#but it doesn't work on my post so fuck it it's gonna be clunky

[anaalnathrakhs]

For posterity, Tumblr’s April Fools 2023

- You can add little emoji reactions to posts!

[ID: Screenshot of the bottom of a tumblr post, to show the interactive button present. At the start of the row for the “sharing”, “reply”, “reblog”, and “like” buttons, there is a new button shaped like a simple smiley face in the monochrome tumblr style. End ID]

Complete overview with screenshots under the cut! Everything saved except moving visuals and audio elements (they’re described though!)

- There’s 7 base reactions: bug, cheese, crab, four (this one’s noisy), ghost, horse (this one’s noisy), and socks

[ID: Screenshot of the bottom of a tumblr post. The smiley face is clicked on and a small menu showing the described emojis is attached under it. End ID.]

(Hovering over them causes a small black speech bubble to appear above them, saying the words transcripted above, in lowercase. The parenthesis for horse and four are included in their respective bubbles.)

- You can add them to the post in whichever order you’d like (reblogs seem to reorganize them though, in another order than the one shown above), and they’ll appear without any number on them. Once you’ve clicked on them once, they’ll count two clicks.

[ID: Screenshot of a tumblr post by yours truly saying “test”. It shows under the row of notes and “reblog”, “like”, etc buttons a row of the described emojis in simple oval delimitations. They’re in a different order than the one used for the menu. The bubble for the bug emoji includes the number 64 and the bubble for the crab includes the number 2. End ID.]

- Clicking on a reaction multiple times in a row makes a black circle appear above it with the number of clicks written on it. The number progresses as you click more as long as there's not significant interruption and the bubble grows with each click. I can only assume it has a maximum size and it unlocks something, but i've gone up to roughly 1700 in one go and i don't want to figure out autoclickers so somebody else is gonna have to find that out.

[ID: Screenshot of a post saying “test”. Some emojis reaction are shown under it, and a black circle with the number 62 in it, large enough to reach the top of the usual buttons row, is shown above the bug emoji. End ID.]

- It also activates the effects of each reaction.

- Bug does nothing but backflips, and stops at 70 458, the amount of votes it got in the original bug race poll

- Crab dances side to side and stops at 1000

- 4 makes speech bubbles written 4 appear. Various voices saying the word four in different languages play after about a dozen clicks, all of them very whispery, except one, saying four in a very casual tone. It stops at 444

[ID: Another test post showing the emoji 4 with the number 367 in its button. Blue speech bubbles with the number 4 written in it are shown clustered all over the post interface, blocking it from view. End ID.]

- Ghost makes post go progressively transparent and stops at 666

[ID: Screenshot of a post by yours truly saying “emoji reactions” with several interrogation points, showing multiple emoji reactions at the bottom, including the ghost one with the number 272 next to it. The whole post, including the user’s icon, is lower opacity than other screenshots and looks greyed out in comparison. End ID.]

- Cheese makes melted cheese appear on the top and bottom of your post and stops at 100 000

[ID: The same post, showing multiple emoji reactions, including the cheese one with the number 132 next to it. On the top and bottom edge of the post, varying drawings of melting yellow cheese are clustered, probably around 130 though they overlap too much to count. End ID.]

- Horse makes the horsie go (circular motion as a running horse would move) and plays galloping sounds. It stops at 500

- Sock makes green stink lines appear on your post and rise up until they fade away, stops at 1000

[ID: The same post, showing reactions including the sock emoji one. Squiggly green vertical lines in various opacities are shown over the post’s interface and text. End ID.]

- Maxing out a reaction or using it a certain number of times makes bonus reactions appear. Here’s all of them in one picture, all of them maxed out (at least the humanly possible ones)

[ID: A screenshot of the used reactions interface that shows up under a post. The crab emoji shows the number 1000. The ghost emoji shows 666. The cheese emoji shows 1228. The 4 emoji shows 444. The socks emoji shows 1000. Horse shows 500. Bug shows 3334. The next emoji is a picture of a bottle of vanilla extract, and shows 999. The next emoji is a drawing that ressembles a Pikachu with somewhat human proportions and glasses, it shows 19. The next emoji is a unicorn emoji showing 7. The next emoji shows the moon in its “new” phase, darked out, with the number 223. The next emoji is a cookie, showing 999. The next emoji is a drawing of a bust wearing a business suit and having a brick for a head. It shows no number. In two similar bubbles after that, the usual “share” button and the universal “no” red sign are shown. End ID.]

- Moon appears when you max out 4 and stops at 223

- Vanilla appears when clicking a lot on the crab (over 100 times?) and stops at 999

- Pikaman appears for some mysterious reason idk, jump and loops when you hover over it, stops at 19. After further investigation, it seems to either have multiple different but very convoluted ways to summon it, or to simply be on a randomizer. I still don’t have autoclick, sue me. After further explaining from the brick himself, Pikaman allgedly appears after a certain number of bug reactions. Either this number is inconsistent or another randomized action/combination of factors is needed to activate Pikaman.

- Unicorn appears when you max out the horse reaction, jumps and loops like pikaman, and stops at 7

- Cookie appears when you click a lot (over 100?) on the vanilla and stops at 999

- Brick appears either when everything is maxed out and both bug and cheese have hit 1000 or when you combo 1000 clicks in a row (on bug or cheese likely but might be achievable on crab or sock), is unclickable

- When you hit the maximum of a reaction on a streak, a message signed by Brick appears to tell you you can't go further

[ID: A screenshot of several popup messages on tumblr. All of them say “REACTION OVERLOAD! Unfortunately, you’re hit the max of reactions you can give. Loving the enthusiasm, though! - Brick”. End ID.]

- I have somehow gotten an error message signed by Brick. No idea how to replicate it. Editing after further testing, it seems to appear when the movement of the emoji makes clicking it impossible (the no symbol being visible) despite the maximum number not being reached.

[ID: An error popup message from tumblr, saying “Oh no. This is not working! But hey, I’m working on it! -Brick”. End ID.]

