#but it's also kinda a lesson in the sort of job i Don't wanna do when i graduate lmao

[somedayking]

u know that feel that’s like i don’t hate my job but also i don’t love my job even tho i don’t have a Solid Reason to dislike it,,, i feel like i got too hyped up abt having my Dream Castle Job nd now it’s like.  surprise it’s just a thing i have to do to earn money and also because i signed a contract so i gotta be here for the next 5 weeks

[laikuh]

No pressure to answer, but how long have you been a teacher? What would you say the positives/negatives are?

i don't mind! i'm going into my fifth year teaching elementary.

positives:

kids are amazing. like. amazing. today one of my students apologized for drawing a picture that was too scary bc he drew himself as a blood-covered zombie child, and then made a scary face and was like, "i'm not a normal kid, i just wanna be a zombie when i grow up" like fuck yeah, i love you, zombie dude.

summers off are sort of overstated (i had 6 weeks vs 3 months) BUT i will take 6 guaranteed weeks off every year, plus 5 assorted other weeks throughout the school year, over an office job where getting time off is a lot more difficult

depending on what you do with the job, there can be a lot of rewarding meaning in what a teacher does. this is, to be completely blunt, depending on your skill and patience with kids that challenge you. are you willing to work with the kid who tries to kill himself and climb the fence and screams bloody murder multiple times a week? what about the kid who has to be locked out of your room after tearing it apart and bangs on the door repeatedly while you have to sit with your class and comfort them and tell them that student is having a hard time and still deserves kindness? obvi these are extreme scenarios, but i had 3 kids like this my very first year, and knowing they left my classroom every day feeling loved and seen by me does mean a lot to me. im still their favorite teacher three years later for a reason, and so getting into teaching means being ready to be responsible for children like that, and the benefit is you can genuinely make a difference and be their safe space if you have the capacity.

cons:

you will not be paid a living wage if you work for a public school. you won't. if you're responsible for your own bills, you very likely won't have enough to live comfortably. you will likely be paycheck to paycheck.

the last point above also goes here. my first year with that group was incredibly depleting. it was also a smack in the face when they went to new teachers who did not give them the care i did, and a lot of the work i put in was undone or underminded by teachers who believed them to be "bad kids" instead of victims of cptsd and mental instability.

this job will eat you alive if you let it, and you will have coworkers who think less of your ability to teach if you don't succumb to the workaholism. this was a hard lesson to learn that im still dealing with. my work day ends at 4, and i don't work from home or on the weekends. you'll hear people talk about not working outside your "contract hours" bc that's unpaid labor, and there is a divide between teachers who refuse to be exploited and the teachers who believe you're only worthy of the job if you exploit yourself. basically, people who see teaching as what you do vs. people who see it as who you are. you're more likely to burn out, and quick, if you side with the latter.

there's probably more of both, but that's what comes to mind now! thanks for asking...it's kinda nice to be given a chance to talk a little more about my job lol.

[drukhari]

hey tristan,

not too get too deep on your tumblr but... idk been feeling weird lately. i've been kinda taking this little break from everything, and i'm back home (altho it's not always chill time with family and all) but idk... i know there's no rush to figure out what you wanna do in life and all, and that it doesn't even have to be this one thing, it can be multiple things too and there's also no need for a ''one purpose'' kind of thing, that you can literally just be and that's it but its just... idk it's been about a year since i've been back home and i know i wanna move abroad but i dont really know what to do, like at all. Like i'm not spiralling or anything but it's just a feeling that's been at the back of my mind for a while now and it's still there, and idk i had kinda hoped that taking a break from everything would help get that energy and ''passion'' (for lack of better word) back, but not really. Mental health wise, it's been a great time to sit back but life wise, next steps-wise and all that, i feel like i'm still in the same place and still don't know what i should do next. i go on linkedin and i start looking at jobs and i have no idea what im looking for

anyways, what do you do when you feel like this? lowkey wanna do buzzfeed test that will tell me what i should next based on my favourite ways to eat pasta or something

That one's tough anon, not gonna lie. I used to feel that way a lot when I was in college and it used to keep me up at night sometimes because it seemed like everyone else had found that "thing" that they wanted for their lives and they at least had somewhat of an idea how to start proceeding in that direction, but in my case it felt like I had too many things I'd be just "fine" doing and nothing that I was really pulled towards. I was changing majors all the time and generally just felt like I was untethered from anything concrete in terms of planning a future.

