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multifandom-girlie · 3 years

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𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐌𝐞

Imagine: You used to be a man until you wanted a sex change. You became a girl but when you met Elijah you feel slightly insecure and he reassures you your perfect.

Pairings: Elijah x Transgender!Human!Reader

Warnings: fluff

Words: 1033

My inspiration to write this imagine and a couple of others one of my favourites: @idjitbabysitter 💕.

A/N: This imagine was purely wrote because of the lack of imagines about this particular topic for the tvd fandom. I think equality is extremely important and that’s why I want to write more of these ! If this offends anyone I do apologise, that’s really NOT my intention. It’s purely for enjoyment purposes :)

I rolled over in the thick satin sheets of Elijah’s bed. Groaning at the intense rays of sunlight flooding the room. The expectation that I was going to finish my roll by landing on a cold and empty right side of the bed was massively wrong. Not only was it warm, it wasn’t empty. Elijah was for once still in bed when I wake up in the morning. I peeked my eyes open slightly to see his warm umber eyes staring into my own in happiness.

“I wasn’t expecting you to still be in my bed, ‘Lijah.”

He chuckled and kissed me on the forehead zealously before pulling away again and replying to my statement.

“Neither was I. However I came to realise that I didn’t actually have anything to do all day today, i’m all yours my love.”

My eyes became animated with excitement. We never got to do that; have a day where it’s just us and no one else. Free to do whatever we want, no disruptions.

“I’m more than glad about that, handsome.”

He grinned at me widely and placed a kiss on my lips, which I returned with a smile. The small kiss he placed was leading to a further destination when I put it to a stop and pulled away. Elijah’s eyes where the definition of confusion in that moment in time, I placed another kiss on his lips or stop his thought of worry and jumped out of bed.

“Don’t worry Mr Mikaelson. Believe me I really want to go there but not before I’ve had a shower.”

He flipped back onto the bed and I smiled and then walked over to the mirror. My smiled dropped a little seeing the scars littering my body. Initially the thought of becoming a girl was everything I dreamed of no matter the consequences. Only was it when it finally happened that I felt more need to not show myself off, sounds weird I know but when you’ve practically lived in a hospital your whole life and have a variety of scars all over you; some people are insecure.

Now I think about it, It probably wouldn’t have been so bad-the scars-if the first survey didn’t go wrong. When they started everything was going fine, except one of the surgeons where hugely clued out on what the surgery was. So they didn’t know what they were doing until being quickly briefed, although they’d already cut me open and I lost a lot of blood so they had to postpone my surgery. It was postponed a lot as well as I had a really rare blood type, AB Negative. So, if I lost to much blood again it could be dangerous and fatal. They almost told me that they weren’t willing to do my surgery at all as they couldn’t find any blood and they didn’t want to lose a patient.

Luckily my dad was chief of surgery and told them to do the surgery and he donated some blood, which definitely worked well in my favour. The rest of the scars on me are from other surgeries, like my SRS(Sex Reassignment Surgery.) I never went half way with anything and being a normal girl was my dream, so I wanted to be a girl inside and out. Whatever it took.

Now, here we are. Five years later, living with the love of my life and just now worried that he’s gonna hate me for being who I am. My frown deepened thinking that maybe secretly he does have a problem but because he’s a good man it wouldn’t say anything. I heard the ruffling of sheets behind me and Elijah looking at me through the mirror. He jumped up and sped over to me, circling his arms around my waist.

“What’s that frown for, my love ?”

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on his shoulder. His fingers lightly traced the scars going down my abdomen.

“Do you care Elijah ? About who I am ? About my scars ?”

He closed his eyes and leaned down to kiss my neck lovingly, with no other intentions.

“Of course I don’t, Y/N. I love you. I don’t care that you used to be a male. I don’t care that people shame me for dating you because of it. I do care about you though. I believe your beautiful. I believe your are a women. If it’s what you identity as, then it’s what’s you are. It doesn’t matter whether you didn’t have your surgeries or you did. Even if you didn’t, I would still consider you as such. The scars are beautiful, don’t treat them as burdens or ugly. They’re beautiful.”

I stared at him through the mirror, tears streaming down my face. He has a way with words but that was everything I’ve wanted to hear since I was a child. My love for this man never differs. I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“What you just said was quite possibly the best thing I’ve ever heard and you heard how beautiful the vows were at my mom’s wedding.”

We chuckled together and kissed passionately.

“It did and they were beautiful. You know how I label myself the Noble man and I always tell the truth but I can guarantee you now, no truer words have I ever spoken.”

I hugged him as tightly as I could and couldn’t believe that the one of a kind man stood in front of me was actually here and no just in my dreams.

“I love you Miss Y/L/N.”

“I love you Mr Mikaelson.”

He pulled away from the hug and placed a gentle kiss on my lips before speaking.

“Now, can I take you to that bed and release every inch of love I have for you all over that beautiful body. Your making me starving.”

I chuckled at his forward-ness but nodded nonetheless. He picked me up as I squealed and he threw me on the bed and he did exactly as he asked.

I am beautiful.

No matter what.

He really makes me feel as beautiful as he always says too.

MASTERLIST

#elijah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson imagine #elijah mikaelson x reader #transgender #equality #the vampire diaries #the originals #tvd imagine #tvd #to imagine #to

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demenior · 3 years

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Dem’s Big Post About The Spn Fics Part 1/2

aka The Wrap Up to celebrate To Exist Again and To Become a Man now being finished!

(This will be a long post. This is your only warning.)

Admittedly this is a bit of a weird thing to be doing, but I wanted to try it out for 3 reasons:

I love talking about my own work and

It functions really well as a self-reflective tool for me to improve on, and

I can answer some big questions people might have because there was a LOT of worldbuilding in these stories.

We’ll start off with reflective stuff, and move into the juicier world-building focused stuff later into the post. There will be major spoilers for both fics to come!

To begin with a funny anecdote, Why Did I Write These Stories?

I was beginning to write and work out the story that I wanted to write for Spn (what will now be To Destroy a Man. As I was writing the scene, I realized I had a LOT of ideas and while I was trying to avoid as much exposition as I could, it became quickly apparent that I was needing to create my own au (this scene eventually became chapter 34 of To Become a Man). A short prequel seemed like a good idea, to quickly hash out the ‘prior’ events that I needed to go through so all the readers could be on the same page. While plotting out prequel points, I realized Sam and Dean were going to have drastically different experiences during the same time period, and I was trying to figure out who’s pov would be better for which scenes, and how to keep momentum when they’re going through such radically different types of changes. Ultimately I decided to split their povs, which I also thought would be a fun project! And I naively assumed each pov would take about 2 chapters each, rounding out to maybe 15k total.

I had my ending points: Dean n Cas soul-merged and (basically) married, Cas on the lam from heaven and a complete anomaly, and Sam juiced up full of powers and a weird mix of archangel and antichrist but still 100% human and ready to fight God.

Now I needed to add weight to these changes, so I wrote 200k of build-up.

Am I proud of these fics?

OF COURSE I AM!!! These are the longest fics I’ve ever written AND finished AND in the fastest freakin turnaround ever (both were finished writing, barring edits, in like 6 months holy shit)

I didn’t write a single scene that I “didn’t” want to write. If I had trouble writing it, as in it was fighting me, I scrapped it. Most obviously was the scene in Dean’s pov where he and Sam were intended to meet some other hunters and Dean declines working with them because he’s nervous about being outed as queer. It was meant to be a good scene! I wanted to introduce some new characters! But it just wasn’t working so I said ‘thank you, next!’.

But it means this story was an absolute joy to write. Because for a while all I was doing was ‘if I wanted to write one scene into supernatural, what would I write?’ and then just DID that!! It’s why there’s a lot of ‘Salmondean do dumb shit or have really dumb heartfelt conversations’ scenes.

Would I change anything?

If I’d been less eager to start sharing, I might have planned out the story beats a little tighter so there were less ‘soft’ chapters and a draw/pull for people to come back and keep reading. I felt Dean’s story specifically lagged at points and could have used some tighter editing (there was a noticeable lull in directed movement between Dean n Cas getting together, until Sam corrupts Amy).

I also probably would have held Sam’s story until I’d finished Dean’s so I could make the two line up better! Probably could have inserted more scenes into Sam’s fic that way, and made sure things were a little more consistent. In an ideal world one concept I had was to release 1 chapter from each pov every week that would correspond to the same time frame so we’d be getting real-time SalmonDean pov narrative. Unfortunately that didn’t work!

The biggest takeaway overall is for me to focus more on what moves the plot, and to make my scenes do more than 1 thing so I can cut down on wordcount and increase my efficiency.

Of course every writer will find things they want to fix in anything they’ve ever written, so these are minor “mistakes” at best. I’m so dang proud of these fics.

Onto more interesting things!

How Did I Put These Fics Together (because it’s different than anything I’ve ever done before)

Normally when I write a story, I plan out the beats I need to hit, see where I need to insert any kind of foreshadowing/buildup, and then write from A to B to C and so on and so forth. Hence, this is why I can normally post things as I complete chapters, because it’s all a linear progression.

For these two stories, rather than linear plot/a normal story structure, I just sat and free-wrote any and every scene that came to mind and then pieced them into a kinda-linear form like putting a quilt together. You’ll note that this is why there’s not a lot of internal callback or a feeling of sense of time flowing within the fic (save for points where I went back and specifically edited it in). How long does the story take place over? Hard to say! Your author has the barest grasp on linear time even on a good day (how many times did I say ‘see you on [wrong day]’ at the end of chapters lmaaoooo)

This also meant EXTENSIVE editing on the back end once I decided in what order I wanted my ‘quilt pieces’ to be. Hard to say if this is a bonus or a negative!

But I did want to try and capture the vibe of the lives they lead, as a bit of a ‘slice of life’-style story, when the slice of life is the profound weirdness of the Winchester roaming life, and how things are status quo- until everyone almost dies oh shit!! And then they have to keep living because no therapy we die/undie like Winchesters. Do I think I captured this effectively? Hmm. Good question.

Dem where the FUCK did the inspiration for a lot of the magic and creature weirdness even come from?

Honestly? Music, primarily. And completely mishearing lyrics!

Nightwish ‘Ever Dream’: the line is ‘my song can but borrow you grace’ and because my brain is scrambled eggs on a good day, I heard ‘grace’ ‘song’ and ‘borrow’ in that order and have had, for YEARS, the mental image of Cas borrowing Dean’s soul to power himself up for battle.

From there I’ve always been enamored with the ‘wavelength of celestial intent’ descriptor that Cas drops in s6 for “what he is”.

I also really like ocean metaphors mostly because I’ve been obsessed with the ocean and things in it since I was like… 5??? So really this was me just rolling with what I know lmao. I love using (somewhat) accurate scientific metaphors for very intangible things!

I was also finishing my degree in biology/ecology while writing these fics and I think it shows

Stars ‘The Night Starts Here’ gives us the series title and the fic titles. Except for ‘To Exist Again’. TEA was almost titled ‘The Upwards Fall’ because I wanted all 3 of the Main Stories to have titles from this song, but I couldn’t make anything else work in tandem with the series name ‘The Love It Takes’ while also working for Sam’s personal story. So Sam, as always, is the rebel <3

Stars ‘Up In Our Bedroom, After The War’ is basically the vibes of the whole story. TFW has been, literally, to hell and back!!! There’s a bit of melancholy and sadness, a lingering dark, but the chance of a bright new tomorrow and a soft start.

Let’s Talk About Themes in The Story! What were you looking to accomplish?

My earliest notes for TFW are, as follows:

Dean’s journey of self-discovery (who am I when I’m not trying to be Dad?)

Dean wants to settle down! He wants a big family! He wants to be domestic!

Basically: Dean doesn’t want to have a short life of hunting. He wants to live!

Dean’s journey of realizing he’s bi, and him accepting that

Dean’s relationship to Sam is both older brother/parent

And continuing Dean balancing these roles while also letting Sam be an adult

Dean’s Big Issues/Fears about never being good enough for people to want to stay with him (these are effectively highlighted in that Cas thinks he’s not useful enough to be wanted)

Sub Plot:

Castiel’s autonomy

Cas’ fall from grace, to trying to restore Heaven, to wrecking it further

He’s majorly depressed by the end of s7 (before purgatory)

Wants to stay in Purgatory but doesn’t tell Dean

Remains depressed after leaving, but resolved to keep living on because he’s clearly meant for something

After the seraphim reveal: does he have free will?! How does he grapple with this? How does he live in a way he can be proud of?

And lastly

Sam gets his powers back CAUSE THATS HOT

where tf did they go????

he got them from Lucifer?????

sleeper agent??????

Sam is The Chosen One

Accepts that he is More Than Human and to celebrate all parts of him

Lucifer and Sam friends?? Work together????

Sam needs autonomy in his choices/his life

If you compare these to the overall arc of TFW within the two stories, I think I got a lot of them! But you’ll also note a lot of these things aren’t concrete goals that are easily measurable (ex: Dean wants to learn to bake pie. In chapter 1 he starts a fire in the kitchen. By the end of the story he finally makes A Good Pie.) part of the lack of concrete milestones was why I felt it was important to tell Dean (and Cas’) story by going back to the point they meet, in s4! Dean’s gradual change towards his feelings for Cas, his relationship to Sam (heavily influenced by the s7 events of this fic) and then his own relationship with himself were such slow burns that I felt it would be a disservice to try and cram a change like that into a timeline like “1 year”.

