#but it did make me feel bad today like damn i hope she doesn't think i blew her off | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yolli-es · 6 months ago

Note

I love jinx she’s my everything and my comfort character so I’m really insecure not even in normal insecurity like I’m on an deep level and I have a really bad eating disorder was wondering how would yandere! Jinx handle that I’m insecure about everything about me and i hide all my body I can’t eat or look in mirrors if I did I’ll break them (you don’t have to do this request I think it’s absolutely ridiculous also I’m okay I’m in therapy now)

Is it my fault? 🧊

Tags: NO spoilers for season 2, mention of blood, theme of uncertainty.

Well, I was gone for quite a while, lol, but I was able to fight off the teachers and come back 💪🏻 I hope you are glad to see me again, and I also have to say that I wrote about this from my point of view, and I am sorry if I did not understand your state of mind. This topic is not so close to me, and I really tried 🙏🏻

Jinx knew from the start that something was wrong. You were always too shy, closed off, and scared. You never exposed your body. The world saw nothing but your palms and head. Is this your style? No, you always look embarrassed when your clothes suddenly ride up and just a little bit more is visible. She thought that society, all those people around you, were to blame for everything. They must have just rammed their shit into you and are enjoying themselves. Jinx won't let them trample you that easily! But nothing changes even when you become a couple and Jinx becomes your rock and protection from any unwanted contact. No, she cut you off from the world. Seeing your insecurities seemed right to her. Jinx just makes your life easier, doesn't she? You didn't change.

It seemed to only get worse.

Mirrors. It took Jinx a moment to realize you were doing this. Everything in Zaun was broken, even the people. And yet there was something strange about the mirrors in your house. She resisted for a long time and attributed everything to her new quirks. Then she counted the number of cracks on all the mirrors you could reach. And she knew. Her stomach twisted, her pupils dilated, and she wanted to pass out. No, she was going to do it right now. You were breaking mirrors. Everywhere you could reach. How could she not notice? There's blood in the cracks that can't be washed away. Damn, did you do that with your bare hand? No, no, no.

"It's my fault."

It took all her strength not to lose the last fragments of her sanity. She honestly didn't understand why. You weren't threatened, you didn't talk to anyone, and you were always under Jinx's supervision. Unless....no. She would never have affected you like that. Jinx held back then and didn't tell you anything. No matter how much Mylo screamed, Claggor was right. This would scare you; she had to act rationally now. She needs to give you time and herself time too. Jinx needs to know the real reason for your behavior. Now she will be even more attentive.

Jinx had no idea then that the broken mirrors were just the tip of a deeper problem.

You rarely dine together, usually having to eat on the run or while working. But today is a special day—your anniversary. You've been together for a year.

Jinx bites her lip, Her nails make an audible sound as they scratch the tray with the rich cake on it. She baked it herself. But right now she's not thinking about the cake or even the anniversary. Jinx can't sleep, can't work, and even explosions don't bring pleasure. What else are you hiding? She's been watching you for weeks now after she found out about your horrible habit, but Jinx still hasn't found out anything new. But there's something else going on with you, something she doesn't know about. She feels it. Mylo chuckled. Jinx hissed. She smiled tensely before starting the conversation.

"We've been together for a long time, haven't we?" She forced herself to smile, but it came out ragged and menacing. "I mean, we're like family now. Do you consider me your family?"

Jinx, trying not to make it too obvious, leaned forward. It looked menacing. You certainly noticed it. She's just trying to keep herself together, not to give away the pressure that's built up inside her.

"Hmm, yes, Jinx, I've told you that many times! You mean a lot to me." You smiled, sincerely as always.

But Jinx doesn't believe you now. No, she just can't. Anxiety, fear, and misunderstanding are eating her up from the inside.

"Good," Jinx sat down on the chair, creaking it closer to the table. "Then let's eat."

But Jinx doesn't even try to start eating, just looking at you. A new thought flashed through her mind. Strangely, despite her obsession with your existence, she's never watched you eat.

"Are you okay? You're looking at me like that," you swallowed nervously. The atmosphere was definitely not friendly.

"Oh, sorry," she didn't even try to put on a happy face this time, "start without me."

You hesitated, looking down at the plate. Jinx carefully cut a small piece of cake and placed it right in front of you. It was fluffy, with lots of cream, and covered in food coloring. It looked beautiful and delicious. You picked up a fork and began to break it into pieces.

"So.. how's your work?" You looked up, suddenly more confident and clearly in high spirits. This confused Jinx. She responded without really thinking. Her gaze was glued to you and your hands. You didn't like it and began to distract her in various ways. This had been going on for ten minutes now, and you still hadn't put a bite in your mouth.

Jinx's eyes, which had been looking at you emotionlessly until now, suddenly narrowed in concern. And you realized. Your seat suddenly became uncomfortable, and the room was hot.

"You don't like it?" Jinx asked quietly, cautiously, almost scared. Shyness, hiding your body behind baggy clothes, breaking mirrors, and not wanting to eat your once favorite cake. Was it ever your favorite? It seemed like the puzzle was coming together in her head.

"What? Oh, no! I'm just not hungry." You were caught off guard. Is this the end? Has she figured it out, and is she going to leave you? Will she be angry or cry? You couldn't stop thinking, going over all the possible reactions Jinx might have. Unfortunately, your girlfriend wasn't stupid. She noticed it was evident on her face. The trick that worked on everyone else had no effect on her.

You can't eat. Every time you eat something like this, your conscience gnaws at you. You want to spit out everything you ate.

"I'm so sorry," was the first thing Jinx said. "I'm sorry; I should have noticed. Are you... is this because of me?" Jinx spoke softly, but there was no hint of tears on her face. There was no emotion at all. You were hurt by what was happening. Any reaction she might give would hurt you.

Jinx is about to explode with emotion. She's trying so hard to be "normal" right now so you can rely on her to open up. It's heartbreaking, but it's having the desired effect, and you're plucking up your courage.

You took a breath. This is going to be hard.

Of course Jinx thought she was just taking shitty care of you, cruelly ignoring your problems and leaving you to suffer alone.

But that's not true. You never shifted responsibility to others, realizing that you were simply insecure in yourself. You certainly met shitty people—more than you wanted. But who in Zaun pays attention to them? You just suffered from constant comparisons to others and couldn't do anything about it. You honestly fought with yourself, your shyness, and other shit that was dragging you down. Jinx only helped you along the way, without realizing it. Every time she proudly held your hand walking along the busy streets, every time she unashamedly said, "Yes, this is my future wife," and every time she ignored the advances of a conventionally beautiful girl.

Your silence and her speculations brought you here.

And yet you came to understand Jinx. How could it be otherwise? She will never let you go.

But you will never want to leave.

"Oh, I'm always here," Jinx hugged you, and you did the same in return. It was a pleasant ending after several hours of relentless altercations. You were silent, whispering, screaming, crying, and didn't understand each other. But now everything became clear.

Jinx, on her yandere side, is not ready to leave everything just like that. Now in your house there is only one whole mirror, specially stolen from Piltover. You often eat together, and Jinx tries to make each meal as relaxed for you as possible so that you simply forget about the food itself. She will definitely not let you go, love you less, judge you, or make the situation better by force. Not with this problem. She will do everything you ask to make you feel better.

Jinx loves you.

In her strange way.

That's all! I hope you haven't forgotten about me 😅 This work is quite short, but I hope I was able to convey the main points and mood.

#arcane x reader #jinx x reader #arcane jinx #arcane jinx x reader #jinx arcane #jinx x fem!reader #arcane #arcane headcanon #arcane league of legends #arcane netflix #yandere jinx

276 notes · View notes

larluce · 1 year ago

Text

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace Thank you for your beautiful comments! And for the ones that gave me ideas, trust me, I'm taking them into account ;)

LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 (You're here) , PART 9

A little more of "The Dragon's Call"

Arthur: (at the feast waiting anxiously because Merlin is supposed to save him from "Lady Helen" to become his servant today and he isn't there yet)

Uther: Are you alright, Arthur?

Arthur: (too quickly) Yeah, right, excelent, never better.

Uther: You've been acting strange lately.

Arthur: (thinking) Well it's not easy to act normal around your dead father and your dead sister who wanted you dead. (says) I just haven't been sleeping well. I had... nightmares. Very long nightmares.

Uther: I see... (Thinking) I hope Morgana's condition isn't contagious.

Merlin: (Finally arrives with Gaius at the feast)

Arthur: (turns and his eyes find Merlin's almost immediately)

Merlin: (Thinking, while he looks at Arthur in the distance) Why is he looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?

Arthur: (Noticing Merlin is without his neckerchief, and he is so young and so beautiful, and he doesn't have his neckerchief on!) Gods have mercy!

Morgana: (enters in her breathtaking dress)

Merlin: (stares at her, but with a mix of longing and guilt)

Gwen: She looks great, doesn't she?

Merlin: (smiling sadly) Yeah...

Gwen: Some people are just born to be queen.

Merlin: (almost shouting) NO!

Gwen: There's no need to sound so disturbed.

Merlin: (composing himself) I'm sorry just... I think she could do better than Arthur that's all. (Thinking) And with someone that is not her brother.

Gwen: He's not so bad.

Merlin: (confused cause Gwen was supposed to agree with him) What do you mean? He was bullying a servant only a few days ago!

Gwen: I remmember. You confronted him about it.

Merlin: See? A total prat.

Gwen: And he also recognised his mistake and apologised. And he didn't arrest you for insulting him in front of his knights though that's technically treason.

Merlin: Okay, maybe not a total prat, but still a prat. (Thinking, worried) He was too nice indeed. Perhaps I was too harsh on him this time?

Morgana: (seeing Arthur is watching in Merlin and Gwen's direction) Have your eye on someone?

Arthur: (Cold) No.

Morgana: (playfully) Is it Gwen? or perhaps-

Arthur: Let's sit. Lady Helen will arrive at any moment (goes to his sit)

Morgana: ... Sure (thinking, while she goes to her sit) What's wrong with him?

Uther: (making an announcement) We have enjoyed 20 years of piece and prosperity....

Arthur: (thinking, resentfully) 20 years of genocide and lies.

Uther: ...It has brought to the kingdom and myself many pleasures but few can compare to the honor of introducing Lady Helen of Mora.

Lady Helen: (enters while people clap)

Arthur: (looks at Merlin in the distance)

Merlin: (very concentrated with his eyes on the chandelier, waiting for lady Helen to stand under it)

Arthur: (smiling to himself, thinking) So that's how you did it.

Everyone falls asleep, except for Arthur who does feel sleepy but is still slightly awake for some reason, so he gets to witness when all the room is filled with spiderwebs and Merlin uses his magic to make the chandelier fall over Helen, who is soon reveal to be Mary Collins.

Arthur: (confused) What... (thinking) Why didn't I fall completely asleep?

Merlin: (whose magic hasn't been able to freeze time since he traveled back in time, but he doesn't know why) Come on, come on! (Tries again to stop time but doesn't work) Damn it! (Shouts and runs to Arthur) ARTHUR!

Mary Collins: (throws the knife at Arthur)

Merlin: (covers Arthur with his body on time and the knife stabs his back)

Arthur: (horrified) NO! (Holding Merlin as they fall to the floor) No, no, no, no! You idiot, what were you thinking?!

Gaius: (running to Merlin) Merlin!

Uther: Who is this?

Gaius: My ward. (checks Merlin) We need to move him to my tower as carefully and quickly as possible. I can't pull the knife out here, he'll bleed to death.

Merlin: (smiling weakely at Arthur) I did it. (Tears of happiness) I did... (Starts closing his eyes).

Arthur: (panic mode) No! don't you dare die on me! (carries him as Gaius instructed) You're going to be okay, you're going to be okay. Stay with me (thinking) Please, don't leave me again. I just got you back. I can't lose you again.

Time skip. Merlin wakes up in Gaius's tower and with his wound bandaged. The knife didn't puncture anything important, but apparently the blade was poisoned. Fortunately, it was a pretty common one and Gaius took care of it rather quickly. Gaius scolds him for scaring him as expected but then hugs him gently and tells him he must not do any effort for at least 2 weeks and rest. Just as Gaius leaves for some herbs, Arthur enters to check on him.

Arthur: Better do as he says. I can't have my personal manservant injuring himself.

Merlin: Personal manservant?

Arthur: My father, the king, decided to reward you for saving my life by granting you a place at the royal household.

Merlin: (happy inside, but pretending to be annoyed) As your personal manservant? Couldn't he just give me gold or something?

Arthur: (playing along) Most would consider it a great honor.

Merlin: Well, I'm not like most people.

Arthur: (laughs a little) You certainly aren't. (Gets close and checks him out little, cause he's never seen Merlin without a shirt before and damn it! is hard not to stare, but as soon as his eyes land on the bandage, he turns serious) What you did was very brave... and stupid. You shouldn't have done that.

Merlin: (still mocking) If that's your way to say "Thank you for saving my life", well, yeah, I'm starting to regret saving your royal ass.

Arthur: I'm serious. Now you're my manservant, therefore my responsability and my concern. You're not allowed to put yourself in harms way, ever, not even for me. (Thinking) specially for me.

Merlin: (bewildered at the sudden concern) Is that a rule?

Arthur: It is now. Do I make myself clear?

Merlin: (touched, he smiles) Yes, my lord. (Thinking) I would die for you a hundred times over.

Arthur: (Thinking, a wave of nostalgia invading him) "My lord"... how much I missed that. (says) Good. Now get some rest (starts leaving, but stops and turns) And Merlin.

Merlin: Yes?

Arthur: Thank you for saving my life. (Makes a small bow, smiles and leaves)

Merlin: ...

Merlin: Did he just bow to me?!! 😨

...

Some explanation: Arthur is now, not immune, but a little more resistant to some mind spells since his mind is from the future and has already passed for all those spells before. Merlin's magic is kind of weak, because the ritual Arthur did used the magic from the tree, therefore Merlin's magic to do the time travel thing, so lets say his magic is a little exhausted and needs recovering, but it just last a few days.

#merlin bbc #bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #merlin fanfic #merlin fic #merlin prompt #merthur fic #arthur and merlin #merlin and arthur #merthur prompt #Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

557 notes · View notes

pretty-red-garnet · 2 years ago

Text

Sparkly Blues

Daryl Dixon x fem! Reader • Pre-apocalypse/Prison • Fluff/Angst

I’m not really sure how I feel about this one. I kept going back and forth about it and deleting parts and then rewriting and blah blah blah. But it took way too long to write, so I’m posting it anyway lol. I hope someone enjoys it. Also! I’m taking requests! So give me some for our love Daryl. <3

You had met Daryl by bartending. You were new to the town and it was the only shit job you could manage to get. You were staying in the small Georgia town to take care of a sick family member, and all the money you could get was needed. Even if the job sucked.

It was the hot spot for the local bikers. The patrons you were forced to deal with were all seedy, loud, and rude. You had to stop a bar fight at least twice a night, and got groped and flirted with at least a thousand times. You had only been there a few weeks and you were about to quit. If you thought your sick aunt could make it back to your home town, you would've packed her up in a second.

