#but it came off more as her just being a little hussie lol

[simthorium]

In honor of graduation, Shea, Jordyn, and Luna were throwing a huge rager on the rooftop of Shea’s building. Music had been blasting all night and high school and college kids alike were passing through, coming for the music and booze. Even though it was a happy occassion, Shea felt a little upset. Her girlfriend Asia had decided not to come after they’d gotten into a big fight, which meant she was the only one there without  a partner.

Shea rolled her eyes as she watched Jordyn dance with her boyfriend Johnny and Luna make out with her boyfriend James. It just felt so unfair! They were all having this party together, at her house, and she was the third wheel.

“Let’s hear it for the graduates!” Kauker exclaimed from the DJ booth. “We want the people all the way in Strangetown to hear us!!!” Everyone on the rooftop whooped and cheered as loud as they could.

“This party is sick,” James said as he danced with Luna. “I know, right?” she said with a smile. “We only through the coolest parties, obviously. It’s gonna be even better when we get to college!”

“Dude, I thought the Zarro family practically invented the Smustle!” Johnny said, laughing a little at Jordyn’s stiff dance moves. “Hey, it’s not my fault I was born with two left feet,” she said. “Just pretend I’m really good and hot.” “No need to pretend there, babe,” Johnny said with a smile.

As the night went on, more and more people began to show up at the party, including Zaire Vasquez. Shea had had a crush on Zaire all year, but had never acted on it since she was dating Asia. But, she was tipsy and feeling sad about the fight she’d had with her girlfriend, and figured it’d be harmless to make a move.

“I’m a movie star, you know,” Shea said, touching Zaire’s shoulder. “I know,” Zaire said. “That’s the only reason I’m here.” “Ouch,” Shea said with a laugh. “You know, if you’re nice to me, I could talk to my director and put you in my next movie.” “Does that line ever work?” Zaire asked. “I guess we’re about to find out,” said Shea.

Shea stepped forward and grabbed Zaire, pulling her into a sloppy kiss. Zaire kissed back, and soon the two were full on making out in the middle of the dance floor.

“Sorry I’m late, I had to--” Asia stopped in the middle of her sentence when she saw Shea making out with Zaire. Johnny furtively tapped Shea on the shoulder to alert her to the incoming drama, and Shea untangled herself from Zaire.

“You have GOT to be kidding me!” Asia shouted, nearly louder than the music. “We get into one fight and you’re off kissing the first girl you see!?” “C’mon Asia, it’s not like that,” Shea said, still tipsy.  “Oh really?” Asia asked. “What’s it like, then? Tell me.” Shea thought for a second, trying to string a coherent sentence together, but her words were failing her.

“I’m sorry,” Shea said, her shoulders sagging. “Things have been so weird between us and I was mad about the fight.” “So you wanted to hurt me back,” Asia said with a sigh. “No, no,” Shea said. “I would never want to hurt you.” “Well, it’s too late,” said Asia, tears in her eyes. “You did. And we’re through!” She turned on her heel and stormed out.

“Yikes,” Zaire said after Asia left. “Movie stars are so much more drama than they’re worth.” “Way to rub it in, man,” Shea muttered.

“Hey kid,” said Shea’s older cousin Rumi. “That looked absolutely dreadful and I’m so sorry about it all, buy my boyfriend just called, so I’m gonna dip.” “You watch me get dumped and then tell me about your booty call?” Shea summarized. Rumi shrugged and left. After a while, most of the older cousins had gone as well.

Soon it was back to being just the high school graduates, and the youngest of generation 7. James and Luna chatted about college, Jordyn and Johnny made out some more, and Shea squirted juice directly into her mouth in an attempt to drown out everything that happened tonight.

After the party was over, Shea made her way down to her bedroom. Strangely enough, Zaire was there. “Party’s over,” Shea muttered. “Go home, I wanna go to sleep.” “You sure?” Zaire asked, her hands grabbing Shea’s hips. “I felt like our kiss got interrupted. Shea smiled up at her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, pulling her into the kiss. The two made out for a little, then fell onto the bed, getting tangled in the sheets and one another.

[peas093zzz]

Letters to the Lover Unknown...

A story of two poets (Zola & Jermaine) who meet through a poets pen pal program . They are matched up and write poems to one another, they eventually get to know each other through letters and decide to write a poetry book together about love since most of their poems are about the trials of their love lives. They eventually meet and fall in love.

Zola

Set the Mood:

“New Apartment-Ari Lennox”

“Starting Now-Brandy”

“Self Care-Savannah Christine”

The big move...

I have spent most of my life in San Myshuno, being a true city girl at my core. I’ll miss the hustle bustle of the city but I need a change of pace. Windenburg was really 3rd on my list of places to move but Newcrest was still devoloping and San Sequoia was too family oriented for me. I still wanted to experience a good night life while also having the option to live in suburbia quietness. It’s also not too far of a drive, 4hrs was not too bad and a 1hr flight was something I could stomach.

My older brother Sailen (Say-Len) was helping me with the drive and moving into my new place. I got lucky with the place I found. When I was scouting one weekend. I happened to look in the classifieds and saw a 1/1 available with some stipulations. I later called and spoke with an older widow named Peggy, she said the rent would be lower if I did grocery shopping for her weekly and came by to help with her garden. She lived in Henford-O-Bradley which was a 20min drive from my new home. She seemed sweet and like she could use some company. I love my elders. Hearing their stories from youth until present day is my favorite pastime. They have so much wisdom and beautiful life lessons. It also gave me something to do while exploring and hopefully meeting new people.

S:“Ayeee man turn this lovey dovey shit off! Put on something else, bout to fall asleep at the wheel”

Z:“Nobody wants to listen to Rod wave crybaby ass!”

S:“N**ga I’m driving so I get the Aux anyway!”

Rolls eyes and switches the playlist, he so aggy man.

S:“30 more mins and you’ll be starting your new life! how you feeling bug?!”

Z:*Sigh* “I’m excited but a little nervous. My head is all over the place to be honest. Everything is secured but I’m just worried about making friends. I have not even met my new co workers yet! Idk I know I’m overthinking it but I just want to this to be a good decision ya know?

S:“Do you ever really know if something is good or not? Tbh it could be a bad one or it could be the best decision of your life, the only way to know is to try. To experience it. You don’t want to get old and regret not going for it and any where you go you’ll meet someone who'll like your weird ass lol.”

Z:“Shut up! I really can’t stand you sometimes but you’re right”

S:“And don’t worry about friends I’m going out tonight I’ll bring you back some “friends”

Z:“You better not bring no strange hussies to my new apartment lol”

My brother and I could not be more different but he truly is my bestie. I was sad to be leaving him and the family back at home. But I wasn’t happy and they knew it too. My brother was my number one supporter for this move, probably because it gives him an excuse to come to party and have a place to crash at afterwards. He is quite the explorer but cool with never leaving home fr. He’s kinda a mommas boy lol and my mother and I ehhh.

S: "We here bug!"

We finally arrived to my new place, I could not wait to fill this place with furniture but mostly new memories and fun times. Time to blast Ari Lennox “new apartment”

[alpacahat67]

Okay, I posted about Diamond Dogs at 7 in the morning and... I feel as if it wasn't my best writing. So... okay here's my Actual thoughts on Diamond Dogs.

Note that I haven't listened to all of Bowie's discography yet so go easy on me.

Generally, my thoughts about Diamond Dogs are mixed. I feel as if it has a lot of good material, both music and story-wise, but... side two is... not the best for a Bowie album, save for Big Brother which is literally in my top 10 Bowie songs. I might just have to read 1984 to appreciate it though, lol. It's really astonishing that this album turned out so objectively good and well received by critics IMO and honestly? Yeah I get it.

At first I really didn't like Diamond Dogs. I thought a lot of the songs just... they weren't my cup of tea, and I still am not a fan of Sweet Thing personally and I think the snare in Candidate is FAR too loud (typical percussion critique comment, sorry, but like seriously do you know what moongel is man buy a sticky hand from a coin machine that works just as well). And that was the extent of my opinions. Of course, I'm less partial to soul as a genre, and as it seems Bowie was playing around with soul in this era of his career, it makes sense as to why I didn't quite like some of the more soul-heavy songs.

Then I relistened to Diamond Dogs. And, boy, I really like the album now. It's not as good as The Man Who Sold The World or Station to Station in my books, but it's really good. Mainly, I enjoy the storyline of Diamond Dogs, but mostly side one. I need to read 1984 so I'm left with an incomplete understanding of side two, which is mostly an homage to 1984 (not like Bowie could turn it into a musical, lmaooo.)

I really like Halloween Jack! He's up there in my favorite Bowie characters! I feel as if he had a lot of potential that he didn't live up to because he was brought into the story so soon and then never mentioned again, and also the fact that he didn't exist as a stage character for long and was quickly replaced by the Soul Man. Furthermore, I love the worldbuilding of Hunger City and the gang of the Diamond Dogs that we get in the first half of the album. I really wish the entire album was solely that concept! Bowie seemed to have so many plans that were probably born from spite when his request to adapt 1984 into a musical was declined and I wish he got to put those ideas to good use. Rebel Rebel ends off side one and is a... really good song, yes, it ends off the half well, but... many critics bring up how it doesn't further the story provided in side one and I have to agree. It could be about Halloween Jack as he's mentioned to have a "hussy" with him and... if it's from his POV then it's probably about her. But that's the only correlation I really see. And to be fair, sometimes songs don't have to fit into an album's story, sometimes a guy can just write a funny little song. So it doesn't take away from my enjoyment of side one of Diamond Dogs

The second half of the album, side two, somehow, doesn't feel as... refined. Maybe because Bowie, realistically, might have had to leave that part as simplistic because again no rights to 1984. I feel as if someone more well-versed in the original media could comment further on this. I don't know I just... I wasn't interested in this half of the album. Until We Are The Dead and Big Brother came on but.

