#but it's almost more frustrating that i KNOW there are so many options out there

[hoe4hotchner]

Chapter 12 - Regionals

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x figure skater (fem)!Reader

Summary: The story follows you a figure skater training for nationals and Aaron Hotchner as your lives intertwine during an investigation into the abductions of young athletic women, including the your close friend, Leah. As the BAU delves deeper into the case, you find yourself captivated by Hotch’s quiet strength and protective presence. When Leah’s body is tragically discovered at the rink, the tension escalates, surrounding you in an atmosphere of fear and uncertainty.

Word count: 8k

Warnings: Anxiety, gunshots, panic, chaos, blood, trauma.

A/N: I'm gonna be honest, I don't know if any of the jump/spin combinations in this chapter is actually possible, I just thought they sounded cool together.

Also, I imagined the song reader performs to is Valentine - Måneskin.

Masterlist

The energy bouncing through the arena at regionals was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. The rink buzzed with activity—skaters gliding across the ice, warming up and loosening their limbs with different kicking and swinging motions, coaches muttering last-minute advice, and the hum of the crowd bleeding through the arena walls. The atmosphere was suffocating yet exhilarating. The anticipation and pressure that came with the excitement settled like a weight on your chest.

You were seated on a bench in one of the many locker rooms across the backstage area, staring down at your skates. The laces mocked you with their stubbornness. They weren’t tight enough. No, too tight. You loosened them, pulling the laces free—considering the option of re-lacing your skates completely with a new pair from your bag—only to start over again. Your hands trembled slightly, the nerves making even this simple task feel massive.

Tug. Cross. Loop. Pull.

Each motion was meticulous and deliberate. You knew how to do it, yet failed to do it correctly.

Too loose. They’ll slip.

You untied and tied them again.

Too tight. I won’t be able to feel my feet.

Frustration built in your chest. You sighed, almost letting out a loud groan, and sat back for a moment to collect yourself. You wiped your palms in your blade towel, the chill of the rink failing to reach you as you combat the heat your nerves sparked through every nerve and bone.

The door creaked open slightly, and you glanced up to see Hotch. He lingered in the doorway, his hands tucked into the pockets of his dark jacket. His presence was grounding in a way—working in a matter of seconds—the steadiness in his eyes cutting through the storm brewing inside your head.

“Everything okay?” he asked, his voice soft but firm. In directly questioning why you hadn't met him outside yet. He had already debriefed the team, only waiting for you.

You nodded quickly, too quickly, and gestured vaguely to your skates. “Just… trying to get these right.”

He stepped further inside, his gaze falling to your hands as they hesitated over the laces once more. He didn't mention it, but he noticed how much they shook. Hotch couldn't tell whether it was the competition or the potential of Collins showing up that was the biggest cause of your trembling.

“Take a deep breath,” he said, crouching slightly in front of you to meet your eye level. “You’ve done this a thousand times before.”

“I know,” you murmured, your voice tight. “But this isn’t like practice. Everyone’s watching. The judges are watching. And if I screw this up…”

“You won’t,” Hotch interrupted, his tone leaving no room for argument. He didn't want you to doubt yourself. He knew you could do it, and so should you. “You’ve trained for this. No one is more prepared than you are.”

You wanted to believe him. You really did. But the knot in your stomach tightened, and your hands returned to the laces. Hotch straightened, giving you the space to wrestle with your nerves, though his presence didn’t waver.

Once again, you tugged at the laces, pulling them tight, only for frustration to bubble up inside you as they didn’t feel quite right. With a sharp huff, you yanked at the knot, untying them for what felt like the hundredth time. The movement was harsh, almost as if you were taking out all your pent-up emotions on the poor laces—if you'd been a little rougher they might've actually snapped.

Hotch had been watching in silence. “Do you want some help?” he asked, his voice calm, trying not to undermine your ability to lace your own skates, but somewhat knowing that you could sit in here all night trying to fix your laces, although they weren't the root of your problem.

You blinked, startled, your hands frozen mid-pull. “I—” You started to refuse, your pride prickling, but then you remembered how steady his hands were in every situation. You exhaled sharply and gave a small nod, handing the laces over.

“I've seen how you tied them before,” he said, getting down on one knee to get closer. “Let me try.”

You watched as his fingers threaded the laces.

Cross, under, pull, remove from hook, and tie 360° around the same hook, repeat.

His movements were deliberate but not hurried, trying to mimic the way he had seen you tie them before. His focus was entirely on the task, brows furrowed slightly in concentration. He pulled the laces snug, double-knotting them once he reached the last hook, almost as if he’d been doing this forever.

When he finished, he looked up at you, still crouched before you. “How is this?” he asked softly, his eyes searching yours for an answer.

You stared at him, your breath catching in your throat. The laces were tied perfectly—secure but not too tight, exactly the way you liked them. But it wasn’t just that. It was the way he looked at you, so patient, so... stable, it made something inside you shift.

Your heart felt like it had stopped and restarted all at once. You couldn’t stop the look that crossed your face—adoration, pure and vulnerable—before you snapped yourself out of it.

“They’re good,” you said quickly, clearing your throat as you forced yourself to look away. Your voice came out steadier than you felt, but the warmth creeping up your cheeks betrayed you.

Hotch gave a small nod, his lips twitching into the faintest hint of a smile before he straightened up and stood back up.

None of you managed to speak another word as the muffled sound of the announcer’s voice echoed through the hallways, signaling the start of the competition. Your heart skipped a beat. It was happening.

Hotch’s voice broke through your thoughts. “You ready?”

You hesitated before nodding. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

He gave you a small smile and a nod. “Good. Now go show them what you're made of.”

With a deep breath, you pushed yourself to your feet, the sound of your guards thumping slightly against the floor in the otherwise silent locker room. Your nerves were still there, clawing at the edges of your determination, but you forced yourself to focus. You had to.

The competition was waiting. And so was your moment to prove yourself.

The tension in the arena was noticeable as you sat in the skaters’ section, hands clenched into fists in your lap. The murmur of the audience filled the space as skater after skater took their turn on the ice. Each one seemed impossibly flawless, their jumps precise, their artistry captivating. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to every single one of them, the doubt creeping in despite Hotch’s earlier reassurances.

But none of them intimidated you quite like Natalia Ivanova.

You’d known Natalia for years, watched several of her competition tapes, and competed against her a couple of times. She was a powerhouse on the ice, her technical skills matched only by her undeniable flair for performance. Even before she stepped onto the rink, you could hear whispers of her name ripple through the crowd, even a few whispers amongst the other skaters.

When the announcer called her, Natalia glided onto the ice like she owned it, her movements fluid and graceful. She beamed confidence, staring the judges down as she paused in the center of the rink to strike her opening pose. Her program was set to a dramatic orchestral piece, the kind of music that made you feel like you were watching something historic in the making.

You sat up straighter, studying her movements, your heart hammering away in your chest. You hated to admit it, but watching her was mesmerizing. Every movement was meticulously planned, and every glide was seamless. The crowd was captivated oohing and ahhing at every single element she performed.

Then came the jumps. She nailed the first two, a triple loop and a triple lutz, both of which looked effortless. But when she approached the quad, your breath hitched.

You had been right, she too had been working on one.

She skated backward, her edges strong, and launched into the air with power. For a moment, it seemed perfect—her rotation tight, her form pristine. But as she came down, her landing faltered. Her skate slipped, and she crashed onto the ice, the sound of her fall echoing through the silent arena as her body slid a few meters across the ice.

Gasps rippled through the crowd. Natalia scrambled to her feet quickly, trying to recover, but the damage was done. A fall on a quad was a significant deduction, and everyone knew it. You either did it and succeeded—or you failed.

You exhaled a shaky breath, your nerves flaring anew. Natalia’s mistake was an opportunity for you—if you could manage to land your own attempt at a quad, it could set you apart, it could differentiate you from the rest. But the pressure to deliver felt suffocating.

You had to land it.

Natalia finished her routine with remarkable poise—despite her mistake, you were sure she was beating herself up about it—her expression betrayed no emotion as she struck her final pose. The applause was generous but lacked the usual fervor. She skated off the ice with her chin held high, though you could see the tension in her shoulders as she passed by. Her coach followed closely behind, already reprimanding her for the quad.

Your name was called next.

You rose from your seat and moved towards the open gate onto the ice. As you reached the entrance, you pulled your guards off, taking one last steadying breath before placing them on the boards.

Hotch was waiting nearby, his eyes locked on yours. “You’ve got this,” he mouthed as your eyes locked.

You nodded, swallowing hard as you stepped onto the ice. The cold air hit your face, a sharp reminder of where you were and what was at stake.

The hush that fell over the arena as the lights dimmed was deafening. You skated to the middle of the ice, each push of your blades a deliberate movement. The familiar surface beneath you felt a little extra slippery today.

You took a deep breath as you lowered yourself into your starting pose, one knee bent with your arms outstretched, fingers trembling slightly. Your heart pounded, but you locked eyes with the ice in front of you, blocking out the crowd, the judges, and even Natalia’s earlier performance.

When the spotlight clicked on, bathing you in its white glow, a collective gasp echoed through the audience. The opening notes of your soundtrack poured through the speakers and you felt the lyrics seep into your bones. The tension in your chest eased just slightly.

This was your story to tell now.

The first notes guided you as you pushed off into smooth, flowing backward crossovers, your skates slicing cleanly through the ice and your skirt flowing with the motion. The rhythm of the music matched the beat of your heart. Your movements were fluid, your arms extending in elegant arcs as the lyrics spilled out across the arena.

You told a story through your program—the music was your script, and every step, every spin, was an expression of the raw emotion the past couple of months had left you with. The way you twisted into a tight axel, the way your arms reached toward the sky during a spiral sequence—it all built a connection between you and the audience.

The tension in the music grew, and you shifted into the program’s first big combination: a triple lutz and a double toe loop. You launched into the air, your body twisting, and when you landed, the blades of your skates felt secure beneath you. The applause surged for a brief moment before fading back into breathless anticipation.

Each element led seamlessly to the next. A series of intricate footwork had you carving sharp edges and patterns into the ice, your body moving in time with the heavy drumbeats. Your spins were a blur of motion, your costume catching the light as you transitioned from forward to backward skating with grace.

And then came the finale.

The music swelled, its intensity rising, and you pushed yourself to the far edge of the rink. You took a deep breath, your heart pounding as you prepared for the salchow.

It was a gamble, you'd only been working on it for a couple of weeks—the jump that could make or break your performance.

You picked up speed, your blades cutting deep into the ice as you set up for the takeoff. Your arms were tight, your focus razor-sharp. As the beat dropped in the music, you launched yourself into the air.

Time seemed to slow.

The rotation was tight, your arms tucked in as your body spun in perfect alignment. For a split second, everything felt right. But as you came down, your left skate caught the ice at an awkward angle.

You wobbled.

Your arms flailed slightly, and your right toepick grazed the ice to stabilize yourself. The landing wasn’t clean, and you knew it, knew points would be deducted despite a completed element.

The applause was still loud, but you could feel the weight of the judges’ pens, scribbling notes about the deduction for the shaky landing. Even so, you had landed it—a quad. That alone was a triumph that only a few skaters managed to during their careers, especially in women's skating.

The music softened, its final notes drifting into silence as you glided to the center of the rink and struck your ending pose. Your chest heaved as you stood there, frozen in place, every muscle in your body trembling from exertion and adrenaline.

The lights of the arena turned back on, bathing the rink in brightness. The crowd erupted into cheers, and you heard your name being called from different corners of the arena.

Your blood ran cold, every nerve in your body freezing in place. The rush of adrenaline and pride from your performance drained from you in an instant, replaced by a suffocating dread that wrapped itself around your chest. Your heart pounded, but it felt sluggish, each beat echoing in your ears as you spotted him.

Collins.

He stood in the stands, his presence impossible to miss despite the sea of people still clapping and cheering around him. His smirk was sharp and sinister, a cruel twist of satisfaction that sent a chill down your spine. His eyes locked onto yours, and the weight of his gaze was unbearable, pinning you in place like prey under the watchful eye of a predator.

Your breath hitched, caught somewhere between a gasp and a choke. The arena, still alive with sound and light, seemed to fade away. All you could see was him, his every move magnified. His hand dipped into his jacket pocket—slow, deliberate, and calculated. The motion sent every alarm in your body blaring, but you couldn’t move. Time slowed, the world around you warping as panic flooded your veins. What did he have in there?

Move. Do something. Scream. Run.

But your legs wouldn’t listen.

"Hotch!"

The scream tore out of you, it was desperate, carrying through the arena like a crack of thunder. It startled even you, your voice trembling with the kind of fear that could only come from the knowledge of what Collins was capable of.

Your cry snapped Hotch into action. From the corner of your eye, you saw him bolt from his spot, his sharp eyes zeroing in on you before following your line of sight to Collins. His entire demeanor shifted in an instant, the calm, composed mask replaced by something fierce and determined.

He wasn't about to let Collins get away again.

Hotch's jaw clenched, the muscles tightening as he surged through the rows of spectators, cutting through the crowd like a force of nature. His movements were swift, his hand already moving to where his gun rested beneath his jacket.

"Get away!" Hotch’s voice boomed across the ice—it was meant for you, but the crowd seemed to disappear around him quicker than you had registered the urgency in his tone.

The sound jolted you into motion, snapping the paralysis that had held you captive.

Your instincts took over. You pushed off, your skates carving harsh lines into the ice as you darted away. You zigzagged erratically, each movement wild and unpredictable, doing everything you could to stay in motion. The goal was clear: don’t stop, don't be predictable.

In the stands, chaos had erupted. Screams replaced cheers as people began to realize just exactly what was happening. Gasps and cries echoed through the arena as the crowd scrambled to get away, pushing and shoving toward the exits in a frenzy.

Collins pulled the gun from his pocket, the glint of metal catching in the arena lights. For a heart-stopping moment, the barrel was aimed directly at you. Your breath caught in your throat, and you swerved sharply, nearly losing your footing as the ice beneath you shimmered with cold indifference.

A shot ran out, the bullet carving a hole into the ice as it bounced off of it.

He adjusted his aim, tracking your frantic movements, but you didn’t let up. Although your legs burned you forced yourself to skate faster, harder, the fear and adrenaline fueling your every move.

In the stands, the crowd's panic only worsened. People screamed as Collins waved the gun around trying to follow your movements, his face twisting with frustration. His smirk was gone, replaced by a sneer that told you he wasn’t used to being denied.

"You think you can run from me?" Collins’ voice rang out, loud and venomous, cutting through the chaos.

Your heart seized. He wasn’t just dangerous—he was unhinged.

"Stay away from me!" you screamed, your voice breaking as you turned sharply, skating toward the far end of the rink in a desperate attempt to put more distance between you and him.

Collins snarled, shoving through the crowd. His frustration was noticeable even from where you were. He wasn’t just angry; he was desperate, and that made him even more dangerous and unpredictable.

To your horror, he began moving toward the same exit you were near, his eyes locked onto you like a predator closing in on its prey.

"You really think you could just leave me without any consequences?!" His voice was a feral growl, each word dripping with venom. "Let that joke of a coach take all the credit!"

You didn’t respond, your throat too tight with fear. Instead, you turned again, your movements frantic and uncoordinated, your legs trembling as exhaustion and terror began to take their toll.

Hotch and the rest of the team closed in, their movements swift and methodical. Morgan, Prentiss, and Rossi flanked Collins, weapons drawn, their voices cutting through the air as they shouted for him to drop the gun.

But Collins wasn’t listening. His focus was on you, and it sent a fresh wave of panic surging through your chest. You pushed yourself harder, tears stinging your eyes as you skated blindly, your vision blurred by fear.

Meanwhile, Hotch and the team closed in with precision. Morgan, Prentiss, and Rossi moved as one, trying to corner him, their training evident in every step they took. Their weapons were drawn, aimed steadily at him, leaving him with no visible escape route. The cold tension in the air was thick with the weight of what was about to unfold.

"Collins! Drop the weapon!" Hotch's command rang out, his voice was sharp brooking no argument. His gun remained fixed on Collins, unwavering. His posture was rigid, every muscle locked and prepared for any sudden movement. His presence alone was imposing—he was in control. You knew it, Hotch knew—and you were sure Collins could feel it too.

Collins, however, didn’t comply immediately. He hesitated, his eyes shifting wildly between you, still on the ice, and the agents closing in from every direction. His chest heaved with quick, shallow breaths, and his fingers tightened around the handle of the gun, his finger locked on the trigger, a flicker of something dangerous passing through his gaze. He was cornered, and that realization only pushed him further into a frantic, desperate state.

"You think you can stop me?" Collins spat, his voice was laced with desperation, a blend of anger and fear. His hand gripped the weapon tighter, and for a moment, it looked like he might try to make a final stand. Weighing if suicide by cop was truly worth his revenge. He squared his shoulders, his stance defensive, as though readying himself for a fight to the end. But then, without warning, he moved.

Collins lunged toward the ice, his body jerking forward with a wild, uncontrolled desperation. His shoes slipped, skidding over the slick surface, but he didn't slow down. He was heading straight for you, determined, his movements chaotic but fueled by panic.

"Stop!" Hotch's voice was more of a roar now, filled with urgency and command. It was the sound of a man who would not allow this to escalate any further.

The sharp crack of a gunshot shattered the tension that had been building. The noise rang in your ears, deafening in the silence that followed.

Collins' scream echoed in the arena as he collapsed to the ice, the shock of the bullet striking his leg sending him into a crumpled heap. He clutched at the wound, his face twisted in pain, and blood began to seep onto the pristine ice. The stark red against the white was grotesque, a cruel reminder of how close everything had come to disaster.

"You fucking shot me!" He growled.

"And you didn't listen." Within seconds, Morgan was on him, his large frame a blur of motion as he held Collins to the ground with brute force. The gun was kicked away from Collins' hand, and with a swift movement, slid to the middle of the rink. Morgan slapped handcuffs around his wrists, the sound of metal clicking shut was loud and final.

Morgan snarled something you couldn't quite hear as he yanked Collins away from the ice, dragging him off the rink with efficiency, his grip firm around his bicep. The medics were already on the scene, rushing in to tend to Collins’ wound, but you couldn’t bring yourself to watch. You couldn’t even bring yourself to breathe.

The adrenaline that had kept you upright began to fade, and it hit you all at once—the trembling in your legs, the dizziness that spread through your body like wildfire. Your vision blurred as tears threatened to spill over.

In a moment of blind panic, you pushed yourself to your feet, but your legs gave out beneath you. You barely caught your balance before you collapsed onto the ice, the world spinning around you. Gasping for air, you fought to regain control, but it was too much.

Without thinking, without even registering what you were doing, you somehow managed to get up and skate off the rink, your feet faltering with each hurried movement. You slipped your guards back on, hurrying into the nearest hallway, your heart hammering in your chest, your mind fogged with a single thought: get away!

Get away from the blood. Get away from the chaos. Get away from the haunting image of Collins’ smirk, still burned into your memory.

Get away! Get away! Get away!

You stumbled down the hallways, your hands shaking as you gripped the walls for support. The tears came then, unchecked, as you reached the bathroom. You barely made it to the stall before your body betrayed you. You collapsed onto the cold tiles, your stomach lurching violently, the bile rising in your throat. The world had become a blur, and the only thing you could focus on was the overwhelming sense of dread, of terror, that had yet to leave your chest.

Hotch’s swept his gaze across the scene before him, scanning the area for any sign of you, anything sign that you were okay. His heart clenched in his chest when he didn’t see you, the realization creeping up his spine that you were nowhere to be found, that you could be hurt.

His instincts screamed at him to move, to find you, and without another thought, he began to search the stands around the rink, his eyes darting from one corner to the next. The rest of the team had the situation under control, he knew he could trust them and the local police officers to finish up the crime scene—you were his priority now.

His search led him down the hallway, his boots echoing against the floor as he moved quickly. He passed the men’s restroom and the locker rooms, but it wasn’t until he reached the ladies' washroom that he heard it: the unmistakable sound of someone puking, the sharp, guttural noises of someone in misery.

His stomach tightened at the sound, and without hesitation, he pushed the door open with a small knock to grab your attention. The sight that greeted him made his chest tighten.

There you were, collapsed against the floor of a bathroom stall, your face pale and streaked with make-up and tears, your body wracked with sobs as you expelled everything from your stomach—the little you had ingested before the competition, most of what was coming up was bile.

The pain, the fear, the aftermath of everything you’d just lived through—it was all too much for you, and it was written on your face.

Without thinking, Hotch moved toward you, kneeling beside the stall, his posture careful and measured. His eyes softened, his heart ached at the sight of you in such distress.

He placed a reassuring hand on your back as gently as he could, trying his hardest not to startle you—he would've held your hair back if it hadn't been braided and tied in a bun.

The warmth of his palm was a stark contrast to the coldness of the bathroom floor beneath you. His touch was calm, as though he was trying to anchor you, to ease your mind back to the reality where you were safe, where Collins couldn't hurt you or the people you loved anymore.

You flinched at first, a sharp intake of breath followed by a quick sob, but the pressure of his hand seemed to ground you a little for a moment. You were still trembling, every breath shaky and uneven, but Hotch’s presence felt like your lifeline.

He didn’t speak right away, allowing you the space to let the worst of it pass. His only movement was the gentle rub of his hand against your back.

