#but it mostly just feels so harsh towards a character who's actions I can absolutely understand

[saerins]

What is this thing about Sae not being able to help himself?? Bestie is down bad (and so are we all)

Also idk but I just imagined something angsty? Like imagine we're not first choice to Sae (or whoever it may be). Like we were the childhood friend or the one that stuck around after all the ups and downs only to lose to someone who just met him. And none of us are toxic in a way? Like no one is being a trash bag or anything. It's just unfortunate circumstances.

AND we do fight for it, we try to win his affection but we lose competing with the other person. AND we break 4th wall (or use other characters) where we find out that we are hated by other people for "getting in the way" of the "main couple". But feelings just happen and no one is guilty for loving someone and trying to pursue it.

Like do we as 2nd lead, be perceived as trashy and essentially deserving to be punished (like a lot of the time with 2nd leads) or what? Idk just a thought after hearing a lot from Bianca. I mean she's not a good/reasonably sound person but what if she was normal. She was someone who wasn't toxic or wasn't anything bad. She just wanted to be loved.

(Lmao I disappear and then come back to dump this. Uni is still kicking me but I hope you're doing well!!)

- 💫 anon

hahaha sae did help himself 😋 all the while thinking of yn lmao he’s really down bad </3

and as for that; i would say right now bianca is doing a little bit more than normal (going by her nature and what she did to other girls who got close to sae) but still would be kind of normal all the same, in a way ? i think a lot of the dislike is just playful hahaa as for whether she ends up being a trash bag, i’ll have to keep you in the dark for it but let’s say it’s yn—putting a readmore for this haha

okay if roles were reversed and yn was in bianca’s shoes and bianca is the new girl sae got to know; if we tried to still make him fall for us—i think that’s going to be perceived as normal. we’re just trying, no harm. but there’s also what most people are theorising that bianca is trying to do now (in the actual story) which is to sabotage and in a way “play unfairly” (think mirin haha) which, if i wrote it as yn (roles reversed), i think yn would be hated on too haha especially if the other girl has done absolutely nothing and exhibited no hostility or even bad intent to us. i would think it’s mostly about the intentions behind their actions and right now bianca’s is unclear haha so we have supporters and also non-supporters. we only know she wants sae to herself and have been proven to enact intimidation tactics to other girls to push them away from him. which is not so normal haha so there’s already doubt there. but if she wasn’t that way, if she didn’t do that, i don’t think the hate for her would be as much tbh haha but in some ways, whenever anybody tries to cut into what we want, most of us would hate it so there will be that animosity towards her anyway. and that, i think, is what’s actually normal.

she wants to be loved, but so does yn. heck, so does eita haha but there’s a distinct difference in how they go about doing it which, if more people related/agreed to the way bianca was doing it, then i have no doubt people would start going against my yn too hahaha it’s just that it’s mostly typical for the second lead to be more toxic, i think, and so they naturally garner the hate :’)

again, like you said, if bianca was completely normal and did none of those toxic things, people probably wouldn’t hate but most of them can probably see that sae doesn’t feel the same (because of the huge difference in how he treats bianca vs yn) and naturally would want bianca to back off because it’s really no good to her to keep clinging on to something that has proven time and again is not for her, as harsh as it sounds (it’s a life lesson i learned personally too so i guess i relate and feel strongly for it hahahah).

anyway !! if this doesn’t make sense (because i’m so so bad at phrasing this 😭) hopefully you guys will understand more once i drop more of that sae/bianca lore hahaha sobs sorry this got long i was just thinking and typing as i went :’) i love how you made me think though :p

[prettyflyshyguy]

WE'RE FINALLY HERE. WE'RE FINALLY AT S3E7 - FRESH BLOOD

And you KNOW ya girl has a lot more to say about this one so let's just get this party started shall we.

And now that I have CONTEXT I have THOUGHTS

The tragedy of this character is awful. But I'm appreciative for what it allows as a narrative device (as much as it is a shame that this random woman is negated to being that, and only that; a device) - after they've SEEN vampires be good and live a peaceful life. It's harsh that they just cull her off and decide that its a decision they are allowed to make.

This will surely not come back to haunt them when Dean gets infected in three seasons time.

I am a big sucker for anytime this show has them Decide something for others, only to be hit with "Oh no now its happening to us" and the immense emotional turmoil that causes.

Going to lean into this a lot more in the fic I think.

Bella hon I love you, but seeing Dean give a genuine threat because the man's got one thing to lose now and he's not letting anything take it away while he's still alive; marvelous.

Throw one too many low blow shots about him being no better than you and maybe just maybe he starts to act like it.

BLOOD JAR BLOOD JAR BLOOD JAR

Now I did skip to watch this episode cause I can't help myself, I like vampires too much and spn hits the spot. Having said that re-watching this with context on GORDON has made it a lot more interesting.

Now I really. Like. Gordon. He's a great antagonist. His voice, his mannerisms, the way he is so uncomfortably unsettlingly calm. Phenomenal. He has some really iconic lines and moments in this show and he's such a good foil to Dean.

Absolute epitome of "become the thing you despise" but deep end side of it. Like he's become so consumed by obsession and righteousness in his actions and his drive is just too strong.

I enjoyed that this ep looks at the primal survival instinct. And the duality of the Winchester's (mostly Sam) attitude towards Gordon being; man's gotta go, contrasted with the way Gordon talks to the Vampire. It's the gradual build up of detachment. Gordon is a monster. So are the Winchesters. None of them want to see that in themselves. The Vampire is too. They're all just coming at it from different angles. Each party has deep rooted trauma and pain, and each are dealing with it in a terrible way.

Sam's uncomfortable attitude shift of "It's Gordon or us" is harrowing. Dean being the more hesitant one is interesting. He's the first to chop off the head of a infected woman who's confused, upset, and pleading for help - but Gordon makes him uncomfortable (despite everything) and Sam's cold cut attitude doesn't help. I mean they've left him alive twice and each time he's only gotten more ruthless.

Dean cracks a joke about Sam not pushing back against killing him, but that feels far more like Dean fishing for Sam's conscience because he's unsure what the right thing to do is because Gordon isn't by definition an 'evil thing' in the lore books. Sam's no longer the grounding rock.

Oh if it were so easy.

You can really see they were dabbling with the transformation scenes in this and they just came in SWINGING when S6 rolled around.

the SPN vampire teeth are growing on me (HAR. HAR. HAR.) regrettably.

Ok so. This really begs the question. How much willpower does it take to resist. How much does that differ, per person? Is this Gordon just full SNAPPING upon being turned? Does he just immediately relent due to him already being on the brink? He has the most intense and unhinged attitude of all the hunter's that've been given primary screen time, so maybe its fair to say that part of him just completely caved in once he got hit with the overstimulation + hunger combo.

I think back to his introduction episode and how he talked to Dean about the hole inside yourself, like the pit or void you'll never fill or satisfy. How he used that to drive himself forward. Working solo, without a rock to anchor himself to (Dean has Sam) maybe Gordon just completely lost himself in this initial phase after turning.

This also echoes the S6 moment when Dean visits Lisa and also gets violent. Dean also loses control but ALMOST bites her. He still throws her and Ben around like they're ragdolls, which he clearly never intended to do.

Once again, great shots in this show. However I do wonder if its just my personal bias, or if there is a bit of an imbalance of woman corpse. Don't want to throw a stone from a glass house though. Just feels weird not mentioning it when I'm like "WOW SICK SHOT" and its. This picture.

Anyway. More to the point. "You don't understand. I was desperate. You ever felt desperate? I've lost everyone I ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone."

Now THIS is what I'm talking about. It's so fucking human. What a shame, we're forced to see ourselves in something we deeply and truly want to believe isn't like us at all. Oh Dear. Reconcile THAT Dean you little shit.

This is so nicely echoed in S6 - the vampire is done, he's lost everything and he'd just rather have it end. The nihilism, the bottom of the pit. The end of the downward spiral.

Gordon's turn on Eternal Damnation and he wants to get off.

Once again I deeply enjoy the way the Hunters just drop everything so cold when something happens to someone. Including Sam and Dean in that, they struggle cause they're younger, less experienced, less jaded. The older hunters are fucking brutal. Gordon's partner, despite genuinely believing Sam has to die, just full send tells Gordon "No I can't let you take out Sam first. I need to kill you right now."

Despite everything, the common goal that they both wholeheartedly believed in, that they both gunned for so hard, thrown out the window when one is turned. Hung out to dry.

And how quickly they all turn on each other when this happens.

Anyway I think lore wise the vampires get stronger once turned, but I'm guessing drinking human blood enhances this further. Making notes for myself cause Dean's on a strictly vegetarian diet and this complicates matters for him of course.

But yeah, jesus, Gordon.

Anyway

Now THIS is something I gotta remember - Dean becomes a fucking menace when he's scared. Jokes get more intense, he has no filter, does not stop at nothing even despite the increasing protesting of the people around and closest to him and he full disconnects from loved ones.

"No. I'm a monster."

UGH. Compels me.

It's the resignation that's so fun I think. Like he just snaps, decided Yeah, this is it. Eats some people, then goes back to the original plan of Kill Sam. But its the way he leans into being the monster. Gordon was a mess before, but now its like he's truly just let go of a part of himself as he truly believes there's no alternative. Every vampire he's met and killed he saw as a monster and nothing more. Despite one, in front of him, exercising self control, he's still committed to viewing them as only monsters.

Once turned he can only accept the singular reality that he is a monster, and so, he does nothing to combat it. He embraces it.

Is it easier to kill him when he's a vampire? Or was it a further reminder that he was, and still is, a person?

Closing thoughts: good ep, easily one of my favorites. But you already knew that.

Love you Gordon you bloody legend.

[space-spring]

Got through the first few battles of Let Us Cling Together! Pictured here is Denam hanging out with Lanselot (who I'm side-eying much less now).

Main highlights:

The UI + tutorial text! It's a little detail but I'm kind of obsessed with how well the UI blends into the world of the game. All of it uses the same fantasy-esque voice that you'd expect any of the characters to actually talk with, and it's just a fun detail. I wish I'd gotten more screenshots from the middle of the first tutorial battle, but the one below kinda shows what I mean:

Another highlight: this entire conversation/fight that happens between Canopus (one of the more experienced NPCs) and Vyce (Denam's friend (?) who everyone wants to throttle).

Not pictured here is Vyce + Canopus actually committing friendly fire mid-battle by throwing rocks at each other. Again, I'm a little insane over all the little ways they're integrating the game mechanics into the story; I've played around with modding/game stuff before and always find myself giving up on little details like this because they're so much of a hassle, so it's so so cool to me that they went through the trouble to actually have their HP decrease. That's immersion baby!!!!!!

Same thing with the sprite animations during cutscenes; there are so many unique animations (most with a not-insignificant amount of frames), and I can only imagine what a labor of love it was to put all of those together

Dame Raveness! Mostly she looks like Sumia from fe awakening while acting absolutely nothing like Sumia so it was just funny to me. I'm not sure if she's supposed to be a major character or anything but I'm hoping she shows up again.

Catiua is wonderful and I want good things for her. Unfortunately I keep doing everything she tells me not to and effectively keep forcing her to stick it out with me and Vyce. I'm assuming she'll be a little more leaned toward the neutral route, which is making me wonder whether I might shoot for that one, but I haven't quite figured all of that out yet.

There was also a level with some ghosts and necromancy that was fun, and now I am stuck on the next battle after that (which also has ghosts and necromancy). The difficulty curve is nice!!! I'm slowly being forced to figure out how to apply the skill points/spell slots in an efficient way, so I'm feeling very smart and strategic which is my #1 goal in trpgs. Also recently realized I can hurt the Risen undead foes by using heal spells, which is handy

Plot-wise I'm excited to figure out what exactly it is I'm doing haha; my initial thought was that Vyce and Denam's strings were being pulled by bigger political forces + that they weren't super clear on what the consequences of their actions were going to be, but I'm also currently fighting a guy who's pretty much a dead ringer for the Nergal-esque "I suck the life out of people for fun" type of villain, so it seems like maybe I was being a little too harsh on em.

[volgdemagischewinx]

I think the reason why Riven was a better boyfriend to Darcy than Musa because Darcy actively played up his good sides (acts of love via helping/service) meanwhile Musa is Miss Independent who wants emotional availability (not his strong forte) and had a bit of a tendency to expect him to read her mind, which is impossible for him. Meanwhile if she only asked he'd go anywhere for her/do anything for her. He'll take her cello to and from the repair shop, he'll go to auditions with her the whole day just to carry her trombone for her. She has insomnia and wants to watch movies at 3am?he'll get up and drive to Alfea. But she needs to ASK. Not because of a powerplay but because he needs to be told what she wants done. But noooooooo, she wants to know if he loves her or not, she wants him to reassure her that her friends won't die 🙄 (the nerve of her, right! 😛)

Disclaimer I have no support from canon from this I pulled all of it from my ass. But *insert Marge Simpson meme here* I think it's neat

No, no I think that's pretty accurate actually. Riven struggles a lot with communication, but he is the type to do just about anything for those he cares about. And as much as I do think s1 Driven is more interesting with the idea that Darcy did catch feelings at some point, he was still primarily a tool for her. She didn't really need more from him than for him to be the guy that did everything she asked, so at the time he did do better in that relationship

Musa, on the other hand needs Riven to be emotionally available to her, like you said. And that's something he really struggles with. You're also right about how she kinda does expect him to read her mind. It's something that I think is quite common for teenage girls to expect from their boyfriends. The whole idea that if he really cared he would know what you need from him. It's a pretty toxic mindset in general, but especially with a guy like Riven who, at least as I interpret him, is autistic af and has an even harder time than most at picking up on those little hints. He needs to be told something directly and Musa just won't do that

I mentioned a while back that I have the HC that, for versions where Musa/Riven does work out, Tecna is actually a big part of why they learn to communicate better. Since she's autistic too she can understand Riven's pov more and eventually explain to Musa that she just needs to be direct with him. Likewise she could teach Riven some tricks on how to read social situations better, so that he might be able to tell when she just needs some emotional support

That wouldn't be the end of it of course. They both have massive trust issues to overcome and with their home lives neither of them actually learned what a healthy relationship should be growing up(I actually think that's why Musa is so bad about expecting those unrealistic things from Riven. She gets it all from magazines and tv). I think no matter how you swing it with these two, getting to a point where their relationship is a healthy and happy one would require a lot of effort and growth from both of them. But that's just part of why they are one of the few canon ships I can actually really get into. It feels honest, real, and true to their characters

[dreamingofaizawa]

A Dragon’s Bride

Dragon Prince! Bakugo Katsuki x Fem! Fae Princess! Reader

Fanstasy AU

***18+ Fic***

If you are not 18 years old, you are not old enough to ride. Please exit the line and find another. Thank you and have a good day.

Warnings: Arranged marriage, smut, soft to rough sex, light fluff. Characters are aged up, Bakugo and reader are the same age.

Word Count: 4.7k

Author’s Note: So I had this idea after reading other fantasy AU fics, and I just really wanted a soft Bakugo. I know he’s an angry moody mf but idgaf aight? I didn’t wanna get super descriptive with the smut, just cause I wanted it to be more like ‘lovemaking’ than just sex, you feel me? Sorry if the pace is a little weird, I didn’t spend a whole lot of time on this lmao. Anyway, here’s dragon boi Bakubitch.

Enjoy the read~

*

*

*

As the youngest daughter of the Fae King and Queen, you knew it was only a matter of time before you were put in an arranged marriage. Your eldest brother had taken his Fae wife and would ascend to the throne in due time, and your older sister had already been married off to the Elven Prince Shouto.

Despite knowing you’d need to marry for political ties, you hadn’t expected to be sent off quite so soon. Your 19th birthday had passed only a few days ago, and that was when the news was broken to you. You were to be married to the Dragon Prince Katsuki Bakugo, soon to be the Dragon King, for his parents had expressed their wish to step down as royals rather early for Dragons of their age. 

The journey was rather long, even as you flew with your guards in a beeline to the lands of the Dragons. Throughout the weeklong trip your nerves were building and the mild fear settled into your bones. The Dragon Prince was infamous for his temper and short fuse, his anger always taken out specifically on Izuku Midoriya, the Fairy Prince from his  childhood. Your kingdom had not tied itself with the Dragons in centuries, and this alliance meant the Fae’s history of stubborn seclusion and independence would begin to diminish. This was a mission you could not afford to fail.

The final night camping was the worst. Sleep seemed to fear you, and you tossed and turned, attempting to settle your nerves. But it was to no avail. The sky began to lighten into a dull gray, signaling the coming morning. The guard came to wake you up, and soon you were bathed and back in the sky. Not having slept was of no concern, you’d gone days without sleep before and were just fine.

By midday you’d reached the edge of the Dragon kingdom, and were landing in front of the mountain castle just before sundown. The castle was gorgeous on its own, the face of it being the only exposed piece of the structure with the rest of the castle buried inside the mountain itself. The entrance was large, a platform that no doubt acted as a landing pad for the royal Dragons. Warm light poured from the large arched doorway as the huge stone doors opened as you approached.

