#but it's hard to keep interest in anything when you feel like a zombie every day

[zemos-bathrobe]

the eternal question of am i losing interest in [hyperfixation] because i've gotten bored with it or am i losing interest in [hyperfixation] because of Depression™

[hetalimagines]

General headcanons for Alfred as a boyfriend (SFW)

Here's my first actual post on this blog, hehe... I can't find the ask but someone requested some Alfred headcanons, so here are my rambles about what I think he's like as a boyfriend!

He’s honestly not the most traditionally romantic person. Your relationship is more like friends who make out sometimes. But he does have his own little ways of showing you he loves you!

He’ll put together playlists of songs that remind him of you. They’re mostly loose connections, like maybe a song mentions your eye color, or the lyrics remind him of a date you went on together, or it just sounds romantic and makes him wanna kiss you. He likes to sit with you while you listen (to every single song), and he interrupts the songs a bit to explain why he chose them.

“This one had me thinking what if we were dancing in a ballroom together, and out of nowhere, bam! Zombies bust in. The door crashes to the ground! Our dance turns into one of those cool fighting scenes with the—oh, this part reminded me of the time I woke up early and you were about to fall off the bed. You had a cute bedhead.”

(You have no idea what the lyrics are at this point.)

Dates with him are pretty casual, more like “hanging out” than anything fancy. Maybe you stay at home and watch movies/play games, or you go out for dinner at a local diner, or you go do awful karaoke together, or you go and prank a friend together.

He’s happy as long as he’s with you. Bonus if there’s food and/or drink.

He occasionally takes you out to a more traditional restaurant and dresses for the occasion. They’re usually expensive, too. The food isn’t his preference (too complicated for his palate), but if it makes you happy, he’s all for dealing with it for just one night.

His primary love languages are acts of service and quality time. He’s always doing what he can to help you out (and feel proud of himself in the process). Whether he helps you run errands, runs a bath for you ahead of time, or fluffs your pillow before you get in bed, it’s all because he wants to make your life easier!

He gets a little jealous if you ever spend time with your shared friends without him, or if you spend more time with others than him.

He’s so excited if you take interest in any of his hobbies. Movies? He’ll ask if you want to co-write a script with him. (He’s very relaxed about what exactly ends up in the script.) Archaeology? He has so many random facts to dump on you, and he’ll be super impressed by any knowledge you have on it. Conspiracy theories? Time to watch a bunch of documentaries! He enjoys them despite their flaws, but lets you know exactly when something is false and what actually happened.

He tries to take interest in your hobbies, too, even if he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. It could be the most boring thing and he’d still listen and ask you questions about it. If it makes you happy, he wants to know all about it.

Pet names from him consist of things like babe, dude (💀), honey, occasionally sweetie, (jokingly… mostly) prince or princess. It’s all over the place. He’ll call you honey and dude back-to-back sometimes.

He loves debating if you’re comfortable with it! But be warned, he gets very heated about certain topics. His sense of justice is important to him. Otherwise, he’s usually not serious about these debates and doesn’t care who wins.

He tries to keep things light and doesn’t usually let people see his more serious side. He’ll open up to you more over time, however. It’s really him letting a wall down and allowing himself to get closer to you.

Every now and then, he has days where he’s a lot quieter and calmer than usual. He just wants to relax, stay on the couch with you and watch movies or simply chat. Maybe a movie chattering in the background as he tells you about his childhood. He doesn’t try so hard to keep up this energetic, heroic persona.

He’s right back to normal the next day like nothing happened.

Likes to annoy you for fun. Not in a mean-spirited way. He just thinks your responses are cute and has poor impulse control. Poking your cheeks or ruffling your hair or playing an obnoxious song loudly on the stereo while he dances. But he’ll back off if you’re genuinely upset with him. He means no harm.

He loves if you’re willing to play along with whatever he gets up to. Maybe he’s decided he’s going to try and vacuum the whole house while doing a handstand on the vacuum. You can hold onto his legs to help him stay balanced.

This man is very impulsive and has a tendency to get himself hurt. Random bruises all over his body or a cut along his forearm. He bounces back easily, and doesn’t want to fuss over it, but he lowkey likes if you baby him about it. He’ll always say how it’s not a big deal and he can take it, but his heart does this little flutter when you show concern, and even more if you force him to take better care of himself.

He burns himself in the kitchen and you force him to run it under cold water. He’s swooning inside.

He likes to gossip about others, especially over breakfast. He can’t help it; he’s just nosy, and he always has an idea of what’s going on and how he can help out. Huge bonus if you gossip with him!

He loves to feed you, but the majority of the food he brings for you is burgers or tubs of ice cream. He likes to experiment with the burgers’ toppings and seasonings, but they’re all burgers nonetheless.

Every now and then, he does plan some big romantic endeavor. It’s like a surprise. You never know when it’s coming… You wake up one morning and find out he’s booked a week long cruise, your bedroom is filled with balloons, and there’s enough breakfast food on the table to feed an army.

He does this thing sometimes (often) where he swoops in and has to save you. A puddle on the ground? No need to fear! He picks you up and swiftly carries you over it. The safest place for you is in his arms. He’ll even lay down and let you use him as a bridge if you want.

A suspicious penny on the sidewalk? LOOK OUT, IT MIGHT BE A BOMB! Let HIM step on it before you get blown up!

He steps on it. Nothing happens. Better safe than sorry!

If you’re the more independent type, that won’t stop him from trying. He just wants to keep you safe and have you appreciate his efforts. Being disinterested or resistant will just make him try harder.

Says cheesy stuff like “happy wife, happy life” unironically. He’s also the type to use terrible pickup lines to flirt with you. Totally unaware of how bad they are until you start laughing.

He also doesn’t care that they’re bad. He’s just having fun.

Loves to give you his clothes to wear. Seriously. You want one of his hoodies? Try six of them.

You complain when one stops smelling like him so he puts it on, works out, then gives it back to you like :D! Fixed the problem!

He takes so many pictures of you guys. Videos, too. His phone storage is eaten up by it. His favorite thing is to take selfies together. Usually with some silly filter. Or an even sillier caption.

“me and the babe out shopping” and it’s a picture of you, holding a piece of fruit with the dog ears filter

He’s not the most physically affectionate, but he always gives you morning kisses and especially kisses before leaving the house. He also loves carrying you around (mostly bridal style) in his arms for no reason other than he can. A hand on your back, another on your thighs, your head pressed against his chest. He loves it.

He loves knowing you find him physically attractive! He worries sometimes about being too overweight, so any reassurance that you like his body helps. If you think he’s hot, and you’re hot yourself, that must mean he definitely is.

Has a tendency to call you hot, but he’ll call you other things if it makes you uncomfortable.

Occasionally brags about you and how lucky he is. Not as often as you might think. Though he gets oddly competitive if anyone acts like their partner is better than you and starts spouting whatever he can so everyone knows you’re the absolute best. No competition.

[froggibus]

Sleepless Nights - Belphegor

Pairing: Belphegor x reader

Genre: hurt/comfort & fluff

Word Count: 1.1k

Summary: belphie gets mad at you one night for waking him up, but can’t help but realize that you haven’t been sleeping

CW: nightmares, sleep deprivation, exhaustion, exertion, insomnia?, soft! belphie, vv comforting,

i think this is the first time ive ever wrote anything about belphie on his own...interesting. anyway im sleepy like 24/7....def not self indulgent

————

You wake up screaming, sweat pooling on your forehead and sticking your hair to your skin. You’re left breathing heavily, heart racing in the dark of your room. You squeeze your eyes shut and try to force away the nightmare, but it’s no use. 

Your demons have caught up to you—and not the ones you live with. 

To say Belphie is annoyed is an understatement. It’s the fourth night in a row that your incessant screaming has woken him up, and he’s had about enough of it. He’s trudging to your room with a frown on his face, ready to chew you out for being so loud. 

What was your issue, anyway? Were you so needy for attention that you had to wake everyone up? He shakes his head at the thought. Needy little human. Still, the thought of you trying to wake him up for his attention makes his heart speed up more than he’d like. 

He shoves open your door, the wood whining on its hinges, and stomps inside. He freezes in his tracks at your dishevelled form, though. Wet eyes and thick lashes, a frown etched on your cute face. 

You look like a sad little doll, and Belphie fights the urge to coo at you. He has to remind himself that you woke him up and that he’s supposed to be annoyed with you. But it’s so hard when just looking at you makes him feel like he never fell from heaven. 

“Can you keep the noise down?” He narrows his eyes on you, “I’m trying to sleep.”

His words leave you speechless, staring at him slack jawed. His pretty eyes are narrowed on you, soft dark hair tumbling into his face and catching on his lashes. You hate him for being so pretty, you hate him for being so mean. 

“I-I—” your voice catches in your throat, your words falling away. 

Belphie looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to say something. He knows he’s being unfair to you—you’re sad and you look so defeated and weak, it makes him want to protect you. But Belphie is a stubborn bitch, and all he wants right now is one peaceful night of sleep. 

“Sorry,” you mumble, hanging your head. “I’ll stop.”

He hums a quick response, turning on his heel and closing the door behind him. He wants to slap himself as soon as he leaves your room and hears the muffled sobs on the other side of the door. God, he’s such an asshole. 

—

You walk around the next day like a zombie, shadows under your eyes dark enough to make anyone do a double take. Everything is fuzzy and you have to focus twice as hard in all of your classes, and even then the lights in your peripheral seem to morph into nightmares. 

Your eyes close longer with every blink, and you know you won’t be able to last without a proper night of sleep much longer. It’s been almost a week since you slept more than three hours and your body is reaching its breaking point. 

The day blurs together as the exhaustion takes over your body, and you start to feel like you’re in an aquarium. 

No one’s around when you get home. All busy with extracurriculars and work and whatnot. It makes it easier for you to go sit at the dining room table, muscles tense and rigid, trying to keep your eyes open under the harsh light. 

It’s dumb, and you know it’s not healthy for you, but anything is better than nightmares. Anything is better than having Belphie look at you with the same annoyance he did yesterday.

“Hey.” You must have drifted off, because a soft voice snaps you out of it. 

You flinch, forcing your eyes open to look at Belphie. He has his hands shoved into the pockets of his sweatpants, staring at you with something new in his eyes—concern. 

You can’t even open your mouth, you’re so tired.  You give him a weak wave and rest your head on the back of the chair. 

Belphie kneels down at your side, resting his hands on your thighs. He’s never been gentle with you before, never cared enough to get this close to you. His touch has your breath catching in your throat, tingles filling the spots where he touches.

“When was the last time you slept?”

Your tired eyes meet his. “A week ago, maybe, I can’t remember.”

He sighs. He really is an asshole. Here he is, getting mad at you for inconveniencing him, all the while you’re falling apart. He wants to pick up the pieces and put them back together, but all he ever seems to do is push them further apart. 

“Why haven’t you been sleeping?” His cold hand cups your jaw, holding up your head. He’s been where you’ve been—so absolutely tired that you feel like you can’t move. 

“It’s,” you think about telling him, but with the way he’s holding you and looking at you, you don’t want to be more of a burden. “It’s nothing.”

He squints his eyes at you. “Don’t lie to me, baby.”

The pet name is like a shot of espresso but just as quickly as it hits you, the high starts to fade. Belphie watches the light spring to your eyes, surpressing his grin at the sight. Then, he watches it fade away. Yeah, you really need sleep. 

“I’ve been having nightmares,” your voice is a mix between a whisper and a mumble, all of your words falling together. 

Nightmares? That’s what’s been making you scream all night? He sighs, squeezing your knees. “You know that’s a quick fix for me, right?”

He wants to laugh at the way your doe eyes look up at him hopefully, a spark of life behind them. He could’ve fixed this for you weeks ago—if only he wasn’t so stubborn and so mean. 

He grabs your hand tightly, half lifting you out of the chair. You’re so tired that your body sags, all of your limbs feeling impossibly heavy. Belphie has no problem with this, though. You’re human, you weigh practically nothing to him. 

He scoops you up in his arms and takes you back to his room. He thinks about taking you to yours, but he knows no one would dare disturb him if they thought he was sleeping, and undisturbed sleep is what you need right now. 

He lays you down in his bed, tucking you in and hiding you away from the cold air. He lays down next to you, an arm around your waist. 

He rests his head on your shoulder, hugging you close to him. “Sweet dreams only, okay?” He mumbles into your cheek, “I won’t let any of those nightmares come back as long as you’re close to me.”