But then Daryl showed up, in toe with his rowdy older brother. They sat at the bar, and one flash of his sparkly blue eyes and you were hooked. Your heart did one hard thump and your knees just nearly buckled. Damn he was cute.

"Hey, give us two pints!" His brother demanded, his eyes also blue but lacking the sparkle the younger man had. Lacking what made his eyes so pretty. His were empty and had blown pupils. His demand broke your daze, and you rushed to give them their beers. You smiled lightly at Daryl, who just avoided your eyes. You could just barely see in the dim lighting his face was a little pink.

At closing, you questioned your coworker about the brothers, mostly to learn more about the cute quiet one. She paused her wiping a table to look at you with confused eyes.

"Merle and Daryl? They've been coming for years, they go on hunting trips a lot though. That's why you haven't met them," she explains.

"Sooo... who's the quiet one?" She gives you a questioning look with a brow raised.

"You mean Daryl? Daryl Dixon?" She had asked.

"Is Daryl the really cute one with pretty blue eyes?" She laughed and rolled her eyes. "What? I'm serious!"

"Y/N, he's a Dixon," she said, like that was all the explanation you needed. You raised your brows at her to keep talking, she rolls her eyes. "They're no good. Believe me."

"He seemed plenty nice to me..." you say with a shrug. "Quiet, shy, he even thanked me! I mean I think it's the first 'thank you' I've gotten since I got hired."

"Daryl isn't bad I guess. He doesn't really talk to anyone." You nod and when she stops talking, you nudge her. "Y/N believe me, maybe he was ok today, but he's gotten in his fair share of fight. He doesn't say much, but when he does, it's usually yelling. And he's Merle's brother, who you should really stay away from."

"Damn," you mumble with a sigh. "He's really cute though." She laughed and slapped your shoulder.

"This isn't the place to find boyfriend material." She sighed dramatically and fumbled with something behind the bar. You looked at her with a puzzled expression. "But it is the place to drink!" She slams a hefty bottle on the bar and you laugh.

When the weekend rolls around the Dixons come again. You try to snap yourself out of your daze and do your work, but it's a little hard with the handsome stranger sitting there and your coworker snickering whenever you so much as glanced at him. When closing time came around, you grabbed the wet towel you were cleaning with and snapped her behind with it.

"Can you blame me?! Have you seen his eyes?!" You snapped at her with a red face, but she only laughed even harder.

This little routine continued for another two weeks. Stealing little glances at the man and your friend laughing and poking at you until you were red as a firetruck.

One night though, during a busy Friday night, your friend called out. You were all alone managing both the bar and waitressing as she did. You scurried to the bar from the backroom as you heard a loud ruckus and yelling. And to no one's surprise, it was another bar fight.

This time it was the Dixon brothers against another two biker assholes. Merle against one and Daryl the other. You yelled and shouted at them to stop, but no one was letting up. Daryl was almost underneath the biker he was fighting, and so against your better judgment, you stepped in.

"Alright, alright! Enough!" You shouted and tried grabbing his arm that was just about to wail on Daryl. He looked back just a split second before breaking his arm from your grasp and slamming it back into your face. You immediately stumbled back and onto the floor clutching your head, where he got you with a big metal ring right in the temple.

Finally, an older, more respected biker stepped in. He broke up the fight and shoved the two bikers— who you assumed must've started the fight— out the door.

You reached up a hand and slightly panicked when you pulled your fingers away and saw blood. Your vision was a little blurry and you looked up blearily to who crouched in front of you, only to see the prettiest eyes imaginable.

"You alright?" Daryl asked. You nodded in a daze, but his brows furrowed in concern still.

"Y-yeah. I'm ok." He nodded and reached his hands out to help you up. Even in your state, you can see his knuckles are bloodied and busted.

He helped you to sit on a bar stool before walking off, and you took a quick glance around. It was just about closing time now, so most were gone. All that remained was the older biker that broke up the fight, a few stragglers, and Merle bragging that he won the brawl.

"Everybody out! Come on," Daryl calls out. The stragglers filter out the doors pretty quick, still probably buzzing from the excitement of the fight.

Daryl retuned to you with a little first aid kid. He grabbed a clean wet towel and wiped at the blood on your face. If you weren't still seeing stars, you'd probably be having a conniption right now.

"You gonna fix up the girl, baby brother?" Merle asks with a sickening grin. Daryl just hummed a yes. "Don't come home without getting some tail first!"

"Shut up, man!" Daryl yelled, turning to him. He turned back once he was out the door and his checks were a little flushed.

"You need a hospital?" He asked a moment later, recovered from Merle's obnoxious comment. His tongue was peaking out of his lip in concentration as he puts a little bandage to your cut. Oh boy.

"No, no," you stammer out. Now that you were beginning to recover from your state, you realize you were completely alone with him, and he was helping you. Being all gentle while he wipes your face softly, close to his face, staring into his eyes... this is heaven. "I'm ok. Thanks."

He nods, biting the inside of his lip. He closes the first aid kit and stashed it where it belongs behind the bar.

"'M sorry you got hurt," he mutters. You just give him a small smile.

"It's ok. I know you didn't start the fight." He shuffled back over to you and hovers awkwardly. "And you cleaned me up. Thank you."

"My fault anyway," he says with a shrug. He still didn't meet your eyes.

"Well," you start, but hesitate. Daryl looks at you and waits patiently for you to continue. "I know a way you can repay me. If you really want."

"What's that?" He asks.

"Drive me home?"

From that day forward you and Daryl were somewhat inseparable. He always came to the bar if you knew you were working, sometimes even without Merle which you appreciated. He gave you the creeps, even though Daryl had assured you he wouldn't do anything to you. He also might've threatened to knock him out for you if he ever stepped out of line.

Despite your coworkers concerns, Daryl was pretty perfect— even if a little rough around the edges at times. He was sweet, and while Merle and most of the other bikers looked at you as if you were meat, Daryl always looked at you so genuinely. So sweetly.

He even drove you home most nights now ever since that first night you both really talked. He learned your car broke down, and between your aunt's medical bills and your job's shitty pay, you couldn't get it fixed. Daryl had tried to fix it, but the part you needed was way too pricey. He didn't like that you walked home at almost three in the morning, so he drove you after every shift. Even if he didn't hang out at the bar that night.

You were pretty positive Daryl was the greatest guy you had ever met. So kind, and attentive, and always doing his best to help you with whatever you needed. Helpful without expecting something in return.

When your aunt eventually died, a few months after being close with Daryl, he was the first one you called. You were in hysterics, and he sped over to the hospital as fast as he could just to hug and hold you.

He stayed with you for days, made your meals, even hunted so you would have fresh meat for him to cook you. But mostly, he stayed by your side like wet on water.

Daryl wasn't the best with comforting people, or really with emotions at all, but he tried. And you always appreciated it. Even if he didn't know what to say, and he'd just hold you tight and let you cry. Or played with your hair when you couldn't sleep. Daryl was better with actions than with words, and you didn't mind a bit.

It was during this time that you knew you didn't just care about him as a good friend, or even as a crush, but was in love with him. You loved how caring and loyal he was, how you were completely comfortable with him and knew you could always rely on him.

"Daryl, I need to tell you something," you murmured, you voice cloudy with tears still. It was only a week after your aunts passing and while you were getting better, you had a really rough day. Memories flashing through your mind and making it nearly impossible to get through your day without breaking down.

"Hm," Daryl hummed. You felt the vibrations in your chest, as he held you close to him and stroked your hair.

"I love you," you said, nuzzling your face in his neck, too scared to see his face. To see that he didn't feel for you that way. Or try to push you away. You couldn't look at him.

Hesitantly, he gently pulled your face away from his neck to look at you. Your eyes were still red and rimmed with tears, which he brushed away with a thumb. You were scared to see rejection, but when you worked up the nerve to look at his face, you saw anything but.

You saw pure love.

"Daryl," you called.

"What?" He said from the other room, shortly before entering the living room where you stood. He was shirtless, wearing only jeans. His hair was still damp from his shower and you took a second to take in the sight before voicing your concerns.

"I don't think you should go on that hunting trip." You looked back to the news, who was reporting about strange serial killings around the country, now hitting Atlanta. They were eating the bodies.

He walked up to stand by you. You looked at him in worry. He smiled and brushed a hand down your face gently.

"That's Atlanta. If anything, me and Merle will be safer from those freaks in the woods," he says and presses his lips to yours to smooth away your worry. "You should come, too."

"I can't." You level him with a serious look. "My coworker is sick with some flu, I'll be taking care of the bar all by myself."

Daryl pushes his face into your neck and lays down kisses on your neck, moving down to your shoulders, then chest. You adore the scratchy feeling of his stubble on your delicate skin.

"Come on," he complains into your chest, and you giggle a little at his whining. "They can close the bar for one goddamn weekend."

"The money doesn't hurt either, Mr. Dixon," you tease. He pulls away to look you in the eye, hands on your hips and that same soft and genuine look on his face that you fell in love with to begin with. And those eyes. Despite all the years you've been with the man, his sparkly blues were still the prettiest thing you've ever seen.

"Fine," he obliges, but he still with a little frown. You wipe it away with a firm peck and a caress to his cheek. His eyes close momentarily, soaking in the feeling, before opening them again. He gazes at you with half lidded eyes, so lovingly and tenderly. "Whatever you say, Mrs. Dixon."

That morning was the last time you'd seen your husband. The flesh eating 'serial killers'—which you now are reanimated corpses— made their way to your small town while he was gone. You tried to stay as long as you could, but soon a herd trying to make their way into your house and you couldn't stay.

You tried to get to where the Dixons were camping, but was too late. They were already gone for god knows how long. And so you moved around, trying to find him. You had no clue where to look, you weren't a tracker like Daryl, but you tried.

You moved through the woods and stayed at cabins you found, or made a little camp with cans on wire surrounding it so you can hear anything coming. Daryl had taught you that, when you stayed at a campground with him once where there were larger animals roaming around.

You missed him.

You missed how he could always ease your worries and calm you down. His gentle touches and soft kisses. How soft he was with you. The way he always looked at you with love and care. You missed all of him.

You're ashamed to think that maybe you'll never find him. Or maybe he only lives in your memories now. Maybe the last time you saw him was truly the last time.

You could still see his eyes in your mind whenever you tried to sleep. You stayed awake most of the time now.

You move around an abandoned gas station. It was your little camp for the moment. It had four walls and the doors held well enough, for now anyway. It's been almost a year of this now. Of moving around trying to find Daryl, with not even a clue. You needed to hunker down for at least a week, you're growing too weak and exhausted.

The gas station was littered with dirt and grime, along with some candy and other snacks that weren't scavenged. Some water bottles were still in the coolers, but barren shelves took up most of the space.

You're moving some of the shelving to the door, hoping that blocking it would keep the monsters out. If they didn't hear or see you, maybe they'll just wander by.

You set up a blanket in the corner and throw your pack down before laying your head on it. You take a deep breath and try to fight the tears. You can't do this anymore. You can't just survive anymore. Is there even a point? Tears burn at your eyes and you close them shut.

You must fall asleep at some point, because when your eyes fly open to voices, it's bright out.

"There's something blocking the door," a woman says, trying in vain to push the doors open. You grab your gun quickly and rush to hide behind some shelving.

"Hang on, let me try," a man says, before you hear more loud screeching from the metal shelves scraping on the floor. You point your gun in front of you, really hoping you don't have to use it.

You hear footsteps, and see light streaming in now that the shelves weren't blocking the sun. Your hands shake a little on the gun.

"Seems clear," the man says. You hold your breath. Maybe they'll just leave. You peak ever so slightly over the shelve to see the two. Ones a Asian guy, and the other is a pretty brunette girl.

"Glenn," she says, and points over to your blanket and pack. "Someone was here."

You slink back down, slowly and carefully. You can hear as the two begin to walk cautiously around the tiny store. The guy—Glenn— begins to walk around the shelf you're hiding behind, so you try to move to block yourself from his sight. But you didn't see the empty can by your foot, and kick it, causing it to roll out in the open. Shit.

"Whoever's back there, come out!" Glenn calls out. "We won't hurt you, just come out slow."

You weight your options in your head, but decide to walk out. They looked put together and well kept, maybe they had some sort of camp? A stable enough place that they wouldn't kill you for a can a beans and a half empty bottle of water?

"Put the gun down," the girl says, flanking you from behind while the man is in front. You oblige, and the gun drops to the floor with a metallic thump. Your heart beats a million miles a second.

"You have a camp?" Glenn asks.

"This is my camp," you answer. Your hands were raised slightly in front of you, not wanting to startle them in any way and end up with a bullet between your eyes.

"What about a group? Are you with anyone?" He asks. He eyes your warily, but they seemed kind. The girl walked out in front of you, her gun in hand but not held up. They didn't seem malicious. Maybe this could work out?

"No, just me," you answer. He and the woman give you a long look.

"We have a camp, answer our questions and we can take you back," the girl says, holstering her weapon. Glenn lowers his but keeps it in his hand. "My names Maggie, and that's Glenn." You nod, and your eyes dance from one to the other. They didn't seem bad, but you can't be too careful nowadays.

"How many walkers have you killed?" Glenn asks.

"I don't know," you say with a shrug. "I've been moving around a lot, so a bunch I guess."

"How many people?" You gulp at his question.

"I shot a guy trying to rob me, not sure if I killed him." The man nods, and you wonder what's going to happen to you. They have a camp, but is it safe? Even if it is, would you go? Daryl could still be out there...

"Our camp is a prison not far, you can come back with us," Maggie says, a kind smile gracing her pretty face. "What's your name?"

"Y/N, Y/N Dixon." The couples eyes fly open, their jaws drop slightly. "What?"

"You wouldn't happen to know a Daryl Dixon, would you?" She asks, and your heart just about burst right out of your chest.

"Yeah, he's my husband," you say, excitedly. Your heart is thumping almost painfully against your ribs. "You know him?"

"Daryl's married?!" Glenn shouts out. Maggie thumps him once on the shoulder and gives him a stern look. "What?"

The whole trip to the prison you thought you were dreaming. Maybe this isn't happening. I'm asleep still. Daryl is gone.... You still tried to hold onto hope, your chest tight and fingers anxiously drumming against your leg.

Maggie and Glenn were sweet, both with matching grins at the idea of yours and Daryl's reunion. They asked questions along the way, how you'd met him and how long you were married. You answered them all happily, almost to the point of tears.

When the car drove up to the prison fences, you looked around in awe. There were animals and crop gardens, kids running around the fields. It was something you never thought you'd see again.

A man opened the fence for you three, and a grey haired woman followed after seeing you step out of the car. The man had a beard and cowboy boots on, and he smiled warmly when he saw you. The woman had a look just as kind.

"Rick, Carol, you'll never guess who this is," Maggie says, a huge smile plastered on her face as she jumped out of the car. They both give you a second glance and look at her a little confused, and the man— Rick— nodded for her to continue. "Daryl's wife."

