#but it’ll be alright considering we’re all socially anxious together

[anne20055]

i had the ability to see WAD back in 2022, but i didn’t cause i didn’t have anyone to go with and i didn’t want to go alone

(come to find out a year later that there was a person who would’ve been open to it which pissed me off but whatever)

but i don’t care anymore; if they end up doing another tour (and they come to portland again) you better believe i’ll be first in line, being absolutely terrified at the prospect of two complete strangers sitting next to me 😌

[fernpost]

looking forwards

[link to ao3]

Angus McDonald, boy detective. Greatest detective, if you asked him. And if you asked most of his clients.

He could solve any case, any mystery or murder or missing persons case. He’s always able to find the truth.

He just struggles sometimes, when it comes to himself.

His own emotions are swirling masses of weird bubbly feelings . He does not like how hard it is to decipher his own feelings.

Deciphering people's feelings about him is often just as hard. He knows social cues. He’s studied them thoroughly, and knows why people say what when he’s asking them certain questions and what they’re hiding when they ask him to leave.

Working a case is easy.

He’s solved plenty of murders before. Those are easy. Child’s play! And Angus is not a child anymore. He’s twelve whole years old, and had the first birthday party he’s ever really enjoyed to celebrate with all his friends.

Sure, most of them were adults, but he’s always gotten along really well with adults.

And they’re his family, so it’s fine-

Well. They’re not really his family. He’s not blood related to them. He’s not sure he has any immediate family now that his grandpa is gone. He’s never asked Taako or Magnus or Merle of Kravitz or Killian or- or any of them if they consider him family.

They’re his friends. That’s fine. He’s perfectly content with that (he thinks. Again, his own emotions are confusing).

But that’s okay. Because he’s going to school soon. It’s kind of far away from where most of them live, though. Far from the home Taako, Lup, Barry, and Kravitz have been sharing. Where Angus has been staying.

Very far from where Magnus has been setting up his school. And a whole day's ride away from Killian and Carey’s home.

The school is three hours away from Angus’s ho- from Taako’s house, where Angus is staying.

He hasn't- he hasn’t told Taako he’s going to school yet. He doesn’t know how to tell him he’s going to need to move out because obviously he would never ask Taako to uproot his whole life- all of them to uproot their lives just for Angus to be able to attend school. Not when they finally got settled down.

He really doesn’t even need school, but when his parents passed away and he went to live with his grandpa he dropped out. And if he wants to go on to college (if Lucas is serious about the potential teaching job) he needs to at least graduate high school. He was almost done too, but his grandpa didn’t have a lot of money like his parents did, so he started solving more and more cases to help out.

His parents didn’t give his grandpa any of their money because they didn’t expect him to be around when they passed on- not that they were bad people! He doesn’t mean to make them sound bad. They weren’t bad. They weren’t the best, he guesses. They’re not as fun as Taako, or as warm as Lup, and didn’t give as many hugs and Magnus, and didn’t talk to him about science like Barry, or-

But they were nice. They just weren’t really into parenting. They still left their small fortune to him, he’s just not old enough for it.

He’s thinking of petitioning the banks and saying he’s perfectly independent to get the money so he can move out easier.

He wonders if Kravitz would help, because he’s really good at that type of stuff, and the bank workers would be much more likely to listen to an adult than him.

Being young had its perks when solving cases, but it sucked for his day-to-day life.

It also sucked when his stomach churned for no reason that he could deduce. He’s just sitting in the kitchen, watching Lup cook in her still-slightly-fresh body as she sings a funny folktale song (Barry is sitting next to him, and he���d leaned over when she’s started singing to tell him how she learned this song early on in a world that had no writing system, and the song was about a man who could never remember where he left his pants. Angus didn’t really get it, but Barry kept laughing and smiling like it was the funniest thing in the world. Angus was pretty sure Barry would laugh at anything Lup did as a joke, though. He didn’t need to be a great detective for that).

But despite how good the food smells, his stomach hurts really bad. He’s barely eaten today, so it can't be food poisoning. Not that he’s had that since moving in- the Taaco’s are wonderful cooks and he trusts anything they feed him implicitly.

He tunes out Lup as he thinks.

The stomach pains are probably anxiety. Kravitz was telling him how he used to get them all the time, so it’s possible it’s just that.

But he shouldn’t be anxious . He’s a big kid- he’s just waiting for Taako to get home so he can tell him he’s moving out.

He has already looked for an apartment. Once Lucas' Academy of Arcane Sciences is fully up and running, he should have a highschool diploma and will be able to move on campus to work on his own degree. And be a student teacher while he works on it. It’s very exciting! If he should be feeling any physical effects from his emotions, it should be excitement, not this. This gross conglomerate of mushy feelings he can’t piece together.

He hates this.

Lup is holding a spoon to him, and Angus snaps back to the present to hear her softly ask, “you okay, little dude?” He doesn’t like the look of concern on her face- she’s been through too much to have to worry herself with him (he can’t get the century out of his head, these people are so amazing and they just let him hang around them. He doesn’t know what he’s doing right and he’s scared he’s going to stop doing that and they’re not going to like him anymore).

“I’m fine, Miss Lup! Thank you for asking.” He folds his hands tighter in his lap as he smiles. Whatever is on the spoon smells great, but he’s not sure his stomach is up for it yet.

Lup continues to stare at him for another second before pushing the spoon a little closer, “if you say so. Now, tell me, how’s it taste?”

Angus shakes his head and pulls back, “my stomach isn’t feeling too good right now, I don’t want to infect the rest of the food if it’s contagious.”

A hand appears on his head and he jumps a little, still not used to the casual touch-language of the household, and Barry’s nasally voice joins the conversation. “You don’t feel hot. Want us to call Merle over and give you a check up?”

The spoon is back, “it’s a good soup, Ango. It shouldn’t upset your stomach, and I can just get a new spoon. Barry can call Merle while you give me pointers.”

“You don’t need to, it’s fine really.” He waves his hands at Barry before turning to Lup. “And I’m not sure what help I can be with the cooking, I haven’t improved much these past few months even with Taako walking me through those other recipes.”

Lup snorts, “you’re improving much faster than Barry ever did. And I haven’t been helping Kravitz much with it, but he’s worse than anyone I’ve ever met at cooking. You’re doing just fine.”

Angus straightens up, discomfort momentarily disregarded, “Mr. Kravitz hasn’t needed to eat or cook in a long time, so he’s forgotten a lot of the basics so it’s not fair to judge me against him.”

“Sure, sure.” Lup waves her free hand in the air, the other still holding the spoon. “Still, this spoon is staying in the air until you taste it.” She glances at Barry, “and don’t worry about bothering Merle, he’ll never admit it but he likes the excuse to come over. Barry will pick him up; gives him more practice on perfecting the portal spell.”

Angus frowns, but reaches out to take the spoon anyways, “you really don’t need to call him. I’m sure it’ll pass by tomorrow.”

A hand is now on his shoulder, and Angus glances over to make eye contact with Barry, who speaks. “I won’t call him tonight, but if you still feel bad tomorrow we’ll tell him, okay?”

“Okay.” He’s not going to tell him if his stomach still hurts tomorrow, because it shouldn’t. Because he’s going to tell Taako right when he gets home and there will be nothing making him anxious or sad or excited or whatever that will make his stomach hurt. Because he’s going to do it.

He punctuates the thought by sticking the spoon in his mouth. Lup has turned back around, a fresh spoon stirring the pot, so she doesn’t see Angus’s eyes widen, but she turns back to face him with a smile when he gasps.

“This is really good, Miss Lup! Thank you.”

“Anything missing from it?” She crosses her arms, a new spoon dangling from her fingers as she twirls it around. It feels like a test, and the stomach ache is back.

Maybe it is from anxiety, because he used to get them before really hard tests. But why is he anxious? Taako is most likely going to take the news well, because Angus will finally be out of his hair.

(But maybe he doesn’t want that. Maybe Taako being okay with him moving out would hurt. Maybe the thought of Taako not just being okay, but being excited at the thought of him moving out is making him sick with worry and sadness and-)

“I’m not sure what else. It tastes perfect as-is.” He can’t think about cooking anymore. “I’m going to read on the couch, if that’s alright.”

The twirling of the spoon pauses, before she gives him a smile he knows is a bit forced, “okay, but when Taako comes home complaining that something is missing from the soup we’re blaming Barry.”

“Hey!”

Angus slides from the stool, moving to the sink and placing the spoon in there before heading to the couch. The living room is open to the kitchen and dining room, and he can hear Lup puttering around in there as she and Barry speak quietly to each other.

He’s unsure if they’re talking about him, or just being polite because he said he was reading, but his stomach twists again anyways. He picks up his book from where he set it on the coffee table this morning, and tries to read- he really does.

But he can’t focus.

The words blur together as he stares down at them blankly. He’s so zoned-out he misses the sound of the door opening, and the ensuing whispering in the kitchen.

It’s only when a hand is on his shoulder does he notice someone else is in the room, and he almost jumps out of his skin. Turning his head quickly, he catches sight of the gaudy sequin coat Taako had bought a few months ago. He’s paired it with a pair of jeans with tassels, and Angus doesn’t know much about fashion, but he’s fairly sure that’s not a normal outfit combination.

“Lup said your stomach hurt? Did you eat the so-called muffins Barry made yesterday? Because I told him those were toxic for human consumption. Probably dwarven consumption as well.”

Angus shakes his head, eyes following Taako as he slips his coat off and throws it on the armchair. He’d taken one look at those burnt muffins and slid them behind the milk, hiding them to prevent anyone from eating them. The elf walks around the couch and sits on the opposite side as him, tucking his knees under him as he stares at him with those eyes that are far more observant than most people think.

“Uh-huh. I’m throwing them out anyway. Don’t want to risk it.”

Angus nods, fiddling with the pages of his book. He runs a finger down the edge, finding a temporary calm in the weird texture of the uneven edges. He’s wearing a crease into the sides, he knows, but that’s fine. His grandpa liked to talk about the beauty of a well-loved book.

He’d spent all night planning on what he was going to stay. He wants to make sure Taako knows he isn’t throwing his kindness back in his face, and that he is going to be able to do this mostly on his own. He doesn’t have many belongings, so the move itself would be pretty easy. There won’t be much for Taako to worry about. Angus has always been very self-reliant. He isn’t a pushover, and is fine taking care of himself. While living here has been nice, he’s fine going back to living like that.

A foot knocking against his knee gets his attention, and he glances over to Taako. The elf’s face is pinched, ears flicking back and forth.

It’s a weird expression to see directed at him. Taako speaks, “you with me, Agnes?”

He nods, eyes flitting away. The nickname is an endearment, something he figured out soon after he started living on the moonbase. Their story being projected into his mind only reinforced that knowledge; seeing how Taako interacted with the others (and how the others teased everyone as well) proves that Taako being mean normally shows he cares.

He states instead at the fireplace; it’s still kinda dirty because no one has wanted to clean it out from when Lup caused it to flare up during a particularly intense board game night (they banned board games when the fire was going after that, at least while Lup was in her lich form. Far too much magical energy waiting to be released).

“Angus. You sure you’re feeling okay?”

He doesn’t mean to flinch, but seeing a hand come towards his face after already being stressed all day caused him to react unfavorably.

The hand yanks itself away, and Angus forces himself to look over at Taako, apology already leaving. “Sorry, sir. I just didn’t expect it- I’m fine, really.” He almost says ‘I promise,’ but stops himself. He doesn’t like lying, and it wouldn’t have been a lie but it wouldn’t have been the full truth.

Taako doesn't seem to believe him anyways, as he squints at him. “You’re a terrible liar.”

Angus starts, “I’m not sick!”

“I know you’re not sick, but you’re acting all weird.” He wiggles his fingers, and it almost makes Angus laugh.

He takes a deep, steadying breath. It only makes his stomach clench even more. His face gets hot, and suddenly his throat is tight and he can’t- he can’t do it- he doesn’t want-

“I need to move out.” The words leave him at once, just barely slow enough to be comprehensible.

The soft conversation in the kitchen stops at once, though neither of them walk over to the couch. Taako is staring at him, face blank.

He finds himself beginning to ramble. He hates it, he’s normally more composed, but working a case is much, much easier than navigating people he cares about. “Mr. Miller offered me a position at his school once I graduate, and the school is on the other side of town. I can’t make the commute each day, it’s too far and the walk would be too much. So, I found a small place that’s cheap, and once I get access to my parents money they left me I’ll be fine on that front. And-”

“Miller? Lucas Miller?” Taako cuts him off. He hasn’t done that in a long while, and it shuts Angus up immediately.

“Yes? He’s opening his school, the Academy of Arcane Sciences.”

“And he wants you to teach there?”

Angus' face flushes, and he gets hot with indignation. “I’m very smart, sir. I am very qualified to teach, and it’s not a stretch that he would seek me out and-”

Taako puts his hands up. “Not what I was implying. You’re just young.” He glares off to the side, before pulling his crystal out. “Thought Miller was above hiring a child.”

“I’m not a kid.”

“How old are you, then?” Taako glances back over at him, eyebrows raised in that annoying way he gets when he thinks he’s made an excellent point. He’s typing without looking down, and Angus wants to know what he’s doing.

“I- that’s not what I meant.”

Taako leans back on the couch, looking back at his crystal. “You should be focused on being a kid, not teaching nerds at Lucas’s subpar school.”

The indignation that started when Taako brushed off what he’s been worrying about has been building and building. He clenches his hands into fists, letting the book drop to the floor as he stands and yells, “stop trying to make me have the childhood you wanted!”

He regrets it immediately, but can’t bring himself to look at Taako. The room is so, so quiet. It’s almost worse than if they yelled at him. He runs past the couch, dodging the hand that reaches out as he passes by Taako. He slips into the room he’s been staying in, closing the door and locking it behind him. He sits on the floor, back resting against his bed, and shoves his face into his knees, pulling them tightly into himself.

At least he made it easy, right? He’ll wait for Taako to cool down, finish packing his things, and leave.

He doesn’t even know why he said that. He knows Taako was just being nice, even if he phrased it poorly. He just wants him to be a kid because he knows what it’s like to not have a childhood. Angus had no reason to say that. He didn’t mean it.

The hot press of tears builds in his eyes and he forces them down. He has no right to cry when he was the one in the wrong.

Knowing Taako, Lup, and Barry are in there, talking about him, is almost as bad as the guilt. Not knowing what they’re saying is disquieting.

It doesn’t take long for a soft knocking on his door to fill the room. He says nothing, but looks up at it. He stares at the handle, checking it’s still locked.

“Angus, it’s Lup. Can I come in?”

