#but it just took in so much time if you're trying to get as many stuff done as you can before you go to the final end boss

[phantomspren]

I was just going to put this in tags but I'll put it here.

This is why I'm uncomfortable when people make sweeping generalizations about conservatives/Republicans.

On a fundamental level, I do disagree with the political beliefs that lead people to holding those labels.

But at the same time, there's such a huge difference between someone who is Republican because they think that we should have lower taxes, and someone who is Republican because they think rich white men are the only people worthy of rights.

When we make those blanket statements of "every Republican is racist" or whatever, we're making it less likely that those people are going to do stuff like this. Often it leads to people doubling down on their beliefs, even if they are inherently harmful.

You also have people like my mom. She is a registered Republican, born and raised in Idaho, super super Mormon.

She's a registered Republican because she thinks that society should be built to promote the family and help families thrive.

But she also supports universal healthcare.

I tell her all the things I think are cool about Harris and Walz and she's always like "wow, yeah, that is really cool!"

She's a high school teacher and because of that now supports gun control.

She doesn't give a shit that I'm aroace. (Haven't talked about gender stuff but I'd feel pretty comfortable bringing it up at this point to be honest.)

The thing is that the public/left awareness of the Republican party has shifted, following the people who are in power. Because those in power are getting more extreme.

There are people who have always held really extreme right-wing beliefs.

There are people like many who are voting for Trump who used to be less extreme, but have followed those in positions in power in gradually making their views more extreme.

There are those like my mom and dad who have some not great but far more reasonable beliefs who feel like the Republican party no longer represent them.

It's important to talk about those problematic beliefs that people like my parents hold, but at the end of the day they are genuinely good people. They've got internalized racism and homophobia and misogyny just like everyone else, but they're still good people.

Honestly even most hardcore Trump supporters are good people. (My grandparents voted for him! They're some of the kindest people I know!)

But if we just throw everyone under the label of "Republican" and then assume that includes things like homophobe, white supremacist, etc, you're going to end up with a lot of people who don't want to get behind what you're behind.

It's so much better, in my experience, to build a report, built trust, try to genuinely understand where the other person is coming from. I've talked to my Trump voting grandparents about trans people and they listened to me. I may not have changed their minds, but they have at least seen that other side from someone they respect.

That's going to go a whole lot more good in the long run than just calling them Republican and never talking to them again.

Of course there's more nuance than this, and if someone has like genuine beliefs that. Really really not great. Dump their ass. It's not worth it. There's a difference between someone who's a white supremacist because that's what they deeply believe, and someone who's just parroting what they saw elsewhere. The later deserve time and understanding, because they have the potential to turn into the former but aren't there yet.

And of course there are people like my mom. If she took a political compass quiz it would tell her she's liberal, hands down. Still a registered Republican.

Anyways, these are thoughts I've had for a bit and maybe I'll write something later that's a bit more planned out. Hope that makes sense.

And there's just a ton of nuance here that I can't get into because I've almost hit my time limit on Tumblr and I need to go take an exam. Plus it's dumb to expect me to elaborate on every possible way this could be misinterpreted. Just assume I kinda know what I'm talking about please, unless I accidentally said something blatantly incorrect. O7

Please vote tomorrow.

Be compassionate.

Imagine those around you complexly.

Think about my mom. :p

Have a cat picture for the road.

i'm a huge fan of Republicans, conservatives or however you want to be politically labeled choosing country over party. please let me see more stories. it's a brave thing to do this. even if you voted for him in both 2016 & 2020 but you changed your mind now, WELCOME. it's a massive deal to get out of any cult successfully & MAGA is no different. being filled with anger & hatred, & fear is intoxicating & honestly easier than choosing to do the right thing. i'm glad you saw the light.

check your registration status often & don't stop talking about Project 2025. they can pretend they're distancing themselves from it as much as they want but it's absolutely their policy. we can do this though if we just show up & VOTE. we got this 💙

[kaliforniahigh]

Can I have something angsty,sad,fluffy,(smutty if you want) ?

Reader is on the thicker/chubby side (a few tummy rolls and thick thighs) and she thinks Noah is only with her to say he's been with a fat chick or it's some fetish thing. Reader doesn't understand how he can be attracted to someone like her. Normal 9-5 job, not rich, shitty apartment, shitty car...just getting though life and they met by chance. Maybe he liked that she treated him like a regular person even though she knew who he was, like a "yeah, I know who you are...so what 🙄😐🤷🏼‍♀️" kinda thing.

Not gunna lie the "never been with a big girl" shit has happened way more than I'd like...and honestly, I've been really hating my body lately 😔

Thank you so much for this request! I know it took me a long time to get to it and I'm so sorry about that! I hope you still like it <3

Warnings: reader is a little hard on herself, Noah also feels insecure. Reader is fatphobic towards herself :( Besides that, this is fluff.

WC: 5.9k (this is long and I haven't proofread it yet!)

My requests are currently closed!

Noah was back home in Virginia for a couple of weeks. He really just went because his best friend, Nicholas, had begged him to. There was nothing left for him in this place anymore, and there hasn't been for years.

Even though he had a lot of bitter memories from his time here, he really tried to enjoy the moments he spent with his old friends, reconnecting and telling each other how their lives changed over the years.

Right now, he was at a bonfire, sipping on his beer, despite the chill weather that fall brought along. He looked around and saw many faces he didn't recognize from years ago. To his left, Nicholas was socializing, and he thought about how things haven't changed that much after all. His friend was always better at this than him.

His eyes were fixed on you, like they have been a couple of times during the night. You were hard to miss, with your orange knit sweater and beanie keeping your head warm. He didn't remember seeing you before, if he had, he would surely remember it.

You talked animately with your hands, sporting smile on your face that made your eyes crinkle. If he could describe your aura, it would be warm and inviting, and he felt a pull towards you, suddenly having the urge to come up to you and stike up a conversation.

He held himself back, though, because you seemed very engrossed in the conversation you were having with your friends, and he didn't want to intrude or bother you.

"You're still brooding in the corner?", he was so distracted by you, that he didn't even notice Nicholas approaching him.

"I'm technically not in a corner", Noah pointed to the wall he was leaning against. Nicholas fixed him with a look.

"You should try and talk to a few people, at least this one time", Nicholas sounded like a mom scolding a child and it mildly irritated Noah.

"I will, once I finish this beer", he settled on saying, but deep down, they both knew that Noah would stay in this exact same spot for the rest of the night.

"Whatever, man. I'll talk to Josh over there, he said something about Eric cheating on Alex with their babysitter, and I wanna know all about that. Do you remember Alex from high school?", Noah scrambled his brain, and he could vaguely remember an Alex from high school.

"Is she the one who fell down the bleachers once?", he asked, the memory slowly coming back to him. He should feel bad that this embarrassing moment is what he remembers her by.

"That's exactly the one", Nicholas exclaimed, his hand slapping against Noah's chest. "Apparently her luck didn't get any better. I'll get the scoop and then I'll tell you on the way home", Noah smiled at his friend's antics and watched him walk away.

Averting his gaze back to the gathering happening around him, he found himself watching you again. He really needed to break his habit, otherwise you would think of him as a total creep. His stance and unapproachableness already didn't help him at all. He decided to go look around for something to eat, sure that he saw some snacks around here somewhere.

"He's leaving", your friend said beside you. You had to keep yourself from looking at him. Your friends have been annoying you for the last 15 minutes about the hot guy who apparently couldn't stop looking at you.

"Good, would you stop bothering me now?", you said.

"Y/N, you need to talk to him. Have you seen this man? He is hot and he's totally into you", Charlie said, an exciting tone on her voice.

"And you gathered all that from the few minutes we've been standing here?", you looked at her with a disbelieving look on your face.

"We've been here for at least forty minutes and he hasn't stopped looking at you!", she exclaimed, as if she had it all figured out.

"He could've been looking in the general direction, not at me", you reasoned, trying to forget the way his gaze felt on you. He couldn't have been looking at you out of all people from your group of friends.

"Y/N", Charlie sighed, the excitement vanishing from her features. "You need to stop sabotaging yourself. Why is it so impossible for a man to be interested in you?"

"I don't know, Charlie. I'm gonna go grab another drink, ok?", you did what you always do when someone brought this up in conversation, you left and didn't look back.

Is not that you thought it was impossible for this man to be interested in you, you just thought it was unlikely. You spotted him right when he walked in, his height made him impossible to ignore. And even though he was wearing a hoodie, you saw the tattoos all over his neck and hands, the latter making you incredibly flustered. You never thought you could find someone's hands so attractive.

Meanwhile, you came to this gathering right from work. Your hair was a mess and you had no option but to slap a beanie over it. Your outfit was nothing interesting, just a sweater to keep you warm in the changing weather. Thinking about it now, the color was even a little silly. Who wore orange sweaters?

You arrived at the table where the drinks were set, eyes surveying for something interesting and non-alcoholic, since you drove here. You were so engrossed with whatever was in front of you, that you almost - almost - didn't notice a presence beside you. Like you said, he was hard to miss.

"You, hmm... you need help finding something?" You heard a voice and you knew exactly who was next to you. You looked at him and the first thought that came to your mind was how tall he was compared to you.

He had to look down to meet your eyes and you had to crane your head back to look back at him.

"Oh, I'm just looking for something that's non-alcoholic", you answered him, with a little laugh, knowing that those beverages were hard to find in these places.

"Yeah, it's going to be a little difficult", he said, scratching the back of his neck and looking at the table set in front of you.

"It's ok, I kind of expected it. I'll just go look for dome water", you shrugged your shoulders.

"Wait, I think I saw some stuff in the fridge earlier. Do you want me to get it for you?", he pointed at the house behind the both of you. His eyes were hopeful, like he wanted to do this for you. You thought it was adorable the way he actually wanted you to have something else other than water, and you didn't have the heart to teel him no. So you said yes and saw him walk into the house.

While you waited, Noah was crossing his fingers that his friends had something in the fridge other than booze and stale food. Yes, he lied to you about seeing something in the fridge earlier, but he couldn't let you drink water at a party. He also didn't know where the urge to please you came from, but the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.

He made his way to the fridge and opened it, and he immediatly spotted a few cans of Red Bull. They were of different colors - probably some tropical flavor - and he hoped you liked energy drinks, otherwise, he would look like a fool in front of the girl he thought was extremely cute.

He grabbed one of them and made his way back to where you were waiting for him.

"Here, I hope you like energy drinks?", he couldn't help but let some nervousness seep into his voice.

"Thank you, and I do", you answered him, and you visibly saw some tension leave his shoulders. "This is actually perfect. I'm so tired because I came right from work. Maybe this will wake me up a little", you said as you cracked the can open.

When he heard you say that, he wanted to pat himself on the back, but settled on giving you a contained smile instead.

"So", he sensed the lull in the conversation, and since he wasn't ready to stop talking to you yet, he decided to change the topic. "Who are you here with?"

"I'm friends with Charlie, she's Josh's fiancee", you answered him. He knew that Josh had gotten engaged in the last few months. Him and Nicholas knew Joah and Charlie from high school, and both of them were surprised it took Josh this long to ask the girl to marry him. Maybe if he was better at keeping contact with his friend, he could've met you way earlier.

"I saw you talking to her earlier", he pointed out and you cursed yourself, because your friends were right. He was watching you. "How did you two meet each other?", he asked and leaned against the table. He refrained from asking you to go inside and sit on the couch.

"We went to college together a few years ago. We were roomates and clicked instantly", you told him and he did the math in his head. You were friends with Charlie for what? Nine or ten years now? Shit, he really could've me you earlier. "What about you? Haven't seen you around before", you threw the question back at him, taking a sip from the drink in your hand. He had to avert his gaze from the way your lips wrapped around the rim, which was very distracting.

"Oh, I've known Josh for years. Us and a couple of other people here went to high school together", he saw your eyes light up with this information, visibly impressed.

"Oh my God. How come have I not seen you before?", you were shocked that you never noticed this man at any of the parties Josh and Charlie usually threw.

"I moved out of here really young. I live in LA now, so it's difficult to visit", he kept the information that he was in a band to himself. He liked the way you seem to not know who he is at all.

"I think he's mentioned having friends in LA before", you mused, but didn't dwell much on the information. "I don't blame you, LA seems to be much more interesting than here"

"Yeah, a little crazy out there. Not a dull moment, that's for sure", you agreed, and he wanted to know more about you, but refrained from asking what you did for a living, afraid that you would ask him back, and he sure didn't wanna lie to you.