“I’ve got you,” Hotch murmured softly, his voice was low and calm, hoping that his few words would be enough to reassure you. They were a promise—one that he would keep, no matter what.

His heart ached for you, for what you’d just been through, for the fear he’d seen in your eyes when Collins had made his move. He couldn’t imagine what it must have been like to experience that terror—yet he could in some sense, remembering Foyet.

When the worst of it seemed to be over, Hotch didn’t move immediately. He stayed there, kneeling beside you, his hand still pressed against your back. He waited for you to steady yourself, to find your breath, to return from the overwhelming cloud of emotions that had gripped you.

“Hey,” he whispered, his voice was softer now, trying to coax you to turn away from the toilet. “You’re safe. It’s over."

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, you lifted your head, your eyes red and swollen, and still wet with tears, mascara streaked down your cheeks. Hotch’s gaze softened even more, his hand gently cupping the back of your neck as he gave you a small, comforting squeeze. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

You didn’t respond right away, but your shoulders shook with quiet sobs, the weight of everything sinking in. Hotch could feel your body tremble under his touch, but he didn’t pull away. He stayed by your side, his presence offering support as you slowly gathered yourself.

When you finally managed to sit up, Hotch remained beside you, watching over you, his face a mixture of concern and relief. The blood on the ice, the terror in your eyes, it had all left its mark on you, but here, in this moment, Hotch would ensure that you wouldn’t have to face anything like that again. He would be the rock you needed, no matter what.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Hotch said quietly as he helped you to your feet. His arm was steady around your waist, supporting you as you swayed slightly, still dizzy from the ordeal.

He moved to the sink, turning the faucet to run lukewarm water. The sound of the water splashing gently against the basin filled the small bathroom, almost too peaceful compared to everything that had happened.

Hotch grabbed a stack of paper towels, his movements were quick. He didn’t know if he was doing this right, if this small gesture would make any difference, but he was determined to do something to soothe you.

He turned back to you, his eyes soft with empathy, and gently began dabbing at the streaks of mascara on your face. His touch was careful, almost tentative, as though he were afraid that any sudden movement would break you further. He didn’t know the first thing about cleaning up makeup, but he didn’t care. All he wanted was to help, to give you some semblance of comfort in this moment of vulnerability.

His fingers moved lightly across your cheeks, gently blotting away the remnants of mascara that had stained your face, trying to erase the evidence of your distress. He didn’t say anything—didn’t need to—because his actions spoke louder than words ever could.

But then, just as he thought he might have been doing something to help, he noticed the way your lips started to tremble again, your breath hitching as though another wave of emotion was about to break through. His heart squeezed in his chest as he saw the telltale signs—the way your body shook slightly.

Before he could react, a sob escaped you, followed by another, and then another. The tears came in a rush, the dam breaking once again. His attempt at cleaning you up had been in vain as clearer streaks started forming with each tear rolling from your eyes. Hotch immediately set the paper towels down, his heart aching at the sight of you in pain.

Without thinking, without a second of hesitation, he pulled you into his chest, his arms wrapping tightly around you as though he could shield you from the world. His chest rose and fell with each breath, steady and strong.

"Shh, it’s okay," Hotch whispered as he held you close, his hand running gently over your hair. He didn’t have the answers, and he couldn’t take away the hurt, but he would give you the space to feel it.

Hotch felt the way your body shook against his, the tremors that went through you, and he held you, held you tighter than ever before, as though his embrace alone could shield you from everything.

"You’re safe now," he murmured softly, his lips brushing against your hair as he continued to hold you, offering you the reassurance that maybe wasn't as much what you needed, but what he needed to get out of his system. "You’re safe. I’m here."

The warmth of his embrace, the rhythm of his steady heartbeat, was the only thing that anchored you to the present moment.

In his arms you could cry without fear of judgment, without needing to hold yourself together for anyone else. Here, with him, you were allowed to be fragile.

He stayed there, holding you, his hands never leaving you as he let you cry, not trying to fix anything but simply offering comfort. And for that moment, that small, fragile moment, everything else fell away.

At one point Hotch somehow managed to guide you out of the bathroom and down the hallway to the nearby locker room. His movements were careful, always making sure you were steady and safe in his grasp, as though every step might trigger another wave of panic or emotion. The sound of your quiet sobs still echoed in his mind, and he couldn’t help but keep you close.

When you reached the locker room, Hotch gently guided you to a bench. He sat down beside you, his posture still protective, and helped you lower yourself onto the cold, hard surface. He didn’t want to leave you for a second—he just wanted to be there, with you, until the worst of it passed. Until you were able to speak, to carry yourself, until you were back to the living.

Once you were settled, Hotch knelt in front of you, his brow furrowed with concern. Without a word, he began to untie your laces. The tension in your body was evident, and he figured removing the skates might offer you a small amount of relief, if not mentally, at least physically. He worked quickly but carefully, easing the tongue away from the bridge of your foot before slipping each skate off and gently placing them against the legs of the bench.

He was fully aware that the blades needed to be carefully wiped clean of any moisture before being packed away in your bag. But at that moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care. The skates, the blades, all of it felt insignificant compared to ensuring you were okay. If the blades rusted from neglect, so be it—he’d gladly replace them without a second thought. For now, his only focus was on you.

After a moment, Hotch sat down beside you, his body turned slightly to allow you to curl into his chest. He kept his arm wrapped securely around you, pulling you closer as you tucked yourself into his side, your face pressed into the fabric of his shirt. He didn’t speak, just held you as you settled into the rhythm of your breathing, the tears slowly tapering off, leaving behind a quiet, exhausted sadness.

The minutes stretched into what felt like hours. The world outside the locker room seemed to cease to exist as you both sat in silence. Hotch’s hand gently stroked your back in slow, reassuring motions, the soft, steady pressure the only sound breaking the stillness.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, you shifted in his arms, your breath steady but still shaky. You pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at him. His eyes met yours with the same gentle expression he’d worn the entire time, as though he were waiting for you to be ready to speak.

“You okay?” Hotch asked softly, his voice low, though his words were full of care.

You swallowed thickly, your throat raw from crying, but you nodded. "I… think I’m getting there." You paused for a moment, gathering your thoughts. "It’s just… a lot, Hotch. I didn’t think he’d go that far. Collins… I never thought he’d get so desperate." Your voice cracked slightly as the words left your mouth. It felt like your stomach twisted again, thinking back to the way Collins had come after you.

Hotch shifted slightly, bringing you closer, his arms wrapping completely around your body. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he said quietly. “But I’m here to listen if you do.”

You took a deep breath and wiped your eyes, your face flushed from the tears. “I just… I don’t know how to process all of this right now,” you admitted, the weight of the situation settling back in. "Collins made me feel... like I was back under his coaching, and I just… I froze. I don’t usually freeze. I think I might need to see Dr. Jensen, like, ASAP.”

Hotch gave a small nod, his fingers gently tracing the back of your hand. “I think that’s a good idea. Dr. Jensen has some great tools to put trauma into perspective. We all need to check in with her after situations like this.”

A moment passed between you two, both of you processing everything in your own way. Hotch continued to keep his arm around you, giving you the space to breathe, to feel safe, and just be in the moment without any pressure to rush through your emotions.

Eventually, you shifted again, looking up at him, a small, tired smile pulling at the corners of your lips. “I really appreciate you being here, Hotch. I don’t think I could have gotten through this without you and the team.”

His gaze softened as he met your eyes, his hand gently brushing a lock of hair that had escaped from your bun away from your face. “You don’t have to thank me. I’m just doing my job.” His voice was low, steady, and sincere.

You smiled, feeling the warmth rush to your cheeks.

You both sat there for a long while in the quiet, each of you just existing in the presence of the other. There was still so much to deal with for the both of you, but for now that could wait.

As you sat there, curled into Hotch’s side, the muffled sounds of the competition picking back up played in the background. The echo of the crowd's cheers and the soft hum of music slipping through the walls barely registered to you. Everything felt distant—like a world away.

The scoreboard might have flashed up in the rink, but you had no desire to see it. You didn’t even know what your score was, and honestly, at that moment, you didn’t care.

The adrenaline rush from earlier had evaporated, replaced by a heavy fog of exhaustion. Your mind kept replaying fragments of what had happened—his movements on the ice, the way he lunged toward you—but you couldn’t hold onto the details long enough to make sense of them.

It was a subtle shift, but you noticed it immediately. The persistent, rhythmic beats that had filled the air slowly faded away, leaving a strange emptiness behind. You didn’t look toward the door. You didn’t even need to. The sudden silence stretched, lingering for longer than usual. Your ears, that had unconsciously been filled with the sound of skates cutting into the ice and the crowd’s murmurs, now only heard the quiet thrum of your own heartbeat and the soft breath of Hotch beside you.

You both listened, and you realized—truly realized—that it was over. The competition had finally come to an end, but neither of you moved. There was no rush to stand up, to re-enter the world outside the locker room. Neither of you wanted to break the fragile sense of calm that had settled between you. You stayed there, sitting close, your head now resting gently against his shoulder, your body felt heavy.

The silence seemed to stretch, not uncomfortable, but rather a shared moment of understanding. You didn’t have to speak. Hotch didn’t push you to get up or check the time. There was no need for words when everything you needed was right here.

Time passed—minutes, or maybe even longer—but neither of you stirred. You felt no sense of urgency to return to the world that still buzzed beyond the door. It felt like an unspoken agreement between you two that everything could wait.

It was Hotch who finally broke the silence, but only with a soft, low voice. “Do you want to know your score?” he asked, his hand still resting on your back.

You shook your head, your voice barely above a whisper. “No, I don’t.” It wasn’t about that anymore. The numbers, the judges’ opinions, none of it mattered.

Hotch gave a small, understanding nod. He could sense it—that subtle shift in your demeanor. You had given everything you had out there, and now you were processing, letting yourself breathe. He respected that. He didn’t press you any further.

It was only when the sound of the door creaking open that the silence was interrupted. You didn’t look up immediately, assuming it was one of the medics or someone else from the team checking in, but then the unmistakable sound of blade guards thumping on the floor caught your attention.

You slowly lifted your head, and there she was—Natalia Ivanova. Her presence in the doorway felt like a sudden gust of wind, sharp and cool. Her usual poised demeanor was notably absent today. Instead, she stood there, framed by the light from the hallway, her face an unreadable mask.

It was clear she wasn’t happy, her lips were pressed into a thin line and her posture was stiff.

But despite the tension in her body, there was something softer in her eyes as they landed on you. She hesitated for a fraction of a second before walking over to the opposite side of the room. She didn’t sit down next to Hotch, as if she could sense the connection between the two of you, and instead chose the bench opposite you.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. She studied you quietly, and you could feel the weight of her gaze—an unfamiliar mix of empathy and understanding. Then, finally, she broke the silence.

“I… I’m sorry,” she began. “I heard about what you’ve been through, and I can tell that you're struggling.” She paused, as if carefully considering her words. “This whole thing, it must’ve been a lot.”

You blinked, surprised by her tone. Natalia was always known for her competitiveness and her need to win. To hear her speak like this, with such a rare hint of vulnerability even friendliness, caught you off guard.

She cleared her throat, her gaze softening as she glanced toward the floor for a moment before returning to meet your eyes. “I can’t imagine what it’s been like... but I’m glad you made it out.” There was a brief, unspoken understanding between you two that you didn’t need to elaborate on.

There was a long pause, but then, with surprising sincerity, Natalia’s lips curled slightly. She hesitated only a beat longer before continuing, her voice quieter now, tinged with a different kind of emotion. “And… congratulations. For winning.” She said it like it meant something more than just a passing acknowledgment, her tone warmer than it had ever been toward you.

You blinked, stunned. The words were so unexpected that you almost couldn’t process them. Winning regionals? You hadn’t even thought about the competition in that light, too wrapped up in the chaos surrounding Collins and everything that had happened. You hadn’t expected a win, not after everything. But here she was, telling you that you had actually won.

The shock of it left you momentarily speechless. You weren’t sure whether to smile or simply absorb the reality. You had been too lost in your head, in your fears, to even focus on the outcome of the event. But now that the weight of it was settling on your shoulders, you couldn’t help but feel a swell of disbelief.

Natalia gave a small, knowing shrug, as if she saw the confusion in your expression and understood it. “You earned it,” she said quietly. “You did great.”

You glanced at her, searching her face for any sign of insincerity. But there was none. She was being genuine, her earlier frustration and tension replaced with something softer now—respect, maybe.

Then, before you could fully digest the moment, she added, almost as an afterthought, her voice lower, more reflective, “I’m just glad that, if I had to lose, it was to you.” She didn’t make it a big deal, but the sentiment was there. It was the kind of acknowledgment that took you by surprise, not because you hadn’t worked hard, but because it was coming from her.

It took you a moment to register what she meant by it, but when it hit you, a small, surprised smile tugged at the corner of your lips. Natalia was admitting, in her own way, that she respected you. That, despite everything, there was a recognition between you two.

Hotch, still sitting next to you, didn’t interrupt, allowing the two of you this moment. His hand, still resting lightly on your back, was the only reminder of his presence.

You turned your attention back to Natalia, still processing her words. “Thank you,” you managed to say, the words feeling small but significant. There was so much you wanted to say in return, but you weren’t sure how to express it.

Natalia smiled, just slightly, almost imperceptibly. It wasn’t the usual smug smile you’d grown used to seeing from her—it was something else. Something a little more genuine, and perhaps, even... empathetic. Something that made you think that maybe you could be friends one day.

Hotch watched as Natalia left, her steps echoing down the hallway, leaving behind a silence that felt heavier than the weight of the moment. The door had clicked shut behind her, and he turned back to you.

His gaze lingered on you for a second longer than it should, and something stirred deep inside him. The urge to reach out, to hold you, to offer something—anything—that might make this all go away for you. It almost suffocated him, the way his heart pulled him in two directions. His mind screamed at him to stay professional, to keep things in check, to never let his personal feelings cloud his judgment. After all, he didn’t know where this case was going or where you were going after this.

But then, there was the quiet pull deep inside him, the unspoken ache that he’d learned to bury for so long. You were here, in front of him, vulnerable, raw, and beautiful in a way that made his chest tighten. He never allowed himself to truly acknowledge it—not fully—because that would’ve made it too real, too dangerous. But in moments like this, when you were so close, so broken and strong at the same time, that ache in his chest came alive.

He wanted to kiss you.

The thought hit him like a storm, and his breath caught. Just the idea of it—the soft press of your lips, the way you might lean into him, allowing him to hold you in a way that transcended what he had allowed himself to imagine—sent a surge of warmth through him. It was maddening, and he fought against it with everything he had.

His fingers twitched at his side, but he clenched them into a fist, forcing himself to remain still. Professionalism. That was the mantra he clung to. You were a victim of a violent crime, someone he’d been tasked with protecting, not someone he could indulge these feelings for. Especially not now, with everything so raw, so fresh—your life had just been threatened in the most violent way. The last thing you needed was for him to add to the confusion with his feelings.

But there was no denying the pull. No denying how much he wanted to be close to you. To offer something to make you feel safe again. And yet, in his mind, he kept telling himself it wasn’t the right time. Not now. Not when you were still processing everything that had happened. Not when you were still so fragile.

He could feel the battle inside him intensify as he watched you. His heart ached for you—he wanted to be the one to hold you through it all, to offer the comfort and security that was slipping through his grasp.

He stayed where he was, sitting beside you, unsure whether it was the right thing to do. But he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

Tag list: @love4lando @therealbaberuthless @crazyunsexycool @pear-1206 @bookworm124 @itsmytimetoodream @c-losur3 @lumestar @evvy96 @booknerd2004 @werebearcocoon @hotchnersgirlxx @jazzimac1967 @gamingfeline @soyobi-wankenobi @meg-black @maxinehufflepuffprincess @multifandombliss

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

sometimes i want to make a post about a particular aroace experience but 2015 ace discourse fucked me up too much to feel comfy posting that here, especially because some people apparently haven't fucking moved on given that i saw a bunch of it in the notes of an unrelated post a couple of days ago

[angel-sweets666]

Wrong photo!

AGED UP AGED UP BRO NO PEDOS

Denki kaminari x fem!reader

You accidentally send Denki a photo of your tits instead of homework, you didn’t expect him to send his dick back

mdi

a/n okay so this is inspired by a post I saw, I forgot the name of the blog but if someone knows can you put the name in the comments? Inspired by this text message thing where you accidentally send mha boys nudes

warning: swearing ,nudes, oral m and f, boobie sucking, fingering 🙏🙏

ALL CREDS GOING TO THE INSPIRED CREATOR

You groan and slam your head onto the table in frustration. This homework was impossible; no matter how many times you went over it, the answers just wouldn’t come. The jumble of equations and theories seemed to mock you from the pages of your textbook.

Grumbling, you pulled out your phone, feeling a mix of desperation and determination. You opened your chats and scrolled to Bakugo’s name. He was one of the smartest kids in class, and despite his rough exterior, you knew he could help.

*name*: bakugo can you help me with this homework?

explosion tits: no figure it out yourself dumbass

*name*: this is why you get no bitches

explosion tits: kys.

You scoffed in annoyance. What’s up his ass recently? you wondered, fidgeting with your phone. The dorms were unusually quiet, with most of the students away at various hero training sessions. Only you and three other kids were left behind, making the place feel almost deserted.

Scrolling through your contacts, you realized your options for homework help were limited. You could message Mineta, but the thought of dealing with his inappropriate responses made your skin crawl. He'd likely send you an unsolicited picture of his 1cm shriveled-up cock instead of any actual help with homework.

That left Denki. While he wasn’t the brightest, he was at least not as creepy as Mineta. You sighed and opened a chat with Denki, typing out a message.

*name* hey does this look right to you? [image]

free charger 🙏 : WOAH HELLO TO YOU TOO

*name* Tf you on about?

Free charger 🙏: [image]

your face turned bright pink as you opened the picture, that was Denkis dick. You always expected him to have a small dick but clearly not. you looked back down at your phone to type

*name* DENKI WHAT THE FUCK

free charger🙏: WHATT YOU SENT ME TITTIES I SENT YOU MY DICK I THOUGHT WE WERE TRADING NUDES

you stare at your screen in complete horror, what does he mean you sent titties? You checked the photo you sent and there it was, the nudes you had saved for dudes you were talking to…. But you had accidentally sent them to the 2nd dude you’d never want to send nudes to, first being mineta.

The sound of fast stomps echoed down the hall, and you assumed it was Bakugo chasing Izuku or Kirishima. Then, you remembered that both Izuku and Kirishima were out doing hero training. So who was stomping down the hallway if not bakugo?

The door bursted open, it was a very panicked kaminari “IM SORRY LETS FORGET ABOUY THIS” he said as he snatched your phone “HEY!” You yelped, trying to grab your phone back “IM DELETING THE PHOTOS HOLD ON!” He screamed, bakugos yelling could be heard in the distance “SHUT IT.” His gruff voice exclaimed. You watched kaminari try to delete the photos, a panicked look on his face; while you watched him do this you looked him up and down, noticing the obvious bulge in his pants

he didn’t have time to jerk off between you sending the photos and him bursting into your room? Your face turning pinker at the idea of his dick, he wasn’t exactly small and he had a very pretty dick… the familiar warmth went straight for your lower belly…

kaminari was muttering quick apologies, trying as quickly as he could to delete the photos “imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry” “Denki!” “I’m trying to not be such a creep and i basically just ruined it all” “ Denki!” “DONE! What?” He looked up at you “it’s fine, we all make mistakes” you tried to calm him down but to be honest it was more yourself from your own flustered moment “WHAT FRIENDS SEND EACH OTHER NUDES?” He acted bewildered, throwing his hands “uh… friends with benefits?” You shrugged as you thought about it.

Denkis jaw dropped as he once again yelled “ARE WE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS? IVE NEVER EVEN SEEN YOUR BOO- oh wait yes I have” he calmed down at the thought, his eyebrows furrowing before his face proceeding to get a lot pinker. The hardness between his legs became a lot worse. “NOT THE POINT!” He said as he gently threw your phone into your lap, but you seemed preoccupied; Your eyes going between his eyes and his dick.

Denki stood face to face with you, trying to figure out where your line of sight was. Denki soon realised why your face was so pink and it wasn’t because you had just seen his dick on camera or because you accidentally shown him your titties “are you.. are you looking at my dick?!” he seemed so surprised, not a bad surprised with how Pervy he was but just… surprised. “OH SHIT SORRY! H-HOW ABOUT YOU JUST L-LEAVE AND WE NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN YEAH?” You tried to push Denki out of your dorm, letting out a nervous laugh.

Denki saw an opportunity and he was going to take it? He suddenly resisted against your push and grabbed your hands to take them off his back “hey Uhm…” he starts “well you do have very pretty titties” he smirks and leans down to you, your whole face turning a much pinker shade “w-wha?” You stammered, trying to reach up and push Denki out “what? You do!” He chuckled and took a step forward “Denki what are you doing?” You crossed your arms against your chest, unknowingly giving him a better view of your tits. Denki grins and looks down at them “hey! Now you’re just showing them off.” He sneakily shut the door behind him.

