has a pregnant patient who can’t have an epidural and assigns Warren to keep an eye on the patient because she’s a high risk case. Jolex has a steamy elevator scene!!!! Jolex was paged to a peds case where the kid’s hot air balloon for a hoco pro (homecoming proposal) went awry, and the balloon got burned onto his suit. But he’s dying to know if she said yes to his proposal.

Owen vents about Amelia to Megan when she’s had enough. She gives him some perspective when she tells him all she’s been through and how she’s feeling in comparison to his problems. Across the hospital Deluca tries to slyly tell Maggie about Amelia’s tumor through apologizing for the way things ended between them, but she totally misses the point and accepts his apology and thanks him for manning up. Mer continues to talk it out with Walt and explains how she’s been there for Riggs through everything with Megan, and he points out the love triangle. She says she’s done with them since she’s been a part of them all her life: her hubby (Derek, Mer, Addison), and raised in one (Ellis,Thatcher, Webber). He then asks her if Riggs is in love with her, and on cue he walks in... Maggie and Riggs present a risky new procedure to clear the clot and when they ask him to consult with his family over the major decision, we find out that he lost his wife 10 years ago, one son hates him and he hates the other.

Tom is surprised they didn’t see the signs related to Amelia’s tumor growth and she regrets calling him. April explains what a hoco pro is to Jo and Alex, when the girl Pete (the teen) shows up. They found his homemade sign in his pocket and ask for him, but the girl’s a bit skeptical. Webber tries to relate to Amelia by showing her his tumor from years back. Instead of getting comfort, she tells him that it's not a real tumor, that he is and he gets salty and walks away.

Mer is skeptical about the procedure for Walter and voices her concerns. After, she goes back to Walt and criticizes him for having similar problems. Carina recommends that Arizona’s patient seeks natural pain relief through sexual stimulation and Arizona thinks it's a bit too controversial and won’t let them do it. Back at the meeting with Avery things are not going well and he blames the women in charge for being too personal.

Amelia’s fearful that given how long this tumor has been growing, she may have placed her past patients in danger so she starts reviewing all her charts. Webber offers to take a look, proving that she in fact had a lower mortality rate than her brother Derek even with the tumor. He then tells her how important it is that she tell her family.

Jo and Alex make fun of Kepner over the hoco pro while in surgery together. She takes it to heart and explains that she wants them to maintain their teenage ideals because growing up changes everything. Walt questions Mer as to why she went for Riggs. To which she said that he got her given his situation with Megan and knew he couldn’t replace Derek. Walt is immediately impressed that she talking about her feelings and with himself for her growth before going into cardiac and respiratory distress.

Harper Avery pulls the funding for the hospital and then Bailey stands up to him, explaining herself and her decisions. Which is extremely impressive, but awfully threatening to a man in power, so he fires her and lets the hospital keep its funding. April intervenes when the girl wants to say no to the Hoco Pro. She tells her that “life is too short to care about your social media status!” Amen! YES APRIL! Robbins and Carina share a sensual moment, just as they find out Carina’s method works: baby starts crowning. Amelia finally tells Maggie about the tumor, in which Amelia finally lets her guard down, and cries. She asks Maggie to help her tell Owen and requests that she tell Mer because she can’t since Mer has always said she was crazy and this would prove her right and that’s what hurts her most of all (I mean if that doesn’t make you sob idk what will!) and they cry together. I must say their performance is magnificent!!

Katherine and Bailey try to figure out how to fix things with Harper, but go to find him.. dead. And with relief (I mean this man was mean, disrespectful, and by no means loving) they tell the hospital about his death and accomplishments. Bailey feels like a fraud and feels bad for staying chief, but Warren takes care of that ;). Mer waits for Walt to wake up post op and tells him she figured it out before she confronts Riggs who is packing to leave. She tells him that he betrayed her by betraying the dream they both had of their loved ones returning to them. She tells him to fight.

