#but it doesn't tear your soul apart?? so yay?

[lady-hibiscus]

CHAPTER 3 IS OUT AT LAST

[cherimoyatea]

❧ Rafayel - Eternal Bond

Pairing: Rafayel x You Synopsis: You meet Rafayel in another life. But again, you have no memory of him. Word Count: 1.447K Tags: different timeline/alternative universe, christmas season, romance, a little angst and hopelessness, rafayel is a stranger to you, tears with comfort in the second half Side notes: It's December, yay!❄️ Swear, I almost lost my sanity editing this fic over the past three nights! Every time I thought I was ready to post it, I'd find something else I wanted to add or change, and felt like I was starting from scratch all over again. Please, don't expect a cozy Christmas story. My life's been going too smoothly lately, and I need a little angst in my life.

December.

Somewhere, sometime, on this vast planet.

There is an unwritten story no one knows about. Another life you lived long before you met the mesmerizing Lemurian in Linkon City, you know today. You still don't remember your past lives, the never-ending cycle of birth and rebirth—and the pain and loss it brought, pulling you away from your beloved over and over again.

You always hear someone calling out to you. A voice echoing deep within, while a name you don't recall, lingers on your tongue, aching to be spoken aloud...

It's the reason your previous relationships fell apart: You always felt like the red strings of fate kept drawing you away from their lives, making it impossible to find love.

After another failed date, you're on your way home, pulling your coat tighter around yourself as you shiver in the biting cold. The city is abuzz, with everyone enjoying the colorful Christmas decorations and cozy atmosphere of the festive season. Suddenly, a sweet melody coming from the display of a jewelry shop, catches your attention as you almost walk by the decorated shop window.

You stop in your tracks and walk closer to the jewelry shop to admire the creative, Christmas-themed display, showcasing engagement rings and wedding bands. Maybe love isn't written in your story. Maybe you're one of those unfortunate souls who are never meant to find their soulmate. It's times like these when bitter thoughts cross your mind, and you can't help but feel a little hopeless about your future.

You let out a deep sigh, your heart as heavy as the clouds above you, as you lay a hand on the cool glass of the store window. A faint smile forms on your lips as you watch the little Christmas figurines dance in the display, twirling pirouettes and moving their tiny limbs to a familiar, festive jingle.

''That's the wrong ring, cutie...''

You snap back from your thoughts when you suddenly hear someone's voice and turn your head toward a young man. His eyes are glued to the same display as he stands there, keeping his distance from you—his hands leisurely tucked into the pockets of an expensive-looking coat, with a thick scarf draped around his neck. Is he talking to you? Taken aback by his words, you glance around to see if there's anyone else he could be referring to.

But there is no one else here except for you and him.

''Uhm... sorry, what did you just say?'' You ask, a bit confused, subconsciously removing your hand from the window and brushing over your ring finger, feeling the metal under your fingertips. The ring doesn't serve any particular purpose; you wear it simply because you think it's pretty.

He nods slightly towards the figurines in the display you were just looking at, his hands still in his pockets.

''I said, 'That's a nice thing, truly...''

The young man replies, shifting his head toward you with a smirk, and you immediately notice his extraordinarily beautiful eyes—eyes that remind you of the setting sun, just when the evening greets the night and paints the sky in shades of pink, purple, and blue.

''O-Oh... yeah, right.'' You reply awkwardly, quickly turning your gaze back to the store window.

Strange. You could have sworn you heard something else just now, but it was getting late, so maybe your mind was playing tricks on you.

Pretending to watch the dancing figurines, you shift your gaze back to him, and a warm feeling rushes through your chest as you secretly admire the attractive lavender-haired man. He doesn't seem to notice that you're stealing glances at him while he's busy watching the christmas display.

''Say something! Anything, you idiot!'' You scold yourself internally.

Something is urging you to approach him, a peculiar force pulling you toward him, not wanting him to leave just yet. Shifting on your feet, you let your eyes wander over him, searching for something to start a conversation with when you notice the sketchbook tucked under his arm.

''Are these... do you paint?''