"I never left here, I just assume from the stories I hear", he was surprised to hear this, not for the fact that you never visited other places, but because he couldn't imagine someone spending their whole lives in this place.

"You never felt the urge to go somewhere else?", he couldn't help but ask you. You thought for a second before answering him.

"I mean, I would obviously love to travel to other places, but I don't know if I would actually move somewhere else", he hummed, and you continued. "My whole life is here, my parents are here, and I know this city like the back of my hand. I guess I like the familiarity of the place"

He could understand that. Not everyone had a traumatizing childhood and teenage years like him. He guesses he could like the place if it wasn't tied to such bad memories.

He was about to ask you something else when Charlie approached the two of you, and he noticed the knowing look on her face the second he saw it.

"Hey, you two", she said as she rested one hand on your shoulder. "We're playing a board game in the living room, and Josh wanted me to ask if any of you would like to participate"

Noah waited for you to answer first, half hoping you would say no, just so he could talk to you for a little but longer. However, what you said instead crashed his hopes of talking to you for the rest of the party.

"I would love to, but I should be heading out. I'm dead tired and really need some sleep", you had an apologetic look on your face, and when he really took the time to look at you, he did notice your slightly droopy eyes.

"Thank you for coming, I know work has been chewing your ass lately", Charlie told you, but you dismissed her with a wave of your hand.

"You know I love hanging out with you guys, so it's worth the effort", you said with sincerity in your voice and you and Charlie exchanged a hug and goodbyes.

Turning back to face him, you noticed that you didn't really want to leave, but needed to before you got even more tired. Suddenly, you realized you never got his name.

"Well, we've been talking all this time and I never asked your name", you chuckled at the absurdity of it.

"My name is Noah", he extended his hand for you to shake. "What's yours?"

You took his hand in yours, noticing the way it entirely encompassed yours. You observed the details on the tattoos he had on his knuckles and hands, and you wondered once again if they continued up his arms and shoulders. "I'm Y/N"

"Well, Y/N, it's been a pleasure talking to you", he gave you soft smile and you wanted to get lost in his eyes and the way he was looking at you right now. As if you were the greatest thing that's happened to him the entire week. Little did you know.

"The feeling is mutual" you smiled back at him, having to let go of his hand, as to not turn this into those too long handshakes. "I should get going", you said and started to turn around before he stopped you.

"Actually", he started, prompting you to look back at him. "I was wondering if I could get your number", he had the same hopeful look on his face as earlier, when he asked you if he could grab you a drink. You looked at him for a few seconds before answering.

"Yeah, of course. Here it is", you handed him your phone and he put his contact in, giving it back to you.

"I'll text you so you can add mine", you tapped your screen a few times and after a couple of seconds, his phone vibrated on his back pocket. "There, now we have each other's numbers", you pocketed your phone.

"Text me when you get home?", he asked and you were caught a little off-guard, but couldn't deny you loved the way he genuinely seemed to care about you.

"Of course. I'll let you know", you smiled and contemplated giving him a hug, just to feel the way his arms would wrap around your body, but thought it would be too much for a first encounter. You settled in a little awkward wave as you turned around to make your way out of the backyard and in the direction of your car.

Noah, on the other hand, was frozen in place. When he spotted you, he was sure he was doomed to watch you from afar the whole night. But when he saw you by the table full of drinks, looking a little lost, he decided to take Nicholas' advice and mingle a little.

For someone who hated this city so much, he was actually feeling a little disappointed in having to leave in a few days. He always felt like there was nothing else worth sticking around for here, but as he replayed your smile in his head, and how your skin felt in his in those couple of seconds he shook your hand, he couldn't help but think he could stay here, if it meant he got to experince moments like this with you again.

He decided to make his way back inside, the party now with only a few people left. He sat on the couch as he watched Nicholas and his friends play a game of Monoply on the dinner table.

A few minutes went by when he felt his phone vibrate in back pocket. Fishing it out, he saw it was a text from you.

You: Hi! Just letting you know I got home safely :)

He felt a smile take over his face as he replied to you.

Noah: Hey! Glad everything went alright. Have a good night and sleep well x

You: Thank you :) Enjoy the rest of the party!

Noah: I'm about to leave soon actually. Talk to you tomorrow?

You: Sure! Drive home safe and let ME know when you get home? ;)

Noah: I will, but something tells me you'll be asleep by then

At home, you were leaning against the bathroom counter, your toothbrush hanging from your mouth, stupidly grinning at your phone.

You: I'll wait up :)

The next day was chores day for you. Clean the house, get the laundry done, change the sheets and whatever else you needed to do around the house.

Even with the music blaring through the speakers to keep you entertained while you loaded the dishes in the dishwasher, you couldn't help but let your mind run wild with thoughts of Noah.

You couldn't let go of the fact that he was so nice to you, despite never having seen you before. It's not that guys were never nice to you, it's just that the niceness came with the intentions fo something else, and you didn't want to think of Noah as one of those people.

Closing the dishwasher and starting the cycle, you made your way to the bedroom to collect all the clothes that needed washing.

As soon as you got in the room, you stopped in your tracks, your image on the mirror on the opposite wall from you catching your attention.

This was obviously a lazy day, and there was no use in dressing up to clean the house, but still, you could see the wisps of hair and the frizz sticking out from your bun, that sat atop of your head.

You wore a baggy t-shirt and some gym shorts, turning a bit to the side, you observed the fat of your thighs basically swallowing the tight fabric.

Nowadays, you weren't so worried with the way you look as you were as a teenager. A lot of therapy over the years helped you accept yourself. But you can't say it didn't leave any traumas behind.

Before you could even realize what was happening, the voices in your head were already sabotaging you.

"See? You were right. Noah is probably not attracted to you at all"

"He probably made a bet with someone about how he could charm the fat girl no one wants"

"He's tall, tattooed and handsome. You're just you"

It didn't matter anyway, he's doesn't even live here. His life in LA is probably more interesting than anything this city could offer him. He'll leave soon and your life would be back to normal. He'll probably not even text you, your phone number lost in all the other numbers he probably has in his phone.

Huffing with annoyance at how the day took a turn, you hurried to gather the clothes and make your way out of the room.

At the Ruffilo's house, Noah was laying on the couch, with his phone in his hand, open on your text thread with you from last night.

To be honest, he wanted to text you right when he woke up, but didn't want to come off to strong or bother you on your day off. Now, as it was nearing 3:00 pm, he was tired of holding himself back.

He's been contemplating on how he could ask you out for the entire day, and decided he should keep it simple. Maybe ask you out to eat some dinner. Nothing too fancy, just some burgers, fries and a milkshake at the place he loved to go with his friends as a teenager.

He even though about taking you to the lookout he always went to, to clear his head when the noises in his head got too loud. He hasn't been there in years, and now was a good time to try and resignify what the place meant to him.

So, he started typing.

Noah: Hey! Remember me?

He sent the text and stared at the screen, biting the nail on his thumb. He waited a couple of minutes for an answer, but the bubbles showing that you were typing a reply didn't appear on his screen.

You could be busy. Or you could already be out with someone else. It's the weekend after all, why would you spend it rotting away on the couch like him?

He knew if he stayed here, he would drive himself mad. So he decided to make his way uptairs to take a shower, and hopefully take his mind off of you for a few minutes.

Meanwhile, you were debating with yourself. After your dilemma earlier in the day, you weren't expecting to get a text from Noah. Actually, you were kind of hoping he wouldn't contact you, because you weren't ready to unpack what you were feeling for this guy you just met yesterday.

But here you are, mind running in circles thinking about what to say to him. Should you even reply? No, that's out of the question. You always thought it was rude to leave somone on read, especially on purpose.

You couldn't deny that you were curious to find out what he wanted. So, without dwelling much more on it, you started typing.

You: Hey there! Of course I do. Yesterday wasn't that long ago.

You wanted to lock your screen and chuck your phone across the room. But you weren't fifteen anymore, so you resorted to scrolling through social media as you waited for his responde. Eyes wandering to the notification bar every few seconds.

If this was just a booty call, you were going to be extremely upset. Would it be so bad though to have a one night stand with the hot guy?

Your phone vibrated in your hand, a text coming through.

Noah: Just wanted to make sure

What's up? You having a good weekend?

You: If good means cleaning the house the entire day, then I'm having a great weekend. What about you?

Noah: Well, now you're just making me feel bad, 'cause I didn't do anything the entire day

You: That sounds perfect, actually

Noah: Since your weekend has been so strenuous, what do you think about having some dinner?

Did he just ask you out? Were your eyes deceiving you? You didn't know what to tell him.

You obviously wanted to spend more time with him, enjoying the time you spent with him yesterday. But your mind took you back to earlier in the day. You hated yourself for always assuming the worst in a situation.

Maybe he didn't even mean anything by asking you to have dinner with him. Maybe he was just being polite. But why would he be polite to someone he just met?

Ultimately, you decided that this didn't have to mean anything more than just two people eating together. Besides, you were curious to find out what his intentions were. If he even had any.

You: Sounds good. What are you thinking?

Noah: Do you like burgers?

You: Oh, I love burgers!

Noah: It's set then! I know just the place

I'll pick you up at 7?

You: I'll be ready :)

Noah was sat on his bed, towel still wrapped around his hips, looking stupidly at his phone, a grin on his lips. He pondered a lot during his shower, and decided that he was done waiting. He didn't have much more time in his hometown, so he wanted to make the most of the time he still had with you.

He knew it was still too early to call this a first date, but he was nervous as if it was. He really hopes you like what he has planned for the two of you. It's nothing too fancy or too special, a simple dinner overlooking the city at night, but it held a lot of meaning for him.

Getting dressed and going downstairs to get some water, he knew he'd be stressing until it was time to leave to pick you up, so he decided to play some games on his computer to try and distract himself a little.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, and overanalyzed your outfit like you've been doing for probably the past 10 minutes. You wore a dress that went down to about your knees, it was a deep wine color, and threw on a leather jacket on top, just in case it got windy outside.

You opted to go for comfort instead of anything fancy, so deciding that this outfit was enough, you went to your closet and grabbed your pair of Vans and slipped them on your feet.

Noah should be here in about 15 minutes, and you wanted to be ready. He texted you a little earlier asking for your address, you gave it to him and just told him to text you when he got here. Since you lived in an apartment, it would be easir for you to come down and meet him at the entrance.

You didn't have to wait long until you phone chimed in your hands, a text popping up on the screen.

Noah: I'm here :)

You: I'll be down in a second!

Locking the door behind you, you waited for the elevator. Your legs couldn't seem to keep still, and you realized you were nervous for whatever was about to happen when you met him outside.

Do you hug him? Do you shake his hand? No, that's too formal of a greeting. But would he want to hug you this soon? He seemed to be a reserved person.

You didn't have much more time to overthink on this situation, because soon you were stepping inside the elevator. You cursed yourself for living only on the third floor, because before you could freak out a bit more, the doors dinged and you stepped out.

When you laid eyes on him, he was standing outside his car, back leaning against the passenger side door, long legs crossed and hands tucked into his pants' pockets.

You almost stopped yourself in your tracks. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt, and you could see the tattoos decorating both of his arms. You almost wanted to just stand there and admire the way looked waiting for you.

But you couldn't allow yourself to look like a fool on the first time you were going out with him. So you put on a smile and walked over to him. You didn't have to overthink anything at all, because as soon as you got close to him, you heard him say a "hello" and stretch out his arms for you to give him a hug.

He felt warm and sturdy against you, and you noticed the way his arms circled your shoulders and around your neck. You could feel his muscles through the fabric of your dress, and it made you a little dizzy.

When you both parted from the hug, you said "hi" back him.

"C'mon in", he gestured to the car and opened the door for you. You situated yourself on the passenger seat and he shut the door behind you, making his to the other side.

"So, what's the plan for tonight?", you asked, as you buckled you seatbelt and watched him do the same.

"I know this place that sells some really good burgers. My friends and I used to go there all the time. I hope it's still good", he answered and started driving.

"Burgers are always nice", you pointed out.

"Not always", he quickly looked at you with his eyebrows raised.

"Are you particular about your burgers?"

"It's not that I'm pinky or anything. It's just that I knwo when a burger is bad", he explained himself while taking a right turn and entering another neighbourhood.

"And what is a bad burger in your opinion?", you turned yourself slightly on your seat, so you could look at him better.

