#but it was nice to know I’m not alone lol
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
No you guys don’t understand, I went into TMA completely blind with only a faint idea halfway through season 1 that Martin might develop vague feelings for Jon by the end of the series. That was it. I thought it was just going to be just Season 1 format for five seasons. (Puts on creepy clown makeup.)
Then I got to the Season 1 Q&A, and I was astonished by Jonny and Alex’s chemistry. No, really. I watch a lot of sapphic YouTube, and they finished each other’s sentences and laughed at each other’s jokes like long-term wives. They agreed on just about everything—especially for the more complex questions—and their disagreements were playful and adorable.
(I was like, if these two aren’t dating yet, then they should. They should do it for the gays.)
Well, I was completely and utterly wrong. (Jonny is married to Sasha Sienna, Georgie’s VA, and Alex is married to Hannah Brankin, Rosie’s VA. The former is actually quite narratively satisfying.) Both through personal experiences and disappointment in other media, I’ve been so primed to be skeptical of cishet-passing white men who write speculative fiction. And yet, Jonny and Alex turned out to be just two people who genuinely care about representing diverse identities, respecting the audience’s investments in the characters, and leaning into the plot’s natural progression instead of resisting. They’re just wholesome men. (Edit: And I’ve been informed Jonny and Sasha are both bi, which is awesome and adds some more context!)
ngl, it kind of reminded me there is still hope in the world.
They are incredible writers, and honestly? You probably should co-write with people that are as compatible with your vibe and wavelength as a romantic or queer-platonic partner would be.
#the magnus archives#tma#alexander j newall#jonathan sims#jonmartin#but if either of them ever came out as queer#i would a) be completely unsurprised and b) be the first to celebrate#love them so much#i learned so much about writing from them#that reddit user isn’t me btw#but it was nice to know I’m not alone lol#jmart#martin blackwood#jon sims#the archivist#john sims#jonny sims#alex j newall#alex newall#lgbtq+#achillean#mlm#gay#asexual#biromantic#bi#queer#ownvoices#speculative fiction#horror
280 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pretty proud of how far I’ve come this year
#I have struggled with crippling anxiety for a long time and this year I really wanted to overcome it and become more independent#like#I used to be absolutely terrified of leaving the house#things like driving and going places alone would make me have crazy panic attacks#but this year I’ve done a lot and I’ve overcome a lot and gained so much confidence#I’ve flown across the country twice this year#driven on some pretty intimidating roads like the highway and freeway#gone on solo bike rides for miles through the woods#eaten tons of new foods#I know those sorts of things might seem very simple and normal everyday things#but I have ocd and it can make my anxiety pretty bad#it can also make a lot of my fears rather irrational#likes like trying new foods and going new places are genuinely intimidating for me#bc it makes me feel like I’m going to die lol#but I’ve done ALOT of things I was scared to do#I’ve come along way#and it may seem like boring basic stuff to some people#but considering I couldn’t leave my house two years ago without panicking to the point of losing feeling in my hands and feet#I think I did pretty good lol#I’m starting to feel like a confident person again#I’m starting to feel like I can LIVE again#and it’s pretty nice#just wanted to write this out somewhere lol that’s all#maybe it will be helpful for anyone struggling in similar ways#to see that improvement is possible#lol anyways happy November#mae rambles
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
🌙🌵✨☀️ piñon tree smell after rain. u agree
#not to get on my soapbox again but since i’m clearly in my self-help book era (fiction save me…):#you should look into ACT (acceptance & commitment therapy) if CBT alone is failing you#or if you hate therapy and find it pointless. lol. like i used to#i feel so much lighter & so free these days!!!#that’s sagittarius and the milky way btw#~shot on my iphone~ cause i still need a new camera (have been saying this for years)#my trip has not been what i expected and that’s ok actually :-)#i put too much pressure on myself to do too many things and then i ended up feeling paralyzed and just doing nothing. but it was nice!!#i did write a lot actually but i don’t know if any of it is worth much!!! but i have ideas!!!#photos#colorado#believe it or not i just went on an insane tangent and deleted like 15 additional tags from this post. you’re welcome. i spared you
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
i agree on the AI thing, it's such a big umbrella term that encompasses so many diff things but it's become the latest buzzword that ppl just throw around. people will be "anti AI" when they exclusive mean generative AI. they dont realize anything with an algorithm uses AI, medical imaging uses AI, so on and so forth 😭
my feelings on generative AI and some of its current applications are pretty negative but AI in general has been helping us for decades and is pretty great!!!
It ticks me off so much. It's like....there are absolutely dangers with generative AI, but also. It's in the world now, so you can cower or you can dip your toes in and interact with the inescapable future. The march of progress will move on whether you're with it or not. There are people who were alive during the invention of electricity who died thinking that installing it to houses was a danger to them and society.
The real issue is capitalism. If we existed in a society where AI could exist for reasons outside of profit/consumption, then I think we would feel differently. I'm not offended by robots making art - I think the art they create is often very beautiful! I don't think art is limited to humans, and I think it's arrogant and small-minded to think that only bipedal apes get to have a market in replicating or creating images. I am upset that robots making art puts people out of jobs, because it's not about the art, it's about the fact that capitalism will use AI to widen the wealth gap.
