#but it's fine i know i'll adapt as long as i don't have to move to a different city ever again gfsahgak

[perilegs]

being homesick and changing as a person so much the place you grew up in isn't your home anymore is such a core part of ati and upon further inspection i think i was projecting a little

[welcometohellfilm]

Congrats to everyone who has been working on W2H2! 🎉 If it's alright, I'd like to ask to ask 2 questions:

Is there by chance an official ref of colors for Debbie, or is it still up to interpretation at the moment?

Would you say that your personal, real life experiences within the 10 years moving from W2H to W2H2 shifted the tone/story of the series in some way? Something that I've always been fascinated with when I started looking more into W2H was the shift in Sock's character from the original comic -> first film -> second film, and Jonathan's character from the first film -> second film.

Thank you! ✨

I actually just made some 'official'-ish colors for Debbie! Her voice actor Kaitlyn wanted something to use on a banner for conventions haha... so here you go!

2. I'm not really sure how to answer this one, haha. I mean I've definitely changed as a person over the course of making each iteration of W2H. I started the comic while I was at community college, before I went to art school. I adapted it into an animation for my graduation project. And I started W2H2 a couple years after I graduated college. So there's a good 2-3 years between each attempt at W2H I've done, haha. I think a lot of my original ideas from the comic had to change because it needed to be condensed into a short film. I didn't even GET to Jonathan yet in the comic! Some things just didn't make sense to me anymore, like the idea of Sock already having a human body count. It'd just be absurd for him to be able to hide it for so long! Plus, if I made it so that Sock has only ever entertained the idea of murder, it makes his new job that much more appealing-- it's a chance for him to really lean in to this thing he's always had to hide. Between the first and second films though, I mean... I think there's been some tonal shift, for sure (I don't know about a character shift? We'll get to that haha) But basically, when I was first thinking about W2H2, my idea was "Sock and Jonathan hang out and attempt to figure out touch physics, also there's some drama about a journal Jonathan keeps." All of the hell stuff is something that came from bouncing ideas around with my friends, Michael and Neil. I was worried that sending Jonathan to hell would be too bonkers for a "2nd episode", but we all kinda agreed that enough time had passed that the fans would probably enjoy something higher stakes, so it would be fine. (I'll give everyone a moment to realize this conversation would've been happening in 2015-16... ha.)

We also kind of thought, y'know... I have no idea how many more of these there's even gonna' be, so why not go a little bigger with this one? W2H2 is a higher stakes story than what I set out to make in the beginning, that's for sure. It is interesting to compare all of them.. the employee handbook was actually from the comic and I cut that because it wasn't helpful for W2H... but then it became helpful for W2H2, so it came back! Haha. I'm curious to know in what ways people think the characters have changed though. (And is that a good thing or a bad thing?) Especially a character like Jonathan, no one's really even seen that much of him yet, I think most of the characterization comes from fandom, or like... art I've drawn, I guess? Haha... I'm not sure! I guess Sock's a little more confident and antagonistic in this one (though he'll have his moments of hesitation... we're only at Part 1 right now!), and Jonathan has had to become a more vocal/active character, just by nature of the kind of story it is, I suppose. But yeah, I'm not sure! Happy to hear your guys' thoughts though!

[thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels]

Ask me about my sins (and I'll tell you about my love)

carry me slowly, my sunlight (these colours, they fade for you only) - series masterlist here

pairing: damian wayne x reader (gender neutral)

length: 1.8k

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: the initial awkwardness of enemies to lovers who have JUST moved on to the lovers stage, there's a lil jealousy but it's smoothed over pretty easily

a/n: this is a bit of a longer one but whatever I hope y'all like it <3

The galas Bruce Wayne holds may have become a normal occurrence for Damian, but the thought of them and everything they entail still makes something uneasy stir in your gut. Damian assures you that it's fine - that it's understandable. He stares intently in the mirror, straightening his suit as he speaks soothing words.

"You haven't been in Gotham for very long," he says. "No one expects you to adjust to life here immediately… and no one will demand you do anything you're not comfortable with. Ever. If you never go to one of these galas, that's fine with me."

You stare at the pattern of the wood floor in Damian's room, your hands bunching the covers of his bed where you sit as he moves to stand in front of you. He doesn't touch you - he's not sure enough, yet. This newfound peace between the two of you is still so fragile and neither of you know exactly how to navigate it yet. It pains him, though - he often finds himself wishing he could reach out, wishing there was something he could do to bridge the gap between the two of you.

"You've adapted to life outside of the League very well," you say quietly, a sharpness coating your words. There's an accusation there somewhere, maybe born of jealousy, maybe born of fear. Damian doesn't take the bait, though - another indicator of the ways in which he's grown since coming here. Another moment that leaves a bitterness on your tongue.

"No," he responds simply. "It's just that the years I spent learning this new life, you were… still back there. You knew me in the League and you know me now. There was an in-between that you just didn't see."

You don't respond to his words, a swirling sort of panic rising in your chest at the reminder that there was so much of him that you missed, so much of his life that you were so far away for. Damian kneels in front of you, tilting his head to lock his eyes with yours, a gentle love shining in his irises that makes you wish you could run away - again. 

"Please be here tonight when I get back?" he asks softly. "We can talk more about this then." You nod at his words and he reaches out slowly, taking your hand in his and pressing a series of delicate kisses to your knuckles. There are words neither of you can say yet, bridges neither of you are ready to cross, but he hopes - every day he hopes that you know how much he loves you. And every day you pray he can see how much you love him back.

Having spent his whole life circling you and watching you circle back, it's almost second nature for Damian, now, to check for you. No one else is aware of your presence, too focused on the press and the dresses and the endless champagne that comes with these events - not that any of them could find you if they tried, Damian thinks smugly. He knows, of course. He always knows. The flicker of a shadow seen through a window, a rustle on the balcony near him, the ever-present feeling of eyes on him. 

Damian doesn't mind, he realizes. He takes no issue with your hawk-like gaze trained on him from a vantage point no one else can find. In a way, it makes him feel better. You're not here, in front of him, where he can keep you safe - but if you're around, then you must be okay. It soothes something in him - something new and foreign that pleads with him and demands he take care of you. It's an unfamiliar feeling, one that trips him up and knocks him off balance. He has a hard time placing the moment he stopped being possessive of you as his enemy and started becoming protective of you as his… well, he doesn't even really know yet.

He does mind when a girl his age bumps into him at the gala, a glass of something sparkling in her hand as she giggles and promises that it was an accident, her hand finding itself placed on his chest. And he minds even more when, amidst his attempts to escape the sudden intrusion on his train of thought he suddenly… can't find you or feel you anywhere.  He removes the girl's hands quickly, excusing himself and slipping out, away from the noise and the politeness and the showiness of it all.

"You cut your party short," you say quietly, not turning to look at where Damian's climbed onto the roof of the Manor behind you, dress shirt ruffled and jacket unbuttoned. You don't need to turn to know he's there, silent as he is. You always know.

"It's not my party. I made my appearance," he shrugs, sitting down next to you and staring at you intently. You keep your gaze trained up, staring at the night sky as you sit stiffly, back straight and shoulders back. 

"She means nothing to me," Damian says firmly when you remain silent. You tense at his words. "I don't even know who she was."

"...It's fine," you say stubbornly. Damian sighs. Silence covers the two of you, the weight of it bearing down on the uneasiness - the stubbornness and the frustration of you both. Damian shifts, finding himself unsure, once again. You had always been better at this than him - always been more sure of yourself when it came to mind games. He finds himself wishing suddenly that he had a sword in his hands - it was always easier to fight you like that.

"You're… jealous," he says slowly, like he's trying to figure out where you stand in the situation. You snap your head around to look at him and he winces internally. Wrong guess, he thinks.

"I'm not," you respond stubbornly and he thinks briefly that this isn't the tact he's used to seeing you use in verbal sparring matches. He's not sure if it soothes or stresses him that he seems to unarm you the same way you so effortlessly unarm him. 

"We were apart for years, Damian," you continue quietly, looking away from him pointedly. "And… we were never actually together. And we were so young when you left the League. And…" you trail off, eyes shifting as you seemingly search for the right words.

"And…?" he prompts patiently. You sigh, slumping over ever so slightly, cracking your perfect posture for just a moment. Damian wonders if anyone else has ever seen you like this or if he's an exception - then kicks himself mentally for focusing on something like that right now.

"You came to Gotham for a second chance - a new life. I don't expect that you sat here waiting for me… I don't expect that there was never anyone else," you finish glumly, still pointedly looking anywhere but Damian as you speak. He makes a strange sound at your words, a strangled sort of panicked noise at the idea that you're presenting to him.

He turns suddenly, facing you completely as he reaches out, hands outstretching towards you so fast and determinedly that you jerk back, years of the two of you on opposite sides of a bloody fight flashing in front of your eyes. But there's no fight in Damian tonight. There's no violence in the way he cups your cheeks tenderly in his hands, pulling himself forward to press a kiss to your lips. 

Your own surprised sound leaves your throat at the action, your hands reaching up to wrap around Damian's wrists as he kisses you. Maybe you both expect for you to pull him away, but you find your fingers wrapping around the delicate bones of his wrists and keeping him there, pressed against you.

By the time the two of you part, you're both gasping for breath and you find yourself half in Damian's lap, your chest heaving against his as his hands anchor you to him. He tips his head forward to touch his forehead to yours, leaning into you as you relax against him. A faint smile flits over his lips at the way you sag against his chest, letting the tension you've lived with for so long slip ever so slightly off your shoulders.

Eventually, he brings a hand to cup your cheek again, firmly this time, moving just enough to look at you. You're close still - close enough that you can feel his lips brush against yours as he talks and you can't help but notice the way his heart beats against his chest and into yours. 

"It was always you," he says in that voice that you know is reserved for you - that voice that's gentle and loving and full of so much emotion that it nearly wavers. "There was never anyone else - not even in my thoughts. Certainly not pressed up against me like this."

You huff at his words, your cheeks beginning to feel hot as you pull away from him just enough to let your head fall to his shoulder, your face hidden from him. He lets you, thankfully, humming in contentment and just a touch of smugness as he pulls you closer to him, your weight a welcoming blanket.

"I think…"  you begin, pulling your face away from his neck to look at him again. "I think this may have been inevitable. I think we… might have been inevitable." Damian grins at your words, his smile flashing in a way that makes your stomach swoop.

"I think you're right," he says firmly. Sounds of the gala float up towards the two of you as you sit together, leaning against each other. "I was, by the way," he continues. You cock your head to the side.

"What?"

"I was waiting for you. And I would again, if I needed to. Until the end of my days." Damian says it so simply, so matter-of-factly, and something in your brain feels fuzzy because of it.

"Well… I'm sorry to have kept you waiting for so long," you respond gently, a smile passing across your lips quickly. Damian's returning smile is just as small - just as shy. His voice, in his response, is soft in a way that blankets you.

"You don't need to apologize. Your mistakes are not sins to me and your missteps do not demand penance. You will never have to ask for my forgiveness because it will always be given… without question, without hesitation, without uncertainty. It's… inevitable."

You laugh at his words and Damian feels his heart soar.

"Yes," you agree. "I suppose it is."

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Can you rank the sdv bachelors/bachelorettes on who would adjust the best/worst to farm life? I'm curious on your opinion :))

Sure thing, let's do a ranking on our marriage candidates 😃 Thanks for the ask, dear anon! 🫰💕

Also, I think it's worth saying that I think all candidates will adjust well to their new life on the farm. This is where I described and judged candidates when they first moved onto the farm, from day one. This is just my opinion, so if you think differently, feel free to write about it here in replies!

_____________________________

SDV bachelors:

Shane gets a confident 8.5/10. After all, he didn't get the nickname "chicken man" for nothing, as he takes excellent care of hens on his aunt's ranch. So much so that he's bred his own breed of blue chickens! Plus, I'm sure Shane has helped Marnie take care of other animals while in the barn, and knows a fair bit about growing crops (at least his favourite hot peppers). So he will adapt almost instantly!

I'll probably get some hate for this, but I'll give Elliott a 1/10. With all due respect to our gallant writer, he literally has a quote where he says he "won't water the plant with salt water this time." ...Who would ever think of watering a freshwater plant with salt water, even without a background in gardening? So it's going to take Elliott a long time to adjust to life on a farm, especially if it's a Beach Farm ("Don't water the tomatoes with seawater!").

Normally Sam's mother, as she herself claimed, didn't make him and Vincent do house work, and there's no garden or hint of anyone in the family taking care of the houseplants (most likely Jodi doing all the work). So Sammy jumps from the life of a carefree musician to one full of farm chores, at least partially. In fact, he doesn't mind giving it a try, just doesn't know where to start ("Honey, help me"). 3/10, he's a little confused, but he got the spirit.

Being constantly busy working with patients, despite the small size of the town, and a bunch of other things to do in his clinic, certainly doesn't leave Harvey enough free time to do much gardening. But at least there's some time to read books, and the library just happens to have a couple of interesting ones about farming. I think it will at least give him the opportunity to grow tomatoes in a pot (albeit decorative ones). It's going to be a lot harder with farming, but Harvey even likes it. Still, 3.5/10, he's trying.

