#but it so happened that the same evening (it was yesterday) i was discussing trigun with my best friend | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

paulsolorzano · 6 years ago

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12.31.18

Last day of the year. I’ll be working like an asshole. I need to innovate my way out of this.

How long have I been saying that?

I found some old goal sheets going through stuff yesterday:

“Piano virtuoso” - I don’t even have a keyboard in the house to mess with. Haven’t played on anything since I was in Alaska.

“Published writer” - ain’t done shit with that. Although I do love writing and of course it’s always on the list. Been working on lyrics one line at a time haha

So, it got me depressed to look at these things. But goddamn if it doesn’t have me inspired also.

I hate being one of those ‘new year new me’ people but I just want to use the new year as a springboard to gain some momentum on what I already have going.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?

Sufjan Stevens - come on feel the Illinoise

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Coffee

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.30.18

The pen has ahold of me. Before work, after work, and sometimes during work toward the end of the evening. I reckon I’m a certified weed head currently.

What i did toward the business today:

Worked on the spam solicitation

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

Worked on the spam solicitation

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Fugazi - 13 songs

Kate Bush - the sensual world

Roots Manuva - slime and reason

Ozma - spending time on the borderline

Aloha - little windows cut right through

Small black - best blues

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

“Singing is the same as talking; it’s just moving your voice up and down” - Tina Turner from STK

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.29.18

Bagged up some more random figs. I should get a booth going somewhere at this point. I have all these little lunchboxes filled with random shit I’ve accumulated. I’ll have to get little stickers for pricing.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Pentimento - s/t

Hot rod circuit - sorry about tomorrow

Hot rod circuit - if I knew what I knew then

Schatzi - death of the alphabet

Roots Manuva - run come save me

Roots Manuva - awfully deep

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“If you sniff magic marker, your mind grows darker” - Schatzi

“Waiting for pain to not be a constant” - Jeff Rosenstock

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.28.18

Bagged up some older Dragon Ball Z figs. Chilling at the space.

Officially done 30lbs according to the scale this morning. 185 down from 215. All Keto diet. 180 will be here soon. And then... the 170s? Shit I don’t wanna get ahead of myself. Let’s get to 180 first.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Tiny moving parts - this couch is long & full of friendship

Mitski - puberty 2

Hum - downward is heavenward

Sunny day real estate - diary

The Beatles - abbey road (just the b side)

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Dunkin donuts coffee

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“When you’re old you’re just bummed that you’ll never be happy enough” - Jeff Rosenstock

“I spent a long time down in the basement, instead of rolling with the riffraff” - PUP

“Crack baby you don’t know what you want

But you know that you had it once

And you know that you want it back” - Mitski

“The way your headstone shines, I only wish that it was mine” - HUM

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.27.18

I’ve got some pain in my neck for the last two or probably three days. Probably from sleeping in a weird bed for the last few nights, maybe the stress from seeing Saul again (whether I relapse it or not?), and also from Axxxxx ending things again due to my past transgressions (this time involving her cousin; remind me to tell you the story)

I’ve been sleeping in weird beds for quite some time now.

When will I feel at ease?

When will I feel at home?

My brother and Saul have their homes. They’ve had that base for years. I’ve always been moving, albeit in Orlando, every couple of years.

I’ve had a storage space in the same building since January 2012. So this place is basically my home haha. Also all my shit is here. So yes.

My life in a cube.

—-

Smoked flower before leaving the house today. Been on the pen the last few hours at my storage space.

—-

I’m craving pizza. I haven’t really had a craving since I’ve started this diet, I think I’m just getting bored with eating the same shit. So it might be time to start improvising.

I haven’t really had a taste for the green drinks either. Also I haven’t been to Walmart, and something keeps keeping me from going there.

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Falling in reverse - the drug in me is you

The Beatles - let it be

Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?

National skyline - live letter for the disenchantmented

Antarctigo Vespucci - love in the time of email

Weezer - make believe

Gungrave ost

Trigun ost second donut happy pack

Margot & the nuclear so and so’s - the dust of retreat

Kanye west - the life of Pablo

Neutral milk hotel - in the aeroplane over the sea

Mitski - puberty 2

Mitski - Be the cowboy

Watching:

Star Wars episode VI

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

Aleppin Sane from a goddam fye for 11.fucking99 after discount! Wat!