You rest your hand over his, and let sleep take over. Belphie doesn’t dare leave you—holding you the whole time, ready to drop everything for you when you wake up. You might be the one sleeping, but Belphie is the one that’s so gone.

[blacklegsanjiii]

i keep seeing so much content of sanji being raised by a warlord and brought to the meetings and desperately need more abt that. depends on who his parents is, but what are his relationships with the other warlords in one of these aus? how many recognize him, how many are still fond of him, how many turn a blind eye to the boy who used to pester them as a child?

come to think about it- is it possible to have an au where sanji is raised by all of the warlords at once? i have no idea how this would happen, but sanji is just. passed between warlords like a child of divorced parents (fuck he would have to grow up with croc AND mingo oh dear). all of them end up getting attached to him and are conflicted when he becomes a strawhat pirate. his crew mostly just want answers on how all these powerful enemies clearly know their cook, who keeps dodging all their questions cause he doesnt want to face the backlash of the warlords' collective ward becoming an enemy of the wg

So I'm going to answer this ask in two parts because that's so funny. I'm going to skip Donquixote!Sanji just because he has the most interaction and detail in regards to Warlord meetings and Dad!Mihawk never brought Sanji nor did Boa. So unfortunate they don't get time to shine.

1. How the warlords react to a kid being the meetings.

With Fishman!Sanji everyone thinks he's cute and quiet and his snacks are so good. Doffy uses this Sanji to try to sway Crocodile into kidnapping a child with him. Crocodile is just "anything raised by you won't make it to twenty, no." Boa thinks Fishman!Sanji is fine. He thinks she's pretty and says it but Sanji is more interested in the libraries and Marines than anyone there. Crocodile absently pats Sanji as he passes where as Doffy holds him to the sky and Boa is like "ew" for the most part. Gecko Moria is probably disinterested in all of the Sanjis and will avoid him. Perona is interested though and will play with Sanji when she's there too. Mihawk will actually smile at the boy and talk to him about cooking and will bring a bento for the boy sometimes. Kuma doesn't have his humanity so.................................

Croc!Sanji basically says hi to everyone and then reads quietly. Mentions every once in a while how dumb or inefficient something is. If Doffy comes at him he runs for it. The first time Sanji comes to a warlord meeting in a dress or whatever Boa is like "is he making fun of woman?" And Croc is like "my son has no gender" which makes Boa take him shopping properly. Mihawk and Jinbei will leave cook books or something. Perona does Sanji's make up whenever he's in a dress.

Perona stands in for Gecko Moria I feel like. He just seems more interested in zombies than children. Which, I get. Big Sister Perona comes in when she's old enough.

Readmore for divorced polycule parenting. It does get to marineford,

2. The Warlords(Except Kuma, for obvious reasons) all co parent Sanji. Let's start with which warlord finds Sanji!

I am screaming. OH NO! Mihawk showing up to a warlord meeting, holding a child and apologizing for his delay? Doffy asks what that thing he's holding is and Mihawk is like this my son, Sanji. Everyone is staring at him. Boa asks what the fuck he's doing with a kid.

Mihawk explains he got Sanji and Redleg off a rock and Sanji went with him and the kid is like ten and so small. Doffy somehow cajoles Sanji to be held by him despite his fear and it's like a whole thing and Mihawk is amazed because he's been bitten so hard it draws blood. Everyone is amazed. Crocodile is genuinely concerned about the fucking man holding this kid who is maybe a tenth his size at best. He even gets Sanji calmed down more by moving his coat enough to hide Sanji in it while he holds him.

After the meeting Sanji is properly introduced to all who care, even if Boa is a bit standoffish. Crocodile asks if he'll be a regular attendee to the meetings and Mihawk says yes because he doesn't want to leave Sanji alone on Kuriagana with the humandrills. Jinbei asks Sanji a few questions which they all attentively listen to the answers of. Sanji stutters out about opening a restaurant on the All Blue and being the first to find it.

The next meeting Sanji is gifted cookbooks by the other four warlords and Sanji thanks them quietly with tears in his eyes and ohhh they were not expecting that. Nope.

"What the hell, kid? You can't expect us to believe Mihawk is the first person to be nice to you." Crocodile puffs on his cigar and when Sanji doesn't answer Boa grabs Sanji and holds him for the meeting. Afterwards Doffy uses his strings to take Sanji around. Mihawk is frowning the entire time as Boa tries to turn Doffy to stone and Jinbei tells her not to do that for Sanji's safety. Crocodile manages to lure Doffy back with the promise of a meal.

The next meeting Mihawk has to go on a job that will take a few weeks and he doesn't want to take Sanji so Crocodile offers to take him to Alabasta and return him at the next warlord meeting. So Sanji goes with him and at the next meeting Daz and Bon Clay are there and Bon Clay is explaining to Mihawk and Boa that Sanji isn't just a boy. Boa squeals in delight and after the meeting she and Mihawk take Sanji shopping. Sanji is confused because it was just something he thought he could only do in Alabasta but Mihawk is like "Why would I do anything to stop you from being happy?" And Boa is so happy because she has new little person to spoil with fine dresses and stuff and Mihawk is trying to explain that Sanji is training physically and Boa is like "AND???? LET ME SPOIL THEM MIHAWK!!"

The next time Doffy takes them despite Crocodile and Jinbei saying he shouldn't but Doffy just flips them off and basically kidnaps the kid. Sanji comes back with three carton of cigarettes, fifteen bentos and looks like he hasn't bathed in a week despite Doffy and Sanji saying that they just took a bath. Everyone is looking at Sanji and the cigarettes and Sanji is like "Doffy's family gave them to me as a going away present. Baby 5 kept hitting me."

"You gotta hit her back!"

"That isn't appropriate let alone with their trauma." Jinbei says.

"We'll train them." Boa proclaims proudly.

"Oh no." Mihawk whispers to himself.

Jinbei takes him next because everyone but him is on a job and Sanji is marveling at everything in Fishman island and excitedly tells everyone when the next meeting happens. At this point they all stay after the meetings to hang out with the kid and if they're staying the night to get breakfast together. But it's weird for the marines to see the Warlords, some of the most feared pirates on the seas be sweet to this kid.

Boa gets Sanji last. Sanji comes back with so many dresses and skirts some make up and their hair styled. Doffy picks them up and proclaims them as "Cute" while displaying Sanji to the marines around them. Jinbei laughs in agreement. Mihawk is pinching the bridge of his nose and practicing his breathing techniques. Thus begins the rotation because Sanji is just being passed around by the warlords because they all went to spend time with Sanji equally.

Perona eventually finds out about this but instead spends the weeks Sanji is with Mihawk with them and enjoying her time on Kuriagana. She and Sanji play dress up. Sanji cooks all the time too. Perona talks about zombies and Mihawk listens. They all paint nails and Mihawk says they should be doing this on Amazon Lily and not Kuriagana. Both Sanji and Perona stick their tongues out at the man.

Sanji still has set backs and the warlords will have calls to check in on Sanji. Like it is insane how caring they all are for this kid. Sanji's ptsd with bugs? Doffy has someone whip an anti bug cream. Nightmares? Jinbei will tell him stories and teach him some techniques to calm down. Mihawk explains haki and how to hide and use it to his advantage. Crocodile teaches him all about finances and shit. When Sanji is dysphoric Mama Boa is all about taking them out and spoiling them and just affirming their gender and will let the others know.

Sanji is suddenly calling four men variations of "dad" and Boa is "mom" and being taught multiple different fighting styles, languages, and is working on his haki. And when he starts at the Baratie all the Warlords will come visit him and on his birthday? It's a mad house. It's insane and Zeff, Patty, and Carne are looking at the guy calling five different warlords 'Dad', 'Papa', 'Papi', 'Mama', 'Pops' and just watching them cater to the eggplant as if he's so good and when Sanji tells them Zeff won't let them berate women for incidents with food wastage Doffy brings Baby 5 and Perona to Baratie and Sanji fears for his fucking life because this is a no win situation.

When Sanji joins the Strawhat crew on the phone with Crocodile in Little Garden he disguises his voice to the best of his abilities and it doesn't really fool the man who since he knows what's going thanks to Robin being at Whiskey Peak. Crocodile calls the other parents and is like "Guess what our child is doing" Mihawk mentions he let the greenhaired one live when he was at Baratie. Boa screams that Mihawk is dumb and suddenly everyone on the call is yelling at each other except Jinbei who is laughing his fucking ass off.

In Impel Down Crocodile Jinbei obviously convinces Luffy to get Crocodile out and when they're all at Marineford Jinbei yells to the other warlords that Luffy is Sanji's captain, Ace is Luffy's brother, and Sanji is missing thanks to Kuma. Mihawk asks if that's why Roronoa is at Kuriagana.

"Probably, so change of plans?" Crocodile asks.

"Change of plans." Doffy nods.

"Boa, you do know Luffy is seventeen, correct?" Jinbei asks her and she's frowning.

"No, I don't read the paper."

"WOMAN YOU ARE LITERALLY A QUEEN NOW LET'S DO THIS BEFORE EVERYONE GETS KILLED!" Crocodile yells and suddenly there's two extra warlords helping in the fight and the Marines are like 'fuck' and Ace and Luffy are confused because no one has mentioned this. At all. So the Warlords take over the fight to get the fleet. Jinbei gets Ace and Luffy out and promises to explain when the other's join them even if they're fading in and out from everything that happened and both of them still taking lava punches.

Shanks shows up and ends the war and finds out on the television that five warlords, two of which were in Impel Down started fighting with Luffy to save Ace and he still ends the war. When he asks them about it they just go "He's our child's captain." Shanks and Buggy are blinking at them confused because what the fuck.

[ficdumper]

Hey there! So I heard that you doing requests so I decided to ask for one! It would be male reader x Rosie, where the reader is a psychotic murderer who's just in the hotel for the free room and is usually a nuisance, but when Rosie comes to visit one day he goes all silent and shy and she finds him super adorable so she keeps coming back. It can be head cannons and it would be romantic fluff.

Rosie x m!reader

Type: one-shot, headcanons

Relationship: romantic

Tags: fluff

Warnings: mentions blood and murder

You, just like all the other sinners in the Pride ring, were here for a reason. Or, reasons. For some it was an ice cream stolen when they were 5, for others - alcohol and robbery.

For you, though?

Murder.

Lots of it.

You've always been quie a creative person when it came to death, your own didn't change it. It just meant you could get more creative and stop hiding it.

Your first years in hell (or has it been centuries) were pretty much the same: kill, cause chaos, annoy some overlords, kill and so on. It was becoming a little too repetitive. So, when you heard about Hazbin hotel, you decided to check it out. It seemed quite an easy deal: you show some of your less bloody qualities and you get to stay there for free. Sounds like a dream, right?

Well, not completely. Charlie's sweeter than sugar meetings and not being allowed to torture whoever you liked there didn't seem very nice. But a big plus, besides free housing, was that you managed to befriend Alastor, or at least become a close acquaintance.

Was it a big surprise? To other residents, probably. To you, however? No way. Both of you could be described as psycophats, curses, menaces and every other "compliment". But your bloody styles still had some differences. While Alastor was more formal and quite careful, even a little elegant in his own twisted way, you were more unpredictable and chaotic.

It wasn't just with murder. You quickly git a reputation for pulling some unexpected pranks. Let's just say, you're a master at giving others heart attacks.

One day Alastor thought it would be interesting to show his best friend Rosie the hotel. And that's what resulted in our current situation: you were so bewitched from the moment you saw the elegant cannibal that you walked into a wall so hard you got a nose bleed (and who can blame you?)

When Rosie sees it, she asks if you're alright and wipes the blood off your face. You can't do anything besides letting her and admiring her up close. Her dark eyes, her neat elegant hair, her perfect smile...

Your thoughts may be beautiful, but from the side you looked like an entranced zombie staring at Rosie with a slightly opened mouth. 'Now, we don't want you to choke on a fly' she says before gently closing your mouth with her hand, while a gentle smile adorned her face.

That made you shut down completely. Usually you would make a comeback or bite off the hand, but now you were nothing like that. Who knew that someone could bring down a murderous psychopath to his knees with just a smile and a few words?