“I-i wasn’t showing them off!” The feeling of arousal became worse and worse, you began to realise he was probably trying to see if you’ll let him see or even touch your boobs “what are you doing..?” You asked as you stepped back, Denki stepping forward “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEMME SEE ‘EM.” The blonde begged, clasping his hands together as he could feel his pants get even tighter. “I won’t hurt you I promise! I won’t even tell anyone!” He kept begging, even going as far as getting on his knees.

You thought about it for a moment, your face going pink. “I mean.. as long as this stays between us…” you mumbled, looking away to hide your obvious pink face. Denkis eyes lit up but then he tried to look more serious about it, not wanting to assault you obviously. You slowly sat down “AND NO HARD GRABBING! I’m not in the mood for sore boobs” you stuck your finger out at him, laying down some ground rules so you two were on the same page “deal! Wait I can grab them?” His face lit up again “i suppose yeah… BUT DONT HURT ME.” You reminded him of the rule “I’ll be gentle! I’ll be very gentle with you” he raised his hands to show that he was being honest. You got yourself in a more comfortable position on the bed as you pulled your shirt off, chucking it to the other side of the room. While you didn’t notice it, Denki was is absolute awe to see a girl in her bra at all.

“Mkay calm down” you giggled as tried to wake him from his trance, he shook his head to pull himself together. Denki slowly sat next to you on the plush mattress of your bed, he wanted to make himself comfortable for this. Why was he panicking so much?! You reached behind yourself and unclasped your bra, chucking it on the floor too before laying down on your back. Denki was again in complete awe, now he had a pretty girl laying down next to him with her tits out, this day could not get any better for Denki.

“Are you sure I can touch ‘em” he mumbled, obviously wanting confirmation he was actually allowed to touch you. “Yeah go on then” you smiled sweetly up at him, that made his brain overheat. Denkis hand reached out and slowly caressed over your left boob, paying extra attention to the sensitive bud on you. You let out a whimper and his face lit up, a new found confidence going him ability to keep going, his other hand reached out to caress your right tit. He soon found a way to hover over you as he squeezed and gently play with your tits. Denki chuckled in awe, he couldn’t believe he out of all people was making you feel this good. Atleast he assumed you felt good because of the whimpers you let out.

Denki looked up at you and slowly lowered his head to suck on your right nipple. You let out a whine and gripped his hair, grabbing a fistful. He giggles against your boob and waves his tongue over the sensitive bud “shit…”he whispered as he popped off your boob and leaned down to suck on the other one, fondling the one he just had in his mouth. You arched your back a little and let out a coo, running your fingers through his golden blonde locks. The blonde soon popped off your other boob, fondling both with his warm hands. He smirked smugly as he admired your body, he lowered his head again to kiss the valley between each breast before lowering his kisses down your belly as he listened to your sweet noises

“shit your actually really pretty, not like because I just sucked your tits it’s because your like actually pretty!” He sat up to admire you, you blushed and gripped the bedsheets “hmmph.” You pouted “damn someone’s got a attitude” Denki muttered as he went back to kissing your boobs and tummy, you slowly snaked your hand into his hair again and let out a series of whimpers with each kiss and suck. Denki grumbled when he realised that he didn’t have any condoms, looks like a blow job will do fine.

“Can I uh.. take your shorts off?” He asked, trying to atleast make you comfortable “it’s okay if you don’t wanna! It’s completely up to you princess” Denki grins up at you “yeah.. it’s fine” you sat up on your elbows to look down at him, his face was flushed and his eyes sparkled with arousal. Denki placed his fingers under your waistband and pulled your shorts down “shit were going commando today?” His eyebrows raised as his pupils grew, he used his big hands to pull your thighs apart “oh my god your so wet..” Denki mumbled, he had a genuine idea on how to eat a girl out from the pornos he watched but other than that he didn’t know how to pleasure you!

“you gotta let me eat you out” he looked up at you, Pupils blown and all. You let out a surprised whimper, then slowly nodded. “With your words princess with your words” he tapped your thigh with his finger, you gulped and looked down at your pussy “yeah.. sure you can eat me out..” you mumbled bashfully, Denki grinned and pulled your hips towards his face. Licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit, you let out a moan and gripped the bedsheets “nghh” your back arched off the mattress. Denki began to eat you out like a starved man, shoving his tongue inside and tongue fucking you before sucking on your clit, he pulled back with a pop and stuck his two fingers into his mouth to use as lube even though you were slick enough from your own juices and his spit for his two fingers to slide right in.

slowly Denki slid his fingers inside of you, stretching your walls out deliciously. You let out a desperate whine as he began to pump his thick fingers deeper and deeper, hr leaned back down to tongue at your clit. You sat up and gripped at his hair, he grunted against your clit. Causing a vibration against your core “t’much! I’m gonna.. I’m gonna..” you whined as the grip on his hair got tighter “holy shit am I about to make a girl cum?” He thought in his mind as he began to pump his fingers faster, making you release more and more moans. eventually you let out one last squeal before cumming hard on his fingers, you panted tiredly and looked down at his hand. Denki slowly pulled his fingers out, slick and cum glistening his fingers. Denki slowly stuck his fingers in his mouth and tasted you on his digits “shit.. pussy tastes good” he mumbled “huh?!” You gasped “calm down!” He chuckles and sat up, leaning his body over you “would you please suck me off? I’m actually really hard and it’s starting to hurt like a lot” he said with a sigh, enjoying the thought of you chocking on his dick.

you gulped and looked down between his legs, the bulge looked painful. “Yeah.. that looks like it hurts.” You nodded as you sat up straight, now completely naked infront of him. Denki grinned and sat down on the mattress, pulling his shorts and boxer briefs off his hips. Releasing his cock from the constraints of his pants , the poor thing was so hard that he even had precum dripping down the length of his dick:((

you sat down on the floor between his legs, your face blushing. Denki ran his hands through his hair, an attempt to calm his nerves. “You know I’ve never had a blow job before” he chuckles nervously as he watches you spit into your hand, you look up at him “I’ve never been eaten out before this so it’s fine” you told him, teaching over and beginning to stroke his lengthy cock. He let out a groan, your hand was so much better then his own fist. You leaned forward and licked the side; base to tip, giving the tip a couple swirls of the tongue. He groaned “shit are you sure you’ve never done this before?!” He said with a groan “mhm..” you hummed against the tip, causing a vibration that made him moan. Denki grabbed a fist full of your hair and pushed your head down on his cock. “Nghh fuck! That feels too good… I’ll probably cum quick…” he groaned as he used his hand to help you suck it, face fucking you.

you could feel the tip of his length going down your throat, tears welling up in your eyes. You gripped his thighs tightly so you had something to hold onto “shit I’m gonna fucking.. cum” he grunted as he began to face fuck you a little faster, he pushed your face all the way down his cock before letting out spurts of hot cum “soo fucking good…” he mumbled, letting your head go so you could breath. You pulled your face off his cock and slowly swallowed all of it, opening your mouth so he could see you swallows all of his seed “that’s hot…” he smirked and rubbed your cheek, and all of this came from doing homework

SHIT YOUR HOMEWORK.

[nadvs]

the act of unravelling (part two)

pairing rafe cameron x pogue! female reader

rating mature 18+

summary you never expected you’d get tangled up with a kook, least of all, rafe cameron. one night, you make a life-altering decision to get revenge on someone you both despise. after you vow to keep what happened a secret, your relationship begins to twist into something more.

tags very dark! violence, homicide, drug and alcohol use, parental neglect, mental illness, s/a, trauma. no smut.

< prev

Rafe stands and looks down at the body, his fists clenched tightly. Reality is setting in now. He could go to prison. His future could be ruined.

He’s perpetually at the mercy of his impulsivity, thinking only of the minute he’s living in, burdened with the consequences later. But still, even with his head a little clearer, he doesn’t regret this.

Ripping away the life of a man who wronged him was a thrill. He spends every day feeling like he’s losing and the power he had in his hands tonight felt so fucking good. He won for once.

You feel heavy as you push yourself up off the floor. You wish you could curl up in your bathtub under hot, gushing water, washing away everything that happened tonight.

The corpse is harder to look at with every second that passes. You glance up at Rafe, blood splattered on his face as he stares down at what he’d done, at what you’d done, chillingly unfazed.

“We can’t leave anything that’ll point back to me,” he mumbles, his voice low over the fireworks still crackling outside.

“Or me,” you have to remind him tensely.

His eyes land on yours. He’s always only looking out for himself. He doesn’t know what it’s like to have to worry about someone else.

“I’m serious,” you urge. Your survival instinct rushes through you for the second time tonight. You refuse to let Rafe throw you to the wolves. “I saved your life. You owe me. I won’t take the fall for this.”

“Well, neither will I,” he snaps.

“You shot him.”

“I could say you did,” Rafe replies. “And it’d be your word against mine. What then?”

You scoff, in disbelief of his selfishness.

“I saved your life,” you repeat. “Does that mean nothing to you?”

Rafe swallows hard. He’s not sure many people would do what you did for him tonight. They’d watch. They’d let him die. The possibility that you might feel something for him makes his chest twist with an unfamiliar warmth.

“We’ll look out for each other, alright?” he relents, letting his guard down for a moment. “Let’s just clean this up.”

Your phone buzzes in your pocket again. You pull it out, seeing Pope’s name. Twelve missed calls.

You hope your friends don’t get so worried that they come up here, ignoring the Off Limits sign Porter had put up across the stairs. But they don’t know where you went. You’re almost certain.

“My friends keep calling me,” you whisper.

Rafe’s jaw tightens. His friends aren’t worrying about him.

“You can’t answer them,” he snaps.

“I know.” You let out a shaky sigh, tucking your phone back into your pocket. “We have to be fast. What do we do? Do we bury him?”

Rafe takes a beat to think.

“We dump him in the ocean,” he finally says. “We go to the marina and drive my boat out far enough where nobody will find him.”

“How do we move him so nobody sees? We can’t go through the house. We might run into someone.”

Rafe looks to the glass door on the other end of the room, the balcony offering a view of the inky night sky.

“There,” he says. “We’ll push him off and put him in the back of my truck.”

You consider it. Of the limited options you have, it seems like the only one worth trying.

“Okay. We have to clean the blood off the floor,” you say. “And everything we touch needs to be wiped. Maybe there’s something with bleach in it around here?”

For the first time since you entered this room, you feel hope. There’s a chance, a real chance, you could get away with this. You look back at the desk Rafe ransacked.

“Pick that stuff up,” you say. Frustration rolls through him. He never liked being bossed around. “I’ll try to find something to clean with.”

“Don’t let anyone see you,” Rafe mutters.

“How stupid do you think I am?” you huff before you turn towards the door.

You tiptoe through the second story, peeking into a bathroom cupboard. When you find a spray bottle that reads Cleaner and Bleach on the packaging, you grab it and head back to the room.

You and Rafe move quickly and quietly, using clothes you found in the closet to wipe everything with bleach. After a loud, consonant cracking of fireworks that you assume is the grand finale, the show ends. And you know people are on their way back to the house.

The neighbor’s private beach can’t be that far away. You have a minute. Maybe two.

You’re glad Rafe thinks to find the shell of the bullet. He puts it in his pocket. You spray the bleach over the floor again, cleaning every drop of blood you can see.

“Tuck this stuff under his shirt,” you say breathlessly, handing Rafe the bottle and the blood-soaked clothes.

You can’t do it. You know you’ll need to touch him when you move him, but you’d rather limit the contact you have with his body. Even dead, when he can’t hurt you, touching him is terrifying.

You pick the gun up off the floor, then open the balcony, relieved you can’t hear any voices yet. You peer over the edge to see the sandy ground. The balcony overlooks the side of the house, dark and secluded.

Rafe grunts as he drags the corpse out onto the balcony. You have to muster up every bit of strength you have as you help heave Porter’s body over the railing. He falls with a hard thud, facedown in the sand.

You have to jump the balcony. You can’t risk going downstairs. Rafe is wide-eyed as you hitch your leg over the railing, looking down with shaky breaths.

“Wait,” he whispers. “Let me go first. If you break something, we’re fucked.”

He shifts down as low as he can before letting his feet hang over the edge. He lets go, dropping hard, his ankles pinching with pain from the impact.

“Okay,” he says. “Go.”

You feel a splinter dig into your palm as you clutch onto the wooden railing with one hand while the other holds the gun. You make the split-second decision to keep the balcony door open to air out the smell of bleach.

You hope you cleaned away every drop of blood in the room. There’s no going back to it now.

You sink, hanging as low as you can, looking over your shoulder before you drop. Rafe’s arms wrap around you as your feet hit the ground, his chest hard against your back, breaking your fall.

“If someone comes,” he whispers in your ear, “run.”

Waiting for him to get his truck is torture. The humid night air presses against your face and you can’t bear to look down at the body on the ground.

Rafe returns and you move quickly, straining as you carry the body over the uneven terrain, the soles of your shoes slipping on the sand.

Once the body is in the trunk and Rafe unfolds the cover, blanketing the cab and concealing the evidence, you feel a shred less frightened.

You glance back into the darkness just in case. A glow of a phone screen is in the sand. Rafe is already behind the wheel, demanding that you get in, his voice carrying through the open rear window.

You feel for your phone. It’s still in your pocket.

“Do you have your phone?” you whisper.

He responds after a moment, “Yes. Get in.”

“I think his phone fell on the ground when we were carrying him,” you say. “We should–”

Faint laughs in the distance interrupt you. There’s no time to run back and get the phone without being seen.

“Get the hell in,” Rafe mutters angrily.

You obey, swinging open the door, barely closing it in time as Rafe peels away. Your muscles prick from the weight you’d just carried as you drive past the partygoers coming back from watching fireworks.

“Holy shit,” Rafe chuckles, near elated. “We did it.”

You stare ahead, your head foggy.

This will haunt you for the rest of your life. The thought forces a torrent of dread through you worse than you’ve ever felt before.

What if you’d run out of the room when Rafe and Porter came in? What if you’d left Rafe to deal with the body on his own?

What if you’d never gone upstairs?

You’re destined to agonize over the what if’s of tonight forever.

You gaze down at the gun in your lap and hold your hands out in front of you, skin stinging from the bleach. You’d wiped away the blood, but you think you’ll always see it on your hands.

You figure out that it’s a good thing you left Porter’s phone. If he was sharing his location, you’re sure the police could track where it was last before you threw it into the sea with him. They’d know exactly where to look for his body.

“We should shut off our phones,” you realize. “I think they can track GPS history from cell towers.”

Rafe digs into his pocket, glancing down to watch the screen go black.

“How’d you think of that?” he mumbles with a laugh. “Is this not your first time doing this, Pogue?”

“Nothing about this is funny,” you reply.

“Relax,” he says. “We got away with it.”

“You can’t be so sure,” you say. “One fingerprint in that room and…”

You can’t think about it.

In the paroxysm of emotions you’re already feeling, guilt digs a hole into your stomach when you see Pope’s most recent text before you power off your phone.

Answer the phone. We’re worried.

·········

The clock on Rafe’s dashboard reads 10:44 when you reach the marina. He parks right by the main dock. The place seems quiet, the water crowded with seemingly unoccupied boats.

“I’ll take a walk around to make sure we’re alone,” he says, pulling his key out of the ignition.

The car door slams shut and you’re left with a gun in your lap, a body in the trunk, and your tormenting thoughts.

Maybe you missed something back in that room.

You picture Porter’s phone lighting up in the sand. His last text to you said to come upstairs. When the cops inevitably start searching for answers, you’ll be questioned.

A minute later, Rafe swings open your door, pulling you out of your daze. You meet his glare, his hair tousled and sweaty.

“We’re good,” he says. “Move.”

Having to haul the body over the dock past darkened, quiet boats is unnerving. Ater you leave it at the back of Rafe’s boat, you stand behind him at the helm.

Your arms are crossed and the gun is tucked by your elbow, because if you learned anything tonight, it’s that you can’t trust anyone.

Rafe’s still a man. A man who takes what he wants when he wants it. A man who killed someone because he didn’t obey him. He could hurt you if he wanted to. It’s best not to be alone with him.

“I should wait in the car,” you mumble. Rafe shakes his head in frustration, driving the boat forward. The boat’s motor hums as you rock with its movements.

“No,” he mutters condescendingly. It reminds you of why underneath the stubborn pull you’ve always felt towards him, you’ve also harbored a quiet fear. Rafe is violent. Possibly enough to hurt you the same way Porter did.

You feel for the gun again. If two men have to die tonight, so be it. The fact that your mind went there chills you.

Rafe looks over at you, lips twisting in annoyance.

“Don’t feel bad for that asshole,” he mutters. “He asked for it.”

It’s the worst possible thing he could’ve said. Your throat is raw with the threat of tears. Asked for it. Would he say the same about what happened to you?

“I don’t regret it,” you tell him, sure that he’s assuming that that’s why you’re so tense. “I’m just worried we missed something.”

“If we did, nothin’ we can do about it now,” he says. You look ahead at the dark sea, moonlight shining over the water’s ripples.

“We need to figure our story out,” you say. “How’d you end up upstairs? Did anyone see you?”

“I stopped him while everyone was going outside to watch the show,” he recalls. “Told him to show me where he was keeping his coke because I heard he was selling again. It was loud. I don’t think anyone heard, but maybe someone saw. I don’t know.”

“Why do you sell?” you ask, face pinched in confusion. “Why did you even care that he was selling, too? You don't have enough money already?”

“I gotta keep your tips coming, don’t I?” he says smugly. You scoff, jarred by his blasé attitude, despising his cold arrogance.

He notices the angry scowl on your face. He’s convinced he’ll never break through the hatred you have for him.

“I want to make my own money. That’s why,” he admits. It’s half the truth, but it’s good enough.

It’s surprising to hear that Rafe, a man you thought coasted on the wealth he was born into, possesses a work ethic. Even though he uses it to deal drugs.

“Did anyone see you go upstairs?” he asks.

“I don’t think so,” you say.

“Why were you there?”

You chew on your lip, the truth sitting on your chest like a ton of bricks. There’s no point in telling him. He thinks your motive was the same as his. Money. And you’ll let him believe it.

Besides, talking about it now, merely an hour afterwards, will only make you cry again and your head is pounding from how much you’ve already wept tonight. How could you possibly say it out loud?

“To buy pot. Then I smoked too much and passed out.” You keep talking before he can ask anything else. “Are we far out enough?”

Rafe looks back to make sure the marina is out of sight before he kills the engine.

Pushing Porter’s body over the guardrail is harder than the other times you’d carried him tonight. The water is rocking the boat so much now that you’re far into the ocean. Your breath is strained as you heave him over the metal, his body hitting the water with a loud splash under the bright moon.

Rafe pulls out the bullet shell in his pocket and tosses it in the water. You know you have to throw the gun in, too. It’s hard to. But you do it.

Rafe looks over the edge now that everything is sinking to the bottom, his forearm brushing against yours. He notices how quickly you jerk away, refusing to let him touch you. The pull he feels towards you is obviously one-sided. Your eyes flit away when you look at him.

“You have blood on your face,” you tell him soberly. His temper flares, feeling stupid for thinking a girl could feel anything but afraid of him after he shot someone right in front of her. Even though she was the one who told him to do it.

You might have a deadly thirst for revenge in common, but that’s where the similarities end. He stalks past you to wash himself off in the bathroom below the deck.

You let out a shaky breath. The unexpected contact with Rafe startled you. After tonight, you’re sure you’ll always be scared to be around men you don’t know all that well. Even the ones that seem decent are just lions in sheep’s clothing. The monster that proved that to you is below the ocean’s surface now.

You look into the murky water, and despite the fear and the anxiety and dread weighing on your heart, you’re glad that this is how it ended. Porter paid the ultimate price for what he did to you. He doesn’t deserve to live, to smile, to feel anything ever again.

·········

You and Rafe sit behind the hull, the boat swaying with the tide. You start to piece together an alibi and decide to admit you were upstairs together. If even one person says they saw either one of you go up there, you won’t be caught in a lie.

As you talk, Rafe can’t take his eyes off of you. You’re clearly scared, but trying to stay level-headed. He doesn’t get how you do it. He’s always been bad at keeping his mind steady. He never had a reason to even try.

“So, I went up first after he texted me to come buy from him,” you say, hoping your voice doesn’t shake. “I got high and passed out. Then you came up with him to find his stash. We’re obviously going to have to come clean about the drugs.”

“What do you mean obviously?”

“You’re going to be a suspect the second the police start talking to people,” you tell him. “Everyone knows you had an issue with him. And why. You can’t lie about the coke. And they’ll have evidence that I was buying weed from him. We have to be honest about it. They’ll find out anyway.”

Rafe sighs, knowing you’re right.

You hug yourself as a cool breeze carries over the water. The weakness in your gaze reminds Rafe of the way you’d cried on the floor earlier tonight. Before all this, he only ever saw you as strong-willed and sharp-tongued.

Even though calming a man like Rafe down when he’s angry sounds like it’d be impossible, you figure it’s the only direction your alibi can go.

“We’ll say I talked you down and…” You shake your head. “It doesn’t make sense that we’d stay up there. I think we say we left him in his room and sat on the beach alone in front of the house to watch the fireworks from there.”

You worry it’s not enough. You’re certain that no one who knows either one of you would buy that you voluntarily spent time together.

“Maybe the cops would believe we hung out,” you mumble, “but nobody else would.”

Rafe stills. His friends like to give him crap about how much time he spends talking to you when he supposedly hates Pogues. If he told them he was with you all night, they’d say they saw it coming.

