#but it would be too self centred?
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michelle-ma-cherie · 2 months ago
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i think it is so telling that both Rafa and Roger wanted their last tournament to be a team event
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faaun · 5 months ago
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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faunandfloraas · 8 months ago
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okay but my fav little thing is how whenever Lee Know has a singing moment where it's largely just him up on the stage, you can tell he still gets really nervous about it but Seungmin's always off to the side smiling and amping him up, telling fans to sing along- like you can tell he's trying to boost his confidence and its so :((
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boyfridged · 1 year ago
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the essential reason for which the challengers from beyond are the best jason team up is that the editorial did not try to make jason the leader. which he shouldn’t be
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mariocki · 4 months ago
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Play for Today: Come the Revolution (BBC, 1977)
"You see, heavy irony is good, so long as it's so heavy we know it's irony."
"Right, we'll change it for Sunday."
"Medical inspection bit, solid fun. And the RSM bit, especially the wig joke: that's universal."
"Oh! We thought that was corny."
"No!"
"We couldn't think of anything else."
"Corny's very useful to us. It gets straight through to the people. They like corn, recognise it."
#play for today#come the revolution#single play#robin chapman#michael darlow#1977#bbc#richard o'callaghan#deborah fallender#john telfer#warwick evans#myrna stevens#colin bell#derek smith#vivian pickles#kenneth colley#roger avon#jumoke debayo#anne orwin#peter cartwright#biting satirical piece about an agitprop theatre group whose heads are turned by the prospect of success; Chapman had come up through Joan#Littlewood's Theatre Workshop‚ so presumably knew the intricacies and difficulties of budget theatre all too well. the depiction of the#theatre group‚ their leftist infighting and self contradictions‚ is sharp but not without some level of affection (or at least knowing#recognition). no such understanding for Pickles as a ghastly version of a celebrity radical: she's escorted most of the way to a viewing of#the play within a play by chauffeur driven rolls royce‚ only to get out‚ change out of her finery‚ and make the final bit of journey by#bicycle to maintain her socialist image. scenes like that may be just a little on the nose (as is‚ purposefully or not‚ the revue that's at#the centre of everything) but Chapman's script is undeniably very funny. he skewers just about everyone and everything with pointed barbs#or through the absurd myopia of his would be revolutionaries who sincerely (or not) believe a student play might usher in a new age of#armed resistance; but any real enmity is reserved for Pickles and Colley as the opportunist hypocrites whose attempts to mould the group to#a particular image are astoundingly (and quite predictably) self defeating.
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immortalsins · 6 months ago
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ough the way my friend in my house was insisting that it's best to go to a beach in another city along the coast (to celebrate another friend's birthday) but five of us could go in her car and one would have to take the (expensive, long) train alone (with beach stuff), instead of just going to the smaller but closer beach that we can all get to on the bus together. she stood there and said 'we'll get to the beach quicker in my car than all on the bus' ok five of us will. and the other will not. but that doesn't matter to her
#so they're at this beach now because i said i'll stay home and let everyone else take the spaces in the car#i didn't want to go anyway and i think i might look like a bit of an asshole#the way she looked at me last night and said. we still need to decide who's taking the train there.#right first off you did not tell me someone was going to have to take the train#and maybe i'm being paranoid but yeah in what world wouldn't you want that to be me#she doesn't give a shit fr#the way i get ignored until i'm talking to her about something she wants to listen to.......#i know she's not as close to me as she is with the other two friends going to the beach#and her and one friend have partners who would be in the car with them#leaving one spare seat between me and my other friend#who didn't even know of the train problem until i told her#its not a big deal but u look directly in my eyes and say we need to decide who's not travelling with us. who will have to take the bus to#the city centre then pay for a train ticket then get from the station to the beach then all the way back again.#we need to decide this because *i* don't want to take the bus to the alternative beach even if it means we all get to travel together.#she's my friend but to be blunt she's inconsiderate and self-centred#and too neurotypical to communicate clearly#so much of what she wants to say is implied#like unplugging the tumblr dryer and tightly folding up the cord behind it when she wants us to stop using it to save money#LMAO just talk to us. please#and if you want me to tag behind you on a train#just say that and i'll know
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theteaisaddictive · 7 months ago
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millennial navel-gazing once again, forgive me, but —
i’ve been on quite a few dates with this guy. he’s lovely, and i have a great time. but he’s kissed me twice now, and it’s been … fine? nothing groundbreaking, not bad per se, but i just don’t feel anything. is this a grin and bear it until i find something Actually wrong situation or is this a sign lmao
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jadeddays · 11 months ago
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okay but not joking, nothing has made me squint at the councilor/psychologists more than the fact theres been so many people i've known over the years who go to university for psychology and yet have truly and genuinely zero empathy or even just like general adolescent understanding of human behavior but they really think they're like. Emotional geniuses or something and I just can't help but to be like HMMMMMMM
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truthundressing · 1 year ago
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the pressure of having even the smallest amount of influence on a kids upbringing is crayzeeeee
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oncewild · 7 months ago
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my uncle c was one of the few given conscientious objector status after being drafted during the Viet Nam War, and I can tell you people were not good to him for doing it "the right way" either
because there is no right way to oppose the State in the eyes of people who choose to align themselves with it.