The young man follows your gaze and nods with a smug grin, holding up the sketchbook and opening it. ''Yeah, you could say I like painting...'' He holds the sketchbook toward you so you can get a better look at his art and your eyes widen surprised when you notice a striking resemblance to the little figurines displayed in the shop window. ''But aren't these the same as...?'' You mumble and blink twice, your eyes going back and forth between the sketches and the figurines.

These are undoubtedly the same designs.

Seeing your confused expression, the young man chuckles with an amused glint, shimmering in his eyes. ''You're the observant one, aren't you? The shop owner is a friend of mine. I designed this year's Christmas display for him.'' He explains, a hint of pride in his voice as he hands you the sketch, his bright eyes lingering a little too long on your stunned face.

Taking the piece of paper from him, you're about to express your excitement when you overhear an elderly couple, walking past both of you. ''Ah, look, dear! They're probably choosing wedding bands! How adorable!''

Your face turns bright red, and you quickly turn around, flustered. They obviously mistook you for a couple. ''N-No, that's… we're not...'' You stammer, trying to explain, but the couple simply nods at you with a warm smile and continues on their way, leaving you speechless.

Still flustered, you turn back to the artist, only to realize that he's gone. Huh? Wasn't he just standing next to you? Confused, you step away from the jewelry shop and look around frantically, catching a glimpse of him disappearing into a crowd of people.

''Wait! Your sketch!'' You shout after him, but it's too late: the sunset-eyed man disappeared as quickly as he had appeared.

Disappointed, you glance down at the piece of paper in your hands, realizing you didn't even ask for his name. Even if you tried to call out to him, what name would you use?

Your eyes trace over the sketch and as you instinctively flip the paper over, your heart almost skips a beat; On the other side, is a draft of a girl who looks just like you! ''What... but how...'' You wonder, your mind racing as you take in the details and your gaze falls on the signature, right there on the bottom of the paper.

''Rafayel...''

You whisper softly, and the instant the name leaves your lips, a warm tear rolls down your cheek, followed by another wave of warmth flooding your heart. You don't know why you're crying, why your heart feels like it has finally found its missing piece, its home.

Why it feels like your soul just remembered something you shouldn't have forgotten in the first place.

A cold flake melts on your warm cheek, and you look up, realizing it started to snow...

Your eyes fly open, and you quickly sit upright in bed, your cheeks damp with tears, your chest heaving.

A dream? A dream!

The soft rustling of the sheets draws your attention as your beloved stirs beside you, his beautiful eyes opening and concern etched on his sleepy face as he props himself up on his elbow.

''Hmm… what's wrong, cutie?'' He mumbles, still half-asleep. ''Did you have a nightmare?''

Wiping away your tears with the back of your hands, you nod, trying to ignore the stinging pain in your chest. Why does your heart feel so heavy all of a sudden? ''I was so lonely because I didn't remember you.'' Trying to steady your quickened heartbeat you inhale deeply before continuing.

''We were gazing at a Christmas display, and you handed me a sketch... then you disappeared.''

Rafayel falls silent for a moment, watching you intently as you tell him about your dream. The lavender-haired man reaches out to you, humming softly as he wraps his arms around your body and gently lays you back into the sheets. ''Close your eyes and go back to sleep... it's alright, I'm here.'' He whispers, caressing your back to soothe you and pressing a tender kiss on top of your head.

His mind drifts back to that one day in December, when he met his beloved in another life—hopeless and alone. He remembers how he had accidentally forgotten the sketch in your hands, a thoughtful act to initiate another meeting. And then more meetings after that, just to stay in your life and help you remember.

No matter how many times you forget your eternal bond, he will always find a way back to you.

It's his silent vow to you.

Thank you for reading!

Cheri 🍒

[file-unknown24]

Where could he be?

Matty woke up just like any other day, he stretched as he sat up in bed "Good morning Stanley! Did you sleep well?" He asks excitedly to his doll, creation, and only friend, though when he looks to the nightstand he keeps Stanley on, he's not there

"Stanley?" He calls out as he begins to get out of bed "Oh! Are we playing hide and seek? You know how much I love games!" He says excitedly

*He's not there* *He left?* *He never liked you* *He was only there because you forced him to be there*

The voices began to speak these harsh words to Matty within his head

"NO! No... He's just playing a game! That's all it is and I will find him" Matty said this to himself more then the voices

*Then after we can have a tea party!* *I'm tired of tea parties* *GASP! How could you ever get tired of tea parties?!* *Oh yeah, it's our unbirthday!* *Stanley's too*

"And that's exactly why we must fine Stanley!" Matty said this after he got dressed in his usual mismatched attire "Now where to look first?"