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I just wanna kiss your lips; the ones between your hips” - falling in reverse

“I got so tired of discussing my future, I started avoiding the people I love” Jeff Rosenstock

“My heart’s not yours just because you need it” - Antarctigo Vespucci

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.26.18

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Notable places visited:

Saul’s house day 2. I stayed Christmas Eve night and Christmas Day night there. First time I’ve been back there since I moved out there

Listening to:

Macross 82-99

Aloha

21 savage

Reggie and the full effect

The pixies

Jeff Rosenstock

Hiromi

Wednesday Campanella

The never ending

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

La Granja, with Saul Mayela and Danielito. First time I’d been there. It was pretty tasty. I wish I weren’t on a diet as I had to pass up rice and beans and maduros and yucca. I actually had a couple bites of the yucca but nothing crazy.

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

M.a.s.k action figures off eBay

Packages received:

Hello kitty loot crate

Robotech action figure

Buffy the vampire slayer ReAction figures: Spike, Buffy Summers

The Terminator ReAction figure: T-800

Assorted Kenner Ghostbusters action figures

Jermaine Rogers Choices vinyl toy

Assorted Keith P Rein prints from his Patreon

eBay obsessions:

Action figures, Kenner and Star Wars

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.25.18

Long fucking double at work (STK for reminder purposes)

Highlights:

shitty amateur tables

A lady at my table cried because she was like the fifth wheel with family members. Crying about being 38 and single. And naturally I offered my services and got her phone number so we are probably gonna link up before she leaves

—-

Also, once again Axxxxx hates me. It sucks because things were going really nicely. She found out that I was messaging her cousin Naomi. She found this out from her cousin Naomi. I’ll go into more detail later

To discuss still:

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“My body’s built for bad behavior” Reggie and the full effect

“You smell bullshit from twenty paces” Reggie and the full effect

“She was everything, and now everything’s gone” Reggie and the full effect

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

11.24.18

To discuss still:

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Wednesday Campenella - Galapagos

Van Halen - jump, from 1984

Aloha - little windows cut right through

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Wheat grass juice powder

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.23.18

I may have to listen to Jimmy Eat World clarity because of today’s date. Also, Travis Schmeisser’s bday is today.

—

Spent some time at the space. Took pics of the rest of the records I found at the vinyl garage sale at BAMF

Been trying to hang with my girl Genesis the whole weekend. She was gonna stay last night but didn’t. Tonite is also supposed to happen, but now I’m gonna meet up with Axxxxx as, she always takes precedence haha. And she’ll be done early because she has to wake up early.

And Genesis is flaky, but she seems to want to.

—-

Hung out with Axxxxx fur a good chunk of time. We went to our usual rounds: goodwill, Walmart, Ross, DD, Plato’s closet. We had some good laughs and she even touched me when joking. She hasn’t really been like that since we started hanging again.

I wonder what it means. Is she opening back up to me? Shall we continue down this road?

She wants to go to Disney on Wednesday or Thursday when I’m off. I’m down always to spend some time with her.

To discuss still:

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Jimmy Eat World - Clarity

The pixies - surfer Rosa

Frank n dank - 48 hours

Aloha - little windows cut right through

Watching:

DaThings1 YouTube poops

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

Ghostbusters Kenner vintage action figures

Star Wars Power if the force (potf) card backs

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“What comes easy never stays” - your new aesthetic by Jimmy Eat World

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.22.18

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Notable places visited:

BAMF - my toy store that I recently discovered; went there today because they were having a vinyl record garage sale.

Listening to:

Sense Field - Tonite and Forever

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

PUP - the dream Is over

Deadmau5 - random album title

NOFX - punk in drublic

Pocahontas soundtrack

Giorgio Moroder - metropolis soundtrack

Aloha - little windows cut right through

Bjork - telegram

Slow dancing society - my blue heaven

Watching:

DaThings1 YouTube poops

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

Vinyl record find from BAMF vinyl garage sale

J Dilla / Frank n dank - 48 hours instrumentals

Piebald - accidental gentleman

Piebald - all eyes all ears all the time

Beatles - white album early 70s apple press

Giorgio Moroder - Metropolis soundtrack

An assortment of toys including a broken Nakanari Spiki

Ghostbusters vintage Kenner figures

Vintage Robotech Macross figure

Star Wars hologram Darth Vader figure

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“What I love most about rivers is, you can’t step in the same river twice, the waters always changing always flowing” - just around the river bend from Pocahontas

“Cause i’m a weed connoisseur, smoke the weed du jour, you might yak up a lung if the weed is pure” - Frank n Dank

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.21.18

Traffic. Fuck the traffic.

I turned in the Altima today. I’m going to use Tina Watkins’ car until she comes back from out of town. Which will be Jan 2 I believe. I miss the car. It was nice. Pretty much made it my own for the time I had it. Probably like two months.