Also, as you said - it's not all generative AI! There's so many useful and integrated applications of AI that make society more streamlined. I think that humans as a species are just very afraid of the future, and they moralize that fear because it's easier than accepting that it's uncomfortable to live in the future. It always has been, always will!
#mailbox#forgot to post this but it’s nice knowing that I’m not alone in this lol#like . AI Has BEEN in the world before. it really surprises me how many people are actively in denial about this#or shame people for using AI when many aspects of their life have and will continue to be influenced by it#it’s annoying but. AI will not be going away and future generations will take advantage of it in the way our generation is too stubborn too
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
soryy bothering but, are you really really REALLY usre there is no other cookie to ship with black sugar swan besides whipped cream? no one? literally no one else? if your answer is still only fatedfeathers exists, then okay, i understand it... sorry for asking...
Fuck off.
#bss asks#Not only have I constantly said no more ship asks because of YOUR stupid ask#But the fact that you’re acting like this over such simple shit is so laughable honestly. Get fucking over it I’m done.#Leave me the fuck alone lol I’m not being nice anymore. This is such rancid behavior over SHIPPING#acting like people who dont multiship everything are the devil I swear. Fuuuck you’re annoying#I know I said I wasn’t going to reply anymore to ship related asks but. I feel like clowning on somebody occasionally.#By the way? Pretty sure I have this person blocked elsewhere so if you’re block evading me. Genuinely fuck off I’m so serious
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
actually here’s a pano of my workspace if u guys want. over the fall we moved all the online inventory into its own room and i get to be in here alone most of the time which rocks. esp bc there’s real light and windows in here even though it’s a basement, unlike our original warehouse space/the other room down the hall which is soo dark & crowded. the area im in is mostly fiber stuff (notions, thread, yarn, fabric, and there’s more yardage behind me), there’s more packing stuff to my left, and if you went straight ahead down the side of the shelf there’s lots more shelves with all the other shit we have. you may notice my very meticulous labels on every box that say what category is in each container and what range of skus in that category are in there. i left this post to go zoom in on my photo to see what else i should explain & when i came back thought the app refreshed and i lost it !!! but it’s ok. anyway off in the kind of left side distance you can also see part of the break area & my boss’s extremely disorganized paper zone for the sketchbooks we wholesale. and there’s a lot more mess elsewhere in this room but it has nothing to do with me because i’m the only one that can keep a space organized
#work tag#photo record#chatpost#one of the nice things about this job is i just kind of do whatever. everyone knows that i have stuff to do and they just leave me alone.#mostly i’m packing orders but if i want to go reorganize something or whatever that’s my prerogative#it sucks to have another standing all the time job but at least i have a lot more freedom than i’ve had at similar positions#even if my boss is annoying. lol#things did get a lot better when she stopped being around so much and when i got my own room & table that people don’t put shit on
5 notes
·
View notes
Photo
2023 reads // twitter thread
This Doesn’t Mean Anything
NA contemporary romance about a sex-repulsed girl starting uni and meeting an upperclassman who hangs out in the same study room and coffeeshop as she does
struggling with her asexuality, new friendships, and harassment
#This Doesn’t Mean Anything#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#well.#I was overall enjoying the first half of this! then it went to shit lol#for one. WAY TOO LONG. but also feels like scenes would be very short then skip to the next day#I liked how the first half of the book was just developing the relationship as a friendship.#there’s a conflict at 50% and they literally are terrible to each other for almost the entire rest of the book#also the conflict of why they can’t get together feels manufacured.#he feels like he (21) is too old for her (18) and while i’m like…yeah I understand that im iffy about it too;#as the reader we know they’re going to get together anyway. so it just feels stupid. and made that way just to cause a conflict. which lasts#too long.#2)#then men are SO overprotective to the point it’s kinda. not creepy exactly but like why the fuck can none of these women go anywhere without#a dude accompanying them? the MMC even. when she tells him to leave her alone (because he rejected her) he’s still being all protective and#and calling her sweetheart like I started to actively dislike him. it’s like. borderline manipulative ‘nice guy’#THEN it threw in a SA at 80% or whatever which. a) can we not SA our ace characters and b) is just not handled well. it feels like an excuse#to make them hurt/comfort and then get together aka end their conflict. which. oof.#3)#‘i was looking up why i dont want sex and i saw the word asexuality but couldn’t find much else maybe the GSA could help’#you can’t use info-not-on-the-internet as a plot excuse when. there is endless info about that on the internet? I don’t think this is set in#2005? also she doesnt even go ask the gsa#while her sex repulsion is a significant part of the book actual references to asexuality are extremely brief and half of it is shoved into#the last chapters. and it’s almost entirely her being self hating and the LI affirming her#anyway I can see the INTENTION is good here; the quality of writing just makes it all bad#like maybe these things are the author's experience and that's fine. the way it's written is uncomfortable.#i can tell all the 5* reviews are people who have never read an ace book before. i promise there is better#i think there’s gonna be a companion sequel about her roommate being aroace which. I don’t have super high hopes for writing-wise but I gues#guess I'm interested
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Has not really sunk in yet that tomorrow I’m leaving the apartment where I’ve lived the last five years and like. Maybe that doesn’t seem like a LONG time to live someplace but I became a whole ass adult here. Lived through some of my best and worst times here. Laughed and cried and ate and drank and damn it I’m never going to have a street name this cute again.