He considers not answering. They’ve been good about not barging in before, when he makes it clear he wants to be alone. He doesn’t want to be alone, though. He’s just not sure he wants to have this conversation.

“Yeah.” He stands, unlocking the door and holding the handle. Breathes. Opens the door.

Ears tilted down low, Lup stands there with hands in a neutral position at her side. Gods, she’s being so aware of her movements right now so she doesn’t startle him. He turns, walks over to his desk, and stands by it. He’s now very aware of his backpack and small suitcase against the wall, half-packed. Not enough to be obvious, but enough so that when he told them he was moving he could do so quickly.

Lup is staring at it. She hesitates, then goes to sit on his bed. She doesn’t shut the door all the way, leaving it just barely cracked.

He hates being treated like this.

“We’re not mad.” She begins, and Angus can’t bring himself to look at her as she talks, staring instead at his bags. “Taako isn’t mad either. We’re just confused as to why you want to move out.”

Angus furrows his brow, glancing over to Lup for a second before retraining his eyes on his bags, “I told T- I said that it was too far for me to walk there each day.”

“Me and Barry have basically mastered rifts, we could bring you there and back you know. So could Kravitz.”

“I already thought about asking you to, but you’re called to go help the Raven Queen randomly, and I wouldn’t want to be stuck on campus.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, “I didn’t phrase it very well out there.” He forces himself to make eye contact, “I am very grateful for everything you all have provided me, and I’m not leaving because I’m unhappy or anything. I just know I’ll be fine on my own, and I really want to go to school.”

Lup purses her mouth, “I’m not going to argue that you aren’t responsible or that you couldn’t live on your own. But you are young, there’s no reason you should be teaching at this age.”

“I’m not though! I’m finishing high school, and then student teaching until I graduate from his school. I’ll just be helping the professors until I have the proper qualifications.” He clenches his hands, trying to keep himself calm. He doesn’t like when people don’t understand what he’s saying.

She takes in what he says, keeping her gaze steady. “Okay. That’s better. But, you still shouldn’t be living on your own, little dude.”

“I used to-”

She holds her hand up, “come on, this is a group conversation. The other two people living here should be here for this.” Angus casts an anxious glance at the door when she says that. She continues on, “before we go out there, though, we do need to talk about what you said.”

Panic fizzles through him again. “I know! I didn’t mean it, and I’m really, really sorry. I just got frustrated because he was patronizing me and I don’t like being treated like that. I’m very smart and capable- I’ve done- I’m just-” He feels his emotions begin to well up again, and it only makes him more upset. He knows he’s more mature than this. He’s caught numerous serial killers, solved murder cases, and helped so many people. He can keep up with serious adult conversations, as well as banter with everyone easily. He’s good at words. He hates getting sensitive like this.

“Hey, hey. Angus, it’s okay. Breathe.” She steps towards him, moving slowly to not startle him and he hates how he’s already shown that she needs to do that. “Taako was being rude when you spoke to him, no one is denying that. But what you said at the end was also pretty rude. And we understand needing to take a minute to ourselves, but we have to make sure we have hard conversations. You’re telling us you don’t want us to treat you like a child, and we are not going to baby you. But you are still very young, especially compared to us.” She closes the gap to him and rests a hand on his shoulder, kneeling down. “Being mature means hard conversations. Being nice means having harder conversations. All we want from you, Angus, is for you to be honest with us and listen to us when we want to be honest with you.” She removes her hand from his shoulder and spreads her arms wide, offering a hug.

If he says no, she won’t make a fuss. He knows this.

He crashes into her, smushing her face into her shoulder. Her arms tighten around him as she runs her hand through his hair. “Here’s the plan. We go out there, Taako apologizes to you for being an asshole, you apologize for snapping, and then we all talk about you moving out, okay?”

Pulling his head away from her shoulder, he nods. He knows if he tried to speak, he would devolve into tears. She smiles and pulls him back into the hug.

They stay there for another moment, before Angus pulls away. Lup stands and gestures for him to lead the way.

His stomach clenches again, but some it’s not as intense as it was a few minutes ago.

They walk down the short hallway, and find Taako and Barry sitting on the couch. Both are staring at them as they enter the room, and Angus finds his hands twisting into the hem of his shirt.

“I shouldn’t have said that, sir. I’m sorry.” Angus says it fast. He hopes it doesn’t sound dishonest, the way it tumbled out of his mouth, but he knows if he slowed down the tears would fall too and he doesn’t want that.

Taako moves to stand, but Angus watches as Barry’s hold on his hand keeps him on the couch. Taako, instead smiles. “It’s okay, Ango. I was being an ass first. Should have listened to you all the way instead of cutting you off. Taako’s better than that.”

Lup brushes past Angus, moving to sit on the armchair next to the couch. Angus stays where he is. “I am still moving, though.”

No one speaks for a moment, but all three of them look at each other. After a moment of silent conversation, the type born from living together for a long, long time, Taako speaks up. “Okay. We’ve been talking about getting a bigger house anyways. This one is too close to the city and when the others visit it’s far too crowded. We need more extra bedrooms.”

Angus blinks. Then blinks again. “What?”

Lup sighs. “That’s one way to bring it up. We’ve already been talking about it- there’s a chunk of land just outside of the east end of the city. It’s not far from the school we assume is the one you plan on attending. Magnus has already said he’ll help us fix up the house there.”

He is still wildly confused.

Barry gathers that, and he sighs, “we will all move. So you can be closer to your school.”

He starts shaking his head, “no, you guys just settled down, you don’t need to do that.”

“Do you really think you could make us do anything we don’t want to do?” Taako asks as he begins to walk over to Angus. He mimics the position Lup took earlier, squatting in front of him. “If you really don’t want to live with us, fine. But we had already been talking about getting a bigger place. This isn’t a sudden decision- if Krav wasn’t on some mission he could tell you the same thing. The house we were looking at was empty before the Hunger arrived, and it got fucked up even more during the fight, so the land there is cheap. So if you want to stay with us- and I’m not asking what you think we want, I’m asking what you want- then one of the rooms will be yours.”

The tears he’s been working so hard to hold back begin to fall, so he just nods quickly. He lets Taako pull him into a hug, “I’d- I like living with you. Are you- you sure?”

“When has Taako ever lied?”

Angus just laughs, and does so even harder when he hears a pillow thwack against the back of Taako’s head (it’s a common occurrence in this house).

He feels someone approach on the side, and their hug is yanked to the side, both of them stumbling as Lup pulls them towards her, and he glances up to see Barry hovers right beside them. Taako must see him too, “Come on, Barold. Looks like it’s hug time.”

It’s awkward, and not at all very comfortable, but it’s warm. Angus’s tears have dried up, and he’s about to pull away when the familiar zip of a portal being created precedes Kravitz’s voice.

“Oh, am I interrupting?”

Taako laughs, “just missing out on a group hug.”

“Come on,” Lup speaks up now, her voice coming from just behind Angus’s ear, “it’s a family hug.”

Angus barely has time to process that when Kravitz steps forward. He’s almost as awkward as Barry, but it’s nice.

They separate eventually, Lup heads back to the kitchen to finish the food, with Barry close behind. Kravitz gives Taako a hello kiss, the two of them sitting on the couch, and from their low tones Angus can tell Taako is giving him a quick rundown of… today.

Angus see’s his book was placed on the coffee table at some point, and sits on the armchair once he grabs it, pushing Taako's discarded jacket to the side. Opening it to where he left off, the page is bent with a large crease down the center, from when he dropped it on the floor. He reads for a minute, before Taako speaks up.

“Mending should get rid of that crease, if you like.” Taako says.

Angus just smiles and shakes his head. “It just proves it’s used.”

He shrugs, looking down at his crystal, and Kravitz nudges him. It causes Taako to huff and hold out the crystal. A flyer for a recreational soccer team is displayed.

Join the new Neverwinter recreational soccer league! Ages 10-14. Help your kids make new memories and friends- Create everlasting bonds!

Angus frowns, “what’s this?”

“Soccer team. Was looking for one in the area when we started looking for potential houses to move to. Planned on signing you up.”

Tears begin to well up in his eyes again, and Angus finds himself frustrated. Not with Taako, no, of course not. Not now, not with this. But with himself, and how emotional he’s being.

Because he’s been talking about Caleb Cleveland books at Taako for so long now, and he’d always assumed he’d only been tolerating it. But Caleb Cleveland was a part of a soccer team- it wasn’t even a big part of the books. Angus has probably only mentioned it once or twice. And yet, Taako specifically looked for a soccer team and-

“Thank you, Taako!” He grins, and the way Taako’s ears are flickering, he knows he’s embarrassed.

“Just thought you could use the exercise. You know, you can’t be running around solving crimes if you can’t run.”

The smile doesn’t leave his face as he snarks back, “but sir, you never do physical training and you saved the world.”

“I just transmute my legs to be strong and fast if I need it. Or get Magnus to carry me.”

He leans further onto Kravitz, who smiles. “Or he just calls me to pick him up.”

“Exactly!”

Snuggling back into his chair, Angus holds the book close to his chest, “thank you, really, sir.”

“Come on, little dude. We’ve been over this. The ‘sir’ thing is so formal.”

“Would you prefer me to call you ‘sappy bitch’?” He turns up his fake innocent charm, the one he uses often on cases, as he says it.

Kravitz bursts out laughing, and he can hear Barry and Lup in the kitchen do the same.

Taako flares up, pointing an accusing finger at him, “who taught you that kind of fucking language!”

“I’ve always known curse words!”

“Not in my house!” Taako stands, and Angus climbs out of the chair and starts running. He knows what will happen if Taako catches him, so he runs to Barry, calling out for help.

Barry, the traitor, only holds him still so Taako can grab him and ruffle his hair. He begins yelling at Barry, cursing his name, but it’s hard to get the words out through his laughter.

Kravitz is the one who saves him, pulling him out of their arms and holding him high in the air. “Do not assault the child, please.”

Taako steps towards Kravitz, “you heard what he called me, didn’t you?”

“And he was right.”

Taako’s affronted gasp is so loud, it must scratch at his throat as he begins coughing.

Angus is giggling, kicking his dangling feet lightly in the air.

Whatever Lup is pulling off the stove smells delicious, and he cannot wait to begin eating.

As they sit down, Taako looks over at him and says, "you know, you should be careful about accepting a teaching job at Lucas's lame school. Taako here is working on a much cooler idea, and he could use a smart kid like you, if you can pass the rigorous application process."

"What is it?" Angus asks, getting excited. He hasn't heard Taako talking about anything like this.

"Top secret."

Angus laughs, "it won't be for long!"

"You're pre-emptively fired, then."

"Wait-"

[madiletio]

Snow Kissed

The 'chaos', otherwise known as their families meddling, had started in the late fall after Lance was given the all-clear from Samuel. It had seemed relatively easy initially- Go out, pick out a ring, light some candles and get on one knee to ask her the big question that would change their relationship- hopefully for the better.

Except there was one flaw in his plan and even now, ten miles away from his family home with Katie sitting right next to him, he wasn't sure how exactly he was going to ask. To make matters worse, he made the mistake of telling Veronica about the ring who then relayed that information back to his mother and before he even had a chance to speak, almost the entire Serrano clan was in on his secret.

Of course, he knew that they meant well and he was glad that they were excited, but it still didn't stop the weekly "Have you proposed yet?" question from being asked. And as much as he adored his family, part of him was worried about what they would do the moment they stepped foot out of the car.

"Ance-"

He snapped out of his thoughts once he heard Katie speak to him. "Hm?"

"You okay?" She asked softly, concern adamant in her tone."We missed the turnoff like five minutes ago?"

"Oh shit-" he muttered before doing a U-turn in the middle of a back road.

He felt his cheeks burn from the embarrassment and any mindless thoughts had long since been thrown out the window. Once they were back on track, Katie asked him again. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah!” his voice gave a little crack and he quickly tried to cover it with a cough. “I was just thinking about how good it’ll be to see my mom again. I promise I’m alright.”

Katie raised a skeptical brow at that but thankfully to his relief, she didn't push the issue further. The rest of the car ride settled back into a comfortable silence and by the time they reached the turnoff for his road, his strangeness had seemed forgotten.

Rows of snow-covered rose bushes lined the driveway and he couldn't help but smile once the faint blue of his childhood home came into sight.

"I hope your family doesn't mind me intruding on your holiday.." Katie mumbled.

That  took him by surprise, truth be told he didn't even think Katie would think that she was imposing.

"What?" he asked. "You aren't intruding. In fact, they're probably going to be buzzing around you."

Katie gave a slight hum but didn't say anything else. He knew that sometimes she'd get a bit anxious, especially when it involved socializing. So instead of trying to say anything, he reached over and took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles

"They love you. Trust me."

-

The moment they had parked the car, Sylvio and Nadia came barreling out of the house, closely followed by Veronica and his mother.

"Lance!" His mother exclaimed and wrapped him up in a tight hug. "It's so good to see you home."

"It's good to be back." he gave a contented sigh.

His mother took a step back, taking a moment to look at him before clapping her hands together and then turned her attention towards Katie.

"Katie! It's so good to see you again!" she exclaimed as she walked over to her, giving her a hug as she had just done to Lance.

Katie shifted awkwardly as his family started to jump from him to her. Sylvio and Nadia were tugging on her jacket, trying to drag her back to the house while his mother began talking her ear off. All he could do was mouth a quick "sorry." Before she was out of his sight.

"They haven't been able to shut up about you two all morning." Veronica chuckled and held out her hand, offering to help take some of their bags.

He grinned at that. "What can I say? We're just two phenomenal people." that earned him a jab in the rib.

"Mom had strict words with Abuela before you guys arrived." Veronica started "Hopefully she'll be able to hold her tongue long enough for you to propose first."

"I hope so." He chuckled and both of them made their way towards the house.

-

It had barely been ten minutes since they stepped foot into his parent's home and already the pair of them had been swept away in different directions. His mother insisted on showing Katie a full house tour (despite the fact she had already stayed at their home on more than one occasion.) All the while his Abuela cornered him in the living room, digging for answers.

"Lance!" she exclaimed and pulled him into a soul-crushing hug. "Look at you!"

All he could do was smile as she pinched his cheeks before stepping back to give him a once over. "You've matured so much."

Without giving him an opportunity to thank her, she had already grabbed his hand and was dragging him towards the dining area. He figured that she was either going to make him have a snack or she was going to really start her interrogation.

"Take a seat, take a seat." she fussed.

He was already screaming internally.

"Abuela, if you're going to ask if I've asked her, I haven't."

