#but it's more interesting if they don't and spiral into questionable choices
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Regarding Bramble's perspective, I think it could actually be interesting if "Firestar was a good supportive mentor" was a delusion of his (like if Lionblaze claimed Ashfur was a good mentor for toughening him up), with the narrative/other characters aware that it really isn't okay, that Firestar's alternating support/distrust permanently damaged Bramble's confidence in himself. This event here could increase that self-doubt, making him more likely to trust Firestar's judgment over his own and therefore a more compliant deputy when they would otherwise conflict.
(Although yeah, a Brambleclaw who is aware and angry over Firestar's unfair treatment of him would be more spicy and work really well with the narrative this arc is trying to tell.)
Now for Firestar thoughts that don't fully diverge from canon but make for an interesting layer:
He knows Starclan chose Brambleclaw to help lead the clans to the lake. He also knows Leafpool had a dream, presumably sent by Starclan, that told them to appoint Bramble as deputy even though he lacked an apprentice.
And if he does exile/remove him from deputy position, then what? He would be punishing Brambleclaw after saving his life/killing his half-brother for his sake. If it's revealed exactly what happened, how much of the clan would agree with Firestar vs those who would side with Brambleclaw? And this will also reflect badly on Firestar's family: either Starclan/Leafpool made a mistake/misunderstood a sign, or she outright lied to get her sister's mate a higher position (as called out by Ashfur). Like-
(are we sure that actually happened that way? are we sure Brambleclaw isn't just caving to Firestar's longheld bias? are we sure Firestar isn't reaching for an excuse to choose a 'better' deputy? does Firestar's opinion outweigh Starclan's trust?)
The least conflict-inducing action is to leave out the Hawkfrost stuff, convince Brambleclaw to step down and say it was his own idea, but that's still going to garner a lot of questions/strong opinions. And then he has to pick a deputy who wasn't chosen by Starclan.
And while yes, Brambleclaw didn't immediately try to save him it's possible that he froze in face of an unexpected threat/hesitation to hurt the half-brother he had recently bonded with. Maybe Firestar misread the situation because he was on the verge of dying in a fox trap. Maybe he didn't hesitate out of ambition, maybe he doesn't have to worry about his new deputy. In which case he can't really punish him for making the right choice (and killing his brother), can he? Would it really be worth the effort and outrage? Isn't he supposed to trust his warriors regardless of their heritage, especially when he's seen Brambleclaw work so hard to be good?
But that doubt still lingers. Because if Brambleclaw hesitated once, he might hesitate again and next time he might make a different decision.
For awhile Firestar chooses to trust him (and keep him close to keep an eye on him), wondering with each conflict if this will be the moment that Brambleclaw fails that trust. Graystripe comes back but nothing changes, it wouldn't be fair to anyone to change the deputyship. But then the truth about Lion, Holly, and Jay comes out.
Sure, Brambleclaw claims he didn't know anything about it, and Squirrel and Leaf are willing to corroborate that, but can he really trust Brambleclaw to be truthful? How can he know for sure that Squirrelflight is just trying to keep her mate out of more trouble? Leafpool loses her medicine cat position and Squirrelflight gets the scorn of their clanmates, so shouldn't there be consequences for Brambleclaw as well?
Graystripe hasn't made bad decisions in a long time. Brackenfur is a perfectly fine warrior. Maybe he decides to change the deputy postion to someone more trustworthy.

Why can't it be about revenge though? Not for the father you rejected, but rather for the way he raised you as his apprentice? The constant judgement and fear, the way in which he instilled in you a sense of shame over something you couldn't change, the way he marked you for life with his name? Plainly, you should be way angrier.
Not to mention how untrue it is to say he is ThunderClan. The institution will remain without its figurehead. The whole point of grabbing the deputy position is to steer it yourself.
In short: stop being a fucking pussy and off him already.
#warrior cats#wc brambleclaw#wc firestar#interesting thoughts#fic ideas#i think these cats could use some therapy#but it's more interesting if they don't and spiral into questionable choices
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One thing that i found interesting, and one that surprised me, is that episode 3 reveals that game's narrations( and I suppose subsequently, Andrew's opinion) on Doug are actually quite incorrect: The game frames Doug as a spiness follower to Renee, and it's obviously done to highlight similarities between him and Andrew, but episode 3 shows it's really the opposite: At various points, Doug has been the decisive one of the couple, he made all of the story-relevant decisions, and notably, he's a pure soul, so he feels no conflict on them.
Rene on the other hand, is shown to be plagued by guilt, and doubts, and we see numerous examples of her struggling with her own decisions, and being on the cusp of making a right call, only for Doug to swoop in and make a call which he thinks she'd prefer, thus coddling her.
When Renee talked to her mother, it's Doug who steps in and turns off the phone, and reassures her that he has no regrets over their lives, thus making Renee happy.
It's ultimately Doug who contemplates consequences for kids over Nina's death and decides they turn a blind eye, Renee does say she's glad they see eye to eye, but she strikes me as someone who'd flip her opinion to be in line with Doug's because she respects him that much.
It's probably best shown in the scene with the surgeon: Rene goes in circles, asking about the payment, but then feeling guitly about the kids, rinse and repeat, being unable to make a choice as she doesn't want to sell them off to die, but it's Doug who decides to take the deal, and Renee flips immediately and acts as if she never doubted herself.
I think, because Andrew and Douglas never had much of a connection, Andrew simply projected himself onto his father, and treated him as a blank slate, and it blinded him to the man Douglas actually was, a man who made the important decisions in the family.
Doug and Renee informed Andrew's opinion on normalcy: Renee was there to shut him down when he tried to complain, but Doug was the absence of connection, and it told Andrew that people with either shun him(Renee) or simply won't get him(Doug).
That said, I don't feel like Renee and Doug represent a healthier romantic dynamic Andrew and Ashley could(or even already) have, simply because they refuse to challenge each other, they would rather make each other happy, and be oblivious to their lives falling apart, until the consequences of their actions break into their home and sell their souls to a demon.
In that way, I think they're a "what if" Andrew and Ashley could become if they simply decide to delude themselves into keeping each other happy and casting aside their better judgement.
That is, they're a mirror to Questionable Burial Andrew and Ashley.
Andrew is still assertive himself, but he's decided to be a steward to Ashley and do what he thinks would make her happy, like Doug, and Ashley, like Renee, casts aside her own doubts just to stay in a fantasy for a little longer.
Notably, Questionable Ashley is the only one where she doesn't mourn her parents, like Renee mocked Connie's death due to Doug's reassurance.
There's a lot of interesting stuff in here that makes me wanna tweak some opinions or elaborate further on some of these thoughts.
When I say that Douglass and Renee are a parallel of a healthier relationship, what I mean more than anything is the mutual respect they have for each other. With that in mind, I do agree that they're a mirror of what the QBurial relationship could be more than anything. They're a model of something healthier and happier, insofar as anything is better than the reactive abuse death spiral the siblings go through in 3B.
But, as you've explained, better isn't really good enough. The two are in such deep shit both psychologically and materially that they'd need to be better than what their parents were regardless of the long-term consequences of their actions. It's also a mirror of some of the siblings' worst tendencies shone under a different light. Renee, like Andrew, struggles with self-doubt and acting in accordance with how awful she really is. Douglas, like Ashley, grants her permission to act that awful. But Andrew and Ashley need to be better for each other, and encourage each other to do better.
QBurial might even have them ending up finding happiness (rather than comfort or resentment. or both) in hurting each other, as we watch the consequences of that unfold.
Just some stuff to think about. Thank you for this ask.
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What are your thoughts on the relationship between Mineva and Haman and whether or not Haman cared for her beyond being a political puppet? SRW V put forth the idea that Haman may have had some genuine care for her and leaves Mineva with a lot of conflicting feelings on who was essentially family to her
Hmm.
So I was struck when I was rewatching Zeta episodes for the analysis of Haman that one of the first things she says about Mineva that isn't official-speak is calling the seven year old puppet-queen a coward.
I don't think there's any question that Zeta shows Mineva holding affection for Haman. It's very clear she is by far the most trusted figure in her life. But we are also told, almost immediately, that Haman has little sympathy for her over what is a fairly natural response to violence breaking out among the adults surrounding her. Later, Mineva says that Char understands her better than anyone else, which is interesting and ironic, but also points to her dependence on Haman having its limits.
Nevertheless, Mineva goes out of her way to defy Haman's instructions in order to return to the battlefield and share a warning when things spiral out of control. And Haman is surprised, evidently not for the first time, by the child's perceptiveness. So their relationship is not as simple as Mineva dancing to a tune set by her guardian. She has her own will and desires, and if those are a problem for Haman, there's no sense that she is overly restrictive of Mineva beyond what would be expected of the girl's position (etiquette, public relations, towing the party line - honestly, Char's reaction is at once valid and wildly naive).
Indeed, I think it's important to bear in mind that Haman's style of leadership is just generally quite publicly pleasant to those around her. I don't mean she never raises her voice or gets sharp, but rather that she has a very firm, very level, very confident persona that doesn't ever descend into you have failed me for the last time type excesses. She might brainwash and manipulate people on her side, but she doesn't get directly abusive to their faces (unless they prove themselves her enemy, at which point all bets are off). One of the reasons the break in Dakar works so well is because Judau scares her enough to drop the act and barrel furiously through her guards.
It's not really a surprise, in context, that Haman would be relatively kind to Mineva. That's the smart choice, especially since it is vitally important she control someone who, though young, outranks her. Mineva can simply decide to go off with a bunch of random kids, or move around on her own, or send Haman a bowl of (presumably expensive) fresh fruit as a gift, and there's not a lot anyone can do to contradict her. If there were, the entire underpinning of Neo Zeon society would collapse. You don't get to argue with the monarchy.