#obviously not sharing the street name but TRUST ME it is adorable#I’m excited about the move though!!#going to be living with one of my best friends and he actually moved in with me for the last month of my lease here#so I already know what that’s going to be like haha#i really NEEDED to spend time living alone when I first moved here but now like. it’s really nice not to be alone#and I’m going to have space for a dishwasher so!!!#that’s the real excitement 😂#the real struggle is how will I find time to watch the mI finale tomorrow LOL#(tbf most of our stuff is already moved out and is arriving at the new place the day after tomorrow so I SHOULD have time)#(and maybe ml should not be a priority but moving is STRESSFUL and i deserve nice things haha)
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Life Update:
I’ve just graduated from flight attendant training, and I’ve earned my wings yall! I have about a week before I start inflight training and that’ll last about four days, and then i have another two-day training course, but as of now, I’m pretty much a fully certified flight attendant!
I’ve also finally found a place to live once I get to my base, as I was worrying about that a lot lol but things are going great.
I’m just a bit sad, because even though I felt like shit most of the time getting up so early and going to school for 10-12 hours a day, it was really fun, and I already miss seeing my classmates and talking to them everyday. We started out with 22 and ended up with 17, but it was still a big class compared to a lot of other graduating classes lol. Some of my classmates have already went on to their scheduled inflight training, and I’ll be the last one to go lol bcs mine is scheduled for the 26th, and four ppl have left already so I’m sad. My roommate is leaving tomorrow, though, and tbh I’m not sad abt that, I’ll be along in the hotel room for 4 days before I leave lol.
But yeah, I just wanted to tell y’all what’s going on. I’m finally going to get back to writing a bit for the free time I have while here, but I’m not sure if i’m going to post any works yet.
#i’ve also been feeling a bit lonely#although i’ve become friends with my classmates we aren’t rlly friends#idk how to explain#but you know how there are ppl you can talk to when you see them and have a nice convo#but y’all aren’t that close#it’s smth like that#i want to be close but none of them ever invite me out or voluntarily talk to me like they do others#everyone has their ‘best friend’ but me#and a lot of the time i’m alone#i’ve tried rlly hard to be extroverted and happy and smiley#and just a person that is easily approachable#but i guess i have to try harder#when we’re we talking about first impressions#a lot of#people said that i seemed rlly standoffish and shy at first#and like damn#i put on a whole new persona coming here and it’s still not good enough lol#idk what to do abt that tbh#i just wish ppl would treat me like they treat everyone else#this got mad depressing lmao
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Very tempted to ask around about the Rhaenicent discord server but also remembering the times I *was* in fandom discord servers and felt too awkward and shy to be there and just left
#personal#the craving for community vs AuDHD#the latter wins every time#I’m terrible with large groups of people#and sometimes even small ones!#I can be shy and awkward for a long time#a few discord friends already know this lol#but it would be nice to connect with other writers sometimes#cause at times it feels as if I’m alone in my little sandbox with no one to tell me they like my castle ideas
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have like two more new ideas for 5 + 1 fics
girl help i can’t stop writing 5 + 1 fics 😭
#ray rambles#idk there’s something about them that i love#and yes they’re both for my boys#incase u want to know#little sneak peak#or maybe not if i never write them lol#1: Jason (Leo’s bf) is flirting with spider man (who is Leo) and he doesn’t know how to deal w it#2: ‘he’s just being nice!’ but that’s how gay flirting is#also this is /hj i love writing these fics#i’m truly writing fics for me and me alone (and whoever else likes em too ig… but mainly me)
1 note
·
View note
Text
Oh my grandma liked the crocheted tote bag btw
#she said she always likes to carry an extra bag for her shopping :) and she said she likes the colour#she didn’t even mind that it was mesh. she said it’d be good for veggies#her birthday meal went well. my uncle actually behaved himself. i think because his wife was there#i’m gonna go see them on thursday and meet all their dogs. i’ve only met one of them#and they’re only in town until friday. staying in a flat because no one will house their dogs#three out of the four are fine but one of them barks and growls at everyone’s feet. i don’t know why feet#actually one of the others starts to pull down blinds and curtains as soon as she’s left alone#she broke one of my grandma’s blinds and that’s why they’re not allowed to stay at their house#i also got wine drunk with my grandma lol because everyone else was either driving or doesn’t drink or doesn’t like wine#and my grandma was straight up like ‘i need you to form a buffer between me and [uncle’s wife] because i do not like her’#(i don’t know why she doesn’t like her. i think she just made a bad first impression and once you get on my grandma’s shit list#that’s it for you. you’re there for eternity)#so i managed to finesse everyone into sitting so that my grandma wouldn’t have to talk to my uncle’s wife. it’s the least i can do#i ended up with my grandma on one side of me and my granddad’s emotional support bestie on the other side#sidenote i don’t know why my granddad brings this man everywhere. i think he is literally moral support#actually i get it. if i could bring moral support to deal with my family i probably would#i nearly threw a prawn at my uncle today but there was a guy sitting right behind him and my aim is legendarily bad#i didn’t want to get kicked out of a nice restaurant over one prawn#personal
0 notes
Text
when my boyfriend tries to make something just for us into a group activity
#it me#I don’t think he understands how much I need a break from talking to multiple ppl all the time#like it’s my day off dude#you know in Erykah’s ‘Tyrone’ when she’s like ‘why can’t we be by ourselves sometimes’#like dude if I wanted other people coming along I would’ve said so#I have a job I have roommates I’m never fucking alone enough for my introverted ass to recharge#the first actually nice feeling summer day in northern hell and you want to invite other ppl bruh#read my lips read the room the call is coming from inside the house all that dawg#ok vent over lol#no I don’t want you inviting other ppl to something I want to keep intimate jackass ok sorry really vent over#he’s not a jackass that was just in my heart
1 note
·
View note
Text
NOW SHE HAS ME UNDER HER SKIRT | M.R x READER
word count \ 3.7k | fluff & stuff | slash / mattheo riddle x reader
in which mattheo is absolutely in love with you before you two even talk for the first time (part one to lovesick!mattheo) author's note at the end!