Disappointment was clear on her face but she was quick to shrug it off once she caught sight of Katie entering the room, with his mother following her from close behind.

"Well that concludes the house tour!" his mother exclaimed. "You two must be starving no?"

He nodded. "Very."

Abuela clapped her hands together and ushered him to stand. "That won't do in the slightest. Come with me!" she exclaimed.

-

Dinner, for the most part, went by uneventfully much to his relief. While he had been in the middle of eating some of his mother's garlic knots, Luis had mentioned going to the Christmas night market the following day.

Everyone seemed to beam at the idea and it was quickly decided that they would go.

Once dinner was taken care of and everyone was beginning to wind down, Lance managed to sneak out to the porch for a brief moment alone.

Veronica had managed to wrap him into helping her doing the dishes earlier and the conversation they had was still hanging over his head.

"It doesn't need to be perfect you know," she said, breaking the silence.

"What?" he asked

"Your proposal," she whispered, "We can all tell you're causing yourself unnecessary stress."

"But what if I say something wrong?" he sighed "Or what if she refuses to marry-"

Small footsteps caught him off guard and he turned around to find Nadia standing behind him with an empty glass. She tilted her head innocently at him "Who's refusing to marry who?"

Fuck.

Veronica quickly swooped in before he had a chance to say anything. "Oh we were just talking about a show we've been watching. Did you want some more water?"

The younger girl nodded, seeming to believe Veronica's excuse and got her drink without any further questions. Once she had left the room, the pair of them let out a breath they had been holding.

"Nice save." he chuckled.

"Thanks, you owe me one.” 

-

The following day went by fairly quickly, much to Lance's surprise. Katie and him had woken up earlier than the rest of the Serrano clan and had spent the morning making pancakes for them, which was met with great delight, especially from Slyvio and Nadia.

Before they had a chance to clean up after breakfast, however, his mother was already shooing them out the door, claiming that Lance needed to show her the town. Of course, that confused Katie, considering she had been to his town on more than one occasion. But of course, he knew that this was his mother's way of getting him out the door in hopes of him proposing. She had never been the sutle even if she tried hard to be.

So they had spent the last two hours driving around town before finally stopping at a local bakery for lunch.

The warmth hit them immediately as they stepped foot into the building, and the aroma of freshly made bread made them more eager for their lunch.

Once their orders were placed they managed to find a small table that was tucked away behind a corner. It was a perfect spot for them.

"I'm glad it hasn't snowed today," Katie commented as she sat down.

He gave a hum of agreement. "It would have made driving a lot more difficult that's for sure."

It was cozy within the bakery, leaving the pair of them feeling very content.

"I hope my family hasn't been too much," Lance chuckled "I know that they can be a bit overbearing at times."

Surprise took Katie's face and she put her mug of hot chocolate down. "What? No! They have been nothing but sweet!"

Relief washed over him, as he got her reassurance. They hadn't made any attempts at trying to wingman his proposal, not yet at least.

"I'm glad." He reached over the table and took her hand in his.

Everything felt peaceful. They had some delicious food, warm drinks and it was relatively quiet inside. There wasn't an awkward silence but instead a comfortable one between them. It just felt right.

It felt like the right moment to do it.

"Katie," he breathed, trying his best to hide his sudden nerves.

She nodded, patiently waiting for him to continue.

The back of his neck felt warm, and he could only imagine what his cheeks looked like. He hadn't even started his speech yet and he was already getting flustered.

"I just wanted to say that you-"

His phone began to vibrate on the table, distracting them both. And if it weren't for the fact they were in a public environment, chances are he would have thrown the phone out the window.

"Ah shit," he mumbled. "It's my dad."

Katie smiled at him and nodded for him to answer it, which he hesitantly did.

"Hello?" he asked.

Expecting to hear his father's voice, he was taken aback when it was Veronica who replied back. "Sup?"

He couldn't help but roll his eyes. "What do you want V? I was kinda in the middle of something."

"Oh sorry about that," she said dismissively "I'm at the grocery store with dad right now and he wants to know if there's any food Katie would like."

"Peanut butter cookies. Bye." He shot back and hung up on her before she had a chance to draw their conversation out even longer than necessary.

He ran his hands through his hair, annoyed that their moment was now well and truly ruined. Katie on the other hand still looked content as anything as she sipped away on her hot chocolate.

There would be another opportunity to ask her. He just had to be the patient one.

-

They had spent the rest of their afternoon back at his parent's house and decided to lounge around until it was dark enough to leave for the market. Somehow Nadia and Slyvio managed to wrap Katie into a serious game of monopoly and near the end of it Luis and Marco had joined in too.

Meanwhile, Lance was lying on the couch, beginning to feel conflicted as he tried to think of a way to propose to Katie without making it cringe-worthy. He had thought about doing it on the ice, but the chances of him losing his balance while getting down on one knee was enough to make him stray from the idea.

Before he had a chance to further his existential crisis, his mother walked in, already tying up her coat and calling for them to get ready to leave. In an instant, everyone shot up from their game and the kids went running to find their coats.

It took his family almost half an hour just to leave the house but once they were all out, Lance realized he had forgotten the ring and quickly turned on his heel and headed straight back towards the house, claiming that he forgot his keys.

Much to his relief, the ring was still in the last place he put it and he shoved the box in this jacket pocket and hurried back out.

"Did you find your keys?" Katie asked once he reached her.

"Yup!" He said and held up his keys as proof. "Are you ready to go?"

Katie gave him a nod and off they headed for the night market.

-

Twinkle lights lined stalls and hung lowly on the bare branches of the trees, making the atmosphere feel all the more magical. People could be heard shrieking with laughter as they tried to skate and the warm scent of cinnamon doughnuts was very much welcomed.

Since his family wanted to do multiple different things, they had decided to split up for an hour and meet back up in the town center. Truth be told, he was a bit relieved to be walking the market alone with Katie and he could tell that she felt a little bit more relaxed once it was just the two of them.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they walked, occasionally making sure that she wasn't cold.

"Everyone is so talented," Katie mumbled in awe, as she looked over the market stalls, taking everything in.

He gave a hum of agreement but truth be told he was paying more attention to her than he was the vendors.

"Do I have something on my face?" She asked, catching his attention.

Quickly, Lance gave a cough and shook his head. "No! Not at all. Your nose is getting a little red though."

Katie scrunched her nose up at the comment. "It's not my fault it's so cold out."

He gave a small hum of agreement "That's what happens when it snows."

 They continued to browse in silence, looking at the various handmade items the locals had made. They would occasionally chat, pointing out things they liked to look of or showing them something the other missed.

The longer they were out, the colder they started to feel. They were huddling close together trying to get warm from their combined body heat and just when they were about to turn back and head for someplace warm, Lance spotted their saving grace.

A coffee truck.

"Would you like some hot chocolate?" He asked. looking at her.

At the mention of hot chocolate, she seemed to perk up. "Oh my gosh yes!"

Thankfully, much to their luck, the queue wasn't long and they had their hot drinks relatively quickly. The warmth of the cups made them both sigh out in content as they started to warm back up.

As they made their way through the streets, Lance caught sight of the lit-up gazebo in the town's community garden and was instantly drawn to it. It was like he got hit with a familiar feeling as he pointed it out to Katie, asking her to walk with it.

He felt certainty with every step he took towards the gazebo. This was the place he was going to ask. It was perfect.

Katie was in awe at the sight of the lit-up trees and the way the garden looked, it looked like something out of a fairytale. Eventually, they climbed up the stairs and Katie immediately went to the other side to continue looking at the snow-covered garden.

This was his chance, and he knew it. Quietly he pulled the small velvet box out of his jean pocket and got down on his knee behind her. It was at that moment he realized he didn't need to read out a long speech that he had been agonizing over.

Slowly he got down on one knee and held the box out and held his breath until Katie turned around. Her eyes widened the minute she caught sight of him.

Tears started to fill both of their eyes but he tried hard not to let them fall before he spoke.

"Katrina Holt." he breathed in a shaky breath. "You are the light of my life. I know I'm not perfect and I don't have much to offer you now but what I can promise you with absolute certainty is my love you and you alone."

Katie didn't say anything as she started to approach him, her own tears streaming down her face. He took a moment to hold back his own before continuing his speech.

"So Katrina Holt, my Katie, will you do me the utmost honor and marry me?"

She only managed to give a small nod before lunging herself at him, hooking her arms around his neck and kissed him- barely giving him a second to hold onto her. Because of this, they ended up fumbling to the ground.

There was a brief moment of silence as they stared at each other in surprise before he broke the silence.

"It looks like I've fallen for you again."

Katie couldn't contain her smile as he cupped her cheek and brought her in for a kiss.

The amount of relief he felt now that the main part of the proposal was over and done with was quite rejuvenating. Also, Katie saying yes was a bonus.

Once they broke the kiss they both sat up and he grabbed the box to put the ring on her finger. It was a thin band with three small pieces of emerald in the center. It was dainty but practical- just like her. It slid on like a glove and once it was on he brought her hand up and kissed her knuckles.

"I love you" He whispered.

"I love you too" She replied and wiped the remains of her tears from her face.

They stayed seated in the gazebo for a little while longer, before getting up to regroup with his family.

-

When they approached his family in the town's center, he could tell right away that both his mother and Abuela were holding their breath. Katie and he shared a look, barely able to keep their own excitement under wraps before telling them.

"So we have something to tell you.." he started, unable to hide his grin.

Katie held up her hand, showing the ring to his family, all the while trying to hide the blush on her face.

Immediately his mother let out an excited squeal and pulled the pair of them into a tight and warm embrace. After that, all of his family took turns to hug and congratulate them.

"So!" his Abuela said with a clap of her hands once everyone had settled down a bit. "We'll need to start the wedding planning."

Both of their faces paled at that and his mother jabbed his Abuela in the side.

"She's teasing." his mother reassured.

Katie seemed to visibly relax at that but Lance still had a tiny bit of dread. They still had a week of staying with his family left. And if his Abuela had any say in the matter, they'd be walking out of his house carrying wedding planners.

"Anyway!" Veronica interjected. "Let's go ice skating and then go home."

Everyone agreed in unison, and they all followed one another to the outdoor rink. And despite his families meddling ways, his heart felt so incredibly full and from the way Katie squeezed his hand from time to time, he could tell she felt the same.

It was a perfect night and they couldn't have been happier.

[annecoulmanross]

Bridgens/Peglar Egyptology AU

(for the @theterrorbingo square “modern AU” | word count: 1k fic + 1.5k AU details | rating: T | warnings: mild spooky; talk of mummies; description of a panic attack)

The Terrors are all members of the Classics (Greek & Roman Studies) department. The Erebites are all members of the Egyptology department. These two departments share the beautiful Barrow Hall building on the campus of their university, but they do NOT get along….

….until Henry Peglar, a first-year graduate student in Classics, decides that he wants to learn how to read Egyptian hieroglyphs. 

(Drabbles and AU info below the cut!) 

It turns out that most students who want to study hieroglyphs have already finished the introductory course, however, because Henry ends up in a tiny winter-term class with only two other students. The three “hieroglyph 101s” all show up a bit early to their first day of class, fumbling into a dimly-lit classroom in the basement of Barrow Hall, across from the archaeological store-rooms.

They exchange quick introductions while waiting for the instructor to arrive. Both of Henry’s classmates are undergraduate Egyptology majors: Tom Hartnell is a bright young freshman with a passion for Egyptian mummies (and, admittedly, a slightly spotty undergraduate record), and Henry Collins is a terribly anxious junior who recently switched majors from Engineering (“Please call me Collins,” he says, after Henry begins to comment that they share a name. “Everyone else already calls me Collins.”)

The moment of revelation for Henry Peglar, though, is when he first sets eyes on their instructor: a senior graduate student named John Bridgens, who walks in just a minute after the hour, with a thermos of what smells like mint tea.

John Bridgens looks almost mournful for a moment, his dark eyes soulful, a thick pea-coat sitting heavy on his shoulders (which he quickly shrugs off; it may be a chilly January outside, but Barrow Hall is toasty and warm). When John looks over to his students, though, he smiles, and his face is transformed: Henry feels like the sun has suddenly come out from behind the blustery clouds.

Henry quickly realizes that learning Egyptian won’t be like learning Greek or Latin, but fortunately John is a very good teacher. Even though John holds office hours at an ungodly hour of the morning, Henry shows up to every office hour with a bright smile and a long list of questions.

What Henry doesn’t yet know is that he’s in for the most exciting semester of his life…

(Featuring such hijinks as: John and his students Henry, Tom, and Collins get locked into the archaeological store-room with the mummies, in the dark! Henry and Tom Hartnell uncover a secret that could overturn the Egyptology department! Henry develops an unfortunate crush on his instructor! What could go wrong!)

+ 

“We’re Trapped in Here, Aren’t We?” (Bonus Drabble)

The four of them have now been locked in the basement, in the dark, for over an hour.

Collins is quietly freaking out, sitting on a storage crate in the corner of the main room of the museum storage space. Henry watches Tom Hartnell deftly trying to help Collins regulate his breathing to a pace approaching normal, with some success; Henry decides not to intervene.

“We’re trapped in here, aren’t we?” Collins asks. He doesn’t sound panicked anymore, just stressed; it’s an improvement.

Tom rubs Collins’s shoulder reassuringly, and says, “I don’t know for certain, but I’m not going to let it worry me – we’re going to be okay, alright?” Tom then turns to Henry Peglar and tilts his head, adding: “Eddie Hoar told me that there used to be a secret passage that ran between Barrow Hall and the library, and that the door opened up somewhere here in the storage-rooms. Maybe we can find it?”

Henry nods, flashes a grin that feels fake but must seem genuine in the low light of the storage-rooms’ emergency lighting, because Tom smiles back at him. “I’ll go check on John,” Henry says. “See if he doesn’t know anything about a tunnel.”

Slipping in between the shelves of Greek ceramics, Henry winds his way toward the back workroom where he left John Bridgens, who had been convinced that there must be an extra key somewhere in the workroom desk drawers.

Henry is so caught up in thoughts of tunnels that fails to notice the packing box sitting next to the shelves and he manages to trip right over it. He takes the fall hard, feeling the chilly linoleum under his now-aching arm, his eyes squeezed shut against the pain. When he opens his eyes, though, Henry feels a bolt of fear run though him – for a moment he thinks he’s gone blind, because he sees nothing but darkness. A moment later, the ancient emergency lights flicker back on, and that’s worse because Henry is face-to-face with the mummy.

Henry had forgotten that she was stored here, under the shelves of Egyptian faience. He distantly remembers Dr. Blanky pointing out “the Egyptian girl, our princess,” in her lovely painted coffin, on a tour through the storage rooms last year when he had been a prospective student – but the fact that she was down here (trapped with us, his mind whispers) had escaped his mind.