I don't know. It's not a bad album by any means, it just has some rough spots, and I greatly prefer one half to the other. It comes down to it not being my cup of tea more than anything. David Bowie's music is great about that though because he has changed his focus so much that like, he has a song for EVERYONE.

I'm very impressed by Diamond Dogs nonetheless, because you'd think it'd be a bad album because it was kind of a rebuilding period? Prior to this album, Bowie had fired all of his backing band from his Ziggy Stardust tour, and the documentary Cracked Actor came out around the same time as Diamond Dogs revealing Bowie's struggle with a cocaine addiction that had worsened during this time. It's also a more experimental period as he was clearly transitioning out of glam rock. I'd liken it to Hunky Dory, just in reverse. Where Hunky Dory was sort of like a precursor to Ziggy and kinda like Bowie playing around with the concept of glam rock while still maintaining some of that folk music he was doing previously, Diamond Dogs is Bowie playing around with soul while still maintaining some of that glam rock he was doing previously. A gateway between Ziggy to the Duke. Y'know?

TL;DR, Paul Trynka calls Diamond Dogs "a beautiful mess" and I agree. It is a mess, but because Bowie seemed to be able to write a hit song in his sleep, it wasn't BAD by any means. I really like it... even though there's some other albums I enjoy more.

I also think it's very fun that punks in rollerblades was a concept for the album before punk existed. He predicted punk. Also that audio glitch in Chant of the Ever Circling Skeletal Family that Bowie kept in lol.

[red-elric]

oh i agree w you fully here lol. was being a bit poetic about the emotions behind the paradox space narrative and i think somewhere along the way the thread of how *i actually feel about it* might have been lost. the narrative of homestuck (paradox space, sburb, the alpha timeline, whatever) is like. kind of a character in its own in many ways? it tries its best to tell a good story, i think, and part of that for homestuck at least is pretty fuckin tragic (which also reflects the online culture of the time, w quite a lot of teens acting like it was cool to be suicidal. the god tier mechanic alone reflects that specific tragedy pretty blatantly). the forced determinism of that narrative is one of the BIGGEST tragic themes in the work as a whole, from a meta standpoint, and its actually hugely revolutionary that the kids were able to break free from that determinism w the retcon powers. like i fuckin cried over it many times when it was coming out, it's a good thing they were able to escape. (i also love terezi, shes easily one of my favorite characters if not the number one. i think her logic can get pretty flawed when it comes to vriska, but i literally cannot blame her for that one iota. shes great!)

the thing is tho the retcon does fully break the narrative, and that means the story isnt gonna be as satisfying anymore. like when you break away from the path of 'everything in this story has been building up to this ending' things get a little wonky! and thats a tragedy of its own, and thats why all the post canon content is so depressing. things flew off the rails 🤷 im not gonna make any judgements on which way works better from a moral/ethical standpoint (retcon or no) bc the core issue revolves around the fact that homestuck is a fictional story with a narrative arc and a deterministic timeline mechanic, and thats almost meaningless in real world ethics. like i wouldnt even know how to start from there. but from a story standpoint, traditionally the 'without retcon' version would have been a little more satisfying for readers. but breaking the mold and destroying the story itself was a v ballsy and fascinating move by hussie, and very in character for both john and terezi, so i tend to like that they made that choice even though everything that came afterwards was pretty clunky! like im pro retcon, i just wish the execution was a little better lol

i think what a lot of ppl miss about the nuance when it comes to the retcon is that the POINT of it is that its a bad ending. homestuck is designed to be a tragedy and it was never going to end well; its frankly ridiculous to try and shoehorn in a scenario where none of the current main characters are dead when the story is ABOUT death. its not narratively satisfying at all like this! but thats not what the kids wanted (and, more to the point, thats not what the FANS wanted. newer fans DEFINITELY miss the fact that homestuck was written as a conversation between hussie and the fans, a conversation that turned into an argument halfway through and led to a lot of things being taken in bad faith on both sides. but i digress; this is a watsonian post)

the retcon powers are very VERY explicitly described as the ability to change the alpha timeline. the 'whats supposed to happen' of it all, the premeditated narrative the story was written to fill. conversely, when aranea used the ring of life to come back and meddle, she is explicitly described as 'causing a doomed timeline.' and like, the thing about doomed timelines is that theyre meant to happen as much as theyre meant to be fixed. theyre how paradox space accounts for and incorporates time travel, and the existence of the doomed timeline is often NECESSARY for the alpha timeline to function. thats how you get davesprite, thats how the aradiabot that brought gamzee's honkHONK code back from his crazy murder timeline contributed to doc scratch's creation, thats why every dead dave helped the alpha timeline dave figure out what to do. if vriska was meant to have never died in the first place the timeline wouldve been doomed long before game over. the ring went to the wrong person, and thats the kind of simple fix sburb was expecting to solve with some time travel to get things back on track

the ring was supposed to go to someone else. probably vriska! from the alpha timelines perspective, it wasnt that long after her confrontation with john that she really changed and grew as a character. that she became someone who deserved a second chance. imagine: john uses his retcon as normal time travel, the way sburb comprehended it through the limitations of its code. he takes the ring before aranea can, goes to the dream bubbles, and has another conversation with vriska. maybe she doesnt even really want the ring anymore, and thats exactly the kind of thing that would convince john to give it to her. and she agrees, because he tells her terezi is waiting for her. they go back, they have the final fight, and people die. maybe they dont come back. but its the group of characters who earned the ending, who we watched grow up for three years

but thats not what happened, and it was never going to be what happened, because as narratively satisfying as it could have been? john and terezi wanted something different. john wanted everything to be OVER and terezi wanted the chance to make a different choice, even if it was wrong. theyre selfish; theyre kids. theyre tired of being characters in a story, of someone else pulling their strings. thats what typheus's choice was about, you know? and john made the wrong choice. some other version of john could have fixed things the "right" way, had our john decided to die instead. to accept the consequences of the doomed timeline and let pardox space fix it. hell, between roxys first instinct to just sit and let the void take her and terezis pointy horns offering a counterpoint we have some pretty blatant devil/angel on the shoulder imagery! and john making the same wrong choice he did when terezi first told him to fly to the seventh gate, except this time there was no davesprite on angel wings, no one left alive he cared about enough to listen to. because as much as john felt like he was SUPPOSED to fall for roxy, the girl version of his fathers lover, someone strongly associated with his half of karkat's shipping chart but without the complication of being a lesbian, someone HUMAN to repopulate the world with cut out of his apocalypse movie fantasies...... terezis way of thinking has always appealed to him more. because as much as he pretends its not true, john doesnt like to take things lying down, and he doesnt like when other people do either. he gets bored! hes attracted to the danger and morally grey self confidence terezi and vriska exude, so. he listened to terezi, and they brought vriska back.... without any of the character development she had gone through.

and its a bad ending, because of course it would be. and thats the point :) it was stupid to think two kids could meddle with the fate of the universe and it was stupid to think that these kids could have a happy ending so easily. but can you really blame them?

[ramp-it-up]

Cuddle Buddies

Pairing: Roommate! Rafael Casal x Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Minors DNI, RPF, angst, cursing, pining, jealousy, suggestive language, butt slapping, fluff! No smut!  All errors my own. I apologize if you like the smell of patchouli, lol.

A/N: This is an answer to the following ask from @teatro-dira :

Okay so I don't know if this is kinda weird but like an Rafael x reader were they are like really cuddly(like a lot of hugs, cuddling and stuff) friends and roommates and everyone teases them asking them if they're dating. Then Rafael gets a girlfriend which makes y/n lowkey feel betrayed and jealous, but he doesn't realize that. Y/n accidentally ruins their relationship(you chose how). They get into a fight, but it ends in fluff. Hope you understand what I mean:)

Here it goes! I hope you like it!

———-

A series of unfortunate events led you to this situation six months ago.

You were subletting Rafael’s apartment in Santa Monica when production wrapped a month early on his project in Vancouver. He had nowhere to go, and neither did you, so you agreed to share the space.

You vibed, almost as much as he and Daveed did. Folks began to call you the fourth Muskateer, for as much as you, Rafa, Daveed and his girl were always together. 

You all talked, smoked, and created together. You and Rafa especially were always all over each other, keeping each other warm under blankets on the couch, watching movies while you ran your fingers through his hair, in one or another’s bed watching videos, or writing in tandem. 

It was all good, cause Rafa was being a man-whore at the moment with several ladies, and you were just chilling. It was dope. 

Almost.

It would have been all the way dope, except...

Except for the fact that you were in love with Rafa.

You loved sharing the same space with him, because you could smell him when he just got out of the shower, play in his silky hair, and feel his strong arms around you. And when he wore grey sweats…. Damn.  You and your little bullet celebrated every time that happened.

Everyone could tell, except for Rafael.  People ragged on you two so hard, that you vehemently denied it every time, to the point of getting heated.

One night, you side eyed the teaser through a cloud of smoke after catching Rafa’s grimace when they said you two should get together.  Your mood sank at what you perceived was rejection.

“I would NEVER get with Rafa, that’s the homie.  He’s like a brother to me. Ugh. Getting with my brother? No way. We’re just Cuddle Buddies.”

Rafa blinked and then took a toke.

“Exactly, we the homies. Platonic Ride or Dies.  It’ll never happen.”  He passed what he was holding and then stood up. “Cuddle Buddies till the end.”  He sounded disgusted.

“I’m going to go get some food. I’m hungry. What does everyone want?”  After everyone yelled out their orders, you offered to come with.

“Nah, sis.  I’m good.  Gonna clear my head. I’ll be back soon.  Rafa peaced out and you sat back down with the crew.

-------

Ever since that night, Rafa seemed a little distant.  He was always busy, and never had time to sit and kick it with you the last couple of weeks.  You all never seemed to link.

One night, he was home when you came in with groceries.

“Oh shit, I didn’t know that you’d be here!” You put the groceries down on the counter while Rafa was at the stove, cooking up some pasta with marina.