SUPER CUTE/CHEESY JOLEX MOMENT Jo does a hoco pro by waiting for Alex by his car and asks for him to move back home while holding a Homecoming? sign. I MEAN COME ON THAT’S ADORABLE. Tears of joy... tears of joy (no no not them, me).

Owen’s angry with Amelia, but stops in his tracks when he realizes the tumor on the walls behind her are her own. Maggie tells Mer. Amelia gets admitted with Owen at her side and then Mer jumps into bed to comfort her. They’re all by her side now.

A few additional thoughts:

It broke my heart to see Amelia in pain, especially when she thought she had caused harm to her previous patients. When Webber told her that her mortality rate was lower than Derek’s, not only was I impressed but I was so proud of her. Everyone has always doubted her ability given her past with substance abuse and of course they compare her to her brother, but here she proved herself. But what’s interesting, is that if you’ve watched her journey on both Private Practice and Grey’s Anatomy, you’ll realize that we’ve actually never known Amelia without a tumor, given she’s been living with it for ten years. So what does this mean for her if she survives the surgery? Which is a scary statement, you know, the idea that she could die. I love her character and feel she’s grown so much throughout the years, even with the tumor causing some alterations. But that’s just it, if she survives, who will she be? Honestly we will meet a whole new character. But will she be okay? Will she survive the surgery unscathed? Will she still be able to be a surgeon? Really it all comes down to, what does the surgery mean for Amelia? Will she live or will she die? Who will she be at the end of next week's episode? Praying for you Amelia. <3

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I am so proud of Meredith’s development. She’s actually talking about her feelings and then acting on them. She’s growing and healing, which is a beautiful thing. She’s finally expressed her feelings about the way Nathan is handling things with Megan. He gets the opportunity most people only dream of, and as Mer said, he’s wasting it! I’m glad she gave him the push to fight for his love, even through the mess (let’s just hope he takes her advice to heart). Because well that’s what life is about sometimes, things are a little messy before they’re all you’ve ever wanted. There’s never a perfect time to fight for what you want or feel, sometimes you have to just go for it and clean up the mess as you go. This reminds me so much of Mark Sloan, where he tells Avery in season nine just before he dies: “If you love someone, you tell’em even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing, even if you’re scared it’ll cause problems, even if you’re scared it’ll burn your life to the ground [that parts a bit intense, idk if I’d go that far, but I get his point and miss him so much!], you say it and you say it loud, and then you go from there.” Because honestly at the end of the day, isn’t it better to know and maybe be wrong, heal and move on, than to wonder the rest of your life what could’ve been if you tried?

Finally: JOLEX IS MOVING BACK IN TOGETHER WOO HOOO! I mean did you really think I wouldn’t include them at the end… haha rookie mistake! But as you can see I’m so happy for them and Jo’s hoco pro was absolutely adorable! Their love is just so pure. <3

[talkingverbivore-blog]

Surviving Coolsvile as A Cashless Being

Since I got into one of the most prestigious university in a major that full of pretty dudes and gals who’s highly fashionable, many people who doesn’t know me might sees me as the it girl who got into that society of cool people.

Actually, I’m not.

I’m not the it girl. But the rest of the statement above is true. The society where I got in is full of cool people. Like for real.

I wont be surprised when one day I found dozens of my guy friend in college dressed up better than me. IT ALREADY HAPPENED. Many of them boys literally dressed up better than me. ME?!

The fact that I never expected myself to be really good looking is true. I mean, L O O K A T M E.

But then, I realize that I deserve to look good.

In my +- 6 months of college life, I only got 3 looks with 1 optional special look. I either go with a homeless look, i-slept-in-this-suit look, or i-got-nothing-to-be-paired-with-this-pants. Me and most of my friends here only shown up with tidy and professional look when we’re about to presenting something. So if you find a FISIP student wearing ironed shirt or collared clothes, unripped pants, and shoes, you can easily tell that they’re going to throw a presentation in one of their classes.

