#but it's how I have to live because trying to keep my foot too firmly in either door
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I had 1 (one) good day of like 'oh yeah, I'm a human and I know how to talk to people' and immediately after it was followed by my brain doing it's Shit.
#dear brain- shut the fuck up#'Kris why do you consider yourself the craziest person in any room you're physically in'#because most of those people don't have hallucinations and delusions.#they don't hear voices.#they don't dissociate so hard that they lose grip on reality#they don't cry because they're not sure if something is real or not and because they know the fact that they're questioning it...#whether or not it is a delusion or a hallucination- or really their the fact that they're questioning reality at all is bad#I say 'I believe xyz and I know it's not real' and people think that's Well Adjusted of me#or they're not sure what it means to believe something and know it can't be real#but it's how I have to live because trying to keep my foot too firmly in either door#the delusion isn't real. or that it doesn't exist at all-#caused me so much distress when I was younger#but sometimes. sometimes I open my mouth and a new delusion comes out and I only know I've been delusional based off of the horror#or confusion on people's faces#and because I am a Well Adjusted Crazy now#and I don't run in Mad Pride circles anymore#and I make sure I get enough sleep and I make sure I get enough to eat and I stop and I breathe and I make sure I get movement#I do All The Healthy Things just to have a fucking base line that allows me to mask#because I couldn't always.#and do you know how much I fucking hate that i have to do *so* much just to still believe there's a siren living in the train station#and that sometimes I can't take the train home because I know i'm not strong enough to avoid her song#but if I said that outloud everyone would just think I was writing poetry again#look at the metaphor- it's a little on the nose don't you think?#I am a Well Adjusted Crazy now. Did my time in the white rooms and the couches. If my therapized self was a human- it'd have graduated#it'd have a degree.#I guess in many ways... it does.
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Blazing eyes
Maleficent x Reader(GN) x Hades . ROR-VKs & You
“professor-” he slams the door close, leaving you alone… you naturally louch yourself to the door and try to pry it open, sadly it won't budge “cursed old fucking man -OPEN! ABRACADABRA! PRESTO! BIBIDBOBIDIBO! COMONNNNNN BITCH-”
“poor thing has lost it” Hook whispers.
“we haven't tried bitch as a pass wold tho” Morgie added in “didn't work, but it would have been so funny if it did”
“OPEN SESSAME!”
“alright alright alright” Uliana gets up from her seat “calm down, we don't bite”
“much” Hades adds and seconds later Maleficent hits his head firmly.
Or... how you got recruited as a new VK and the drama that comes with being friends (and for some more) of the young villains
In a world of princesses, princes, knights, evil fairies and gods you were neither, perhaps one could say you were even less, a commoner, a plebeian with the most average sprinkle of magic yet to set foot in Merlin Academy again. Never a stand out and when your voice was heard it was almost as if the room could swallow it whole for how little it mattered in the grand scheme of things.
What would you be when you graduated? A tug? A squire? Perhaps if lucky an advisor or even a right hand confidant of a big name hero or villain. Maybe just a normal baker, who's to say, after all, the unremarkable have their own gift, destiny, profecies and duty wasn't yours to claim after all, so your life is yours and yours alone to mold, change, waste, thrive and live.
But oh that doesn't mean you can't impact lives, no, rather the opposite, you can be the last straw or the first domino that will never see the finish line but will be remembered as fondly and bitterly as the eyes that saw you last.
And our story starts not by your eyes, but by hers, a young fary sits bored out of her mind in a perfect, dreadful, evening at detention with the fools she calls… allies…. Yes, that felt… correct enough, and with the infant God she could only denominated as a passing interest at best, a boyfriend at worst.
Morgie, being the little snake that he is, can't keep still and out of the woods for long before he starts budging the magical reinforced windows, she won't blame him, after all she herself did the same thing some months ago and now the windows have a reflective spell to “keep students safe”, as if they didn't threw out weaklings out of those even before her… “sneeze incident”, as if she could even make mistakes, that was a purposeful fire breaking breath right into the window's direction and not because Uliana's cologne was too strong that day, absolutely preposterous of principal Merlin to spread that ridiculous rumor about her, she had to curse twice the students to shut their giggles that week all because of that pompous old man.
James had given up cheering for Morgie and now laid back, boots staining the desk shining his golden rook and by his pout being extremely disappointed in his eyeliner not being as sharp as it was 20 minutes ago.
“Uliana~” he called, a melodic tune echoing in the almost empty classroom “dear, scariest witch of the sea, seafoam of my dreams”
“call me that one more time and I'll give your other hand to tictoc as a gift asshole” the leader of this little band of mischief smirked, pointing her little switchblade at him, she sat at the teacher's desk, marking one more tally to their monthly visit and, before being interrupted, curiously checking to see if new marks were made by new potential allies “what do you want?”
“do you have that miraculous eyeliner in you again? I think I missed a spot” the young sea witch rolls her eyes in amusement and one single tentacle leaves her back, the black tube almost reaching Hook's good hand, then it doubled back and threw it in his bad hand's direction, the boy caugh it without much fuss and dangled it in her direction, wiggling his eyebrows in victory.
“much thanks beauty”
“your parents should have named you Narcissus”
“and you should try being a pitcher to this years baseball team”
“you would be too good for them tho” the young God spoke from behind the black fary, playfully passing the same blue flame around his fingers “I saw Jame's fumble a bit this time”
“I didn't fumble anything!”
“yes you did”
“did not”
“did too”
“did-”
The door of the class is slammed open by what Maleficent can smell is the dire's magic, his voice getting closer and closer, Uliana decides to move to the closest chair, not interested in prolonging the tedious lesson with an extra 15 minutes of more lecture.
“I'm again so thankful you could come dear” Merlin's voice echoed inside “it's so hard to find generous students like yourself, always ready to help the ones with the most difficulty”
All teens roll their eyes and look at each other's direction just to confirm that they weren't just hallucinating the most basic and fakest sweet talk to ever exist, and by all means they did experience each “baby's first manipulation” attempt, and they were not as fake sounding as his.
“you are too kind professor” the nervous little laugh gave away whoever they were wasn't as ingenious as half this school seemed to be ”I did say i wanted to try everything once at least in my years resolution papers, and I mean it”
“such admirable dedication to academics I sure hope you pass a little bit of that for this… study… group” the hesitation in Marlin's voice made Morgie snort and fall to the ground, wich made Hook tremble and poke his own eye, which prompted him to swing his hook in ager back, ready to curse the son of Morgana, but his hook went flying off its place hitting Hades’ foot, making the God scream in pain, losing control of the little flame that hit the teacher's desk making if catch fire so bright it flames so wild that a stray one reaches Uliana's pants.
It is in that moment that you and professor Merlin walk in the class, the VKs growling and cursing at each other in the middle of chaos. The professor calmly puts the fire out, as does Uliana, Hook grabs his hook back, Morgie scrambles to go back to his seat, Hades takes a deep breath, hair turning back to it's blue hue and Maleficent holds the biggest ugly laugh she can fell boiling from the deeps of her core.
Your eyes travel slowly through the most infamous trouble makers of this school, from Uliana's defiance, to Hook's flirtatious, Morgie's mischievous, Hades’ unimpressed and Maleficent's cold stare. Taking a deep breath and clenching your bag you turn 180 degrees and start marching out of class, professor Merlin was not so happy with your attitude since he decided to grab your shoulders firmly and smoothly turn you back around.
“today class, a very generous classmate offered to help me supervise you all” Merlin smiles “which is just so great because I'm need for a very important meeting and am already-”
And in that moment you made the biggest mistake you could have made that day, you defied the authority figure right in front of the punks wannabes of Merlin Academy “absolutely not” you dance around his grasp and just didn't bolt out right in that instance because the old man was blocking your path.
“now now” your name falls from his lips as if he's talking to a child “I know you have the good it takes to help those unfortunate individuals”
“I don't have shit!” you could feel all eyes turning to you, the class has your attention.
“language child!”
“I could teach math and potions and curses and counter curses to anyone, but being responsible for a whole class that will harass me to death if I don't let them out was not in our agreement sir“ you try to dance around the sorcerer again.
“watch your tone, those are very heavy accusations”
“yes we would never do something like that” Uliana puts more log to this blazing circus as Morgie tries to hide better the straw and paper balls he just finished doing in broad daylight for all to see.
Merlin cleans his throat, bringing attention back to him as he side eyes the girl “as I was saying, it will only be for some minutes! I'll be back as soon as possible” the headmaster starts to get out of the door still facing the class “I'm sure you can handle them”
“professor-” he slams the door close, leaving you alone… you naturally louch yourself to the door and try to pry it open, sadly it won't budge “cursed old fucking man -OPEN! ABRACADABRA! PRESTO! BIBIDBOBIDIBO! COMONNNNNN BITCH-”
“poor thing has lost it” Hook whispers.
“we haven't tried bitch as a pass wold tho” Morgie added in “didn't work, but it would have been so funny if it did”
“OPEN SESSAME!”
“alright alright alright” Uliana gets up from her seat “calm down, we don't bite”
“much” Hades adds and seconds later Maleficent hits his head firmly.
“we can be civil see” she shows her gang, all… sitting in various degrees of proper but sitting still nonetheless “now what's you name? I didn't catch it seeing some so…”
She looks you up and down, judging from you clothes to your hair to your posture, her month forms a thin line as she thinks in how to describe you ”comum, sticking it to that old man was kinda impressive”
You rest your head in the door, a defeated sigh leaves your lips with your name in it, Uliana tests it a few times and sits in the closest table “you don't happen to have famous parents do you?”
“take a guess” you mumble, choosing to sit down and accept your fate.
“that explains why I don't remember seeing you around here”
“we are in the same classes…”
“I skip those, anyways, so the headmaster is in a meeting? Do you know what class it’s happening in? ”
“why would I know?”
“You two just seemed so close y'know” You roll your eyes, a headache already forming inside your head.
“he got my name wrong but sure whatever makes my life easier, did any of you try breaking the windows?”
“Morgie dear was just about to start biting them” an offended “hey” can be heard in the background as the boy momentarily stops gossiping with his friend.
“do you know if it's a spell? A charm? A ward? We need to get going and I think you would be happy with us gonne too”
“it could be a potion for all that i know”
“you are quite useless aren't you?” her eyes lock with yours, daring you to fight back… you double down.
“you have no idea” you raise your chin and summon your biggest smile “a snail is more useful than I!”
You immediately let your facade down, head resting between your closed arms “just leave me be and continue doing whatever it is that you do”
The girl grins in amusement “aren't you spunky, color me impressed” she gets out of your table and lowers herself to your eye level “I see some potential, we could be friends, what do you say?”
“...” for a moment, the young sea witch thinks “hook, line, and sinker” but her expectations are shattered as you point behind her and says “your rescue has arrived”
Turning around she sees her little group of misfits, the ones that were still out there one stacked on top of the other, curse book in hand, they wave excitedly to her and signal for all to move out of the way.
Hades immediately gets up pulling Maleficent with him, and a blast breaks the glass “it wasn't supposed to shatter it!” The caster panics, making their little tower lose balance and fall, hopefully they weren't hurt too badly.
Uliana sighs annoyed, but moves to the window anyway “out we go then! Don't think I forgot about you, I'll be keeping a close eye, and if you change your mind, you can find us it's not that hard” she looks at you as her four tentacles graciously take her down and out of detention.
Hook winks at your direction and jumps out “pleasure meeting you sweet, sorry we couldn't talk longer schemes to make, pranks to pull you know the drill”
“bye!” Morgie waves at you as he also jumps out.
Hades moves to leave, a half wave at your direction as he waits for the horned fae take his hand, Maleficent looks at you up and down, he eyes lock with yours, they glow a neon green and you feel as there are eyes everywhere “see you around”
At least it's only you, the shattered window and deep feeling of dread creeping in your back.
#descendants rise of red#descendants 4#uliana descendants#morgie le fay#descendants maleficent#descendants hades#descendants james hook#maleficent x reader#hades x reader#maleficent x reader x hades#gender neutral reader#self insert#x reader#descendants x reader#descendants ror#ror x reader#i said i would do it and here it is
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ShawnXreader? Bratty reader getting a spanking from HBK?
Thank you, lovely Anon! Hope this hits the spot…
“Honey, I’m home!”
You grin at the sound of his voice as the front door opens and then you curse quietly as you realise the half-full takeout cup is still perched on the table. You leap up and grab it, swiftly tucking it away behind the couch. You’ve already had your quota of iced coffee ‘concoctions’ (as Shawn calls them), for the week and so you’ll be in trouble if he sees it.
You turn around with a smile and he drops his bag to the floor and opens his arms. With a happy giggle you leap into them and he kisses you, spins you around and sets you back on the floor before pulling you in for a deeper kiss. You close your eyes and drift into it when he suddenly stops and leans back, looking at you closely.
“What?” You pout at the abrupt end to the kiss but he just continues to stare, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Do I have something on my face?”
“Where is it?” He says, casting suspicious glances around the room and then turning back to you after noticing the ring of condensation on the table.
You feel yourself blush but try to appear nonchalant, saying with a frown, “Where is what?”
He gives you a warning look. “Baby girl, I can see the chocolate in the corners of your mouth and I can taste the coffee. Where is it - or did you finish it already?”
You roll your eyes and say huffily, “It’s only a drink.”
He gives his head a small shake and his tone is measured as he replies, “We’ve talked about this, remember, and you agreed that you were having too many of those things. You asked me to set a limit on how many you should have and so-”
“I wanted one!” You practically stamp your foot and your voice raises as you interrupt him.
All Shawn raises is his eyebrow. “Did you forget who you’re talking to? Sounds like you need a time-out, little girl; go stand in the corner.”
Folding your arms tightly and pouting, you go to push past him but he stops you with a hand on your shoulder. “After you answer my question and tell me where it is.”
“Find it yourself,” you mutter, shrugging his hand off.
“Yeah, keep it up, brat. You’ve just upgraded from a time-out to a spanking.”
You’re annoyed at yourself for letting him down and for being caught out, but you know that now he’s said you’re getting a spanking there’s no way back from it, so it’s time for damage limitation. “It’s behind the couch,” you say quietly, head down.
“Go get it.”
Dragging your feet slightly you go and retrieve the cup, before turning back around to face him and he inclines his head towards the door.
“Into the kitchen and get rid of it.”
With a small sigh you do as you’re told, carrying it through to the kitchen where you remove the lid and pour the liquid down the drain. You don’t care - it no longer seems as appealing as it did before. You rinse out the cup too, and you’re about to dry it a little when his voice floats through to you.
“It doesn’t take that long - get your butt back in here!”
You return to the living room and he’s sat on the couch, waiting. You pause in the doorway and then he beckons to you.
“Over my knee. Now. You know what happens to little brats who don’t follow the rules.”
You swallow and make your way over before slowly getting into position with your hips in his lap. He shifts you about a little and pulls your sweats and underwear down to your knees before guiding your arms out in front of you.
“You gonna keep those there, or do I need to hold on to your hands?”
“Keep ‘em,” You answer quietly and he strokes a hand down your back. The comfort is only momentary because in the next second his hand lands hard on your butt and you gasp with a mixture of shock and pain. He alternates between each cheek, delivering three more hard smacks and you whimper and clench your hands into fists.
“You know why you’re being punished, don’t you?” His free hand presses firmly into the middle of your back as he deals another half dozen blows.
“Uh huh - yes!” You correct yourself, knowing that you’re supposed to use your words.
He pauses the spanking for a moment and squeezes your cheeks. “Tell me,” He says quietly.
“I - I broke the rule about how many coffees I can have,” You say and then cry out as a fresh volley of hits lands on your skin.
“And…?”
You close your eyes briefly, feeling ashamed. “I - I lied to you about having it.”
“What else?” You don’t answer right away and so he unleashes again with a series of hard smacks that alternate on your cheeks, ending up with a couple of hits to your tender sit spot.
“I was rude! I’m sorry!” You kick your feet but to no avail as he just shifts to clamp one of your legs beneath his own.