Similar situation with Sam, Sebastian will jump from a life of freelance programming work to the farm work. Of course Farmer won't force Sebby to work for them, after all they love him for who he is, not as free labour. But emo himself feels he should help his spouse with their work somehow. He's so-so at growing crops, but taking care of the chickens and goats is much better. 4/10, the black hens are his favourite, btw.

Oh, Alex will fit into farm life quite nicely. The athlete may have difficulty tending crops, watering potatoes and garlic with too much water, but in terms of physical tasks he does just fine. Drag heavy bags of seed/hay? Heck yeah! Load heavy pumpkins into the shipping bin for sale? Easy, he'll do it with one hand! It's like a workout for him. 6.5/10, go Alex!

SDV bachelorettes:

Penny may not have had the opportunity to grow melons or have a small garden near her house (well, trailer in this case), she was constantly reading books about foraging and farming, overflowing with dreams of having her own green place. Soon her dream came true, and all the theory they read was not wasted. Of course, the young teacher will definitely have difficulties, as this is not a small garden but a huge farm, but she will adapt quite well. 7/10, very nice.

4.5/10 for Maru. Actually, she's been a great helper on the farm from the beginning, only her area of expertise was different. Maru will easily fix any broken oil maker or calculate the proportions of minerals for fertiliser, but when asked to take care of the vegetable garden, the young inventor will definitely fall into a stupor. Still, I'm sure she will get used to it, because Maru is a genius, and if she can create an intelligent robot, she can handle growing strawberries as well.

I was going to give Haley the same number of points as Elliott, but I thought her trying to learn how to interact with cows and my idea that she wanted to learn about growing sunflowers deserved another point. So let it be 2/10. Yes, very low, but Haley used to be squeamish of any dirt and smells, so farm life, which is just full of dirt and smells (especially from the barn) will be a bit difficult for a girl.

In general, Leah's knowledge is closer to foraging than to farming, but the talented artist is definitely not afraid of hard work, and has a basic knowledge of growing crops. She definitely offered her then (future) spouse help on the farm several times. Yes, it was flirting, but Leah was actually willing to help carry seeds and water the plants, even had something to share about growing mushrooms on stumps. 7.5/10, she's a great fit.

On the one hand, Abigail has some experience in farming, as Pierre definitely asked her for help in his small vegetable garden behind the shop. On the other hand, the purple-haired girl didn't really show much interest in all this and she seemed to lack patience with plants and flowers before. It's different now, but Abby thought at times that her father and mother's chatter about plants was for a reason after all. 4/10, not too great, but not all bad either.

Emily takes care of the flowers in the house, so some knowledge she has. She loves nature and being outside, that's undeniable. Farming skills? Well... yes and no. Emily is a hard-working bee, but almost all of her time has been taken up at the Saloon, cleaning the house, and a passion for tailoring, so she doesn't have much experience. Still, it's there, and I'd give it a 5/10, but more because of the fact that Emily definitely takes good care of the animals ("My friends")

_________________________________________

So, from best to worst (SDV bachelors):

№1: Shane; №2: Alex; №3: Sebastian; №4: Sam; №5: Harvey; №6: Elliott.

From best to worst (sdv bachelorettes):

№1: Leah; №: Penny; №3: Emily; №4: Maru; №5: Abigail; №6: Haley.

[melkyt]

Imagine a Claustrophobic!Law after having to spend however long in that small chest. He does fine on the polar tang, that's his safe space and all in all, it's pretty big, he chooses to go in it and has gotten mostly used to it. Plus it's metal, not wood, a small difference but it is enough for his mind.

There are moments when emotions are high that there is a lingering panic if he has to go check on the engine or anywhere that proves a tight squeeze. His crew knows and usually handles it for him. 

Though on other ships, Law absolutely refuses to go under the deck or anywhere where there is no clear view of the sky. Where there is only the creaking of the wood and the pulsing fear left from that night.

Part of him was dreading going on the straw hat ship even though they were going toward his goal, it was still a ship. Made out of wood, and a place where he will be trapped on the ocean for weeks, lots of ways to get his panic to surface.

It's fine for the first few days, he stays on the deck and even when he doesn't go down to eat, they don't force him, just Sanji brings him food without a word. Luffy would bring it but they all know he would eat it all on the way.

Luffy still runs up with his own plate to hang out with Traffy. However, he gets bored of that quickly and just moves their lunches or dinners up to the deck. Moving around Law instead of forcing him to adapt to their schedule, not that they have one in the first place.

Law did not expect them to adjust that way. Usually, in places where he is a stranger, he just deals with what he has to do to avoid an attack and then recover at home if he has to miss sleep or meals.

It's all fine until there is a storm, a big one. Law still is set on staying on deck. He gets under the mast but it does not help with the wind.

Luffy is out there because he wants to play in the rain until Nami yells that they will both get sick and they need to get inside.

Considering Law feels sick just looking at the door leading inside. He decides to take his chances outside.

Luffy is about to go in but looks back to see that Law hasn't moved. So he plops down under the mast, yelling to Nami that they will go in later, this is too much fun. He turns back to Law. "Why don't you like the Sunny?" A pout, and a gaze that seems to see all the way through Law.

"The ship is fine, I just like the rain" Law shifts his weight, putting his sword between them as though it is a shield.

"The sunny's a lion but she won't eat you, she's nice" Luffy slides closer, peering under the brim of Law's hat. He takes note of how white Law's knuckles are over the sword. "We can go to Zoro's room, can still see the sky"

"I'm fine here" Law hunches down, he will still be able to know that he's trapped by the glass. He could always use his power to get out but that takes concentration and the rising panic never helps.

"Then I'll stay with you Traffy" Luffy slumps against him, stretching out on the wooden bench.

"No, we have a fight, getting sick is a waste of time." Law grumbles, he knows he should listen to his own advice.

"Then we should go in, how about the aquarium, it's like your ship" As in, most of it is metal outside the glass looking in on the fish.

Law bites his bottom lip. Luffy is not about to give up, and he is starting to get cold. "Fine" He huffs, getting up.

Luffy grabs him by the hand, dragging him into the ship. Law is careful to keep his eyes down, and not register that the walls feel as though they are getting smaller around him. He forces his lungs to move in a steady controlled rhythm.

Luffy drags him up the stairs, each step making his breath catch, Law has to squeeze his eyes to keep the walls from closing in.

It is not any better in the somewhat open space that is Zoro's room and crow's nest.

The storm makes the room look smaller than it is, darker. Flashes of lighting illuminate it every few seconds but it is not enough. Law swallows, he feels that his legs will give out any second. "Strawhat... Luffy," His voice shakes, making him sound weak. He hates it. "I need to get out of here" Law lifts his hand. "Room" The bubble spreads out, and he searches for anything that he can switch spots with to get outside. This was a bad idea.

That tightness in his chest, the gasps for breath, weakness in his knees. "Sham..." His voice breaks, and he feels his throat tighten. His powers won't answer him. 

"Traffy, hey hey" Luffy places his hands on either side of Law's face. His hands are surprisingly soft for someone who constantly fights, not a single callouse on his palms. "Look at me, I'm here, it's me" His smile is as bright as always. 

Law squeezes his eyes shut and then opens them focusing on Luffy. "It's dark, I can't do this again" He huffs, the memories of that night refuse to fade. He can see the inside of the treasure chest where he was trapped. Luffy's joy can only just barely push away his pain. His fingers shake. He tries to find his voice again, only to fail, he tries again. "Shambles." This time his power fails him, "He died while I was trapped, I can't be trapped, I can't be here, not in this cage" Law would be franticly looking around the place, if not for Luffy holding onto him. He would be pulling away if the touch was not so comfortable if it was not the only thing that grounds him. 

Luffy bites his bottom lip, thinking for only a brief moment. He drops his arms to wrap them around Law's trembling shoulders, falling back, taking Law with him. They fall in a sprawl of limbs. Luffy only just manages to keep his head from hitting the wall. 

Law is too paralyzed by his panic which is getting worse with every passing second to even complain about it. 

"Sanji, Nami, and Robin are also afraid of small rooms, like you Traffy" Luffy brushes his hand across the wall until it comes in contact with a lever. "Franky made this to help" It was Chopper's idea, something that would help if they couldn't go outside with all the storms in the grand line. "Look, look" 

Law shakes his head, he has his fists clutching at Luffy's shirt. Not looking is better. He is starting to calm down, just has to still his heart enough for his powers to react. 

"You trust me right Traffy?" Luffy massages the base of his skull. "It's pretty, like you shishishi" He brushes Law's cheek where he knows one of the smaller pale spots is. 

It takes a minute but Law gives in to the insistent nudging. When he looks up his breath is taken away, and his panic fades almost as quickly as it came. They are no longer in a stifling closed room. No, above them is a bright swirling sky with stars as far as the eye can see. "What is this?" 

"The sky!" Luffy points at a cluster of stars. "That one is my favorite because it looks like meat" He wraps an arm around Law as the man turns to rest his head on Luffy's chest. "And that one there looks like a heart, so when I miss you I came here to look at it" 

Luffy continues to point out all the constellations that he finds fun, making most of them up on the spot. 

Law does not say anything, listening to the even drone of Luffy's voice until he can breathe normally again, he listens until he falls asleep, and even then, his dreams are pleasant. Something that never happens after his claustrophobia flares up. It has been a long time since he has felt safe anywhere but the polar tang, yet now that is what Luffy gives him. Safety and a peaceful night, and the love that accepts him as he is no matter what. 

[qiutls]

TNGDH 005

That bad man.

A man without blood nor tears. A really terrible person. So merciless... I roared into the sawdust, floundering my limbs all around.

― Squeak! [ Give me back my wheel, you punk! ]

I'm not even halfway through the mission!

How can you only look at documents and pretend that you're not interested in this hamster at all then stab me in the back like this, huh? If I knew you were looking, I would have pretended to run moderately.

Indeed, I was stupid to believe that a crazy hamster otaku like him would be indifferent to me for even a minute. I'm the Northern Grand Duke and I'm superior to a running hamster, as if.

Kyle even went on patrol the next day taking the wheel with him. It's absolutely insane. There's no work to do, nor miracles in this cage, and I can't even do other quests.

That enemy-like miracle...

I climbed the slide from the end part to the middle, then let myself slide down, repeating it a few times and then sighing heavily at the end. 

I want to live like a human being until I die. Forget about eating well, or living luxuriously. I just want to live as a human, as defined by the dictionary!

Anyway, time went by against my will.

It was a day filled with playing and eating. Riding down the slide, eating walnuts, taking a nap, eating peanuts, stretching my body at a breathing room, eating sunflower seeds, riding the swing, eating pistachios...

I hear it's a cold neighborhood, are nuts a specialty? It's a great place to build a burum restaurant. It's only difficult to peel the nuts if you try and peel it all at once, but if you put it in a bowl, peel it little by little whenever you think of it...

/burum means assorted nuts, specifically walnuts, pine nuts, peanuts and etc./

...Fuck, what the hell are am I thinking?

I'm already thinking like a hamster.

All of a sudden, I started to fear what if I adapt to the situation casually like this. I'm a human being! I'm an intelligent person!

"Cashew Nut."

Kyle came back long after sunset.

I don't if he came in at a late time since I couldn't see the clock from here, and during winter in Blake's estate, nighttime took up more than half of the day.

He returned to the study to find me, but I pretended to not know. I wasn't in the mood.

Well, isn't this situation pretty.

I crumpled my body into the passageway between the first and second floors of the house that's not easily seen from the outside. He looked around the house for a while before giving up and returning to his bedroom.

He obviously looked disappointed, but....

Well, if you give me back my wheel, maybe I'll meet you face to face for a bit.

The next day, we met with a transparent passage between us. The frustrated Northern Grand Duke visited the study before sunrise.

"I'll be back soon."

He spoke affectionately, with his face close to mine.

"From today on, let's control your diet. Your body seemed to not be able to fit in that passageway."

Wait a minute... What the hell is this guy saying?

I lost my breath for a bit due to the shock of hearing those words.

But Kyle moved quickly, he was already pouring out the contents of my bowl. My bowl full of nuts... No... It's all empty, leaving only three almonds.

"I don't want you to strain your joints. I've still left some, so it'll be fine until the night. I'm busy preparing for the festival, so I think I'll come in late again today."

―…….

"...As expected, is it too little?"

Before I could protest, the man behind him said.

"No, I have heard from the magician that the growth period for the hamster have yet to come, Your Highness. The food is enough."

What are you talking about. What do you mean controlling my diet? Do you not have eyes? It's wrong to eat just one nut for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

It's the first time since school meals, that I'm eating food as someone else had planned. I looked up at Kyle, staring at him ridiculously and kicked the bowl over.

A dirty and cheap life, I can't even eat whatever I want.

I want to eat chicken with beer, salmon with capers, chicken feet, tteokbeokki, pane pasta.... Greasy, spicy, and bad for your health, it's something that only Koreans can eat!

"I guess, I'd better let him exercise a little."

"Yes, Your Highness, it's not good to overdo it, but it's still better than having it gain too much weight."

"Alright."