“Mmmmmm. Smells good!” You went and stood very close to him, expecting him to give you a side hug, at least.

He just turned and glanced at you, a smirk lifting one side of his face.

“Will you never learn to keep an umbrella in the car? You always come in soaking wet from the rain.”

Here he was, shaking his head that you didn’t have enough sense to come in out of the rain.  How could this talented genius ever want to be with you?

You just played it off, as usual. “I’m starving. I didn’t think I would make it through cooking, but you’re always clutch, Rafa!” 

Rafa stood there and gaped at you.

“Uhhhhh… I thought you said you were driving down to the Vista to see your mom… I have someone coming over for dinner....”

“No.  She’s decided to go on a cruise to Cabo with her bestie… she just called and told me as she was boarding the ship this afternoon.  The hussy. Tryna be fast with her little friends.”  You laughed.

“So, who’s coming over?  UTK? Wayne? Jimmy?”

You jumped up on the counter and watched as Rafa put some french bread with butter and garlic in the oven.  Smelled like heaven.  Those guys would definitely invite you to stay.

Rafa wiped his hands on the towel that was hanging on the stove. And turned around to face you.

“Her name is Aurora.”

It was like he’d punched you in the gut. He’d NEVER brought one of his heauxes around. You fought the urge to double over, even though you felt nauseous.  When you looked at him, he looked concerned.

“Hey, you okay?”

You jumped down from the counter and quickly nodded your head, laughing weakly.  

“I...uh.. Yeah.  Like I said, I haven’t eaten since breakfast, expecting to be at dinner with my moms by now.”

You grabbed your groceries, putting them up quickly and grabbed an apple, taking it to your room.

“I’m going to get out of your way in a minute, I’ll go over to Carla’s and hang with her tonight. We’ll probably go out and do what we do, you know?”

Rafa still looked worried.

“Are you sure you’re ok? You need more than an apple. Look, stay…”

“NO!”  Your voice was raised and it startled you.  “I mean, I’m not one to be a cock blocker.  I’ll just get my stuff and get ready to go.”

Rafa just watched as you scurried into your room. Why did you feel like crying?  Why did you feel as if you would never breathe properly again?  You got out your phone and called Carla.

20 minutes later, you exited your room dressed for the club with your overnight bag.  There was a strange smell in the room, and it wasn’t pasta.  It was patchouli.  You HATED patchouli.

You didn’t realize you were giving the gas face until Rafa came out of the kitchen followed by a short, but cute woman, with a body like, whoa. 

Of course.

Rafa glared at you and you fixed your face.  That bestie telepathy was on point. Then he looked up and down, as if he were judging your freakum dress.  Well, fuck him.

“Oh, hey!  Y/N, this is Aurora.  Aurora, Y/N.”

Aurora ignored your outstretched hand and went in for a hug. 

“Y/N!  I’ve heard so much about you that I feel like I know you intimately, just like Rafael.”  

You tried to keep your face straight in reaction to her scent, then gave her a sideye. 

Was it the inept way she rolled the ‘R’ in Rafael, or the thinly veiled shot at your relationship? Either way, you felt like slapping the shit out of her. You looked at Rafa, but then just cleared your throat.

“And I’ve heard so much about you as well.  You’re all Rafa talks about.” He shook his head behind her.  “Nice to meet you, but I’m headed out for the night.”

It was then that Aurora saw your bag and brightened up.  

“Oh!  You do look nice. Are you leaving, you sure you don’t want to stay?”  

You could smell insincerity a mile away. Even patchouli couldn’t cover that up. You just smiled at her.  

“No ma’am.  I’ve got places to see and people to do.”  You winked at them as you walked out of the door, holding up your umbrella.  “Stay dry y’all.”

You made it out the door without crying of jack slapping that little bitch or Rafa.  You were winning.  

But why did it feel like you’d lost everything?

-----

You and Rafa successfully avoided one another for days.  He was either over Aurora’s or you were with Carla, your mom, or just stayed in your room.

One time you passed Rafa and Aurora on the couch watching a movie on your way to the kitchen to get something to eat.  Rafa’s head was in her lap.

You stopped dead in your tracks when you heard Rafa’s slightly raised voice say: “Don't’ mess with the swoop, Babe.”

‘Babe.’ He called her Babe. That’s it. It was time for you to go. 

You were cramping Rafa’s style.  You just tiptoed back in your room, making little to no noise so that they could watch the movie in peace. You didn’t see Rafa looking at your door after you went in.

----

A week later, you let Rafa know your move out date.

“Wait. What?”

Rafa’s mouth was open. You repeated yourself.

“Well, I’m going to move in with Carla. She’s going to let me ride her couch until this other place comes open in three weeks. It’s a sweet deal, near the studio….”

Rafa’s mind was racing, you could see the gears turning.

“Well… why don’t you just stay here until then, we got a good thing going.” He looked upset. What was up with him?

“Rafa… I’m just in the way.  You’ve got Aurora…”

“Hold up, wait.  We aren’t even that serious.  I mean, I just stopped seeing Bev and Chrissy. He looked at his watch. Last week.”

You laughed at Rafa’s fuckboi ways.  “Well, what about me? I might want to date someone and bring them over…”

Rafa’s face changed.

“Bring someone over here…”

But it didn’t sound like an invitation, it sounded like a threat.  

It was your turn to stare at Rafa.  “What the hell…?”

He straightened up.  “I mean, any of your guests are welcome here.”

You sighed and shook your head. 

“See what I mean? Things are getting tense, I want us to stay friends, not be tight with each other all the time.”

Rafa grinned.  “You said ‘tight.’”  He dodged a couch pillow thrown at his head.

“What are you, a 12 year old?”  You were rolling.  He really was one of your best friends.  But you needed space to get over yourself.  And him.

“Okay.  You grown.  But just know that you don’t have to go.  And know that I will miss the hell out of you.”  

Rafa came over to hug you, and he held you longer than normal, and then kissed the top of your head.  You looked up at him, still in his arms and it was like…

You cleared your throat.  “Well, I guess I better go start to pack.”

Rafa stepped back.  “Ok.”

Both of you hurried to your perspective rooms.

-----

One night, a couple of days later, Rafael came into your room without knocking.

“What did you say to Aurora?”

You were laying on your stomach on your phone, in just your t-shirt an panties.  You rolled over and looked at him. 

“What are you talking about?”

Rafa wasn’t yelling, but he was keyed up.

“What did you tell her the last time you talked?”

You put your head down to think, then brought it back up. 

“I just said that I was going to miss playing in your hair when we watched movies, that I knew it was your favorite thing.”

Rafa nodded, then shook his head.  

“Y/N, you’re the only one I let touch my hair.  Aurora has barely been allowed near it.”

“That’s…. New.”  You were perplexed.

“No it isn’t. Everyone knows I don’t like people messing with my hair.  Aurora accused me of having feelings for you.”

You were sitting up now, crossing your arms and standing before Rafa.

“That’s ridiculous.”

Rafa looked like he was about to explode. He threw his hands up in the air and walked out of your room.

“OF COURSE IT IS! RIDICULOUS!”  He was really agitated.

“Yeah, I know all too well that you think it's ridiculous for me to want to be with you.  I don’t know what makes you think I’m not good enough for you?”

“Good enough for ME?  You’re the one running around with all the model/actress types, you’re the one who thinks I’m beneath you.  You said so that one night when you said we were ‘Platonic Ride or Dies.’”

“Here we go! Total distortion! Did you hear what you said before I said that?  You said I was like your brother.  Your brother.  You think it’s that disgusting to be with me.”

“I just said that because you made a face when what’s her face said we should be together.”

“I made that face because I was imagining fucking your brains out.  It was probably my cum face.”

You stopped and stared at him, mouth hinged open.

“The fuck?”  You burst out laughing.  “You are mad outta pocket Rafa.” Rafa was rolling too.  “But you ain’t gotta lie.”

Rafa stopped laughing.  

“Why do you think I’m lying?”

He was moving closer to you. This felt… dangerous. He looked up and down your body, and it was the first time you felt uncomfortable being comfortable around Rafa.

“Because you told me that you wanted to just be Cuddle Buddies a month after you came back from Canada. You drew a line in the sand.”

Rafa shook his head at you and smiled, green-blue eyes twinkling. 

“I knew you were too zooted.  I shouldn’t have tried to shoot my shot.”

“Run that back for me?”  You couldn’t believe what he was saying right now.

“What I said was..I wanted to be Cuddie buddies. Cuddie is… you know…”  

He pointed to your crotch.

You looked down, and then up at him again. “I can’t with you Rafa….” 

Rafa tilted his head in that sexy way at you. 

“Can you really not?” 

You were stunned.  Rafa continued.

“But I’m serious. When you came back with ‘Cuddle Buddies,’ I thought you were blowing me off and just wanted to be friends. So, I just settled into the friend zone.”

“Do you mean you’re attracted to me? Rafa, that’s funny as hell. You want me for my body?”

Rafa raised his eyebrows at you. “Hell yeah. C’mon girl. You know you’re fine.” 

Your cheeks heated up. You stared at him for what must have been a solid minute.  The possibilities of this alternate reality where Rafa liked you like you liked him opened up.

“But, Rafa... I don’t wanna be just cuddie buddies.”

“Oh. Ok, Cool….” Rafa cleared his throat and looked everywhere but at you.

“I want your heart.” 

Rafa paused when he heard that and his face fell as he moved toward you.  He took your arms in his hands.

“Y/N I'm sorry, I can't give you my heart.”

It was your turn to pick up your face.

“’Cause you already have it.” 

His mischievous grin made your stomach flip.  But you were mad.

“Fuck you, Rafa.” You were laughing with happiness, despite him playing too much.

“Oh, you don’t have to tell me twice.” Rafa swooped down and threw you over his shoulder. “I’ve been waiting six months for that invitation.”  