“Quit struggling.” His tone is impassive and he reaches across to pinion your wrists without missing a beat before you have the chance to try and reach back to cover yourself. “You earned this baby girl, and you’re gonna take it.”
The only sounds for the next minute or so are the slap of palm against skin and you yelp and wriggle as he lands hard slaps to your bottom and thighs. Tears leak out, a mixture of pain and regret, as you twist your hands together within his grasp. Stupid coffee with it’s syrup and stupid chocolate cream…
“I’m sorry! I won’t do it again, I promise, please!” You cry out as the blows rain down, seemingly getting harder. How can his hands be so soft and yet so hard at the same time?
“Yeah, I bet.” He lands four more hard slaps, and the final one ends with his hand impacting and then rubbing firmly against your burning flesh. You wriggle forward as though trying to escape and then give in to the treatment, as however sore it is, the gesture signals the end of your ordeal.
“You gonna stick to our rules in future, baby girl?” He squeezes the flesh hard and you whimper, kicking your feet again.
“I promise!”
“Alright then,” He answers and releases you from his grip, helping you to your feet. “Into the corner now - five minutes.”
Normally you would pout and argue about corner time, but you’re fairly sure that your ass is a beacon and so without protest you allow him to set you upright and shuffle you to the corner.
“Hands on your head, baby girl. You have a little think there about our rules.”
Backside throbbing, you do as he says, amazed that your butt seems to have developed its own heartbeat.You know of course that you were wrong to break his rule, and even more so to lie about it. You sniff, feeling sorry for yourself and settle in for the wait…
~*~
“OK, we’re all done, baby girl. Out you come. Come on and give me a hug.”
You turn eagerly and throw yourself into his waiting arms, happily inhaling the scent of his skin. “‘M sorry,” You answer truthfully, “I won’t do it again.”
“Sure hope not,” He says, giving you a squeeze. “Much more fun things to do than punish you…”
You look up at him shyly. “Show me?”
…
TTT
#wwe#wwf#shawn michaels#shawn michaels x reader#shawn michaels smut#shawn michaels fanfic#anon asks#thank you lovely anon#TTT Tumblr Asks
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Gross Childhood Best Friend Soap - Alternate Endings
Word count: 1.3K
Warnings: Some angst but like you'll live, you don't end up with Soap though you're rejecting him like that's the whole thing
Part One: You can find part one with the original, happy ending here. Please read that one first so you're up to speed with the context to these other endings.
A/N: As I was writing the end of the Gross Childhood Best Friend Soap fic, I briefly had the thought to make the reader reject Soap, like bitch oh my god have some self worth you don't need to immediately forgive him for being a dick to you.
Anyway, this alternate ending could go one of two ways.
The Immediate Rejection.
“Why don’tcha come back to mine with me, bonnie,” Johnny coos, and for a moment you almost accept his offer.
Almost.
Sure, the boy you’d spent way too many years pining over and never gave you the time of day finally paying attention to you was great, in theory, but it only took a second of reminiscing to think better of it.
This boy was the reason you spent so many nights walking home alone, cursing yourself for falling for his shallow promises spoken by sugar sweet lips again and again.
"Ah, no. Thanks Johnny, but I'm not interested." It comes out dry, but you hope it gets the point across. He had missed his window of opportunity years ago.
Johnny laughs and jostles your shoulder. "Come on, lass. Just a night! Doesn't have tae mean anythin'. I've missed ye."
You hold strong to your word, as attractive as Johnny is, and always has been, you know you're better than that. "Really Johnny, I'm not in the mood."
His hand skirts up your thigh and you groan internally at his inability to take the neon-coloured hint. "I bet I can change that for ye."
Swallowing your pride, you lean into Johnny and cup a hand to whisper into his ear "I have like three STD's at the moment, dude. I don't think you wanna bump uglies with me currently."
It was a silly lie, but you knew it would be more than enough to get the message through his relatively thick skull. You were right, of course, because as you pulled back to take a look at the expression on his face, you had to fight not to burst into laughter.
Johnny looked as though he'd sucked on a lemon but was trying not to let it show. He'd pulled back from you by at least a foot as well, and kept his hands firmly clasped in his lap. "Ah," he said, and cleared his throat. "Well. Good to know."
"Yup."
Silence. You wondered how long it would take Johnny to get up and scout out a different lady, as you were sure he would after this.
As it turns out, it took a grand total of a minute and a half for him to get up, bid his adieus and walk out of the bar, promising he'd call you soon, and wishing you all the best with your... things.
You downed the rest of your drink with a wicked grin stretching across your cheeks and walked merrily home.
2. The Gradual Realisation of Self Worth.
He only comes to you when he needs you.
Only gives you affection when he knows it'll benefit him.
Leaves you cold and alone in bed.
Tells you you're beautiful, says he loves you, but only when you're actively serving him. Patching his wounds. Sending him care packages. Buying him drinks. Always giving, but never receiving.
The bed is so cold.
You curl in on yourself night after night, but you never cry. You are convinced that surely, one day he will return your affection. One day he'll prove you right and show that he has changed, has given up on his shallow promises. You ignore the voice in your head that tells you he hasn't.
You spent so long trying to fix him, put so much time into trying to make him a better person, telling him to eat better, to keep his room clean, teaching him to cook, teaching this man the bare minimum, only to get nothing in return.
He didn't love you, and at this point you weren’t even sure if you liked him. Did you like him, or did you like the comfort of having someone that could hold you, if he wanted to. There was never a guarantee.
You fixed him, but you didn't get to reap the benefits of your own hard work. You fixed him so he could go an fuck over the next person a little less.
You start rejecting his advances, ignoring his texts asking you to come over for a quick fuck. You stop sending him care packages with home made food and letters telling him about how you've been since he was home. You don't answer the door when he knocks. Quitting him cold turkey.
Eventually, he stops texting, stops calling, doesn't throw rocks at your window.
There is silence; a breath of fresh air.
You bump into him at a bar a few months later. You make polite small talk, and he flashes you that grin that pulled you in the first time, but it falls flat and slips from his face. You move away from the hand that caresses your waist.
"Let's get out of here," he bends down to whisper in your ear, "come back to mine, I've missed ye, bonnie." Johnny's hand creeps up your face, a wolf-like grin stretches and snarls across his cheeks.
Your face turns stony, ashen. "Leave me alone, John."
His grin falters at the omission of his nickname, the name you had always called him. In all your years of knowing each other, not once had you called him John.
"Bonnie," Johnny starts, concern flicking over his face. What a joke. He chooses to care now, when he's at risk of losing his quick fuck.
"Don't call me that," your voice is sharp, cutting through the pollution he's breathed on you for so long. "Do not speak to me as if you've ever given more than two shits about me, because I know for a fact the only thing you see me as is a hole to shove your dick in."
You had passed the point of mourning over what could have been, of what you wanted this 'relationship' to be. You were only capable of feeling anger and distain towards the man before you.
"Now, lass, there's no need for ye think that," Johnny rubs your arm in an attempt of comfort that came all too late. "yer more than that to me, I promise."
I promise.
I promise.
I promise.
"Fuck you and your promises, John," you spit, slapping his hand away from you, creating distance between you, because as far as you're concerned, he lost the privilege of touching you long ago. "You're always promising things, but you never mean any of it, do you?"
Johnny stays quiet, his mouth hanging ajar and his hand hovering in midair, as if he's shocked that his actions suddenly have consequences.
"I have tried for so long to continue to see the good in you, to believe that if I just tried a little harder, you'd actually want to pay attention to me, but I look back on that decision to try and I just feel so... stupid! So utterly stupid for not seeing you for what you are, John. Look I want to wish you the best in your future relationships but honestly I think I'd much prefer if you went and choked to death on a bag of dicks."
As much as you thought it would be cathartic to say even a quarter of what you felt Johnny needed to hear, it honestly wasn't. Johnny was silent as you picked up your things and left the bar. He at least had enough of a brain to not call you, but part of you wished he did. The part of you that still hoped the Johnny you grew up with was in there.
You hugged your arms to your chest and kicked the rocks on the pavement as you walked home alone. Again. You went to bed alone. Again. But it felt better.
Johnny wasn't coming back, and you were glad.
#john soap mactavish#john soap mctavish x reader#soap call of duty#soap cod#soap x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#soap mactavish x reader#childhood best friend x reader#john mactavish x reader#john mactavish
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Green Devil with Nico Hischier
A/N: I’m feeling a lil angsty Nico RN. Like I love fluff, but I wanted a little bit of sass from him.
This is part of What My World Spins Around AU. Catch the rest on my masterlist here.
Word Count: 1.4k
Warning: Swearing, jealousy, lil angsty, hinting at smut cause it’s me.
Tonight, I’m living.
Someone bought my coffee in line at the drive thru this morning. Nico is home, and my best friend from high school, Connor, is in town for work. I’ve been dying for Nico and Connor to meet since we started dating, but the timing never seemed to work until Connor texted me last week that he had some time on his next trip. Once I saw Nico was in town, I jumped at the offer.
“I’m really excited for you to meet Connor!” I bubble to Nico as we walk down the sidewalk towards a trendy, Tapas bar.
“Me too.” Nico responds as he wraps an arm around my shoulder. I shiver, clutching his side to try and suck some of the warmth from his body. “Remember I need to leave by 9 though. If you want to stay later, that’s cool with me.” He grasps the handle of the door, opening it for me to walk in. He gives my ass a discreet slap as I go in front of him. I toss a suggestive look over my shoulder that he receives while biting his lip.
If I wasn’t so caught up in myself, I would have taken note of the immediate change in Nico when Connor and I rush to embrace each other. Connor wraps me in a tight hug that causes me to miss the irked expression on Nico’s face about how close his hands are to my ass.
“You look incredible.” Connor smiles widely, taking me in from head to toe. I pose for a second as a joke while he keeps his hands on my hips.
“Find a NHL captain and you too can be this happy.” I turn to Nico who has pasted a polite smile on his face that doesn’t quiet meet his eyes. “Babe, this is Connor. Connor, Nico.”
“Hey man, nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Nico extends a hand. They shake firmly. Connor breaks first.
“You too, man.” Connor juts his chin out in acknowledgment at Nico, then crosses his arms over his chest. “They’re just getting our table cleaned.”
“Oh, okay.” I nod. “So tell me all about Miami. I am dying to hear about your new condo.”
“Unreal views. You should come down next month. We can have a fun weekend together. Get wasted on expensive tequila like Cabo.”
“Oh my god, no.” I hide my face.
“She legally cannot step foot in that resort again.” Connor says to Nico, snickering.
“Long story.” I shake my head, red tinging my cheeks. I’ve never told Nico about it because it’s still so cringy and embarrassing. Connor motions like he’s spewing vomiting. I slap his bicep to give him a warning. “Stop. Seriously.”
Luckily, the host is ready to show us to our table. We spend the rest of the night chatting. Connor and I reminisce about our old high school friends we have lost touch with. We stalk their Facebook pages and Instagrams, laughing at how the more things change the more they stay the same in our hometown. Nico is quiet, but that’s normal with people he doesn’t know well. He seems to be content with fading into the background. At least I thought so.
“I think I’m going to head out.” Nico begins to put his jacket on as Connor and I look over the dessert drink menu. I turn to him, surprised. I check my Apple Watch, seeing it’s barely 8pm.
“Oh okay. Are you okay?” I ask, lowering my voice while I examining him for signs of distress. He seems fine. Maybe he’s just tired?
“Yep. Have a good night, baby.” He barely presses his lips to mine before he pulls away, leaving me with unsatisfied, puckered lips. He tells Connor it was great meeting him as he tosses a few hundred dollar bills on the table for the bill. When his body moves from beneath my fingers, I feel an uneasy chill from his absence. Something doesn’t feel right about this. Connor doesn’t notice and dives back into his persistence of me coming to visit him in Miami next month.
“Um…” I cut him off. “Sorry. I’ll be right back.” I say abruptly, grabbing my coat and purse before rushing to the front of the restaurant. The cold air blasts me, stealing my breath as I look to the left where Nico is about to turn into the parking lot.
“Nico.” I call after him, hustling to catch up with his long strides. “What is up with you?” I ask him breathlessly, reaching for his hand and pulling him to a stop. “And what was that kiss?” I wrinkle my nose in displeasure.
“I’m just tired. It’s been a long week.” His shoulders are rolled inwards as he talks to me, grimacing against the cold wind whipping down at us. I sigh, not liking the way he looks above my head.
“Neeks, you seem upset with me.”
“I’m not.” He shrugs, licking his lips and continuing to avoid eye contact. I cross my arms at his chilly attitude. A realization comes over me at the slight scowl on his face.
“Are you… jealous?” I ask with a small smile.
“No, just… have fun with your friend.” He scoffs, shoving his hands in his pockets. He looks away from me and down the street. I can see his jaw tense as he grits his teeth.
“Wow….” I trail off with a breezy laugh. I step closer, biting my bottom lip. “You look pretty green for red being your team’s color.” I set my hands on his hips, wrapping my arms around his back. I secure myself to him tightly, resting my chin on his chest so I’m looking up at his face. “Babe, look at me.” I soften my voice so he knows I’m done teasing. He licks his lips exasperatedly, then turns his sour, scrunched face to me. I raise my eyebrows, signaling I’m waiting.
“Fuck yeah I’m jealous.” He finally scoffs out. At least he wraps his hands around me, pushing me tighter to him.
“Why?” I can’t even begin to fathom why he feels that way. He’s the sweetest, handsomest, dreamiest man I have ever laid eyes on.
“I feel like he knows you better than me. And I hate that.” I snort, leaning forward to press my forehead to his chest. Nico silently watches me when I pull back.
“Every one of those jokes and stories are from before you.” I pause, waiting for him to soften. When he doesn’t, I continue. “He knows nothing about me anymore. You’re my life now. Not high school football games and Applebee’s late night happy hour.”
“But Miami?” He rolls his eyes.
“I won’t go. It’s obviously bothering you, so it’s not worth it. You’re my priority.”
We stare at each other until Nico finally sighs, looking away at the busy street behind me. I get closer, onto my tip toes, then tenderly pressing my lips on his throat. People pass around us, the world continuing on as we hold each other. I work my mouth up to the nook of his shoulder and neck. I open my mouth a little more, sucking his skin into my mouth. His shoulders relax, head meeting mine as his hands grip my back tighter. I pull away just before I mark him, pressing my nose to the wet spot. I run my hand across his shoulder to the back of his neck and cradle his head. A heavy exhale from him ends our hug.
“Okay.”
“Will you come back with me?”
“No, but you should stay. For real. Spend time with him… then come home to me.” His eyes darken with hunger as he brushes my hair behind my ear, holding my cheek. I watch as he closes his eyes, then leans down to capture our lips together. This is the kiss I needed from him earlier. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, running his tongue along the plumped skin. I’m intoxicated when we pull apart. I stare at the lapels of his jacket.
“Maybe… I wanna come home now.” He smirks at me as I pull my phone out and text Connor a quick lie. “I’m suddenly soooo sick.” Nico leans his head back to laugh towards the sky.
“Let’s go needy girl.”
#nico hischier#nico hischier blurb#nico hischier fic#hockey writing#my writing#nhl fan fiction#new jersey devils
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SO! I found this super sweet and amazing song! Home to me from Moss. Its lyrics reminds me of the Shadowlands and it got my brain rot thinking, what if the partner of Dammon or Zevlor finds them after getting separated while in that veritable hellscape? They reunite and everything is hunky dory (almost)! The partner sees that they are struggling and sings this song to comfort them after everything that has happened. (here is the link so you don't have to go digging into Youtube!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXg6QC3ZQAk
Thanks for the request Anon, I really loved listening to the song and it absolutely gives major Shadowlands vibes. I ended up picking Dammon because my brain kind of clutched onto a specific vision I guess? Either way, I hope you enjoy, I loved writing a bit of comfort for my favourite Tiefling blacksmith :)
The fic isn't too heavy on the angst, reader is gender neutral but is not Tav and is a tiefling.
Home to me
All that runs through your head is thoughts of Dammon. Even knowing he must be beside himself with worry, the mere thought of him is comforting.