And like you mentioned, you can absolutely know that some people dont have just 1 thing they do over the course of their life and that its completely ok not to know what you want...but knowing those things and really being able to internalize and feel them for yourself is a whole other ball game.

The feeling ultimately ended up going away on its own eventually, after a lot of time spent just burying myself in my hobbies, my connections with other people around me, the parts of my jobs that I didn't hate and just generally learning to appreciate the experience of living a life that didn't revolve around finding and advancing in a career.

Not that there's anything wrong with wanting to advance in a job that you enjoy, sometimes advancement at a job isn't about the material/ego based aspects of climbing the ladder so much as it's about getting to work on cooler stuff (which is the case in my job).

It was like I was too busy doing other things to realize that I couldn't pin down a 5 year plan for the life of me if asked, until one day I woke up and realized I still didn't have a 5 year plan beyond "keep learning and doing more things that interest me, keep enjoying the life I live as much as I can, and fuck anyone who says I should feel bad for not having more than that figured out".

You mentioned you took some time away just to sort of re-center yourself and that's great tbh. It may not feel like it yet but that time away may have some hidden lessons to it that you're not even aware of yet that will help lead you to the next step, or maybe it'll hit you out of nowhere like some kind of Jimmy Neutron Brain Blast-esque moment, but focusing on just enjoying each day, chasing your interests wherever they lead you (within reason, ofc) and being on the lookout for new experiences to try are all things that eventually helped me to get to that point, so maybe they'll be of some help to you along the way too.

[mrlove-loveme]

MLQC KPOP AU!

Chapter 1.1: A New Beginning

[Kiro POV]

Today is the first day of the rest of my life, in a good way that is!

What started off as a "stupid obsession", as the kids at my school refer to it, has now become my career. Today is the day I move into my company's dorms and first day in preparation for my debut as a K-pop idol.

"Eomma!! I'm leaving!!" I shout as I run down the stairs with a single suitcase and duffle bag. My mom walks out of the kitchen and greets me at the bottom of the staircase. She has always supported my dream, especially since dad was never in the picture. Juggling 2, and sometimes even 3 jobs at a time, she did her best to get me the singing and violin lessons I wanted as I was growing up. You can say she's also one of the reasons I'm doing this. I wanna be famous and one day repay her for all the love and support she has given me.

"Oh, my son! I'm going to miss you so much!" she says as she takes my face with her calloused hands and pulls it towards her. She kisses my forehead, and I catch a glimpse of tears forming in her eyes. I panic immediately, it's rare to ever see my mom cry.

"Oh no eomma, don't cry!!" I frantically tell her as I pull her in for a hug. I rest my chin on her head, my mom has always been so small, but she has always says that what she lacks in height she makes up for in heart. Which I can't deny as she is one of the most loving people I know.

She pats my back and she muffles in my chest, "You better call me!!" as her pats turn into a full-on squeezing hug. She may be tiny, but she is wicked strong. 

"Ouch ouch ouch!!" I exclaim exaggeratingly, "Eomma, you wanna break me on my first day?!" I tease her, and she jokingly smacks me in the arm, "Ack!! child abuse!" I shout as I rub my arm as if in pain.

My mom laughs, "You are no child! You are 19 years old now!" She then smirks and hugs me again, "but to me you always will be my baby". Hearing and seeing her react like this makes me kinda sad. She's gonna be all alone now, but regardless, this would have to happen at some point. And I know she wants me to live my dream. I start to squeeze her at the thought, and then lift her up briefly. "Aaaahhh!" she exclaims "Girak, I'm not young as I used to be, you're gonna break me!"

"Eomma, you're only 35!" I say rolling my eyes. My mom had gotten pregnant with me when she was still in high school. My dad chickened out when he found out and wanted my mom to abort me. But she didn't want to and her family was a lot more supportive than most other korean families. So she kept me and raised me with halmeoni and halabeoji until I was 5. 