Even when you were covered in blood and unable to say anything, she couldn't help but think 'Cutie~'

She wouldn't mind getting to know you closer, what a bloody pleasure ❤️

She quickly gets interested in you, but it takes more time for her to actually develop romantic feelings

You quickly intrigue her, especially how someone as bloody and murderous like you can be so adorable and romantic

You two give off Morticia and Gomez vibes, you can fight me on this

She sometimes teases you for blushing and/or stuttering around her. She can't help but find you adorable

You two would develop a tradition of meeting up in the Cannibal Town for some tea and snacks

Since both of you can get quite bloody, she would invite you to her Emporium to try out some body parts. Definitely learns your favourites

Someone: why are you two together?

Rosie: he makes me laugh

Reader, covered in blood: •⩊•🔪

A/N: The photos aren't mine, found them on Pinterest

Thanks for your request, I had fun with it😊✨

[anon-402]

Maxo’s End of Stream Key Points.

Where he talks about his character, what it means to be dead in the QSMP, and what could probably happen in the future!

The only thing the federation couldn’t control was me; how I die.

Chat: “You can return to QSMP as a ghost!” Yeah, I’m gonna think about it…

I feel a bit upset because I wanted to reach the ship and say my goodbyes to everyone. I wouldn’t get on the boat tho.

Chat: “Cellbit, Mouse and BBH didn’t make it either.” The only thing I know is I’m dead, and that’s what I want for my lore.

I don’t have anything scripted (for the future). I’m gonna miss QSMP, but because I take rp too seriously, there’s no turning back. Yeah, I can maybe go back as a ghost and haunt people, but not as Cubito Maxo.

The rest may survive because they want to keep playing QSMP, but I say my character is dead and he’s dead because he died in an explosion. If dying means not being able to return to QSMP, it’s fine.

Going out without saying goodbye is what makes me mostly upset. (Reads chat) Do a tape? As if I did it a long time ago? I didn’t thought about that. That’s a good idea. I’m gonna ask the Admins.

I would’ve liked to do the tapes these last days, but I wasn’t thinking of committing suicide before. I didn’t know what was going to happen. (The only thing I knew) was that my character was desperate.

Dono: It would be cool if you could return as an old island survivor who helps the others to- That’s something I don’t get to decide, this is not my series. I can offer it, but that doesn’t mean it fits. I can’t go and say ‘I’m gonna return as a survivor’ because it doesn’t mean it can fit (in the story).

For the Federation to take the bomb away from me and me dying is a way to show how powerful it can be. This kind of thing is necessary in roleplay.

There’s people who liked Purgatory, but I don’t like when I have to gain points. My thing is roleplay. Purgatory was full hardcore, and it’s tiring for me to farm points. When Aypierre killed me for rp reasons, I was like, ‘look what you’ve done all because of some points’ (I think he’s referring to the other players having a discussion because of his dead)

If my character had to kill BBH��� (groans) I can’t, he’s my friend. I can’t switch my mind because of some points. It didn’t fit me or my character and that’s why I didn’t log in. I was going to get frustrated eventually.

If I went through the island saying ‘don’t kill, don’t kill’, they’re going to say ‘look at this hippie mf smoking weed’.

(Reads chat) What do you mean Purgatory 2? I can’t believe it. At least we are dead (laughs). I prefer the other island.

There’s something lore related that I’m really happy about; Quackity accepting he works for the Federation. I mean– everyone suspected it, but there was people still denying it.

(While laughing) Dude, I took the detonator out and no one listened. I mean, yes, there was people roleplaying and asking me what was it. But it was bad timing, there’re too many interactions. Improvising is hard because not everything is perfectly done as in your head. But I was trying to tell them that I had a bomb, but it the end they stole my bomb’s wi-fi.

Tbh, I was already tired of Minecraft. I played almost every day in the QSMP, I needed a rest. In a way, it’s sorta like vacations, only that I can’t return as Maxo Cubito. I will have to return as Maxo Ritual Challenge or Maxo Mutation Zombie. I think I would have a better time with that kinda role.

(Reading chat saying he was evil) I don’t think I made an Evil Maxo rp, because I never wanted to detonate the bomb. What I wanted to do was to negotiate and get everyone out of the island because I love them. I wanted to scape and then detonate it behind us, y’know?

I find interesting the ending, I liked it.

I will make some tapes, so they realize I’m dead and wanted to say goodbye to them.

There’s people happy about my dead because they don’t like QSMP, but honestly, QSMP is really entertaining, it’s really fun, and behind it there’s really cool people. Every time I logged on I was always laughing. Things didn’t go my way, it was catastrophic, but as a roleplayer, I have to accept what is put in front of me.

The night is young. Even though there are tribulations like my dead, we have to overcome things, move forward and enjoy life. Who knows when I’ll play Minecraft again. Maybe tomorrow, maybe never- no, no never (tries to not laugh). No never. Maybe within a year. Maybe in two. But one day I will return.  

(Quick reminder English is not my first language. Sorry for any typos or whatnots)

[animekpopsimp]

Genshin Impact Characters With A Zombie Sibling Reader

Diluc

Your death affected Diluc a lot

He had already lost his father, and now you as well

After your death, Diluc isolates himself, barely leaving the winery

He can't get the image of your dead body out of his head

He blames himself for not being able to keep you safe

It's only days later when you return from being dead

One of the maids runs up to him, looking shocked

That's when he spots a small figure huddled behind her legs

When you peak out from behind her to look at him, Diluc can't speak

Part of him thinks this is a hallucination

He barely pays any attention when the maid explains that she found you outside

He approaches you, kneeling down to your height

He can feel his whole body shaking as he reaches out toward you

Diluc places a hand on your shoulder, finally realizing that you're real

He pulls you into a hug, finally letting himself cry

He doesn't let go for a bit

You just look up at him confused, and he knows you don't remember him

That fact hurts him, but he's just happy to have you back

He promises he'll keep you safe this time

Diluc won't let anything bad happen to you ever again

He hadn't touched your old room since your death, so you stay there

He always makes sure you have your notebook with you, and so do the maids

Slowly, you remember him and grow attached to being around him

That warms his heart

Diluc always makes sure you exercise and keeps you away from his vision

He gets even more protective over you, not wanting to lose you a second time

Other than that, he's still the same with you as he was before

You're still the only person who's able to make him smile

When it comes to Kaeya, Diluc doesn't want you around him that often

Kaeya

When you died, Kaeya felt like his whole world had been destroyed

You were the only biological family he had left, and Diluc didn't want to have anything to do with him

Kaeya tried to hide his grief, but he would cry on his own

Only a week later, he found you wondering around Mondstat

He almost didn't think you were real

Kaeya ran over to you, pulling you into a hug

You just stared up at him, a blank expression on your face

He knew you had lost all your memories, but he was just happy to have you back

You immediately started living with him

He always took good care of you, making sure you had your notebook and exercised

He always kept you away from the heat

Kaeya would try and get you back to the way you were before

He would try and get you interested in your old hobbies, or take you to places you used to go

It made him sad when you didn't really respond, but he didn't give up

It was tough since you were a zombie, but at least he had you back

Childe

It was a tragic accident that ended your life

Childe was there to witness as you were attacked

He watched as the life left your eyes

He could swear it felt like he was thrown back into the abyss

He blamed himself because he was supposed to keep you safe

When you came back to life, he was just about to leave so he could attend to some fatui work

He cried as soon as he saw you, your eyes blank

He pulled you into his arms, sobbing

He promised himself that he wouldn't fail you again

From that moment on, Childe acts like everything is back to normal

Though deep down he knows you aren't the same

He works hard to take care of you, making sure you have your notebook with you, and that you exercise every day

The rest of your family do as well

There are moments Childe gets emotional

He can't help but miss when you were still the energetic child you used to be

[thamaris]

Hi! Just wanted to say that I really love your OC Darrow! Can we have a few more information about him?

Hope you're having a great day!

Of course you can! And thank you~ I hope you are having a great day, too :3

Name - Darrow Alias - The Skeleton Prince Age - 25 Species - Human Gender - Male (AFAB) Pronouns - He/Him Sexuality - Pan Heritage - West Blue Occupation - Pirate The dumbest man on Thriller Bark. He’s very resistant to damage, and despite his slight frame, he hits hard. He's easily outsmarted though. He’s albino and sensitive to the sun, so TB actually feels great to be on. Didn't keep his nips after top surgery because bones going through them hurts. Himbo software running on twink hardware. He has no filter and says exactly what he’s thinking, regardless of how stupid or possibly insulting the thought is. Idealises the ‘Prince type’ and is doing everything in his smooth brained power to become an embodiment of that. Sometimes struggles to pay attention or follow along with things but he’s doing his best! Generally very happy-go-lucky. Is his happiest when fighting; but a switch flips and he forgets all about his princely ideals and becomes a vicious and bloodthirsty brute, revelling in the damage he causes. Is considered to be uncharacteristic by others because it’s so jarring to his usual demeanour and behaviour.

Likes

 Milk, and any other dairy food he can get. Needs calcium to do his thing.

Plushies and anything soft.

Brawling, though he tries not to admit it because he’s trying to be ‘refined’.

Dislikes

Anything that challenges his brain too much, complex puzzles and mysteries, etc.

He’s a big consumer of respecting women juice (bc it’s princely) so behaviour that falls outside of that irks him.

Being forced to sit and focus on something he’s not interested in.

Skills

Ties perfect bows every single time.

He’s surprisingly graceful and well versed in numerous formal dances.

Knows the entire human skeleton by heart. (is an idiot otherwise.)

Good at cleaning. Never let him cook though.

Devil Fruit - Hone Hone no Mi

His devil fruit allows him to manipulate his bones and form growths on them that pierce the flesh/skin. (Doesn’t cause injury like a stabbing wound would, it’s a bloodless thing.)

This is why he knows the entire human skeleton so well, so he always knows how to return his skeleton to its base form.

Also what he uses to give himself horns - they are grown from his skull.

Can separate these growths from the main skeleton and remove them from his body.

Needs a very high calcium diet to maintain his bone strength/production.

Takes time for larger growths to form, but he’s getting quicker at it.

Applies armament haki to bones to give an extra kick.

Awakened power is manipulating the bones of others, but he only really uses it to instantly fix broken bones (everything else has to heal naturally but it’s half the battle won.)

The big guy is a zombie called Adam, and him and Darrow are pals ~

[twila-star]

Hey guys! Did you miss me?!

I'll admit I have been taking a much needed break from tumblr while I try to work on my unfinished WIPs to post. I have just been feeling uninspired and stuck so I've been working on the way I used to write and enjoy doing it too.

This includes little snippets and one-shots of aus I've thought of and wrote in an inspired frenzy, no editting, just raw, lol.

I don't know how much consistent activity I'll have moving forward but I feel like I'm making good progress with my creative block and hope to show all my new projects I'm working on now!

So here's one of my WIPs, au where there's a 'zombie' infection turning people into chimeras!

------------------------------------------------------

Killua felt the chill roll down his back along the sweat rolling down his tense spine. Killua’s eyebrow twitched as he heard the click of Gon’s gun when he shifted in front of him and Killua reminded himself to be as still as he possibly could as he gazed at the broad span of Gon’s shoulders instead of the people beyond him. Killua could have snorted as he saw the red light reflecting off of Gon’s black leathers.

“Gon, move-” Pokkle started, in a reasonable, soothing tone.

“Shut it.” Gon growled sharply, and Killua had to hand it to Pokkle for keeping his cool in this situation but he’s sure that having a whole guard detail beside him helps with that. Pokkle breaths in a deep breath, Gon trains his gun on the movement smoothly,  trying his best to put reasoning behind his words without escalating. It was why he was voted to be in charge of their little sanctuary group.

“Gon, you see what the indicator says,” Pokkle said, eyes firm but full of sorrow, at this point everyone knew everyone else intimately like family. “He is infected.”

Outside, somewhere above them, a chimera cry screeched like glass, sending a skittering of fear down Killua’s spine, ebbed by the fact he was still safe in their community bunker. For now anyway. The cry was right on time, tragically hilarious as though as reminder of the vicious monster Killua will soon turn into. The glaring danger they’ve all worked hard to protect and hide each other from. If Killua is going to turn into that, the answer on what to do next is obvious.