Under these conditions, it's also not a surprise Haman would swap the real Mineva out for a more pliable double when she needs to start making big moves (checking the Wiki, it asserts that Char took her away after the Gyps incident, but I don't think that's necessarily the implication from the end of ZZ - certainly it's never stated outright why Haman replaces her and the double must have been prepared ahead of time). We really have extremely little material where the real Mineva is interacting with Haman. Everything in Gundam ZZ has to be assumed to be the double, who we know doesn't believe Haman cares about her. We can additionally assume Haman preserving the double's safety is about maintaining the illusion, because if she doesn't, her authority is in jeopardy. She's already got Glemy true-Scotsmanning his way into a Zeon schism; she can't afford to lose her status as regent because it looks like she lost the queen.
So where does that leave Haman's feelings towards the real Mineva?
In my opinion, we're given too many reasons to read Haman's actions as cynical to attribute any of them to genuine affection. Haman is defined by her loneliness and there's nothing in their interactions to suggest Mineva does anything to ease that. I don't see how she could, given she is so thoroughly embedded in the structure Haman is subverting. Mineva is a figure, first and foremost, her actual personality and feelings secondary to her status as the thing to be controlled in order to achieve a certain result.
I think Hamann is presented as showing genuine care for Mineva, but the implied motivations are always self-serving and based on what would make life easiest. Quite often, the best means of getting what you want is to be nice about it.
And that would surely still leave Mineva with a lot of complicated feelings to work through. Heck, one of the things I would genuinely love to see as a UC spin-off (even though I think the franchise is massively over-saturated with tUC spin-offs) would be a follow-up focused on Mineva and her double getting to have a conversation about Haman. We never found out what happened to that other girl and it feels like a big missed opportunity.
Anyway, those are all the thoughts I currently have. Thanks for the ask!
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99.9% sure T is coming back and people are dooming because lfjr was filming on the same block and there’s a helipad on the rooftop he posted BUT I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing… I know nobody wants to deal with that insufferable part of the fandom but I could see them bringing him back for closure and Buck (once again) trying to misplace his feelings for Eddie onto T until T finally makes him realize it was never about him at all. It’s ALWAYS been Eddie. As much as I don’t want to see that man again I think it would make for dramatic TV lol and it would put the nail into the coffin for BT forever! Also I remember Tim saying in an interview after 8x07 I think that T is in Buck’s romantic past for sure but he may intersect with T in this universe again… so I’m almost positive this lfjr appearance is not a reconciliation and rather just another way for a plot device to do what they do best and move the plot :)
Okay, my inbox is flooding with L and T messages right now, so I want to address this now, before it explodes completely.
I'm addressing this using this ask by a very clever anon. Why? Well Nonny?! I think you make an excellent point!
Let's look at this logically, without any emotions involved. The problem with T right now is that all of our experiences with this character and actor are clouded with negative emotions.
Why? Well... you all know why right?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So let's get rid of all of these emotions for a moment. And let's look at this from a pure narrative point of view.
Say T does come back. So what?
Can he stop Buddie at this point? No. That ship has loooong sailed and to be honest... there was never a contest to begin with. Eddie has always been more important to Buck than T ever was. It's obvious from the last episodes that Buck is very close to figuring out his feelings for Eddie. So T is no threat whatsoever.
So why would he be there? Well, logically speaking it would be an interesting choice for T to run into Buck and mention something about Eddie, cue Buck starting to question what exactly it is he feels for Eddie.
Way back when, right after 7x04, L did an interview where he talked about T being some kind of a stepping stone for Buck to realise he really wanted Eddie. Around that time Oliver did an interview saying that he really wanted T and Buck to stay in contact and that T could be some kind of wise queer person who kind of helps him figure things out.
What if this is what we are seeing right now?
If T is back-- and I'm using a big IF here, because I'm still not so sure whether or not he will be-- he could be there to be a catalyst into both Buck and Eddie figuring out what they feel for each other.
He could be a 'stepping stone' aka a 'plot device' to get the main ship together.
I'm just saying--
If he is back it is not for a round 2 of BT. That obviously didn't work out very well for either of them. So the only logical explanation is that he is there to push the Buddie narrative along like a good plot device does.
Honestly, I'd rather not see the man back either, but the reason for that isn't that he could threaten Buddie. It never was about that. There was no competition there to begin with.
I don't want to see him back because I really dislike the way some of his more ardent stans have treated me and the rest of this fandom from the moment he kissed Buck. I'm simply tired of dealing with these people.
So let's stop spiraling over this please. If (big IF here) T is back, he is there for a purpose. I can guarantee you that that purpose? It's Buddie-related.
#buddie#nonnies galore#anti tommy fandom#anti tommies#I'm seeing a lot of level-headed people who think the same thing I do.#Love seeing this fandom on the same wavelength.
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Hi! After your very cute Five x reader oneshot, would you be interested in a crossover between Saw and TUA?
Like maybe the reader or Five survived a saw trap, so it would be a combination of fluff and angst. Maybe flashback nightmares as well. Whether they both survived one (together or seperate) or just one is up to you. It could also make use of the Five-only-has-one-arm plotline that got abandoned.
Keep up the good work!
so i'm in love with saw, and i'm in love with tua. i'm usually afraid to write crossovers because of how complicated they can get but i'm actually really excited to combine these two. thank you sm for the request! i also came up with my own trap for this :) i hope you like it!
warnings: blood and a bit of gore, maybe some disturbing imagery
You woke up in a dark room. Your hands were chained to something, you couldn't make out what it was. Your feet were bare, standing upon some sort of rubber material. You stayed calm, The Commission had trained you to always keep calm and stay on guard.
The lights in the room flashed on, violating your retinas. You could see an old CRT TV, and it flickered to life revealing some dirty and raggedy puppet with a white face and blood red spirals on his cheeks.
"Hello (Y/n). I want to play a game." The puppet's mouth opened as it seemed to speak. "You're wondering why you're here, but I believe the answer is quite simple. You are the type of person who doesn't value human life. Killing mercilessly all for the prospect of wealth. You don't bother to question who you kill or even why, unlike your partner, who unfortunately managed to escape my grasp. Your strange ability won't be enough to get you away from me, however. Right now, you are chained to a treadmill that I engineered to only run on the highest setting: twenty miles per hour. Instead of running from your mistakes, you will face them and be taught how valuable life truly is. You will run at this speed for an hour, and if you fail, you will fall into the meat grinder behind you. If you do manage to escape, you will bleed out. Live or die. Make your choice."
Your eyes widened, and the calmness you felt quickly dissipated. You looked behind you and the huge machine began to whirl, blades eagerly awaiting you. Your first thought was to get off. The chains were long enough, so if you did fail you would fall into the machine rather than be stuck on the treadmill. The spikes surrounding the machine were rather discouraging though. You'd only be able to avoid them if you could jump, but the chains were solving that problem.
Before you could think and rationalize further, the treadmill was starting up. You quickly began to run, and was very glad your stamina was better than the average human. As you ran, you tried to think. You tugged at the chains to get a better look. No lock or keyhole. They must be automatic. This guy said he was an engineer; it wouldn't be surprising if he manufactured these cuffs too. They covered your whole hands. There wasn't any way to break your wrists to get out.
You were stuck. There were spikes on the edges of the treadmill too, ensuring you didn't try to wait out the timer. An hour, could you manage that?
You broke a sweat five minutes in. The room was hot, way hotter than average. You grit your teeth. Another factor to the test. All you could do was listen. If you jumped on the edge spikes now, you might bleed out or faint. You had to make it through.
You had been doing good, really good. You looked to the timer. Your clothes were drenched in sweat, your legs ached, you felt dizzy. You could hardly read the timer. You squinted. Ten more minutes. Just ten more. You would be free if this bastard kept his word.
Then, you tripped.
The chains clunked together as you lost your footing, as you fell backwards so fast you couldn't pull your legs up fast enough. The grinder dug and tore into your feet, blood gushing as it threatened to pull you in.
Your scream filled the room, and through sheer determination you grasped the chains and yanked yourself up again. You didn't even look at your feet, searing pain coursing through your body. You couldn't keep running. The puppet's words echoed through your head.
Live or die. Make your choice.
You grasped onto the chains again and with a scream you managed to pull yourself onto the spiked edges. The spikes shot through the mangled messes of your feet, and tears streamed down your face as you shrieked in pure agony. You yanked and pulled at the chains desperately, feeling the spikes violating your insides.
Then, the chains unlocked.
The whirring of the grinder stopped.
The treadmill came to a stop.
You collapsed onto the treadmill. Quickly you pulled your raw hands from the restraints and pulled off your shirt as fast as you could, ripping it half with the bit of strength you had. You wrapped the pieces of fabric around each leg to make tourniquets around them. The TV turned on again, but you couldn't hear it over your own cries and sobs of agony. Your feet were completely mangled, blood coating the whole treadmill. Was that bone in there?
Then?
It stopped.
You shot up in bed, a hand on your shoulder. You didn't even realize you were screaming until you choked on one of your own cries. Ignoring the man next to you, you threw the blankets off you and looked at the stubs at the end of your legs. Your cries worsened, remembering that had all been real before.
"Darling, breathe, I need you to breathe." Five said from next to you, also sweaty. He grabbed the blanket and adjusted it around your shoulders and held your face. "You are not back there. You're safe, okay?"
You somehow managed to meet his eyes, even if yours were cloudy with the fat tears streaming down your face. His face was calm, and he stared at you with a firmness. He believed in you.