"Oh!" Carol gasped, a big smile on her face. "So nice to meet you! I've heard so much about you!"

"Only good things I hope," you say. You're still buzzing, and your eyes fly across the field in hope of catching a glance of your husband. Your heart flutters, your knees feel weak, and you still feel this may be a dream. A figment of your imagination.

And then you see him.

Your eyes widen, and with one last glance at your four new friends, you book it towards him. Your feet barely touch the grass as you bolt towards your husband.

"Daryl!" He turns sharply at the sound of your voice. He's half bent over his bike, hands full of grease and grime, and still he's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. He stops in his tracks for just a second before running to meet you in the middle.

You jump into his arms, his grease caked hands rubbing all over you but you couldn't care less. His fingers tremble where they lay on your back. Your face is shoved into his neck and you relish in the feeling of him.

"I thought I lost you I—" he says, cutting himself off, like he couldn't even think of it. "I looked for you everywhere."

"Me too," you say, voice laced with tears. This has to be a dream, it has to be. Your burrow your face even deeper into him and tighten your hold. "I don't want this to be a dream."

"Shh, it's not," he murmurs lovingly in your ear. "I promise, I'm right here."

Tears flow down your face even faster. Negative thoughts still plague your brain. Daryl brushes his hands down your back, up to caress your shoulders, before moving back down to clutch at your hips. His touches become more desperate and clingy. You think he's never going to let you go, you never want him to.

Finally, you muster up the courage to look at him. You slowly peel your face away from his neck. Daryl presses a kiss to your forehead, resting a hand on your cheek softly. You look at him with matching tear stained faces, smiling. Gently, you push his grown out fringe away from his face.

He's smiling, probably the happiest you've ever seen him, even with tear tracks down his pretty face. And when you finally lock eyes with those sparkly blues you've only seen in your dreams for so long, you know he's really there.

#the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl fanfiction #daryl x you #the walking dead daryl #twd daryl #daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixion x reader #daryl dixon oneshot #daryl x reader #twd

431 notes · View notes

painfullyblissful2000 · 2 months ago

Text

somebody else probably did this already and that's ok :3

some of kip kinkel's writings!!

confession note

"I have just killed my parents! I don't know what is happening. I love my mom and dad so much. I just got two felonies on my record. My parents can't take that! It would destroy them. The embarrassment would be too much for them. They couldn't live with themselves. I'm so sorry. I am a horrible son. I wish I had been aborted. I destroy everything I touch. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I didn't deserve them. They were wonderful people. It's not their fault or the fault of any person, organization, or television show. My head just doesn't work right. God damn these VOICES inside my head. I want to die. I want to be gone. But I have to kill people. I don't know why. I am so sorry! Why did God do this to me. I have never been happy. I wish I was happy. I wish I made my mother proud. I am nothing! I tried so hard to find happiness. But you know me I hate everything. I have no other choice. What have I become? I am so sorry. "

from a journal in his bedroom:

"I sit here all alone. I am always alone. I don't know who I am. I want to be something I can never be. I try so hard every day. But in the end, I hate myself for what I've become."

Every single person I know means nothing to me. I hate every person on this earth. I wish they could all go away. You all make me sick. I wish I was dead.

The only reason I stay alive is because of hope. Even though I am repulsive and few people know who I am, I still feel that things might, maybe, just a little bit, get better.

I don't understand any fucking person on this earth. Some of you are so weak, mainly, that a four year old could push you down. I am strong, but my head just doesn't work right. I know I should be happy with what I have, but I hate living.

Every time I talk to her, I have a small amount of hope. But then she will tear it right down. It feels like my heart is breaking. But is that possible. I am so consumed with hate all of the time. Could I ever love anyone? I have feelings, but do I have a heart that's not black and full of animosity?

I know everyone thinks this way sometimes, but I am so full of rage that I feel I could snap at any moment. I think about it everyday. Blowing the school up or just taking the easy way out, and walk into a pep assembly with guns. In either case, people that are breathing will stop breathing. That is how I will repay all you mother fuckers for all you put me through.

I feel like everyone is against me, but no one ever makes fun of me, mainly because they think I am a psycho. There is one kid above all others that I want to kill. I want nothing more than to put a hole in his head. The one reason I don't: Hope. That tomorrow will be better. As soon as my hope is gone, people die.

I ask myself why I hate more than anyone else. I don't know. But my head and heart want him dead. He only knows who I am through reputation, and I know he is scared of me. He should be. One bad day, and there will be a sawed off shotgun in his face or five pounds of Semtex under his bed.

I need help. There is one person that could help, but she won't. I need to find someone else. I think I love her, but she could never love me. I don't know why I try.

Oh fuck. I sound so pitiful. People would laugh at this if they read it. I hate being laughed at. But they won't laugh after they're scraping parts of their parents, sisters, brothers, and friends from the wall of my hate.

Please. Someone, help me. All I want is something small. Nothing big. I just want to be happy.

End. New day. Today of all days, I ask her to help me. I was shot down. I feel like my heart has been ripped open and ripped apart. Right now, I'm drunk, so I don't know what the hell is happening to me.

It is clear that no one will help me. Oh God, I am so close to killing people. So close.

I gave her all I have, and she just threw it away. Why? Why did God just want me to be in complete misery? I need to find more weapons. My parents are trying to take away some of my guns! My guns are the only things that haven't stabbed me in the back.

My eyes hurt. They hurt so bad. They feel like they are trying to crawl out of my head. Why aren't I normal? Help me. No one will. I will kill every last mother fucking one of you. The thought of you is still racing in my head. I am too drunk to make sense.

Every time I see your face, my heart is shot with an arrow. I think she will say yes, but she doesn't, does she? She says, "I don't know". The three most fucked up words in the English language.

I want you to feel this, be this, taste this, kill this. Kill me. Oh God, I don't want to live. Will I see it to the end? What kind of dad would I make? All humans are evil. I just want to end the world of evil.

I don't want to see, hear, speak or feel evil, but I can't help it. I am evil. I want to kill and give pain without a cost. And there is no such thing. We kill him - we killed him a long time ago. Anyone that believes in God is a fucking sheep.

If there was a God, he wouldn't let me feel the way I do. ....Love isn't real, only hate remains. Only hate."

"Love Sucks

No, I don't believe in love at first sight because love is an evil plot to make people buy alcohol and firearms. When you love someone something it is always taken away from you. I also would like to add that I hate each and every one of you. Because everything I touch turns to shit. I think if you think you fall in love with someone at first sight it might just be lust. Love at first sight is only in movies. Where the people in the movies are better than you. That is why you go to a pone [pawn] shop and buy an AK-15 because you are going to execute every last mother fucking one of you. If I had a heart it would be gray.

It is easier to hate than love. Because there is much more hate and misery in the world than there is love and peace. Some people say that you should love everyone. But that is impossible. Look at our history it is full of death, depression, rape, wars and diseases. I also do not believe in love at first sight. But I do believe in hate at first sight. Therefore love is a much harder feeling to experience."

at the top of his Spanish work sheet

"I will hunt you down and put a hole in your head. With explosives. You hear me. Power to the shampoo. RIP [sad face with Xed out eyes]. You must DIE."

statement to his victims

"I have spent days trying to figure out what I want to say. I have crumpled up dozens of pieces of paper and disregarded even more ideas. I have thought about what I could say that might make people feel just a little bit better. But I have come to the realization that it really doesn't matter what I say. Because there is nothing I can do to take away any of the pain and destruction I have caused. I absolutely loved my parents and had no reason to kill them. I had no reason to dislike, kill or try to kill anyone at Thurston. I am truly sorry that this has happened. I have gone back in my mind hundreds of times and changed one detail, one small event so this never would have happened. I wish I could. I take full responsibility for my actions. These events have pulled me down into a state of deterioration and self-loathing that I didn't know existed. I am very sorry for everything I have done, and for what I have become."

relatable

#tccblr #teeceecee #true cringe community #tcctwt #kip kinkel #truecrimecommunity #true crume #tee cee cee #tcc fandom #tcc thoughts #tcc shitpost #tcc tumblr #tcc kip #Spotify

33 notes · View notes

herslvtspeaks · 1 year ago

Text

Liar | Hailey Van Lith

I wrote this 3 months ago 😟 Angst is you wanna call it that i don't really know what this would be

Hailey and reader are in a situationship!

I DID NOT proofread 😭 my bad

"Hailey?"

Silence.

I woke up alone once again. Hailey loved to hit and dip literally. We'd have an amazing night and when I wake up she's always gone. I pick up my phone to see a message from her.

My Hailey Baby 🤍

-------------------------------------------

sorry i wanted to get some extra shots in

ima make it up to you later

read

I didn't want to deal with Hailey and her excuses today. She did this all the time it didn't matter the reason. She treated me like a stranger out in public, but in private she treated me like a princess. I don't know how much longer i could deal with her inconsistency.

I get out of bed going to get ready for my first class of the day. I only had 3 classes today and just my luck one of them was with Hailey. We both studied business & marketing management and she ended up in my class.

I get dressed in a gray tracksuit grabbing a pair of slides and my purse before walking out the door. I could walk to my building but i wanted Mcdonald's so i'm driving. I called my bestfriend Aneesah to see if she wanted anything but of course she did, she always wants something. "If you're at Mcdonald's you already know what i want" she said the second the phone connected. She clearly had to have been looking at my location. "Do you want a sprite or do you want coffee" i ask. "mmm, get me orange juice actually" she says. I order our food before she starts speaking again.

"Do you know what's up with Hailey?" Neesah asks making me look at her confused. "No, i seen her last night she seemed fine" i said taking a sip from my drink. "you didn't see her this morning?" she asked making me almost choke. "i never see her in the mornings" i say making Aneesah's face scrunch up. "but yall go home together every night like what" she says making me roll my eyes. "she's always gone when i wake up" i shrug. I pull out of Mcdonald's parking lot heading to campus. "I don't see how you do it y/n i would've had to do sumn' to her" she says making me laugh. I damn for sure have been thinking about it.

For Hailey to want me she sure doesn't act like it. Hell, our teammates barely even knew we have something going on. If anything all they knew was me and Hailey would spend a lot of time together, they didn't know we were fucking eachother. Of course Neesah knew and i'm pretty sure Flaujae and Angel knew but just didn't say anything. "you probably wanna clock her on that though because you guys would be cute together" she says making me laugh again. "Why're you laughing i'm being so for real" she says. "Neesah, you already know how Hailey is. She is not gonna take me seriously" i say making her roll her eyes. "you should hear how she talks about you when you're not here, i would've thought y'all were already official" she says surprising me.

"I don't know what we are honestly nees, i just hope she can get her shit together" i say parking my car. "Anyway i'm about to bring you your food" i say. "i'm on the third floor boo" she says blowing a kiss at the phone. "Bye Neesah" i smile hanging up. I grab my purse and our food getting out the car. I had about an hour before my class started so i was just gonna take Aneesah her food and then head straight to class.

Aneesah's Pov

"Nees who was that" Hailey asks as Y/n hangs up. "Your lil boo" i smile making her roll her eyes at me. I don't know why? She knows it's true. "Anyway what's up with you and this lil funky attitude" I ask. Hailey's been on 10 since i've seen her today and it was getting annoying. Not just that, i wanted to know what was up with her and my best friend. They clearly had feelings for eachother so i don't know why they won't get it together. "What attitude" she says as if she doesn't know what i'm talking about. "The way you stormed into the gym this morning, the way you keep rolling your eyes at me" I say just naming a few of the things she's been doing. "I'm fine" she states clearly not wanting to talk. "Whatever you say Hailey" I sigh.

The room goes quiet until Y/n bursts through the door clearly out of breath. "I hate freshman so much" she says leaning against the door she just slammed closed. "They thought it was absolutely hilarious to chase me down the hallway with water as if it's not 30 degrees outside" she says. Me and Hailey both start to laugh at her. "It's not funny" she pouts sitting in the chair across from me. We continue to laugh as folds her arms across her chest. "I hope you both know i don't like you. I hope they get you next Neesah" she says making me stop laughing.

"That wasn't funny" i say shaking my head. I grab the Mcdonald's bag from her getting my food out. As I was digging through the bag i came up with the most genius idea.

Your Pov

Aneesah knew what she was doing not only telling me to come up here while Hailey is here but then proceeding to make up a bullshit excuse on why she had to go all the way to another building to get a plastic fork when i had one for her. "I want a white plastic fork" i say mocking her on her way out.

The tension between me and Hailey was thick. I refused to speak to her and she looked like she just didn't know how to start a conversation. Maybe she should look up 'What to say to a girl after making up excuses on why you can't be there when she wakes up in the morning for months' but i don't even think that would be able to help her.

"Y/n/n I'm really sorry-" she starts before i cut her off. "Hailey i don't want to hear it. I'm honestly sick of the way you treat me and i can't do this anymore" I say. A thick layer of silence falls again. Hailey doesn't even look me in my eyes. "Can i atleast get an explanation on why" I ask. This time she looks at me. "I'm scared okay" she pauses. "I'm scared that i'm gonna fall in too deep and you're gonna leave me" she continues, i reach for her hand just wanting to hold it. "Baby i would never leave you. If i was going to leave you I would've done that a long time ago instead of fighting with you to treat me right Hailey" She looks at me.

I stand up from my seat walking over to her. "Hailey you have nothing to worry about." I reassure her. She really didn't ever have to worry about me leaving. I was head over heels for this girl. I wouldn't have put up with her shit for this long if i was just going to leave her in the end. She leans in kissing my lips. "I fucking love you" she mumbled going in for another kiss. "I love you more Hailey" I smile.

#herslvt speaks #hailey van lith #lsu wbb #hailey van lith x reader #herslvt

172 notes · View notes

cassidy273 · 7 months ago

Text

Watching Shameless (US version) for the first time. I'll update this as I go.

Note: Please don't spoil anything. The most I know is a character named Debbie has a kid eventually.

Season 1 Episode 1: I'm sorry who the fuck names their child LIP-

Ian is giving off LGBTQIA vibes. Idk tho I might be wrong.

Did...did that child murder a cat?

LIAM IS SO CUTE OMG MY HEARTTTT

Kev and Veronica goddamn-

Why is Frank kinda...

Damn six updates before the fucking title screen.

GODDAMN FRANK AND FIONA ARE BOTH KINDA...

"You're almost nine, you're gonna have to start pulling your weight." made me CACKLE

THIS BITCH REALLY BROUGHT A WHOLE ASS BABY TO SHOW AND TELL-

I wanna execute those two guys who were saying that shit about Fiona at her job.

Midget Naked Witch Bending Over is a really good band name

Why is she going under the table I'm literally so confused-

WHAT THE FUCK

HOW THE FUCK DOES SCIENCE TURN YOU ON KAREN

Why was showing his bare ass necessary?

Lovely. I really wanted to see a guy looking at pictures of boobs today.

Those aren't boobs.