“No!” Gon’s voice boomed, his frame blocking most of Killua’s center from any shots the 6 guns pointing back in response to Gon’s one might do. Gon’s voice was adament in resolution, but Killua could hear how it shook. What he was scared of now, there must be a landry list Killua could only guess. He wished he could turn Gon around and ease him as he’s done a thousand times before. “Killua won’t turn into that. He won’t.” Gon’s head moved a fraction of an inch, as though he wanted to turn his head and check on Killua himself, but Gon definitely knows better than to take his eyes off who was in front of him. Killua knows them just as well not to make any sudden movements despite still being a sentient human, not a merciless chimera just yet.

“Gon, every instance we have ever had of someone being infected never results in anything other than them becoming a murderous chimera. You remember that last instance with Reina, and what happened afterwards was a disaster. You agreed for the best of everyone’s interest was to never let anything like that happen again.” Pokkle said, and pointedly looked up at their screening device behind them. It had two lights at the top, black marker written over the bulbs, human over the green light and ‘chimera’ over the red light. The one that was lit up now once Killua ran through diagnostics.

Gon’s arm holding the gun shook as though he was fighting against logic and his emotions. Only Killua’s eyes moved as he carefully regarded the back of Gon’s head, and gods he wished he could see what face he was making, figure out what he was thinking with just a glance in his eyes. They were close enough that they could practically read each other’s minds.

“That was different! THIS is different- Killua- it was never suppose to happen to someone I know!” Gon said, his voice raw and heartbreaking with emotion. “It was never suppose to happen to Killua.” Gon said, his voice gravelly low and Killua knew he was crying. Killua only allowed himself a small intake of emotion charged breath, still keeping with his self preservation instinct to be a still and unthreatening statue. He barely had time to let the knowledge of what this meant for himself- slowly losing his mind to a sickness that will cause him to kill anything that moves outside fellow chimeras (no, no killing, not again), Killua’s heart instead was breaking for Gon. Gon would at least still have his mind, left alone to long after Killua while Killua won’t remember a thing about Gon. He will lose his best friend, his everything, to a rampant pandemic creating half animal powerful monsters.

Pokkle’s eyes watered in a snap moment and a tear fell loose at Gon’s insistence. Killua didn’t dare his heart to flutter with something as dangerous as hope at the look in his eyes. Pokkle glanced left and right at the guards training their guns steadily on the two bunker valuable agents, and frowned, shaking his head as thought he only know just saw what was happening.

“G-Gon…” Pokkle’s voice broke and Killua saw Gon’s shoulders drop a fragment. It caused the tight coil in Killua’s chest to unwind a smidge in turn. “What would you have me do? He’s a danger to everyone here if he stays, he’s another dangerous number if we let him go. There is no cure yet. What would you have me do?” Pokkle sounds as stuck and shaken as Gon. Pokkle has his own burdens, his own people he needs to protect- and the one willing to make the most brutal of decisions to do that. Ponzu, Killua wondered if Pokkle was thinking what he would do in Gon’s shoes if it was his life partner Ponzu that triggered the chimera indication.

“Let us go.” Gon said. Us, he said. Not Killua.

“Gon…” Killua dared to speak for the first time since that terrible moment after his diagnosis, a panicked warning in his voice.

“Gon, that’s-” Pokkle started too, his eyes hardening again.

“Let us go!” Gon said again, louder and more determined, and Killua knows that tone. He’s been on the receiving end of Gon’s stubborn mind before. “I’m not leaving Killua and I’m not letting you kill him. We leave the bunker, you can keep everyone safe, and I’ll bring us as far away from here as possible so there won’t be a chance he can attack our usual patrols and scavenging spots.” Gon said, his voice resolute like he held the simple answer to everything. Pokkle’s frown eased but Killua was still beside himself. More so now that Pokkle seemed to be considering it.

“Gon, that’s a death sentence. You go with Killua, then when he changes, he’ll kill you. If you don’t die to the other chimera before or after.” Pokkle argued. If Killua didn’t know they would shoot him on the spot for it, he would jump forward in front of Gon and shake him by the shoulders and tell him there was no snowball;s chance in hell he was letting Gon do this.

“I…” Gon paused and seemed to have trusted he made enough progress with Pokkle to turn his head enough to meet Killua’s burning glare with one of his eyes, then back to the guard detail. “I love Killua. I don’t want this for him. If I need to, if he asks me to, if it comes down to it-” Gon said.

“That’s a lot of if’s Gon.” Killua hissed, livid.

“I’ll put him down myself. But I want to be with him.” Gon said, letting out a shaky breath, his shoulder’s tension finally loosened up. Killua bit his lip, a sharpened fang piercing his skin (was his teeth always this sharp?) and he made eye contact with Pokkle. He put as much pleading as he could into his eyes and shook his head slowly. Silently begging Pokkle to force Gon to let him go. If not just with a bullet through his head, at least to leave the bunker but to keep Gon here. Pokkle has dealt with Gon and Killua often as they are the number one agents to go out for scavenge and come back with the most results with the least possible setbacks or injuries. Pokkle knows Killua doens’t show a lot of emotion often, or even vulnerability, so he hoped Pokkle saw now that he was desperate as he poured his will to make sure tey stick to protocol. Eliminate infecteds. Keep the majority safe.

Even if Killua goes, the bunker still has a good bet with Gon helping to provide.

Pokkle took in his look and then regarded Gon. He closed his eyes, breathing in deep, and Killua knew he was about to make one of those brutal hard decisions.

“Fine. You both go.” Pokkle answered with a set eyes, eyes still glossy.

“What?!” Killua cried out, straightening up more as Gon sagged in relief before straightening up again and nodding, all business like he was given a package to deliver to an ally community. “Pokkle, you can’t be serious! I’m screwed but you have to save Gon! You can’t let him do this!” Killua said, and took his first step forward since he stepped out the machine. The guard’s guns raised again in alarm just as Gon turned and shoved a crooked arm into Killua’s to drag them back out past the machine.

“Gods bless.” Pokkle frowned, sad with a tragic frown as he watched Gon use his superior strength to muscle Killua out. Hah, he didn’t know tragic, if Killua ever got back here and got his hands on Pokkle, he was going to show him tragedy.

“Pokkle! Bring Gon back- He can’t stay out there with me! Gon-!” Killua cried and realized he was talking to the wrong idiot, because that idiot was only doing what this other idiot wants. “/Gon!/” Killua hissed, tripping over his own feet at the pace Gon was dragging him backwards. But it didn’t matter, he might as well have been being carried by Gon. “Gon, stop please, you can’t come with me! I’m sorry I was careless and I got infected but this isn’t your purgatory to deal with! Go back, please, we don’t know how this transmits, you could still be clean. Let me go and tell them you change your mind please..!” Killua cried, trying to find his footing to give Gon some kind of resistance but they were already up the stairs, the light of the door illuminating them. Killua barely recognized his voice as his own, it was pitched high in panic and desperation, and he was started to feel a rising frenzy in his chest to lash out and stop what’s happening, to protect his best friend. “Gon, at least look at me!” Killua’s voice cracked in a screech.

Gon stopped before they exited out to the decrepit streets above and whipped his head to glare at Killua. Killua’s chest pierced with cold  shock as he sucked in a gasp and whatever words he was going to say. Gon’s face was contorted between rage and grief, tears streaks still on his face from when he was presumably crying in front of Pokkle moments before. His lips were pulled back showing gnashed teeth and sucking in gasping breaths, probably from exertion having to haul Killua physically up stairs while he was struggling against him. And Killua could see through everything, something he sees in Gon rarely and yet much too often, an emotion Killua always wants to wipe away from Gon’s face and bolster his strength- it mirrored what Killua felt in this moment. 

Gon was terrified.

“/Don’t/…” Gon hissed, lowering his face closer to Killua, rage burning in those eyes. “Ask me something as impossible as that.” Killua pressed his lips together, his chest burning with so many emotions.

Now he knows why Pokkle let Gon go.

“Gon…” Killua whispered and he noted the wobble to Gon’s lip. Killua frowned, his heart hurt. He slowly shook his head. “I love you too…” He answered Gon’s earlier confession. They’ve never said it to each other before. Gon’s eyes widened, softer more liquid emotion pour into his eyes. Killua only took a breath before they were back on the same wavelength with each other, as always, and their lips were smashed together and their tongues delved into each other’s desperately, selfishly. They don’t know how long Killua has or if this will be the last time they can kiss like this. Killua’s chest roared with emotion and nearly overwhelmed him, but soon the ones that overcame every other emotion was love and affection for Gon. He was ruined and probably obsessed, and Killua realized Gon was probably the same way. Even if Gon stayed, he was as good as a liability, completely useless to the community as he either self destructed or lashed out and isolated himself from everyone after Killua left or died. The brutal decision Pokkle made was cutting down the community efficiency in half letting go both halves of the power agents.

Killua could barely process to feel bad for pokkle and the rest of the community when he just felt overwhelming relief that this terrible curse won’t be spent by himself but he’ll have his best friend to go through it with. They parted with heated, tentative pants. Killua’s etched Gon’s face into his very precious memory as Gon looked at him with those beautiful eyes he fell in love with.

“Together then…” Killua whispered and Gon nodded, trying to hold down a smile. Killua didn’t bother and smiled freely. They headed out as they did a hundred times, Killua watching Gon’s back and Killua at ease knowing Gon’s got his back, and kept to cover to avoid the chimeras.

[alien-hybreed]

For the character ask game: tell me allllll about Betty Ross aka The Harpy aka Red She-Hulk 👀

i love that character and i know you do too, so i’d love to hear your perspective on her 😌

- Di @wineanddineloseyourmind

My first impression

Admittedly I was pretty indifferent to Betty at first, when she was just Betty. Not to say she was a bad character or anything, she just seemed burdened with being the Hulk's love interest and someone to be kidnapped or exploited by the villain of the week.

My impression now

Favorite thing about that character

I love how both the She-Hulks explore anger, rage and how to manage what your feeling. I love how as Red She-Hulk, Betty has a whole other approach to Jen. She likes being Red She-Hulk and wears it like armour. She likes being angry, getting to channel that rage on her terms. She can be impulsive, do things on a whim, she can be true to herself in ways she never was as a human. She's unapologetic about what she is and that carries over into her more monstrous form as Harpy. Also both her Red She-Hulk and Harpy designs are gorgeous, stunning, all the heart eyesss.

Least favorite thing

Just how little content we have with her?

Also every time they try to de-power and reset her.

Favorite line/scene

So much of Immortal Hulk is a monster lover's delight, but I especially enjoy the dialogue between Betty and Bruce/Hulk/Joe in the hotel. So much of that series is Betty finding her boundaries and sticking up for herself. Also canonical monster fucking.

Favorite interaction that character has with another

I'm very easily amused and this always makes me smile.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more

I'd genuinely like to see her beat the ever-loving fuck out of The Leader a few times? She's earned it.

She's a bit of a solo act, but I like seeing her in a team with Dr Strange. It'd be fun to see her have buddy cop dynamic with someone... an Iron Fist to her Luke Cage, as it were.

What's Clint Barton up to these days? Take that for a ride, everyone else has.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

Thats kinda hard to say, I feel like we seldom get to see female-coded characters that get to enjoy being angry whilst having control over their anger, so it's kinda slim pickings.

A headcanon about that character

I think for all her wild, reckless behaviour, Hulk Betty probably finds parties every bit as obnoxious as she did as a human. She's all about having fun, that's just not fun to her. Big red grump isn't asking you to turn the music down, you're being told .

A song that reminds of that character

Mars Needs Women - Rob Zombie

Not particularly deep or meaningful, it just keeps thumping about angry red women.

An unpopular opinion about that character

I think she should be in more stories as she is. Especially ones where she's written well, preferably by someone who isn't a man.

Apparently 'comic fans' really hate that.

Favorite picture

It was how she made her entrance in her solo series and I was absolutely sold on her immediately. Betty Ross hefting a tank like its nothing.

Also the smorgasbord of body horror and creature design that is Immortal Hulk.

[animebw]

Seasonal Reflection: Summer 2023 Anime

I've noticed over my years of seasonal anime watching that summer tends to be the weakest season of the year. For whatever reason, everyone saves their good shows for winter, spring or fall, leaving the middle of the year to limp along with few real standouts. But god almighty, even by those standards, this was a dismal fucking season of anime. Forget just not having many good shows, there were so few shows that even had the potential to be good. Trying to find anything with a fighting chance of turning out even halfway decent felt like trawling for nuggets of half-digested corn in an overflowing septic tank of obviously bad isekai, obviously bad light novel junk, and obviously bad wish-fulfillment rom-coms. And then, just to add insult to injury, basically all the shows that did start out strong ended up tripping over themselves in some way. So not only were there so few anime even worth keeping up with this season, none of them managed to score anything higher than "pretty good." This is, unquestionably, the worst anime season I've sat through since I started watching seasonally. So let's take stock of the few shows I kept up with and pray for better things once the much-more-promising fall season gets under way.