You find yourself pressed tight against Lakrissa, the other tieflings arms holding you as firmly as she can, your own tail wrapped tight around her ankle. The echoes of your captors footsteps and the dripping of water turn monotonous as the days pass by. It's too hard to keep track, and soon your group stops trying.
The small group of you fall into a steady silence, all finding companions to clutch and memories to cling to, the only relief you can find in your captivity.
After an eternity, all of you are startled back to reality as a familiar hero comes to stand on the other side of the metal bars, a grin on their face as they find almost everyone alive and merely trapped.
Stepping over the guards dead bodies, trekking through underground tunnels, sailing over a murky black lake with wild shadows lurking at the edges, your journey back to safety is almost as treacherous as the same one leading to your unwanted stay in Moonrise towers.
It's only once you all step foot on solid, safe ground that everyone is able to let out a sigh of relief.
Tearful reunions are all around you, Lakrissa and Alfira wrapped as close around each other as they could, Rolan attempting to hold both his siblings despite the way his body shakes with relief. Once again, the only thing on your mind is a certain blacksmith.
It hardly takes any time to find his new open air forge, well away from the dock you first arrived on. It almost feels like you're in a dream, seeing the expanse of his back as he works at his anvil.
You don't mean to sneak up on him, the ringing of his hammer hiding the sound of your steps crunching in the gravel. The sound of your voice calling to him is what makes him pause, hands letting go of everything he holds when he turns to see you. Whatever he's working on clatters to the floor as he sweeps you up and off your feet entirely, just holding you not enough for him.
You can feel the wet tears pooling and running down the skin of your neck, Dammons face nestled between your jaw and shoulder. It's hard to stop your own tears from falling, hands desperately grabbing for a hold on him.
It takes hours for you to calm Dammon, his hand or tail never leaving your skin for fear you might slip from his grasp again. Even after days you can still see how the worry creases his face, how his eyes linger on you when he thinks you don't notice. As the others settle back into their new normal, and plan for the best way to bring death to Ketheric Thorm, you notice how Dammon seems to stay stuck.
Night falls again, and with it you fear Dammon will find another sleepless night. It's clear he can't keep living like this. Your hands pull him down to rest against your chest, trying to calm him with the soft rumble of a purr building in your chest. Tails intertwine as you refocus his attention on you now, safe and happy in his bed.
Calloused fingers trail patterns over your skin as the silence breaks, a soft melody leaving your lips. "Darkness falls across land, sky, and sea. I can hear your call, calling back to me..."
Only once you sing for him, holding him so desperately close to you, do you see his eyes fall closed and feel his breathing even out against your chest.
#baldurs gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate 3 x reader#bg3 x reader#bg3 dammon#baldurs gate 3 dammon#dammon x reader#baldurs gate 3 x you#bri answers
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no goodbyes | csb
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synopsis: one night. that was all he asked. just one night where they could both pretend that everything was okay and that they were together again.
cw: angst
words: 5.7k (not proofread)
inspired mainly by:
other songs that inspired the imagine:
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The bell rang overhead as she made her way inside the cozy cafe, the smell of the various freshly baked pastries and coffee beans instantly surrounding her welcoming presence. She happily took it all in. It had been ten months since she last stepped foot in this very cafe.
The memories attached to it were far too upsetting to revisit but she felt ready now. She was certain she’d healed enough. She couldn’t let the bittersweet memories of the past stop her from living her life, she wouldn’t. She was finally on track of going back to her regular life.
Before him.
His memory followed her like a ghost.
Every part of the city felt like it held a remnant of their shared history. It would be difficult to escape but it was these little steps that mattered. Even if everything reminded her of him, she would carry on. She had to prove to herself that she could.
Her eyes, as if harbouring a mind of their own, drifted to her favourite table.
Currently, a student occupied it frantically typing on their computer with earphones in.
But that’s not what she saw. She saw herself, keeled over with laughter at something he had said. She saw how he’d try to play it off as something serious, something earnest but the corners of his mouth would lift slightly completely betraying his form. She saw him sitting there and it felt as real as if he were there with her.
As if still dazed from the memory, she saw a man in front of her by the till with a similar build as him. She sighed and tried to get out of her head but stilled.
That voice. It wasn’t her imagination.
Her heart quickened. She wanted to turn and run but her feet stayed firmly where they were. It would’ve been too late anyway. He’d already seen her. The background noise muted around her and in that moment, after ten long months, she and him occupied the same space again. His eyes mirrored hers by nearly bulging out of their sockets. His mouth fell agape, a stark contrast to her closely knit one.
That was the thing with them, they were always somehow so different in their similarities. Now was the question of who would be the first to react.
“Hi.” It was her. His own greeting couldn’t have come off shier if he tried.
“You’re back.” Her eyebrows furrowed and at the realisation of his words, he panicked. “I…no I wasn’t looking for you or anything I just…you haven’t been coming here…I wasn’t keeping tabs or anything I just…” He trailed off and looked at the ground as the awkward air between them was almost suffocating.
“They have the best chocolate chip muffins and I was in the mood for one so…” He made a sound of recognition before awkwardly nodding. She could’ve gotten on her knees right then and thanked the heavens if she could for rescuing her from this situation as his order was called out. He seemed to have the same sentiments as he didn’t waste another second.
“Well, this is my order so…I’ll be going now.” She nodded and gave him a little wave as he made for the door. She watched his retreating figure, wondering how it had gotten to this point between them. How this man who she couldn’t even muster the courage to say a complete sentence to had once been the greatest love she had ever known.
——
She couldn’t believe her luck. It had to be some cruel joke being played on her by the universe because nothing else made sense. She’d gone so long without seeing him again yet in a matter of a week this had been her second sighting of him. What’s worse, she chose this specific book store to avoid him because she was sure he’d have gone to the one they used to frequent. She couldn’t have another cafe incident yet here they were.
Maybe he’d had the same thought as her.
She scoffed. Of course he had. They weren’t teased relentlessly by their friends for possibly being one soul in a past life for nothing.
She found him browsing the fantasy section. She would be near the romance section. Maybe if she played her cards right, there wouldn’t be a need for them to cross paths. That was the plan.
But she wasn’t always good at sticking to the plan.
She wouldn’t approach him, she reasoned, but it wouldn’t hurt stealing a glance or two, would it? He’d dyed his hair from the last time she’d seen him. Blonde. She remembered how she once told him that she really liked blonde on him and from time to time he’d dye his hair colour that, using comebacks as excuses. She had to intervene at some point because of the amount of damage his hair sustained. She had to reassure him she loved his natural hair colour just as much. He would still do it occasionally which always made her blush. Just as it had now. She didn’t want to think too deeply into it, maybe he had preplanned to change the colour before he even saw her again at the cafe for the next comeback. This most probably had nothing to do with her.
But the thought that maybe, just maybe it might have caused a warm feeling in her heart. She brought herself back to reality. What did it matter if it was for her? They were no longer together.
Why did admitting it to herself in that moment feel like a punch to the heart?
She had to wield herself from stealing a final glance at him but her desires overpowered her sensibility.
This was almost akin to the situation they’d been in when they’d first met three years ago except they weren’t in their favourite book store.
And just like three years ago, he felt someone had been watching him and looked over to find the source of his unease. It all felt like Deja vu, how she awkwardly glanced away when she was spotted and rummaged through a random shelf, how he continued to watch her—completely and unexpectedly taken by her presence and how their eyes connected once more when it was her turn to feel as though someone was watching her.
Except, he hadn’t panicked like the last time, hadn’t even gone red. He just stared at her, as if waiting for her next move. She cleared her throat as a means to fill the air but that only made it worse.
“Someone recommended a book and I wanted to check it out. Hence why I’m here.” She let out an uncomfortable laugh.
“Ah. I’ve just finished the first book of this new series I was trying out and I’m here for the second one.”
“Ah, so you like it then?”
“Yeah, surprisingly. It’s not really my style usually but this one is not a bad read. I’ve really enjoyed it,” he said. He showed her the cover.
“I’ve heard about that one. I’ve been meaning to get to it but I’ve been hesitant because I thought I wouldn’t like it.”
His eyes sparked up. “You should definitely read it. I was hesitant too but I absolutely loved it. The protagonist in the beginning is a bit annoying, I’ll admit but the more you read the more you enjoy this adventure you’re being lead on. I’ll lend you my copy—“
He stopped in his track as if a bucket of ice cold water had been poured over him once he remembered. And once again, the awkwardness had returned. “I mean I…it’s great. I should go pay for this one now,” he let out weakly, referencing the book.
She could only give a small smile as an answer, fighting down the lump in her throat. That brief moment they shared felt so natural, felt so familiar that she’d briefly forgotten their present situation.
He returned the halfhearted gesture and she watched him walk away again for the third time in her life.
——
“You should’ve said sooner if you couldn’t make it. I understand you’ve come down with something but a heads up would’ve been nice.”
“I know, I know and I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you I promise,” her friend said from the other line. She had been waiting for her for over thirty minutes, with no show. They had even missed the start time of the movie they were meant to see.
“It’s fine. I hope you’ll feel better soon. I’ll text you when I get home.”
“No, you should stay and watch the movie. We’ll see something else together,” her friend offered. She sighed.
All she had wanted to do was go back home. It was a cold night out she wanted to go back into the warmth of her blankets. Not only for the warmth but because once more in what felt like forever her blankets had been her safe haven. Seeing him had seemingly reverted her progress. She’d gone from hardly ever thinking about him to having him being the only thing on her mind again.
She had honestly welcomed this distraction by her friend to go out to the movies after she too had noticed she’d gone back to her slump. She knew her friend felt bad she couldn’t be there for her in the moment.
“Don’t strain yourself okay? It’ll only slow down your recovery.” She could almost hear her friend roll her eyes.
“It’s just a cold. I’ll be fine.” “I’m serious. If you’re not careful it could be more than that.”
“I’ll be careful, mom.” She chuckled. “Text me when you get home then. If I don’t respond, the medicine had fully kicked in.” She hung up the phone and prepared to call for an Uber when she heard the unmistakeable voice of someone calling her name.
She could only close her eyes and take in a deep breath before slowly releasing it, watching as the mist escaped her nose and mouth. She turned and was now face to face with Soobin. Or at least as close to face to face as they could get given their height difference.
“Were you going to see a movie?” He grimaced. “Of course you were, why else would you be here,” he mumbled under his breath.
She smiled to herself at that. He hadn’t changed. That both warmed her heart and caused it to ache.
“I was going to with a friend but she’s sick so I was going home. Were you going to watch with someone?”
It was meant as an innocent question, but she couldn’t help the quickening of her heart at the thought of an unwanted answer. He awkwardly chuckled and ran his hand through his hair.
“Yeah. Everyone was busy tonight so I’m here alone.”
“Oh.”
They stood awkwardly again. Why had talking to him gotten so difficult? As if coming up with a brilliant idea, his eyes lit up.
“We can watch one together, if you don’t mind? I promise it won’t be anything just two friends watching a movie.”
“Are we friends?” She hoped it didn’t come off unkindly.
He shrugged. “We could be. It’s clear that we’ll be seeing each other more often whether we like it or not for some reason. Might as well make the best of it.” She mulled it over in her head.
There was nothing against being friends with a former partner and he’d promised it’d be nothing more than that. Plus, it had been ten months since they were last together. She felt ready for that step and so she agreed.
That was how they ended up next to each other sharing a bowl of popcorn in the cinema. Soobin had given her the choice of movie to watch and she’d settled for the movie she knew he’d come to see, playing it off as if she’d come to see it too.
Throughout the whole screening, she watched his delightful expressions at the scenes unfolding before them on the big screen, how his laughed overtook his whole body and his face scrunched up in glee and how his mouth would fall agape at the stunts performed.
Every now and then their fingers would brush against each other as they both reached for the popcorn causing warm tints to their faces. Once the movie was over, she listened as he rambled on about his favourite scenes, his mouth almost going a mile a minute.
“Do you think they got hurt performing those stunts? They looked so unbelievable I wouldn’t be shocked if they broke a bone or two.”
“Well, I mean they have stunt doubles I’m sure and they’re trained professionals so maybe they wouldn’t get as hurt?” He seemed to take in her answer.
“I could do it.” She burst out laughing which caused him to smile but he quickly feigned his serious expression. "What? You don’t believe me? I really could.”
“Binnie, I’ve seen you fall off a chair more times than you’d like me to admit. No. You couldn’t.” She hadn’t noticed he’d stopped walking until she looked to her side and saw he wasn’t there anymore. She turned around to find him looking at her intently.
“Soobin?”
“You called me Binnie.”
She blushed and shrugged. “Force of habit. Sorry if it made you uncomfortable.” He shook his head frantically.
“It didn’t. I liked it. I missed it.” She sucked in a sharp breath and averted her gaze.
“Soobin—“
“Why did you break up with me? We could’ve made it work. I would’ve found a way to take less hours if that was the problem—“
“Soobin.” He approached her with a desperate look.
“I would’ve done it. Whatever you asked me to do I would’ve done it.”
“Soobin, not now. You know it had to happen, we spoke about this.”
“You spoke and I listened. I wasn’t even offered a chance of a proper goodbye. You just told me to go.”
The crack in his voice almost sent the unshed tears down her cheeks but she wielded herself not to cry.
“Soobin, please.”
“I just want to at least have a proper goodbye. Just one night. That’s all I asked. I listened to you and I honoured your wishes. Just grant me this one.”
“You’re not being fair.”
“You left me out of the blue. I thought we were doing fine and then the next morning I wake up and everything gets torn from right under me. Who’s really not fair here?” She frantically wiped at the tears that had dared to fall.
“I’m not doing this right now. Goodbye, Soobin.”
“I just want one night. Just one.”
That night when she closed her eyes to sleep, she could still vividly recall the hurt masking his beautiful, kind features and she fell asleep with a heavy heart, his words echoing through her head.
—
17:58. She locked her phone again and placed it in her pocket. Two more minutes. She had two more minutes to back out if she wanted to.
It wasn’t too late but once again her feet had mind of their own. As she neared the spot, her mind drifted to the conversation she had the night before. It had been almost another week since the last time she’d seen Soobin.
She hardly got a wink of sleep and had to come to terms with what she tried to keep suppressed. She’d missed him. Tremendously. She hadn’t stopped thinking about him which should’ve been evident from the promise ring he’d given her that she’d kept around a chain around her neck.
She should’ve known from the stack of manga she kept on what would have been his side of the bed that she bought specifically because they reminded her of him and the cologne she’d spray on his favourite shirt that she’d cuddle with. She knew but she couldn’t admit it.
She thought it was all a part of the healing process but she knew better now. She wasn’t ready to let him go. But maybe this was what she needed to finally let him go.
She had called him, not expecting him to answer but he did. He sounded as surprised as she was.
She didn’t want to waste anymore time and so came right out with it, “You said you wanted one night?”
There was a pause. Suddenly, she was overcome with a sense of dread. What if he’d changed his mind?
His answer felt like a long awaited sigh of relief for them both, “Yes. One night. Where everything is fine. Where we’re how were used to be. And then after that I’ll let you go forever.”
She toyed with the black shirt on her lap. “Then one night is what you’ll get. When will it be?”
“Are you free tomorrow?”
“Mhm.” She couldn’t trust herself to let out a coherent answer besides that.
“Then meet me at our bench at 6PM.”
“You’ll have until sunrise then. Make it count.” She could almost hear his smile through the little screen.
“I will.”
And here she was now, standing a little way from their bench overlooking the river. He was already there and had been checking the time as well. She knew what it read now.
17:59.
She could leave. She could turn around. Instead, she kept moving forward until she was close behind him. His beeper went off on his watch and she could almost see the disappointed look on his face even without yet seeing it. She only smiled to herself as he sighed.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, taking him by surprise due to his stiffened back.
“Boo,” she whispered and kissed his cheek. “Missed me?”
He turned his head to face her, not believing she was really here. Luckily, he caught on and without another moment of hesitation, planted his soft lips on hers. It was an overwhelming experience for both, having gone so long without holding each other let alone kissing each other. She didn’t want it to ever end and she knew he shared the same sentiments but due to their limited time, he begrudgingly pulled away.