Kyle nodded his head, and with a grave look, put back the wheel in my house.

Yes! That's right!

I looked up at him, my blue eyes shining. He really looked like an angel today.

Get ready the party will start shortly. I only need to run 800 laps, not a single more and I'm done with this hamster life!

Let's calm down for now, if I ride it as soon as you give it to me, you'll probably take it away again. I pretended to be as calm as possible, and turned my head away from the wheel as if I didn't care that it has finally returned to my arms.

Kyle looked at me for a long time, his eyes were practically saying, "you're so cute, I could die."

Look at him, it seems like he had kissed me a hundred times with just those eyes alone. You've grown a lot, you already know how to control yourself when someone's next to you.

"Do you like that demonic beast that much, Your Highness?"

I heard their conversation as they were about to leave.

"Apparently, it's a northern field mouse type of beast, it's a bit late to give a mana stone for it's heart, so it's physical strength is weak but... It's able to socially interact and above all, it's pretty smart.

"Anyways, it's still young, that's why the size is a bit... It does resemble a hamster, however, if you look closely, it's just golden fur...

"It's just a mouse." /all the dialogue above is from the man accompanying Kyle/

"What do you mean, just a mouse?"

Kyle answered coldly and turned to him. "Are your eyes defective?"

"... Y-your Highness, I-"

"Enough, while I finish the paperwork for the celebrations, fetch me a small needle and some yarn."

"What will you do with it, Your highness?"

"There's no need to know, I'll be using it for important stuff, so only bring high quality ones."

"Yes, Your Highness."

Kyle left the study, while coughing. "This winter is especially cold."

This punk, don't tell me...

You're not going to knit my clothes, are you? Don't be weirdly domestic, Grand Duke, if you don't want to see this fragile hamster grab the back of your neck with just one hand.

The mere imagination of it made my body shiver and I rubbed my limbs quickly. Forget it, let's not think about it.

I quickly climbed onto the wheel. That's right, running on the wheel is best way to empty your mind. Now that I have the hang of it, I'll surely be able to finish 800 laps quickly.

I took a deep breath and began to move my four feet.

With a clatter, the wheel began to move slowly.

Now let's go with the flow, think about something peaceful and pleasant. Pizza, bulgogi, sundae gukbap... I felt my mouth watering and continued to run on the wheel with more force.

[ 0217/1000 ] …… [ 0322/1000 ] …… [ 0445/1000 ]

The numbers went up smoothly.

At this rate, I'm confident that there will be no hamster who can spin a wheel better than me. It's worthwhile to do this and count the number of times, so I think I'm accumulating points.

I just looked at the system window running, the number was between 600 to 700. Look at this, won't I be able to finish it soon.

I was a little hungry, so I was going to take a break and eat, but then I remembered what Kyle and the man discussed earlier.

What? Control my diet? Was I stuck in the passageway with my big body?

No, I won't eat anymore. I'll lose weight, and if I die, then I'll make him regret it.

I turned the wheel frantically with strange enthusiasm, refusing to rest. I was a little bit worried that the screw might fall off at this rate.

So, when I first heard a creaking sound, I thought this enormous wheel have finally met its end.

Huh, but is this really the right sound?

"Does the Grand Duke hide women in the castle?"

"I heard he loves her so much that he'll spend the day cooped up in here."

... A woman?

"You idiot! Why would you hide a woman in the study? You should put her in your bedroom, of course."

"... Really? Well, let's just search here for a bit, then go to the bedroom."

"That's right, by any chance we might get lucky and find some military secret in here."

I stopped turning the wheel and looked down at the men that crawled in through the door, literally.

The approached the desk, in a weird posture, they were wearing black masks. One look and you'd be able to tell, these people were not invited guests.

"Let's catch the woman, or maybe kill her."

"Right, if it's a commoner, then it will be pretty easy."

"Isn't that why he keeps her hidden, because she has no status?"

The masked men, no the thieves exchanged stories amongst themselves and searched the drawers. Documents in the top column, documents in the next, as well as third one. And in the last column-

"What's this?"

One of the men pulled out a bag from the drawer. I sat next to my bowl, eating the almonds as I watched them.

"Macadamia?"

There's one there too? For your information, there's also a bag of those in the small drawer next to the door.

Crunch. Crunch.

The thieves fell silent, and only the sound of me eating nuts could be heard in the study. Only then did they notice my existence and slowly approached me.

"What's this?"

"It looks like a mouse."

"Doesn't it look weird, this fur... it's gold right?"

"... Is it a demonic beast?"

"As expected from the Northern Great Duke."

No, I'm just an ordinary hamster.

I took the last almond and filmed a mukbang. Well? Bring me the macadamias in your hand. Three almonds are not enough for me.

"... Do you think it's expensive?"

The thief moved it's mouth after staring at me for a long time. They exchanged glances and soon began to open the hamster cage. 

You guys really didn't have any plan before coming here huh?

Talked about finding a woman and kidnapping her. But now you're kidnapping a hamster instead?

There's no backbone at all. How could such clumsy people try to steal. It's a miracle they didn't get caught on their way here.

I sighed without looking at the hand coming down from the ceiling of my house. Should I approach slowly? Is now a good time?

At that moment.

Clang! The sound of glass breaking echoed throughout the room.

"W-What's that?"

The three thieves, no, more like meerkats suddenly turned their heads towards the window, like real meerkats. 

"How dare you touch what's mine?"

The voice was like a sharp blade, resembling the wind of the highest highlands of the north. It felt like frost. The cowards, then began to tremble, as if they had already died three times just by hearing the voice.

Ah... I mean, this is karma if you look at it technically. In other words, it's time for the teacher to reprimand you.

[ How dare you kidnap my sweet little hamster! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ]

I didn't mean it that way. By the way, why are you so excited?

"You won't be able to take another step."

No... Is it really a death penalty for touching a hamster?

Kyle pulled out a knife from his waistband.

... I really didn't think it would turn out this way.

novel ⠀✿⠀ next

[slytherinbangchan]

Chap7: Die For You♡ (Hyunsung Hybrids Au)

This is part of my Han Jisung & Hwang Hyunjin x fem reader hybrids au. There's a bit of angst on this chap but they're fine dw.

Hybrid's Au masterlist -> 🔞contains smxt in most chapters🔞

Your friend and Chan left in the morning, but Hyunjin didn't come back until midnight. He didn't change back into his hybrid form either. Not for a few days at least, nor long periods of time.

He still would come to your room on his nights to sleep next to you, and he also would still growl at you if you tried to pet him, or walk away if you talked to him. So you stopped trying after a few times.

He barely looks at you now.

Sometimes you just want to ask him straight away if you leaving him to check on Jisung was what really bothered him so much, but you have the feeling that it cannot be as simple as that.

You're scared.

And you miss him so much.

Tonight is Hyunjin's night, but Jisung is cuddling you while you all watch a movie since Hyunjin won't even come close to you. When the movie ends, he silently goes upstairs, so you sigh and kiss Jisung goodnight before leaving too.

Your heart skips a beat as you see him in his hybrid form after so long. He's putting on some clothes, and he only turns his head to look at you when you close the door.

“Hi...” You say, and he sighs. “It's just harder to sleep on this bed if I'm a huge fox.” He says, looking away. His cheeks slightly blushed. You pout, but he's not looking at you.

“Jinnie...” You call him, and he sighs again. “I don't wanna talk to you, y/n.” He says, moving to lie on his side of the bed, facing the other way. You feel like crying, but you keep it in and get in bed too instead.

You turn off the lights, but the moonlight enters your room through the windows, so you can still see him well enough once your eyes adapt to darkness.

You can feel the heat emanating from his body too, even if he's away from you. His fluffy tails slightly moving as he tries to fall asleep. How long are you going to keep watching him from a distance? Why won't he just talk to you about what bothers him?

You stare at him, thinking about the same thing again and again for a while. Then he turns around, facing you, and almost giving you a heart attack. His eyes are closed though. He must be asleep already.

God, your heart hurts seeing his face after so long. A couple tears manage to run down your cheeks, silently landing on your pillow. You stare at him for a bit, then you sit up to keep watching.

If you could only touch him, hug him again... Would he understand how much you love him?

You hesitantly reach for him and his ears flick lightly. “I'll bite you.” He calmly says without even opening his eyes. But you're so tired of this situation, at least you have to try.

“I know.” You tell him, and he sits up too. “I mean it.” He insists, seeing your trembling hand getting closer. “I don't care.” You say, then you gasp as he quickly holds your hand by the wrist and brings it to his mouth, biting on it. Really hard. You try not to whine outloud not to alarm Jisung downstairs, but Hyunjin is making it so difficult... He's so mad at you.

No... He's hurt.

“I get it.” You say. He bites a bit harder and some tears of pain run down your cheeks, but you don't whine nor call for Jisung. “I get it.” You repeat, and he huffes and reluctantly lets go. “No, you don't.” He says, and you turn the lights back on. “I'm sorry.” You apologize.

“Hyunjin, I'm really sorry that I hurt your feelings.” You say and he scoffs. “No, you're not. You only truly care about him.” He says. Tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. “That's not true!” You say. “Then why? Why did you just go with him? You were with me, we were having fun. It was my night.” He whines as some tears finally fall. “You always leave me behind.” He says. “Jinnie, that's not true. He has caught us together more than once too. I've come to find you multiple times because I wanted to be with you.” You tell him, but he's still upset.

“No, but you're so different when you're with him. You shouldn't have gone with him that night. Why did you do it?” He asks again and you sigh, feeling some tears coming for you aswell. “Because I love him!” You say, and he stops talking but his tears are still falling.

“I love him, and I was worried. And I had missed him and I wanted to be with him.” You tell him. His lower lip trembling. You approach him carefully to pull him into a hug. “But I love you, and I miss you and I really want to be with you, too.” You say, and he finally squeezes you in his arms as he cries his heart out.

“I'm sorry.” He apologizes after a bit, and you squeeze him tighter before pulling away to look at his face. “It's okay.” You tell him, wipping some tears off his face. “I bit my master.” He sobs, and you chuckle softly. “She hadn't been a very good master.” You say, caressing his cheek with the back of your hand to soothe him, then you chuckle again. “Ah... I guess it is true after all.” You say and he tilts his head at you a bit confused. “Hybrids can't read human's minds.” You say, distractedly combing his hair out of his face.

“Cause there's no way you could read my mind and still have no clue of how much I truly love you.” You tell him, making him blush. “Ah...” He says. “You love me cause I'm pretty?” He asks, a bit shy over your direct words, and you scoff. “I love you cause of too many things.” You honestly say and he silently nods as he keeps blushing. “It's okay if you don't love me back, though.” You tell him, and he looks at you as if you were crazy for a second, then he laughs.

“Ah...” He says, pulling you even closer to him. “Just saying I love you to you is such an understatement, y/n.” He says. His forehead against yours.

“So instead, from now on. Just let me keep showing you how much you mean to me.” He says. His cheeks still red. You purse your lips, trying to hold back some tears, and he chuckles softly, rubbing his nose against yours. “But of course, I do love you.” He says, ghosting his lips over yours. “Just in case you need to hear it too.” He says, closing the distance between your lips.

You lie on your back as he deepens the kiss. Too focused on your fluttering heart to notice your tummy has been hurting for a bit now, until Hyunjin stops kissing and sits up while holding your hand.

“Wait-Wha- Ouch.” You complain as he checks on the bite marks he left. “But... I smell blood.” He says, a bit confused about the lack of it in your hands, then it hits you. “Oh, fuck.” You say, then you rush to the bathroom closing the door on Hyunjin's nose as he tries to follow you in. “Master...?” He asks, getting Jisung's attention too. “What are you doing?” He asks as he climbs up the stairs. “I'm okay!” You tell them. “It's just my period.” You say, taking care of your stained panties before you can get in the tub to take a quick shower. “Oh, why are you so alarmed then?” Jisung asks Hyunjin, and your heart stops for a long second.

“Oh...” Jinnie says. “Jisung!” You call him as the water keeps running over your underwear. “Can you bring me some tampons from the other bathroom?” You ask him, and he stays silent for a bit. “Sure.” He says, then you close the tap, rushing to the door as soon as you hear him walking down the stairs, and grabbing Hyunjin to take him inside the bathroom with you. Only he feels a bit lighter than usual when you drag him in.

“You're not Hyunjin.” You say, seeing Jisung standing in front of you against the bathroom's door. “What? No... I have no idea where the tampons are.” He says, really confused about everything. Then his eyes drift to your hand still grasping on his shirt.

“Is that a bite mark?” He asks holding your hand to see it better, but you pull it away. “No.” You lie, and he heavily sighs, looking at your eyes. “Y/n... That's a fucking bite.” He says, leaning back on the door with his arms crossed. “Why are you lying to me? I'm not gonna do anything to Hyunjin.” He calmly says. “He's already hurt you. I can't do anything to help it now.” He explains, and you blush just for thinking he would do something like that.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed you'd hurt him.” You tell him and he chuckles. “Oh, no. I would have killed him five months ago.” He says, walking over the bathroom cabinet to distractedly take out some ointment and bandages. “But I get him now.” He says, grabbing your hand to take a better look at it. “He's still a bit annoying.” He says, making you chuckle softly. “But I'm pretty sure this was your fault.” He says, and you dramatically gasp, making him uncapable of holding in a smirk.