You were trying to kick and scream. 

Raa swatted you on the ass, then smoothed his hand over the cheek that stung.

“The more you struggle, the more you’ll be begging me to stop in a few.”

You struggled some more, but he made it to your bedroom and deposited you on the bed.  He glared down at you, all sexy green-eyed god.

“Try me, Y/N.”

You reached for the drawstring on his sweats.

“If you insist, Rafael.”

-----

Taglist:

@braidedchallah @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @imatyoursurrvicesurr @riiyy @lonelydance @jbrizzywrites @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @anh1020 @sillyteecup @ohsoverykeri @theselilwonders @biafbunny @summerofsnowflakes @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @janthonybitch @curlyhairclub

[littlemessyjessi]

“Come Away With Me” : Regulus Black: Plus Size and Shortie : Chapter One “Prisoner”

Reggie deserved better and by Godric he’s gonna have it. 

---------

You keep makin' it harder to stay But I still can't run away I gotta know, why can't you Why can't you just let me go?

---------

“Prisoner” - Miley Cyrus ft. Dua Lipa

-----------

The turning point for Regulus Arcturus Black came the summer before his sixth year.

History was repeating itself.

Walburga Black stared down at her youngest son, seeing nothing more than Sirius in that moment.

She'd warned him about that girl.

Aurora Monroe, or Rory, had been Regulus' best friend since their first day.

It would seem that the Black brothers had a penchant for befriending half blood, half breed combinations.

But that wasn't why Walburga hated the girl.

She didn't even know Rory was a werewolf.

But she did know that she was a half blood and she knew that she was a Monroe.

And that was enough for her to hate her.

Two families who had been at each other's throats since what seemed like the beginning of time.

It all came down to money.

As most things did.

They were two of the wealthiest families in the wizarding communities of England.  

Thus it was a constant competition and rivalry set in a long time ago.

The Black had old money that came from a long line of aristocracy.

The Monroe's built their fortune and built it rather quickly and also managed to spite a Black ancestor in the process.

And thus began the fued.

Walburga had warned her son, over and over again about being around her but he didn't listen.

Regulus was far more mild mannered than Sirius but at his core...he was actually truly very stubborn.

And he refused to budge on that.

She'd threatened to blast him off the family tree just like she had Sirius.

A moment that was still burned into Regulus' memory.

But still he held steadfast.

But then she snapped the final chord.

Her and Orion had never joined Voldemort and his band of followers but she supported them.

And she had every intention of Regulus joining the ranks.

Even if meant she had to force him.

It wasn't even that she was willing to force him to do something.

He was used to that.

But he knew what that meant.

It meant a death sentence for Rory and Regulus would burn it all down before he let that happen.

He flew up the stairs and into his room rummaging around for the mirror he and Rory had gotten from Zonko's before the summer.

"Rory! Aurora!" he called into the mirror.

He could hear her fumbling for a second before her freckly scarred face appeared.

"Hey, Regs!" she broke into a grin but it quickly faded when she could see the distress on his face. "Regulus, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I gotta get out of here." he said, struggling to breathe. "Right now."

"Ok, ok. What happened? Are you ok?" she asked, amber eyes searching him through the mirror.

"I'm fine. But I gotta go.  I'll be ok. But I needed to tell you just in case you don't hear from me for a bit." he said holding the mirror with one hand and shoving things into his trunk with the other.

A loud banging at the door caused his head to snap the side and the unlocking charm could be heard as his mother opened the door.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" she screeched and Aurora gasped.

"Who is that?!" Walburga snapped and snatched the mirror out of Regulus' hand.

She seethed as she took in the sight of Aurora Monroe on the other side of it.

Regulus didn't even have time to prepare for impact when Walburga backhanded him and threw the mirror across the room.

Aurora's angry scream could be heard right before it shattered and Regulus looked at his mother in horror as she advanced.

"The only way you leave this house is over my dead body." she whispered and Regulus looked up at her in horror.

"That can be arranged."

The two of them turned to look at the tiny figure in the door who had clearly just apparated into mass chaos.

Amber eyes ablaze and white hair like a halo around her.

She was furious.

Aurora looked nothing short of an angel of death.

"You little bitch!" Walburga growled. "Stupid filthy mudblood! You'll be expelled for using magic outside of Hogwarts."

Aurora smirked, "I'm of age, you musky hussy."

Walburga drew her wand and Regulus panicked.

"No!" he said lunging at his mother but Aurora had already cast the spell to disarm her.

Walburga grabbed Regulus by the hair jerking his head back.

She narrowed her eyes at Aurora who absolutely refused to back down.

"You're not taking him." Walburga spat.

"You let him go or I snap this in half and turn it over to the ministry.  And I'm betting there's a fair share of unforgivable curses lingering in this wood." Rory said.

She and Walburga stared at each other for the longest time before Walburga's eye twitched.

She pulled her hand back and Regulus squeezed his eyes preparing for the blow when suddenly the pressure was released from hair and he stumbled to regain his balance.

Aurora had stunned Walburga and sent her flying back into the wall where she now lay unconscious.

She performed the body bind curse on her and turned to Regulus.

"Get what you need, Regs.  We gotta go.  Right now." she said  sternly but he was too shocked to move.

She sighed and reached out to touch his arm, "Reggie, we gotta go.  Right now.  Get the essentials."

He seemed to snap out of it and shoved a few things in his trunk before grabbing his broom out of his closet.

"Is there anyone else home, Regs?" she asked as she kept a watchful eye over Walburga's unconscious form and the door.

"No." Regulus shook his head. "Just Kreacher. Oh fuck."

It dawned him in that moment.

"Kreacher!" he called out.

A second later the house elf appeared with a pop and promptly began to freak out over Walburga.

"Mistress!" he wailed.

"Kreacher, please." Regulus said. "I know, I know.  But she was..."

"She was attacking Master Regulus again?" he asked and Regulus nodded.

"I have to go, Kreacher.  Come with us. I can give you clothes and free you.  I haven't been blasted off the tree yet." he pleaded with the elf who had become his friend over the years.

He knew better though.

"Kreacher must stay in the Noble House of Black." he said solemnly.

And suddenly Regulus understood how Sirius must have felt when he had to leave.

He didn't really have a choice but Regulus wouldn't go with him just like Kreacher wouldn't go now.

"Kreacher will keep the Mistress asleep." the elf said.

Aurora watched and Regulus knelt to hug the elf once more before grabbing his trunk and slinging his broom over his shoulder.

"Ok." he said, passing a hand over Kreacher's head once more.

Aurora stepped forward and Regulus wound his arm through hers before she turned and apparated away.

As they disappeared into thin air, Regulus' eyes watered.

Sadness, relief, fear.

It was all mixed into one but one thing was for sure.

Everything changed from that moment on.

------

Chapter Two Coming Soon

------

Keep Scrolling after author’s note for additional story pics!

--------

Hello, loves! I hope you enjoy this Regs story! It’s a tragedy what happened to Reggie and he was done really dirty both in his story and the lack of story we get for this multi dimensional selfless character! So he’s gonna have some good times in this story, dammit! 

Anyway, I love you all and I would love to hear from you!  Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, via reblog or just hit up the ask box! 

I love you all. 

Love, 

Kenny 

----

Also, feel free to imagine Regs anyway you like but I do like him as Timothee Chalamet... like a lot of people because Timmy is precious. Also, I feel this gif perfectly encompasses his time in that hell hole.  It’s ok, Reggie bebe.  Mama’s got you.  I’ll give you cocoa and noms and blankies.  It’ll be ok now. 

Some inspiration pics for Rory! 

These all played a part in the inspiration for Aurora’s hair.  Rory’s hair turned white with stress due to her condition much like how Remus’ hair started greying early.  

I particularly loved the color of the first and how floofy it was.  But I love the texture and also the poof of the second.  I also absolutely adored the second lady’s freckles which I picture Rory’s being absolutely littered with. 

Aurora has golden brown eyes. Warm like the sun.  Here are a few inspiration pics. 

I also used these and the picture from the freckled girl with the yellow top as inspiration for her skin tone as I see Aurora as very brown but dashed in freckles and heavily scarred just due to years of being afflicted with lycanthropy.   I also think it makes a striking contrast with her hair and such an juxtaposition against Regs’ fair features and dark hair.  

This was my main inspiration for Rory’s scars.  She has them all over her but perhaps the most noticeable is the one on her face and I feel this one encompasses it perfectly.   

As far as height went I couldn’t find many pics for inspiration so I begrudgingly used my own tiny form of 4′11″ as reference lol.  She is smol bean like me.  I did find some body inspos though! Rory is very fluffy! 

I don’t always show my inspo pics for characters but I felt like it was nice thing to start to do as it always helps me begin to form the layout of a character.  And I love you all so I figured it’d be a nice thing to share.  

————————-

@frankie2902

@pleasantdreamqueen   @becrazy–beyou

@littledeadrottinghood @blackirisposts

@therealmrshale @woodworthti666@thegreatirene@fanfictionandjunk

@angelus320

@alanlizzingtonshore@buriednurbckyrd@disneymarina@tubbypeachwriting

@sullybot @georgiagrl1990 @whenallsaidanddone

@mischiefnevermanaged94 @inumorph

@congurl

@centerhabit

@bubblymusiclover13

@qtmeryr

@thisismysecrethappyplace

@tnupsweetpie

@alisoncdariel

@hannahloveslife

@wormyboi

@blackirisposts

@maggyme13

@amethyst09

@ibenkastberg

@fanfics1717 @mrscasnovak

@thickemadame @babygirl-barnes

@theladyofmasks @aengsty

@kalliravenne

@witchygagirl

@gruffle1

@writtenbywolfie

@kribbydahhufflepuff

@leah-halliwell92

@thelastwildangel

@silent-browser

@simplymagical@simplymagicalwritings

@lilacflicker

@malulucifer

@minxyvixen

@moncheriemoony

@queenlexusloverofbts

@criminalyetminimal

@plus-size-reader

@owenniasstars  

@adventuresofnight

@tuutifruuti

@ tb-ctn

@halobaby

@tacobacoyeet

@thickemadame

@glassesandthunderthighs

@accioxtina

@sunnyoongles

@valiantobservationkitty

@poopypantsmc

@memissbee

@teenagesublimefan

@lyn-g

@milkshakelol

@rubyroscoe1

@abbyvonschweetz

@1975weasley

@lanoreeblake

@rosaline-black

@abbott27

@aldu-p

@sxturn-stars

@oliviashea05

@emilianamason

@reallykosborne​

@dracosbabymama​

@ main-feetoffthetable

floatyflowers

bumpinbillowinboobies

Btw, the only tags I do is for my permanent tag list but if you ever want to be added to that, all you have to do is just go to the ask box and ask to be added! I’d be happy to do so!

