#but it's a slightly different flavor of fucked up

[ottpopfic]

Like sometimes, when they are really relaxed and melted into each other and Leo is falling asleep, his powers will catch awareness on the little bits of iron in Jason’s bloodstream. When that happens he likes to lay out across Jason’s chest and feel it move in him. Press his cheek into Jason’s heart beat and let his lifeblood wash through his senses, it can be almost trance like if Leo lets go it too deep, just smoothing his hands over his man’s skin

Or when he feels his gaze do that thing, where his gift is still ever so slightly convinced that Leo made the man under him and is trying to check on him like he would a machine. Just a quick diagnosis under eyes and hands; is everything aligned, all oils topped off, any wear on the joints, everything as it should be. But technically speaking, Leo did not make Jason’s current corporal forum, he dragged this one out of the underworld with his bare hands, so there is nothing for his powers to connect to.

He's not sure what he sees in his man when he does this, the only clean thing he can pick out is an exuberant ‘here here here!’ of aliveness.

Jason better be glad he doesn't have control over that one, if he did he would be doing it all the time

Leo also gets that it's wolf shit, or at least he works hard to try to. A deep cultural instinct that Jason has felt to need to suppress from his time in the Legion. Leo is elated that his man is comfortable enough to be weird on him, to neglect the performance and just be. He knows its hard for him, to be vulnerable like this to ask for what he wants, but Leo is ever so ready to soak up every part of Jason

Leo can tell this side of his man has been beaten out of him, he recognizes the reactions from his own time in the foster system. It's dangerous to function outside of the status quo, it’s assimilate or be violently ostracized. If it was bad for Leo in an home setting it could only be worse in the military

His moms and the Way Station family have worked with Leo for years for him to feel more solid in his standing, to be able to relax and exist without self-imposed constraints. Nearly all demigods are some flavor of neurodivergent, and getting to live with older people who stim and self-accommodate has done wonders in his own healing

Jason has had more trouble with it, that perfect mask practly glued on after so many years. Having his memory fucked with only made it worse, at least that's what he gleaned from Piper and Calypso who were actually with Jason during Leo’s dead spells. Jason haddent settled like Leo did in that time, bouncing from camp to safe house to temple in his own attempt to find Leo. His search had brought so many other pockets of demigods together, had started the network they have today, but Jason had held his true self tight to his chest the whole time

It wasn't until they were alive together, sharing a room as they would panic with a door between them at night, that Jason had started to lower his guard. It had began with just talking, nightmares and anxiety keeping them awake at odd hours, and they were both so eager to reconnect after three years of separation. They were different people from what the other remembered, it made Leo obsessed with finding out everything he missed about the man sleeping across the room from him

An the new person that Jason had become, it just made Leo fall in love with him more