Actually those 3 looks were used a lot by my friends and seniors in FISIP because its totally fine to dressed up as anything you want. But most of them have a better clothes than me and it makes them look hella fine in their homeless look, while I really looked like an actual homeless.

The other problem is being surrounded by pretty girls. I go to campus with a bare face, tons of acnes, an eyebrow drawn on it and a lip something. I think I look good enough before I left my home. And then my friends shown up with rosy cheek on bb creamed or flawless bare face that looks hellaaaa fineeee. It is intimidating to be surrounded by pretty people.

I’m poor, full of acnes, no eyebrow, big legs, big pores, bold eyeglasses…

But then, I remember that I deserve to look good too.

I’ve been interested on thrift shopping since in high school but never had a chance to do it. My 1st thrift shopping experience is super fun and so tempting. I fall in love on buying cheap clothes. And what I found in thrift shop is not just the secondhand dusty vintage things, but also the tailors or brand leftover. That’s coming with price tag on.

I barely buy clothes. Maybe just once in a year. But when I knew more about this thrift shopping thing, I feel like I can go shopping anytime I want.

One day, when I was strolling around the instagram, I found this account called awkarinswardrobe or something. It filled with her clothes that costed my 3 months fee for writing. (I cri) You go, Karin Novilda! This girls must’ve had millions in her pocket right now. And for her age it is really something to be appreciated.

For cashless girl like me buying Karin’s look alike clothes (or any selebgram or any selebsomething’s clothes) with 100x cheaper price can only be done by thrift shopping. So try it sometimes! IT WAS F U N. In Jakarta, you guys can find thrift shop at Pasar Baru, Pasar Senen, Mangga Dua, and Poncol. But my personal favorite thrift shop goes to Pasar Baru (because it’s neater and full of air conditioner). And for my readers who are currently in Bandung, my friend’s friend once told me about a thrift shopping place called Pasar Jumat. I don’t know exactly where is it but you guys might know where is it so you can go there.

If you guys wanna know more about thrift shopping, I’ve wrote several articles related to that at cerita-kita.co.id THE 101s: http://www.cerita-kita.co.id/relations/detail/569/THRIFT-SHOPPING-101 SHOPPING HAUL: http://www.cerita-kita.co.id/relations/detail/570/THRIFT-SHOPPING-HAUL

I also started to upgrade a little bit anything else beside how I dress up. As I realize that thick and squared eyebrow doesn’t suit me well, I decided to do my eyebrow just as tidy as I could. Actually, my natural eyebrow shape is hella fine. ((((((It’s just barely seen by normal eyes.))))

And I watch a lot ofe natural homemade remedy treatment from Indira Kalistha ‘s youtube channel. She’s my favorite beauty vlogger. I applies several tips to myself and some of them really works on me.

Garlic and Lemons for acnes; this one HURTS but it’s super worth it

Olive Oil for hair growth; it’s amazingly done my hair and eyelashes

I do these treatments routinely this holiday. It is good because it’s natural and it’s WAY CHEAPER. (why am I so materialistic)

Rules #1. never try to look like something else that doesn’t suit you. just do whatever other people do, but in your own way.

If thick lips doesn’t suit you, don’t do it. If bare face with sweat after gym doesn’t suit you, don’t force yourself to do it. If you can’t be edgy like everyone, be an edgy you.

The key code are just; confidence + creativity

As I know more people than I used to, I grow to agreed that there’s no such thing as overdressed, underdressed, too much make up, too bare face… There’s no such thing as unattractive. What’s been there were just insecurities.

This whole post might heard like a cheesy motivational teenage guidance, but if I can feel like I deserve to look good then you have the same right to do so.

Love yourself, give it the treats it needs. If you feel like wearing too much make up and getting tired of it, you can wipe everything off and it will be just fine because you’re still adorable. If you wanna try to put make up on every occasion, go ahead and do it because you can.

Do anything that make you feel loved and good.

X and Os Avie