#but it served the purpose of making me want to do choral singing again so I think I will sign up for some voice lessons

[whentherewerebicycles]

ugh I do not feel well today—tired tired tired and feeling pretty drained from the last couple weeks. I’m excited to see all my grad school friends but phew I will be glad to hibernate for a bit on the other side of this long weekend. also when will my sense of taste return from war… there are some random things I can still sort of taste (raspberries, corn) and some that taste/smell like nothing to me (yogurt, cinnamon, nectarines, greens) and then some that taste intensely and unpleasantly metallic (this falafel I ate the other day). it’s very unsettling!!!! I never tested positive for COVID but I had a whole day of exposure to my sister two days before she tested positive… apart from losing my sense of smell/taste the only other weird symptoms I can remember having in that window of possible infection are fatigue, GI issues, and persistent muscle/joint aches, but without really a feeling of “feeling sick” (I actually have felt much more “am I sick? I kinda feel sick”) this week. anyway whatever. I apparently can’t get a PCR test covered by insurance anymore unless I go to an urgent care for it and I’m not paying $125 out of pocket. I wonder if I should mask at the wedding or if I’m in the clear since I’m testing negative. mm whatever I’ll figure it out. onward…

I ended up having a pretty productive meeting with [redacted] yesterday, which was good! I am trying to avoid doing the thing where I form such a negative mental image of a person or situation that I lose the ability to see any of the positive interactions. making it really clear that I needed her to read/comment on the project plans before we met REALLY helped. I think I will just try to make that an expectation moving forward—like if she doesn’t have time to read something I’ll ask that we not discuss that project until the next time. I’m not asking her to read like 10 page docs it’s usually just a 1-2 page writeup so I think that’s a reasonable ask. she gave me useful feedback on which projects to prioritize and on how to identify & cultivate strategic partnerships that advance the work instead of spreading ourselves too thin making lots of small promises to lots of people. so all good. also she is soooooooo excited about this program we are going to pilot and I think that is earning me a lot of goodwill. I guess the higher-up chancellor is also really interested and has floated the idea of giving us $$ from discretionary funds to try out some of the more ambitious elements. I feel like I now have a clear sense of direction and have been given explicit permission to carve out time each week to work on program/curriculum development (my beloved). so that’s v positive!!

mmkay. I worked a bunch this weekend so I could take today mostly off to pack and run errands before the wedding. I have a long to-do list so I’ll do that in a separate post.

[esinofsardis]

Can we take a moment and talk about the Plagues song from Prince of Egypt?? Cause it makes me FEEL things and I have THOUGHTS.

So this song serves as musical foil to the last song: Playing with the Big Boys. What strikes me as most similar is the combination in both of choral and soloist parts and how they’re used

In Big Boys, the chorus chants the names of the Egyptian gods, invoking their names to ask for their power. This invocation is done by the priests so that the priests can act. It’s a threatening song and the threats are made by the priests on their gods’ (and their god pharaoh’s) behalf

However when we get Plagues, we have another threatening song but I want to look at agency here

The chorus begins by repeating “Thus saith the LORD” and then they speak as He did. Now, instead of calling to the gods who remain silent, God himself speaks—an act of agency. The God of the Israelites is there, present, and speaking of His own accord

Also the beginning sounds like snakes hissing, mocking further the snakes the Egyptian priests transformed

The next line is “Since you refuse to free my people, all through the land of Egypt”. This sets the reason for the plagues: it is the consequence for human action (more on that later)

Musically, the chorus’ lines are similar to the listing of the gods in Big Boys in that they are an invocation, but this time God speaks it into being—which is an important biblical thing in general (“let there be light” etc)

So now we get to the solos. The melodies are a reprise of All I Ever Wanted from earlier. Once again, this melody shows intense internal struggle

Moses talks about how he’s his brothers foe on God’s behalf. I think it’s interesting how the word gives God agency here through Moses, whereas in Big Boys, the agency is implied to the priests, who’s gods act on their will. The priests of Egypt in this story do things as gifts for their gods while Moses is called to be acted through

Here we get to how it’s because of Ramses that this is all happening. Moses says it’s “because of your stubbornness and pride” that the people suffer

*cue theology of human agency, short version*

The idea thats important here is that God respects human choices and actions. He could prevent Ramses from having his head up his ass, but God doesn’t. Which becomes important for the Christian narrative of salvation

We also get the word “scourge” in the chorus’ part here. This word is archaic but implies a painful cleaning. Which I think is interesting when thinking about the purpose of the plagues: they’re a lesson by fire, and I think it’s interesting to think about them in terms of cleansing the land/pharaoh’s heart

Annnnnd Ramses’ solo (yes he’s sung by Voldemort and no I can’t get over that)

The most interesting word here is hate. “How could you come to hate me so?” he sings. I think it’s pretty clear from Moses’ lines that he doesn’t hate Ramses—much the opposite. Yet Ramses feels hated because Moses is challenging him

Ramses is objectively in the wrong here. He’s the slave master. He’s the abuser. Yet he feels hated. I think this is such a good line because people react like this all the time.