"You can do this. You're in bed with me. That twisted asshole is not here." He said, and even if he was so angry at the man who made you this way, he stayed calm and collected.
Five remembered when he found you. He had worked tirelessly with the CIA, FBI, and his siblings to find you. He had jumped ahead of the investigation when they had any clue as to your location, ignoring warnings to wait. He had barged in, and when he saw you laying pale on that treadmill with no feet, he swore his heart stopped beating.
He knew your mental state would be delicate, and that was stressful. Five wasn't great with emotions. You'd break down frequently, and he felt helpless. What was he supposed to do? It usually ended with him hugging you close, kissing your wrists where they'd been chained or gently rubbing the stubs at the end of your legs.
Five was the most supportive he could be, helping you around with your new prosthetic feet. Or flat out carrying you if you didn't feel like wearing them as you got used to them. Now you could walk without them even so, but he still liked to carry you up and down the stairs.
You looked into Five's eyes, sweaty and tearful. He kept his hands on the sides of your face, and you shakily reached up to hold his hands.
Five had a quick flashback of when your bloody hands met after you'd regained conscious. He hadn't left your side in the hospital, threatening to murder the hospital staff if they dared to keep you from him. That's how he was scrubbed up and in the operating room, not letting your hand go for even a second.
He sat with you in the bed, whispering sweet nothings while you cried. It pained him so bad to see you in such an awful state, he couldn't hide the expression on his face. That's why he pulled you into his chest so you wouldn't see. His stomach felt like it was shriveling up and dying while you wept profusely into his striped nightshirt.
He wasn't sure how long it was before you stopped crying and pulled away from his chest.
"I'm thirsty." You mumbled hoarsely.
He nodded, pressing a soft kiss to your wet cheek. "Okay." He said simply, pulling the covers off and going to your side of the bed. "C'mon, up." He spoke. You held your arms out and he lifted you from the bed, taking you to the kitchen with the utmost care. He set you on the counter by the fridge, used to this routine. He took your hand and kept it in his while he reached for a cup, even if he had to strain.
While the two of you were still getting used to this set of nightly events, he had let go of your hand and you had immediately began freaking out, begging him to keep touching you. Safe to say he would never let go again, so that's why he gave your shaky hand three squeezes. I love you.
Three squeezes back. I love you.
Five put some ice in the cup and filled it halfway with water. You'd most likely spill it if it were filled up all the way. He helped you drink it, just quietly supporting you.
"Thanks." You whispered, and he smiled.
"You're welcome. Are you ready to go back to bed?"
You hesitated, and he chuckled gently. "Alright, let's read for a bit." He carried you back to the bedroom and clicked on the warm lamp on his table. He grabbed the book sitting there, Fahrenheit 451 written by Ray Bradbury.
“We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?”
As he read, your eyes slowly began to close. You were asleep in his lap within a matter of minutes. He placed a bookmark between the worn pages and put it back. He clicked the lamp off.
"Just like that...told you that you could do it." He whispered with relief, glad to see your peaceful face again.
#gn!reader#x reader#sawposting#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#five hargreeves x reader#five hargreeves#crossover#hurt/comfort
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a price i'm willing to pay | part 20 - doughnuts.

MASTERLIST
pairing: ceo!bang chan x entrepreneur!reader
genre: social media!au, arranged marriage, fake relationship, fluff, angst.
warnings: swearing, might have suggestive bits.
summary: following a scandal threatening the survival of your business, you have no choice but to associate yourself with a competitive company.
What happened last night? The events could be told in a short summary or in a thirty pages story.
It started after you had texted Chan to come and when you had just arrived at Wonhee's apartment. You still weren't sure why you asked him in such a desperate way for him to come but something in you wanted him around. Maybe it was because of the way he managed to get your mind off things in those silly dates every week. A part of it might also be how calm you had become to each other with time. As much as you hated to admit it, you were quite grateful to have him in your life. Especially considering the circumstances.
To no surprise, you were the first one to be greeted by the messy living room that had clothes and junk scattered around. Your sister was never one to clean a lot. As long as she found what she needed, it was not a necessity. That always came in contrast with Minho's tidiness of things.
"Long day?" you asked when she yawned loudly.
"Tell me about it... I like my job but my boss is always giving me these documents to send off when he can do it himself. I'm not his assistant, I shouldn't be doing this technically."
The job was temporary supposedly. Nonetheless, she was starting her fourth year as an assistant manager in a quaint clothing store.
"I've been telling you to work for me instead."
"I love you, sweetie, but you can barely provide for yourself if you don't marry Chris Bang."
"Alright, I'll take that," you laughed out.
Nearly twenty minutes passed until Jeongin and Minho arrived. Wonhee being Wonhee, she had already passed out on the couch in the comfort of her warm blankets. You let the men get settled and stayed by your sister's side for a while before Jeongin extended a white plastic bag to you. The two men had brought snacks of all sort to eat for the night. There were ramen bowls, candies, chips, soda bottles, even fruits that Minho had kindly cut beforehand. As you and him began to clear the coffee table to make space for the food, Jeongin looked around the room with a puzzled face.
"Do you really think Changbin went to his childhood home?" he questioned, obviously doubting what his friend said about his whereabouts.
The room became silent as you stared at one another. This was the fourth time Changbin didn't come to one of your hangouts. As much as you didn't want to doubt him, he had been behaving oddly since you announced you were marrying Chan. You knew this had nothing to do with jealousy as there was no way you were remotely interested in him. However, the more time passed, the more you began to believe it.
"His loss," Minho shrugged and then continued with placing the food items in front of him.
"Did he tell you anything, Y/N?"
You shook your head much to his disappointment. Before the ambiance could get any sadder than this, you began to look for a film to put on the screen. A historical drama was Jeongin's choice and he settled comfortably as he opened a bag of pretzel chips. Quite frankly, you paid little to no attention to what was going on between the two characters in the film. Instead, you kept looking at your cellphone every passing second. You swore Chan confirmed he would be there already. Thoughts began to flood your mind and you spiraled into thinking the absolute worse. While Minho was too immersed in the proximity he was sharing with Wonhee, Jeongin noticed immediately your shaking figure.
"Are you cold or something?"
You stared at him, uncertain if you should answer truthfully. You were about to speak when the buzzing sound of the doorbell interrupted you. You put the blanket that laid on your legs aside and were quick to answer.
"Yes?" you spoke in the speaker.
"Y/N?" Chan said.
You didn't need any more information and you pushed the button to let him in. As much as it felt like an action you did on the regular basis, it resulted to a frantic Jeongin rushing to your sides.
"Don't tell me you invited Bang here?"
"What?" Minho whispered to not wake Wonhee up. "Why would you do that? Voluntarily?"
"Yes," you answered sheepishly.
"Since when?" Jeongin asked, his voice much louder to which Minho answered with a glare.
"I don't know, we get along now. Is it that much of a surprise?"
Minho smirked. "No. He's welcomed here anytime."
"Who are you to say this? You don't live here."
"I might soon if Wonhee finally lets me be your brother-in-law."
Just when Jeongin was starting to run to Minho with an annoyed grunt, a soft knock was heard throughout the whole flat. Your two friends looked at you with encouraging smiles while you stood there, frozen. The knock came again. Finally, you opened the door slowly, only peeking your head out at first. When you saw Chan in sweats and a hoodie that was clearly too large for him, you felt your face heat up the slightest. He has never looked so casual in front of you and you honestly loved it.
"Am I late to the party?" his voice broke you away from your staring.
"Not at all, the film only began."
When you let him inside, a frown appeared on his face. "Your sister is sleeping already?"
"Don't question it," Minho said as he rubbed her arm. "She had a long day."
Chan chuckled — which somehow sounded like the most beautiful thing you had heard in your entire life — and went on to put what he brought on the counter. "I didn't think you'd have so many snacks already but I have pastries."
"What kind?"
"Mochi doughnuts."
You quirked an eyebrow. "What the hell is that?'
His eyes widened. "I knew you had no cultural knowledge but to that extent?"
"Alright, I'm sorry I don't know my doughnuts," you huffed.
"You have to give it a go."
"Maybe later. Come, join us."
Jeongin gladly scooched over the edge of the sofa to leave you two enough space. As much as he tried, it was still not enough to let you have room for yourself without having half of your body on top of Chan's. Upon noticing your poor attempt at finding a comfortable position, he sighed heavily in discouragement.
"Just come here," he motioned to himself, opening his arms out as to invite you to cuddle up.
"In your dreams," you scoffed.
"I swear I'm comfortable."
You glanced over at Jeongin and he was no help when he answered with a shrug. He was visibly more focused on the gummy bears he was consuming. With a shy nod, you allowed yourself to fall onto his body as you got wrapped around by his strong but somewhat soft arms. You moved around for a while to find the right way to sit but he sighed again.
"You're stiff, just relax."
"I am relaxed."
"Y/N."
His hands moved from the side of your arm to your cheek. Gently, he made you look at him and you swore you felt your stomach flip upside down. In an instant, your limbs relaxed and you fell perfectly into Chan's embrace. He detached his hand from your face — much to both your relief and your dismay — and laid the blanket on both of your bodies.
"What did I miss?" he asked to Jeongin as if nothing.
You were baffled at how at ease he was conversing with your friend while you couldn't help but wonder if he could feel your heart pound like crazy.
Almost two hours later, you were still as flustered and still in Chan's arms. You didn't dare to move, afraid the slightest movement would bother him. The two other men were deep asleep and, at that point, neither of you were interested in the movie.
"Doughnuts?" he suddenly said as he paused the film.