----------

Also, if you love the Marauders feel free to check out some of my recent Marauder works! 

Chasing Jess (Sirius Black and Jess Scamander) 

A Deal With Cupid (James Potter x Reader) 

All Fun and Games (Poly Marauders Fics) 

Talking to the Moon (Remus Lupin x Reader)

Torn (Remus Lupin x Rowan Black) 

And honestly so many more. 

I’m kind of a ho for Harry Potter and an outright slut for the Marauders.  Just being honest. 

[dahniwitchoflight]

fucking, god, he called his ship Theseus. Oh god im not ready to face this epilogue stuff in actual visual form oh jeesus

Dirk, Dirk pls. no one can take you seriously now that we can actually SEE your Villain-Sona. 

oh god, the second hand embarassment is real.

Alright so there seems to be like, a tinge of Rose existing as her own person, doing things that Dirk dislikes, but its in conversation only, so it seems facetious.

The other true thing though is the narrative is entirely Dirk’s perspective, and Dirk is exactly the kind of person who would absolutely love and believe he was capable of subsuming another person’s soul and idealogy entirely, but we went through this deceit in the epilogues with John and Roxy as well, with John’s unquetionaing hold on reality and what is canon also seeming to have an unconcious warping effect to whatever John thought was important, but Roxy gave a good point of how do you even know you did this and i didn’t choose it or wouldnt have chose it? you dont

So we could see that being repeated here, either as a parallel of that or a subversion, remains to be seen

“ Speaking of which, I think it's time I started undoing some of the more egregious mistakes this story has been subjected to over the years. Yes, I'm talking about that guy. The other orange one. Remember him? Vriska got stalked by him a bit and it was uncomfortable for everyone concerned. Anyway, the point is that he fucked up big time, and I'm here to clean up the horseshit. It's time to get this story back on the rails, back to what it was always supposed to be. I know it, and you've somehow always known it too. There was something else, some other route that Homestuck was meant to take but then didn't, a way that wouldn't've spent so much time dicking around with stuff nobody cares about. Like seriously, why did we all have to sit through talking about everyone's most intimate and private feelings for two hundred thousand fucking words. That would never have happened in Act 1. Where did it all go wrong? “

lol the andrew hussie is peeking through a bit here, so Homestuck2 is gonna be the exact thing I figured a sequel would be, its going to be a sort of retelling of the story, but its gonna flip the importance for certain things in the opposite directions, so right here its saying Homestuck is a story with a layer of importance on the characters themselves and their mindsets and how they lived in the environment they found themselves in, with the lore and the conceit of the story being a huge creation story more of a backdrop than the focus

so Homestuck2 is going to be a more "creation story” focused more on the sburb lore, buts its going to have less of a focus on the characters (perhaps even to the detrimnet? maybe characters will seem strange and out of character? but he kinda already made that feeling i the audience with the epilogues, thats what that intended effect was)

and neither one i think will turn out to better or worse than the others, theres definitely going to be benefit and downsides for both, but its not hard to see that Homestuck1 is the story that Hussie wanted to Tell, and Homestuck2 is how he’s changing it and telling a different story than he originally would have in the first place

not that hes changing Homestucks orignal story at all, but now hes telling a decidedly different one

Thus far, even though I understand Dirk’s basic mindset being “Hussie’s story sucks im gonna tell a BETTER one” and deciding that he alones gets to decide others will is unquestionably villainous train of thought, like why cant we let the characters just decide for themselves what kind of story they wanted to have and be genuine..

I AM dying of curiosity to see what sort of lore and information were going to get out of this, especially with the twist of that sort of focus being brought more into view, it’s a tantalizing glimpse of something very sexy that im into...

WORLDBUILDING :p

The World of Homestuck to me, HAS always been more infinitely exciting and interesting to me than the characters themselves, even though i liked them fine, they werent the reason why i kept reading the story for sure

Anything little thing we get about sburb or the world system out of this im happy with, regardless of what happens to the characters

(Would that be considered a villainous mindset if I was in canon? maybe ^^; good thing im not lol it does give off very “evil mad scientist morally corrupt experiments” kind of vibe lolol)

“ Look, I know what you're all really craving. I've been studying canon—or rather, what's left of it—and I think I've found it. The critical moment, in the wake of which everything started to take a nosedive into the protracted, endless slog of sheer insufferability we got saddled with near the end. This was the single most crucial error in the process that led to the present situation. The day when the story was wrested screaming from the arms of its readers like a bawling infant and carried helplessly away, from then on to be raised according to the whims of a masochistic menace with no thought for you, the common fan. “

I do have to laugh at this though, because your not wrong??? but also, it was inevitable that a story that started out like homestuck and was written like homestuck and ended like homestuck would inevitably turn out the way it did

it was a communal product of the screaming masses that turned into a singular mans story, it was unfortunately going to lose something to everyone, because everyones ideas couldnt all coexist in one canon at the same time (thats what outside of canon is for)

and then Dirk does something I DIDNT expect him to do

“Channelling my full potential as an ascended player of Heart, I expand my consciousness to commune with the boundless force of collective willpower that is the internet. My mind floods with its divine potency, a million formless cries coalescing into a sequence of discrete, formal instructions. It is a maelstrom as chaotic as it is deafening. And yet from this formless, uninterrupted spate of hard, unembellished data, a single suggestion takes form, as if bubbling up from a vast, infinite ocean of possibility. It is a whispered prayer to a compassionate god whose ear attends faithfully the will of his believers.Ok, let's see what you chucklefucks came up with.“

instead of entirely subsuming other’s will like a villain would, he has instead opened up his heart and conciousness to absorb the ideas, suggestions and wills of the masses, he is literally trying to bring back the act1 flavor of homestuck by taking suggestions, be he is ironically doing something no different than hussie did by curating and choosing which one to respond to

hah! he really does think he is the hero of this universe with Hussie as some sort of villain. 

So Hussie has probably intentionally curated this idea of himself as “Author Villain” who drives the story seemingly into mud by seeming to reject and upend the audiences expectation rather than curate them and bringing forth the best out, 

this happens with the epilogues undoubtedly, 

and this environment has gown a character from inside the story to step out and try to “oust” him from this position and instead tell a “good” story one that “everyone” wants, but is in fact detrimental to the story and world that the characters inside it themselves wants, which is was Hussie curated the whims to in the epilogues instead of the audience

So maybe this will be a “good” story, and hit all the marks for what the audience wanted originally, but there is no benevolent force to make sure a happy ending exists for any of the characters inside of it, because what the characters want doesnt matter anymore, only the lore does

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

BTS Reaction: Their normally bubbly, kind s.o roasts someone who is badmouthing them

This is literally me lol. I actually had a lot of fun writing this one!

Namjoon

You and Namjoon were walking hand in hand down the street on the way back to your apartment. You were coming back from your date and yes, you looked damn good if you say so yourself. You were wearing a low cut shirt and tight jeans that hugged you in all the right places. You walked past a group of guys when one of them decided to make an offhand comment towards you. You almost barely heard him but sure enough, your ears heard the word “Slut” come out of his mouth. You felt Namjoon immediately tense up next to you and he was more than ready to defend you, however when he turned around he saw you grabbing the man by the collar and already defending yourself. “Excuse me? What the fuck did you just say to me asshole?” Namjoon couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of your mouth but if he was completely honest it just made him even more attracted to you. “What I wear is of no concern to you. I dressed up nice for my boyfriend not for you. So next time you want to say something to me I’d think twice and keep that ugly mouth of yours shut unless you want me to stick my foot in your mouth and shut it for you.” You released the man and walked back to Namjoon, your bubbly smile back on your face as he just stood there and stared at you in complete shock.

Jin

Jin had warned you more than once not to read comments from the fans online but you were bored and couldn’t help yourself. Majority of the comments were nice and supported your relationship. However you did find some not so nice ones and after the 5th one you read you snapped. I just don’t understand why Jin is with someone like them. He’s world wide handsome. Y/n is not good enough for him and never will be. You let out a scoff and immediately started smashing your fingers against the keyboard. Jin could tell something had upset you so he came over to see what you were doing. “Jagi! I told you not to read those what are you doing?” “Listen Jin my parents didn’t raise no bitch I am not going to sit here and let this little hussy talk shit about me over the internet.” “Y/n. You can’t engage with people like this it is just going to add fuel to the fire.” “Jin, I love you. But let me handle this okay?” He let out a huff as he sat back and watched you typing back to this random person, not fully understanding why this bothered you so much. Listen here. You might think you are big and bad because you type this shit on the internet but I would bet my house that you wouldn’t dare say this to my face. Actually you know what? If writing hates comments makes you feel better about yourself go right ahead because guess what? At the end of the day it’s me he’s coming home to. It’s me that he is kissing passionately before we go to sleep at night. So if being mean to me makes you feel better about that fact that you will never have him go right ahead. Jin began laughing hysterically. “Damn I had no idea my sweet bubbly y/n was such a badass. I better be careful from now on behind that sweet exterior is a demon that shouldn’t be messed with.”