Which then makes me question when it’s actually a moral good to make someone hate you—here, Moses (via God) is rescuing thousands from deep suffering. But it’s causing Ramses deep pain in return. Even still I would argue that Ramses’ pain here is important here and shouldn’t be a reason for Moses to not act for the good of his people. It instead is a refiner’s fire, pushing Ramses to a place where he does let the people go.

I think this says a lot of interesting things about how God can work through human systems and choices. I think it also challenges the cultural idea of protecting others from the painful consequences of their actions. I’m not talking punishment because the plagues aren’t that. They’re a scourge—cleansing by fire.

So then Ramses says “Then let my heart be hardened, and never mind how high the cost may grow”. Wow. This also I think really does interesting things with the passive voice used in the biblical text that can be so confusing. Here, Ramses doesn’t harden his heart but he welcomes the hardening. I think this sentiment is really clarifying.

All that to say, this song is part of a cinematic MASTERPIECE. I’m in love with the gorgeous music but I also love how it really has good theology and points about responsibility when you track the agency of each person

[justhereforseverus]

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet

Chapter 3: If Music be the Food of Love Play on

The next day I agreed to have lunch with Remus after a rather wild literature class discussing Jane Eyre’s parallels to witches in the muggle world. He always looked a bit worn down but that is more due to his werewolf condition. Thankfully Dumbledore supports him unconditionally and defended him eagerly against any Slytherin parents wanting to leave his teaching position. Although, most of the students love him, and I can see why. He is very down-to-earth and doesn’t judge based on appearance, house or gender. He is the teacher that knows when something is wrong and tries to help you. A sweetheart really. Yet, I know he doesn’t have it easy and the daily bickering of rich parents and the Slytherin house take its toll. I trusted him from the first moment I met him and I appreciate his openness and general chill attitude. I told him about the events of yesterday and mentioned my rather unusual encounter with Severus. He almost spit out his tea – “Wow, ok. I’d never expected him to voluntarily watch the stars with someone. That sounds so romantic™ – here he jokingly slurred his language and pretended to flirt with me - I mean, I’ve known him for so long and our relationship is certainly…. complicated. Nevertheless, that is one side I’ve never seen nor expected of him. Who would’ve thought our little dungeon bat would sit on a bench with a woman while longingly looking at the stars. Maybe he’s gone soft over the years.” – he told me. I asked him what he meant: “Well, you see. He is very hard-working, focused.. always soooo focused on anything he does. A perfectionist quiet often. I respect him for that despite our history and, frankly, hatred for each other. But he never seemed to have time for such things that are outside his work, or anything really that makes life enjoyable. Little things that make people normal. “– here he paused and played a bit with his fork in the food. “On the other side, he could hide it very well. He was always a very buttoned-up person but that’s understandable with his past. I don’t think anyone actually knows him these days apart from Dumbledore maybe.” Here we both paused a bit in reflection. He might be right. I don’t know anything about him. After the first meetings, I also never thought we would have much contact with each other, apart from great feasts and faculty meetings. It’s certainly strange.

After seeing a poster on the wall, I thought of something: “To change the topic a bit – are you going to the concert, today, Remus?” He sighed and said: “Do we really have a choice? I think all teachers have to be present because who else should listen to 2 hours of choral songs” – he winked and continued: “I mean, our choir is not bad per se but I have heard their rehearsals next door for weeks now and I’m not sure it’s going to be headache-free. Their last concert was also disastrous.” I commented: “Oh, come on. Now you’re just mean. Is that appropriate for the most popular teacher at Hogwarts?” – He replied: “Oh, stop it! My preference for music sung in tune won’t endanger my position. But I could use some new competition for a change.” Of course, my answer was: “Challenge accepted!”