The credits stayed still on the television but you kept your eyes on it. His face was dangerously close to yours, you were well aware of it. Before you could make a wrong move, you got off him carefully to not bother your sleepy friends. As for him, he stared at you expectedly for an answer. You finally nodded and he cracked a smile before walking up to the white box laying still on the counter. Your gaze followed his actions and accidentally moved down to his forearms and he had just rolled his sleeves up. Again, you had to snap yourself out of it and focus back on the pastries he was now taking out of their package.
"Macha?" he offered and you gladly took the doughnut from him.
"What's yours?" you asked, pointing to the blue-coloured one he had in hands.
"Blueberry."
You said nothing. But your eyes remained on the food. A little too intensely. And Chan saw it.
"We can switch, here."
You grinned successfully and lost no time in biting into the soft baked good. It was sweet and soft, melting perfectly into your mouth. You barely could restrain yourself from letting out a surprised gasp from the taste.
"I really can't believe you never ate one of these," Chan commented while chewing.
"Well, you've created a monster now — this is delicious!"
He chuckled lightly at the sight of you taking more bites, messily wiping the corner of your mouth in the process. The remainder of the box was eaten in silence other than a few more gasps from your part. You offered yourself to get rid of the trash as part of the "thank you" you indirectly wanted to tell him. In the meantime, he pulled more boxes from the plastic bag he had brought originally which made you widen your eyes.
"More doughnuts?"
"Sadly, no," he responded in a disappointed tone. "Do you want bagels, though? I have this sudden craving."
Because of having been over at Wonhee's place so often, it was easy for you to locate the toaster while Chan cut the bagels in two. It was strange how cozy this was. It was almost like it was just one of those days where you'd stay late at night with your partner, doing silly things to get yourselves to sleep. As much as it made you grin, there was an inevitable voice in your mind telling you to not fall for this. Your relationship is based on business. Your upcoming marriage is based on business. There would be a day where Chris would come up to you with the news he has found someone to share his life with.
These thoughts were dangerous.
"How many do you want?"
You hadn't realized you had been spacing out while standing in front of the toaster, looking at nothing in particular. Chan still looked at you expectedly for an answer after a few seconds passed with your body staying still.
"One, I guess," you managed to speak.
Chan nodded lightly but a doubtful frown made its way on his face. He set the bagels in place, turned the toaster on, and then grabbed you gently by the arms.
"There's something bugging you."
Duh, you wanted to say. "No," was what you answered instead.
He exhaled as he gave you a look telling you he wasn't believing you. "I know we are not so close to each other in terms of talking about our problems and all but, believe me, you can trust me."
You scoffed. "I hated you for nearly 10 years."
"Fair point," he hummed. "I am a good listener if you need one, though."
You bit the inside of your cheek. Until then, you still hadn't looked at him in the eye. When your gaze met his, the was a glint in his pupils — one so comforting that it told you he was being sincere. You had missed on noticing how kind his eyes were when he smiled. You had also never quite checked how much taller than you he stood besides the fact you had been close to his body on many instances. And it was the first time you felt somehow aware of your looks in front of him.
"You don't have to say a thing, obviously," he reiterated in fear you might have interpreted it as too insistent.
He let go of your arms but you quickly grabbed his yourself to keep him near you. "Our marriage."
This took him by surprise and he opened his mouth slightly, unsure on what to say at first. He hadn't even thought you would open up to him, even less about whatever you had going in your mind towards your marriage.
"Yes?" he encouraged you to continue.
"Don't sleep around while we're married."
You wouldn't be able to explain why you felt this way or why you had the need to request this from him. It was a miracle you even gathered the strength to let it out — though not a lot of strength was required as it had mostly slipped out of your mouth.
"I wasn't planning on it either," he assured with a small chuckle. "It would be stupid to put ourselves in a situation where cheating allegations can-"
"Not for that," you stopped him which confused him. "I just don't want you to."
His breath hitched. "I won't."
Your body moved on its own and you pulled him closer. His eyes stayed on your lips for a few seconds before he gulped. Both of your breaths suddenly quickened from how close your faces were to one another.
"Can I request the same?" he said lowly.
"Yes."
"If you're my wife, you should know it means you are mine, no?" he almost said in a growl.
Your brain short-circuited for a moment. In all of the things he could have said, this was not on the list. It was almost offending you how he said it, but it also made him all the more attractive. Especially when he spoke with like this.
"You want me to be yours?" you whispered.
"Do you really think I've actually hated you all these years?"
What he insinuated with this was painfully obvious. So much, you denied to believe it. In no existing world was Christopher Bang Chan ever interested in you. If he didn't hate you, it was no liking for sure.
And you were right, he did dislike you as much as you. Maybe not hate, but there was no interest of getting along with you. What changed was the hours on end you spent with each other either working or on fake dates. Hours of watching you in your natural element being the most authentic person he knew. And how you began to let your guards down and let him catch a glimpse of your actual person — not the one who hated his guts — made you seem so much more attractive. For that, he did hate you.
He hated how accustomed he grew of your presence. He hated how your smile became the thing he looked forward to see every Tuesdays. He absolutely despised how jealous of Changbin he was for getting to take care of you as if you were the purest soul on Earth. He hated it so much, he had to call the fake relationship off. And without thinking, the moment he knew he could come to your rescue, he lost no time in doing so. Hence the marriage. Hence why it was taking everything in him to not attack your lips with his.
"Chan," was all you could find to say.
"Believe whatever, I don't care, but I really want to kiss you right now."
The need in his voice was desperate. You found yourself enchanted by the way he had smoothly moved his hands to your hips — suddenly aware of his touch — and mesmerized by how pretty he was besides the fact it was almost pitch black in the apartment. Without answering his request, you grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into what was intended to be a gentle kiss. However, this was not enough on his part and he hungrily kissed back, so roughly that you could barely keep up with his pace.
His lips were moving so naturally, you could tell he had experience. It made the whole thing more thrilling which made you yearn for him a lot more. Your grasp around the back of his neck grew firmer while his hands were roaming all over your body. They moved down from your hips to your ass and began to massage them in a way that both hurt and made you gasp. Naturally, you jumped to wrap your legs around him and he held onto your thighs for support. He carefully put you on top of the counter where you heights met.
"I still hate you," you said breathlessly between kisses. "So fucking much."
You bit his lips when you felt the grin form on his mouth. He gasped in his turn and clutched onto your waist so hard, you squirm under his touch.
You would have done something as a payback if it wasn't for the horrid smell of burnt reaching your nostrils. All of the sudden, you remembered of putting bagels in the toaster for far too long.
"Shit," you mumbled, pushing Chan aside to get to the black burnt pieces of food.
You rushed to get one of your sister's perfumed candles and lit it up for them to get rid of the scent. You were lucky it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
"Y/N," Chan finally said once you were done with taking care of the problem.
The realization hit you hard upon noticing the red-ish marks you had left on his neck. The swell on his lips was another proof of the makeout session that occurred only minutes ago. Who knows what would have happened if the bagels didn't burn...
"It's getting late, you can take the last spot on the couch."
Visibly disappointed by your dismissal of the situation, he still nodded in agreement. "Where will you sleep?"
"Wonhee has a guest room."
You stayed in the kitchen for a couple more minutes, not saying a word. Chan was the first to leave while muttering a short "good night".
But you did not have a good night.
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Do you think N ever spiraled after leaving Ghetsis and had to confront everything his father did?
Oh man your ask made me autism really bad on the green guy pokémon man
Gigantic detailed analysis of the consequences of Plasma/Ghetsis on N under the cut !!!
TW : mention of psychological abuse, neglect
N immediately leaves at the end of BW1, and I think it might be the best choice for him. Yes, he does let go of his new found friendship with the player, but he spent his whole life being controlled and manipulated, and it's time for him to break those chains. I think that him leaving Unova is a way for him to distance himself mentally from everything that happened, while also letting him explore the world on his own. I believe his journey outside of Unova is what kept him from spiraling, because he wasn't in a hostile environment anyway. It was all new, with no bad memories attached. He could finally make memories of his own, untarnished by Ghetsis.
N had to grieve his father, because well, he realized this man never loved him. I believe 100% that Ghetsis designed part of N's last team. N's teams consist of surrounding pokémons, but this time specifically, his team contains not one, but two fossil pokémons??? There's no way he would get them in the wild. Because he witnessed the battle with the player, he saw that his father's team was designed to take down his own. He understood that his father had trapped him, quietly, that he had given him specific pokémons so that he would sweep his team and take him down with no issues.
He had to grieve his childhood and his life. He left his pokémons friends behind because he had a "destiny" of some sort, and it was all a big fat lie. He spent most of his life locked in a playground, surrounded by abused pokémons to ensure he wouldn't question Ghetsis' teachings. He never had a best friend he exchanged silly gifts with. He never had his first childhood crush. He never played messengers when his friends had an argument. He never played tag with a bunch of other children. He was never taught to ride a bike as a kid. He never played in the fresh snow with other children, he never had a snowball fight. Had he ever even see snow because he arrived in Icirrus City ?
And then he had to grieve what he could have been. Throughout his travel in Unova it is likely that N understood how socially and emotionally unfit he was for the outside world, because Ghetsis stunted his development on purpose. Ghetsis needed N to be somewhat vulnerable and unfit to get rid of him easily later. N is very much autistic, but it's all made faaaar worse by years of isolation from his peers. At best he is clumsy during social interactions, but at worst he is downright creepy. We don't talk much about nature vs nurture in N's context, and while N is introverted and autistic by nature, he would've never been that awkward and terrible at interacting with others without Ghetsis' awful influence. Ghetsis made him terrible at being social on purpose by isolating him. The fact that N interacts with a literal child (the player) rather than with characters in his age demographic (maybe like Burgh, who is apparently 21 wtf, or Skyla who is 18) is a testament of how bad Ghetsis' influence was on him. He doesn't know how to fit in, or where to even fit. He tries to befriend children because despite knowing he is more than a kid, he perceives himself as less than an adult, because he was never allowed to fully grow up.
