#but it makes it really difficult
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I am in therapy over dirty dishes bro 💀💀💀
for the love of god, do not use chores to punish your kids!!!! it's just going to make them struggle deeply to keep their houses tidy as adults since you made them associate necessary chores with punishment and suffering, and it's going to take years of therapy to undo. don't use chores as punishments!!!
#thanks dad#i need more therapy#i have ocd tho#and am like extremely cleanly#but it makes it really difficult#a lot of ex friends used my ocd to get free cleaning#bc they know cleanliness makes me anxious#and that if i see a mess i HAVE to clean#if I use someone’s toilet#i have to clean#if i use the shower I HAVEE to CLEAN IT#and if my house is slightly messy I HAVE to clean it#because i keep expecting him to come through my door and scream at me#even though this is year 3 nc#lol
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au where everything is the same except mabel and dipper have been going to gravity falls every year before the show takes place since like kindergarten.
its a pretty simple premise that derives mostly from my desire to explore interpersonal relationships and the ways a place and people can change from a young child’s point of view. it doesn’t change canon that much either, admittedly, i just wanted to draw childhood friends stuff LOL. ill call it uhhhhhhhh every summer au.
#every summer au#gravity falls#stanley pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#stan pines#grenda grendinator#candy chiu#pacifica northwest#gabuart#pacifica eventually stops being their friend and it makes mabel really sad but it just makes dipper really angry#gestures vaguely#people change. relationships change. every summer becomes a shadow of the last summer#gravity falls is the same but the people within it become more different every time we come#growing up is difficult#and frustrating#nothing makes sense#but at least we have each other#everything is going to be okay
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ALL OF THEM!
added the few more cards I wanted and slightly modified the first ones so they could match better :3
#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl fanart#cotl goat#cotl narinder#cotl leshy#cotl heket#cotl kallamar#cotl shamura#cotl lamb#cotl mystic seller#cotl tarot cards#repulsiveart#ngl the research I did for this was what took the most effort#I really wanted to make the characters fit the cards as much as possible#I think the most difficult to match was shamura as I really wanted to keep the inverted meanings for the bishops consistent but alas#they fit the whole destiny thing better if upright#also ended up being my fav design jksjsks
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EMOTIONAL WIN ! ! the bug lets his emotions make decisions for once !
#when ur bug has rsd#mf needs affirmations after everything man#ppl expect a mystery fantasy drama but its gonna end up being a story abt learning how to experience being yourself#a whole story just about experiencing emotions and how amazing and beautiful that can be#( with a side serving of heavily autistic experiences)#get praaaaankeed#i really dont get kissing but here it sorta made sense i think#kissing with mandibles must be a bit difficult#shoutout to unhinged jaw#chasing stars au#adventure time#fionna and cake#adventure time au#Sīdus the Fallen star#prismo the wishmaster#the carmine cavalier#scarab the god auditor#prohibitedwish#this technically has a part 1 but i didnt line it or anything- i may add it onto this later if i feel like it#Sīdus is the one to usually instigate stuff but he makes sure Carma is the one to go further#kinda just letting him know that hes there for him but no matter what he gets to choose what hes comfortable with-#when hes in such an unfamiliar situation
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got an urge to design ponies oops
#If people like this I'll do the rest of the life cast... No cutiemarks though cause Im really bad at those#geminitay fanart#pearlescentmoon fanart#jimmy solidarity#martyn inthelittlewood#scott smajor fanart#zombiecleo fanart#bdubs fanart#ethoslab fanart#impulse fanart#joel smallishbeans#he was difficult lol. I tried all sorts of green + brown (sometimes borderline red) colors but none felt quite right#so I just. made both the body and hair both green and brown. I think theres definitely a better design to be had here but I did my best#ldshadowlady fanart#Impulse ofc mostly inspired from that one skin where he has a beard#seeing people do fan designs for lifers is the only thing that gave me the urge to draw this#I wanted to see how much the colors could be played around with without making the ponies unrecognizable#and also like. pleasant to the eye. Again as if they could fit into the show itself#there arent a lot of skin toned ponies walking around equestria for a reason... it's uncanny unfortunately#that often makes fan ponies all follow the exact scame scheme of light body + dark hair#they get really indistinguishable so go wild!!!! mix things up!!!#sorry Im passionate about animal character design and ponies#tubby art
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Listen to me Suzanne Collins did not have to give Katniss and Peeta a history before the games. She did NOT have to do that. She could have just had their story begin when Peeta's name was called. She could have had them be total strangers until the moment of the reaping.
Like: "And the boy tribute is... Peeta Mellark!" Katniss: Who's that? Or she could have made them vaguely familiar with each other! Peeta's name is called and Katniss just thinks, Oh, I know that name! He's in my class, actually. Poor boy... Anyway!