Later I arrived in the Great Hall, which has been transformed into a very fancy concert hall with red-velvet seats and a stage fit for the best choir in the whole country. Indeed, most of the teachers have already taken their seats near the front stage. Some were standing around talking to students and colleagues. Though the concert is not mandatory to attend for students most of them welcomed the change of pace. In contrast to literature and theatre, music has its place in the wizarding world starting from the rather cringy school themes to the holistic themes of the Merlin symphony. Music is a tool for concentration and bonding – thus it serves a clear purpose for the wizards and witches. After having a look at the stage, Minerva offered me a seat next to her “Come on, dear. Nice to see you. I hope you enjoy your first concert at Hogwarts. I swear it’s tolerable most of the time.” I smiled, thanked her and sat down. After some minutes of conversation about tea, the latest edition of the magazine “Baking magical sweets for any occasion” and the last transformation exam, the choir took its place on the stage. While they were still shuffling with their sheet notes, I suddenly felt a person taking a seat next to me. I thought it might have been Remus as he still was deep in conversation with Flitwick when I arrived. To my surprise though, it was Severus. He nodded at me and let out a silent hello, as the choir started to sing. I did the same but then focused on whatever was going on in front of me. It flattered me but still I felt unsure. I looked around to see if there were any other seats available and yes, indeed they are many available to choose from. Thus, he didn’t have to sit next to me, but it might have been an active choice. Though, I know that he often sits next to Minerva. Somehow, they both seem to get along well despite their differences and the constant rivalry of their houses. But I don’t think that this was the main reason. Or am I reading too much into this? Oh, gosh, yes, I AM reading too much into this. Yes, absolutely. It’s a perfectly normal action, sitting next to colleagues. Also why do I care? Why do I care that he is so close to me again? Why am I feeling his body next to me despite not touching? What is wrong with me? Ok, back to the concert. Calm down.

I was pleasantly surprised as, apart from one or two wrongly sung notes, the songs have been performed well. One second year Hufflepuff also performed a smashing solo and was applauded for many minutes afterwards. Afterwards, Minerva said to me “Well, that was way better than last year’s performance. They have improved tremendously! You should have been there back then. I’ve never heard such mutilation of beautiful songs before. It was very entertaining though. We poked fun at Flitwick for a month. We might have overdone it a bit though…” . I agreed. I enjoyed it much despite the distraction in form of a tall man dressed in black next to me. I looked to my side and Severus had already stood up and made his way out of the hall. Pity, I’d love to hear his opinion on the performance. That reminds me. He still owes me a potion.

[bethagain]

Crowley and Aziraphale both love music, but it’s not until after they’re on their own side that they can finally sing together.

Day EIGHT of the 31 Days of Ineffables challenge started by @drawlight. Today’s prompt was choir. I am deeply clueless about musical things, but I gave it my best shot. 

I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up but it’s already a longer run of new creative ideas than I’ve had in… ever? Also on AO3. 

———–

Time Now to Write a New Song

Angels were built for many different purposes. Some were made to carry the word of God. They are fearsome in their shape and demeanor. They remind wayward men that there is a higher power, and they warn of consequences for those who forget. 

Some are symbols of justice. For God’s favored humans, they appear as beings of light, white robes and wings and sandals and all. They have an entirely different aspect when someone misbehaves in a way that catches Her eye. Everyone knows it’s Hell’s domain to carry out the actual punishment, but that horrifying nightmare creature pointing its finger toward the fires below? Yeah, that’s an angel.

Some angels exist simply to sing praises to God. Aziraphale always thought that was a little strange, to invent your own groupies and insist they stand around your throne shouting praises all the time. But then, She was ineffable. It wasn’t his place to understand.   

Aziraphale knew angels from these other orders, of course, but mostly just well enough to say hello in Heaven’s hallways. Only the higher-level staff, like Gabriel and Michael, had cross-order meetings on the regular. The main opportunity for the middle-level angels–the Principalities, the Virtues, the personal Guardian Angels–to cross paths with the rest was in the Choir.

That’s one of the things that all angels, regardless of their purpose, have in common. Every single angel, since the very dawn of time, has been created with a perfect singing voice built in.

Aziraphale would show up to Choir practice, and he’d take his place in the celestial harmonies. He’d hit each note perfectly every time, because it was impossible for an angel not to. Crystalline voices would fill all of Heaven’s realms.

Good lord, it was tedious. 

It’s a good thing singing comes easy to an angel, because–depending on the century–Aziraphale would spend the time wondering if he’d be able to get over to Italy for Monteverdi’s new opera. Or, what Beethoven was up to these days. Or if that Scott Joplin, with the interesting ragtime music, had anything new in the works.