Work was slow.

This Walmart is damn full of people. They actually have multiple lanes open. This is at 12 am mind you.

To discuss still:

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.20.18

The rental car has been draining my funds; Tina Watkins is out of town for a couple weeks and left her car, so I just worked out a deal with her to use the car until then.

Your boy needs to get a vehicle. I’m planning on getting one with my income tax return for sure.

—-

“The death of Santiago”

My uncle died today. Saul’s brother.

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.19.18

Waiting in line at my P.O. Box post office. Apparently I have a windfall of packages being held back there. Which isn’t too uncommon but it says there’s something too big for the box. Which everything is too big for the box, that’s why they have the lockers.

This is amateur month at the postal service for sure. Christmas and the holidays and all that. People packing things while they’re IN LINE. Shit is blasphemy haha. People grabbing random tape and using it putting it back.

I have to pee. Should’ve gone before getting in this line.

Work later. I’ve had a few days off and I don’t particularly want to get back in the groove, but your boy needs monies.

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Hobo Johnson - the rise of hobo Johnson

Some Stevie wonder / Beethoven mashup YouTube vid Frank sent me

Alton Ellis & the flames - mr. soul of Jamaica

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.18.18

My sister sent me a snap asking when I was coming to Bradenton for Christmas. I have to respond.

She’s going through a divorce. Well she’s at the end of it. She’s ok, so no worries. She didn’t want to get married in the first place.

I just texted her ex husband Ryan. I’ve always liked the kid.

Long story short the divorce is probably gonna work out for my mother in terms of her health because now the three grandchildren won’t be there half the week.

Ryan wrote back. He’s ok, and appreciative I wrote. Well good.

—

So, once again the universe works in interesting ways. I decided to take the scenic route to my space from my P.O. Box; I wanted to drive by where the old studio apartment I used to live (c. 2004) in was. It’s since become a 4 unit rental property. But I wanted to drive by it for the nostalgia.

So I get to where it is, and one house over, on the corner house, I see the Sushi and Seoul on a Roll sushi truck parked in the driveway.

This truck is own by one Alfred Ruiz, also known to me and Aaron Tobin as our ex best friend and one time bandmate.

A rush of blood came over me. Perpetuated by the fact that as I drove by, Al himself walked out of the house and popped into the truck, presumable with some provisions in tow under his arm.

I drove on by.

Halfway up the road I said to myself, fuck it, I’m going to go back and say hey to him. So I threw the Altima in reverse and rolled back.

The was still in the truck so I honked twice and came the popped out.

I’ll say that he and I haven’t spoken in years. Properly anyway.

So I basically made my peace with him. I’ll have to tell you the backstory at some point. I’ll add it to the list.

I told him if the ever wanted to open a dialog that I as open to it.

I know I really shocked the shit out of him showing up randomly.

Sorry to have sprung that on him but damn, to randomly drive by a place, and then for a landmark (the food truck) to say hey, here’s your boy occupying the same space you have earlier in time, and further, for him to be walking out as I was drying by… I had to stop. I felt compelled.

—

And I spoke to Aaron Tobin today. He hit me up on the phone earlier and we chatted, but the got interrupted by a phone call. I called back but no answer. I told him I was just gonna come over if the kept acting like this, and I did.

Showed up to the house and he was just getting out of the shower. I chatted with his mom for awhile, let her know I’m thinking about cutting my hair, and i’ll have to get back to her on a day I’m free.

So we went on our normal rounds: Starbucks, and Walmart. I was messaging with Axxxxx all the while, and it was at this point that she took the time to mention that I drink too much coffee. I can easily confirm that, especially the last two days where I havent been eating much of anything until the later hours in the day, and as sci have been feeling the effects of too much caffeine on an empty stomach. it just gives me an all over general icky feeling.

So Tobin. he’s been seeing a girl, as it turns out. Now he mentioned this a few weeks back, that he was going on a date with someone. This is still the same someone. Ashley is her name.

Story here is that it seems to have been little hot and heavy between them, which I can support this for him because its been a hot minute since he’s had some nice chemistry with a girl.