it sounds like a joke but literally so many of you would've been supportive of the vietnam invasion by america and would've accused draft dodgers and draft card burners of being divisive
#that second part though !!#re: the self-centered compassion - this is clearly seen in the different response to ukraine vs. palestine vs. the congo vs. ethiopia etc.#& even closer to home it's deeply connected to how to people see talk about and engage politically about the unhoused & migrants#how some addiction is acceptable and even celebrated while others are unforgivable and deserve punishment#how people think they deserve a vacation in hawai'i when it's a colonized nation whose people are begging you not to come#in general how the must vulnerable members of our society: children & unhoused & elderly & disabled people are not centred in our politics#how people talk about people incarcerated during and after incarceration#etc&etc&etc&#& in particular amongst LGBTQ+ people the reality is that we are disproportionately represented in many of those groups yet#there is a lack of solidarity in those struggles for liberation#so many people would rather align themselves with power because they don't truly believe that the State could turn its force on them next#the sweeping of camps - the tear gassing of protestors - the inhumane conditions at the border - the bombs being sent to kill Palestinians.#they don't believe that could happen to them and so it's fine. deep down they have the same reactionary beliefs as the conservatives do tha#the treatment is somehow deserved.#we should want liberation (and safety and life) for others even if we didn't benefit#but it's so fucking short sighted not to move with the understanding that all of our liberation is tied up together.#I will say I do not think it's an exclusively american thing but that it is perhaps most clear because of state power and how it is wielded#I add that caveat only because this is part of american exceptionalism too#all States are bad States
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villain-in-love · 9 months ago
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Out of all my ships, only Portia x Katerina and Jamil x Prefect will probably get married in the future. They will most likely quietly register the marriage for practical legal reasons, but then will end up throwing a ceremony only because their friends and family complained about wanting to celebrate.
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klara-rosa · 1 year ago
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therapy today again 👍🙃
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moondirti · 5 months ago
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MDNI. dubcon. objectification. degradation. humiliation. guys being gross. female reader. fingering. cunnilingus. pussy slapping. brief aftercare. an absurd amount of filth for something so short.
price helping you get over your fear of humiliation by inviting the guys over and prying your pussy open for them, half-slouched on his lap with your legs held up in the air :( they’re so mean about it, too. cooing condescending compliments, curling their nasty hands around your jaw to keep your head in place as they pet your most vulnerable places, like you’re the winning pup at a dog show and not a whole human—entitled to any boundary you set, regardless of how your husband feels.
they pay no heed to your protests, though. actually, the men avoid addressing you at all. rather, all their personal, invasive questions are directed to price, who answers them with his own self-satisfied grin.
‘keeps clenchin’ around nothing, desperate thing. hole this willing deserves to be gaped. how often d'you stuff her?’ depends on if she's been good.
‘fookin’ drooched, cap. does she taste as guid as she looks?’ mm, better. smells like nectar too. take a whiff, son. don’ wash my beard afterward on the occasion, jus to keep her under my nose.