“Fuck you.” You say, playfully pushing him a bit, pulling a soft chuckle out of him. “Heyy, don't move.” He complains, and you click your tongue and just let him do. “You know I still have to take a shower, right?” You ask, looking at the bandages and he purses his lips. “Well, I'll help you out.” He says. “I'm bleeding.” You tell him. “I'm not a vampire.” He answers, and you scoff as you smile and push him out of the bathroom, bumping into Hyunjin. “Perfect.” You say, taking the tampons from his hands. “You two just wait for me.” You say, making them lean over so you can peck their noses before closing the door again.

“Should we wait here?” You hear Hyunjin ask, and you silently chuckle to yourself. “I guess so.” Jisung says. “Did you see her hand?” The fox asks. “Mhm.” Jisung answers. “Will she be okay?” He asks. “There was no blood so I think it'll be fine.”

Ahh, they must have grown closer while you were away. You feel so stupid. Can't believe you pulled such a stunt just for Hyunjin to tell Jisung about your hand as soon as he was back. You can't help but to softly laugh about it to yourself.

God... They're cute. Guess that Jisung truly was only in guard mode the whole time Hyunjin was mad at you.

After all he never actively attacked the fox, he only put himself in between you and Hyunjin. It must have been exhausting for him too.

You sigh, quickly finishing everything you have to do in the bathroom to go back to your hybrids, then you end up just lying around with them in bed. Jisung fell asleep a bit ago, but Hyunjin is still full of energy even if he's just been lying down with his head on your chest as you stroke his hair. “Hyunjin-ah, aren't you tired?” You ask, chuckling softly at his waggling tails hitting the bed, and he shakes his head. “I'm pretty much nocturnal, master.” He says. “Ah... Right.” You say. Your eyes closing.

“Wait, so you were never asleep before.” You tell him, looking at him, and he bites back a smile. “No, I don't really sleep a lot at night.” He says. “What do you do? Why do you want to be with me while I sleep then?” You ask, chuckling a bit by the end of it. “Oh, I would just watch you sleep or just, you know.” He says and you scoff. “I don't.” You say. “I like being around you.” He says, blushing a bit, making your heart skip a beat.

“Well, I did use to wait around for you to fuck me, but...” He says, and you scoff as you smile. “Yeah, I thought so.” You say, making him chuckle too. “But that was before I fell for you.” He says, distractedly playing with the drawstring in your pjs's shorts. “Oh, so you don't want that anymore?” You tease, and he sits up to throw a look at you, making you laugh. “You know, Jisung is not the only one who enjoys cuddles and kisses.” He protest. “Oh, is that so?” You ask, pulling from him so he'll lie with you again. “Mhm.” He says. “Yeah? Wanna make out until I fall asleep then?” You ask, ghosting your lips over his.

He nods, kissing you right away. You smile on the kiss, deepening it, and hug him closer, spoiling him with kisses until you can't keep your eyes open any longer.

->Next Chap

Kindly reblog/like this post if you enjoy my work💕 ->Learn more about the characters<-

Taglist: @a-crazylittlekillerqueen @redstayrosie @kkamismom12 @kim-hao-han @3rachasninja

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: Lacrymaria olor(4)

In which Jungkook can sense that you want something from him.

Tags/Warnings: Alien AU, Alien!Jungkook, Human!Reader, Angst, Blood and Violence, Strangers to I don't know?

Additional Chapter Warnings: have you forgotten about this yet because I haven't, dead dove do not eat (murder, cruelty?)

Length: short

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Jungkook is a naturally heavy sleeper.

On his planet, he's the apex predator after all- he's got no natural enemies, nothing could truly hurt him other than one of his own kind. However, you are not- you've adapted as your role of mere prey, constantly waking up from any sound. Currently, there's a flock of bird-like creatures sitting on the windowsill outside, pecking the glass occasionally. Their glowing red eyes spot you awake, curious head tilting from left to right as if to muster you.

It would be fine if it was the size of maybe.. a crow or something. But this thing? It's more the size of a dog.

The worst thing is that the window isn't even closed. Jungkooks leaves it partially open because he can't sleep when it's too warm, and while you never minded in the past, right now with the animal poking it's beak in, you're absolutely terrified.

So you wiggle around, trying to get out of Jungkooks grip- but it's no use. "Jungkook.!" You whine, trying to wake him but he just- doesn't. He simply growls almost under his breath, pulling you even closer.

But what's also coming closer, is the animal.

It's claws click on the wooden floors closer to you, tail being dragged after it as it seems to explore the room first before it targets you in the Temian's arms. Its now that you turn around and bury yourself in Jungkook's arms, trembling from the fear of what's to come.

Until he moves, one hand pushing you behind him while the other holds the strange animal by its throat, rest of the flock outside hurrying away from the sound of its struggle.

There's a strange reflectiveness to Jungkook's eyes, like a cat's, as he holds the animal in a strong grip while slowly getting out of bed. The window is opened, the creature flailing wildly in his fist as he holds it by the neck still, and in horror you watch as Jungkook clenches his jaw for a second before he breaks it and let's the corpse fall the long way down to the ground, where the other 'birds' begin to feed on it.

The window is closed after that, noise silenced as he turns towards you again.

It's moments like these that remind you that he's not someone who sees the act of taking a life as something never to be done, but rather as a way of solving problems, in a way. He's dangerous, definitely- but still, something odd inside you makes you remind yourself that he promised to never hurt you.

That he cares for you, and cares about you.

"Did it hurt you?" He asks in a raspy tone as he crawls back on the bed, now sitting on his knees as he sleepily inspects you for any damage done. You simply shake your head, before you lean into him, arms holding onto his body as best as you can.

Unbeknownst to you, hugging and skinship is something entirely intimate in his culture. It's not taken lightly, it's not done with anybody. In this moment, he thoroughly enjoys thus intimacy with you, chuckling a little when he notices your fear slowly leaving your scent for him. "I forgot they might see you as potential prey. I'll have some safety nets installed on the windows so they can't come in anymore." He gently explains, slowly helping you into a more comfortable position, laying down with you again. "Do you enjoy my company?" He wonders randomly, and you nod.

"You're safe." You say quietly. "You protect me."

"That I do." He nods proudly, eyes closed as he holds you close. "Its good that you're aware of this."

"Its hard not to be." You answer. "I'd be dead without you."

"Probably." He nods. "But I won't let that happen." He quietly promises, opening his eyes again for a second to face you. "I can imagine officially Courting you, you know?" He informs you, and you look at him with wide eyes.

"I- aren't you doing that yet though?" You wonder, a little confused.

"Huh? No, not at all." He says. "Do you not court mates you're interested in on earth?"

"We.. I mean, we go on dates? Like, we go out to eat traditionally, and.. spend time. That's it." You offer, and he scoffs.

"No that's not how it works here." He almost pouts. "How would you know that I'm a worthy partner if I don't prove myself to you?" He questions.

"But I already know that you are..." you start- before noticing what you just implied.

And he suddenly grins, looking at you with the most innocent, sparkling round eyes you've ever seen, before he moves to lean over you, excited eyes falling to your lips before they find your eyes again, silently asking a question you can hear loud and clear.

As you nod, he instantly leans down his head to kiss you, though its neither hungry or hurried. It's as if he's demanding time to wait for now, to stop and give him all the time he wants as he offers such a gentle gesture to you. He himself doesn't truly know why he feels so strongly towards you- in the beginning, it had been nothing more than curiosity to find out what made his past mate leave him for something so frail and selfish like a human being. But somewhere along, the line between simple fun and actual romantic interest had blurred, and right now, as he opens his lips to run his tongue along yours, he knows he's a goner.

But he also does not care, especially not when he parts from you for a second, your hands holding on to his clothes, trying to pull him back in. There's no way he could ever let you leave any longer.

So he keeps you a little closer tonight as he dreams of his plans to prove himself, all while the birds outside still pull apart one of their own.

[hyenafu]

Have you ever thought of crossovers between Slightly Damned and Junk Hyenas Diner? Both casts meeting, even as what-ifs or jokes. Lucky and Kieri have similar struggles with their mothers and the expectations put on them by their families, so they'd likely have a lot to talk about. And then there's the two fuzzy chill guys who love food, and the short beings of nebulous origins that came back to life.

It's funny you worded your question that way! One of the reasons I stopped working on The Junk Hyenas Diner is because I felt my long-term plans for it were too similar to Slightly Damned. I made The Junk Hyenas Diner as my thesis project when I got my graduate degree from the Center for Cartoon Studies. I wanted to completely change up the way I did comics and do something new. I was afraid of having Slightly Damned being my only major project, and I didn't want to be stuck in a rut forever. And it worked out great! I loved working on JHD. With a different setting, I got to make different jokes. Working in black and white helped change the way I approach my art, as well. I think I learned a lot from the experience. I made a bunch of short stories and gained new confidence in my ability to adapt and make new things. I fully intended to continue The Junk Hyenas Diner as my second webcomic in tandem with Slightly Damned after I graduated. But... I ended up putting it off more and more. I got busy with going to conventions more way more often, and expanding the breadth of my merchandise. I also got more involved with my Patreon. I needed to do these things in order to secure my income so I could keep living off of my art. I also felt like my heart wasn't really into making a science fiction (well, more like science fantasy) story. I felt intimidated by other artists who could ground their work in a lot more concrete facts about space travel, technology, and biology. I just wanted to make dumb jokes about food. Now I know that just wanting to make dumb jokes about food is valid, but that was honestly part of why I lost my motivation. I've decided to completely drop JHD for the time being. I'll always keep the website archive up because I still think it's a fun read, and I loved the experience of making it. I also don't consider that door closed forever. If I feel compelled to return for whatever reason, I will! I have thought that JHD would be suitable project for a self-contained graphic novel. I could also just lean into telling jokes whenever they come to me. But I don't really have the time or motivation for it right now, so it's not a priority. I think artists should be allowed to drop projects if they're not really feeling them anymore. It happens. Since the last time I made any new Junk Hyenas comics, I went through some rough emotional events that led me to seeing a therapist. That helped me a lot! After that, I ended up leaning more into making mushy stuff (cutesy and romantic) and spicy stuff (kink art for adults) for Slightly Damned in my free time. That's just what's the most fun for me right now. Because it's fun and rewarding, I keep making more and more. Even if there are folks who don't get it (which is fine), being motivated to draw makes me practice drawing, and practice makes all my art better, so everyone who likes my art still wins in the end!

Motivation is a fickle beast. Life changes. I always have way more ideas than the time and energy to actually make them, and I hope that's a problem I keep for my entire life. I can't possibly do everything all at once. Having Slightly Damned be my life's work is still scary thought. Other artists are able to finish their webcomics and graphic novels and move on, so I end up thinking that the grass may be greener on the other side. I don't know when or even if I'll be able to finish Slightly Damned in order to free up more time to work on other projects. But at the same time, right now, I don't really feel like I need to. I am enjoying what I make, and I'm always pushing myself to make each weekly update better. I love my characters so much that I enjoy following my whims and making spinoff projects with them. I think as long as I continue to find this fulfilling (and there are still people willing to support me), there's no need to force myself to do projects that I'm not feeling especially motivated to do. I know this big wall of text isn't what you asked for, but I wanted to explain why I don't draw Junk Hyenas stuff anymore. Anyway, here's a Thanksgiving picture I did of the Slightly Damned and Junk Hyenas casts in 2016:

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wanting to make my own decisions concerning my siblings future life?

I'll start by apologizing for my broken English, I'm not native to this language. I (26f) have 3 older siblings (30f, 32m and 34m), we all lived with my parents until this year. I've recently decided to move so that I can start to live with my boyfriend, this decision caused a huge fight which ended up in my mother making an impulse buy and deciding on a life for my siblings and me that I don't agree with.

I'll try to be succint here but I do think some background is necessary: all my siblings were born with severe mental disabilities and muscular dystrophy. While my country has public healthcare, their accomodations and appointments can very easily become a financial issue. For example, my parents house has been completely remodeled to fit their wheelchairs, they have had to partially pay for stairlifts and their cars are adapted to fit them and their wheelchairs too. They also require constant monitoring since they act and behave in the way of 5-8 year old kids.

My parents know (and knew back then too) that my siblings' conditions was hereditary and that trying for more children could lead to them being born this way. I've always had the feeling that they continued for more children solely because they wanted to have a 'healthy child' that took care of my oldest siblings and them when they were older. Even though I'm the youngest sibling I've always been treated like a third parent, I've always been expected to care for them like my parents do. Due to this, I've never gotten to enjoy my childhood, I never had time for friends, relationships or hobbies. Growing up like this also made me think about how I wanted my own life to be and I've thought about the future in a way that my parents will never approve of.