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Hard Girls - floating now

Jay Z - 4:44

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Macross new action figure from GameStop. Togo. Was with me

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“What’s the point of having a voice when it gets sick inside your throat?” - Jeff Rosenstock

“I’m a Dutch landscape painter painting pictures of the hillside in the eighteenth century where I was wishing I was living so I wouldn’t have to face all of the things I’m trying to ruin” - Katie Ellen

Quote of the day:

“Heyy hope the grind isn’t brutal. Hope the workers aren’t annoying or dramatic. Hope you’re not in the truck. And I hope that they started allowing headphones so you can tune out the world while you’re there” - me

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.17.18

To discuss still:

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

The world is a beautiful place & I am no longer afraid to die - harmlessness

American Football - lp2

Lifted bells - minor tantrums

Blue oyster cult - Spectres

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Born as a data mine for targeted marketing, and no one will listen up until you become a hashtag or a meme” - Jeff Rosenstock

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.16.18

Interesting day. Currently at a Christmas get together at this girl I’ve been mentioning Sxxxxxxxx house.

—

Before that I was with Axxxxx. She hit me up today while she was at work and wanted to hang afterward. She was initially going to get food with her friends from work or some other, but she ended up linking up with me directly after work to get food. She doesn’t have to put on a game face she said, or something along that line.

She and I chatted. We met at a steak and shake off Semoran and then went to a Chinese buffet which was horrible, we both agreed on that.

We chatted and smoked in my car afterward. She doesn’t know what to make of her feelings. I can respect that. We have a history and while she says she currently hates me, we seem to be getting along when we do meet up.

—-

5:30 am and driving home from Winter Garden to Altamonte Springs. I ended up getting Starbucks because it was so damn late/early that they’re open. Made it all the way home from Winter Garden, late as shit.

6:40 am and I have FFXIV up and running.

Also Tina is gone as of today, out of town to Ohio until a couple weeks go by.

To discuss still:

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Notable places visited:

Sxxxxxxxx house for a Christmas get together.

Listening to:

National Skyline - love letters for the disenchanted

Hum - downwards heavenward

Eagle Scout - new hands

Black belt Eagle Scout - mother of my children

Kanye west - the life of Pablo

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Vintage star wars figures:

Leia

Logray

Teebo

ReAction Buffy the vampire slayer toys

Breaking bad Walter white figure

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.15.18

Finally got down to 189 lbs! This is a milestone getting down into the 180s. Brilliant. Nice progress son.

—-

Remind me to tell you about what Sxxxxxxxx wants to do with her remains.

Cremated

Ashes imbued into art to be viewed by people on lsd/shrooms etc

To discuss still:

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I’m like a magnet pulling the storm,

Where can I move when it always finds me?” - Jeff Rosenstock

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.14.18

Randomly encountered Sxxxxxxxx from work over in my current hood, Altamonte. She was at some Christmas party as a plus one. She was having a great time as indicated by her snaps, until she wasn’t.

And then she called me.

Her tears spilled into my lap through her phone. She went in to her woes.

To be continued mañana. Your boy is falling asleep.

Remind me to tell you about the dope sick lady and Sxxxxxxxx dying wishes.

To discuss still:

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Action figures

Lyric of the day:

“Hope is a scheme” - Jeff Rosenstock

“As much as I definitely enjoy solitudes, I wouldn’t perhaps mind spending a little time with you” - Bjork

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.13.18

So Axxxxx messaged me earlier in the afternoon, chatting about this and that. She had been crying and hysterical about the loss of our child (refer to the Alaska diary)

Long story short we are now meeting for a late lunch at her behest. Again I don’t know what to expect. She says she hates me but I feel like she says it to try and remind herself that she does. But I don’t think she has it in her heart to harbor such feelings, not on any permanent basis.

I mean listen, the last time she wrote me and we met, she said she was tired of having the hate.

—

So we hung out for a good seven hours.

To discuss still:

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“ I haven’t felt quite like myself, for months on end, I spend more nights on the floor than in my own bed. And I never see my family or friends anymore, and I write more apologies than metaphors” - PUP

“You know I’ve never been good at anything, except for fucking Up and ruining everything” - PUP

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.12.18

Met with frank yesterday. Always a good chat. He is coming around finally to the idea of getting me caught up with music. Also we are going to work on him getting more success with Tokyo Elvis. Meaning, were gonna work on the marketing aspect etc.

—

On a wild goose chase to get weed for Tina and Gxxxxx. And some for myself because why not I guess. Even tho I like wax and oil.

So the short story on my mother have g a heart attack is that it was very mild. She thought that she was having pain related to a gallbladder issue she was having.

I don’t want to say that our sister Jessica was a contributing factor to our mothers deteriorating health but, it’s got to be.

My mother worries about my sister because she’s burned all bridges and lives on the streets mostly.

—-

I need to get back on grinding. The somm course took up my time and energy this past month. I was a little anxious but overcame.