Shuddering, Henry pushes himself up from the cold floor and backs up against the wall as the lights keep flickering. He knows, he knows, that there’s nothing to fear here, but the sight of the girl’s skin, drawn tight against her skin, her eerie grimace, had shaken him.

“Henry?”

Henry jumps about a foot in the air, but it’s just John, peering out from the workroom door.

“Henry, are you okay?” John continues, his brow furrowed with worry.

Henry swallows. “Yup, yeah, just took a tumble.” He straightens up, tries to collect himself. “Did you find an extra key?” he asks John.

But John isn’t so easily dissuaded. “Are you sure you’re alright?” He steps up next to Henry, a hand hovering over the arm that Henry’s cradling to his chest (Henry’s certain it isn’t broken, but he knows it’ll be bruised a bit).

Henry looks up into John’s eyes and exhales softly to see the loving concern written there. John’s so close now, lifting a hand toward Henry’s cheek, and Henry wants this, wants to reach out and embrace; he finally feels his limbs stop shaking now that John’s here, even as his heart races and his face tilts up…

…. and that’s the moment when the emergency lights finally flicker their last, and the corridor goes dark as a tomb.

+

Some Background on the Humanities Departments of Barrow Hall

The Department of Classics

The Classics program at Barrow Hall is small but powerful. Most of the faculty get along well with each other, professionally, although they don’t socialize much. There aren’t many graduate students in the program, but most of the grad students they do have are quite active on the university campus.

Classics Faculty

Dr. Crozier is the department chair of the Classics program. He teaches early Roman history, with a focus on land surveying, and he takes a very scientific approach to his material.

Dr. Little is an associate professor who teaches Greek military history and gets very excited about ancient weapons. (“Like the shot that killed Leonidas at Thermopylae!”)

Dr. Hodgson is an associate professor who teaches Greek drama; he’s particularly obsessed with the tragedies of Euripides – the more ritualistic violence the better.

Dr. Irving is an assistant professor who teaches later Roman history, and can turn any conversation into a debate about the early history of Christianity. His most recent book was titled “Coming Out Christian in the Roman World: How the Followers of Jesus Made a Place in Caesar's Empire.” * Despite Irving’s own Christian faith and his social justice outreach work with the campus Queer Interfaith club, Irving’s a bit of a chronological traditionalist when it comes to academic research, and tends to dismiss any literature written after Augustine.

Drs. Peddie and MacDonald are actually part of the History Department, but because they teach Medieval Latin, they’re considered honorary members of the classics faculty. (MacDonald teaches a wildly popular undergraduate seminar – cross-listed with Classics and History – called “Witches, Ghosts, and Potions: Medical Mysteries in Medieval Europe.”)

Dr. Blanky is the exception to the “we hate the Egyptologists” rule – Thomas gets along quite well with a certain Dr. Reid, both of whom have a passion for film studies, and together they’ve organized a weekly historical film series for the undergrads. Dr. Reid’s top picks are old-school classics like Cleopatra (1963) and Julius Caesar (1953); Blanky, on the other hand, is partial to Gladiator (2000). He’s also the exception to the “this department doesn’t socialize rule,” being, himself, a long-time best friend of department chair Dr. Crozier.

Classics Grad Students

Thomas Jopson is an older graduate student – he’s just a breath away from receiving his PhD: Dr. Crozier, who has been supervising his thesis on the systems of enslavement in the Roman Republic and the lived experiences of Roman slaves, is extremely proud of Thomas’s sensitive eye for historical evidence. Thomas also works for the campus mental health office, leading a therapy group for adult children of those suffering from addiction.

Billie Gibson, another grad student, is part-way through writing his dissertation on the reception of Greek ideas about homosexuality in the Victorian period, under the supervision of a confused but supportive Dr. Irving. (“Isn’t this more of a History department topic?”)

“Hickey” started the PhD program at the same time as Billie, and he’s begun writing his thesis on cannibalistic imagery in Greek poetry with Dr. Hodgson. Everyone just calls him Hickey, and Henry Peglar hasn’t been able to figure out his full name (or whether “Hickey” is a first name or a last name, or even whether “Hickey” is part of his real name at all) because no one ever updates the Classics department website. Hickey is part of a student organization called the Dionysians, but they’re not listed on the university’s roster of sanctioned clubs, and no one seems to know what it is that they do, exactly.

Henry Peglar is the newest member of the department, a first-year grad student. He’s planning on studying depictions of ancient history in modern fiction, hopefully with Dr. Blanky, who also happens to be his first-year advisor.

The Department of Egyptology

The Egyptology program at Barrow Hall has been having some hiring problems in recent years. Not only did several older professors retire, but the young Dr. Gore decided to move into museum-work full-time and Dr. Fairholme was ‘poached’ by the rival Egyptology program at another university. As a result, the Department of Egyptology has been under-staffed, with too many grad students and too few professors, resulting in two controversial recent faculty hires.

Egyptology Faculty

Dr. John is the department chair of the Egyptology program. He teaches ancient Egyptian literature and has a rather old-fashioned perspective on middle Egyptian grammar.

Dr. Reid teaches courses on the history of archaeological discoveries in Egypt, and the culture of artifact (mis-)handling by European excavators. He’s friendly with Dr. Blanky in the Classics program, and he lovingly crafts discussion questions for the film-showings that he and Blanky run. (He’ll never admit it, but he secretly loves the 1999 Mummy movie.)

Dr. Stanley teaches classes on ancient Egyptian medicine. He’s known for his severe grading policies and for his impressive ability to ruin the fun of topic that involves things like magic spells and fever-demons and having sex with crocodiles.

Dr. Fitzjames is one of the two new faculty members, a dashing archaeologist with an impressive résumé of excavation in Egypt – although, as Dr. Crozier has wryly observed, some of his funding sources for those digs haven’t always been completely above-board.

Dr. Le Vesconte is the other new faculty member, an associate professor with an equally flashy history of excavation and publication. Rumor is that he and Dr. Fitzjames once found a live cheetah in an Egyptian tomb and tried to keep it as the excavation’s mascot.

Egyptology Grad Students

Edmund “Eddie” Hoar is a senior doctoral candidate, working dedicatedly on a massive dissertation about Egyptian stamps and seals. He’s been working with Dr. John because his old advisor recently retired, and with Eddie’s advisor gone, Eddie’s pretty much the only person on campus who knows his way around the dusty archaeological collection in the basement of Barrow Hall.

John Bridgens has been with the program about as long as Eddie, but he’s closer to finishing his thesis, a sprawling dissertation on Egyptian poetry under Dr. John’s supervision.

Charles “Freddie” Des Voeux is part-way through writing a thesis on Napoleon’s excavations in Egypt; his advisor is Dr. Reid. (He’s also roommates with Eddie Hoar, and the two of them are known as “(Fr)eddie” in the grad student group chat.)

Harry Goodsir is a first-year PhD student, who entered the program at the same time Henry Peglar started in Classics; the two of them met at the university-wide graduate student orientation, and Harry encouraged Henry to take hieroglyphs, which Harry had learned himself while he was an undergraduate, while volunteering with his siblings at an Egyptian museum in their hometown. Harry’s interested in Egyptian archaeology, hoping to study with Dr. Fitzjames and Dr. Le Vesconte, but there was a paperwork mix-up that placed Dr. Stanley as Harry’s first-year advisor (Harry is unhappy about it; Dr. Stanley is even more unhappy about it).

Members of Associated Departments in Nearby Ross Hall (& Their Drama)

Dr. James C. Ross is the co-chair of the anthropology program and a dear friend of Dr. Crozier in classics. Though he does have a complicated legacy with the university – being a descendent of the famous (if problematic) explorer, Sir John Ross, for whom Ross Hall is named – Dr. James is well-liked by his students and forward-thinking about his discipline.

Ross’s co-chair, Dr. Silna Kamookak, thinks Ross could stand to apply his anthropology to real-world problems a bit more intensively. Dr. Kamookak is a rising star in applied archaeology and she publishes on issues of museum collection ethics and heritage management; the graduate seminar she teaches on Inuit oral history documentation is known to be one of the best courses in the department.

Dr. Jane Franklin is the chair of English Literature; her research interests revolve around the writings of Charles Dickens. All the students in Barrow Hall call her “Dr. Jane,” and call her husband “Dr. John,” because neither would agree to let the other be called “Dr. Franklin.” A memo was circulated. It was messy.

Dr. Sophia Cracroft is an assistant professor in the History of Science department, and a frequent collaborator with Dr. Crozier in an ongoing interdisciplinary project about ancient cartography; although Dr. Cracroft has often tried to get Dr. John Franklin to permit a collaboration with the Egyptology department, Dr. John has always refused. Cracroft’s grad students say that it’s because Dr. John heard something “unsavory” about the relationship between Dr. Cracroft and Dr. Crozier. None of the grad students know what this “unsavory” thing is, but gossip ranges from the vanilla (an affair) to the bizarre (a papyrus smuggling ring).

Other Details

Goldner’s is a purveyor of textbooks of dubious quality. For some reason, all of the introductory language classes in both the Classics and Egyptology departments are always assigned Goldner’s textbooks, much to the students’ and instructors’ displeasure.

* “Coming Out Christian in the Roman World: How the Followers of Jesus Made a Place in Caesar's Empire,” is a real book! (It was not, however, written by John Irving.) I had a fantastic time reading it a few years ago – go check it out.  

[sugarless-suki-writes]

Big God

Fandom: Inuyasha Rating: M Word Count: 8,537 Chapters: 7 of ?

Read on FF||Ao3

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Chapter Seven: Pretending

Kagome let out a groan, more of a whine really, as she pleaded for Sango to just stop. She had taken care of all her things she needed to do earlier in the day; i.e. bathing, making her skin as smooth as a dolphin, eating lunch, etc. Now, she just needed help with her outfit and here Sango, her supposed best friend, was berating and teasing her, and has been for the past hour. As soon as Kagome had stepped out of the shower and dried off, she had messaged Sango to make sure Miroku wasn’t around before Facetiming her. And that’s when it had begun…

“Look Kagome, all I’m saying is that I’m hurt you hadn’t told me sooner.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure it was going to go anywhere beforehand!” she defended, rummaging through her dresser. Her phone was propped up on her nightstand.

“Seriously? You expect me to believe that? Don’t you realize what the gifts mean?”

Kagome stilled for a moment as she thought about it. Her cheeks turned pink. “Not… 100% no…” She heard Sango sigh and she turned her head to look up at her phone, seeing that her friend had her head in her hand.

“It’s how wolf youkai start their courtship. How do you not remember this? We learned this in high school!”

Kagome’s cheeks darkened. “Look, high school was a looooong time ago!”

“Not long enough for you to forget!”

“Well we all can’t have slayer training like some people!” she snapped back. Sango rolled her eyes and that’s where the conversation ended. Kagome stood up, huffy, and moved over to her closet, dragging her phone along with her and propping it up. “Let’s just get back to the task at hand, shall we?”

“Yeah, alright. So, what are you going for here?”

The miko shrugged. “I dunno.. I just… wanna look really good, okay? But not like… too… good?” She threw her hands in the air then and made an unintelligible noise. Thankfully, Sango was well-versed in Kagomenese and understood what she meant.

“Yeah, alright. How about going through your dresses? You haven’t worn any in a while. I’m sure it’ll be a nice change from pants. Plus, it’s a little warmer, so you won’t have to put on tights, like you would a skirt.” Kagome nodded, taking in Sango’s wealth of information. She then went back over to her closet and opened it. As she was rummaging around, she heard Sango speak up from behind her. “Hey Kagome… may I ask why you’re wearing your sexy underwear?”

Kagome’s cheeks turned bright red and her body felt hot. She quickly turned around and hid her hands behind her back. “Wha.. I don’t.. What are you talking about?”

“Oh, I think you know. You sly little minx, you just wanna jump right into it don’t you? I didn’t know it was like that.” Sango had a smirk on her face that could rival Miroku’s lecherous one. Kagome suddenly had the thought that she was hanging around him too much… Sure, they may be married, but a little time apart wouldn’t hurt.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mhmmmmmm…”

“Look!” she pointed an accusing finger at Sango, making sure to aim for where the camera was so it would translate to her pointing in her face on Sango’s end. However, her confidence didn’t last long.. “I.. You.. Wha… S.. Okay, but you always say to be prepared for anything and to always wear your cute underwear!” she said, trying to defend herself. Sango was practically cackling now. “Sh-Shut up!” With that, Kagome turned away, flashing her ass at her best friend once again as she ransacked her closet.

Once Sango’s laughter finally died down, she set about trying to help her. “So, are you sure you wanna do the thong?”

Kagome’s cheeks darkened once more. She wasn’t sure why she was so embarrassed, she and Sango talked about underwear all the time, and the slayer had seen her naked on more than one occasion. “Well, they’re just comfortable to wear in dresses..” she provided, a bit meekly.

“Well what about your pair that’s completely lace? I say, if you’re gonna go all out then go all out.” Kagome considered this for a moment as she was squatting on the floor looking for shoes. She tapped her finger against her chin. That pair had always come in handy for her… The lace was floral in design but scalloped around the edge, so it framed her but nicely and left a bit of skin uncovered. She had taken nudes in it once before and it never failed to send whatever lover she had at the time absolutely reeling. It was a 100% guaranteed knock out. “Lace is also quite comfortable to wear underneath a dress.” Sango said.

Kagome turned her head around, looking up at her phone on the nightstand. “You are incorrigible.”

“I’m only trying to help, Kagome.”

The miko rolled her eyes and continued to rummage through her closet. Despite the attitude she was giving Sango, Kagome soon walked over to her dresser and changed her underwear. Sango cheered and Kagome almost stopped the call.

The two continued to whittle away at Kagome’s options until they finally decided on a navy-blue dress. It was form fitting at the top with a small stripe of lace that ran across her chest and shoulders. The skirt went down to her knees and there was another band of floral lace that skated near the edge of the skirt. Kagome gave a little twirl in front of her mirror, and also Sango.

“Now, how are you going to do your hair? And are you going with makeup or no makeup?”

Kagome hummed in thought. “I think I’m just going to keep my hair simple, maybe help bring out the curl? And yes, makeup, always!” she replied, the last part uttered with an obvious tone and accentuated with a roll of her eyes. Sango simply laughed. The miko then picked up her phone and dragged her best friend into the bathroom with her. They chatted idly as Kagome applied her makeup. Sango asked questions about her date, and Kagome gave answers the best she could.