“I thought you wouldn’t come.” His dimpled smile warmed her body enough to withstand the current cold climate they were in.
“And miss out on showering my boyfriend in kisses? You should know me better by now.”
That only caused his grin to widen. He stood up from the bench and walked over to her and extended his hand.
“Come on, let’s go.” It was then he saw the turquoise stone on her ring finger. His finger ran over the stone, a dazed expression gracing his features.
“Binnie. Let’s go?” His head snapped up to look into her teasing eyes. He couldn’t hide the blush on his cheeks even if he tried, not that he’d wanted to. Hand in hand, they walked a familiar path—one she was well acquainted with.
She wasn’t surprised when they found themselves in the karaoke room. Soobin had channelled his inner girl group fan as he belted out his various favourite songs with her watching in hysterics. She eventually grabbed the second mic available and joined in on his antics.
“We have to do this one,” he said as he chose the next song to sing. She waited for it to sound through the speaker’s and doubled over as Aespa’s Next Level blasted through.
Soobin, however, saw this as no laughing matter and immediately got into character.
“I’ll sing Giselle and Karina’s parts.”
“What? No way, you always sing their parts! Swap with me!”
But it was too late, he had already started. He sung while simultaneously doing the choreography—incorrectly.
“No, no, that’s not how you do it,” she said between breaths, “you’re doing it wrong.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? You think you know it better than me?”
She turned her game face on and joined him. Soon, they were dancing their hearts out until the end of the song where they slumped down on the sofa, catching their breath.
“I think we have time for two more songs.”
“You sing one and I sing one?” she offered and he agreed.
He went over to choose his final song and soon the room filled with the instrumentals for her favourite song, Sun and Moon.
She watched him intently as he sung each note with perfect precision, as if he had written the song specifically for her, as if it were his own. The lyrics held a lot more weight to them than they ever had. She listened intently as he sang each one with everything he had in him. Her heart swelled, she let them enter. She let them stay. Her mind erased the purpose of this night. It was only her and him. It would always be her and him. Even if just for the moment.
Once he finished she clapped and hollered cheerfully. “Wait, wait ending fairy! You have to do an ending fairy!”
He got into character as he looked out into a distant camera and blew a kiss. She clapped harder and chanted his name.
“Wow, Choi Soobin, you’re so sexy!” His collected demeanour faltered as he ran over to her on the couch and wrapped his arms around her.
“Did you like it?”
“I loved it.” She booped his nose causing him to scrunch it.
“And I love you.” It felt to him like she would be able to hear the increase in his heart rate from where she sat, maybe could even feel it. His skin immediately grew heart from his confession.
He’d gone too far. He knew he only had one night where they would be what they used to be but this had to be pushing the limits. She would stop it all, surely, say it was all a mistake.
What he hadn’t been expecting, however, was her gentle hand on his cheek—the same one that bore the turquoise stone on her ring finger—and her leaning in to place a tender kiss on his lips.
“I love you,” she reaffirmed. They stay that way for what felt like an eternity, with only them in the world.
“It’s my turn now, isn’t it?” He nodded and kissed her once more before she made her way to pick a song.
Her mind pondered over which to pick when she caught sight of Ariana Grande’s i wish i hated you. She recalled many nights she’d had the song playing in the background as she lay under the covers, allowing the sadness and heartbreak to consume her entire being. She wondered if she should dare, it perfectly encapsulated how she felt about him.
But that was not for tonight.
Tonight, everything was perfect. So she opted, instead, for imperfect for you.
She walked over to him while singing and lead him to where she stood, placing his arms around her as they slow danced with her singing while laying his head on his chest. She wasn’t as good as he was by any means but she knew he didn’t care. Soobin held her close, as if letting her go would result in him losing her forever. That wouldn’t be the case—at least not for the night. He didn’t want to think further than that. All he had was this moment.
“Soobin, I can walk, you know?”
“I know. But it’s a lot more fun to carry you.” She giggled into the back of his neck as he fixed her.
“This way, you can finally see the world how it’s supposed to be seen.” She playfully hit his shoulder.
“My view is as good as yours.”
“You can’t even see what’s in the top shelf.”
“That’s why I have you around, my gentle giant.” She kissed his cheek.
“Where to next?”
“Ice cream.” She gasped in delight.
“How’d you know I was craving it?”
“Because I wanted some.” She quirked an eyebrow that he couldn’t see.
“You think you know me so well, huh? What flavour will I get then?”
He playfully mulled it over. “Mint choco even though you swear it’s not your favourite,” he said. The clenching of her heart wouldn’t deter her. She would stay in the moment, in that beautiful moment where everything was fine.
“It’s not my favourite but you really like it,” she argued.
“I tolerate it.”
“Fine, I won’t get this time.”
And unsurprisingly to him, she had gotten the flavour. He laughed between mouthfuls as she walked alongside her.
“You don’t know me, Choi Soobin. I only got this because it was the only flavour there.”
“Then how did I get Rocky Road?”
“The only flavour besides Rocky Road. I didn’t want to match with you.” She pouted, causing a dimpled smile to appear on his mouth.
“Sure.” He jokingly attempted to get a taste but she moved it away.
“Come on, I want some” She glared at him.
“You should’ve gotten it then.”
“I thought you said you didn’t like it. That you didn’t want to match with me,” he quipped. She stuck out her tongue before eating a mouthful. He tried his luck again.
“Get your own, Soobin! Don’t touch mine.”
Soon, he was chasing her with what was once a way to get her to give in. That plan had long failed when both their cups had fallen on the floor leading them to a game of tag. He caught up to her and tapped her shoulder before going into a sprint of his own. She was hot on his heels and this went on until the found themselves back at the park. It had gotten darker now, the moon illuminating the area perfectly.
She spotted two empty swing sets. She turned to Soobin who already knew what she’d been thinking from her mischievous smirk.
“Bet you can’t go higher than me.” He dramatically sighed.
“You say this every time and you lose every time.” She was already running towards one of them.
“I’m sure of it this time!” She settled in and then began kicking her legs to go back and forth. Soobin mirrored her movements.
Soon, they felt like they were flying in the air, one going higher than the other. The only sound that filled the night air was their rambunctious laughter that infected the other, causing them to laugh even louder.
“I won! I told you I’d win!” She victoriously announced.
“No way, I was clearly higher than you.”
“In your dreams, Choi Soobin.” But she knew what he’d done. Still, it wouldn’t deter her from celebrating her triumph.
They came to a stop, still feeling high from the near feeling of flying and pure elation. She felt his eyes on him once they’d come to a complete stop and melted at the familiar loving look he would always cast in her direction. He leaned his head against the chains holding up the seat and she did the same.
“What’s on your mind?”
“The answer will always be you.”
“Shut up.” She blushed as she moved her feet, slightly rocking her back and forth. “What’s the time?”
“I don’t want to check.” She left it at that.
They sat in a comfortable silence, silently swinging beside each other.
She lamented how easy it felt, how easy it was for them to be together. It almost made her forget the reason why she’d ended it. It almost made her wish to tell him that when the sun came up, they shouldn’t give up, that they could try again.
Then she remembered. She remembered the lonely nights, the endless arguments that all stemmed from the same problem but in different packages, the distance, the jealousy, the constant paranoia she would experience. She remembered how it was seldom they could be the way they were right now in public. She always had to be hidden, always had to be looking over her shoulder to make sure she wasn’t followed and all for him. She remembered how even if she would join him, she would be forced to blend in with the shadows which felt like she might as well shouldn’t have come. She remembered the whispers, the stares, the glares. She remembered it all. Her name being called repetitively snapped her back to reality. Back to what this all was.
“I don’t want this night to end,” she told him earnestly.
“Then it doesn’t have to. We can keep it going forever if we wanted to.” She hated to be the one to squash his hopes.
“I meant tonight only. We can’t go on beyond that.”
“But why?”
“I’ve already told you.” It wasn’t like him to get easily frustrated but she understood. He had kept it in for ten long months and finally could let it out.
“No, you never did. You only told me we couldn’t make it work. That we were chasing a hopeless dream. You only told me we lived different lives and even after I begged you, told you I’d do whatever I could to bridge that gap, you still wanted out. You never wanted to try.”
“That’s not true,” she weakly defended herself.
“Yes it is, because you gave up on us.”
“I was tired of feeling lonely, Soobin!” she snapped.
He said nothing as he let her continue, “It felt like I was always alone in this relationship. Like I could be easily discarded.”
“Why’d you never talk to me about this, I could’ve—“
“You had so much on your shoulders already. I saw how stressed you were comeback after comeback with being the leader and all. I saw how hard you were on yourself already. I didn’t want to add on that. You could hardly think straight and I felt I had to put you first during it all. i know it was never your intention to make me feel that way but I did.” She took in a deep breath. “And I don’t want to feel that way anymore, Soobin. I don’t even want there to be a chance that I would. I’m sorry.”
There was an awkward silence between them again, with neither of them knowing how to proceed.
“You can end the night now if you want. I’ll understand.” He shook his head.
“You promised me a full night. It’s not over yet.”
She hesitated as she wondered whether or not her next words would be a mistake. She decided to take the leap. They only had the night and she should at least seize the opportunity presented.
“Then…come back to my place with me.”
He walked around her new apartment. It was still sparsely decorated, having moved out fully from their shared place a little over eight months ago. Even with the limited decorations inside, it still unsurprisingly felt like her.
“Do you want anything to drink? Tea? Coffee? I have your favourite,” she blurted out and then grimaced. The corner of his lip upturned.
“Then I’ll have that.”
“It’s my favourite too. I didn’t buy it because…” she trailed off, hating how she sounded at the moment.
She hurriedly made her way to the kitchen whilst he still looked around. He noticed a large clock on her wall and averted his gaze, not wanting to know how long they had left. He browsed her small shelf which held a few books and lego collections she had built.
He was about to comment on the sets when a photograph caught his attention. She had placed it just close to what he assumed was her latest read from when she’d bought it a week ago.
It was a polaroid of them they had taken around their fifth month together. Both of their hoods were up and tied around their faces, black sunglasses covering their eyes. They stared at the camera with equal serious expressions whilst her arms wrapped around his neck, their faces tightly pressed next to each other.
He smiled at the memory before placing it where he had found it and made his way into the kitchen.
Upon hearing his footsteps, she looked up as he entered. “It won’t be long now—“ she was cut off by his lips meeting hers, his hands tenderly cradling her face.
She immediately reciprocated the kiss and wrapped her arms around his waist to pull him closer. He kissed her softly, desperately, longingly and she returned it just as affectionately.
Just as how most of their nights would go whenever they got the chance to be together, they were soon unable to tell where one began and the other ended. He touched her eagerly, she touched him fervently.
They seemed to speak a language that was only ever known to them. Her breaths were his whispers. His gasps were her screams.
They moved as if making up for lost time, the time on the clock long forgotten.
All they knew in that moment was each other and all they had was love. Over and over again.
She had trouble opening her eyes. Her body was spent from before.
After much difficulty, she finally fluttered her eyes open to be met with the light flowing through her room.
It was only a little while later where the empty spot beside her she was so accustomed to evoked a reaction out of her. It was then she felt that the light flowing in the room had happened far too soon.
The night was over.
The sun had risen.
The end had come.
She stared at the empty spot once more, unmoving. Her mind recalled the last twelve hours spent. It wasn’t nearly enough time, she thought to herself, but it had to be. It was what had to happen. She finally sat up.
Before she could wield herself to exit from under the covers, something caught her eye. She wasn’t sure how she had missed it before.
It was that polaroid she had placed beside her book, the one she was contemplating getting rid of or not. She picked it up and stared at the two figures in front of her. They had no idea it would all be over. They had no idea the forever they’d promised would come sooner than they would’ve wanted.
Something in her told her to turn it over and there, in his script, she found his last ever message to her.
“I’m sorry. I love you. I’ll miss you. Thank you. Soobin x.” She brushed each letter with her finger, allowing the tears that formed to freely fall.
And just like that, he’d left her life again, probably for good this time.
But her heart hadn’t ached like she thought it would because at least for one more night, they had allowed each other to love with no regrets, to be how they should’ve been had they been written in the stars.
They may not have had their forever, their happily every after but they would always have the one night where there were no goodbyes.
✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵
hi! i’ve had this idea swimming in my head for so long now but never knew how to execute it. the last time i wrote anything close to imagines was in high school so attempting one again was so fun yet so challenging and i’m tentatively happy with how it turned out and i hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!
#l’simagination#choi soobin#soobin#soobin imagines#soobin x reader#??? i think#soobin angst#Spotify#soobin txt
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Guild Member Next Door (kinda) translation - Part 12
Click here for the previous part - or click here for Part 1!
Disclaimer, as always: This is based on an MTL translation, I do not know Korean myself, I am trying more to stick with the impressions/vibes of a sentence instead of a strict word-for-word meaning - and most importantly, this is only for fun.
Now, back to the story!
After drinking the night away, Yeo-woon had fallen asleep like he’d been knocked out. In the middle of his rest, he heard his own ringtone. When using a pillow to keep the noise from his ears didn’t work, Yeo-woon begrudingly got up and started his search. He followed the ever- louder ringtone, until he finally held his phone in his hand.
“Hello!”
Yeo-woon took the call with a displeased tone.
‘Whoever’s calling better be prepared to die, if this isn’t the most important phone call ever.’
“…Ah yes.”
Yeo-woon had went from unable to even open his eyes to a professional air and tone in an instant. There was no more anger to be found in his posture.
“Yeo-woon, please, I’m trying to sleep...”
Soon enough, the call was over. Yeo-woon, had only just woken up a moment ago, so he put the phone on his bed and went to the floor, where he could grab Se-hyung and shake him into full wakefulness.
“Se-hyung, wake up.”
“Huh?”
“Just get up, you gotta look at me.”
“Why?”
Se-hyung eyes remained firmly shut, but Yeo-woon still made him get on his feet, holding him steady as he said the next part.
“Slap my face.”
“Okay.”
Clap!
Se-hyung slapped Yeo-woon across the face without any hesitation, and it hurt Yeo-woon so much, he instinctually retaliated with a headbutt, knocking Se-hyung back to the ground. While he whined about an aching head and the rude awakening, Yeo-woon stood frozen, because now he knew for sure.
‘This isn’t a dream…’
“I got the job.”
Sehyung blinked up at him as the words slowly registered and then he grimaced, launching into a new line of complaints.
“But how? What about yesterday then, huh? You were all ‘they already decided on someone!’ this and ‘can I sue for the wasted time?’ that.”
“Hehe...”
At Yeo-woon’s sheepish smile, Se-hyung’s face twisted into pure disgust. Through gritted teeth, he finally forced out his next words.
“You’re so stupid... Congratulations, bastard. So, you gonna move? They say it’s always best to live close-by.”
“I’ll start looking at some places. But it’s not like I have to move right away.”
“Just look at a lot of different places and don’t let them talk you into renting some shithole.”
Yes, that was what mattered most. Yeo-woon couldn’t hold back his happy laughter anymore, so he let it all out, filling up the room. Then he froze, as his blood went cold from an important realisation.
“…I didn’t do my daily check-in yesterday.”
“What check-in?”
“Aah, it’s all your fault!”
He stumbled over to his computer to turn it on, pushing away his friend with his foot along the way, since Se-hyung had gone back to being sprawled out all over the floor. But in response to the weak kick, he curled up and began muttering to himself.
“This is painful to witness... Just some game anyway. Who cares if you don’t log in for a day?”
“It’s more than just a missed day, it’s rewards too!”
Whatever. He didn’t expect the guy who only ever played Minesweeper and Tetris to understand this anyway. Yeo-woon focused on logging in, typing his password and ID into the login screen. He still wouldn’t receive yesterday’s attendance rewards, but he was anxious to get back into the game all the same.
First the loading window appeared, with its cute little characters. Then the screen changed to show the village he’d logged out in, the last time he’d played. A red notification instantly greeted him.
‘Your mailbox is full, so you cannot access the Auction House! Please empty your inbox, to gain back your access!’