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead: Unfinished/10

Well, isn't this unfortunately ironic. The increasingly exploitative conditions that anime is made under have resulted in so many high-profile shows suffering production delays as their animators crash up against the cruelty of overwork and corporate greed. But there's something particularly disquieting when that fate befalls a show that's all about breaking free from your shitty exploitative job. Zom 100 sets out to extol the joys of living a free life unchained by capitalism's cruel clutches even in the midst of the end of the world, but ends up so ravaged by those very chains that it was unable to finish its run before it ran out of timeslots. And now its last three episodes are left in limbo, the entire production team waiting for a chance to recover and find some way to bring their work to a close. It's a pretty bleak situation that almost makes you believe a zombie apocalypse would actually be preferrable to our current state of affairs. Especially when, uh, this is not a show you want to give the audience extra time to think about. Cause the more you think about it, the more all its aggravating flaws- painfully simplistic moralizing, a sexist streak that refuses to just fucking die- start to sour your good feelings for the rollicking ride it's taking you on. I can only hope the final episodes, whenever they arrive, close it out on a strong enough note to make the ride feel worth it.

Mushoku Tensei Season 2 (1st Cours): 1/10

I have stewed long and hard over how to phrase my thoughts on the second season of Mushoku Tensei. I've agonized for hours on how to express how viscerally, repulsively infuriating this show has become. But ultimately, there's only one thing I can say: Fuck this show and fuck everyone who likes it. Fuck every free ride this show gives Rudeus so he never had to face consequences for his actions. Fuck the hypocritical stabs at "redemption" that only serve to excuse and justify every female character slobbering over an unrepentant pedophile. Fuck the single worst use of slavery I've ever seen in an isekai (Cannot fucking believe I have to give Shield Hero credit for anything). Fuck this lifeless waste of a cast that steadfastly refuses to have a single interesting member. Fuck the misogyny. Fuck the masturbatory woe-is-me manpain. And most of all, fuck every last braindead, media-illiterate mouth-breather who decided to turn this irredeemable garbage into a modern anime classic. The success of Mushoku Tensei is the death of everything I love about this medium, and I will never forgive any of you for bringing us to this point. Go. Fuck. Yourselves.

My Happy Marriage: 4/10

God, I really wanted to like this one more than I did. Isn't it great to see high-profile shoujo anime with impressive productions making a comeback after years of drought? And this is a story about trauma and healing and discovering your self worth and all that good stuff! This should've been right up my alley. And yet, My Happy Marriage just left me frustrated and somewhat offended. There's such a powerful story buried in here somewhere, but thanks to a combination of painfully overwrought melodrama that robs its heroine of far too much agency, a poorly handled supernatural twist on the Cinderella formula that only grows increasingly awkward the more it tries to force the two together, and a condescending undercurrent that seems to think the only cure for years of abuse is embracing a hyper-traditionalist form of wifely duties, that nugget of potential never has the chance to blossom. What an utter disappointment.

Saint Cecilia and Pastor Lawrence: 5/10

Rejoice, folks; we've finally found the mathematical average of the slice-of-life moe romance. Saint Cecilia and Pastor Lawrence is the platonic ideal of the fluffy, disposable rom-com made flesh, pleasant and harmless while watching but leaving no lasting impression once it's done. It's a collection of cute character moments, amusing gags, and occasional stabs at emotion that sometimes tug at your heartstrings a bit, all arranged in their proper places with a likable cast and bouncy animation and just enough energy to stay moderately interesting all the way through. And aside from the somewhat unique setting of a Medieval church as home base for our two awkward lovebirds, none of it lingers in your mind once the episode ends and you find yourself forgetting all the jokes you were just chuckling to. Which may seem like a backhanded complement, but honestly? This is what I would consider the baseline for anime rom-coms. If you're gonna just be fluffy and disposable, this is the absolute minimum you should be aiming for to make me appreciate spending twenty-four minutes every week with you. I can't really recommend it to anyone but the most ravenous rom-com fans, but at least now I have a standard to judge any similar shows that fall short of the mark.

Sugar Apple Fairy Tale Season 2: 5.5/10

What strikes me most about Sugar Apple Fairy Tale now that it's over is just what an ambitious show it turned out to be. It's one thing to write a hackneyed fantasy racism metaphor about fairy slavery into your swoony shoujo romance, it's quite another to actually try and engage honesty with the implications of that idea as the core driving force of your narrative. And whatever else you might say about it, SAFT is really, truly making an effort to explore discrimination and systemic bigotry, tackling it from so many angles over the course of its 24 episodes without shying away from its thorny complexity. How many other stories like this would dedicate an entire subplot to showing how victims of one kind of discrimination can still perpetuate harm on groups even lower on the social totem pole like SAFT does with Brigit? Or explore how toxic systems of control don't magically get better just because a minority is at the helm like Lafalle? It's that kind of ambition that makes it easier to take this show's stumbles in stride, numerous though they might be at times. I'll always appreciate an earnest, messy attempt at making a statement over a safe, line-toeing space filler without the conviction to even try.

Horimiya Piece: 6/10

So this is a weird situation where the first season of Horimiya ended up rushing through the source material in order to adapt the whole story, and now this side-quel is going back and adapting all the content the first season skipped over. Essentially, it's a Horimiya DLC, scattered skits with no real cohesion or progression that just exist to give you more good times with the cast you love. But hey, Horimiya was never really heavy on plot to begin with; it's always been more a collection of moments across the lives of these friends than anything else. So I don't see anything wrong with doing a full season of just slice-of-life shenanigans, since that's basically what the first season became once Hori and Miyamura got together. And if nothing else, I certainly appreciated all the extra time with these lovable goofballs; this show does a better job than most of capturing the sheer, absolute chaos that teenage friend groups can cause amongst each other. Unfortunately, there are two episodes in the back half that truly, utterly suck- episode 9 is completely focused on the creepy pedophile teacher the show thinks is just the most hilarious joke ever, and episode 12 faceplants into romanticizing abusive relationships in a really gross way. So if you're gonna check Horimiya Piece out, do yourself a favor and skip those episodes entirely. Your experience will be better off for it.

Undead Murder Farce: 6.5/10

Pulp is a hard style to define, isn't it? You'd think it would be easy with how influential and popular it's been over the years. Ultimately, though, you just gotta know it when you see it. And Undead Murder Farce is pulpier than a thousand trees being turned into paper at an orange juice factory. It's a Victorian-era serial mystery extravaganza that turns the entirety of 19th-century supernatural adventure literary canon into the backdrop for a rakugo-performing half-oni and a severed immortal head to traipse through solving mysteries as they pursue a larger goal. Over the course of their adventures, they match wits and butt heads with vampires, werewolves, Sherlock Holmes, Phileas Fogg from Around the World in 80 Days, The Phantom of the Opera, Arsene Lupin, Frankenstein's Monster, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. And thanks to the director of Kaguya-sama at the helm, the visual presentation is exactly as gonzo and freewheeling as this brazen OC fanfiction deserves. I enjoyed every second of this goofy-ass show, and I hope we get a second season to see which classic characters our wisecracking immortal detectives rub elbows with next. It's what we deserve.

Jujutsu Kaisen Season 2 (1st Part): 7/10

It's increasingly difficult to pin down my feelings on Jujutsu Kaisen. On the one hand, it regularly delivers some of the coolest, most lavishly animated punch-ups in modern anime. On the other hand, is that enough to cover for the story's incredible lack of focus and constant zig-zagging between different ideas at the drop of a hat? Like, I might need more than ten fingers to count how many times this show just drops in the middle of building up a status quo to shift gears into something entirely different without giving proper closure to what's come before. On the other other hand, though, season 2's backstory arc finally gave us an actual driving force for the story and a strong emotional framework to understand the stakes at play, except then it almost immediately reverses on that idea by revealing one of the critical characters has been dead the whole time and his story's suddenly over just when it was really getting under way, and... eh. Look, I like Jujutsu Kaisen, and its spectacular action and hilarious character interactions are usually enough to help me forgive its overly convoluted plotting (especially this season with its massive upgrade in directorial flourish and experimental animation). But at some point I'm really gonna start wondering if any of this nonsense will ever amount to more than a slapped-together framework to justify the fights.

Fate/Strange Fake Episode 0: 8/10

It's probably not a good sign that the only anime to really inspire me this season was basically just a prologue for a show that's still being made as we speak. But with how barren this season has been, I'll take my victories where I can. And sweet buttery Jesus, am I glad that Strange Fake is getting a full adaptation. After years of having no interest in Fate beyond the core story, one of these endless spinoffs finally manages to grab me hook line and sinker. And all it took was the author of Baccano and Durarara filtering the concept of the Holy Grail War through his particular penchant for sprawling, chaotic ensemble stories full of truly deranged characters slamming the full weight of their personalities against each other for the sheer fun of it. Add a mesmerizing new visual style from a longtime key animator making his directorial debut, and the result is an epic hour-long masterclass introduction that leaves you breathless for more. This is what Fate/Zero's first episode should have been. And sure, it could still go horribly off the rails at some point, but for now, I choose to remain hopeful. May this promise of better things to come prove a welcome omen as we leave this miserable anime season behind.

Shows I Dropped:

The Girl I Like Forgot Her Glasses: Dropped at 2 episodes for extreme GoHands over-animation, and just being a painfully cringey male fantasy rom-com.

Atelier Ryza: Dropped at 1 episode for being boring and generic as fuck. Only worth it for the hilariously crowbarred-in fanservice shots and I can just look those up on their own.

Reign of the Seven Spellblades: Dropped at 2 episodes for some of the most cringe-worthy DeviantArt-tier writing I've ever seen.

The Masterful Cat is Depressed Again Today: Dropped at 2 episodes for just being boring, even though it's way better than GoHands' other monstrosity this season.

Bang Dream It's MyGo: Dropped at 1 episode for just not vibing with it, idk.

[lingy910y]

Gallavich Questionnaire

Thank you @energievie for tagging me to do this! I get too unhinged when talking about these two boys, so warning for very elaborate ramblings 🙏

1. What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

This fic is the prime example of why you should write a fic even if you think nobody’s going to read it, because it’s my favorite gallavich fic even though most people don’t want to read about them getting a divorce. But I do, okay, because a normal break-up doesn’t cut it (especially since we already see those in canon, but post-canon is up to our interpretation) and it’s just more serious. I think they will work out their issues before it gets too far in canon but it just hurts so fucking good. The reason for their divorce is so realistic too, in fact it’s not one but a lot of problems piled on top of each other. They think it’s only going to hurt everyone involved including their children, which is arguably true in context, but they can’t resist each other and it’s this back and forth push. There’s parallels to canon, the writing is so good without being drawn out, and there’s so much nuance, emotion, and subtly hinting at something beneath the surface. The pining is just delicious because it’s not “I don’t know if you feel this way about me” or “I’m not allowed to be with you,” it’s “I want to be with you so badly but I’m trying to resist that because it’s going to hurt everyone.” Then the trying so hard not to care because “we’re over, but you’re in trouble and I’m trying to move on and I’m never going to love someone else like I love you” 😭😭😭 anyway I actually had to stop myself from rereading too often for comfort because it was too much LOL

the author said they were going to update it January of this year so I’ll be patiently waiting 😔

3. What's a headcanon you can't stop thinking about?

You know that post abt how when you're sleepy you imagine your favs sleepy? I keep imagining Ian wrapping their comforter around Mickey like a cocoon when he has a nightmare and cuddling him, it's cute

4. What's a fanart you love looking at?

The first image of this by @gallavichonly JUST GETS ME SO FERAL. THEIR FUCKING EXPRESSIONS.