She wasn’t sure where they were going, but from what she knew about Kouga, and from what Sango told her about wolf youkai, it was going to be extravagant. And if not extravagant, then it was most definitely going to be a hearty meal. Given his profession, he likely had money as well... Kagome kept Kouga’s “work” under wraps, simply telling Sango she wasn’t sure what he did for a living.

Before long, Kagome was all ready and saying her goodbyes to Sango. “I’ll text you when I get home and let you know how the date went.”

“Alright. If you don’t text, I’m going to make assumptions.” she replied, waggling her eyebrows.

Kagome’s cheeks were burning. “Goodbye Sango!”

The slayer was cackling once again. “Goodbye Kagome, have fun!”

And with that, the call was ended. All Kagome had to do now was wait until 6 o’clock. Thankfully, she wouldn’t have to wait too long, as it was 5:46 right now. Kagome was simply putzing around, collecting the few things she had left to collect. She made sure to put the lipstick she was using into her purse, along with her wallet. She wandered back into her room, grabbing a creme colored cardigan to bring with her, just in case she needed it.

She had to resist the urge to chew on her lip as she looked down at her phone, plopping down onto her couch. She and Kouga hadn’t texted all day. She appreciated him allowing her to rest and get ready, but now she was feeling a bit anxious.

5:51

Nine more minutes.

Gods, she was going to die. She needed to find something to distract herself with.. but what? She had no clue... She checked her phone again.

5:52

This was torture. Why couldn’t he show up early? Did he really have to come on time? She let out a sigh and fully unlocked her phone, going to one of her social media apps and just started scrolling. That usually killed time pretty quickly... Thankfully, it seemed to work, as in what felt like no time at all, she heard a knock at her door. A quick look at the time showed that it was 6:00 on the dot. She rolled her eyes before she stood up, walking towards the door, unlocking and opening it.

She was greeted by the sight of the man who was driving her seven kinds of crazy. He was dressed in a pair of black pants, a light blue button up and, of course, his black leather jacket. She drank him in as his eyes roamed over her. She could feel him staring at every inch of her and she had to resist the urge to squeeze her thighs together.

Kouga chewed at the inside of his cheek. She was stunning, and just one look at her had him weak. He wanted nothing more than to cancel their plans and just spend the night in her apartment, doing unspeakable things. His wolf was anxious, pushing him to take her, claim her now, mate her. Kouga kept himself in check, repeating to himself that these things would happen in due time. He needed to be patient.

Her scent was intoxicating, a wonderfully spicy scent mixing in with her natural one. He wanted to move closer, inspect the change in scent more, however he soon caught her eyes and saw the flush on her cheeks. He grinned and watched as her blush darkened, a small smile working its way onto her face as well.

“Well.. you certainly seem casual. I thought this was a date.” she teased, poking his chest delicately with her index finger.

“I thought I didn’t need to impress you.” he fired back.

Kagome rolled her eyes, a laugh bubbling in her chest and causing her shoulders to shake slightly. She looked at him through her lashes and somehow, somehow Kouga was even more of a goner than he was before. “So, where are we going tonight?”

Nowhere. Staying here. Who needs food? Despite all the things he wanted to say, and being egged on by his beast, Kouga managed to push them down and get out the actual plans for the night, the premade plans. If Kouga hadn’t already had things set up for them, he wasn’t sure he would be able to leave her apartment right now. “We’re going to this place I know. It’s small, not really fancy, but the food is good and definitely worth it.” he said.

She nodded and turned away from him to grab her shoes, a pair of black heels that she had hidden behind the door. Kouga watched as she put them on, licking his lips as she completed her look. She was just trying to absolutely destroy him tonight, wasn’t she?

Once she was done, she adjusted the strap of her purse and stepped out of her apartment, Kouga moving out of her way and standing slightly off to the side. He watched as she locked everything up and then turned to him once more, greeting him with a bright cheery smile. He couldn’t help but smile back.

-BG-

It was a bit of a trek, but nothing too terrible and definitely not enough for Kagome to regret wearing heels. They had turned into an alleyway and stopped in front of a small store front. There was a sliding door and the sign outside simply said “Sushi”. Well, at least she now knew what they were going to be eating. While the restaurant itself may not be extravagant, she had a feeling the food would be, otherwise Kouga wouldn’t have brought her here.

She was pulled out of her thoughts as Kouga opened the door for her. She smiled up at him and stepped inside. The inside of the restaurant was fairly small, but there was a bit more seating than she thought there would be, most of it being at the bar. They picked a spot and sat down and as they settled in, Kagome took time to look around the restaurant. The inside was simple as well; the lighting was soft and somewhat romantic, and as for decorations, there wasn’t much. There were a couple plants here and there, and there were some family photos on the walls. On one wall, were several pictures of patrons. She was surprised there wasn’t a photo of Kouga up there, but then again, maybe he didn’t want a photo.. given the fact he was a member of the yakuza.

Kagome turned back around to face the menu that was posted behind the chef. She hummed softly to herself as she considered her options. Some water was handed to them, and they both thanked him. As Kagome contemplated her options, Kouga watched her, a warm smile on his face. “You know you can get whatever you want, right?”

She turned to look at him, a light pink staining her cheeks. “I.. I realize. There’s just a lot of options..” she replied. She was having a hard time deciding what kind of sushi she wanted. She loved octopus and mackerel, both things she hasn’t had in a while. However, she also absolutely loved salmon. Looking at the fish in the case didn’t help matters either; everything looked so fresh and delicious. Maybe... maybe she should just get a chef’s choice platter... Yeah that might be for the best.

She looked up at the chef and smiled warmly at him. “I’d like an assorted sashimi and a seaweed salad, thank you.”

“I’ll take the same.”

The chef nodded and Kagome watched with rapt attention as he set to work. Their salads came first, and whatever the seaweed was marinated in was delicious. There was a small bed of cucumbers underneath the seaweed, as well as a slice of lemon to the side to squeeze on as needed. The lemon only heightened the flavor and Kagome felt like she had gone to heaven.

Kagome and Kouga chatted idly as they waited for their main course, taking small bites of their salad in between. Kagome mostly talked about work, prattling on and on about some of her more ridiculous cases. While she would normally give Kouga all the gory details, she refrained this time around, seeing as they were in a restaurant. Kouga watched her as she spoke, taking in all her mannerisms and watching the way her lips moved as she talked. She had put on a dark red lipstick and it was driving him crazy. While she didn’t need makeup, in his opinion, it most definitely accentuated some of her features. What he wouldn’t give to just pull her close and kiss her senseless. But they were in public and he didn’t want to cause any embarrassment. Humans were weird about PDA, but he wanted to respect her boundaries.

They soon received their main course and thanked the sushi chef. They then proceeded to dig in and Kagome felt herself melt. It was absolutely delicious. “This is fantastic..” she said after she had finished her piece of salmon.

“Yeah, I really like this place. Everything is really fresh and high quality.”

“Yeah, you can definitely tell..” She ate a couple more pieces of fish before she finished up her story. “So, yeah.. that was a pretty wild ride.” she finished off with a shrug.

Kouga laughed. “You certainly seem to take all this in stride.”

“I mean, you kind of have to, you know? As one of my professors in school always said, ‘If you’re not laughing about it, you’re crying about it’ and they’re really good words to live by. You have to find the humor in things... Though to be fair, for this particular case it wasn’t too hard to find the humor.” she said with a giggle.

“Yeah, definitely.” he replied. There was another small pause for them to eat a bit more before Kouga spoke up again. “So here’s something I’ve been a bit confused about; why is it so important for mikos to be in the hospital? Why are you needed constantly and deemed so important but highly overworked?” he asked.

Kagome considered her wording for a moment, chewing on a piece of octopus as she did so. “Well, mikos have incredible healing abilities. It really makes a difference in life or death situations. Humans–  we’re so fragile, you know? Any little bit that can increase the rate of survival is good in a hospital. However, there’s not a lot of mikos anymore. Well, not any with the power level needed to heal major wounds and help hurry along a youkai’s healing factor.” She paused as she thought it over a bit more, taking a sip of water.

“Being overworked like we are.. it’s definitely difficult, but I love my job. I just.. I don’t know. I love helping people. I wanna do what I can. Yeah, I’m utterly exhausted most of the time, but I feel like it’s a necessary evil, you know?” She looked up at him and saw the look on his face. He seemed a bit shocked, impressed, and something else, something she couldn’t place.

Kouga’s hand twitched at his side, wanting to reach out to her, pull her close, but he refrained from doing so. She was so compassionate, and while it really shouldn’t surprise him, the intensity of it made him do a double take. He could smell the passion and determination in her scent, and it only made him fall for her harder. After a couple seconds, he lost his internal battle and brought a hand up to cup her cheek. Kagome’s breath caught in her throat, her eyes not leaving his. His gaze was intense, hypnotizing, and she couldn’t help but get lost. His thumb stroked her cheek softly, leaving a blazing trail in its wake. She unconsciously leaned into his touch, just ever so slightly. It filled Kouga with a sense of triumph and he couldn’t help but flash her a lopsided grin.

Kagome felt her heart stutter in her chest at his grin. This was it, this was how she was going to die. At least it’s not a bad way to go, she couldn’t complain about dying in the hands of a very handsome man. She smiled softly back up at him, bringing her hand up to cup his and stroke her thumb along the top of his hand.

They stayed like this for a couple more moments, silently enjoying each other’s company and unable to look away. They did, eventually, pull away to finish off their meal. Thankfully there wasn’t much left of it, the both of them eager to get out of the restaurant, maybe somewhere more secluded. Once their meal was finished, Kouga paid and once he received his check, they were out the door and walking down the street, back the way they came.

Kagome looked up at him periodically as they walked, trying to form words in her head. It was difficult, seeing how muddied it was. However, she eventually managed. “So... how did you get into this.. ‘lifestyle’ of yours?” she asked, using air quotes.

Kouga chuckled a bit. “Well, we kind of ran out of options at some point in time.” She quirked a brow at this and Kouga rubbed the back of his neck for a moment. “Y’see... we originally come from the mountains. We were driven out by our enemy, the Birds of Paradise. I don’t know if they’re still around or not, haven’t really heard anything about them in a while. We’ve always wanted to go back to our homeland, but it’s most likely been built over.”

Kagome frowned at this. Sensing her sympathy, Kouga looked down at her and gave her a smile. “Don’t worry, it doesn’t bother us anymore; we’ve had years to get over it.” He gave a shrug and that seemed to appease her, for now at least. “We grew increasingly closer to human communities, and sometime after the feudal era, when things started to develop more, we had to start blending in, or at least take advantage of what little we still had over the humans. Once they started forming gangs, we did as well. Not really hard for wolf youkai, you could say we were always kind of like a gang.” he said, giving her a wicked grin. Kagome’s eyes zeroed in on his fangs, glistening in the moonlight. She wondered what they would feel like dragging along her skin... She unconsciously licked her lips and Kouga faltered for a split second as he watched the action, light pink sliding across a deep, dark, almost blood red. However, he recovered before the miko could notice.

“But we took part in some of the.. nastier business that humans seemed reluctant to do. Most yakuza killings are done by hired youkai. Some youkai yakuza are even closely tied to the main human yakuza families. Not all of us, of course, but there are some. The majority of the youkai yakuza are independent though.”

Kagome nodded, trying to take all this information in. “I bet it’s hard.. trying to fit in with society as it changes at a rapid pace.. rapid for you at least.”

“It is a bit difficult, but we manage. You have to, or else you won’t survive.” he said simply, shrugging nonchalantly.

“Yeah, I can see that.” she replied.

“There’s just some youkai that don’t make the cut. Nothing we can really do about it.” He shrugged once again and Kagome only nodded in response.

They fell into a bit of silence then. It wasn’t uncomfortable, it was actually quite nice and relaxing. Kouga took this time to look Kagome over more. Her dress hugged in all the right places, accentuating her curves in a mouthwateringly tantalizing way. Her heels added height and brought her closer to his chin, rather than at his shoulders. It would be so easy for him to swoop down and steal a kiss. Gods how he wanted to do that.. But he wanted to do this properly; wait until he dropped her off at her door, and if she didn’t want him to stay, that was fine. He could take care of himself later once he got home.

Kagome felt his eyes on her and she resisted the urge to shudder as a chill ran up her spine. She was eager to get to her apartment, but a part of her wanted to drag this out a bit, tease him a little. So, she added a bit of an extra sway to her hips, relishing as she felt his eyes get drawn to them. She held back her smile to the best of her ability.

“So, would it be safe to assume you’re walking me to my door?” she asked. She peeked up at him from the corner of her eye, watching as a lopsided grin grew across his face.

“Well of course. It would be rude not to. This is a date after all.” he replied.

She chuckled a bit. “Good answer.” She turned her head to fully face him, flashing him a bright smile. It stunned him for a good second before he was grinning back at her.

“Why are you asking?”

“Just wanted to be sure.” She shrugged ever so casually before resting her hand on the rail of the steps leading up to her apartment.

“We both know I’m a perfect gentleman.”

She stopped at the step she was on and turned to look at him, quirking an eyebrow. “Oh, are you now?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, given what you do for a living... one could think otherwise.”

His fangs flashed in his widening grin. “And what could people possibly think?”

She paused, climbing the rest of the stairs and starting to walk down the hallway before she gave him her answer. “Well, someone could think you’re a big bad wolf.” She looked up at him through her lashes. She could see the desire in his eyes, and she was certain he could see it in hers too, hell, he could probably smell it all over her.

“And why can’t a ‘big bad wolf’ also be a gentleman?”

They were now stopped in front of her door, standing in front of each other now. She didn’t have to crane her neck up as much to look at him. She wasn’t sure if she was disappointed by this fact or not... “I don’t know.. maybe you can prove me wrong.”

He stepped closer to her and her breath caught in her throat. His smirk grew. “And how would I be able to do that?” he asked, voice low and husky. The timbre of his voice vibrated along her skin and rumbled through her chest, leaving her knees weak.

“You could kiss me goodnight.” she breathed.

His grin grew impossibly wide. His hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking the skin there for a couple seconds. He then leaned down, bringing his face closer to hers. Kagome closed her eyes as she tried to remind herself to breathe. His lips were soon pressed to hers, and they both felt as if they could die.

The kiss was supposed to be quick, chaste, fleeting. However, as soon as Kouga had started to pull away, the miko was wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him back in. Their lips crashed together, and from there, everything was hot.