I felt like these subtle changes and adjustments actually felt a lot truer to life-- people often change in very small, gradual ways over time, even without realizing it and often times not consistently! If only we could all gain skills like the sims, where we can easily level up and remain at that high level of performance!

So the Guy Who Ate Satan, A Celestial Nuke that Developed Sentience, and Dean walk into a bar…

Sam’s story in Spn The Show has always been a ‘chosen one’ kind of narrative. Sam is living with one foot in the realm of the monsters, and I wanted to bring that back full force! It really makes sense for him that he should only continue to grow in power, might, and magic!! As the story progresses.

Cas also got a power up! I do desperately love in the show that he was kind of a grunt/nothing angel, and so even when he defected to TFW he was a huge help for them, but in the scale of things he was an annoying fly to most other angels. It really worked for the underdog story of s4/5. In this I wanted to give him a power up, and originally it was actually going to be close contact with Sam that eventually changed Cas into something unknown (you can still see traces of this in ch34 of TBAM, where Death remarks ‘Castiel could be [Sam’s] first creation’. But for a combo of reasons: how Sam’s magic needed to have intent, the entire concept of free will and consent, and how much I wanted Dean and Cas to have their effect on each other, I decided to go with the route that Cas has actually always been something angel-adjacent rather than becoming something new. TFW/Supernatural has always been about free will and making your own story, so I amplified that with Cas.

Dean has always been A Normal Guy, which is part of the appeal of him and Sam (2 normal dudes!) taking on the Very Not Normal. As explained above, Sam’s story is ‘normal guy finds out he’s the chosen one’ and so, in a story about very large concepts and huge monsters and acts of magic, I felt it was very important to keep Dean as normal as possible. To the point it became a running gag to me, personally, in that ‘no matter what cool shit happens around him, Dean has to stay as Just A Guy’. And it’s a very humanizing role that allows the story to have the scale it does!

What were the most important themes in your story?

Sam’s Autonomy

I wasn’t even going to include the plot about Lucifer’s death in this story— that was going to come up in a later story, actually! And rather than Sam having ate Lucifer, the original idea was that they’d become a SamandLucifer entity (this harkens back to a concept I wanted to write when Swan Song first aired).

That storyline would have involved a lot of mental ‘Sam and Lucifer discuss what it means to live, which one of them is more worthy of life and if they do deserve to destroy the world for the pain they’ve been forced to go through, just to create the dichotomy of good and evil for everyone else’ discussions. There would be a lot of talk about how Sam hates and fears Lucifer for the pain Lucifer put on Sam, how Lucifer hates Sam because he and Sam are the same but Sam’s brother loves him anyways, etc.

Ultimately that was scrapped because Sam’s entire story in the show is always about how the world and everyone around him manipulates him and that he never actually gets to make choices about his own life or body that aren’t influenced or part of someone elses’ design. And that always bothered me that Sam was never allowed to be himself without having to be ashamed of it, and I wanted to make sure that Sam’s triumph of being proud of himself/proudly choosing to exist (again) was evident in his story

In the end I needed Sam to have this visceral win over his tormentor. As the story shows, in this case Lucifer was abused and put into a position where he was incapable of empathy and could only express himself in violence. Sam even understands this! But it doesn’t change the fact that Lucifer tortured Sam in unimaginable ways for thousands of years.

With that in mind I didn’t like the idea of Lucifer and Sam having “co-ownership” of their new identity, so I made the choice that Sam had to be the survivor. This tied in well with Sam’s new crusade to restore free will to the universe, because he’s breaking the narrative of his own story!

While Castiel wasn’t a pov character, his own autonomy and free will was equally as important. You’ll note that many, many paragraphs and conversations revolved around that theme and that in the end Cas followed himself (and love!) which ensured his freedom of self <3

The Brothers are WEIRD PEOPLE!!!! And Codependent to a Worrying Degree, but It’s Also How They Survive

It’s very hard to show “unusual” relationships when you’re writing from the pov of the two people who don’t think there’s anything weird about their relationship. Sure, they say ‘yeah it’s probably weird that we still share a bed’ but that’s kinda more in line with ‘I had a nightmare and I want to be close to the person who makes me feel safe’. Hashtag normalize co-sleeping when you need it!!!

From there I did try to point out how the boys have a weird perception of lifestyle in the little things they did.

From thrifting everything from clothes to appliances to books (thrifting is a valid lifestyle! It’s incredibly handy when you’re on a budget.)

To never actually having condiments or knowing how to use a dishwasher cause they’ve lived in a car, a motel room, or squatted in old houses their whole life.

I tried to have them wear each others’ clothes or casually swap things as much as possible. They live out of each others’ pockets!

Also the brothers are just weird people!! It’s hard to show from their pov, cause they don’t know how far off from normal they are, but like…

Everything about Sam and Amelia was NOT right like holy shit those two were wilding in their grief. They are very lucky things worked out for them and that they got to be hashtag Weird Girls together

Dean explicitly, in the story, gets horny after killing stuff!! Violence has done a number on his psyche and he’s gotten some wires crossed that maybe shouldn’t have been, or maybe could be worked out in a safe space but… uh… how likely do we think Dean is gonna go find a safe space to deal with any of his shit???

LOVE!!! Love is truly what this whole story is all about

If you’ve read the stories, you know how much emphasis I put on love. Love is the strongest force in the Spn Universe! It��s what averted the apocalypse and saved the world (Swan Song), it’s what created free will (Cas’ entire arc!) I love love!!!!

I went out of my way to not put any definitions on platonic love vs romantic love because I think love is love is love and how you express that is the difference. Neither is more powerful than the other because LOVE is powerful!! Sam and Cas are the most important people in Dean’s life and he loves them equally! He shows this by giving Cas kisses and stealing Sam’s socks.

It’s a personal pet peeve of mine when I have to hear explanations like ‘I love you, like a brother’ or ‘I love you, but like, as a friend because I’m a lesbian and you’re a man’ etc etc in media. If you have to continuously define how your characters love each other, then I don’t think you’re doing a good job of portraying their relationship. So you’ll see that I never put those parameters in any conversation. Dean DOES muse that he loves Cas differently than he loves Sam or Bobby, specifically because there is a romantic and sexual tone that his feelings for Cas takes, but not because he loves Cas more or less than he loves Sam or Bobby.

Which means, if you haven’t realized it yet, the Series + Fic Titles are meant to be a complete sentence because the power of love IS the thesis of this series:

The Love It Takes To Exist Again (Sam’s journey!)

The Love It Takes To Become a Man (Dean’s journey!)

The Love It Takes To Destroy a Man (TBA)

And now for fun stuff. Behind the scenes!!

What’s Something People Probably Don’t Know?

The demonic fungal/hydrothermal vent growth on Sam’s arm was thrown in literally as I was posting the chapter because I had just finished a 48 hour cram session of writing a report on tube worms for an ecology class (I was chanting my tube worm song as I wrote it) and it ended up being a HUGE hit with both readers and myself. But it was so last minute I had trouble fitting it in more throughout the rest of Sam’s story!

Cas’ orders? That may or may not have bound him to Dean and removed his free will? Were written into Sam’s story and I went ‘oh SHIT that’s compelling’ and then left them there as a ‘guess I’ll figure that out when I get to Dean’s story lol’

Originally Dean and Cas were supposed to get together after having their souls bonded, and have been in a UST limbo the entire time before that. Mostly because I think the entire concept of ‘we just got married of the soul I guess we should try dating?’ is very funny. CLEARLY the two of them were way more eager to fall in love than I anticipated (thank you Cas for your honesty) but you can still see shades of this original idea here and there (especially in ch35 of TBAM)

I never intended Dean and Benny to connect so well!! Benny was going to reunite with Andrea, she was going to live, and they were going to go off into the world and leave the story. And, uh, here we are. I’m still debating if I need to adjust the relationship tag or not haha. Polyamory is fun, especially when I was planning for Sam to be the polyamorous brother...

Speaking of, I can’t believe I forgot about Sam and his sexuality! If I rewrote TEA I would have had Sam contemplate more on his lack of sexual appetite due to trauma, up until he meets Benny and he gets to rediscover how he wants to be a sexual person

Many of Sam and Dean’s absolutely stupid sibling conversations were lifted near-verbatim from conversations I’ve had with my siblings

And lastly...

Dem where’s Kevin????????????? Where is our sweet baby boy????????

He’s SAFE!! He’s in the Hunter pipeline somewhere cause Sam handed him off to Bobby’s people. He and his mom are safe and at some point they probably got rib sigils like SalmonDean did against angels, but for demons. I didn’t have room in this story for him!!! But my baby boy is SAFE and I want to get him back to university because it’s WHAT HE DESERVES!!!!

To that point: god there were/are SO many characters that I just didn’t include in the story so far because I didn’t feel comfortable including them without stalling the story for them. To that point: pretty much everyone who is alive/dead in s8 is that way in this story, except Bobby who gets to live.

[Check Out Part 2 for reader questions!]

#the love it takes series #to exist again fic #to become a man fic #dem speaks

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yourdorkiness · 4 years

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My Opinions On Jujutsu Kaisen That Literally Nobody Asked For

I finished binging the Jujutsu Kaisen manga in 48 hours. I am having some expresso, because I’m depresso.

Here’s a Sad Stitch to show you how I feel.

(And of course, warnings for discussion/ranting/kinda meta on the Jujutsu Kaisen manga below the cut, so please read at your own discretion!)

Sukuna is truly a Bastard™, along with Mahito.

I just- *cries in Shibuya Arc aka PAIN*

*Pulls out megaphone* Nanamin.

That’s all folks. Thanks for reading, have a nice day!

(Just kidding!)

Ugh, NANAMIN 👏 WHAT 👏 A 👏 MAN 😭 😭 😭 😭 I became a certified Nanami stan once I saw the tired business man aesthetic (plus, his words about how work is shit? Truer words have never been spoken), and his little speech about adults and responsibility, how children no matter their circumstances are still children, and should be given the opportunity to act as such. Because, YES, FINALLY, A RESPONSIBLE ADULT WITH THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL aka the voice of Kenjiro Tsuda

Anyways, I love how the Jujutsu Kaisen manga shows that adults can handle things, and that is A-OKAY!!! If Jujutsu Tech follows the Japanese school system, Yuji is a first year in high school, so he’s probably 15 or 16 years old, way too early to go through Shibuya level of trauma (though, I think anybody is too young to have to go through what happened to Yuji in Shibuya).

Children should have the privilege to be children. That doesn’t mean coddling, it means that children should have plenty of time to experience new things, enjoy being a child, and I’m so happy Nanami says this!

In conclusion, Nanami deserves happiness and a vacation to Kuantan 🥺

YOSHINO JUNPEI!!! He and his mom deserve happiness, they’re both precious beans. I didn’t even realize Junpei was dead until 5+ chapters later. But it was too late, for I had already gotten attached!!! *cue curse worthy screeching*

I was so excited for Junpei to join Jujutsu Tech, too! I had this whole headcanon of Junpei being HAPPY again, talking about movies with Yuji, interacting with the other first years, him seeing Panda for the first time!!! The thing was, back then, it wasn’t headcanon! I thought it was going to be facts, until Gege said ‘lol, you thought, peasant’, before spitting on any hope of mine for a happy Junpei.

(On a completely different tangent, I would be SO psyched if I got to meet a talking panda, we could act out all of “Kung Fu Panda” together, especially the chopstick scene, and maybe we could go to a zoo, just to mess with the zookeepers about a honest to god PANDA walking on its hind legs around the zoo)

‘If Junpei had lived’ is a phrase I think about a lot, and I think that is why the “Young Fish and Reverse Punishment” arc was so crucial to the story and yet so tragic.

Junpei has so much potential to be happy, and then he didn’t get the happiness he deserves. It really sets the tone, the high stakes to the whole manga, for we see the amount of damage a curse inflicts on somebody who could be in a situation like Junpei.

As the readers, we understand the reasoning behind Junpei’s ideology, sympathizing with him as we see what horrible torment he has to go through. That very first scene of this arc, where the bullies made him eat the cockroach and BURNED HIM WITH A LIT CIGARETTE, and the teacher who saw all of this happening, JUST TURNS AWAY!!! It was haunting. But finally, finally, we get a light at the tunnel for Junpei in the form of our lord and saviour, the cinnamon roll of cinnamon rolls, Itadori Yuji. HERE is a person who is able to connect with Junpei, who wouldn’t dismiss how Junpei’s circumstances or feelings. and then Junpei dies.

(look at this cute face, how could you Mahito?!)

Also, the symbolism in the opening? The Junpei fish ENLARGING??? HNKDJSFLJDSF JUNPEI NOOO-

Also ALSO (sorry this is the last ‘also’), did we ever learn if Junpei was a sorcerer, or was he a window that possessed enough talent to summon a shikigami? I at first thought Junpei was a window, since he was able to see Mahito, and was hoping that we’d get a more detailed explanation of what windows actually do. (Do they just wander around Tokyo, or wherever they live, and act all ‘La Dee Da, just living my regular, normal life, oOOHHH is that a special grade? Tell that to the sorcerers, maybe I’ll get a bonus!’ Is their life basically a demented version of Pokemon Go? I have so many questions-)

All the villains were well written, and had super cool character designs. My top three villains other than Sukuna, my top three villains are Geto, and Mahito.