The hard truth is, if N had grown up normally, he would have most likely not be interested in bonding with a child at least 6 years younger than him, and would likely have gravitated towards people his age. But maybe he would have had a very Steve-Dustin type of relationship with the player ? The simple fact that in-game he is 20 and is considered as a rival-type character in the game, meaning he is a rival to a 14 YEARS OLD, is a great indicator on how socially stunted N is because of Ghetsis' education. N would crumble and cry if he had to face a normal, bill-paying, working 20 years old. When put against Burgh, who is only 1 year older than him, N seems incredibly young. Burgh is a gym leader. He is social, friendly, confident, fun, a social butterfly (he is insect type gym leader... ahah) N, on the other hand, seems wayyyyy young than Burgh, because unlike him, he was never allowed to grow up, explore the world, and become an adult with normal adult responsabilities. N never developed his critical skills either. He was formated to follow orders, not to think for himself. Meaning that he now has to develop his critical skills by himself as a 20 years old, when it's something that should be taught to you in school and by your parents.
And that is without all the things that are not mentioned in-game but become very obvious with just a look at N's room. If this guy lived like a child all of his life, stuck in a playground, he has no adult skills. He most likely can't manage money, can't cook for himself, can't use electronics, can't use appliances. Ghetsis never intended for N to become a King and to rule over Unova. N has the charisma of a dead oyster after all. Ghetsis might never even have intended for him to live past his 20s. Therefore, Ghetsis never put any effort in teaching him how to be a somewhat functioning adult, because he was going to be disposed of in the end. And that's without talking about the very scary aspect of puberty, gender and sexuality in an environment so incredibly unfit and hostile for a developing child. Either N had no idea what was going on with his body, or N had a somewhat vague understanding and repressed everything for years because it felt so wrong for him to feel like that in his child playground of a room. Either way, sexuality must be a real problem for N and I think he must have a lot to unpack there, alongside with his gender, which he was never allowed to explore because he was stuck as being "The King", which is traditionally a male exclusive title.
Then he grieves his pokémons. During BW1 he asks the surrounding pokémons for help except for his last fight (his only constant pokémon is Zoroark, and very probably his Klinklang later in the game). And N keeps releasing them. There isn't a shadow of a doubt that N loved every battle partner he ever had, but he lets them go because Ghetsis told him this was the only good option. He was lied to, to a level where he unvoluntarily abandonned creatures who thought he was going to care for them for life. After BW1, he leaves with only Zekrom, leaving behind Zoroark and Klinklang, the two only pokémons he kept during his journey throughout Unova. He doesn't only abandon the player, he also leaves his pokémons being, in one last ultimate try to free them from himself, not yet understanding the depth of the lies he was fed.
Even worst, when he comes back in BW2, he gives away Zekrom to the BW2 player. The last friend he has, the one with whom he explored the world, he chooses to give up.
And once he understands what has been done to himself, he has to come to the realization that his sisters are deeply hurt. Anthea and Concordia are found in the Driftveil Safe House in BW2, alongside Sage Rood, surrounded by grunts. Unlike N, they didn't have a destiny. They were mere caretakers. Without N around, they lose all form of identity, because Ghetsis never allowed them to have any. Most of their dialogues are referencing N, not themselves. Unlike N, they didn't go out and explore the world. They were taking in by Rood in the Safe House, and they try to cope with what happened. They don't exit the Safe House, they don't talk to anyone outside of Rood and the grunts. In a way, parts of them are still back there, in the Castle.
And then, there's the grunts. How many of them were lied to, just like N himself ? How many of them are still struggling to return to a normal life ? How many of them lost all contact with their family and friends, and released their very own pokémons, following Ghetsis' teachings ? To me, the Driftveil Safe House was clearly a representation of how much suffering Ghetsis has caused to his own team. The grunts dehumanize themselves, identifying themselves as one big mass called Plasma. They deal with the permanent guilt of having stolen pokémons, of ruining lives for both humans and pokémons. They had tried to do good, they were lied to, and now they have to realize that the only thing they did was hurt all the creatures they had tried to help. They were brainwashed so bad that they are most likely unable to return to a normal life. They still behave like grunts, they still worship N like a god, they follow Rood as if he was a replacement for Ghetsis. The Safe House is the best ending they can get with how psychologically damaged they are. Ghetsis has fucked many people over, more than we usually aknowledge.
.......Anyway
My conclusion : I don't think N spiraled, because this kind of abuse engages a lot of different things in N as a person. It impacted his general skills, social skills, critical skills, gender, sexuality, self-esteem, perception of others, trust in others... N would first have to understand that he is hurting to then understand that Ghetsis hurt him. The consequences of such abuse are HUGE, and N, because he lacks critical skills because Ghetsis stunted him on purpose, would not be able to realize just how bad he is hurt and how bad things are. He would likely realize progressively the impact Ghetsis had on him, and it would most likely be with the help of someone else instead of by himself (When you've been conditioned to endure abuse, you don't know you have been abused, and you need others to tell you it wasn't normal, and you didn't deserve it.) When you go through trauma, you don't realize how deep the roots go until years later.
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yeah, maybe catra spent the last few years too prideful and stubborn to admit that w adora was always where she wanted to be - and after so little time spent back by adora's side, it was breaking her fucking heart all over, knowing her chance at having time w adora was going away again, and in a way she's powerless to change far more than before. she can't choose to sacrifice herself for adora again like in corridors. if the failsafe kills adora -
then that's that. adora's gone for good.
but in the end, i think catra realizes, when adora went away before - the time lost was all cause she refused to choose staying w adora out of her learned pride & conditioned perception of herself as inferior - but regardless, catra gets now - where adora decides to go isn't up to her; it's never been her choice to make - & not even adora's, in a lotta ways -
but where catra goes has never been a decision anyone but her can make - she can stay w adora & fight beside her or run away & fight against her. and choosing to stay with adora doesn't make her a sidekick; it's immature and self-centered to see it that way. i think of the promise episode..
"oh, cause i need to follow you where ever you go?"
catra, hush. pick your words a bit better. adora only ever wanted you to come with her; she never implied anything about following. i don't see and never have seen the two of them as a super hero & sidekick team. they're equally bad bitches and they try n make up for any need the other has to just feel safe, content, & cared for.
"you look out for me, and i look out for you."
and, well, catra's not ever fucking making the mistake of choosing not to stay right beside that silly sweet adora dummy ever, eeeever again.
BUT duuude tho - the way adora cries a bit but says nothing - doesn't attempt even once to try n convince catra to go, to push her to leave and get somewhere safe - i just can't help but figure catra staying with her is exactly what adora wanted, but never would've asked for in a million years. she would've felt too selfish just tryna form the question in her head.
but in spite of that, when catra states it unequivocally and clearly adds w confidence - "no matter what happens" - adora can't argue. she can't insist. much like catra hasn't really been able to do for quite a while now - adora can't fake it anymore. she's just too tired and she finally has to recognize she wants someone to take care of her, too - just like she's felt compelled to do for everyone else for so long. and in this moment, i feel like she's finally wordlessly admitting to catra, not only does she want her to be the one to take care of her - she needs her to be. & she's needed it since the promise -
but since even then, her head was so consumed with the instinct to care without ever seeking care.. to take responsibility, to sacrifice her needs and put the needs of literally everyone else first -
(for those out there that find this to be an admirable quality that makes them love adora and hate catra... omfg.. hilarious. because it's a trait born of adora's trauma, just like pretty much everything catra did that made people dislike her, and it's a super unhealthy way to live one's life)
it's kinda interesting if you consider that catra's initial spiral into resentment & anger hinged so much on feeling she was watching adora's "shadow weaver always said you were special" moment happen in a way that made catra feel entirely obsolete; and on top of that, made adora seem to disappear from her life. catra cringed at the shine of the first she-ra. and i maintain it's partly cause she fucking saw that it wasn't really adora anymore, if you ask me.
the only point to catra existing that ever meant anything to her? adora. however you wanna describe or portray their relationship, idfc - the fact remains - even as enemies, catra's always considered her life in terms of adora. it makes her think she has to compartmentalize adora as an enemy for some time, sure -
but the reason it only lasts a few years? lol c'mon, does anyone really need to wonder?
:)
cause the glow of adora as true she-ra -- seeing adora meld with her magic just at the thought of her lil kitty wanting to go home with her?
catra's eyes don't narrow, overwhelmed by the sheen - they widen. she's consumed with the glow.
