#but it's better that way. i think

[daddy-ul]

let me second that anon and say I too would very much appreciate any and all analysis of their friendship and James POV specifically. that 95 interview where he talks about Lars being the keeper of the secrets lives in my mind rent-free

i take this as a free rant card fhkdfhkdsdf not my fault.

let's talk about mr james trust issue hetfield, starting from 90s tallica (which. 👀👀👀 every time i talk abt it to my non tallica friends they are like "wh what the fuck?" and that's the only sane response)

when I think abt the codependency twins and secrets I usually think about this James interview from Rolling Stones 93

"There's little whispers and little games and little crap that goes on. But when it comes down to a problem, something serious going on, we go to each other, and there's no bullshit. When there's something serious being talked about, it's not talked about with the other guys or with anybody else. It's like an unwritten law. And I definitely like that."

I remember reading it and going "it was... almost normal, until you specified that 1) it was a silent law 2) you liked it that way

I dont think saying that James has trust issue is something controversial or new, so im taking that for granted to focus on WHEN he gives his trust and how with Lars he constantly gave it and took it away for DECADES.

A part from the fucked up part where you relish in having a secret deep bond that separates you from the rest of your bandmates + the fact that you dont even needed to state the rule for the rule to be born... what james is saying here is "when there is something important, i can trust him" and more specifically "i choose to go to him and no one else" (and the sentiment goes both ways but lars' side is not the point here) "because i trust him and not the other guys with what i consider important".

Now, imagine knowing this, having read this interview and many more, where EVEN IN THE 90S --even at the peak of rock 'n roll lifestyles, dysfunctions, white jackets, "little games, little whispers", aesthetic debates and so on-- you remember that EVEN THEN Lars talked about how the two of them had a lot of fights but couldn't bear to let pass more than 3 minutes before going to the other and apologize. And, uno mas: you have lars going around being happy that they both had children in the same year and talking about them growing older together!

THEN, be me in 2020, finally getting the This monster lives! book (the book abt the making of SKOM) and you read this:

JAMES: [...] I want to feel some trust. (to Lars) I just feel static all the time from you. PHIL: (to James) What would it take for you to trust him? JAMES: I have no idea. PHIL: No, what would it look like? JAMES: With him? I don't know. I don't know if I've ever seen it.

apart from me being gutted (bc believe me that if my 15+ year friend said that to me i would have had trouble breathing) i was.... disoriented? perplexed? like, yeah, it was a tough period and I can imagine that James would have some difficulty trusting Lars in that moment but... the last line? talking like trusting lars or lars being trust worthy was something that never could happen?? it. it doesn't make any sense.

He is not trying to be mean or hurt lars, he is being sincere and he is honestly trying to resolve their issues. He is saying what he is feeling in the moment.

and that goes even more sideways when Lars confesses his needs and vulnerabilities regarding James and--

JAMES: It doesn't hit me right... I don't know... PHIL: Doesn't hit you right, meaning you think he's bullshitting you? JAMES: Sure.

He doesn't even trust what Lars is saying IN THIS MOMENT. Not a word from his mouth. how could it be? How you can go from being weirdly proud of having a secret cult with only two members to *move hands* this.

He says, and i quote, "because there's been twenty years of mistrust", so basically every single year of their friendship (look at me jumping out of a bridge at this part because jesus FUCK it would hurt less). And look, I dont know them, and you can lie to the press, you can lie to the fans, you can act and pretend all you want bc it's the show business -- so it could be that all the times before james lied.

But if i believed in those lies,, so had Lars bc not long after that he fucked right off the room to take a breather.

But let's put to the side this, because Phil was a good therapist and took James through his reasonings about trust and especially why he feels this distrusting towards Lars in particular:

JAMES: [...] Like, when I walked in, I wanted to hug everyone in the room, but I didn't want to hug you. There's how I felt. It's not a lack of love. I didn't feel like touching you that way. I was carrying some of that ugliness, and it's not good for me. PHIL: And when he reached out for you, did you feel it was genuine? Or would you prefer to believe it wasn't, so you could feel safe? JAMES: Sure, that's the safest way to go, for sure. PHIL: So mistrust is a defence against being hurt. I mean, the more we find a reason not to trust somebody, the safer we feel. The closest relationships have the most difficulty with trust. JAMES: Uh-huh. KIRK: That's. Uh. Pretty amazing. JAMES: Because there is so much more to get hurt with, or so much to lose.

Basically, Lars was special.

That's it. That's the deal.

What James feels towards Lars is so big, it could go so wrong, it could hurt so much- that is better not opening to it, not trusting it --him.

Knowing this, all the parentheses click shut behind.

This is a big turning point in their approach to one another, imho. On Lars' end too, but you asked abt James so I'm gonna contain myself.

But I gotta say that, in MY OPINION, ABSOLUTELY OPINIONATED VIEW BASED ON WHAT I'VE SEEN AND NOTHING ELSE SO TAKE IT FOR WAT IT IS-- Lars after this learned not to need James so much, or he tried to. He confessed that he had a special need for him, to have a special connection, on a deeper level. And, like, it happens, when it happens in friendships is BRUTAL (have you ever considered someone your absolute bff to then discover they just thought you a casual friend? IMAGINE AFTER 20 YEARS).

So, to me, it felt like... He started to ask less, to ask of James what he would ask of his other friends and no more.

What did James do?