‘think i can thaw a winter’s worth of ice with this cunt alone. heat’s practically radiating off ‘er. pathetic slut.’ y’should see how much worse it gets after a good beating, lieutenant. swells up, and damn well sears my palm.
and of course they take it upon themselves to test the validity of his answers. kyle works four fingers into you, then his thumb, stretching you open for his probing, angling your hips up to the light so that your insides are illuminated for his curious eye. if price didn’t have his rough hands anchored to the underside of your knees, you would have kicked his prized sergeant off.
embarrassment washes your neck in warmth, lashes droopy with fat tears. all your husband does to comfort you is place a scratchy kiss to your shoulder, soft hushes tickling your skin.
then, soap intercedes to shove his nose to your mons. he doesn’t just take a whiff — rather, he sucks in the sweet-sour tang your slick provides, testing it in both scent and taste. his hot tongue laves over where kyle’s fingers had been, incisors nibbling at the ripe bud of your clit. mortifying pleasure sinks low, sloshing in your belly’s bed. though you did not expect him to be, he isn’t modest about it. soap presses completely into your pussy, muzzle lacquered with wetness that rivals yours.
your whimpers devolve into moans. loud, a little unhinged. you’ve always played at dressing them up around price, worried that he’d turn away if your face screwed too tight, or your pleasure made itself known beyond what directly serves him. it’s exactly the habit that got you into this mess; and as you lose yourself to the scene, you can feel his delight blossoming against your back.
ghost scares you the most. he lets you have your orgasm, towering behind the man between your legs, but does not let him revel in it, yanking him back by his mohawk at the first twitch of your toes. in the fervour, you have hard time remembering what you should expect. especially when he doesn’t get to it immediately, wiping the gloss off your plush cunt. his callouses rash you, gritty, abrading the soft surface of your skin. it is only when you wince do his eyes crinkle in a manner cruel enough to evoke what’s to come.
but it’s too late to prime yourself. his hand flies back, coming back twice as fast to strike dead centre between your legs. it hurts. hurts so much more than it ever has before, your body unused to unrestrained strength. you scream, throat mangling around the rough cut of it, fighting wildly against price until you manage to escape his hold. immediately, instead of running away, you twist backwards, burying your face into his neck, calming yourself by taking deep breaths of his cologne. something heady — leather, tobacco, sandalwood — bridges the synapses in your brain, numbs the pain, if only a little.
“shhh, little one. you’re alright. it’s okay. doing so good for us.” he soothes, rubbing your sweaty back. the world narrows to just you and him, his men reduced to mere afterthoughts. to be dealt with later — though you doubt the conversation will be anywhere near reprimanding, more likely to end with a bottle of scotch split between four, approving slaps to the captain’s back, than it ever will in your defence.
“n-ne- never a-ga…”
“come, now. let’s not be brash, mm. i promised them a pump each. ‘n’ what kind of host would i be if i didn’t make good on that?”
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luveline · 7 months ago
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i have a request for roommate!spencer where he's just miserable that no one remembered his birthday at work but when he gets home his roommate just welcomes him with the most thoughtful gift and a warm hug PLEASE
thank you for requesting! <3 fem!reader
The lights are off. The air conditioning blows a shade too cold. Spencer shrugs off his jacket and acknowledges that, despite his awful, aching day, it’s nice to be home. 
The living room is clean where it hadn’t been this morning when he left. If he had to clean it by himself, he’d die. It must’ve taken a good hour or longer, even the floor shines sparkling clean. 
“Hey?” he asks into the open air, wondering where you are. 
“Spencer!” you yelp from the kitchen, “Hey, what took you so long? It’s almost seven!” 
He sighs to himself with a great dash of self-pity. “I know. Had to stay and finish something. You cleaned?” 
“I had to! Quick, come in here, I need your help with something.” 
He doesn’t want to help, he wants to lay down in bed. Spencer wonders how a normal person, a normal boy, would feel after a day like today. He wonders if Morgan would go home and lay in bed and cry. He wonders if it could ever be possible for everyone to forget Morgan’s birthday. 
Spencer hangs his jacket on the rack and puts his bag by the shoes. He’s tempted to go to bed and pretend he hasn’t heard you, but he supposes he shouldn’t. He’d sort of been hoping you’d text him happy birthday, and but that never happened. He doesn’t think anybody in the world besides his mom knows what day it is today, and Spencer had to remind her, so. 
“Spence,” you say, your smile of a calibre he’s never witnessed, standing in front of the kitchen island with your hands behind your back, “I hope you know I’ve been waiting two whole hours for you to get back. Actually, I’ve been waiting all day, but you can’t be blamed for working. Okay. Are you ready?” 
“Am I ready? What did you want help with?” 