SECOND PART HERE - lovesick!mattheo christmas edition
NOW SHE HAS ME UNDER HER SKIRT | M.R x READER
Mattheo didn’t know much about love.
Between being raised by a dictator and his craziest follower, he already didn’t have a very good start. Especially whenever he would get in trouble, the Cruciatus Curse was definitely no joke. Not to mention everyone pestering him about the legacy he led. News flash to the Gryffindors who would try to pick on him, he found it quite obvious that he was Voldemort’s son.
Suffice to say that he didn’t know much about love. He never had a true showcase of it, never had an example of it to compare to anything. The closest he ever had being another stunted teenager by the name of Theodore that considered him his brother, but even then there was still distance.
That was until he met you.
You, the most beautiful person he had ever met in his entire existence on this Earth. Anything he lol looked at on you he would find absolutely perfect, from the color of your eyes to the way your hair bounced in the sunlight.
That alone made it hard to approach you. Your nice demeanor seemed to make it even harder.
So, he settled with admiring from afar. Mattheo knew your schedule, the classes that you would take and every time that it varied. He would subtly watch you in classes, hang around the same areas you did during your break periods, or even where you went for fun. And, to the best of his ability, he tried to avoid things that looked bad. No more fights or cursing, not unless he was truly provoked.
His mind also got its grubby hands on the idea of a journal. A place he could write about you freely, one he charmed so only he could read it. Entries, song ideas, anything he could think of. You made him an artist, you as his perfect muse.
And it all got even better when you two finally met.
You had just walked down to the courtyard, Mary Janes clacking along the rocks as you made your way over to a small pillar.
Recently, you noticed someone sitting by the pillars a lot more than usual. He was tall, his face usually covered by his brown curls as he wrote inna small journal he always carried with him. Said tall man with a face covered by his brown curls was your current potions partner, you had both been assigned to create a Liquid Luck potion.
“Hello?” you called out gently. face tilted down just a bit as you looked down at him. His eyes locked with yours when he looked up, the most beautiful shade of molten honey you had ever seen meeting your eyes. “Hi there, stranger.”
“Hello?” he whispered back at you, eyebrows furrowed as he spoke. His face looked rather cute when it was all scrunched up like that, a light blush covering his cheeks.
“I’m your Potions partner.” you said with a smile, flattening your skirt before moving to sit down next to him. “For the Liquid Luck project.”
“Oh,” he whispered, nodding as he closed his journal. It had a rather pretty leather cover, the pages aged and covered in ink from what you could tell. “Yeah, I remember. Y/N, right?”
“Yeah,” you smiled, nodding. “And you’re Mattheo.”
“Yes I am.” he said, a soft smile coming on his face as he heard that. He looked at you with something special in his eyes, eyes that carved themselves deep into your soul with the most intricate patterns you could think of.
The trance both of you seemed to be stuck in was broken when he cleared his throat, fingers tapping on his journal. “Did you have any ideas for the project?”
“Oh,” you whispered, nodding. “Yes, yes I do. I was thinking that we head to the library and research different potion methods and whatnot. Based on Slughorn’s instructions, I’m assuming that the instructions in the books won’t help much.”
“You’re a genius.” he whispered, barely loud enough for you to hear.
“What was that?” you asked him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“Nothing,” he said, clearing his throat as he began to sit up. “Do you want to go now?”
Mattheo thought that he was dreaming, if he was being honest.
The girl of his dreams, the girl that he had wrote almost obsessively day and night about for almost six years, that same girl was currently sitting across from him. Laughing.
“You’re ridiculous,” she smiled at his joke, her voice sweet like a piece of cotton candy melting on your tongue. He didn’t even remember what he had joked about at this point, his mind turning to mush the moment he heard that sound pass your lips.
Those lips that haunted his dreams every single night, the image of them so plush and pure he wanted to worship them like one would a holy angel. They looked absolutely perfect.
“Thank you,” he whispered, smiling softly as he rested his chin on his hand. He probably looked like a lovesick puppy, but he didn’t mind.