Last week I finally decided that I wanted to start living with my bf whom I've been dating for 2 years. When I told my parents they became very happy and congratulated me which made me very happy.

three days ago they offhandedly told me that my bf's garage door was too small to fit my siblings car and that we should start saving to fix his house's stairs so that my siblings' stairlift could be built. I was very confused and told them that my siblings would not be coming with me, their house can accomodate them just fine and my bf's house is way too small. They got very mad and told me that they had been caring for my siblings for a long time and now it was my turn to do it while they rested (they want to retire). I told them I deserved to have some intimacy and that I wanted to enjoy having a childless life for once. They told me that was very selfish of me since they have never been able of enjoying a no-children marriage (they had their first child very early on their marriage and have continued to have children until they had me). I told them that was their own decision, now it's only fair I get to make that kind of decision and it's not like I'm abandoning them, I will continue to help and visit constantly. They told me I was lazy and a terrible sister and daughter.

I cannot begin to explain how much of my siblings' raising was coparented by me, I've spent my entire life caring for them. I've missed up on friends, relationships, jod opportunities, etc. solely to continue to be their caretaker. As you can expect I was very mad but I still kept calm some more, I told them I love my sibligs a lot and would do anything for them but that I deserve to have my own life too. They continued to get even more mad and eventually told me they would disown me if I didn't allow for them to have a good retirement. I left before I could say something I would later regret.

Yesterday my parents apologized and told me I was right. Apparently they've been saving money for some time to help me take care of my siblings once they're gone. They want me to spend this money on a somewhat small one-floor house they have their eyes on, so that we can all live together at some point. I was very happy, I've always been under the impression that my parents expected me to 'deal' with my siblings (forgive my wording, I'm not sure what verb to use) on my own, so them having future plans involving me made me very pleased. However, today my mother called me and told me that she made an impulse buy and bought this house, here's the catch: she somehow looked at the numbers wrong and can only pay for a third of the house's actual price (this is a normal thing for her, she's not the cleverest person). She wants me to pay the rest (by taking out a mortage).

I have some money saved up, its not much since I can't work many hours due to spending most of my time helping my siblings. This money was always going to be used to care for my siblings. However, my plans have always been much different. In a nearby town there is a place that cares for people with disabilities. This place is expensive but it is very nice and it would cover all my siblings' needs. I want to register my siblings there. I love them, I really do, but I'm so tired. I want to have a life and make decisions for myself for once. I know my parents would hate this decision but they are not going to be around forever and then it'll only be me and my bf caring for them on a (actually very small) house having to deal with a mortage my parents can't help pay off. My siblings would probably be sad too but they will get used to this new place and its not like I'm going to leave them forever, I would visit them constantly. This place would probably genuinely take better care of them than me and would allow me to work more hours and earn more (which I desperatly need if I want to continue caring for them). While my siblings' government aid would help it is definetly not enough if I consider how many renovations the house will need and my sibligs' constant medical expenses. When I talked about my concerns with my parents they simply told me that all will be fine and didn't give me any substancial advice on how to deal with anything. I'm also simply not strong enough. They require constant monitoring, showering, dressing and moving them requires so much strength it often makes my body hurt and emotionally it takes a huge toll on me to come back from work to spend the rest of my time solely caring for them. We have nurses hired but it is expensive and mostly not enough.

I know my parents will forever hate me for this and I will make my siblings very stressed for some time, but they depend on me. They don't have much of a choice here which is why I think I am the asshole, Would I be the asshole if I cancelled the house purchase and left my siblings in my parents house for the foreseeable future? I want intimacy with my bf and to have my own life for some time, I would also continue to save to ensure my siblings receive the best treatment possible. I'm also not abandoning my parents nor my siblings, I will continue to visit, help financially, spent time with them and carry them to their appointments, just from a distance. Basically it would all be the same except, at the end of the day, I get to go home to my bf and spend some time for myself. At the same time, would I be the asshole if I decided to cancel the house purchase and instead opted to enter my siblings in a medical institution that can better suit their needs? my parents will never agree with my decision but they are getting older and weaker, soon they won't be able to help and then it will only be me. I know my siblings would prefer to be with me, I'm being selfish but, at the same, I think my plan may be the best one for everyone involved.

What are these acronyms?

[yourhighness6]

NATLA Debrief: Episode 3 (by yours truly)

Hi again! If any of ya'll are interested here's episodes 1 and 2. Thank you to those who have been following these deranged, unorganized posts, especially @phoebester (Just an fyi this will be hella long, just like the other two)

First of all, the way they framed the opening resistence scene was genuinely so cool because I immediately thought back to the cold open for the first episode. The streets are so similar that's where my mind went RIGHT AWAY and if that is not good set design and filming I don't know what is.

The resistance scene was so powerful for so many reasons besides those small details, too. The concept of a resistance within the FN was never addressed at all within the cartoon and I can't express how glad I am that they added this. It just makes logical sense that some people would resist, especially while so many are dying in war, and it really serves to humanize the FN people in a way that's reminiscent of book 3 ATLA. Perfect way to expand on the source material and introduce core themes earlier in the show (M Nite should be taking notes).

It was also a perfect way to introduce both Ozai and Azula's characters. Ozai is this menacing figure stepping out of the shadows (quite literally), an almost larger than life villain who seems to have every move planned and everything calculated. He's brutal and efficient and we can see that. Azula is conniving and smart, the kind of girl who can fool anyone and come out on top, but is ultimately still a weapon under her father's control. You can tell from the moment Ozai mentions Zuko that she is the underdog, but she is determined that it will not stay that way, and she seems just terrifying enough to succeed. (also idc what anyone says Elizabeth Yu has mastered Azula's look and general vibe. I feel like the whole 'miscasting' debacle was a mix of fatphobia and being shown the wrong stills before the show came out. She looked sort of sweet and innocent in those but I get absolutely none of that from this scene)

Ugh the exposition was great and then they have to give us this. What the absolute hell did they do to my Katara? Like there was a whole ass episode in the cartoon devoted to her getting mad because she wasn't progressing as fast as Aang and then in this fucking adaptation the maddest she sounds is when she emotionlessly declares, "I don't get it" to convey mild frustration. I'm sorry Kiawentiio, you're acting is great but the writers clearly have no fucking idea how to put your emotional range to good use. The same problem was present in the last episode and I just don't see them being able to fix it significantly enough at this point, even if they have a desire to. Not to undermine that, but there were a couple good points in this scene: Aang mentions something about bending being "beyond thought" which gives bending a more spiritual aspect that I like, and Katara's PTSD is brought up again in an intelligent way, but still, that doesn't matter if they're going to completely butcher her character. (side note: when is Aang going to learn waterbending? they haven't shown him training at all and I'm getting worried)

This scene was fine or whatever but what in the absolute fuck is going on with Zuko and Zhao? Are they not going to do the agni kai? Like I know there's still animosity there but they were really just sitting there (semi)-calmly enjoying a cup of tea and demonstrating only mild dislike for each other. All I have to say is if they remove the agni kai altogether I'm gonna be so fucking pissed it'll bug me forever and I'll be fucking insufferable.

Also Zuko is so mean to Luitenient Jee for no reason. I know it's because his abuse makes him see any kind of comradery as weakness so it's a good detail if that's what they're going for but ngl I also find it a bit funny. Like what did he ever do to you? And Zhao taking three tries to pass his officer exam is so perfect too like what a fucking looser lmao.

Ba Sing Se looks beautiful. There's something so mystical about it, especially in the way Aang describes it as they walk up to the gate. It's this hub of culture and science and art, but it's also incredibly militaristic and so changed due to war it's almost unrecognizable to someone who was there a hundred years ago. The adaptation of cultures during times of change is something ATLA does so well and I'm glad to see that it's continuing in the LA.

AHH Katara was so awkward during this whole scene and I loved it. For one thing Sokka's commentary was absolutely hilarious but it's also this reminder that Katara has been relatively isolated from other children her age and her brain is like "cute boy flirt how" and its so fucking funny. It might not be the same Katara as the cartoon who is effortlessly comfortable wherever she goes but this is so much more realistic and if she's going to be a bit different this is probably the best thing for them to change (now keep the awkwardness and give her back her anger Netflix I'm begging you)

I am slightly concerned because it looks to me like they're trying to condense at least four episodes into one and I'm not sure if that's going to be a cohesive plotline or a complete mess or not but if handled carefully I think they might be able to pull it off.

Ooooh the explosion was super unexpected and totally cray cray thanks for keeping me on my toes. I'm assuming it was Jet that planted the bomb although I cannot for the life of me think why. Anyways Teo was adorable I'm adopting him.

Also I am so so so happy that they gave him a little more depth beyond just 'happy glider kid' and gave a bit more nuance to his character. Of COURSE kids who grew up in war are going to be desensitized to the bloodshed OF COURSE they're going to be a little vengeful and be thinking about ways to win the war OF COURSE Aang is going to be uncomfortable with that because he didn't grow up with that militaristic mindset even if he did loose everything OF COURSE that's not going to change the fact that kids grow up hearing about death and experiencing loss as extremely young children versus Aang being suddenly thrust into this responsibility and grief because he didn't grow up like that he grew up in peacetime it just makes sense. Good job Netflix this was wonderful this was perfect I loved it.

Okay don't get me wrong I love the way Aang wears his heart on his sleeve I love how their in-the-face storytelling makes a bit more sense with how open and emotional of a person he is it's just part of his character that was improved upon by the LA in my opinion but this is also just... such a misunderstanding of the group dynamic. Like why isn't Katara seeing these people and thinking "I can help with this I have to help with this" and Aang giving this speech to Sokka jumping on the bandwagon? I would even accept them seeing the destruction together and mutually deciding that they need to help the people there (this would probably be best as it allows us to see both character's compassion) or Aang saying something about it and Katara immediately being like "ur absolutely right" but of course they can't do that all we need is a lengthy speech from the protagonist while Katara stands there like robot girl. My mistake.

STOP because her mocking face is so fucking perfect I love Elizabeth Yu she's perfect. Anyway, I think that they're kind of... adjusting her trauma a bit? I mentioned earlier how I feel like she's shown as a little more scrappy and an underdog as opposed to perfectly calculating and not a hair out of place, but after this scene I feel the need to expand on that. In the cartoon, Azula's abuse from her father centers around his unattainably high expectations for her that eventually cause her ultimate breakdown and the conclusion to her devastating character arc. But in the LA, they're portraying her as less of a prodigy and more of a hard worker. She still has incredibly high expectations, but in this version, she never meets them all the time. Her brother is almost leveraged against her in a way. Even if she feels like she is the best and has the constant need to prove she is the best to her father, there's always going to be this nagging insecurity that she won't be good enough to measure up to her brother. She's not being told she's worthless like Zuko, but she's not reaching every goal like cartoon Azula, either. This also might explain why she has arrows. In the cartoon, weapons are viewed with disdain by firebenders, making Zuko using them so controversial, but Azula definetely doesn't seem to be hiding her talent for the bow and arrow and even if it was a her-sneaking-away-to-practice sort of situation that's not very in character and I don't think she would do that. I think in this version she probably has them because she's trying to find every possible way to prove herself to her father beyond just firebending, and mastering a weapon is a way to do that. I'm not sure how I feel about these changes but she is clearly a different character in this version than in the cartoon and moving forward I'm going to treat her as such. (I've noticed this a bit with all of the characters except possibly Sokka: they're different people. I think this actually might be intentional. [even so I still don't like their characterization of Katara her trauma hasn't changed very much to my knowledge she should still have the same core drives and character traits])

As well done as Azula was, there was relatively nothing in the Ty Lee and Mai department. They're just kind of existing, watching her train. Ty Lee is vaguely cheerful (and her costume is great btw) and Mai has one line about exploring the world that gives a bit of insight into her character and has a monotone voice. They're both clearly a little scared of Azula but that's basically it. Hopefully we get more on them soon.

Back in Ba Sing Se, I noticed a bit of a parallel between Teo and Katara. The Mechanist mentions that they lost his mother due to the war, which reminded me specifically of Katara. Throughout this scene, we see that Teo remembers his mother's philosophy and adopts it into his own mindset far more than his father's. Their situation is different because while Katara is arguing for compassion Teo is arguing for fighting back, but they are both fundamentally saying the same thing. It's not enough just to accept their lot in life and try to survive or fight, it's about the big picture, and about defending the things they love. While Katara and Teo both approach this subject from a very different front, the core idea is the same. It's also telling how they are dismissed initially as idealistic for their values when they are really upholding what their mothers stood for in their eyes: for Teo, a symbol of hope in her retellings of the stories of the avatar, and for Katara, a symbol of kindness in her reminders to remain empathetic despite the horrors of war. Make of this what you will, I just thought it was a nice little parallel.