He didn’t know what could have caused this, so he double-clicked the Postman that was still right in front of him and checked his mail. What he found was 20 pages of new mails. Eight mails could fit onto one page, so that made 160 new mails he’d received, even though he hadn’t even logged in yesterday. It looked like each mail had something attached to it as well, since he couldn’t press the button to just delete all the mail.
Ji9Star [.]
Ji9Star [.]
Halloween Eggplant [New Year’s Cash]
Ji9Star [.]
Impeatuous Peatection [Your allowance^^]
Ji9Star [.]
Ji9Star [.]
Ji9Star [.]
1 2 3 4 … 19 20 ▷
Most mail came from Earth Star, but sometimes other people’s names would pop up. After opening the very first mail on the list, Yeo-woon couldn’t help but laugh out loud from how dumbfounded he felt.
[Received mail]
Sender: Ji9Star
Title: .
(empty)
Attachment: 100,000,000 Coins
‘That bastard really couldn’t just accept me giving the 1.2 billion back and making a run for it, huh...'
“Lee Yeo-woon. I’m going back to bed. Just wake up for lunch when it's three.”
“…Uh, sleep well.”
Se-hyung finally left the floor behind, to instead monopolize Yeo-woon’s bed. But the bed's owner didn’t even check what Se-hyung was doing, too busy scrolling down his computer screen. He opened each mail one by one and then went to his chatbox, trying to open the Couple tab he had there with Earth Star. But maybe it was still too early in the day, because Earth Star was shown as offline.
So Yeo-woon headed off to the village’s nearby bank instead, to first put away all his own money. This way, with the money he was now carrying on his person being 0, he’d have an easier time counting exactly how much money Earth Star had sent him. For now, he excluded any mail from other Poseidon members and only collected the attached money in Earth Star’s mails, but he still ended up with an impossible sum of money that just kept on growning and growing from where he’d originally started with 0. After working his way through just three of the twenty pages, he alteady got a notification that he’d unlocked the [Get Rich Quick] achievement.
‘Achievement Unlocked: Get Rich Quick’
There were many achievments in the game and each could be unlocked by accomplishing specific things. But even then, there was no actual effect they caused, just some nice accomplishments you could feel proud about, so there was no real reason to actively collect them. Soon enough, Yeo-woon held 10 billion coins in his inventory. The amount sent with each mail kept randomly changing too and occasionally there were event items attached alongside the money.
‘He’s crazy. What’s he doing, sending more than 10 billion coins to a random person like me? What if I’d just run away with it all?’
Yeo-woon couldn’t say he understood Earth Star anymore at all. Once he’d went through each mail Earth Star had sent, he’d amassed a sum close to 50 billion.
After he noted down the exact amounts everyone had sent, Yeo-woon started returning the money to its rightful Poseidon members. In response, the ones who were online right now sent him messages in the Friends chat.
[Friend] CroakRush: Huh?
[Friend] Captain Poseidon: Just keep it...
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: Really now! Newb is just as naughty as Earth said... ;;
[Friend] neutaaaa: T not B, it’d be Newta if anything
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: ? Damn...
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: Thought I graduated school just fine, but now I can’t even read the alphabet anymore ig.
[Friend] Captain Poseidon: Lmaooooo
“Oh, you actually just wanted to call me a newbie.”
Yeo-woon, who’d just realized that had been the actual meaning, just sat there staring. And then he frowned. After inadvertently accusing Halloween Eggplant of not knowing the alphabet, he decided to go all in and also disprove what he’d actually meant by it.
[Friend] neutaaaa: And I’m not a newb, I played another game before, but it kept getting worse.
[Friend] neutaaaa: I even was a max level chef in it, okay?
[Friend] neutaaaa: I got to be the sous chef in the biggest tavern of the Paladin server.
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: LOL Little Forest 2?
“…!”
His heart raced as he saw Halloween Eggplant correctly name the game he used to play. He had a different username now than he’d had on Little Forest, but a part of him still wondered if Halloween Eggplant had recognized him. His surprise made him impulsive and so he just asked.
[Friend] neutaaaa: Hey, did you know me on there?
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: How would I lol
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: But there’s a bunch of LilFor refugees who’ve switched to Illusion you sweet summer child lmao
[Friend] neutaaaa: Ah…
The games did share a genre, so Yeo-woon had also heard about many people that went for Illusion once they abandoned Little Forest 2. It was sad, because Little Forest 2 used to be a masterpiece among games. But these days, most of its long-term players had given up and left. Over time, especially with a switch in the company developing the game, it had become more and more bug-ridden and unoptimised and to attract new players, a lot of the old mechanics had been radically changed or even removed entirely. Many people who used to enjoy the original game had been unable to adapt to the changes and so the game was heading towards its end.
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: Why do they keep coming here anyway? They’re always saying this game is shit lmaoo.
[Friend] CroakRush: Newguy we usually just call you our newbie;;
[Friend] neutaaaa: But I’m nearly level 160 now, aren’t I?
[Friend] CroakRush: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahaha ahh!
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: ? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
[Friend] Captain Poseidon: Your level is still really low haha
[Friend] CroakRush: 160 lmaoooo
“You...”
Just looking around the village, Yeo-woon saw more than enough people that were a lower level than him. He really didn’t get why these guys insisted on laughing at his current level, when they’d been the ones to help him reach it in the first place.
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: So why does our newbie just reject our help like that?
[Friend] neutaaaa: I’ll just accept the help from now on ig. Thanks.
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: Well, if that’s the case…
‘You have new mail! Please go to your inbox to check it.’
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: My help is more on the financial side of things.
‘You have new mail! Please go to your inbox to check it.’
[Friend] Captain Poseidon: Lol same for me...
‘You have new mail! Please go to your inbox to check it.’
[Friend] CroakRush: Since our newbie’s 3rd job improvement is coming up he’ll struggle with equipment anyway. It’s Illusion so you need a lot of money to enhance weapons. I heard in LilFor your weapon doesn’t get destroyed even if the enhancement fails?
[Friend] neutaaaa: Ah yeah...
[Friend] neutaaaa: That took some getting used to.
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: FR???? Wdym it doesn’t get destroyed??
In the last game he’d played, Little Forest 2, if you failed to enhance a weapon, the chance to succeed the next time went up by 0.5% and the main weapon you’d tried to enhance didn’t get destroyed either. As a result, Yeo-woon had never expected a weapon to break in that way, until he’d switched to Illusion and experienced this painful situation firsthand.
CroakRush walked up to his character and sat down right in front of him.
[Friend] CroakRush: I spent a whole month trying to get my cane to survive until +3 and then getting a good spirit stone for it.
[Friend] CroakRush: Wanna see? I made the stats public just now
[Friend] neutaaaa: Huh
The weapon CroakRush had equipped changed its color, from its edges towards its middle. Sometimes Yeo-woon had spotted other players with weapons like that and he always tried to check their equipment details, but people could hide those, if they wanted, and many players did just that.
[Friend] CroakRush: Love that cane haha.
[Friend] CroakRush: Its total stat boosts are 250+!
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: I broke so many weapons to get my enchanted golden hammer too.
That staff had an impressive Lv. 10 boost for attack power, Lv. 9 boost for all stats, and Lv. 8 boost for attack speed. It even had two more boosts, though they were less impressive, but still provided a small boost to defense and damage reduction. With all of that combined, anyone would scramble to buy that staff, if it ever appeared in the Auction House.
[Friend] CroakRush: But I still haven’t enhanced my armor haha… After the 3rd job upgrade you’ll really notice the stat changes depending on what you equip but enhancing it is hard.
[Friend] CroakRush: Even with all the LilFor refugees we keep getting they don’t stay too long haha. Weren’t there also some you switched over with and who’ve quit since then because of how expensive things get?
[Friend] neutaaaa: No clue, I always played solo...
[Friend] CroakRush: Anyways, this is so you’ll keep playing. It’s normal to give newbies nice things like this to keep them! Lmao all of this is reminding me of when we raised our cat too.
[Friend] Captain Poseidon: ?? Cat raised himself.
[Friend] CroakRush: Sometimes I buffed him tho so it’s p much the same ^^
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: Why help someone who’s trying to become a Valkyrie?
Since they were discussing a player called Cat, they probably meant KittycatMeowMeowMeow. Yeo-woon remembered he was a Wolfist, which was part of the Explorer class and their 4th and final job was the Valkyrie. Valkyries were ranked the number one job to avoid playing at all costs, in a ‘Top 5 Jobs to Avoid’ guide Yeo-woon had found when he first started playing Illusion. They apparently had difficult controls, weren’t good solo-units and their overall performance was pretty low. Even though the job had been added to the game not that long ago, it was already infamous for getting zero love from the developers.
[Friend] neutaaaa: I heard Valkyries don’t really do much...
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: Wellㅡㅡ; Maybe he’s just young and still full of hopes and dreams!
[Friend] Captain Poseidon: Btw I heard that no one could send you mail yesterday bc your inbox was full... Would Earth Star happen to be the culprit behind that?
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: Oh, true true haha. How much did Earth send anyway?
“….”
Everyone else had sent some amount between 50 million and 100 million coins. It’d be normal to assume everyone had stayed in that ballpark, Earth Star included. So Yeo-woon hesitated a little, but then he typed in the numbers and send them off with the Enter key.
[Friend] neutaaaa: 50...
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: 50 million? LOL What a cheapskate
[Friend] neutaaaa: Wrong...
[Friend] CroakRush: What so did he only send 50 coins?
[Friend] neutaaaa: 50 billion
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: 50 billion??
[Friend] CroakRush: Did you type a 0 too many????
[Friend] Captain Poseidon: ??
Like he’d expected, everyone was dumbstruck by an amount so high that they felt it had to be a typo. His chatbox became really active, with everyone calling Earth Star crazy for what he’d done. They were right. 50 billion was enough to buy a full set of equipments that already had good stats and enhancements, no extra work necessary.
[Friend] Halloween Eggplant: Ah, Earth Star’s still asleep ig.
[Friend] CroakRush: Woah but the guy did always change the topic when I asked how much he’s got.
[Friend] CroakRush: Never would’ve thought he’s that filthy rich;;
Because the person in question was still offline, they couldn’t ask him why he’d done something this outrageous. Which just made it worse.
Yeo-woon took the chance to send a mail back to Earth Star with the 50 billion coins attached to it and then he immediately logged into his alt account that he normally just used for additional storage space. But this time he used it to send a flood of mails to his actual character, neutaaaa, until his inbox was filled to bursting again. Now, even once he’d log in, Earth Star wouldn’t be able to send him anything per mail and so he’d be forced to keep his 50 billion himself.
(Next Part)
#the guild member next door#tgmnd#gmnd#guild member next door#the guildmember next door#unofficial translation#translation#unofficial localisation#localisation
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(Long ass ask whoops)
I'm thinking about MY as LQR's son. I'm not sure how it happened (Maybe Lao Nie or WRH dragged him to a brothel before things went downhill, maybe LQR didn't always have a stick up his ass, he's a Lan but he's still a second son) anyway, so on.
I think it would be interesting to watch as things develop because LQR probably wouldn't want others to know he's visited a brothel at some point (even though lying is forbidden but LQR breaks a bunch of rules in the novel anyway), so he wouldn't name MY Lan even if he treats him as part of the main family (like the WWX and JFM situation)
You know xiyao first meet? It's pretty damn obvious LXC fell for him at first sight and the thing is he would here too. Because he doesn't know they're related! I think it's funny that MY has to constantly dodge his (very subtle admittedly) attemps at flirting because they're cousins and he can't say anything because LQR doesn't want him to.
And this would give MY an entirely different breed of daddy issues! LQR is fundamentally good but he's not exactly loving, and MY has to go above and beyond to get the tiniest bit of praise from him. Kinda like having an openly POS parent (aka JGS) and being at peace with that/ not having lots of expectations vs living with someone who you know loves you but is at the same time very strict and has very high expectations so you want their approval because you know you can get it if you just try hard enough.
And then SMS comes in! He has his reservations regarding MY at first (because we know cql SMS was loyal to LXC before it all went to hell), (LXC just cant appreciate undying obsessive devotion smh) and maybe sees him as a threath, but then MY is genuinely nice to him and remembers him, acknowledges him in a way neither the twin jades nor LQR ever did, and even praises him for his hard work, so SMS is absolutely hooked
And they fall in love! MY is kinda afraid to ask LQR for his blessing but by the time he does the wangxian stuff already happened (and maybe nielan shenanigans, I firmly believe LQR would disaprove of NMJ bc of the violence of the Nie cultivation and the utilisation of resentful energy that comes with it) and he's just relieved his son isn't in love with a war criminal or a violent brute (as he percieves NMJ)
And then MY becomes Lan Yao (and gets a courtesy name, thinking shuài 帅 as in handsome/graceful/smart and ráo 饶 because it has connotations of abundance and forgiveness/mercy, two things the Lan sect values, so Lán Shuàiráo 蓝帅饶)
LXC utterly horrified at having fallen for his cousin lmao
And then there's the part of canon where we know SMS walked out of the Lan sect by his own foot! And I think we can assume it was out of shame, so like, JGY defending him! The Lans scorning him for attemping to sacrifice Mianmian, but JGY, who feels secure within the Lan sect, and who values his life above nearly anything, would go "No, no, you were afraid and under threath of death, I'd do that too" and convinces SMS to stay, while shutting down everything throw SMS's way
Cue SMS thriving and happy as (maybe) Lan-furen serving JGY in every way like the loyal dog he is (as in canon)
Yeah.
AAAHHHHHH I LOVE THIS!!
I've seen a couple fics/scenarios in which MY was born into or made part of the Nie and the Jiang, but idk if I've come across him being part of the Lan. I vibe with the idea of him being the child of LQR (and a product of one of the man's wildest and probably most regretable decisions lol).
It's interesting that it would lead him to have a whole new brand of daddy issues, a milder kind too since he's not at risk of getting thrown out at the smallest mistake and that at least he knows that his father's praise IS obtainable, if not easily. In any case, he would keep his nuanced mentality at still not being fully honored as a true son of the Lan and all, but not his extreme survivor mentality that often led him to tolerate abuse.
Lol it's ironic tho how he just can't escape the incest XD
But I love him and SMS getting together!! In a place like the Lan sect, they truly would be different in their approach to the whole righteous rules thing, and they would find companionship and kinship in each other, eventually turning into love. Especially in how JGY would be the only reason why SMS would stay there.
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4, 28, and 61 for the Tav ask game? I'm especially interested in her reaction to Auntie Ethel considering her background with hags
[ weeps into the void - thank you for these ones, I loved fleshing these thoughts out; overly verbose answers below the cut 💜 ]
4. Is there a reason why your Tav starts out at level 1?
Straight up fear, my dude; Mavis is so scared that [REDACTED] is potentially in danger after seeing them in her scrying mirror with a mindflayer, and then the additional stress of the Nautiloid experience with seeing that made her live with one of her worst fears - becoming useless and forgetting everything she worked to avoid.
She is nervous and skittish on the Nautiloid - she's trying not to have a panic attack until she runs into Lae'zel, whose straightforward attitude in the face of danger eases her fears some; but like an artist putting too much pressure on themselves experiencing skill regression, she has to ease back into everything and spends a lot of time rereading old journals to calm her mind and reassure herself that she is still competent and just needs to keep going.
28. What does your Tav think of Auntie Ethel? What do they tell Mayrina?
Immediate gut feeling that something is off, but tries to keep it to herself in hopes that she is overthinking things due to stress and plays nice initially to be cautious given what she has experienced - especially after speaking with Pandirna and removing the curse on her.
Attempting to save face with Ethel when meeting Mayrina's brothers, Mavis takes her side in the argument and knocks the brothers out - she knows the distraught drive to save a loved one too well. But when the illusion finally falls and she meets Ethel again, Mavis is... defensive, to say the least, and overly protective of Mayrina despite her pleas. But she also knows that she can't outsmart Ethel and is extremely hesitant to go after her when she takes Mayrina, only proceeding after she thinks about her brothers trying to do it themselves once they recover.