5. What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

I want to draw a character concept art sheet for their outfits/weapons/mechanics for kinda a zombie apocalypse AU. Designing that sounds fun but I need to research more

6. What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

The jealousy trope, especially jealous Mickey. I guess in other fandoms, people write jealousy in a really possessive, cringy way. Not saying gallavich aren't possessive as fuck but at least they earned it, you know? There's too many ships where one of them is breathing down the other person's love interest's neck but they don't even know you exist, like calm down 😭 Meanwhile gallavich tease and try to get each other to admit it first, and Mickey is biting his tongue trying not to say anything and then "Fucking cheat on me, Ian?!", "Whatcha doin' here then?" AND THEIR EXPRESSIONS WHEN THEY EACH SAY "WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW" ARUGHHHHHH I'M SO GONE

7. What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of?

Touched on this earlier but basically the more tragic/gritty ones—a huge argument, break-ups, unrequited love, falling out of love, hanahaki, amnesia, MCD...

10. What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

Eh I think we've dissected the shit out of every scene lmao, but probably their s4 reunion? The lap dance?

11. What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

Obviously "I'll take care of you. / It's rotten work. / Not to me. Not if it's you."

12. What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

I want Ian to go back to being an EMT no matter what :( but their current security gig fits Mickey a lot. Ian also gets really into gardening, he'll be so good to the point where he'll be known in the neighborhood. And Mickey has a little hobby for drawing. They'll adopt a pitbull because Mickey was actually enthusiastic about that idea, which meets Ian halfway by still giving him something to take care of. Now for the elephant in the room: I think it's okay if Mickey never wants a kid, and there's a lot of issues ingrained in them that unless they go to therapy for a couple of years, hinder them from becoming perfect parents tbh. Now I'm not saying they'll be bad, but will their best be enough? Will they be content? Idk, I don't have any experience and I see them with more issues/flaws than the majority of the fandom? Honestly I just don't see that future for them (but I do enjoy kid AUs because who doesn't.) They'll stay on the West Side because I want them to get out but not stray too far from their family. I also can't think about them getting old or I'll sob, but I wrote a fic about how they'll retire and just live comfortably because it's what they deserve, and they'll take tons of vacations when they save up enough money.

oh my god that was way too much but in my defense i rarely get to rant abt them ok!! anyway now that I went through the whole spectrum of emotions, i'm tagging @michellemisfit, @lupeloto, @jademickian & @softmick 🚶‍♀️

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Ok, giving you an update as I finish up Season 3!

Claiming Liv for BPD rep. With the mood and Personality swings (+ related interpersonal problems) I feel very seen :)

This might me just my Aro vision making it hard to see, but I don’t get MajorxLiv. Like with all the other pairs, there’s a path there or they shared interests and worked their way closer. But with these two we’re just told that they are meant for each other because ??? , but everytime they are together it’s just…why?

Liv has had better chemistry with every single one of her dead Boyfriends and she deserves better

Watching Blaine go from the main villain to that annoying bastard you can’t get rid of makes me so proud! I love characters like that! He’s the best, I wish him to never achieve his dreams! :D

On that note, the series has consistently fun villains. Good Job!

Big fan of the Meal montages that started with Season 2. And with how the brains keep their colour and consistency unless turned into mush. As brains are known to be x)

Fillmore-Graves has taught me that my armor for puns is still sore

I just like Jimmy, I’m glad he keeps showing up. He hates working with the Morgue Crew so much and it is so funny!

Fave episodes: “Astroburger” “Fifty Shades of Grey Matter” “Eternal Sunshine of the Caffeinated Mind” “Zombie Knows Best” “Looking for Mr. Goodbrain 1+2”

4 more days and 2 Season to go!

*braces for the LARP Episode*

!! You weren’t lying when you said you were speed-running! I was worried you might not be able to make it through the show before the end of June but you’re making headway!

- Oh, I love that (re: Liv BPD rep) – I never thought about it before but that is really interesting to explore! Tbh I often think of the zombism as a metaphor, e.g. Liv’s early zombism as a parallel to the PTSD symptoms that someone would experience after the boat party. And some specific brains having her adopt different neuro-types (e.g. the “hot mess brain” really struck a chord with me as someone with ADHD) – and the thing is, BPD would also make a lot of sense, especially with the age of onset often being in someone's 20s. Plus, it makes me even think in literal terms and not just metaphorical ones – Liv always seems to be more strongly affected by the brains than most other zombies on the show and I think it would have been interesting to explore how zombism and related brain-effects would interact with different mental health conditions and neurotypes. (The thing is, I have at least the working theory that the underlying personality as well as the willingness to engage with the new personality affects how and how strongly zombies are affected. A big example for me is Liv having a vision the very moment she ate one of Lowell's orphan brains while he could surpress it. Or in Conspiracy Weary, when Liv, Blaine and Don E are on the same brain and Liv does stuff like putting gum on her friends' webcams and wants to protect them, Don E likes to talk about celebrities (we see him do that on other occasions like with Christina Ricci or Gwyneth Paltrow) and Blaine is very opinionated on Tupac and the symbolism of Makaveli (music being a big deal to him)

-- The thing is, I think MajorxLiv might just be one of the most contentious topics in the fandom. I know people who really love them together and the tragedy and drama and the doomed-lover-ness of it all and I know others argue more from the point that such a major (ha!) point of the show is deconstructing the seemingly perfect life Liv had at the beginning of the show and he realisation that it wasn’t perfect at all and that she mostly lived for the expectations of others and didn't really have anything that mattered to her. And that part of that should have been realising that Major and her weren’t meant to be married-two-kids-picket fence and that they should have just embraced being friends and that it defeats the narrative. I also think it might be because they’re one of the only couples we don’t see originally falling in love – with Peyton and Ravi and Clive and Dale we see what attracted them to each other in the first place and watch their relationships develop (though I must say that I have more fun with Clive/Dale than with Peyton/Ravi but that’s no hate on the latter, I just enjoy the dynamic between Clive and Dale more). But Liv and Major were a thing from the beginning and you can tell that the writers very much prioritised them over other relationships these two had (rip Nathalie especially, you deserved so much better) which I alo think leads to some frustration. Personally, I don't really feel that strongly about it either way but I wish there were some aspects that they had gotten into more. Also, I wish they had prioritised Liv dealing with the deaths of so many of her boyfriends more?? Dude, the trauma of that. The guilt!

--- REAL. It goes from Blaine being a child-butchering monster to Blaine and Don E being the Pinky and the Brain of zombism (and also having the main-gang on speed dial). I like that they didn’t even go the route of redeeming Blaine or making him less evil. He actually continues to do things just as evil (and worse) than what he did in season 1. But even the morgue gang doesn’t really prioritise stopping or killing him anymore. I bet they run into each other in supermarkets or at the bank sometimes lmao.

I think it’s partially because he’s the long-distance runner of iZombie villains – most of the other baddies contain their evil to one season, maybe one-and-a-half. So it’s much easier to keep track of where they wronged you. With Blaine, the list is so long, it’s really hard to keep track of it all. Plus, a lot of his schemes don’t even directly affect the gang or they never learn about them. The show just gives like…a good amount of screen-times to tuning in to Shady Plots or the Scratching Post to show us what stupid schemes these two clowns are up to. (Also, I like that David Anders said that Blaine actually really likes the morgue squad and spending time with them. Those are his best friends who hate him <3)

----I also kind of dig that the meal montages really only started happening with season 2. Because early on, Liv’s zombie meals being more depressing (the instant noodles she does in the pilot for example) makes a lot of sense because she still feels defeated and lost being a zombie. But later on, she starts having fun with it! And I think it goes well with stuff like her refusing to tan or dye or putting on a scratchy wig – she really starts owning being a zombie and the fun meals are part of it!! I love that for her!

----- iZombie drinking game: Always taking a sip when there’s a silly pun somewhere. (doctors do not recommend this)

------- They put so much energy and thought and screen-time into their non-primary cast! Jimmy! Vampire Steve! Enzo! Johnny Frost! They’re just like: “here’s another perplexing little guy. We will not elaborate.”

--------- These are all fun! I always find it kind of hard to say which one of my favourite episodes are but I also really like The Whopper for all the drama happening there and Conspiracy Weary – Oh, and in season 4 you have Brainless in Seattle and Goon Struck coming up which I also really love (you might already be there, even. Not to spoil but: Major and Don E on a roadtrip! That was fun.). And in season 5 The Scratchmaker and the noir episode are really fun!

[loftylockjaw]

TIMING: After ‘Firebug’ but before ‘Between a rock & a hard place’ LOCATION: 12 Mudpuppy Point PARTIES: Wyatt (@loftylockjaw) & Caleb (@dirtwatchman) SUMMARY: Dinner date night. Caleb is awkward until he finds his stride in a bet Wyatt encourages that he can't possibly lose. It's cute. Idk what else to tell you.

—

Pride was a weird feeling, Caleb decided, but it was prominent as he stepped up to the front door of Wyatt's place. Why? Well, he'd showed up to his first date in over five years and had yet to text and cancel on the chef. There was still time, he could tuck and run at any second, but there was something about Wyatt that kept his feet planted on the man's doorstep. The charm had a way of allowing some sort of calm to wash over Caleb, another feeling that he enjoyed more than his usual doom and gloom that took over on every given occasion, and he for once wasn't going to let his usual anxiety get in the way. Now if he could just bring himself to knock.

It wasn't that he didn't enjoy the short time he'd had with Wyatt that night at Hallow's Eats because he very much had. The hesitation came when Caleb thought about what he was, what Wyatt could possibly have to face down the line if things went well that night and Caleb became attached. It was why he hadn't had a date in so long, afraid to go through the motions only for both parties to get hurt in the end, one possibly more than the other. Could a zombie even have a relationship? It was a question that had gone unanswered for so long but Caleb was tired of not giving it a shot. 

Before he could change his mind, he raised a hand and rang the bell, those freaking butterflies starting to make another appearance. That was one thing about being dead, he still couldn't stop nerves from overtaking him. He should have brought something with him, some sort of wine or dessert or something and yet he was empty handed and not sure what to do with himself. Now the regret was starting to kick in-

The door opened, Caleb looking like a deer caught in headlights. ”Uh...hey. I forgot to bring something.“ 

—

There were few things in life that Wyatt enjoyed more than courtship. Cooking and fighting were close seconds, of course, but ever since he'd known what it was you were supposed to do in the closet with your friend for 'seven minutes in heaven', he'd been downright smitten. And it wasn't just the physical aspect... though admittedly, it did sometimes boil down to that. More often, though, the Cajun preferred to play hard to get. He preferred to make the people that interested him and who were interested in him work a little for their prize, and having to work for it himself was like a fun little challenge. People were fascinating, complex, and infinitely different. No one tactic would do, and finding what did work for any given individual was, indeed, his favorite hobby. 

He was 33, and had he ever seriously dated anyone? Sort of, though perhaps the seriousness of said relationships had been a bit... one-sided. He couldn't help it, he had a habit of seeing something he liked and going after it without considering how it might affect anyone else. Some days he wondered what it might be like to give up the chase, but always came back around to the same conclusion: to keep a man like Wyatt on his toes enough to want to stay could very well be too exhausting for most people. So for now, he played the field, had fun, and waited to see if anything would stick. 

Caleb. A cute regular at the restaurant, lover of spicy foods, and awkward as sin. Wyatt always liked the quiet ones—not only did they give him more license to ramble on about things he found interesting, but they were great listeners. Caleb was still 'to be determined', of course—their interaction had been brief. Illuminating, but brief. Now, though, he had the man at his disposal for an entire evening, and he intended to get to the bottom of what sort of a person Caleb Ellsworth was.

Beaming as he opened the door, the lamia gave a hearty laugh. “Ah, you brought yourself, n' that's mighty plenty in my book! Come in, come in, make yourself at home.” The door was pulled wide as he moved out of the way and gestured for Caleb to enter. He reached for the other's shoulders, helping him slip out of his jacket. “Here, lemme get that—'' Hanging it on the wall peg by the front door, Wyatt gestured at the spot for shoes, and while Caleb slipped out of them, asked “You want anythin' to drink? I mix a mean cocktail.”

—

Despite the nerves, he felt his lips pull up into a sheepish smile at the chef’s words, aware that he still should have brought something with him but grateful that he didn’t have to stress too much about it. He should have known. Caleb could already tell that Wyatt was an easy going person which could be a good thing given how neurotic the zombie could be. If there was a next time he’d have to cook for Wyatt to try and make up for it but there was no point in worrying about that now. He was inside, door closed, with Wyatt helping take his jacket and asking about drinks before the idea had even come to mind. 