Anyway, allow me to have a few words on the whole Jet thing (in bullet points because I don't have enough brain power to do this)

I'm glad Jet got his freedom fighters outfit. I was a bit worried when I saw what he was wearing in the first scene he was in because the fit is iconic, and so are the swords

God he's so fucking dramatic "they call me Jet" while the sun glints off his swords and he turns slightly for affect it was so funny I laughed out loud

He and Kia have no on-screen chemistry I'm sorry. Like even the fight scene was so awkward and every time they speak to each other they sound so stiff. They're good actors independently but whoever was watching their chemistry check (I'm assuming they had one pre-production but judging by this crap I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't) was either asleep or it was their first day because there is NOTHING there

What the hell did they do to the Freedom Fighters? They're so cheesy and the costumes are so bad (especially Smellerbee's). Like seriously that entire fight scene was so awkward idk what the hell happened there but it was nowhere near the quality of the rest of the episode so far

Overall, I'm not a huge fan. Also where is Sokka I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be there somewhere

Okay here's Sokka finally. Are they just taking him out of the Jet shenanigans entirely? I wouldn't be surprised considering how many episodes they had to condense but still I would have liked to see that. Oh well, I guess they had to have Katara do something in this episode instead of just stand around while her brother and Aang have huge plot points. Anyway, this scene was very interesting to me. Sokka and the Mechanist bonded in the og but not to this extent, and I honestly liked that they did something a bit deeper with it considering they don't have as much screentime to establish Sokka's daddy issues (for lack of a better word). Anywho the Mechanist mentioning that there are other career paths to take besides just being a warrior was super cool and I think we can glean a lot from it about Sokka's future character arc. Maybe in this version he doesn't perfectly live up to his dad's expectations and instead finds his own way? It was nice to see Hakoda proud of him in the original but if they go down this path I definitely won't be mad. It's interesting while staying true to the character, it's just a different direction.

The scene with Aang and Teo was cute. They're both good actors who play off of each other nicely, and Teo talking about how he doesn't want to follow in his father's footsteps lends a bit of insight to the conversation the Mechanist had with Sokka. He probably mentioned Sokka's dad because he wondered if his parents were engineers too and maybe is looking for a bit of an apprentice since his son doesn't take after him as much. This is also another way Teo conflicts with the Mechanist's way of life and may be more similar to his mother.

The jetara scenes at the Freedom Fighter camp had a much better dynamic. I think the fight scene was probably just them figuring each other out as actors, it just sucks that it seeped into the final take. I confess I was a bit disappointed that the Freedom Fighters didn't live up in the trees, but I guess that would be a bit difficult to engineer. I also noticed how Jet repeated Teo's "if not us, then who?" statement, which is probably just your basic commentary on how the future generations are our hope blah blah blah. It's a major theme so I shouldn't be as disinterested as I am in it but as it stands I'm still not totally thrilled with the Jet plotline as a whole and I think that may be affecting it. I feel like Sokka should be here to add some variety and spice things up a bit it's kind of boring.

The last jetara scene was definitely the best yet. I can't get over how happy I was to hear Jet say his mother taught him to fight. So often we hear how dads or older brothers are teaching the women in their family to fight but here we have a canonically badass male character saying that an older female relative was the one who taught him. One of the major complaints I have from the cartoon was how for all its talk about women being able to fight and its supposed feminist message, there were no women of the older generation fighting at all except for Jun, who wasn't even a particularly moral character like all these older men. We do have to remember that the cartoon started production over twenty years ago so it is a product of its time, when feminist issues weren't very mainstream. Another factor that might have contributed to the lack of feminism in the original was the generational discrepancies; millennials were the first to have widely accepted equal educational opportunities in the US, and even though educational opportunities are still affected by sexism, college became the norm for both male and female students at that time. This isn't to say women older than millennials didn't go to college, but this is around the time women and men started to become relatively equal as of percentage seeking higher education. Basically, they were the first generation of women expected to have careers, and therefore the writer's minds were probably shaped alongside a similar number of female peers, but primarily by men. This could have contributed to the lack of older women, but as times changed, so to did the amount of older women in professional fields. This line is a reflection of that, and I hope we continue to see more badass older women and older warrior women and women in power as the LA continues.

Other than that, I did take my shipping goggles out during this scene at the "sunrise" bit, and it wasn't about jetara. I heard from other fans in the zutara tag that the "you rise with the moon, I rise with the sun" line was removed but I keep thinking about how Katara is legitimately drawing power from remembering the sun rising, a time when the opposite element, Zuko's element, becomes more powerful. I know I'm reaching, but while I mourn the loss of our beloved "you rise with the moon, I rise with the sun" I have to find a new version. Anyway I think we should call this sunrisegate lol

Also, the way Katara is extremely hesitant to talk about her trauma whereas Jet seems completely fine with being emotional and dumping out exactly what he was feeling may have been a device but it does remind me of something I read about how ppl with PTSD will often react very differently when sharing their trauma and the same is true for many other trauma induced disorders. It was probably unintentional but I still thought it was a nice detail.

Anyway on a less serious note Iroh and Zuko's dynamic is still top tier. I've seen a lot of people complaining about Iroh's character but I don't see anything wrong up to this point. I might be in for a shock in future episodes but I have genuinely no idea what they find so off putting. He's a great actor and the character has legitimately not changed. The line above was a bit undercut by the fact that he's standing in the middle of an enemy city with a cloth half wrapped around his face to keep part of his face from being seen, but I'm just gonna take it at face value (haha pun). I think the thing Zuko despises most is cowardice, and it affects his perception of the war in a huge way. He calls Aang a coward for escaping from prison because he was running away or whatever and I've never considered Zuko a particularly logical character but it's like... bruh he's outnumbered like fifty to one what he is gonna do? Anyway his definition of cowardice is directly tied to his honor and his perception of it in relation to his trauma and the way he held back in the agni kai and him perceiving that as cowardice maybe... Ya'll got me? This isn't fully formed because I obviously haven't seen this new rendition of the agni kai but I'm guessing the events are basically the same. Do with it what you will.

I skipped over the Azula and Zhao scene because I don't have any groundbreaking commentary except to say that I liked it. It ties Azula into the story nicely and gives Zhao something actually interesting about him (I don't hate him as much as I did in the cartoon so whenever he comes up on screen I just sort of yawn).

Anyway, it was nice to see Katara get a bit angry. I think this captured the gaang dynamic pretty well. Aang being relatively neutral/ quiet while the siblings argue and Katara gets twice as mad as Sokka. Also he may have had the last word but she had the last laugh:

Again, the sibling dynamic was really great but I didn't feel like Katara was carrying it as much as in previous episodes. Sokka actually played his part in making it interesting and realistic. I don't think this single argument is enough to redeem Katara's characterization in my eyes but at least we know now there is a little spark there.

AHH THE SCARF SCENE! Scarfgate was everything I could have asked for and more. Like why does he appear directly behind her like that unless he's trying to fight her? Why does he just let her go by like that? Why does he hold out his hand in the first place? Truly is the Watergate of our time it deserves that name. (also in the same episode as the whole sunrise thing? come on) I'm probably being baited but at least I'm enjoying it.

So I was right about the bombings! I can't believe all those cute little kids are terrorists but I couldn't believe it in the cartoon either so I guess that checks out. Either way I find the bombing far less forgivable than trying to take out the Mechanist. Innocent civilians were hurt and even though I know there was a real possibility that civilians could have been hurt in the attempted bombing for whatever reason it just seems... more brutal somehow. Like the first one was in the center of town, you know? Anyway terrorism is wrong I hope Jet finds his way.

(I was worried about how they were going to tie all the seemingly unrelated plotlines together but I think they pulled it off. Again my main problems were all concentrated around the Jet plotline but when the Mechanist was tied in it became a lot more interesting)

When I heard this I was like "son ur about to get ur ass kicked" but the funny part is he was kind of right. Like when neither of them were bending he was winning. I guess in all fairness he is a lot bigger than Aang but I don't feel like that was an accidental detail. Anyway, I think this fight scene was the most entertaining yet and so much better than jetara against the firebenders earlier. Maybe the affects for water are just worse than air and fire (it feels slower somehow) but I'm very partial to this fight. And that's saying something because I usually fast-forward through fight scenes or just kind of tune them out or barely watch, so you know it was really good.

I think the reason I liked it so much was that it was funny, honestly, not in the same way or to the same degree the cartoon was but I laughed out loud a couple times. For instance Zuko gets hit in the face three times in the span of ten seconds, once with a plate, once with a wicker basket, and once with his own little stick thing. Aang also put a basket over his head and some random ass lady started whacking him with a fan. Kudos to whoever choreographed that it was the best.

Also I liked how Sokka and Katara saved the day together. Cute sibling bonding excersize. And it ended on a cliffhanger with the characters separated! My favorite kind of cliffhanger! It definitely left me wanting more.

Anyway, to recap, things I didn't like:

No Zuko and Zhao agni kai

Mai and Ty Lee were just sort of there

Katara's characterization is still so-so

Jetara plot line was boring and chemistry was not the best

It was kind of a lot for one episode, even if they managed to do it well

Things I did like:

Opening scene

Azula characterization

Teo

The Mechanist plotline

Teo and Katara parallel

Katara DID actually seem a little bit more firey in this episode

SCARFGATE

Zuko and Aang fight scene

Surprisingly good handling of all those loose ends

Cliffhanger

Overall, I would give it a 9/10. That's the highest score I've given an episode so far and I'm standing by it. I know others might have a very different opinion on it since it was condensed so much and differed a lot from the cartoon, but I agreed with many of the changes they made. One thing I would urge everyone to remember is that these are different characters from the cartoon. They're going to act slightly different and have slightly different journys and that's okay. I think it is worth comparing to the original, as it is an adaptation, but we need to remember that an adaptation is not an exact replica, nor should it be. That in no way means that we should make allowances for anything we found negative or mediocre, but it is going to be different and change in it of itself isn't a bad thing. Anyway thank you guys so much for sticking with me! I'll probably have the next episode's debrief up by tomorrow.

[sacramental-pain]

Priest x male reader Part 1/? word count: 922 You wake up from what feels like the longest sleep of your life. Neck a bit stiff, a headache lingering. While your eyes slowly adapt to the soft sunlight coming into the room from somewhere, you don’t know yet, you quickly remember that you aren’t home. Beside the bed is a messy table, yours gets like that when you’re working too many hours. Still disoriented you look around the room while you attempt to sit up without making your pain worse. On the floor are a pair of jeans, ones that have been moulded to its owner and bleached by the sun. They aren’t yours. The door to the bedroom opens after a knock.

“Hey, I thought I’d wake you up, it’s getting late”

His face is somewhat familiar, its not the first time you have seen him, but you can't quite place him. You tell him it’s fine, and that you’ll be getting up and out soon.

“You don’t want to stay for dinner?”

What time was it? Dinner? How long did you sleep? You notice how hungry you are, then how dry your mouth feels.

“Sure, if you don’t mind”

“Of course not, you should get some food into your system after sleeping for so long. And on the other hand, I owe you.”

Owe you? You're afraid to ask, so you simply look at him, hoping he elaborates. He doesn't. "I'll leave you to it" he says in a gentle tone, leaving you alone in the bedroom again.

With the night before feeling like a complete mystery, you get up, warm feet touching cold, wooden floors. The clothes you wore the night before are folded on a chair in the corner of the room, beside it a towel, but you do not feel like taking a shower just yet. As you get dressed you wonder where your spontaneous, uncareful self has ended up this time. "There you are, would you like some coffee? Or maybe water, actually, let me get you some water" You accept the water and move your way into the livingroom as instructed. The first sip triggers an overwhelming thirst, you chug the whole glass and hope that nausea doesn't catch up with you. As you stand awkwardly in the middle of the room, watching the half-familiar man mess about in his ktichen, you try your best to gather any information on where you are. There is a clock on the wall reading 4pm. You really did sleep for a long time. There are shelves with books and plants, newspapers scattered here and there. In the corner is a well used armchair with a small coffee table on the side, a tired book resting on it. Being a reader yourself, you curiously walk over to check it out. You put your glass down and pick up the book. The Holy Bible, filled with sticky notes and book tabs sticking out on the side. "I see you've found my nook" The realisation of who he is leaves you with a million questions. You have only seen him once or twice before, as he arrived just as you moved away for university and stopped attending mass as your parents finally realised they couldn't force you anymore. Did you spend your night out with the priest? There was no way anything could have possibly happened between the two of you. What did he owe you? "Yeah, it's nice, looks comfortable"

"It is, I spend a lot of time there. Dinner is ready soon" A bit early for dinner, but you don't mind. All you want to do is find out what happened, and then get out. What if you slept with him? He was only a decade older than you, but the age gap would not be the biggest problem. You could never show your face in town again. What if somebody saw you? Could the priest defend himself against churchmembers finding out he slept with a man? Not that you care too much, but it would be a first for you, and definitely another level of impulsiveness. "Great, thanks" you reply, and with some hesitation you stop the priest before he returns to the kitchen, "I'm sorry, but I'm honestly struggling to remember anything from last night" "Oh" he says, "you got really drunk, and I figured it was better to come here than to send you home on your own" "You found me out and about?" He explains that he was on his way home from his friends place, he had stayed way later than planned, and he saw you attempting to order food at a food truck. "You said you owe me?" "For the food. You insisted on getting me something as well" Relief. Not too bad. Embarrassing, but nothing you can't get over. You give him the same look as before, hoping he says more without you having to ask.

"We shared a bed, I hope that's okay, my back does not do well on the couch, and I didn't want to put you through sleeping on it either" You look over at the old couch, thankful that he didn't let you sleep there. Once again you feel relieved, but a little thought of what it would have been like if you actually slept with him crept in on you. "Okay" you reply, "so nothing happened?" "What would that be?" he asks, a hint of unexpected curiosity in his voice.