Mavis wants to kill Ethel, almost desperately; she wants to take out all of her frustration and grief on her, but knows that it's never that easy to get rid of someone like her, and she doesn't want the fear of a vengeful hag looming over her - not right now.
She begrudgingly spares the hag for the sake of Mayrina, and firmly tells Mayrina to be careful before giving her the wand for Connor; when encountered again in the city, Mavis knocks Ethel out and cuts Vanra from her stomach to save her - despite the Hag's Bane remaining in her bag, unused - before finally finishing Ethel for good.
She is tired, cranky, and wants a nap real bad, but also feels a weight lifted off her - she sleeps like the dead that night.
61. How does your Tav feel about Baldur's Gate? Is it their home? Is it their first time in the city?
Mavis did not grow up in Baldur's Gate, but had heard plenty from listening to her mother talk about it in stories and song while living in Silverymoon in her youth. Mavis had been making her way towards Baldur's Gate (albeit not very efficiently, since she continuously went off course to follow any wild leads and rumors of forgotten or weird magic incidents or to find a new book) because she believed that surely, eventually, [REDACTED] would end up Halfway to Everywhere, just like they said in their childhood.
Mavis does bump into [REDACTED] at the Circus of the Last Days shortly after they had just completed the Test of Love with Zethino, both them and their companion adorned with face paint; Mavis and [REDACTED] are both too invested in their conversations with their companions to see each other before they colide together, causing Mavis to lose her footing and tumble down - when [REDACTED] offers a hand down to help her up, they apologize saying "I hope I didn't break anything of yours" and Mavis is quick to shake it off and take their hand without thought.
[REDACTED] makes a comment about really liking her keyhole ring and jokes that "it better not be cursed - I hate curses" as they pull her up - when Mavis hears that and finally sees that it's [REDACTED] as she meets their eye, she nervously mumbles that "sometimes curses aren't so bad" and apologizes for not paying attention before letting them carry on their way. Gale makes a comment that they sure seem colorful and fun, but he would never be caught dead in face paint like that; Mavis laughs, looks back to them and says "yeah, they seem happy" before taking Gale's hand and continuing with "and that sounds like a challenge to me" as they walk on to do their own Test of Love.
Once she makes it into the city, she is... Homesick, perhaps is the best way to put it. She enjoys parts of the city, and parts of the people, but seeing it in the state it was in with what she had learned on her journey overall tarnished it a bit; Mavis does appreciate their resilience nevertheless, and later seeing [REDACTED] and their companion laughing over drinks at a tavern after the city is safe again makes her appreciate the city in a different way - it's not perfect and it's not what she imagined as a kid, but it certainly does bring people together in remarkable and unexpected ways and truly is Halfway to Everywhere.
Mavis does not talk to [REDACTED] in the tavern, but does finally tell Gale who they are as she shares some Silverymoon Blue that she had been keeping safe for a special occasion with him while they celebrate; Gale laughs and says that Mavis may have a type, and she feigns taking offense as she tells him that "all the best breakthroughs start with a rough blueprint" before kissing him and leaving the tavern together, leaving her scrying mirror necklace on the table at the tavern.
BONUS: enjoy a lil personal favorite track to enjoy with question 61's answer 💜
#ask game#baldur's gate oc#baldur's gate tav#bg3 oc#bg3 tav#mavis lytte#maeve lysse#wisdom check#ask
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“I’m not letting him back in,” Tavish said, keeping his back firmly to the Bombinomicon as he tidied the library. “If he tries, he’s going to be running right out with a fireball not too far behind him.”
Eh, I liked the guy, what’s the harm in letting him swing by every now and again?
“Aside from the fact Merasmus would have a heart attack if he found out?”
You sure this has to with the wizard and not the fact you’ve got yourself a little crush?
Tavish rammed a scroll of everlasting halitosis back into its nook with more force than necessary. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You kidding buddy? I’m an expert in matters of love. Got a babe in every port.
“Sure, ‘Nomicon.”
It’s true! That’s why I made us stop in Dublin. Kelly really wanted to…meet between the sheets if you know what I mean. Zow! Pow!
“Kelly?” Tavish turned around.
Yeah. I mean I like a good cookbook as much as the next sentient evil tome, but you gotta admit Kelly’s got style. Can’t get much more flashy than Kelly.
For a moment, Tavish was agog as his mind tried to processes that amount of stupidity. “Are you….are you talking about the Book of Kells?”
Did you hear what I said about between the sheets? Gettit? Like sheets of paper-
“Shut it,” Tavish snapped. “It doesn’t matter whatever kind of love life you’ve got, because I don’t need one. It’s a complication. Get’s in the way of my work.”
Hey buddy, don’t forget you’re mortal. Can’t waste your whole life working when you only got, what? Two, maybe three hundred years to live?
“Eighty,” Tavish corrected. “If I’m lucky.”
Eighty?? What? That can’t be right.
“That’s how long humans live, ‘Nomicon. The mortality part of being mortal.”
That’s- you’re- well you’ve got one foot in the grave already!
“I’m aware,” he said, stacking all three editions of Worser Homes and Gardens on top of one another and sliding them onto an end table.
But…jeez man. You’re….I guess you’re not no little kid no more are you? You’re…Man. Still remember when we picked you up, all nervous and didn’t know your spell from your cantrip. I really can’t believe….
“’Nomicon, are you….crying?”
Indeed, large, toxic looking tears were pooling in the book’s beady eyes. It sniffled in the negative, but since it has no arm to discreetly wipe them away with, the deception was negligible.
“Ach, c’mere you daft encyclopedia.”
Tavish took the book into his arms, sitting in the corner of the library like he had so many times as a wee lad, the book practically swallowing a boy of seven with its sheer size. Now, he was the one comforting the Bombinomicon as it sputtered, trying to sooth its worries, and all the while trying to figure out how he was supposed to keep Jane and Merasmus from ever running into one another again.
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youtube
"A Psychic Wound" by Los Campesinos!
DV:
Watching Los Campesinos! on their recent US tour, I got hung up on the unique path they've taken through my affections: I loved "International TweeXcore Underground" (which apparently has a video that is a real fucking time capsule) in 2007, but I care a lot more about them as a band now then I did back then - it's like they burrowed their way into my head over the past 17 years without me ever quite noticing. And to be clear about bands I loved in 2007: I saw of Montreal recently; I'll be thrilled if Spiritualized play Chicago again. But seeing them is like catching up with an old friend who I don't have all that much in common with any more. Meanwhile there are Los Campesinos lyrics about my life, about my friends, about my partner! I'm not sure how that happened but it did.
And so Los Camp sound and feel more vital to me now than they did back when I first heard them, and I don't think there's any other artist I can say that about. (Admittedly there's very few artists who have been active since the mid-2000s that you can't describe as "nostalgia acts" at this point - if they're even trying to make new music at all.) So that's what makes LC significant: I've long since lost track of artists whose every word I hung on in 2007, but something like "A Psychic Wound" feels real even now that I can't grow long indie bangs if I wanted to. And maybe the production is a little too sleek, but a lyric like "It’s a cosmic check you never cashed/ Curse the universe for what you lack" is the kind of casually-dropped gem that few bands can manage once in their early days, let alone this far into their run. "A Psychic Wound" makes me wonder if Los Camp maybe will keep going forever, and if maybe they'll be the only band in history where that isn't a mistake. Most importantly, the song sounds like a singalong even before it's over.
MG:
DV and I have seen Los Campesinos! a handful of times over their career and most of those times I had one foot out the door only to be completely charmed by the group's all-in ecstasy. Until this last show I'd say Los Campesinos! were a band best experienced live -- mostly because aside from one brief period during lockdown, I don't listen to their records and this is what creates the little cycle of bliss to indifference in which I swirl. In fact, they are a nostalgia act to me, in that I want every concert to reproduce the same sense of fun and belonging the last concert did. I don't want to like my own sense of nostalgia but I also firmly believe we have no free will in this universe, so alas, here I was, very excited for this most recent concert and totally unaware that Los Campesinos! had gone through some sort of internet-led glow up. Things were going pretty much fine until, in the middle of the show, they acknowledged their newfound popularity and conducted a "marketing survey" where they tested whether or not you became a fan during the nascent days of social media or during its ongoing imperial phase. That's when they completely lost me. What a weirdly pro-Capitalist stance to be one of the few bands capable of maintaining your recording and touring artist career for almost two decades but to only feel successful once you can properly advertise. "A Psychic Wound" does everything a Los Campesinos! song should. It's full of witty lyrics and a chaos of instruments all delivered with a righteous enthusiasm. But now it just gets on my nerves.
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Away too long-💙
Notes: I was feeling a little angsty today haha
(ALL OF MY STORIES ARE 18+ MAY OR MAY NOT CONTAIN SEXUAL CONTENT, LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE, GORE, DARK THEMES)
Please read responsibly 🫶🏼
Shakily you paced back and forth through your apartment. Hands shaking and sweating. If he were to come by he would have done it by now.
It’s only been a few months since you started dating the blue banded turtle and it’s been nothing short of an adventure.
What once started as something light and friendly, turned into a deep obsession. Things were still very new and fresh. The last thing you wanted was to screw anything up this early, likewise, you kept a lot of your pent up emotion to yourself.
While facing the basic difficulties of keeping his existence a secret from your friends and family, you also had to survive with the idea that when he leaves on a mission, he might never come back.
And it was nights like tonight that had you going fucking crazy.
“Should I call him again.” You whispered to yourself looking at your call history. You’ve called him 15 times in the last 2 days. Maybe it was a little obsessive, but what else could you do?
Loneliness engulfed your soul. You had no one to talk to, no one to call if anything went wrong. He kept resources from you purposely to keep you from running to help him and putting yourself further in danger.
It wasn’t a call you liked, but you understood why he did it. Because if you knew where he was, recklessly, you would have been there by now.
But to you it was all worth it.
You decided a hot shower would take the edge of. It’s been three days since Leo left on a mission and he hadn’t returned back or answered any of your calls.
Against your will, he didn’t tell you his location or what exactly the mission was. All for the sake of your protection. The less you knew the better.
As you got out of the hot steamy shower you felt your eyes swell up again. You were crying off and on worried sick. You fought every instinct to cry again but you couldn’t help it.
Thinking the absolute worst creeped into your mind again and tears poured out once more. You savored every last memory you had of him, putting yourself back into panic mode.
Slowly putting on your robe, you fought the urge to call him again, but you didn’t succeed.
Voicemail again…
Your eyes shut tight in frustration.
“Leo… it’s Y/N. Please… I need to know that you’re okay.” In defeat you pressed the red icon on your phone ending the voicemail. You couldn’t help your shakes and tremors thinking the absolute worst.
You almost jumped out of your skin when you heard your floor creek…
You lived alone…
As your heart thumped hard against your chest you felt your entire body freeze.
Leo armed you with quite a few weapons hoping you’d never have to use them, but with you being affiliated with the turtles, he never wanted to risk it with you.
You swiftly and as quietly as you could grabbed the mini katana hidden under your bed and creeped around to the living room where you heard the noise. Hair still dripping wet.
Your throat became dry as you slowly creeped along the hallway.
You heard another footstep.
You for sure knew now that there was someone in your home.
And you were 100% sure as to who it was.
You listened carefully to hear how many foot clan members were in your home trying to remember the very little fighting skills Leo taught you.
As the figure got closer you hid behind the wall ready to attack whoever it was in the very hopes of making it out alive.
You waited for your moment. You only had one chance.
You waited until they got close enough, you could swing at them and then hopefully make a run for the door.
The steps got closer and closer
And your breathing got heavier and heavier.
Now was your chance.
You closed your eyes and counted to 3 in your head.
As you swung your wrist was caught firmly
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
You opened your eyes expecting to see a killer, but instead was shocked to see worrisome eyes.
Eyes bluer than blue. The only eyes you knew.
It was Leo.
“Y/N it’s me.” He lowered your hand. You gulped hard first grasping the idea that he wasn’t dead. The. Slowly you became angry.
“Leo?” You shuddered not knowing how to respond.
“I’m back…” he tried to sound cheerful for you, but you didn’t buy into it.
“You couldn’t at least give me a damn call?!” You couldn’t help but yell. You were so… fucking… furious with hun.
His mouth dropped.
“I- I’m sorry I got caught up.” Eyes looking guilty as ever.
“Damn it Leo! I thought you were dead!” You couldn’t help the tears now streaming down your face.
His hand found your face. Wiping your tears as you broke down.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered simply.
Your eyes trailed to his arms that were covered in blood.
“Don’t worry.” He reassured. “It’s not my blood. I’m fine.” His voice was so low and soothing. “I came here first thing to let you know i was okay.”
As you got a closer look at him, you felt guilty for yelling. He was beaten up bad.
“I’m sorry Leo I just get… so fucking worried.” You cried more.
He pulled you in for a kiss.
A deep… long kiss, attempting to kiss all your worries away.
“I’m not going anywhere I promise.”
Thank you so much for reading!! If you enjoyed like and comment for more content! (Master list coming soon)
~HamatoSami
#rise of the tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles bayverse#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2018#tmnt 2k12#tmnt donnie#tmnt leo 2003#tmnt mikey#memes#puns
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Chapter I
“Liam, stop bothering him.” the sheep hybrid said firmly, not trying to sound angry.
It had been a few days since George's settlement in the underground base, but it seemed he had been adjusting somewhat to it. To the others as well. And from what Caroline had noticed, he had taken a good interest in the two children, Erica and Liam, Clay's niece and nephew. He seemed to be more on the positive side, sometimes even letting Liam crawl over his back, which was adorable, but it wouldn't be something that would make George feel better.
She knew that a victim like him wouldn't even consider a touch, but seeing that he didn't seem too bothered or terrified, she didn't scold the small feathery hybrid that much for it.
With his tiny paws, Liam pushed himself up and crawled onto George's back, messing up his fur as he continued to move. He carefully turned to the side, his paws slipping a bit as he tried to keep them on the stag hybrid's spine. He then took strands of the darker fur which resembled moss and tugged on it. All the while, George just let it happen, chest slowly rising and falling as he rested on the couch while Cara was reading on the carpeted floor.
It was hard the first two days, he barely ate or drank, but after he realized that Cara wasn't there to hurt or poison him, it went more smoothly. He still didn't eat much, though. Caroline knew she had to be patient with him, and let him fully adjust to those that are willing to help.
Cara shifted her front legs, making sure to not scratch her belly with her hooves, and glanced over at the resting hybrid. She watched as he let out a large exhale and bury his muzzle into his front leg, completely unbothered by the small hybrid who was just a year old. His features were soft, eyes closed, rhythmic breathing undisturbed.
“How is he?” a soft whisper sounded from behind her, a voice she recognized.
“He's doing alright,” she replied. “Just resting now.”
The giant creepling centaur hybrid nodded and carefully laid down beside her as his size shrunk closer to her height. Normally, Sam would be more comfortable in his actual nine-foot-tall self, but he didn’t want to intimidate the sheep hybrid, especially when she was going through that part of life.
“He has gotten better, hasn't he?”
Cara nodded, “Not fully, but a little bit.”
“Still a good process” Sam glanced down at the book for a minute before he remembered the question he wanted to ask once he came back from his job. He was surprised he even remembered it, knowing how hard it was to be a captain of the guard, but if it made the money and kept the others safe, it was worth it being there. Especially when he had most of the control over the guards.
“Say,” he began. “How do you feel about it?”
Caroline looked up from her book, a little confused. When he gave a quick glance at her stomach and back to her eyes, she blinked in recognition. “Oh, well…” She paused for a while, thinking over her words. She looked down at her swollen belly, a light smile curling up on her lips. “It's, honestly nice. I was, always the motherly one, so I only have experience from babysitting during my teen years, but now,” she blinked. “It feels almost unreal to me. I think it was also unreal to her.”
Yep, it sure was. “He burst into the living room, ya know?”
“He did?”
“Yeah, Ponk literally ran in yelling they're gonna be a dad. Poor fella started crying even.” Sam chuckled. It was a sweet memory, even though Sam nearly jumped out of his skin when Diallo burst in and yelled.