You step to the side, grinning, the sleeves of your nice blouse like big, soft petals around your wrists and against your thighs. “Tada!” you say, guiding his attention to the silver platter on the countertop, a chocolate cake at centre stage and stuck with candles, flames aglow. “I rushed to light them when I heard the door,” you tell him, and he can hear your breathlessness now, your excitement for him evident. “A lot of candles, you’re getting old! Too old for chocolate sprinkle. I should’ve got you something sophisticated.” 
“You got me a cake?” 
“It’s your birthday,” you say happily. “Happy birthday, Spencer. I got you some presents, too, but the cake is the best, it’s from the Leaven. How fancy is that?” 
“Will you sing?” he asks. 
He doesn’t know why he asks. He’s mostly kidding, but you smile shyly and beckon him toward you. “I’ll sing. Come stand over here.” 
You sing him happy birthday, and he blows out his candles, only ten candles altogether but enough to feel like a kid as the heat kisses his chin. 
“Okay, and I got you this,” you say, finally pulling both hands from behind your back, seemingly eager to move the focus from your performance.
It’s a bundle about as thick as an average novel. He knows it’ll be books before he opens it, because you know him, and it’s in your nature to give him your everything. 
He doesn’t look at them. He takes the package blindly and shoves it onto the counter, wrapping you in a hug so hard it makes your back click. “I’m sorry,” he says, but he doesn’t let go. You don’t make him. “Sorry, I just– I–” You’re the only one who remembered. “Thank you for the cake.” 
You hug him not quite as hard, but tight. “Hey, it’s okay. I love you, you’re my best friend ever, you can pop me like a roll of dough any day of the week.” You might be exaggerating. Spencer doesn’t know. “But especially today, you know. You can have anything you want.” 
Spencer should let go. Anything you want, you’d said. He hugs you until he’s sure you’re sick of him, your thumb pressing little circles into his shoulder, his arms tucked up under your armpits and around your back. “Thanks,” you murmur.
“What?” he asks. “For what?” 
“For such a good hug. And being a great roommate. And for not complaining about the candles.” 
“The candles are perfect.” 
You lean back in his arms. “Thank you. Now what do you want first, cake or dinner?” 
Spencer really wants another hug. “Um. Cake?” 
“Good choice, handsome.”
His cheeks are pink by the time he gets a slice, but it’s the best birthday cake he’s ever had.
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evie-sturns · 15 days ago
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avoid - Matt Sturniolo
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summary: when matt calls you out on you pushing him away, until a huge fight breaks out between the two of you. a couple hours later you find him a mess, you have no choice but to make things right.
contains: angst, crying, arguing, yelling, fluff, comforting, swearing.
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you didn't realise you were doing it, you just were.
you had accidentally been avoiding him and pushing him away for the past couple of weeks, there wasn't a specific reason but you just were.
9:04pm
i'm laying on the couch alone, watching some random romcom as i stare at the screen.
the floorboards creak as i hear matt coming down the hallway, his footsteps are heavy as he approaches the living room.
he stands in the doorway, just observing me for a couple of seconds.
i hear his lips part as he gets ready to speak.
"y/n..?" he mutters softly, his voice is weak and shy.
i hum quietly as a response, not even diverting my gaze away from the bright screen. i hear matt huff slightly, a hint of annoyance in his tone.
"what- why- can you at least look at me when im speaking?" matt scoffs.
"what difference does it make?" i mumble back, still staring at the television.
"makes me think you might actually give a shit about me still." matt spits, his arms fold over his chest as he leans against the doorway,
"pfft." i dismiss him which only sets matt off even more.
"why are you acting like this? seriously!" matt exclaims,
"why are you being so sensitive." i groan,
i know i’m being annoying as shit, but i can’t help it, i’m just doing what i can to tick him off.
matt just stares at me, his breathing heavy as i see him visibly start fuming.
“you wanna know what it is? you’ve been acting like a total stranger for the past couple months and i’m done with it, i’m done with you.” matt raises his voice
i stand up off the couch, standing a couple feet away from matt as i lock eyes with him,
“me? i’ve been acting like i stranger?” i laugh dryly, not cause this situation is amusing, i’m just in shock.
“yes! you’ve been treating me like crap for the past too long!” matt keeps his voice raises,
i point my finger at his chest as i walk closer to him, “you cannot be serious? i literally do everything for you? i gave up so many things for more time with you!”