- The share button gives you a reblogging page with a generated image representing the reactions used on it and their corresponding numbers over a rainbow gradient background, as well as a little flavor text tagging @brickwhartley​ and two automatic tags. You’re free to modify this reblog though, and you can back out of the page.

[ID: A screenshot of a reblog by myself. Text reads: “REACT COLLECTION” in bigger letters, as a title. Next paragraph reads: “What a gorgeous flock of reactions I saw on this post! I simply have to share it with the world:”. Under it is a picture of several emojis from the available reactions of various sizes in random places of the image, floating next to numbers over a rainbow gradient background. Text under the image reads: “I am please. Thank you @brickwhartley​!”. Under it, two tags are show, “#post reactions” and “#birck’s latest great idea”. End ID.]

- The no symbol only appears on your own posts and allows you to disable reactions. It will appear next to the usual “share” “reply” “reblog” “like” icons and you can click on it to reverse it.

TL;DR this was made up by manufacturers to sell more computer mouses. Hope you don’t have completionist tendencies. My hand hurts.

[faejilly]

so I wanted to riff off of @alexanderlightweight's response to the Alec/Bow/Quiver/summoning meta post by @ralfstrashcan that I reblogged recently, but also I didn't want it to get lost in an increasingly long reblog chain, so I'm gonna quote and start over here:

100%

my headcanon is that it's alec's shadowhunter ability like clary's rune ability and apparently the herondale ghost talking ability(??)

if we really want to take it a step further. we can even talk about how izzy has specially made weapons that have to be super tricky to use which means weapons ability

but that's just my brain. which made that one scene where alec goes back to the institute make no sense, to retrieve his bow because literally every other time he doesn't need to (they just wanted to give clace the training moment and set up the whole hodge thing)

1: I also think Alec's 'have to go get a bow' is just an excuse, but he's using it to a) get away from Jace behaving incomprehensibly & Clary being So Very Clary, AND b) to cover their tracks now that he's realized just HOW comprehensively his siblings are going to go off the rails in the next day or so. (And on a narrative level I really like the scene with Hodge so I'm glad it exists. 😅)

2: I headcanon that part of the reason Alec (& to a lesser extent but still noticeably so, Izzy) can get away with pushing so many Clave/Nephilim boundaries without actually getting deruned despite their parents being on Thin Fucking Ice™️ with well, everyone, is that they have inherited both Family Traits and that's valuable enough (especially after all the losses during and after the Uprising) that the Clave really really doesn't want to get rid of them.

(Similarly, there's some hope that Jace and/or his expected children might show signs of the Wayland traits coming to life again as they've died out otherwise. Obviously that goes a bit sideways once they finally pick up on How Very Herondale he is, but luckily he's Herondale so that's still a benefit.)

Truebloods: very literally truth-tellers. Variations on their skills include the ability to recognize lies, off the charts charisma when they are invoking what they believe to be the truth, and an ability to make the most awkward truths palatable to audiences that normally wouldn't want to engage with them. They were traditionally the guardians of the Soul Sword whenever it left the City of Bones, but that honor faded away over the years as the Council with the Consul/Inquisitor as heads centralized power in their own hands.

Izzy can be seen doing this during her trial, because even when her personal behavior has included digs & microaggressions against Downworlders, she believes that they as a people can and should do better and her speech clearly works in-universe because of that resonance of truth.

(She even occasionally manages the sincere/heart-felt clunky dialogue that works despite being clunky that Alec's so good at, and poor Jace doesn't, despite his best attempts, because for all he's a Lightwood in every other way that matters, he's not actually part Trueblood.)

Maryse has several hints of Alec's same blunt (inexplicably successful) sincerity once she lets herself stop hiding behind Politics & Expectations. When she's upset with Izzy about spending time with the Seelie in s1, she has a line that always felt very self-recriminating to me; (I'm paraphrasing here since I'm too lazy to pull up the script or episode): 'never trust a people who can't lie, they'll find more imaginative ways to stab you in the back'. She knows this about the Seelie because it's what she's always done.

(Alec's shock at his parents being in the Circle can't be because it's against their politics as they've never really tried to behave better. Perhaps it's because it never occurred to him that they could lie that well. Especially his mother, since he has a much better relationship with her than Robert.)

This means that Maryse buying into Valentine's rhetoric was invaluable to him, because she could back him up and help make sure people would fall for it, because she was a Trueblood. Equally, when she turns, that is part of why the Clave lets them back in. Her vow to now toe the party line is completely believable, because she promised on her children... who are also Truebloods.

This also means that their bloodline is one that would not always be popular since they can call out power when it's behaving badly; thus the apparent decline of Trueblood standing in the way that the show refuses to ever really acknowledge it in the present day timeline, and instead talks about Lightwood honor.

(But countered in the way The Clave doesn't move directly against Alec Lightwood, HotI, despite gay and living with a Downworlder, despite how much clear disdain he has for so many of them and their policies. They aren't willing to risk what a Trueblood could do if pushed into active rebellion.)

Lightwoods have a much more palatable martial gift. Their affinity for the adamas in their weapons means they can bond with them, sometimes strongly enough to summon them, manipulate them in the field, adapt them and rune them and enhance them in ways most Shadowhunters can't. (We never see anyone doing anything resembling Alec runing his arrows in s1 after all. What if most of them can't?)

As shown by Izzy in s3 as Weapon's Master, in Alec's ability to beat his parabatai (the supposed best fighter of a generation) when they're sparring with weapons even if he loses once they get to hand-to-hand, Izzy's unique skill with a whip, Alec fighting with everything he gets his hands on, from seraph blades to his signature bow to actual arrows for stabbing. (As seen in everything in ralf's original meta post and delightful fic.)

There's even something in the fact that Izzy was interested in joining the Iron Sisters (which while prestigious also involves even more sacrifice from a people who have to sacrifice a lot already and are thus vital enough that they let Cleophas join despite her past because they needed her) and yet Izzy stayed active duty -- and presumably eventually marriageable.