My phone in my pocket suddenly vibrates, its my new manager, MC. The message says she just arrived. "Okay eomma, I have to go. They're waiting for me." I say as I hug her one last time.

"Take care of yourself Girak! And behave," she says squeezing me with all her might, taking the breath out of me. "And call me!!" she reminds me as she lets go.

"Of course eomma" I reply, having one last good look at her. Her long black hair tied up to a bun as she usually has it when  she is cleaning, her favorite orange apron sitting perfectly on her small frame, and her dark eyes desperately trying to hold back tears. "Eomma, Saranghaeyo," I say as I turn towards and open the door.

"Sarang, Girak," she says as I step through the door.

Outside is a white van. MC is waiting with the door open, and no one seems to be inside. Guess I'm the first one being picked up. 

"Annyeonghaseyo," I tell MC as I walk closer. I have only met her one other time when MC was being assigned to our group, Evol, via the company. Standing next to her I realize she just as tiny as my mom. It's sort of adorable, just like how her bangs make her seem younger than me even though I know for sure she is my senior.

"Annyeong Girak, or should I say Kiro now," she replies in a chirper tone. Kiro is my new stage name, which I'm super excited for cause it makes it feel all the more official. 

"Either or is fine by me, noona," she blushes at the fact that I called her noona, how adorable! I put my stuff in the trunk and jump in the van. MC closes the door behind me, honestly it feels a bit weird having a girl open and close the door for me. But I'm sure there's a lot of things I'm gonna need to get used to, like having 3 other housemates.

MC gets in the driver's seat, "We're gonna pick up Gavin now," she says as she texts, I'm assuming Gavin, to notify him that we are on the way. I met Gavin a few times during our training days. He's one hell of a dancer, and I'm glad we ended up in the same group.

MC buckled up and pull off down the street. Off to my new beginning!

[Footnotes- korean words to know: Eomma-mom, halmeoni-grandma, halabeoji-grandpa, Saranghaeyo(formal)/sarang(informal)- I love you; Annyeonghaseyo (formal)- hello)

[foreverconfused-foreverlost]

Me: It says tag 16 people

My brain: We don't have that many friends, though so ju-

Me: YOU DARE DEFY MY POWER?!?

My brain: We're the same- I'm literally you- what? Also what's with the stuffed animals

Me: It said use sixteen friends. I'm g-

My brain: That makes absolutely no sense put down the stuffed animals they aren't our friends, they're not alive

My heart: YOU MONSTER!

My brain: just. Answer. The. Goddam. Questions. On. The. Mother. F'in. Tag.

Rules: answer 16 questions, tag 16 people

I was tagged by: @xosetsuna

My height: 5'1/ 154cm (Call me short I Mcfrickin dare you but also I love piggy back rides)

Last thing I googled: Kindergarten literacy lesson plans

Favorite musicians: Ed Sheeran, Bts and Hayley Kiyoko

Song stuck in my head: Happy song by Liam Lynch and also that camp song where it's like "Five little muffins in the muffin shop, you know the kind with the honey and the nuts on top" I'm not typing the entire song and I'm also too lazy to look up the name so there

Followers: Like the amount? Almost 200 last time I checked and the exact number is 194 if I remember correctly

Following: 439? 449? Something like that. Look I'm too lazy to check the exact number.

So you get ask: Kinda, sort of. Send me ask pls I'm nice and weird but good kinda weird. Also I make moodboards! And I write (I've been behind on writing though) and I do ships and also I just wanna talk. Like how was your day? Do you need advice? What's your favorite pizza topping?

Lucky number: Three. Idk why I've just always liked this number.

What are you wearing: PJ's. I'm at home rn wishing for time to not pass b/c I'm not feeling work at the moment. uuuuugh.

Dream job: Author or song writer. I'm always constantly working on non fanfic stuff, I don't really share it though with anyone unless someone asked but even then I'm worried b/c I get rather excited and hyped up about my own work and I'm scared of annoying people.

Instruments: *Patrick voice* Is mayonnaise an instrument? Okay but like I can't play anything for shit and I can't really sing either.