“i didn’t ASK you to do that! nobody did!” he scoffs loudly, grabbing my wrist and yanking it away from his chest.
“so it meant nothing to you? clearly you’re not appreciating my love for y-“
matt cuts me off,
“don’t even. you’re trying to make me feel bad when i’m literally trying to talk to you about my feelings!”
his eyes are narrow slits now, his fingers wrapped tightly around my wrist.
“let me go, now.” i mutter angrily,
“just listen to me!” he spits, moving his hand off of my wrist to grab my shoulders,
he jolts me back and forth harshly,
“i fucking hate this new attitude of yours, you’re the most self centred bitch ever!” matt shouts,
his voice booms through my living room, making my heart race quicken.
“would you just shut up- shut up!” i scream,
matt shoves me back gently, not enough to actually hurt me, just enough to get his point enough.
“you’re just- you’re just being ridiculous?” matt mutters, turning on his heels and walking away from me.
“i fucking hate you! i hope you get that through your thick head!” i snap
i didn’t mean it.
not at all.
i was so angry, just doing anything i could to be mean.
i hear matt’s heavy footsteps as he walks up the stairs, followed by the door slamming shut.
i flop down on the couch, running a hand through my hair as i pant.
i don’t know why i said any of that.
(35 minutes later)
i’ve just been thinking for the past half hour, about things i shouldn’t have said, things i shouldn’t of done.
i’ve held back all my emotions, feeling somewhat numb, except for the intense feeling of guilt gnawing away at me
the whole house has been eerily silent, usually it would be filled with matt and i’s endless giggles, but it’s not.
i stand up off the couch, my legs somewhat wobbly and my stomach churning with immense guilt.
i need to talk to him,
i drag my feet over to the bottom of the stairwell, knowing matt’s at the top of the stairs, locked away in our bedroom.
one step,
after another,
i slowly walk up the stairs.
my heart pounds against my rib cage, not knowing what matt would say, nor think, when he saw me in the doorway,
the same person that just screamed at him, making him believe that i hated him.
i reach his door, my hand stalling on the doorknob as i let out a soft sigh.
i couldn’t bring myself to just twist the doorknob, my hand was lightly shaking.
i swallow harshly before twisting the knob,
i stand in the doorway, looking around the dimly lit room.
there’s a discomforting feeling in the air, the room is cold.
my eyes search around the room until they land on matt.
he’s laying down on the bed, his back facing me and his still.
is he asleep?
“matt..?” i call out quietly, my voice breaking.
i walk over to the bed, my footsteps light.
suddenly i hear him,
a choked sob escapes him.
he’s crying?
i made him cry,
matt’s never cried infront of me before
and i’m the reason he now has.
“baby- are you crying-?” i whisper, reaching down and brushing his hair away from his eyes. he shivers at my touch, rolling over so his face is buried in the pillow.
i quickly crawl into bed beside him.
“please- please don’t cry-“ i mutter, my tone is panicked as i reach for him.
i sit up against the headboard as he stays buried in the pillows beside me, letting out strangled sobs.
“please look at me- darling i am so sorry, seriously.” i speak softly, my voice just loud enough so it’s audible to him
“matt, look at me please.” i say, my tone shaky as my voice cracks again.
he gently lifts his face from the pillows,
i take the opportunity to grab him, and tug him to sit up beside me.
i run my hands through his messy hair, he looks like a wreck, i feel terrible.
his eyes are swollen, his lips are a deep red and puffy and tears roll down his pale cheeks.
i grab his hands, “matt,” i sigh, “y-you’re killing me.”
matt stares down at the bed, “can- can i have a hug?” he whispers with a small hiccup.
“of course you can have a hug.” i sigh, wrapping my arms around him and pulling his body flush against mine.
i hold him close to me as i lay down on the bed, his head buried in my chest.
he sniffs shakily as he just cries, letting everything out.
i can still feel the undeniable tension in the air,
we’re both so angry at eachother still, it’s hard not to be after argument like that.
“hey, it’ll be okay- we’ll be okay.” i whisper, running my fingers through his locks of hair.
he lets out another sob against me, the noise making my heart break.
“you’re gonna make me cry.” i whisper with a small sigh, holding the back of his head gently.
“sorry.” he sniffles.
i hold him in my arms, whispering small words of affirmation while matt slowly starts to calm down.
i fight back the tears in my eyes as i attempt to stay strong for him.
