#but it's the matter of the principle he says. dust has to guess the password he says. well who's complaining when dust is in your skull huh

[triglycercule]

imagining this very funny totally amusing bit where dust (despite having a lot of pockets) makes horror carry a lighter for him (only because he can't be bothered to remember to bring one on him all the time) and horror keeps it in his head

but horror's a dick so everytime dust wants to smoke and he needs a light horror's always like "whats the password :3" (he actually said the emoticon i was the quotation marks) and dust has to guess. because horror changes it every time. and its never something predictable. and then he either just totally gives up on that cig or he has to forcefully dig into horror's head to get the lighter because horror's being a PRICK

now dust is shoulder deep into horror's eyesocket while horror is clawing and screaming and killer's just standing there behind them watching this unfold with that fuckass smile on his face (he can't get this type of entertainment anywhere else)

[neonnihilism]

homesick when you’re home

They sat on top of Gavin’s roof. The two of them used to sit up here with their group of friends, all up until the rest found weed and forgot about them. Now it was just Gavin and Dan. They didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, did nothing except talk to each other. They’ve shared secrets to last a million friendships. There was still a foot of space between them. Gavin’s hand was outspread between them.

Gavin turned to Dan. “I don’t belong here.” After a few second of silence, he took a deep sigh.

Dan thought about what to say. Of course they talked about deep subjects here, it was why they were so isolated here, so no one would hear. “Yeah?” is all Dan said.

Gavin nodded. “Yeah. I can’t explain it. This isn’t where I’m supposed to be.”

Dan didn’t understand it. He felt like this is exactly where he had to be in this moment. This felt like a lock and key finally meeting. Except Gavin didn’t feel the same. Dan was used to that. “Where do you belong, B?”

“I don’t know.” Gavin sounded tired, physically and emotionally. ‘I don’t know’ slurred into ‘I dunno.’ “Anywhere not here.”

“What, like outside of England?”

Beat of silence. “I guess. It’s just,” Gavin groaned. “not here! Doesn’t matter if it’s outside of this city, or outside of this country, or out of this continent, or out of this world. I don’t want to be here. Dan. I hate it.”

If Dan were braver, he would have taken Gavin’s hand then. Trace a few words onto the back of his hand. Would have done anything. Instead he turns to Gavin. “Sounds terrible, B,” he says.

Gavin looks back, and nods. “I feel like an alien here. Though, not with you. You make it better. Not as bad.” He rolled onto his stomach, ruffled his hair, put his face into his hands. “I should live in a big city. London or something. I’m too much for a little village town.”

“Too much what?”

“Just, too much. That’s it.” Another frustrated groan. “I want to blend in with the city. People won’t stop and look at me for any reason. It’s a big city, who cares if some guy trips over his own feet. There’s better things to be looking at. I want to camouflage. Pretend I’m one of them. I could even act like them. All shallow.”

“City people aren’t shallow on principle, you know that.”

“Let me fantasize, B.”

Dan raised his hands in surrender. “Go on then.”

Gavin is silent, obviously thinking. He sits up. “Or,” he says. “A rural town. Where I can hide away for months. Just be myself. Not worry about other people or how they view me.”

“You wouldn’t survive a day on a farm. You don’t even own boots!”

“That can be fixed easily!” Gavin laughed. Dan laughs with him. When he’s done, he sighs.

This isn’t where Gavin belongs, but it’s definitely where Dan belongs.

Then Gavin started learning everything he could. School was out for the summer, jobs were worked in the early afternoon. This meant Gavin had the rest of the time to mess about. First, he tried learning photography. Got a few bucks for taking pictures for neighbors, sending pictures to articles. Then, he learned about his computer’s hardware. What started as a routine cleaning ended with half his computer unscrewed and laying around on his carpet. When Dan opened the door, Gavin yelled, because he had just hit the computer tower. He stayed around, watching Gavin google every single part for identification. He watched him clean the dust out of it and watched him put everything together again. He sat on the floor for a few seconds.

Then he started taking it apart again.

Dan left the third time Gavin asked him to quiz him on computer parts.

Gavin bought better specs for his computer, which lead to more power, which lead to better pictures, which lead to more money, which lead to better specs. He was in that cycle for a year. When Gavin’s 17th birthday rolled around, Dan got him ‘Coding for Dummies,’ and didn’t see him for two weeks. By the time he came out of his sleep deprived and bloodshot eyes state of being, he knew linux. And was in possession of a coffee addiction. Dan took care of the second part, cutting him off from coffee.

Gavin never stopped at ‘good enough.’ When Dan stayed the night, he showed him his latest project. A few scripts, none of which Dan understood. Gavin was grinning hard, so Dan rolled with it.

“So what does it do?”

“Well. It hacks.”

“It does what? Gavin, what are you planning on doing with that?”

“I put a few words into it, maybe someone’s birthday, their dog’s name, graduation year, and out pops a password. If they used any of that stuff to make it, of course.”

“I still don’t get it.”

“It basically puts that stuff in random order until it makes the right password. Brute force.”

Dan nods. He waits for Gavin to acknowledge the second part of his question. What does Gavin want to do with this. It’s obviously nothing good.

Gavin never acknowledges it.

On Gavin’s 18th birthday, Gavin has a following. Somebody DDos attacked their school server, and with such a small class, it wasn’t hard for the rumors to start. Maybe it was Gavin, who spent all his time in the school’s library, writing scripts to get past the school’s firewall. Of course, going through firewalls wasn’t enough. A few months into senior year, none of the staff or faculty could log into the servers. They were being overloaded. Though, the staff never heard the rumors, Dan was panicked. One of them had to be, and it wasn’t Gavin.