Hell has its own rules about music. When an angel is cast out of heaven, they lose their closeness to God, and they lose their state of grace. What’s less commonly known is that they get to keep their singing voices. 

You might think that’s a lucky oversight. Until you hear Hell’s choir. 

In Hell’s concert halls, harmony is forbidden. Dissonance is the goal, the more grating the better. The things that win music awards in Hell are cacophony and discord. The closer you can get to fingernails on a blackboard, the more praise you’ll get from Satan.1

Crowley went through the motions. He’d make the effort to find exactly the wrong note. Sing in the wrong key. Miss the beat by just enough to throw off the demon next to him, too.

He couldn’t say so, of course, but he hated it. 

It made his corporation’s head hurt. He could feel his teeth vibrate with the clashing tones. If he’d been human, the decibel level would probably have blown out his eardrums. 

The worst part of all, though, was that demons weren’t allowed to sing any other way. 

Over the years, music became a way Aziraphale could touch the lives of humans. He sang in church choirs, mostly remembering that his corporation wasn’t supposed to be a tenor. And especially not a soprano. He joined in with sailors singing sea shanties, with soldiers chanting as they marched. He hummed, sometimes, as he puttered about his bookshop, and would-be customers would linger among the shelves to listen. 

Over the years, Crowley collected records, then cassettes, then CDs. 

Sometime around the 1980s, Aziraphale got involved with a local a cappella group. They sang in a nearby church basement, the sound rising up through its street-level windows. 

Crowley found excuses to walk by.

“You never sing,” Aziraphale said once, hundreds of years ago, as they sat listening to a minstrel and he caught Crowley tapping his foot.

“Nah,” Crowley said. “I can, but you wouldn’t want to hear it.”

A few months after Armageddon wasn’t, when it looked like maybe Heaven and Hell really would be leaving them alone, Aziraphale lifted his hand to knock on the door of Crowley’s flat. He hadn’t been invited, precisely, but Crowley had said “come by anytime.” 

Aziraphale hoped the invitation still stood. It had taken him a few weeks to work up the nerve to actually do it. 

Crowley came to the door looking confused. “Everything all right, Angel?” Behind him, Aziraphale could hear the television.

“Yes,” he found himself stuttering. He held up a bottle of scotch. “I just thought… was in the neighborhood…”

“Oh. Right.” Crowley still looked uncertain, but he stood back to let Aziraphale in, then headed for the room with the TV on the wall. “Let me turn this off.”

Aziraphale, following him, caught a glimpse of the screen, where Bea Arthur was at the refrigerator, about to bring out a cheesecake. “Oh, I like this show!”

Crowley paused, remote control in hand.

A little bit later, they were sitting at opposite ends of Crowley’s sleek leather sofa, each on their second tumbler of scotch. Crowley’s kitchen, always ready to serve, had produced a cheesecake in a box from Melrose and Morgan. The episode of Golden Girls came to a close, credits rolled, and a new episode followed. 

Aziraphale, more comfortable than he’d been in a while–belly full of cheesecake, head light with scotch, and possibly an actual, real friend sitting beside him–found himself singing along with the theme song. 

To his astonishment, beside him, a soft baritone voice joined in.

It’s good that the walls in Crowley’s building were thick, because by morning, they’d figured out a half-dozen harmonies on the Golden Girls theme song, moved on to the choral section of Beethoven’s Ninth, messed about with some Gregorian chants, and now, as the sun peeked over the horizon, were drunkenly matching each other note for note on the chorus of “Stand By Me.”

“I should go,” Aziraphale said when the song was done. The cheesecake was gone and the scotch bottle was empty. He didn’t want to overstay his welcome. 

“All right,” Crowley said, not making a move to get up.

Aziraphale wasn’t sure if that was a signal to go–can’t be bothered to see you to the door–or an invitation to stay. He scooted to the edge of the sofa cushion, then brushed the wrinkles from his trousers and straightened his waistcoat as he stood. “Maybe we could do this again sometime? You could teach me to sing some of that be-bop.”

All Crowley said was, “Sure,” but his sudden smile was an unmistakable yes.

1Mostly Satan’s praise consists of things like not being tossed into a pit of despair this week. Or not being abandoned in darkness. Which are things you would hope weren’t going to happen anyway. If Satan’s really impressed, though, you might be let off the hook for the team-building activities at the next demonic all-staff meeting.