"Well, first, the bun has to be sealed, so it isn't soggy from the sauce", you nodded along to his explanation. "Then, the burger has to be thick enough to be juicy, and it can't be cooked for too long because then it becomes dry", he makes a face as if dry burgers are a personal attack to him.

"I guess you're right about all of that. Maybe spending four years in college kind of messed up my idea of good food"

"You ate a lot of weird stuff?", he asked you.

"It's incredible the stuff you can come up with on a budget", you shrugged and he seemed to be satisfied with your answer.

Not too long after, Noah's pulling to a vintage looking diner, but you notice him going to the drive thru instead of parking.

"We're not eating here?", you found yourself asking before you could stop.

"Shit, I didn't ask you", he stopped the car in the line and looked at you. "I was thinking about eating at this place I know, I think you're gonna like it", you could tell his confidence wavered a little bit, but you gave him a smile anyways.

"It's ok, I don't mind eating somewhere else"

The line progressed quickly and in about fifteen minutes, you were grabbing your order and Noah was driving again.

You noticed he was driving to a less populated area, and more trees came into view, the headlights of the car illuminated the path ahead.

"I clearly didn't think this through because this totally looks like I'm kidnapping you or something", he chuckled a little, but you could tell he was nervous.

"I didn't think about that", you told him. Maybe you thought this place was a little weird, but you weren't going to comment on that.

"We're almost there, ok", you nodded and true to his words, a few turns later, the car arrived at a clearence. Noah drove a little bit more and parked the car.

Looking through the windshield, you could see the light from the city below you and the stars shining bright above you.

"You were right. I really do like this place", you stated, still a little bit in awe. How did you not know about this place?

"I'm really glad you like it", he said, watching you observe the place around you. "Well, let's eat before the food gets cold"

You ate and talked, now feeling more comfortable with each other's presence. Noah told you he used to come here as a teenager all the time, though he didn't tell you the reason.

He didn't feel the same emotions now as he did before when coming to this place. It felt like a new life now for him, e new beginning, and he was to have someone like you here with him.

You did tell him though, that this was one of the best burgers you've ever eating in your life, and that you would totally eat there more. He couldn't hide the smile on his face.

After you were done, he gathered all the wrappers and cups and got out of the car to put it in the trash can that was not too far away from the car.

You sat there, observing him and wondering if you were the only one feeling like this was more than just two people who just met each other going out to dinner.

He got back and sat down on the driver's seat. Looking out into the city, he said "I kind of don't wanna go yet"

"I don't either", you agreed. You felt a weird sense of calm on this place, with him. "I can tell that being here means a lot to you. And you don't have to tell me anything, but I'm glad you brought me here"

He didn't say anything for a while, and you both just sat there in comfortable silence.

"I never liked coming back here, to my hometown", he started, you just looked at him, not saying anything, not wanting to rush him. "I have really bad memories from this place. But don't know, being here this time, meeting you, made me feel like this city still has some good in it"

"Noah, I'm hardly anyone important", you reasoned.

"It's not that. I just feel like you're here because you wanna be, and not because you want to get something from me", he looked down at his lap.

"Why would I wanna get something from you?", you were feeling a little confused now.

"it's just always the way it works. Charlie never told you whar I do on LA?", he questioned you, looking at you from the corner of his eyes.

"She told me you're in a band. Which I googled and you guys look pretty good at what you do", you noticed his eyes widening when you said this.

"So you know?", his voice was a little smaller right now, aprehensive.

"Of course. Josh would never shut up about his friends who went to LA and got famous", you laughed quietly at this. "I'm sorry that people made you feel worthy only if you have something to give them"

He looked down again, but you continued. "But I was serious when I told you that I'm not anyone important. I'm glad to be here right now, and I really enjoy your company, but you're going back to LA soon and then this is the last thing you'll think about"

"I don't think that's true", he was quick to disagree with you. "Before arriving here, I felt dread coming back to this place. Now I feel like I don't wanna leave. You're the reason for that, and I'll never forget the way you've made me feel this past two days. Because I haven't felt his normal in years", you didn't know what to say to that, so you just looked at him.

He straighted his back, and leaned his elbows on the center console, his face now closer to yours.

"Will you give me the pleasure of tasting your lips before I go absolutely insane?", he was looking right at your eyes, voice low as if there weren't the two of you here.

"We can't have you going insane, can we?", you said and leaned closer, brushing your lips on his.

You felt his hand going up your neck and gripping your jaw. He licked his lips and you closed your eyes, and soon you felt the plush of his lips on yours, slow at first, but then he got a little more urgent, picking up his pace.

His tongue teased your lips and you granted him entrance, you whimpered at the feeling of his mouth on yours, and he held your face tighter.

After parting, you were both panting, you with a smile in your face at the feeling of his thumb carresing your cheek.

"How am I supposed to ever leave this place now?", he wondered out loud and connected his lips yours again.

[iihandsiiheavn]

ʚïɞ "next door" LN4

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀↳ masterlist ↳ drop a request! ↳ more papaya!

✧₊⁺ lando norris x aurora jones (female!oc)

✧₊⁺ wc: 2,1k. ⠀⠀✧₊⁺ genre: hurt/confort, angst.

summary: when aurora hears something breaking in the apartment next door and just can't think of letting lando get hurt.

warnings: soft!lando, mclaren strategy trigger, description of an anxiety attack, pretty much platonic, author with no ability to end oneshots, small injury description.

Aurora heard the elevator open. The British accent talking on the phone, the angsty conversation, and the door beside hers taking too long to swing open but never closing.

She took a few minutes. Had some tea, washed her dishes, and then… she was standing by her own door, wondering if she should knock and check on her neighbor.

Lando Norris. Of course, she knew the man; a Formula One athlete, probably the best news for the sport in years.

And she knew the pressure that came with the glory. They had spent some time together during the few years she had been living in the building. Quick talks in the elevator, in the parking lot while he helped her with groceries —every now and then, they met, and Aurora had grown affectionate towards the guy.

So it's no doubt she's worried. She’s on the internet, of course she saw everything around his name, and of course, it feels weird.

Someone can be a top athlete in a sport that only twenty people in the whole world get to compete in, and there's still a way to be put down.

Then she hears something breaking —something like glass against her own wall, the one they share. It's instinctual; one second she's wondering, and the next she's outside her apartment, finding his door half open and hesitating.

Maybe she shouldn't get involved. It could have been anything.

"YOU'RE TOO DUMB!"

Alright, she's in.

"Hey, Lando? I heard something and thought I should..."

"Leave." It's heartbreaking — the voice full of agony and the obvious crying, trying to stay low. She still can't see him.

"Yeah- Sure. Sure. Can I... Can I just make sure you're okay? I heard something breaking. Are you alright?"

"No."

Lando closes his eyes as the back of his head hits the wall, a little stronger than he intended. Lately, too many things are hitting harder than they should, and now he sounds like an angry child.

He just can't lie. No, he's not okay, not fine. His hands are bleeding from the broken glass, and his whole body burns — it feels like too much.

Oscar has to work towards his points. There was a whole two-hour meeting about how the Formula One championship might work for the year ahead, and it felt like a knife twisting inside his muscles.

How come he can't manage to do things by himself? How does his whole team need to set everything up for him? Isn't he capable?

And everyone talks. His own friend and rival is around, saying that Lando is not the first driver. Everything is simply working against him, and the pressure is up. It shouldn't be that way.

"Where are you? I'm coming in, okay? I'm sorry, I can't help it."

He recalls the talk they had once in the elevator, a late-night conversation when he just went to the lobby to grab his food delivery and she was coming home from work. The girl is a doctor, or on her way to becoming one — he can't remember everything right now.

So for once, he feels like giving in. Maybe he could use some help, and Aurora is kind of a proper person to do it. Professionally, of course, and then... she's not so close to him. Just enough to understand what's happening but not enough to judge him or treat him differently after he lets his guard down.

"Hey... Hey, Lando." She has the sweetest voice, the sweetest approach. Doesn't fully walk towards him, doesn't get too defensive. God, he needed this. "Do you need anything? Do you want me to call someone, or... do something? You're hurt. I can see blood."

"No, don't call anyone. I'm gonna be okay."

In a hurried need to show everything is fine, he tries drying his bloody hands on his pants, but it only hurts more and he can't keep the pained expression or the small whimper from escaping his lips. Great thing Aurora also can't keep herself.

She takes a towel from the counter, kneeling in front of him as he tries to hide his hands.

There's something about letting people see you're hurt. Lando hates that. In every way possible.

"It's okay, it's fine. Let me just clean that for you, alright? Let me take care of that."

Nothing that will ever come out of his mouth, but yeah. How that boy wanted to be taken care of. It feels like life has only been hitting and bruising him, and no one even wipes it clean.

He really wants to let his guard down, even if it's just for a moment.

"It's just... just a cut," he mouths, hands out and fingers pressed, like it would hurt to move. "What are you doing here?"

"Heard something and got worried."

Aurora's soft hands touch his calloused ones, ready to wrap the towel around them, right before she sees a small piece of something that looks like porcelain.

"You have something stuck in your skin; we gotta take it out. " she warns. "It will hurt a bit, okay? But I need to take it out to stop the bleeding."

"It's... it's okay. You don't need to do anything for me. I can do it by myself."

"Yeah, of course you can. I just want to help. Can you take a deep breath for me?"

Aurora doesn't wait much, just as if she's in a professional procedure. It’s not in much need of a hurry, but usually, she just narrates what she's doing next and does it. It's more about the patient's headspace than the hurt itself. Not much explanation, no time to let the patient think.

So the blue piece of porcelain is out of Lando's skin in seconds, thrown into the sink before she actually wraps the towel around the hand that bleeds the most.

"That was fast." It comes out with a soft moan from the boy's lips, eyes closed with the tears stuck and everything.

His hands looked ugly, but his face... there was something going on, and Aurora really wanted to know, to do whatever about it.

"It was a small piece," she says, instinctively touching his face and cleaning the tears now rolling down. "You're sure you don't want me to call anyone? You don't seem like you should be alone right now."

"No, it's okay."

In fact, there isn't much that is "okay." The apartment is a mess, broken glass, many things out of place, dark and in disarray. Aurora is good with the signs; she is great at taking care of people and could do it with her eyes closed.

Lando just needed to be taken care of.

"Would you let me... help you out? You don't need to stay on the floor." Naturally, her fingers lace around his face, a soft touch that almost made him lean into it. "Hm? What do you think?"

His brain can't fight much anymore; so when he nods and she helps him up, when she guides him through the apartment to make sure he's not stepping on glass, when she puts him on the couch and stands in front of him, it does feel a little better.

Lando has to be in control most of the time. He is the first driver for one of the most traditional teams in motorsports, drives a Formula One car. There are a whole lot of people working towards it, but at the end of the day, he's driving solo. It depends on him. No matter what Zak says on the radio, or what the team puts together in the meetings.

Once he's behind the wheel, it's on him. To make the right decision, to keep up.

Having someone else just step up and be there is pretty new.

"I... hm... thank you, Aurora. Thank you, truly. You don't need to stay here if you don't want to." At this point, the tone in his voice almost says otherwise.

"I want to." Aurora lets out.

Lando would laugh in any other situation. She is straightforward; he noticed that from their previous few talks, and she's like that with everything in life. No shame, no worry. He even thought about how she'd get along well in a conversation with his old coworker and friend, Daniel Ricciardo.

"I really won't be able to settle down if I leave you here by yourself, so... Yes. If you tell me I can stay..." Lando notices her tone, low and calm.

She's cautious, her posture so relaxed yet so serious. She does this for a living, and he knows that, but right now, it feels like she's doing it just for him. It's comforting to think of it that way.

"Yeah, yeah. It's fine. I didn't eat very well today and my head is spinning a bit. I fucked up."

Coming back to his senses, Lando tries to make things better. She came into his apartment because he was cursing himself, finding him curled up and bleeding in the kitchen. So, yes, things do need to get better.

"It's completely fine, it happens. You need to eat something and drink some water. I can grab some painkillers for you. Oh, and you need to stretch your legs, tilt your head up a bit, and... regulate your breathing. Can you do that for me? You're still a bit off."

He didn't think he'd be able to keep up with all these words, but he did. Of course, he's still a bit off — his heart is still racing and his hands can't stay still.

And even with all of that, he's a lot calmer now. Despite the terrible day at work, the comments he read on social media at lunchtime, with everyone talking down on him and all the jokes about him.

Oh, it is hard to breathe.

"Hey, Lando. You're okay, huh? You just need to take a big breath for me."