Cara giggled. “I know, they almost started crying when I told her.”
Letting out a yawn, Sam simply put his paws underneath him and folded his four arms to get more comfortable. It was a rather long night, having to stay guard once more ever since another incident happened, which, somehow, George didn't know about. But then again, he was asleep when it happened, in the more soundproof room. The incident didn't last too long because Luke caught it before anything happened.
But now, it was better. He just hoped that nothing would happen while a small part of the group was in the village.
---
The village was quite busy this autumn. Shops, trainings, trades, smithing, you name it. Many hybrids came to visit the place, as it was very welcoming to them, even offering up a shelter for a few nights.
Clay's ear twitched as the sound of swords clashing together sounded not too far from when they were. Today, they decided to visit in their hybrid form. It wasn't much; it made them more recognizable from the crowds of villagers, people, and hybrids. Now that they thought about the swords clashing and that some of the grunts and yells sounded familiar. Wouldn't hurt to check it out.
They did get there after a few of the members of their group got sent to get some trades and some extra money from selling some of the handmade weapons and herbs from the greenhouse. So maybe someone decided to do that, but by placing bets on who will win the fight.
Pushing through the crowd, Clay found a vast circle around the training base, blocking the view of what was happening. With a little annoyed sigh, the earth-dragon with a dark shade of blue over their back decided to break the rules a bit, like the others, go around the training ground, and climb on top of the wooden planks that were built to stack on top of each other, creating seats for the rule breakers. It didn't take much, and soon enough, Clay had a complete view of what was happening.
Clay should have expected him to be the center of attention amongst the orcs, piglins, and other warriors that enjoyed a good fight or two. It earned him an amused huff from Clay.
“How can ya see through the dang thing, slime?” The young dark-haired orc asked, tightly gripping the sword in his hands. He did look to be half-orc, half-human, as he was around Luke's height.
The blond chuckled, chest shaking. “I just do. Just because I'm half blind doesn't mean I can't fully see.” That sounded a bit ironic with the cloth over his eyes. But then again, he didn't earn the nickname The Blind Warrior for nothing. “Now,” Luke readied his sword, “show me what else you got!”
Clay let their upper half lie down with their front legs folded as they continued watching the small training.
After a while of swords slashing and parrying, Clay heard a familiar voice from behind them. Which made them slightly raise their shoulders in a tiny bit of fear.
“Hey there, beast!” Darryl said energetically, plopping down next to them with crossed legs.
“Do you need to call me that?” Clay said, almost monotone.
The incubus let out a muffled giggle, waving his tail side to side. Darryl put their knuckles to his lips, as in thought, before speaking. “How's your day going?”
“Could be better, just hanging out here, really.”
“I never noticed how buff Luke is,”
“He is taken, you know?” Clay turned their head to look at him, looking rather done as if knowing where this was going.
“I'm just saying,” Darryl defended themselves, “isn't it normal to just compliment someone?”
“For an incubus, it can be pretty suspicious.” They flicked their tail.
The ebony-black-skinned incubus let out a tsk. “You think that I will eat him?”
Clay blinked, a little amused. Letting out a little huff, they said, “Oh, you will eat something from him if you keep staring like that, alright?” They felt a little sick after saying that.
Darryl stayed quiet. It wasn't hard to know why. But it didn't stop them from changing the topic.
“How's his brother doing? Any better?”
It happened two years ago, of course Grayson would most likely heal from the manifested guilt after two years. “Yes, he still has nightmares about it, but he doesn't let it get to him that much anymore.” It wasn't a lie, Grayson had improved quite a lot, but the scars could still reopen if the right trigger is found. And the trigger seemed to be seeing his brother's face without the blindfold.
Darryl smiled. “That's good, glad he's doing better.”
Clay's tail twitched. It, wasn't the first time it happened. It wasn't a normal twitch, it felt like more was coming. They gulped, unsure what to do when they were in such a large crowd of people. It was something that they wanted to keep a secret, and it wasn't something that would be normal.
“Darryl?..” they asked, softly.
The incubus turned his head to look at their friend a little puzzled but clearly worried.
“Can you teleport me into the forest? It's important.” “Can't you do it on your own-”
“My powers are weak due to using this form a lot, and I doubt that they will work,” It was true that they were a powerful hybrid, but even those had their weaknesses and limits. And they knew what would happen if they pushed themselves once again.
The incubus paused. “Alright, anywhere specific?”
Clay shook their head, “no, just anywhere out of the village. But maybe just outside the village.”
Darryl nodded in understanding, although he seemed a little suspicious about what Clay was on about. “Alrighty, see you then, will tell the others that you left.”
“Thank you,”
With a small shimmer, Clay quickly found themselves near the guard towers from where they took off into the dense forest. It was hard to go at full speed with their long tail that had long and thick beige fur at the tip, reminding others of a fox's brush. But Clay got enough speed to get away from there in time before the twitching got worse. And worse it got.
---
“Have you guys come back without Clay?”
Grayson looked at Sam, confused. “I thought that they went back here?” “Yeah, that's what Darryl said!” Charlie chimed in.
Sam felt his heart drop. This could only mean one single thing. “Grayson, you and Ponk go northwest from here, and you Slime, you will take Brendan and go southwest.” Sam then sighed, “I will go with Jack to the west.”
Everyone nodded in unison, put their bags on the couch, and ran toward their assigned destinations — Slime to Brendan's room, and Grayson to Ponks office. Before the large creeper hybrid could do anything, he noticed that the loud and quick footsteps woke up the mushroom rabbit stag. He could hear the low whimpers from the younger hybrid as he shifted on the couch, antlers poking from the top of the backrest.
George hummed before whispering in a low voice; “What… What's happening?..” His words were dragged out, almost as if his brain was still processing words. Just seeing him like this, so vulnerable, sigh, it was just sad to see. Sam knew what had happened and felt terrible for the frail hybrid.
“Hey, slept well?” Sam asked quietly, folding his arms on top of the couch, trying to keep his voice down so as to not scare him.
George drew in a large shaky breath through his nose, his chest rising high before lowering and returning back to stable breathing. His body was lightly trembling, possibly recognizing Sam's voice. He shifted some more on the couch and pressed his chin into the leather.
“It's alright, keep asleep,” he said, resisting the urge to pet George's hair. “Cara will stay with you along with Niki and the kids, alright?” He watched as George weakly nodded, his white freckled cheeks tensing up and he squeezed his eyes shut. This time he drew in a shaky breath.
“Where… Where is…”
“They're still outside, will come back soon…”
---
It was far into October, nearing the middle of the month, which made everyone on edge, knowing it was just a few days away. Slime might have been not the brightest, but he was aware of what this could mean for everyone, especially every predator. He wasn't dumb like that. Yes, he did act like an idiot, but that did not mean he had low intelligence.
Searching through the bushes, he knew they were getting close to the Cursed Cave, which could be dangerous taking in the fact that the cave has very much a bad reputation for being, as the name says, cursed. Nobody knows where the curse came from, but whoever walked in there, either never came back, or came back deranged and clearly not sound of mind, living the rest of their lives in a mental hospital. He was aware of that, he saw it once, a dare. A dare that paid the price.
“Anything yet?” Brendan sounded from behind him, having to yell just to be heard. For his hybrid size, an inchling, he really was confident in what he did. A blue moth that could fit in any nook and cranny and change his size along with it.
“No, nothing yet,”
An audible sigh came close as the inchling flew onto his shoulder. “This is getting real bad,” Brendan groaned. “Grayson also said that they haven't found anything and are already scouting the whole area. Sam also hasn't found anything.”
Charlie nodded, feeling a shiver down his spine. This was indeed getting really bad. “Do you think that they actually…”
“Went into the cave?.. I mean, the possibility is there.”
“But you know the curse that lingers there, it is risky.”
Brendan shrugged, “Do we have any other option at this point?”
Slime bit his lip. “I guess not.”
“Welp, shall we go there? It's close from here.”
With a sigh, Charlie moved forward, unsure where exactly, but the fact that Brendan didn’t protest made Slime think that he was going the right way. Again, wasn’t completely sure, but there was no time to lose.
They eventually got there, he could tell by the jagged rocks coming into view from below the crowns of the trees. It was as terrifying as it was when he saw what the cave had done to one of the teens. He gulped.
“Nervous?” The inchling asked. Slime just nodded, “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
And it wasn’t, it really wasn’t. Slime was scared, visibly shaken almost. He wanted to forget that cave. He wanted to forget that crazed expression the teen was wearing after running out of the cave. He wanted to forget the screaming. It genuinely felt horrifying to be near it again. Heck, some have said that it goes much deeper than it looks, maybe miles and miles into the ground, going deep into the earth’s belly. Who knew where the cave actually went? Where it actually lead to. Some say it is the portal to Hell, so…
Please be okay…
Gulping once more, Slime parted a few thick layered leaves from his view and nearly gasped when he saw the mouth of the entrance staring back. Just seeing it again made him shiver.
“We don’t have much of a choice here, Slime,” Brendan nearly growled, not at Charlie, more at himself. He didn’t even realize that Brendan had changed his size, although he was still a bit short than Slime, just by a few inches. “We are either going in there, or going back empty-handed.”
“Would it be bad for me to say that I prefer the second option?” the brunet asked, staring blankly into the abyss.
The not much of an inchling sighed before turning his head at the slime hybrid, head tilted to the side. “I wish I could say the same if it wasn’t for the risks and consequences we would face.”
Without protesting, Slime followed Brendan into The Cursed Cave, feeling the temperature drop along with the air growing thin, making it hard to breathe.
The two, with Brendan acting as a sort of glowing stick due to his glow-in-the-dark markings, walked deeper and deeper into the cave's stomach, with Slime growing more and more anxious as they kept walking.
The stone walls were decorated with gems of all colors, making it look just like another gem mine, but each gem shimmered in a strange way that Charlie couldn’t put his finger on. The gems just looked, wrong.
“Feeling alright back there, Slime?” Brendan said in a lightly hushed tone as if he didn’t wanna scare him off. When the slimy brunet hummed his response, the inchling turned his head to smile at him. “We will find them, don't worry.”
“I know, just too scared to find the worst…” Slime admitted.
Brendan was about to say something when he stopped in his tracks. His antennas twitching as if to find something. Some noise.
It sounded like…
Crying.
“Boss? Is that you?” Brendan yelled, his voice echoing. “Hey!”
A loud gasp sounded from the unknown source. The two knew that it came from deeper within the cave.
They ran towards the heavy breathing, which was under-layered by their footsteps, but still loud enough to recognize that they were growing closer.
Suddenly, it stopped.
“Boss?” Brendan nearly whimpered after they stopped running.
There they were. Body parts twitching, tears streaming down their lime green and white fur. Looking at them with terrified eyes. Their stripes and spots glowing in a neon cyan, illuminating their surroundings like Brendan’s did.
Had they actually gone mad? thought Charlie as sweat dripped down his temples.
“Oh… Hey…” Clay said, voice lightly shaking before wiping their tears. That meant they were still sane, still the same hybrid Charlie and Brendan knew.
Brendan asked; “Did something happen?”
“Just…” Clay sighed. “Just a vision,”
That could have meant anything.
“About what?” Charlie asked, stepping forward.
Clay paused, looking down blankly as if thinking over their answer. “It was Zak, surrounded by red vines and lichen.”
---
George woke up, slowly opening his eyes. He could hear the slightly muffled voices of others talking about something he couldn’t understand. He caught the last bit of conversation before they realized he had woken up. Something about red.
George let out a loud exhale before slowly getting up by his upper body. He felt weak and scared. Where was he again? Oh, with, them. The adrenaline started to pump through his veins again, remembering all the members he met, the ones he feared the most. His breathing became heavy, legs lightly twitching.
A voice he recognized quickly made him pause. “Hey, did we wake you up dear?” It was the ginger-and-purple-haired woman, Minx, was it? “You slept for a while, must have been relaxing ey?” She rested her forearms on the backrest of the couch, looking down at him with an unreadable expression. Although he could make out the small amount of sympathy in her eyes. “But guess what, we found something you might like. Boss mentioned it because you two talked about it once.”
George lifted himself up into a more sitting position to look over the couch, watching as the taller female hybrid walked over to a basket, which she picked up and brought over to George, going around the couch to reach the brunet. “Here, I think it will help you out.”
After looking over the basket that had something covering it, he hesitantly took it, looked it over again, and peeled the cloth away to expose whatever was inside.
The little creature mewed, awakened from its sleep. It shook its head and looked up at him with round hazel eyes. A silver tabby kitten.
“We thought that maybe, it could help.” Her tone was still monotone but had that light hint of compassion toward him.
George wasn't too sure what to think. Was this maybe a trap to gain their trust? To then abuse it? To then… Take advantage of him?
The kitten mewled again, sitting up and slowly blinking at the hybrid. It tilted its head as if fascinated by him.
“It’s a girl by the way, haven’t given her a name yet since, Caroline said it will be more appropriate to let you name her.”
“I can?..”
Minx nodded simply, crossing her arms and swaying from side to side in a soothing and patient manner.
Returning his gaze back to the kitten, George managed to lift his hand and pet the silver tabby, earning a loud purr. It was, more comforting than expected. A tiny smile spread across his lips.
“She’s adorable, I know,” Minx half-smiled, looking almost amused.
Smoothing his thumb over the she-cat’s face, George found that his heartbeat had slowed, being calmed by the kittens purring. It was comforting, really. He didn’t know why, but it just was. Not that he was complaining.
“Say, kinda wondering,” Minx said flatly, “do you maybe wanna name her something like, McKanzie?”
“McKanzie?” George repeated, it sounded strange in his opinion, maybe because he never heard such a name before. But looking at the silver kitten, it strangely fit.
“Yeah, the first name that I thought of when I saw the little cutie.”
George thought for a minute. “I think… I think I like it.” He really didn’t get to choose the name, but he did not mind the name Minx suggested. It was a nice name despite it sounding a bit strange, but it suited the kitten. He repeated the name once more; “McKanzie…”
Now named McKanzie, the silver tabby mewed as if she recognized her name. She lifted herself up on her haunches and put her paw on the bridge of his nose, making him and the mountain lioness hybrid chuckle.
“I guess she likes it too,” she grinned.
---
“Think that they are getting a prophecy?” “It’s called an omen or a sign,” Brendan explained. “I think that whatever it is, Clay is getting some kind of warning.”
Clay shrugged the conversation behind them off and continued following the thick red vines with sturdy looking twisting branches. They kept on going, leaning on rocks and twirling around trees, taking over the greens and browns of the forest. That was when they realized that they were coming closer to the land Darryl made his home. Why was it coming from there? Was it metaphorical or literal?
Beware the evil that hides within…
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It was the seemingly impossible combination of being a rare occurrence and a repeated statement for Sonia. How sorry people were. How horrible they insisted they felt. But so often those words felt empty, repeated because someone instructed them to and that their real feelings on the matter were different. Something Fuyuhiko had brought up one day, early on, over breakfast in the main dining room. It had been just the five of them then, eating the rice porridge Akane had managed to throw together while Hajime and Kazuichi had replaced something else that had broken on Jabberwock Island (a common occurrence that the Future Foundation did little to assist with. In order to encourage the former Remnants to be self-sufficient). Fuyuhiko had declared between spoonfuls that for as much as the Future Foundation apologized for what they'd endured in the simulation, they never really meant it. They espoused it when Naegi was present, urged by his endlessly hopeful eyes and smile that grated, frankly, on everyone that wasn't Naegi.
She hadn't wanted to admit it, or at least the Sonia before the Tragedy never would have agreed, but she'd nodded that morning, with tired eyes and hair still too thin from lack of proper nourishment. They were inundated with meaningless words, many of them apologies, and the only sentiments that sunk in were when the remnants were left alone, over bowls of bland rice porridge.
Yet, from her place curled up on the mattress and behind tear-stained arms, Yaguchi's words did not seem so hollow. Maybe it was the way her voice broke a bit, or the way she sniffed and breathed, the laborious sort one had to utilize in order to accommodate tears. But Sonia lifted her head to find the other woman crying, something that appeared to be as foreign to her as it was second nature to Sonia now. "Optimism is on short supply here," She told her. She used to be good at comforting others, an ability she lost somewhere during The Tragedy. "So is fixing anything beyond the pods we were kept in and anything to keep the island functioning. But...thank you, I guess, is what I am attempting to say."