You were greeted by the King, Queen, and the Prince himself. You sank before them in a low curtsy, pitch black wings spread out and flattened to your sides in a display of reverence. The King and Queen themselves bowed their heads toward you as a sign of respect, and when the Prince looked away indifferently, the Queen forced the boy down into a bow by grabbing his head and shoving it down, leaving you shocked. 

You were of lower rank than he, so there was no reason for him to bow his head to you. Noticing your confused state, the Dragon Queen spoke. “Rank is of little concern here, child. My son must learn a grain of respect if he is to be King.” With a small smile, you nod in understanding, too afraid to speak. Your nerves were bound to come through in your voice, and you refused to show signs of weakness in front of Dragons powerful as they.

Tonight was one of rest, and there were rooms for your royal guards to rest for the night before they had to make the journey back to Fae land. The Queen insisted you call upon a maid should you need anything, and personally escorted you to your room. Once alone, you took the time to bathe. A warm indoor spring was not something you were used to. Waterfalls were the bathing pools of choice in the Fae kingdom, though the warm water was welcome after your long journey. Soon you were in a nightgown and fast asleep in a warm bed of furs.

The next morning a maid came to wake you, and you were dressed by several handmaidens. The gown you wore was simple. A soft grey, long and flowing, with the fabric bunched at your shoulders in a sleeveless style and a low-cut back to accommodate your wings. You were escorted to the dining room, and you took the time to memorize parts of the castle.

The table itself was shorter than you expected, with only three seats on the longer sides and the usual single seats on the ends, already occupied by the King and Queen. Prince Katsuki sat to his mother’s right, and you were led to sit on her left, directly across from him. For the first time, you got a good look at the boy. 

Unruly ash blonde hair framed his face, which was chiseled and defined. His deep red eyes seemed to burn and glow like embers, and you had to look away from the intensity of his gaze on you. Your eyes were drawn to the exposed skin of his arms and collarbones, the muscles rippling underneath. You’d be lying to say he wasn’t incredibly handsome.

Through breakfast the Queen asked about your kingdom and its customs, and personal questions on how you felt about this alliance. You gave simple answers, having been trained to respond to such questions. She then walked you through the day, explaining how you’d be spending a lot of time with Katsuki not only for today, but all the way up until the wedding, which was set to take place in six months. The Prince scoffed at the idea.

“Why the hell do I even need to marry her? Why can’t I go find someone I like? I’m sure she’d rather marry someone she likes.” The Queen let out a low growl that could only be from a Dragon, directed toward her son. Her voice boomed through the hall. “Hold your tongue, boy. This alliance is important to both our kingdoms. You’ll do well to remember that.” He went silent with a snarl. She then turned her attention to you with a soft smile, the harsh edge gone from her voice.

“My apologies, dear. He can be...difficult. I hope your union can teach him some humility as well as respect for others.” With a soft smile, you nod. “I understand, my Queen. I pray I am not a burden to the Prince.” She chuckles and shakes her head as if you’d said something extremely amusing. Breakfast was soon over and you were left to spend the day alone with Prince Katsuki.

It was a rather difficult day. The Prince refused to speak, only voicing any irritation or anger he had for something he’d noticed. You were mostly quiet, in fear of angering him and possibly spoiling the union. He didn’t address you at all, and most interaction was awkward, but that was to be expected. You didn’t know each other. The King and Queen left the kingdom on a trip that was to last up until the week of the wedding, leaving you alone in the castle with the prince.

The first few weeks were relatively the same, little conversation between you and the Prince, silent meals, him angrily grumbling about one thing or another. You began to wonder if this was how life was going to be with him. It’s been nearly four months now, and he only ever addressed you briefly when he commented on one thing or another, though he was less angry lately. Tonight you lay awake in bed, stressing over whether or not you’d end up ruining this alliance. 

Sleep refused to come, and you decided rolling around in bed would do you no good. Silently, you stepped out of your room and padded through the castle aimlessly. Eventually you ended up on a lone balcony at the face of the castle, far above the entrance and off to the side, jutting out from the cliffside. The chill of the night air made gooseflesh pebble your skin, but you welcomed it. It had been a while since you’d flown.

Wrapping your night robe tight around your body and stretching your wings, you stood on the railing and leaned back, falling into the open air and sailing into the night sky. You missed the wind rushing past your feathers, whipping through your hair. It was cold, but it made you feel free and light, away from the pressure of the marriage and alliance. Little did you know a pair of red eyes were watching you from a more hidden balcony.

____

You were absolutely beautiful to him. Katsuki watched as you floated on the air. Your dark feathers barely catch the warm light from the castle, giving them a slight glint as they ruffled and moved. He watched as you darted up into the clouds, pulling your wings in and spiraling up through the thick barriers, then falling back downward with your wings stretched out below you.

You were mesmerizing, and he hated how quickly he’d grown fond of you. At first he thought you were some stuck up princess, like the Elf Prince Shouto Todoroki. But he was proven wrong rather quickly. You were intelligent, your opinions sound and logical, the complete opposite of him. He was rash and emotional, and he knew it. He soon came to respect you, though he couldn’t figure out how to speak to you for the life of him. He was always more a man of action. Words were not his forte.

But as he watched you in the night sky, he couldn’t help but be drawn to you. He wanted to fly with you, to dance with you through the air. He wanted to touch you, your skin, your feathers, even your horns. He’d never seen a Fae before, only drawings from books. Though those images were put to shame next to you. Your grace seemed unmatched, even compared to his mother, who was just as rough around the edges as he was.

He’d be embarrassed to say he observed you more than he had intended to. The way you walked as if you were floating, how you held yourself around others. Your posture was regal, poised, and yet full of humility and compliance. You looked like you understood your place in this world, like you knew why you were supposed to marry a Dragon in an arranged marriage instead of being able to choose who you loved.

His thoughts drifted as he watched you, and he found himself wanting to fly with you more and more as time passed. Unlike you, he could sprout his wings whenever he wanted, and soon his large leathery wings were fully formed, ready to lift him from his perch. And that’s exactly what he did.

____

You were so distracted with the rushing wind you didn’t notice the figure approaching you until you felt the air whoosh behind you unnaturally. Swiftly, you turned, and found a pair of glowing red eyes focused on you. Both of you stayed there, flapping softly in the wind to keep steady. He was the first to break the silence.

“It’s a bit late for you to be flying, Princess.” His unusually soft tone of voice had heat rushing to your face. You sputtered out your response, partially from his words, partially from your nerves. “I, uh, I’m sorry, my Prince. I had no idea that…uhm… that I wasn’t allowed to fly this l-late.” A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest, clearly amused. ‘Cute’ he thought to himself. “I didn’t say that, Princess. Just that it was rather late for you to be awake.” More heat flooded your face at his teasing tone.

He tilts his head, indicating for you to follow him, and he flits away, landing on the balcony you’d leapt off of. You were close behind, and landed next to him as his wings vanished into his back. A large hand was extended toward you and you took it, a bit hesitant, as he’d never engaged this much contact before. His warm hand enveloped yours, and he pulled you alongside him through the castle.

You cleared your throat quietly to speak. “Apologies, my Prince, but where are we going?” A small smirk graced his lips as he turned to you. “It’s a surprise, Princess. But I promise you’ll like it.” You gave a small nod and allowed him to guide you through the halls of the castle. He led you deep into the mountain, down corridors you hadn’t explored before, and soon you were walking down uncarved tunnels lit only by torches every few feet.

After a few minutes in the tunnels, the torches came to an abrupt stop, and you began to feel uneasy with the looming darkness. As if sensing your hesitation, the Prince turned and squeezed your hand in his. “Don’t worry, I promise I’m not dragging you to the dungeon.” His voice was playful, something you’d never heard from him before. Despite the mild discomfort of the underground depths, you trusted him and let him pull you into the darkness.

Once your eyes had adjusted, a faint glow came from somewhere further inward. He kept walking, further and further down the tunnel, and the glow consistently strengthened until you were sure you’d find the source behind each turn you took. Then he stopped, and turned to look at you over his shoulder. “You ready, Princess?” You nodded almost excitedly, and he pulled you with him around the corner. The sight before you stole the breath from your lungs.

The source of the cool glow was a gigantic cavern, the walls and ground littered with white, green, blue, and purple crystals, all glowing in the darkness, illuminating the space. The high ceiling was dotted with them as well, almost mimicking the night sky. In the center was a deep pool that reflected the light, the crystalline water perfectly still and undisturbed. Your wings ruffled as you took in the sight before you, the reaction involuntary.

In your wonder, you failed to notice the Prince had disappeared from your side. He called out to you once he had sunk into the water, and your eyes snapped over to him, heat rushing to your face in the realisation that he was naked. He seemed to sense your shyness, and let out a chuckle. “Come on, Princess. Won’t you join me?” Slowly, you made your way over to the pool, eyes focused on the steam rising from the water, and away from the very naked Prince.

You sank down to your knees a few feet from him, your wings wrapping around you slightly. From the corner of your eye you could see his head tilt at you, and you were sure he was smirking at your flustered state. With an amused hum, he turned his body away from you, giving you privacy to undress and dip into the water. Once you were in, you settled onto the ledge and hugged your knees close to your chest, your wings hiding most of your body. 

“Y-you can t-turn back around now, my Prince.” He shifted back to his original position, leaning against the edge of the natural pool and resting his arms up on the ledge, relaxing into the hot water. You were still a bit tense, not having been naked around a man before. His deep voice was playful as he spoke. “Relax, Princess. We’re to be married. I’ll see you eventually.” You could hear the teasing undertone and you hugged your knees in closer.

His eyes were now fixed on you. With a small sigh, he moved, and you squeaked as his arms wrapped under your wings and around your waist. He lifted you with ease, and positioned you to be straddled on his lap, face inches from his, strong arms holding you close. His eyes were glued to yours, and you couldn’t hold his gaze. It wasn’t the same intensity as the first time you’d looked at them. This time was a bit different, the burning in his eyes was not from anger.

A hand came up and cupped your cheek, shocking you from the gentle touch. His voice was just as gentle, soft as his eyes trailed over your features. “You’re beautiful, Princess.” Your wings puffed up slightly at his words, and his eyes snapped to them at the movement. “Can I touch them?” The question shocked you a bit, but you nodded, not trusting your voice. 

The hand that was on your face reached out and pet your feathers, gliding down your wing gently. Nobody had really touched your wings other than you, and it was only to clean them. This was a new sensation, and your wings shook lightly as your shoulders tensed a bit. Katsuki’s ministrations froze, and his voice turned slightly serious. “What is it? Did I hurt you?” 

You blinked at him before shaking your head. “No, no of course not. It’s just...nobody has ever touched my wings before…” He seemed to relax at that. Still, his hand pulled away from your wing in favor of holding your waist. He held you closer, and your breath hitched slightly at the close proximity, your noses inches apart. His breath was warm on your face. “You have no idea how bad I’ve wanted to hold you close like this, Princess.”

Your eyes widened at his words and he laughed a bit. “I’ll admit, Princess, you’d captured my attention rather quickly. I never quite knew how to talk to you. But I am impatient, and couldn’t wait to hold you.” You were giddy from his confession, and you leaned forward, burying your face into his neck and pressing your body into his. 

Up until now, your focus had been on the marriage and the alliance and making sure it went well. But now, knowing it would work out, you allowed your feelings to come into play. From the beginning you’d been taken with the handsome Prince. Within the first month you were no doubt falling for him. His attitude and personality was rather brash, but he was never aggressive toward you. Sure, he didn’t speak to you, but his actions spoke much louder.

He was a gentleman more often than not, holding doors open, escorting you to and from meals, even occasionally gifting you gowns and jewelry. You’d kept your emotions in check, though you knew by now you’d fallen head over heels for the man. Now, his arms tightened around you and you breathed in each other’s scents. His fingers massaged the skin in between your wings, and your body shuddered. It felt...good. Really, really good. You mewled into his shoulder, enjoying the new sensation.

You could feel him smirk into your neck as his fingers dug into the fluffy feathers at the base of your wings. With a gasp, your wings extended out behind you and fluffed up, all the feathers ruffling as you pressed your body tighter to his. A warmth began to build in your abdomen and between your legs, and you squirmed a bit, unsure what the feeling was.

His hands released your feathers and gripped your hips with a low hiss. “Quit your squirming, Princess. I don’t think I can control myself right now.” His voice was deep, and slightly strained. You lifted your head to look in his eyes, and his pupils were dilating, red irises now small rings. “What do you mean, my Prince?” His eyebrows raised slightly before his lips curled into a smirk. He brought your hips down, grinding you down onto him. 

That was when you felt it, his hardness rubbing against your thigh. A small gasp escaped your lips and heat bloomed from your chest up to your cheeks. He watched as your pupils matched his, irises disappearing into blackness. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips onto yours in a passionate kiss. When he finally let go you were both panting, and he leaned his forehead against yours. “Angel. My Angel.”

His eyes burned into your own as he spoke, his voice almost pleading. “Let me take care of you tonight.” You barely managed to nod before his lips were on yours again, this time hungry and wild. His tongue prodded at your lips and you let them part, let him explore your cavern in a mess of tongue and teeth. Without breaking the kiss his hands grabbed your thighs and began to lift, and your arms wrapped tight around his neck as he lifted you both from the warm water and walked.

You had no idea where he was taking you until he leaned and placed you down on soft pelts. Surprised, you pulled away to look around. The bed was situated behind a mass of towering crystals, hidden from the entrance. The blue glow illuminated the blonde’s face as he hovered above you, highlighting his features. You took a moment to admire just how beautiful he is, before his lips were on yours again.

His hands wandered freely now, groping the flesh at your hips and thighs, fingers massaging the soft skin there as his lips trailed down your neck and along your collarbones and shoulders. A thick finger found its way to your dripping core, and you let out a gasp at the feeling. You’d never laid with a man before, however you had to learn how to please one through books. You wondered briefly if the Prince had any real experience, before your mind was brought back to the moment as his finger pushed into you.

It wasn’t painful, and the mewl you let out let the blonde know you enjoyed it. His tongue attacked your pert nipples as distraction as he pressed another thick digit at your entrance, pushing it into your tight walls. A hiss escaped you from the slight burn, the stretch something you weren’t used to. Nothing had ever been inside you like this, the feelings foreign but pleasurable all the same.

His fingers maneuvered inside you, scissoring and curling and pumping until you were a panting moaning mess beneath him. His thumb dipped down into your wetness before reaching up to rub at the little bundle of nerves, making you flinch with the sudden jolt of pleasure, your wet walls clamping down on his fingers. A tightness built quickly in your abdomen the longer he kept his ministrations, and he leaned up to whisper in your ear. 

“I can feel you gripping me. Cum for me, sweet girl.” His mouth attached to your neck and sucked, adamant to leave a mark. It only took a few more moments for you to fall apart around the man’s fingers, legs and wings trembling, moans echoing through the cave. When you had come down from that high, he pulled his fingers from you and licked them clean, a deep groan pouring from his lips. 

Wrapping your legs around his waist, he lines himself up with your core, grasping your hip in one hand. “Are you ready for me, Angel?” Grabbing at the furs underneath you, you nod. “I’m ready, my Prince.” Slowly, he pushes himself into you, panting and growling, jaw clenched hard. The stretch burns, but only slightly, and soon you’re moaning and mewling beneath him. Finally fully seated inside you, his head drops to your shoulder and his arms wrap around you, holding you tight against him.

His breath is hot, blooming over your shoulder and neck, lips and tongue attacking the skin there. He holds his hips still, flush against yours, giving you time to adjust to him. When your walls relax around him, he begins to pump into you, shallow thrusts grinding himself into your walls. As he moves, his hands crawl up your back, fingers tangling into the base of your wings and massaging gently, making you moan out and wrap your arms around his neck.

He keeps his pace steady, but you can hear the strain in his breathing and feel his jaw clenched tightly. He’s holding back, and you don’t want him to. “Please, don’t hold back. I want all of you, Katsuki.” His movements stilled, you never used his name before. Pulling back, he peered down into your eyes as your hands held his face.

“You can have all of me, Angel, if you’ll be mine.” You leaned up and kissed him sweetly, “I’m already yours, my King.” A deep growl rumbled in his chest at your words, “Then you will have all of me.” He pulled his hips back and snapped back into you, setting a quick pace. Your breath came in pants and moans, the pleasure wracking through your body stealing the air from your lungs. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the cave, along with moans and growls and the smell of sex.

His arms held you tighter, fingers continuously digging into your feathers, lips latching onto your neck between heavy breaths. “Mine. My Angel, mine, mine. I love you my Angel.” You moaned out, your voice soft in his ear. “I love you my King. I’m yours, all yours forever.” His pace became erratic, and a hand came between your bodies to rub at the little nub between your folds. Only a few tight circles around it had you cumming and clamping down hard around his length, and he thrust into you hard. 

A few more thrusts and he stilled himself, letting out a deep guttural moan as he spilled his seed inside you, holding your body tight to his. He rolled over, laying you on top of him without removing his length from you. Your wings stretched out behind you, falling limp at your sides once they were relaxed. Katsuki peppered kissed along your hairline, whispering sweet nothings as your breaths calmed.

After a long, comfortable silence, he spoke. “Are you alright, Angel?” You smiled and kissed at his chest. “Never better, my King.” He hummed, the sound vibrating through your body. “We should get back to the main castle. The maids will panic if we’re missing.” You giggled at the thought of the maids running around like headless chickens searching for the two of you. With a nod, you sat up, and he lifted you off of him.