A growl rumbled through Kouga’s chest as he returned her kiss with the same fierceness she was showing him. His hands snagged her waist and she was soon pressed against the door. She let out a soft, barely audible moan, but Kouga managed to catch it with his heightened sense. The small sound set him ablaze and he pushed his tongue past her lips, eliciting a gasp from the miko trapped in his hold. One of her hands traveled up to the back of his head and tried to find purchase in his hair, but he had it tied up into a ponytail. Damnit...

After a few more moments of feverish kissing, Kouga pulled away. He took in her state, feeling pride well up in his chest at the sight of her. Her lipstick was smeared and her cheeks were stained red. Her hair was slightly disheveled and she was giving off the most intoxicating scent, and he now knew what it was. The spiciness in her scent was her arousal, and it just continued to grow, getting thicker and hanging in the air longer, invading his sense and driving him mad.

Before Kagome could fully register what was going on, he dove in again, this time aiming for her neck. He pressed a kiss to her neck before giving it a small nip. She gasped and her hand that was still around his neck gripped at his jacket. He continued to bite along her neck, trying to be mindful of his fangs. They ached to sink into the skin of her neck, and despite how badly he wanted to claim her right here and right now, he knew he shouldn’t. Humans were different. He just needed to try to remind himself of that.

Kagome bit her lip, trying to keep her moans back. They were outside after all, and she wouldn’t be able to stand the embarrassment of being heard. Though after a few moments, it became too much. She lowered both her hands to Kouga’s chest and lightly pushed on it. “Kouga... in-inside..” she managed to get out.

Kouga gave her neck one last nip before he pulled away. It took the miko a couple seconds to recover, for the fog to leave her mind before she started digging for her keys. It didn’t take her long, and she was soon unlocking the door with shaky hands. They stepped inside and Kouga closed and locked the door behind them. They took off their shoes, Kagome having a bit of a difficult time with how weak her legs felt right now, and as soon as they stepped away from the door and into her living room, the wolf was on her again. Except this time he didn’t hold back.

One hand cupped her face, tilting her head back while the other pressed against her lower back. He pressed his lips against hers feverishly, pushing his tongue past her lips and pulling her body flush against his. Kagome didn’t hold back her moan, though it was muffled from the kiss. A low growl rumbled through his chest and vibrated along her skin, causing her to break into goosebumps. Her arms snaked around his neck, one hand going up to the back of his head. She reached for the elastic of his ponytail, and once she found it, she tugged on it, pulling it off until she was able to slip it around her wrist and his hair was falling loosely around his shoulders. With it now free, she grabbed a fistful of it and tugged on it as she sucked on his tongue. Kouga moaned, melting under her touch. Gods, if he wasn’t already in heaven, he was going to die and go there soon.

The kiss was broken once more, and the wolf was back at her neck, nipping on the skin a bit harsher this time, his hands gripping her hips tightly. Kagome gasped, her grip in his hair and on his jacket tightening. Her head tilted to the side, giving him more access to her neck. He gave her a pleased rumble in return. “J-Just.. no – haahh – m-marks on my.. mmmmnnneck. I don’t have a lot of.. c-concealer left..” He was a bit disappointed, but he complied with her request.

“Anywhere else fair game?” he asked, his voice rumbling through his chest.

“Y-Yes. Anywhere else.”

He hummed in response and continued his trail of small bites along her neck. Kagome’s legs felt weak under his touch, the actual thing proving to be better than she could have imagined.

She shakily brought her hands to his shoulders and started to push off his jacket. She managed to get it down to the crook in his elbows, but she was stopped there. His hands on her hips prevented her from moving the jacket any further down. Thankfully, Kouga seemed to catch onto what she was doing and he removed his hands, placing them at his sides long enough for the leather jacket to fall to the floor. Once it was off, his hands were back on her hips.

His hands soon slid up her body, ghosting along her curves and eventually reaching her shoulders, where he pulled away from her neck to slide her cardigan off and toss it to the side. His hands then reached for the back of her dress, undoing the clasp there and then reaching for her zipper. He paused, taking a moment to look at her, seek her approval. She nipped at her lower lip and he had to suppress a groan. Her hands moved to the collar of his shirt and then the buttons of it. She began to undo them and he took that as his cue.

He kept his pace in time with hers, unzipping her dress at the same pace she was unbuttoning his shirt. The zipper stopped once it reached her hips, but thankfully she was done with his shirt at the same time. She looked up at him, into his eyes and she almost got lost in them for a moment. There was a hunger in their depths and it made her shudder. Is this what prey felt like before they were devoured?

Her hands came up to his shoulders and she started to push off his shirt. His hands left her body in order for her to undress him. She looked at the exposed skin, taking in his tattoos, his abs, and his sweet, juicy, succulent tits. She brought a hand up to his chest, tracing over the linework of his tattoos. Wolves, a full moon, and lilies. To be honest, the lilies still surprised her, but she figured they had a meaning to him, or maybe to wolf youkai in general. She would have to ask him later.

While Kouga was happy she was looking him over, and even happier that she was touching him, he was eager to get her dress off. He brought his hands up to her shoulders and hooked his thumbs into the fabric and began to pull. This seemed to catch her attention, and she removed her hands from his chest instantly. Her teeth caught her lip again and Kouga tried to not focus on that for too long. He began to slide the dress off her body, watching as her skin was exposed to him. The top part of the dress was soon off and all he had to work off was the skirt. However, he took a moment to look her over, drink her in. She had on a black strapless bra that had a small lace edging. Her skin was pale, like porcelain and he couldn’t wait to mark it up, claim her as his.

His thumbs hooked into the fabric at her waist and he looked her in the eye. He sought her approval, making sure she still wanted this. She returned the intensity of his gaze and brought her hand up to the button of his pants, the corner of her mouth twitching into a snarky grin. He couldn’t help but chuckle. He began to slide off the rest of her dress as she undid his pants and let them drop to the floor. Soon, they were both standing in their underwear and Kouga nearly choked.

Lace.

Her underwear was nothing but lace. Black, floral lace. He reached a hand out and brushed his fingers along the fabric, still in awe. Kagome giggled and that snapped him out of his trance. “You alright Kouga?” she asked, her tone teasing.

He smirked back at her. “You were planning for this, weren’t you?” he asked, grabbing at her waist and slowly pulling her close.

“Maybe..” She gave him a sly smile and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“What am I going to do with you?”

“I have a few ideas..” Her eyes shifted towards her bedroom door and Kouga followed her gaze. He grinned before looking back at her.

“Would you like to discuss them in your room?”

She looked up at him through her lashes, her smile turning sultry. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

Despite their calm, casual demeanor, they quickly made their way to the bedroom. They broke out into giggles as they almost collided into each other when they reached the door. Kagome fumbled for a moment, momentarily distracted by the heat Kouga was emitting behind her. Gods she couldn’t wait for him to pin her down and utterly destroy her.

She thrust the door open, a bit more forceful than she meant to, and they both stumbled into her room. Kouga closed the door behind them with his foot. Normally, he would’ve taken time to look around the room, but Kagome was quite distracting. She was on him in an instant, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him in for a heated kiss. He groaned, pressing his hands against her back and pulling her flush against him. Her tongue delved into his mouth and he groaned in response. He could feel the corner of her mouth twitch just ever so slightly.

They kissed heatedly for a few moments before pulling away. Kouga instantly lowered himself enough to sink his teeth into the newly exposed flesh of her collarbone. Kagome cried out as he began to nip, lick, and suck harshly at a particular patch of skin. Her hands found purchase on his shoulder and her nails dug in, trying to ground herself and keep her legs from collapsing under her as his mouth began to travel down, leaving a trail of hickies.

When he reached the edge of her bra, he nibbled lightly on the skin there, his hand sliding up to unclasp it. Kagome knew she needed their position to change before he did so, because otherwise she’d be a goner. “K-Kouga... bed.. please..”

He didn’t say anything, a low rumble in his chest her only answer as he gave one last nip before pulling away. He guided her to the bed and gently pushed her down onto it before hovering over her. He unclasped her bra then and tossed it to the side. He looked her over for a moment, drinking her in and appreciating her beauty. He slowly brought a hand up and cupped her breast, giving it an experimental knead. Kagome released a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

He watched her face intently, gauging her reaction with each move he made. He brushed his thumb over her nipple and her head tilted back just a fraction as she released a small gasp. He continued to brush over it until it perked up. Once it did, he took it between his thumb and index finger and rolled it. Kagome let out a shaky moan and Kouga couldn’t help but smirk.

He continued to work that breast with his hand as he moved his mouth back to her chest. He trailed his way down from her collarbone to her other breast. He left a particularly nasty mark on top of her breast before taking her nipple into his mouth. She cried out as he lightly poked the nub with his fangs and then soothed it by swirling his tongue around it. Before too long, he switched sides, doing the same process as last time. Kagome felt like she was going to die. Her mind was turned to mush and she was putty in his hands, gladly so.

He soon left her breasts and traveled down further. He trailed soft kisses down her stomach, nipping lightly every now and then as his hands grasped her waist. His mouth soon reached the edge of her panties and his eyes shifted to look at her. Her breathing was heavy and her cheeks were flushed a delicious shade of red. He couldn’t help but grin and feel pride at the state he was leaving her in.

Kouga’s hands gripped her hips, holding her in place as he pressed his mouth to her clothed pussy, where he gave a small suck to her clit. Kagome cried out, her hips trying to buck up, but he pinned them down. He then dragged his tongue up along her covered slit, teasing her and teasing himself with the taste of her. Her scent was strong and it was invading his sense, making it hard for him to think, but he managed to push through, albeit with great difficulty.

He continued to tease her with licks and small sucks before his thumb hooked into the band of her underwear. He pulled away from her, a disappointed whine coming from the miko before he began to slide her underwear off. He sat back on his heels for a moment, taking in the sight of her fully nude form. She was absolutely beautiful; porcelain skin marked up with reddish purple hickies, her cheeks red, lips kiss swollen, her hands trying to reach him as she grew impatient.

“Kouga.. please..” she whined.

He chuckled. “Sorry, I’ll get to it.”

Before she could respond, his hands were back on her hips, pinning her down once more as he settled between her thighs. A small sigh escaped her lips as she spread her legs further for him. Kouga chuckled and Kagome squirmed as his breath hit her exposed pussy. She was about to ask him to hurry on with it when he pressed his mouth to her and ran his tongue along her slit. She cried out, fisting the sheets below her as his tongue set to work.

He teased her at first, running his tongue along her entrance and giving small sucks to her clit, but before too long, he was merciful and he was soon pushing his tongue inside. Kagome cried out as her mind went blank. The only thing she knew in this moment was Kouga, his tongue, and how good it felt. He worked her into a frenzy, removing his tongue every now and again to lick and suck at her clit. At some point, her thighs were squeezing his head and she could feel herself coming closer and closer to the edge. Her hips kept wanting to buck, rise off the bed, but he held them down. Just as she felt she was about to go over the edge, he pulled away.

It took her a couple moments to for the fog to clear and for her to realize just what exactly happened. Once she did, her eyes snapped open and her eyebrows furrowed together. She looked up at Kouga, ready to yell at him and make him finish what he started. Just as she tried to sit up, he was pushing her back down by her shoulders, chuckling.

“Don’t laugh! Finish what you've started!”

He quirked a brow at that, an amused look on his face. “You want me to finish?”

“Yeah. You’re a gentleman, aren’t you?” she asked.

He laughed a bit more, shaking his head slightly. “I am, and don’t worry, I do intend to ‘finish what I started’. Just be patient.”

She pouted, and was about to argue more when her eyes caught his hand movements, and where exactly they were going.

His thumbs hooked into the waistband of his underwear, and Kagome watched with rapt attention. He couldn’t stop the grin that crossed his features as she slowly propped herself up on her elbows, her tongue sliding over her lips. He took his underwear off slowly, teasing her, and once it was fully off, he tossed it to the side.

She took him in and bit her lower lip. He was large. Not only was he long, but he was thick. Though that really shouldn’t be a surprise to her.. She knew she could handle a large dick, she’s taken some good dickings in the past, the only thing she was worried about was the one thing she couldn’t tear her eyes away from. His knot.

Now, she’s laid with several youkai with a manner of strange dicks. She’s dealt with ribbed, bumped, and hell, even one that was, to her surprise, two thin dicks that had been twined together and untwisted inside her and could function separately from each other. She thought it had just been some sort of corkscrew shape, and boy if she wasn’t pleasantly surprised. However, she had never come across a youkai with a knot before. So, understandably, she was a bit apprehensive. The knot itself wasn’t that large, just slightly thicker than his shaft, but she had a feeling that it could, and would, get larger than that. She licked her lips again, but this time as a nervous habit. Well.. she was sure she could handle it.

She moved to sit up further, but Kouga was quick to push her back down, an amused grin on his face. “Wha–”

“Shh. I’m a gentleman, remember?”

“And what does that have to do with me not sucking your dick?”

He faltered here, not really expecting this kind of answer from her. Gods.. having her mouth wrapped around his dick sounded fantastic, but he had a goal in mind. “Next time you can.”

“That doesn’t really answer my–” He cut her off by quickly leaning over and kissing her, softly and tenderly. She couldn’t help but instantly melt under his touch.

“Next time, I promise.” he whispered against her lips.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Trust me, you won’t have to.” He gave her a quick peck before pulling away from her slightly. “By the way, you wouldn’t happen to have any condoms, would you?”

She silently cursed herself. That was the one thing she had forgotten. She had been so caught up in her appearance she forgot the most important thing. Well.. she was on the pill and she had just recently had her period, so she should be good. “I don’t, but I’m on the pill so we should be fine.”

He nodded at that. With that out of the way, he positioned himself at her entrance, then looked up at her. Just to make sure. She bucked her hips in response, making them both groan at the feeling, though Kouga couldn’t help but chuckle. He got the message.

He braced himself above her and Kagome’s breath caught in her throat. He then slid in, slowly and carefully. They moaned, Kagome’s thighs shaking slightly. He continued to move slowly until he was almost fully inside her, the only thing left out was his knot. They stayed still for a couple moments, giving each other time to adjust.

Once Kagome was ready for him to continue, she let him know by bucking her hips. He chuckled. “You’re so eager..”

“Can you blame me?” she asked, somehow managing a smirk.

“No, not really.”

He pressed a kiss to her cheek as he slowly pulled out, leaving only the tip in, and then slammed back into her. Kagome swore she saw stares. Her breath caught in her throat and before she could fully react he was doing it again, and again, and again.

He kept the pace slow at first, peppering her face with kisses as he rammed into her. His slow pace didn’t last for long, as they were both needy and teetering too close to the edge. Kagome cried out, mainly a garbled mess that was akin to a verbal key smash, and sometimes his name. Any time she managed to get his name out, he would growl in response and slam into her particularly hard.