Wait omg my prediction was actually correct what the fuck-

Fiona's dress is literally so pretty omfg

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP DISRESPECTING FIONA FIRST THOSE GUYS MAKE WEIRD COMMENTS ABOUT HER THEN SHE GETS FUCKING ROBBED

DON'T CALL HER A SKANK YOU DICK

Goddamn I forgot that guy's name but he punched that dick so I love him

I'm gonna take a shower I'll watch the rest after

I'm back y'all

The word 'knob-job' just rubs me the wrong way it just sounds so gross-

I was happy that the poor kid's name wasn't Lip but then I heard his name was Philip and that's even worse omg I feel so bad for him

Veronica is an ICON

WHY DID THEY START MAKING OUT WHAT THAT WAS LITERALLY SO RANDOM

Guys I don't think this show is very kid-friendly

BOTH OF THEM ARE ATTRACTIVE TO ME IDK WHO TO LOOK AT I THINK THIS IS WHAT A BI PANIC FEELS LIKE

THEY'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE QUIET WHAT THE FUCK

I feel so bad for her she was almost there and then a fucking garda showed up

I'm gonna leave my laptop for a while sorry

I'm back again

Frank get out of the bar and take care of your kids omfg

He's such an asshole I love him-

OMGOMGOMGSTEVE'SBACK

Aw he's such a nice guy he's not bullying Philip because y'know his name is fucking Philip <3

I think Steve and Fiona might be the first straight ship I've liked in a long time-

Oh my god imagine being Ian like 'Hey, so um, I know I'm your brother and all, but I found your secret gay porn stash and also here's a blowjob from a girl who gave one to me. Enjoy!'

Karen's dad is such an asshole omg kiss your wife dude.

OH MY FUCKING GOD IF I WAS IAN I WOULD LITERALLY EXPLODE RIGHT THERE IMAGINE A GIRL IS SUCKING YOUR YOU KNOW WHAT UNDER THE TABLE AND THEN HER DAD PULLS BACK THE TABLECLOTH I WOULD ACTUALLY DIE

I'M SORRY IS HE TRYING TO BEAT UP THESE KIDS FOR HAVING SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS WITH HIS DAUGHTER

I'm actually dying oh my god that fucking greenscreen as Lip jumped out the window-

I love all of Veronica's outfits she slays so hard

Ew uncensored penis

HE BOUGHT HER A NEW WASHER STEVE IS SO NICE

"Hey! You honour thy father!" "GET FUCKED!" Karen is so iconic

Fiona going 'Please tell me you didn't get some girl pregnant' to her gay brother killed me

DEBBIE IS LITERALLY SO INNOCENT AND KIND I LOVE HER SO MUCH I HOPE SHE DOESN'T TURN OUT LIKE HER DAD-

Steve is the only straight man other than Robert Smith we need as a society.

Never mind. The phrase 'This whole city belongs to the Jennas, and I'm sick of them' sounded a lot like 'You're not like other girls' which is the worst compliment ever.

NEVER MIND X2 I WISH SOMEONE WOULD TALK TO ME LIKE THIS-

Omg I thought he left her for a second and I was so fucking pissed

Imagine you gave a bj to two different guys (WHO ARE BROTHERS) and the first guy's all like 'Hey, did you give my brother a BONER??'

WAIT HOW OLD IS IAN AND HOW OLD IS THE MARRIED SHOP GUY BECAUSE IF THEY'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR I GOTTA GOOGLE THIS

IAN'S FUCKING FIFTEEN WHAT THE ACTUAL DAMN DIDDLY FUCK

'He's done nothing to be sorry for' AYO DUDE

I love Frank so fucking much-

SHOTSSHOTSHOTSHOTSHOTSHOTSSHOTS

I literally forgot Carl existed I feel so bad

Is it just me, or does Lip kinda look like Shia LaBeouf when he played Stanley Yelnats?

AWWW STEVE IS SO NICE

Final Thoughts:

That was so good, and I'm probably gonna not watch it again for a few weeks like what normally happens with shows I like.

#shameless #shameless us

26 notes · View notes

cyclogenesis · 2 months ago

Text

life update, got something COMPLETELY insane today!!!

it's a job lol. i got a fucking job. part-time but i'll be working one day a week at a vintage shop in atwater village. it's like a collective thing and all the members are supposed to work one day a week but my friend sarah has a rack there and is in new york a lot of time so i'm taking over her shift. every monday 12-6, i think it'll be fairly low-stress bc it's not super highly trafficked.

and like damn i know with jobs it's all about networking and who you know and whatever but the process here was literally sarah texting to ask me if i'd want to work there and i was like sure and then she put me in touch with the owner and then i went over there today (20min drive! not bad) and the owner showed me the ropes and then just gave me the keys. no resume, wasn't even an interview. i just suddenly worked there bc sarah vouched for me.

i think it'll be good! i've been kind of staring down the rest of my life knowing that i won't be able to be doing barely-to-middlingly adequate with my vintage shop and supplementing with my savings for too crazy much longer without having to get probably another full-time job eventually, a thought which makes me want to die, but not as much as having another full-time job will make me start making active plans about how to die.

so any way i can continue to stave off that dark inevitability is great. it will also be nice to get me out of the house bc boy can i get into a habit of not leaving the house, which is fine but it is a little unnerving when i get in the car and i'm like when was the last time i drove anywhere. am i driving right. does it always feel like this, etc. and it'll be nice to get a little social interaction, i haven't done retail in like...ten years since i had the worst boss ever at a beverly hills boutique but i did like it as much as i can like any job, which is to say that i'd rather be doing anything else, but while i'm there i'm going to try to enjoy myself. AND i get to play my own music, so vintage vixens get ready to hear whateverrrrr i wanttttt all day long, baby. mostly ethel cain deep cuts, let's be so honest.

also since working in-store one day a week is a part of having a rack there the vendors don't get paid for that day, which means my friend i'm covering for will just venmo me off the books. this is great because i love crime. and if it goes well i told the owner that i can be a pretty dependable go-to for covering people's shifts when i'm around.

she was also cool with me not being in town for the month of may, which is good because i'm going to europe for my goddamned birthday and a much needed vacation after the worst four months of my entire liiiiiiiiiiiiife! which i haven't started really planning yet. i got my cut of the insurance money which was drastically less than expected because grammy straight up lied to my face about how many beneficiaries there would be and also lied about having prepaid burial costs. really nice move there. great note to go out on. thanks for that.

however they're finally getting her house up for sale, which i should get one-third of (it's a manufactured home in fresno. we will not be swimming in the proceeds like scrooge mcduck in his vault of gold coins over here, but still), so i'm hoping that will happen in a timely fashion. if it doesn't it'll be fine, i travel cheap as hell and am not balling out at the ritz over here. although, you know, if i have the house money by then maybe i'll ball out a little. a little! have a ritz cracker, maybe.

here is my ridiculous tentative itinerary so far which i have to cut down drastically bc like, be serious: Paris (I can't go to Europe without visiting Paris! legally!!!), visit my friend in her village near Lyon, hit the South again (Aix-en-Provence, Grasse, Saint-Tropez?), Cannes, Corsica (I don't know! it looks cool!), on to Italy - Amalfi Coast (Positano!!), maybe Capri?, we've all been circumnavigating shores so from there I really want to go to Monemvasia on southern coast of Greece which will probably be a pain in the ass to get to but I wanna goooooo, Crete from there, Santorini again please god, I have to go to the sacred island of Delos which probably means getting a place on Mykonos which is famously overtouristed but you can't STAY on Delos because it's SACRED and Artemis will hunt you down and fucking kill you (?), from there I can go to SYROS!!! yay, god I would love to do Chios too. Then fly back to Athens and spend a little time there.

we will see how all that goes. i probably should just focus on greece. but fraaaaaance. and i didn't make it to the amalfi coast before and i always wanted to see it and i'm still half-assedly learning italian! andiamo, c'è un fantasma qui!! the goal also is to spend time in the mornings/evenings/on ferries taking another fucking shot at writing a novel everrr because i just have to keep trying guys. sooner or later i'll land on one that i think is worth sticking with. i am objectively a pretty decent writer and there's no reason i shouldn't be able to pry 70,000 words out of my brain and put them into a sellable shape. like, come on. what am i doing over here.

open to travel destination opinions if you have them. i would like to be ankle-deep in a series of seas before the summer really sets in. do YOU live in europe? can i come visit you? do YOU live in los angeles? will you come say hi to me while i'm working at the vintage shop?

anyway, i love getting money and then trading it for meaningful life experiences. i'm feeling good, baby, i'm feeling real good.

#mood spoiler: good! it's good actually!#scenes from a life

10 notes · View notes

the-oblivious-writer · 2 years ago

Text

Pretty Girl |4|

Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Chapter Four: Honesty & Confessions

Summary: You see Tara for the first time since the night you had a date, tension is in the air and both you and Tara feel it

Warning(s): Swearing

Notes: Ngl this one's short, hope it doesn't seem rushed, this is the second to last part of the 'Pretty Girl' series!

Previous Chapter|Next Part

You had a date. A day has passed since you rushed out saying that. You were walking over to her apartment when you got a text from Mindy.

‘Enter with caution’

You furrowed your eyebrows at your phone and replied with a “?” which caused the other girl to roll her eyes. Not like you could see it.

‘Just be aware. Tara’s being a total grump today thanks to you’

The fuck did I do now-? You thought to yourself as you walked up the apartment stairs. Tara and you had just made up. You felt good about it but also..not good? You’ve been spending most of your thinking dwelling on the unanswered question you asked Tara.

—-

“You heard me. How about we start off with that blow up from three weeks ago. What was that? Cause I’d really like to know”

—-

Tara Carpenter, the most stubborn person you know, chose to apologize rather than answer you. Maybe you were over thinking but it was still strange to you.

You walk up to the door and knock, the door opens and it’s Mindy who you see. “Tara! Your girlfriend’s here!” she calls out, Tara then yells back at her. “She’s not my girlfriend!” Tara responded, her face a bit red as she walked up to the door.

“Hey” you said simply, giving her a smile as you looked down at her. She repeated a “Hey” back to you, slightly mumbling and trying to avoid your gaze. Why wasn’t she looking at you?

She opened her mouth then closed it as she saw all the eyes on her. Chad, Ethan, Anika and Mindy were all there, clearly enjoying the show. Tara rolled her eyes,“Let’s go to my room” she said as she grabbed your arm.

As soon as the two of you went and inside your room she closed the door and anxiously sat on her bed. “So” she trailed off, causing you to look at her. You took a seat on her desk as you curiously looked at her. Whatever Tara wanted to say, she was having trouble getting the words out.

“How was your- date?” Goodness, Tara almost looked disgusted at saying the word. You take a second to think about your answer. It wasn’t bad but it also wasn’t worth rambling on about. “It was alright” you responded and started to play with a rubix cube on her desk.

“Good. That’s good. So, was it somebody I know?” You looked over to her then back down to the rubix cube in your hand and spoke up. “You might, she’s one of Chad’s buddies. Apparently she took an interest in me and I thought why not.”

“Oh.” The tension was absolutely thickening. You just sat there, still playing with the rubix cube as Tara carefully thought about her next words carefully. But before she could get them out you decided to beat her to it.

“You didn’t want me to go on that date, did you?” Tara met your stare as she looked at you.

“Of course I didn’t” Tara mumbled, but you heard. Deep down you both knew there were lingering feelings, whether they were reciprocated by the other person or not.

“So..a few weeks ago when we got into that argument–”

“I was jealous.”

“Well, shit that makes more sense I guess.” You finally put down that damn rubix cube and start to place your hands on your thighs.

“Does that mean you like me?” Tara swallowed and sighed, knowing the question would come.

“A lot.” She confirmed, causing you to stare at her with slightly wide eyes. You’re trying to bite back a smile at the realization your feelings are reciprocated. “I like you a lot too.”

Tara was now the one trying to fight back the smile but failed. Her legs started to swing as she sat at the edge of her bed.

“So if you like me a lot, what's with the dates?” She teased, furrowing her eyebrows.

“In my defense, that was before I knew my feelings were reciprocated.” You two started laughing a bit, mostly out of relief that both your feelings were out in the open now. Who knew all those longing stares would lead you two to here?

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” You two are still smiling at each other. “How about I make up for it?” Tara hummed. “I can take you on a date.”

Tara liked the idea of being on a date with you. She loved it. “Oh, really? Where would we go?” You thought to yourself for a second before responding.

“I want to surprise you” You smiled as she did that same, furrowing her eyebrows at you.

“Okay, deal. This better be worth my wild, Y/L/N.”

“That’s the plan, Carpenter.”

You had finally gotten a date with Tara Carpenter. You can’t screw up much from here..right?

-----------

A/N: Part five will be the last part of this series and will also be the part where these two go on a date. I wonder how it'll go 👀

(part four was gonna have a completely different ending that was more..angsty but I decided to be nice)

Tag list: @aiakuma @nattsluv

(If you ever wanna get tagged in my fics, leave a reply and let me know!)

#jenna ortega #tara carpenter x female reader #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #scream

360 notes · View notes

avocadoooo · 2 years ago

Text

foolish one

character: alhaitham x fem!reader

a/n: i didn't do the whole song, small letters intended, also never proofread🤸‍♀️ do send in requests❗

you give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high

rubbing the sides of your forehed, you let out a heavy sigh while looking at the random numbers and formulas written in paper infront of you that you've been trying to understand for the past twenty minutes. the longer the time passes, the longer the number jumbles and shuffles together.

and when you were right on the edge of giving up, you a pair of hands clap right next to your hear startling you.

"you've been staring at that stack of paper for the past twenty minutes and you haven't even gotten passed the first page yet," you hear a familiar voice say, immediately recognizing the owner of it.

"if you're not going to help, best get away. i'm not in the mood to deal with your scolding today, alhaitham."

he doesn't say anything and you hear some shuffling, thinking that he's going to leave, you put your headphones on when suddenly the chair infront of you was pulled from its place. he sits down, dropping a stack of paper infront of you with his neat handwriting of his notes, ready to help with the parts you struggled with (all of it).

wishful thoughts forget to mention when something's really not right

arguing with alhaitham was one that tried their best to avoid, not just because he always thinks that he's right, but also because he makes you think you're making a big deal of things that really are a big deal.

alhaitham's eyebrows meet as he says, "i just ate outside, i didn't think you'd make that big of a deal out of this."

you roll your eyes, already used to him saying those words as you say, "you ate outside when i told you i was going to go and cook us dinner. you also went out of your way to go with nilou, you know how i feel about her, haitham."

he crosses his arms, already over the argument and says, "we've gone over this millions of times already, i told you that she's just a colleague. will you ever get over this? it's getting tiring"

a tear drops as you turn around, locking yourself in your room and your heart with you.

and i will block out these voices of reason in my head

all the signs were pointing to the exit. you knew that it was probably the best thing to do, especially in your situation, but were you going to do it? of course.

you won't.

every single thing about him was screaming red, that it was something wrong and dangerous. and you were well aware of that.

but you always liked red better than green anyway.

and the voices say, "you are not the exception, you will never learn your lesson"

you knew that staying in yours and alhaitham's relationship is a bad idea, hoping that things would turn around and work out for the better.

but you also knew that wishing for that would be throwing another star to the already millions of missed shining ones.

and yet you did anyway. your friends advices going into one ear and out the other as you run back to him. but you know they'll be there for you, ready to catch you as you fall into their arms, crying once again.

you swear you won't come back to him, that you'll be choosing yourself this time around and it'll be better as they nod along, knowing that you'll be back by his side in the morning, things said the night before already forgotten as you look at him with lovestruck eyes.

and you know damn well that he knows that as well.

foolish one, stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love, that ain't never gonna come

was what your friends always told you numerious times, on multiple occasions. have you ever listened? no. have they gotten tired of reminding you? yes. they've realised that you're foolish, you were always a hopeless romantic, but they never thought you'd be a foolish one as well.

and here you were, all dolled up for your anniversary dinner, phone on the table you're sitting infront of with the messages you sent hours ago, looking down at the device with teary eyes.