You swung your legs over the side of the bed and pushed up, but your legs were weak and gave way to your weight. Katsuki caught you easily, and scooped you up like you weighed nothing. After bathing in the pool once more, you both dressed and he carried you with him to his chambers, and you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The next couple months you spent nearly all your time together. You sit side by side during meals, talk regularly, and spend free time alone on a balcony or in the crystal cave. As you spend time with him, you notice things about him you never would have guessed before. He’s extremely perceptive, smarter than his angry demeanor would lead most to believe. He hates lying, hates secrets and deceit, which showed through when he explained why he was so against the arranged marriage at first. 

The news was sprung on him only hours before you arrived, and he was angry that his parents had kept it secret from him. You noticed he was rather protective and liked skin contact, holding you tight to his body whenever he got the chance. He was thoughtful, his gifts were never useless, always something he was sure you would use and appreciate. Your favorite was the many custom jewels he had crafted for your horns. Some a delicate array of dainty silver chains and gems that glittered and swayed as you walked. Others golden wire, mimicking vines and leaves that twisted around and hugged your horns.

That was when you noticed his infatuation with your horns. He’d touch them often when your head was on his lap, tracing the intricate texture with his fingertips. He didn’t find them grotesque or intimidating like most others did, instead he found them beautiful and magical. He never tried to cover them, always adorning them with sparkling gems and glittering metal to accentuate the deep ebony.

He was curious, constantly asking questions about you, your home, and your customs. You grew to love the man more and more with every passing day, and as the wedding came and went you had no reserved feelings about the union. You loved Katsuki, the Dragon Prince, and he loved you, the Fae Princess. He was your King, and you were his Angel, and neither of you would have it any other way.

[doped-on-galaxies]

I'll never understand how Advanceshippers swear by how their ship is superior to Contestshipping.

Not even throwing shade, (okay maybe a little) but seriously! I get that Drew was a dick in the beginning, but let's face it he was never the bad guy or the ladies man that people made him out to be.

Being loved by women and being a ladies man are two different things. Let's get that straight. He enjoyed his status as a coordinator because he was the shit and he knew it. It wasn't because it got him closer to women. He enjoyed watching his Pokemon shine, and of course- like anyone in his position, he enjoyed being the center of the spotlight as well. Just like Dawn, Harley, May, Solidad, Serena, hell even Ash. It was in his blood to become a coordinator, so guess what?? He did it and was damn good at it. Anyone in his position would have fans. Not to mention Drew obviously showed he was uncomfortable being surrounded by mobs of female fans. It was different if someone came up to him respectfully, but I dont see him thoroughly enjoying having other people obsessively getting in his personal space. Drew is a loner. He doesn't make friends with just anyone.

Next! The thought of him being a bad person for May. Drew is a WONDERFUL person for May. This is non-negotiable. Don't @ me.

Let's start from That's Flower Power.

Yes Drew was very harsh at the beginning, (key word: BEGINNING) and he was snarky and could've been a lil bit nicer, but he wasn't a bad person. He saw May needed help on something, and then immediately took action (attacking Team Rockert and getting their Bluk berries back.) The only reason he was hard on her was because he sees this beginner with potential who doesn't have the exact hang of it yet, so he strives to push her harder. I believe he was snarky to the gang as well due to him noticing her friends are enabling her to accept minor effort. Kinda like how a mom would treat a baby for taking their first bite. Congratulations! You'll get there! That's the thing though, May wasn't a baby. She was a young teen, (I say teen because YES they are 10, but let's face it.. nobody in anime acts their age. They act a little bit older. Hence there is no way in hell 10 year olds would go off with 15 year olds on their own to travel the world) and she needed to be pushed to her limit just enough to see the bigger picture. She didn't know that, the gang didn't know that, hell WE growing up didn't really realize that, but Drew did. It's the truth. The gang enabled her to stay at her mediocre pace. They didn't do anything wrong for that, but they didn't help her reach her potential any bit faster. Drew did though. Each time she surprised him, he got sweeter and gave her a little bit more praise everytime. Yes, he remained harsh, but she still had a lot to learn. Might I add, nobody could push her the way Drew did. There are so many scenes where it shows how much Drew subconsciously pushed her to want to be better. A matter of fact- in The Unbeatable Lightness of Seeing Max tries to get Ash and May to battle and GUESS WHAT?!?!? May responds, "NO WAY!"

Now this could mostly be from their battle styles being similar, but despite that she openly admits the loss to Solidad was bothering her much more at the time. She WANTED to be better and find her own battling style, but she couldn't yet due to the fact she was depressed from her loss and it was holding her back. All it takes is her and Drew having a 5 second stare-down into each other's eyes for her to get off her ass for the first time in like 5 episodes. That's it. That is all it took. Not to mention even though she lost to him it gave her closure. She admittedly said it herself that she thought she caught up, but he pulled away again. All Drew said was, "Well you gotta keep moving, I guess" and that was the absolute truth. That's all her wanted her to do, was to keep moving no matter what. Keep being. That's another reason I believed she went to Johto. She didn't need Ash and Brock anymore. She needed herself and the things that made her lil coordinator soul light up. She needed change, and she needed Drew. Everyone can say "Oh all Harley and Solidad went too" yeah no shit, and I bet if she found out only Harley was going to the Johto region she would've been like, "LMFAO LET ME GO TO SINNOH" but because of Drew going she decided she wanted to continue following him, because he was her rival.

OKAY NOW TO THE FUN PART!!!

WHEN

HAS

MAY

EVER

BLUSHED

TOWARDS

Ash

LITERALLY NOT EVEN ONCE LMFAO.

Not even in that stereotypical filler episode that almost EVERY Pokegirl gets where some random ass character that nobody ever sees again accuses Ash and the main female character of having feelings with each other. EVEN LANA HAD MORE HINTS OF HAVING FEELINGS FOR ASH, hell at least she blushed 🤷🏼‍♀️ There were seriously never any hints between them two, they were more like siblings. They were so alike it was unreal and that's why May no longer wanted to travel with Ash because it didn't benefit her in the end, which is why she went to follow Drew instead!

Might I add if someone says "weLL iT wAs jUsT a KiDs sHoW tHeY cOuLdNt dO mUcH" just stfu because Serena literally kissed Ash. They got away with so much shit when Pokemon was owned by ForKids that they seriously could have put a kissing scene in there if they wanted to. They could have added *hints* towards Ash and May if they WANTED to, but they chose to show hints towards May and Drew instead since they were the closest thing to canon on the series other than Amourshipping and Pokeshipping. HELL EVEN PEARLSHIPPING HAD MORE HINTS THAN ADVANCESHIPPING but it is an easy comparison when one has things to back them up and the other doesn't have anything to back them up 🤷🏼‍♀️ but we already knew that!!!

[freddiekluger]

please drop the essay length analysis Judas and Jesus (extra gay Swedish edition), O great and knowledgeable monarch of our times

alright, you ask i deliver! please excuse any typos, my eyes aren't exactly working rn

welcome to my probably super subjective but correct analysis, aka

Judas Was Right and Jesus Was A Victim (At Least, In Swedish)

Before we get started, a couple points: i’ll try to avoid comparisons to other specific productions, i’ve only seen the other recorded 2012 british version which i didn’t like for reasons including but not limited to the amount of white people with dreadlocks. Also, my understanding of swedish is limited to a couple words and phrases, so most of the lyrics i reference will be english subtitles from Ola Salo’s swedish translation and therefore might not be the most accurate !

There’s so much i could cover in this, but for now i’m going to focus on how jesus and judas are portrayed in the 2014 swedish arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar (JCS) starring Ola Salo as Jesus and Peter Johansson as Judas, along with how this production more implicitly views god. 

From the opening number, translated into swedish as En Dimmig Himmelsdröm (A Foggy Heaven’s Dream), Peter Johansson’s acting and semantic differences in the lyrics present us with a deeply sympathetic portrayal of Judas. Looking purely at language, the english equivalent Heaven On Their Minds instantly paints Judas as much more of a faithless doubter- lyrics exclusive to the english version like “all your followers have gone blind / too much heaven on their minds” and “they think you’re the new messiah / and they’ll hurt you when they find they’re wrong” strongly enforce Judas’ main motivation for his actions being that he has less belief in Jesus and God’s plan than any of the other disciples with strong statements judging the other disciples for following him and claiming that Jesus ISN’T the messiah. The swedish translation doesn’t paint exactly the same picture- the focus of Judas’ number becomes his fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, not because he isn’t the messiah (the production remains fairly ambiguous on this point), but because Jesus can’t cope. The root of Judas’ concern comes from fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, and the disciples are referenced as regularly misunderstanding and wilfully twisting Jesus’ words. The swedish equivalent lyrics for the above examples are “they say, “jesus is god’s son” / but you know how people can change” (judas isn’t concerned with truth, just the danger that jesus will be in if the tide turns), and “the kingdom of heaven is within us, that’s what you said / bu they sew it, stitch by stich into some kind of foggy heaven’s dream”. Judas is showing that he HAS been listening and cares for Jesus’ teachings, but ‘they’ [his disciples] are turning them into something else entirely, and Judas’ worries that the support of the masses is fragile at best- the lines “and everything you say gets twisted by your lackeys / it will be anything but what you’ve said”  and “you are being used by people who want you in their battle” reinforces this again. When combined with Peter Johansson’s tough but tender performance, in which he dances between disdain for Jesus, the institution, and affection for Jesus, the man (an important distinction), Judas is the harsh realist doing his best to look out for the man he loves. The way he takes Jesus hands and looks at him with love and urgency straight away establishes that his motivations are pure- Judas is doing what he thinks is best, even though it feels like no one will listen to him. 

That was long, but En Dimmig Himmelsdröm is the perfect character introduction for Judas. He’s not totally unrecognisable, still delivering digs about ‘Jesus, the little carpenter’s son’, his manner is still rough and at this point we’re not sure whether or not the claims he makes about the disciples have any truth to them, BUT we can also see how much Jesus means to him, an important point that give context to the intensity of their future arguments and really makes the whole story much more heartbreaking.

This brings me to Ola Salo’s Jesus. Delightfully camp and queercoded, Judas describes him as being caught up in his own magic and mystery and buckling under the pressure, and he’s not entirely wrong. Throughout the first act, Jesus basks in the luxuries that being messiah can give him (the oils Mary paid for using disciple funds that were supposed to go towards helping the poor, him absolutely thriving in the shopping cart in What’s the Buzz?), and is shown actively avoiding any reminders of the seriousness of his position. He’s sick of the disciples asking him for a plan, he chooses the comforting Mary, who’s theme consists of telling Jesus everything is okay and he doesn’t need to think about anything, over Judas, who is less perhaps ‘cosy’ but is actively trying to warn and protect Jesus from an awful fate. During The Temple, he starts to crack as he’s overcome by the followers begging him to make him well, fear in his eyes as he raises his arms while frozen on the spot trying to avoid being devoured by the frenzy in desperate need of a messiah. Judas’ point about Jesus buckling under the pressure is starting to look more and more reasonable, and the dashes of showbiz campness add to the sense that much of Jesus is a persona constructed for the masses to give himself enough distance to prevent him from being crushed by the weight of God entirely. Jesus, the institution, prances around, lays his hands on his followers, and projects an air of easygoing calm. Jesus, the man, is scared and alone, and Jesus, the man, really comes out in Last Supper, but before we get there, I want to circle back to the Jesus/Mary/Judas thing.

Jesus, Mary, and Judas are presented as a love triangle: so much so, that Judas seeing Mary sing of her love for Jesus (I Don’t Know How To Love Him) is actually played as the inciting incident that sends him to the pharisees. Judas, the picture of the jealous lover, storms onto the scene, breaking them up and attempting to kiss Jesus, who instead shoves him to the ground in disdain. Judas, who is perhaps a little controlling, realises that any influence he had over Jesus has gone, and it’s likely a combination of jealousy and the knowledge that Jesus won’t stop that prompts him to head to the pharisees. In his meeting with the pharisees (known in english as Damned For All Time, although that phrase doesn’t appear once in the swedish), Judas’ expresses outright that “I’m the one who sees / Jesus, he can’t handle it anymore” “the truth is that this hysteria is making him lose control”, once he can get past explaining how much this plan of action feels like a last resort. He never even verbally or physically accept the pharisees’ offer of money, he denies it twice before it is eventually thrown over him after he reluctantly gives them the date and time to find Jesus- we never even see him pick it up, unlike other productions which show Judas grabbing for the cash and place a higher emphasis on Judas making sure he ‘won’t be damned for all time’, painting Judas as far more self serving. When it comes to Jesus, Judas is active- he’s running around trying to help, caressing him, embracing him, grabbing his hand, kissing him. They share countless moment of intimacy, especially at the start, establishing the fondness between them instead of instantly jumping to their conflict. When it comes to Mary (and admittedly, this is partially because she’s a secondary character- don’t get me wrong I still love her and Gunilla Backman does a brilliant job), she’s much more passive. Other than the much more gentle kisses in I Don’t Know How To Love Him and her penchant for dabbing Jesus’ forehead, she’s mostly just ‘there’. She cares for Jesus after the fact, and even when performing acts of intimacy like the oil and the kiss, she maintains a lot of physical distance- her songs touch on this as, much like Jesus (admittedly for different reasons), she actively distances herself from feelings to protect herself, so naturally she literally places distance between herself and the object of her love.

This brings me back to Last Supper, Gethsemane ( I Only Want to Say), and the kiss of death that broke all of our hearts. Throughout this segment, this is when Jesus, the man, really comes through, and it’s devastating. In Last Supper, he properly expresses the sheer amount of loneliness he feels, reiterating how he feels everyone will forget about him once he’s gone, and doesn’t really care about him as a man (”for you, my blood is not worth more than wine / for you, my body is not worth more than bread” “you will have forgotten me as soon as i give up my life”). This devolves into the disciples fighting each other and, you guessed it, ignoring him. For the first time, Jesus meaningfully lets out his anger, and as it turns to Judas, Judas does the same. Because of the set up of their complicated romantic relationship and the stakes involved, the amount of personal attacks and anger that comes out of Jesus and Judas’ repeated fights (which get physical) make complete sense- Jesus’ frustrations come from the fact that his entire fate has been predetermined and to him, Judas is just another instrument in the ways he’s been controlled (both with Judas being his betrayer, but also the way that Judas’ constant advice and interference with Jesus’ life (most obviously, the mary thing) are acted by Ola Salo as becoming increasingly frustrating to Jesus)- these frustrations are directed at their real cause, God, in Gethsemane. Judas’ frustrations come from the fact that no matter how hard he tries to help Jesus and keep him safe, Jesus keeps rejecting his efforts resulting in “all that we’ve built up [being] destroyed”- Judas’ heart hasn’t just been broken by Jesus rejecting him romantically, but on every level. Here, he’s actually shown to be the disciple most passionate about helping people practically and long term, being the only one concerned about Mary taking money which was supposed to help people, manipulated by the pharisees with the promise of doing good for the masses, and criticising Jesus for how they could be doing so much for people, ending his part of Last Supper with “every time i look at you i ask myself why you let all your things go so wrong? / all i ever wanted was to help you”. 

This is also the point where Judas’ claims about the disciples are essentially confirmed, and this productions intent to portray Judas as more of a tragic hero become absolutely clear. In the english version, the disciples chorus remains virtually the same each time it appears, generally being far too calm considering their leader is about to die, revealing their aspirations to be apostles, and their intent to write the gospels to be remembered. the swedish translation still achieve this, but with variations from chorus to chorus it becomes much more poignant. i’m just going to stick to ttwo, which are choruses 1 and 3. In chorus 1, lines roughly translate to “i’ve always wanted to be an apostle / life is so nice when you’re saved/ then when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / then everything will be the way we want”-  the apostles declaring that life is so good when you’re saved supports Judas’ opening statement that they care more about some idea of heaven than anything else, not to mention ignoring the absolute horrors that Jesus will have to go through to be saved, while the final line about the gospels introduces their intent to change whichever details they need to make ‘everything the way we want’: once again, exactly what Judas warned us of in En Dimmig Himmelsdröm. In chorus 3, taking place after Judas storms out for the last time, these lines change to “never really liked that judas / never saw what jesus saw in him / then, when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / and we’ll angle it so he gets all the blame”. Judas as a sympathetic character is confirmed here, as the disciples straight up admit how they don’t like Judas anyways and intend to write him as a villain (also inadvertently admitting that, since they have to write the gospels to make it look like only Judas’ fault, Judas isn’t really the sole one responsible for everything that is to come). It’s deeply unsettling, and for me was the point where I really began to question how good any of these disciples were, and by extension, how good is this production’s God if his truly sanctified followers are acting like this?