Either way, SC could have written the rest of the story exactly the same! I think many authors would have done that! Because if Peeta's purpose in the book was to be Gale's competition, to be one of the 3 corners of a love triangle, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE WAY TO DO IT!! But that's NOT how she did it because that's NOT what Peeta is.
And what is he? To Katniss, Peeta's someone who saved her and her family and received nothing in return except a beating. Peeta's someone she has had her eye on but has never worked up the courage to talk to. Peeta's someone she associates with kindness and hope. And all this before the start of the events of the book! Just because WE, the READERS, met Gale before Peeta and immediately felt a connection with him does NOT mean that was Katniss's experience! And that's what SC is trying to tell us!
To dismiss Katniss and Peeta's past as unimportant or inconsequential compared to whatever Katniss and Gale have in the present is to fundamentally misunderstand Katniss as a character and, as a result, condemn oneself to never fully understand the choices she makes in the future.
Suzanne Collins wrote it that way on purpose because she had something to say. And no one will ever be able to convince me that something wasn't "It was always going to be Peeta".
#thg#everlark#peeta mellark#katniss everdeen#the hunger games#sorry i hope this one's not too harsh#i just has to let it out lol#I'm not saying people only like gale because they misunderstand SC's writing#obviously everyone has preferences and that's great snd normal#but SC wrote Katniss to have preferences too?#and those preferences are pretty subtle at times I'll admit#but sometimes they're so glaringly obvious#i struggle to empathize with people who don't understand these books and honestly that's a me problem#but it really is difficult when people seem to hate Katniss because she didn't make THEIR choices#okay rant over
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Been thinking about how Bill legitimately had a horrifying reason (the literal progressive disintegration of the nightmare realm that erases whatever it disintegrates from existence completely) to move himself and his crew into a new dimension. Like that's terrifying. And yet he never utilizes this to his favour. He could have been honest about this with Ford, and you KNOW as long as Bill didn't mention plans of overtaking the earth, Ford would've made the portal for him, both out of Ford's own interest and because Ford when faced with these big moral questions will pull through. But this is a card Bill NEVER plays because although he needs to leave the dimension, he cannot lose face. He can't put aside his pride and admit to the humility that he needs to flee from his dimension, that he's not actually all powerful. And so instead he pretends to be a muse and when Ford figures out something else is going on, instead of being open and humble and saying that his dimension is unravelling, Bill focuses on that he's going to over take earth, that he's actually been a monster all along, surprise Ford!
And part of it is definitely because Bill's built himself up on power and violence and to grovel and earnestly ask for help, to admit that he cannot stop the unraveling of his dimension completely invalidates that; showing vulnerability? Can't do that, even under the guise of lying to get his way. And part of it makes you wonder if it's also a form of self-sabotage, because underneath his deep denial Bill is guilty over what he occurred; he sees himself as a monster and so he'll be that monster, and having people recognize that feels good in the same way that pressing a bruise feels good. But it makes you wonder what would've happened if Bill even just was open about his dimension unravelling and had lied about overtaking the earth.
It's also interesting because although Bill has SOME charisma and can manipulate people decently well (as evidenced by his cult, and pandering to people's desires with Ford, Mabel and Blendin), he refuses to be vulnerable, refuses to not be true to his off-putting self, even when if he was just vulnerable of pretended to not be himself, to put aside the (false) pride he has in himself he would've gotten a portal by now. and part of me wonders if it's because it's this false pride that built on insecurity and denial on who he is he cannot drop that mask.
Further thoughts on this!
#hugin rambles#hugin rambles gf#uhhhh yeah anyways Bills a delightfully complex character#and I think thats why also Bill fell hard for Ford is because Ford was vulnerable with Bill and actually CARED for Bill and got to peer#into the vulnerable bits of Bill and cared for him#but yeah fascinating. rotating him in my head whooo#bill cipher#billford#the book of bill#TBOB#gravity falls#but seriously the idea of Bill becoming honest with Ford instead of being like HAHA I TRICKED YOU bounces around the ol noodle with vigor#like dude thats a HUGELY typical self sabotage thing. like why YES im what people think i am.#hes interesting because hes good at manipulation. but also at the same time bad at it because he refuses to not be himself.#which... yanno i can respect. truth to being yourself even if thats offputting and annoying. but certainly makes it more difficult#re: manipulation. and then there was ford who was just. really into Bill in entirety#congrats! you guys match each others freak and toxic neediness to the t#gravity falls meta
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SAILOR MOON S: Episode 18 - 「芸術は愛の爆発!ちびうさの初恋」
#animeedit#sailor moon#sailormoonedit#oldanimeedit#harumichi#haruka x michiru#smedit#wlwedit#haruka tenoh#kaioh michiru#ep 107#bssm#bssmedit#pretty guardian sailor moon#bishojo senshi sailor moon#sailor neptune#sailor uranus#michiru kaioh#tenoh haruka#HI YES THIS BLOG IS ALIVE im trying to juggle trying to make gifs for this sideblog and the other fandom one lol#i had to change some of the translation bc the context was slightly wrong...#japanese is such a hard language to translate into english sometimes#also coloring anime is so difficult sometimes im really not used to it#especially old anime haha
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lil columbo sticker design i made for my etsy :) i'm not sure what the market is for columbo merch but if the demand is high enough i'd like to make an enamel pin in the future!