(I frequently wonder if part of why she chose to make herself as unpalatable as possible for a traditional/political match was a lingering bit of awareness that that was what The Clave most wanted from her, regardless of who she wanted to be.)

ALSO! There has to be a reason that Robert Lightwood was valuable enough to keep even when they got rid of Maryse, a reason the show reiterates Lightwood honor over and over again, a reason he & Maryse got to be co-Heads of an Institute (even if the general fanon that they were more constrained than most Proper Heads does fit what little we see), and we never actually see Robert fighting or sparring, but we are repeatedly told that his children are the best of the best.

But it's seldom mentioned as a compliment, is it? More like an expectation. They're Lightwoods, they have to be the best with their weapons, or what is the point of them? It's just another weight added to Alec's so-called crown, another expectation Izzy has to both flaunt and fight against every day so she can have at least a little bit of herself left to hold onto.

(The one thing Jace is good at, the one bit of the monster his father built that helps; he's as good with a blade as a Lightwood. It's the only thing that gives him hope for redemption, the only thing that gives him enough conviction to ask Alec to be his parabatai and protect his soul from himself.)

[autobot-ratchet]

earthspark episode 9+10!

hfgdjs I love how they've been building up ghost as this super skeevy morally grey organization that's using the autobots to further their anti-con agenda but they're all just cringefail losers, including that one dude from earlier who was hunting Twitch

"it's been 30 years! well, 15 for you." okay so I'm completely justified in feeling weird about everyone being so cool with Megatron lmfAO he was absolutely doing decepticon shit on earth within recent memory

THE BUMBLEBEE SUIT........

I love how we're slowly but surely playing with the idea of gender-swapping more and more bots (in particular, swapping from male to female since yknow. there's like 1000 male bots and like maybe 20 females if you really scrape for the obscure ones lmfAO)

I barely have anything to say about this scene, this is just some good, good action lmAO

as much as I poke fun at Dr. Mandroid, I am immediately interested in his villainous angle here, especially in tandem with ghost's deal and Optimus and Megatron's moral dilemma, I'm seeing the overarching themes, I am the noticer

fhdsjak come on Op you gotta pinky-swear

aw I'm glad Optimus arranged things so that he can still go with the Terrans, I was fully prepared for him to have to be like "eermmm sorry, I know I pinky-swore, but actually I gotta go do ghost things you know how it is." also more Megatron-Dorothy time hell yes I'm so ready

oh I LOOOOOOOOVE how Dorothy holds onto Megatron's leg as he walks, like it's a practiced motion they've done a thousand times oughgjdsfgu I forgot how much I love human/bot relationships my fucking neurons are ACTIVATED

oh shit these spider droid things can do it all

GET HIS ASS DOROTHY

ooh tell me the LORE mandroid, he hates literally all parties involved and I wanna know why, spill the teeeeaaaaaa

there's that spidery symbol again (edit: I was playing Earth Wars and saw that symbol again in that game, it's Quintus Prime's crest lmAO I kinda thought it was gonna be Tarantulas-related since I know his ass is in this show somewhere)

"go ahead, kids, you got the touch." and the fuckin synth music kicking in shut uuuUUUPPP

the ember stone, huh? I did call it a matrix rock before but it looks absolutely nothing like the matrix lmAO so yeah that's fair that it's an entirely different object

I love that they wrote Alex to just. have transformers as a special interest, I love how it works in both canon and meta, I love transformers lore lmAO

once again crossing my fingers and praying for the cyber sleeves to equip the human children with weapons to protect themselves

uhhhgfhdsj I'll come back and edit this post with what the cybertronian writing says later, I wanna watch right now lmAO besides I'm willing to bet it says the same thing the wall did, "in times of need, help shall rise to your call," that fits for this situation (edit: it does not lmfAO it says "Evolution of hope.")

OH NEW GUYS, THAT ONE'S NIGHTSHADE RIGHT THAT'S MY FELLOW THEY/THEM USER HIIIIIIII

oh shit they actually caused a cave-in

happy birthday kids, now escape mortal peril lmAO

oh of course Nightshade's a little fruity with it lmfAO also I gotta say, I'm pleasantly surprised by the masculine voice, usually when an agender individual shows up in a piece of mainstream media, they're very clearly feminine/afab since the general cis population thinks that agender people are just weird and quirky women and have a hard time grasping the concept of amab folks being anything other than Male so I'm happy to see this

I love that everyone else in the show also just calls this dude Mandroid lmfAO like even during serious scenes, they're not even dunking on him like I am, he really did just fuck up his introduction forever

"he or she just doesn't fit who I am" oh it warms my heart to hear that in a mainstream transformers cartoon aaaAAAAAHHHH..... and I was afraid they'd handle that in a really clunky way, especially when I heard that a character literally says the words "Nightshade's pronouns are they/them" in the script, but that felt natural enough in its canon context. also I do feel a tiny bit of vindictive glee at them specifically saying "he or she" is not correct, cannot TELL you how many times I've seen people use "he or she" to refer to a group of people when "they" would've worked just fine, just REALLY letting me know you think there's only two options

ohhh hearing Optimus prime respect someone's they/them pronouns has my heart soaring lmAO it feels like my veins are filled with liquid sunshine, feels good feels right feels organic!!! literally every time I start doubting my gender and thinking I should just go back to presenting as cis, I hear someone refer to someone else with they/them pronouns just casually like it's not even an issue and the gender euphoria goes DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!!! and like truly what choice do I have but to be more of a they/them than ever lmAO

I said it before but I love how involved Dorothy is with the action in this show. It always made me happy that June got to be part of the team in transformers prime but she was a doctor, not a fighter. I am specifically glad that Dorothy is fucking shit up in this cartoon lmAO it rules

ooh interesting, his base moves??? or is it invisible, I know he's got that kind of tech

aww Alex...

omgdhfasjk the seven billion text messages...