*Under the bed!* *In the kitchen* *Outside!* *Maybe we should just go to sleep?* *Why bother?* all the voices say at once

"Oh! We'll check the bed first!" He says this as he looks under the bed "Stanley~ Are you there?"

*I can't see him, can you?* *We all see the same things idiot* *That was mean.* *I don't care*

*Oh quit your arguing, you're just going to make this take longer then it should!* Matty said in his head to the other voices, he then got up after realizing Stanley wasn't there "To the kitchen!" He called out and then he left his bedroom

*Can we eat?* *Is that really why you suggested the kitchen?* *If I hadn't, then we would've just ignored how we're hungry* *We'll eat when we have our tea party!* *I just want to sleep.* *We know you crybaby, shut up already!* *Now that wasn't very nice, you don't talk like that on someone's unbirthday* *Every day is our unbirthday!* *Exactly.*

As the voices bickered, Matty began to search the kitchen. He looked on the table, under it, in the cabinets, even in the fridge

*Wait- we have a fridge?* *How else do we keep the cake cold?* *Well the rest of this setting doesn't have technology, so it just seems off* *There's a talking cat and mouse, and we talk to living doll that we shoved the soul of our protagonist in, and you're worried about the fridge?* *Ok, fair point*

"He's not here" Matty says, his patience wearing thin

*Wait- n-now let's not go and do something we'll regret* *Shut up crybaby, I want to see how far he takes it* *Oh no.* *What about our tea party?* *Let's just sit down and have our unbirthday party!*

Matty doesn't pay attention to the voices as he goes out the front door "Stanley~ I'm tired of our game of hide and seek, so, come on out~" Matty says this with his usual happy go lucky demeaner faltering

He looks around to see if he can see Stanley "Fine then. I will tear this entire world apart to find you if I have to" He walks over to his table he uses for tea parties

He traces his hand along the table as he begins to hum. He hums in a way to make his voice echo through the entire forest, almost like a warning.

He suddenly stops

"Stanley! There you are!" On the opposite end of the table there sits Stanley

*Oh thank goodness* *Aw, now that's just boring* *Yay! Now we can have our tea party!* *Happy unbirthday Stanley!* *Now we can properly go back to bed*

Matty runs over and picks up Stanley and hugs him "Oh I was so worried. Haha! You really scared me, I was almost going to destroy everything to find you! Now then, let's have our breakfast cake, hm?"

As Matty walks back into his cottage, in the trees was a cat and a mouse "I told you we wouldn't be able to do it" the mouse says "It was worth a try at least" the cat responds

"Next time let me plan the rescue mission" the mouse says "Fine." the cat concedes to the mouse's request

With that, our little story ends. I do hope you liked it! (I know I sure had fun writing this)

Have a lovely day/night, bye <3

[mama-ghostie-61542]

yay

And now here we go with the guilt. Yippee!

There have been memories I am westling with tonight. At the end, I'll leave two links, but I'll tell you this bit; I have felt like this for years, literally YEARS.

Now, I don't mean to be weird, but when I write about Haka, I am trying my best to get the memories out to let them go. Sometimes, it doesn't quite work.

Yes, I wrote a fic about KiKi and MX about four years ago. I honestly thought he was Haka. (Sorry, Kik.) However, it was when the Ancestors smacked me in the head and, in effect, pointed over his shoulder and said, "Not him. Him." I didn't realize at the time that there were zero synchronicites, not even one. Looking back, I get it, now.

That said, Haka's frequency is so close to my own that it's hard to tell them apart sometimes. He gets upset and I feel it. It's like having a belly full of angry bees and not knowing why. Case in point, when Yoongi was bawling during that last concert, I wasn't paying attention as I was working, ended up knitting half the night. However, I had a weird 12 hour stomach bug that put me off food. I was trying to drown the burn in my belly with copious amounts of coffee and felt like I was running on caffeine and fumes. I found out the next morning while checking messages.