Language: My original/native language is English. I can understand some basic French *Shivers from college flashbacks* but I can't write it b/c like freaking accent marks. I'm on and off learning Hebrew, both to speak and write it. I can tell you I love you and curse you out 😉. Haha but yeah Hebrew is going well. I don't tell people I'm trying to learn it b/c it's idk like I'm embarassed and it's a slow process.

Favorite song: Feelings by Hayley Kiyoko because oh fuck do I feel that on a personal level

Random facts: Extra cheese is my mortal enemy. I love using just my straw to get ice outta the cup. I collect decks of playing cards (So far I have a OUAT deck, OHSHC deck, Hetalia deck, Supernatural deck. I have more but that'd take too much time to type), on my first birthday I got a blue blanket with stars on one side and animals on the other and to this day I still have that blanket.

Aesthetics: I'm gonna use this to do some self promo. I'm gonna show some of the aesthetics/moodboards I've made that are my personal favorites.

Also here's a couple of links to specific post

Tagging: Uuuuh it's nearing midnight and it seems all my friends except @maesziel have been tagged by someone soooo uh? Just Liz I guess? 😅 And anyone who wants to do this

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: What are you doing Saturday? Janis: Trick question, you're getting out my pocket and I'm cashing in that favour Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: You don't know what it is yet Janis: might be a step too far, far as favours go Jimmy: go on, spit it out Janis: It's really shit, I'm aware, before you say it Janis: but it's my sister's kid's birthday party and I can't get out of it apparently 'cos they're little and shit so I have to make an appearance 😒 Janis: as if it'd remember but you know Jimmy: how old? Jimmy: that factors into how shit it'll be before you assume I'm baking or buying balloons Janis: you just have to come with not plan it Janis: oh and you could bring bobby if you need to Jimmy: alright Janis: it's a 1st birthday but there'll be kids his age too so Janis: only you and I need suffer 'cos I said so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you don't have to but Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: calm it down, my dear Janis: I am calm Janis: they're extra, is what I'm trying to warn you Jimmy: I've met Gracie, I reckon that's fair warning Janis: just saying Janis: pretend you're mute if any of them start yapping Jimmy: 💪 and 🤐 got it Janis: 😏 your specialty, exactly Jimmy: nowt challenging bout none of it Janis: trust, there is Janis: but thanks Jimmy: if you ain't up to it, mate Jimmy: just saying, I am Jimmy: no challenge too big Janis: already told you, got no choice, like Janis: not ability it's desire Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Jimmy: don't need owt but desire for me Janis: 🙄 lord Janis: do I need to warn them about you as well 😏 Jimmy: you telling me you ain't Janis: my family have low standards Janis: you're basically an 😇 to them Janis: soz to your rep Jimmy: properly 😢💔💔💔😢 Janis: I know Janis: such a bad boy, like Janis: but you know you ain't knocked me about or knocked me up so winner Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: apparently the dress code is kinda well, dressy so Janis: another warning Jimmy: what are you saying about my clothes there, babe? Janis: I like your clothes Janis: but awkward enough without feeling underdressed Janis: fuck knows what I'll find to put on Jimmy: take me shopping then, rich girl Jimmy: sort yourself out at the same time Janis: ugh Jimmy: come on Jimmy: it'll be a laugh Janis: alright Janis: it won't but why not Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 👍 Janis: when you wanna go Jimmy: when are you gonna gimme that real enthusiasm that I crave? Janis: I can't be excited about playing dress up, soz Jimmy: be excited about trying clothes on with me, dickhead Janis: alright Janis: 😏 I'll try Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: we can go in a bit then Janis: you at work? Jimmy: not gonna let on that I'm with my other girlfriend 👵💕 Jimmy: bit rude that Janis: rather know Janis: might have some fashion I can cop Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: hang on, I'll have a look Janis: tah Jimmy: florals 👍 or 👎 Janis: probably 👍 but I think it'd spontaneously