I am a fucking sucker, that whole "the color purple" thing got me good lmAO

fghsdjksa good fake accent, Hashtag

DFGADHJSFDGHDJSF THE SPARKLY ANIME YURI FLASHBACK..... purple is apparently also the color of lesbian airplanes, first Slipstream now Skywarp lmfAO

this man's lips are so fucking dry y'all gotta stop zooming in on them

OH THE BASE DOES IN FACT JUST FUCKING MOVE LMAO

oh hell yeah, love the heart-shaped explosions while they kiss lmAO

oh my god Mandroid really does have history and beef with EVERYONE, how the FUCK does he know Alex???

Twitch is just collecting dads like it's a hobby

ooh shit we got spilled energon

girl you better know what the fuck you're doing, I actually like you you better not die

YEAAAHHHH FUCK HIS WHOLE DAY UP

"is every day like this for you?" FOR REAL LIKE Y'ALL HAVE BEEN ALIVE FOR HALF A DAY AND ALREADY YOU'VE SEEN ALL THIS SHIT

aww I'm glad Optimus finally got a dub, he's been getting yelled at this whole dang show and now we finally got some tangible progress on the kind of thing he's trying to achieve, good for him, good for everybody

[bioticbooty]

20 Fanfic Questions

Tagged by @swaps55. Thank you!

Tagging @cr-noble-writes, @theoriginalladya, @ad-astra13 and anyone else who feels so inclined!

How many works do you have on AO3?

9

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

233,7802

This doesn't include WIP wordcounts which are so much higher

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mass Effect primarily. A little Dragon Age from time to time (mostly one shots). I have a Fable III WIP and Stargate Atlantis fic that's only on ffnet (and I refuse to go back to ffnet it's become a trash fire).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Crosshairs - Mass Effect 1 slow burn shenko. (This version will be abandoned as I've been doing The Great Rewrite because the characters and my Shepard have evolved over the years, but I like having the old version up for comparison.)

Lightning - Mass Effect 1 fshenko smut with a wild card Shepard who would blow up a small moon if she was asked to fix a microwave

No Strings Attached - Pre-Mass Effect 1 fsehnko fluff and smut, which started as smutty prompt (what if Kaidan and Shepard had a one night stand on shore leave before ME1) and turned into this Whole Big Thing

Brace for Impact - Mass Effect 3 AU where Olivia Shepard is not an Alliance Marine because Mindoir was never raided so she never lost her family. And yet, fshenko because love always finds a way.

Sine Qua Non - Mass Effect/Pacific Rim crossover with fshenko, Kaidan and Shepard have a service history and then end up on the same Jaegar class fighter in the drift together.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Sometimes it takes a while, but I always respond to everyone before I post a new chapter because I want everyone who took the time to write me something that I really appreciate their words!! I also do it because I miss the old days of fandom community where comments flew around left and right, and I want to encourage that in my own little corner as best I can.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Color the Sky - The Blitz, Shepard is on shore leave with her partner when the slavers attack. This is the story that cements the belief that she's better off alone because the people who get close to her die.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't think anyone is happier in a finished fic of mine than Alexis Shepard and Kaidan in No Strings Attached when the finally find each other again after having pined after the other for literal years.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Only once, and it was transphobic garbage. "It's clunky and bad for reading to use these wierd fake pronouns introduced to make people feel better about themselves." I told them no one was holding a gun to their head forcing them to read the story and then locked the comment thread, because comment section battles with people who are already coming at it from a place of not actually wanting to understand is a waste of my time.

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind?

Sometimes, not that often anymore, and part of that is I can never just write smut without their being fluff and emotions and connection (see above: No Strings Attached turning into a 20k+ fic for a one night stand smut prompt). Part of this is because I am ace as fuck and the desire to have sex with people every second of the day because they're hot or whatever is just so utterly foreign to me. It has to feel right in the story. And if I'm gonna write just a smut story, you can bet there are thousands of words of background lore I wrote to make the smut happen on the page.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Very few. I think the only published one is the Mass Effect/Pacific Rim crossover. So by default, that one!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

None translated.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Once, with some friends over a decade ago (on ffnet). It was fun but also stressful, and I probably won't do it again. It really has to be the right people, and this group I did that project with was a good group and also very kind and generous in giving over the reigns to each other. But I've also grown more stubborn as I've gotten older. It can work, but unlikely I'll ever do it again.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Shepard and Kaidan, to the surprise of no one.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I would like to finish Never Surrender, my Stargate Atlantis WIP that is partially published. Part of that will involve migrating it over to AO3. I'm so enmeshed in Mass Effect and The Great Rewrite that I don't know that I have time for that WIP right now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and combat.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Bridging scenes together. I get way too in my head about it, especially when characters are just sitting in silence for a moment.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I would love to do this and maybe could do it in a rusty, limited capacity with French, but it has been ages since I've spoken it in any useful capacity.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Trek Voyager. I've long since lost this story, but it was writing a bisexual and (though I didn't have the words for it at the time) asexual Seven of Nine.

Listen, I don't wanna say I was prophetic but have you watched Picard? Case settled.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Choosing is hard!!!! Also I have so much unfinished, unpublished stuff that is my favorite but sticking to things that are published out there on AO3, it would be No Strings Attached. Shepard and Kaidan find unexpected happiness, then pine for a couple years because they were trying to pretend they weren't in love, and then the find each other again on the Normandy. They're nerdy dorks. They get to be the lighter versions of themselves and let go of expectations for a few days with each other and be a little reckless (and deeply, unapologetically romantic).

I also wrote that story in like 6 days while high off my ass on cold and flu medicine with a raging fever of like 102.

[esc-is-holding-me-hostage]

The annual pre-show quick-fire "reviews"

Guess who procrastinated for a month and a half on this post!

Albania An Albanian song starting with a woman going "AaAaAAaaaAAAAA"? Groundbreaking. Duje is a very run-of-the-mill Albanian folk power ballad and at this point, I'm kinda tired of these.

Armenia Music good, lyrics clunky.

Australia It is, dare I say, alright.

Austria A song that everyone thought is gonna be a musical shitpost turned out to be an absolute fucking banger, god bless.