Geto’s backstory in the Hidden Inventory arc was so incredibly written, I especially liked the way Gege wrote how Getou’s righteous ideals gradually deteriorating throughout the Hidden Inventory arc as he realizes the depth of the curses of humanity, the dark hatred the “weak” hold towards things they have no understanding of. (i.e. Riko’s death by the Star Religious Group, Haibara’s death, and finally the villagers ignorant treatment and abuse towards Geto’s twins, Mimiko and Nanako, beating and imprisoning them for “causing” the deaths of the villagers) Geto’s chilling charisma and the reasoning behind his actions as a villain makes him a top tier villain in my eyes.

As for Mahito, I love to hate him, and that why I think he is a great antagonist. I guess I’ve just been seeing a lot of villains that because of their tragic backstories, the readers or characters sympathize with them and rationalising their actions, turning the villain into a flaky antihero of lesser impact. It’s very refreshing to have a villain who is just pure evil.

I think that Mahito fulfilled his purpose as an antagonist very well; his twisted ideals on the worth of human life foiling Itadori’s own ideals of giving others a “proper death”, the curse making Yuji continuously adapt both physically and mentally to defeat him. Physically, by learning new spells and techniques to defeat Mahito, such as the Black Flash (and possibly his own cursed technique! The weird “Past That Never Happened” in the fights with Choso and Todo), or mentally, by questioning his ideals, such as what exactly is a “proper death”, after Yuji had to kill the transfigured humans.

(Ew look at this worm.)

Some Honorable Mentions of Good Villains IMO: Jogo, because I find his ideals of curses, who stem from the true emotions of hatred and fear, being superior yet suppressed by the emotionally faceted humans is definitely fascinating, and eerily reminds me of Geto’s hatred towards non sorcerers. Dagon was pretty cute in his Cursed Womb stage, and I really liked Hanami because the eldritch environmentalist aesthetic is pretty coolio 👌 .

How do Inumaki children learn to speak if all the adults barely talk, only saying inane words like “salmon” and NOT ACTUALLY meaning “salmon, the fish” but an adult secret code for a definition that you might not even know?? Or do the adults just charmspeak the kids, like “SPEAK small child, and have full language comprehension, O tiny ball of pudge!” and boom! Babies talking in complete sentences, maybe understanding weird adult customs. Will the child know when then adult actually mean salmon, the fish, and not the code word salmon?

Let’s assume that Inumaki clan children from learning to speak to four or six years old will be able to speak normally until the clan technique sets in (because that’s when the jjk wiki says cursed techniques kick in). How do you explain to a toddler: “Hey sweetie, happy birthday, have a present! Oh, by the way, those cool tattoos of yours mean that you can’t talk normally to anybody anymore, EVER. Only using these specific words as code to mean these specific meanings, restricting any chance of normal interactions with non-sorcerers if by some inane chance you DON’T want to become a child soldier jujutsu sorcerer. Welp, guess you have to become a jujutsu sorcerer now! Make sure to restrict your choice of words, you could kill somebody! Have fun playing with your Legos honey, welcome to adult life.” Like, EXCUSE ME?

You can’t tell mw a four year old is expected to understand that (or didn’t kill somebody by accident via cursed speech. That MUST have happened at least once).

This is all an elaborate way of saying please give us Inumaki backstory, I’m very curious.

Anyways, thank you for reading my post, and I hope you have a nice day!

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ubernoxa · 4 years

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The Token: A Guns N’ Roses Fanfiction

Chapter 14: Royaly Screwed

Story Summary: Story inspired by the movie She’s the Man. A female Duff is tired of dealing with the bullshit of trying to make it on the strip as a female bassist. Did Michelle think it through as she chopped her hair? Nope. All she knew was that she wanted to make it on the strip. If she had to mascarade as a guy, so it shall be.

Chapter Summary: Michelle’s (Duff’s) dinner with her roommates and Walter’s dad doesn’t go as smoothly as she hopes when she find out why Walter’s father is back in town

(Masterlist)

Taglist: @littlemisscare-all @smokeandmirrorz @aratbaby @slashscowboyboots @queen-crue @achiweyow @bitter-13-suite @white-lightning-625

AN: Sorry for the delay with all of my fics, this is defiantly a couple months overdue ❤️

I took a couple minutes to calm my breathing as I stared into the bathroom mirror. I barely recognized the figure before me. It was Michelle’s reflection that stared back at me. The brown haired wig concealed Duff’s blonde hair, and the dress was more pop than hard rock. Duff was hidden away behind the mask of Michelle, it was no longer the other way around.

Betsy’s threat of exposing me as Duff still felt heavy on my head. Everything, she could destroy everything. All it took was a couple words and I would be done, finished. No band would ever want me as their bassist, just due to my reputation.

I got this.

Everything is going to be okay.

Betsy is all bark and no bite.

You will be okay.

I continued mumbling these phrases over and over again until I calmed my breath down. I still had one card I had yet to show, Henry. Henry who worked with Walter’s father. Henry who worked in the music industry.

I glanced at myself one last time in the mirror before heading back to the table with my new plan in place.

Halion were the Kings of the strip, but Walter’s father worked for the record company that ran it. He was my greatest weapon and I needed him on my side.

I felt Nyx’s eyes on me when I returned to my table. I simply ignored him, and took another sip of the wine Walter’s father had ordered. Let him and whoever was watching watch. As any good performer would, I was going to give them a show. As if Betsy’s threat had turned on some switch, I began to play her wicked game.

“So tell me Michelle, how is the coffee shop these days?” I almost choked on my wine at Walter’s father’s question.

“My cousin came back, and my uncle gave her my job. She was going to school for business, and she recently graduated which means she gets my position,” the lie rolled off my tongue.

I offered Henry a smile as he placed his arm around me to comfort me.

Walter simply sent me a glare as I took another sip of my wine. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was actually fired because I got into a bloody fight at work or that I was leaning into Henry’s touch. I felt a little guilt for playing with his friend’s emotions, but that quickly evaporated. I was doing this for Guns N’ Roses, and if I broke some hearts on the way, let it be. Mine had already been ripped to shreds.

“That’s a shame, have you thought about suing?” I couldn’t hide the shock that crossed my face at Walter’s father’s words. Of course he would think of suing! He probably dealt with lawyers every day.

“Well I should add that I was the worst baker. I burned half of the cherry danishes I cooked. My uncle had moved me to coffee and customer only duty a few months back, so I figured it was only a matter of time...before I was let go,” I shrugged again, indulging in my half lie.

“Those cherry danishes, even the ones you overcooked were still pretty good. I remember visiting you one time at work, but you couldn’t talk because you were too busy dealing with an almost riot!” Macy added causing the table to erupt in giggles. I sent her a thankful glance for taking the attention off of me, even if it was only for a couple of seconds.

“Oh a riot of 70 year old retirees and rich middle aged entitled soccer moms? Now that’s a sight I would love to see,” Henry leaned in closer as he spoke and I couldn’t help in indulging with everyone else’s laughter that erupted at our table.

“Hey you laugh, but those old ladies have canes and they hurt!” I joked back.

“Do you need anything? Any refills?” I looked up at the waiter who was eyeing my wineglass and turned towards Walter’s father.

“You don’t need to ask Michelle,” Walter’s father sent me a warm smile as I asked.

“Yes please then,” I sounded like a giggly school girl only earning a small chuckle from Henry.

“Just don’t start dancing on tables,” I blushed at Henry’s whispered words as the memory of me dancing on the dining room table drunk on vodka flashed through my head. That was what? Two years ago?

“Come on, from what I recall you enjoyed the show,” I teased back.

“I did, but if I remember you had your eyes on someone else at the time,” my heart sunk as he hinted at my ex-boyfriend, Nyx. The same Nyx that was currently staring me down from another table.

“Well, tell me, who do I have my eyes on now?”

He sent a cocky smirk my way before taking off his suit coat. “Here, you seemed a bit cold.”

I sent him a confused glance before taking another sip of my wine. I was not cold at all? Had my completion given me away.

“Nyx had been undressing you despite having some whore on his lap, please put the coat on.” His words were more of a command this time.

I wanted to splash my wine in Henry’s face for what he was saying. Duff would have done that for calling Betsy a whore even though she threatened to expose me. Betsy and I were children of sunset strip and he had no right to insult her. Even if she was acting like a whore.

Actually, no, Duff would have done worse. Duff would have punched him in the face. But I wasn’t Duff right now, I was Michelle. Michelle wasn’t aggressive...anymore.

“Are you two okay?” I looked over at Macy as she spoke, without a doubt she recognized my uncomfortableness.

“Yes, Shelly is just being stubborn. She is cold and doesn’t want to take my jacket I'm offering her because she doesn’t want me to get cold,” he replied to Macy who clearly didn’t buy his story at all. It was rather unsettling how easy the lie rolled off of his tongue.

“Fine,” I let out a fake giggle before taking his jacket and putting it on. I didn’t miss the look Henry gave Macy when he looked over towards Nyx earning an understanding nod from Betsy.

“Ok, that smells amazing! Please tell me that that’s our food!” I asked as the air filled with the smell of roasted vegetables.

“Well I did order you fajitas for us to share, so that might be it,” Henry smiled back earning a soft smile from me. This smile was actually genuine, fajitas were always my favorite.

To my relief, Henry was right. The waiters began to place our dishes in front of us and I quickly thanked him before digging in. I couldn’t remember the last time I ate this good.

I remained focused on my dinner, only offering small talk every couple of minutes before our conversation was interrupted by a small squeal.

My face went hot when I looked over to see Nyx had ‘accidently’ ripped some of Besty’s blouse, momentarily exposing one of her breasts. I felt a tug on my heart as I watched her playfully slap Nyx. Was this my fault? Was Betsy acting like this because Nyx promised Pyxie a slot to perform on their up and coming tour?

I remained focused on my dinner as Walter’s father mumbled some choice words under his breath. Guilt flooded my bones before I could stop it. She was acting like a whore because I left her no other options. She was doing what she had to do to make it on Sunset Strip.

“Are you okay?” I looked up to see Walter’s father staring me down as he spoke.

“Yeah, just uhh…”

“Do you know her?” I nodded at Walter’s father’s words.

“I used to be in a band with her, Pyxie,” I added hoping he would look too much into my saddened tone.

“Used to be?”

“I left. The rock scene wasn’t my thing. The music was good, but the people weren’t tolerable,” I paused talking before I looked over at Beth and Nyx, “Exhibit A.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

As Walter’s father continued to talk, I became lost in my thoughts. Was I ever that wild? No, I reassured myself. Despite the rumors, I always had some

minor control over my situation when I was drunk. I guess that is part of the reason Nyx and I broke up.

“Yeah and I could show Shelly around!” My head snapped back into the conversation at the sound of my name. The nickname only Izzy was supposed to use.

“Show me around?” I asked, intrigued to see what they were talking about.

“Yeah, the music studio! Sadly I won’t be able to show you around first thing tomorrow morning because the three of us will be talking to the local bars to see about any rising stars to replace Halion. Would the afternoon work? Say 4ish?” I nodded feeling a pit grow in my stomach.

Turns out I had similar plans as Walter, Henry, and Walter’s father. Axl and I were also going to talk to local bars to get gigs. Maybe I could reschedule? I immediately shot down that idea. Axl wasn’t one to be tolerable when it came to changing plans on him, and he would most likely accuse me of not being devoted to the band. Slash and Izzy would understand, but Axl didn’t know.

Unless I told Axl that I was secretly Duff who is a girl and not a guy. Yeah, Axl totally wouldn’t overreact to that. I almost laughed at the idea of telling Axl that I was masquerading as Duff. Saying he would freak out was an understatement.

“What were those three bands you mentioned earlier?” Henry asked, his attention focused on Walter’s father,

“Truer Blindness, Falcon and Guns N’ Roses,” I almost choked on a pepper when he mentioned Guns N’ Roses.

I locked eyes with Macy, and I did my best to hide my panic.

“All those are rock bands, I thought you would be getting away from the rock scene after the mini hell Halion caused,” Walter asked. I tried to follow the bitterness in his tone. I hid the shock once I realized he was jealous that Henry knew about the bands his own father was looking into before his own son knew.

“I want to get out of the scene, but the payoff is always too good. A new band would have enough motivation to get an album done while costing the company minimal money. Once they get too big, then we would dump them. Usually rockstars start getting big heads after their first album. Which means I dump them after the second album,” Walter’s father clarified.

“Are there any standouts?” I shot Macy a glance as she spoke.

“True Blindness has been on the strip for a while, so they would have the potential to bring in a steady income. I am a bit concerned that no other label had picked them up. Falcon is a newer band that we have heard murmurs about. One of our competitor record companies is interested in them, so naturally I am as well. The big one I’m interested in seeing is Guns N’Roses. Apparently they are a bit wild, but they are new and draw in a big crowd whenever they perform. Guns N’ Roses is a definitely a wild card.” I remained frozen at Walter’s father’s words.

“Guns N’ Roses? That’s Duff’s band, right?” I nodded at Henry’s words.

“You know them?” Walter’ father’s words sent electricity through my veins.

“Yeah, I have made coffee for them,” I replied before returning back to my food.

I wasn’t just fucked, I was full on screwed.