His response is a soft, low whimper when she gently touches his chin and raises his head just enough, following procedure as if she's at work but being extra gentle. Her thumb caresses his skin.

"C'mon, in through your nose, out through your mouth. We're not in a rush; you can take your time," she reassures, now close enough so both her hands can touch him, now caressing his hair. "I know you're used to the speed and everything... Oh! I heard you coming in last week at full speed! I was scared!"

She studied for this. Most people can manage a better way out of a crisis when being distracted.

"I had to stream." he says, not planning for it to come out as a whisper, but it did.

"I forget you do it all." Aurora chuckles, taking her hands away from him as soon as it feels comfortable enough.

Lando moans in dislike, although he won't say it. He was enjoying it way too much.

"My brother showed me a clip of yours last weekend... Can't believe you're actually funny." she keeps the conversation up, hands on her waist as she analyzes the man, his chest moving up and down, now way more controlled. "I thought you rich boys were all annoying and snobbish."

"We are. Don't let the gameplay fool you."

And there he is—the dark-humored Brit she met in the elevator. It brings a smile to her face.

"Yeah," she softens up. "Did anyone tell you that you are the standard? That Senna of yours parked downstairs... A baby, a very, very expensive baby."

"It's propaganda. I work for them. Did you know?"

She rolls her eyes lightly, the boy acting more and more natural as she stands in front of him.

"You get free luxury cars in the name of propaganda? Besides the billion-dollar one you drive every other weekend? Wow. How can I submit my resume?"

"I do think you could. You are a great doctor," he compliments, subtly, making it clear she wasn't expecting that. "Thank you for coming over, though. I didn't know I could have that control over myself."

"It's all up here," she points to her own head. "Whenever you need, I'm right next door. No... no more hurting yourself."

"That was an accident," he's quick to say. "But it's okay. If you're coming over every time I get hurt... I do have some spare plates."

"Lando, stop that!" Aurora tries to keep from laughing, hitting the Brit with a pillow. "I'm going now, okay? Since everything is fine and you're already joking your way around."

"Oh—no, no. It's fine. If you want to stay a bit more... In case I... trip or anything. It's really good to have professional help on hand."

Aurora has a smile on her face now.

There is something growing in the room.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ʚïɞ iihandsiiheavn, 2024.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀check my masterlist or drop a request (:

[xoluvx]

do you think you could write something about billie finding out reader is pregnant and how she would react? (either she finds out on an accident or reader surprises her idk which one 😭)

omg yes so i took this in a slightly slightly different direction.. kinda idk it just came out as i was writing so please enjoy 🥺

you'd been nervous all day. the butterflies in your stomach felt like moths reaching for your mouth; the only source of light peeking through your parted lips. you were anxious to get home and reach into the bathroom drawer. tear open that little cardboard box that'd haunted you for months. rip open the plastic film that would reveal your fate in a matter of minutes.

with shaky hands you pulled apart the packaging before dipping the little stick into the cup. you counted your breaths as you pulled it out placing the cap back on and letting it rest on the counter. you tapped on the marble before washing your hands. staring at yourself in the mirror. you were tired. you were exhausted. you looked physically drained. you just wanted a baby. her baby.

when the door jiggled, you jumped and gasped clutching your chest. you hadn't locked the door. she came in and a sudden wave of relief washed over you when you saw her face. it brightened when she saw you. her smile so cute and goofy as she laughed and apologized. then it slowly faded when she glanced at the stick on the counter. so small. so harmless. yet sticks just like it had caused so much pain before that she felt it all rushing back. her shoulders slumped as you tilted your head with a small smile trying to remain positive. she closed the door softly behind her wrapping her arms around your waist as you leaned into her looking at your joint reflection in the mirror.

"can you look at it first?" you whispered clinging to her arms. you'd done this far too many times, you didn't know if you had it in you anymore. with a nod and small kiss to your head, she reached for the pregnancy test holding it above your heads so you couldn't see. she was quiet for a long time. "bad?" you croaked almost clawing her arm with anxiety. her grip on your waist grew tighter as her body shook and her lips pressed on your temple. the stick fell in the sink as she rocked you in her arms starting to jump behind you almost lifting you from the ground.

"pregnant- you're- you're pregnant," she beamed unable to form words out of sheer excitement and shock. you turned your body so you were facing her. your lips parted as your eyelashes stuck together as you batted your tears. billie cupped your face. her forehead pressed on yours as you breathed each other's air. as your hearts beat in sync. as you came to the realization that-

"we're having a baby," you whispered looking into her eyes. she melted all your worries away. the future you'd planned was falling into place and it all laid in her eyes. when her lips touched yours, all the tense feelings just melted. nothing else mattered except her. except you. except the new life you'd created.

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

This morning I said goodbye to my childhood dog, Kody. He was 18 years old. He was my baby. My best friend. My whole heart. I love him so much.

I remember the first time we met Kody at the animal shelter. He was actually named Tyra then because the staff had thought he was female. Then the first thing he did in our meet-n-greet was try to pee on my brother's leg, and the staff member with us at the time was like, "oops I think this may be a boy actually." So of course we had to take him. When my dad was signing the adoption forms, the desk person asked what he wanted to rename "Tyra" to since "Tyra" was actually a boy. My dad, put on the spot, just went, "uhhhhh Tyrone?" We still laugh about it to this day.

So my dog went from being a Tyra, to a Tyrone, and then to a Kody, because that was the name us kids wanted. I remember the way we thought that name up was because we watched a lot of the Disney show "Suite Life of Zack and Cody" at that time. But we changed the "C" to a "K" because in our kid minds it made the name cooler and more unique.

Kody was a weird little guy. He had a lot of anxiety, which meant he fit right into our family. He didn't get along with many dogs unless they were old and calm and it took him a while to warm up to strangers. When he went on walks, he would have to go and pee on every tree we came across, even though he had nothing left in the chamber and was just doing the motions. He liked to climb on top of the couch and the loveseat and nap there. He liked to nap in warm piles of fresh laundry and patches of sunlight too. We always joked that he acted more like a cat than a dog. When I tried giving him bones or chews, all he'd do was roll on them and then go stuff them under the couch or behind a shelf without chewing them. Actually, Kody was pretty picky with his food in the early days. Maybe because my mom kept giving him table food. But as he got into senior age, he got less picky. Kody also loved getting nightly scratches from my dad. He'd lay in my dad's lap and get so relaxed from the scratching. I'd get a little jealous because I couldn't get Kody to stay in my lap as long as my dad could.

The only command we ever managed to teach Kody was "sit" and he was real good at it if he knew you had a treat in hand. However when he got older and began developing dementia as well as gradually loosing his sight and hearing, he lost the command. The first time I realized he didn't know how to sit anymore, I cried. The first time I realized that Kody didn't know how to wag his tail anymore, I cried. Watching him deteriorate from what he once was, watching the shine in his eyes become dull and cloudy, watching as he gradually lost the ability to do more and more things... it was so painful.

Last night Kody came over to me and laid his head in my lap and fell asleep. It was the first time he had done that in months. I just sat there and pet him and cried. Now I can never pet him or hold him or kiss him on the head again. And it feels so unbearably, unimaginably painful. I can barely comprehend it. It feels like I'm in a nightmare. It feels like my heart's been ripped out of my chest. It feels like a part of my world is ending. But I know I will be okay eventually. I have to be.

Kody, you were a very good boy. The best dog/cat/rat in the world. I'm going to miss hearing your little feet pitter-pattering across the floor. I'll miss your barking when the doorbell rings. Your excited whines in the car. How you would roll on your back for belly rubs. The way you would burrow under the blankets or just shove them around until you made a nest. Your snores and funny twitches when you're deep asleep. How your fur was soft on top your head and then got coarser on your back. How big and round your eyes were. I'm going to miss it all so much. I hope you know how loved you are. And I hope we meet again someday. Thank you for everything, Kody. I love you.

[rafayelsgf]

[spoilers] just listened to rafayel's secret times: treasure (finally reached affinity level 70 yay) and fucking hell i Bawled so bad (i didn't expect this to be so fluffy MAAN)

basically, a self-indulgent list of what rafayel did during your period to lesson your cramps and make you feel better:

made you warm milk

planned to call an ambulance bc you don't look well even if you don't have a fever

doesn't have any experience with this yet still tries everything he can do

was supposed to be on a date & had a dinner reservation but canceled it and he's trying to cheer you up: "we'll have other chances to see the night sky..."

offers his shoulder for you to lean on

felt how cold your hands were, so he gave you a blanket

"if you want or need anything, just call me. today, i'll be your bodyguard." (i would be fucking lying if i didn't say i sobbed so hard here.)

offered himself as your sofa because he saw your uncomfortable you feel lying down: "yeah, lean on me."

gives you a massage to take your pain away ):

constantly asks you and checks up on you during the massage bc he doesn't want to hurt you ):

still tries his best massaging you despite not being his expertise: "these hands excel at many things, but not this."

can also be your personal punching bag: but if you wanna hit me, you can do it. gently."

offered himself (again) to be (gently) punched bc he saw on the internet that exercise will make you feel better ): and as per rafayel, hitting him counts as exercise ):

loves to crack up jokes just to see you smile )))):

you must be wrapped up in a blanket (he checks up on you again)

wants you to lean on him if you're more comfortable in that position: "as long as you're not frowning, i won't feel tired."

literally fucking hums a song for you PLEASE ))))):

reminisce with you and show you the night sky (pictures he took) since you are unable to go out rn ):

shows you the pictures he took and the story behind it in his softest voice ):

lets you enjoy the photos while you guys just sit and talk to help you sleep ):

wants you to get better soon bc it's hard for him to see you unwell ):

says that he's bad at taking care of others but assures you that he'll be a good sofa and stay with you the whole night ))))):

also will personally cook something for you in the morning ):

"good night. i won't leave you."

this is honestly my favorite secret times audio now. oh god, rafayel, my standards just went so high. the fucking man you are ): i love him so much.

[ellieputellas]

in another life | final part of "if you'd have stuck around"

i'll make you stay, there's just no way i'm leaving without your love if i had my way, i would be yours

— "yours" - now, now

part one | part two | part three

🏷️ @moonystoes @simp4panos

(a/n: the song for the previous chapter suits the first part (?) of this fic more actually but whatever lol)

part three You wondered how many times more you had to relive your break-up with Elisa, how many more times you had to deem the "last one," how many more times you would cry over losing her. You were sure you didn't have another "last" goodbye in you. When she left you in that meeting room, you didn't know what came over you but you cried just like you did five years ago. Sure, after you had split up with Elisa, there were several more instances that you cried but it aas nothing like this. You felt like you were back in that tiny dorm in Montpellier, hurriedly packing up your bag to storm out. You were gutwrenched, feeling like all of the hurt you've buried deep inside you was bursting out all at once.

What's worse was having to leave that meeting room, rushing to wash your face, grab your things, and dash out to avoid any questioning from your co-workers. The last thing you needed was word getting out about Elisa de Almeida making you cry. You spent the next few days avoiding all things football. You stashed the jersey and keychain Elisa gave you in the far corner of your shoe closet. You muted the phrases "Elisa de Almeida", "PSG" and the like on all your social media accounts. You were resolute that that last encounter would indeed be the last. But fate had a weird sense of humor. "Babe, I really don't feel up to it." You told Casey as you buried your head in a pillow. "Can't we just do it over the phone or email? What's technology for if we still have to physically go somewhere to interview people?" "Come on, babe, my dad asked us to do him a favor," Casey said, trying to lift your head up with her hands. "It's just a quick interview. It won't even be filmed."

You groaned. "Why can't they send Gina or Mark... or Daisy? That girl has turned into a full-blown PSG fan in the past week. She'd prefer to interview them." Casey huffed. "Well, I would ask them but they said the team requested you."

You peeked out from your pillow. "The team requested me?" You questioned. "I don't get why they'd like me so much. I pretty much exchanged like 12 total sentences with them all-in-all." "Yeah, to be honest, I just think that Jackie girl does have a crush on you." Casey said in jest. "Pretty sure she just wants an excuse to see you." You sighed, knowing fully well that it wasn't Jackie Groenen who had a crush on you. But then again, it also seemed very unlike Elisa to invite you over. When she left you in that meeting room, it felt like she also permanently decided on ever seeing you again. "Casey, please, I really don't want to." You took the pillow off of your head and gave your girlfriend a pleading look. "It's the last thing I want to do." Your girlfriend looked at you confused as she brushed your hair behind your ear. She cupped your cheek and used her thumb to caress it. "What's up with you, huh?" She asked, concerned. "Did something happen to make you dislike those girls? It's so not you to dislike working... I genuinely think my dad likes you more than he likes me cause you're always up for the job." You gave Casey a weak smile. You didn't know how to tell her that you didn't want to interview them because of Elisa. You knew deep inside that Casey would understand if you told her about what happened five years ago and also, what happened a few days ago between you and Elisa. But you felt like opening it up would just mean reopening your chapters with Elisa. "Babe, did they offend you?" Casey asked with a concerned look. "I did hear from some people that Elisa visited you to give you a gift from the team. Did something happen then?" There it was... your opportunity to tell Casey. You paused. "No."