Azerbaijan I'm not sure whether I actually like it a bit or it's just me being happy that Azerbaijan has finally let local artists write their song. Now wait until the twins flop and Azerbaijan goes back to swedes-for-hire next year.

Belgium It's fine.

Croatia Is it weird that I don't have much to say about a song like this? Mama ŠČ is shocking the first time you experience it, and I do like the layers of interpretation, but it's not something I want to return to after a couple listens.

Cyprus Imagine Dragons-ass production, ugh.

Czech Republic It's pretty good but I can't fully enjoy it because of the fucking controversy. Look, I think that the girls had the best intentions in mind when writing My Sister's Crown but didn't realize that singing about Slavic unity and "choose love over power" while having a russian member might come off as problematic. Classic ignorance over malice. Still, I wish they had someone Ukrainian-speaking in the band, at least temporarily for ESC.

Denmark This type of "uwu cute softboy" music is not my thing, but eh, it's fine, I'll let zoomer kids have this one.

Estonia Well someone had to fill the ballad quota this year.

Finland It's crazy, it's party, I'm going to throw hands if it doesn't win the televote.

France Fulenn flopped so now we're back to being aggressively French. Evidemment is a bop, I like it.

Georgia It feels like they had a song that made sense in Georgian and then asked a third-grader to translate it. I'm not opposed to silly lyrics in general, but Echo is clearly trying to be meaningful but then fails at basic english grammar.

Germany "We have Rammstein at home". Blood and Glitter is fine but, I dunno, it feels a bit too "smoothed out". It just doesn't go hard enough (bold words from a Slovenia stan, I know).

Greece The most remarkable thing about this entry for me is that I've been watching Eurovision for longer than Victor has been alive.

Iceland Wish Diljá stuck with the Icelandic version.

Ireland I didn't mind We Are One at first but with every listen it just kept getting worse. This is such a formulaic, cliche, cheesy love-love-peace-peace wet napkin of a song. I've already complained about Portion Boys making a generic "eurovision unity anthem" for UMK but at least they tried to be funny. This one feels like a lazy attempt to game the system WITHOUT KNOWING HOW THAT SYSTEM ACTUALLY WORKS.

Israel My god, so much hype before the song's release and we got this? There are so many parts in this song but somehow forgot to put in a proper chorus, it's like Sekret all over again.

Italy L'essenziale is the one Italian ESC song that I always forget about. And now Due Vite is bound to join it. Eh, at least my mom loves it.

Latvia Didn't care about it when the Supernova songs first dropped, but now I'm vibing with it so much.

Lithuania It's okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. The "Čiūto tūto"s saved it from being totally forgettable.

Malta Somehow they've managed to find a half-decent song in the pile of garbage that was MESC. It's alright but I wish that I liked it more.

Moldova So "token pagan rave song of the year" is a thing now, huh? Glad to see Pasha's back.

The Netherlands It starts off really boring, but picks up around the second verse and becomes pretty good by the end.

Norway I think I like it but for some reason, my brain doesn't register it as a song??? It's hard to explain, but I don't see Queen of Kings as something you would listen to without some kind of visuals.

Poland Ughhhh. It's basically impossible to judge Solo on its own merit, but I'll try. And my impartial judgment is: I don't like it. Rigged selection or not, I just hate this kind of songs in general.

Portugal One of those songs that I like a lot but don't have anything specific to say about.

Romania The song's okay, and the vocals are good, but the staging is just beyond tacky. Dude, you can't pull off this type of cool, sexy image while looking like a wimpy history major freshman who barely ever shows up to class.

San Marino ... I'm a Piqued Jacks apologist now. Yeah, the lyrics are cringe, but the music? I enjoy it absolutely unironically.

Serbia "I just wanna close my eyes And just get it over with"

Yeah, dude, me too. The most relatable song of the year.

Slovenia I've jumped on the Joker Out hype train as soon as they were announced as Slovenia's participants and I'm riding that train all the way to Liverpool. Favorite song of the year.

Spain Hey, spaniards have finally gotten an artsy song about motherhood as their ESC entry! I have similar feelings about Eaea as I did about In Corpore Sano last year: absolutely mesmerizing on stage, but not something I would listen to casually.

Sweden She's gonna win, ain't she? I mean, Tattoo is fine, and the staging elevates it immensely, but it's such a predictable winner. I want more INTRIGUE, okay?

Switzerland Oh wow, boring AND tone-deaf? Switzerland is breaking new ground this year. I initially placed Watergun 31st but since then it sunk to the very bottom. Like, someone wrote this song, sat on it for several years, and decided that NOW is the best time to send it to Eurovision. Nothing against Remo, but "war bad, i don't want to go to war :c" is uhhh, rich coming from someone living in fucking Switzerland.

Ukraine I can't shake the thought that they first came up with a standard "I'm so cool, you can't hurt me, idgaf" song and then retroactively tried to give it a deeper meaning.

United Kingdom I don't even think it's a bad song and yet I lowkey hate it. It's the beat, it's driving me nuts for some reason. People hate the spoken word part, but I like it because you don't hear that bloody "dun-da-da-dun" for once.

[hidingoutbackstage]

Okay aside from my hatred for how it treated Eveline, the DLC also just, wasn't great? And didn't matter? Spoilers below the cut

Okay so getting big thing out of the way: The DLC takes place before the 8 epilogue of Rose at Ethan's grave. Meaning that everything we see doesn’t matter. Rose was never going to lose her powers, she was always going to escape the mold mind palace (btw I’m gonna call it “mold mind palace” this whole time) and it just felt cheap to have the ENTIRE epilogue shown at the end. Like just show her on the bus, we know this scene. I kept waiting throughout the scene to see if they would show us anything new or different, but they didn't. That ending was pointless.