#columbo#lt columbo#sticker#art#illustration#peter falk#1970s#retro#if you'd like a pin please consider picking up a sticker! pins are a huge investment with a large minimum order quantity so#i can't just make them on a whim yknow. but also i reeeaaallly really want a tiny columbo for my hat lol#i think i struck a good balance between 'making him small enough proportion-wise for a sticker' and 'not really making him look#chibi or anything'. which is difficult dhjbdbjhsf#hes a little guy but he also has lil guy energy. so it just Works#i want to draw more of that crossover but i should be saving my comic/writing energy for my actual comic but also i have a shop to run and#other responsibilities and actually i need to be able to clone myself
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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for what it's worth I personally don't believe spite had anything to do with the pantry near-kiss experience at all. I think that was a 100% lucanis naturel disaster no supernatural additives present or indeed required. at most spite was watching that whole situation go down with mild puzzlement about approximately every part of it, I don't think he'd have much interest in it one way or the other. the explanation seems much more mundane and grounded and in some ways much sadder to me.
if your nervous system has never been in a place where any surge of emotion, even -- in fact sometimes especially! -- a good and exciting one makes you feel like your soul just touched a hot stove it can't get away from, then sincerely, from the bottom of my heart and without a trace of snark, thank goodness and I hope you never experience it. For the rest of you... fistbump of solidarity it's rough out here but *grits teeth* we stay silly etc. In the place lucanis is in during that part of the game, feeling like you're losing control (again even for ostensibly good happy reasons) can feel an awful lot like you're dying, or worse. on top of everything else going on for him -- again going only with non-supernatural elements and not even comprehensive: a year of non-stop horrific trauma added to pile of previous mountain of childhood and attachment trauma. chronic sleep deprivation. apparently dead grandma doubling as mother figure. cousin-brother aggressively fucking around and in real danger of finding out. fucked up the ONE thing he thought he knew how to do that's been the central pillar of his identity. the world might be ending even more than it already was because of it. keeps faceplanting with barely any dignity and having to get up again with alarming regularity GOD how could I ever not save treviso this man desperately needs a W (just one!!) like few people in the history of the world have before him. he's more caffeine than man because the alternative feels worse. it's bad in here. and ON TOP of all that he's in the process of falling just. appallingly soul-shrivingly in love, which can notably be playing on hard mode even when you're in a mostly functional place, that shit routinely rocks people to the core under the best of circumstances.
so I'm not surprised it's too overwhelming for him to handle when he tries to throw himself in head first -- in fact I'd have been more surprised if it weren't lol. he clearly wants it so much, which only makes it so much more painful that he can't actually bear to touch it when it's offered to him freely and eagerly. this is the tantalus-level awfulness of this kind of attachment trauma; food seems to be right there, you can see it, almost smell it sometimes, but no matter what you just can't seem to reach it. seemingly not for any flaw in the existence of the food, but because of something broken in you that can't or can't bear to actually eat. his deliberate flirting routine is kind of deeply dorky tbh lol (in the most endearing way possible let's be perfectly clear) and I don't think it's entirely natural to him -- that's a hastily cobbled together 'oh god I am getting the vibes here it is happening for some reason they like me for my personality quick what would illario do' approach if ever I saw it, supported by the fact that it never really makes a return after this --
BUT I do think his obvious near-unbearable delight with rook's existence and person that shines through in that scene is entirely real and unfeigned. he likes them so much. he wants so bad to be able to be close to them. he's so hungry for the reprieve and release and relief they represent to him, just for one moment, just one break from all the awfulness to have something uncomplicatedly good. and it's here, it's been offered, he's welcome!!! and he has to flinch away at the last minute anyway because he's an exposed nerve of a human being. there's a point at which every sensation including joy becomes indistinguishable from agony. he's pretty much exactly at that point. for the love of god have some mercy on him people. the feeling that salvation is right here but you're too broken a vessel to hold it is one I wouldn't wish on anyone. let him have a few moments to stare into the void before he's ready to get back up and try again surely we all deserve at least that much lol
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#this is literally just me ranting about the feelings he evokes in me and not really directed at anyone I just. I Feel. things#in case you can't tell. I'm the lucanis. him is me. we be like this. this all makes the too much kind of perfect sense to me#it's odd in narrative structure but it's uh. uncomfortably real in some ways. freeze is difficult to describe in conventional narrative#it's a bad time to have in a bad place. but very decent company to be in I must say I love him. so much#also I think we might have exposed some of the basic garrusness going on here haha (just one thing please just one good thing)#and how much getting there hinges on feeling completely safe in that relationship. anyway. everyone ok. I'm not but someone should be
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#something about zac playing sneaky little guys#its excellent#also sorry for the terrible colouring the purple background makes gifs really difficult to colour correct#d20#dimension 20#brennan lee mulligan#zac oyama#neverafter
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Gourmand why are you like this. How can you make living things out of the blue fruit you ate 3 minutes ago. How do you make a living breathing fucking snail? You can't even eat it, and yet you can spit it out, how the hell does that work? Put that thing back!!! Why is it alive??