“I found something really interesting in this book by the way,” you said, Mattheo’s eyes instantly darting to where your hands were resting on the page. “It says in the recipe that we need to juice a squill bulb, which most people just cut it for. But this recipe here notes that squeezing ingredients over a funnel gets more juice out.”
“That’s really interesting.” he whispered, his gaze looking at your face as you spoke.
“Isn’t it?” you asked with a smile. “And here it says that adding the entire Murtlap makes the potion last longer, rather than just growth.”
“That’s also really interesting.” he whispered again, gaze still stuck on your face. You looked so pretty whenever you were concentrating on things, the way your eyebrows furrowed making him think of a million different songs and rhythms.
“Is it?” you asked with a chuckle.
“Well,” he muttered, looking at you with a small smile on his face. “I always found Potions an interesting topic.”
“Always is not a word. It’s more of a concept.” you said, humming as you continued reading the pages. Mattheo chuckled softly, looking at you like a lovesick puppy.
“You’re lovely,” he whispered.
Theo was sitting in his bed reading a book, his curtains almost completely closed as he flipped between page to page. At least, he pretended to.
Recently, he had noticed Mattheo’s obsessive journaling habits. How his hands would be covered in ink by the time he was finished, or how he’d write until his new candle burnt out. Sometimes Mattheo would write even when the candle burnt out, instead opting for yet another one.
It was rather concerning to Theo, to say the least. Out of all of the things Mattheo could do, he was changing who he was. Self-improvement was one thing, but it seemed like he changed an obsession from fighting to writing.
“I can feel you staring at me.” Mattheo mumbled, looking back over at where Theo was sitting.
“I’m surprised you can,” Theo said under his breath, closing his book and standing up. “With how much you’ve been writing, I’d assume you get sucked in by a black hole sometime soon.”
“Oh hush,” he whispered, looking up from the journal. His hands were stained black and red with quill ink, the candle beside him still burning brightly. “Why do you keep staring at me? You’ve been doing it all week.”
“Your journal.” Theo smirked, walking behind Mattheo and placing his hands on his Mattheo’s shoulder. “What’s inside?”
“Why would I tell you?” Mattheo grumbled, continuing to write in the journal. Theo’s eyes squinted as they tried to read whatever was on the page, but the words were too jumbled to make any sense to him. No doubt a charm.
“You charmed the journal?” Theo asked curiously, looking down at Mattheo.
“Like you care.” he whispered under his breath, the quill scratching loudly against the paper. The room was quiet other than that, nothing but the quill scratching and the candle crackling.
“I do.” Theo said, his voice a bit more stern. He pulled up a chair next to Mattheo, resting his elbow on the table. “Mattheo, you’re pushing everyone away. Even me, and it’s not healthy. All you do is write in this journal, it’s kind of worrying.”
“I just like writing,” Mattheo whispered, moving his legs to rest his knees near his chest.
“About what?” Theo asked, his voice more soft than teasing.
“You’ll judge.” Mattheo whispered again, flicking the quill back and forth as his eyes glanced over at Theo. “Why do you want to know?”
“Because you’re my best friend.” Theo whispered. “I promise I won’t judge.”
Mattheo sighed before turning to the journal, pressing his wand against it as the words came into view more clearly. His handwriting was a lot more cursive than Theo first remembered, no doubt changing the more he wrote.
“It’s a journal about her,” Mattheo whispered, flipping through some of the pages. “Love letters, poems, songs and stuff.”
“Her?” Theo asked curiously. “Who’s her?”
“Her,” Mattheo muttered to Theo, picking at his fingernails as he spoke. He looked like a blushing schoolboy who found his first love, it was rather cute to watch. “It’s, like, she’s a girl I just really like. I think about her a lot, you know? And I’m just trying to improve myself for her.”
“What’s her name?” Theo asked, resting his head against his hand as he crossed his legs.
“Y/N.” Mattheo sighed, like the word itself was a part of some holy prophecy. “She’s so beautiful, you know? Like something from heaven, just beautiful. And I just can’t get her out of my head.”
“Have you ever tried talking to her?” Theo asked, a small smile on his face.
“We have this project together right now.” he said, chuckling softly as he spoke. He was so down bad. “She took me to the library to research more about potions. Merlin, she’s so smart Theo. She figured the reason why nobody could make the potion was because the instructions were wrong.”
“So you both started researching?” Theo asked.
“She researched, yeah,” Mattheo said, before chuckling again. His hand moved to scratch the back of his neck nervously. “I kind of just sat watching her the entire time.”
“Mattheo,” Theo chuckled softly, shaking his head.
“You said you wouldn’t judge!” Mattheo protested.
“I’m not judging.” Theo chuckled, looking down at the journal. “I’m just confused on how you think you’ll get your girl if you can’t even talk to her. Journaling can only go so far.”
“I know,” Mattheo whispered, looking down at his journal again. “But it still helps.”
Theo nodded, looking down at the journal again. “What are you writing about right now?”
“Uh,” he muttered, looking at the pages. “It’s a song. She said something at the library that made me think of a song, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.”
“What’s it sound like.” Theo asked, leaning back in his seat.
“Uhm,” he whispered, picking at his nails again as he pushed the journal towards Theo. He hummed softly as he picked it up, eyes squinting as he tried to read his handwriting.