Casey hummed. "Then what is it? Are you okay?" You felt a pang in your heart. Casey had trusted you immediately without even further questioning. The fact that she was so nice and trusting just made it all worse. You sighed. "Just feeling lazy," You excused. "But fine... I'll do it. But I need you to come with me, please." Casey pouted. "No can do," She sighed. "I'd drop everything to be with you normally but I kinda do have to be with dad for this meeting about a possible acquisition. No clue why I have to be there... I don't get the whole corporate mumbo jumbo but yeah, dad needs me there." "Fine, I'll go alone but drop me off, please?" You asked. Your girlfriend gave you a smile and a peck. "Of course, my darling."

Casey hummed. "Then what is it? Are you okay?" You felt a pang in your heart. Casey had trusted you immediately without even further questioning. The fact that she was so nice and trusting just made it all worse. You sighed. "Just feeling lazy," You excused. "But fine... I'll do it. But I need you to come with me, please." Casey pouted. "No can do," She sighed. "I'd drop everything to be with you normally but I kinda do have to be with dad for this meeting on a possible acquisition. No clue why I have to be there... I don't get the whole corporate mumbo jumbo but yeah, dad needs me there." "Fine, I'll go alone but drop me off, please?" You asked. Your girlfriend gave you a smile and a peck. "Of course, my darling."

You're filled with dread as you knocked on the hotel door. You read the message from your co-worker, instructing you to head up to this exact room. You found it odd that you weren't meeting at the hotel restaurant instead but you just figured the girls might be too tired. The door swung open. Jackie met you with a grin and threw her arms around you as if you truly were friends. Oddly enough, Jackie stepped out of the hotel room and shut the door behind her. "So nice to see you again." She smiled at you. You reciprocated the smile. "Yes, yes, are you the only one doing the interview?" You asked, hoping she'd say yes. "If you'd like, we can do it at the hotel restaurant. The company can foot the bill so we can go crazy on club sandwiches and coffee." She chuckled. "That's so sweet but actually," She replied. "I just asked your production manager to forward all the interview questions to my email and I'd reply through there too." You blinked in confusion. "Oh okay," You furrowed your eyebrows together. As if on cue, you got a text from Gina telling you that there was no need to conduct the interview in person. Too late, Gina. "I guess, I'd go now..." You said, still confused. Jackie held your arm. "Actually... please don't go yet." Her face looked a bit more serious. "Uh, I asked for the interview thing and really pleaded with my boss just so you could come." "A-what?" You asked silently, growing more and more confused. She blushed slightly. "I feel so unprofessional right now but..." She started. "I know.... about you and Elisa." You fell silent and stiffened. "Oh." It was all you could manage to say. The Dutch bit her lip. "I didn't want to pry since I know you're in a relationship but... Elisa hasn't been herself since she visited you so I interrogated her and she just exploded and told me everything." She sighed. "I just thought it would help... for you and her to talk. Even for just five minutes." You were caught in an awkward position. You had to be polite but also, you really didn't wanna do this anymore. "Sorry, Jackie. I don't think—" "Just five minutes, please." The Dutch girl pleaded. "It's affecting her game. She hasn't talked to any of us, not me or Grace or Saki. No one. Our manager is losing his mind having to deal with her and I'm just scared that if she doesn't get proper closure that she might not recover from it and... I don't know. I just figured this was a solution." "Jackie," Your voice trailed off. "Five minutes." She pleaded. "Just tell her that she should move on and that you'll always treasure your time together. I don't know. I've never been in this situation before..." She looked at you with desperation. "I care about Elisa. She's a good friend. If you have to lie to her, just to make sure she's okay... do it." She asked. "I know it's a lot to ask but please..." You took a deep sigh. "Fine." Jackie gave you a genuine hug. "Okay, I'll be back in five minutes. I'll leave you here and just... please try if you can." She asked. Cautiously, still holding on to your arm as if you'd run away if she didn't, she swiped her hotel key card on the hotel door. You two walked in. From the door, all you could see was Elisa's stuff thrown on top of her bed. Jackie started. "Elisa... I'm just gonna go buy some drinks. You want anything?" Elisa grunted in response. Jackie gave you a smile as if to say 'see?' Jackie responded. "Okay, stay here and I'll be back in five minutes." She said as you two walked further into the hotel room. You could now see Elisa under her duvets, scrolling through Instagram on her phone. "Don't leave this room." "Why would I —" Elisa spun around violently as she sat up. Her face went from incredulous to dumbfounded. You were instantly regretting your decision but Jackie had already swiftly exited the room.

"Hey," You said as you stood near the foot of her bed, nervously picking at the fabric of your cardigan. "Heard you weren't feeling well." Elisa gulped. She remained on the bed. She ran a hand through her hair and looked away for a moment, trying to regain composure. You took this opportunity to look at her. She looked tired and sleepless; her hair was a tad disheveled. Yet, to you, she still looked so good. She was wearing a black muscle shirt, revealing her strong arms. You couldn't deny it... she looked incredibly hot. Fuck, this is so weird. You thought to yourself. Why am I even here? "I'm supposed to tell you to get your shit together and move on and to do your job better, I think." You said with a hint of jest in your voice. "So, do that." She was still averting her gaze. You stood there awkwardly before biting your lip and sighing. "I guess, that's all I have to say." You said. "I'll go now." Elisa stood up and rushed to you. She put her hands on either side of you. "No, please, I need to talk to you." She said as she guided you towards the other bed. You awkwardly sat on the other bed which you assumed was Jackie's. Elisa sat on the edge of her bed. You were facing each other with knees knocking given the awkward proximity of the two beds. "So..." You started. Elisa looked up at you. You glanced at her too. You took it all in this time. You looked at her honey-brown eyes, the smile lines around her eyes, her nose, her pink lips, her slightly tanned skin. You figured you might as well take it all in now before you permanently closed the door on your relationship with Elisa. This is the actual last time I'd see her. After this, I'm closing the door and bolting it shut. You rationalized. You bit your lip awkwardly and looked away. "Did you win the friendlies?" She nodded. "Yeah, 2-1" You nodded. "You played the full 90?" She nodded again. "Even if I was fully shit, I did..." She responded. You sighed. "Was San Diego nice?" There was a moment of silence. Elisa didn't respond. Instead, she took your hands in hers. You nearly jolted as you felt her fingertips caress your palm so gently. She used her fingers to trace the lines on your palm as if trying to commit them to memory. The pads of her fingers barely grazed yours, as if you would break if she touched you any firmer.

She took a deep breath before she gently lifted your hands and rested her face in them. She kept her own hands at the back of yours, as if to keep you in place. Her face felt warm under your hands and her skin was so soft to the touch. It felt so intimate, touching her like this. You blinked and looked away for a moment. She shook her head slightly, feeling the movement echo in your hands. It was if to nonverbally tell you to keep looking at her.

When you hesitated, she whispered. "Please, just look at me right now. Just... pretend with me. Even if it's for a while."

You bit your lip. It was so honest and so... oddly painful to see her practically asking you to hold her like this. You were a tad clueless with what she meant. Did she want you to pretend you were still together? That you came here to be with her? Or... was she asking you to pretend that you still loved her?

"Just let me have this for a while," She whispered, as if reading your mind and answering your confusion.

Your gaze lingered on your own hands before finally giving in and meeting her eyes. They were as stunning as ever, the golden flecks in her irises more pronounced than usual. A familiar warmth pulsed through you mingled with a poignant sadness. A heavy glaze obscured her eyes, telling you just how she felt without having to use any words.

In that moment, you realized the cruel irony: the most beautiful things are often the most fleeting. A wave of emotion washed over you. This time, it felt different. It finally sunk into you that this really was the final goodbye. All the other times you deemed "the last" felt painful or incomplete. This felt almost... beautiful. It felt like you both knew this was the last and were finally accepting it. A bittersweet acceptance hung heavy in the air. “Please, move closer,” she whispered, her voice soft and gentle. Her fingers still intertwined with yours. You nodded. You stood up and stepped closer to her, looking down at her face. Her hands found solace under your cardigan and on your back, pulling you towards her with strong yet gentle hands. A pang of guilt shot through you.

You had a girlfriend, a sweet kind-hearted girlfriend. A girlfriend who had no clue what you were doing at this very moment... But suddenly her hands found their way under your shirt and her thumbs were rubbing circles into your skin, and all you could think about was how great it was to feel her touch like this again.

"You're so beautiful," She said in the softest voice. If she said it any quieter, it would have gone unheard. You smiled at her and you took her face in her hands again Without a conscious decision, you straddled her, your weight settling on her lap. She kept one hand under your shirt, at the small of your back to keep you steady and the other reached to your face. She took a stray hair and tucked it behind your ear, a silent gesture of intimacy. Time seemed to stand still. The world outside the hushed room faded into insignificance as you absorbed the moment, her warmth seeping into your soul. You took in the moment, being this close again, after years and years.

She inhaled deeply as her head nestled against your neck, a gentle weight that spoke volumes. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she clung to you; it felt like a silent plea.

As she breathed, her lips brushed against your skin, a feather-light touch that sent shivers down your spine. With each gentle exhale, you felt her warm breath caress the curve of your neck. Nuzzling closer, you inhaled the comforting scent that enveloped you; she still used that same familiar shampoo. You held her head against you, brushing her short, dark locks. The whole moment felt like a sensory experience devoid of thoughts or words. All you could focus on was the soft texture of her hair, the warmth of her body, the comforting rhythm of her breath. As you held her close, the world outside felt distant, muted, detached; it literally felt like you were in a dream or a small pocket outside of reality that only you and her occupied. She lifted her head, her gaze locking onto yours. A silent understanding passed between you. Then, with a swift movement, she flipped you onto the bed, hovering over you. Your eyes pleaded with hers, a silent plea for her to reconsider what she had in mind. But her gaze, unwavering, held a different message. Her eyes traced the contours of your face, lingering on your lips. You parted your lips as if to say something — maybe, a protest or even just asking her to pause and think it out — but nothing came out. She leaned forward cautiously and slowly, pausing intermittently just like she did when she first kissed you. And suddenly, you were kissing. Your lips stayed pressed together, unmoving for a moment. You felt tears sting your eyes. You were unsure why you were suddenly tearing up but the emotion was just too much to handle. Then, your muscle memory took over. You didn't have to think too hard before your arms wrapped around her as you locked lips. You let your hands move up and down to touch her back, her biceps, her body. It felt so familiar yet so new. And, her lips were incredibly soft and her taste... god, she tasted as addicting as ever. Elisa kissed you with a growing desperation. You breathed heavily as the kiss grew deeper, more intense. Her tongue licked your lower lip before you parted them to allow her entry. Elisa’s hand gripped your waist gently as she continued to kiss you.

You’ve kissed a handful of people after Elisa and you’ve kissed your girlfriend more than just a handful of times but… kissing Elisa was different.

You just moved naturally like you were made to be this close to each other. It felt like you two were speaking in a language only the two of you could understand. As your hands tangled in her hair, you couldn’t help but think that maybe — just, maybe — this was where you truly belonged.

She suddenly pulled away to give you two a moment to breathe. Elisa’s forehead pressed against yours as you shared a fragile silence, heavy and warm breaths mingling, each of you holding the other close as if afraid to let go. You wiped your face and realized that it wasn't just your own tears staining your face. Her tears had joined yours, tracing down your cheeks together, silent witnesses to all the emotions you felt. You felt her hands on you; her presence grounding you in that fleeting moment. Elisa was the first to break the silence, her voice low and tender.

“You’re still the girl I’ve always loved.” Those words cut through the air, and suddenly, it was as if reality had snapped back. The low hum of the AC filled your ears. You became acutely aware of her fingers under your shirt, the warmth of her body being this close to yours, the small ache forming in your chest. It was as if time had unpaused. You blinked a few times before gently pushing Elisa away. Elisa stood up, her face tinged with something close to pain and desperation, a pleading look barely concealed beneath her quiet gaze.