#gnr fanfiction #guns n’ roses fanfic #gnr fanfic #gnr imagine #guns n’ roses fanfiction #guns n’ roses imagine #duff mckagan fanfiction #duff mckagan / oc #duff mckagan imagine #duff mckagan fanfic

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jedivoodoochile · 4 years

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Release date : 12th May 1972

The Rolling Stones – Exile On Main Street

First manager Andrew Loog Oldham said in the sleeve notes to the Stones’ first album: ‘The Rolling Stones are more than a group, they are a way of life’, and of no album is that truer than Exile On Main Street. The legend persists that it was all created in the dank basement of the former Nazi headquarters in Villefranche-Sur-Mer in the Summer of 1971, although a large portion was overdubbed in sessions in Los Angeles, where other songs were created from scratch. Some of the other recordings predated the trip to France, having been recorded in the UK, at Olympic Studios in Barnes.

However, the SPIRIT of the basement prevails throughout and it is the murky swampiness of the whole endeavour, extending to Mick Jagger’s all but indecipherable vocals, that have seen it acclaimed as the Stones’ most complete statement and possibly the most rock album the band ever made.

The guitar sound is largely due to Ry Cooder, whose involvement in the sessions of 1969’s Performance soundtrack, showed the possibilities of the ‘open G’ tuning on the guitar. Crucially, the guitar is tuned to a chord, but in Keith Richards’ book Life, he describes how he discarded the 6th (lowest) string, giving the lowest string (now a G) the role of a drone, quite appropriate to the blues. It also allowed the mega-riffs of the Mark 2 Stones’ biggest hits: Honky Tonk Women and Brown Sugar, which underpinned new member Mick Taylor’s melodic country/blues lines, melding to create a whole new style. Even now, the first chords of either of the above will pack a dance floor anywhere in the UK. With reference to Exile, the most prominent use of the 5-string open-tuned guitar is on Rocks Off, Happy, Ventilator Blues, Tumbling Dice and All Down The Line.

The Stones had recruited the sensitive 20-year old Mick Taylor in 1969 from John Mayall’s Bluesbreakers, where he became the third stellar lead guitarist to play the blues in Mayall’s band, following Eric Clapton and Peter Green. His first sessions were for the Let It Bleed album, overdubbing guitar on Country Honk and Live With Me plus some pivotal parts for the Honky Tonk Women single on the 1st June session that ended at 3:15AM.

Honky Tonk Women went to #1 in the UK and the US in July 1969, followed by the Let It Bleed album in December, another triumph. Any doubts created by the subsequent 18-month gap in releases were dispelled by the release of Brown Sugar in April 1971 (another US #1), followed in May by Sticky Fingers, possibly the strongest Stones album to date, and one that showcased the guitar interplay between Keith Richards and Mick Taylor, alongside some great songs, including Sway, Wild Horses and Bitch.

Having recorded sessions at Olympic Studios in Barnes, London, which included tracks like Stop Breaking Down and Sweet Virginia, The Stones had continued recording and writing in the Summer of 1970 at Stargroves, Jagger’s English country house, with the Stones’ own mobile recording studio, a move that became standard operating procedure for other UK bands, including Led Zeppelin. The mobile came in handy when the Stones discovered that in signing with US manager Allen Klein, their copyrights had reverted to him, so when they severed their connection with him in 1970, their income came under threat. They were also in a cash flow crisis, at a time when the UK taxman took 93% of high earners’ income, so they felt that the only thing to do was to get out of town, planning to spend at least 21 months outside the UK from 1971 onwards.

According to Bill Wyman, the band had at least working versions of seven tracks to take with them, including Tumbling Dice (original title: Good Time Women), Black Angel (which became Sweet Black Angel), Stop Breaking Down and Shine A Light.

In early April 1971, the band decamped to France, Mick Jagger marrying Bianca in St. Tropez on May 12th and honeymooning on the Riviera, before settling in Paris with his new bride. Keith Richards rented a villa, Nellcôte, in Villefranche-Sur-Mer, near Nice, while the other band members rented houses further to the west. The basement at Nellcôte became a makeshift studio to record using the band’s mobile recording studio.

In interviews with Ian Fortnam for the 2010 reissue of Exile, Keith Richards and Charlie Watts gave their contemporary perspectives on what went down: ‘They couldn’t get you in jail, so they put the economics on you, the old double whammy,’ said Keith. ‘So the feeling within the band was we’ve got to show them we’re made of sterner stuff and prove you couldn’t break the Stones just by kicking them out of England.’

The band again called on the services of their mobile studio and parked it outside Keith’s villa in order to carry on the recordings for the next album, the second on their own Rolling Stones records label, although according to Keith Richards, that wasn’t their first intention. They had been planning to look for studios in Nice or Cannes, but in the event, the band came to Keith, with the Stones mobile in residence from June 7th.

American producer Jimmy Miller had supervised the two previous albums, but the Nellcôte sessions were much more difficult to coordinate, partly because not all the band were around at the same time. Recording continued sporadically for some months until the French authorities began to apply pressure to rid themselves of the Stones and their entourage, who by then were engaged in various levels of illegal behaviour.

Drummer Charlie Watts was about three hours away, in Thoiras, west of Avignon, and bassist Bill Wyman and guitarist Mick Taylor were ensconced near Grasse, so at least one of the songs on Exile was made without them, although the album credits have never been clear about who actually did what. In the case of one of the most Stones-sounding recordings, very few of the Stones were initially on it. Happy, a showcase for Keith Richards’ vocals and guitar, has producer Jimmy Miller on drums and Keith doubling on bass. The basics were laid down between noon and 4PM one afternoon, with just Miller on drums, Bobby Keys on baritone saxophone, and Richards on the rest, including the lyrics and lead vocal.

Charlie Watts loved Jimmy Miller. ‘I thought he was the best producer we ever had. Jimmy was a hands-on type of guy. When we played he could never keep still, so he’d always be banging something; a drum or a cowbell’ [check out the start of Honky Tonk Women]. Miller insisted that Charlie‘s drums be tested in as many of the basement’s labyrinth of rooms as possible, before settling on one that had the right balance of natural ambience and proximity to the guitar players to maintain the vibe. It took a week or two to get the setup right, but after that, things apparently settled down.

The schedule did become a bit strange, as recalled by Keith Richards. ‘It became known as Keith Time, which in Bill Wyman’s case made him a little cranky. Not that he said anything. At first, we were going to start at two PM [every day], but that never happened. So we said we’d start at 6PM, which usually meant around 1 AM. Charlie didn’t seem to mind.’

But when Keith was on form, he would deliver, as with Rocks Off, which, according to engineer Andy Johns, involved a playback to Keith at 4 or 5AM. Keith went to sleep in mid-track, so Johns took that as the cue to get his own head down, driving the necessary half-hour home. He was just nodding off when the phone rang – it was Keith, asking where he’d got to. So Johns drove back to Nellcote – another half hour – at which point Keith picked up his Telecaster and played the second guitar part on Rocks Off, straight through.

The sessions were at least the backbone of the album. Said Keith: ‘A lot of the songs started off with an idea. Mick’s playing harp, you join in and before you knew it you had a track in the making and an idea working. It might not be the finished track; you’re not trying to force it.’

There was also much space for the interplay between Richards and lead guitarist Mick Taylor. Keith: ‘Brian [Jones] and I would swap roles. There was no defined line between lead and rhythm guitar, but with Mick’s style I had to readjust the shape of the band and it was beautifully lyrical. He was a lovely lead player. I loved playing with Mick Taylor.’

Some of the songs were collaborations, like All Down The Line, which, according to Keith Richards, he started with the basic idea of ‘I hear it coming, all down the line’ and handed it over to Mick Jagger to develop. Richards was extremely prolific and came up with many songs which didn’t eventually make on to the final release, including Head In The Toilet Blues, Leather Jackets (although Bill Wyman lists it as having been recorded at Olympic), Windmill, I Was Just A Country Boy, Dancing In The Light,(noted as possibly being one of Mick Jagger’s), Bent Green Needles, Labour Pains and Pommes de Terre.

Richards described the self-imposed pressure that he and Jagger felt when requiring themselves to come up with song ideas in anticipation of the arrival of the other musicians. Casino Boogie came about when inspiration was lacking and they decided to follow the William Burroughs ‘cut up’ technique (also used occasionally by David Bowie), whereby a book or newspaper is disassembled into component words, which are then re-assembled to create a new lyrical direction.

So, contrary to popular belief, the whole album wasn’t recorded in the South Of France, although most of the backing tracks were. As Keith Richards notes in his book Life: ‘What we brought to LA from France was only raw material for Exile. The real bare bones, no overdubs. On almost every song we’d said, we’ve got to put a chorus on here, we’ve got to put some chicks in there, we need extra percussion on that. So LA was basically to put the flesh on. For four or five months in LA in early 1972, we mixed and overdubbed Exile On Main Street. According to Bill Wyman, most of the Stones flew to LA on November 29th, 1971, followed later by the Wymans, for sessions that went on til February 1972.

It seems to have been planned as a double from an early stage, Richards mentioning ‘all business advice’ that warned against it. Which, to be fair to whoever was dishing out the advice (probably Ahmet Ertegun and Atlantic Records), was usually correct – double LPs had to be competitively priced, but they cost twice as much to manufacture, were heavier to ship, and their length and quantity of material meant they were harder for the public to assimilate, more difficult to review objectively, and took longer to get on the airwaves, at a time when multiple singles releases off an album was not the norm.

At Sunset Sound in Los Angeles, the basic tracks of at least Rip This Joint, Shake Your Hips, Casino Boogie, Happy, Rocks Off, Turd On The Run and Ventilator Blues were given numerous overdubs, including all the piano and keyboard parts, all lead and backing vocals, plus more overdubs of guitar and bass. The sessions included new recordings of Torn And Frayed and Loving Cup and saw Mick Jagger coming into his own, finishing off the vocals and bringing in other contributors.

A host of other musicians assisted the Stones on the LA overdubs, including Nicky Hopkins and Ian ‘Stu’ Stewart on pianos, and a mass of backing vocalists including Gram Parsons, Clydie King, Joe Green, Venetta Fields, Tamiya Lynn, Shirley Goodman, Dr. John, Kathi McDonald and Jess Kirkland. Jazz sessioneer Bill Plummer added upright bass to Rip This Joint and Turd On The Run, Al Perkins from Manassas played pedal steel guitar on Torn And Frayed, Billy Preston contributed keyboards to Shine A Light, and Richard Washington played marimba on Sweet Black Angel. Stalwart Bobby Keys played sax, with Jim Price on trumpet and organ on Torn And Frayed, while producer Jimmy Miller played drums and percussion where necessary.

The first hearing that the public and broadcasters had of Exile was the single, Tumbling Dice, one of the most multi-layered, murky, uneven recordings any band has ever released, and yet it is probably one of the Stones’ five finest records. There is something to listen at every turn, the rhythm is insistent, the lyrics are compelling, there’s rollicking piano, sweet Mick Taylor licks, (and his bass playing, the loudest thing on the track, is exactly wrong, but exactly right). Mick Jagger’s lyrics are almost indecipherable and mixed so far back they’re practically only a texture, but the whole thing is the Stones personified – far from perfect, but still fantastic.

As Keith Richards said in 2010: ‘Mick’s always seemed to have something of an ambivalent attitude to Exile… ‘, and here indeed are Jagger’s comments from 2003: ‘Exile is not one of my favourite albums, although I think the record does have a particular feeling. I’m not too sure how great the songs are, but put together it’s a nice piece. However, when I listen to Exile it has some of the worst mixes I’ve ever heard. I’d love to remix the record, not just because of the vocals, but because generally, I think it sounds lousy.’ Well, it could certainly be mixed with more clarity, but to do that would be to lose its essential Stones-ness, which would upset the millions to have bought it thus far.

Preceded by the UK and US Top 10 hit Tumbling Dice, Exile On Main St. was released in May 1972. It was an immediate commercial success, reaching #1 worldwide just as the band embarked on their celebrated 1972 American Tour, their first for three years. The second, and only other, single from the album, Happy, got to #22 in the US in July.

Many critics judged Exile On Main St. to be a ragged and impenetrable record at the time of its release, but the UK’s Richard Williams, writing in Melody Maker, praised the album in a review entitled ‘The Stones: Quite Simply the Best’. He said the album ‘is definitely going to take its place in history’ and ‘it’s the best album they’ve ever made. This is an album which utterly repulses the sneers and arrows of outraged put-down artists. Once and for all, it answers any questions about their ability as rock ‘n’ rollers.’

Keith Richards has the last word: ‘We didn’t start off intending to make a double album; we just went down to the south of France to make an album and by the time we’d finished we said, ‘We want to put it all out.’ I was no longer interested in hitting Number One in the charts every time. What I want to do is good shit – if it’s good they’ll get it some time down the road.’

#the rolling stones #exile on main street

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callmetippytumbles · 6 years

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A Happy New Year (Liam x MC)

Tippy’s Note: So listen, it’s been a hot minute since I did a fanfic. Blah, blah, life. Blah, blah, busy. Other stuff. I wanted to get back into the swing of things with something fluffy, sweet and in the spirit of the season. Like the first fanfic, Tipsy Halle had to make an appearance. I hope you guys like it. I may have more stuff cooking for you guys.

Disclaimer: Choices owns this and I do not.