Darling, just calm with your voice
Let your heart sing, how I always enjoy
When you say “always” is not a word
You think love is a bit absurd.
“That’s really nice,” Theo said, looking up at Mattheo with a small smirk. “This is a lot better than I thought it’d be, to be honest.”
“What did you think I was writing about?” Mattheo asked confusedly.
“Dark magic or something.” Theo chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Like you were possessed by a ghost to figure out how to resurrect themselves.”
Mattheo chuckled at that, taking his journal back. “I think you’ll find someone like this, you know. It makes life really nice.”
“Being in love?” Theo asked, an eyebrow raised.
“Yeah,” Mattheo whispered. “In love.”
“Well, there’s always an opportunity for that. And when it happens, it’ll happen.” Theo said, patting his pockets and pulling out a box of cigarettes. “But until then, there’s cigarettes.”
“You know the way to my heart, don’t you?” Mattheo snickered at that, using the lit candle to light his own cigarette.
It had been a couple of weeks since you and Mattheo had started working on your project. You had figured out how to maximize the efficiency of your potion brewing, including changing methods of brewing and preparing ingredients. After about three different trials, you had finally found the perfect way to brew the potion.
“That’s perfect.” Mattheo smiled softly at you, chuckling softly as he scratched the back of his neck. In all honesty, it looked like a regular potion to him. “I think that’s perfect, right?”
“That is perfect.” you said, giggling softly as his reaction You found it rather cute, if you were being honest. He seemed rather nervous around you. “Thank you for doing all of this with me, the potion work and all. Most people would probably just leave it to me, you know?”
“Why would they leave?” Mattheo asked, eyebrows furrowing.
You shrugged, looking down at the potion still set in the cauldron as you spoke. “I don’t really know. I guess people consider me weird or something like that. Someone said that I was whimsical once, I don’t think it was a nice way though.”
“That’s absolutely ridiculous.” Mattheo spat. He couldn’t understand the logic of that. In his eyes, you were absolutely perfect. He would give anything in the world to hang out with you more often than he got too, and people gave that up for free? The thought was absolutely ridiculous.
You chuckled quietly at that, smiling softly. “Yeah?”
“Definitely. I mean,” he paused, looking up at you like that was the most absurd thing in the entire world. He had a small flush on his face, no doubt questioning what he was going to say. “I mean, you’re such a nice person. And I think that hanging around you is comforting.”
“And I think that you’re rather sweet.” you chuckled, looking at him with a soft smile.
“I’m being serious!” Mattheo said, looking you in the eyes. You hadn’t heard him talk this much in the entire time that you had been working with him, and you especially didn’t expect it to be him defending you. “You’re just, like, you. Which is really sweet, you know? I really like you and your whimsy, or whatever they try to call you.”
You giggled again, smiling softly at him as you scooted a bit closer. “You’re rather nice yourself, if I do say so myself.”
“Thank you.” he whispered, his voice raising a pitch as he looked at the potion. “Do we need to test this?”
“I think so.” she nodded. “Do you want to do it?”
Mattheo looked at the potion, a small frown coming on her face. If anything went wrong with the podcast, he wouldn’t want you to be hurt by it. Which led to him nodding, the best option for him obviously being him taking the potion himself.
“I’ll bottle it for you.” you said, grabbing the small ladle and pouring it inside the potion vial. “Here, one vial of Liquid Luck for you.”
Mattheo smiled softly as he took a sniff of it. “Is it meant to smell like something?”
“No, just air. I mean, clean air. Not like toxic air or anything.” you said, before ending your small speel. “It doesn’t smell like anything.”
Mattheo nodded again, taking a swig of it before coughing. “That’s definitely hot.”
“It did just come off the cauldron.” you chuckled, fingers fidgeting slightly. “Do you feel lucky?”
Mattheo looked up at you with a look you could only describe as a lovesick puppy, a small flush covering his face as he admired you. You could only assume the amount of thoughts running through his mind were plenty, some very hard to sort through.
“Yeah,” he whispered, blinking slowly as he looked at you. “Very lucky.”
You chuckled softly at that, your face flushing as you watched his eyes lock onto your lips. “Do I have something on my lips or something?”
“No,” he whispered softly, his Adam’s Apple bobbing as he spoke. “No, I just,”
“Something on my teeth?” you asked, shining your teeth to him.
“I want to kiss you.” he whispered.
Your mouth closed again as you heard that, eyes locking onto his after he spoke. That didn’t last long though, as his eyes focused back on your lips again. “You what?”
“I want to kiss you.” he said a bit more clearly, his voice hoarse as he spoke. “I mean, I don’t want to pressure you. But I really want to kiss you.”
“You can kiss me.” you whispered softly to him, scooting a bit closer to him in return.
Mattheo blinked for a couple of seconds, the shock of your answer plastered on his face. It filled you with a small sense of confidence, the blush on his face fueling your own. “I can?”
“You can.” you smiled.
Mattheo smiled brightly at that, the burn of it brighter than the sun sucking his lips in like a blackhole would. His lips immediately met yours, burning like fireworks against his skin. It was absolute bliss to him, burning through his skin and turning him into nothing but lovesick ash.