Gratitude was also on short supply, or anything that prompted the remnants to live somewhere outside of their own heads or in the solace of one another. After all, who else could possibly fathom what they'd been through, or seen them as anything besides monsters? It was one of so many reasons, though an important one, that she'd clung to the thought of Gundham returning with her to Novoselic, that there was somewhere in his heart for her to occupy. One that, if the stitches in her foot were any indication, she still held onto, despite how firmly he'd declined her in any way that wasn't the strictest of platonic friendships.
Her hands still gripped the flannel fabric of her pajama pants, though Sonia did keep her head raised, her sobs ebbing as she listened to Yaguchi's assessment of her fraying sanity. "I dreamt of silk kimono woven with metallic thread on display," She continued, furrowing her brows as she tried to force her memories the way she used to try and force herself to say the correct words of a Japanese saying so she wouldn't be laughed at. "And a suit of samurai armor, a katana or two, a bow and arrows, and a battered book. All on display around the dance floor for guests to admire and assess. But mostly people danced, and drank, and laughed, though I could not make out their faces to recognize, and they would not speak to me."
"So I went outside, onto the terrace, in the dark and rain," She continued, brows furrowed and eyes shut as she gripped the flannel fabric tighter, trying to pry open a locked door in her mind by sheer force. And Sonia wasn't that strong, not anymore: the excess of alcohol and drugs were proof enough of that, not to mention how she'd shattered in Gundham's wake. "I had...something in my hand then. White fabric, a handkerchief I think. There was someone outside, dressed in dark clothes and I kept holding it out to them and talking to them, but they did not take it and they did not speak to me, no matter how much I shouted or the rain poured or anything else. And then I woke up."
Like her dream, the rain still poured down outside. But unlike it, at least Yaguchi would communicate with her. The party in her dream was comprised of obscured faces and a black outfit sopping wet. Yaguchi was, at least, real: insisting Sonia's mind wasn't beyond repair and holding out her hands to her from her side of the bed.
Sonia hesitated at the open-palm hands extended towards her. While her fists uncurled, letting the soft flannel fall back against her legs in wrinkles, she'd reached halfway towards Yaguchi's hands before pulling her own back again. As if her touch, Sonia's touch, were a poison that would contaminate everything. That was what The Tragedy had taught her, anyway: that all she and her friends caused was pain and suffering, and those were the only things the Remnants of Despair could be entrusted to do.
With a deep breath, she reached out again and set her own hands atop Yaguchi's: palm to palm, with all of the various calluses from her work at the farm and a small scar or two from during or after The Tragedy, they all seemed to run together in her mind nowadays and caused her to put little trust in it. Save for all of the horrible deeds, of course: those she could confirm with photographs and video from during her bloodthirsty reign.
"I will accept it, thank you," She replied, her mouth dry and voice uneven. Touching someone so casually that wasn't one of her friends was strange to her. Strange, but not unpleasant. "If your companionship is something you wish to give me." If you don't find me to be so awful and irredeemable.
"I want to, need to, try and sleep again," She said, looking to Yaguchi with eyes swollen and red from crying, with dark circles from fatigue. Sonia let go of her hands before pulling back the covers and burrowing beneath them again. "Even if it will not be a sound and dreamless one. If you do not mind. It is not the most comfortable thing, discussing what goes on inside my head."
What she wanted to do was lay back upon the mattress and sleep - to find some rest in the presence of Sonia Nevermind, even if her own body was too weathered and weak to properly take advantage of it. Yet, if Sonia was distraught, even if there was nothing they could do, it felt wrong to simply roll over and return to sleep. Even if there was nothing she could do, surely being here, listening to her, acknowledging her hardships and her pain, counted for something? And so, although it stung to see Sonia pull away from her touch and claim, definitively, that Shinobu could not help, she listened regardless.
Careful not to touch her again, since Sonia had made it very clear that that was unwelcome, Shinobu merely sat close by, eyes fixed upon Sonia, her expression flickering between quiet concern, and pensive listening. As Sonia explained her dream, though, a tightness grew in their stomach, heavy and unmistakable. A party, with dancing, and Japanese antiques? A dress that wasn't quite to her styling? A museum-like atmosphere?
It couldn't be. There was no reason for Sonia Nevermind to remember that evening - certainly not in this sort of state. It was a forgettable evening at a mid-tier fundraiser, of which Sonia in her capacity as Princess of Novoselic had surely attended dozens, if not hundreds, within her teenage years. Nothing especially notable happened that Shinobu recalled, and while there had been a minor story afterwards, with regards to the vulturous press, even that wasn't the sort of thing that one would remember a half decade later.
No, to think that it was that night in particular, that Sonia was recalling, was almost comically narcissistic. It must have been something else - some event where something important had happened. Maybe there had been a piece of good news from her family, or perhaps she'd crossed paths with some important figure. Perhaps it wasn't even a specific event at all, but rather some generalized aggregate of various parties and galas she'd attended - a kind of stand-in memory for anything specific, where the various nights were blended together into something that felt true, even if it wasn't, strictly speaking, factual. Could that not explain how she hadn't seen any specific people?
And yet, the rain, the dark terrace outside of the ballroom... Were those details not too distinct? "I..." No. No. No no no. Whatever this was, regardless of whether it was, or wasn't, the night that came to Shinobu's mind, there were more important things to deal with. Sonia was in a state of crisis, and to be solipsistic and view things only from their own perspective wouldn't help matters. "I'm so sorry, Miss Nevermind. I'm so very sorry." Was that really all she could say in support? Was she no more useful than a cheap greeting card picked out from the sale rack at a convenience store?
The impulse came, strong, confident, to wrap Sonia in her arms and hold her tightly - an impulse that the archer resisted as best they could. Sonia was in no state to have her boundaries disrespected further, not when she'd already realized the extent of the violation of her mind by the very people who shared Shinobu's uniform. "I wish there was more that I could say. I wish there was anything that I could do to fix this, but, I'm aware that there isn't, and I can't. I..." How awful it was to see Sonia cry. It would never get easier, no matter how many times she saw her twisted up into a tight ball of wails and sobs.
Shinobu felt her own face grow wetter, as a few errant tears slipped from her own eyes. Her memories were fine, aside from the ones she'd lost as a child, so what reason did she have to cry? Yet, Sonia was right enough - so much had been taken from her. She had lost friends, family members, her nation, her freedom, and now even her memories were denied her. It had always been so unfair, what she was asked to endure, never complaining or conveying her needs, and even now, it seemed too much the same. Quietly, Shinobu wiped at her cheeks, and beneath her eyes. "I'm not one for silver linings. I'm woefully inept at optimism, but." She was getting choked up, as though her airway was constricting. They took a breath, then another. "It sounds like a genuine memory, and if you're remembering anything, then, I believe that all of your memories will come back one day. I'm sure that they will."
But even that sentiment felt a bit hollow. How long would it take, and how much heartache would she endure in the meantime? "For now though, Miss Nevermind, I can only say how sorry I am. So much has happened to you, with concern for your health and your happiness playing no part in any of it. It's cruel." They swallowed. Then swallowed again. "But you are not insane, and you are not alone." With a tentative fragility that seemed like it could shatter at any moment, she held out her hands in such a way that Sonia could take them if she liked, or easily move past them into a hug if that was preferable, yet without expectation that she go along with something that she found unpleasant if not. "Even if all I can offer you is a promise of companionship, then I give you that promise and ask nothing in return."
#quickdeaths#post neo world program verse#(Sonia feels like she's in a therapy session and talking about her feelings is hard)#(Just like reaching out for Shinobu's hands but she did it)
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Touched starved
It was no secret this case had been extra hard on Spencer. Even Y/n, the newest member of the team, knew some bad things happened when he was kidnapped by Tobias Hankel. Most of the details were covered up though.
Spencer didn’t talk about it much. Only a few words when he felt strong enough. With having only been at the BAU for two years Y/n knew the least of what happened.
Then again, she was a profiler. She could tell this case was having a more-than-usual bad effect on Spencer.
It was because of the parallels, she figured. This unsub had been kidnapping and torturing victims. Having to solve it and, more importantly, knowing there was someone out there just like him, was hard on Spencer.
His brain almost didn’t work as it ran constant flashbacks of what Hankel did to him. Like a horror movie with no ending.
Everyone noticed, not just Y/n.
She just didn’t understand why they wouldn’t help him. They were all far closer to him than Y/n was. Prentiss, Morgan and JJ didn’t seem to be doing anything to help him but Y/n just felt like she couldn’t let him suffer in silence. She knew Garcia had tried to ask him how he was on the phone but there was only so much she could do from so far away. It wasn’t any of the team's fault though, they knew how Spencer operated.
That was how she found herself outside his hotel room on the 3rd night of the case. After seeing his condition slowly deteriorate throughout the hours they’d been on the case, she couldn’t just sit by. So dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, she knocked on his door.
“Y/n... what are you doing here?” Spencer asked as he opened the door to see who it was. It was very obvious that in the 4 hours since Hotch had sent them to get some rest, Spencer had not slept a second.
“I...” Y/n didn’t actually know how to answer his question. Instead, she just walked into his hotel room which caused him a lot of confusion. The puzzled look on his face didn’t stop. “I’m here for you, Spence.” She told him as she sat on his bed.
“Obviously, you’re in my room but I don’t understand why.” He replied. His brows were furrowed and his arms crossed across his chest. At least he’d changed into a hoodie and pants. Y/n didn’t think she’d ever seen him in a hoodie.
“Come here.” She instructed and he obliged, walking over to her so he was at the foot of the bed. “I’m here so you can have someone to talk to. Or not to talk to.” She explained. He still, very obviously, didn’t understand. “You haven’t stopped working on this case for almost 72 hours straight, that’s unhealthy. Now, you’re going to relax and just stop thinking about it.”
Spencer huffed out a sigh. “I can’t just stop thinking about it.”
“Why?”
“There’s someone out there who can’t stop thinking about it. He’s scared, terrified. And he’s just hoping that we can save him. But everything is telling him that there’s no one left. That they’re going to get there and be left with just his body.” Spencer hunched over as he talked, feeling as small as he looked. Tears were forming in his eyes and he was desperately fighting them. “I can’t stop working on this because we need to find out where he is. I can’t stop working on this because he can’t stop thinking about it. He’s living through the torture but he’s going to give up and want to give in to death.”
“What happened, Spencer?” Y/n softly asked as the tears started spilling down his cheeks.
He just stood there blankly. “I can’t.” He sobbed out.
Y/n knew about his aversion to hugs but she pulled him in for one, wrapping her arms around his slender waist. To her surprise, he leant into the embrace.
They stayed like that for a while before she pulled back, picking up his hand. She moved back so she was sitting against the headboard and pulled Spencer over, patting her lap. He didn’t even give a second thought to lay his head on her lap. His brain could almost stop spinning as he laid there.
Y/n moved her hand to his hair, threading it through her fingers. It was remarkably soft and fluffy.
“What happened to you, Spence?” She asked him again.
With tears still streaming out his eyes he could answer. “It hurt so much, Y/n. He wouldn’t stop it, no matter how much I begged. I was so helpless there.” He choked out, in a broken sentence due to his heavy breathing.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m right here.” Y/n comforted again. She tested out the boundaries by running her hand over his cheek and when he leant into her hand she continued to brush the tears off his cheek. “Let it all out.”
“I couldn’t do anything!” Spencer cried. It was the most painful sound she’d ever heard. Someone so composed and always perfect falling apart. He was broken. “I just sat there while he beat me. I can still feel it. When I close my eyes sometimes I see him. It’s so stupid because I know, scientifically, I’m experiencing PTSD but sometimes I feel all the walls coming down on me.”
Y/n’s heart broke for him. “Spencer, it’s not stupid.” He cried even harder at that.
“I just need to crack the case and save him, Y/n. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t.”
Y/n moved her hand to rub his back. “I know you feel that way.” She didn’t really know what to say to comfort him. He was so often the one helping everyone else out.
“I feel so silly for still being scared too.” He mentioned.
“Oh, Spence, it’s okay. Hankel is dead and you’re safe now.” She soothed him, still rubbing circles in his back.
He was still bawling his eyes out, feeling unbearable sadness. “I know that. But I still see him and I can still remember every second of it.”
“You didn’t deserve any of that.” She told him firmly. “He was sick, I know you know that. You went through the worst things imaginable and you’re so strong.”
He lightly nodded. “Will it get better?”
“Yes, if you keep talking about it. To anyone. JJ?” Y/n suggested.
“I like talking to you.” He mentioned it, quieter than before. Y/n could finally smile at that. Despite everything, Spencer was still so kind.
“Good.” She told him as she moved her hand back to his hair. “I could see it was getting to you. With all the similarities in him drugging and abusing his victims. I can’t imagine what you went through but I’m so proud of you.” She continued, meaning every word she told him.
The tears had stopped coming so fast now. They were still constant but a weaker flow. “I just felt so helpless when I was there.”
Y/n almost chuckled at that. “Spencer, from what I’ve heard you were the one who told the team how to find you. I think you were so brave and I know they’re all so proud of you.” She told him.
“Thank you.” He murmured as he moved his head in her lap. She continued to comb through his hair.
They stayed in the exact position for a while. Until, eventually, the tears stopped.
Spencer then sat up. His cheeks were flushed red as he made eye contact with Y/n. “I’m sorry I completely freaked out.” He nervously rambled out an apology.
Y/n couldn’t have shaken her head faster. “Spencer Reid, you don’t have to be sorry for anything. Everyone needs someone to talk to.”
“I’ve got to save him, Y/n,” Spencer told her as he moved to get up off the bed, no doubt to go to his makeshift workspace.
Instead, Y/n tugged on his arm, not letting him move. “I know you’ve got to, Spence. But you can’t do that if you haven’t slept or relaxed in days.” She informed him. He was smart enough, and he had read at least 300 articles on the importance of sleep, to not argue with her.
“Okay, I’ll sleep. Thanks for coming to see me.” He told her, trying to get her out of the room.
Y/n noticed. “I don’t think so. You’re stuck with me for the night, buddy.” She told him as she pattered her lap again.
He looked like he was thinking about putting his head on it but he stopped. “Then you won’t sleep.” He realised.
“Okay then,” Y/n said as she pulled the covers of his bed up and got in. “I hope you’re okay with cuddling.” She was a little worried he wouldn’t be into it, just because of his germaphobic nature. But her worries subsided when he got in next to her and quickly put his head on her chest,
Y/n moved so she was lying flat on her back with her head on a pillow. Spencer put his own head on her chest and wrapped his arms around her waist like a baby koala would its mother.
She moved her arm so she could wrap it around Spencer’s torso and pull him closed but he stopped her. “Can you, uh... could you do it to my, um, hair?” He nervously asked.
Happy to oblige, Y/n moved her hand to his hair and started to run her fingers through it. “If you just want to lie here it’s fine but we can talk too.” She offered him, still unsure of what he needed. Spencer was so used to closing up that he decided to go against what his brain was telling him.
“My parents,’ He started, “When I was little we didn’t really do touching... no one’s ever hugged me like this.” The thought of a little kid Spencer not getting hugged broke Y/n’s heart again.
“Is this okay?” She asked, cautious of where his boundaries might lie.
“Yes.” He hurriedly answered, not wanting her to stop for a second. “I like it. I just didn’t get hugs as a kid from anyone. And as I grew up I learnt more about germs and figured that’s why my parents repealed me.” He spoke slowly and softly like he was half asleep. Maybe he was. “But I like this. It makes me feel better.” He figured.
“That’s good.” Y/n hummed. “I’m always here for you if you want to talk or just cuddle.” She told him.
The smile she could feel against her chest warmed her heart. “I’d like that and please don’t stop stroking my hair.”
She smiled at that. “I won’t.” She meant it as she leant down to place a kiss on his forehead.
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