Yet, she didn’t say a word, letting you sit up and collect yourself in silence. You straightened your shirt and your cardigan. You brushed your hair and pat them flat with your hands quickly. Each crease on your clothes and each knot in your hair just felt like thinly veiled evidence of your moment of weakness. You cleared your throat as you stood up. You picked up your bag from the floor. You wiped your face with the flat of your fingers. You tried to regain composure even as all the emotions bombarded you. Elisa stood, facing you. She was silent and had a sad look in her eyes but you felt like there was a quiet understanding between the two of you. You took a step toward her, almost instinctively moving to hug her, but stopped, pulling back at the last moment. With a heavy heart, you cleared your throat. “I… I’ll go now.” She nodded, and you managed a shaky breath before turning toward the door, a finality to each step. But before you could take another, Elisa’s arms suddenly wrapped around you from behind, pulling you close, her chin nestled against your shoulder. Her breaths came in soft, shuddering waves, and you could feel her tears dampening your shoulder. You exhaled as you bit your lip, forbidding yourself from crying for the nth time. She held you like that for a while before finally, she said. "Goodbye, fifteen." She dropped her arms to her side. You looked up at the ceiling, preventing the tears in your eyes from sliding down your face. You took one last breath. Then you walked away.

and honest i can tell you now, i love you more than my future spouse — "i'd have to think about it" - leith ross

You brushed your hair as you gazed at yourself in the mirror. Suddenly, two hands wrapped around your waist from behind you, hugging you. “You look incredibly gorgeous, wifey.” You chuckled and rolled your eyes. “I don’t think you can call me that just yet.” You turned around and kissed your fiancé.

“Why not? I already have a ring on that finger.” She said before kissing you several times on the neck and cheek. You chuckled. “Casey!” You yelped in between giggles. “You’re gonna make me late for work.” Casey beamed. “You’re the boss now. You can go as late as you want to.” She said before repeatedly kissing you all over again as you playfully protested and writhed in her embrace. In the past year, Casey’s dad successfully completed an acquisition of a small women's sports media company, and the transition happened in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, you went from being just another content writer to the interim head of the newly formed media division, and then, astonishingly, to External Vice President of Communications. Initially, you struggled with feelings of guilt, questioning whether your rapid ascent was merely a result of nepotism. But as Casey reminded you, you worked harder than anyone else there and you fully deserved recognition. “Remind me again why you have to go to this press conference today.” Casey complained as she plopped down on the bed. You chuckled. “When in Paris…” You joked. “But seriously, I thought that since we will be here anyway, I might as well do the press-con instead of sending someone else to do it for me. Cost-cutting and all that…” She hummed in disappointment. “I hate it when you’re so responsible.” She complained. You re-applied your lipstick and straightened out the blazer you were wearing. You were finally seeing Jackie again after a long time. You two have gotten quite close since… the incident. You remembered dashing out of the hotel room and bumping into Jackie who was emerging from the elevator with drinks in hand. You two had an emotional exchange; quite frankly, you could not remember a single thing you two talked about. You just knew it ended with the Dutch girl hugging you tightly and telling you that it was all going to be okay. After that, Jackie and you had become quite close. You started off as casual Instagram mutuals. She would often respond to your stories, comment on posts, and chat with you. You hung out twice again after. You had drinks with her and her boyfriend when they visited California. Then, a spontaneous, double-date Universals Studio trip together at the end of her trip. Ever since then, you always kept up with each other's lives. You loved Jackie. Mostly because she was a great girl, partly because she never brought up the thing with Elisa without asking her not to, and… partly because you got to indirectly keep tabs on Elisa. You shot Jackie a quick text, letting her know you’d be at the press con today, as you settled into the media seats at the hotel conference room where today’s press-con was being held.

PSG had emerged as champions of the Première League in a historic win. Obviously, this meant there was a lot of attention on the team today. Luckily, your company was able to be granted a press pass to this conference despite not being a France-based company. As the other media people settled in, a staffer announced that the press conference would begin in a minute. You readied your recorder and notepad. Suddenly, cameras started snapping and the crowd started getting louder. You looked up from your seat to see the squad had arrived — Fabrice Abriel, Pauline Dudek, Jackie Groenen…

and Elisa de Almeida. You swallowed the lump that had quickly formed in your throat. You bit your lip as you took a deep breath. It had been over a year since you saw her. She looked the same but different. There was a glowy tan to her skin, her hair had grown out longer, and she had a happy look on her face, beaming with pride due to the win her team secured. You could see the pride sparkling in her eyes, and it made your heart ache in a way that felt both familiar and unsettling.

Elisa hadn’t noticed you yet, and part of you doubted she would. The press conference was buzzing with energy, reporters firing questions at her and the rest of the team. You found yourself mesmerized by how she spoke, her confidence shining through with every word. She seemed to have reached a new peak, a version of herself that was so sure of herself and confident.

As the questions flowed, you felt a small pang in her heart. She seemed like someone so distant from the person you knew. She seemed like a fully realized version of herself.

She was still Elisa but... different.

The moderator finally called for last questions, and before you could think twice, your hand shot up. The moment felt surreal, and you could feel the collective gaze of the room shifting towards you when the moderator pointed you out. As soon as she saw you, you noticed a change in Elisa’s demeanor; her face stiffened as your eyes locked. It was as if time had stopped, the air between you thick with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. You smiled weakly at her. You hesitated for a moment. “J'ai une question pour de Almeida.” You said. You were afraid your voice was too soft to hear but Elisa nodded at you, signaling you to continue. You chuckled and looked down for a moment, composing yourself. “Elisa,” You started. You looked up at her and made sure your eyes were locked. “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” The question hung in the air, innocent yet charged with meaning. To anyone, it might have seemed like a generic question but it meant more to the two of you.

She paused. You could see her go through a spectrum of emotions within seconds. Her face dropped then she shook her head in amusement then she looked genuinely pensive. Looking down for a moment, as if gathering her thoughts, she eventually lifted her gaze to meet yours again. There was something vulnerable in her expression, something that made your breath hitch. “I see myself still playing football,” she began, responding to your question in English as well with her voice steady but tinged with an undercurrent of emotion. “By then, I’d be in my 30s… I’d be considered a, uh, senior citizen in Football.” There were a few chuckles in the crowd. “I know for sure that, I’ll still be playing for the club of my life – PSG, winning more leagues… and hopefully, I’d still be playing for the national team too. I still want to be fully immersed in Football…” Her voice trailed off. She took a deep breath before continuing. “And for my personal life, I can’t say much…” Your heart almost stopped in anticipation. You didn’t know why you were so nervous but… the nature of the question and the memories of the past just made it difficult for you to remain calm. ”Five years from now, I want to be happy.” She said, eyes fixed on you and you alone as if you were the only people in the room. “I’d like to believe that I will be... regardless of whatever may happen.”

The way she said it… it just felt heavy and loaded with something you just couldn't decipher. You looked down and smiled as you shook your head, deciding it was better for you to take it as it is.

You looked up again. “C’est tout ce que je voulais pour toi.” (That’s all I ever wanted for you.) As you said those words, you felt your heart skip a beat.

The moment lingered, and for a heartbeat, it felt like the world outside the press conference faded away. You were just two people sharing a quiet understanding amid the chaos of the room. She gave you a weak smile and kept your eyes stayed locked together for too long. Later on, the moderator announced the end of the conference and the spell broke, pulling you back into reality. You broke your gaze and hurriedly gathered your stuff, readying to leave. You just felt like this was a better way to actually close this chapter… again, for the nth time. But it felt better than the last time, like you'd gone full circle.

As the conference ended, Elisa rushed towards you. She excused herself through the crowd, brushing off the journalists trying to ask more questions. You didn’t notice her make her way to you as you just rushed to get out of there and back to your fiancé. ”Fifteen,” She exclaimed out, hoping it would catch your attention. With that, you turned around. You saw her, standing a few meters from you. You paused for a pensive second. Shyly, you walked closer to her. You two were pressed awkwardly between the chairs scattered about and the people making their way out of the room. “Hey, Elisa.” You responded. She gave you a smile. “I like your hair.” She said, commenting on your haircut. “I mean… I saw it in Jackie’s Instagram story before but looks better in person.” You awkwardly thanked her and consciously touched your hair. “Oh, thanks.” There was another moment of awkwardness before Elisa began speaking again. ”D-do you wanna talk for a moment?” She said as she gestured towards the private area where her team was settling down. You hesitated but you nodded. A few people greeted her with congratulations and niceties as you made your way to a quiet corner.

Her teammates were packing up to leave. You caught a glimpse of Jackie who just gave you a smile and a wave; she seemed to understand what was happening and did not want to bother this moment. You both slipped away to a quiet corner, seeking refuge from the chatter and excitement that filled the room. The atmosphere felt charged, and the intimacy of this moment took you by surprise. “So… I didn’t expect to see you.” She started again. “Jackie never mentioned that you were…” ”Yeah, yeah,” You interjected with your words tumbling out a bit too quickly. “I’m in the city for a couple of weeks. She nodded, the corners of her mouth lifting into a small smile. “It’s so nice… seeing you again.” She complimented, holding your gaze a bit too intimately. “You look great.” You felt a warmth spread through you at her compliment, but unconsciously, you crossed your arms, as if trying to shield yourself from trying to be too friendly.

“You too… and congratulations, by the way.” You responded. “There’s a number of Lyon and Paris FC fans in the office that were very disappointed whenever PSG won but… I was always secretly rooting for you guys.” A chuckle escaped her lips, but you noticed the way her eyes flickered, as if taking in your reserved body language. She took a deep breath, her expression shifting slightly. “Jackie did mention you’re the head of this new media company,” she said, her voice softer now. “You must be… happy?” You nodded and genuinely smiled. “Yes, I’m really happy.” You responded. “And you?” For a moment, her face grew serious, and she looked down, as if gathering her thoughts and courage. You watched her closely, sensing a vulnerability beneath her confident exterior. Then, she looked up, taking a step closer. “Look, I—” she began, but hesitation crept into her words. Another deep breath, and this time, her eyes fell to the ring on your finger, the light catching the stone. ”Oh,” She said, surprise coloring her tone. She couldn't hide her reaction and her staring. "I guess there are other congratulations to be said.”

An awkward silence settled between you, the air thick with unspoken words. You felt a twinge of pain at the sudden shift, a flash of “what could have happened if it was us instead” darting through your mind. But it quickly faded as you’ve made yourself aware of the present. Here you were, two complete people. Six years ago, you left with broken up hearts after you had damaged each other. One year ago, you picked on each other’s last remaining chip, threatening to return to what you two were. But now, here you were. If your lives seemed so different a year ago… now, it seemed like you were in completely diverging paths. A quiet sadness lingered in the space between you, intertwined with a flicker of something resolute. You exchanged genuine smiles, a silent understanding dawning that this was the real closure you both needed.

Elisa’s smile softened, taking on a warmth that felt both comforting and vulnerable. “You know, I never reciprocated,” she said, her words almost a whisper, catching you off guard.

“Hm?” you replied curiosly.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, her gaze drifting as if she were contemplating. When she looked back at your eyes, you could see so much vulnerability and warmth in her eyes that it made your heart race. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

You paused, the question hanging in the air. You paused with a racing mind. There was so much to be said about your new dreams, aspirations, goals. You couldn't find the right words.

Then, unexpectedly, a laugh bubbled up from within you — unexpected but genuine. It didn't take long for Elisa to chuckle along with you. The laughter felt freeing, as if it released the tension that had built up.

You didn’t respond, but you felt like you didn’t have to. Your eyes locked together and you gave her a warm smile, feeling a surge of affection. You said, “It was so nice knowing you, Elisa." Her smiled shifted slightly with an unreadable look in her eyes. She responded with a nod and a genuine tone. “And it was nice loving you.”

i love you too much to drift completely wait for me, i'll be back because you hold in my tide i would die a thousand times just to see you in another life — "love letter from the sea to the shore" - delaney bailey

a/n: thank you for reading this fic! please reblog if you liked it! this is my first time writing angst so please be nice 🙏 anyway, this was so enjoyable to write hehe. if any of you want to see me write about anything else, just send me a message or an ask!

[hford0311]

Across the hall neighbor

Summary: Bucky is your across the hall neighbor, who you spend a lot of time with...when you're not on dates with other men. Bucky is always there to catch you when you fall and support you when you think you're on a high. Then, there was your current dating experience.