Yoongi

Today was one of the rare days you actually were able to convince Yoongi to go out with you and you wanted to look extra nice for him. You put on your best pair of ripped shorts, and a crop top. Yoongi’s jaw almost dropped to the floor when he saw you, he thought you looked absolutely gorgeous. As you were walking with him you noticed some guy up ahead staring at the both of you. You gripped his hand tighter feeling uncomfortable with the way he was looking at you. When you walked past him he gripped your other arm and pulled you back from him. “What’s a sexy thing like you doing with a tiny guy like that? Don’t want you want to be with a real man?” Insulting you was one thing, insulting your boyfriend was a completely different story. “Are you serious right now? Get your fucking hand off me before I cut it off you son of a bitch.” He actually let go which boosted your confidence even more. You started stalking towards him, shoving him against the wall with your hand gripping his collar. “You insult my boyfriend one more time I’m taking you into that diner over there and sticking your dick in the blender is that clear? Yoongi is more of a man than you could ever dream to be. Now fuck off.” At that Yoongi came up behind you, his hand tightly gripping your waist. “You heard them. I suggest you leave.” “You’re both crazy.” The guy said as he walked away from the both of you. Yoongi then had you pinned against the wall, his hands on either side of your head caging you in. “I had no idea my sweet little prince/ss had such a mouth on them. What else have you been hiding from me? Shall we go back home and find out?”

Hoseok

You were out with Hoseok shopping at the mall. He suddenly could feel you tense up next to him as you began approaching a group of girls that were inside the store you were planning on going in to. “Um. Actually Hobi can we go somewhere else?” “What? Why? This is your favorite store.” “Those girls used to bully me in high school. Think Mean Girls but 10x worse and 10x more petty.” “Honey you can’t be afraid of them forever. If they say something to you stand up for yourself!” You walked into the store and sure enough one of them came up to you and tried messing with you. “Oh! Y/n! I haven’t seen you in forever!” You tried to ignore her but she wouldn’t let up. “Still the same weak and timid person you’ve always been I see. Gosh you make it so easy.” You couldn’t take it anymore and you finally boiled over. “Alright I was trying to be nice and ignore you but since you still seem to be as stupid as you were in high school and can’t take a hint let me spell this out for you as simply as I can so even you can understand. Go.Away. I hated you in high school and I still hate you now. Only difference is I am not the same weak girl you new back then and I won’t hesitate to put a bitch in her place. So I suggest you take your merry band of idiots and fuck off somewhere else.” Hoseok couldn’t help himself as he started cheering for you. “YEAH! GO BABY DRAG THAT BITCH!” You grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the store. “Did I do okay Hobi?” “Good? Baby you were amazing! Who knew my sweet little angel was capable of all that! I’m so proud of you!”  

Jimin

When you and Jimin were enjoying your night out at the movies together the last thing you expected was to run into your ex. Knowing your ex you knew they were going to say something snarky to Jimin and with his short temper you knew this situation was going to be bad. As you were walking into the theater you could hear footsteps fast approaching the two of you. “So this is the guy you’re with now?” “Don’t say anything Jimin just keep walking he’s not worth our time.” “Tch. I was more than worth your time when we were together. Couldn’t keep you off of me in fact. Why don’t you quit playing games with this boy and come home with me?” At that Jimin immediately whipped around to confront him but you stopped him. You kissed him firmly on the lips. “It’s okay babe. I’ll handle my ex don’t worry.” You turned around and immediately dug you finger into his chest and were jabbing it into him as you yelled. “Okay. Let me make one thing clear. We broke up for a reason. You were an asshole, who has no idea how to treat or please another person the only thing you cared about was yourself. Couldn’t keep me off of you? Give me a break. You want to know what a real man looks like? He’s standing right here and his name is Park Jimin. Don’t forget his name. With how loud he has me screaming it I’m sure you’ll be able to hear it later.” With one final jab of your finger you sauntered off to where Jimin was and planted another kiss to his lips. “Let’s go babe.” “I don’t even want to watch the movie anymore. Why don’t we go home instead and make good on your word? I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the movie anyway. The only thing I’m going to be thinking about is what other things you’re capable of. Such dirty things coming out of such sweet lips.”

Taehyung

You were at home with Taehyung when you started getting text messages from an unknown number calling you horrible names. You couldn’t help but frown down at your phone as you texted a response. Who the fuck is this? Unless you want these texts to continue I suggest you break up with Taehyung. I know where your apartment is and I don’t think you want me to show up there. At that you couldn’t help but laugh. “Great. Now I have some crazy sasaeng texting my number threatening me. Honestly I am not even surprised I was waiting for this day to come actually.” Taehyung would immediately come and sit next to you, concern evident on his face. “Baby? What do you mean? Is someone harassing you? I can call the company right away and they can do something about this.” You reached out your hand and ruffled his hair. “It’s okay Tae. I got this. Come closer for a second.” He moved closer to you and you pressed his lips to yours and took a photo. “Y/n what are you doing?” “Putting this crazy hoe in their place.” “Jagi! I’ve never heard you talk like that before where did my sweet little angel go?” Taehyung was fake crying into your shirt as you laughed and immediately started typing your response. You sent a message along with the photo. Nah we’re good. Thanks though! Feel free to stop by I am sure Tae would love to have a word with you. I’m sure the police would to. You do realize their company has ways of tracking your phone? They will find whoever you are and I don’t think you really want the police at your door do you? So kindly, go fuck off and bother someone else. I’m tired of crazy fans trying to interfere with our relationship and If you so much as show your face within a block of my apartment I won’t hesitate bitch. As you hit send Taehyung would pull you into his arms and chuckled softly. “Remind me to never get on your badside. You are scary when you’re mad. That babyface of yours is a lie”.

Jungkook

You went out dancing with Jungkook. It took a lot of convincing on your part but he finally gave in and agreed to go with you. He left you for not even 5 minutes to go to the bathroom and during that time everything went to shit. This random girl that you had no idea who she was just decided she was going to start shit with you. She insulted your clothes, your makeup, everything. The girl was drunk as hell and most likely had you confused with someone she knew but that didn’t stop you from roasting her ass anyway. “Listen you stupid woman. I don’t have any idea who you are or why you are starting shit with me but you need to get the fuck away from me. I don’t care if you’re drunk and sloppy as all hell you lay one hand on me or say one more word to me and I will knock you on your ass you hear me?” Jungkook had finally come up behind you and grabbed your hand to lead you out of the club pinching the bridge of his nose. “This is exactly why I hate coming to places like this. There’s always drunk and stupid people trying to start shit. You’re lucky that was a girl messing with you because if I came back to a guy harassing you I would have had a lot of explaining to do to the company.” “I’m sorry Kookie.” “It’s okay. I never would have expected you to say things like that! My innocent little y/n has turned into quite the little demon.” You playfully smacked his arm and continued to talk and laugh with him as you headed home.

[homespork-review]

Homespork Act 2: The Racism of the Conductor’s Baton (Part 3)

BRIGHT: Also, the prompts in John’s head are back and are making increasingly strident demands. Namely, they want John to follow Nannasprite to the cookies. John isn’t too keen on this idea. He’s so not-keen on it that he fails to notice Rose whacking him in the head with a box. Frustrated by his lack of compliance, the voice devolves into insults. I’m not sure why the Wayward Vagabond is so insistent on this? It’s not like he can eat the cookies.

On the whole this is a really good sequence, I think. It lays out some basic background information for the reader and John, and it’s paced pretty well.

Back in the future, an agitated slip of the finger causes a cupboard door to open in the Wayward Vagabond’s hideout. Out fall a few tins of food and a heavy tome of HUMAN ETIQUETTE.

Rose has updated her GameFAQs walkthrough with the new information from Nannasprite. We’re getting something of a motif here: Cut-aways to the Wayward Vagabond are followed by a walkthrough update. It’s a nice little pattern.

Rose also speculates on the prototyping process and on why the prototypings of other players worldwide have not affected John’s foes, and comes to the conclusion that each client/server pair -- or daisy chain -- spawns its own copy of the Incipisphere, or ‘session’. She’s also caught up in rewriting her work. Couldn’t the reader go somewhere else? Or somewhen else?

Why yes, the reader can. Namely the reader can jump back to Rose’s birthday, where she’s having a conversation with GG.

This conversation reinforces that there’s something funny about GG. She asks about John’s present the moment Rose opens it, and Rose isn’t surprised by this. GG also knows without being told that Rose’s dead pet is a male cat, and she’s been working on her birthday present for John for years.

Finally, she asks what Rose would say if GG told her she knew a game that could bring said cat back to life.

TT: If someone told me that, I would regard the remark with a great deal of skepticism. TT: If that someone was you, on the other hand, then I would have to ask preemptively: TT: Is that someone you? GG: yes that someone is me!!!!!!!! GG: i just thought you might find it interesting TT: So what is this game?

Whatever strange abilities GG has, Rose is familiar with her knowing things she shouldn’t, and trusts her even when she makes claims that sound impossible.

CHEL: Note, also, that here GG is the one who brings up the game, while in an early convo with John set chronologically after this one she asked “lol! whats sburb?” This is not an inconsistency. Again, it comes up later. We end up saying that a lot. Sorry.

BRIGHT: Also: Rose knows John well enough to guess that he was wearing a disguise when he talked to her earlier -- but still interprets his gift of knitting needles and yarn as a subtle jab at her habit of making analytical comments, much as her mother. GG points out that he probably didn’t mean it that way. Later, Rose says she’ll make him a gift with strong sentimental value as a dig at him, but admits she doesn’t really mean it that way when GG points it out. Then again, this takes place some months before the comic starts, and may show how Rose and John’s relationship has evolved.

Back in Dave’s home, the sun is beating down. Meteors pepper the city, and smoke is rising. Dave captchalogues his katana, and sets out in search of his brother’s copy of the game.