Now I need to focus

—

I think your body knows when you like someone when your dick gets hard while you’re on the phone with em.

Befriended a kid at a smoke shop, whilst buying a grinder. It came up that I worked at STK and the was like, ‘you must know Yaqeen’ and I just had a smile come over me.

That mofo knows everyone.

To discuss still:

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Getting back into FFXIV

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

American Football - LP3 pre release track

American Football - LP2

Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?

PUP - PUP

ALL - problematic

Voodoo glow skulls - symbolic

Tash Sultana - notion

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

FFXIV baby

Purchases:

An ounce of weed for $180, to be divided up amongst me and Tina and Gxxxxx

A legit pink grinder that Axxxxx would be proud and jealous of

Good Fuck pre order (a Tim Kinsella project)

Robotech Macross loose figure

Nightmare before Christmas pumpkin king figure

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I live in a two way mirror, I am backwards, you are forward” - birthmark

“And I dreamt of you in Montreal, in places I’ve never been before” - PUP

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.11.18

To discuss still:

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

American Football LP3 records and tape and shirt

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Name one genius that ain’t crazy” - Kanye

“Steve Jobs mixed with Steve Austin” - Kanye

“Crazy were the words that scribbled out your mouth” - coheed and Cambria

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.10.18

Coffee. Traffic. Dying to get my weight down in the 180’s. Old woman liberally using the word ‘fuck’ in my storage space.

—

This guy at the outback bar said said to the woman bartender ‘whenever you get a dull moment I’ll take the check’; I enjoyed that phrase.

—

Just chipped off part of what I believe (and hope) is my back right bottom wood tooth. Around 7:15 pm at the Outback Steakhouse by the Orlando airport. Eating a wedge salad. Must’ve been a piece of bacon.

—

And the night continues to get interesting. Just hung with Gxxxxx for a bit... and I must say it was an interesting turn of events.

How about the bullet points:

She’s done with her husband (honestly the short story is she done been done)

She wants to bang me

We are going to meet tomorrow

I was bringing her some weed earlier tonite and she comes out and grabs me and kisses me on the mouth. We go to the car (my rented Nissan Altima) and chat. She catches me up on the whole thing. The short story here is that right before she got cancer (she’s done with it now, all healed up) she was on her way out of the relationship anyway. She told me that as it was happening.

She is apparently really fucking into me. Now she and I have always had more than just friendship between us. And it’s pretty much been understood that we were going to bang at some point.

That being said it’s going on ten years.

This is going to be interesting how this plays out. She wants to steal me away from Tina as a roommate, which I am on board with.

To discuss still:

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Chris Farren - can’t die

Small brown bike - fell & found

Small brown bike - the river bed

Kanye West - the life of Pablo

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Wheat grass juice powder

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Ribeye from outback steakhouse. Lots of meat this week haha. Wedge salad extra crumbles and dressing.

Clear American ice cherry lemonade

Playing:

Purchases:

ReAction toys:

Predator

Terminator 2 John Connor

Terminator 2 t-800

Terminator 2 t-1000

Firefly: Zoe, Jayne, kaylee

Firefly Washburn

Robotech Dana sterling action figure

Edward Scissorhands weird Japanese figure, Hobby Base Yellow Submarine toy company

Charles Band’s puppet master ‘blade’ toy. Another weird company called Full Moon collectibles

Also, I didn’t really ‘purchase’ it, but I got a iPhone XR on lease with option to buy. Upgradable any time I want. Got the red one.

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Action figures

Lyric of the day:

“ you are the ocean, I am the sea; what drowns in you will float in me” Small Brown Bike

“I know there’s bitches you wish you could unfollow,

I know there’s niggas you wish you could unswallow” - Kanye

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.09.18

Starbucks. Ribeyes. Storage space. Habits.

Sorting through the space a little. I need to make some room for the giant Game Cube display my brother is bringing up

To discuss still:

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Gwen Stefani - love angel music baby

Jeff Rosenstock - I look like shit

My chill mix

Fake problems - real ghosts caught on tape

Antarctigo Vespucci - soulmate stuff

Antarctigo Vespucci - love in the time of email

Kanye west - life of Pablo

Kanye west - graduation

Watching:

Somm on Netflix

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Wheat grass juice powder

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Outback ribeye and wedge salad and green beans

Playing:

Purchases:

Final Fantasy crystal chronicles, Japanese version for Game Cube

Squid head - vintage Star Wars

Packages received:

No post on Sunday

But I opened these:

Devil boy by Iconoclast

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

0 notes