“They could,” he says after a few seconds of silence.

“My friends would never believe it,” you scoff. He purses his lips, pissed off at your tone, at the clear implication that you talk shit about him with your friends.

“It’s our only option,” he mutters sharply.

“You’re right,” you give in. “Then what? We went home before people got back? I guess that way if anyone saw us leave together, we have it covered.”

“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “That’s the story.”

“Okay. It’s not great, but it’s the best we can do.” You check your phone for the time, only to remember it’s turned off. “Can you drive me home now? I’ll say my phone died. You should do the same when people ask where you’ve been.”

Rafe doesn’t admit to you that nobody was checking up on him, that nobody ever does. He only stands up to drive back to the dock.

·········

Your first priority when you get home is to text your friends, guilt consuming you now that it’s been over two hours since you last saw them and they have no idea what happened to you.

You turn on your phone to see a string of missed calls and texts from the guys. You open the group-chat and type: I’m so sorry. I’m okay. Got too high and lost track of time. Home now.

They video call you to be sure that you really made it home safe, drunkenly rambling on about how they assumed you went to see the fireworks early, leaving them to search the neighbor’s beach for you.

As you listen to them talk over each other on the phone, it’s the first time you see your reflection since you left the house, when you were oblivious to the fact that the impending hours would change you forever.

You can see it in your eyes that you’re not the same. You can only hope that they don’t catch on.

·········

It’s been three days. You haven’t been sleeping. You’ve hardly been eating. And no matter how many times you tell yourself there’s no use in thinking about how different the night could have turned out, it doesn’t stop your head from spinning into hypotheticals.

All you told your friends was that you were with a boy and that they didn’t need to know any more. Because they all see you as a sister, they were happy to be spared the details.

If only they knew. A few nights ago, you promised them you wouldn’t talk about Rafe ever again. You never would’ve thought the reason would be because you’d committed a crime together.

You’re back at work. Smiling and chatting and serving drinks and acting like everything is fine is harder than you expected.

The thought of seeing Rafe again is oddly comforting. No matter how twisted it is, you have a bond now, held together by secrecy and shared trauma. He’s the closest to knowing what you’re going through.

Even though you were afraid of him on the boat, when he dropped you off, he waited until you got into the house before he drove off. Maybe he sees you as someone he needs to protect, even if it is for his own selfish reasons.

No matter how unhinged he is, having someone like him in your corner is comforting after what you’d suffered through.

You spot Rafe sitting alone at the near empty club bar on your way out and your heart settles, but when you catch a glimpse of the flatscreen mounted on the wall a moment later, it drops. You knew it was inevitable, but it doesn’t make it any better.

Rafe swallows bitter whiskey, gazing up at the tv. Under a photo of Porter reads MISSING as his parents speak to the press. What if he went missing? Who’d care? What would his dad say – at least it wasn’t Sarah?

He looks down at the bartop. The thrill of what he did has faded. It’s not a surprise. His life is nothing but a cycle of short-lived highs.

When he sees the look on Porter’s parents’ faces on the tv, jealousy and loneliness screw a hole into his heart. He knows it’s fucked up to envy the man he killed. He doesn’t care.

His eyes drift over the bar to see you standing on the other end. You’re in shock as you stare up at the broadcast, looking guilty as hell. He glares at you until you finally meet his eyes.

Rafe curtly gestures to you to sit next to him. Even though he looks mad, you’re relieved to close the distance between you.

“You’re being obvious,” he says quietly once you sit next to him, an edge to his tone.

You look back to see only a few other people sitting in the restaurant area behind you, far from earshot. You won’t be heard, but you both know you have to speak vaguely just in case.

“Someone I know is missing,” you reply. “It’s normal to be worried about that.”

“What do you know about normal?” he scoffs.

You lock eyes, sure that you’re both replaying the night in your minds, sure that you’re both far from sane after what you did. His gaze is cold, a reflection of how angry he is that you’re not handling what happened as well as he is.

“Great talking to you,” you snip sarcastically, shifting to stand up.

“Wait,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looks at you again, this time with a bit of the hardness in his eyes gone. “We need to talk.”

next >

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[luminiamore]

soul

basketball player ony x spiritual reader headcanons

୨୧ he absolutely has to keep one of the crystals you gave him with him. at all times. if he ever realizes he’s forgotten it—whether it’s on the way to practice or heading out for a big game—he’ll drop everything. no matter how tight the schedule is, he’ll make his entire team wait while he runs back to get it.

୨୧ he knows how sensitive and drained you get when you're surrounded by so many energies at once, and he could never put you in that position. so, even though he would love to have you at every game, he never allows you to come. instead, he’s making sure you're waiting for him in the locker room after.

୨୧ he takes the time to lock the door, ensuring that no one can hear anything, especially the sweetest cries you make when he's celebrating a big win. and when the rivalry match doesn't end in his favor-he's just as committed to making you feel his frustration. he’d end up carrying you to his car when he feels like he’s thoroughly dumped his anger past your warm sticky walls, your legs becoming jello.

୨୧ he was never the type to open up about his feelings, let alone imagine a future with anyone. seeing how dedicated you are to growing and evolving as a person, something shifted in him. he respected you deeply, more than he ever thought possible. for you, he started putting in the work—learning how to be more vulnerable, more present, and more open.

୨୧ you both became teachers to each other. he’d never admit it out loud, but you were slowly unraveling parts of him he didn’t even know were there. and just as much, he pushed you to continue evolving, helping you through your own challenges with the same dedication he put into his training.

୨୧ you two rarely argue. or ever really stay upset at each other. if he does something to make you upset you let him know rather than playing mind games, vice versa. ony would rather die than let you go to sleep upset at him. you will always talk it out. and get your pussy sucked clean after.

୨୧ he said “i love you” first, and while he tried to keep his cool and act like it was no big deal— on the inside, he was terrified. what if she don’t say it back? the simple thought almost made him second guess his decision. you did, of course.

୨୧ call him toxic, but unfortunately for you��breaking up is not an option. deep down, he knows you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. he might make mistakes but he’s quick to learn from them, careful not to make them again. if you ever hinted at leaving, he’d beg on his knees, desperate to change your mind. his pride would be forgotten in a second.

୨୧ he’s the kind of man who starts taking care of himself because he knows that if he wants to be the best partner, he has to be the best version of himself too. he hits the gym regularly to clear his head, makes sure he’s eating right to stay energized, and starts working on his mental health—because you deserve someone who is just as mentally strong as you are.

୨୧ safe to say, you’re spoiled—but in the best way possible. he takes you to the crystal shop, and it’s like your personal shopping spree every time. he knows exactly what you need, picking out the most beautiful, rare crystals for your collection.

୨୧ he’s all in when it comes to your little quirks, even if it means spending hours at a thrift store. he’ll go with you, sifting through racks, helping you find those one-of-a-kind items you’re obsessed with. and when you find something perfect, he doesn’t hesitate. he’s dropping a bag, not because he has to, but because he wants you to feel special, like you deserve the best.

୨୧ all in all, he loves you. and it’s more than just the surface-level affection—it’s deep, real, and unwavering. he’s in love with you. every part of you. from the way you laugh to the way you challenge him to grow. you’re his lifeline, the one person who makes everything make sense.

[wingedjellyfishflight]

Harem in Reverse

"You're soon to be 26, Your Royal Highness. You must put together your harem soon or risk being married off to whomever the regent chooses for you." You sigh, nodding in agreement. Choosing a direct husband would be against the rules, and frankly, you weren't interested in interviewing for the perfect man. Choosing many for their adherence to various qualities, though. That would be a good choice. "Shall I put forth a call for certain attributes? Strong arms? Large chest? Impressive intellect?"

"No, I want to review the troops this week. I will find my consorts among the best our nation has to offer." The advisor looks stunned.

"Your Royal Highness, those are rough men. They do not have the breeding or training to handle you gently as a consort should. They are-."

"Advisor Williams, I know what attributes I am looking for. Schedule me to review the best of the troops, then. If none catch my eye, then I will consider others." The advisor nods, frustrated at not being heeded, but knowing they must follow a direct order.

The following week, you are almost nervous while getting ready, the beginning of butterflies in your stomach. If you weren't so tired, you're sure it would be worse, but the night before was yet another attempt on your life. They are becoming more frequent and more violent now.

Sighing, you hurry to the courtyard where your mount, Rosebud, is waiting. A gift that you feel had been meant to be another threat on your life. The mount was no ordinary horse or pony. Instead, it was the largest draft mule you had ever seen. If you had treated him like a horse, you're sure the thing would have stomped within minutes. He was a vain creature who had to be sweet-talked and treated with utmost respect before he would agree to do much of anything. He was covered in whip and spur scars, telling anyone that he was difficult to force submission from, despite their best efforts. Not that you thought anyone could force an animal born of a mammoth jack donkey and a Shire horse to submit physically. You loved each and every scar, the signs of his stubborn nature on display for all to see.

"Hello, sweet boy." You greet him and let him snuffle you over, waving off the over eager stable hand. "May I ride you today? I am to inspect the troops." He blows a huff of air and turns his head away. You slide your hand along his proud neck and across his withers to the saddle. Checking it over, you deem it done well enough and climb on his back. Your legs spread wide across his broad barrel. Your advisors turn away, knowing that you will refuse their most strident pleas to ride sidesaddle.

"Let us inspect the troops." With that, the company is off at a quick walk to the parade grounds. Your group of advisors and the personal guard that you only marginally trust join the General and his entourage at the front of the formation. You strongly dislike the General. He is somehow the worst mix of ass kissing and condescending.

"The army is excited to be inspected this morning, Your Royal Highness." You barely manage to cover your snort. There is no way they are happy to be here standing in the sun to be inspected on your whim. You move from company to company, looking over the men and pointing out individuals to be inspected, but seeing none you would consider as consort. Reaching the special forces, the rabid dogs as your advisors refer to them, the General is incensed to see that the leader of one is missing.

"Where is the Captain? This is not an optional inspection!"

A man steps forward, "He was injured in a skirmish this week and is still confined to the hospital, General Argus." Looking over the group, you see several still sport bandages and healing abrasions. You nudge your mount closer, his ears perked forward in a match to your curiosity. The General apologizes to you for the disrespect of the men for not appearing but is cut off.

"Your Royal Highness. Escaping the hospital took longer than predicted. For that, I sincerely apologize." You turn, seeing a man limping toward the formation at a quick pace. This must be the Captain. As he falls in, you dismount your mule, resting your hand on his broad neck. Your personal guard hurriedly surrounds you, standing much too close. Rosebud takes exception to being crowded, ears flattening against his head. He strikes out like a snake. His teeth click just shy of the nearest man, who stumbles back yelling and unsheathes a sword. Without a thought, you draw your own ceremonial dagger.

"Touch one hair on Rosebud, and I will gut you." Everyone around you freezes before slowly backing away. "I will not be crowded by your incompetent forms when I am here to inspect the troops." They retreat from your anger, not wanting to risk you calling for their death. Rosebud drops his head, relaxing, and you absentmindedly rub his long ear the way he loves. His lip twitches and his eyes half close for a moment before he pulls away. You step forward, and Rosebud matches your pace, keeping his shoulder just behind yours. It took months to build up a relationship with him, and now he is putty in your hands most days.

An advisor tries to signal you to stay back, but you ignore them, your eyes on the men, looking for the best of them. You memorize the name of the Captain and another likely candidate, signaling Advisor Williams to your side. He groans but carefully walks to you, eyes locked on the increased alertness of Rosebud.

"I will have an audience with this Captain Price and Colonel König. As soon as the men are dismissed. In private." You walk forward and give a cursory inspection to the man who had spoken on the Captain's behalf. His uniform is impeccable, you are happy to see. You don't want them punished on your behalf. The smirk on his face beneath his mask sends a thrill through you. Another man who is not cowed by your station. That is important in advisors. Lieutenant Riley, his uniform says. You nod and mount Rosebud again, rejoining the pack of advisors to inspect the remaining troops. No others catch your eye.

Walking into your State room, you signal for everyone except the two soldiers to leave. While unusual, they are compelled to do so by your haughty glares and Advisor Williams guiding them away, barring the doors behind him and standing guard. Sitting in your throne, you drag your eyes over the men. Colonel König is wearing his customary face covering, and Captain Price has the cover he is well-known for in his hands.

"I have a proposal for you both that I want you to carefully consider. This proposal will not be spoken of again if you decline and it will not leave this room." The men perk up, and you see heat in their eyes as they consider one of the possibilities of your words. "I need advisors who are not advisors." That throws them off, and you see the Colonel shift uneasily. "These advisors would be the closest of any man or woman to me. They would teach and protect me with their very lives. My life is under threat and has been since the King and Queen died, my uncle taking over as Regent. I need advisors who will help me oust him and take my rightful place on the throne without contest and without raising his suspicions. Thus, I need men who will join my harem." You pause, savoring the way their faces change as they process this.

"Your Royal Highness, are you asking us to find you men to join your harem? That is most unusual, but we will do our best." You shake your head at Captain Price.

"Yes, but not in the way you are thinking. I am asking the two of you to join my harem and to advise me on the best men to round out such a harem. To be advisors and leaders in removing the despot from his fake throne. To be my lovers, spoiled in every way and to guard me from all attempts on my life. I want you both, and I trust you to choose others and to bring them to me for approval. If you decline this position, we shall never speak on it again."

"Yes, I would be honored to be chosen for your harem, Your Royal Highness." Colonel König does not hesitate to agree. He feels he has loved you from afar for years, and this is an opportunity he will not squander.

"I would be as well, Your Royal Highness." Captain Price is confident that declining now would be a mistake, and he is not a man prone to mistakes. "I have a few men in mind that would be good additions. They are a bit of a package deal." You nod, expecting as much.

"Their names?"

"John MacTavish, Simon Riley and Kyle Garrick, Your Royal Highness."

"I have two in mind that would be good choices as well. Hiro Watanabe and Kim Hong-jin. They are foreign, but good, loyal and strong men, Your Royal Highness."

The smile you bestow them with is almost a surprise to the men. "Then, I wish for you to gather your men and their belongings. You will join me tonight, my consorts."

"Yes, Your Royal Highness." The men bow and leave, stunned at the way this meeting has gone. You order Advisor Williams to prepare the harem quarters and pack your own belongings secretly. It would be folly to live apart from the men who will be your new private guard and you would be lying if you weren't excited to see under those perfectly done uniforms.

[scarletcomalies]

Wanda has been your best friend for almost ten years now, meaning you could trust her to chat about anything, without restricting yourself by prudeness or filters. But that trust went too far one day.

Word count: 1,119

Warnings: 18+ content, guided masturbation through phone call, kind of innocent and inexperienced reader.

A/N: I promise I'm NOT procrastinating this story, you'll have it sooner than you think, but, well, college... 💔

It was a big step, considering that you failed to enjoy every time you explored yourself with your fingers alone. As much as you tried to play music, lie down, and imagine exciting scenes, you ended up frustrated because it wasn't enough. So you opted to buy a little help. Maybe this way you would be able to explore your tastes and to please yourself properly.

Your best friend, Wanda, had recommended an online site. It had all kinds of artefacts, many of which you didn't know existed, or considered too potent a level for a newbie like you. So you went with the safest option; a simple ten centimeter vibrator, with three levels of intensity.

And nothing...

You felt the tingle of the vibration inside you, but nothing built up. It was just a pleasurable sensation that led to nothing.

You had sent a message to Wanda, telling her that you had already received it, and just when you turned off the toy and put it aside, your phone notified a message from the redhead, where she asked you to tell her about your experience.

"It's useless, Wanda!" You answered, such a simple message but all your frustration could be transmitted in this one.

"What do you mean it's useless?" She replied.

"Maybe I'm anorgasmic or something, because I can't finish. I didn't feel it helped me."

You were perplexed when your phone screen displayed her name, indicating that you were receiving a call. This was unusual of her, but you didn't hesitate to answer.

"Honey," she let out a giggle, as soon as you picked up. "What exactly are you doing?"

"Well, when I feel needy, no matter how much I stimulate myself, I don't orgasm. Not even with the toy. It's horrible," you answered honestly.

These kind of talks were frequent between you, and that was something you loved about your friendship. No judgments, no prejudice, much less in the face of topics that, at the end of the day, were completely normal.

"Yeah, but what did you do with the vibrator?" She inquired.

"Well, I put it inside, the usual," you replied matter-of-factly. You didn't understand why other girls did get to feel something when they had something in there, and you didn't. Why you were more complex about everything?

"Just like that?" She exclaimed, and at your confirmation, she let out another laugh. "No, darling, you have to tease yourself, make yourself desperate for your own touch."

"And how do I even do that?" you asked curiously, but also with a hint of relief. She seemed to have the solution to your problem.

"It's complicated, do you want to try it now? I'll guide you through every step," she proposed.

The thought of hearing her voice guiding you, that she would be listening to you as you pleasured yourself, made the anticipation take over, again initiating that feeling that was begging to be satisfied.

When you thought of Wanda, or when you spent many hours together with her, that feeling came no matter how hard you tried to ignore it. It was no surprise when you realized that this was not something usual and that you definitely felt attraction towards her.

But you didn't want to ruin the friendship you treasured so much.

"No, that would be weird," you replied, feigning aversion to such a thing, when really, that was all you needed.

"Oh, come on!" Wanda exclaimed. "It wouldn't. I'd be helping you get to know yourself, please yourself. I won't even see you."

You sighed softly in resignation. She was right, maybe a lot of friends have given each other advice like that.

"Okay, fine," you agreed. "What do I do?"

Wanda was glad you couldn't see her smile of victory when you agreed, or else, she would've also given herself away.

"First, spread your legs, and place the tip of the vibrator on your clit," she instructed you.

You did as she asked, and no sooner had you pressed, when you felt an electric current run through your body in a matter of a fraction of a second.

"Oh, shit!" You exclaimed, withdrawing it as if by reflex.

"What do you feel?" She inquired curiously. She was aware such a cute little thing like you wouldn't be able to take it first time. But that was what she was there for.

"Weird, like a swift current!"

"Exactly! Please try to place it again, and little by little, apply pressure," she replied. "At your pace, there is no rush, darling," she purred, making your core throb in desperation at her raspy voice calling you that pet name.

Again, you did as she asked.

The intense vibration made all the nerve endings in that area react deliciously to the stimulus, and again, it sent that current through your body.

You let out a little murmur of pleasure, feeling yourself lose control over your body. Your back arched, your eyes closed, and your free hand fisted your sheets in an attempt to keep you grounded and resistant.

"Good girl, apply more pressure for me," Wanda added, noting from your murmurs that you were becoming familiar with the sensation.

Applying a little more pressure caused you to emanate your first moan since forever. That snapped you out of your trance briefly, and you realized you moaned with your friend on the other end of the phone.

"I'm sorry," you apologized, beginning to feel your cheeks heat up.

"None of that," she countered. "Don't hold back, let me hear you."

In a matter of minutes, you alone learned to listen to your body. You explored different areas and found your most sensitive spots. You were so focused on not leaving a single inch untouched, that you even forgot that Wanda was listening to the mess of moans, whimpers, and murmurs of her name that you were letting out.

"Mmm, Wanda!" They became more audible tones, signaling that you were close. There was too much to process, but Wanda decided to quiet her thoughts and allow herself to be delighted by the wonderful sounds you were making.

Hearing you cum for the first time was the most beautiful of all, by far.

A scream of pleasure too desperate, even animalistic, for your own good. Your so innocent set could not withstand that longing finally reaching its highest exponent, after so much stagnation. She was even surprised your little lungs allowed you to scream like that.

Wanda provoked all that in you, without having touched you... yet. But she made up her mind that it would change.

"Start over, but don't you dare cum," she commanded you. "I'm coming over in ten," she established, before hanging out.

[disasterofastory]

Ache [poly!141 x reader]

It’s an urge you can’t ignore anymore. It gnaws at your mind and burrows deep into your bones until they ache. It claws at your skin, making it feel too tight and too foreign; like an armor you've outgrown but can't shed. Your body has forgotten how to rest, and your soul is just as restless, pacing circles inside you, searching for escape.

So when you can't bear it anymore, the vast emptiness of your chest, you strip your life down to its bare skeleton. All the things that once defined you are reduced to whatever fits in the trunk of your car. And you don’t look back, not even once, because looking back might undo you.

That’s how you find yourself here, standing on the porch of a farm you only found by chance, thanks to a snippet of conversation overheard at a gas station miles away. The air smells of earth and hay, carried on a soft breeze that nudges the creaking rocking chairs into motion. In front of one of them, they are all mismatched, there is an old coffee mug, chipped and stained, serving as an ashtray.

You knock, loud and desperate. The sound shatters the quiet like a stone thrown into the still water. For a moment, nothing happens, and you are left staring at the peeling paint on the door, almost starting to wonder if this is a mistake.

Then it opens.

You become face-to-face with a man who is broad-shouldered and sun-weathered. His presence is as solid as the land around you. His funny hat is slightly askew over his face framed by an impressive beard. He blinks at you. “Can I help you, miss?”