Dave elaborates a little on the concept of irony that he and his brother live by. His brother is awesome, apparently. Dave can only hope to one day reach those heights of irony.

The puppet theme from earlier continues, with puppets strewn around the living room where Bro lives and sleeps. Among them are a Mr. T puppet, which is wearing a leather thong and handcuffed to a pantsless Chuck Norris puppet. What makes it a little disturbing is that this is just lying out in the living room, which Dave presumably goes into all the time. Dave’s narration here sounds a lot like he’s trying to convince himself that these things are totally cool, no, really. He can’t see Lil Cal anywhere, though...

CHEL: Other puppets are the iconic Smuppets, possibly a portmanteau of “smutty puppets”, vaguely humanoid nude puppets with enormous behinds and phallic noses. There are implications that they are intended for non-PG purposes. Further implications are that the leaving of obscene material around the home has been going on for all of Dave’s life. For the record, intentionally showing pornography or sexual aids to children is classed as a form of sexual abuse. Casually leaving them lying around the house in front of kids long-term, well, the motive may not be malicious but I doubt a jury would care. It certainly counts as neglect. The popular fanfic Brainbent explored the damage this kind of thing could inflict on a kid in a realistic setting.

Also note, there is no hint of Dave having or ever having had parents, not even a photo in the background or something. The immediate assumption would most likely be that they’re dead, but Bro’s strangeness might also suggest estrangement - behaviour like that would probably result in one’s parents not talking to one anymore, though they most likely wouldn’t leave a child in a place like that if they were around. We find out the truth later, and it’s even weirder.

BRIGHT: Between one panel and the next, Lil Cal appears atop a speaker box. Dave is fine with this. Totally fine.

CHEL: For the record, this is Lil Cal:

Not something one would be very happy about finding behind one, is he?

BRIGHT: He plays a bit on the Xbox, gives Cal a fistbump, and then checks out his brother’s computer. It’s password-protected, but Dave knows the password, and Bro knows he knows it, and Dave knows this, and it’s all totally cool.

One of Bro’s websites is a puppet pornography website. Apparently this is popular enough to bring in thousands of dollars a month, and Smuppets are a multi-billion-dollar-per-year enterprise. Time for our next point:

Magic-onomics - wherein characters’ funds issue from nowhere Half-baked attempts to justify a protagonist’s mystery money can also backfire. Explanations should amount to more than “Somehow Rain had lots of money.” Giving Rain an inheritance, or explaining that she recently gave up her job at a top law firm to pursue her art, will work only where these things feel like part of the world of the novel.

Bro and Dave live in a crappy apartment in which Bro doesn’t even have his own bedroom, instead sleeping on the futon in the living room where he works. Yet they have the funds to spend on swords (not cheap) and expensive turntables. The Con Air bunny prop Dave bought for John sold in real life for almost $1,300.

And how the heck do smuppets bring in multiple billions of dollars a year? That’s a niche market, even if Bro is the only supplier. (Which he wouldn’t be — if it’s worth that much, someone else would want in on the market.)

CHEL: Even if said market is fairly disturbing. If there’s enough people who like it enough to buy it, there’ll be people comfortable with supplying it.

BRIGHT: Their income shouldn’t be anywhere near that high, even with puppet pornography adding to the revenue stream. If we grant that in this universe it is that high, then they should be living somewhere more comfortable.

HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 13

CHEL: In order for this to actually work as stated, not only would the puppets have to appeal to everyone on the planet, but there would probably have to be a lot more people on the planet than there actually are. I’m pretty sure it’s an exaggeration for humour, but considering the inconsistencies with their income status as presented, it’s still a bit shaky.

It’s also worth another count, because this is basically a handwave to mean the characters presented aesthetically as poor are still as financially secure as is necessary for writing the scenes Hussie wants to:

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 6

If the comic was presented as a non-serious cartoon for the whole story, this would pass without comment, but when one’s trying to be dramatic and include real stakes, I think one needs to apply real stakes to everyday things too.

BRIGHT: Then again, it’s possible that their financial status is higher than the apartment would suggest, and Bro just chooses to spend his money on katanas and expensive equipment rather than upgrading. (And/or is lying to Dave about their income.) That might not be out of character given what we see of him later. But overall, this is a mess.

FAILURE ARTIST: Maybe the Smuppets is a money laundering business.

CHEL: A lot of people would read that fanfic.

The theory that the guardians knew the game was coming might explain why he chose to spend so much on swords, at least. He’d know Dave would need them. Not so much of an explanation for everything else though. Considering the weirdness that’s going on, I could imagine Bro not wanting attention drawn to it, but wouldn’t hiding weirdness be much harder in a flat than in a house set off some distance from neighbours?

For that matter, where’s John getting the money for movie memorabilia? Later reveals show the Egbert family originally came from money but they don’t seem to have that much to throw around now.

BRIGHT: Remember how Rose said earlier that she quite enjoyed Bro’s websites? I think that counts as a point for CALL CPA PLEASE…

FAILURE ARTIST: I question how pornographic the site really is. It might just literally be puppets being mashed together with no human body parts. A thirteen year old can surely see that.

BRIGHT: Fair point -- the page we see is teen-safe, at any rate.

CHEL: If it isn’t actually sexual, that possibly makes the supposed popularity level even sillier. Fetishists need constant fresh material and there are probably people who don’t have a specific puppet fetish who would ignore the puppets to look at the guy, but to keep up that level of popularity the viewers who don’t have a puppet fetish would have to keep finding it funny long after most people would think the joke had worn off. Both options say disturbing things about the world this comic is set in and their tastes in either pornography or humour. At least Veronica Chaos appears onscreen with her puppet… (Link contains no porn but you probably don’t want it on a work computer.)

For the record, I think Smuppets would actually make pretty bad sex toys. Plush is a porous material, so it would be hard to clean sticky substances out of it properly, and the phallic noses seem to be too floppy to use for penetration of a human orifice. Maybe that first point is why he brings in so much cash - the smuppets are single-use? People do use plush toys for masturbatory purposes, but usually when they can’t find anything else to use, specific fetishes for them being rare, and generally don’t use the soft parts as penetration toys.

Personally, I quite like the theory the kinkmeme brought up years ago; PlushRumps is actually an elaborate multimedia webcomic a la Homestuck itself. Now that I can see bringing in that much cash. Or possibly it just looks like this, which was made by the guy who wrote Thirty Hs (warning for eye injury and surreality): "Jumping!" (Watch on YouTube)

I could see Bro being that dude.

BRIGHT: And Dave admits, again, that he finds the puppet thing unsettling.

This is a pretty good depiction of someone trying to convince himself to be okay with something that freaks him out. He pesters John to distract himself from the puppets everywhere, and when he doesn’t get a response, he pesters Rose. And Hussie once again repeats the entire blinking pesterlog we read fifty pages ago instead of just linking back to it.

GET ON WITH IT!: 6

CHEL: Just occurred to me; why is Dave so bothered by the puppets? I can’t imagine that Bro suddenly started leaving them around when he hadn’t before - in fact, I believe a later flashback shows infant Dave using a Smuppet’s nose as a pacifier (eww, god I hope it was a freshly-made unused one). Dave really ought to be used to the things by now. Then again, now he’s reaching his teens, he’s probably old enough to start realising this is weird and creepy on a deeper level. But then that brings up the same problem we had with John; doesn’t he have any local friends he could have learned this from sooner? Though I could picture Bro not bothering to send him to school, and we do later learn there is quite possibly magic afoot in hiding the oddness of the Strider household. That’s a complicated theory and requires much more setup than we have here, though, so pin in that for later.

Also, the puppets thing counts for a point of ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?, and Dave is in fact the reason we created that count. A kid in Dave’s situation in real life would be messed up, but so would a kid in the situations of the others (or at least the girls), and Dave’s situation seems to be taken more seriously than theirs, at least later on.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 5

BRIGHT: Back to Rose, who’s beating John over the head with a box in a futile effort to get his attention. She eventually gives up and deploys another piece of equipment called a Punch Designix, using the Shale John collected. Since she doesn’t know what it does, she pesters John and asks him to experiment.

Unfortunately John has bigger problems to deal with: His garden is by this point overrun with imps, who are climbing on his tire swing and wearing his disguises. This is enough to snap him out of his Wayward Vagabond-induced state and get him to respond to Rose. They need to get those monsters off his pogo ride!

Fortunately, Rose is able to help by picking up the piano and dropping it on the imp. Less fortunately, the piano does not survive the experience. Neither does the imp.

The pogo ride seems fine, though.

John is reluctant to risk Nanna’s ghost cookies to go retrieve the grist, so Rose uses the pogo ride to transport it up to his room. Then she tells him to go find out what the Punch Designix does, while she works on building the house up to the gate. Apparently stairs cost a lot of grist to build. John makes a SBaHJ reference while Rose recoups the grist she used to build the catwalk earlier, sending an imp tumbling into the depths.

In the kitchen, Nannasprite has produced a lot of cookies. An imp tries to sneak one, and is blasted into grist by Nanna as a result.

John sets out on a hunt for imps and useful items, grabbing some shaving cream and his pogo ride, and launching his telescope out of the window. Amazingly, this proves relevant only a few pages later.

CHEL: Dad apparently keeps an entire cabinet filled with nothing but shaving cream. Rule of Funny, I know, but how fast does this guy’s beard grow?

BRIGHT: His living room is full of imps, who have taken a shine to the Cruxtruder and left cruxite dowels lying everywhere. Armed with hammer and shaving cream, John mounts his trusty steed and pogos his way to victory, which works amazingly well (read: works at all), until he slips on a cruxite dowel and lands flat on his back.

This is incredibly dangerous!

Acting on a polite prompt, John absconds into his Dad’s study, and Rose covers his retreat with the refrigerator, which levels up to FIVESTAR GENERAL ELECTRIC and earns 285 Boondollars.