Pairings: fem!reader x oc; f!reader x bucky

Warnings: bruises, violence, mention of abuse, bucky and his vibranium arm cannot be messed with.

Word Count: 1.6k

***

Bucky listened closely - always did when he heard an unfamiliar voice in the building. A male's, flirtatious and smooth, he mentally noted and got up and peaked through his peephole. You were smiling up at the stranger as you stood in front of the door. "Thank you again," you breathed and grabbed your keys, toying with them. The male leaned down and kissed you. Bucky sighed and went back to his couch. It wasn't the first date that he watched end with you and most likely not the last. Did it make it any easier? No. No, it never did.

***

You and your neighbor were close, good friends. You ranted to him and had drinks with and the more rare grocery shopping. Nothing went beyond that, though, at least in real life. Bucky's fiction led to more but never let you know about it. Today was like most, the pair of you said hi and small talk when both of you left for work in the morning, eight to nine hours later, you found yourself planted on Bucky's couch with a drink in hand.

"I think he might be the one, Bucky." You smoothly and excitedly stated in your drunken form. He rolled his eyes and took another sip. "Yeah, okay." He stated with sarcasm. "I mean he-" he listened to your perfect date with now known man, Collin. It wasn't a new conversion. A rinse and repeat that happened every so many months. Bucky always took mental notes of the men you dated: what failed, what worked, how he turned you on or off, and other small details. Sometimes, after a breakup, when you'd end up with sobs on the couch, Bucky reminds you of any bad that the guy had and attempted to make you feel better. At the end of the however long a time period, you'd almost always end up on Bucky's couch, whether it was a great date or tragic ending.

Another two weeks went by, and Bucky noticed the quietness that filled his apartment more now. It had been a week, and he noticed your absence from his couch. He shrugged it off for a few nights before he started texting you about the newest and oddest leap of absence. Your replies filled with date details and how you needed to end the night at Collin's. When he did see you, the sleeves were all the way down to your palms, and you wore more pants than skirts or dresses. Had to be the seasons changing from fall to winter.

Then, a month. The morning small talk shortened, you were in a hurry every time. No more couch talks and drunken words thrown at each other either.

One Friday night, it drove him nuts too much. He missed you. He went to the door, glanced through the hole that showed your apartment door, and saw Collin towering over you. His mouth over your ear, hand gripping your wrist tightly. "I haven't, I promise. C'mon, let's get inside." You trying your best to speak calm, even though Bucky saw a bit of fear in your eyes. "Alright," your boyfriend grumbled, and you led him inside. More mental notes for Bucky.

Your ex-Soviet agent neighbor noticed how you came home less or even left earlier than normal over the past week. One day, he decided to do the same to catch up with you. As he locked his door, you came out. He smiled at you until he noticed the healing bruises that were exposed even under your tights. His next immediate thought was there were more under your sweater and jean jacket sleeves. "Haven't seen you lately, stranger," he jokingly chided. You quickly smiled him, "Yeah, just super busy lately with everything and anything." You replied, almost running out of breath how fast you said the words. "With, who, Chad--" "Collin...and partially, yes." You cut him off, beginning to go down the stairs. "Are you with Charlie tonight?" He quickly questioned, following you. "Collin, and no, Bucky."

"Come over tonight, we can catch up on that new show you've been begging me to watch with you." You internally cridged with guilt.

"I don't know, I'll think about it."

"We can order Chinese, the place with best rangoons." He sweetened. "On a diet, can't." You hurried out. Bucky stood defeated as you caught a cab out of the building. Never had you say no to rangoons. Nor making him watch a series, making him question what happened to humanity over the past 70 years. "Try again tomorrow," he mumbled to himself, walking towards the subway.

The following night, he woken from noises that were typically completely muffled to the point of silence for other neighbors, but not the one with super hearing. Yelling. The sounds of things being rumpled and thrown. A "get out" was yelled by you, and that's when he got out of bed, putting pants on before walking into the common hallway. He was just about to knock on your door when Collin walked out, glaring at Bucky. A second later, he saw a crying you by the door. "You ok? You wanna-" "I'm fine." You stated and shut the door before he could finish his sentence.

***

He knew he shouldn't. At the same time, he knew, he needed to. Bucky knocked on your door. His ears waiting to hear any response. Nada. One more set of knocks, two. Now there was shuffling around. "Y/n!" Bucky called with more raps. Bucky felt his heart rate quicken and his breathes deepen. Your door opened. "What do you want?" Collin stood, his body taking over the entry. Bucky had to resist the urge of punching the guy in the face. "I have some of Y/n's mail." He lied in a cold tone. "You couldn't just drop it off? Not making the hinges fall off the door?" Bucky's jaw tighten, so did his fists. "Next time." He briefly said, starring at the man that acted as if the apartment was his and not yours. "Well, where is it?"

"What?"

"Her mail."

"You know what, just tell her I have it and she can stop by to grab it when she can." Bucky started to walk back to his place. Collin rolled his eyes. "Just drop it off, she doesn't need to see you." His entire body clenched. "Listen buddy, I don't need to take this crap from you. Okay? Y/n can get her mail when you're not around." "Collin?" Your voice traveled to the hall. Collin sighed and shook his head, walking back in your apartment.

Two days later, a soft knock rapped on Bucky's apartment. He woke up to it. He raced to the door, opening to the point where he could've broken it. "Hi," he exhaled with a smile. "My mail?" You questioned, barely even making eye contact. Then, he noticed the dramatic eye make-up that was very much not your usual. "Um, yeah, about that," he pursed his lips. You sighed, "Bucky, don't ruin things over fake mail." That's when he saw it. A certain almost covered yellow greenish mark under your eyebrow. He softly touched your face, body acting before his words or maybe even part of his brain. You tried to hide your flinch. "I hit it on the counter. I was grabbing something on the floor and-" Bucky's hands moved to the end of your sleeve, pulled it up to your elbow. A combo of heeling and new bruises both the shape of finger tips and almost an entire hand. He was nearly shaking. "He can't do this to you." He growled.

The intercom from your apartment began ringing. "I have to-" You began to pull away from his soft grasp. "Is that him?" He began to stomp his way into the hall. "Bucky! Stop! He didn't mean it!" You called to him, following him down the stairs as if you could make him stop. "No! No, Y/n. Don't make excuses for him. He did mean it and no, he won't stop." His anger spewing. "Bucky, he's-" The words were no longer being heard. Collin was standing there in front of the glass locked door. Bucky pulled the door, letting it slam shut before you made it down there. A glove covered fist slammed into Collin's face, making him stumble a few steps back. More punches were exchanged, swinging arms, and you shouted at both of them to stop. "She doesn't," punch, "deserve," smack, "any of that!" Three more fist marks. "A real man" nose bleeding, "doesn't hit," a swift kick, "women!" A siren rang. Bucky took a step back Collin dusted himself off, wiped his bloody nose, and walked away. "She wasn't worth it anyways." Bucky nearly booked it, you grabbed his bicep. "Don't." You breathed.

That night, Bucky's apartment was finally filled with you again. Tears streaming down your cheeks as all the secrets of abuse were now coming out. Your makeup gone, bruised eye exposed, your arms wrapped around one of his couch pillows. Chinese on the coffee table. Bucky on the other end of the couch. After twenty minutes of this, Bucky scooted to the middle and wiped your tears. "You never deserved what he did. He didn't deserve you. One. Single. Bit." You leaned in and kissed him. His lips softly returning the action. The kiss broke and you looked into his eyes. "Give me what I deserve, James." He stroked your hair behind your ear and rested his forehead on yours. He leaned in more and sensually kissed you. "You deserve," lips connecting, "a man that," his lips trailed down, "will treat you like," back to the lips, "a queen." You hummed then giggled a little. "You can do that." He froze a little. You grabbed his chin, making him look up at you. "Bucky, you are that man."

[secretkinkz]

Can u write where it’s a age gap between Toji and reader. Where Toji is toxic, manipulative, mean to the reader and is sleeping around with other women or girls and reader doesn’t know until she checks his phone since it’s buzzing like crazy (Toji in the shower washing off one of their perfume) and reader sees them sending pictures and reader is crying and started packing when Toji is done taking a shower he doesn’t see her (reader) and sees that his phone is open and 1 week later goes to see reader. When he sees reader he gets her in bed and manipulates her and says all the good things about the other girls when he was sleeping with them.

You don’t have to I just thought of that. I love reading ur stories 🥰

Another request that I didn't see 😭, But baby. Y'all are giving some good requests. Okay so, I tried to understand what you wanted as much as I could. Here ya go sweetie..

~~~

MODERN AU

Warnings, not many: Cheating, mentions miscarriage, Manipulation, age gap (19/32) and, fem pov!

You lay in bed scrolling on your phone slowly, watching the adventures your friends go on.

They finished high school a year ago, some of getting married, or having kids, or just living the single dream. While you, on the other hand..

You were living with your boyfriend. Your parents kicked you out for getting pregnant by an older man.

"He wasn't good for you, he was abusive, toxic and controlled your mind."

Even as you begged them not to do this, they did it anyways.

They had plans for your future, plans you didn't know about but assumed you would go along.

Of course after you got kicked out, your boyfriend invited you live with him.

After 4 months of living together, you suffered a miscarriage. Toji blamed you, told you that you should've taken better care of yourself. He loved that baby, yet you let it slip between your fingers.

Cutting through your thoughts was the sound of Toji's phone buzzing rapidly. This was the 4th time it went off. Maybe it was an emergency..

You grab his phone and unlock it, looking at the messages.

{Hey, last night was great! I hope we can do it again, but not this week... I'm still a little sore. You're so big.. Here's a pic I took while thinking about you, enjoy.}

Your dry became dry, unable to stop scrolling you stare at the picture the woman sent. Her in lingerie, her... Breast...

You slam the phone down for a moment, trying to calm your racing heart.

There's no way Toji was.. cheating on you. You refuse to believe it.

You pick up the phone once again, going through all of the messages. There were multiple women, the majority of them knew about him being in a relationship.

They know about my miscarriage, he seeked comfort from them. The weeks he left me... He was busy being in the arms of another woman..

You place your hand over your mouth, muffling your cries. You had to leave, even if you had nowhere else to go. You couldn't stay here, not with Toji.

You stand up and quickly stuff your things into a suitcase, sobbing while doing so.

You had enough money for 9 days in a motel, that should do. Closing the suitcase, you quickly leave.

It wasn't long before Toji finished his shower and stepped into the bedroom, looking around. He stared at the scattered clothing on the floor in confusion.

"Y/n, what the fuck is up with the mess?" He called out, drying his hair as he reached for his phone.

Toji mentally cursed himself seeing Sabrina's message open.

He rushed downstairs, calling your name but there was no response.

"Fuck!"

~~~~

A week passed, you were struggling to get a job for a while but managed to get one at a diner. You had two days until you had to checkout, you could manage being homeless until your paycheck. You had a car, there was a free shower nearby and you could wash clothes at the cleaners.

As you were brushing your hair, there was a knock at your door. Room service?

You open the door, but once you see Toji you attempt to slam the door shut but he puts his foot in the way. "Fuck!' he hissed, kicking the door open. You fall on your butt as the door swings back and hits you right in the nose.

"Come back home." Toji shut the door behind him as he walked in.

"How did you find me?" You cried, backing away from him. "Location, you stupid fuck. I gave you time alone, now come back"

"You cheated on me, told them about the miscarriage.. I'm not coming back." You hiccuped, as he towered over you. His eyes seemed to be pitched black right now, he was pissed.

Toji gripped my arm and pulled you to your feet. "I love you, Y/n. They didn't mean anything. I-I had to cope. You were broken... So I sought comfort elsewhere. For just a moment, I promise. I never wanted to hurt you. Can't you see, baby?" He kissed you, rubbing your back in soothing motions. "Don't leave me. You're mine, I'm yours. They were a one time thing."

His thumb grazed your cheek, wiping the tears away. "I need you, okay? I was planning on ending things with them."

You close your eyes, wanting to believe his words. But you knew they weren't true. "You're lying, if you really loved me. You wouldn't have done it in the first place."

Toji's jaw tightened for a moment.

"Y/n, don't be like that.. Fuck, I really love you. But I was vulnerable.. I regret my decisions. Forgive me, I'll change."

He kissed your lips, nose, forehead and neck. "Please."

You lean into his touch, tilting your head to the side as he bites your neck gently, while his hand traces the sides of your shorts.