“could we- talk maybe?” matt sniffs, wiping his eyes on my shirt before slowly lifting himself away from me.
he sits up on the headboard beside me, his legs outstretched and his hands still gently shaking.
“i think we need to.” i nod,
we both sit in silence for a second, waiting for one person to start.
“i know i was-“ i start but matt interrupts me,
“can i go first- i just want to tell you… how i’ve been feeling.” he rambles, his voice cracking.
i nod, “yeah..”
matt starts,
“i mean it when i say you’ve been stupidly distant for the past months, everytime i try to initiate anything with you, i just get brushed off, all of our conversations are shallow and i can’t tell if you actually care about me anymore!”
i stare at him as he rambles, trying to take all of his words to heart without getting mad again.
“i love you so much, and it’s hurting me to see you slowly drift away from me, i just want to know what i did wrong..?” he follows on, swallowing harshly,
i nod slightly, my lips parting to speak but no words coming out.
“i’m not trying to push you away matt.” i whisper,
he goes to speak but i interrupt, “i think it’s just a mix of everything, i’m just so exhausted with work after half my coworkers quit, i’ve been working long hours and i don’t mean to push you away, i swear.” i ramble on,
matt nods slightly with understanding, his hands fidgeting in his lap.
“i love you so much matt, and i’m trying to do better, i promise.” i finish,
matt just looks at me, before finally nodding.
he lets out a breath, one that i can tell took a weight off his shoulders.
“i’m sorry about the argument.” matt says,
i shake my head, “no i was being a pain on purpose, it could’ve been avoided if i acted differently.”
“i came at you with like a confronting tone- i should’ve approached it better.” he speaks,
“and i also shouldn’t have laid my hands on you, i didn’t mean for it to ever get physical..” matt whispers, his eyebrows furrowing as he breaks eye contact with me,
“it’s okay, i needed it-“ i try to defend his actions but he cuts me off,
“no- no that was a shitty thing for me to do, i feel super guilty about it.” he sighs,
the room goes silent, my heart aches as i try to apologise for that one thing i said, the 3 words that exited my mouth, which is now eating me alive.
“i’m sorry- for saying i hate you.. i- i don’t i swear, it wasn’t true at all i was just saying it to make you mad- i promise, i love you more than life itself.” i spit it out.
matt’s gaze softens,
my eyes well up with tears, “i shouldn’t have said that, i’m so sorry-“ i whisper out,
matt reaches his hands up to my face, his hands caressing my cheeks and his thumbs wipe my eyes quickly.
“no tears.” he gently coos,
“i’m so sorry- i fucked up so bad-“ i continue, but matt cuts me off.
he presses his lips to mine, his hands still firmly on the sides of my face.
he rolls us over so he’s ontop of me, keeping our lips connected.
i kiss back, distracting myself from the swirling thoughts in my head.
after a few moments he pulls away from my lips with a small ‘pop’.
a warm smile appears on his face as he peppers kisses all over my face.
i squirm with a giggle as his pecks kisses all over me, before pressing a final peck to my lips.
“we’ll always talk things out next time, i promise this won’t happen again.” he whispers comfortingly, his hands gently running through my hair.
i nod in agreement, “i love you.”
“love you too sweetie.” he whispers, before going back to peppering kisses all over my face.
-
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parfaitblogs · 4 months ago
Text
false god ❀ s. reid x reader
in which spencer (literally) cannot wait to show you how pretty he thinks you are tonight. 
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: smut (18+ mdni) tags: established relationship. public stuff. fingering. the team is there. readers wearing a skirt. he looooves you. they're at a bar. kinda soft dom!spence but like only if you squint. i have never posted smut before if im missing tags tell meee word count: 1.9k a/n: biting the bullet. posting smut (shudders). i have a singular roman empire and it is spencer reid plus fingering. i think about it sooo often. i do not think he would be the type to actually do this in public so yes it is self indulgent yes u can all call me crazy!! idgaf!!! i feel like the pacing in this is kinda weird pls forgive i never write smut :< if it's bad don't tell me let me be blissfully ignorant thank YEW!!
You were pretty sure there was something wrong with him (Spencer Reid). Something fundamentally broken in his brain, because he had not said a word to you that made sense from the second he picked you up from your apartment that evening. 