Jesus vents out all of his anger and desperation in Gethsemane. He acknowledges his own powerlessness and begs him to change the plan, but with the dark stage and no response (along with Ola Salo’s spectacular acting) it becomes clear that if anyone is there, they’re certainly not listening (”you, who have all the power / can you please change the plan / for i can already feel the pain burning in me”). It’s worth mentioning that a lot of the imagery in this swedish version is much more intense than the english, both in this song and the production as a whole. Jesus plainly calls god “thoughtless”, begging to understand, and it’s that this point we realise that he agrees with much more of what Judas has been saying than he’s been letting on- Jesus’ faith appears to be the only thing keeping him from listening to Judas and running away. Judas’ messages about people misunderstanding Jesus’ words also come out (”you care that everyone sees / but not that anyone understands”), and his eventual agreeing to die is played less as an inspiring act of faith, and more an act of desperation as he realises, he realise has no other choice. In this song, we see just how much of Judas Jesus has valued and taken on board, and that his air of carefree aloofness which frustrated Judas was, as we’ve already touched on, a complete act. The line “might as well finish what i’ve... what YOU’VE started” is absolutely miserable, reinforcing one of the major themes of this production: the idea that Jesus and Judas were both just ordinary men tormented by futures defined by forces out of their control. Just as Jesus has absorbed Judas’ logic, as an audience so we have, and it’s difficult to view the rest of the play’s events as anything other than an immense and unnecessary act of cruelty.

we’re almost done i promise!

Even knowing what Judas has/will do, Jesus still greets him with love. Judas, still under the impression that Jesus will be okay and that he’s doing what’s best, approaches him with the utmost tenderness, and the kiss is a beautiful signifier of two things. For Jesus, the return of his love for Judas shows his realisation in Gethsemane that Judas isn’t the one who’s sealed his fate and has only being trying to help, it’s god himself who has decided Jesus’ future. For Judas, the kiss shows that despite all of the anger and frustration that has been pouring out of him, he truly does love Jesus, and the way he cradles the scared and alone Jesus to his chest afterwards shows just how much he wishes he could be the one to help him and keep him close. Even with all their arguments and dysfunction, here Jesus and Judas find comfort in each other, and it almost seems like everything will end up alright. It’s in this moment that Judas and Jesus are most identifiable not as enemies, or as villain and hero, but as archetypal lovers from a Shakespearean tragedy. Neither of them set out to hurt each other, but through miscommunications, their own flaws, and external forces (both natural and supernatural), their love is simply never to be. Furthermore, in the following torture and spectacle, everything that Judas predicted for Jesus is about to come true. Another detail I find interesting is the way that Jesus and Judas both sport black nail polish, leather pants, and similar length hair: along with just looking cool as hell, the similarities really reinforce how close they are and how much they influence each other- it feels like a contemporary version of carrying a cameo or a lock of your lover's hair with you, a way for 'star crossed lovers' to keep a piece of their beloved no matter what.

The disaffected persona of Jesus, the institution, comes back as he’s taken by the authorities and subsequently insulted, degraded, and whipped. Also the swedish version of The Arrest, when the chorus starts singing questions, contains this dick joke and I think we all deserve it: “why were you dating a whore? / talk about a huge magic wand!”

Skipping forward to Judas’ Death, this is where both his character and the production’s conception of god beautifully (and miserably) align. When Judas runs to the pharisees, minor semantic changes (along with the genuine concern and great acting from Peter Johansson) reinforce that this Judas genuinely didn’t know that Jesus would be beaten and sentenced to death the way he has been, and Judas’ concern regarding how things look is played less as ‘oh no people will hate ME!’, but how having sentenced the man you love to death is one nightmarish thing, but for everyone to think you did it knowingly and willingly and then congratulate you for it is unthinkable. Where the english shows Judas’ attempting to evade responsibility for Jesus death, the swedish is more focused on Judas’ guilt, horror, and regret. The english “I’d save him all the suffering if I could / don’t believe our good / save him if I could” is swapped in swedish for “If anyone should die here I should / don’t say I’m good / better if I died”. While the english statements are somewhat empty (sure, Judas says he’d save Jesus’ suffering if he could, but he can’t so we’ll never truly know) and are still focused on Judas’ attempt to construct himself as a good guy, the swedish translation has Judas admit his guilt (even if it’s not really his fault), and make the promise of “better if i died” which, given the name of this sequence, he later delivers on. When english Judas sings “Christ, I’d sell out the nation / For I have been saddled with the murder of you”, swedish Judas sings “Jesus, I’ve been deceived / because of my act your blood’s now being spilt”, and instead of ending this first section with “I should be dragged through the slime and the mud”, swedish jesus returns to the theme of character assasination with “i will be cursed as the one behind your murder”. 

The swedish translation of the next rework of I Don’t Know How to Love Him also places much more emphasis on Judas’ genuine romantic love for Jesus- we’d be here for hours if i listed everything but here are a few key contrasts. The english has Judas sing “I don’t know how to love him /  I don’t know why he moves me”, whereas the swedish has Judas crying while singing “how do I show my love / all I want is to be close to you”. Along with acknowledging Judas already loves Jesus, the entirety of this segment is shifted from Judas singing about Jesus in the third person ‘he’, to a direct address. Judas isn’t performing his sadness, or venting his emotions, he’s emitting one last desperate cry to the man he loves as he sobs on a stage completely shrouded in darkness, and it’s devastating. Peter Johansson lets his voice run raw as he’s belting, and interrupts lines with sobs, and this Judas answers the question of “do you love me too? do you care for me?” with a quiet “no”- Judas is about to go to his death convinced Jesus must hate him, just as Jesus will face his knowing his love inadvertently put him there.

We finally reach Judas’ actual death, and the production’s far more ambiguous (if not negatively geared) depiction of god comes to a head. Judas’ screaming at god the moment he realises that his god essentially forced Judas to be the one to kill Jesus (an act of ultimate cruelty given their love) comes across as horrifying in it’s validity, unlike in other english language productions where it follows the more common characterisation of Judas being an unbeliever who can’t take responsibility for his own actions. When he spits on the ground, screaming “you have murdered me!”, we can’t help but agree- Judas was trying everything he could to stop Jesus from dying, and yet here he is. Most notably, Judas doesn’t set up his own suicide- a noose literally descends from the heavens, already tied, and Judas is literally trapped between the edge of the stage, and the symbol of death behind him. Much like he didn’t choose to kill Jesus, Judas has no choice in his own suicide- it’s suggested to merely be another part of the plan god has for him, and Judas raising his arms to form a crucifixion pose before he finally turns and jumps, disappearing into the depths of the theatre as the rope trails down (somewhat evocative of a leap to hell), highlight the sick joke. Much like Jesus begging in Gethsemane, a plea with god that in anyway implies fault or cruelty is met with silence followed by a death sentence. 

When Judas reappears to the broken and bloodied Jesus in Superstar, he appears as more of a twisted hallucination than the literal spirit of Judas. He’s the opposite of everything he was in life, draped in colour, surrounded by red lighting instead of the signature blue, his hair quite literally let down, joking and dancing. Despite singing about him, Judas virtually ignores Jesus for the whole song except when he’s taunting him, snatching his hand away after a broken and desperate Jesus reaches out for the image of his beloved (refuting Judas’ belief that Jesus would die hating him), along with the swedish additions of Judas repeatedly addressing him as “little Jesus”. Where the living Judas was serious, sometimes harsh but always well intention, often paying more attention to Jesus than he received, this Judas is the opposite: light hearted but cruel, not caring about Jesus one bit. It’s somewhat an inversion of the beginning of JCS, where the tormented Judas was constantly reaching out to Jesus, and often met with scorn and insult (see: most of their arguments, this line from Everything’s Alright: “the thought is beautiful but quite unrealistic / yes, even quite stupid”). As the song goes on, and even as Jesus is crucified, the victorious scoring of the Superstar theme ends up reinforcing the cruelty and questioning of god distinctive of this production: Ola Salo’s Jesus is one of the bloodiest Jesus’s (Jesii?) I’ve been able to find, with blood covering his torso, his arms, and all over his face, not in passive dribbles, but violent ‘swooshes’ spreading out from his eyes, emphasising the fear and pain contained within them. As the music suggests how great and wonderful Jesus’ death is, the images straight out of a horror movie before us don’t seem to match up: as both Judas and Jesus question, if no one is understanding what Jesus is saying, why kill him? instead of making a point, you’re ensuring that the falsehoods continue to circulate, unless spreading the true message isn’t really the intent at all. or, simply that Jesus was wrong: his interpretation and teachings of god were far too kind and practical, and the true god really is the one that he briefly saw in the garden of Gethsemane, and that Judas saw before his death- a cruel and vindictive god using them for his own sick purposes. If you're a strong Christian, I'm sure you could watch this production and still believe that God was right (although I think Jesus and Judas being in love counts as blasphemy), but I think in doing so you'd lose part of what makes this production so hard hitting and, as i keep saying, devastating.

that’s pretty much it for this one! i feel like jesus and judas as a queer couple is less significant to this production than the fact that it’s specifically jesus and judas that are in love - they don’t face explicit homophobia as such, although i do think the paratextual and historical associations of queerness (both with them each looking visibly queer, and them as a couple) adds a beautiful dimension by subverting the standard christian teaching of Jesus’ sacrifice as “a love that changed the world” and making the love that truly could have been transformative (and was, to a degree) the love between Jesus and another man, not to mention the way in which queerness is often viewed as radical perfectly upholding the ‘radical’ views of god and the story of Jesus shown in the production. Why wouldn’t the love between two men be the love which has us questioning god, faith, and that which many of us have been taught since birth? Ola Salo has talked about how he’s able to be positive and negative towards christianity, along with how he wanted Jesus and Judas to really represent two sides of the same coin (’faith and intelligence’), and being bisexual along with having alluded to being raised christian (not to mention Breaking Up With God, a song by his band The Ark), it’s not surprising he’s managed to present such a nuanced and layered interpretation of Jesus Christ Superstar that even me, a trans exvangelical, can fall in love with.

UPDATE: @bands-and-hobbits has just let me know that Ola's dad was a priest! Apparently he's said that he liked the organs and the music, but that was all when it comes to christianity, which (when combined with Ola stating in interviews that the JCS soundtrack has been one of his favourite albums since he was 14) makes a lot of sense about the level of familiarity he had with the text giving him confidence to go in and make changes to really capitalised off of some of the themes that are hinted at in the english version- you have enough information to understand how everything works together, but aren't so dedicated to preserving belief that you feel you can't improve/change things (and my god are we glad he did)

[nexyra]

What is your take on rwby chara's mbti types? I think

Weiss - xSTJ, thought that she was ESTJ at first but ISTJ makes a lot of sense too.

Winter - ESTJ

Pyrrha - ESFJ

Emerald - ISFJ (I've seen some ppl type her as INFJ but I don't see how she is a Ni dom?)

Whitley - ENTJ? I'm honestly not sure abt that..

Adam - fucked up xNFJ, probably INFJ (seen him typed as xNTJ but his delusional thinking process imo screams unhealthy Ti and I think his manipulation of Blake and the WF is more Fe than Te

Qrow - was thinking ISTP but with the more recent volumes I'm really not sure..

Penny - ENFP

Ozpin - Uuuuuh INTP maybe?? But I've seen some people type him as INFJ. INFJ 5w6 would make sense as to why he might appear as an INTP but idk..

Bartholomew- ENTP

Jaune - no fucking idea honestly

Ironwood - ENTJ

Sun - Seen ppl type him as ENFP but I don't see any Ne at all..,,ESFP?

Yang - ESxP, maybe ESTP

Cinder - INTJ

Mercury - ISTP

Oscar - ISFJ

Ren - ISTx?

Hello anon ! I see my love for typology hasn't gone unnoticed 😂 Thank you so much for the ask !

I prefer enneagram over MBTI because I find it easier to type; so fair warning that I'm not an authority on MBTI-typing. But I do have have an ongoing RWBY typing that includes MBTI sooo... here goes !

(I'm putting my ennea typings along with it, but not explaining them on this post)

➸ RWBYJNPR

Ruby • xNFP 6w7 9w1 2w3?

I just can't decide between the two fors Ruby because... it kind of goes both way ??? Like Ruby definitely feels as INFP for the first half of the series; she's got a clear Fi > Ne preference... But then when she develops her Tert in V6 it's just... Te ? And she really doesn't show much Si actually she fits more the Si inf vibe in the form of forgetting about bad memories and her mom until people dig it up and she's like "nooo !" ?? So it looks like Te > Si but also Fi > Ne; conclusion idfk

Weiss • ISTJ 1w2 6w5 3w4 sp/so

Clear Fi tert rearing its head along with the 1 so I'm going with ISTJ; I also never really saw any Ne. Her type isn't too disagreed upon so tell me if you want a lenghtier explanation.

Blake • ISFP 6w5 9w8 4w3 (in some order)

Wooh this might get the anger of some (i have experience with the INFJ typers) but Blake goddamn REEKS of Fi. Less so recently but for the first seasons oh my god. She straights up catch you by the shirt and tells you "I'm doing the right thing"; and said right thing is so heavily dependant on her own subjectives values, which is why Blake can't reconcile with the current White Fang; because she doesn't have a strong Je vision of "what objectively works in the end", she only sees actions in terms of immediate right and wrong, and this b&w dichotomy stems from herself. What the WF is doing is wrong and the circumstances don't matter for judging the morality of their actions (of course I'm not talking about murder here bc that's pretty wrong ALL THE TIME but for example the stealing occuring in V1 bc of the WF is a better example)

Yang • ESXP 7w8 8w7 2w3

I'm sorry about that but I can't help you on that aspect anon, I still can't make up my mind about whether Yang has Fi or Ti. I have seen arguments for both, and i'm not the best at picking up on Ti so it's hard for me to tell.

Jaune • ESFJ 6w7 3w2 9w1

No strong opinions on his MBTI, it's kinda just based on vibes

Nora • ENFP 6w7 9w8 3w2

Textbook ENFP, not much to say here x))

Pyrrha • XXFJ 2w1 1w2 6?

In my list Pyrrha is currently written down as ISFJ but that's mostly based on the general consensus and me wanting to get rid of the XX. I don't actually have any convincing arguments to decide on Ni or Si, so I could go either way if someone else makes their case well. I feel like she's Fe aux more than dom, but even about that I could change my mind. Pyrrha didn't have that much screentime in the end :((

Ren • ISTJ? 9w1 5w4 4w5

Ironically I'm not sure about his type, kind of like you. I've mentionned I'm not very good at picking up on Ti right ? And Ren was a background character before V4 really. I had him written down as ISTP for a while but I've seen some convincing arguments for ISTJ so I might lean toward that actually but who knows. The thing I'm very confident about is his 5 fix = )

➸ Faunus bonus

Sun • ESFP 7w6 2w3 9w1 so/sx

I don't see any Ne at all either so I don't understand the ENFP typings...?? Maybe the 7 stereotypes ? Imo Sun is just a very good boy; certified ESFP 7 himbo; triple positive sunshine !

Ilia • Ti-Fe axis ?

Again, not enough screentime for me to make an educated guess. My only certainty is : not high Fi. It's the source of their conflicts. Blake confidence in absolute right & wrong, tracing lines in the sand between acceptable & unacceptable. Whereas Ilia can only shake her head and say "Because it works", or cry out "I don't know what else to do !"

Adam • 3w4 8w7 6w5

I honestly don't really have much of an opinion about Adam's MBTI, i'm sorry anon ;; I don't know enough about how he thinks

➸ Oz-related things and his circle

Ozpin • INFJ 5w4 2w1 1w9

I would personally call him an INFJ. I... never really got INTP vibes from him ? I don't see the Fe inf work out with his interactions : he's always rather at ease, he knows how to navigate around people... His focus inherently lies on doing what's best for the "group", the people, humanity. Fx functions are both concerned with ethics, in different ways, and I think Oz reflects that well. He IS concerned with the moral weight of his actions, but it's a more adaptable and unpersonnal concern than Fi people. He regards Ironwood's soul machines as something wrong, but can still agree to use it if the situations demand it for example. So... if the INFJ + 5 makes sense to you, well that's what I'm typing him personally. I also feel like Ni fits him more than Ne. Ozpin has a very linear way of planning, he does use his fair share of symbolism in every day conversation... Even when taking decisions, he... kind of cares about the meaning of things a lot ? It's hard to explain but like; the way he highlights the difference between an army and a guardian, and the emotionnal response it brings. I don't know it feels like there's some Ni vibes in there x)

Oscar • ISFJ 9w8 6w7 3w2

Oscar's type honestly isn't the one I would have the easiest time explaining in lenght but yea. It's mostly vibes; also just like Ozpin he doesn't seem to have a particularly Fi reasonning. And he feels more grounded, I don't really remember any Ni so... yay ?

Ironwood • ENFJ 6w5 1w2 3w4 (pre-Vol8); ENTJ (post-Vol8)

Might be weird if you think he was a dictator from the start, but I kind of entertained the idea of Ironwood being Fe dom ? From his very first interaction it was very clear that he was a Je dom to me; he's all about objective results; he doesn't give off the "internal framework" or "personnal values" vibe AT ALL; so it was more a matter of picking Te or Fe. He LOOKS super Te don't get me wrong; but he also has an enneagram tritype that is very common amongst XXTJs (and TJs stereotypes thus derive from it). And just like Oz, his focus at all time seemed to be the greater good and doing what's best for the people still. So I was like... Eh, a "harsh" ENFJ I think that's interesting ? Plus Fe ethics actually derive from their environment, kinda like "everyone agrees that Y is wrong", and if you consider that James is from Atlas... Well his way of thinking and ethics align pretty well with the military.