And then, it all spills out. Words tumble from your lips, frantic and jagged. Each one is sharp with the frustration and exhaustion that have been festering inside you for years. You talk and talk, unable to stop because you don’t know how to hold it back anymore, or how to describe the burning ache that feels like it’s eating you alive. You tell him how your life doesn’t feel like your own anymore, how it itches and stings like a poorly healed wound. You confess the tiredness, that bone-deep, soul-deep weariness that presses on you heavier with every passing second. And you admit that you don’t know the first thing about farming, but the world, too loud and too fast, beyond this porch is drowning you and you can’t keep up anymore.

Your words are met with a heavy silence. You stop, your hands twisting nervously at your sides, the weight of everything you’ve just confessed sinking in. When you finally look up, you are no longer facing just one man but four. They stand there, still as statues, eyes wide as if you’ve just dropped a live grenade at their feet.

And, somehow, they let you stay.

Kyle’s the first to agree. He’s got a soft spot for women in distress. Always has. It doesn’t matter if this life isn’t for you in the end; he won’t let you leave until he knows you are steady enough to stand on your own.

Johnny adopts strays without thinking anyway. They already have too many cats, dogs, and more than a few animals that no one else wants. What’s one more?

Simon, sharp-eyed and quiet, sees the desperation burning in you, the same raw, untamed fire that once drove him to join the army. The way you claw at yourself as if trying to peel away layers of your existence to become something, anything, new. It hits too close to home. Letting you walk away would feel like turning his back on the version of himself he barely survived.

And John? John doesn’t say much, but then, he doesn’t need to. He just knows. His eyes hold an understanding as if he’s seen this kind of desperation before (ghost). He sees the quiet fire behind your exhaustion, the need to start over because continuing as you were is no longer an option. He knows you will fit here, in a way you can't even explain yet.

“Guess you’d better come in,” he finally says, stepping aside to make room.

For the first time in what feels like forever, you breathe.

[cripplecharacters]

Facial Differences that You Should Consider Representing in Your Writing More

[large text: Facial Differences that You Should Consider Representing in Your Writing More]

As it has been said many times on this blog before, facial differences are a very wide spectrum - there’s thousands of conditions that cause it, and they’re often extremely different from each other. It’s an incredibly diverse category almost by definition. But…

In books, movies, and our inbox, it seems that a traumatic battle scar is the only facial difference that exists. I find this rather frustrating because I would like to see the real life diversity to be actually considered by writers when creating characters - and that’s exactly what this post is for. I hope that by making people just aware of the myriad of options they have, I can help a bit. 

This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t write characters with scars, it’s to say that there’s more for you to consider. Just like not every physically disabled person has hip dysplasia and not every neurodivergent person has epilepsy, not every person with a facial difference has scars.

Of course, this list isn’t exhaustive - no such list exists, it would be like “list of every disability ever”, it simply can’t be done. This is just a dozen random facial differences that I would like to see incorporated into characters more often.

Facial paralysis Exactly what the name implies. There are many types of facial paralysis - complete, partial, bilateral, unilateral, chronic, acute, and it can affect the whole face, or only part of it.  Sometimes it can cause problems with speech or dry eyes (mostly the latter), but it’s frequently just primarily a visual difference. A person with facial paralysis might be completely unable to make facial expressions at all if it’s severe, or have a lop-sided smile and inability to raise an eyebrow or control an eyelid like me. Causes include cranial nerve damage (especially the 7th nerve, which is called facial palsy), Bell’s palsy, Möbius syndrome, or multiple sclerosis! It can be congenital, like in my case, or acquired, like in most cases - mostly due to stroke. Here I would write something about the current media representation being good, bad, or what tropes to look out for but I don’t know a single character with it. So :-)

Anotia/microtia Microtia is a congenital facial difference that affects the outer ear(s) - as the name implies, they’re smaller than average; anotia means a complete lack of them. This usually will also result in being d/Deaf or hard of hearing in that ear, as the ear canal can be smaller or closed (depending on the “grade”). People with microtia who decide on using hearing aids will usually wear a bone-anchored hearing aid, which looks very differently from the “regular” HA; it’s worn with a headband. Microtia can be the only facial difference that a person has, but it can also be a part of Goldenhar syndrome, Treacher Collins syndrome (mentioned below), or hemifacial microsomia.

Congenital Trochlear Nerve palsy I have a subtype of this, and because it happens to have the most boring name in existence I have never seen anyone talk about it, certainly not see a character with it. So; CNIV palsy (again, an incredibly catchy name) is a disorder of one of the very easy to damage nerves that allow eyes to move. It causes constant double vision, severe strabismus, and progressive facial asymmetry. A person with CNIV palsy will have a 24/7 head tilt to the side and will have their chin tucked in, which causes said asymmetry - facial features on the side of the tilt will sag down, the eye will “sunk” in, and because it’s congenital, the jaw can grow to be misaligned (like mine). Over time, it causes neck pain and kyphosis, so add chronic pain to that. Trochlear nerve palsy can be congenital, acquired, traumatic, and even extremely rarely genetic (that’s me, allegedly <1 in a million). However, most acquired cases are only temporary, and “fix themselves” with the passage of time. Again, I would love to write something about CNIV palsy representation, but I’m confident it literally doesn’t exist : )

Sturge-Weber syndrome The most visible part of SWS - that you might be familiar with - are port wine stains. In this syndrome, they tend to be large and generally cover the forehead-eye area. Around 15% of people with any kind of port wine stain on their face have Sturge-Weber syndrome, and even more when it comes to larger ones. Most people with SWS will have epilepsy since childhood, and many will develop glaucoma (which causes blindness) if the PWS is around that eye. Hemiparesis (one-sided weakness) can also sometimes happen on the opposite side of the PWS. Here is a short article about media representation from a person with SWS.

Cystic Hygroma Also known as lymphangioma, it is a bump that mostly happens on a person’s lower face and/or neck. It’s almost always congenital and a result of a blockage in the lymphatic system (thus lymphangioma). Sometimes, if it affects the mouth or jaw, it may cause a speech disability where the person’s speech might not be fully understandable, or cause an airway obstruction; this generally means that the person has to have a trach tube in their neck to breathe. Here is a short article about living and growing up with cystic hygroma by Atholl Mills.

Congenital melanocytic nevus A complicated name for a specific kind of birthmark. Melanocytic means related to melanin, so it’s a black or brown birthmark that can show up on any part of the body and be of almost any size. Sometimes it can be hairy as well. While CMN doesn’t usually cause any problems, people who have it can have a higher risk of skin cancer, epilepsy, and brain tumors (if it's on the head). Here is a short article on representation - among other things - by a person with CMN.

Ptosis Ptosis is actually really common - I can almost guarantee that you have seen someone with it - but for some reason it never shows up in media, unless it’s to show that a character is under the influence or vaguely creepy. Ptosis is simply a drooped eyelid. It’s caused by damage to the third cranial nerve, which can be congenital, acquired, traumatic, etc. It’s very common in myasthenia gravis and CHARGE syndrome. In most cases ptosis is a visual thing, but it can sometimes cause problems - for me, it partially obstructs my vision and for some people who acquired it later in life that can cause pain (due to having to constantly lift the eyebrow). Ptosis is often misunderstood, and people tend to make bizarre assumptions about those of us who have it - even Wikipedia cites “looking sinister” as a symptom (not that I particularly trust Wikipedia as a source, but it shows the general public’s view quite well). In real life, we are normal people and all these “drunk/high/rude/evil” associations aren’t true at all.

Treacher Collins syndrome You have probably seen a person with TCS at some point, as it’s not that rare. This is a genetic, congenital disability that affects the development of the face. The bones of the jaw and cheeks are underdeveloped, eyes have a downturned shape, and microtia/anotia is often present as well. A lot of people with Treacher Collins are d/Deaf or hard of hearing. Sometimes, the small jaw might cause problems with breathing, which is why a lot of people with TCS will have a permanent tracheostomy tube in their neck. Similar to ptosis, eyes in TCS are often seen as “looking sad”, but that’s an incorrect assumption - that’s just how they look like. The main and only big representation of TCS in media is that one awful movie from a few years ago, that was literally just inspiration porn featuring an able-bodied actor based on a shitty book, made by an author with some sort of abled-person guilt. Very cool, don’t do that.

Crouzon syndrome Crouzon syndrome is a type of craniosynostosis; a congenital condition where a person’s skull fuses too early. There are other disabilities that can look somewhat similar, like Pfeiffer or Apert syndrome, but they are different!. CS will affect the person's skull - it will be taller than usual, eyes - they will be large and bulging, midface - it's often smaller than average and can look sunk in comparison to the jaw and forehead, and more. Sometimes people with Crouzon syndrome are d/Deaf or hard of hearing (very common with craniofacial differences), or experience long term effects of hydrocephalus, which happens fairly often. Here is a short article by Mikaela Moody about movie representation - and her piece on how it to be trans while having a facial difference, which I relate to a lot and wanted to share.

Phthisis bulbi Phthisis bulbi is something that I have mentioned on this blog before, as it logistically should be represented way more often in fiction than it currently is. It's also known as the “end-stage eye” which is a metal name. This is an ocular difference that can result after trauma to the eye. It can also result from a million other things, but trauma is apparently the most common thing to happen to an eye in fiction. With phthisis bulbi, the eye shrinks, sinks, and everything inside becomes stiff; this is permanent, and the eye isn't functional anymore - it's blind and unable to move. The only treatment is to have the eye removed, especially if it causes pain. If you're writing a character who got a Hot Sexy Scar over their eye and still has that eye, they probably should have this (and yes, the “shrunk and sunk” part is mandatory, you can't just make the eye lighter and call it a day).

Frontonasal dysplasia Frontonasal dysplasia is a congenital facial difference that affects the structure of the face. While it's a spectrum with a lot of variety, most people with FND will have hypertelorism (eyes spread widely apart), a flat and broad nose, and a cleft going through the middle of the nose. Other facial clefts (not necessarily just cleft lip) are also common. Sometimes, someone with it can also have cranium bifidum (meaning a brain/meninges that protrude through the skull, similar to how spina bifida works), or intellectual disability related to the potential absence of corpus callosum. Rarely, limb differences can also be a part of it; absent tibia, extra toes, or clubfoot. Again, I’m unaware of any representation of FND outside of “scary birth deformity” on medical shows =)

Parry–Romberg syndrome PRS is also known as progressive hemifacial atrophy, which is a much more descriptive name. It’s an acquired facial difference that people just get for unknown reasons, mostly before the age of 20 and usually between 5 and 15. Generally, PRS is considered to be slowly-progressing, but this can vary pretty widely between different people. As the name implies, it causes atrophy in the face, which affects everything from skin to fat and muscles to sometimes even bones. Some people will also experience skin darkening, alopecia (hair loss), or trigeminal neuralgia (very severe nerve pain) on the atrophied side. The difference between the two sides can be very pronounced, with a visible line between the halves showing up on the forehead. Again, no existing rep that I know of =)

And as always, I recommend this short PDF that in my opinion any writer who wants to include a character with an FD has to read. Additionally, you can also check our #face difference tag, this primer on facial difference, or this piece on making sure you’re not contributing to disfiguremisia.

Also apologies for the amount of “idk what to say about already existing rep because it literally doesn’t exist” but I hope it illustrates the problem =)

Happy Face Equality Week,

mod Sasza

[hemlock-dreams]

Hypothetically, if you were going to write hunting!spider as a fic, how would you do it? Like, where would the story start—with Peter as the bartender, or his backstory? Would you flash back to his old universe?

-🕊️

Like this: ITS A FIC NOW!!

Check is out: Here!

Peter hasn’t worn the suit since here got here. He hasn’t done much in the last two months of his new existence beyond haunting New York like a phantom, trying to figure out who he is and where he stands in a reality that hasn’t been unfortunate enough to have a Peter Parker in the first place.

Or a Spiderman.

Strange hadn’t been kidding about the magic. Peter feels like the victim of his own hubris, asking for a clean start, a world where no one knew him. He’d asked and he’d been delivered.

Almost. 

The world is there, technically, but it’s like looking at a painting he’s seen a thousand times, only to realize the details are off. It’s the phones with the home button on the bottom, the different slang, the green money, all his favorite songs with wildly different lyrics, so many painful differences- a slow death by a thousand cuts.

Peter thought it would be easier, like a new beginning stretching out ahead of him, the sea-breeze smell of a fresh start after stepping out of Ryker’s. 

But Uncle Ben isn’t waiting for him at the docks this time. Nothing is waiting except the uncanny arms of a city that used to know him. Like running into an ex after years apart, recognizing the same general shape, but being strangers all the same.

Damn it. He should have asked Strange to take his memories too.

At least then Peter would know what to do with himself instead of haunting Brooklyn at night like a ghost, fighting the cognitive dissonance of taking turns he used to know like the back of his hand, only to be startled when they lead into dead-ends or open out into streets that shouldn’t exist.

That’s why he hasn’t worn the suit. Because forget being Spiderman, who the hell is Peter, here?

His melancholy is interrupted by a woman’s voice, faint if not for Peter’s enhanced senses.

“Listen, you’re a sweet guy, but I don’t like mixing work and my personal life.” The voice is extra sweet in the way women get when trying to talk themselves out of a dangerous situation.

No matter the lifetime, Peter can’t ignore that.

So he changes course, beelining towards the source with silence that’s more instinct than experience. He sticks to the shadows, easily avoiding the few flickering streetlights between him and the alleyway. His night vision pierces the darkness, tracing down the detailed shape of the tall, lanky man cornering a woman in the middle of the alley. 

He’s leaning, off-balance, clearly drunk, and boxing her in with one leather-clad arm, “Come on, Scarlett. I been asking for your number for weeks. Just one date, give a guy a chance, huh?”

Well, it was comforting to know that no matter the timeline, scum remained scum. 

“Paul, you’re wasted.” The woman- Scarlett, is draped against the wall, seemingly at ease and deceptively loose-limbed, even as she fists a set of keys between her knuckles, “Why don’t we have this discussion somewhere a little nicer? There’s a cute cafe that’s open tomorrow-”

“Fuck that. It’s always one excuse after another with you,” The guy- Paul- snarls, swaying from one foot to the other. The frustration is a ticking bomb,  “Why are you bein’ such a fucking bitch?”

Like clockwork, the slurs come out, and a peaceful resolution is no longer an option.

Scarlett realizes it too, because the hum of anxiety lacing her syrupy-sweet tone finally bleeds into her body. Her muscles lock, visibly entering fight or flight. 

That’s Peter’s cue.

“Is there a problem?” Peter’s voice is like a knife in the dark, popping the bubble and making the two flinch.

“Who the fuck are you?” Paul sneers, face slack and ugly from drink. “The fuck you think you’re doing, butting in?”

Peter ignores him, glancing towards Scarlett, who flicks her eyes between them and the rest of the alleyway. Unfortunately, there’s only one entrance and he’s blocking it. Out of options, Scarlett plasters herself to the wall.

“This is between the lady and me.” Paul is still talking, stumbling towards Peter, “But I’m a nice guy, so I’m going to give you a chance to turn ‘round and walk away.”

“Generous, but I’ll have to decline.” Peter murmurs and crosses the distance, invading his space before the man can respond. The promise of violence always lights something in Peter’s stomach, but for all the man’s shit-talking, the fight, if it can even be called that, is pathetic. Paul is so drunk Peter can taste it in the air, and his spidersense doesn’t even bother kicking in as he dodges one wobbly punch after the other. 

He doesn’t bother dragging it out. It only takes one good fist to the gut to drop Paul to the ground, followed by one good kick to the chest to keep him there. The aftermath is anticlimactic, awkward silence punctuated only by the rattling wheeze of the unconscious man beneath him.

Even pulling his punches, Peter probably cracked his ribs. It would take more effort than he’s got to feel sorry, especially since Scarlett is still glued to the wall, eyes trained on him and practically vibrating with adrenaline.

Slowly, Peter creates some space, backing out of the alleyway so he’s not obstructing the exit. “You gonna be alright?”

“Yeah.” Her reply is curt and wary, but Peter isn’t offended. He knows what he looks like, looming in the dark with his ratty clothes and unkempt beard. Best thing he can do to convince her of her safety is to walk away. 

So he does just that, and he’s almost halfway down the block when he hears her behind him, clacking heels loudly in the chill night air, “Wait!”

Peter pauses, turning around. 

Scarlett stops a few meters away, clutching the strap of her gym bag over her chest. “Sorry. That was rude of me. Thank you.”

Under the streetlights, her face is striking. Her bright green eyes are smoky and sensual, with bold cheekbones and dark lips framed by wisps of red hair falling out of a messy bun. She’s exactly the type of woman Peter would fantasize about back in Rykers, the kind he would see on pinups in Marko’s cell- tall and feminine, with lean legs and a waist Peter could span with both hands. 

The resolute look on her face reminds him so much of M-

He shunts that thought as soon as it appears.

“Don’t worry about it,” Peter responds with a shrug. He’s not stupid enough to lecture a grown woman about walking the streets at night. “Was there something else?”

Scarlett chews on her lip, eyes flicking back to the alley before settling on Peter for a few long beats. Whatever she sees in him makes her sigh, and some of the tension leeches from her shoulders. “Feel like walking a girl to her job?” 

Peter is a little surprised, and he takes a second to consider, mostly so he doesn’t look threatening, then nods, “Where to?” 

“Maggies.” At his confused look, she raises a brow, “Saint Margaret’s?” 

Still not ringing a bell, “Is that a…church?” He doesn’t remember any Saint Margaret’s in his Brooklyn, and it just reinforces that fish-out-of-water feeling that’s been choking him for the past few months.

“A church, sure.” Scarlett snorts derisively, laughing under her breath. When Peter doesn’t join in, she shoots him a wide-eyed look, “Oh. You’re serious. It’s an dance bar”  

Walking at night makes more sense now. That, and the obvious stage name. “I don’t know where that is. I’m…kind of new in town.”

“I can see that,” She says, and the gold of her hoop earrings catches the light as she falls in step beside him. Peter keeps his strides short and even, staying in her line of vision as they walk. It doesn’t escape his notice that she’s still got her keys between her knuckles, though they’re no longer clutched in a tight fist, “What brought you to New York, Mr. Good Samaritan?”

“Peter.” He says. “I was looking for a fresh start and kind of washed up here,” Peter feels like he’s being called out on some lie, as if anyone glancing in his direction will peg that he doesn’t belong.

But Scarlet is just nodding, unawares, “Nice to meet you, Peter. And I get it. That's why I moved here, too. It might take a bit of time to get your bearings, but it's worth it when you do." They’re heading down the street, taking a turn on 81st that should have led into a main thoroughfare but doesn’t, instead turning into another little set of streets full of gated-off shops covered in graffiti. Even the gang signs don’t look the same. He tries not to think about it.

“I appreciate what you did,” Scarlett is saying, “Paul’s been a pushy bastard but I thought it was all drunk bravado, you know? I never believed he’d actually follow me. I’m glad you were there, but I’m sorry it had to end in violence.”

Resorting to violence is one of Peter’s favorite pastimes, but he’s absolutely not going to admit that out loud. Instead, he hums, tucking his hands into his stained hoodie, “Some people only listen when it's fists talking. Hopefully the lesson sticks.” Peter frowns, “You said he followed you, does that mean he knows where you live?”

Men like that tend to hold grudges. Especially if they've been had their head knocked around in an alleyway.

“Thank god, no.” She shudders next to him, gripping the strap of her bag a little tighter at the thought, “He caught me coming from my day job. I’ll have to tell Weasel to put him on the blacklist for the club though…and change my shift. Ugh.” 

Peter nods in sympathy. Shiting schedules between two jobs is going to be a nightmare. “Weasel?” 

“The owner of Maggie’s.” She clarifies.

“Your boss is named Weasel?” Yikes. Peter can’t imagine what kind of shit someone had to do to earn that nickname.

“Yeah.” She laughs, “But don’t let the name fool you, he’s weird but he’s decent. There are lots of other clubs in the area but Weas lets us have a bigger cut than most other places. Plus, we get to set our own rules.” 

They cut the street, avoiding some dark patches where the streetlights gave out.

“That’s good.” Peter agrees, “Otherwise this is a pretty sketchy walk for a small paycheck.”  

It really is a sketchy walk, and his spidersense pings at odd moments, though nothing comes out of it save the odd junkie that wanders out of the shadows.

“I’ve had worse,” Scarlett shrugs, finally tucking her keys back into her purse. The stiff line of her shoulders has completely melted away now that they’re in what Peter assumes is familiar territory. “This is nothing compared to my last job.” 

“Which was?” 

“Telemarketing.”

Peter would rather take his chances soloing Thanos. “Point taken.” 

“We’re almost there. Just down the road.” Scarlett points one long acrylic nail toward a looming brick building punctuating the street. Peter wouldn’t have given it a second thought if not for the single garish neon sign of a scantily dressed nun at the corner, directing his attention towards a nondescript door.

“Welcome to Saint Margaret’s School for Wayward Children,” Scarlett enunciates each word with an eyebrow waggle, grinning when Peter cracks a smile. “Finest entertainment this side of Brooklyn. Thanks for walking me.” 

Peter doesn’t doubt it, especially if Scarlett is where they set the bar for dancers. “No worries. Stay safe, yeah?” Then he turns, intending to keep walking until his head is empty.

Scarlett pauses with her hand on the door, “You’re not going to come in?” 