Words Counted: 2,135 Rating: PG Pairing: Liam x MC (Halle), Driara

Liam x MC tags: @jacksonsmaine @umccall71 @blackcoffee85 @theroyalweisme @writtenbycandy@hopefulmoonobject @mynameiskaylabella @the-everlasting-dream@zigbadboy @indiacater @lolablackwrites @i-choose-liam

Fic tags: @coldcolectornight08 @brightpinkpeppercorn @smalltalk88

Halle and Liam sat in front of one of the large pine trees outside of Applewood Manor. Their large grins trained on the camera in front of them.

“Wishing a Merry Christmas…” Liam started.

“...And Happy Holidays to you and yours.” Halle added, hoping the huskiness to her voice brought warmth and not exhaustion.

“And an extra happy holiday to you.” Liam cooed to the youngest Rhys, two-year-old Asher, Ash for short, who nuzzled against his mother. The young boy smiled and clasped his father’s nose in his gloved hands.

Five-year-olds Kalilah and Zuri sat in front of them and waved to the camera. While Zuri continued to wave, Kalilah reached down into the snow and threw a snowball at her brother and father. Zuri quickly retaliated and soon the peaceful moment descended into chaos. Lilah had Zuri pinned within seconds. Ash patted snow on his sister’s back leaving Halle and Liam to have a battle of their own.

Halle smashed a snowball on her husband’s face.

“Is that how you want to play, my love?”

She didn’t finish her nod before Liam tackled her in the snow.

“Cut,” An exasperated Madeleine shouted behind the camera crew. “So much for a regal but festive address.” She threw her hands up in the air.

Halle pulled Lilah off of her brother while Liam held Ash. They walked over to where Madeleine was with the camera crew.

“Think we have it now?”

“No, Your Majesty, we do not. We should do one more take.”

Zuri groaned.

Halle looked down at her children. Lilah looked about ready to cry. Zuri had his arms across his chest. They were more than done. Ash was also over it, getting antsy in his father’s arms.

“I don’t think the twins have another take in them and Ash is about ready for a nap.”

“I still think…”

“Maybe the snow fight is a good thing,” St. James interjected. “It makes them seem down to earth.”

“They are not down to earth, they are the Royal Family of Cordonia. This isn’t some cutesy e-card we are making for Grandma.”

Ash became even fussier, fighting his father’s embrace, his small limbs flailing in every direction. “I say that we go with this one. With the snowball fight.” Liam giving his final word while trying to calm the toddler.

“Of course, Your Majesty,” Madeleine says with a fake grin, though the tightness in her jaw said otherwise. She walked away with a determined stride, calling over her shoulder as she went. “Make sure that the footage gets to the editor ASAP. I want this on every television station by primetime and on Instagram before tea-time.”

“I am already on it.” St. James hollered back.

Now Drake was playing the clip of Liam getting smashed with a snowball on his phone during New Years Eve gathering that Halle and Liam were hosting at the Valtoria Estate.

“You don’t get to see that every day,” Drake pointed out. “The Sovereign Ruler of Cordonia getting pummelled with snow.”

“I seem to recall you being buried in snow by your wife and son on Instagram. I think it even had the caption hashtag ‘snow daddy’” Liam countered.

“But I am not the king.”

“Dieu merci pour ça,” Kiara said as she joined the two men. “The last thing we need is a grumpy monarch who would spend an alarming amount of the GDP on whiskey.”

“I am not a grump.”

His best friend raised his eyebrow and his wife side-eyed him.

“I am not!” Drake defended. “I like fun. Woo. Fun. Good times for all.”

“But you are my dear, and I love you anyway,” Kiara added with a kiss on Drake’s cheek.

“You’ve got to now. You’re stuck with me.” Drake kissed her on the lips.

“Guess I am... Snow Daddy.”

“Truer words have never been spoken.”

Zuri ran up to his father, his footie pajamas slipping on the hardwood floors. “Can we do sock slides with Uncle Maxwell?”

Henri, Drake and Kiara’s son followed closely behind. “Yeah, can we?”

“What did your mother say?”

“Ask your father.”

“Did she now? Well, I guess I do not see the immediate harm in this.” Liam reasoned.

“They would be with an adult,” Kiara added.

“You are calling Maxwell an adult?”

Henri held onto his father’s leg. Drake saw his own eyes peer back at him as he pouted his mother’s lips.

“Please,” the child begged with a lip quiver.

Drake sighed, “Fine.”

“Yes!” Henri cheered, his pout vanishing.

“Sock slide contest with Uncle Maxwell!”

“He has all the best tricks.”

Henri and Zuri ran off in search of their fun uncle, leaving the adults to themselves.

A waiter walked by with a tray of drinks. Liam and Drake picked up tumblers of scotch while Kiara’s had non-alcoholic Lythikos eggnog. She and Drake were expecting their second child, so that meant no wine for her. This led to a discussion about adjusting from one child to two. Liam did not have much to offer in that discussion since he and Halle went from zero to two in one go.

Halle had Ash for most of the night. He didn’t do well with spending long periods of time with the nanny or with lots of new people in the house. With all of the strangers in the house, Ash was especially clingy. Any time she would put the child down to have him play with the other children, he would throw a tantrum that could only be calmed by a mother’s love. Eventually, the stimulation became too much and Ash tired himself out. Now Halle was free to actually enjoy the party that she planned.

Heading towards the great hall where everyone was, she was intercepted by Bastien.

“Your Majesty, we have a situation in the kitchen.”

“Liam!”

Bastien held his hands up. “No-no, it’s not your husband, it’s your son.”

“What happened.”

“We can walk and talk.”

Halle entered her kitchen to find Zuri and Henri passed out by an half-eaten chocolate cake.

“Zuri!”

“Mamma?” The boy sleepily responded.

“How did you get here?”

“Well we were feeling sleepy and Uncle Maxwell said that if we eat a lot of sugar we can stay awake until midnight.”

“Like the grown-ups,” Henri added.

“Well, how grown up do the two of you feel?”

Zuri groaned, “Well being a grown-up means being tired.”

“My tummy hurts.”

“I bet it does.”

Halle wiped the chocolate frosting smeared on the boys' faces, then put the chocolate cake in the fridge. While wiping down the counter, she saw a sight that made her stop in her tracks. Her eyes scanned the liquor cabinet and landed on a full bottle of her favorite, Hennessy Pure White. Halle smiled. I am gonna make my way back to you, beloved, she thought to herself.

Halle motioned for Bastien to grab Henri while she grabbed Zuri. In Zuri’s room, she changed both of them out of their cake soiled pajamas and into clean ones and put them to bed. She sent Kiara a text letting her know where her son was. As soon as both boys were sound asleep in their beds, Halle beelined back to the kitchen. Once there, she found the Hennessy Pure White that was flirting with her earlier.

“Come to Mama!”

Halle made herself a quick, but potent island punch and rejoined the party upstairs, drink in hand.

Later on that night a little closer to midnight, Liam was looking for his wife to have a moment alone but had not seen her since she made him hold Asher for a quick bathroom break. There was a tug on his pant leg. He looked down to see Lilah trying to get his attention.

“Ready for bed?” He asked picking her up.

She slowly shook her head. “No. I will make it to midnight like the grown-ups.”

“You do not have to. If you feel tired, I can tuck you in. I am sure Zuri is already asleep.”

“I’m okay, papa,” she said before stifling a yawn.

“Let’s go find mamma though.”

“Mamma is over there.”

The room fell quiet as Liam turned his head. Hana was in front of the baby grand piano while Halle laid atop it. Halle perked up when Hana started to play the opening bars to a song. Liam was familiar with the melody, but couldn’t grasp the words or the name. Then he heard it.

“I believe the children are our future…”

Lilah buried her head in the crook of her father’s neck.

“No, mama, no,” she whined covering her ears.

“Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess insiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide.”

Hana giggled as Halle drew out that last note but continued her flawless playing.

“Give them a sense of pride….”

“You have lost all of yours, Halle,” Drake mumbled to himself. “Question is which bottle of Hennessey took it.”

Kiara smacked her husband hard on the chest. He responded with a shrug and finished off the finger of scotch in his glass. Liam moved towards the front of the room holding their daughter, not only to get a better view of the show but to be ready to intervene if things went downhill.

Halle slid off the piano and approached her husband and daughter, continuing to sing.

“Let the children's laaaaaaaaughter remind us how we used to beeeeeeee.”

She booped Lilah on the nose. Lilah snuggled into her father more.

“Every–”

“Everybody's searching for a hero,” Maxwell sang joining the Queen.

Halle strode to his side and whispered, My time to shine.

Maxwell whispered back, Sharing is caring.

“People need someone to look up to, I never found anyone who fulfilled my neeeeeeeeeds,” He continued. “A lonely place to be, and so I learned to depend on meeee.”

Not being one to be outdone or overtaken, Halle cut back in, raising her voice. “I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows.”

Maxwell roared back, “If I fail, if I succeeeeeeeeed, at least I'll live as I believeeeee.”

“No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignityyyyyyy!” Halle sang back, dramatically pointing to her chest.

“The greaaaaaaaatesssssst love of allllllllll–” Maxwell sang.

Halle turned to face him, “Is happening to meeeee!”

Maxwell stepped closer, “I found the greatest love of all, inside of me”

“THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL–”

“IS EASY TO ACHIEVE!”

They both stopped for a moment. Hana stopped playing once she saw that they went silent. They stared at each other. Maxwell was red in the face. Halle had developed some sweat along her hairline. When the moment could not get any tenser, they broke down and started laughing.

“Learning to love yourself,” they sang in unison, “it is the greatest love of all.”

Everyone in the room applauded the impromptu performance.

Maxwell and Halle embraced. Halle held him close and whispered, we will talk about you leaving my son alone with a sheet cake later. Maxwell gulped and smiled nervously while everyone applauded. Hana stood from behind the piano and joined the two of them. They linked hands and took a final bow.

Halle joined Liam and Lilah. She gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead as she continued to rest on her father’s shoulder.

“You wanted to drop the mic and say ‘Sexual Chocolate’ so bad, didn’t you?” Liam whispered.

She let out a disappointed sigh, “No need to rub it in.” He rubbed her back soothing her mild disappointment.

“Oh my God! It’s almost midnight!” Savannah shouted from across the room.

Everyone counted down the final moments of the year. When the clock struck midnight, the first minute of the new year was filled with the sound of applause, champagne poppers, party horns. Couples kissed. Bottles of champagne were opened with loud pops and served to everyone.

Lilah perked up a little during the commotion but quickly returned to sleeping on Liam’s shoulder. He and Halle brought her to bed before returning to their guests.

The party went on for a little while longer after that and when it was finally over, Liam and Halle were finally alone in the Royal Chambers. They were in their bed, still awake, despite the long party. Liam pressed his forehead against Halle’s.

“Happy new year, my love.”

“Happy new year, my king.”

His hand cupped her face as he dipped down to kiss her. She pressed herself closer to him returning it.

“We didn’t sneak off during this party to have any time to ourselves,” Halle commented.

“We are alone now.”

“We are.”

Liam yawned, “Want to raincheck in the morning.”

Halle nodded, “Yeah.”

With that, they began the new year the way they planned to spend the rest of their lives, together, in each other’s arms.

#the royal romance #the royal romance fanfic #liam x mc #liam x mc fanfiction #liam x halle #playchoices

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hzlmrgoalsk · 6 years

Text

My thoughts on It Started With a Kiss and They Kiss Again

I absolutely loved this show. I have seen 3 other versions, Miss in Kiss, Mischievous Kiss 1 and 2, and Playful Kiss 1 and 2. So I already knew what to expect going into this show. Or I thought I did. This version quickly became my favorite. From the moment he started to realize that he had feelings for Xiang Qin, Zhi Shu became affectionate with her, which is very different form the other versions. I loved how quickly he became comfortable with her and he actually shows his love. Those kisses helped too. Damn.

The thing that made me really love this version was the fact that we actually got to see what Zhi Shu is thinking and feeling. No other version, that I have seen, does this. The audience is left to decipher what he is thinking. Here there are no questions if he really does love her. He not only shows it but he says it multiple times throughout the show. Joe Cheng is my favorite version of this character.

I really didn’t have a part that I didn’t like. There were parts I skipped over because I knew what happened. I skipped over a lot of the Christine/Ah Jin stuff because I got that in Mischievous Kiss. But if I had watched this version first, I totally would have been more invested in that part of the story.

I love that they give every character a happy ending. Although we never actually find out if Xiang Qin is pregnant because the author of the manga died before it could be finished. In Mischievous Kiss, they have that little scene with their daughter at the end, so I was expecting that but i guess this is truer to the source material.

All in all, I fucking LOVED this version and I can totally see myself watching this over and over again. I need to watch the anime so I can have seen all the versions, but as of right now, this one is my favorite. I will be back!

#it started with a kiss #hannah watches it started with a kiss #itazura na kiss #they kiss again

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eternichi · 6 years

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10 SHINee Years

Happy 10th Anniversary, SHINee! I already wrote this on Amino, but I thought I’d bring it over to tumblr (where I can format it properly lol

10 SHINee Years

I can’t believe it’s been 10 whole years. I found SHINee probably just after their first year, in 2009 when Lucifer was gaining traction online. They were the first K-pop band I ever heard, and the only one I’ve ever loved. I haven’t found another band I’ve ever followed so passionately, and I don’t think I ever will. They’re so unique.