His character took a turn for the worse in V8 (whether too quick or not depends on who you ask) and past that point he's a clear ENTJ; but I feel like it was more debatable before that. Idk though I might be overthinking this in the hope of making more interesting combinations xD

Qrow • ISTP 4w3 6w7? 1w9? sp/sx

I don't really see anything else than ISTP for Qrow... But he's not a character I would want to find Ti arguments for either.

Raven • ENTJ Cp6w5 8w9 3w4

Most villains get called ENTJ at the first occasions tbh zlqfznhqzkf but I think it fits Raven for the most part actually...

➸ Atlas

Winter • ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w5

The whole Schnee family has the same enneagram tritype in different order/different wings, it's ridiculous I think she has a higher Te than Weiss, and Fi inf fits her more. She struggles more to reconcile with her emotions and the idea of a personal right/wrong than her little sis.

Penny • ENFP 4w3 6w7 9w1 sx/so

Perfect example of a healthy 4, she's a great friend a cutie pie. ... Sorry we were talking about MBTI x) Well again, textbook ENFP. Not much to debate here.

Whitley • 3w4 1w9 6w5?

Not enough material for me to guess a MBTI type correctly either, sorry... I could see some kind of xNTJ yea but it's really just vibes and not enough concrete.

➸ Antagonists and Extras

Cinder • 8w7 3w4 6w5

Never cared to guess her MBTI type. I hereby type her as insufferable qkfqskfq. More seriously, I don't really know sorry Anon :/

Emerald • 2w3 ?w? ?w?

I never got Fe vibes from her tbh, I just think she's a 2. And Fe as a function is very infused with 2 stereotypes. So yea. Like, she isn't even that worried about the morality of her actions or anything more than the other villains. She just cares more about her personal relationships and being loved, so she automatically looks much nicer, especially with 2 mechanisms of trying to make herself useful and needed. Also because she's surrounded by 8-ish people xD

Mercury • 8w9 7w8 ?w?

ISTP doesn't sound too farfeteched, but I never MBTI-typed him either, sorry.

+

Bartholomew Oobleck • xSxJ 5w4

The only vibe he gave me is Si somewhere because of all his talks about learning from the past and everything repeats itself and it's a mine of informations at Mountain Glen... That's really the only time I tried to put down anything for him, and it was Si + 5. He could be some kind of xNTP nerd too for sure, but that's more vibe and I couldn't make an actual argument for it.

[goth-albino-angel]

Yugiri's smile is everything. She has so many of them and they all mean different things. When she's relaxed, when she's excited, when she's confused, when she has no clue what's going on but everyone else is happy so she's happy, when she's relieved, when she's proud... She has so many different smiles and if Tumblr didn't have the 10 image rules, I would absolutely gush about every single one of them in detail. Unfortunately, if I do that, all of those posts will probably be eaten out of the tag, so instead, here are my top 10 favorite Yugiri smiles so far, images included. (Pre-Revenge episode 9)

10. Season One, Episode 2: The First Smile/ 9. Season One, Episode 10: The Sentimental Smile

Episode 2 is the first time we ever see Yugiri smile. Before this, she seemed relatively nonplussed or generally disinterested in pretty much everything going on. Even though she was in a different time period with complete strangers and a madman demanding her to be something she has no knowledge of, she was fairly calm. Then the first time we see her smile, it's when she sees something completely familiar. Her own face. Not only that, but she directs that smile toward the character that is going to become basically her little sister. The first one means so much and it's so important.

Within the same vein, her smile to Kotaro in episode 10 is one during an emotionally heavy moment. It's the first time he's hit an actual snag in his plans. Sakura's singular focus on the Arpino show rather than on the bigger picture of the group as a whole would have been a massive roadblock had she not realized her mistake.

Yugiri is the only one who properly realizes the reason they were sent into the mountains in the first place. Instead of simply sitting on the information, she's proactive about it and actually goes to discuss the problem with Kotaro. She wants to understand his reasoning so that she might be able to help him. And when she turns toward him, she also gives him the observations she's witnessed throughout her new life. This smile may be low on my list of favorites, but it's still unbelievably important.

...Also, when they released the preview image of this smile, my brain short-circuited for ten minutes, so it had to make it onto the list regardless.

8. Season Two, Episode One: The Professional Smile

This smile isn't much out of the ordinary for what we've come to expect of Yugiri, but it's on here because this was our first look at Yugiri after basically two years of very little. None of us knew how the group would come back, how the writing team had incorporated the unexpected pandemic, how things would play out, or what would be happening. The Promo showed Tae's hand flying off to knock off Sakura's head, but as 2018 displayed, the promos can't always be trusted. This showed that, even in this new world where she's only been awake for a year, she's putting her skills to use and working just as hard as the others. Thanks to the conversation from Episode 10 of the first season, we know she was trained as a geisha which would make service work much easier than it would be for the other girls.

I don't have too much to say on this one, to be honest. I do like that she's in softer lighting, as opposed to the others who were all surrounded by harsh lighting on their season two introductions. The softer lighting lends itself well to the lack of pigment and coloration in the girls' makeup, allowing Yugiri to look like she has some color, even if she still looks somewhat pale and tired. It doesn't give her quite the same sickly look the others have at their jobs. The red dress? 100/10. Perfect decision.

7. Season One, Episode Five: The Proud Smile

SHE. DOES. GYMNASTICS. She has every right to this smile! I did the math for this specific part of the episode and Yugiri got third place. The judges liked her rope aerobics so much, they shot her all the way to third place even though her distance was zero meters. It wouldn't have gotten her interviewed, but it would have at least put Franchouchou at the forefront. I still applaud Tae snagging first place, but Yugiri deserves some praise. She really did go face first into the mud on a bike and said, "Never again." She's so proud of herself. I'll be gushing about the actual gymnastics part in a different post a little later, too, but she definitely deserves to be proud of herself. I'm really gay...

6. Season One, Episode Four: The Cute Smile

Originally, this was just going to be me doing some keysmash version of a squeal or something, but there's something I'd like to draw attention to. I'm pretty sure that, by this point, Franchouchou only knows two songs. Yomigaere, which was supposed to be performed in episode 2, and Mezame Returner, which is what's being performed here. Of these two, Yugiri has more experience with this one, but from what the audience had been shown, it wasn't good experience.

Memorizing the lyrics would have been the easy part for her. It's that a good portion of the dance practice was also spent helping Lily get the steps down and potentially calming her frustrations. Then the performance itself would have been a complete disaster if Junko and Ai hadn't gotten over themselves at the last minute to finally help.

This is the first successful performance of Mezame Returner we're witnessing and it's clear the group's had more practice since then. You can see how excited and happy Yugiri is here because this one is actually going well. They had a bit more time to prepare, the two lead roles were actually involved this time, and the audience also was clearly enjoying the performance. She's so happy and it's just so heart-warming to see. Yes, even with the CGI. Don't @ me, she looks adorable.

5. Season One, Episode Seven: The Sassy Smile

This one also was just going to be a squealing keysmash thing, but again, I have something to point out. Look how much more confident she is now that Junko and Ai have, once again, gotten over themselves. Yugiri sees the effect that Junko stepping in had on the others and just like the rest of the group, her movements are more relaxed and free.

It's more obvious, actually, if you look at the way the other girls are moving directly after Junko helps Ai up in comparison to how Yugiri is moving. She did a spin while waiting for Sakura and Lily to finish their segment, and she could be cheeky during her own. She sensed that the tension had mostly dissolved and because of that, she allowed herself to relax and could properly throw herself into the performance. When she throws out this smile and wink, it's not actually directed at the audience. It's Yugiri telling the others that they've got this without breaking the performance.

4. Season Two, Episode Four: The Gentle Smiles

I put both of these here because Yugiri's just... so... caring? So much of what she does is passive that you don't realize just how much work she puts into relieving the stress from the other girls until long after the problem has been resolved.

In the first, she's speaking to Sakura. No doubt, Yugiri probably noticed how worried Sakura was about Junko. Even though Sakura was trying not to let the others catch on just how anxious she really was, Yugiri still knew that something was bothering Sakura as well as Junko. Yugiri knew that the key to easing Junko's mind lay in placating Sakura first. She's seen what happens to them all when they fall apart and she wants to avoid that at all costs. So, Yugiri lifts Sakura's spirits and gives her back the fire and determination to make a great performance.

In the second, Yugiri is watching Junko eat. Unlike the others, it's clear Yugiri knows that Junko is in much higher spirits than when last they saw her. Junko would likely have still been a stuttering, quivering mess otherwise, but she wasn't stuttering and her actions were purposeful and self-assured. Yugiri is very observant. She would have caught on that something had happened to make Junko feel better. What makes this smile even better is that she's not the least bit disappointed. The reason she made dinner was to help Junko, but she doesn't view the meal as a waste of time. She's so focused on other people, that she's happy Junko is feeling better at all and even offers her different platters to help keep her mood up.

These are high on the list for two reasons. One, they're a show of just how much Yugiri does for her girls. Two, YUGIRI COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HEADCANON CONFIRMED BITCHEEEESSS!!! I GOT ONE RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!

3. Season Two, Episode Six: The Affectionate Smile

I will be completely honest, I have no idea why this one is as high as it is. I admit, I did spend three hours replaying this single thirty second scene because it's really sweet and Yugiri and Tae don't interact very often, so seeing Yugiri not only be worried for Tae, but also be immediately reassured that Tae would be fine was just something my heart didn't know it needed until it had it. The sheer level of affection Yugiri shows toward Tae is too adorable. Especially since Yugiri usually only has moments like those with Sakura and, to a lesser extent, Lily. This smile's really cute, it's in the middle of a wholesome scene, and it made me love both Yugiri and Tae that much more.

2. Season One, Episode Three: The Excited Smile

Once again, an entry that was going to be a simple squealing keysmash until I realized there was something to point out here as well. This is the first smile we ever see from Yugiri that's genuinely enthusiastic. She has plenty of them, especially during her performances, but this is our first time seeing her fully incorporate herself into the group as an actual member and actually look excited to do something with the others. This was an omen of adorable things to come and damn did it deliver.

Honorable Mentions.

I'm only going to touch on each of these briefly because to be honest, there are a LOT of smiles I could've picked.

The first one is from episode 6 when the group is talking about their very first meet-and-greet. Lily asks Yugiri if she's keeping up okay, and Yugiri remarks that she's taking things as they come. This was a small look into the kind of character she is. As I mentioned before, she's very passive in the way she operates, but that's to the benefit of those she cares for. This is her admitting that she doesn't want to be a problem and it's just sweet that even though Lily is worried about her, Yugiri's still highkey thinking about everyone else.

To the right is a shot of Yugiri during Electric Returner. This one is just the squealing keysmash because she looks so genuinely ecstatic, it's contagious. She's NO DAMN CLUE what happened or why they sound so different, but she is absolutely living her best second life.

The next shot comes from the beginning of Yomigaere and is somewhat of a repeat of the above. She's excited to perform for such a big crowd, she's glad Sakura finally agreed to actually participate, and she's living her best second life. Whoever animates Yugiri's CG model? I love you. I want to send you a gift basket. She's always so happy during performances.

Then comes her smile after the group finds out Sakura's memories are back. She's just glad Sakura, her Sakura, has come back to them, that she accepts her crap luck and is still willing to stay. For Yugiri, this goes under the list of Best Possible Outcomes. Her family is whole again and she's so relieved.

Last in the top row is the first full frontal shot we get of Yugiri in the Saga Jihen music video. She's so unbelievably adorable here. I wish I could've gotten her first expression, but the curtain was still rising and without photoshop, I'm not editing an image to the degree needed to get her whole face lightened. Point is, she's cute and everyone deserves to see her adorable face on the first song she got to be center for.

First on the bottom row is Yugiri looking apologetic from episode 8 of Revenge. She's so cute. It was an honest mistake and she had no way of knowing the paper belonged to Kiichi. No doubt, that was probably why she offered to help him rewrite them later.

Next is how cute she looks in big sister mode. She's wiping the mud from Kiichi's cheeks and is taking such care with him. Throughout the entire episode, she treats him like a little kid and it's likely because her role was big sister for so long that she doesn't know how not to treat him that way. It really does shed light on just how kind she is to everyone, though, that she doesn't even think about her dirty kimono and focuses on cleaning him up a little first.

Then we have her smiling at Kiichi as she remarks on how beautiful his dream of reviving Saga is. She even says she hopes it comes true. His dream means something to her. She can't even fully see it, he can't even fully see it, but they don't need to. What Itou didn't understand this whole time is something Yugiri understood immediately just from listening to Kiichi talk. They don't need to see it in their minds, all they need is to feel it in their hearts, and that's something Yugiri knows.

And lastly on the honorable mentions, because this post is already super long, Yugiri smiling while she's cooking for her guests. It was a tossup between this or the pinwheel because it's just really nice that Yugiri can simply enjoy mundane things. I chose this one because it's a direct contrast to how she was at the beginning. Before, she ate with a disinterested expression, but now, she's cooking for guests rather than just for herself. The lift in her mood is obvious, and it's something so small but so heartwarming, I couldn't resist.

I would've put the pinwheel moment anyway, but unfortunately, as a com major, formatting and design are everything and an extra picture on the top or bottom without a balancer would've thrown the whole thing off. Maybe next time.

NOW FOR NUMBER ONE

1. Season Two, Episode Eight: The Softest Smile

This should have been expected. There's something genuinely touching about the fact that Yugiri really does give her everything, even to complete strangers. These girls barely know her, everyone in town barely knows her, but because her dance students suggested Yugiri go out and actually experience, Yugiri gives it actual thought. She doesn't dismiss them, she doesn't deride them, she doesn't make them feel foolish or anything like that. She treats their suggestion the same way she would if it had come from a close friend. And she does actually take them up on it.

Later, we see her come into contact with Kiichi to demonstrate that even full-on strangers aren't exempt from her kind heart, but this means more. All we know is that these girls take Yugiri's dance class, and from the way they speak when we first meet them, it's clear Yugiri has a professional wall between herself and those she instructs. But she still treats them as she would the girls back in Shimabara. It's proof that, even in the past, Yugiri really was just as kind-hearted as in the present. It's a show don't tell kind of thing that just speaks so deeply to the writer in me. I love this smile. It's everything. Her smiles are everything. She's everything.

[anna-pixie]

//I do actually!! I was wondering if you wouldn't mind doing a Prince Nuada x chubby shy/social anxiety/insecure reader? Maybe he notices her because she is mostly on her own? A little romantic or fluffy, some comfort in his own blunt way? :) I've been feeling down lately and Nuada (even though he's "evil") is my favorite character!! Plus he's cute so that is a bonus. Lol. If not I can pick someone else instead of him. :)

finally got this done, i’m sorry it took so long - i struggled to write for this character for some reason. probably just because i’m unfamiliar with him. i hope i did him justice, but if i didn’t please let me know, i’d love to try again! (i hope the end isn’t too dark, i know you wanted fluff!)

request: Prince Nuada x chubby shy/social anxiety/insecure reader? Maybe he notices her because she is mostly on her own? A little romantic or fluffy, some comfort in his own blunt way? :)

pairings: prince nuada x reader

warnings: violence, death, bullying.

*

Your leg bounces as you take a seat on the back row, chewing on your nails as you focus on trying not to breathe too loudly. Someone turns, their eyes passing over you as they look for someone entering the room. Your brain tells you that they’re looking at you. Oh, God. Do you have something on your face? You think that person is friends with Ryan anyway. Speaking of the devil, he strides into the room without a care, a smirk spreading across his face when he sees you sitting on your lonesome. 

He stops next to your seat for a moment, flicking your pen onto the floor as he pretends to be apologetic. 

“Oh, silly me!” He exclaims dramatically, and you hear a few giggles around the room, “I’m ever so sorry, fatso. Oops! I mean, Y/N.” He grins at you, baring his slightly yellow teeth as you look at the ground, begging yourself not to cry again. 

You thought you’d be safe from childish bullies by now, I mean, you’re in your last year of university Goddammit. But no, Ryan torments you relentlessly day in and day out. You already have enough anxiety, this was just the cherry on top. 

You let out a small sigh as your lecturer enters the hall using the door at the front of the room. He is followed by a few students, each wheeling in a podium with a glass case atop. You feel yourself getting excited, your professor has managed to rent a few artifacts to enrich your lecture today, you can’t wait. 

Ancient culture has always been your calling. From a young age, you were completely fascinated by it. It’s like your safety blanket, your comfort for when the world gets too harsh for you. You don’t even feel like you’re doing a degree on it, it feels like you’re learning for fun. 

20 minutes later, you stop taking notes to shake your hand out, it gets terribly achy when you write for too long. You listen to your professor talk about the royal crown of something or other, when he is interrupted by the lights suddenly flickering, before going out altogether. 

Your breathing speeds up and you try desperately to get it under control, your eyes widening in fright when you see the man striding into the room. Is it a man? If he is, he must be the strangest looking man you’ve ever seen. You realise he is speaking, but you can’t hear what he is saying, your mind is too loud. You’re screaming in your head, but you can only manage to choke on your quick breaths out loud. You see your classmates panicking, screaming, running to the back of the room. 