"I don't know"

"Right" he says.

"Right" you repeat. He returns to the kitchen.

[oneeyedoctogod]

Disclaimer: long, extremely personal rant. Yes, it's also about mdzs and Jiang Cheng but mainly, it's about me trying to deal with my own trauma when I'm being hit in the face (metaphorically) with it by putting my feelings into words. The posting is so I don't erase it and force myself to forget about it.

You know it's funny, but as I was trying to sleep (and failing. Badly. It's 2:38 am.) I kept on finding myself thinking about why I didn't like Jiang Cheng. Because you see, it's rare for me to dislike a character that much, to the point I actually have blacklisted all his tags and avoid any fics that talk about him positively.

(Again, this is an extremely personal post about my own feelings. This is not meant as a rebuke if you love him. On the contrary. Keep doing what sparks joy. Just, you know, far away from me.)

I have a funny history with the mdzs fandom. I first started watching the donghua when it started airing back in... 2018? 2019? Can't remember for sure. Then I was left hungry for more because only the first season had aired, and it ended on a big cliffhanger. I saw it was an adaptation, so I went looking for the source material... and found the manhua (I was used to japanese animation at that point and thought that was it). The manhua was also being fan translated, and despite being extremely different (and confusing for poor past me), ALSO left me on a cliffhanger. I was desperate and saw someone pointing out there was a novel! I finally found it, read it in a few nights, and loved it. I read a bunch of fics, enjoyed myself, met and befriended people. Then I moved on after a while. I remember, distinctly, that I wasn't a big fan of Jiang Cheng but that I could at least stomach him in fics.

Last December, I felt the urge to reread some mdzs fics. I read some popular ones and, after falling into the animatics and amvs rabbit hole, decided to rewatch the donghua. Except for some reason, Jiang Cheng's character rubbed me wrong. I remembered not liking him much but he wasn't that bad in the fics so I couldn't see why he was so distasteful in the donghua. I'd been warned that the donghua wasn't that faithful (my own memory was extremely hazy), so I just shrugged it off. Maybe the people behind the donghua weren't fans of jc?

I saw there was an official translation of the novel and, by that point, DEEP into the hyper fixation, I bought all four available volumes and read them. At the same time, I was still reading fics. It was fine after all, I already knew the story.

By then, I had realized something was a little wrong with the characteristization. Some of the tropes given to Wei Wuxian rubbed me the wrong way. I looked it up a little (remade a tumblr, found amazing meta, the rest is history) and figured "Ah that must be cql fics. That's the problem."

And yes, that's true. In part.

The other problem lies with the particular way some people write Jiang Cheng. I'll be clear again: I have nothing against those people. Most of them I don't know and I'm aware this is very much a, shall we say, "me" problem. It's why I avoid the positive Jiang Cheng content. I don't care if you keep writing it so long as you keep it away from the canon jc tag.

But whenever people write Jiang Cheng and completely erase his crimes and abuse of both Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling, I feel it like a slap on the face.

Last Monday, I saw a therapist and talked about her about many things (I did warn this would be a very personal post). Part of it was my mother and her treatment of me and my brothers. And after barely a few words, she said, very simply "Oh so your mother abused you."

I already knew that. I use those words myself to describe my history with her. But the validation is always nice to hear, you know? Especially because so many people try or have tried to brush it off as "nothing." My own mother did, both about her own behaviour and when I was being abused by other people and tried to seek her help. Hell, even I still do it sometimes.

And I think that's why I hate Jiang Cheng so damn much now. His canon self is... Well, I'm not a fan, but he's a well-written antagonist. But dear gods, I've seen so many people brush off his canon characteristics to make him into a more palatable character, the loving uncle, the funny tsundere brother, the ace guy who hates mushy romance (let me tell you, as an ace person I am also real fucking tired of homophobic characters being hc as ace)... Even the ones who mention his bad parts feel the need to immediately add his achievements, as if they don't dare speak badly of their fave. "Yes, he tortured Wei Wuxian, but he also sacrificed his core to save him!" "Yes, he hit and verbally abused Jin Ling, but he also lovingly raised him!" "Yes, he tortured and killed innocent people but he also has trauma and had to lead a sect when he was so young!"

And this feels familiar, every time. This feels like the people telling me "Yes but it's not that bad" or saying "Yes your mother gave you panic attacks but she made sure you didn't fail at school" or "Yes but she made you love reading" or "Yes but she gave you so much, don't be selfish" or "Yes but she was here for you when you were depressed" or "Yes but she has it hard too" until I fell in the habit of saying "Sure, my mother insulted me and threatened me financially and there was a long, long time I was convinced she didn't love me... but."

Always that damn BUT.

So you might be able to understand why I have a hard time with Jiang Cheng when people pull the same shit all thenfucking time. I'm working on it because I'd rather not be stuck feeling anxious about a silly purple grape just because he happens to be fandom fave in my current hyperfixation but in the meantime, I have to deal with it and it's... annoying. To say the least.

(I'm going to insist here: I know that Jiang Cheng isn't my mother. That's not the point here. I am fully aware he's a fictional character and that me feeling that way is something I should be working on. I am. And I'm not telling people to stop writing positive content for him. This is just me trying to put into words my complicated feelings for a complicated character. And ranting, a little bit, about badly tagged fics I admit.)

It's easier on social media. You just block the characters tag and, if people bother you about it, you block them. Friends being friends, I just need to tell them "I don't feel comfortable talking about this character" or "let's agree to disagree on this interpretation" and because my friends are the best, they agree and we move on.

Fanfiction is where the problem lies.

I know why people erase the 'hard' parts, or at least I have a good guess. It's easier that way. Fanfiction is about having fun! It's about writing about your blorbos the way you want to! I don't want to police anyone's content. I'd just like it if people tagged their OOC and stopped trying to make me feel as if I'm the one who misread the book because I don't feel like erasing the canonical abuse this character did or because I don't like that they keep putting down my favorite character to uplift theirs.

I'm not sure how to conclude this. I should be sleeping honestly.

Let's try this: if you read this to the end, congrats I guess. I want to reiterate I don't care if you make Jiang Cheng into the most loving, best brother and uncle ever. Just be aware of what you're erasing first. And tag your goddamn fics.

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 29 !!!

we're in the second half of season 2 batchersss (was gonna say were in the end game now but I'll save that for tomorrow 😫)

The Bad Batch 2x09

her voice 🥲 she sounds so down it hurts

"sounds dangerous" *giggles* ilysm Wrecker 💕

Hunter sniffing dirt again hehe

Tech says "without Echo" and Omega immediately droops her head 😫

creeper peekin 👀

I love how Wrecker was carrying the case with one hand and Hunter needs two and keeps adjusting it 💪

Wrecker checking in on Omega 🤲

oop Omega dramatic sigh count 👀

Hunter lifting Omega up 🥺

"chain reaction, explosion got it 🙄" tbb dealing with teenage fett mood swings now

gentle hands 🤲

that is not your ship kid 👀

Hunter slams the highly dangerous explosives into the ground lmaooo

Hunter hearing the ship power up !!! his turns so fast and jumps over the stairs 🙌

the bickering batch

they're literally all so feral at each other rn 😮

Wrecker giving Omega water first 🥺

she's calling Echo for help 😭

Tech knows he disabled his comms... have they been chattin 👀

Hunter's senses on fire this ep 👌

Hunter pushing Omega in front of him and steering her out of the way 🙌

the Lion King ???

Tech: "protect the ipsium!" Wrecker: bruh 😑

the ipsium survived Hunter slamming it on the ground I'm sure it'll be fine

Wrecker: "why don't you carry it 😠" Tech: "fine" lolol

Tech is so strong omg he carried it like Wrecker 👀

Omega needs something to cover her face in this sandstorm 🥲 give her a helmet

THEY'RE SO SHITTY BOYS CALM DOWN !!!

Omega bby someone hug her !!!!! 😫😭

"what is your issue" 💔

how soft Hunter said her name 🥺🤲

Tech doesnt understand the emotional connection she has to everything but they probably all struggle to see that being soldiers, they're taught to let go of things, stay in the moment to be able to be the best they can, she's just a kid who wants her brother and her home back after just losing everything, I can completely understand both sides of this 🥲 I'm blabbing and it's not making sense anymore 🙃

"thats not the only mistake you need to fix" Hunter's dad mode applies to Tech now too

Tech: "but she said she wanted to be alone" 🥺

they're getting so much better at the whole dad/big brother thing 💕

Tech said her name so gently 😭

Omega and Tech having the same ideas 🥰

"I am fully aware you are capable of the task" 🥺

TECH BLINDLY FOLLOWING OMEGA WHEN SHE FALLS MY HEART

oop I forgot the 😫 Tech falls count: we're on 5 now

THE WAY HE GRABS HER IN THE WATER OML 😭 he was so desperate to save her

Hunter sensing they're in trouble 👀

Not only do I love Hunter's senses but I also love how aware they all are of him, like they all question him every time he pauses or looks off at something, they're all just so aware of each other 💕

Tech and Omega lying down out of the water 🤲

Tech emptying the water from his glasses !! 🥺

"we are alive" ~ bro I love how often he responds like this I can't wait to hear it again hehehe

Omega's wet droopy hair is getting so long 🥺

"the narrow crevasse" i love the way he talks he's so fancy 💅

Putting a bunch of quotes in bc they're iconic 💕

Omega: "everything is changing and you don't even care"

Tech: "I am not sure how I should care about change, it is a fundamental part of life"

Tech: "I am aware that you miss him, but we have to adapt and move on. That's what soldiers do."

Omega: "we're more than that. We're a family aren't we?"

Tech: "yes of course we are"

Omega: "why don't you act like it?"

Tech: "Echo chose a different path, as did Crosshair. I have to respect their decision. Even though it can be difficult to understand, we must carry on. I may process moments and thoughts differently, but it does not mean that I feel any less than you"

I have to put it all in bc this scene means so much to me 🥺🤲💕

Wrecker's scream and the big *fwosshhh* landing in the water vs Hunter's tiny *bloop*

Omega's wave 🫶

the way Hunter just tosses Tech's stuff out of the water and he's still holding Omega's bow is the difference between brother and dad

wet hair Hunter when 👀

Omega "see that wasn't so bad" Wrecker: 👍

Tech being almost as precise as Crosshair 💕

Tech and Omega looking at each other 👀🤲

Hunter noticing somethings different with Omega now after talking with Tech 🥺

CID 🔫 I want to hunt her for sport fr 😈

Omega quoting Tech 💕💕💕💕

oooohhhh this ep holds a special place in my heart fr

[thinkingaboutbetterdays]

scars of the past. ( warrick brown x reader )

gif belongs to me

You were co-workers, and friends then after a particularly gruelling case that ended with Warrick taking you home, made the leap to lovers. The perks of being friends first were you had confided in each other in the last three years, seeing first-hand the emotional baggage you carried around.

Warrick knew you weren't the type to say "I love you" lightly, and when you were cuddling on the sofa in the early hours of the morning, too tired to make it to the bedroom after a long challenging case, he said those words, not expecting you to say them back. And he was fine with that. When you tensed up in his arms, he stated that he just wanted you to know how he felt.

Two weeks later you were working on an experiment and when Warrick gave you advice on how to adapt the usual method, making it a success, in an outburst of emotion you said the three words he longed to hear.

Your relationship seemed to be growing stronger until suddenly it wasn't. You were stunned when Sara suggested over breakfast with the team that you and Warrick should move in together and Warrick had looked at you across the table.

"What do you think?"

It was not how you intended the conversation to happen, and it also awakened another fear inside you. So you dodged the question, "I should get going, I could use a shower."

Warrick glared at Greg when he muttered, "Ouch."

He pursed his lips, glancing over his shoulder to find you practically fleeing the diner, and shook his head as he continued eating. Catherine knew there would be tension after that day and sure enough, in the next few days, more cracks began to appear as Warrick tried to talk to you about moving in together and you always replied that you were too busy to think about it.

Warrick grew more and more frustrated when you refused to discuss your future as a couple amidst Catherine's reminders that your last relationship hadn't ended well. Calling it a disaster wasn't enough.

You entered Grissom's office a week later, the tension between you and Warrick balanced precariously on the tipping point, ready to erupt at any moment. Catherine had tried to talk to you about your aversion to moving in with Warrick and you had brushed off her attempts, taking the blonde back with your feisty manner as you told her not to talk to you while you were working unless it had something to do with a case because she was distracting you.

You inwardly sighed when you saw Warrick sitting in front of Gil's desk and occupying the seat beside him. Warrick sat half-turned in his chair, his elbow resting on the back of the chair, glancing at you now and then as Gil assigned you both to a new case, requesting you hand over any reports for the current case you were working. Although you felt his glances, sitting rigidly in your chair as if it pained you to be near him, you never glanced in his direction.

Noticing the tension between you both Gil raised an eyebrow, looking at Warrick and then at you. "Can you work together?"

"Well, I don't have a problem." Warrick replied.

"Of course." You chimed in at the same time, finally glaring at Warrick when you realized what he said, before looking at Grissom who was sceptical, as he held out the case file.