And how can you make a goddamn neuron from an overseer and. What was this.... Hold on
AND KARMA FLOWER. And how can you make an overseer from neuron+ANYTHING!!!!! FROM ANYTHING!!!!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!
#/lh#does anyone have any headcanons on how gourmand can do this? how they can make octopuses noodleflies and so on?#because i have a very difficult time explaining this#i know its just a gameplay mechanic and you dont need to overthink it but i dont care#rw#akso the grey scug is nightcat but i still havent really thought about their design yet so i just gave them green stars. thatll do#pmpwbrrs#rain world#okay ill put th main tags#rw gourmand#rw nightcat#emetophobia#emetophobia tw
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writing about neil josten is so hard because he’s such a multidimensional character. there you have a man who has no problem being a murderer but is terrified of being a monster. a man who finds others’ humanity interesting as a foreign concept and simultaneously crumbles at a kind touch. a man who made peace with death yet fights so violently to survive. a man who is still almost a kid even though he never really had a chance to be one. how am I supposed to accurately portray a man who’s been everywhere and seen everything yet still knows so little?
#and that's not even mentioning all his other personalities lmao#trying to write fanfics and slowly losing my sanity#I really don’t want to mischaracterise him but he’s making it so damn difficult#neil josten#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#ao3#kiwiaok
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Gore, Violence and Blood under the cut
What a mess
#fop nature au#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop#dale dimmadome#Flowers OC#candy gore#gore#blood#body horror#this really is a mess on so many levels#I wanted to make this situation as difficult as possible for the fairy council to theoretically clear up#everything from the animal to the location to the injury is a nightmare to try and explain#And theres a reason I spent so much time showing the gore getting on his injury. Mans gonna have a rainbow bitemark on his leg forever now#Not exactly easy to explain away#Also I think I accidentally established that Magic was a little toxic so he might have minor blood poisoning lol#Im sure he'll be fine#This is how all gay people are made but the fairies make you forget it#Actually while scripting this I realized how much this looked like the set up for some kind were-deer or were-fairy(??) plotline#which was not the intention but would be a hilarious direction to take the plot in LMAO#Also Id like to mention that flowers is fine. Fairies are functionally immortal aside from magic backup#Itll be healed up like nothing happened it no time#that being said it is still kinda pissed about the skull smashing#Dales got multiple broken ribs plush his leg is in shambled. Absolutely demolished#He's gonna have to get metal implants#You might think 'oh he's gonna opt to get a prosthetic leg now too'#No. Because hes a cowardly little bitch#He doesnt want to get his leg removed if its not absolutely necessary and because he's a nasty little hypocrite#Anyway this will be the start of a very nasty spiral methinks
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Dungeon Meshi: Delicious in RPG!
(Sprites + bonus art here!)
#dungeon meshi#game dev diary#laios touden#marcille donato#chilchuck tims#senshi#Walking mushroom...more like watch where you are walking mushroom! Get blasted!#This was a tech & art demo to figure out how to make more dynamic battle portraits.#Unfortunately the coding has been a lot more difficult than anticipated...We couldn't show off what we wanted to!#I still learned a ton of new things that will going to make this project look even better!#Doing these tech demos with fan art has been extremely helpful becuase I can get through my messy learning stage-#-without having to redo a ton of assets because I found out that I needed to approach things a different way.#That said: I *will* be posting Original Content for these game dev diary posts fairly soon!#This is all to help me and my game dev partner experiment with RPG maker for our own game after all B*)#I'm really excited to share this project with you all! I have many funny comics about the characters from this game to share.
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