Started to point out how Lars was instrumental in the earlier days

Gave a lot more compliments and started to consistently underline in a positive way the length of their relationship

Saying OUT LOUD that he is special to him

Doing the weird thing that he does 85% of the time when the interviewer ask about Metallica in general and he just brings up Lars, only Lars. DUDE YOU HAVE OTHER 2 BAND MEMBERS (I don't think he does it consciously sjsjsjsjs and he loves rob and kirk! BUT DUDE)

I'm gonna expand the last one BC it was the first that I noticed back then. Mind you, Lars had always had Lars Privileges™️, I'm not even listing things bc it's everywhere, but now? like, 2005/6 going forward???? James consciously and openly let him and djjeksksksksk Lars noticed and basically did what he always does (the little shit): run with it to see how far he could push. Famously from that era: he wore NAKED AND SWEATY James embroidered bathrobe, saying that if someone could, that would be him, sitting on James' special stool, because he could. and then he started saying embarrassing shit about them in front of him, with James just ignoring him or looking in the middle distance, like "why the fuck he is like that" BUT LETTING HIM.

>>>>>> he lets them do whatever the fuck he wants with him.

HE STARTED TO SPELLING IT OUT, HE IS NOT AFRAID ANYMORE.

Where is the gifset abt the XXX anniversary where James said "I know that Lars is doing stuff behind me" --and Lars immediately starting doing that-- "but it's okay because only Lars can do that".

All of this to say: they always have been like this to a degree, now James just lets himself (and Lars) live it as it is.

Look at them being sixty and living their best weirdo life.

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[verflares]

just how long is forever? // not long enough, with you

pssst. check this out on inprnt :]

[ghosted-jazz]

I hope they got that microwave in the break room

Bonus version with different outfit colours:

[chloesimaginationthings]

How Jeremy Fitzgerald survived the FNAF bite

[linkcharacter]

Thinking

a follow up

[lgbtlunaverse]

Nothing will dispell the "the curtains were just blue" myth faster than writing something yourself, because the amount of pretentious symbolism i am putting in my silly little fanfics is ridiculous. I mean SO much with these words, literally every single one of them. This fic has twenty five typos and zero correct uses of punctuation but if there's curtains you bet your ass I put thought into what colour they were.

[linterteatime]

Maybe you worry too much

[freshbeeth]

two queens maximizing their joint slay

[hinamie]

9 / 266

[doomdoomofdoom]

Kamala Harris does want "transgender surgery on illegal aliens that are in prison", btw.

So since Trumpists are getting mad enough about the jokes to actually cite their sources, I thought I'd put the source out into my left extremist commie faggot echo chamber, too.

The claim originates from an ACLU questionnaire she filled out for her 2020 presidential candidacy, specifically this section:

She wasn't given a new questionnaire for 2024, and has stated that while her policy on some things may have changed, her values had not. (This most likely means she moved more to the center to appease larger demographics and cut corners to reach compromises. The basic politician stuff.)

It boils down to this: If you're in prison, whether for "illegal" immigration or other crimes, you rely on the state to provide you with necessary amenities, like food and health care. Her argument isn't "hell yeah everyone in prison should get sex changes for free". It's "gender affirming surgery is a necessary medical procedure. If you are in the states care while this becomes necessary, the state should provide it." If you're outraged by your tax money being used on this, consider the massive amount of people being incarcerated in for-profit prisons, on your dime. Then ask yourself if maybe a prison reform might be in order.

Worth noting: In 2015, while Attorney General, Kamala Harris actually argued against providing gender-affirming surgery to an incarcerated trans woman, claiming that HRT and psychotherapy were sufficiently covering her medical needs. She has since obviously changed her stance and assumed responsibility. (I would like to take this moment to remind my fellow left extremist commie faggots that "willingness to learn and rethink your views" is infinitely more valuable than "perfect from the start and unwilling to listen to anyone")

Also found in the source: This image of Kamala Harris participating in the 2019 San Francisco Pride Parade, wearing what I believe to be a sequin rainbow embroidered denim jacket.

I encourage you to read the provided CNN article and the answers to the ACLU questionnaire, as they give great insight into her values.

TLDR: Based.

[plumadot]

warmup with some of my favourite sunshine people ;v; <3

[tempo-takoyaki]

"Are you satisfied yet?"

[omnificent-orion]

one more warm summer one last

[whatdoinose]

you don't stop getting percieved as whatever sex they assume you first had when you come out btw.

come out as a trans man to your school? youre a weird girl that is also trans. you are hated. you have 0 of the privelege of being treated as not a woman and all the horribleness of bigotry. you are whatever gender that will harm you most.

.

"oh sorry u cant go on this school trip because yr not a girl and they dont wanna room with you and if you room with any men you are horribly unsafe"

"oh sorry you don't wanna be sexually harassed? well yr a man who cares? this is punching up. be a man why are you upset?"

"mm you have no say here actually cuz youre a GIRL and girls don't have a voice here. ur body my choice tehe"

and many more.

.

all of these things can be directed at the same person. you are not more priveleged than other trans people cuz some losers out there have the most basic radfem ass understanding of how oppression works. you culd pass perfectly but the moment they know you are trans you will experience the harmful intersectionality between misogyny and transphobia. to deny that ever happened and that there are complex experiences out there is to deny trans people of their oppression. no matter your intention it is horrible and self harming to the community.