combust if it touched me so Janis: '💎💎 EXTRA 🍾!!!!!!!!! HONEY 💋 But also make it pink & girlie 🌸🌺🌺🌸' is what we're going for Janis: as if that means anything Jimmy: Gracie, Gracie, Gracie Jimmy: what the fuck Jimmy: she'd be good for a borrow as long as you scrub yourself after Janis: however did you guess 🙄 Janis: bit rude to say about your missus Jimmy: I serve her ☕ every day Jimmy: on form today you an' all Janis: poor you Janis: and what are you talking about Jimmy: take my compliments about how funny you are and shut up Janis: don't tell me to shut up just 'cos you're busy with your main bitch Janis: learn some time management if you're gonna keep this up Jimmy: you're my main, she's one of many side chicks Jimmy: get it right Janis: 😩😭😍 Janis: so sweet Jimmy: 💕 Janis: gonna need to pre-drink this Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: getting us both wrecked Janis: the only way I can remotely do this Jimmy: I won't let you end up face down in the cake like my mum was for our kid's 1st Jimmy: not a #mood Janis: no Janis: only so much trauma you can bill as character building Janis: this little fuck already has enough Jimmy: I'll buy the kid an orchestra Janis: entertainment sorted Jimmy: 👍 Janis: going for a run Janis: in a bit Jimmy: run my way Janis: nah it's okay Janis: I'm not in the mood Janis: a good one Jimmy: and what? Jimmy: miserable twat every day me Janis: idk Janis: I just Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: why else do you think I want you here, girl? Janis: what do you mean? Jimmy: my only job ain't pouring coffee Jimmy: might cheer you up Jimmy: weird idea, I know Janis: great Janis: now I sound like a dick Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: shit sounds like how it is Janis: I can't explain Janis: it'd take me forever and you don't need to know Janis: I just hate being around them Jimmy: You just said as much as you needed to Jimmy: we ain't gotta ⛏️ Jimmy: left the mines behind, like Janis: alright Janis: but maybe I'm not ready to be cheered up Janis: all we do is bullshit being happy 'round here Jimmy: solidarity for feeling like shit even easier Janis: babe Jimmy: ? Janis: don't be nice Jimmy: alright Janis: convincing Jimmy: 🔪🔪alright 💔💔 Jimmy: better? Janis: you couldn't be mean if you tried 😏 Jimmy: are you challenging me? Janis: not really Janis: idk what I want Janis: be nice maybe Jimmy: baby Janis: mm Janis: I really hate everyone but you Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: bollocks to everyone else Janis: maybe that's what I wanted Janis: feels good anyway Janis: never don't Janis: Oh, and I love you too Jimmy: are you running? 'cause you're typing like you might be on it Janis: how presumptuous Janis: also don't do yourself down like that, it's not the ONLY time I ever say it Jimmy: 😏 Janis: not what I mean Janis: filth Jimmy: don't sound like me Jimmy: who else you chatting to? Janis: just the side hoes Janis: obvs Jimmy: 👋 Janis: are you saying hello to them or bye to me Jimmy: might be either Jimmy: keeping you guessing like that Janis: 🙄 Janis: so mysterious Jimmy: come here to me and I'll let you know Janis: quite the offer Jimmy: take it then Janis: hot Jimmy: 'course I am Janis: 😏 Janis: maybe I've had some drink but you can't blame me Jimmy: how much catching up I gotta do? Janis: do you have the shit mood to double down with Janis: if not just keep me company Janis: I miss you Jimmy: where am I going then? Janis: i'm coming there doofus Jimmy: I'm near done, we can go wherever Janis: home? Jimmy: I get it, you want real love 🐶💕 Janis: mhmm Janis: read my mind Jimmy: I can't promise she's home alone waiting for you though Janis: we're never alone Jimmy: I'll take you somewhere we can be Janis: yeah? Jimmy: I'm thinking Janis: hot Jimmy: don't put me off Janis: I'm down to barricade the door don't worry Jimmy: you're so Janis: I know Jimmy: I miss you too Janis: how much Jimmy: how much do you think? Janis: not enough Jimmy: what's enough? Janis: so much that we never leave bed again Janis: not much to ask for really Jimmy: what about so much we barely make it to bed? Jimmy: and then we never leave Janis: 😋 Janis: that's allowed Jimmy: good 'cause nobody can stop me Jimmy: that's how much I miss you, girl Janis: don't stop Janis: you're killing me Jimmy: I just said I can't Janis: good Jimmy: I've missed you all day