When I first heard Lucifer I was hooked on the spot. My friend was showing me the video and I could not believe how good the music was, and I was entranced by the flawless dance moves and a music video I wanted to repeat. I’ve heard the song a million times but I never get sick of it. Even listening right now. It reminds me of great times in middle school, where my friends and I tried to learn the dance. Though I still don’t know much anymore, I never gave up on learning it. Though we’re not all friends anymore, I see the memories of our happiness in each song you all sing.

Honestly I didn’t get super into SHINee until college when I became very depressed and found myself running across silly SHINee compilations on YouTube. They cheered me up and made me so happy. I learned all their names and how unique and incredible each one of them is, how important they are to k-pop as a whole and to each other. How pure they are, even when it comes to live shows that are always live (what kind of band so talented is BAD at lipsyncing? One with pure talent that doesn’t take shortcuts!). Honestly, I’m still learning how to be a Shawol every day. Even today, I never knew the exact day they debuted (and the day after my birthday no less, whoa!) ;;;

ONEW

The sweet leader, Onew. Onew’s gone through a lot and stayed so strong the whole time. He puts all his love into SHINee and it shows. When he needed surgery for his voice and cried when he could finally return to stage, when he comforted every other emotional member on stage, when he might be stressed but always would give that big smile. How can someone be so cool, sexy, and adorable at the same time? You never fail to keep your fans on their feet. Many would be lucky to have such a kind yet strong leader.

KEY

My personal bias, Key. Key was actually the character who’s part I was assigned to dance to back in the old days. It must’ve been fate because when I got older and learned more about him, I realized how much I admired him. I’m someone with a god-awful memory and not a skilled dancer, so I’m in awe by Key’s incredible ability to memorize dances on the spot and expertly execute them. His ability inspires me to work harder at that alone, but that’s not all! A great singer and fashionista to the max, is there anything you’re bad at? All the while, learning to speak in Korean, Japanese, and English. This inspires me so much, as someone who’s been learning Japanese and hopes to teach Japanese abroad. You must have worked so hard to learn so much, and no doubt to help your fellow members reach their highest potential. And as a singer, student, and fan, you’re one of my biggest inspirations.

TAEMIN

Taemin I’ll admit is a bit of a mystery to me sometimes. I feel like there’s a lot of times you never know what he’s thinking behind that ever-present smile. A little bit of mischief and playfulness, but also clearly someone who, when they want to achieve a goal, will make it happen. Like many others, I watched you grow. My first memories are of a scrawny little Taemini with the long blond hair, so seeing beefy TaeMAN years later was a (welcome) shock. Now you’re making your own albums and clearly pursuing something you’ve always wanted to do. Though the smallest, Taemin’s definitely been a core part of SHINee, and has clearly grown well with love aside his brothers.

MINHO

Though Minho has a huge personality, he was someone I didn’t know much about for a long time. He’s fiery, competitive, playful, determined, and dorkly cool (riddle me that one). Clearly one of SHINee’s biggest fans who will prove them to be the best in any competition, no matter how small, and make up DIBIDIBIDI songs about his favorite people. And no different from the other members, just as talented as a budding drama actor and the group rapper. Though known as the group rapper, it’s no shock he’s just as talented in song. One of my favorite songs he’s sung is Kiseki, a Japanese song I heard before hearing him sing it, but only loved after. No matter what, Minho’s love for SHINee will never fade. There’s no extinguishing that flaming charisma.

JONGHYUN

And finally, Jonghyun. Forever in our hearts and our minds. The lead vocalist, and that is no title given lightly. Those notes in Lucifer, the long high notes, always gave me chills. It was your voice I wanted to hear the most in each song replay. What an incredible talent. The lyrics of each song he wrote packed with emotion and meaning. Every song has a purpose. You could say so much and so little in each line. You have the brightest smile of all of the members, and every time I’d watch a behind-the-scenes video, I’d always be instantly happy when I saw you break out in a huge smile and fits of laughter. Jonghyun worked so hard and did so many incredible things with his talents and immense effort. You did so, so, so well.

Jonghyun, last July I planned a trip to Japan. The winter before, I found “SHINee’s Fine Day”, a show where all of the boys took trips to wherever they wanted. I never finished the series, but when my friends and I decided to visit Japan, I remembered that you also loved Japan and chose to visit it. I began to slowly watch your videos the next months for inspiration. In December, inspiration turned to dedication. In March, I walked purposefully in some of your footsteps in Tokyo. I couldn’t do everything, but I chose 3 specific places that I bought meant a lot to you back them.

I decided to visit the records store you did, Tower Records jn Shibuya, and buy your last album, along with some from SHINee. When I arrived, the store looked different than when you visited, but just like you, I believe to the SHINee section. They had a beautiful set up dedicated to all 5 of you. I took a picture so someday, when I’ve learned enough Japanese, I can read their kind words. I easily found your city, put in a large section for your fans. When I purchased your CD, they gave me a poster of the cover. I still haven’t had the heart to open my CDs or hang up your poster. Someday I will though.

On my way to Tower Records, I had visited Hachiko. All the while I remembered when you took a picture with him too, and fans started to gather in take pictures, which you happily and loudly invited to continue. (Funny enough people took pics of me then too in my fairy kei fashion haha)

In Odaiba, the Gundam statue. I’m not a Gundam fan like you are but I wanted to copy you by taking a selfie in front of the statue (albeit I wasn’t meaning to go in cosplay but that’s how things wound up haha;;; ). I’m glad I could go where you once were. It helped comfort me a lot knowing you once experienced a lot of happiness and fun, enjoying your vacation where i was. And knowing you must be feeling that happiness once again. You deserve all of the happiness in the world.

Jonghyun, I’ll try to keep it short. You changed me as a person. I now stand up for what I believe in. I try to not let others push me around. I know you stood up for what you believed in and it inspired me so much. But you’ve been inspiring everyone around you since the beginning. They all said so; fans, other musical groups, your friends, and your fellow members. You’re an idol in every sense of the word. You’re a star.

SHINee

What SHINee has taught me most of all is something I’ve been trying to prove my whole life: true friendship exists. I hoped it existed with the friends I had back when I discovered SHINee in middle school. There were also 5 of us. But our five wasn’t meant to be, of course, we went different ways. I’ve made more friends and lost them between then and now. My depression worsened because I believed I’d never find friends that would want to be with me, want to work towards the same goals, or help me through hard times. I just had friends that abandoned me, gave up on our projects we started with so much promise, and brushed off my feelings. When I found the videos of SHINee, it broke through this despair I’d built up overtime. I saw them laugh, cry, smile, argue, and work so hard together and knew there were no truer friends in the world. Someday I want the friendship they have. I’m not there yet but I know now that it’s out there. That’s what made me fall in love with SHINee more than any other band ever will. They’re not just the pretty boys with nice voices and incredible dance moves. Their distinct, incredible people who care about each other so much, and put their all into their group. Though they may have different goals and dreams ultimately, and different side talents and projects, it’s clear their #1 focus is SHINee, and the Shawol that give their love to them. They love us because we love this group that they put their hearts and souls into. There’s no way to deny how much they love us. In return, let’s all do our best to be as amazing as they always believe we are.

Thank you, SHINee. Thank you Onew, Jonghyun, Minho, Key, and Taemin. Your future is shining bright.

( Thanks everyone who read! This was just my view of SHINee, so it may be perceived way different than the next fan. But everyone’s reason to love SHINee is just as correct. We’re all fans of this incredible group and I love all of the dedication Shawol have. Sorry if this was a long ramble and about the tense changes. Take care, everyone. )

#SHINee #shinee 10 years #shinee anniversary #shinee 10th anniversary #thank you shinee #here's to your bright future #chi talks

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violetemerald · 7 years

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youtube

Or watch the version with all sorts of potentially distracting, potentially just explanatory, text on top of the screen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Htd9luUsMe8

I had to delete the first copy of the no-text version and re-render/re-upload because I forgot to list Shameless as a fandom in the end credits. And I wanted to fix a small 1 frame black gap. But yeah there are actually 33 fandoms, not 32, I had missed one when counting them up, whoops!! XD For the original posting with the text all over, the original text version, I’m not deleting and re-posting because it’s an entry in a contest, but the mistakes are still present in there. But yeah this is my entry for the 3rd and Final round of the Who You Are contest GlowingAprilSky has been hosting, season 2. The round was called "Journey Backwards" and the rules stated here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVJHoaJ-cDE explain: "Start from where you are now, and go back to the beginning of your story. Show me all about you and your story."

Ask if you want me to type up the voiceovers.

Starting off with where I'm at currently in my life, I just turned 28 years old and I'm:

1. starting to do real Asexual Activism including last weekend I presented at one workshop and at one caucus at the Creating Change (an LGBTQ) conference in my city, I'm

2. employed and doing well at my administrative assistant type contractor job in a government building, I'm

3. learning to face my grief over my friend perpetrating a murder-suicide. See this video for more info: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGPFGnZ3XEE

4. I live with my wonderful dad as an adult with no intention of moving out anytime soon, and my dad has been having a few health diagnosis things lately and needs heart surgery to put in a defibrillator very soon

(Now those 4 are all kinda overlapping and at once. I'm trying to do this whole vid in reverse-chronological order, but my dad specifically found out in December he'd need to get a defibrillator ASAP so that a fairly likely sudden heart event will, instead of almost certainly killing him, much more likely him surviving it, surgery has now been scheduled for February, whereas it was still the end of November when my suicidal podcasting partner murdered his wife before ending his own life. But my grief over that friend of mine I did a podcast with, the part of this that is “my story”, is an ongoing thing (as grief often is)-that spans both before and after me finding out about my dad's recent news with his health. Similarly ongoing is me living with him as it's a “for many years” situation that's still important to capture SOMEWHERE for an autobiographical vid. Etc. So I was trying my best and picking when and how to capture a lot of this.

The car crash happened when I was distracted and near-tears over my breakup because of the music I was listening to too intensely and I think that's one of the "life events in my story" that I won't be forgetting any time soon.

So much of this vid is more personal than I can explain, little choices of scenes that ring truer than you could even know.

I think blogging helped me a lot with processing my asexuality and my mother's abuse, and I did it for years and still do it. I started about my mom on tumblr in 2010 even maybe but my real WordPress blog I started in 2014.

Around 1:43-1:48 in the video is me having started attending Asexual Meetups in mid-2014! Which is a HUGE deal, all my closest friends since then were pretty much from that group plus I organize the meetups a lot of the time now, host in my house etc!

Right after that, 1:48-1:52 I kinda "gloss over" my uncle's suicide which really was a pretty huge traumatic deal, and I still am grieving him in some ways, of course I am, he was such a great guy. I went on a suicide prevention walk last summer (2016) with him in mind but that didn't make it into the video, eventually I'll finish a full vid themed just around loved ones of suicidal people, I already started such a vid around then...

I really stressed before I knew about asexuality about being a 22 year old person who had never been kissed, being a 23 year old virgin, about being a social failure. I believed the amatonormative idea's like what John says to Sherlock ( https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/04/amatonormativity-expectations/ ) and I tried online dating and finally went on a date and had a first kiss, as soon as I healed from my foot surgery. I had this final foot surgery right after I graduated college. I spent a lot of my life on crutches, in casts, if you add up all 3 surgeries, the chronic foot pain after I first broke it is an important part of "my story" so I wanted to jam it in there. Go OTH for having a realistic recovery time and elevating Haley's foot a lot. ;) Not the 5 pillow high like me since it was so painful and needed to be so elevated but... STILL. XD

Blake on Criminal Minds is maybe the only Linguist I've ever seen on TV? Not realistic at all and I think a lot of what they call Forensic Linguistics is just myth and Criminal Minds is a pretty imperfect show but whatever. :P

I also "glossed over" just how important and involved I was in atheist circles, although the fact that I later volunteered for a hotline where people might call in and say "I think I'm an atheist" for 2.5 years maybe gives you some idea. My podcast was about atheism, and I also occasionally organize atheist meetups and regularly attend some atheist and freethinker meetup groups since around mid-2015. I'd like to probably make a full length atheism vid at some point. :P Which is a weird topic but I'd like to try. There's... There's NO good representation that goes far enough at all on TV, but I appreciate Grey's Anatomy a lot for doing what they've done with Jackson, and I'm glad Kurt on Glee was an atheist while being a beloved person who isn't even known for being too scientific or anything. Appreciate less that Grey's Anatomy, in season 14's premiere, seemingly erased Amelia's atheism that was first present on Private Practice (see this vid above)... :P

I withdrew from Chemistry, Semantics 2, and Infectious Human Disease in college. Those left W's on my transcript, which are better than failing. I had to make up the credits by taking summer classes at a different college in order to graduate on time (took French and Biological Athropology classes as my credits instead over two summers). I also "dropped", penalty free, Russian, and Medieval Spanish History. Senior year of high school I was living with my grandmother and lonely and became truly unhealthily addicted to vidding, which I still clearly am now a decade later but I think vidding is a part of my story that didn't make it into the vid (perhaps that would have been too meta?) lol... but I started then, senior year of high school, to get worse grades. My straight-A, I'm naturally smart and will succeed and am a little bit of a perfectionist tendencies were suddenly just flipped and not true really?? XD

Hopefully most of this is fairly self-explanatory. The court stuff could be pretty traumatic so I tried to capture those feelings... I've vidded stuff about my abusive mom before and about Beverly/Scarlett in general, and about Maggie/Abby in both a collab and my first ever personal vid about my mom... I was trying to vid mainly stuff I haven't before in those vids. :) I appreciate for my own sake the variety. And I rushed the ending to squeeze in some of me as a little kid.