“Not really my scene.” A true statement, one that doesn’t have to acknowledge that Peter is capital-b Broke. Hard to get a proper-paying job when he doesn’t legally exist. He’s done a few gigs under the table, but the last few weeks have left Peter sleeping on empty rooftops with an emptier stomach. 

“Really? I was hoping I could treat you to a drink. It’s the least I can do.” Scarlett sounds disappointed.

“You don’t owe me anything.” 

She puts a hand on her hip, “Fine. Let’s consider it a celebratory drink then.”

“For?”

“Ugh,” Scarlett rolls her eyes. There’s no way she doesn’t know how charming that is. “For getting rid of Paul. Making new friends- whatever you want.”

Peter huffs a small laugh, “Friends? We just met.” 

It’s not an outright refusal, because Peter is weak for the first real taste of human contact he’s had in months, and Scarlett smirks like she scents blood, “What can I say? I got a good feeling about you.”

Peter snorts. Now that’s a first. 

“C’mon, Tiger. One drink. What have you got to lose?”

Peter exhales a long, slow breath, “Nothing.”

[cherryobx]

Prom season

request: here

pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

summary: you tell your best friend Rafe no one's asked you to prom and he insists on taking you (because he's down bad)

warnings: language, insecurities about appearance and behavior, lovesick Rafe, angsty, oc side character

wc: 2.4k

“I seriously don’t know who to go with!” Emma groans, shoving a couple of fries in her mouth. “Like 4 people have asked me already and I don’t know how I’m supposed to choose.”

She’s been venting the whole lunch break about her prom struggles. She has 4 people to choose from and it’s her biggest dilemma to date. It’s all she’s been talking about the last couple of weeks. You wouldn’t mind it if it wasn’t for how she keeps rubbing it in your face that she’s got so many options while you haven’t got a single one. No one’s asked you. For a while you kept hoping that someone was going to ask. Maybe that guy in biology who keeps asking for your notes or that dude in your English class who you sometimes study in the library with. Or even your best friend, Rafe. But no one’s asked yet and now you’ve lost all hope. Prom’s soon, everyone who plans on going already has a date.

It’s always been like this. For as long as you can remember, all the guys have gone for your friends. Sometimes they make conversation with you first before asking for your friend’s number or if they’re single. Over the years it has affected your confidence and mental health more than you’d like to admit. Was it the way you looked? Were you awkward? Were you too tall or too short? You couldn’t for the life of you figure out why no one ever approached you like they approached your friends. You weren’t in any way lesser than them. So what was it?

You absentmindedly push your lunch around the plate with your fork, not really focusing on her constant chatter.

While Emma’s talking your ear off about the struggle of choosing a date, you’ve also got a dilemma brewing in your head. There’s no way you’re gonna go alone. That would be embarrassing, you think. That means you’re going to have to sit out prom entirely. But that also feels wrong. Prom is such a staple in every young person’s school experience and you know for certain that you’d feel shitty for missing out. 

“What’s wrong?” Rafe asks as you hop into his car after school and throw your backpack in the backseat before buckling in. He has always been good at reading you, ever since you two became friends, best friends. He just knew by the way your shoulders were slumped and how you walked to his car that something had happened.

“Nothing.” You angle your knees towards the car door and stare out the window, crossing your arms on your chest.

“Talk to me,” he presses but you won’t budge.

“Just drive.”

He looks at you with a puzzled expression for a second before shaking his head, putting the car in drive and pulling out of the school parking lot.

He will find out what’s bothering you.

Rafe pulls up to your driveway. As soon as his car rolls to a stop, you’ve unbuckled yourself and grabbed your backpack. You exit the car swiftly and walk to the house without waiting for him.

This is bad, he thinks. Something is very wrong because you’re almost never this cold to him. He turns the ignition off, trying to figure out if he’s done something to upset you. If he did, he can’t recall it.

“Did I do something?” he barges into your room right after you, having caught up to you in the hallway. The door slams shut after him, the bang of it echoing through the house.

“What?” you turn to him after throwing your backpack on the ground next to the desk.

“You’re clearly mad at me and frankly I can’t figure out what I have done to deserve this treatment.”

“Not everything is about you, Rafe. I’m not mad at you but I’d like for you to go home.”

He shakes his head, trying to wrap his head around this. “So you are mad at me?”

“I just said I’m not! I just wanna be alone right now,” you groan in frustration and pinch the bridge of your nose. You didn’t mean to unleash all these pent up emotions on him and if he had left after dropping you off like planned, you wouldn’t have to have this conversation with him.

“You are! Clearly something is wrong and you refuse to talk about it. I’m not gonna leave things like this and just go home. That’s bullshit. You know me better than this.”

And then you snap. All of the negative emotions from the past couple of weeks take you over. “I still haven’t been asked to prom. And that makes me feel like shit, like a complete loser. Is that what you wanna hear?”

Rafe’s lips are sealed shut and he doesn’t know how to react.

“I’ve been feeling sorry for myself for weeks because no one seems to want anything to do with me. What is so wrong with me that absolutely no one wants to go to this stupid fucking prom with me? Emma got asked four times. Four fucking times! And I haven’t still gotten asked a single time. Not once! That was all I wanted. I wanted one person to ask me. Just one! And no one did. All of my friends have found their dates. I even bought the dress and I was so excited to wear it and now I won’t have the chance because no one thinks I’m worthy enough. Am I that invisible?”

Your emotions are all over the place and that tipped you over, you burst into tears. They’re streaming down your cheeks. It feels embarrassing to be crying in front of him. You’ve done it before, of course, but this feels different.

“Hey.” His voice is soft as he takes a step closer. He hesitates just for a second before wrapping his arms around you. One of his hands snakes around your waist and the other cradles the back of your head. He holds you against him as you sob into his t-shirt, fisting the fabric in your hands. But he doesn’t mind that one bit.

“You are not the problem. Not one bit. And absolutely nothing is wrong with you. It’s not your fault that everyone else is an idiot. They don’t know what they’re missing out on.”

“You’re just saying that,” you sniffle, voice weak and quiet, barely above a whisper.

“No, I’m saying it because it’s true.” You still don’t believe him. He’s your best friend. He’s supposed to say stuff like that.

A beat of silence passes before you speak up again. “No one ever chooses me. And it hurts, you know. Everyone always goes for my friends, sometimes using me in the process to get to them. It makes me feel like shit, Rafe. I feel so unwanted. And this prom thing is just making this feeling grow worse and I hate it. I don’t wanna feel like the last choice anymore. I’m tired.”

Rafe feels sorry for how you’ve been treated. And angry. How is it possible that you, the most wonderful, beautiful, and funny person he knows, has been enduring this and hurting in silence? Who has dared to make you feel like you’re not enough? How is it possible that you’ve never felt like anyone's first choice? You’re his first choice. You’re enough for him. He’d choose you every day if you’d let him. He wants to kill everyone who has ever made you feel bad about yourself. You haven’t deserved this in the slightest.

He’s not sure what he should do. He doesn’t know if he should confess how he’s been feeling for the past couple of years to show you that there is someone who’d put you first. 

“I’ll take you to prom.”

You pull back a bit at his words, staring at him dumbfounded with your red puffy eyes. “What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’? I’ll take you.” His fingers gently run through your hair. You don’t think he even acknowledges doing it.

“No.” You take a step back, out of his warm and comforting arms. You wrap your arms around yourself, suddenly feeling vulnerable under his gaze.

Now it’s his turn to be dumbfounded. He hadn’t expected that to come out of your mouth. “What do you mean ‘no?’”

“I don’t want your pity, Rafe. I’m not letting you take me to prom just because you feel sorry for me.”

“I don’t feel sorry for you! I feel sorry for others because they can’t see what’s right in front of them. I want to take you to prom. I want you to get to wear that dress. I want you to have fun. I want you to not regret going years later. I want to make you happy. I would’ve asked you in a heartbeat if I had known that no one had taken up the opportunity to ask you. I was so sure you already had a date. I would’ve pulled out all the stops and given you the most embarrassing promposal ever.”

You feel your heart tighten in your chest at his words. His voice is pleading and he’s so desperate for you to hear what he’s actually saying.

“Why are you saying all that? I’m not some charity case. I’m not some problem for you to fix. No one asked me to prom, no one chose me, no one has ever asked me out, but that’s my burden to deal with.”

He furrows his brows. “That’s not what this is! I’m not trying to fix you or invite you to prom out of pity. I fucking love you! Why can’t you see that? I want to take you to prom because you want to go and I would do anything to make you happy.”

Your mind short circuits as your mouth hangs open as you just stand there. “You…love me?”

“Of course I fucking love you,” he states, like it’s obvious. 

Rafe loves you. And you had no idea. You try to think back to all the moments when he’s gone above and beyond for you. All the moments you felt like he was trying something, all the gifts, all the compliments and the sleeping over almost every other night. Was that just him trying to show you he cared more than he let on? That he cared about you more than a best friend should?

“Me? Why?” You can’t believe it. This must be a dream because what the fuck.

“Why? Because I just do. I think you’re the most beautiful, amazing and caring person in the whole world and it pains me that you don’t see that. I love you because you’re always yourself around me. You’ve wormed yourself into my heart and my head and no matter how much or what I try I can’t get you out. You occupy my every waking thought and you won’t even leave me alone at night in my dreams. I think about you constantly and I feel almost sick when I’m not next to you. You are and have been my first choice for so long. I’d choose you in a room full of my family and closest friends without a second thought. I care about you more than anyone else in my life. And if I lose you after this confession I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you. I don’t know if I can let you go. I don’t want to let you go. I’ll understand if you don’t feel the same and despise me now. I’ll find it in my heart to accept that. But I won’t stop loving you. I refuse to do that. I don’t think I’m capable of not loving you.”

A tear falls from your eye and rolls down your cheek. Rafe reaches out and wipes it away with his thumb.

“Do you mean all that? You’re not fucking with me?” Rafe hears the insecurities speaking for you.

“I’d never, and I mean never, fuck with you about this. This is real, this is what I feel.”

“Really?” 

“Really,” he confirms with a nod.

You take a step closer to him and hesitantly wrap your arms around his torso, placing your head against his chest so you’d hear his heartbeat and you feel it grounding you. You’re speechless and he can tell so he just holds you for a while. He did just drop a life-changing bomb on you.

“I love you too, you know.” Your voice is barely a whisper but it’s enough for him to hear. “I just never thought you’d feel the same.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head and then keeps his lips there. He inhales the familiar scent that is just so uniquely yours and he can’t seem to get enough of it.

“Well, I do. Always will.”

You raise your head from his chest and look up at him. “You can’t promise that.”

“Yes, I can. I’ve known for years that I will always love you, doesn’t matter if we’re friends or together. My feelings for you will never change.”

One of his hands leaves your body and he extends his pinky towards you. It makes you laugh. Pinky promises have been your thing since forever. It’s childish but that’s how you always knew he meant what he said, that he intended to stay true to his word.

You wrap your pinky around his in a silent promise and Rafe doesn’t hesitate to lean down and press his lips against yours. Your pinkies are intertwined as you kiss him in your bedroom. A concept so wild you think you might pass out. You’re kissing Rafe Cameron. Rafe fucking Cameron. Your best friend. Yet it feels so right.

After a while he pulls away and his forehead rests against yours as you catch your breath. Your heart is racing with adrenaline and happiness. This is so surreal.

“So… prom?” he asks.

“I don’t care about that anymore.”

“Too bad, we’re going.”

And he stays true to his word. He picks you up at the agreed time. He makes sure you know that you’re absolutely gorgeous and that dress suits you so well. He opens doors for you and dances with you all night. He’s glued to your side the whole time and makes sure that this is the best goddamn prom in the history of proms. For you. He’d do anything for you.

[inosukijiro]

𝗚𝗜𝗬𝗨𝗨 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗦 𝗧𝗢 𝗖𝗥𝗢𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗧

𝙨𝙮𝙣. ━ giyuu decides its time to tell you how he feels.

━ 𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨. this is part two. or not, it really doesn’t matter if you read the first part. loved this idea bc i love crochet. currently making a giyuu amigurumi doll atm, so yay me ig

━ 𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨. im so sorry for being gone for almost two months. i was burnt out. but i have lots of prompts / plot ideas written down and just have to finish them. also also!! season 4 was crazy, i loved every minute of it but that ending – im so not ready for the final arc. anyways, thank you for the support as usual, luv u besties

━ 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨. fluff. use of swear words (not a lot, but they are there). giyuu-centric. modern reader in kny. mentions of crochet and amigurumi. gender-neutral reader. also very poor dialogue probably, i avoid talking irl so yk. 1.9k words.

first part (optional); giyuu has a crush

Giyuu is about to have a stroke. He’s alone in his room late at night. He should be sleeping, but he can't imagine doing so. The moon light is coming through his window and all he can do is stare at the crochet hook in his hand as his fingers remain still. He is hunched, hovering over a ball of yarn in his lap. He can't shake the feeling of inadequacy that heavily weighed on him because he really has no idea what he’s doing.

You had this habit of making him gifts. Cute little amigurumi things and it had become a habit of his waiting when you’ll show up with one just for him. They’re almost always an animal or some sea creature, maybe even a small plant that he has sitting on display in his room somewhere. They are always so adorable and tiny, always fitting in the palm of his hand. It's almost like clockwork at this point, and Giyuu is always so flattered to receive them.

He remembers the little tiny baby sea turtle you have made for him. Its flippers rested against the palms of his cupped hands; its eyes and lids sewed on so perfectly along with the rest of it. It’s so intricate, he almost thought it was real. He remembers bringing it up to his face, staring at it in its tiny face, because for some reason this time he really didn’t know how to act.

He remembers you giggling, quickly explaining that you really didn’t know what to make him this time – lies, you have so many patterns. You just care too much about his opinion and his likes. Honestly, you could make him anything you wanted and he would be happy.

❛ And then I thought, ‘well you are the Water Pillar after all’. And I thought the sea turtle was kinda cute too, so I wanted to make it for you. Now you have a little friend to keep you company on your mission! ❜

Now here he was, with little idea of what he was doing. A frustrated sigh left his lips. He began working the yarn along with the hook – all his movement completely hesitant and fumbling. It would be a lie to say that he had never been skillful with his hands; he is a swordsman after all. However, it was clear that he wasn’t as skillful as you regarding this, and it makes sense. He had never picked up any knitting or crochet hooks until tonight at this ungodly hour.

Sure, he could have just crafted a wooden figurine. It is something he vaguely knows how to do, and seems like a more appealing thought now, plus, he knows that you would love it either way. But all he wanted to do was something special. He wanted to convey his feelings to you through what you love doing the most and give you something that he knows you would like. And for about a moment he wonders if this is a good idea. Then decides that he doesn’t care anymore. This is going to make or break him. He procrastinated this long enough.

Though hours passed and Giyuu is shocked to consider it done. He hoped it was. He glances over at his window and the sun is barely over the horizon. And as much as Giyuu loves you, he can't do this again. No, that is also a lie. He would if you asked. But he couldn’t help but feel disgruntled. He didn’t even know what he made. It is some type of plushie. It has a big body with some stubby legs. Its arms are almost the length of it too, if not longer, making them seem like large floppy paws. Its head; he is unsure if it's too big as it’s the same size as the body, but it’s a bit too late now to do anything about it. He made small ears on the top, and added some type of embroidery to make the eyes – as no buttons seemed to look right to him. There was no nose or mouth either, because Giyuu couldn’t figure out how to add them without making it look worse than it already does.

He frowned at the finished product, before hanging his head. It was done, yes. But to him, he knows that he could have done a much better job. And the pang of disappointment didn’t help. Because surely you deserve something better than this crude attempt at a gift.

However, for some reason Giyuu was oddly excited. Maybe it was the ice cold water he almost drowned himself awake to. But he really didn’t pay it any mind. Maybe he just didn’t care anymore. Maybe he just wanted to get it over with. He was afraid, so very afraid because this was the first time he was outwardly seeking your validation. But he was also anticipating the interaction. Because you were so nice. And he shouldn’t be afraid.

So here he was now, standing in front of you. And suddenly, he can't remember why he was so afraid in the first place. You looked so delightfully happy just like he had hoped. He watched as you took the plush from his hand, your fingers just barely brushing against his. And he felt his palms get clammy again. You were so delicate with it, and honestly, if you had asked Giyuu, perhaps you were a bit too delicate. He didn’t think that it deserved such care. He watched as you brushed your thumb over the soft yarn. Your eyes staring intently at it, and Giyuu couldn’t place the look you were giving.

“Giyuu, it’s adorable!” Your eyes sparked just a little bit when you looked back up at him. The plush is pressed against your chest right now. So softly, almost protectively and Giyuu actually can't believe it. Truly, he is in disbelief. You actually liked it? You really must’ve, because you’re going on about the plush; gushing over it and completely unfazed by any of its imperfections. You asked how he made it and when he had the time. It was nice, until you asked him why. And he got all nervous again.

Well… He responds. “You make me such nice things all the time. And I wanted to make you something as well. To show my appreciation.”

Oh! You are a little taken aback by that as a light blush starts to burn on your cheeks. You were definitely feeling the appreciation. You just never really anticipated Giyuu to make you something. Not because you thought he was incapable, or anything like that. You just… liked making things, and if that happened to be for Giyuu more than others you weren’t going to deny it. It made you happy to do so. And you never really expected anything in return. But for him to make you something, the gesture kind of made you feel special. It was so sweet!

“Of course, I’m glad you like it. You… mean a lot to me you know. Um…” He stops because he's a bit flush. He wants to confess so badly and he doesn’t understand; why is it so hard. Just say it. It's like you are waiting for him to – and you are – but you are so completely and utterly patient with him that sometimes he wished you weren’t. “Ngh, don’t look at me like that.”

You giggle softly. You can’t help it. Why is he so cute? “I’m sorry,” You say sincerely, still hugging the plush to your chest. “Please continue.”

His heart is beating out of his rib cage. He feels like he is going to die. He has never expressed his feelings so openly before and as much as he wants to say that he is uncomfortable, he's only half way there and he only needs to get the words out. He's been afraid of rejection for so long that, even deep down knowing the possibility of you loving him exists, he can’t help but worry about it. The words are on his tongue and at some point, he has to come out and say it.

“I… I love you.” Finally. “I’ve loved you for a while now. I just didn’t know how to tell you. You don’t have to say or do anything, I just… I just wanted you to know.”

“You love me?” You had a big, stupid smile on your face, which made the question you had asked seem hopeful to him. If you had been home, you might have thought he was pulling a joke on you, not that he would know to assume that. And you, yourself are having a good time telling the small voice in the back of your head to fuck off because – yes, Giyuu Tomioka just confessed his love for you and you were not going to let the universe take it back.

He nodded, silent. The smallest, timid, smile pulled at his lips as he waited for you to continue. “Giyuu, I love you too. Actually, I..” you stopped before you started tripping over your words and let out a deep breath. Your grasp on the plush tightened, clutching it closer to your body in an attempt to ground yourself. “I… may have been in love with you for a while, too.”

He stares at you for a moment, another dumb look on his face. It's like the gears are turning in his mind. That yes, just like you had, are realizing this is all actually happening. And if he promptly pulls you into the softest, brain melting kiss you've ever had – that's between the two of you.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤᘡ ۫ 𖨂 𓈒 🦑 ۟ ៹ 𓂂

Of course, now it’s later and Giyuu is watching you show off the plush to the rest of the Hashira. You had grabbed his hand in a rush, so excited and happy. He let you tug him along, squeezing his hand so tight; never minding the clamminess. He watched as you shoved the crochet piece in Rengokus face, telling him with pride that Giyuu was the one that made it for you. ‘I see that,’ he says and lets out one of those joyous laughs, almost amused.

You tug him along, going from Hashira to Hashira. Giyuu vividly remembers you shouting at Shinazugawa from across the training grounds about ‘Look at what Giyuu made me! Suck it you fuck face’ before running off and taking him with you again. He remembers in the background the Wind Pillar shouting, something about how it was ‘Ugly as fuck’ and a few other things but Giyuu ignored it.

Others recognized the effort Giyuu put into it, much like Rengoku. He gets a ‘That's kinda flashy’ from Tengen, and surprisingly Shinobu didn’t really poke at him too much, but maybe that was because you were there. Mitsuri squeals about it. She thinks it’s the cutest thing she's ever seen, and Giyuu makes sure not to look at Obanai at all. Otherwise, the man might force Giyuu to teach him. Or force himself in between you and him to teach him, and Giyuu doesn’t know if he can handle that.

The afternoon passed by after that and you both ended up back at his estate, just like always. This time, you were much closer to him than usual, not that Giyuu minded. He watched from over your shoulder as you continued your own little crochet project. He had half a mind to join you, but instead opted to enjoy just being with you; resting his head near yours and wrapping his arms around your waist. Though, somewhere close by the little turtle and the plush were laying together where you had placed them. It was almost like they were watching you, like they were proud of him.