Janis: it's unfair I can't be with you all the time actually Jimmy: I could get you a job here but I'd have to teach you some customer service first Janis: can't even say it's rude Janis: just fair Jimmy: get over here, lesson starts when you show up Janis: 😏 Janis: you do remember what happened when I turned up at your last job, yeah Jimmy: I weren't fuming about that then and I ain't gonna be now Janis: okay Janis: omw for my trial shift Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: kicking the stranglers out, I reckon you need 1 on 1 instruction Janis: shit Janis: okay Janis: taking this very serious now Jimmy: it is serious, don't be pissing about Janis: aye aye Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt remember Janis: are you doubting me Janis: always 🥇 Janis: main bitch, remember Jimmy: giving you a chance to prove me wrong 'cause you're about that Jimmy: I'm gonna give you everything you want Janis: I really like you, you know Jimmy: main bitch an' all #obvs Janis: you know it Jimmy: 💕 Janis: are you gonna let me wear the apron or what Janis: the real questions Jimmy: what else are you gonna be wearing? Janis: nothing pink Janis: that's for sure Janis: the rest is up to you Jimmy: I heard nothing let's go with that Janis: works for me Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: I ain't requesting that be your uniform whenever you're on shift though, even if tips would be at a record high Jimmy: I can't be smacking every dickhead that comes in Janis: You're cute Jimmy: You're Janis: hanging on the edge of my seat, like Janis: what 😏 Jimmy: making me not wanna leave work Jimmy: such a skill that Janis: I'm motivational Janis: hire me for that alone Jimmy: convincing too Janis: sounds promising Janis: still, put me through my paces, like Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: It ain't an easy job, babe Janis: I can take it Janis: 💪 Jimmy: I know Janis: k have you got rid of everyone, nearly there Jimmy: on my own 💔🎻🎻 Janis: my poor baby Jimmy: Get a move on Jimmy: I need you Janis: [showin' up] Jimmy: [enthusiastic welcome before she's even really through the door cos we know he would] Janis: [just telling him how bad you missed him between kisses] Jimmy: [being very vocal in between kisses too but not with words] Janis: ['that's customer service is it?' 'cos clearly about it] Jimmy: ['keen, you ain't even in the door yet' but he ain't stopping any of what he's doing to let her lol] Janis: [puts one foot in like a nerd 'come on, gimme a chance, like'] Jimmy: [picks her up and carries her over the threshold like a bigger nerd] Janis: ['just want the job, if I'm honest, not your last name but' but you're grinning 'cos you love it] Jimmy: ['what makes you think I wouldn't take yours?' and grinning back cos imagine haha he's the whitest 'what were it again?'] Janis: [says it excessive accented] Jimmy: [shamelessly 😍 cos that's hot] Janis: [rolls her eyes 'cos always a thing but not mad] Jimmy: [leads her over to the counter and doing like a ghost pottery wheel style mood because down to the business of closing up but make it flirty] Janis: [just loving life and purposely messing up (but not drastically, not a dick lmao) so he has to show her again] Jimmy: [we're all just loving life being nerds] Janis: ['so, I got the job, right?' and a LOOK of course] Jimmy: [giving her a LOOK back and putting the apron on her as he takes other shit off her like maybe lemme just see how this looks] Janis: ['if any of your co-workers walk in right now, I swear to god' but showing off what your mama gave ya] Jimmy: [just loling 'could be your co-workers too' cos give her them compliments and then kisses obvs] Janis: ['don't worry, you'll still be my favourite'] Jimmy: [casually gonna just put her on that counter like the time at the CG when they put on a show for the squad but this time there ain't no audience bye] Janis: [just smiles like this is why and we know the rest honey] Jimmy: [god bless you babies then go home and snuggle Twix like that's your job] Janis: [when she called it home, bye] Jimmy: [technically it is cos we said she was moving in and he was getting a bigger bed so] Janis: [yeah but emotions boo] Jimmy: [you know it got me bitch] Janis: [just wait 'til you have your own forreal kids] Jimmy: [I will cry when we do that, don't even] Janis: [but for now, there's a party you don't wanna be at]