You don’t move, you can’t. You’re paralysed. You don’t even move as the white haired man kills your professor with his giant staff. You don’t move when you hear the thunderous footsteps behind you. You don’t move when a giant metal fist slams down beside you, tables and chairs breaking and wood chips flying all over the place. Some slice your skin, but you don’t notice. 

You only move when you feel warmth under your chin. A hand, you think. Your head is tilted up and you lock eyes with the creature that killed your professor. Skin as pale as the paper in your discarded notebook, lips as black as your hair. Your eyes trace the light scarring on his face, and only then do you register that his lips are moving. 

“You didn’t run, foolish girl.” His voice is low, unexpectedly posh, and dare you say - comforting?

“I-I didn’t run.” You repeat. Your brain is taking a while to catch up with the events at hand. This happens every time you have a minor panic attack. 

“I should kill you.”

“Oh.” Is your only response. Very good. 

“You’re shaking like a leaf.” His hand travels to your hand, sliding down before resting on your upper arm. You cringe as he squeezes slightly. Is he going to comment on your weight as well?

“I’m sorry. I-I couldn’t move. I… they probably wouldn’t have let me leave anyway.” You don’t even expect your words, and neither does this strange person whose face resembles Munch’s ‘Scream’. 

“Excuse me?”

“Nevermind, I’m sorry. I-.” You stop talking. You realise that you’re probably going to die, why bother talking and just embarrassing yourself more?

He points his bloody staff towards the door that the rest of the class had escaped through, “The ones who fled, they tormented you?” 

He is oddly perceptive, and although you had just witnessed him kill someone, you can’t help but find his concern comforting. 

“Yes.” There’s no point lying, not now. 

“Why?” You giggle sardonically, as if it’s not obvious. You wave your hands, gesturing to your body. 

“Please, elaborate.”

“Me. I’m asking for it, can’t you see? I’m fat!” You’re crying now. Isn’t that strange, you’re crying at this rather than the thought of your impending death at the hands of a weirdly attractive madman. 

“Your tormentors are nothing but cowards. Action should be taken with reason behind it. Do you think I would kill if not to achieve a goal?” You shake your head, too nervous to disagree with him, “Human bodies. They’re easily destructible. But they’re different. I’ve seen many humans in my time, no two with the same body. Being larger isn’t something that should be frowned upon. Look at my friend here.” You turn to the large blue monster guarding the doorway, “He’s absolutely hideous, to the people who ran away from him. An ugly monster, they say. To me he is precious. Everything that repulses them makes him special to me. Looks change, bodies change. Look at you. You’re beautiful.” A tear slides down your face as the pale man finishes speaking. 

“Wow. I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Stop crying.” He snaps, causing you to flinch suddenly, “Humans.” He tuts, shaking his head. 

“Thank you…”

“Nuada.”

“Thank you, Nuada.” 

He tilts your chin up once more, this time with the sharp end of his staff. 

“You’re not like them.” That’s the last thing he says to you before he leaves, taking an artefact with him as he goes. You listen to the thunderous sounds of that things footsteps retreating as you sit silently. What had just happened?

*

Everything went back to normal pretty quickly. You assume Nuada has forgotten about you. Of course he has, why would he bother remembering someone like you? 

Ryan’s tormenting only got worse, it’s clear he is suffering some severe issues ever since the ordeal and he seems to be taking it out on you. 

You accept that this will never change, until one day it does. 

You get home to a parcel on your doorstep. You don’t know what you’re expecting, it’s so beautifully wrapped, with a gold wax seal and everything. You shut your front door with your shoulder, unwrapping the parcel as you go. It’s strangely heavy. You peek inside once you open it, furrowing your brows as you see a large sheet with some beautifully written words on:

‘THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO COWARDS’

You pull the paper out, screaming at the top of your lungs and dropping the box when you see what is inside. The box hits the floor and falls over, the object rolling onto the floor. 

Ryan’s head. 

Just his head. 

You should be horrified, you know. However, you can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face. Nuada sure has unorthodox methods of comforting someone.

[lochrannn]

Warnings: Sexual Content (M Rating)

Characters: Lila Pitts; Diego Hargreeves; Hargreeves Siblings (background)

Relationship: Lila Pitts/Diego Hargreeves

Roommates AU; Fake Marriage; Slow Burn; Mutual Pining

Chapter 1/?

-

So it’s been a week since Lila fooled around with her roommate… her landlord?

… Diego! It’s been a week since Lila fooled around with Diego and she’s just a bit unsure about how she’s supposed to feel about it.

It’s not like things have become completely awkward, per se. They hadn’t been hanging out beforehand, they’d just been two people who were polite and courteous about sharing a living space.

One time she’d offered him the rest of her dinner that she’d cooked when he had come in really late in the evening - he kept odd working hours, but then she’s always thought Americans are bad at striking a healthy work life balance - and she’d kept him company in the kitchen while he was eating. They’d had a pleasant chat and she’d felt reassured then that he seemed like a decent enough guy, but that was basically that.

Until he walked into the living room one sweltering afternoon, while she was in the kitchen, apparently didn’t realise she was there, decided to have himself some alone time, and all of a sudden she was treated to his deep, rich voice making all of these rumbling sexy noises, and when she spotted his face turned up to the ceiling where his head was resting on the back of the couch, eyebrows knitted together, full lips slightly parted, eyes closed in concentration, it hit her like a tone of bricks how fucking hot he was.

So in the spur of the moment she decided to get herself involved. And all things considered, she can’t get herself to regret that. Not least because Diego reciprocated so thoroughly that for the last week she’s not been able to stop thinking about his lips, and tongue, and teeth on her every time she’s bumped into him. And sometimes even completely out of nowhere when he isn’t even around.

She told him not to make things weird after and he’d cockily responded with, “Why would I?”, leant into her where she was still sitting on the sofa, kissed her till she was breathless, clearly encouraged by the way she couldn’t help melting against her, before heading out again and to go and meet some family.

And maybe he isn’t being weird, maybe it’s her. He’s not mentioned it again and they’ve gone back to mostly just living their separate lives while in the same space, but maybe with this gentle underlying buzz of tension that wasn’t really there before.

And Lila’s noticed that when she finished his bottle of fizzy ice tea, he replaced it right away but hasn’t touched it himself since. Curious.

-

And so, of course, they inevitably end up in bed together.

It’s hot, and fun, and maybe a little rough, because she niggles and needles at Diego until he holds her down, until her muscles ache from how hard she’s shaking, and afterwards she doesn’t get up and go back to her room, instead she falls asleep with him, too tired and sated to move.

Lila wakes up in the middle of the night and is just a bit disoriented at first until the memories flood back in and she realises she’s lying with her head cushioned on Diego’s arm and her back nestled up against his side. He must have his face turned towards her because she can feel his breath ever so slightly hit the back of her head.

Idly, she wonders if she should head to her own bed, avoid the inevitable awkwardness of waking up together in the morning. At least, she thinks, her legs will support her now, she wasn’t too sure about that earlier. But she’s so comfortable and it’s been a while since she’s gone to sleep with anyone and not just fucked them, that she decides against bursting their little bubble and instead lays her hand in Diego’s outstretched palm in front of her, interlaces their fingers, and turns her head a bit so she can press her lips to his biceps.

Lila thought he was asleep, but when she kisses his arm she can feel him hum deep in his chest and he turns around and readjusts till he has his whole front tightly pressed to her back and throws his arm over her torso, splaying his long fingers over her belly.

“Hey,” he whispers and kisses her shoulder gently.

With a hum of her own, Lila stretches like a cat, mostly in response to the shiver that runs down her spine at the sound of his voice and then she thinks fuck it and covers his hand with hers and carefully moves it down and in between her legs.

Diego catches on immediately and nudges his knee between her thighs to give them more room to stroke and tease her together and Lila is delighted with the way he lets her direct his fingers, show him where she wants to be touched and how, while Diego scrapes his teeth over the top of her spine and then sucks hard at the spot.

It’s all too much and not enough for Lila, as she feels her muscles flutter around nothing and when she starts grinding into his hand that she’s pressing hard against herself with her own, she feels his arousal nudge against her bum. On impulse Lila tilts her hips further forward and reaches in between her own legs to align them, and before she can push back, Diego nudges his hips against her and pushes into her almost painfully slowly.

As a shaky breath escapes her lips and she hears a very similar noise from Diego, that he hums into her neck, a tiny rational part of her thinks they should have probably stopped to get a condom, but she’s too turned on to hold on to that thought, when Diego starts rhythmically filling to the hilt, never thrusting, never speeding up, just slowly but surely winding her up, until she has to sink her teeth into the flesh of his arm, making him hiss but not draw away, to muffle her loud moans.

Diego’s fingers continue to rub her in gentle but unwavering circles and Lila moves her own hand to feel where they’re joined. And as she feels with her fingertips how he’s stretching her, how tightly her muscles are contracting around him, the dam breaks and the orgasm that has so persistently been building washes through her, making her skin tingle from the roots of her hair to her toes and she makes a small whimpering noise with how she feels it absolutely everywhere.

Diego grunts and she can feel him begin to pull away, so on some possibly hormone driven instinct, she reaches back quickly and clamps her hand on his hip to hold him in place.

“Lila, I’m gonna…” Diego rushes out in a whisper but Lila interrupts him with, “it’s ok!” and a harsh breath escapes him before he pushes into her only a few more times and then empties himself inside her with a soft moan.

They’re both panting despite the fact that they barely moved the entire time and as Lila can feel her heart racing and a warm feeling spreading out from her centre and all through her body and into her limbs, she turns around in Diego’s arms, ignores the slightly unpleasant sensation between her legs, hooks one over his hip so she can hold onto him tightly and softly brushes her lips against his, glad for the dark, because she’s not so sure she knows what she’d do if she could see his expression properly.

Diego responds by tightening his arms around her and deepening the kiss, until all she can focus on is the way his tongue slides against hers, the soft pressure of his full lips, and the way they stretch into a smile as she hums drowsily into his mouth.

Lila loses track of time and at some point they must fall asleep because she wakes in the early hours of the morning, slightly less entangled in Diego’s limbs but still pressed into his side, and in the cold harsh light of day, as her rational thoughts are no longer completely being drowned out by her desire, she realises the stupid mistake she made during the night, and swallowing down her panic, slips out of Diego’s hold and his room to find a pharmacy and a morning after pill as quickly as possible.

-

Diego is drifting in and out of sleep when the comfortable weight at his side suddenly disappears and Lila leaves him in the early hours of the morning, closing the door silently behind herself but somehow the sound nevertheless reverberates around Diego’s sparsely furnished room.

His arm feels so suddenly unoccupied and useless that he tucks it behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling and watches dustmotes float around in the sunlight that filters in through his half drawn drapes.

He doesn’t go back to sleep, even though a quick look at his alarm clock tells him that it’s very early, instead he lies awake and frets.

How has he let this happen again? He’d felt guilty enough about it the first time around and had promised himself not to indulge in anything more with Lila again, whatever his feelings might be and yet now he’s taken her to bed and though she was enthusiastic about it, how can he be fully certain that she doesn’t think he has some kind of expectation now, or that her continued stay in his apartment is somehow dependent on her willingness fuck him?

And then he remembers that he slept with her without a condom.

“Fuck!” he says out loud. He’s not some horny teenager anymore, he knows so much better than this. Unbidden his thoughts drift to his biological mother, a woman he’s never known, and wonders whether she’d been in a similar situation, whether some asshole who couldn’t keep it in his pants had left her high and dry when she got pregnant, leaving her with no other option than to give him away.

Diego covers his eyes with his hand, pressing his fingers into them in an attempt to stave off the tears that are threatening to leak out.

Fuck, he’s a grown-ass man, and he might have a failing business and apparently really shitty luck with women, cause of course the first time he meets someone he feels truly drawn to in years, she’s his fucking tenant, but he’s damned if he won’t take responsibilty for his own actions.

He’s got to get to work, but the next time he sees her, he needs to clear the air with Lila.

[sofreddie]

Sam's Revenge (Part 7)

Characters: Sam, Dean x Reader, Bobby, Garth, Charlie, Benny, Others mentioned

Warnings: Angst, Multiple Character Deaths, Violence, Gore

Word Count: 1,212

My Masterlist

Series Masterlist

PART 6

Hundreds of yards away, a dark shadow loomed under the moonlight, his dark and narrowed eyes fixed on the Bunker in the distance. His mind flashed with images of the building, its occupants, its history, before returning to the memories that haunted him. Memories of blood, monsters, carnage…and betrayal.

A low growl from his side drew his attention from the building in the distance and he sighed.

“Alright,” Sam said, patting the head of the Hellhound beside him. He turned his black eyes back on the building, a wicked smirk adorning his lips, “Time to go home.”

Sam had waited patiently for the Hunters of The Way to gather at the Bunker facility. He received daily reports of activities, who had shown up to the Bunker, what they were up to. While he did have sources inside the Bunker, he was unable to find a way onto the Council or into their secret chambers. Which meant he didn't really know what they were up to. Only what they let people know.

Sam knew how it worked. He was, after all, a Winchester.

Which meant he knew that his message to Dean would set off alarms amongst the surviving Elites.

"I challenge the Leader!" Sam cheered, raising his stick in the air as he declared battle against his older brother, who almost always got to be the Leader.

"I shall defend The Way with honor!" Dean responded, his own stick in hand as he crossed that arm over his chest in a heroic pose before winking at Sam and grinning.

The two of them engaged in sword fighting with their sticks, running about the wooded area outside the old Winchester cabin. It was their favorite childhood hang out and where Bobby brought them sometimes for camping and Winchester tales.

"You two idjits playin' Challenge the Leader again?" Bobby scoffed, waving them over to join him around the small campfire he'd made outside. The boys groaned, dropping their game, but retaining their sticks for roasting marshmallows and poking the fire.

"Did you ever play it?" Sam asked the older Hunter as they settled around the fire.

"It's not a game," Bobby shook his head, "It's The Way, it's our history."

Both boys settled in for oncoming tale. It was how Bobby liked to teach them best.

"When Ezra Winchester - son of the founder, Elijah Winchester - died, the Leadership passed on to the eldest of his two sons, William. William began to go dark," Bobby explained, biting back that comment about the actions being similar to the path their own father was following, "William strayed from The Way and the Tenents. So the younger brother, Matthew, defended The Way. He stood up to his brother and challenged him to a duel. William only accepted after they agreed it must be to the death."

"Who won?" Dean asked curiously.

"Matthew did," Bobby breathed out, "The Way was saved…for a while at least," he smiled bittersweetly.

"When I'm Leader, I'll defend The Way with my life," Dean promised with a solemn nod.

"You can have it," Sam said, shaking his head as he got lost in staring at the fire, "There's more to life than just The Way, than hunting," Sam sighed gloomily, "Spend long enough around monsters, you start to become one. I don't want this life."

Sam dared to dream of a normal life. Of college and family and an absolute lack of monsters and the supernatural. As soon as he was old enough, he was gone, never to return to the life.

Dean sat at the head of the Council table. Y/N sat to his right, followed by each representative of the other Elite families: Garth for the Fitzgeralds, Bobby for the Singers, Charlie for the Bradburys, and Benny for the LaFittes, leaving them one family short of the original six. All things considered, Dean figured they were doing okay.

There was initially harsh opposition from the other Elites when Y/N nominated Benny for a spot. She stood her ground and vouched for his loyalty, forcing them to look past his vampirism. No one was willing to truly go against her and in the end, she won out. Benny proved to be a fierce ally and quickly earned the respect of the others.

Although Dean and Y/N were married, technically making her a Winchester, she maintained as head of the Y/L/N clan and their lands. Another thing she insisted on. She didn't want her family and what generations had worked for to disappear simply because she married Dean. He understood and it was left at that.

Their meeting was suddenly interrupted by the loud sounds of frightened screams bouncing through the hallways. Everyone was suddenly on the feet and at attention, weapons at the ready. The fallout attack was still too new, too fresh. It probably always would be.

The members in the Council room all nodded to each other, indicating their readiness to move as group and investigate the source of the increasing sounds.

The Bunker door slammed open loudly before Sam ducked through the doorway. He paused on the landing, looking down upon mostly fresh faces that looked up at him with curiosity. Sam grinned as he descended the steps, joining the small group in the room.

"Feel free to scream as loud as you want," Sam announced. Suddenly, several tendrils of black smoke emerged through the doorway, swirling around the room and the various Hunters. Each demon secured itself a vessel within moments. The few that couldn't be immediately possessed due to their marks were instantly killed as Sam lifted his hand and flicked his wrist, several necks breaking at once.

"Sir," one of the newly occupied Hunters stood before Sam, awaiting his next orders.

"If you find my brother or his wife," Sam spat, "Bring them to me. Anyone else, I don't care," he growled, watching as his minions dispersed to follow his orders.

Moments later, the Elites moved into the room, surrounding Sam, weapons poised to fight. Sam grinned broadly, raising his arms to show he was holding no weapons. His eyes locked on his brother and he smiled an almost boyish grin.

"I challenge the Leader," Sam spoke clearly as he locked eyes with his brother, "What do you say, Dean?" Sam shrugged, "For old times sake."

Dean leaned in towards Y/N to whisper so only she could hear, "Run, take DJ, go hide," he pleaded.