K was also such a nothing character. I speculated that it could be John, since the two characters' faces are similar, but it wasn't. Rose calls him K. John's HWS name is Lobo. If it were Dion she was meeting, that nickname might make sense (K9. There's actually a file in 8 that refers to Canine with that shortened nickname so it would've been possible) but Dion obviously doesn't look like this guy. Not to mention the reveal that he was never there doesn't do anything for us. We knew nothing about this guy, had no attachment to him, so Miranda tricking Rose the entire time means nothing to us. If it had been an actual former HWS member, or, hell, CHRIS then we might have felt something.

Also just the insinuations that 1) Chris is STILL leading HWS 16 years later 2) they're inviting more people to be part of HWS 3) HWS hasn't been shut down yet despite them having been a rogue team when we saw them operating in 8 and they went straight to BSAA HQ, meaning they probably would've received some consequences for going rogue and 4) they've asked Rose, a 16-year-old, to join their team, are all absurd

The DLC is also just really lazy. They recycle ideas, like Miranda using illusions to trick someone into seeing a person that wasn't even there, they recycle models, like seriously Evie looks exactly how she did in RE7, and her model there wasn't great and was still super clunky here and she wasn't proportioned like a child, and they reuse her tantrum animations from 7, they recycle locations just making things more messy or adding the new bloody mold goop to indicate this is the mind palace and not irl. They're lazy with Miranda's motivation too, like there's no reason for her to need Rose as a vessel for Eva anymore. If Eva's consciousness was truly in the mold like Miranda believed, then great! You're in the mold now, Miranda! Go find her! Why are you wasting time with Rose?

The "Michael" mystery was stupid. There was no real reason for him to not reveal himself to Rose right away. It wouldn't "complicate" anything, in fact she'd be more likely to trust you. He kept telling her to turn back, meaning if she had listened, they never would have gotten to speak, which is kind of what Ethan wanted. He wanted her out of the mind palace, safe, even if it meant he never saw her again. She probably could've taken solace in speaking to her dad, even if it wasn't face to face. Also the wording of "Not an enemy" was sooo dumb. Say you're a friend! Say you're family! "Not an enemy" makes her even less likely to trust you, because you aren't being anything reassuring to her right now

The game also tries way too hard to tug on the heart strings, and it doesn't work. I'm gonna bring up Evie here a bit although I'll do my best not to. I do not feel bad for Rose. As a long time fan and player of most games in this series, I can name more characters who have been through worse shit than Rose has than I can count on my fingers. Actually I will, this is my post, fuck it, feel free to skip the list

Sherry was orphaned at 12 and was infected with a virus that nearly killed her, then was held captive in a strange man's house for eleven years, that's 5 years of her adult life still in captivity, before gaining a false semblance of freedom by being forced to become an agent, on one of her missions was kidnapped and tortured for 6 months, and oh yeah her body stopped aging at 20

Manuela was infected with a disease that should have killed her, lost her mother at 5 years old, nearly died several times during DC, became an orphan at 16, and was locked up after being rescued because she still had powers and was still infected. Despite controlling her powers, she was not given any freedom, because the government was cautious (KEEP THIS IN MIND FOR LATER)

Claire, Chris, and Leon are all orphans, Leon definitely when he was a child, Chris and Claire it's up to speculation. The three of them went through the horrors of the early games as young adults, Claire only being 19.

Jill was kidnapped, brainwashed, and forced to become a murderous slave for a genocidal maniac who she sacrificed her life to try to kill

Ashley was kidnapped multiple times, infected, and had her body taken control of by another person against her will

Natalia was an orphan (WHO WATCHED HER PARENTS DIE BTW) who was isolated from her peers, kidnapped, tormented for months by Alex, experienced hallucinations, had an adult woman try to take control of her body, and despite having seemed safe, apparently is still suffering ptsd or worse from what Alex did to her. She was adopted by a normal family and treated like a normal child, but she was still safely monitored and there's no indication she had a normal social life (KEEP THIS IN MIND FOR LATER)

Lisa Trevor was kidnapped at age 14, became an orphan when her parents were killed and she was infected with a virus, and went mad as she was continually tortured and experimented on until her death at 35 years old

Alexia and Alfred Ashford were given a life of comfort, but were still an experimental vanity project that their father enacted because he was in love with one of his ancestors, which they learned of at only 12 years old. Alexia willingly infected herself at age 12, Alfred was forced large political power at that age, and went insane without his sister there to support him, and when Alexia woke up from cryo sleep, the first thing she saw was her brother's dead body

Eveline was created to be a bioweapon. She was never given a choice as to if she had these powers. She was younger than her ten-year-old physical appearance, because she was aged up artificially, she was tortured, abused, forced to kill people with powers she couldn't control, and denied any source of comfort despite having the wants and needs of a child, and she was murdered by a man who called her a little bitch as she cried and lamented why the world seemed to hate her.

Now. What struggles does Rose have? Why, her dad is dead and kids at school call her a freak, of course! Now Isn't that sad? Don't you feel terrible for her and can't wait for her to pick off Eveline, who was taunting her, like a bitter child would?

Also yes you read that right, kids at school. Rosemary Winters, who shows physical proof in public that she is an actively infected person who cannot control her abilities, is allowed to attend public school and receive childish bullying. Un-fucking-realistic. Such bullshit.

Like I said, they lay on the pathos thick. There is an entire section, with no real gameplay, as you walk around the house from the beginning of 8 as you get to hear Ethan's voice and Rose's commentary on things her dad said because wahhh isn't it sad that Ethan died? They tell you how Rose feels through dialogue instead of allowing the character to feel for the obviously forced pathos. The letter was also written way too on the nose to try and tug at some heart strings. The ending where Rose talks to Ethan (while still HILARIOUSLY obstructing his face) goes on for too long and not a single line isn't something sad/sweet/sappy to try and get in the audience's feelings. (Also Rose bringing a physical object of Ethan's ring out of a MOLD MIND PALACE makes no sense but w/e)

Okay but is the gameplay at least good? Nah not that either. You get two weapons, a handgun and a shotgun, the occasional pipe bomb, and Rose's freezing powers. Now I know that this is a DLC and of course there doesn't have to be a lot of content, but this was pathetic. There are only two real puzzles either. The playthrough I watched was 3 hours long. The only part I thought was really scary was running from the Mia mannequins, but gameplay-wise they're like super easy to defeat.