A lot of 'mhm's' and 'yeah's', which from maybe any other man would be normal, was not from him. He didn't speak incredibly eloquently, per se. But he did always respond to you in sentences. He liked to talk, so this lack of it was concerning you. 
He was seated next to you, in the booth Penelope Garcia had scouted out the second she stepped foot into the bar you were all meeting at. It was supposed to be a simple evening. Some drinks, some talking, winding down after the awful case you had just come back from. Spencer's lack of talking had you feeling anything but (simple). 
"Are you okay?" you had asked him when half the team stood up to go purchase the second round of drinks for everyone, and he wordlessly nodded his head, staring at the glass of water on the table in front of him, condensation sweating down to the wood. 
He wasn't. But there was only so much you could do for him when he was shutting down, especially in a public setting, so you nodded your own head, and settled into conversation with JJ instead. 
His hand found your thigh at some point during the conversation, and while you had flinched at its first contact, you didn't think much of it — he was never one for huge displays of affection, but he loved having his hands on you. An act as simple as a hand on your back had you swooning now, because you knew in his mind, he was thinking everything there was to possibly think about you. 
What you did think much of, was the way it crept higher as the team returned with drinks, and the noise from your booth got louder as conversations clashed with each other. 
Your head turned to the side, eyebrows furrowing, but he was still staring at his half-drank glass of water, with no real expression on his face. Frustratingly so.
He was never cruel, you learned. It was why his next action didn't occur until you had finished your sentence to JJ, as if to prevent what would've been your vocal chords tightening and lifting the octave of your voice as you spoke. 
It was such a featherlike touch it was hardly there, and you probably wouldn't have noticed it if he didn't do it again. And again. And again. One of his fingers brushing delicately over the centre of your underwear in a quick swiping motion, that had your head snapping to the side, meeting his jawline and his unwavering gaze with his glass of water. 
"Spencer," you muttered, and it was only then did he tilt his head down to look at you, raising an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"
His hand wrapped around the side of your inner thigh and tugged you across the seat, closer to him, his head ducking down to speak. 
"You're really pretty," he murmured, and your eyebrows only furrowed further at that.
"Thank you," you decided to say. "But what are you doing?"
"I just wanna touch you. Is that okay?"
You were silent for a moment. Maybe a moment too long, because he was already pulling his hand off your thigh, nodding his head.
"I mean, yes," you quickly say, catching his wrist before it could stray too far. "I was just confused where this was coming from."
"I really like the skirt," he explained, and your lips parted and an amused huff of air left them. Of course.
"Me too."
"Need you to wear it more often," he then said, his hand finding its way back between your thighs. "Please?"
"Maybe," you said, because it was all you could say, considering he was moving things along a little bit faster now that you had consented (not that you think you would've denied it). 
His ministrations were small enough that you could keep your voice steady as you kept conversation going with JJ, but firm enough that you squirmed every thirty seconds. He, on the other hand, was acting as though he was doing nothing to you, engaged in a conversation about the origins of pasta, with David Rossi. 
"I mean, in Greek mythology, it suggests that the Greek god Vulcan invented a device that made strings of dough. Which could be classified as the first spaghetti," he said, and at the same time, his fingers slipped beneath your underwear, brushing over your embarrassingly wet folds. 
You watched him stiffen, only because you had killed your conversation with JJ with one too many 'uh-huh's', and his jaw locked.
You were merely observant as he circled your clit a few times, until you were picking up your drink and forcing yourself to sip on it in order to keep your mouth busy — instead of releasing a moan that you really didn't want the team to hear. 
His gaze flicked to you for only half a second, and you met his eyes with an embarrassingly desperate look, and he laughed, oh so quietly, before a finger slipped into you. 
It was so gentle you thought you would go insane, and he rested the finger there for a few seconds as he responded to an argument Rossi had made about the Italian's inventing bolognese or whatever. You weren't really listening. 
The internal war you were dealing with; a pool of fiery butterflies in your stomach and the constant screaming to stay quiet in your brain was a stark contrast to Spencer's relaxed state. Because he had lazily began to move his finger like it was Sunday morning and he was easing you awake, and not in the middle of a Virginia bar with conversations amongst the team happening around you. 
You hated him for that.
Your hips squirmed when he crooked his finger, and your free hand bolted to his wrist, holding his hand still just before he could do it again, and elicit a sound from you.