After a certain point, he pulled out completely, groaning as he did so. Kagome’s mind had just begun to clear and form coherent thought as he turned her over, raising her ass in the air and positioning himself behind her. He gave her a moment to collect and prepare herself, watching as she moved her pillows to help prop herself up on her elbows and forearms. Once she was ready, she rocked her hips up against him.

His hands were on her hips, holding her still as he slowly sank his length back into her heat. They moaned in tandem and took a couple seconds to get used to the feeling once again. Somehow he was reaching even deeper now, and Kagome had a hard time thinking. She let out a shaky breath, steadying herself before rocking against him, letting him know she was ready.

Kouga took a moment to steady himself before he pulled back and slammed back in. If she thought she saw stars before, she was certainly seeing them now, without a doubt. Kagome cried out, and continued to do so as he rammed into her. He was soon bending over her, hands palming her stomach, sliding up to her breasts as his mouth left marks on her back. His mouth moved up her back as his thrusts became more shallow.

Their breathing was ragged, and they were both so close to the edge. Kouga’s fangs were aching, wanting to sink into the flesh of her neck, mark her, claim her, mate her. But he couldn’t, not yet. But to keep himself in check, he would need to stay away from her neck. So he continued to bite along her back, enjoy the sounds she made. His knot continued to try and push in, and with each thrust, it grew closer to being able to slip in. Fuck, he should probably ask before he just up and knotted her... He gave the spot he was working on on her shoulder one last bite before he pulled his mouth away.

“K-Kagome..”

“Hmmmmmmmmm?”

“Can I... f-fuck.... Would– Do you.. wan.. want me to.. to knot–”

“I... I dooooon’t ca– care. Do.. Just...” She buried her face in the pillow as she moaned, one of her hands gripping the sheets below her. “Just dooooo ittt...” she finally managed to get out.

“Alright..” And with that, he didn’t hold back. He picked up his rhythm, one of his hands leaving her breasts and delving between her thighs. He started to rub her clit, making her cry out, though her moans were now muffled by her pillow. With one last thrust, his knot pushed in and he came, Kagome quickly following suit. Kouga made a couple shallow thrusts, not really able to do much seeing as he was now anchored inside her. They stayed there for a couple moments, Kouga pressed against her back, Kagome’s face buried in her pillow, both out of breath and collecting themselves and their ability to think.

Kagome finally turned her head to the side, her breath evening out. Oh fuck.. she still had makeup on... she should probably go remove that... She grumbled a bit before being able to form her thoughts into words. “Kouga.. can you move? I gotta.. get makeup off.”

He pressed a kiss between her shoulder blades before he answered. “Sorry, can’t move.”

“Why not?”

“That’s why.” he said, grinning at his own joke of using the play on words. However, Kagome didn’t catch on, and at her confused grumble, he chuckled a bit. “My knot. We’re gonna be stuck together for a bit.”

“How long is ‘a bit’?”

“About 15 minutes or so.”

Her eyes widened. “What?”

“Hey, could be worse. We could be here for the full 30 if I was in my true form.”

“Oh gods...”

Kouga simply laughed and Kagome rolled her eyes. “Better make ourselves comfortable.” he teased.

It took some maneuvering, but soon, they were both laying down on the bed and underneath the covers. Their legs were tangled together and Kouga had his arms wrapped around her midsection. He peppered her shoulder with soft kisses, soothing the marks he had left on her skin. Even though she still wasn’t sure what to think about the whole knotting situation, she had to admit that the cuddling was nice. Sure, they didn’t really have any other choice but to cuddle, however she knew deep down that they would’ve ended up like this at the end of the night regardless. It was nice, soothing, relaxing, and most definitely welcomed.

She snuggled further into him. “Hey, if I fall asleep, will you wake me up so I can go take my makeup off?” she asked.

“Yeah, of course.” he replied, pressing a kiss behind her ear. She giggled a bit and turned her head around, enough for him to press a couple kisses to her cheek before pressing a final one to her lips. She grinned, thoroughly enjoying the attention before turning her head back and settling into Kouga’s warmth.

[dianasdabbles-blog]

The Secrets He Kept

Request: Nope, i have been saving it for a while and every now and then go back to try and add to it but i really like it and if you want a second part just let me know and i’ll work on it.

Word Count: 2,056

Parting with a kiss, I leave through one of the back exits to join the line of fans queuing out the front. By the time I got to the front, I knew I wouldn’t be on the floor, which was a bonus, but I was close enough to be in the first row of standing. Hearing the girls getting excited and some behind trying to squish the line to get in quicker, I knew the doors had opened. Excitement was an understatement. I had never been to a meet and greet let alone the Shawn Mendes experience.

Shawn and I had ran into each just over a year ago last time he was in Sydney. It was a bold move on my part, as it didn’t register who he was at the time and I asked if we could meet up again he told me he wasn’t around much longer so I gave him my number. A few phone calls and facetimes later the penny dropped. I was mortified of what I had done, to how I treated him – not that it was bad, it was just extremely bold. When questioned why he never told me who he was, he was a little taken back but asked if it changed anything. I didn’t hesitate when I said no but made him promise there’d be no more secrets between us.

Now we’ve been together about 8 months, I have seen him perform backstage but when he told me he has prepared to take me around on the Australian tour I wanted to experience it all. So here we are sneaking around the media and fans now risking it all by leaving through an exit door. I just hope that if someone sees they don’t see me again tonight.

They direct us where to sit and stand while Shawn takes his sweet time. The girls in the front row start to scream, which puts the rest of us at hault mid conversation just in time to see Shawn enter. We’re silenced and warned about camera flashes and lights on our phones then teacher Shawn instructs us to be nice and quiet.

I don’t think I have ever been around that many giggling girls in my life. I’m not one for emotion or public display and I slowly become embarrassed for these girls but anxious for Shawn. A girl makes a comment about him leaving the toilet seat up which I preached her in my head but cursed him as he said if someone else was there he’d put it down because he doesn’t. Another asks how he puts his shirt on, another on advise. I was enjoying myself and could understand why people come to these.

One asked if he ever finished reading his book which I know he never did as he cannot sit still long enough to ever get into a book but I on the other hand could sit for days. He continues telling them he could never finish it as he sucks at it but continues on to make it a conversation as he smirks in my direction then mentions quote “my friend loves a good book she could read for days which sucks because sometimes sh- I can’t get in contact with them” quote.

In that moment I feel as though my jaw is slack and everyone is looking at me. Like everyone knows and we are now screwed. Shawn keeps looking at me every so often as I try my best to remain calm. All I can do is hope that no one picked up on it.

With the next few questions he makes more conversation and asks them more questions prolonging the upcoming questions. Joking with the crowd and making them laugh, telling them about the kissing scenes in the TNHMB music video which I do feel a twinge of jealousy as he speaks about it. He even brings Jeff into the Q&A with the “certain” joke.

From there we are lead through back into the main part of the building where you can buy food and merch, I decide to snack out as tonight is going to be full of dancing. As the arena fills up and the lights darken I plant myself near the centre of the floor space right next to the piano – I know where to stand after seeing the hours of rehersing. The opening starts and I mumble the playback track of his achievements to myself. First TNHMB which is a party starter, then my all time favourite Lights On. The girls holding onto everything he says in between and all I can think is how did I get so lucky.

Giving in and acting like a crazy person, singing at the top of my lungs when Stitches hit. No matter how old the song is or how old I am it’ll always be a banger. By the end of tonight I think I’ll definitely be searching for a voice. There’s a longer pause in the show where Shawn makes a dash while catching his breath to the centre stage. As he comes up, the girls scream and stick their arms out hoping he’ll touch them. I am pushed and slightly jumped on as more try and squeeze their way to the front when our eyes lock, in that moment I become one of them. My arm goes out and I scream along with the rest of the girls as he passes by reaching down to the girls around me.

When he forgets the notes, my heart aches in a good way. He apologises and has a little chuckle which makes the smile on my face grow. I want nothing more in this moment but to hold him and tell him how proud I am. Shawn plays his go to song, which I admit do know cause who doesn’t stalk their boyfriends when they find out they are the number 1 hearthrob? And in this moment he couldn’t look any more perfect.

Next comes Roses which always makes me emotional. This is the one where he walks around to the girls and holds their hands. Shawn said he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t do it to me but he did, of course he did. And it was honest and perfect, if there hadn’t had been big scary security guards I would have jumped the barrier.

A few more songs later, there is another pause as he grabs a drink of water and says quote “I only have a few stops in Australia and I need to go home remembering Sydney was the loudest one” quote. And with that statement I couldn’t focus for the rest concert with my mind going places it shouldn’t be in public.

The wait after the concert was painful not only did I have to wait 30minutes for everyone to clear the stadium I had to wait another 15 for people to move somewhat away from the front before I could make my way around the back to the same door. The one problem I did not consider is that other girls may be waiting for him to come out, as I turn to leave one girl recognises me from the meet and greet,

“Hey are you waiting for Shawn too?”

“Uh yea, I was going to but uh.. I think I’ll just head off”

“Oh cool, see ya round!”

Walking back round I double check that I’m far enough away from people, I pull my phone out to call Shawn and tell him my dilemma to which he tells me to come back inside and put him on the phone to every security guard to which I do and it works. He directs me through the stadium and meets me outside his door which some how my lips land on his, we flip so I am now against the wall as one of his hands fiddle with my shirt pulling it out and slipping under and around my waist as the other finds the door to his room.

“What.. What’s –this –for?” He gets out in between breaths, as i’m now straddling him on the lounge as my hairs run through his curls,

“You said tonight something about you need to go home remembering why we are the loudest, I just thought I’d help out” To this he smirks, taking my hand.

“Not here”

We find Andrew ASAP to no surprise he understands, more then likely with the help of our hair and my half untucked shirt we didn’t bother to fix ourselves as he sends us on our way back to the hotel.

The next morning, I say morning but more like midday. I wake before Shawn in a bliss, grabbing his shirt from the floor going out to make two cups of coffee and return back to bed placing one on his bedside and holding onto mine as I stroke his hair. Grabbing my phone to check my social medias, not much has happened on my end until i get a message from Andrew asking if we are both awake I respond no just me but alarm bells are going off in my head. Next thing I know there is a knock on the door and I am scrambling to put my jeans on, tucking in Shawn’s shirt and making my hair half decent as I open the door Andrew shakes his head.

“I don’t know why you’re trying to make yourself presentable now, I know what happened last night.” He says with a smirk “But have you seen any social media this morning?”

“Look I am sorry that you had to be an accomplice in lasts nights antics” I look at my feet slightly embarrassed of the way I acted last night as all memories come back in full force, my face tingling red “But uh.. yea I checked mine not long ago. Has something happened?”

“Just your antics all of yesterday really. Do any of these pictures look familiar?” Andrew passes me his phone as I swipe through photos of me sneaking out the back door, a red circle around myself in his meet and greet, there is a video of Shawn singing holding my hand in Roses, to me going behind the stadium and handing my phone to a security guard once the concert is over, and last but not least photos of Shawn and I making out in the car and heading into the hotel. In this moment I honestly feel as though I could pass out, my head hearts and I’m ready to burst into tears.

“(y/n), (y/n),” Andrew is lightly shaking my should, “It’s okay, it will be alright.“

“Andrew, this is not okay. Have I ruined his career? What is going to happen now! This was not meant to happen! Oh my goodness, how could I be this stupid!”

“Okay right now, you’re lucky Shawn is a heavy sleeper” Trying to ease the mood but just earns a glare from me to which he holds his hands up in surrender, “But I am going to give you two some space AND before you say anything you are going to handle this perfectly, Shawn is going to want to hear this from you. We knew this was going to happen sooner or later, it just came sooner. Give me a text when he knows, Okay?” I nod.

Tossing my phone between my hands in bed, Shawn wakes only a few minutes after Andrew leaves giving me no time to plan anything. Sitting up he leans in for a kiss I return half heartedly which catches him as soon as his lips leave mine. I sigh and have no way out of this.

Not even wanting to make eye contact with the boy. I stutter my way through sentences, mumbling and speaking under my breath as I manage to get out what Andrew had showed me. Unfortunately for me, Shawn has experienced many of my awkward talks and understood every word even if he had to lean a little closer to hear it. Running a hand through his hair and squeezing my thigh with the other we sit in silence for a couple of minutes realising Shawn isn’t going to be saying anything soon, I reach for my phone sending Andrew a message.

[anyorderofus]

Too clever to be happy

Hello, and a very HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to all the fathers out there, reading this blog. If you’ve never made a person, HAPPY SUNDAY to you!

This week’s blog has been brought to you by the hottest day of the year. Who knows what next week’s blog will be brought to you by.  Either way it’ll be entitled: I prefer the film.

See you then!

Nico & Alexandra|Alexandra & Nico

NICO

What an appropriate title! For all the odd stuff we wrote down in the list of upcoming blogs this has to be by far the most forward sighted. Imagine if this time last year we knew the world would be in the state it’s in now. It’s just been one firm, dry, kick in the soft parts after another and at a seemingly raising tempo and occurrence it doesn’t feel as if it’s slowing down any time soon.

To just go on about it all would just add to the seething, ill informed, scared, sickly broth that is every form of social media right now so let’s take a look together at how even in this state of ever terrifying times we can try and keep our heads on the positive side (even if we’re smart enough to know better).

A big part of intelligence is understanding. Understanding the world around us based on fact and historical evidence. We can dig all day into the how, why and when the next terrible thing is going to happen by sifting through past events until we find one that fits our situation, that’d be easy, but then we’d have to remember that we consider ourselves ‘clever’, so that isn’t going to help is it? I figure the best thing to do, as tough as the journey there is to swallow, is accept the good, decent people of planet Earth have managed to over throw evil a whole bunch of times. From slavery to Nazis to anything in between and off the scale, after all the most evil happenings you can imagine have been done repeatedly over and over again until the very last shred of hope is caught in an updraft heading seaward to be lost forever, enough people have clubbed together to grab it and pull it back until that single thread has grown into an almighty continent spanning shroud of hope that can be used to smother the forces of evil. Or at least wrap it round them and hit them with sticks and rocks etc. until they realise they were jerks or crawl off to regroup and try the same shit again one hundred years later. All the good folks have to do is be ready for them.

Natural disasters we can’t stop.

And if the kind of thing you worry about is death or illness or all the rest of it, try and remember we’ve all got to go sometime, and we’re all going to get it eventually, so try and be smart enough to know the parts of life you want to be paying attention to are the parts where it’s going at least ok. Come on. Think about it. We’ll be alright, we’re clever people.