"Dean, no. DJ's safe-"

"Y/N, please," Dean begged, locking eyes with her and pleading with his soul, "Go hide."

She swallowed her protests, casting a glance at Sam who winked at her. Her stomach churned and she looked back at Dean. Reluctantly, she nodded, quickly retreating from the room and down one of the halls.

"Aww, she's not gonna stay and cheer you on?" Sam mocked with a laugh, "It's okay," he rolled his shoulders and neck before looking at Dean once more, his eyes black, "I'll deal with her when I'm done."

"You ain't going anywhere," Bobby growled out, his gun levelled at Sam. Sam laughed in response, shaking his head. He lifted his hand, curling his fingers into a fist. Everyone in the room except for Dean dropped dead, their necks broken, weapons clattering to the floor.

PART 8

Forevers:

@winchesterprincessbride

@iamcmims

@roxyspearing

@reigningqueenofwords

@mogaruke

@ellen-reincarnated1967

@speakinvain

@atc74

@sterekloveaffairs

@mrs-meghan-winchester

@chook007

@growningupgeek

@goldenolaf25

@esoltis280

@hobby27

@sis-tafics

@arryn-nyxx

@x-waywardaf-x

@shann-the-artist-moon

@sandlee44

@lucywinchester2000

@emoryhemsworth

@time-travel-bouqet

@buckysbrat

@calaofnoldor

@spnbaby-67

@miraclesoflove

@lyarr24

Sam's Revenge:

@allethalove @squirrelnotsam

@salt-n-burn-em-all

@idreamofdeanie

[sifeng]

Review: Love and Redemption

While I first started watching this drama out of pure curiosity of why people claimed it to be “the second most tragic drama” (after GMP, of course). While there are certainly aspects of this show that could be better, I find it fair to claim that it is a wonderfully made xianxia, and certainly one of the best in the genre within this decade. 

Plot:

According to legends, the god of war saved the heavens in a deadly battle against the demon a thousand years ago. Both fell from the heavens and disappeared from the world. Chu Xuan Ji was born to the world lacking in the six senses which makes her rather clueless and inept. She befriends Yu Si Feng, the outstanding head disciple of Lize Palace who falls for her, thus beginning a xianxia romance that is entangled with the conspiracies from the past. The Zan Hua Tournament is being held in the Shaoyang Sect and its leader Chu Lei has two daughters - his trusted eldest daughter Chu Ling Long, and the youngest daughter Chu Xuan Ji who is lazy and terrible at martial arts. When Yu Si Feng and Chu Xuan Ji meet through a coincidence, they forge a friendship with each other. Yu Si Feng falls for Xuan Ji despite the harsh consequences that he must face as it is forbidden for students of Lize Palace to fall in love. Meanwhile, Ling Long clashes with Wu Tong after she criticized his foul actions at the tournament. In retaliation, Wu Tong accidentally injures Xuan Ji and gets expelled. Having recovered from her injuries, Xuan Ji promises to concentrate on cultivating. Four years later, Xuan Ji and Yu Si Feng meet again. Si Feng wears a mask due to a curse that can only be broken if he finds true love. 

Cast:

Cheng Yi (成毅) as Yu Sifeng (禹司凤)

Yuan Bingyan (袁冰妍) as Chu Xuanji (褚璇玑)

Liu Xueyi (刘学义) as Hao Chen (昊辰)

Zhang Yuxi (张予曦) as Chu Linglong (褚玲珑)

My Opinions:

Plot (My Rating - A-):

First of all, I quite like the pacing in this drama. As the matter of fact, towards the end I actually feel like some things were rushed, not dragged out. It’s never a show that allows you to press the fast forward button, because 1. the tragic moments are super intense and dramatic, and 2. you don’t dare skip over the cute/funny moments because you know there won’t be many left. Second of all, I really appreciate that the writers of this drama really decided that they were going to make the most tragic drama ever. They really dedicated themselves to that craft, and I think they succeeded wonderfully. In terms of plot points, I absolutely loved the whole 9 lifetimes idea. It really brings out the tragedy and beauty of Yu Sifeng - he will do anything to protect those he loves, especially Xuanji. I would not complain if every single lifetime was made into a 45 minute episode, though that would be 405 more minutes of Sifeng being tortured by love on top of the infinite amount of minutes that already exist in this drama. 

One problem I had, again, was with the misunderstanding that separated our two leads. I understand that this misunderstanding was one that had to do with the morals, backgrounds and fates with both of them, and thus was obviously meant to be a separating factor, but with the way the two characters were written, it felt odd that it created such an amount of misunderstanding. Overall, the plot was good, it didn’t have any revolutionary ideas, but it turned up the tragedy factor and had consistent pacing (if not too rushed towards the end). I’m sure there were probably a few plot holes here and there (one of which is why is it so easy to destroy that huge jar thing towards the end? If that’s what’s keeping the universe at balance, shouldn’t it take more than just one Yuan Lang to destroy it?), but overall, solid plot.

Characters (My Rating - B):

Sifeng is an absolute angel. He’s probably the most heroic lead in a drama who acts totally out of selflessness, who will help his loved ones no matter what pain it puts him through, and who can remain so kind, so unbothered mentally by whatever pain everyone puts him through. However, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have faults. He acts irrationally in the face of love and he often mistrusts the people around him. He’s a very complete character that not only evokes viewer’s sympathy, love and admiration, but also makes sense when taking into consideration his morals. He rarely does things that are out of character. If I were to rate just his character I’d probably give an A+.

But, there are other characters in this drama. I do like Xuanji, not as much as I like Sifeng, but I like her more than most drama leads. Despite the whole lacking six senses thing being a super confusing plot hole of sorts (like she clearly likes people in the beginning, Linglong, Minyan, her father, and dislikes people, Wu Tong, but isn’t she supposed to be unfeeling? Also she screamed out of fear when she fell using the teleport tool etc etc), I liked how she wasn’t stupid, but simply naïve. She’s actually a pretty smart person, especially in the first half of the drama, when she defended Sifeng against the Five Sects, and then Minyan after he was caught from Tianxu Tang. She didn’t let herself be manipulated by her father or Hao Chen, but rather thought for herself, took into account what she knew of their characters and came to the correct conclusion that the Five Sects were being stupid. I found myself a slight bit annoyed when she took the Five Sects side on the whole Mosha Xing issue, but given that the argument was no longer Sifeng vs. her father, but rather demons vs. humans, I can sort of understand why she didn’t trust him. Also, he did lie to her a bunch of times so, I suppose that adds to the fact. Though, she failed to use the trait that I used to really like, which was the ability to take logic and character into consideration. Did she really think that Sifeng never loved her? Because like, with all the evidence right there in her memory, I find it hard for anyone logical being to come to that conclusion. Also, I really like how she eventually became as loving of Sifeng as he was of her. She was literally willing to destroy the world, and herself, just to save him. 

As I have said before, no one likes Hao Chen, and that’s good. He’s obviously written to be a character that you should dislike, not only because he gets in the way of Sifeng and Xuanji, but because he is clearly so biased against demons (despite the fact that most demons aren’t even bad at all); because he manipulates Xuanji/God of War so many times and doesn’t even feel guilty whatsoever; because he always says “for the three realms” and yet happens to do things that will completely destroy the peace of the three realms. There are things to like about him, like I am pretty sure that he does actually care about the three realms, and he does want there to be peace, but his ideology about peace, and love, and war are just so skewed that he ends up doing the opposite of what he wants to do. 

Other characters were mostly likable, like Linglong, Zi Hu, Teng She, Minyan (most of the time), Xiao Yinhua, Ruo Yu (sometimes), Wu Zhiqi, etc etc. Some were evil for no apparent reason like Yuan Lang (why does he want to control the three worlds? What happened to him in the past for him to become this power hungry? If these questions were answered this character could be sooooo much more compelling) and Wu Tong (again, why did he start out so violent and cruel? I understand why he become a demon and helped them, but like does he not realize that it was clearly his fault first?) Also, the Heavenly Emperor seems like such an odd character. I understand he is the emperor and so he shouldn’t hold his relationship with Bailin and Xixuan above their faults, but like why was he so okay with like letting a totally faultless Xi Xuan endure several mortal trials all ending with painful deaths? And if that was because he was being a good and fair emperor, why does he let a game board decide fate? He also just stood there while the world was ending, and it took Xuanji to convince him to help her. I would like to know more about this guy and his complete lack of ability to care about anything.

So overall, while I think the main characters were written very well, with complex characteristics, some of the villains were just left tools to push forward the plot. 

Acting (My Rating - A-):

So first of all, Cheng Yi’s portrayal of Yu Sifeng was absolutely amazing. He brought out all of Sifeng’s traits super well, from shyness initially to the cruelness Mosha Xing to his loving gaze at Xuanji to the heartbreak in tragic parts. I’m pretty sure he’ll become a star after this show, and can I just say, he totally deserves it!

(Like can you see the pain in his eyes?)

I was pleasantly surprised by Yuan Bingyan here. I really like how her acting style changed along with the new role she took, as Xuanji she was bright and cheerful, as God of War she was heartless and cruel. You can see in the nine lifetimes that the way she reacts to Sifeng’s death slowly changes. Her crying scenes need a little more emotion, but overall, a super stable performance. 

Chemistry/Romance (My Rating - A):

The chemistry was just amazing. I find it interesting that their kisses slowly got more and more passionate as time went on. 

I think part of the reason they have such good chemistry is because of the acting. Like oh my god their tiny reactions to when the other gets hurt really gives it away that they love each other. 

The romance was also written nicely. While some people complain that Xuanji didn’t suffer enough, I feel like they don’t have to be equal in suffering in order for them to be a good pairing. You could tell from the very beginning that Xuanji liked Sifeng in a different way from other people. And the fact that they went through nine lifetimes together, each one when Sifeng died because of Xuanji... it just makes their romance so much more epic. Add that with good chemistry, good kisses, and good acting, well of course people love this ship so much! Xuanji would destroy the world for Sifeng, because the only person that matters in her world is Sifeng. Sifeng would put himself through ten lifetimes of torture just so Xuanji can be happy, because so long as Xuanji is happy, he will be happy. 

Music (My Rating - A): this one is simple. Just listen to the soundtrack and you’ll understand my rating. I didn’t give it an A+ though, because while all the songs are great, there isn’t one in particular that I love. 

Costumes (My Rating - A-): Sifeng’s costumes are really pretty. Some of Xuanji’s are pretty too, they get prettier as the show goes on, but some of the ones early on were kind of meh.

CGI (My Rating - A+): the best CGI in a cdrama. Just look at the scenes where Sifeng shows his wings! 

Overall Rating: A-

Recommend For: People who like xianxia dramas and dramas that try to incorporate a lot of themes. People who don’t mind their heart breaking a thousand times while watching a drama. People who want to find a couple that you have to root for. People who like super epic guzhuangs with lots of subplots, mythology, reincarnations etc. 

[barney-james]

Speechless || Sebastian Stan x Reader FLUFF IMAGINE

.returBased loosely on Speechless by Dan & Shay

The soft music drift through your apartment as you got ready for the night. Your best friend since childhood, Sebastian, has invited you to his most recent movie premiere for Endings, Beginnings. This is the first premiere he’s invited you to, so it came as a surprise. Ever since you were teenagers, you have had a crush on Sebastian, but you’ve always hidden your feelings, not wanting to ruin your friendship. You’d become pretty good at it. You’d only let your true emotions show when you were alone. And knowing that this movie is one that he portrays a character with a very intimate relationship with the lead, you can’t help but dread the premiere just a little. Every time you see him with someone else, your heart tears into tiny pieces, and you lose an equally tiny piece of your composure in hiding your feelings. You could never tell him, fear of rejection, losing one of the only people you have. So you did your best to distract that part of your mind, but none of the guys you ever got with lasted, no feelings ever developed, much less to the stage of love you hold for your best friend.

You hear a harsh knock at your front door, a knock you know to belong to Sebastian. You take a deep breath, look yourself in the eyes through the mirror, and give yourself a quick pep-talk. “You’re okay,” you mutter to yourself. “You can do this. It’s just a premiere. Don’t get jealous, he’s not yours. You don’t want to lose him so don’t act out.” Just the usual pep-talk you give yourself every time you’re about to see him. You run your hand through your loose curls one more time before grabbing your phone and texting him to come in, telling him you’ll be out in five. You do one more once over, slip on your stilettos and spray a pump of your favorite perfume. You turn the music off and open the door, revealing to you your best friend in a slick black suit and a grey trench coat.

As soon as you had walked out of your room, and his eyes landed on you, Sebastian was dumb-struck. He had known he’d be a mess the moment he saw you. In his eyes, you had always been the most beautiful woman, whether in sweat pants and a bare face, or dressed up. You always left him speechless, but you never seemed to notice his reaction, even though it was certainly nothing new. The way your black dress hugs your figure and accentuates your waist line, and the deep cut v-neck exposes just enough cleavage, his mouth is almost watering. He licks his lips as he steps inside your apartment. Evidently, you had been stress cleaning before you got ready, as your main living area is practically sparkling.

{Not great at describing dresses, this is it^^}

Sebastian stuffs his clammy hands into his jacket pockets, trying to calm his own nerves. He had lost count of the years he’s loved you. Unbeknownst to the both of you, you had hidden your feelings from each other for the same reasons. Sebastian was slowly building up his nerve to tell you since he was continuously struggling to get you off his mind and not tell you how he feels. He could tell tonight was going to be exceptionally hard. 

He watched as you bent down to the coffee table and picked up your purse, depositing your phone and wallet into it. Once everything was secure within it, you turned back to Seb as you threw the strap over your shoulder. 

You give him your biggest smile, loving to see him so dressed up and presenting his work. “You ready?” you ask him. 

He returns the smile and holds out his arm for you to grab, which you do so laughing. 

He clears his throat, speaking his first voice of the evening. “Did you want to grab dinner before we head over to the theater? My treat,” he looks down at you with a sweet smile. 

“Sounds good to me,” you return. “But you know I’m paying for myself.”

Sebastian gives a hearty chuckles and puts his free hand over yours on his arm, squeezing your hand slightly. “Not gonna happen, doll,” he sasses. It takes him a moment to realize what he had just said, what he had just called you. He didn’t usually call you pet names, but instead the nickname he has dedicated to you. He brushes it off eternally, seemingly unresponsive. You had notice the tag as soon as it had passed his lips, causing your breath to involuntarily hitch in your throat, but you play it off as a cough. 

Sebastian helps you into his car. The ride to the restaurant is mostly quiet. The radio is on low volume as he drives, and your fingers tap at your phone screen. You were both uncharacteristically nonverbal, not going unnoticed by either of you, and setting off the tone of the evening. Dinner was practically the same, with a bit more conversation and laughing like your used to. The mood lightens as things return to normal. You playfully banter over the bill, but he gives the waiter his card and sends him away before you could even get yours out. 

The car ride to the premiere was the same as the one before, awkwardly stiff. Your toes tap against the floor of the passenger seat, trying to think straight. It was surely nothing. He was just nervous for his premiere, tired maybe. He was trying to calm his psyche in the same way. You were surely only off because you’d never been to a movie premiere before. He remembers how nerve wracking it can be.

Once arriving at the venue, Sebastian rushes around to open the passenger door and offers a hand to help you out of the car. You walk with your arms intertwined as you had when he escorted you from your apartment to his car. The roaring noise of the fans and paparazzi hurt your ears as you stepped onto the carpet with him. You slowly made your way down the walk with him, stopping every few strides for more pictures. He would wrap his arm around your waist and smile to the camera. Just a pose of course. But you could swear you caught him out of the corner of your eye looking down at you and biting his lip. You brushed it off. You didn’t see it directly, your mind was probably just playing tricks on you to throw you off. 

About halfway down the walk, Sebastian met up with his costars, and posed for several pictures with them, laughing and having a good time. He seemed looser than he had all night, but he was only trying to act unfazed in front of his friends and the press. You noticed as he was taking pictures with Jamie and Shailene that his hand rested low on her waist and lingered for a moment after. When he came back to you, you showed no sign of having noticed or cared, playing it as smoothly as you could and always do.

He looked you in your beautiful eyes, and his pale blue orbs knocked the air out of your lungs. For a moment, the look in your eyes matches his feelings towards you. Knowing he’s most likely just imagining it, he still can’t help but feel like you can read his mind, and wonder if that’s why you’d seemed off the whole evening. 

As he reverts his eyes from your gaze and walks down the carpet, you can’t stop yourself, and your hand grabs his wrist, stopping his from going any further. 

Your brain had shut off, and your heart was now controlling your mouth and actions. “Seb,” you say softly. “What’s going on? You’ve been acting weird all night. I know I haven’t been acting much better I just --” you cut yourself off, looking back into his eyes, trying to find some kind of reaction. He stares at you with a blank expression for a moment, before he lets his own heart take over. 

His hands come up and gently cradle your face. He unmasks his eyes, letting his adoration for you show through. “I love you, Y/n,” he says simply before leaning down slightly and pulling your lips to his. 

Shocked, you take a moment to kiss him back, but eventually your fingers find the hair at the nape of his neck and you pull him impossibly closer. You’re both aware of the gasps, hollers, and flashing cameras behind you, but neither of you care enough to stop.