I think I still belong with my dad, my whole life is tied together by my great dad. :) But also I just liked that Molly is a young girl and happy and that smile would be a fun way to end the video... :P I wasn't sure when I was editing it that that scene was really about my dad, until I was adding the text on top of the screen.

There is plenty left out but I'm pretty happy with this current result in terms of most of the really significant parts of my life story.

I think this song is about wanting "To let go of the pain I've held so long", to get from the bad to somewhere better. I think I'm pretty close to finding somewhere I belong in my life. I think this summarizes my past pretty well though, it's a little too angsty of a song but the lyrics are honestly HOPEFUL in some ways. It's about, as the bridge says, knowing yourself now that you do this on your own, it's about wounds healing, finding yourself!

Anyway... if you've read the whole description, WOW thank you for being so invested in learning more about my life. :P

#multi-fandom #actually asexual #abusive mother #fanvideo #atheism

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rhnuzlocke · 7 years

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Episode 19

Scene 9:

[It is a bright, clear evening, though not as striking as the one before it. Sootopolis bay is still mirror of the sky, reflecting the first few starts as they emerge. Roma swims silently through it, cutting the surface like a blade. She pulls up to the island in the middle of the bay and Ren disembarks. The small, domed island is just barely large enough to accommodate the gym and an elegant manor house. Ren walks up to the house and stops at the door. She looks up at the fancy molding around the doorway and then down at her outfit. It is a little nicer than what she wears most of the time, but maybe not quite fancy enough for the occasion. She shrugs and sends out Tāraki before knocking on the door. Wallace opens it and true to her fears he is impeccably dressed.]

Wallace: Welcome! [waving her inside] Come in. [calling down the hall] The guest of honor is here! [leading her and Tāraki down the hall] Any idea where Senri is?

Ren: Oh, no, I haven’t—

[Ren is cut off by raucous applause and cheers as they enter a large parlor. Ren freezes in the doorway and flushes at the overwhelmingly warm greeting. Most of the Hoenn League and their pokemon are already there, sitting on couches and chairs or scattered about the room. The coffee table in the middle is full of drinks as are the side tables. Wallace strides in past her and picks his drink up off the table. The others follow his example and everyone raises their glasses high.]

Wallace: To Ren!

All: To Ren!

[Steven catches her eye and smiles at her over the rim of his glass and Ren goes a deeper shade of red.]

Wallace: And to not being dead yet!

[That gets a couple chuckles and they all drink.]

Wallace: [to Ren] Can I get you anything?

Ren: [a bit shell-shocked] Do you have plum wine?

Wallace: Somewhere, I’m sure. Just give me a moment.

[Wallace disappears down a flight of narrow stairs in the back corner. Ren glances around and is somewhat comforted to find that besides Steven, who is practically always in a suit anyway, no one else is particularly dressed up. There is an empty space on the couch next to Steven and Ren takes it. Meanwhile Tāraki goes to drink from the huge bowl of sangria set out for the pokemon. He slides in next to Roxanne’s kabutops and strikes up a conversation. Steven’s excadrill shuffles over and joins in. Winona withdraws the shiny swellow perched on her shoulder and sends out Māia. The taillow spots her former teammate right away and flies over to him, landing on top of his head. After the initial fright, Tāraki is quite pleased to see her and his tail sways back and forth, almost tripping a passing shiftry.]

Steven: How are you?

Ren: Okay, I guess… [Ren glances around again, but no one is looking at her, instead talking amongst themselves] A lot better actually. This is just a little weird. How are you?

Steven: Much recovered. And don’t worry about them. We’re all trainers here, so we’re all more than a little eccentric.

Roxanne: Truer words were never spoken. [She perches on the coffee table in front of them.] And I’m including myself, obviously. I can’t believe you two got to see the inside of the Cave of Origin. What was it like, geologically I mean? Wallace won’t tell me a single thing and I’ve been grilling him for years.

Steven: [face lighting up] It was incredible, like no place I’ve ever seen. I can say for certain that Rosenthal’s hypothesis is true.

Roxanne: What?!

Steven: It’s obviously a lava tube but an ancient one. There is limestone coming through every crack.

Roxanne: So it must have sunk at some point.

Steven: [nodding vigorously] For millennia! [motioning with his hands] Then the whole island got pushed back up again and the new volcano erupted right over top of it! And this cave survived!

Roxanne: No!

Steven: Yes!

Roxanne: You have to talk to Wallace again. We need samples. We need them!

Steven: Believe me, I’m working on it.

Roxanne: [gasp] What about all of those quakes yesterday?! Do you think…?

Steven: No! No. It’s damaged sure, but not collapsed.

[Roxanne slumps in relief and Ren smiles as she watches the two of them yammer back and forth. Māia flies over and lands on Ren’s shoulder.]

Ren: Hey Māia!

Māia: [rubbing against Ren’s cheek] I’m so happy you’re okay! I fought Groudon too with Winona before they got to Sootopolis! Boomburst-ed ’em right in the face for ya!

Ren: Hell yeah!

[Ren holds up her fist and Māia bumps it with her foot. Wallace returns with a glass of plum wine for Ren and hand it off. Steven and Roxanne both start talking to him at once.]

Wallace: [holding up a hand to silence them] Upp-up-up, no. This is a party and we are celebrating and we will not be discussing anything to do with my position as Lorekeeper at any point this evening and that is final. [They both scowl but say nothing. Wallace hands Ren her drink.] I’m sorry about them, they are absolutely incorrigible on this particular subject.

[He seems about to join them when the doorbell rings and he sweeps out of the room again. He returns with Senri, Kaspa and Dizzy and their ursaring, umbreon and ninetails respectively. Everyone who is sitting stands up to greet the Sekiei Champion.]

Senri: Sorry we’re late.

Kaspa: Thank you all. Please be at ease.

[Everyone goes back to what they were doing. Kaspa and her umbreon claim an armchair while Senri goes to sit next to his daughter on the couch. Kenta gives Ren a nuzzle before joining Tāraki. Dizzy sort of stands in the corner near the doorway looking as though he would rather not be present.]

Wallace: I’d like to take this moment to remind everyone that you may only have one pokemon out at a time and if I see Jeffrey even for an instant, you are getting thrown out of here faster than if you teleported.

[Ren turns, eyebrows raised, wondering who that comment was directed at.]

Steven: [explaining] Jeffrey is Pheebs’s sableye. He ate some of Wallace’s contest jewelry. Twice now as a matter of fact. I think Wallace might actually kill him and Pheebs if he ever does it again.

Roxanne: Honestly she’s lucky he lets her come to these things at all anymore.

Steven: Certainly she’s not invited more than is necessary.

Senri: [putting an arm around his daughter and giving her a squeeze] Happy birthday, kiddo.

[Māia flaps a few times, buffeting Ren, before switching shoulders so that she can have more space.]

Ren: Oh, uh, thanks. I sort of forgot.

Senri: Did you call your mother?

Ren: Yeah, of course.

Steven: Arceus, I completely forgot.

Ren: That’s okay—

Roxanne: [hissing] Senri! Why didn’t you say anything!

Senri: What?

Roxanne: [slapping his knee] You know I love you but you are completely impossible sometimes. [She gives him one last censuring look before shifting her attention back to Ren and smiling.] Happy birthday.

Ren: Thank you.

Roxanne: Give my best to Asuka next time you talk to her. I’m sure you already know this, but she is such an amazing writer. I just finished her book and to be perfectly honest it’s not my genre, but I was completely blown away. I want to read the one she’s working on now so badly. Maybe she’ll let me at it sometime.

Ren: Probably not until the first draft is finished, but it couldn’t hurt to drop some hints.

[Wallace comes back and hands Senri a drink before plopping down in the armchair to Steven’s right.]

Ren: Thanks for having us all over. Your house is very nice.

Wallace: Thank you. My mentor Juan—[gesturing with his margarita] he’s right over there— built it and the gym. There was just a little cottage on this island when he became Gym Leader. Of course, I have added on a little. Sorry if I caught you off guard with the toast. I figured it would be better to make it brief and get it out of the way.

Ren: That’s okay. Better actually.

Wallace: Has Steven been behaving? Other than his rock talk, I mean.

Ren: Very much so. The charm offensive is at a minimum.

Wallace: [laughing] That’s a nice word for it. I keep forgetting you’ve already spent a lot of time with our League Champion.

Ren: Yep. It’s been an experience.

Wallace: Well, as his friend let me just apologize for how much he has flirted with you.

Ren: What?

Steven: I didn’t—

Wallace: [rolling his eyes] Please darling, you flirt with everyone. [to Ren] Anyway, he doesn’t mean to. It’s like a nervous tick. He can’t help himself.

[Ren is trying to smile and trying not to blush and failing spectacularly at both. To top it off she can feel her father staring at her and Steven and she tries to sink into the couch.]

Wallace: [with a haughty smirk] Fortunately, some of us have a resistance to his charms.

Steven: [sipping his drink] Seemed to work on you just fine in university.

Wallace: [face dropping into annoyance] Below the belt, Steven.

Steven: I think that was more than fair, Rire.

Ren: [realization dawning] Wait, you’re Rire?

Wallace: Rire is my first name. I prefer to go by my last name, but Steven started calling me ‘Rire’ while we were dating and could never seem to break the habit. So I still call him ‘darling’ out of spite.

[A lot of things are starting to sink into place for Ren and her brain is pretty much in full panic mode, which shows on her face. Fortunately Tāraki comes over to deliver her.]

Tāraki: Hey Ren, Steven’s excadrill was saying we should maybe let Kōtai and his sandslash hang out for a while. I’ve already had a bunch of that great juice stuff and the kabutops showed me this awesome slicing technique, so I don’t really mind.

Ren: Okay. Sure thing.

[Tāraki waves goodbye to Māia as Ren withdraws him and sends out Kōtai. The sandslash looks a little puzzled until he sees Steven sending out his sandslash and he perks up. Kōtai winks at his trainer before shuffling over to talk to her. Tate and Lisa enter the room, clearly let in by someone else. Wallace gets up to greet them and Tate gives him a hug.]

Wallace: So glad you could make it. How are things? Have your students stopped misgendering you yet?

Tate: Yes. Or at least out loud.

Wallace: Well that’s something, I guess. [Wallace’s milotic slithers into the room followed by a politoed.] And that will be the food. Excuse me for a minute. Steven, come help me with this.

[Steven grumbles and gets up.]

Senri: I’ll give you a hand too.

[They all head out, followed by the politoed. The milotic stays behind, coiling himself up in a corner. Dizzy approaches him and starts a conversation, which Ren thinks is a little odd, especially when his ninetails, who she assumed was translating, gets up and goes to sit with Kaspa’s umbreon and the two continue speaking as if nothing happened. Ren decides she needs another drink and gets up. The twins take her place on the couch and start gabbing with Roxanne as Ren pours herself some more plum wine from the bottle Wallace left out for her. Pheebs and Sidney join her by the liquor cabinet, still in the midst of their own conversation and pour themselves shots. Ren watches them shotgun whatever it is and doesn’t notice Flannery walking up on her other side.]

Flannery: Hey Ren.

Ren: Hi.

Flannery: [looking a little nervous] I’m sorry about what I said yesterday. I didn’t mean—I wasn’t thinking—I just…

Ren: It’s totally fine. Brawly said it best: none of us were digging that situation. But it all worked out in the end, so let’s not worry about it anymore.

[Ren raises her glass and Flannery smiles as she clinks hers against it.]

Flannery: Happy birthday.

Ren: Thank you.

Sidney: Yeah, happy birthday. Which one is it?

Ren: My nineteenth.

Phoebe: Damn. You’re like an ovum.

Sidney: [grinning] Hey, you’re only a year younger than Flan. [smirking even wider] Fancy that.

Flannery: [flushing bright red] I have to use the restroom.

[She puts down her drink and flees.]

Ren: [watching her go, concerned] Is she okay?

Phoebe: Flannery? Oh yeah, she’s fine. She just had a major crush on you after that gym battle.

[Ren turns back to Phoebe and Sidney, eyes widening. They both do another shot and Sidney sways a little as he slams his glass back down on the table. He is clearly quite inebriated already, but Phoebe shows little evidence of being anything more than tipsy.]

Phoebe: [shrugging] She was trying to be subtle about it in the chat but—

Sidney: It was hilarious.

Phoebe: Completely transparent.

Sidney: And then Senri came on.

Phoebe: [cackling] And he was like: “just to clarify, you are interested in dating my daughter?”

Sidney: So Flan is scared shitless, right? And most of us have commented by this point, so we’re all culpable. Shit is very tense.

Phoebe: But Flannery is Asuna’s granddaughter, so she does the only honorable thing and admits to it.

Sidney: Even I am flipping my shit at this point.

Phoebe: [very matter of fact] You flip at everything. You’re the designated drama queen of this League.

Sidney: True.

Phoebe: [turning back to Ren] So then your father is just like: “well she’s never had an actual boyfriend or anything before, so she could easily be gay, but she hasn’t told me so I don’t actually know.” No “my daughter is off limits” or threats or any of that papa ursaring bullshit. Just: “my daughter hasn’t discussed her orientation with me, so by all means give it a go and see what happens.”

[Sidney is dying laughing and Phoebe chuckles quietly, clearly amused but in a more understated way. Ren has no idea how to respond except that she is blushing crimson.]