Thank you once again for reading!! ໒꒰ྀི ˃ ∩∩ ˂ ꒱ྀིა

[stromblessed]

this tweet is absolutely one of the milder ones i've seen on my feed which just proves i need to stop looking at twitter but this example of shipping goggles leading to basic misinterpretations of arcane season 1 scenes that are quite cut and dry thematically might be the straw that breaks my back

what do you MEAN Viktor was being gentle. what do you MEAN viktor was calm. he was not. Viktor says "you... ordered this? why?" he's surprised, offended, and sounds almost betrayed at the idea that jayce would order the blockade. viktor is confused, then flabbergasted, then angry, then furious. there is a gradient between "gentle and calm" and "screaming spitting mad" and viktor is somewhere in the middle of that gradient, but just because he isn't screaming and yelling at jayce, that doesn't mean he was either gentle or calm

"what difference does that make?" is also not calm - it's showing that Jayce has not been fully mask-off prejudiced in front of Viktor before, and Viktor is so thrown that Jayce would and does take the mask off in this moment, showing that Jayce is not so different from the average prejudiced citizen of Piltover despite being Viktor's friend, that he is genuinely asking what is going through Jayce's head. Viktoris trying to make Jayce make some sense, but the words do still show confusion and distress

and then "I'm from the undercity" IS angry, now that Viktor realizes what Jayce is saying and why. he is not being gentle or calm or even all that understanding towards Jayce - Viktor is hurt and angry and he lashes out to make Jayce think twice about what he's just said, though the damage has been done because Jayce's words and actions have combined to move us and Viktor towards an understanding of who Jayce is and what he truly believes when his back is up against the wall

also i can't count how many times people have re-interpreted Viktor slapping Jayce's hand away as a cute funny thing he does, rather than an act of anger - frustrated, righteous anger

the reason reading this made me so frustrated is because it's one more step toward the broader fandom's continuing re-imagining of Viktor as a mild, sweet, often passive character

and to take it one step further in what i've observed, it helps re-imagine Viktor as someone who is versed enough in the prejudices Zaunites face on the daily to easily handle Jayce's prejudiced words and behavior. this serves not only to make Viktor sweeter, gentler, and frankly smaller than he is in canon - especially in season 1 - but also, depending on the day, may try to make Viktor more "perfect" and noncombatant, ignorant or completely separated from the concept of the Piltover/Zaun conflict, a more "ideal" activist (an aspect of his character that is implied in season 1 and then is unfortunately all but abandoned in season 2), or just more well-versed in Zaun vs. Piltover sociopolitics, which he simply is not. Viktor is both clever, and also a messier, less heroic character than all that, while still being a target of Jayce's prejudice directly but mostly, usually, indirectly. and Viktor does not perfectly understand this. he only knows and sees enough to be offended and frustrated throughout the story

there's having one's own interpretations of canon, and then there's mischaracterizing consistently and constantly, leading to the state of the fandom today where it's increasingly difficult to have nuanced conversations about characters like Viktor or Jayce. why not ship jay//vik but WITH Viktor's anger, the complications, and the messiness

or is that not an option now that the writing of season 2 glossed over any difficult social or political concepts that did exist in season 1

[inkskinned]

i'm used to it, and how bad it is, and how often it's so bad that it rings like a bell inside of me, drowning out everything around me. and the truth is that i get frustrated with myself about it - again? we're like this still? again? it's not that i feel weak, precisely. it's just this sense almost like - i've already been pushing against this thing for years now, shouldn't i have gained more ground?

i get frustrated because i'm sick of picking up the loose ends every six months. i get frustrated because it's always this same shit, same problem - i lose myself in a matter of months; spiral out of control, lose touch with friends and loved ones. i stop taking care of myself and therapy gets hard and i let everything around me wilt and shrivel and fall off; start somehow both sleeping too much and not-enough. i panic-attack and cry in my car in a target parking lot, pulling my hair out and hurting my ribs from sobbing so hard - and later, when i'm better, i'm embarrassed because how could i let it get that far?

it feels like - i already have done this so many times. isn't there a way out of it? isn't there a point where i've just... won? that it never happens again, that i just get to be done? maybe this is weakness, i guess - that i still (so often!) succumb.

i am used to it, so i forget exactly how hard it gets. do you even know how many times i've laid in bed, exhausted, blank and numb and listless and said - i can't anymore. i just can't. i'm not even really upset. it's okay. i've been here long enough. so much of my life was beautiful.... i'm just... done.

do you know how many times i woke up and i said - i can't and put my feet on the floor and said i can't, i don't want to and took a shower and walked the dog and bought myself fresh bread and put a nice playlist on and said i really can't, there's no end to this and i went to work and i called a friend and i made myself cookies even if food tasted like ashes and decided that i really should wait for the new album from that artist i love and i thought i can't, it's not worth it and then i washed my hands and cut my hair and drank more water and wrote a poem and signed up for an art class at the local community college and said i can't, i can't, i won't do this again, and i paid my rent and let the dishes rot in the sink but still made myself eat anything fresh even if it meant overdrawing my account on a stupid bag of plums just because they looked delicious and do you know how often i closed my eyes and thought this is it i really fucking can't, something has to give and i have nothing left that it can take and then i went to bed and i got up and i fucking survived anyway

yesterday the local ice cream place opened up for the first time this season and they were giving out tiny samples of their new dairy-free options and i tried a mango sorbet. three months ago i was positive that februrary was going to be my last month on the planet. i am teaching my dog a new trick and i just discovered a new band i love. i got a plant from the clearance aisle and repotted her and she's been perking up. i made salmon for alison and we ate it in her new house with her new beautiful baby girl. my manager told me he keeps recommending my work to others just because i always include a stupid number of puns. tomorrow i'm trying a new dance class. tomorrow i'm maybe going to buy more plums.

i forget, you know? it's not some bone-deep strength or some magical power. it's that some part of me knows - i need to stay. in all of this; out of all of this - i just want to choose love.

[lovelivision]

NEW JOB

pairing: gojo satoru/reader

wc: 7.1k

summary: starting a new job is always hard, especially when you're tasked with a glorified babysitting role for the most powerful sorcerer and his antics, but what happens when you somehow find yourself growing oddly attached to his weird behaviours and teasing nature

a/n; i am obsessing over this 2d man and i cannot be stopped, come near me and i'm infecting you with thoughts of him. anyways! new blog so i can write for jjk hehehhohoh (i wrote this in a single sitting because i'm mentally unwell)

warnings: 18+ only, smut, making out, dry humping, hickeys, dirty talk, fingering, cunnilingus, p in v sex, big dick gojo (duh), creampie, afab!reader, she/her pronouns used, no use of y/n, nicknames

MDNI | SMUT UNDER CUT

Why you were here, you had no clue… well you did, you just wish you didn’t have to be here but being forced to do this was putting it lightly. It’s frustrating because they act like you don’t have your own jobs to handle but now you’re being forced to be Gojo Satoru’s handler as well. This is going to be a much more taxing job than exorcising any curse, why he insisted on pissing off the higher ups is beyond you. Not that you’re completely innocent in those regards, mind you.

You’re sat waiting in Yaga’s office, waiting for a certain someone who treats showing up on time as optional. Looking at the clock behind Yaga, you see it’s bordering on 15 minutes since he was supposed to be here.

You deflate slightly with your quiet sigh, “Do I really need to be h–”

“–Yes,” is the only reply you get out of the man in front of you, eyes unreadable but based on the aura of the room, he’s beyond pissed.

Sinking further into your seat, you murmur about how annoying all of this is, it’s meant for Yaga to hear but he ignores you. Seeing Gojo is going to take years off your life, you’ve crossed paths with him many times in the past few years, he has a bad habit of interrupting your exorcisms, finishing them, and then getting on your nerves.

The door behind you slides open and shut loudly, making your heart lurch inside your chest, while you outwardly fight the urge to flinch. Gojo moves in behind you and leans down, “Didn’t scare you, did I?” There’s an annoying mirth in his tone as he carelessly rounds the seat and sits far too close to you.  

You don’t spare him a glance, “No.”

He smiles at you knowingly but says nothing more, finally addressing Yaga, “What’s up?”

“You’re late,” Yaga takes in a deep breath, fighting the urge to yell at him.

Gojo’s smile grows, his words picked carefully to piss the pair of you off more, “Well, I know that part, I meant why am I being summoned here.”

You close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose, “Why is he only being informed of this now?” You ask, irritated with not only Gojo but the whole damn system. You were told nearly two weeks ago that this was happening, how hadn’t he been told until now.

Yaga looks at you like it should be fairly obvious why they waited and you guess it is, he’s blind-sided this way, he doesn’t have a chance to wriggle out of it when today is the official first day of your new job babysitting Gojo Satoru and his first-year students. Oh, this is just perfect for you and not foreboding at all.

Before you have a chance to speak again, Yaga says, almost like he’s delighting in how inconveniencing this will be for Gojo, that, “You now have a teaching assistant, Gojo. You will be monitored as well as your students and everything will be reported back to me.”

“Ah, a glorified babysitter, how lovely,” Gojo’s smile doesn’t drop but it does look more strained.

Yaga doesn’t take kindly to his tone, “Watch it, this is fully deserved and you know it.”

“I’ve done nothing,” he defends himself.

You scoff slightly at that and Gojo side eyes you, you make an active effort to avoid his gaze though and instead focus on what Yaga is saying, “After that stunt you pulled with faking Itadori’s death recently, you’re lucky to be getting off so easy.”

Gojo jabs his thumb in your direction, “So what’s her punishment for then?”

You finally look at him, “Excuse me?”

“Well, I don’t imagine this is something one signs up for, so what did you do to piss off the higher ups,” his smile is teasing and so is his tone.

You squint at his stupid blindfold before looking back at Yaga, “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Yaga coughs at your statement but doesn’t let Gojo’s endless amusement at your suffering continue, “What may or may not have happened is none of your business Gojo–”

“–Ah, so something did happen then,” he elbows at your shoulder and you grumble at him.

Yaga completely ignores Gojo’s antics, “Your only concern is to be accommodating and keep her in the loop.”

He waves a hand easily, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say,” he brushes off the conversation with a sceptical nonchalance. His palms hit his knees as he pulls himself off the seat, “Is that all?”

Yaga pauses, watching him carefully for a moment before acquiescing, “Yes, that’s all, get out.”

“Come on, troublemaker, you have three adorable first years to meet!” his tone is too chipper and you don’t take kindly to his nickname for you but you stand from the seat and bow at Yaga before following behind him.

⸝⸝⸝

You are… uncomfortable, to say the least. The three first years sit in front of you, confused and waiting for some kind of explanation but Gojo just leans against the lectern, amused smile plastered on his face. You’re nervous, children can be so… scary, they were scary when you were their age and now you’re getting stage fright, in front of three people.

Gojo giggles behind you, granting some mercy… his version of mercy anyways, “We have a new addition to the class!”

“She’s… a student?” The one you recognise as Itadori tilts his head in question.

You can hear the glee drip from Gojo’s voice, “Well in some ways–”

“–No.” You cut him off abruptly, “I am… uhm, a teaching assistant… of sorts…”

The girl, very clearly unamused, questions further, “And what are you gonna be doing?”

You freeze up, you do know what you’re meant to be doing but you’re getting shy, you’ve never been good at being put on the spot.

Gojo finally moves from behind the lectern and places a hand on your shoulder, “She’s basically… my babysitter!” He announces, large smile on his face.

The students look… completely not shocked, like they expected something like this to happen at some point.

“I am here to help though! So, if you have questions or want someone to spar against or if Gojo is unavailable and you need help on a mission, I am here to be of service,” you smile lightly, trying to be kind. If you’re going to be here, you want to be of some use.

Itadori nods in thought, “So, are you strong?”

You feel warm in the face at the question, it’s not something you’ve ever been asked really. You think you are, you’re definitely capable but you’re nowhere near Gojo.

While deep in thought, Gojo replies for you, “Yes.” His reply is simple and leaves them all with more questions.

You throw a glance at Gojo before answering for yourself, “I am capable and willing to help.”

⸝⸝⸝

Your first introductions went better than you expected, you quite like them all, even the quiet one who’s always in a bad mood. Things would’ve gone better if Gojo didn’t delight in teasing you in front of them all, it’s embarrassing to be poked and prodded at for some kind of a reaction, you mean, isn’t he meant to be an adult for crying out loud.

It’s only been about a week and a bit into you ‘babysitting’ Gojo and you think he might be attempting to annoying you into quitting but that isn’t an option for you. The kids are sparring on the open field and Gojo is at your side, poking the side of your face with a mischievous smirk plastered on his. He’s been trying and failing to get a reaction out of you for the past 10 minutes.

“Gojo, is there something you want from me, or are you just waiting for me to try and smack you,” Turning your body, you face him completely, your hands on your hips.

He shoves his hand behind his back quickly, trying to play it off like he wasn’t just poking your cheek, “I don’t know what you mean.”

Sighing you continue, “If you’re trying to annoy me into quitting, you’re going to find that awful difficult, I have to be here.”

“Quite the contrary, I like having you here, troublemaker,” he smiles, leaning against the tree behind him.

“It doesn’t feel like it,” you grit out.

He hums lightly, “That’s just cause you’re not used to my love language.”

Raising a brow at him, you ask, “Your love language is being absurdly annoying?”

“Now you’re getting it,” he pokes you directly on your nose and you exhale sharply, twisting your lips to hide any hint of amusement. Turning back to the students you resume ignoring him, which he huffs dejectedly at, “If you’re gonna be watching over me for a while, you may as well get used to talking to me, I think I’m quite enjoyable.”

“Of course you would think that,” you retort.

“Ouch,” he grabs his chest, pretending to be wounded, he pushes off the tree and hangs an arm over both your shoulders, his weight pressing into you, “So… seriously, what did you do?” His head is turned to the side of yours, watching for your reactions.

You’re starting to feel uncomfortable at his proximity but apparently so are the others because Kugisaki turns and points at Gojo, yelling, “Don’t hang off her like that, perv!”

You stifle a laugh at her accusation, as Fushiguro rolls his eyes and grimaces.

Gojo calls out, “Why? Does it make you uncomfortable?” He wraps both his arms around you and pokes his tongue out at them all.

You’re squished against him and it’s making you hot, “Gojo, if you don’t peel yourself off of me in the next few seconds I’m going to rip out your tongue.”

“I don’t think you would be able to, is the thing though,” he snickers down at you, he does release you though, taking a step back.

You feel beyond annoyed and as much as you know your fist won’t connect, you go to throw a powerful punch at him anyways. It predictably gets stopped by his infinity, never even making it close to his face.

“Oh wow, you tried to punch me!” He exclaims in faux hurt, his hand reaches up to yours and unfurls your fist, instead interlacing your fingers, “I was wondering how long it would take for you to crack and try and hit me.”

You sigh in defeat, “Gojo, please let go of my hand.”

“Tell me what you did and I just might,” he propositions.

The kids are yelling at Gojo from the field, cursing him out for being weird, which of course, he only finds hilarious.

“Gojo,” he hums at you in acknowledgement, “Do you think if I tried really hard, and willed it to happen, that me kicking you in the balls would connect?”

He pouts at your words, apparently holding out for a different response, “Oh, how you wound me.” He drops your hand with a sigh, “Can’t be that bad, tell meeeee,” he whinges slightly, attempting a new way of annoying you, clearly.

“You’re right, it’s not that bad, but it’s way more fun not to tell you at this point,” you smile brightly at him and his eyes widen in slight shock at the display.

He continues pouting, “Cruel…”

You just shrug at him in response.

⸝⸝⸝

Every time Gojo is around, he is trying to get you to tell him why you were assigned to be his handler. You don’t tell him, you just shrug or smile like you have no idea why, you understand why he likes to tease a bit now, seeing him so upset over something so small does brighten your day just a little bit.

As much as you hate to admit it, you’ve grown fond of his company, as well as the three kids. You thought this would be more hellish, and while on some occasions it is, you quite enjoy your day to days now. Filled with his teasing tone and stupid smile, you’re feeling comfortable with them all.

Your only complaint is that, while this is what you’re expected to be doing most of the time, the fact that sorcerers are hard to come by hangs true and you are still sent on solo missions on a whim. It’s only annoying because you’re expected to come and go easily, like fighting off first-grade or high-grade curses isn’t completely taxing.

Today you enter the classroom slightly later than usual, having been absent since the middle of yesterday, you didn’t even have time to sleep, you showered and came straight here. You mumble an offhanded good morning before collapsing into a chair in the corner of the front of the class.

“Look who decided to show back up,” Gojo chirps.

“Mmm, too loud… too much… so early,” you grumble back.

Itadori asks what no one else does, “Where did you go?”

You sigh into the air, “Ah, I had a job, it’s fine though, here now,” you smile lazily.

Gojo scrutinises you from behind his blindfold, he can tell you’re tired, hell, everyone could tell you’re tired. Your head is barely staying up, almost lolling to the side, looking for somewhere to rest so you can sleep.

“Maybe you should go home,” he comments, uncharacteristically serious.

You peek an eye open at him, they had fallen closed, when did they close? “Can’t.” you mutter out, “I’m needed here, so you don’t do anything stupid.”

“You aren’t going to be able to stop me if you’re asleep,” he retorts.

“No but it won’t look as bad if I am at least here,” you cover your mouth as you yawn.

He moves over to your corner and bends down, “If I promise to behave will you go home?”

“Probably not,” you smirk up at him, “I don’t think I’d believe you.”

Kugisaki groans, “Flirt on your own time!”

You bark a laugh at that, the back and forth you have with Gojo is not how you flirt and you imagine it’s not how he does either, “Yeah, Gojo. Go away.” You say, playing into it.

His smile is light as he turns away from you, “Fine but if you complain about a backache later from sleeping in that chair it’s not my fault.”

“I’m not gonna fall asleep,” you counter.

⸝⸝⸝

You fell asleep.

You don’t know when exactly it happened, you just know it did… and that you’re embarrassed. When you startle awake in your seat, you can hear the distant noises of the students sparring and the breeze flowing through the – previously – closed windows.

“Hey, you’re up,” Gojo notices from his spot, lazing in the students desks.

You sit up a bit more, “How long–”

“–How long were you asleep?” He finishes for you, “A couple hours.”

“Why are you in here?” You ask, “Why aren’t you with the first-years?”

“The first-years are sparring with the second-years, they’re fine,” he too, sits up more, “I stayed cause I didn’t wanna leave you alone in here.”

You raise a brow at him, “That or you just didn’t wanna actually do your job today.”

“Ah, you caught me,” he laughs easily.

“Mhm, thought so,” standing up completely, you stretch out your limbs, joints aching from sleeping in the chair.

“I didn’t think you would also be doing solo missions while being here,” he comments from behind you.

“Well… you know how shorthanded we are,” you walk over to where he’s sitting, “Plus, me being here is almost as much as a punishment for me as it is for you,” you remind.

“That’s funny, I wouldn’t say I feel punished,” he says it like it means nothing, like his feelings aren’t lingering right under the surface.

Thinking on it, you agree, “I don’t much either, I’ve been having quite a bit of fun actually,” you laugh lightly.

Gojo’s world stands still for a moment, he’s been growing addicted to how you smile, the sound of your laugh. He’s lucky for the blindfold because nearly every time he looks at you he has hearts in his eyes.

Noticing his silent staring, you grow shy, rubbing the back of your neck, “Sorry for falling asleep, it won’t happen again.”

He recovers quickly, “No it won’t… because next time, you’re going to go home to sleep properly before showing back up here.”

“Whatever you say, Gojo,” you play it off, not taking him seriously.

“Call me Satoru.”

You’re a little shocked, feeling like you misheard him, you clarify, “I’m sorry, what?”

He gets up from where he’s sitting, “We’ve known each other for years now, call me Satoru.”

You don’t know if you should, it feels weird, like letting him into your life more than he already is and that’s a little much for post nap you, “Maybe…”

He chuckles, “Don’t force yourself, just know, you can if you want to…”

You nod at him, suddenly feeling incredibly bashful.

⸝⸝⸝

You’re cleaning… why are you cleaning? Because you somehow got conned into having Gojo over. Its honestly impressive of him, you have no idea how he convinced you to let him into your home. You barely can even recall the conversation, something about movies, he’s somehow got your favourite movie before the DVD or streaming release.

Anyways, now you’re scrabbling around your meagre apartment, attempting to clean it up to a high standard before you have a guest over. You have time, you have enough time to clean the main areas, yourself, your bedroom… wait, your bedroom (?). Brushing off the thought, you continue your tirade, it ends with just enough time for you to make yourself look presentable.

Knocks in the form of a carefree tune are thumped into your door and you know who it is instantly, even his knocking is distinctly him. Tugging your shirt on, you call out, “Just a sec!”

Pausing in front of the door, you smooth yourself out, like you weren’t just running around like an insane person a few minutes ago, and then you open the door. The sight of Gojo is shocking, it wasn’t what you were expecting… you’ve seen him in casual clothes before, but you think you’ve gotten too used to seeing him at the school.

You mumble out, “You look nice.”

His eyes light up behind his glasses, “Why thank you, you look nice as well.” He speaks lowly on his way past you.

You stand stunned for a little, not expecting his compliment to affect you so much. He’s already walked down the hall while you stood staring at where he once was. Closing the door, you start after him, meeting him in the lounge room.

“You ready?” He asks.

You nod your head, waiting for him to show how he accrued the movie.

“Ta da!” He shows the usb stick, presumedly holding the movie.

You sigh at his jovial display of piracy and grab the thumb drive off him. Gojo makes himself comfortable on the couch while you plug it into the tv.

“You have a cute apartment,” he hums, looking around from where he’s sitting.

Grabbing the remote, you switch through the tv’s sources and search for the content on the stick, “Thank you… I think.”

“It’s a compliment,” he affirms.

