#but it still manages to hurt me

[saucefunk]

CONTROL YOURSELF

[tayliii]

i just want to hang out with her and get iced coffee and talk about different topics like boys, our future, clothes but i cant anymore because we are not friends anymore and she doesn't smile nor wave at me even if we cross paths and we will never go back to what we were before

[satans-knitwear]

My eyes are up there ^^ keep going, at the top. 👀

Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me

[mariana-oconnor]

[yooboobies]

…i don’t know your name

[gojoest]

my very dear friend who is also my ex and we go waaaaaay back called me on nye little bit after midnight (😭) and last night on my bday we facetimed for about 2 hours (😭😭) and he invited me to his place in vienna for a weekend should i go SHOULD I GO

[kirby-the-gorb]

[0xeyedaisy]

Oops, I might've overestimated how well I can deal w my sickness while working...

[dunmeshiminimumwage]

[aibouart]

compilation of my other fav palette challenges from the years past... i should do them again sometime......

chara #9 belongs to @askbookwormflareon

[3-aem]

me petting my cat at 3am after 0 indication that he is actually hurt: r u okay would u tell me if you were ever not okay

my cat probably: god she’s at it again

[deadqueernoldor]

Thinking thoughts about those from Cuivienen and how they later treated the Valar, especially after Cuivienen was destroyed.

I imagine a foundation of sorrow and a layer of betrayal and pettiness. They had promised safety. And how did it turn out? Kin of Tata and Tatie their first leaders, slain in Valinor by the Dark Hunter from which the Valar promised protection in Valinor.

And then, the War of Wrath comes and with it the destruction of Cuivienen.

If any of those were re-embodied in Aman, I wonder if they make it a point to always turn their back to Valar and Maiar. I wonder if they only speak in the tongue they had first devised all those millennia ago and spoke in Cuivienen before time and different kindreds changed the tongue, not Sindarin or Quenya from the Great Journey's time or later. I wonder if they sing songs in their ancient tongue, songs about the beauty and unsullied health of Cuivienen every time any of the Ainur are near.

I wonder if the Valar feel any shame when those who they once looked upon in wonder and love gaze back at them with indifference or disgust.

[spotsupstuff]

Cap's got a new voice claim! feat. a tiny bit of Sparrows n her's unchanged vc because 1. it's cute to hear them together and 2. I snorted. The vibes are so different

[songs: So Familiar by Jean Castel and Driving Myself Home by Rose Betts]

[watermelinoe]

private clinics in costa rica really treat you right, during the vacation portion after classes were over i caught a local stomach bug and i remember one of the nurses touching my arm going pobrecita :( and then they gave me amazing pain meds and sent me home with a giant jug of juice to drink, and anyway i just had my first er visit in appalachia and the vibe was honestly similar

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

really fun parallels between Minami & Nishida in which one guy who wants most of the fights he gets into generally has a bit of a dodgy win/lose ratio, meanwhile the other who has only ever welcomed one single fight in his life is the more violently competent

[dent-de-leon]

Thinking again about Lucien’s whole childhood and trauma, the child abuse and loss of autonomy. His own parents selling him out to a hag--forcing him to lead other victims to her when he was just a child, afraid and all alone in the cursed Savalirwood. Memories of how he treated his older brother's wounds after their father hurt him. His own parents later digging up that same brother's grave and handing him over to the hag, letting her turn him into an undead puppet--a lifeless, empty husk, a haunting mockery of the loved one he lost.

The fire he set to stop his parents from ever hurting him, his siblings, or anyone else ever again. How he still wakes up screaming to nightmares of smoke and screams--

Living on his own in the streets of Shadycreek Run by the age of 12, sending his little sister off to Rexxentrum with some traveling merchants because he was desperate to do anything to get her out of that town, to get her away from people like the Jagentoths--the family that killed their other sibling over their parents' debts.

Lucien saying goodbye to his sister and not seeing her again for years because he felt like it was his only chance to get her out of the Run, to give her a better life while he still struggled and fought every day to survive. Lucien throwing his lot in with the Claret Orders and sacrificing his own blood to fight deadly monsters--believing it was a way to prove himself "worthy," to slay other horrors like the witch who tried to make him into an empty puppet. A way to finally make enough money to support his sister and give her the life he always wished he could. A chance to finally have enough power so no one could ever manipulate or hurt him again.

Lucien looking up the Solstryce Academy in awe, yet knowing that a child like him would have never been given a chance there, feeling the ache of his blood hunter scars and believing that he would never truly belong. Lucien who knew from the beginning that he would be an outsider, that people in Shadycreek would only ever see his infernal blood and hate him for it. The heartbreaking realization that blood hunters are ostracized and feared and hunted down just the same, that his own sister looks at the scars he got trying to build a life for her and she's so disgusted and terrified, she turns him away.

Mage after mage using their magic to try and control Lucien and bend him to their will time and time again. The hag who always hoped to add him to her collection one day, hollow him out into another empty puppet. Vess manipulating him at every turn, using him and throwing him away again and again. The Somnovem all branding Lucien against his will, whispering in his dreams, tormenting him through countless visions. Enslaving him just like all the other fate touched souls that mages of Aeor tortured so long ago.

Lucien being betrayed and hurt by the world again and again, losing any semblance of family or home, always knowing he would never be accepted. Blood and debts and fate and all the misfortune entirely beyond his control, a deck stacked against him from the very beginning.

Lucien looking at Mollymauk and breaking a bit when he realizes that this other part of him was so loved, was able to find his own family and home and happiness. Molly carrying the same scars but none of Lucien's painful past or memories, free of every nightmare Lucien's ever been running from for so long. The way Mollymauk Tealeaf is living the happy dream and fantasy that Lucien always ached for, but never believed could be. How the two of them shake hands and join together again at the very end--