“Relax, it was just a little attack. It wasn’t on anything special, just a school. The most time I could get is 10 years.”

“10 bloody years, Gavin. You’d be getting out of jail at 28. That’s terrible!”

Gavin just laughed. Nobody messed with him anymore, for fear of getting hacked. The A/V nerds flocked to him, looked up to him. Dan thought it would get to his head, but he was still the same boy he met in the first place. Still flubs on his words, still trips everywhere, still too lanky to control himself. He was just worshipped as a tech god at school.

He gets even more daring. Hacking into open-source phones, looking through pictures. He had no need for blackmail, though, he got enough money from photography. The photography had evolved right before their eyes. One day, Gavin was shadowing a slow motion photographer, and the next he’s buying phantoms left and right. Sure, hacking and programming did make money. He could offer his services to companies, to test their security or to strengthen it himself. But having the niche market of slow motion backing him up, Gavin was becoming a hot commodity. Local directors wanted him, badly. When he wasn’t filming or at school, he was in his room testing the boundaries of the law. Tips to the police did put a shiny buck in his pocket in between shoots, though. Serves criminal’s right for leaving evidence on their phone.

Then he got really cocky. Hacking into a CTO’s phone. Text messages, emails, and bank account info galore. First, Gavin started draining hundreds. Nothing he would miss. When the CTO upped the security, Gavin got cockier. He could access the CEO of the company’s laptop, and as soon as his phone was connected to it, Gavin could access the phone. He drained a little bit more. A few thousands here and there. A few months of that, with no signs of Gavin, he drained a couple hundred thousand. He was rolling in dough. Then, he saw the emails. Embezzlement. All coming from the CEO. Gavin placed a few backdoors to come back to. He drained 1 million. When the bells started ringing over at the company, he sent the proof of embezzlement to the government under someone else’s name. The company was gone and bled like a skunk, and now Gavin had more than a million dollars. He had no idea what to do. He couldn’t keep it.

The panic started setting in an hour after he realized what he was doing. Hundreds of donations went out under an off-shore bank account.

But by then, Gavin saw the light.

They sat on the roof again. Facing each other. Gavin had his legs spread out, while Dan sat cross-legged. Dan thinks about what Gavin said when they were 16 about once a month. It usually happens when they’re on this roof. He doesn’t know if Gavin remembers that night. He doesn’t ask, but he realizes he doesn’t need to. Gavin is silent, staring at his own hand. His fingers flex and spread out, then he closes them into a fist. He’s looks off the side of the roof, onto the small town with it’s splitting roads that lead to either pubs or stores, and that’s it. Dan can see his eyes unfocus on the terrain, just staring at the air.

He still doesn’t feel like he belongs here.

Dan turned away, looking at the other side of the roof.

They were just different. Dan belonged here. In this moment, in this town, in this country. On this roof with Gavin. If he had to imagine his one place, it would be on this roof. That isn’t the case for Gavin.

“I have more than a million dollars in my bank account right now.”

Dan felt woozy. He almost threw up. “You have-”

“This isn’t even the first time. Or even the second.”

“Gavin-”

“The first time, I knew I couldn’t keep it. I donated it all to a bunch of charities. The second time. I wanted the thrill of the first time. I spent a few thousand. Did the same thing as the first.”

“How-” When Gavin opened his mouth to cut Dan off again, he put his finger up. “No. I question, you answer. How do you keep this money in your bank?”

“Offshore bank account. Wiring the money to a bank in Switzerland. All I had to do was get the forms, ship them, have a million dollars, and done.”

“Is this legal?” “Offshore banking is legal.”

“I meant, is how you are gettin’ it legal,” Dan said.

Gavin stayed silent.

“Oh, Jesus, Gavin.”

“Who else can say they’re a millionaire by 19?”

“Entrepreneurs who worked for their money!”

Dan thinks. Thinks about Gavin, mainly. He was right, back then. When they sat on here and he talked about how he didn’t belong. He really didn’t. It pained Dan to admit it. That maybe, they were different. Too different. Dan had his future planned. Gavin went with the flow and his impulse.

That made this either really easy, or really hard. Dan’s planned future is why he wanted to be here. Dan looked at Gavin. He was already looking back.

“I’m joining the army, Gav.”

Gavin looked down.

“You were right. All those years ago. You were right, you don’t belong here.” Dan looked down as well. “You belong somewhere greater. Somewhere that can hold you and everything you bring with you. Not some rural town, raising sheep right next to a gravel road. London, or  Birmingham. Machester even-”

“Like Los Santos.”

“Yeah, if you want to go to America.”

Silence.

Dan looked up at Gavin. He was biting at his nails, avoiding Dan’s gaze.

“Gavin.”

“I got noticed, B. Extremely noticed.” Gavin’s voice was low.

Low enough to make Dan remember all of the times he fell in love with that voice. Every single time they were on this roof. Every time Dan thought about kissing him in the dead of the night, where no one could see them. Where Gavin would kiss back. He imagined it so many times that he could describe what Gavin’s lips felt like. Unpleasantly dry, but God, he would give up everything to kiss them.

They were too different. Gavin saw something he wanted-or rather, wanted him- and he’s willing to travel out of the country to get it.

Dan has been face to face with the one single thing he’s wanted for years.

He’s willing to travel out of the country to avoid it.