The story jumps forward 16 years for no real reason. We don't get any insight into this new world Rose is living in, 16 years from the current furthest point in the timeline, we meet no new characters except for K who we can't really assume told us anything real since he was an illusion. This story was unnecessary, a mess, none of the gameplay was spectacular, and it went out of its way to torture and villainize a character who had already suffered in life, not even giving her peace in death. Really shitty DLC, really bad time.

[fontasticcrablettes]

Yuri for that ask game thingie

And re: the follow-up about just choosing random numbers, I have a whole evening of nothing planned today so I'm just gonna do all of them because I love rambling about characters.

My first impression of them - First impression was just "chill guy." I liked him from the beginning.

When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like) - Like I said, I always liked him, but I can pinpoint the m

A song that reminds me of them - Defying Gravity from Wicked. I especially think the opening dialogue between Glinda and Elphaba could be given to Flynn and Yuri respectively with very little change.

How many people I ship them with - Hmm 3? 4? And then a whole list of "Hey that sounds like a fascinating dynamic let's talk about how to make it work for a bit" like Yuri/Leblanc or something.

My favorite ship of them - Yuri/Judith! The first time I played Vesperia way back in 2008, that is the only ship I thought about all game, and I still like it best.

My least favorite ship of them - Of ships that I have actually seen, Yuri/Karol for... obvious reasons.

A quote of them that you remember - There are so many good Yuri quotes, but off the top of my head, I like, "Wouldn't it be crazy if a monster just gobbled up your foot right now? Just a giant munch, and oops, no more foot." Fucking Yuri.

Your favorite outfit of them - Aloha Boy rights. Fashion disaster? Maybe but it's fantastic.

Your least favorite outfit of them - The Gold Blade. Yuri looks odd in full armour and it seems a bit clunky.

Describe the character in one sentence - A normal dude trying to figure out what to do with his life who really doesn't want to be responsible for saving the world (tough luck buddy)

What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character? - His sense of humour and sarcasm

Sexuality hc! - I don't have a solid one. His sexuality is whatever works best for the ship I'm currently writing/joke I'm making. Across all the fics I've written, he's been gay, bi, straight, and aroace at least once.

Your favorite friendship they have - Loooove his friendship with Flynn. Favourite part of the game.

Best storyline they had - All the vigilante stuff in act 2 before it was tragically ignored for the rest of the game.

Worst storyline they had - This is part of the best, but the writing around the confrontation with Judith and then talking to Phaeroh is really missing a lot and gets messy

A childhood headcanon - He never had a stable home growing up. He got passed around the lower quarter to whichever family could afford an extra mouth that much, until he was around 10 and decided he didn't want to "burden" people anymore and lived on the streets with Flynn

What do you think their first word was? - "Hi"

How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc) - A little brat. Fiercely independent, trying to grow up too fast, always sticking his nose into things and getting into trouble.

The most random ship you've seen people have with them - Yuri/Alexei is a really weird ship to have die-hard feelings about. Who would even ship that, eh? Who? Weirdos, that's who.

A weird headcanon - He's colourblind and mostly wears black and grey because that's the one palette he can't fuck up.

When do you think they were at their happiest? - Post-game, honestly. His childhood was rough, then the three months he was in the Knights were probably happy in the beginning but quickly soured, and then the three years since then has been a lot of wallowing without a destination and grappling with his inferiority issues. Post game, he finally has direction in life, a little found family, worked things out with Flynn, and living his best life.

When do you think they were at their lowest? - Possibly when he left Halure by himself until the others reconvened with him in the Quoi Woods. He's in the middle of a feud with Flynn, he hasn't accepted yet how much his friends care about him, he thinks he's not a great person because he's a murderer, and now he's trying to come to terms with the idea of killing Estelle.

Future headcanon - When he's in his 30s, and all those back-flips and rough fights he's been in start catching up with him, he turns into The Old Man and suddenly understands why Raven called himself old. Karol teases him endlessly.

What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone? - I think it bothers Yuri more than he's ever told anything that he doesn't know anything about his father.

When do you think they acted the most ooc - Like I previously said, the writing between Judith and Phaeroh feels like it's missing something. There's a scene of character growth missing to bridge his perspectives in those two scenes.

When do you think they were being "themselves" the most? - Any time he's alone with Flynn, he lets his walls down the most. I think this is truest at Aurnion, when he gets to have a fun sparring match, banter with an old friend, and then have a good heart-to-heart with him.

If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet? - Completely randomly but, Elle Woods. I think it would be hilarious.

The most unnecessary thing they ever did? - Every single time he starts a fight by dramatically flinging his sheath into the distance.

How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?) I love the idea of Yuri being a dad. He's such a big bro the younger party members already. However, I think he would be reluctant to be a parent because of his insecurity. He doesn't want responsibility, and the fact that he didn't have parents growing up means he's afraid he doesn't know what they should be like. But generally I think he'd be very chill. He doesn't do baby talk or pet names, and his kid just called him "Dad" rather than 'daddy' or anything like that. He's the "cool dad" who doesn't impose many rules and believes that as long as the kid proves they're trustworthy/being safe, they can make their own decisions.

The funniest scene they had? He has a lot of funny scenes but the play in Nam Cobanda Isle is really great.

[famdommcfanface]

Doctor who thoughts! I just have to get this out of my system every week and it's easier for you for me to put it in one post. I actually wrote this when I was watching it first time round.

Wow, Bel! I know a Bel. Nice to see some Bel rep

Those are... kind of proper daleks? Not quite? They're a little shiny, I don't know.

That was so clearly a bad idea why would you walk out in the open like that

Oh, speaking of which, even more characters. Yay. I wouldn't be usually concerned but Chris always just puts too many in then they don't get enough time.

I quite like this internal monologue, I don't know.

If that's the fucking time vortex I'm going to murder someone

Okay it's not

I love how she just shouts 'no!' because she hasn't even learnt his name yet

Wait!!!! Parallel universe doctor???? Kind of???