& returns the favor. cause somehow, catra straight up delves deep into the abyss currently consuming adora & pretty much says - "fuck no. plsss wake up - you can't just die like this, not before you ever get a chance to live your own fcking life, good god dude - i get now why you couldn't before, but this time, please - STAY."
these gurls literally got so much love for each other that catra is able to straight up force open an entryway into adora's fading subconscious (which seems to be the only part of her that's still alive) - just by talking to her - barely above a whisper there in the heart, but in adora's mind, she's screaming at her.
the desperate, hopeful sentiments uttered, urging adora to keep going - to push through this and come out the other side alive - to please refuse to give up on herself the same way adora refused to give up on catra in save the cat.. "c'mon catra.. you're not done, not yet..." -- those words are just so much stronger when they're heard from adora's sweet tsundere kitty..
it's sooo loud to adora when catra is the one expressing it - cause she's finally freaking realized, catra's the one she most needs to hear it from. knowing catra feels that way about her is something she's never really had, and vice versa ofc, even in the horde. honestly, probably partly because they grew up in the horde.
it wasn't the kind of thing they were taught to say or even acknowledge feeling - but hearing catra beg her to just stay alive - and then hearing why catra so desperately needs her to - adora's made certain that it really is true -
she does deserve love, and there's someone whose love she's realized she wants - and they're holding her, telling her she has it & always has. and suddenly staying isn't a hope, isn't a plea - it's an inevitability. adora ain't going nowhere.
i can't help always picturing a laughable lil moment these days when i watch the finale; something like adora hearing catra yell that she loves her in her strange subconsciousness & quick w it as hell, opening her eyes in the heart and smiling -
"i was boutta die, but tbh i can't die without telling you: lol, i knew it. and hey.. i love you too :)"
#she-ra#spop#catradora#spop ranting#like a lotta ranting#gifs AND a rant#spop meta#analysis?#maybe#?#i never know
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hi i’m sorry for this small rant. i really hope you reply to it because i’m spiralling so bad. i have been listening to v powerful luckiest girl and get all your desires instantly forced subs and i had two really bad days and overall my life feels so shit and i feel like nobody gives a shit about me feel left out with my friends and am really regretting some past choices i have made as in subjects i chose to study. why do subs not work on me ever? i detach but subs just don’t work for me idk what should i do i want to enter the void and live my better/dream life but i keep failing and i’m so spiraling so hard rn. i am not even seeing small success i can’t even manifest my acne away or to grow a few inches how will i enter the void and magically change my life entirely. please help me out. how do i manifest or enter the void as soon as i can. i am being delululu living in 4d but yes ik if i am truly living in the end i shouldn’t have doubts but it’s been so many months when will i see results in my 3d. manifestion should be instant right. i’m sorry for my negativity i hope you have a great day
Hi love! I feel like any of this could be answered in another ask, but you seem really worried, so I'm going to answer it anyway!
First and foremost, you are allowed to have doubts. Just because you have doubts doesn't mean you're producing those thoughts. From a psychological perspective (which aligns with LOA), our thoughts are not entirely our own. This is a scientific truth, whether you believe in LOA or not. Scientists say that our thoughts are influenced by external factors such as our environment, upbringing, and the thoughts of others. Sound familiar? They also claim that we have the power to change our thoughts and create our own reality by consciously choosing the thoughts we entertain. So, just know that you're going to have doubts until the end, but as long as you categorize them as random thoughts and not your own beliefs, they don't matter! For example, if someone dressed as Chucky the doll jump-scared you and you started having "scary" thoughts about it, that doesn't mean you actually believe Chucky is real and coming to get you. You have psychological responses to certain things that have been ingrained and coded in you for a while now. What LOA does is help us intercept these false messages and reframe them as "useless" instead of messages we encode in our mind and assumption.
I've always been interested in psychology and neurology, and even though it doesn't directly relate to your question, it's important to mention that you do have a brain, and your brain is wired to act in certain ways. Once you're aware of why you're acting and believing certain things, it becomes way easier to understand that the 3D world is malleable. I really suggest reading books by authors like Joe Dispenza so you can understand yourself better. Also, watching YouTubers who explain anxiety and reading self-help books can provide helpful ways to manage your own anxiety.
The second thing is, if you don't believe in subliminals, I don't know why people do this, but if you don't have faith in something or assume it doesn't work for you, just use something you have a little faith in. For example, maybe you're more logical. You can read about brain waves and then listen to binaural beats for anxiety,manifesting, and faith. Have faith in it, because you'll understand and know that those waves genuinely change your brain's alignment. That's just one example, but subliminals are not the only type of audios out there. There are many other methods to explore.
Also, meditation is very helpful. Not just to reach the void, but do you know how many conscious thoughts we have in a day? On average, it is estimated that a person has around 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day. These thoughts can range from conscious, deliberate thoughts to automatic, repetitive thoughts. That doesn't even include the number of unconscious thoughts we have, which is probably 100k+. You constantly have these little things running around in your head, trying to keep you alive, keeping you repeating the same thought patterns, beliefs, and assumptions. You can't consciously control them most of the time, but your brain and mind are working overtime 24/7. It's not your fault, so that's why meditation can help you. Not just to reach the void, though you can tap into that using some form of meditation as well, but to clear your mind and then it’s there it will be better to affirm and believe you can do whatever you desire. If you're not truly embodying the desired state, which you're not because you sent this ask, do you think a few measly affirmations can counteract the hundreds of thousands of thoughts you've been having every day since birth, most of which you don't even know exist? Affirmations do work, but trust me, I've been where you're at and worse. This is not the state to solely rely on "miracle affirmations" because you won't believe them, and when something doesn't happen, you'll just want to give up and confirmation bias will make you subconsciously think, "Well, see? I knew it. It isn’t real" But in reality, your mind is just looking for proof to align with your negative beliefs.
I know you say you haven't manifested anything, but can you really think back to something you thought was a "coincidence" or something you didn't really ask for but it just appeared? We usually brush those off as just the world at play or a small world, but nope, that was you. Maybe you don't have clear skin or whatever your desire may be, but as you probably know, that's because you've put it on a pedestal compared to all the other "small" but great things you've manifested
I know you probably wanted me to tell you exactly what to do, but I genuinely don't know you the way you know yourself - your own self, mind, and behaviors. You know best, fr! I could have said anything I've said before, like imagination is the real reality, the 3D being malleable, if you can see and feel it you can manifest it, try SATs or lucid dreaming lalala. But I've learned that you know what you have to do. Sit and meditate to learn about yourself and your mind, and why you think what you think. What past experiences do you still hold onto, reliving them in your mind and creating assumptions that no longer serve you? They can still affect you, we are humans and emotions cling to us like bees to honey, and that's okay. But we need to start moving those experiences into the past and start creating with what we are now, which is the present. Any given moment is a time to say, 'Okay, this doesn't serve me anymore, and this does. I don't want this life anymore, I want this type of life,' and consciously start creating with those desires instead.
Acknowledge your doubts, they're just doubts, and they're really just an extension of life factors that have been slowly consuming your mind. You may have them, but as a god, do you have them? No. But as a human, you are influenced by them, and who cares? You know who you are and your power now, so if you disregard them, work around them. But I can't tell you what to do because I'm not you! I wholeheartedly believe that you will get through this because I have as well and the lows are just apart of your journey as the success as corny as it sounds. But when you do succeed I promise you’ll back to this movement and just be very happy you didn’t give up despite how hard it was 💝
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i think you should totally drop whatever hc/ideas you have lying around honestly...i would love to see more into ur brain...pls <33
:DD
Hi!!!! Sorry this is a little late, I got so distracted with an animatic im working on(😈) and then a stupid essay😭😭 being honest rn... Almost all of what I've been thinking about is my fic.. 😔
But!! I can still go a little into that without spoilers. I've finally figured out The Perfect ending for this story that I feel fits with the overarching themes I wanted to tell. I've been making sure that every little detail fits with the themes I wanted to show, I wanted it to overlap Regulus and barty's characters and their overarching themes with PD. I also didn't want to just replicate PD cause I feel like that doesnt have the depth or commentary I want to out into it. Idk ive always thought it's super fun to put everything as some sort of symbol or metaphor or foreshadowing. I'm like literally so close to being done drafting and then I can actually talk about it a little more😭
Anyways! I've also been thinking about barty post regs death 😔(when am I not) But more specifically how every memory he had would almost be tainted, everything now would have an air of questioning and unsureness. Even memories where Regulus isn't there, just wondering where was he? What was he thinking? Am I remembering this right? What could've I changed? What was the domino that caused all of this to happen? Eventually finding it hard to accept the way it really was, having the "I guess it was" and feeling it, but overintellectualizing it. His logic and reasoning is his downfall in this situation, that's what makes him go crazy. (Side note I NEED to make a little post about his intersection between intelligence and madness) Hes doing a complicated version of when there's a task that seems so simple that you think it's a trick, but it's not, it's just that. What happened with Regulus was just that.
Also, I've recently self reflected and realized that a lot of my barty characterization is similar to how I think of Leonard Cohen's art(who I LOVE LOVE LOVE) Idk if you've listened to him or read any of his work, but I HIGHLY suggest it, it's perfect for fall. Anyways, a lot of his songs and poems carry themes of having a twisted self image, not completely self deprication though it may seem, but something else. It's closer to understanding and knowing that you are. Different. And unconventional. It's an uncomfortablility he has with himself. Being soemthig twisted from what you should've been. A lot of his stuff is also to do with tragically losing someone, out of their own choice, and still feeling very loyal yet bitter. Also of loving something so much that it turns dark, or it goes too quick, it spirals. Also his love songs are very barty's perspective on bartylus to me. And like, obvious war mentions. I could give some specific recs similar to barty or them if you'd like.
Another thing is of Regulus and his relationship with his dad. Though I see it completely reasonable if his dad was just kind of, not there and neglectful, it could give very interesting implications to his character, I like it the other way around. Orion seeing what a more carefree attempt at raising a child does and keeping Regulus even closer than he did before. I think Orion always liked Regulus more, despite him being the second, because he was a model son. I don't think he wanted this life or even to have kids, so Regulus being so complacent and in line with what he was supposed to be as a pure blood made him the decided favourite(as much as he could have one). He was always keeping a close eye on Regulus and he could feel it, but he didn't do anything out of place anyways. Orion could tell when he was even thinking something he wasn't supposed to. I believe that, no matter how much she tried, walpurga was too caught in her own head about her duty as a mother to see S+R as anything other than Her Kids, as property that she was supposed to care for and tend to, she obviously loved them, but couldn't see through them. But Orion was there around every corner looking through regulus' eyes into his soul to search for any thing out of his perfect kid.