"hey al, i know you're busy with work but i just wanted to remind you of the date we have tonight! you also said you'd send what you were gonna wear so we can match, see u:))" - sent at 11:30am

"it's 3 hours 'til the date but can you send me the picture if you're not too busy since yk i take a while to get ready. thanks, love" - sent at 3:03 pm

"an hour to go and i have to leave in 20mins, we won't be able to match since you haven't sent me yours, sorry:((" - sent at 5pm

"here at the [location], take your time though" - sent at 5:50pm

you checked the watch on your wrist, 7:43pm, it read. it's been two hours now that you were waiting for your beloved to show up.

"maybe he's just working overtime" he would never work over time.

"he's probably stuck in traffic" the reason you had to leave 20 minutes early was because this place was 5 minutes from his work place so it'd be more convenient for him to come.

"his boss most likely asked him to stay late" he is the boss.

even if you were the one being embarrassed for waiting for wlmost two hours in a restaurant, you still tried making excuses for his behavior anyway.

you grabbed your phone and started typing away

"love, i might leave now since it's been almost two hours that i've waited, you're probably home already since you got tired from work and forgot about the date, it's okay though, we can make up next year"

then you hit send, and just as the message gets delivered as you stood up, a phone chimes from the entrance so you turn to look.

and then there he was, standing at the front talking to the server and you smile thinking that maybe he was just late after all when he walks in and turns to look back out, with his hand extending out.

a hand holds his delicately as nilou walks in.

he turns, looking around the restaurant when you lock eyes, his are shocked, while yours are filled with disappointment. you shook your head as you walk out the exit door, not even bothering to look back as he calls out your name.

you were indeed, the foolish one.

#ʕ•ε•ʔ : avocado posts #genshin fluff #genshin imagines #genshin drabbles #alhaitham x you #alhaitham fluff #genshin x reader #genshin impact #alhaitham x oc #alhaitham x y/n #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham #genshin alhaitham #alhaitham angst

165 notes · View notes

litcityblues · 7 months ago

Text

I'll Never Forgive Netflix For This

They canceled Kaos after one season.

Now, to be fair, we had been evaluating the number of streaming services we paid for and were planning on canceling Netflix already, so I can't honestly tell you, dear reader, that our decision to cancel Netflix was solely based on the fact that they canceled Kaos after one season, but it sure as shit didn't convince me to stay.

I get that people have feelings about Joss Whedon these days, but not since Fox canceled Firefly have I been this outraged at a decision to cancel a show. I don't know- as it seems like streaming services cancel shows left and right these days, but man when Hollywood is struggling and the firehouse of streaming content is delivering way more quantity than quality, I don't get how you dump a show this damn good!

It doesn't help that I am a mythology nerd. I devoured old Penguin classics on 'Heroes and Legends of Greek Mythology', and I read The Illiad and The Odyssey (multiple versions, but the Emily Wilson translation of The Odyssey is gorgeous-- her translation of The Illiad is on my shelf now) at an absurdly young age. This shit is my jam. I love this. If you are making a movie or a television show about mythology, I'm going to judge the fuck out of it.

(Parenthetical Time: Disney's Hercules is an abomination and I loathe it. Hades was never the bad guy. Troy with Brad Pitt was god-awful, but Troy: Fall of A City on Netflix was an incredibly good adaptation of The Illiad. I know everyone just loves Hercules The Legendary Journeys and Kevin Sorbo these days, but that show also did a really great job with the mythology of it all. Also, shout out to Madeline Miller for The Song of Achilles and Circe, both incredible, amazing books.)

All of that being said: Kaos was the best modern adaptation of Greek mythology that I have ever seen and unforgivably, they ended this show on one hell of a cliffhanger.

The story opens with Zeus (Jeff Goldblum in a bit of serendipitously perfect casting) ruling over a modern Greek world, where mortals are expected to pay frequent homage to him. An Olympia Day monument is vandalized in Krete and he becomes convinced that people are not paying him sufficient respect. He notices a small wrinkle and suspects that's aging (something that shouldn't happen to an immortal) and worries that it represents a line from a prophecy he was given by the Fates.

Dionysus (Nabhaan Rizwan) visits, hoping for more divine responsibilities, and when Zeus rebuffs him and Hera (Janet McTeer) sneers at him, he leaves, but not before stealing Zeus' watch. Zeus goes so far as to summon Prometheus (Stephen Dillane) to seek assurance that his prophecy will not come to pass.

Meanwhile, the mortal Eurydice (Aurora Perrineau) meets Cassandra (Billie Piper) who tells her that today is the day she will leave her husband Orpheus (Killian Scott) because she has fallen out of love with him. She goes to visit her mother, a Tacita Priestess of Hera's (Michelle Greenidge) who reminds her of her prophecy. It's the same as Zeus', which shouldn't be possible, but on her way home, she's hit by a semi and killed. A heartbroken Orpheus tries to commit suicide to follow her to the underworld, but Dionysus tells him there's a way for the two of them to be reunited again.

And from there, this show takes off! We find out about Ari and King Minos, and what happened to her brother Glaucus. The Trojans are here too-- refugees from the fall of their city. Riddy thinks she can pass through The Frame in the underworld, only to find that she can't, because Orpheus stole her coin and she's got to work 200 years before she can pass through and be Renewed. She meets Caeneus who, as it turns out, has the same prophecy as her and Zeus, and little by little, we find out that Prometheus has waited patiently for a chance to take down Zeus and he's not the only one then just when we're setting up for one hell of a cliff hanger with Zeus bleeding, the Meander fountain, the source of the Gods' immortality stops flowing and Hera leaves for an unknown destination, telling one of her children to 'gather the troops' and Ari strikes a deal with the Trojans against the Gods themselves.

And then, Netflix canceled the show.

I cannot tell you how awesome this show turned out to be. Joe McGann shows up as a one-eyed bartender named Polyphemus-- the name of his bar? The Cave. Suzy Eddie Izzard shows up as one of the Fates, Lachesis. Debi Mazar is an excellent Medusa. David Thewlis is Hardes, Cliff Curtis is Poseidon this cast is awesome! From Jeff Goldblum on down it's all just so goddamn amazing. The storylines, adapted from the original myths are updated so intelligently for a modern setting. But it's really the bickering, back-biting, scheming Deities themselves that this show absolutely nails. Hera is mean. Zeus is a tyrant. It's just all so perfect!

Overall: This show deserves at least one more season to finish the story and the internet was rightfully outraged that it was cancelled. As am I. My Grade: **** out of ****

#kaos #netflix #streaming review

13 notes · View notes

ju-vondy · 11 months ago

Text

Jason's past info reveal on EP. Five X My own thoughts...

After playing the latest episode of MCL New Gen I had to do this post because when Jason told us about his father I almost fell of my chair screaming "OMG I WAS RIGHT???!!!!!" For those who didn't play the episode 5 yet: 🚨⚠️spoilers 🚨⚠️

So... I had this feeling that Beemoov was going to introduce a family drama for Jason, particularly involving his father, to justify his poor behavior, ya know? Like...: the typical story where the teenager loses his father, faces family problems and ends up becoming bitter and tough because of it. The whole "family is a mess" narrative LOL (I honestly hate that concept of "You can heal she/he" thing that usually come together with this kinda plot, that's why even though I made a difficult past for Jason in my fic, he secretly goes into therapy often... so Candy won't need to worry about being a damn "healer" for him 😂)

In fact, I even considered killing his father when Jason was a teenager in my fanfic because I was so sure his dad was dead. But then I thought, "No... Beemoov wouldn't use that cliché of the man who lost his father too soon and had to take on family responsibilities at 18, right? What a drama!"

So, today I'm here to justify the plot I thought about to you: I didn't kill off Jason's father in my fanfic because in my mind it would be too obvious and cliché. Instead, I wanted to explore a different angle that still included family issues and could add depth into Jason's character. But then... I realized that my own story also ended up being quite dramatic LMAO 🤣😅🤐

The way I created Jason's family tragedy, I know it got intense, and sometimes I feel like such a villain for it (~crying in author language~). For a kid, it must be very though waking up from an accident and listening "So... Your father is in a coma. We don't know if he'll wake up or no. He can live but he can also die suddenly, be prepared." And then you wake up everyday hoping your father will wake up but he didn't and you get nothing instead of a fake hope that the next day will be different... You are unsure if he's going to live or die. You didn't lost the person, but you lost its presence, voice, bad jokes, caring, etc. However, you still don't want to lose hope. So, for Jason kid it was like "I'll do my best everyday so when papa wakes up he'll be proud of me :D"

I decided to put Jason's father (I named him as Gregory) through a coma when Jason was a kid for two main reasons: 1) Give Jason a motivation and 2) don't make him deal with "taking care family matters out of the blue" once he was too young.

> That leads to his uncle (named Viktor) accompanying Jason's growth and teaching him everything about the family business, being a leader and etc. Of course Viktor had an aggressive method once Jason father's part of the family is crap and cruel (as I shared on this post).

Despite growing up with his uncle filling his head with nonsense about love being a weakness and such things, young Jason didn't want to be bitter and iced-heart like that. (Yep, he was a hectic kid but that doesn't mean he was evil, he just liked to have fun messing around.) He remembered his father being kind and gentle, almost as if he wanted to break the tough mold of the family. But later Jason faced many disappointments because, being from a wealthy family, (BTW, I got kinda sad when Jason said they were not rich in the EP 5, but now that's done and I don't regret describing his family the way I did once we didn't have any information hehehe) many people around them were fake. He also suffered bullying for being skinny, so... All of those bad things led him to think around the age of 16-17: "Well, there's no other way. When I'm not at home I'll have to put on this mask that my uncle taught me so others won't walk all over me."

However, internally Jason still held hope that Gregory would wake up someday and... Within his good heart, there was the desire of wanting to make his dad proud ~if he woke up~ Jason had as a kid > it still remained there in his mind, so he gave his best effort in everything they put he to do back that time. But at a certain point there was so much pressure on the poor boy that he ended up having a breakdown. 'Do this' 'Don't do that' 'Be perfect' 'Get good grades' 'Blah blah blah'... At the age of 18-19 Jason found himself having like those "I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" moments of life LOL 🤣 He never really liked everything the Mendal stood for, anyway. He always found it a drag to attend luxury dinners, close deals and pretend to be someone he wasn't… Jason ended up becoming a rebellious young-adult despite being studious and dedicated to his goals.

And then things got worse when Jason was near his 20-21 years old: his father sadly woke up in a minimally conscious state. (So: today his father is not dead, but he's not "living" as well. You know? When someone is awake but can't talk, move, etc. sometimes the person can exhibit limited and inconsistent responses to external stimuli, but that's all.) I think that was the "breaking point". Jason got deeply disappointed: He felt like everything he had done in his entire life was for nothing. As a result, the dark-haired began to exhibit dysfunctional behavior, skipping work at the family company, arriving late etc, etc. Viktor took advantage of this moment of weakness and convinced the board/the general council that Jason became irresponsible, went off the rail and therefore was unfit for any leadership position and would never be good enough to take the vice president or president's company role. That made our hated beloved protagonist really angry, it felt like a big betrayal for him. Following that, in a fit of impulsivity, Jason had those moments of "'Fuck you guys. I don't need you idiots. My family sucks and I'll prove them that I can make it on my own without using my father's name.' And that's why he resigned from his position and began working on something else, which would later culminate in the founding of Goldreamz. (Fortunately, this was the moment he decided to start seeing a therapist again, for our sake's.)

Well... I gave you too many spoilers of the fic already, so, basically: Jason’s past sucks and his journey in my point of view is intertwined with themes of redemption, ambition, growing and a desire to protect those he cares about besides his own heart ~which he chooses to not open up with random people. He's not an asshole/jerk, but he decides consciously to behave as if he is one because a bunch of internal reasons. (His therapist is still trying to work on that btw 👀) Jason only shows his truly self when he with his mom, brother, close friends and some of his mother's relatives. (And hopefully, near Candy... As time goes by and they fall for each other) Selective behavior, ya know? It is common for people undergoing therapy to selectively share their true feelings and thoughts with a trusted inner circle, while emotionally protecting themselves from others. Besides, we must remember that therapy is a long and sometimes non-linear process: Jason may resist complete changes, preferring to maintain a protective behavior while slowly working on his internal issues. Jason does not intend to change it, actually. He's happy with only the people he cares about knowing who he truly is... He's like: "bitch, I don't care" about the others. 😅😆

With all of that said: I can’t wait to delve deeper into Jason's motivations in my upcoming chapters, exploring the intricate web of personal and professional stakes that drive Jason’s actions. 🤭 Stay tuned for more revelations and twists 🤪

If you’ve been following my fanfic, let me know your thoughts on Jason’s development and how you think his backstory ties into the larger narrative. And if you’re just catching up on the game itself (MCL New Gen), what do you think of the latest episode? Let’s discuss!

If you're not following my fanfic, I recommend you read this post first 😅 Thank you all for supporting my work and crazy ideas 💖

#jason mendal #mcl new gen #mcl jason #mcl fanfic #mclng #amour sucre new gen #my candy love new gen #mcl #Jason Mendal fanfiction

26 notes · View notes

yoon-topias · 1 month ago

Text

Yoontopia Chapter 10 { Breaking Chains }

⟡ Warnings: Strong language, depression, mental health issues, insomnia, and anxiety. Realization of fears of uncertainty.

⟡ 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)

⟡ Best friend's older brother x OC

⟡ Summary: It’s been ten days since Violet left. Yoongi’s first night home from being in-patient turns out to not only be his escape, but all of Jin’s worries. He shows a new light of himself and his mind facing the struggles of sleepless nights without Violet.

⟡ 7.4k words

Yoongi pov:

Ten days, at least that's what Jin told me yesterday. She left under my own terms for the first time. I went in-patient by myself pretty much with Jin and Hobi by my side of course. Today is day one out and I feel numb but also better than ever before days seemed to run together in there. It feels like a new understanding of what I need to do to prepare for when she gets back to me. Yesterday I got out with two more medications since it was rough to say the least. I was screaming and couldn’t regulate my emotions as soon as I walked in the door after following her to the end of the city limits in another man's car. Taehyung’s car.