“Your lips are absolutely perfect, my love.” he whispered, his eyes boring into yours with a gaze full of adoration. “So perfect.”
“Was your luck to try and kiss me, Riddle?” you chuckled softly at him.
“This is the luckiest moment of my life.” he whispered.
“Theo!” Mattheo spat out, opening the dorm room door as he stormed in. His palms looked sweaty, and his face was absolutely covered in a bright blush.
“Mattheo.” Theo said his name back, closing his book as he looked at where Mattheo had stormed in. He looked absolutely wrecked, almost drenched in sweat. “You look like you just got your ass kicked on the Quidditch field.”
“I just,” he whispered, walking closer to Theo as he paced around the room. “I just kissed her.”
“Y/N?” Theo asked, a small smile crossing her face. “You kissed her?”
“It was so perfect.” he whispered, laying down on Theo’s bed. “Like, it was like her lips had a magnetic pull on me. I couldn’t stop for the next hour. A whole hour!”
“That’s wild, mate.” he chuckled softly, patting Mattheo on the head.
“It was just perfect,” he whispered under his breath, sighing softly. “Like, I don’t know how else to describe it. Maybe like looking at a supernova for the first time.”
“You are down bad, Mattheo.” he chuckled softly at that, continuing to pat his friend on the head.
“And then we, after that right?” he said, the smile on his face only growing larger. “We snuck off to this broom closet. You know the ones. And we did, we had,” he paused, sighing in frustration as his words jumbled in his head. “You know?”
“I know.” Theo chuckled.
“I have a song idea again.” Mattheo said, sitting up again as he rushed to the journal he kept so dearly to his heart. “I will be dead to the world for the next few hours.”
“You want me to go tell Y/N that, lover boy?” Theo smirked.
“She can come in whenever.” Mattheo said, dipping his quill in black ink. “I already gave her our dormitory password.”
“You what?”
“I have a present for you.” Mattheo whispered under his breath, a small smile on his face as he walked towards you.
It was the 6 month anniversary of one of the happiest relationships you had ever been in. There was communication and there was love. Small dates near the Black Lake at midnight, with breakfast you stole from the Great Hall earlier. Times where he’d take you into town and let you dress up however you wanted, all on the cards he stole from Malfoy. Or small get-togethers like this, hangouts at the top of the Astronomy Tower.
And the presents were always lovely. Small poems that he wrote for you, or love letters that he hand wrapped himself. A small blush or dress you had been eyeing for more than two seconds, or room decor that went with your forever indecisive aesthetics.
“You do?” you giggled softly, gasping softly as he pulled out a small guitar. “A song?”
“I’ve written a couple for you,” he whispered. “And I wanted to sing them to you. For our anniversary.”
“I love you.” you giggled, smiling as he sat down.
He cleared his throat as he made sure the guitar was in tune, strumming a few chords before eventually developing a melody. It seemed almost hypnotic the way his hands moved, his voice humming along as he figured out the rhythm.
“Yesterday, I was a word. Left with no voice to speak it,” he hummed softly, his voice and the guitar both vibrating through the walls. You smiled brightly as you heard his voice, not realizing how pretty his voice actually sounded.
“Now I am a happy song, placed on the lips of a woman.” he sang, winking at you. He continued for a few lines, a small smirk growing on his lips as he got to the instrumental part.
“What are you going to sing next?” you asked, watching him giggle softly. “Seriously!”
“Patience,” he whispered, chuckling as he strung the melody again, his eyes darting down at the guitar. “Now she has me, under her skirt,”
“Mattheo!” you flushed, slapping his arm and breaking the rhythm of his song. “My skirt?”
The both of you burst out into a laugh at that, the sound breaking through the cold night air that breezed through the alcove you sat in. Or maybe you just felt warm in his presence, a constant feeling of love rushing through your body.
“Can I finish my song now?” he smirked.
“I suppose you could.” you whispered, resting your head on his shoulder as he continued to sing.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
my second post oh my GOD this one took a hot minute to get through. beta-reading and proof reading is definitely not my jam, and there's definitely things that i missed in this. but i hope it still works out well, especially the whole lovesick angle i was going for. if you guys haven't already, please please please go check out tamino's music. it is actually so. good. if you listen to hozier or adrianne lenker, i think you'd really like his songs (my favorites are the first disciple and habibi)
if you would like to read the second part, click here!
as always, please like, comment, and reblog! it really helps out, and i really appreciate everyone who does! if you guys have any requests or something you can request in the ask box!