ALEXANDRA

They think she is silly, too stupid but that she smiles anyway because she doesn’t know it. She’s living in a dream world and doesn’t know that that is not normal or a good way to be. She knows what they think and she feels a bit sorry for them. She’s proud of her friends and pleased for their A and Bs but feels anxious when they cry at getting a C. She gets over it in an hour though, because she’s currently reading a good book. She’s not the numpty they think she is, not going through a phase. She excels in English and does very well in some other subjects too but they worry she doesn’t understand the importance of chemical compounds and photosynthesis etc. and she hasn’t the heart to tell them it’s not that she doesn’t, it’s just that she doesn’t really care. She wants to tell stories, not know why she’d be better off doing something else. She wants to learn how, not be told why not. She’s known as a joker, the nutty, barmy one, the class clown and drama queen. So, she plays up to it. And then gets told to calm down and carry on but she can’t because she never got told how and to be honest, didn’t ask to be told. What they have in grades, X = Ys and a knowledge of numbers, facts and exams, she makes up for in imagination and mind boggling nonsense, plays and ideas. She’s someone else every day, if she wants to be and actually…she doesn’t even see them so much anymore. They couldn’t keep up with her jumping from one to the other and eventually, just recently, she’s stopped slowing down and running back. She’ll always be there, she hopes they will be too but just in case just so they know: I’m doing OK guys. 

It’s hard sometimes and my finances waver at times but some of the time, most of the time, it’s great. I’ve been paid to project what’s inside my head, to tell stories, sometimes even my own, and I even got another degree. Do I wish I’d listened to the numbers more? Sure; it’d be handy for budgeting. Do I wish I knew more about the whys and mostly wherefores of geography? Yeah, sometimes. But generally, it’s better now. I’m happier than I ever was at school at least. Sometimes. And I hate to sound conceited but…I can be pretty clever too.

[celestialallstars]

Episode #6: “Can i PLEASE get a blindside.” - Jared

ok so basically the game has been sooo quiet and ive like.  felt dead. idk. i had a breakdown last night bc of it and i cried on my couch (KNOW THERE WAS A LOT MORE THAN THIS LKSDJGKLDSGLS I WOULDNT CRY PURELY BC OF THAT) but yaaa and now im better but like the entire day i was throwing up in class (or like feeling anxious im exaggerating sorry) about going home.

i didnt want mo out but with that being said i didnt want anyone out?? after i mentioned to him that stephen/mo were targeting each other, rhys came to me with the idea that like him jared chloe and i should make a chat, and i was down for that bc it would secure my positioning and like ALSGKSDG who'd flip on an alliance THIS early.. right?? right..

chloe was really not talkative with me. stephen/jared were active so i appreciate that immensely. im just thrown off. i dont really know who i can or cant trust.

OK ALSO SIDE NOTE CHRIS SENT ME [IM NOT EXAGGERATING] 55+ MSGS SPILLING TEA ABOUT HOW THE TUATHA HAD AN OG ALLIANCE WITH EVERYONE BUT MITCH + MAYNOR - which i knew about but LASKGLDKS AHHHH. and he leaked that stephen wanted kori/bryce targeted and i leaked that to bryce to further stephens target. IM JUST SO MESSY LOL

also i kind of predicted a swap likeee omfg. and i dont know how i feel. i kind of felt safe on my tribe??? but like.. oh no. anyway, my tribe isnt super dominant in challenges or anything (compared 2 the other tribe who has bryce/stephen/drew), but i think we can win a lipsync since we have a woman, gay men, and a metrosexual male who has an outgoing personality (and i mean that in the nicest way obviously). IDK I HOPE WE WIN BC THAT TRIBAL WAS HORRIFIC AND I LOVE MO SO MUCH AND AHH.

ill probs give a video soon in more depth with what chris said. yalls deserve it.. oops period.

I HOPE YALL CAN FORGIVE ME. im eating hotdog. bye bye love u all.

Wow I like the whole tribe! Alyssa is probably my front runner of talking and honestly she's great! I am in her spell ahhhh but hey JARED is here too woo! I think at least with Mitch and Zach too I'll be safe but I'll see! This challenge could either go really well or really badly for us but I'm excited to do anything creativity!!

I absolutly love my tribe at the moment, i'm getting along well with alot of them except Kori who i haven't spoken to much at all but im confident in our abilities to win! Jared is talking a little bit about wanting the game to pick up a little bit and i agree to some extent however blindsiding someone just for the sake of a blindside isn't smart gameplay so im just gonna lay low nd continue making those strong bonds here there and everywhere to hopfully come out on top should we end up at tribal

Can i PLEASE get a blindside

________________________________________________________________

hi it's 6 am but rhys fucking filmed vertically so if we lose he automatically has my vote

I feel good but also scared. I dont think I'll do as good of a job as I hope, but it also is turning out decently so far. My biggest concern is time. With having work tomorrow, I can only do the editing on my lunch break of 90 minutes, then whenever i get home which probably wont be until 6, given the upload time that leaves me with about 3 hours in total. Hopefully I'll be able to work with Rhys and Jack's stuff, as i think it'll be easier for me to do it then. Regardless, I'm gonna be a zombie but LOL this is the second Wednesday in a row I stayed up late except this is not for school and instead of 3 hours, ima get 2 hours of sleep haha that is so sad and funny and heebee jeebee zoinks, alright goodnight

Two things: 1) there's really nothing quite like making a fool of yourself multiple times in a single org, just to be immune for one round. 2) i am horrible at looking for idols

So Matt just told me he thinks we’re gonna have a double tribal right before merge which is like ew I hate that throw it out please, speaking of throwing out uh Kori can go because he’s wearing on my nerves like yes we’re gonna get things done on time calm down please and thanks.

these people are actually delulu if they think that video is winning. no fucking way we are winning. time to go to tribal!

So the swap has happened, and I get what is almost probably my worst case scenario player-wise. All of my close allies, with the exception of Kori, are currently on Cyrena. Meaning that winning immunity isn't even really good, since it puts them in danger.

I think there's a way to make this bad situation good though. Getting to finally work with Michael, Matt, Loris, and Drew can actually be a blessing in disguise. If I get on their good sides now, they might clue me into their plans once merge rolls around. That's the hope, anyway. For now my goal is just to survive being swapped with a bunch of people I've barely spoke to!

The past 24 hours have been major toughie for me. Staying up late and then trying to manage editing a video, work, and time constraints, and I won't lie, its been exhausting, but I didn't want to let my tribe down, or anyone down I guess. A little ways through, I kinda felt pretty defeated and then learning at last minute it was due an hour before I predicted made me panic A LOT internally, but it does seem like the tribe likes it so if we do lose and if they do vote me out, I can look back at this and feel like I did something right.

Well a lots happened and to be honest at times life and this game move too quick for me to even remember if I've mentioned it. We swapped, and I'm trying to just keep myself afloat however I can.

The challenge was overly stressful and I have no idea if we'll pull it out. Editing has been so stressful and I've found new appreciation for the people that do it. I just hope whatever I whip together will just be enough so that I can breathe and really take stalk of my new situation.

So, I haven't been around a whole bunch recently. However I'm glad we didn't go to tribal, that could've been  a reason if my name came up. So I'm glad I have time to more cement my bonds on this tribe and keep my name out of peoples mouths.

We JUST WON IMMUNITY WOOHOO. I was kind of nervous with a music challenge considering the only other one I did previously I did not do the greatest in :P. Both videos were amazing and im so glad Eve and Jones's mom liked ours significantly greater than the other one! As far as my position is concerned, I am reunited with Jared and our relationship is still strong I think so that's good. Stephen I am HOPING will be ok by just latching on to Kori at least for premerge. Those two are still the ones I trust the most, but I also like Alyssa Chris and Zach. I WISH i could connect more with jack, but i feel like every time we play together it gets more difficult to hold a conversation, so that's a yikes. Jared myself and stephen are diligently working on the idol search, but it's likely already found. I'm pretty sure there are too many components for someone to just find it by themselves

WELL. Im a target tonight! God we really do love that for me. We really do. Kori, eat my fucking ass. You leave me on read all the time. And then you have the NERVE. THE ACTUAL NERVE. to be like "omg stop slipping in my dm's!" Boo if you didn't leave me on read constantly then maybe i would actually want to speak to you! an actual moron. And then STEPHEN HAS THE FUCKING AUDACITY to me like "ya lol i'll be at tribal i'll make the decision between you and Kori at tribal!". BOI. THAT IS NOT HOW YOU GET TRUST IN SOMEONE. Its fucking ridiculous. Thank god Michael is in my corner, hopefully drew and bryce too. I am NOT getting 15th right now, no way. I am BETTER than this. i am going to make it work, tim gunn style. maybe its time to break the fajitas and channel their energy once again

Why do I go on the initiative literally ever? I'm clearly bad at it, I wasn't even remotely thinking things through and I SHOULD have let Stephen or someone else suggest someone but no I had to be mildly greedy and wanna send home Matt whom I barely DM.

I already flopped editing the video, and now here I am flopping the social/stategy game that I love playing supposedly.

Of course I tried reaching out to Michael and Drew FOOLISHLY because I wanted to build trust and maybe work with them. So naturally Michael tells Matt because ofc they'd be close as would Drew probably since he and Michael have been together since Day 1. As it stands I'm stuck praying Loris is gonna vote with me and it just sucks because I'm so bad at this game.

I'm trying to keep a cool head right now because there's still time. Stephen and I are trying to work logistics, see if we need to switch the vote to say Michael in case of an idol, but I'm not sure Loris/Bryce would be on board for that.

There's a pretty good chance that I'm definitely dead. But I'ma fight to the bitter end!

Today I learned from Stephen that Kori is in some dangerous water. He I guess said Matt's name to Michael who told Matt and now them and Drew are voting Kori. However Bryce and Stephen and perhaps Loris are all voting Matt. Now this is good if it works because honestly that group having to endure their numbers dwindling is good for my game. It only leaves Jack and Alyssa but I think we better be careful because I can see both of them slipping through the inevitable war zone that is gonna be happening.

Today's been a pretty informative day for me. After losing the immunity challenge by a hair, I was worried because I didn't think I had bonded very well with my current tribe through One World, luckily for me, that doesn't seem to be their biggest concern at the moment.

During the initial stages of the vote, I talked to Kori and the two of us decided Matt would be the easiest target to take out. I was leaning towards voting Matt because we hadn't talked very much, so hearing Kori was on board right away simplified things for sure. Bryce and Loris both seem to be on board with it too so I shouldn't have anything to worry about at this point.

In the morning, things got a whole lot more complicated. Matt found out he was the target through Michael, and began his campaign to get Kori out instead of himself. I'm not entirely sure why Michael decided to do this, but it doesn't make much of a difference at this point. Matt campaigned to me, and I sorta pretended to be on the fence. I was listening to what he said, but Kori is realistically one of my closest allies, there's no way I'm voting him out to side with people I had just met.

Once campaign season got under way, I had a conversation with Chris. Chris tells me that on original Orfeo, him, Loris, and Zach believed there was an alliance of Chloe/Sharky/Drew/Michael formed. This explains not only why Sharky was seen as an easy boot on swap-Tuatha, but also why Michael wants to keep Matt instead of Kori. With Chloe re-joining after tribal, him/Drew/Chloe/Matt would form a tight majority. Without Matt, they're a minority.

I proposed an idea to switch the vote from Matt to Michael or Drew. I said it was because I was worried about an idol, but this alliance is the real reason I wanted to do it. However, Kori, Loris, and Bryce are comfortable with the status quo and since it's not my neck on the line I didn't feel the need to push too hard.

Me, Kori, and Bryce now also have an alliance with Loris, which is cool? I haven't gotten very close with Loris yet but he seems like a smart player tied to Chris and Zach which spells good things for us working together in the future. Assuming I survive this vote and have a future, of course.

hi I think I might make it past final 15 that’s nice umm... I suggested an alliance of me Bryce Stephen Kori to counter the potential power of chloe Matt Michael and drew once chloe joins our tribe because my brain is massive. but now we’re like scared for idols . scary shih anyways like how r u I’m good.

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oh huh tribes r gonna be even again next round... so I have to make this conf by default just in case of a you know what wait no anna u said no more 24 hour challenges QUEEN ... thank god I can’t be bothered to delete this so she’s being SENT

Right now there's so many things running through my head with the introduction of Matts vote steal, because realistically i could convince him to give to me or i could keep him around as a potential shield. I don't want to do it to the guy but also a vote steal could shift the tides of the game in my favour later down the line. so it's a difficult decision and one id rather have more time to contemplate.

Wooo ok operation vote steal is a go and next round we’ll be swimming in green hopefully but with one world sis og tribe lines just ain’t it!

God im over this tribal. Like ugh these people really are under Kori's mist so like im probably going home. Do I think i might be able to survive? a small glimmer of hope says yes, but i'm not confident. God im just... so annoyed at this. Im clearly on the outs here and I just HOPE i can pull through i just am so scared. I know if i do leave though that I have fought my damn hardest to stay tonight. Im trying to think of the positives because its hard to do so because im being sad atm.. UGH. the fajitas really have failed me tonight, their light has dimmed and their guidance is no more. i am now with the darkness. we r one.

Oh my fucking god my heart is breaking. Matt is basically in such a deep hole he's going to go home, unless he plays an idol. And Alyssa has an idol. And she doesn't think it's smart to use it on him because Michael says he's just gonna go home next round. His social game hasn't been up to snuff and they're gonna boot him regardless, so she wants to keep us with power and let him go. And I agree with her. Which kills me. I'm usually able to just be a robot when it comes to this like yes I will make the smarter decision if it means I'll be emotionally torn, and this is such an instance. Luckily, it's not my idol to give up. Yes Alyssa says it's "our" idol but it's her call end of the day. I just... fuck. This is all stars man. And I'm actually starting to feel, for once.

Well it's about an hour before tribal and at least on it's surface it would seem Matt is going. I'm not confident though because any number of things COULD happen. I'm hoping there's no idol play, just because I feel like pre-merge just isn't a good look for me.

If Matt does pull something off, then kudos to him, and if it's me that'd make this my final confessional for the season. I've had such an amazing time playing and while I feel like I've been playing a lower key game on purpose I feel like I'm doing what I can to really come into my own. I hope the bonds I've made are gonna stick and that everything works out for us.

But if it doesn't I guess I'll have to find a way to be ok with that. This has been such a unique All-Stars experience so far, and I hope I can take what I've gotten from it and make myself better for it. (Also highkey hopefully this isn't my last confessional and I'm getting sentimental for no reason.)

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Kori is voted out 4-3.