I left in the middle of the night after however many days it's been, which I learned yesterday was nine at eleven when Jin and Hobi went to bed. I snuck out like a damn teenager and ended up in her apartment, in her bed. Ten days it’s been ten days. Somehow he knew where I was, okay no I knew how he knew with the little app we have everyone’s location on it. Which includes Vi, Hans, Jin, Hobi, and me. It was Hobi that insisted we all make accounts even showing how fast you’re driving in my case riding. I think Jin used Hobi to make it not seem as bad, because one hundred percent was Jin’s idea. He already has sent texts about where I’m.

Laying in her spot under these black sheets, clicking on the app which I forget we even have until emergencies, I can see Vi is at her new apartment. I already sent a letter to her hoping it arrives soon, it was sent the last day I was in-patient. The letter trick from my therapist really has become a coping skill that helps me express all my pent up emotions even if I’m just writing them for myself in future. We haven’t spoken to each other since she left, Jin was the one to get the “I’m here safe, love you guys.” from Vi. She knew what would happen when we spoke about it. The plan was no matter what state I was in the moment she left and I was in our apartment with him taking my phone to let me feel my emotions in a safe way and not making it harder on both of us constantly reaching out.

She had more control than me in that department. I throw my phone across her room in anger of what is to come. I feel myself thinking back to the last moments with her reliving it as I stare up at her ceiling of stars. I let out a sigh as I played it back.

Sitting on the steps of her apartment building all doesn't feel real as I watched the car pull away. Jin and Hobi are standing behind waiting. What for? Me, to know how bad I'm going to break. They know it. I know it. This goodbye is for a little while, but it feels like forever. She has been gone for not even five minutes and I feel like my world has been hit by hell's wrath. She is in safe hands. I know that with Taehyung he wouldn't do anything to hurt her, I see the way he still looks at her. Do you think I didn't know about the nights he came to the apartment after Hans moved out? I do.

It was not my place to, and if he gave her any comfort in her time of need. I'm grateful he was able to do it. He still looks at her with those glaze over brown eyes full of warmth. I don't know if it is pure adoration for her as a person or love Taehyung and I never got close. I didn't want to, mentally I couldn't become best friends with the guy she was with at that time. Did I spend time with both of them? Yes, I had no choice if I wanted to visit Vi during that time. The way she didn't even cry saying goodbye but I could feel it in the pits of my stomach. Her eyes were glazed over with sparkles forming as she looked at us one last time. Just like the way her eyes glittered with sparkles not even two hours ago dancing in my arms, this time it wasn't sparkles of joy. They were littered with sparkles waiting to fall on her gorgeous face.

"Yoongi, are you okay?" Jin is the first to say something.

Turning my head and looking at them both with solemn faces looking at me. They know what's ahead of me don't they, But me? I don't at least not fully.

"Ya know? I'm not fucking okay Jin. But I have one more thing I need to do. Then both of you can choose what you think is right for me."

"W-what do you mean one last thing Yoongs?" Hobi speaks up this time.

I just want to see her face smile one last time. She doesn't need her last memory to be sad. Fuck no. My last memory for months will not be seeing her eyes look at me like that, standing up from the stairs looking at my bike. I know what I need to do. This will be the ending we both need.

"Jin give me my keys." holding my hand out towards him. I understand why he took them as we all decided it wasn't best if I drove home tonight. "Hell no." he says in an instant. "Look me in the eyes." he deadpans and meets my eyes Looking at him with the most serious face I can give him to make it known it's needed. "If you were not going to see Hobi for months. Would you want your last memory with him with the face that she had on?" I say it more agitated because of the situation I’m in. "W-well no" I gestured my hand towards him to give me my keys.

"Then give me my keys so I can make her smile one last time, and end this night on a good note for her and myself. Please just this once trust me even though I'm completely in an episode. I need this. She needs this."

He breaks eye contact and looks at Hobi for reassurance; he just gives him a nod. Thank fuck for Hobi. Reaching into his pocket to take out my keys, placing them in my hand. "I swear to every existence, if you don't make it back in one piece to me in an hour." pulling his hand back with the keys lightly.

"I will raise hell through this whole town and when I find you I'll kill you myself." I let out a little laugh knowing he definitely would.

"I promise, one hour. Thank you, both of you." I give him a small smile, reaching down on the steps grabbing my helmet that is next to me, putting it on, buckling it up. Rushing down the steps I need to find their car and it's only one direction they could be taking to get out of town. I can make her smile one last time even if it's just from a car window and my bike on the highway.

Taking my phone out and sending her a text even though we promised to give each other a little bit of time, but right now she is getting her warning even if she doesn't see it that way. There is always deeper meaning to things in my head.

Me: See you soon, Love.

Getting on my bike as fast as I can, starting the engine hearing it purr, giving it rev. Fuck it I don't care its late at night habits shouldn't be broken I have learned that from Vi. Kicking the stand and driving off onto the empty road. This late night ride will be different.

Speeding down the road making a right turn to get to the road to take me to the highway they can't make it that far, and if they have I'll kill him then he is speeding like no other with the most precious cargo in his car. As I hit the on ramp to the highway its pretty much completely empty, good they won't have any fuckers on the road to bother them on the long drive.

There is one semi on the same lane as the on ramp point my left hand out to let them know I'm merging onto the road. They slow down for me, letting me on the road as I get on the highway I accelerate. Faster. Faster. I need to catch up.

Making it down four mile markers I see the first car other than a semi please. Please be them. Should have paid more attention to the car she was getting into, but it was her that had my full attention Like she always has had. Turning my throttle, getting in the right lane as the car is in the middle lane. Come on Yoongi, you can do this. I see my phone light up in the stand and it's a one word text from VI.

Vi: Yoongi.

I smirk because she can't know there is no way she is prob mad at the fact I texted her so quickly since we said to at least give each other until she is there. She would send a text to Jin when they got there safely. Sorry my princess I had to break it to see you smile one last time. Approaching the car I see her little stuffed animal on the dash that's my girl. The stuffed animal I got her. It's them, a wave of relief washes over me. As I get side by side with the car I see Vi looking at Taehyung. I can see her face but I see he is driving with one hand, the other rubbing her arm.

I know her too well. She is crying and probably told him to keep driving so that if they stopped she would not be able to leave. As I get next to her window Taehyung sees me and we make a quick glance at each other as he does. I hold my finger up to my helmet as if to keep quiet, don't tell her. Letting my bike fall a little bit behind them I open my phone and click call on her contact. It's in my helmet when I hear it.

Ring..Ring..Ring..Ring...

"Y-yoongi." is all she can get out. I hear her sob as she gasps for air after saying my name.

"Now why is the Princess crying when her peasant is so close? Why don't you roll down the window and get some fresh air you know that always helps you.”

"Huh Yoon, where are you? I can hear the wind, where are you?" and she does. I hear the wind coming through the phone as she rolls it down. I rev my bike and accelerate to be next to her.

"Yoon!" she has fresh wet tears rolling down her cheeks as they are glistening under the moonlight shining into the car. "Ya know I can't leave you cryin." She makes a small smile, one hand is on the window seal trying to get as close as she can to me. I get my bike as close as I can to their car and she holds her hand out to touch mine. "No, only if you wipe those forsaken tears from your beautiful face." she sniffles and wipes her face with the sleeve of my hoodie I gave her.

As soon as she wipes then she sticks her hand out again. I have to be careful and match the speed with their car to do this and as I get to the point I'm okay with taking my hand off my bike. Her hand meets my glove and she is grabbing onto it lightly as if she could break if she grasped me fully. one hand on me and the other holding her phone so she can hear me. "I love you princess. Now I'ma let go and ride with you until you get out of the city lines. I better get one of my Vi aquarium smiles." as I let go our fingertips brush against each other she smiles a true smile. That's my girl.

Running my hands on these sheets back and forth, hearing my phone vibrate repeatedly, someone is calling me and I dont have the power to get up from this comfort. The sheets come up over my bare chest, my fingers lightly running across the sheet over my body. My eyes shut and I think of what it was like to pick her up and not just be coming over to see my sister, or check on her. It felt like a dream I saved for my utopia, falling back into it.

We are in Jin’s car driving down the road but not without the pout she has on her face from not being on the bike, and here I thought she couldn't get more perfect. “Vi.” I say reaching over, placing my hand on her thigh, okay maybe a car would be nice to do this with her sometimes. Only sometimes though. She doesn’t reply to me so I repeat “Violet.” Waiting a couple seconds to hear her voice, but nothing comes. “Violet Rose.” her thigh twitches under my hand with her not answering. I start to get anxious thinking about all the things she could have in her head.

I start to tap her thigh with my fingers on her thigh trying to calm down the wreckage the ship is sailing in my stomach. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. When I hit the fifth time her head turns to me. “Sorry, Yoons I’m in my head.” my thumb brushes up against her thigh “About what baby?” the name rolls off my tongue without a thought. “Why me? It feels like I cheated you out at monopoly and got Park Place." What the hell is she thinking about monopoly?

“I'm sorry, what? Monopoly?” I replied way too quickly out of confusion.

“Yeah, it's like a game that you play for hours but in my case years. I’m just waiting for me to not be in the lead anymore.” she says the last word like it's her last one she's holding onto, pressing her finger onto the tip of my nail, tapping on it a few times. “When am I gonna be in last place again?” she whispers.

Hearing her waiting for our demise is not refreshing nor comforting, but I can't blame her. I'm feeling it too. We get to the red light before her building, the red light shining down on us feeling like it's telling me to run, red means bad in call caps it says. I turn and look at the only girl I have ever loved, her hand on her neck playing with the necklace I got her, there’s a whisper of a smile on her lips looking out the window. “Vi I-” she cuts me off while shaking her head “Yoongi no just tonight let it be.” I’ll do anything she asks so I just nod in response, and the light turns green.

The cabin of the car is so quiet, it is oddly comforting to just exist with her. When we park she turns and looks over at me a smile tugs on her beautiful face. “No more suits Min Yoongi, I want my grumpy motorcycle boy." I let out a laugh with how she described me, but she said I’m hers. God if only she knew all of me is hers down to every cell in my body.

When we park and she gives a poke to my hand I hum in response. “No more suits for Min Yoongi, I want my motorcycle boy back.” she laughs and before I can pull her in and mess her, she bolts out the door and is already running up the stairs. How the hell is she running in those heels? Rushing to catch up to her “Violet Rose!” yelling as I open the door. She is already half way into the door as I get her purse from her side of the car.

She always has kept me on my toes, shaking my head letting her have her little race because once I get to her there will only be one winner and it's going to be me. As i get into the building the security guard Namjoon just points at the elevator “I think she is not sane right now. She was laughing like she was on something and asking what way would be faster.” he laughs. “I don't know what would happen if she was sane Joon.” laughing at her antics I love so much. “ Also did she let you know about not being here?” he nods. “Care to watch after her place if I’m not here so frequently?”

“Of course she said I better not and I quote ‘do not let mister grumpy mope here’ we all know who she was talking about.” I roll my eyes at him unaware just how much he knows me and wondering just how much she has told him. “Thank you Joon, sorry but mister grumpy will mope all he wants. I gotta catch up to the sane one of us, you got that part wrong bud.” I give him a laugh and bolt up the stairs.

When I got up the stairs, opening the door to her floor, I heard a laugh so light and door slamming. Walking down the hall, her purse in my hand, the weight of the night is setting in once we have some time this will be over until she is back. My light will dim and I’ll be by myself with the shadows, not letting them take over just yet I shake it off.

I knock on her door. “Hello, I’m looking for a princess” I hear a giggle from behind the door and I can't help but burst out smiling. “Oh! There may be one here who is asking.” damn I love her. “Just a peasant trying to return her purse.” She creaks the door. “Oh how forgetful of her. I’ll take it.” I push the door in and look down at her, flushed skin, bright wide eyes scanning over me.

“Oh look I found her.” talking a step into her bubble. “She should have found a better hiding place.” she says. I take another step and shut the door with my foot that makes her jump a little bit. “Oh yeah? Well no matter where she hides, I will always find her. Always.” taking in her appearance in front of me.

Violet is looking up at me with a light smile that she can't seem loose. “It's one of my smiles.” she says with a glow in her eyes, my brows crease wondering what she meant. “You’re smiling, Yoon. One that is reserved for me.” she reads me like a book she explains, this girl will be the end of me. I didn't even notice I was smiling. “There all for you Violet. Please give me my fix.” I beg it like I can't get enough. I need her to fill my lungs up so I can breathe again. She took the air and she is the key to fix it, pulling her into me closer my hands resting at the bottom of her back and hips where the dress cuts out.

I hear a wrapper unwrapping from her hands and she really thinks that is what I need? I fucking need her. “I thought you'd say that. Here ya go Yoons.” she holds up a pineapple lollipop in between us, tightening my grip on her back letting out a grunt. “You know that's not I meant Vi.” she returns my glare “ Fine more for me.” she plops it into her mouth letting out a hum when it hits her tongue. This fucking brat.

I let out a breath and tapped on her back feeling her skin again, pulling her closer with our eyes locked on each other. “ Violet.” she hums in response, sucking on the lollipop. “Give me what I want. We have a deal.” her right side of her lip curves up ever so slightly taking the lollipop out her mouth “I offered and you declined Yoongs.” shrugging. She really wants to get a reaction out of me and I’m gonna give her exactly what she wants.

“Violet Rose.” her back straightens at the sound of her middle name. “Yes?” her voice is softer. “We have a deal and I’d hate to have to mess up this masterpiece in front of me, but if a brat wants to play we’ll fucking play.” her bites on her bottom lip nodding, my tongue ring slid across my teeth when it did I noticed her skin prickles with goosebumps. I bend down where her hand is frozen in place with the lollipop and wrap my mouth around it, bite it in half and the crunch sound is all that is heard in the space between us besides a small gasp from her.

Her eyes are wide locked on me as I finish chewing on the hard candy in my mouth. An explosion of flavor in my mouth, but all I can think about is if it tastes any different coming from her mouth. I know it does. “You stole my lollipop Mister!” glaring at me. A deep rumble comes from my chest “And what ya gonna do about it, Mins.” she rolls her eyes crossing her arms all the while I take a small step into her bubble.”You said you would never call me that again.”

“I might have stopped calling you that to your face but to me you’ll always be, my Mins.” When she was smaller than both Hans and I we called her “Mini” which turned into “Mins” for our surname since she was always family to us, a way to make her ours. When she got mad about using it until she was thirteen and said she was too old to be called it even though she is still smaller than both of us, we both caved when she started to tear up saying everyone would make fun of her.

So behind closed doors she was “Mins” not only to my Hans and I but our parents also and we never used it in front of her. Deep down I wonder if younger me was just as desperate to make her mine as I’m now and just showed it in a different way, less hidden. Hell, I gave her my surname as a nickname to make her my family when we were teens.