Anyways.... That's all I can think of rn😭 but if you have questions about ANY of them lmk!!! I love yapping about my little thoughts 😁😁
#barty crouch jr#bartylus#regulus black#starkiller#barty crouch junior#marauders#walpurga black#orion black#the noble and most ancient house of black#my fic#florsial
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RWRB Appreciation Month Bingo: Underrated Moment

For @rwrbsource and @rwrbmovie's RWRB Appreciation Month Bingo: Underrated Moment
Underrated Moment: Alex's immediate "no" when Zahra asked him if it would make any difference if he was asked to not see Henry again
Author's Note: The absolute lack of hesitation in Alex's voice when he answered that question has burrowed into my brain. It's one of my favorite moments. Sure, boys, you're sooooo great at doing casual! There's a little moment inspired by a comment convo I had with @onthewaytosomewhere who made an astute observation about the way Ellen and Zahra talk to Alex, a grown man. Enjoy this little bit of fluff.
As soon as the door slammed shut behind Zahra, Alex and Henry deflated like a couple of balloons. Alex, his mind starting to spiral, looked at his...nope, not ready for that either, Henry and snickered half-heartedly, "Well, now I have a new name to save you under in my phone."
"You're an idiot," Henry said, shaking his head.
They began moving about the room and picking up discarded pieces of clothing. Alex took off his pants to slip on his boxers, not interested in freeballing with a pissed-off Zahra while talking with the press. Fuck, he was going to have to tell his mom about Henry. His bisexuality felt secondary. Not that it wasn't important, but he knew his mom would be okay with that part. But him sleeping with, to borrow Zahra's words, "the heir to the British throne?" During an election year? That part might be a bit harder for her to swallow.
While they got dressed in silence, Alex kept glancing at Henry. His expression was neutral, but that little corner of his mouth told Alex that the blonde's mind was anything but that. Henry sat on the end of the bed, tying his dress shoes. Alex nudged him with his besocked foot and said, "Hey, it's gonna be okay. Don't sweat Zahra. She's all bark, no bite."
Henry smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Alex knelt in front of him and took his hands. Rubbing his thumbs over those smooth knuckles, he said, "Talk to me, baby."
Henry bit his lip, a flash of white sinking into that rosy flesh, before he mumbled, "Did you mean it?"
Alex frowned. "Mean what?"
"When you..." Henry made a noise, a choked little something that made Alex want to comfort him. His eyes were red when he said, "When Zahra asked if it would make a difference if she told you not to see me again...you said no. Did you mean it?"
Oh. Alex stood and sat down next to his transatlantic booty call? sometime lover?, their hands still linked. In that moment, the answer seemed so obvious. While he respected Zahra, he was a grown man now, not a teenager. This was his life and his relationship. If it went down in flames or turned into something more solid, it would be Alex's choice. His mother nor her chief of staff would not make that decision for him.
Alex cupped Henry's cheek and said, "I did."
Alex huffed a laugh when Henry pulled him into a desperate kiss. Henry's hands in his hair and on the small of his back, the little choked moan when Alex parted those plush lips with his tongue...whatever this was, Alex would do anything to keep it.
Unfortunately, even though Alex wanted nothing more than to strip himself and Henry naked for one last tumble in the sheets, he wouldn't put it past Zahra to have a timer set on her phone. He broke their kiss and rubbed his thumb over Henry's spit-slick lips.
"Call me when you get home?"
"I will."
A/N- It's been a hot second since I read the book, but I think at this point, the boys were still operating under the delusion that what they had was casual but mutually exclusive. Silly lads.
Check out this post and join the fun in celebrating the one-year anniversary of our little romcom that could being released!
#rwrbmonth#red white and royal blue#firstprince#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#zahra bankston#rwrb#rwrb movie
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So there's a poll that crossed my dash (https://www.tumblr.com/lansplaining/739863989923856384/in-a-time-travel-situation-to-save-himself-jgy if you're curious) about what JGY would do if he traveled back in time. There's lots of incredible but totally dissenting ideas in the notes, and now I really want your perspective. JGY dies in Guanyin Temple and wakes up in the past: what's his game plan?
oh man this is an interesting question! and so much of it is "it depends", particularly on "where in the past does he end up."
I think the first answer is actually to a certain extent "freeze and despair" because the thing is that from Jin Guangyao's perspective, he's never had a whole lot of options. His mistakes - or at least, the things that got him in trouble - look like, if not inevitabilities, a question of "what could I have done that would've been better?", at least at (his own) first impression. I think a lot of the time he makes the choices he makes because he feels cornered into them. He kills Nie Mingjue because otherwise he will die. Whether he was directly responsible for Rusong's death or not (I tend to think not, but I also think the text is deliberately ambiguous), it's a matter of preserving what little reputation he has (and MDZS tells us, repeatedly, that reputation can be the difference between life and death). The incest is thoroughly accidental and, once it's done, fairly inescapable without severely damaging both his own reputation (not an insignificant matter) and that of Qin Su, who he cares for deeply; once he knows he does what he can by ceasing to be intimate with Qin Su.
The only thing that I think is definitely not about feeling cornered is Jin Guangshan's death, which is far more personal; but there is also the consideration that if he doesn't kill Jin Guangshan he is quite probably going to be pushed out, one way or another. I don't remember if it's explicit or not, but Jin Guangshan's bringing in of Mo Xuanyu isn't not a threat that Jin Guangyao is replaceable.
So I think Jin Guangyao, back in time, looks at his options and thinks what am I supposed to do that won't end in disaster, when part of what doomed me was what I am (my mother's son), in and of itself.
He can try to stay in Nie Mingjue's good graces, but that means submitting himself to abuse from Nie subordinates and accepting his "place" with the Nie, which he doesn't want. If he never works as a spymaster for Wen Ruohan, then he never has the means to gain status, and if he works as spymaster for Wen Ruohan then he gains Nie Mingjue's suspicion if not enmity, which is likely to spiral rapidly both because of Nie Mingjue's inevitable deterioration and their drastic differences in perspective in general. If Jin Guangyao ends up with the Jin, he ends up having to do the same things that make Nie Mingjue so angry with him on behalf of his father, because it's not like he can say no. If he kills his father, he might have a chance, but he's also then committed a crime that if anyone discovers it will earn him universal approbation and has to live in fear of that for the rest of his life, intensified by his previous experiences/trauma from the former timeline. If he tries to make sure Nie Mingjue dies in the war, that's risky in itself, because if he is implicated even slightly in it he's also doomed.
Then, if he's only traveled back in time to when he's already joined the Jin after the Sunshot Campaign, it's even worse: he's already in a bad position with Nie Mingjue, who is going to become a (at least potential) threat to his life, but killing Nie Mingjue triggers Nie Huaisang's revenge. Killing Nie Huaisang is maybe an option but he would have to get away with it and that's intensely risky, and not something I know that he necessarily wants to do.
(I think he would kind of like to kill Nie Huaisang. I think he is very angry with Nie Huaisang. Definitely not going to be getting close to him at all, and I think would cut him off from any personal connection as politely as possible. Imagine how Nie Huaisang would feel about this with no understanding as to why, it's fun.)
If he doesn't do anything - leaves Jin Guangshan alive, leaves Nie Mingjue alive, leaves Nie Huaisang alive - he might be able to get through it alive. But from his perspective (at least) I think there's decent odds that Nie Mingjue would kill him, or at least a significant risk of it - if nothing else, because Nie Mingjue is going to lose control eventually and Jin Guangyao is a frequent target of his anger even when he is under control. And even if that doesn't happen, again, there's likelihood that he will have to live under his father's oppressive thumb for a long time, knowing that he's, not even hated, but just worthless to him. Knowing that his mother was worthless to him, and feeling, I think, that by being filial to his father he's betraying her. If Jin Guangshan doesn't just kick him out of the sect with nowhere to go.
I do think that while there's a part of Jin Guangyao that could, maybe, accept a low status as a means to survive (and I don't know that he would have anything but a low status in any other sect but the Jin; even his killing of Wen Ruohan doesn't earn him general respect), I think he would be miserable, and always resent it. I think that would feed into the despair, too: that this is his fate, that all his struggle and striving was for nothing and this is all he can do if he wants to live. That there was never any place for him in the world.
and taken all together this is why time travel fix-its where things are different because "Jin Guangyao just [whatever]" kind of drive me a little nuts, both from a logical and a character perspective. I'm not saying it's impossible. just that it's very difficult, and there's not a lot of pathways to happiness for my boy on his own without help - and where is he going to get help? just like the first time around, he's on his own.
#conversating#flamingwell#jin guangyao#the sad queer cultivators show#i haven't looked at the notes because i'm scared to look at the notes on that post#but this was interesting to think about and i guess something i have a lot of feelings on#mostly about how i do think the 'freeze and despair' response is at least somewhat likely#even if it's only temporary#because jin guangyao is persistent! he does persevere!#but at a certain point a guy has to feel like he can take a hint#that the world doesn't want him
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If you don't mind me asking a similar question as last time, is there anything you would change or rewrite in Act II? (For me, I would've made the Nighteye Agency arc a training arc where izuku learns prediction and analysis, and have it run parallel to Ochako's internship (which gets a bigger focus here and highlights other aspects in heroics like emergency logistics or communications) and Shouto/Bakugou's makeup classes/final exam and gotten rid of the Joint Training Arc altogether.)