“Guess it depends on the cocktail. I don’t usually drink dark liquors.” Trying not to show any unease, he took his time slipping his shoes off as he answered. Bourbon, whiskey, scotch, it's everything that reminded him of times that he didn’t want to think about, especially while out with someone. He didn’t drink much these days but when he did Caleb tried to stay away from anything like that and he didn’t much want to get into the reasons behind it so he made sure to fix his face before looking around the room.

“This place is so nice. Very secluded, I almost got lost.” That could also come down to poor sense of direction but it definitely seemed like the other enjoyed his privacy, not that he could blame him. He was still scanning the place when something caught his eye. “I didn’t realize you were a hunter?” It hadn’t been meant as a question and yet that was how it came out, Caleb’s eyes trailing over some of the animal bones as he looked into one of the rooms, the pelts drawing his attention next. What exactly had Wyatt meant by deviating from the menu at the restaurant? He looked back at him, eyes alight with curiosity as his smile broadened. “Dare I ask what you’re feeding me tonight?”

—

“No dark liquors, got it,” Wyatt repeated back with a nod. “Well, I’ve got plenty of other things—clear liquors, wines, ciders… and if you’re not feelin’ alcohol, plenty of ingredients for an equally kickass mocktail!” Giving Caleb a moment or two to think about it, Wyatt watched the way he looked around and then back to his host, posing a couple questions. The lamia grinned, giving a shrug. “You’ll find out soon enough. As for the huntin’, well yes, I like to get things as… fresh as I can, when I can. As you can see, no parts go unused…! This is a decade n’ a half of huntin’, though, so don’t think I’m out there decimatin’ the local species,” he chuckled. The creatures in his tanks and terrariums were another story, however, and as the pair moved farther into the home, those contained animals became more evident. Some frogs here, a snake there, and an aquarium with some fish varieties that simply couldn’t be found around these parts. 

“Okay, so for the menu tonight, we’ve got a couple appetizers and a main course, and I’ve prepped somethin’ for dessert.” He gestured for Caleb to take a seat on one of the stools at the island countertop that faced into the kitchen, which would allow them to converse while the chef finished up each course and served it to his company. “First… camarones a la diabla! I made the sauce with dried guajillo and arbol chiles, which these shrimp have been marinatin’ in for a bit—” Explaining as he went (a habit he could never truly kick), Wyatt plated the reddened shrimps on two small plates, following with a small spoonful of spanish rice. He reached over the counter to set one in front of Caleb, along with some silverware, and gave him a warm smile. “Any thoughts on that drink yet, firebug?”

—

For a split second, Caleb was ready to tell Wyatt to make something with a kick to it but he figured that would have been an overload to the meal. The whole reason the man had invited him was because of his palate, it would have been considered even more strange to want spice in his drink so he decided to take him up on the offer to think about it. “If it weren’t for that accent I would say that sounds ominous.” The surprise of it all only served to make Caleb more curious though and with such a dull sense of smell it wasn’t like he had any guesses at the moment. “Oh, I had no fears of that.” If the local species was being decimated it most likely wasn’t Wyatt doing it anyway. “I’m not against hunting. I mean, I’m not going out there myself but I figure it’s just the food chain at work, right?”

As much as he was trying to concentrate on his date, the zombie kept getting distracted by the contents of the man’s home. He found himself squatting in front of a terrarium with some sort of snake in it, fascinated by the movements and the coloring of its body. It wasn’t until Wyatt was disappearing into the kitchen that Caleb realized he should have been keeping up and he quickly scurried after him just in time to hear him start explaining the first course.

A first course that metaphorically had his mouth watering. Suddenly, the feeling of being spoiled was overtaking him and as Wyatt set the plate next to him he kept his eyes on the man. This was different. Never in his life had he sat back and did nothing as someone else did everything for him and he wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. “Wyatt, is there…can I do anything to help you out or…” Yes, the man had asked him there so he could host but he really didn’t enjoy feeling useless. It was unsettling. Caleb did glance at the plate though, ready to dig in with how incredible it looked. “Actually, why don’t I make you a drink? Let me surprise you, since I’m getting so many surprises of my own.”

—

Gentle music played softly in the background, filling whatever moments of silence might’ve passed between them, but not overpowering their own voices as they spoke to one another. It served as a comforting backdrop, creating an environment much different from the loud, busy kitchen he was used to at work. It was more relaxed, more intimate, and a setting that brought the lamia true joy. Cooking for others was always more rewarding than cooking just for himself, especially when it was one on one like this. 

The offer for help was sweet, but of course not needed. Still, Wyatt’s smile brightened when Caleb offered to make the drinks, and he shook his head and lifted his hands in an acquiescent manner, letting a breathy chuckle slip free. “All right, boss, she’s all yours,” he agreed, flipping the hand towel in his right hand over his shoulder to thumb at one of the cabinets behind him. There was a shelf lined with bottles of liquor, and the glass-door cabinet beside it contained the various bitters and accoutrement for cocktail-mixing. “Got tonics, juices as mentioned, n’ a couple syrups in the fridge, if you like,” he went on to explain, “n’ some citrus in the basket there beneath the shelf. Knock yourself out.” 

While his companion for the evening was busy mixing their drinks, Wyatt excused himself to the patio for a moment to check on the second appetizer that was out on the charcoal grill, inspecting the banana leaves before turning them over one at a time. Nearly there.

Returning inside, the chef was met with a glass of Caleb’s concoction. He breathed out a thank you as he took it before insisting that Caleb sit and enjoy the food that was ready for them both, perching on the stool beside him. First came a taste of the shrimp to make sure it was up to his own standard (not that he hadn’t sampled the sauce during its creation, but still), and he glanced over at Caleb to watch him try it. Next was the drink, which was delicious. Trying to pick out all the flavors of the ingredients, Wyatt gave him a wide grin. “Ooh, what’s in this? I love it.”

—

Another strange feeling. The idea of taking over someone else’s liquor cabinet while they weren’t even in the room had him pausing for a split second but…well, he had said to make himself at home. Searching the cabinets for what he needed, Caleb made quick work of the drinks, the year or so he’d spent bartending on the side coming back to him easily. “So many side hustles…too much time.” He made sure everything was put back where he got it from and was ready right as Wyatt walked back into the door. 

After they were both settled in with Caleb watching Wyatt happily dig into his own meal, he took his own bite, having to pause when the flavor started to hit him. The food at the restaurant had always been seasoned so well, especially with his requests to spice it up further, but Caleb could swear that he could taste more than just the ‘hot’ this dish was doused in. It could have been chalked up to the rare jovial state that he was in or Wyatt really had intended to pack a punch with this but whatever it was Caleb would have been content with eating it forever. 

“Uh, gin, vodka, and lillet blanc. I also splashed a little lime juice in there. Simple martini type deal but I heard it pairs well with incredible food…which is what this is, by the way. Where did you learn to cook like this?” As if the pure bliss on his face wasn’t enough to show Wyatt that he wasn’t just being polite, Caleb went in for more. “And why isn’t this served at the restaurant?”

—

“Ahh, feelin’ a little James Bond?” Wyatt teased good-naturedly, holding his glass up for a quick clink together. “Mon maman,” came his answer as he lifted the glass to his lips for a second taste. “She has a restaurant back home. Little hole in the wall kinda place.” And he should be there with her, helping elevate it in all the ways he knew how. But he wasn’t, he was here, hiding from her in shame, sending a monthly check as if that would fix things. 

The following questions was a welcome from the road his mind tried to travel down at her mention. 

“Ah, well, I don’t own the place, so my opinion in regards to the menu is, ah… taken into consideration, if you catch my meanin’,” the lamia explained with a light chuckle. “But I could always try, if you like it that much! Figure the owner’s gonna take into account our demographic… which might not be as adventurous as yourself.” He gave Caleb a wink, tucking into the rest of the appetizer and gulping down more of the cocktail before excusing himself to retrieve their next plate. 

Carrying the folded banana leaves in from the open air grill outside, Wyatt got them fresh plates and laid out one on each, carefully unrolling them to reveal the smoked fish cake inside. “This is called otak-otak, it was supposedly first made by Chinese immigrants in Singapore, if I remember right. It’s a blend of rempah, coconut milk, and mackerel, but I went ahead n’ kicked up the intensity of that rempah for you.” Passing Caleb the new dish and clearing away the other ones that’d been finished, the chef took a moment to check on his main dish, lifting the lid on the large pan that sat on the stove to keep warm, flooding the kitchen with the unmistakable smell of curry—hot curry. Flicking off the burner, Wyatt rejoined his company to sample the second appetizer, happy to find that it was sufficiently spicy while still elegantly carrying the smoky flavor from the charcoal fire.

“I made enough of everythin’ for you to take some home, if you want,” the lamia offered, relishing the way the spicy food was warming him from the inside out—his palate still hadn't encountered anything that decades of eating melt-your-face-off spicy foods couldn’t handle… but the curry was still to come.

“So you know what I do for a livin’... can I ask what it is you spend your hours on?”

—

“Sadly, I don’t think I could ever be as cool as him….but I can try.” After tapping his glass to Wyatt’s, Caleb brought it to his lips to take a sip that he couldn’t taste, listening to the other’s explanation. “Well, if she taught you then I’m sure it’s amazing. The hole in the wall places are usually the best ones. They’re like hidden gems away from all the tourists, quietly superb, never having to wait too long for a table.” 

God, he hadn’t smiled this much in so long. If Wyatt’s whole personality wasn’t enough, throw in him being able to cook and the little gestures that would definitely have had him flushed once upon a time. It was bittersweet, Caleb glad that all of his cards weren’t showing at once but also missing the heat that would consume his body in those moments. He thought he’d always be glad to be rid of the betrayal his face once provided but a longing for it filled him now and again. With Wyatt, he sometimes thought he could feel it again. 

Especially when the man had gone through so much trouble for him. He almost felt bad for how much food Wyatt had cooked that night, knowing that no matter how spicy the dishes it would never be enough to truly satisfy him. As the Otak-Otak was placed in front of him, he shook his head at how…incredibly he was being treated that night, still lost as to why anyone would go to so much trouble. “I could make requests to your boss. Maybe he would take them more seriously coming from a patron. I just think some of this is too good to not be served to others….besides, I think there are more adventurous people out there than you could guess.” Caleb had a whole list of them that he served through his side job.

Just as he’d taken a bite of the second amazing dish of the night, the smell of the main course hit him, turning his head towards the kitchen. “You’re spoiling me, you know that right? I’m going to start expecting this on future dates and I don’t think that’s fair to those. If I want, like that’s even a question.” 

It wasn’t like he’d thought he could get through a whole date without talking about himself but he’d been dreading this part since he’d agreed to tonight. Caleb let the question linger even if it wasn’t that hard to answer, pulling his attention back to the plate in front of him. “I’m a groundskeeper for Nichol’s funeral home. That’s my main job anyway. I also do a lot of odd jobs around town, a lot of maintenance work…” A few brains sold on the side. The odd murder here and there. “Normal side hustles, I guess. Just trying to make it through.”

—

Well he was certainly right about Wyatt’s mother—her cooking probably outclassed even his own. He might have had better presentation, but her dishes were timeless. He confirmed this with a nod and a smile, wary of getting too deep into the topic, and thankful once it had moved on. 

“Hmm, you think? Well, couldn’t hurt to give it a shot,” he mused, offering Caleb a shrug. As the other accused Wyatt of spoiling him, the chef shook his head and laughed. “It’s no trouble, mon chéri. I like cooking for people, and you presented me with a challenge! It was fun for me. Is… fun for me. As for future dates…” It had been dropped so casually, Wyatt couldn’t even be sure if the wallflower had realized he’d said it, “I promise I can dial it back, eh? Had to make a good first impression. Or… second, if you count the night at the restaurant.” 

Groundskeeper for a funeral home, huh? He wasn’t sure exactly what that job entailed, but the odd jobs, the side hustles… that he was familiar with. “I hear you. It can be fuckin’ tough out there, eh? Well, monsieur maintenance man… guess I know who to call next time I need a hand around the place.” He winked at Caleb and flashed a mischievous grin, the equally hilarious and stupid scenario of paying with something other than cash flashing through his mind. Heh. 

Now it was time for the main course. The big Kahuna, as it were. Spiciest chili in the world, they said. Well, as Wyatt dipped the tip of a spoon into the pan to taste test it, he almost immediately barked out a laugh and squinted his eyes shut. “God damn that’s hot,” he cackled, setting the soup spoon in the sink to fetch a small ladle to dish the curry out over its bed of rice on each plate. “Firebug, if this doesn’t do it to you, I dunno what will!” 