“Your Mins?” she raises an eyebrow, my boots meet her toes she taps the top of them. I lean and whisper to her “Step up Miss Mins.” her lip twitches up and there are those sparkles I meet in my utopia. “Like old times?” nodding my head “Like old times Vi.” I give her a small smile, her cheeks dusted with a pinkie color that matches the sky on a spring day.

She doesn’t waste a second stepping up on top of my boots wrapping her arms around my neck, pressing her cheek to my chest. “I’m gonna move Vi.” she just hums back. I tighten my hold on her, taking one small step at a time until we get into her kitchen. Just like all the times we found each late at night when she would stress bake. “There's no cookies this time, what a shame.” she sighs.

“I’ll give you something sweet.” I whisper in her neck inhaling her scent. “You know I always need something sweet when I stress.” I take one more long inhale of her and press a small kiss on her neck and sway us back and forth ever so slightly. Her father might have done this for her growing up but I hope I live up to the man that will set the standards I’ll live up to for the rest of my days to be hers. Leaning back from her swaying us side to side, she lifts her head from my chest and a small smile at the corners of her lips.

Moving my hand from her back to her cheek, lightly rubbing my thumb. She leans into my hand, her eyes are blinking slowly. She is content, this is always the way to get her to be calm when everything is falling apart. I smile back at her and lean down, giving her the option if she wants to kiss me or not. When she tips her head up at me, not waiting I seal my lips with her and I’m back to life again.

Her hands tighten on my jacket and she whimpers a little bit into my mouth when I brush my teeth along her lip. The kiss is all consuming. I feel like I can breathe again but at the same time I’m suffocating. Suffocating because I don't know when I will get this relief, this love again. She pulls back panting against my lips. “Pineapple mhm.” I chuckle a little bit. “Sweet enough for you Vivi?” she nods, locking our lips again savoring every single moment. She mumbles against my lips “It's always sweet enough with you Yoon.” I hear a bang in her apartment and it pulls me out of my utopia.

“Min Yoongi!” Oh shit, I know that voice all too well. Jin.

I roll in her sheets and I swear I get a whiff of her scent on her pillow. The door bursts open and I hear a sigh. They’ve caught me. “I know you’re up, wanna explain or let me go on my rant?” Jin says I grunt in response. “Well here is the phone I have been blowing up. Oh! Also Vi just texted.” that makes me jump up. I scramble from her bed reaching for my phone in his hand.” Ah. Ah.” Jin pulls my phone away from me. “Talk.”

Giving him a glare exhaling strongly. “Fine. I couldn't stay away, it holds her in here, holds us Jin." I look at him pleading. “Please just tell me what she said.” This is the first time I've noticed Namjoon is also here. Great. Hobi hands my shirt over to me but it feels like sandpaper compared to her sheets. I shrug it on, grunting when it touches me. “She said ‘I need you.’ god you both are lovesick doing this to yourselves.” at this point I don't waste any time and snatch my phone from him quickly typing back.

Me: You’re so strong, my love. I love you. Say the three little words and I’ll be on my bike in less than 5. You know them.”

I wait for the dots to appear. She is typing but I don't see them, not as fast as I would like. Hobi is the first to say “We were worried Yoongi, don't mind mister grandpa over here.” jabbing his thumb in Jin’s direction, which gets a glare from Jin but also a snort from Namjoon. “I just needed to feel close to her, it's just-” biting on my lip looking at them “We haven’t been this long apart in years. Since I was last in-patient.” my voice grows smaller at the end of the sentence.

“I’m gonna leave ya to it if you all need anything let me know” Namjoon says giving me a look i know all too well pitty. They both thank him and I’m sitting here like a child about to be scolded for breaking a rule. “Go ahead, say it.”

“Say what Yoongi. That I was worried you got on your bike and ran off the road? That you might have come to her place and hurt yourself from it being a trigger. Tell me what else could have been running through my head.” Jin plops down on the bed beside me, shoving his hand in his hair. “I can’t think about not having my best friend so yeah I worry. I wouldn't have come here or blown up your phone if you would have just called me. Hell even texted me you were okay.”

Placing my hand on his shoulder as much as he doesn't like to admit it he's a softy for physical touch, especially my rare moments. “ I should have answered that it was my fault, once it kept going I threw it cause it-” he shrugs my hand off and wraps his arm around me. “ made me mad, it was taking me out of my safe place in my mind. With her.” I whisper.

“Are you hallucinating again Yoongi?” Hobi asks, I shake my head no. I guess it's time to explain my escape. “You might want to take a seat for this Hobi.” he takes a spot next to Jin placing his hand on his thigh. What I wouldn't do to have the comfort of Vi right now.

“Since my Second long term In-patient as a teen, a way to make it more survivable I was told by a therapist to create a room in my head of all the most precious things in my life to remember what is worth living for.” I gulp reaching for her sheet, balling it into my fist for comfort. “My teenage mind went straight to Vi.” letting out a sigh finally telling someone this part of me “I think though no matter what age, it would always be her. I was not able to see her there so my mind drifted to her, laughing, smiling, messing around with Hans, Trying to annoy the ever loving shit of me.” I laugh a little, Jin starts to rub comforting circles on my shoulder.

“After the first time I did it was like I locked her up in my mind just for me whenever I needed her, not just her but any sort of comfort and a will to live. If she could smile like that after everything she has been through, how could I not push through and be there for her, to see the woman she would become.”

Hobi speaks up “everyone deals with trauma in a different way Yoon, but she should not be your only reason to live. You do not want to live for yourself? To prove to your own self you did it and made it out on the other side?” He makes a good point and I’m finally getting to that point of realizing that. I have come a long way.

“It's what it used to be like. Recently my views have changed even though I live for her, I live for myself too.” that earns me a squeeze on my shoulder. “ Back to what I was saying. It was a room with walls like the hospital, but she slowly turned it into a home with fuzzy blankets, nick nacks she randomly pops up with, and those silk sheets she swears by.” I smile at the thought of my home she built in my mind.

“She made it a safe zone in your own mind.” Jin whispers, finally catching on, I nod.

“A safe zone I had unlimited access to, and don't you dare ask if I thought of other things I know you’re itching to know.” Jin sighs “Fine.” Hobi laughs at that. It feels nice to talk to them about this together in a way they are my second safe zone. “It became a place I only let myself Indulge in as I got older, I’d lock it up with Imaginary locks Which turned into chains. At one point I had it under military guard trying to keep myself from it.” my lip twitches and I swallow the emotions I often hide.

“But why lock it up when he was keeping you going? We all have a vice.” Hobi asks and he reaches over Jin to pull my fingers away from picking at my cuticles. I don't acknowledge what I was doing, just continue spilling everything I have been holding onto all these years. “I kept it from myself because at times I was scared of my mind when at low points I would confuse them and I would tell her, or say something that should be kept for my own little escape.” biting down on the inside of my lip, tasting the metallic fire that I caused it washes over me in comfort knowing this is real.

“Thank you for telling me Yoongs; I know this is a safe zone for you but does she know?” Jin looks at me, gaining my attention and his gaze lingers on my lip; he points to the tissues at the bedside table and Hobi hands one over to him and wipes my lip of the one thing telling me this was real. I shake my head no, and they both just nod, sighing “I’m not ready to.”

“Okay.” they both say in unison knowing not to push me too far. “Just know the longer you wait the worse the reaction you may get from her. I may see it as a coping skill, but to her she may see it as you didnt want to make those steps with the real her keeping her in the dark.” I know this; having thought about it from years in facilities at night wondering when I would open up to her. The way this all played out I didn't even have time to be with her let alone say.

“Hey, I have a place in my head that is just you and me in my own utopia and I use it to escape the world.You built it and made it a home with all your stuff, your scent, laugh, and smiles. Oh by the way I have loved you since we were kids.” that would go over so well don't you think. Yeah nope; feeling a tap on my shoulder Jin just gives me a small smile “You there?” Giving him a nod, I just want a moment alone to think to just be.

“Can I stay a little longer? I’ll come home; promise." They both know Jin squeezes my shoulder and Hobi squeezes my hand getting up to leave. “Be home in an hour or this time I’m really getting your ass.” Jin says; Hobi pats his back laughing giving us both some lightness to the conversation. “You better be back or he might throw your stuff out at this point, see you soon Yoongi. We love you even if he can be a little overbearing.” Jin lets out a gasp and walks out the door. Damn I love them, a small smile spreads across my lips.

Once I hear the door shut; pulling my shirt off getting back into my own safe haven within these back sheets under the stars. I get my phone Seeing ‘read’ on the conversation with Vi with three little bubbles that are continuously starting and stopping. What is she trying to type out? Come on baby say something.

I stare at the ceiling pulling the chains back and slip into my mind; Violet is next to me in her bed were cuddling watching ‘Fruits Basket’ for what feels like the hundredth time. She smells of vanilla and some musk to her, she starts to smell like myself meshing into one person. Tapping on my stomach with her dainty hands giggling at something Kyo just did, and I find myself comparing myself to the young boy in the show hiding his feelings from girl the loves, let alone himself. He does acts of service for her and shows her in small acts but he lets his anger sometimes get the better of him with other people. Damn I really could be him, and Violet is so much like Trohu happy go lucky, living in the moment trying to move on from her past; putting everyone ahead of herself. Is she connected to this show because she sees herself in it?

My phone vibrates on my chest; jolting to look at it.

Vi: I love you too, Yoongs. I see you at the apartment mister. 👀

A wave of comfort rolls through my chest like a tidal wave. She looks where I’m just I do her. See I’m not a stalker.

Me: What can I say you were right about these sheets miss.

Vi: Meh Should’ve brought them with me you hog! 😑

Me: Nah then I’d be coming to you the moment you got them on your bed.

Vi: I bought you your own set!

Me: Well Violet they don't SMELL like YOU.

After that text her bubbles put up and starting and stopping by the looks of it I got her right where I wanted, questioning everything about us, herself, me and most of all our situation. How did we ever get to this point? We got here cause we’re too jagged puzzle pieces trying to mold our sides to become one.

Vi: Looks like I’ll need to do a sheetz exchange with you huh?

Me: You’re really trying to get me to never leave your place sweets?

Vi: Maybe you’re right where I want you in my bubble.

I blank out at the last text from her. In her bubble? She wants me here? Wait this just fuels me to never leave to make this place even more a home with her being gone and set up the second bedroom in a cozy den for her to escape to with all her little trinkets on shelves. Make her kitchen into the baker's dream with everything she could want. All the tools to finally get those french toast correct; put up ‘Fruits Basket’ decor little zodiac statues on a shelf with a picture of me and her in the middle of all the little figures.

Vi: You thinkin alot about that last message. Look who's the cat now, I got your tongue Yoongi.

Vi: I’ll say it for you Yoongs. It's yours too since the day Hans and I moved in there it has always been part yours. Use the space to make OURS. It hasn't felt like home since Hans left besides when you are there. 🫶🏻

Me: Ours?

Vi: You listen to me you doof. Yes! OURS.

Me: Yeah okay ours as in us. I’ll make it home for you. I’ll be waiting for you baby.

She sends a voice memo next and her voice comes out airy, with sleepy heavy on her tongue.

“I love you Min Yoongi, next time don’t go missing on Jin he’ll kill me if I’m the reason. Don't tell Hobi, but I think Jin might love you more.” She laughs continuing “Tell me everything I missed in the last ten days. I’m not used to not knowing what you’re up to. How was in-patient? Oh! You tell them about me? Mhm Yoongs?” She takes a pause. “Don’t tell me tonight, give me the mystery for tonight. I can't sleep, new places are always hard for me. What if someone recognizes me from dad? No, I can't think about that. Just let me hear your voice once and I’ll go to bed Yoongs.” she sighs

Hearing her voice makes me grip my phone to the point of leaving indents in my palm. She wants to know everything but little does she know she has a whole letter coming her way to tell her absolutely everything that has happened, but I’ll give her what she asked for. My hand feels clammy holding my phone like a teenager talking to their crush for the first time. What the hell is wrong with me? I have seen her in her most vulnerable position cumming on me. Nope, don't go there Yoongi. So starting the memo for her

“Hi baby, don’t worry I think Hobi already knows Jin loves me more but let's not rain on their parade they got going on.” I laugh a bit at that. “ As for telling you everything baby; watch out for your mail, you'll be getting something soon to give you all the intel you need. I’m totally winking by the way and the smirk you love so much on my lips. Don't you lie, Sweets. we both know you love it.” I pause and sigh, running my tongue ring across my teeth thinking where I should go with this. My other hand falls to my neck pulling on the chain, holding the pendant moving it back and forth.

“Have you one of those lollipops you love so much have that pineapple for me, I know I sure do need my fix.” I look over on her nightstand and see one there. I know what I will do for her the moment I see it. “As for your dad baby, there is no running from our past but only running with it, it's a race you will cross together cause you are one with it my strong girl. We will be in this race together tho it will not just be your past, present and future running with you including me in that race and I will trip them when they get too much on you holding them back go you can catch some space.” I reach out and pull the lollipop from her nightstand grabbinging, and setting my phone on my chest. Starting to unwrap the lollipop I get a smell of the taste that has been all consuming me; She consumes me without knowing.

“You hear that sound baby? It's your favorite thing, your pineapple lollipops. I want you to have one and think of every single time we have shared one. Let the taste fill your senses; get lost in us baby. I’m right there with you holding it out for you to take. Escape with me to a place that is ours in your silk sheets under the stars. I love you Violet Rose; goodnight my love.”

Once I send it I see ‘read’ right away and waiting for a response feels like a lifetime from her. I just want to wrap her in my arms and never let her carry her with me wherever I go. The never ending bubbles pop up and stop again; I start to overthink. Did I say too much? Go too far? All i did was open up just like if she was here looking into those misty eyes that suck me into the void with them taking me all for herself.

After a few minutes I get another voice memo from my girl; instantly I feel my stomach drop with nerves. I suck in a breath and press play letting the lollipop taste take all my senses.

“Yoongs, you know how much I love you?” my cheek goes aflame; smiling like an idiot. I hear her rustling with her sheets. “I got my lollipop, they were still packed, maybe I’m turning into you needing a fix.” she laughs at herself; hearing the crinkle of the wrapper come off it I can picture it, no picture of her with the moon cascading off her walls spread across her body laying in bed in my hoodie. “Thank you Yoons for being here for me tonight.” she says in a whisper, and I want to cut her off instantly, pull her into my chest and tell her I’ll always be there for her.

“I’m excited to see what you have coming for me. I'll be waiting to hear about everything. Don’t scare Jin too much kay? He's getting old” she laughs; I hear the lollipop scrap across her teeth a hum. “You were right this is what I needed. You and us even if it's in my head.” she trails off. “Goodnight Yoonie.”

I don't think I have in me to send another voice memo because my chest feels like it's caving in and I need to ground myself so I don't slip. Tapping my fingers on my chest

One. Violet. Two. Her smile. Three. Pineapples with Violet. Four. Her laugh. Five. Her heart of gold.