#fanfiction#harry potter fanfiction#slytherin boys#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo x you#theodore nott#tamino#lovesick mattheo#fluff#extra fluff#mattheo & theo teasing
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
it’s weird how i feel love carnally and devastatingly and it’s weird how it can totally envelope me and then on the other hand it’s weird to also feel like i don’t need anyone and like i’m supposed to be alone
#ienjoy being alone and i think i’m really cool…… tbh#and it was nice to share that and see that in someone else…… but for him to be like i wasn’t 100% into it… be serious#like i know he didn’t mean he wasn’t into it Because of me like he’s literally mental illness#that much is clear and imm like thats awesome that u realize u need to work on urself first#But also now i’m like ugh i have to relearn myself a little bit#mildly annoyed#And also a sagittarius that can’t 1. confront or 2. identify her emotions#It’s chill tho#I overthink!#at least i’ll always have myself and my cool parents and awesome friends lol#j
0 notes
Text
Mutual Understanding
pairings: Shadow the Hedgehog x reader (platonic)
warnings: sonic 3 spoilers, mentions of death, trauma bonding lol!!!
summary: as the assistant in training for Stone, you’re tasked with keeping an eye on the black and red haired hedgehog
a/n: just watched sonic 3, I love it so much I immediately wrote this as soon as I got home, please enjoy and go watch it as soon as possible (I LOVE YOU SHADOW AUAGHH)
You watched as Stone left the Crab, running a quick errand so he could finish the suits he was making for Robotnik and his grandfather Gerald. You had a strange feeling about him and you could tell Stone did too but as assistants all you could do was brush it aside.
As Stone left you looked towards your right, Shadow stood near you his eyes staring at where your mentor was standing only moments ago, before his head tilted to glance at you. His eyes scanned you, as you scanned him back, you knew what he was capable of, you were warned but you couldn’t help but keep looking.
Shadow held his gaze on you before he turned away, looking at the television still playing in the background, the telenovela now capturing his attention.
You watched him as he stared ahead. Deciding you had nothing else to do, you sat down on the floor, not daring to get near Dr Robotniks chair, knowing he’d notice if it was moved even a centimeter. A sigh escaped your lips as whatever was going on in the strange show kept going on, you tried to get into it but it felt too generic for you.
“Why are you here,” Was the first thing you’d heard him say. You perked up at his sudden question, this was the first time since you’d met him that shadow had talked to you.
“What?” You asked him, curious as to what he meant.
He looked back at you, no longer paying attention to the show, “I asked why are you here”
You slightly raised a brow still somewhat confused, “Well I’m uh- an apprentice here so it’s like kinda my job?” You shrugged at the hedgehog, slightly raising your arms.
Shadow didn’t seem satisfied with your answer. The room settled into an uncomfortable silence as Shadow continued to just stare at you.
Nervously you glanced around the room, not out of fear but just confusion as to what he even meant.
“Are you alone?”
“What.” You asked, deadpanning at the straightforward question, “Obviously not-“
“No” Shadow cut you off, “Why are you with them?”
You knew who he was referring to, Stone and Robotnik. Obviously they weren’t your parents, it was easy to see from the way they treated you. Stone was kind but he wasn’t very parental, he was more of a teacher. Robotnik was definitely not parental, he was more like a demanding boss who didn’t give his workers equal pay.
“They’re all I have,” you bluntly responded to the hedgehog, as you slowly brought your legs closer to you.
Noticing the uncomfortable feeling you were getting Shadows gaze somewhat fell, maybe it was empathy or something else that you couldn’t quite understand.
Nervously you fiddled with the necklace around your neck, a two little star emblems given to you by your late mother.
Shadows eyes widened, he stepped closer to you trying to get a glimpse at the necklace. You looked up at him, an arm around your legs, the other gripping the necklace tight.
“You like?” You asked him, noticing how his legs uncontrollably moved him closer to you. His gaze was still fixed on it, as if he was remembering, “My mom gave this to me before she passed, she loved the stars, I do too honestly.”
He slowly sat down in front of you, both of you now looking at each other. Slightly noticing his distress you hesitantly took off the necklace, passing it to him so he could get a closer look. You knew he wouldn’t take it, of course you’d just met him but it felt as if you two had known each other before.
The necklace was silver, it was nicely kept; obviously cleaned regularly although it was a bit too small for you by now but that didn’t seem to stop you from wearing it. On it were two stars, one big star and another smaller star, it looked as if they were shining, but one was brighter than the other.
“A light still shines even though the star is gone,” You mumbled looking at the necklace in Shadows hands. His gaze quickly snapped up, his usual angry demeanor faltering to show a small look of shock.
“What?..” Shadow asked, as he looked between you and the necklace.
You laid on your back, your knees up letting out a sigh, “It’s just, you know something I like to say when I think about her,”
Shadow got up from his sitting position, he walked over to your side, handing you the necklace back as he laid down next to you. There were no stars inside the Crab, just a bunch of machine and technology that you truly didn’t understand half of.
There was a comfortable silence now, as you two laid down next to each other; Shadow sighed, for the first time it sounded like he was free, like the demons from his past were no longer attacking his every thought.
He turned his head to look at you, “You remind me of her,”
Snapping out of your trance you looked back at him, eyebrows slightly raised, “Who?” You asked, your tone soft as to not startle him.
His gaze was, soft, no longer angry at the world, maybe at himself, you really couldn’t tell, “Someone I used to know a long time ago,”
You let out a hum of acknowledgment, “She sounds nice,” you said, looking back towards the roof of the contraption.
Shadow still looked at you, you were no Maria, but you made him rethink; that maybe, maybe the world isn’t as bad as he thought it was, maybe there were people worth saving.
“She was.”
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic 3#knuckles the echidna#tails the fox#shadow the hedgehog#sonic 3 x reader#shadow x reader#sonic 3 spoilers#fanfic#x reader#platonic#shadow Brainrot
865 notes
·
View notes