—

“If it’s something you want to venture into, I’d be happy to campaign for it. What’s something you always wanted to serve there?” He was curious for the answer and if anything that had been served tonight would be included. These dishes weren’t common, no, but he hadn’t thought they warranted no’s from a restaurant, especially one that was so close to the ocean so he wondered if there was something else that the chef would want to fight for. 

Caleb shook his head, ready to explain why this was a little difficult for him, until he realized what he’d said before. “Oh..I didn’t…” That hadn’t been what he’d meant by that statement but either way he tried to explain it would have made things worse and now he was scrambling for something. “I just meant, you know, in general. Not that I don’t want…or that future…” It was time to stop talking. He looked down at his plate to take another bite of the meal and try to let this pass naturally without addressing it further. He should have just kept his mouth shut in the first place. 

“It can be.” Caleb looked around the kitchen, hoping the moment had passed as he moved on. “I will happily be on call twenty-four seven…just for you though. I don’t offer that service to many.” He usually wasn’t as flirty either. Wyatt’s confidence seemed to be rubbing off on him a little even after the little mishaps. 

So far, the spice had barely done anything to him. It tasted great, what he could taste anyway, but Wyatt’s reaction to the dish had him curious as to whether this would be enough to do something. Or if he should fake it or not. The other seemed to be impressed by the amount of heat that Caleb could handle so he didn’t really want to fake it lest that stops. Standing to join him next to the pan, he looked down at it and then back at his date. “I’ll take that challenge. Kind of feeling more adventurous here….want to put a wager on it?”

—

Wyatt huffed out a laugh, shaking his head as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Gosh, I dunno,” he stalled, only trying for a moment to pluck an answer out of the air before settling on something else entirely and giving Caleb a meek smile. “If… if I’m honest, I’ve been kickin’ around the idea of openin’ my own restaurant,” he explained, speaking in a quiet voice like his boss might hear otherwise. “Just need the capital for a brick n’ mortar, y’know? Workin’ on it…” If nothing else, the night fights at the Pit were helping fund this dream. “The only other thing holdin’ me up is… tryin’ to decide if I wanna do it here. I’m not uh, not sure how well the cold n’ I are gonna get along, bein’ from Louisiana n’ all,” the lamia added with a shrug.

God, he was cute when he was backpedaling. Wyatt reached out, placing a gentle hand on Caleb’s shoulder to encourage him to look up and meet his gaze. “I’m just givin’ you a hard time,” he assured the other, squeezing his shoulder before relaxing again, brows rising at the ‘round the clock’ remark. “Just for me? Well damn, don’t I just feel like the belle of the ball!” 

As he was plating their curry, Caleb joined him in front of the stove and the chef listened carefully to what he was saying, not hiding the delight that bloomed on his sharp features. “Sure thing, sweetheart. What you wanna wager?” He spoke in a low, soft tone, fiddling idly with the ladle in one hand while the other wandered to the collar of his date’s shirt, brushing away a fuzz that didn’t exist just as an excuse to touch him. “Mine’s on you breakin’ into tears after a spoonful of this. What do I get if I win?”

—

It was the first time Caleb had noticed Wyatt lose a fraction of that confidence he wore like armor and if the zombie were being honest with himself he sort of adored it. The confidence was nice, it made him giddy at times, but this seemed…more personal than anything. A soft smile was sent the other’s way, hopefully a little encouragement for Wyatt to keep going, and only faded a little when the last confession was made; though he was quick to recover. “I think anyone would be lucky to dine at your own place. I’m really glad you’re working towards the goal. As someone who eats your food often, you definitely deserve it.” He hesitated to continue, not sure if he should offer up his thoughts since Wyatt wasn’t sure if he wanted to stick around. Ultimately, he decided to at least give the option. “If you do decide on staying around here, I know a landlord who owns a few buildings in town. Might be able to help you out and introduce you.”

He lifted his head more, finally meeting Wyatt’s gaze as a hand was placed on his shoulder. It was comforting, yes, to hear that this man hadn’t thought much of the comment Caleb had made but he still felt like he owed an explanation. “I just don’t want you to think I’m…being presumptuous or something. I do like you, though, if you couldn’t tell. The round the clock service is exhibit A.” Even if he was well aware that he wouldn’t have minded anyone calling him at three am for a leaky faucet or something. Wyatt didn’t have to know that.

His eyes went to follow Wyatt’s hand, the man’s touch once again boosting his own confidence while the chef gave his terms. Tears, that wasn’t going to happen but he could let his date dream a little. Taking a step closer, Caleb gave a cocky grin, for once in his life knowing that the arrogance was well deserved. “If there are tears, this date ends however you want it to.” The zombie stood there for a moment, letting that sink in, before he turned toward the stove as if he hadn’t just teased the hell out of someone. “What do I get if I win?”

—

The reaction to his admission that he didn’t know if settling down here was in the cards for him did not go unnoticed, and Wyatt felt a little bad for not having thought that statement through a little more. Biting the inside of his cheek for a moment as he nodded along with Caleb’s offer, he quickly piped up afterward. “Or hey! Maybe just a food truck. Then I could be wherever I wanna be… and if it’s ‘round here, well, all the better for…” He smiled, and it lacked all cockiness and bravado. “... us.” Of course Caleb liked him, he might as well have had a neon sign on his back saying as much. It was a thoughtful sentiment, though, and was met with a good-natured wink. “Don’t think I won’t be makin’ good use on that offer,” he warned the other with a smirk.

Honestly? He was a little shocked by Caleb’s response as they stood there, but in a good way. It promised nice things, and Wyatt quite liked nice things. He feigned surprise at the other’s assuredness that he was going to win this bet, while the terms of said bet rolled around in his mind. However he wanted, huh? He had a few ideas… Caleb turned back to the stove and Wyatt almost laughed, bewildered to have been the one having the moves put on him. He didn’t let it slide that easy, though, snaking an arm around his company’s waist, pulling him back. “Whatever you want,” he offered, craning his neck a bit to catch the other’s gaze as he was manually made to face him again. “Tonight… tomorrow… next week… no expiration.” His gaze danced from one of Caleb’s eyes to the next for a moment before falling to his lips, and he silently leaned in to catch them with his own, lifting a hand to brace it against the side of Caleb’s head. 

He was cold. Wyatt would have to warm him up.

[badluckinawasteland]

november 24, 2021 (or, ive taken two hundred thirty nine steps on a path i never knew existed) nothing interesting happens on days like today, when i feel so low i could draw a map of hell and instead i draw maps of my own grief and guilt and earthquakes will never hit me as hard as finding out you were gone. earthquakes dont change my eating drinking living habits, and aftershocks dont reverberate in every word i say. they just shake candy wrappers from the trash and crack plaster. i miss you i know i miss you. every breath i take i miss you if i had some of your hair i would have made a keychain, victorian mourning style. instead i wore the same shirt and cried on and blew my nose on it and threw up on it i guess hoping in my tear-stained beer-strained state that you would come back and call me a slob and get mad at me for destroying a teeshirt from your favorite band because anger would have hurt less than absence and some kind of worse than misery abounds when i can't think of anything but you, everything reminds me of you, i keep seeing things that you would have loved and laughed at and cried about. there's no escaping ghosts and every town has more than its fair share of ghosts and zombies that waking and walking all while being so empty and i am a small town in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. i cant get away from your memory like a 15-year-old kid in the midwest cant get away from home. somedays i feel like a turtle in mud and fast-drying cement, stuck and dirty and dying. what am i doing here without you how far away from me are you how close can i get to you? i feel like we're not far apart but i know we are i know we are we are too far for me to text you for me to call you for me to talk to you or sit in silence together. you cant even breathe. you cant even fucking breathe

[pollyperks]

more good omens musings

i did not enjoy season 2 as much as season 1 (this isn't just a list of complaints though i promise). that opinion is coming right off the heels of watching s1 immediately followed by s2 so i think i can list the main reasons:

the witchfinder army, anathema, the them, and side characters like the chattering nuns and hastur and ligur made the plot feel far more fleshed out, seeing as all the characters were new to us and generally made the world bigger.

s2 focuses basically entirely on 6 (maybe 7 if you count muriel) characters, so crowley, aziraphale, jim/gabriel, nina, maggie, and shax with various side characters—i really can't count beezelbub cuz that love story came out of left wing—but besides nina and maggie (and muriel sorta) there was no one who was like...a breath of fresh air. new. there were angels. and there were demons. they're predictable, even if some of them look the same. even shax is sorta boring due to being...a demon that we can predict will act like a demon. at least the witchfinder army was a freakin disaster and the chattering nuns were fantastically incompetent and all the different players of s1 could be hard to predict, especially when they converged.

so s2 either had to introduce as many new characters that were interesting to watch, or do a deep dive into the existing characters to make THEM simply more interesting. which they did....for 2 of them and we all know which 2.

i mean obviously the husbands are the main focus of both seasons, but to have the story constrict so completely to so few characters made things sort of boring when it came to the actual overarching plot of 'gabriel has amnesia and basically every other problem stems from there'

so the stakes in s1 were bigger. that's just fact. it's the end of the world vs an angel with amnesia that aziraphale takes in like a wet kitten and now they need some lesbians to fall in love bc aziraphale is a terrible liar

it was a bit odd they couldn't find the same actors to come back? it threw me off. like where was hastur? sandalphon? i don't like their characters but i missed their presence. liked seeing some of the actors come back in different roles though.

but yeah. the stakes being...practically nonexistent compared to s1 was really highlighted by the amount of flashbacks. there wasn't enough material to keep us rooted in the present, so we were constantly going backwards in time (some of them worked for me, others were nazi zombies) to fill up empty space.

some of the tributes/references were a bit too blatant for me. the doctor who references. the three minute conversation about 'seamstresses'. having gabriel READING good omens. give me good old arsenic made by cmot dibbler that won't look even the slightest bit out place to casual viewers but is still a cheeky like tribute. that was the only one i really liked.

HOWEVER there are things about this season i liked a lot

some of the flashbacks were very good

lesbians defending a bookshop from the forces of hell sounds like a fun friday night 10/10 would show up

this was 100% aziraphale's season

AND just to elaborate on that last point and why i like it so very very much, it was very necessary, even if the stakes were small, to give aziraphale his season. the story starts with crowley and aziraphale on unequal grounds. crowley has asked his questions, he's a big name in hell, he doesn't feel beholden to anyone. demons come after him? he kills one with holy water and traps the other in his answering machine. when the devil is about to bust out of the earth, it's crowley who DOES something (because if he doesn't, aziraphale will never speak to him again oh my good he's so whipped)

aziraphale is not the same as crowley. he doesn't command respect in heaven. he's constantly looked down upon by the other angels for being too attached to earth and tbh for annoying them. he gets cornered and punched by a couple of his superiors and doesn't do anything but call them 'bad angels'. and in almost every flashback (almost) we see aziraphale begin to question the word of heaven, good and evil. and when he can't talk to god to try to stop the apocalypse, that's another crumble in his once stalwart belief. we see him do what crowley had already accomplished an eon ago. by the time the end of s2 rolls around and he sees gabriel (gabriel!) defy heaven because of love, aziraphale is now on equal footing with crowley. he declared war on hell with that halo business. he has reached crowley levels of 'don't fuck with me' attitude. (he will give jim hot chocolate and send him to bed while battling the forces of evil because this is still aziraphale we're talking about and he'll do things his way. still.) he will follow the metatron into heaven KNOWING from the moment he gets in that lift, from the moment he learns of the second coming, that he won't actually be changing heaven for the better. he's going to wreak havoc.

it's really important that he got there, that 'don't fuck with me' attitude. and, since s3 is going to go back to upping the stakes very very much (as i'm sure the sequel to the book was meant to do), it will be great to see what aziraphale can do now he'd found that rebellion inside himself. if crowley did something to stop the apocalypse, then it's aziraphale's turn to be the hero he needs to prove to himself he can be and do the something to stop the second coming. And doubtless crowley will get involved but the two of them stand shoulder at this point, both having their own sort of rebellion, and even if s2 wasn't as good as s1, it was a necessary building block to put aziraphale exactly where he needs to be as a character.

he's a goddamn rebel angel and if this season was a little eh to reach that point, i'm fine with that