Not muttering a word as he pushed you towards the bed, pulling off your shorts as he kissed your stomach. "We'll try again, if that's what you want."

Soft moans escape as he presses his thumb against your clit, his tongue diving between your folds.

Pathetic, really. You spread your legs for him again, even after his unfaithfulness.

You clench the sheet, arching your back as tears fall from your eyes. Not forgiving him isn't an option, if you leave him then you'll be homeless. You refused to go back to your parents, they turned their backs on you.

You would have one last time with Toji before completely shutting him out of your life, even if it hurt. You couldn't allow him to continue hurting you.

"Don't cry, I'm sorry." Toji whispered, kissing you.

He positioned himself at your entrance, his touch was gentle and sincere.

Whispering loving words as he eased himself inside, moving slowly.

"I love you." "I'll never do it again"

He was my first love, the first person to tell me they wanted me, to touch me, the man I sacrificed everything for.

I thank him for my child, the few months I had with it.

But I can't waste my youth going in circles with him.

The night ended with slow and passionate sex but before the sun rose, I quietly left. Checking out and completely disappearing from the face of the earth.

Starting over, and forgetting about Toji. Even after his spammed messages, telling me I'd never find love. Or someone that will love me like he does.

Good, because that isn't love. It's not what I've seen. It's not like the stories tell it as.

~~~~~~~~

A/n: Zee End 😌❤️

[thefirstknife]

100% true, definitely needs to be said.

A lot of people in fandom spaces HATE when characters grow and change. They get attached to a certain version of a character that appeals to them the most, and if the character grows or changes in anyway, these people will become upset and go as far as to claim things are being retconned or whatever (especially if they change against their headcanons and like I'm sorry but sometimes your headcanons are wrong).

Drifter literally just had a character arc, and an excellent one at that. We know so much about his life. We know where he came from, how he lived at the start of being a Lightbearer, we know what he went through. We know what he lost and how, we know how much it traumatised him. His trauma caused him to close off and isolate, to keep people at bay because if he gets close to them, he will lose them again. He resented the Light and searched for other ways, leading him into schemes and unsavoury company and experimenting with the Darkness back when that was much more frowned upon and more dangerous.

He didn't want connections because he didn't trust them. He didn't trust that they would last and that he wouldn't be hurt again. Everyone who dismisses Drifter's trauma or treats it as just some cool aspect of his character is immediately suspect to me, not gonna lie. Like, yes, unhinged Drifter is interesting as a character and I enjoy that part of his life as well, but I ultimately want him to heal and get better.

It's always been presented that he wanted to do good and to help people and save them, but given his circumstances, he either couldn't or, later, he started distancing from them because he believed that his presence would make it worse. Drifter always cared, deeply. The name chosen for him even as a Dredgen was "Hope." His arc was always moving in the direction of him accepting his helpful nature and coming to terms of working with other people, having a community, and having trusted friends. That's the natural conclusion of his story. He overcomes his trauma.

Which he did! And it took years. And it started with us. Arguably, you can say it also started with Shin and the Gambit setup with the Vanguard, but we, the YW, were the true first catalyst. We didn't have any baggage around him, so we accepted who he was and we trusted him. And we were one of the people who he wouldn't lose. We stayed with him through everything so far. Through us, he realised that there's more to connection with other people than simply losing them.

Drifter's arc from someone who saw no hope for survival and was ready to leave it all behind and try his luck out there all alone to someone who gradually realised that there's strength in the pack and that there are people who care and who will help him and protect him has genuinely been one of the best parts of the Destiny story. Way too many people view Drifter superficially and have never engaged with any of his story.

This is particularly baffling when it comes from people who are allegedly fans of him. Why do you want him to suffer forever? Because, as a fan of the Drifter, I want him to have a character arc and to heal from trauma. I want him to feel safe. I want him to never be hungry again. I want him not to worry about people he cares about dying in his arms.

I feel like a lot of people just want to be able to write edgy angst fanfics. And I want a narrative: I want characters to evolve over time and respond to the changes in their circumstances.

Sorry for going off on your post, you're completely correct and this is one of those pet peeves that I have, specifically about the Drifter and how the fandom treats him and how many times I've seen the fandom rejecting his arc and his healing from trauma. Anti-recovery website, I guess. Idk, the borderline obsession with the Drifter from 5 years ago who was going through immense suffering and isolation out of fear and paranoia is kinda uncomfortable to me in the context of people saying that this Drifter was better.

It was a great start to his character! It made him really interesting and compelling! Knowing where he came from and how he started is what makes the rest of his story stand out and encapsulate the core of the Destiny's theme. He chose to change. He chose to overcome his fears and anxiety and to try. And there's plenty of characters who refused to do this; those stories are also compelling. But the Drifter was never pointed in that direction. From the very start, he was shown to be a man of hope, and care, and need to protect. He just didn't get a chance to fulfil his purpose until much later. And I'm glad he got that chance. I love seeing him enjoying his time with people and helping everyone out. It's what he always wanted.

mildly unpopular drifter opinion that nobody asked for: he hasn't been "defanged" he's grown closer to the guardian + most of the characters we see him interact with in lore, and dropped enough of his act to resign to his usual bullshit without the exaggeration he's shown to use to keep people at bay. I definitely enjoy unhinged drifter but I enjoy character development more. send post

[unnamed-atlas]

Finally finished sweet tooth s3. Having incredibly mixed feelings

[leatherbookmark]

dear god that would be turbo cringe or whatever, but seeing all those annoying little things in fics over and over again really makes me want to write one in which they're not obligatory funnymoments but rather like, words that have meaning and weight and so on

[buckleydiazmp4]

do you mind if i ramble in the tags about my weird relationship with making art in fandom for a second

[teaboot]

This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.

I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.

(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)

Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.

And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.

I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.

And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.

But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.

But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.

And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.

So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.

And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.

But what if I hadn't known how to do that?

What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?

What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?

My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.

And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?

How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?

I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.

I think I'm gonna frame it.*

(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)

[k6tzie]

COD P☆RN LINKS | PT. 3

ghost: always so quiet and reserved, seeing you like this is refreshing. so humane having ur guts rearranged after doubting your lieutenants skills! dove, you're so needy. but luckily for you, you have a patient, big bf came back from prices' baby shower now u and si want a baby of ur own, but u can't wait:( doughy ass bouncing on his long cock that no one's sucked in over a year, thankfully now ur here! sharing the captains daughter with soap<3 trusting is hard for him, so once he has you, he doesn't wanna let go warm winter fuck with ur gentle boy price: once you taught olderbf!price how to make hotter videos, he thinks he's so much cooler but that old man lives within him💔i mean look how he's holding the phone! you feel a big, throbbing thing in your tummy, hopefully he doesn't press down on it D: when u took him to meet ur parents, you just looked too good not to fuck afterwards :( as much as he loves his quiet girls, he can't say no to a bubbly one night stand now can he he didn't wanna have to do this but this IS what bad girls get... dadsfriend!price taking you upstairs during the bbq. there's so many people so no one will hopefully notice ur gone... soap: totally something soap would do, fucking you levitating 😭 first time having a crush this intense, taking sneaky photos of you, drawing you in his sketchbook, leaving you little gifts anonymously - now that you gave him a chance, he's too shocked to even do anything! honestly his dream is hot gf x loser guy he's a messy boy who likes his sex quick! so so much cum dripping out, it's like your boys' in heaven filthy gym partner can't keep his hands to himself only one person can eat you this well when you're sick, soap! gaz: your drunk sex was so good, you won't forget it even when you're sober <3 appreciating that pussy with the love and tongue it deserves so wet and tight like ur ex boyfriend did nothing at all smh, must've been tiny deeeeep in ur gfs womb! pretty boy barely ever gets angry, but when price has been on his back the whole week, and now you're giving him attitude - he can't take it anymore! hot belly bulge - who would've thought from the serene, goofy guy? graves: ah, so THAT'S how you passed recruitment i see, interesting... what a baby, never been with a real woman. actually a very soft, sensual man. don't mistake him as rough cuz of how he acts at work lucky shadow of the week gets to record the barracks bunny and graves kept trying to draw milk out of you but he didn't realise not everyone just...lactates :(he can't stop rewatching this video y'all took, how your greedy pussy just swallows his dick whole :o purposely just teasing you so he can see u angry konig: an efficient way to wake up his beautiful baby✨ his cold tongue and your warm socks make an interesting contrast🤔 he caught you masturbating all by yourself and you didn't seem to reach ur full potential :( loser!konig coded, once he finally gets his rough hands on you, it's hard letting a beauty like you go ruined ur cute little panties smh, greedy big boy mean colonel punishing his secret fuck buddy after he found out you've started talking to another person💢 bonus!!: surprise ;)

@xtrrdnrypotato @livingdead-g1rl

[nochepsicodelica]

NSFW

Toji calls you pup or puppy sometimes and you've always thought that maybe it had something to do with you being so playful and energetic at times, but those were always just your assumptions. Not a single one of those assumptions was confirmed by Toji, so you took it upon yourself to ask for the truth...

"Toji?" You call, looking up at him from where you sit on his lap.

"Hm?" He hums in response, looking away from the commercial on the TV and down at you.

"Why do you call me pup? Don't get me wrong, it's cute." You smile, feeling the warmth of the seemingly endearing name in your stomach. "But, I wanna know why."

"Mm... do you really wanna know?" You nod, bubbly giggles erupting from your chest in anticipation. You're so excited for this reveal. It's been a mystery for months. "Well, it's because you let out these high pitched, little whimpers, that sound like a puppy when I touch you, sometimes."

Glass shattered. Illusion crumbled.

Your face immediately heats up. "No... No! Really?!" You groan, shifting to lay back in his arms while covering your face in embarrassment.

"Don't be embarrassed, baby. It's cute. You're a sensitive little thing." His hand comes forward to rub your tummy over your shirt.

You huff, an audible hum of annoyance sounding out. "Well, I'm never gonna do it again. I'm just gonna stop. I'm done. Never again."

"You wanna test that out?" He asks, mischievous eyes watching your pouty expression. You nod, accepting the challenge. "Sit on my lap properly, like you were before." You shift back and sit up straight against his chest. He pulls your hands away from your lap. "Keep these here, and don't move them. Understand?" he asks, placing your hands on his thighs. You nod, again, and grip onto them.

His left hand snakes up your shirt, his fingertips teasing the skin of your stomach until goosebumps rise. It goes further up once the goosebumps have spread all over, sliding beneath the cup of your bra to rub your already pebbled nipple. So far you've only let out a couple sighs, so he adds in his other hand. It slips into the front of your shorts and beneath your panties, until his fingers make contact with your slicked up slit.

"Already so wet for me, mama. What happened?"

"It's always like this for you," you say, quietly, suppressing the urge to whimper as the pads of his middle and ring fingers rub your clit in such a tediously, slow manner. Your hands part from his thighs and attempt to grab onto his forearms, causing him to immediately pause the movement of the hand that plays with your nipples as well as the one in your pants.

"Hey." His tone is questioning of your actions, but there's the touch of a smirk on his face, like he knew you'd need more than gripping his thighs to keep you from folding so quickly.

"S-Sorry. I'm sorry."

He presses a chaste kiss to your temple. "Let's try that again."

Soon enough, those little breaths you released through your nose, became small, quiet whimpers, that you didn't think Toji would hear. He had to correct you so many times about the way you were sliding down his front. Eventually he decided to lift your bra entirely and just wrap his arm around your chest to hold you steady because of how much you were squirming.

"Toji, I'm gonna..." A louder whimper comes out, effectively bringing a victorious smirk onto Toji's face. He heard those quieter ones, but he didn't count them for your sake. You're his baby, after all.

He speeds up the movement of his fingers, his rough pads adding delicious friction to your sensitive clit. You tense in his hold when your orgasm hits, plenty of moans and those pet name earning whimpers, flooding out.

"There you go, puppy," he purrs, into your neck, slowing his strokes to not overstimulate you so fast. You grab onto the arm that's secured at your chest, your nails digging into his skin through the pleasure. He doesn't stop because you've already proven his point and he sees no reason to punish you anymore.

A few seconds pass and those whimpers return, accompanied by your thighs shutting around his hand. You curl up a little, holding on tight to his arm.

"Had enough?" He asks, stilling his hand between your legs.

"Mhm, no more," you mumble, sounding defeated after thinking back to the sounds you made and how this backfired entirely.

He pulls his hands out from your clothes and wraps his arms around you. "So pup and puppy are fair game?"

You sigh, and reluctantly nod.