Why does Dan get to be a companion while what's his name doesn't

Oh no I'm confused now. What is happening.

I like Diane. Shame she'll be dead soon.

Ooh big forest of the dead vibes here. I bet it won't be as interesting but hopefully less creepy

Wow BIG forest of the dead vibes

WAIT OH MY GOD I okay this is kind of cool.

Shipping Yaz and her hypothetical police partner who wipes salad dressing off her cheek

I like the hall but it doesn't look like Gallifrey. I thought he was from Gallifrey

The grand serpent. That sounds cool.

Thing is you can't say ravagers and not expect me to think of Minecraft things

Yay! I heard swarm and azura weren't going to be in this episode.

Ruth doctor! Oh wait this. I forgot this story was going to be resolved.

We've covered this doc. You've had your memories wiped.

Yes you do have a lot to figure out there's only three and a half episodes left and you have so much to sort out

Oh him. We gonna find anything out about him this time???

That dude is high af

I don't like the blue swarm (oh. Swarm.) it looks like someone's not animated it properly idk.

I still don't really get what the flux is. Am I meant to?

Those Cybermen are in such shoddy lines. They would march in better lines than that.

Tigmi is going to murder someone at some point.

Go onnn who's she talking to

Oh my god I love the grand serpent I bet he's only going to be in this episode I hate that.

Chibnall can really write those queercoded villains huh. He's really worked that out.

Oh why can't Sonya just like video games??

Future??? Cool

Why is this bit with the angels in the video game actually hilarious for some reason

Stfu Sonya Yaz just broke your Playstation or something

Wait why does swarm look like that, I don't like that. Is that even swarm. Where's my sexy swarm. I don't want old swarm

No I do not understand what passenger is

Oh thank you for that exposition Chris.

*chanting* Shada! Shada! Shada! (I know it's not going to be)

I don't like this anthropisation of time.

Swarm what the actual fuck are you talking about

Why is Azure still kinda sexy but swarm isn't.

This gives me the vibes of that dalek prison from you know that one

Okay but I feel like the Mouri might actually be bad? Like imprisoning time sounds like a bad thing idk?

No! Bel! I care more about them than most of the main characters. I really like their ship too.

Why do the Cybermen have spikes on their shoulders 😂

Hang on how has Bel gotten the Cybermen to talk?

Yeah Bel we're aware of the flaw in the (primarily dalek) plan

Oh I wanted a handles situation.

They never said a gender or even that it's romantic so I'm expecting a 'plot twist' with Bel

I'm just watching Vinder being like 'I would never argue with the fucking evil dictator you fucking idiot'

VINDER YOU IDIOT FUCK YOUR OATH

Okay at least he regrets it he's not so much of an idiot.

This is fairly clunky Vinder backstory but I don't mind it.

Vinder if you have kids I'm going to be very mad at you doing what you did.

DAN KARVINISTA SOULMATES I'M SORRY

Doctor you've already had this character arc twice now.

I think they can force you out they pretty much are time.

Ooh exposition time

I like this woman she seems cool.

Okay this is giving me crack vibes and it took me about five years after the end for me to understand that.

Doc don't be mean to Yaz. Fuck you.

Yay! Sexy swarm is back!

Oh I really hate this space v time shit it makes zero sense.

Yaz has been wearing the same outfit for three episodes now which I'm grateful for because it's a great outfit.

Okay he's not a time lord then. Shame.

Wait he might be

Okay he isn't.

Stfu doc be nice to Yaz

TRIANGLES!

Ooh. Wait it was just a romantic relationship with a man. Ah well I like Bel anyway, that's fine. Her and Vinder would be sweet. Vinder is kind of annoying but hey.

Oh my god that fucking exposition tho.

Wait that means he won't have a romantic storyline with Yaz! Result.

Yaz is playing that new phone game about the weeping angels. I played it, it's quite good.

Again, the weeping angels just piloting the TARDIS is weirdly hilarious.

Claire in the past! Period clothing! Awesome. I love period clothing.

[rxkuyo]

hi! i hope i can share my opinion? i think the problem with ubi is that they're always trying to sell something and "gives us content" in a hurry, bc they know that people are gonna buy it anyways, while rockstar literally spends a huge amount of years to produce ONE game, bc they actually want it to be good, even tho they know that people are gonna buy it. rockstar doesn't really care what we think, they mostly want to be proud of their work.

Sure. [I mean I’m usually really just here to make semi-serious shitposts rating pixel-equines in video-games; rather than actually discussing or seriously rating games (mostly because I suck at expressing my thoughts in a comprehensive way)] But like, that aside I think you’re point is clearly valid.

 I could literally write pages worth of praise for what rockstar did with rdr2. Without even really touching on story-aspects, you know. Like they just managed to make this game such a great immersive experience; with all the attention to detail that went into the worldbuilding/wildlife ai/characters etc; it makes the map feel very ‘alive’ and fun to explore without feeling the need to stuff it with mostly copy-pasted bandit-camps or other shit to clear out for the sake of ‘not having an ‘’’’empty’’’’ map’. *cough,cough - assassin’s creed *cough. Talking about maps brings me back to my original post, aka the ‘horse problem’.Because I am a horse person and I can’t help myself. Like rdr2 had this incredibly well done horse ai (for video-game standards thus far) and in a game that has the player spent a whole lot of time traversing a map on horseback; good horse ai is an important factor for like overall game immersion imo. Now assassin’s creed has this horse ai that just, moves super clunky, riding mechanics feel off, and the horse models themselves barely resemble a horse that is on par with ubi’s overall graphics (not even touching the fucking unrealistic coat variation ubi is presenting in their games) so like travelling on horseback in ac-games, to me, is like totally immersion-breaking at this point and makes travelling a chore, rather than fun. But yeah; don’t wanna rant on for too long here. I just ? I think ubi’s games like generally, have a lot of potential; but they are so rushed and poorly executed that they just end up falling flat, which is kinda sad ngl.