Subsequently, he is ALWAYS telling me I can't do that; run full bore on no more than caffeine and emotional fumes. Jokes on him, though; I've been doing this for the last 30 years. And before you say anything about crazy, I probably am. It's possible that I have gone half crazy from the pain alone. Trust me when I say I would not wish this on anyone. To this day, I'm not sure if this is a gift or a curse. Because, the simple truth is, that I would never want anyone else to experience some of the shit the Universe has put me through. No one should ever feel like their soul is tearing into pieces. Like it's being ripped out while you are still using it.

And it's not like I haven't tried to set this circus down and walk away. I have tried so many times, I've become a pro at it. Check out the first verse of New Medicine's 'Can't Help Myself'. Explains it pretty well.

And about the memories, Haka's scream as I crossed the veil sounds like Xu Kai in 'Wonderland of Love'. Look at episode 39, between 6:28 and 7:11. Haka sounded like that, except where Xu Kai is talking, Haka was rocking and sobbing, "I'll find you."

Pain like that stays with your soul. You can't shake it. Love like that, leaves it's mark, it never fades away.

[falle-ness]

for the music ask: 7, 35, 40? love your blog! ❤

Heyyy, thanks for the questions) Tumblr's acting out, so I'll answer it in no particular order.

35. what are your favorite songs/soundtracks from movies?

Oh. You really had me thinking there. I mostly love instrumental OSTS and the musicians who write them: Audiomachine, X-Ray Dog, Two Steps From Hell. I just never usually pay attention to the songs... Unless they're really special. But that's very rare for me.

One of my fav movies of all times is the Scent of a Woman. And the tango scene always gives me tingles.

I also like Dangerous Minds starring Michelle Pfeiffer. And every time I hear Gangsta's Paradise, I think of this movie and the message it sends. So powerful.

I'm a big fan of James Bond franchise. Handsome men, hot women, spies, guns and bombs, and exotic sceneries, yay! I'm a simple girl :D

Here are the ones I love:

This one is very sexy. I don't know why, but damn, it's asking for some handsome guy to strip his clothes off))

I love the opening visuals, and lyrics are so fitting.

I'm listening to Billie from time to time, and was glad to discover she has written this song. Longing and angst my fav combo.

Everybody knows this song ;)

40. are there any musicians whose lyrics you particularly tend to like?

I'll just give you some examples so you get a feel of what I'm listening to :D

Grandson - Blood//Water

Bishop Briggs cover of Never Tear Us Apart

We'll never get free

Lamb to the slaughter

What you gon' do

When there's blood in the water?

The price of your greed

Is your son and your daughter

What you gon' do

When there's blood in the water?

Placebo - Because I want you

I was standing, you were there

Two worlds collided

And they could never, ever tear us apart, oh, oh, oh

Papa Roach - Hollywood Whore

Fall into you is all I ever do...

When I hit the bottle 'cause I'm afraid to be alone.

Tear us in two, tear us in two, tear us in two

7. what is the best concert you’ve ever been to?

Cocaine nose and trendy clothes,

Gotta send her to rehab.

She found out she's got no soul,

But it really doesn't bother her.

I've been two times (in 2013 and in 2015) to Papa Roach concerts. I've been their fan since my teen years. They're alternative/rock band, now their music has shifted into experiments, but the alternative vibe is left. But I've fallen in love with them because of their early songs-heavy both in sound and in context.

2013 was fiiiiiiireeeee - the venue was amazing, and I was pretty much close to them, considering it wasn't a VIP but a fan zone. I even got to cop a feel of Jacoby's (Papa Roach's frontman) ass lmao :D There were concrete tables around us, so Jacoby could just walk on them around the 'pit' where the fans were. And he happened to finish one of the songs near me :D

2015 was amazing, but I didn't like the venue - it was a nightclub, the sound was not really good, and I occasionally watched the concert through the smartphones of other folks in front of me :/ Tbh, I'd ban the phones at such places-why the fuck do you need to videotape that???? You're fucking missing the heat!!!