Glacia: [drifting into the circle] Ren’s lucky if you ask me. How is it Senri’s business anyway? When I was her age, my father was forever trying to scare off anyone who showed even the slightest interest. And did that stop me from getting embarrassing amounts of ass?

Phoebe: We all know the answer to that.

Glacia: No it didn’t. I would have been much better off if we could have just had a frank discussion on the subject instead of him insisting that I could never have sex with anyone ever.

[Phoebe is nodding.]

Glacia: [sarcastic] And yet, miracle of miracles, I was capable of making my own decisions and made it through just fine anyway.

Phoebe: So yeah, Ren, your dad is pretty chill. He’s not on that often, but it’s usually a good time.

Roxanne: [walking over] Pheebs, are you talking about the chat? The first rule of the chat is that you do not talk about the chat!

Phoebe: You’re the reason she already knows about it in the first place.

Roxanne: [whining] That was an accident!

Sidney: Oh! Tell us about that time that you were dating like five dudes at once and then they all wanted to take you to prom.

Phoebe: Classic Glacia.

[Ren looks as though her soul has flown out of her body and into another plane of existence as the others continue to talk around her.]

Glacia: [wistful] Hmm. I don’t really have the energy for that kind of thing anymore, but it was fun. Anyway, where to begin? First there was Chad, or maybe it was Scott first? Who can remember these things? I started going with them around the same time so it doesn’t really—

Roxanne: Not another one of your sexcapades, Glacia.

Glacia: They asked about it! You are free to listen and enjoy or not as you please.

Roxanne: But consider that Ren may not want to listen.

Glacia: Oh I’m sorry, dear. [pating Ren on the shoulder] You do look a little green around the gills. I apologize, I wasn’t paying attention.

Ren: [squeaking] It’s fine.

Roxanne: Come, let’s wander over here for a bit. Sidney won’t be satisfied until he gets the rest of it out of her.

[Ren waves as Roxanne leads her away and catches sight of Sidney mouthing “thank you”. Roxanne walks over to join Brawly, who is leaning back against the wall with his hariyama.]

Brawly: Yo Ren! How’s it?

Ren: Pretty good.

Brawly: Does the grass dude still surf?

Ren: Every chance he gets.

Brawly: Awesome!

Ren: We actually found a pretty good spot north of Lilycove.

Brawly: Wailmer Bay, right? I’m a born and bred Dewford dude myself, but I’ll admit there’s some pretty nice waves to be had up there.

[They talk for a while and Roxanne brings Winona over to join in. After a bit, they wander over to the central coffee table to get food. Ren, Steven and Senri get into a discussion with Kaspa in Kantonese while Wallace splits his attention between the twins, Dizzy’s ninetails, and keeping half an eye on everything. Pretty soon everyone is in the middle of the room, eating and talking and laughing. Everyone is also drinking, except maybe Wallace and Dizzy, who mostly sticks to the corner with Wallace’s milotic. Sidney is predictably the first to give up on the vertical plane and lays down across Glacia, Phoebe and Steven on the couch. Ren is perched on the arm of the couch next to Steven and leaning back against him for support while Kaspa continues to talk to her and Senri, who has dragged a chair over to sit next to her. Flannery is sitting on the floor in front of the couch and she slumps over the coffee table with a big, exaggerated sigh.]

Flannery: [groaning] Women are just so pretty, you know?

Steven: [nudging her shoulder consolingly with his foot] I know.

Sidney: Steven! Show us your tattoo!

Steven: Why is it every time we get drunk together, you try and get me to take my clothes off?

Sidney: You know I’m not trying to get in your pants, man. Just under your shirt.

Steven: Mmhm.

Sidney: I wanna see it for the artistry! You’re all about looks so it has to be bitchin’. [appealing to the rest of the assembled] Like there is no way Steven’s tat is ugly. We all agree on this. Wallace has seen it. It’s bitchin’, right?

Wallace: Just accept the homoerotic subtext of this desire and move on. You’ll feel better.

Sidney: Alright. [he takes a deep breath, then chants] Take off your shirt! Take off your shirt! Take off your shirt!

Phoebe: [joining in] Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!

Steven: [shoving her] Knock it off! I’m not showing you all my tattoo.

Sidney: [whining] Whyyy noooot!

Phoebe: I can’t believe the man who took my title won’t even do me the slightest favor. I mentored you for a year.

Steven: First of all, you were required to. And second of all, you so completely did not.

Sidney: Come on, Steven.

Steven: It’s personal.

Phoebe: After all we’ve been through together?

Steven: Don’t start, or I’ll go there and you know where there is.

Phoebe: You’ve known me long enough that you should know you can’t shame me.

Sidney: Yeah, give it up. There is no shaming the Pheebs.

Steven: I am not taking my shirt off with the Sekiei League Champion sitting right there!

[Steven snaps his mouth shut, suddenly realizing that said Champion probably heard him. Fortunately for Steven, Kaspa is currently glaring at Wallace, who looks truly uncomfortable for the first time. Dizzy’s ninetails is pointedly looking away from him, slender snout in the air. Meanwhile, Sidney and Phoebe continue to badger Steven, undeterred, and Ren decides to intervene.]

Ren: Lay off him! [a little quieter] I want to see it as much as the next person, [vehemently] but it’s not cool to force him.

Steven: [laughing] Are you defending my honor right now?

Ren: [defiant] So what if I am?

Phoebe: [flatly] Steven’s the Champion.

Sidney: What are you gonna do?

Ren: Need I remind you all that I just defeated Groudon? I’ll take any of you! I’ll take you right now!

Sidney: [sitting up] Whoa! Them’s fightin’ words!

Flannery: Oh Arceus, I love you.

Lisa: [patting her on the back] That was audible, Flannery.

Flannery: You mean I thought so loud that you heard it?

Lisa: No, I meant it came out of your mouth.

Flannery: [staring into the abyss] Yep. That is my life.

[Lisa and Roxanne coax Flannery off the coffee table and she leans back against the couch between them. Her head lolls on Roxanne’s shoulder and she falls asleep. Glacia has vacated the couch in favor of an armchair where she sits talking to Juan, also in an armchair. Meanwhile Ren and Steven are still debating Phoebe and Sidney across the couch with Māia gesturing threateningly from Ren’s shoulder for emphasis. Brawly and Winona are sitting in front of the coffee table discussing something wind and wave related judging from the way Brawly is moving his hands. Wallace is back in his original chair across from them and deep in conversation with Tate. Kaspa and Senri have gone more or less quiet and are half listening. Kaspa looks over the gathering and gives a rare, soft smile.]

Kaspa: This is a good party. [She squints and looks around again.] Wait… Where is Dizzy?

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Jonas Brothers Chasing Happiness: 11 Revelations From Their New Doc

During the opening minutes of Chasing Happiness — the Jonas Brothers documentary premiering on Amazon Prime on Tuesday (June 4) — Kevin waxes poetic about how the band needs to change. They need everyone to be comfortable, he says, and have open and honest dialogues and not look at the past through rose-colored glasses. Eventually, Nick interjects, telling his oldest brother, “I think you’re afraid to be confrontational with me.”

It feels like a private moment; like we’re not supposed to be listening to their conversation. That sense of voyeurism trickles on for the next 90 minutes, as the John Lloyd Taylor-directed doc chronicles the band’s improbably rapid rise to superstardom, their break-up, and eventually, their chart-topping 2019 comeback. We see Kevin, Joe, and Nick speaking candidly together and individually, and their words give some illuminating context to the band’s new album, arriving on Friday (the doc even features some snippets of unreleased songs!). Below, check out 11 of the biggest things we learned from Chasing Happiness.

They were shut out by their church

After Jonas Brothers got signed, the label had a vision of them as a punk-rock band. That obviously didn’t pan out, but the music the boys were making was still edgier than what people had expected — especially since their father was the pastor of a church. “I think there was some judgment on us for not being a Christian band,” Nick said. “Singing about girls started to become an issue.” Eventually, Kevin Sr. resigned after facing mounting pressure, and the family subsequently lost their home. Around the same time, the band was dropped from their label, but the boys kept writing songs and eventually scored a lucrative record deal with Disney.

Nick’s diabetes diagnosis was a “life-shifting moment”

While the band was grinding away with a grueling touring schedule, Nick started showing some scary health symptoms — he started getting moody and agitated, lost a bunch of weight, and could never quench his thirst. He eventually got diagnosed with diabetes, but the band ultimately decided not to tell the label because they were scared of being dropped. It was a “life-shifting moment for everybody,” Joe said, even recalling, “I passed out in the hospital room because I couldn’t see him hooked up to all these wires.”

Nick was head-over-heels for Miley Cyrus

“I think my brothers and I became closest when we found a common ground beyond music and family: girls,” Nick said. While Kevin confessed that he and Joe “were, like, wingman-ing each other constantly,” Nick only had eyes for one girl, after the band made a cameo on Hannah Montana. Kev recalled, “That changed girls for Nick forever. When he met Miley, I think that kid’s head exploded.” From them on, Nick adorably admitted, “I started writing about love. And I actually knew what it felt like.” Cue “Lovebug!”

They regret their Disney Channel show, Jonas

In a current-day scene where the brothers decide to play a drinking game that basically involves answering tough questions as honestly as they can, Nick said his biggest regret with the band was Season 2 of their Disney Channel sitcom. He admitted it was a “bad move” that “stunted their growth,” explaining, “We couldn’t evolve because of it.” Kevin added that the show was presented to them as a way to keep them relevant while they were touring, but it wasn’t on-brand with them or their music. The show, they lamented, presented them as younger and more “uncool” then they really were. (It did, however, give us “Pizza Girl,” and for that, we are eternally thankful.)

Joe felt like a failure after his fizzled attempt at solo stardom

During a hiatus in 2011 and 2012, Nick ventured off to Broadway and made music with his own side project, Nick Jonas & The Administration. Joe, meanwhile, attempted to make it on his own with a solo R&B/pop record that quickly flopped. “The music didn’t do as well as I had anticipated,” Joe said about it, adding that “it was my first failure” and it was “embarrassing” to feel like he couldn’t do anything without his brothers.

Kevin’s reality show became a big point of contention

While Nick and Joe were off pursuing solo careers, Kevin was “living [his] best life” as a newlywed. After marrying Danielle Deleasa, the couple documented their lives on an E! reality show called Married to Jonas, which ran for two seasons. His youngest brothers weren’t thrilled about the invasion of privacy, admitting they didn’t want anything to do with it because they didn’t want the show to dictate who they were in the public eye. “Our whole life was a closed-door meeting, and Kevin invited cameras into that meeting,” Joe explained. “We felt like he was going to air out a lot of our shit that we didn’t want people to know about.” Needless to say, tensions were building in the band, which ultimately leads us to…

The band’s split was devastating on all fronts

Jonas Brothers reunited in 2013, but it wasn’t the same; Joe flat-out admitted, “We were not happy,” while Nick confessed, “We hate each other, basically.” Nick admitted he had a panic attack the night before breaking the news to his brothers that he wanted to call it quits, and Kevin said Joe “shut down” and took the news the hardest. “I felt betrayed. I felt lied to. I felt angry. Numb,” Joe said of his reaction. “What hurt the most is that it came from Nick. Because he is my best friend and I thought that me Kevin and Nick were going to do this forever and it was us against the world, you know?”

Joe and Nick thought Kevin was holding them back

In one of the hardest moments to watch, the boys recalled how, after the band broke up, some radio stations threatened to never play JB’s music or any of their solo music if they didn’t show up for some promised radio gigs. Nick and Joe went, but Kevin was told that he didn’t need to go. He said it was the “hardest moment of [his] entire life” watching his younger bros play the band’s music without him there, and Joe candidly told him it was because he and Nick thought they were being held back.

“I think it was because we thought you were holding us back,” he confessed. “That’s the truth. I think there was moments that Nick and I wanted to do our own thing and we felt like your focus was not in it anymore and it wasn’t a priority for you. Starting a family was, and your guitar playing kind of fell in the backseat.” Joe continued by saying that he now realizes how “fucked up” that was, and apologized to Kev that he had to go through that.

“Please Be Mine” is still a certified jam

Confession: there are two times I cried while watching this documentary. The first was early on, with old footage of the brothers playing “Please Be Mine,” a love song they wrote in their basement that went on to become the closing track off 2006’s It’s About Time. The second time was towards the end of the doc, with current-day footage of them performing the song, sounding just as heavenly as ever. “Eight years, still a jam,” Nick noted after they finished it. Truer words have never been spoken.

They’re all family men now

And now, I present you with the cutest quotes from all three brothers about falling in love with their respective wives. Here’s Joe: “The impact of falling in love has made me want to be a better man, a better person, and ultimately, made me a better brother. Kevin: “We all spent time apart truly coming into our own. I focused on my family, on being the best husband and father that I could be.” And, finally, Nick: “The time apart was necessary. I was able to pursue different creative avenues and experiment with life in a way I never could before. And it led me to find something greater than I could ever imagine: love. And this love has changed my life forever.”

Frankie’s the biggest JB fan ever, thankyouverymuch

Stick around during the end credits for a glimpse of the Bonus Jonas! The youngest JoBro, 18-year-old Frankie, makes the cutest cameo, telling the camera, “I am their number one fan. I know every lyric of every song. I love their music so much.”

The post Jonas Brothers Chasing Happiness: 11 Revelations From Their New Doc appeared first on Gyrlversion.

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