When the kiss parts, he leans his forehead against yours.

“Seb,” you whisper. 

“Y/n,” he begins. “I’ve always loved you, and I always will. I’m stupid for not acting on it before now. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known in every way possible, and just staring at you standing there in that dress, I couldn’t control myself anymore. I’m done being a coward. I love you, Y/n.”

“Me too,” you say barely audibly. “I love you, too, Seb.”

His smile breaks into a ridiculous grin like a child who just got a puppy on Christmas morning. He reconnects your lips, putting all the love in his heart into the kiss. He thinks to himself, maybe this was the perfect time to tell you. It worked out well, and not there’ll be plenty of pictures so he can reminisce on the happiest moment of his life thus far as many times as he want.  

--

I couldn’t stop listening to the song and absolutely had to write something based on it with Seba. Also yay! Posting two nights in a row.

Not proof read.

[kevindayprotectionsquad]

as someone who loves neil and andrew i do not hate aaron at all i'm new to the fandom and only just got the books. i'm still on the first book. but why do so many people hate aaron? all the characters have their flaws all the characters have their good parts that's what make them all human. so i guess what i'm asking is why does aaron get so much hate? it seems unjustified and cruel. no ones perfect. thanks for reading all this! have a good weekend

I’m going to try to answer this without being too controversial, and without being too spoilery since you haven’t read the entire series. This is something that has low key bothered me about the aftg fandom for a while, and sometimes I scream into the void about it. These are just some observations and opinions I’ve made over time. This is by no means directed towards any certain person or blog, y’all are obviously allowed to think and process the books however y’all want. That’s what makes books so fun.

Don’t get me wrong, I also love Andrew and Neil. I was cheering them on when I read the series the first time, and I loved catching little hints I missed the first time when I reread. I enjoy the majority of the content about them on here. I think they’re story is interesting. However, that doesn’t mean I excuse or condone some of their actions. I’ll get deeper into that in a second.

The reason I think people dislike/hate Aaron so much is because of two canon things that I’ve connected to what people are saying about Aaron. One being his reactions to Nicky at times, and two being a scene in the Kings Men (I’ll try to be as spoiler free for you since you haven’t gotten to it yet). These get him labeled and reduced down to a homophobic asshole. Here’s where I think it’s gets controversial. I, personally (meaning if you disagree, that’s fine, I totally understand and see your point), don’t think Aaron is homophobic. Here’s why : Almost immediately into meeting Nicky, it’s obvious he’s meant to be the flamboyant gay stereotype. He’s thirsting all over Neil, and making honestly inappropriate comments to and about Neil. Every time he does, Aaron has something to say like, “can you not be so disgusting”. In my mind, that’s a pretty valid thing to say, and not homophobic. Nicky is not only making Neil uncomfortable, but literally everyone else as well. Nicky is Aaron’s cousin, so I’m sure he feels a little more comfortable calling him out on his bullshit than if it was someone else. I think he would be disgusted by this display no matter what. The way I understand Aaron is that he keeps his romantic life on the down low. Not just from his teammates and family, but from everyone. He just doesn’t strike me as the one comfortable with excessive PDA. Secondly, the one I see brought up the most, and one I think is a little misunderstood, is the scene in the Kings Men (again, trying to be as vague as possible, but it may get a little spoilery) where Aaron confronts Neil. I want to say that I totally and completely understand why people don’t like this scene, and don’t like Aaron because of this scene. The reason why I think it’s misunderstood, is because it’s a very, very emotionally charged conversation. Aaron says some harsh things to Neil that are intended to be homophobic and hurtful, but I think Aaron did that on purpose to get a rise out of Neil, and figure out his true intentions were with Andrew. Aaron and Andrews relationship is so fragile as is, and then Neil is thrown into the mix messing it up more. So, Aaron rightfully doesn’t trust him. Aaron wants to protect Andrew from Neil, because in Aaron’s head, Neil is all kinds of danger. Another reason I think this, is because of Aaron’s up bringing. He didn’t have the best role models, and wasn’t taught to appropriately convey his feelings without saying hurtful things. I think this scene gets used against Aaron the most, because he says these harsh things, but the why he he said it is lost. Again, it was a super emotional conversation for him, and when tempers flair, things get said that might not be the most appropriate. That doesn’t just go for Aaron, but for literally everyone. I know I have said some hurtful things when upset, but that doesn’t make me a terrible, horrible person. I was just upset, and said whatever I could that would get a rise out of the person. And I really think that’s the case here. Another thing I’ve sort of notice about how the fandom perceives Aaron, is that he lacks sympathy or isn’t very understanding of Neil’s situation or of Neil and Andrews relationship. Aaron does not like Neil. Like at all. Which is fair. I wouldn’t either if I was in his shoes. Neil drags the entire team through some shit, and Aaron is there for it. He wants the truth of the situation, so they can figure out a solution as a team. When Neil is injured, Aaron flinches and is appalled by them. He might not out right sympathize for Neil, but he is human, and his teammate went through some shit, and he can understand and feel bad for Neil in that way. As for Neil and Andrew, Aaron’s not the biggest fan of. Mostly because he doesn’t trust who Neil is. Neil is a liar and a runaway, who is hard to trust, and is getting with his brother. So of course he’s not the biggest fan of him. Are we always fond of our siblings SOs??? No! I think people focus too much on Neil being a dude vs. Neil being a lying asshole when it comes to Aaron’s dislike for him.

Another thing that bothers me about the general aftg fandom is that they hate Aaron for being a homophobic asshole (for reasons stated above), but can pardon/forget/downsize Andrews actions. First and foremost being him carrying and pulling knives on people. I carry a knife, but I’ve never pulled it on someone, because THATS NOT NORMAL! That’s terrifying, and should not be normalized. Andrew, more than once, has pulled a knife and/or threatened people he is supposed to be close to, including Neil, Nicky, and (the one that bothers me the most) Kevin. He also says some harsh things to people/teammates, and tries to cause harm to others, all under the disguise of protecting his people. (Not to mention his over all relationship with Kevin.) It’s fine that he’s trying to protect his people, but more often than not he takes it too far. I think these thing sort of get excused, because Andrew is already a perceived psycopath, but that’s not a good enough reason as a fandom to be okay with it. This might be controversial to say, but I think in some cases (not all by any means) is the fetishization of mlm relationships in media. All of Andrews (and Neils for that matter) flaws and dangerous actions get over looked for “uwu andrew is only soft for neil and has to protect him!!!” And the actuality of their relationship gets ignored just because they’re male characters kissing. And since Aaron is a straight character who doesn’t trust/like Neil, he’s immediately bad and the enemy. When in all actuality, I don’t think Aaron has a issue with Andrew being gay, his issue is Andrew choosing Neil.

So, in summary, is Aaron an asshole? Yes. Absolutely. BUT so are Andrew, Neil, Nicky, and Kevin. Is it fair Aaron gets more hate than the others? Not in my opinion!

[lenalikesboots]

Bootleg Review n°1

So I watched this bootleg video yesterday and I must say...I’m impressed,

From what I know, this is the oldest video out there of the West End production of Love Never Dies. It’s completely pre-changes - it uses the soundtrack from the original album.

The leads are played by  Ramin Karimloo (as Erik), Sierra Boggess (as Christine), Joseph Millson (as Raoul), Summer Strallen (as Meg), Liz Robertson (As Mme. Giry), Richard Linnell (as Gustav)

What really bothered me at first is that it’s missing about 25 minutes from Act 1. Everything in between Till I Hear You Sing and Mother Please I’m Scared is missing. The bootleg is otherwise complete. There is some washout in bright lights and the camera strays at times from the action, and there’s a  bar that blocks some of the actors, but otherwise, this is a very a decent bootleg. 

I liked seeing the scenes that they cut off in the Australian production. I thought it was interesting. 

The Coney Island Walz is instrumental only, and it serves as kind of an Overture thing, in which, just like in Phantom, they take you back in time and set the whole setting of the show.

It goes all the way back to opening night of Phantasma. 

In the beginning, there are people chattering about the new amusement park, wanting to go in. 

After that, we get to see the whole only-for-him; only-for-you thing, which I thought was cool.

Also- Although I do think that it’s possible Meg has developed the hots for Erik,this Meg seems to just want a promotion. She’s in love with her career, not with her boss. I genuinely like that!

In Summer’s portrayal, Meg seems to be giving 110%, and wants nothing more than to be noticed and have her work appreciated. Of course it’s a blow for her when her mother told her that her boss didn’t care enough to show up. It’d be a blow for anyone, really, because it means your work is alright, but still not outstanding. What’s next, he doesn’t even know her name? Calls her Meghan, instead of Meg? 

Anyways- it’s safe to say, I like Summer’s portrayal of Meg a lot!

Next we move on to Till I Hear You Sing! I absolutely loved the way Ramin sang it for this performance!

It was absolutely breathtaking!

I’ve had chills so many times listening to him sing it, like damn!

Unfortunately, the recording stops right after that and picks back up at Mother Please I’m Scared, where it’s really mostly audio and you can’t really see a thing. 

I must say, I liked this Dear Old Friend! I liked how this time, Meg didn’t sound judgemental of the fact that Christine stopped singing to become a full-time wife and mother.

And I liked how instead of sounding bitter, Meg sounds rather confused when Christine said she was going to sing. 

Moving on- in the middle of Dear Old Friend, Gustav runs off. 

Obviously, he goes to see Erik. 

And here we come to the first thing I didn[’t like about the show: Ramin’s Erik is really cold and mean towards Gustav in this performance particularly. I know that it’s only because he believes him to be Raoul’s son but come on- even if Raoul were Gustav’s father, it’s not the child’s fault! You can’t choose your own parents goddamn it!

I liked Beauty Underneath...kind of...idk,. I generally don’t like the vibe this song gives me. 

I liked the whole “wow! You and I think the same!” idea, but the way they carried it out was bordering on genuinely creepy.

Next up! Erik takes his mask off and...fucks everything up. Kid runs away. 

I liked Christine’s reaction to all of this. I liked how she asks Madame Giry to take him away and how she apologises to Erik for her child’s reaction. 

And here we come to another of the things I didn’t like about Ramin’s portrayal of the character...Repeat after me: You do NOT strangle the woman you thought could possibly have bore your child. You. Do. NOT. 

And you do not tighten your grip when she accuses you of abandoning her- especially if you DID abandon her! Dammit Ramin! Why so angry?

Good thing that he releases her- HOWEVER...

Why so angry Ramin??? Damn!!!

Then she tries to kiss him (which I must admit- was out of nowhere) and he pulls away, still looking super angry.

 I get it-he feels awful that not even his own son can accept him the way he is. I get it. 

BUT...why take it all out on Christine?

Poor girl already had to go through enough because of him. 

Moving on: there are a few other things I didn’t like...but this time, I won’t put the blame just on Ramin.

Number one: when he uncovers his face, Christine turns away. Isn’t that kind of contradicting the whole idea behind “This haunted face holds no horror for me now”?

I understand that his face may not be the prettiest sight, and I understand that she was kinda shocked-after all she hasn’t seen it in 10,almost 11 years. Buuuut she didn’t have to full on turn away.. I thought that directing/acting choice was a little over the top. 

And number two: after Christine leaves, Erik is left all alone to think about what just happens. He seems to be a really proud dad at first...but then there is one line that really threw me off, considering what happens in the next act. “If it’s true, I’ve no reason to live” 

Uhm...dude?? If you’re planning to kill yourself, why the hell would you make a bet, which would be forcing your baby-mama and your kid to stay in America if you’d win it (and you already know you will) ?

And if he suddenly had a change of heart before that, why didn’t we get to see any of that happen? What motivated him? What made him change his mind?

Did Christine maybe ask him to make that bet? It wouldn’t be a surprise if she did....

And I am not saying this to hate on Raoul! I absolutely love Raoul and pity him greatly in Love Never Dies. He’s not an abusive monster. He’s sick! Not only is he suffering from an addiction, but he also seems to be suffering from depression.

He blames himself for all of Christine’s suffering- although, he had nothing to do with it. It all goes back to Erik leaving her, creating a vicious cycle. Christine then marries Raoul just so she wouldn’t be shunned for having a child out of wedlock. She’s obviously unhappy in her marriage, which ends up making Raoul unhappy, so he ends up drinking his sorrows away. In the end, he blames himself for the fact that Christine is unhappy. 

This is what I got from Why Does She Love Me?

Quite obviously, she doesn’t. 

He thinks she does, because she says so, but she is obviously unhappy in her marriage because she doesn’t. However, Raoul takes her sadness to mean that he is the one who is not good enough. He is the one making her unhappy. He is the one unworthy of love.

It breaks my heart that after everything he’s done for her, he ended up feeling so damn bad about himself. None of this is his fault.

 Then, in walks our second unappreciated character: Meg. There are a lot of parallels in between these two. I feel like they’re both going through the same pain, although in very different ways. 

When I watched LND for the first time, I thought this would be the start of a brand new love story, one that would steal the show, and inevitably, our hearts.

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. 

When Meg leaves, Raoul starts talking shit about Erik, only for him to end up showing up behind the bar. Talk of the devil, they say...

Over all, I think this scene is a really funny one- probably a fun one to rehearse and perform as well. 

But the whole idea behind it...Guys, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but...Christine is a human being..She’s not property...Let her make her own damn choices for once, she never ever got to do that in her life. 

I hate how Erik starts objectifying Christine in Love Never Dies. He didn’t do it in the original, why start now?

Moving on to the next day:

Bathing Beauty is so damn catchy! Like damn!!

I love how Meg arrives in a hot air balloon. 

I liked this randition of Summer’s Bathing Beauty. I couldn’t see much of it and I couldn’t see the bathing suits either, but the whole scene was really nice. 

I felt so bad for Meg in the next scene though!

Madame Giry was waaay too harsh with her. 

Next scene is Christine’s dressing room scene.

I love how conflicted and anguished Sierra portrays her to be. And I love the contrast between the way she acts around Raoul and the way she acts around Erik. Around Raoul, she’s really sweet, like a good wife should be and she is also quite affectionate. 

But around Erik...

I think this picture speaks for itself...

By the way: The way she doesn’t question why Raoul asked her not to sing, and the way she gets all conflicted later, makes me think that she knows about the bet, but is starting to have second thoughts about it. Which is completely understandable. As a wife, her first priority is her marriage, which they could, possibly work out.

And as a mother, she has to put her son and what would be best for him first too. She can’t just force him to accept a new guy as his father- even if he is indeed his biological father. So all that anguish she’s feeling? Completely understandable. 

You can see from her body language, even when she’s singing, that she is having second thoughts. That this is really hard for her and that she doesn’t know what to do. There is so much pressure on her, the poor girl is close to breaking down on stage, in front of thousands of people.

But then Raoul leaves...And everything in her body language changes. She becomes more confident, more content with her decision. For once, she put herself first. She realizes that she will finally get to be happy. 

She, Erik and their child...

I love how happy and hopeful she looks in the next scene as well!

It’s sad that they don’t kiss in this scene, but oh well...We move...

Another thing that made me believe that Christine knew about the bet was how unbothered she seemed by the fact that Raoul left. She wasn’t shocked. She knew this was going to happen. She didn’t want it to happen like that, but it did. 

And then when she realizes that Gustav is missing, she nearly gets a heart attack, 

I absolutely LOVE Erik’s reaction to the whole thing! I love how worried and angry he got! See, this is one of those times I do appreciate his anger. 

Moving on to the next scene:

One thing I didn’t like about it was how close Erik got to Meg when he told her “We can’t all be like Christine”.

That line is such a bad thing to say when trying to comfort someone who’s having a mental breakdown...

Meg has been working for him for ten years. She has helped him so damn much, and she doesn’t even get a thank you, or a decent. No, she only ever gets all these dumb vaudeville numbers, making her a showgirl, not a respected performer. 

While Christine, who has only been in town for two days, and hasn’t been performing for a couple of years, immediately gets the aria, the nice dress and the beautiful jewelry. 

And then, he has to point out how perfect she is, in front of Meg, who then, when she just wants to talk back to him, ends up accidentally pulling the trigger. And you can tell this was clearly an accident in this performance. She even runs off to get help, only to later return, probably with a doctor on the way, when Christine is already gone (maybe. nobody checked her pulse or her breathing, and the bullet didn’t hit an important artery. She might still be alive)

I loved Erik and Christine’s last kiss. It was so sweet, so passionate. I love how he kept kissing her even after she let go.

However...I didn’t like the way Ramin portrayed his reaction to her death. I understand that the feeling he was going for was numbness, but it literally ended up looking like he didn’t even care that much. For someone who’s never seen Phantom before (maybe just read the book) , who ends up watching this recording, this is the vibe you would get from it. 

I love the fact that Meg came back and that she is holding Christine’s body. You can tell just how sorry she is. 

I loved the whole unmasking scene. I loved how Erik slowly started opening up to Gustav, when he was finally ready to accept him. And I loved the hug in the end.

And I must say: Erik is getting better at hugging. That’s good!

All in all: I really liked this recording of the show. 

If I were to grade it, I’d give it a 7,5/10.

 Before I end this post, can we please appreciate just how gorgeous that dress is? Like damn!!!

Sierra looks absolutely stunning in it as well!

(When does she not look stunning though?)