Me: Goodnight, my love. I love you sweet dreams. I’ll see you in them.

Thank you for reading. ₊˚⊹♡

Previous | Next

All rights belong to @/Yoon-Topias. Do not copy/ translate.

4 notes · View notes

sin-cognito · 1 year ago

Text

Rarepair New Year 2024 ch12: Sans/Horror, Pen pal

SFW

Wordcount: 3468

hello pen pal

READ ON AO3

hello pen pal

my name i'm my name is sans. i'm a skeleton and i'm 10. miss toriel said we have to write letters for people in the hospital. miss toriel is my teacher and she's very nice. i go to school every day and my favorite is maths and i don't like sprots. i leave live with my daddy and my little brother who is taller than me but i'm the older brother. his name is papyrus and he's very cool. for gyftmas daddy bought me a teloscop so i can watch the stars because i love space. i watch documentaryies about space and i can name more than 50 stars. my dream is to become an astronot one day.

i wait for your reply sans

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror rubs his hands together, trying to warm himself up. It's better here in the bus than outside, but he's still very much underdressed for the weather. Today is a snow day and despite the cold, Horror can't help but smile as he watches the white scenery go by. He leans his skull on the window, careful not to let his wound make contact with the freezing glass. It's freshly healed and still sensitive. He tugs his beanie down a little.

Horror checks his phone. He's got one message from his brother that he quickly replies to. Everything is going well for now, his train was on time and now he's on a bus, on his way to the outskirts of town. He checked the route so many times over the last few days that he's confident he's not going to get lost.

He hopes.

Well, he's got his phone and it's still over 75% charged, so there's no reason for him to get anxious about it.

He has a goal today.

He's going to deliver his most precious letter to a very special person.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yo pen pal!

i had my 12th bday last week, we had a pool party in the garden, it was awesome. we played so hard that i fell asleep before dinner and didn't wake up. i was so hungry the next morning, no joke!

paps lost his last baby tooth, so we made him a cake with dad. he said he didn't care for the taste, so i convinced dad to make it a lemon cake because lemon cakes are the best, right? i helped dad bake it and it was super good. one day i'll make you one too.

you said in your last letter that you were about to have another surgery, how did it go? do you have some cool scars? i have a scar on the back of my skull from when i fell when i was a kid. everyone at school thinks it's cool. but i can't see it myself so that's too bad.

k i gotta go, waiting for your next letter! bye

sans

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror got off the bus a couple stops too late, so now he's stuck either walking back or waiting for the bus to come from the other direction. According to his map, he's not that far that he could just walk the distance himself, but he knows he'll feel silly if the bus passes him by and he's not riding it. Kinda like waiting 10 minutes for the elevator and giving up then going down the stairs right when it finally arrives.

Plus it's still snowing.

Horror crosses the road and checks the printed timetable. The next bus is in 20 minutes, which isn't that long, but in the cold Horror knows he's going to suffer. He buries his hands in his pockets and realizes with dread that his wallet is gone.

He pats himself over, searches his jacket and his pants pockets, but can't find the damn thing anywhere. He doesn't think anyone stole it, the bus was pretty empty. He must've dropped it.

Either way, that means that he's going to have to walk. He'll try to call the bus company later to ask for his wallet, or at least to get a ticket so that he can go home.

For now he just shrugs and starts walking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hey yo pen bud!

remember red? i sent you a pic of him. well this asshole got himself a girl, and now he's always ditching our plans to take her on dates or what. it's annoying. we're 15, we're supposed to have fun and play video games all summer, but instead he goes to the mall and buys clothes and actually pays for his movie ticket. and hers too, what a loser.

i still got paps to hang out with. he's the best. you know what he said the other day? he wants to write to you too! isn't he the best? he reads your letters over my shoulder, fudge he's so tall and i'm so small i hate it, when i receive them and he's around, and he read the part where you said the hospital was lonely and you wanted more letters from me. he said he could write to you too. but you know, i'm going to write you more so you'll have to write me back more, and maybe you won't have time for him.

i'll add some stickers with the letter. i think you'll like them, it's cats. there's a sheet with food stickers too since you said the hospital food is so disgusting. you can stick them to the food to pretend it's not as bad. but don't eat them. the stickers.

i got a ton of homework since i got into the advanced program at school so that's all for today. don't worry i'll find the time to write you more, i promise.

your good pal, sans

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror trudges through the snow, his breath disappearing into white puffs in the midday sun. His stomach growls. He was hoping to be done with his errand by now and grab a quick bite before going home, but with the bus issue he doesn't know when he'll get to have lunch.

Oh well, it's not like he's never gone hungry before. He still remembers the horrible hospital food and how he used to skip every meal possible, until the nurses had to sit him down and explain that if he wanted his skull to heal properly, he had to eat. Even then Horror knew this was bullshit. His skull was broken, the damage was done, and no amount of eating the flavorless food of the hospital would make it better.

The wound did finally heal, no thanks to his meals, but he still has difficulties with most everyday things. For the most part, he can manage. As long as he doesn't need to think too hard or for too long, he's good to go. What he could go without though are the headaches and the forgetfulness. He tries his best to remember things, but sometimes they just stay right out of his grasp, nagging him.

There's nothing he can do about that though, so he's reluctantly learned to live with it.

And it's not like he forgets everything anyway. Just the trivial stuff.

He won't forget about his brother for example, who has been his rock in his recovery. He won't forget about the accident either, when he lost his father and got his skull broken in half.

He of course won't forget about Sans, his pen pal. And crush.

And the reason he's presently trudging through the snow in an unfamiliar city.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hello friendo, what's up!

dude i have to tell you something. you're the first one i'm saying this to, even though by the time this letter reaches you i'll have told red too. but you're still the first, technically. remember alphys? i told you about her, she's in the same year as me, she's a dino monster and she's cute as fuck. so i got her number the other day, and she told me she got invited to this big ass party and she was too shy to go alone. so you know what i did? i said i'll go with her and we went and we got drunk and we went back to her car and she said it was hot and she removed her shirt. dude she removed her shirt and i saw her breasts and she's chubby you know and those are motherfucking badonks like i shit you not actually watermelons. and this guy here got to touch them! for real i'm not kidding you, she let me grope her tits and then i said like we should kiss, i don't know, i don't remember but i scored and dude, fuck that was the best sex ever like you have no idea it was so good and not gonna lie her foofoo kinda was like slime but warm. so yeah i'm a man now and then she was like asking me if i want to be her boyfriend and i said yes but i played it cool because red said you got to play it cool with girls. dude i drove her home and it was so awkward at school on monday but i kissed her again and i asked her if we can make love again and she said okay but we have to wait next weekend and i'll go to her house this time. so yeah we're going to do it in a bed this time. the car wasn't very comfortable and i had sore bones the next day but maybe you know it's just because i got to have sex i don't know.

she's texting me so bye sans

ps: i'm including candies with the letter, they're from miss muffet's where i get donuts. she makes candies now and they're so good, i wanted you to have some. the blue ones are my favorite, they're blueberry flavored. i know you like cherry the most so i bought more of them. okay bye now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror looks at his phone again, pulling out the map on the tiny screen. He has to squint his remaining eyelight to make sense of it, but he smiles in victory when he recognizes the park that's in front of him. It's the little green dot on his phone, and as he runs the tip of his finger across the screen, he can see that his destination is very close now.

He turns around a couple times to make sure that he's heading in the right direction and then off he goes.

He walks through the park, watching fondly as he passes by a group of kids playing in the snow. They're throwing snowballs at each other or making snowmen while others are lying down on the ground, flapping their arms and legs around to create snow angels.

Horror never got to do any of this as a kid, but he doesn't feel like he missed much. He's been exchanging letters with Sans for a little over a decade now, and his pen pal has written all about his adventures in such great detail that it's as if Horror has lived it all himself. So sure, it's not the same since Horror hasn't really done anything himself, but it's better than nothing, and Horror owes Sans a big deal for sharing his life like this with him for all these years.

That's why Horror is here today. His last surgery was very successful and he got discharged 2 weeks ago, after 11 years in the hospital. He hasn't told Sans yet, and he wants to surprise his best friend with a hand delivered letter. He's known Sans' address for a while now, and while he's not expecting to actually meet Sans, since he knows the other is most probably at work at this time of the day, he's very excited about his plan to deliver his next letter himself.

It's a special letter too. In it, Horror confesses his crush on Sans and goes into detail about how much the other means to him. He's not expecting anything out of the confession, it's just important for Sans to know that Horror loves him.

His cheeks red from the cold, Horror pulls his beanie further down as he keeps walking. He finally reaches a building that matches the address he got. He comes up to the door and realizes that he can't enter the building itself as he doesn't know the door code.

The problem is that the mail boxes are inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hi horror, how are you doing?

how did the surgery go? i checked your last 3 letters and you tell me about surgeries in each one, you're going under the knife a lot lately. i'm worried about you, i really hope it's going to work this time. will you let me visit you if it does? i know you always say no when i ask but i want to meet you, you're my best friend you know? and it's important to have support when going through health stuff so i could keep you company while you recover. i have a couple books i bought for your birthday that i haven't gotten to sending you yet because i'm still waiting for one more secret thing to arrive. i could read them to you.

in other news, i got accepted in ebott university! i'm so happy! i still can't believe it. i'm moving out next month, it's going to be so weird living alone, but my dad found a good apartment near the university. i saw pictures and it looks huge so i can invite red over to play video games, or paps when he's on holidays. i told dad i wanted to find a summer job to help pay for it, but he told me to focus on my studies. i didn't insist too much! when i told my boyfriend, he got pissed that i was moving out of town and told me to go to community college with him instead so i told him off and we broke up. i'm not sad about it anymore, i think i would've broken up with him anyway. both red and paps didn't like him, that was my first clue. it's not bad to start university single i guess.

i have a ton of stuff to do so i stop here. i'll send you my new address in my next letter.

have a quick recovery. i think of you. sans

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"yeah, no, don't worry paps, it's just a little cold, i promise you," Sans rasps into his phone. Stars his throat hurts. "yeah, i'm almost home, i bought meds already and i fully intend to spend the afternoon resting, don't worry. no, i promise i won't work on my thesis. i'll rest. yeah okay, bye. love you."

Sans hungs up and sighs, setting off a nasty coughing fit. He woke up with a sore throat this morning but decided to go to the university anyway since he's been making really good progress on his thesis lately. Unfortunately, by the time he got there, he was dizzy enough to get his temperature checked and was told to go home and rest. After a quick visit to the doctor, he's now on his miserable way home. He already took some meds right after his visit to the doctor and at least most of his headache is gone now.

As he shuffles along, he notices a silhouette standing in front of his building entrance. A skeleton about his age looks defeatedly at the glass door, staring at the mail boxes. Sans immediately realizes that he's far from being properly dressed for the weather and shivers just thinking about how cold the other must be. At least he's wearing a beanie to keep his skull warm and as Sans keeps staring at the other, he realizes that he knows that beanie.

It's the one he bought a few months ago for…

"horror?" He asks out loud and to his surprise, the skeleton whips his skull around, finally noticing him.

"sans," the other simply says, his left eyelight widening like a cat's pupil.

Momentarily forgetting about his sore throat and his headache, Sans feels himself smile dumbly at the other, quickly crossing the couple steps to Horror. He carefully grabs his friend's shoulder and yes, he's real, Horror is really here. Sans' smile stretches to its limits.

"oh my stars, what are you doing here? it's really you, i can't believe it!"

Horror turns to face Sans and with a small, fragile voice, he says, "i was discharged a week ago. i wanted to give you this."

He presents Sans with a letter and that's when Sans realizes how desperately white and stiff Horror's fingers are. He wraps his hands around Horror's to warm them up before pulling the other inside the bulding.

"come here, buddy, let's get you warmed up first."

He leads his friend inside his appartment and sits him on the sofa while he makes some hot chocolate. He adds a handful of marshmallows to Horror's drink, knowing the other loves sweets. Horror thanks him for the drink, which he gulps down gratefully and with gusto, putting another smile on Sans' face.

It's been a while since he's seen a picture of Horror, so he didn't know his friend had grown up to be such a handsome monster.

Once Horror seems warmed up enough, Sans takes a look at what he brought: there's the letter, but also a little box decorated with a bunch of food and cat stickers that look familiar to Sans but he can't quite place them. He opens the box and his eyelights sparkles as he takes in the bunch of candies inside. Lemon and lime candies, blueberry cookies and lemon bars, it all looks so delicious. Sans loves lemon and blueberry.

He shakes his skull and focuses back on Horror, grabbing the letter.

"so you made it all the way here to give me this? you could've sent it you know?"

Horror nods.

"yes i know, but it was importantfor me to hand deliver it to you. i wrote a confession in it, so it's important," he explains.

Sans tilts his head. "a confession?"

"yes," Horror nods and what he says next has Sans' SOUL do a backflip in his chest. "a confession of my feelings for you. i like you, sans."

Sans finds himself staring wordlessly at Horror. He can't believe what he's hearing, and he feels himself starting to blush hard.

Sans has had a big crush on Horror ever since he realized he was bi. Sure he's dated other guys since the epiphany, but that was because he lived too far from Horror to be his boyfriend. But no guy (or girl for that matter) has ever been able to compare to Horror in Sans' mind, and so many times he's wanted to drop everything and go pay him a visit. He's known where the other was hospitalized since they were kids after all. He never went through with it because Horror always turned down his requests to visit and Sans was respectful of his friend's wishes not be to bothered while he was hospitalized. He knew that it wasn't because Horror didn't want to meet him, he just didn't want Sans to see him in that state and while it was frustrating to not be able to visit his best friend (and crush), Sans understood.

So to be told that Horror went all the way here to personally give Sans a letter when he confesses he has feelings for him… To say that Sans is filled with emotion is the understatement of the year, and Sans has to blink back tears.

Sans carefully opens the letter and reads it. Horror's letters have never been long in the first place, but this one is particularly brief. It's just a handful of words, really, where Horror makes it clear how important Sans is to him.

When he's done reading, Sans goes to sit next to Horror on the couch, smiling at him fondly.

"horror, will you be my boyfriend?" He asks simply, and struggles to keep a chuckle in at the surprised look on the other's face.

Horror doesn't look to believe it at first, but he must be able to read on Sans' face how serious he is, and he nods timidly.

"erm, yes. i really want to."

Sans wraps his arms around Horror and hugs him tight.

"if i didn't have a cold, i'd kiss you," he declares happily, but with a touch of frustration.

Horror giggles.

"i lost my wallet and can't go home anyway. i have all the time in the world to wait for you to get better, like you waited for me to heal."

"guess you're stuck with me for a while then."

"i don't mind."

#Cognito fic #Rarepair New Year 2024 #Sans/Horror #Sans #Horror #Horror!Sans #SFW #Tw: medical #that's prob not the right Tw so let me know if you can think of how to word it better XD

11 notes · View notes