The second Rossi had become immersed in something Morgan had said, Spencer's gaze was returning to you, an amused smile stretched across his lips. 
"You okay, honey?" he murmured, ducking his face down to kiss your cheek, heat blossoming on the spot. 
"I am trying so hard not to make a noise," you said, and he smiled, and you could feel it against your skin, wonderfully so.
"And you're doing an excellent job of it."
"You know, if you just took me to the bathroom..." you trailed off, eyes flickering up to him. 
"Not happening. Do you know how many germs are in public bathrooms?"
"Probably as many as the seat you're currently fingering me on," you hissed, voice hushed. 
At that, he pushed the heel of his hand against your clit, and you choked out a mewl. 
"I can stop," he said, though it didn't come out as a warning. You knew he only offered it because he would get the reaction of you violently shaking your head. "Right. No bathroom."
"No bathroom," you agreed with a flip of your stomach. 
His attention was captured by a conversation again, and with it, his finger began moving again. He was moving it with such an expertise that if this was any other situation you'd be impressed. Unfortunately, you were a little preoccupied with trying not to make a sound to appreciate how well he knew your body. 
Lazy pumps of his finger had you reeling and he was hardly doing anything, which was definitely going to be embarrassing to think about later on when he brings this up. Like you knew he would. 
Your A+ streak of making no noise was interrupted — quite rudely — by him slipping another finger in, the uncomfortable stretch that only lasted a second eliciting a whimper you couldn't keep to yourself. His eyebrows shot up and you were thankful Rossi had not been looking at him when his gaze rested on you again, and that the music in the bar was loud enough to drown out the sound to anyone who wasn't listening for it. 
"Too much?" he asked, but the second you felt him slowly pulling that second finger back, you were shaking your head, nails digging into the wrist that you still had captured. 
"No. It's not. Promise."
He smiled, and wordlessly nodded his head as he allowed the finger to straighten inside of you. Then, he moved them in and out of you a few times, achingly slowly. 
"Spencer," you breathed out, frustrated. 
"Yes, angel?"
"Can you please... just... go faster," you bit out, heat flushing your cheeks. Again.
"That would make it obvious," he answered, and you let out a huff of air. You knew he was right. "But," he added, upon detecting your annoyance. "I can do this."
He was once again proving how well he knew your body, because his thumb so easily found your clit, and circled it in a way that shot sparks up through your body.
"Yes you can," you agreed, nodding your head eagerly, and he breathed out a chuckle.
It seemed to be a lot easier to do that fast enough and hide what he was doing to you at the same time, because his fingers bent upwards at the same time he flicked his thumb over your clit, and whatever self-control you thought you had was swindled.
Your teeth bit down on the disintegrating paper straw, just to stop the moan that caught in the base of your throat from leaving it, and at that, he did it again. 
Spencer Reid was good at a lot of things. Making you come from the lightest of touches seemed to be joining that long list. Your head buried itself into the forearm of the hand that was touching you, at the same time he used it to push your hips back into the seat when they had begun to lift upwards. 
"You're making it obvious," he said to you, and what you're sure would've been a wonderfully eloquent argument died in your throat when he flicked your clit again. 
"I can't," you managed to get out, shaking your head as your fingers dug perhaps a little too hard into his wrist. 
"No?" he mused, though didn't stop his movements. You shook your head. He smiled. "So you want me to stop?"
"No."
"Mm, you're conflicting yourself, angel," he said, and you groaned for more than just how he was making you feel because you knew that. 
You bit down on his arm through his shirt to silence another moan when he pushed his fingers in a little harder than before, and if it hurt, he didn't say anything. You decided it must not have, because he repeated that movement. 
You were fighting against the need to squirm as your stomach tightened. And he must've figured out what was happening, because he masked your incandescent need to moan by using his opposite hand to entangle within your hair, bringing your face into his chest, acting as a hug to anyone who could see you. 
"There you go," he murmured, awfully gently, in your ear, as your walls fluttered around his fingers. 
You weren't sure if you were imagining your hips jerking until he was slipping his fingers out of you and pushing them down into the seat again.
He wiped his fingers against his pants, and your lips parted, eyes staring at him, dumbfounded. 
"What?" 
You shook your head, regaining a little self control as you settled down. "Nothing. I'm wearing this skirt again, though."
"Good."
your reblogs and replies are always appreciated dearly ♡
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