"I want you to head out there as soon as you hand over your reports."

You nodded, reaching out to take the case file before Warrick could and headed out of the office. Gil looked at Warrick when he stood up with a sigh.

"Are you able to work together?"

"I'll talk to her."

Gil nodded, lowering his gaze to the case file he had been reviewing on his desk before he called the meeting, and Warrick left his office. Twenty minutes later you met each other at the car and Warrick opened the driver's side door, keys in hand, as he asked rhetorically, "Mind if I drive?"

You took a deep breath, muttering, "Not at all," as you climbed into the passenger side.

The drive was spent in contemplative silence. Warrick stole glances at you now and then as he pondered the best way to approach the subject that had created a rift in your relationship, while you kept your eyes on the case file Gil had given you.

There was not much to go on, but the body had been taken and identified.

"Are we just going to -"

"The body isn't there." You spoke up, and Warrick pursed his lips in annoyance. "How can we get a full view of the crime scene without seeing the body for ourselves?"

"It was a botch up. It happens from time to time. The body is the Docs job, ours is to figure out how he died, why and the sequence of events leading up to it."

Warrick parked on the street, and you both took notice of the fancy ride parked in the driveway. "You see that?"

You nodded as you searched for the license while getting out of the car. Warrick held the tape up for you to duck under as you carried your bag and tried to carry the heavy weight of your gear as you scrolled through the details of the man who owned the red Ferrari.

Warrick walked around the car and you turned to look at him when he whistled. "It's a sweet ride."

You held up your cell phone, "It's stolen." Warrick raised an eyebrow at you, and you slowly nodded. "It's a sweet ride." He smirked when you headed inside, following after you.

You took out your flashlight and shined it around the entryway where plants and the sideboard had been knocked to the floor, and the contents of the drawers spilled onto the floor. You found the living room was very much the same, and looked around while Warrick knelt down and opened his gear.

"Someone tore this place apart." You voiced as you entered the kitchen where all the cupboards and drawers had been emptied out, food covering the floor.

You re-joined Warrick in the living room, "Someone was looking for something." You stated. "There's a Ferrari parked outside in the driveway that doesn't fit in with the house. Does this place tell you that he had the kind of money to be buying fancy cars?"

"Maybe he was a drug dealer. Or a gambler." Warrick replied dryly, and you pursed your lips in annoyance, hoping that you could've set your personal issues aside for one case.

"If he's driving a Ferrari, I think he'd live in a nicer house." You set your bag down and began to gear up.

"Maybe he asked his girlfriend to move in with him and she made it look like a robbery."

You glared at Warrick who sighed, before your attention was drawn upstairs when you heard a door closing.

"I'm sorry that was -"

You waved your hand as you stood up. Warrick glanced at the doorway then at you, "What is it?"

"I thought I heard something. I'm going to take a look upstairs."

Warrick stood up and considered following you, but decided against it, believing you needed space right now. He was bagging a bullet he had dug out from the wall when he heard the sound of you calling out, and raced into the hallway, finding you at the bottom of the stairs and the front door open.

Warrick knelt beside you, holding your cheek as you rested your back against the wall, frowning when he saw the blood on your forehead.

"Go after him!" You pushed him into action and Warrick chased after the man who had pushed you down the stairs in an attempt to flee the scene. The red Ferrari was down the street when he made it to the end of the driveway and Warrick sighed as he turned to the house. He returned to help you off the ground, and you winced from the pain in your ribs as he explained that the car was gone.

"Oh, Grissom is going to love this."

Warrick shook his head, "Forget about that. You need to go to the hospital."

"I'm fine."

"You're going to a hospital," Warrick argued. "I'll call Grissom and tell him to send someone over."

You knew there was no point in arguing with him when he was so determined and lowered yourself onto the stairs, wincing in pain as Warrick took out his cell phone.

You looked up at the CSI you admired long before you got together. Your feelings for Warrick began when you were still in a relationship, and although you trusted him more than anyone else, you could never tell him the truth about your ex-boyfriend. But now you felt it was time to explain why you dodged his attempts to ask you to move in with him.

"I don't want to move in with you." You spoke up and he turned to you, shaking his head.

"We don't need to hash this out now -"

"I want to." You took a deep breath, "When my ex and I first moved in together everything changed. He wasn't always like that, but after living together for a couple of weeks he began to change. He was more aggressive, the way he looked at me - it was as if he hated me so deeply it sickened him." You blinked away the tears forming in your eyes, "I couldn't survive something like that a second time. I couldn't stand to watch you start to hate me so much that it destroys you."

Warrick knelt in front of you when you looked down at your hands that were resting on your lap. "Hey, look at me." You met his gaze when he placed a hand over your hands. "I could never hate you."

"What if you do? What if I ruin what we have and -"

Warrick held both your hands in his and gave them a squeeze, lifting his right hand to wipe away the tears that fell down your cheeks. "Your ex was a dick. And every time I think of him putting his hands on you, my blood boils, and I want to kill him. And I swear I could go through with it. Nothing he did was because of you, that was all him. You are a wonderful," a smirk formed on his lips, "sexy, smart woman. And I'd love to spend the rest of my life loving you. I want you to be the last thing I see when I fall asleep and the first thing I see when I wake up. I'd ask you to marry me if I thought I'd get a definite yes." He held your gaze as he continued, "I love you. And I'm sorry for reacting the way I did, behaving the way I have been."

You smiled softly, placing a hand on the curve of his neck. "I love you too."

Warrick heard the sounds of a car pulling up outside. He kissed your forehead before standing up to greet Catherine and Sara who entered the house.

"Are you okay?" Catherine asked, following Warrick to where you were sitting.

"I think I'll live." You sent her a smile. "I traced the license plate but the car was reported stolen three months ago."

Sara asked what the man who attacked you looked like and your brow furrowed in thought, and you grimaced as you tried to give as much detail as possible. Warrick held a hand out to you and you accepted his help to get to your feet.

"I'm going to take her to the hospital."

"Don't worry, we'll handle everything here," Catherine replied. "Let me know what happens."

Warrick nodded and you held onto his arm as he guided you to the car, opening and closing the door for you. When he was behind the wheel, he looked over at you, signs of drowsiness beginning to show from your head wound.

"Can you talk to me?" You asked softly, blinking the spots away from your eyes, your head resting on the headrest.

"What do you want to talk about?" He reached over to hold your hand and you covered your joined hands with your right hand.

"Tell me what a morning waking up with you would be like." You smiled as you looked over at the CSI whose head turned several times, eyes flickering from the road to you.

Warrick chuckled, a smile forming on his lips. "Alright,"

You listened with a smile as he began to list the many benefits of living together and you closed your eyes as you pictured the moments he described. You knew it was time to let go of the past and look into a future with the man you loved more than anyone. He was protective but not smothering, every touch was tender and every kiss was filled with passion. A cheeky wink in the hallway would make your knees feel weak and the smirk that followed, seeing the reaction, made your heart race.

"I'll have to clear out a few things." You spoke quietly as you opened your eyes to meet his surprised gaze.

"I'll take a few days off to help." He replied with a smile.

You mirrored his smile as he brought your hand to his lips, seeing the head wound was making you tired. "Don't go to sleep. We'll be there soon." He turned on the siren and the lights and you observed him as he drove, the lights flickering across his features as he determinedly made his way through the streets, cutting the time in half.

Warrick carried you inside and remained by your side throughout your examination, listening intently when the doctor explained how often you would require pain medication and limited activity until your ribs healed.

He stepped out as the doctor administered the first dose to answer a call from Grissom asking for an update on the state of your condition and when he returned minutes later he knew the pills were working from your goofy grin that made him chuckle.

Warrick guided you back to the car once you were cleared to go and you looked at the sky pensively as he opened the door.

"Limited activity...does that include sex?"

Warrick laughed as you climbed into the car, a pout on your lips. He shook his head as he helped you fasten your seatbelt. "I'm sure we can think of something."

You placed a hand on his cheek, closing the small gap between you, and pressing your lips to his. "I love you."

"I love you too."

When you returned to the lab, walking through the hallways hand in hand before briefly parting while Warrick spoke to Gil and you went to collect your things from your locker, you realized you weren't ready to part with him. Warrick entered the locker room to empty his locker and you looked up at him when he took the bag from your hands.

He held the two bags effortlessly over his shoulder, holding your hand in his left hand and you rested your head on his shoulder as you made your way out of the lab.

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

Warrick smiled down at you, seeing you yawn into your hand.

"You read my mind."

You smiled when he kissed your forehead as you headed to the car. "When we move in together, whose bed are we sleeping in?"

"Yours is much better than mine."

"And bigger." You agreed. "But I still want snuggles."

Warrick chuckled as he raised an eyebrow at your term. The next few days were going to be filled with moments like this, the pain meds lowering your guard a little. "Of course." He held the car door open for you as you got inside. "I can't resist your snuggles."

You sent him a goofy grin after buckling your seatbelt and he chuckled as he closed the door, placing the bags in the trunk of the car before getting behind the wheel.

For the next three days, you were off active duty and when he wasn't out working a case, Warrick was by your side in the lab, or finding reasons to walk by where you were working and wink at you.

Catherine witnessed such a moment when you were working on an experiment together and looked at Warrick then at you as you smiled into your microscope.

"Things seem to be going great between you two."

"I've decided to move in with him. He's coming over this weekend to help move some boxes over." You replied, lifting your head to meet her gaze with a small smile.

Catherine smiled as she touched your arm affectionately. "I'm glad you worked things out. You both deserve to be happy."

You looked out the glass to see Warrick walking with Nick and raised an eyebrow. He pointed down the hallway he had walked down moments before, silently conveying he had come this way just to see you. You shook your head with a smile and from Nick's smirk he intended to tease Warrick.

"We are."

You had finally let go of scars from the past, and Warrick had ridden himself of a few demons of his own. And without it, your relationship flourished. As she watched you leave the lab together that night Catherine swore she could hear wedding bells.

[olderthannetfic]

Tumblr seems to be sliding in a downward spiral, and it feels like the start of the end of a fandoming era for me. I've been through it before; platforms are born then die, and life fandom finds a way. I'm just not looking forward to floundering for a bit, and dreading what the next hub will look like.

AO3 isn't really a place geared or meant for the same thing, and that's fine. My only fandom-related activity took place on AO3 only for a few years between my leaving LJ and joining Tumblr, and I lived ;-) But during that time, I was my own little island in fandom. Reading, leaving a few comments, not being super active. It's only when I found a community again that I was back to being really active in fandom once more.

And it's not that I actually use Tumblr to post about myself, but I do use it to read and reblog cool things - art, gifsets, science stuff, discovering new fandoms, and the like. I'm not sure where else I could find my people, with sameish purposes. The other sites I've tried didn't fill that niche in a way that suited me, in part because of how they look and work, in part because of who and what is(n't) there.

I have DW & PF accounts just to be safe, but I'm not very fond of group chats Discord-style - and without Tumblr, IDK how I'd even hear of new communities where I might pop in once in a while, loins girdled and everything. The micro-blogging platforms are not what I'm looking for either. Sure, I can follow a few DW comms and blogs; I already occasionally do and I will be more consistent about it if I must.

But one of my greatest fear is that the next platform will be phone-based, app-only, or some such BS - and that is something I just won't be able to deal with. Phones are tiny, it's uncomfortable to write anything, I don't like touch screen and much, much prefer a proper keyboard and a mouse (copy-pasting on a screen? (x_x) << it me), art/pics are too small to properly appreciate, a phone isn't comfy to hold for a long time for me, and the app system means you have no control over anything as a user… and that anything there must be Apple Approved, dick-free, blood-free, and tasteless. And I say this as someone who's pretty much uninterested in sex IRL or in my entertainment ;-) I still support and want the tits, the gore, the everything, and as long as I have the tools to curate - oh, wait. Curate things myself? That's not something that's popular these days, is it? It's not going to generate money, if I'm happy ;-)

So… I guess I'll play some more on Neocities, and see if anyone wants to have webrings again? (it would be fun and nostalgic, but not really viable on a large scale; people who haven't known those would just laugh and point and go on the InstaTok of the time).

So here is my little cane-waving rant of the day! I know things evolve and change and that in ten years I'll be rolling my eyes at my moping. It's only that I feel tired of moving from one shitty platform to another, of fearing I won't adapt (or more accurately won't want to adapt given the annoyance/benefit ratio) to whichever new place things will move in a few years. It's saying goodbye to a former home, moving, and hoping you'll make another home elsewhere kind of sniffles today!

--

We already know the next platform. It has been Discord for a few years now.

If you want the one after Discord, I think you're looking at waiting things out for quite a few years (or until Discord makes a major misstep as a company).

True, real time chat is not for everyone, but small discords with well-chosen channels can operate more asynchronously. Just like a lot of people who hated the look of Tumblr early on eventually capitulated, a lot of chat haters have jumped ship to Discord already.

Realistically, 90% of fandom always goes where the action is, no matter how much they claim the features make that space impossible, and 10% disappears.

We might get the 10% back on the next platform or they might leave fandom for good. There were LJ-haters who resurfaced post LJ era.

But as for where you'll find out where people are... probably AO3 author's notes.