You flop down next to him on the couch, “We good to start? Or do you have more to say?”

“I always have more to say,” he grins.

“I’ve noticed,” you snark back, beginning the movie anyways.

It starts off good, the movie’s quality isn’t great but it’s good enough to enjoy the content of the film. That is… until the halfway mark and then the quality drops significantly and you can’t even tell what’s happening on screen anymore, everything fuzzy and words mumbled, almost robotic.

You suppress a smile, “Gojo… where did you get the movie?”

“…Online somewhere… I watched the first few minutes and it looked fiiine,” he’s whinging slightly, disappointed in the sudden quality drop.

You can’t help but laugh at his complete dismay, “It’s fine, Gojo, at least I got to see some of it?” You try looking on the bright side, “You’ll just have to buy me a real copy when it comes out.”

“Is that another invitation?” He teases.

You look over to him, “Another? I barely remember giving out this one.”

“That hurts, you know?” He pouts at you.

You can’t help the way your face breaks out in a smile, “It is.” He looks at you confused, “An invitation,” you finish.

His pout breaks into a large smile, “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you liked me.”

“Ah, you’re beginning to grow on me,” you torment lightly.

He nods his head solemnly, “Knew I would.”

You scoff at him, only now realising how close he’s gotten to you, your knees touching, his face so close to your own. You go to look away from him, feeling self-conscious, but his hand reaches up and pulls your face back to continue the intense eye contact.

“If I kiss you right now, will you try and punch me again?” He jokes, trying to relieve the tension.

You find a place inside you that outweighs your anxiety, “Only one way for you to find out.”

He leans in that tiny bit more and captures your lips in his, the kiss tender and gentle, he’s searching, learning. He doesn’t want to scare you away, wanting to kiss you for so long and not willing to ruin it by spooking you now. It took him so long just to work up the courage to get inside your apartment, he doesn’t want you to pull back when you’ve finally stepped towards him.

He parts first, hesitant, if he keeps kissing you, it won’t stay innocent because he really wants to kiss you until you cry.

You repress a whine at the loss of him, “Wait…” You trail off, embarrassed by how badly you want him to keep kissing you.

“Yeah?” He presses, wanting to hear you ask him for it.

“Can… you kiss me again,” you ask, before adding, “please?”

It’s too good to be true, he’s dreaming… but even if that’s the case, he’s sure as hell not wasting this moment, “Anything for you~”

Leaning back in, he kisses you with more fervour, his lips more insistent, desperate. His one hand stays on your face, angling you so he can kiss you deeper, he wants more, more. The other hand reaches for your hip, tugging and pulling at the fat there, groping your skin greedily.

Your moans and whimpers muffle into his mouth, he swallows them down, licking into your mouth, silently asking for more. Which, you give, you think you’d give him the world right now if you could. His kisses are dizzying and full. You’ve not been kissed like this… ever and it’s overwhelming you in an embarrassing way.

Pulling back, you rush out, “Wait wait…”

Gojo freaks a little, “Shit– sorry, was it too much?”

You shake your head, “No, well…maybe, I’ve just… never been kissed like that before, I was feeling dizzy.”

He breathes a sigh of relief before targeting you with a teasing smile, an evil glint in his eyes, “I’m kissing you dumb, huh?”

You feel hot, everywhere, “I–”

Your defence is cut off with this lips back on yours, he’s drunk on your kisses and he’s not going to stop. Knowing that he’s overwhelming you with them only spurs him on, he wants you to be so stupid because of his lips, he thinks he couldn’t want anything more than that right now.

Your arms wrap around his neck and pull him closer; he lets it happen and falls into you, pressing your back into the couch. On instinct, your legs wrap around his waist, tugging him down into you more, desiring the proximity. His front presses into yours and you both moan into each other.

He trails kisses from your lips to the side of your face, down to your neck, his teeth nipping lightly, sucking into your skin, leaving marks behind, not really caring about how you’ll struggle to cover them tomorrow. You gasp into him and raise your hips, grinding into him without meaning to. The friction has him groaning into the skin of your neck.

His large hand grabs at the thickest part of your thigh, grabbing and pulling your covered cunt closer to his clothed dick. His hips dig down into yours, humping into you and trying to fight off the urge to cum in his pants at the minimal amount of stimulation.

He huffs against your sensitive skin, “Bet you’re so fucking wet, fuck–”

“Gojo–”

He cuts you off, “­–Lemme… lemme touch you more, please.”

You nod at him, eyes glassy from how he kissed you, “Uh huh, do– do whatever you want~”

His hand is immediately leaving your thigh and reaching into the front of your pants, under your panties and through your dripping folds, a shiver running down his back as he groans deeply. He had a feeling you were wet but fuck– he wasn’t expecting this.

You sob a moan into the collar of his shirt where you’ve tucked your head, his fingers glide through your slick, teasing you, lightly grazing your clit.

His tone is light, “So eager~”

“Don’t t–tease, it’s unkind,” you try to chastise him.

He smiles at you, it’s dark but full, as a single finger probes at your entrance, slipping in carefully, aided fully by the amount of slick that gushes from your pussy, “So messy,” he hums, nosing the side of your face, giggling at the whimper you let out.

“Gojo–”

“–I think…” his finger slips to the hilt, pulling back before fucking back in, wet squelching sounding through your small apartment, “…I’ve earned Satoru, when I’m knuckles deep in your pretty, little cunt.”

If you thought you were hot before, you definitely were now, “Satoru, please.”

“Mmm, I like the sound of that,” his cock jerks in his pants at the sound of you finally calling him by his name.

Your small gasps and sighs are setting his skin on fire, a light flush dusting his features, he still wants more from you, he wants to hear it all, he wants to feel it all, he wants to see it all. Deciding he’s had enough of your clothes, he slips his finger from deep in your cunt, which results in the prettiest, wrecked sound coming from you.

“Just a sec, need these off…” he tugs your pants down and off, leaving you in your panties, he hums in thought at you, “…These are cute,” he points out, looking at to the lacy garment decorating your lower half, “Expecting something to happen?”

You shake your head no, not loving the accusation that you planned this, “No, I just… didn’t have anything else…”

“Convenient,” he comments, taking notice of how completely ruined they are, wet from your arousal pooling in them. He pulls the side of them away from your skin, only to let it slap back against you, enjoying the way you squirm under him, “I think I’ll leave these on.”

He continues undressing you though, tugging off your shirt, your bra following along soon after. You feel so exposed compared to his fully dressed form. His cock strains against his pants though, sitting heavy against the zipper of his jeans. The sight makes you salivate but he takes no notice.

“I gotta get my mouth on you, pretty thing,” he murmurs more to himself than you, since you’re not really thinking at this point, only squirming under him and trying to rub your thighs together.

He shuffles down between your legs, spreading them apart further and tossing them over his shoulder. Drawing your panties to the side, he presses his face into your cunt, inhaling deeply, the act makes you jump and whinge out his name, shocked by the completely debauched display.

“Satoru~”

He doesn’t reply, not with words, he mumbles into your pussy and licks a long stipe from your hole to your clit before licking back down. His tongue pushing into your cunt with the desperation of a starved man. His nose presses against your clit and he moves his head side to side slightly, stimulating it.

You moan and whimper into the air, fingers finding purchase in his hair, needing something to tug onto while he eats you out in the messiest way possible. There is no finesse, he’s sloppily making out with your cunt, drinking down all the arousal that leaks from you eagerly.

Your thighs begin shaking beside his head and he holds you tighter, his head moving back and forth quickly, shaking it, trying to force your orgasm from you. The feeling of his blunt nails digging into your soft skin and the way he groans so unrestrained into your pussy has you cumming on his face very suddenly.

Your stomach twists as your cunt clenches around Gojo’s tongue, your mind lost in how good you feel. Not registering the sound of your moans or the sounds of his mouth lapping at you in the most lewd manner, it should be embarrassing how wet you are for him but you can’t seem to care when it feels this good.

He’s unrelenting, licking and mouthing at your sensitive pussy until you start twitching away from him and pulling on his hair harshly, wordlessly tell him it’s too much.

“Perfect,” he turns his face to the side and mumbles into your thigh, nipping at the skin, delighting in the way your body jerks, “Got an absolutely perfect cunt.” He says shamelessly.

“Gojo!”

He looks up at you through his lashes, “Ah, back to Gojo now?” he leans up and back onto his knees, tugging his shirt over his head and discarding it with the rest of your clothes, “No worries, I’ll fix that real soon.”

The sound of his belt clinking and zipper undoing brings you out of your thoughts, temporarily disarmed by the sudden exposure of his skin. He doesn’t bother taking them off completely, just shirking them down enough to free his painfully erect cock.

Your gaze gets lost in the sight of his dick, leaking thick globs of precum from the tip down his shaft. His hand tugging lazily at it, spreading his own mess everywhere, slicking it up for you. Wet sounds of his hand languidly fucking his cock makes your skin prick. How he’s going to fit you aren’t sure, the size of him is daunting.

He smiles when you look back in his eyes, “There she is.” He leans down over you, “I know I have a really nice dick but let’s try and stay focused, pretty, hmm?”

It’s condescending and egotistical of him to say but you can’t fight the shiver that runs down your spine at his words, “Gojo, you have a massive–”

“–Dick? Yeah I know,” he smiles cheekily at you.

You finish your previous interrupted statement, “I was gonna say ego.”

“Two things can be true at once,” he presses a kiss to your forehead, “You ready for this?”

“I don’t think I could ever be ready for this,” you retort.

“Way to boost a guys ego,” he chuckles at your comment.

You grab the side of his face, “Not that you need it.” You murmur before pulling him down for another kiss, missing the feel of his lips on yours.

He licks into your mouth straight away; you can taste yourself on his tongue. You feel like you could float away, not knowing how you’ve gone your whole life without being kissed like this. Your thighs are back on either side of his hips again, your need to be filled growing by the second.

Pulling back, he sits up so he can watch himself enter your tight pussy. He’s not denying himself this view, not when he’s imagined it so many times before. He rubs his cock through your folds a few times, relishing in your small jumps and moans. He needs it wet; it needs to be so fucking wet if he even dreams of fucking his cock all the way inside you.

“I’m gonna need you to relax for me and remember to breathe if you wanna take it all,” he says it so seriously, and if you hadn’t seen his dick you would’ve assumed he was just stroking his own ego for the sake of it.

You nod at him, “Got it, now please,” your hips wiggle slightly, enticing him.

“I got ya,” he smirks, pushing forward slightly.

The tip of him is a lot, your cunt stretching to take it, the ache dulled by the absolute messy state of your pussy and the thumb Gojo is pressing into your clit. He intakes a sharp breath at the snug fit of your cunt, his hips jerking forward mindlessly, a groan pulled from deep in him, while you whimper pathetically.

Your breath stutters and you’re struggling, grip on his cock impossibly tight, through gritted teeth, he reminds, “Hey, hey… breathe yeah? You gotta –fuck– you gotta breathe for me, pretty.”

Collecting yourself, you attempt to take deep breaths, they come out stuttered but the punishing grip you had on him eases, “Almost had me fucking cumming, geez…” he laughs lightly at it but he would’ve been beyond embarrassed if he came with only his tip inside of you, he’d never live it down.

“You can –hah– you can move,” you stammer out.

He double checks, “You sure?”

Your eyes are so wet and your voice is wrecked when you add, “Please.”

An evil smile takes its place on his face, “Why were you assigned to work with me?”

“Gojo, not now,” your words break off into a whine, you sound so pathetic, you do not have the upper hand here.

“Mmm? You want me to stuff you full? Tell me the reason,” he leans down slightly, cock slipping just that tiny bit more into you.

Ignoring him, your wrap your legs tighter around his waist and try fucking up onto him, it works for the one second that he lets it and then one of his large hands is reaching down and slamming your hips back into the couch cushions.

“Come on, pretty,” his breath wafts against the side of your face, his lips tickling your ear, “You really gonna waste time being stubborn?”

“You’re the stubborn one,” you argue.

He hums noncommittally, almost like you proved his point for him, “Come on, I can feel you fucking pulsing around me, just tell me what you did~”

“I– I… I didn’t listen to an order on a mission and almost got myself killed,” you pout out, breathing laboured.

He tsks at you, disapproving of your actions, “You really should be more careful,” he kisses beside your ear, “And listen to your seniors more.” It goes without saying that, that includes him. You suspect he’s mostly talking about himself; he has no respect for the current hierarchy.

“Gojo, you said you would–”

He tilts his head at you, “–I did but now knowing how reckless you were, I can’t help but want to punish you a bit more…”

Your waterline fills with tears at the frustration, your pussy fluttering on the barely two inches he has sat inside you, how he’s holding out so well you have no idea because you’re about to fucking cry.

Your voice is embarrassing to even your own ears, “Satoru, please, more.”

“Ah, well when you ask like that, how can I say no?” He’s acting as if he’s taking mercy on you and not like his dick didn’t twitch violently at you using his name again.

Slowly, he pushes into you, stopping every now and again to let you adjust and reminding you to just breathe through it. Something Gojo has realised is, your cunt is so reactive to him, the words he speaks, the hand he has on your hip, the kisses he presses into the side of your head, all of it has you spasming around him and every time you do, it feels like a gut punch to him.

It’s addictive and also world shattering, he doesn’t know how long he’ll be able to last when he actually starts fucking into you. The little noises you make don’t help either, how on earth is he meant to last more than a minute inside you?

Eventually, he bottoms out, the both of you moaning at the relief, your legs nearly kick at the sensation of how deep inside you he is, “Satoru, move?”

He bites out, “Give me a second.” He’s fighting the primal urge to cum inside you right now.

You whine under him, hips twitching, using the minimal amount of space to grind your pelvis into his. Your pussy stutters around him at the stimulation on your clit and he groans loudly at it, his orgasm on the tip of his tongue.

He forces your hips down and still again, pinning you to the couch with his own, “You’re so impatient. Do you want this to be over now? You want me to cum after only being fully inside you for a minute?”

You shake your head at him, the feral look in his eyes making your stomach do flips, your pussy gushing around him.

He laughs dryly, “Fuck, I can’t do a single thing without turning you on more, huh?”

You look away from him, embarrassment reaching a new pique with that comment, “Not nice, Satoru.”

“Not a bad thing, pretty,” he noses your cheek, realising how he said it harshly without meaning it that way, “Huge compliment, knowing you react this way to me is fucking perfect but it also has me on the edge of finishing prematurely.”

Turning your head back to him, you look him in the eyes and he swears he sees heaven because you have tears trailing down your cheeks and your eyes are blown and wet and he’s gonna finish if he keeps looking at you. So, instead, he leans in and kisses you deep, getting lost in the taste and feel of your mouth.

The small reprieve helps and he begins thrusting his hips back and forth, his cock leaving and entering you with the most obscene noises he’s ever heard. It’s such a fucking mess, leaking out of you, down your thighs and onto your nice couch. And even if he really tried, he couldn’t give a fuck, not when your cunt is so slick and warm and wrapping around him like it was made for him.

The sounds you let out are cute but muffled against his mouth, he settles for swallowing them down but he’d really rather hear them loud and clear. You flutter around him so beautifully, everything you do is perfect to him and you laying here while he shoves you full of his fat cock is no different.

He pulls away from your lips to hear the noises you make for him, “Cute,” he comments offhandedly, not even sure if you hear the contents of his words. He only knows you hear his voice because your cunt clenches down on him at the sound.

You cry out to him, “S’toru~”

“Ah, you’re so fucking close aren’t you,” the smile on his face is huge and wolfish, excited to feel you cum all over him, looking forward to literally nothing else.

You try to verbalise it, “I– mm –mmph–”

“Go on, let yourself gush all over me, wanna fucking feel it, pretty,” his words are sharp against your ear.

His hips increase their pace, slamming down into you more forcefully, his pelvis grinding into your clit harshly. Your eyes cross into the back of your head, neck lolling back bonelessly, choppy, whimpered sounds leave you. Your fingers claw at his biceps, leaving behind angry marks. Gojo’s hands have a death grip on your hips, bruised marks will definitely be left behind in their wake.

A particularly sharp thrust and loud whine from Gojo has you cumming under him, your pussy gripping him tight as your cum leaks from you sloppily, his cock coated in it. Creamy ring left at the base of his cock as he continues thrusting mercilessly.

His abs pull taut, his resolve finally breaking now that he’d finally felt you finish on him, “Where you want it?”

“Inside, please Satoru,” your words are mumbled and breathy.

“Fuuuuuck.”

He’s lucky you said that because your words have him cumming on the spot, thick ropes of his cum being forced deep inside your little cunt. It leaks out around the base of him, even as he presses deep into you, his pelvis tight against yours, riding out his high by grinding into you slightly. The stimulation making your cunt jump around him as he hisses at the slight overstimulation he’s forcing himself into.

You both huff, gasping greedily for air after your intense highs, the room filled with nothing but silence and your haste breaths. Eventually, you both even out and lay there quietly, Gojo pressed against you with his cock still snug inside your pussy.

“Gojo, you’re heavy,” you tell him.

He laughs, “Right, sorry.”

Leaning back, he slowly pulls his dick from you, both hissing at it. His eyes are fixated on the way his cum slips from your hole, his heart hammering in his chest at the sight, obsessing over how hot it is that you took so much of him. He slips your panties back into place, letting them keep his cum inside you.

“You did so good,” he praises you suddenly.

It makes you feel bashful, “So did you…” you mumble out.

A loud laugh results from him, “Thank you,” he says, his eyes crinkled in a large smile.

Gojo cleans the pair of you up, tucking you carefully into your bed and holding you close as you fight to keep your eyes open, “Will you still be here when I wake up?”

“Do you want me to be?” He questions lightly, trying not to expect anything from you.

“…Yes, I’d like it a lot if you stayed, I think.” You admit shyly.

“Then I’ll be here,” he presses himself into you closer, enjoying the warmth radiating off of you.

You don’t think this was in your job description…

PLAGIARISM NOT CONDONED | REPOSTS NOT AUTHORISED

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

PICK THE LATTER

KINKTOBER DAY 22 - OVERSTIMULATION WITH TOM

Pairing.| Tom x fem!reader

Summary.| You're given an ultimatum after Tom accuses you of cheating, be fucked endlessly or be left on the edge. You should have picked the latter.

Warnings.| Dubcon, p in v, rough sex, overstimulation, drug use, infidelity.

Word count.| .6k

Notes.| I’ve realised this is quite similar to my Emmett one lmao

“Tommy- I… I can’t do this anymore” you gasped out, your sloppy walls were twitching around Tom’s size like a malfunctioning machine. 

“Shut up” Tom grunted, his Irish accent thick. 

Still somehow he was ramming into you at a high speed. This must be a nightmare, because the physicality to his movements seemed impossible. His cock moved around like clockwork inbetween your slippery, tight walls. Dark hair completely slicked back from the excessive sweat. Tom’s eyes were wide with desire, jealousy, anger and – well, cocaine. The look of fear and pain in your eyes made him soften momentarily. A congested sniff erupted as he egged his head in frustration, he needed to stay focused, if only could have another line. But allowing you and your dirty little cunt to have a break demanded otherwise. 

“Did Peter fuck you this good?” Tom taunted as he pushed his tip in as far as physically possible. 

You screamed out, your throat felt like a match was lit up inside by the harshful reaction. Legs trembled like a tree in the wind. After weakly attempting to shove him away with your palms, you quickly gave up and slumped back onto the couch. 

“Tom, I swear!” you protested through a long whine. 

“Shut up!” Tom repeated himself as he forcefully fucked you again. 

You did not fuck Peter. However, if Tom hadn’t stumbled upon your constant back and forth messages of poems to one another, he wouldn’t have been able to swipe you off of that pathway. Being around Peter just felt so romantic, almost fairytale like. Yes, Tom gave you everything you needed, but the thrill of his cocaine addiction had quickly soured into a burden. Dating an older guy was clearly highly romanticized. It was almost like being a mother half of the time, for men in finance are highly immature. 

Not to mention, Tom wasn’t as faithful as he had expressed himself to be. Because it wasn’t him, it was the drugs. It was only ever blowjobs anyways. This was most worse on your behalf however. Because this wasn’t lust, this was love. Tom was not prepared to lose you, ever. It shouldn’t be that difficult to show you who you belong to, who’s cock you crave to jump onto every single night. You needed him more than you could ever know. 

So after a calmful confrontation, he offered you two options. Be fucked senselessly or be left on the edge of your orgasm. You physically snorted at him, your expression full of pride and confidence. 

It was Tom… The guy who had passed out during sex before he was that fucking high. Most of the time, you fucked him. He clearly was off his head yet again. So you arrogantly picked the first option. 

“Please Tom! It hurts so badly!” You cried. 

“Good, maybe you can understand how badly you hurt me” Tom spat, his lips an inch away from yours. 

Desperately you wanted to kiss him, to prove to the both of you that you loved him, were devoted to him. But his impulsive mind was convinced that he needed to treat you as what you were, a hole for his pleasure. So he had not kissed you once, and it was driving you insane. 

You couldn’t have made a poorer decision in your life. Every scream of pleasure was coated in a paint of pain and discomfort. After you lost count of how many times he made you finish, your stimulation now felt like a series of pins and needles in your nerves, his dark eyes reading your every thought, feeling and emotion. 

Quickly after you made your choice, you realized that you should have picked the latter.