Hmm, believe it or not, I wouldn't make as many changes to Act Two. Horikoshi is better at setups compared to executions, and most of Act Two is set ups.
In retrospect, the Provisional Licensing Exam wasn't a bad Arc. It brings the Commission and how they quantify good heroics out into the forefront. Bakugou not getting his license was a good choice. Shouto failing also made sense under the circumstances, though it would have been more meaningful if Inasa's motivations were a bit more compelling than you're dad was mean to me once as a kid.
Deku versus Kacchan Part Two: It needed more from Izuku. Izuku needed to be able to air his grievances to make this fight tolerable. Also, less coddling of Bakugou right afterwards from All Might would have helped. Bakugou finding out about One for All wasn't the end of the world. It allowed someone to think about the gravity of the situation but still not care enough about Izuku as a person to stop the downward spiral Horikoshi had planned for him.
Overhaul/Shie Hassaikai: I wouldn't change much of anything about the Nighteye, Mirio, and Izuku aspect of this arc. It was a good character conflict for Izuku, but the issue is that he never got to really resolve the insecurity he gains from this arc. The character backstory for Nejire that Horikoshi put in the final arc should have been placed here with the rest of the Big Three's backstories. The final arc was too late to make the readers care about Nejire and because her backstory parallels Shouto and Bakugou's backstories in some ways, it could have made the transition to their little Babysitter's Club Arc less janky. Ochako had a key moment of character development at the end about her goals as a hero that would have been more effective if there was more focus on her work study throughout the arc. The pacing of the hideout raid portion of this arc was a mess and some of it could have been cut out without affecting the story in any meaningful way.
I wouldn't change much about the make up classes/babysitter's club arc. All Might and Endeavor's conversation on what it means to be a symbol matters. This arc could have done more with Camie and Inasa considering it was the last time there was time to make the reader care about them. Both Bakugou and Shouto had good character development too.
School Festival Arc: Something about the pacing of it just felt off. The main beats of saving someone's spirit as well as physically were all well and good, but for a Class 1A arc it mostly only did anything interesting with Jirou and Aoyama (and Izuku). It's also unclear to me why La Brava was set up as a redeemable villain in this arc. More would need to be added about her and her goals/ideals to make that believable or thematically consistent.
Pro hero arc: Hawks' introduction was on point and the Commission was originally an interesting potential antagonist. Some of the Endeavor stuff from this arc was really jarring when it initially came out, but it's less of an issue given how Endeavor's arc ends. It would have been better if there was more dialogue from Shouto, Fuyumi, and Natsuo about their misgivings about the situation.
Joint Training Arc: Just remove this arc entirely outside of the One for All lore. Almost none of this was necessary. It was far too late in the story to introduce Class 1B. This should have already happened in the Sports Festival and the Forest Training Arcs.
This post is already long and Act Two covers around half the manga, so I'll end it here. These were the arcs that covered the immediate aftermath of All Might's retirement and normal hero society. Everything after this point was the set up for the war that destroys everything later.
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at risk of inviting commentary that will upset me into my life (🤪)...what exactly did you guys find annoying about season 3 Keeley *herself*?
I guess for me I 100% get being annoyed by the choices that were made for her storyline (lord knows, me too) and being ~frustrated~ by Keeley herself as she continued to make some questionable choices. But i think being annoyed BY HER/who she is as a character is a different thing for me? Because for the most part I thought her reactions to the stuff happening to her made sense for who she is and I definitely don't think she herself became unlikable in the process? If my serious boyfriend broke up with me and didn't offer any sort of explanation right as I was going through a massive career transition and feeling intense imposter syndrome about it, and then I got drunk with my funder/boss and ended up sleeping with her and getting into a relationship, which she then announced to the entire office whilst hiding me from her friends/family because she felt embarrassed by me. and THEN she love bombed me and THEN she ghosted me after we got into an argument in which she put her image and money and snob reputation over what was the right thing to do after my NUDES LEAKED. oh yeah, and then my ex came by to ask who said nudes for for. WELL. I think that I too would go a little bit batshit insane and spiral! and don't forget about the Shandy of it all. Personally I think Keeley's reactions were exceptionally clear headed and valid given the general insanity of that scenario (though of course i do think she deserved FAR more agency in her narrative). I still found it easy to root for her even as they did stupid things with her character arc because i very much continued to find her likable and interesting, not annoying. so i'm just curious.
#feel free to message me your thoughts on anon if you don't want to share in the comments im genuinely curious#even if i disagree with you i promise to be nice about it lol#keeley jones#ted lasso
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Honestly, the Sumin of the live-action adaptation freaks me and icks me the hell out more than the one from the webtoon. Didn't think that was ever gonna be possible.
I read a post on this tag the other day about how people are hating on Sumin because she "acts cutely" and it was said with the undercurrent of "y'all just hate women" (at least that's how i took it). It sat with me for days and I was pondering on that before I settled on a response.
Sumin gets hate not because she "acts cute". She gets hate because she manipulates and weaponises her "cuteness" to weave her webs and warp things around to suit her. Sumin is hated not because of her comfort in expressing her femininity but the way she uses that femininity to, for the lack of a better word, abuse the trust, respect and love that others have for her.
But do people love her, is yet another question? In the narrative, original Jiwon definitely loves her -- friend, family, sister, her other half... all that jazz. Minhwan definitely loves her for what she gives him -- an ego boost that a beautiful woman could want him (how manly /s), the inflated pride of being able to bag the wife and the whore.
I digress.
We were talking about Sumin of the live-action adaptation.
Too often I find myself watching live-action adaptations and going, "oh this could have been done like that", "oh they omitted that but they left this part in", "huh that's an interesting narrative choice", and much more often than not, I find myself hating it outright (re: howl's moving castle). But with this? Gawd, this version of Sumin is far more obsessed, far more cruel. You get the feeling that she is spiralling and you know she is going to keep doing even crazier shit to keep Jiwon by her side.
And that, if I'm being honest, is her appeal.
This "cute" girl who deadass speaks in aegyo and cutely charms her way through life with her big wide eyes and pouty lips, but who is just as adept at staring at you with those bug eyes and a serial killer smile when the switch flips for her.
I genuinely have been loving the changes that they've been making and I think it keeps it fresh and exciting for us who had loved the webtoon. I don't know. The thoughts are escaping me for now but whatever tendrils I could make sense of, I hope they made sense to you too.
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As someone who got introduced to the series via the anime, but followed you because of your posts and sheer passion of the RKDD series itself, hearing about your lack of passion for the series nowadays makes me concerned for the future of the series.
I'm a lay person, so the little I know about the manga side of things comes more from your posts. I know that the manga and anime are essentially two different animals, so I don't really compare between the two of them.
In this particular case of the manga lately, I have been wondering more and more about who's story AA wants to tell. While I like the mysteries, and in most Sherlock Holmes adaptations, the mystery is a highlight, the way for the audience to get invested into the mystery is through the audience surrogate in John Watson. For me, I get invested into the mystery based on the effect that the circumstances surrounding the case have on the two leads.
Based on your posts lately, more and more, I've been seeing AA start to set up grand mysteries, but I've also been seeing less and less of Toto and Ron's co-partner dynamic.
In the beginning of the series, when Ron's police license is taken away and he chooses to use Toto as his "mouthpiece" so to speak, there was always an air of, "this relationship is mutually beneficial to the both of us."
Lately though, it seems like now that Ron's reclaiming everything that was taken from him from his past to his intellect, it very much seems like Toto's questioning his purpose for existing. By itself, this sort of arc is not unusual. But I find it weird how Toto's left to grapple with those feelings of self-doubt while Ron becomes this more self-assured detective.
Toto's feelings of self-doubt and his desire to be useful is nothing new and continues to show itself since the beginning of the series.
What I am disappointed by though, is that Toto is not fighting. This is the same character who willingly threw himself off buildings and got himself into life threatening situations for the truth. This is the same character who has unconditionally believed in Ron even when all of the evidence pointed to the contrary. He has overturned assumptions against Ron, bit by bit. To see that in the manga, he has been reduced to this brooding mess is disappointing.
I find AA's choice to let Toto stew in his feelings of self-doubt without really exploring them kinda weird too because Toto's shown himself to be very emotionally savvy when it comes to people. He might not be the most logical thinker, but he does have a knack for people. He's able to get people to open up to him in ways that I think Ron can't. I think AA easily could craft a narrative where Toto realizes his co-dependency on Ron is unhealthy and he needs to break away from that, and his struggles with trying to train his brain, but realizing that his strength is in people and ask to work with Ron as equals. Or a narrative where Toto just continues to spiral and spiral until we hit rock bottom where Toto's dependency on Ron hits dangerous levels, and Ron realizes that Toto's intentionally self-sabotaging himself and his abilities and takes action to remedy that. That could lead to some really interesting moments between them.
But by letting Toto stew as a bystander in the mystery, I feel like that's a wasted opportunity and a dangerous sign for the series. It tells me that this series might not be interested or willing to commit to Toto's POV or his story, which is sad, cause Toto's an interesting character.
Yes. All of these things. Thank you so much for voicing them out.
I should have known that manga and anime RonToto are always different. And I still stand by it.
In short, I miss Toto’s fighting spirit that he has shown during the earlier chapters, if one would compare them now (from the recent chapters) Toto’s traits are all gone, erased.
I wonder if AA has a plan for Toto other than making his self-doubt bigger than you and me. Without explaining it nor Ron’s taking a notice of it, everything is just noise.
On the other hand, maybe I am just misunderstanding all of it. Perhaps this is the angst that everyone is waiting for. I love codependency. But you see, Toto has shown growth, and the plot should have progressed after that. It only means, we’ve gone back to square one.
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