Further extremely polite prompts ask John for a can opener. Despite the presence of two imps in the study with him, John stops to consider where to find one, while Rose takes out the imps with Dad’s safe. I don’t think that counts as HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING, though, since it’s clearly supposed to be the joke.

Back in the future, the Wayward Vagabond munches on a few pages from the etiquette book. Rose updates her GameFAQs walkthrough with a series of images of John’s house in the Medium. She does refer to Colonel Sassacre’s as racist in one of these, but it’s not really much of a rebuttal.

CHEL: She experiments with building a bit more on John’s house; ladders prove cheaper to build than stairs, albeit harder to use safely. John eventually stops contemplating can openers to examine the Punch Designix, while Rose answers Dave’s angry rant about being buried in Smuppets. I think this may be another point for ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY, because in the context of a kid ranting about his brother’s annoying hobby and his friend snarking back it’s hilarious, and it seems at this point to be presented as funny, but as discussed above the nature of Smuppets makes this rather creepy.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 6 TG: i am enrobed in chafing, wriggling god fucking damned puppet pelvis TG: an obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face TT: Let's put this into perspective. You put up with the puppet prostate because you love it.

Okay, this I think could be a point for CALL CPA PLEASE. A child probably would make fun of another child’s discomfort with non-consensually being surrounded by sex toys on the grounds of not knowing better, but it’s unsettling to read.

CALL CPA PLEASE: 2

John discovers there are codes on the backs of his captchalogue cards, which can be entered into the Punch Designix to make punch cards. Punching the captchalogue card itself renders the item irremovable from it, but the punch card can, he guesses, be used to recreate the item via the Totem Lathe and Alchemiter. Before he can test this, Rose hurls a bathtub through the wall to kill some nearby imps; to be fair, when he checks his PDA, he sees he missed a message from her warning him about it. He messages her back and she says the precarious staircase up to the gate is ready. John is nervous and asks why she didn’t build straight up through the hole in his dad’s bedroom ceiling.

EB: oh come on. what's the big deal, i'll just climb up and go right through! TT: Will you? EB: yeah, why not? TT: Are you saying you've never wondered what's in there? Or why it's been kept a secret from you? EB: well, i mean yeah... TT: Then trust me. You won't be going "right on through." EB: wait, are you saying there's something, like... EB: troubling in there? TT: I don't know. EB: what do you mean? what do you see in there? TT: I can't see in there. EB: oh. TT: But I don't have a very good feeling about it. EB: pfff... EB: whatever! EB: i think i can handle a few more stupid clown paintings.

Well, that’s ominous.

Examining the destroyed safe, John finds a book about shaving, several old newspaper clippings about meteor strikes, and a much older copy of Colonel Sassacre’s book, possibly the one involved in the mysterious accident which caused Nanna’s death. Behind where the safe was, he finds an empty captchalogue card and a proud fatherly note from Dad, praising him for now being strong enough to lift the safe; presumably intended for several years in the future at least, since the safe is big enough to fit John inside it. The note further explains that John is now entitled to the contents of the safe, and provides the now-useless combination for the lock. Further sylladex shenanigans launch Sassacre’s book, killing an imp, and John heads up the stairs, but slips. As he precariously clings on, the hands and jester’s motley of something much, much bigger than the imps start to emerge from the chasm...

Cut back to Dave, still searching for the beta and/or his brother, finding only that one of Bro’s swords is missing. A brief shadowy flash takes the second sword from the wall too.

You know this drill all too well. Trouble's a brewin'.

Dave heads for the door, finding one of Bro’s “ironic” comics pinned to it. The comic in question:

Erm.

TIER: Now that is, as the folks would say, unsettling.

FAILURE ARTIST: This is another work that Hussie created pre-Homestuck and decided to add. It was part of this drawing battle on a forum.

CHEL: It took me an embarrassingly long time to realise that was supposed to be Kermit. I was seeing it as a teddy bear, with the spiral cheeks as eyes and the eyes as ears.

TIER: . . . I was “literally just now” years old when I realized that was supposed to be Kermit.

BRIGHT: Ditto!

CHEL: Me too, actually, it was after I saw it while posting it here. Before I thought it was Fozzie, drawn even worse than the rest of the comic.

Dave is fairly mellow about the comic as compared to his reaction to the puppets, but thinks that he “[doesn’t] need to see this shit right now”. It looks like something a kid his age would either draw themselves or like (I know I would have loved it), but having things like this pasted randomly about your house would definitely be unsettling even so. He understands it as further irony, and thinks Bro is trying to annoy him with it as “some weird gauntlet he's throwing down to see if you will "GET IT"”.

Worse than the comics, however, is what’s in the kitchen. Weapons are piled up on every counter and the sink is full of fireworks. Dave considers this “awesome”, the implication again being that this has been normal for his whole life. He’s really lucky he’s a cartoon character, there’s no way a real kid would still be alive here. When he turns on the blender, a green puppet in it is shredded to pieces, releasing fake blood; inside the eye socket of a Jigsaw puppet on top of the microwave is a webcam, broadcasting the incident. Okay, again, we need to consider how “pornographic” PlushRumps actually is to determine whether this is a problem. Videos of a kid shredding a puppet are harmless in and of themselves. If it’s actually being marketed as fetish material… ew. Dave appears just as unsettled by this as I am, enough so to behead the cam-puppet, so the implications aren’t good.

More Smuppets spill out of the microwave, and then we go back into fucking sylladex shenanigans as Dave tries to collect every dangerous object in the room

GET ON WITH IT!: 7

Distracted by same, Dave fails to notice a silhouetted figure which is presumably his brother appearing briefly behind him, dropping Cal on the stovetop, and disappearing. Dave’s expression doesn’t change on seeing it but he literally leaps a foot in the air. Poor kid, that is freaky. We also discover why Dave had juice in his closet way back; Bro uses the fridge as storage space for swords instead of comestibles, and cherry bombs in the icemaker.

… Okay, where does Bro keep his own food? Both humorously and actually abusive/neglectful guardians still require energy intake, you know. There are later hints that Bro himself is someone’s puppet, but only in the figurative sense.

TIER: Dude probably has spots around the apartment to stash stuff, like how Dave has apple juice hidden away in his closet.

Figuring out how seriously we're supposed to be taking things can get tricky, especially with the Big Thing way later on in the comic putting earlier events in a new light upon rereading (well, mostly just stuff related to Dave).

CHEL: And if we are supposed to take it seriously, how the fuck is Dave alive? A real kid in this situation wouldn’t have lived long enough to be traumatised.

[bakashidan]

TaS - The Sims 4 Farr Dynasty (1#1)

I’ve played TS4 for so long and have done lots of challenge (though without ever sharing about my experiences), but I have never had done the legacy challenge. Seeing that I currently have nothing to do in my game aside from the 30-days Build It challenge, obviously I decided to have a little fun with one of the biggest, oldest challenge around  🙌

Instead of creating a new sim from scratch, I picked out a randomly generated townie. This allowed me to have a completely random sim whose traits and aspiration are alien to me - since I have a tendency to make my sims look and have certain traits - while also introducing me to the freak show that is Maxis’s choice of... well, je ne sais quoi.

The game did a good job on utilizing all my cc, that’s for sure.

So here is the founder of the soon-to-be Farr Dynasty: Robin Farr.

Driven out of home by her parents, Robin Farr promises to create a far (pun not intended) greater legacy to prove her worth. She moves out to a small island near Windenburg, settling down on an empty land, with what little changes she’s saved up from her job as a leaf cutter. That’s right, folks. Our miss Farr is a gardener. Now that’s something I’ve never truly played with, despite having the seasons expansion. 

Following the basic rules of the challenge, the succession laws I follow are gender equality, traditional, merit, and brood. I considered the exemplar law, but then again it would be far more interesting to see which child tries to lick ass the most :D plus I rarely interact with children in my game plays, so the hates children trait really sits well with me. What doesn’t sit well instead is the scoring sheet, since I will most likely forget to tally all my dos and don’ts to even know my score at all due to college works. I also set down the quality to laptop mode due to having to work on another 3D rendering program, so my graphic in game looks quite crap.

Traits: Romantic, Geek, and Hates children. Hmmm.

After setting my money to §1800, I had to send her off to work because the damn phone is starting to explode with the boss’s calls. She brought home §175, a meager sum which I doubt would even be useful at all to help me build a house - SOOO I set her out to visit the neighbors, the Bro household and the Bjergsens. Robin had free meals over at the Bros’ and introduced herself to Bjorg Bjergsen and his smallest daughter, whom she had the misfortune of having to entertain. That little interaction gave her a 6 hours tense moodlet, lol.

That being said, right after the little imp scampered away to play in a leaf pile, Bjorg made a move on Robin and DUH, of course she retaliated back. They were watching a romantic movie together, sitting by each other’s side with flirtatious jokes flung around, generally having a really suggestive time a homeless person and a rich father of two shouldn’t be having. Then Clara Bjergsen came in, and Bjorg got embarrassed just in time before his wife caught on them. Robin left the house with a plate of warm turkey dinner and a dirty little secret I might had planned to cultivate.

She left the house to go back and sleep at the Bros’, I might add. That earned her a negative relationship with Joaquin, but also a significant boost to her romantic relationship with Sergio for no other reason than all the flirting the two kept doing because they were under the influence of the steamy ginseng juice Joaquin brewed. So much for trying to get her out of the house, Le Chien.

The romance went steady even with all the sneaking around Bjorg led Robin to do - he asked her to dinner right after he fought with Clara, took her to the humor and hijinks festival, and had a date to the park - and at the end of the day, Sergio’s romance meter was higher than Bjorg’s. Fuck it, I thought. Persuading good ole Bjorg to get a divorce is way harder than marrying Sergio. On their third dinner date Robin asked Sergio out, and he immediately followed up with a proposal. It might be because they were celebrating his birthday or whatever, dunno, but she said yes - and they eloped on impulse Θ_Θ)> The news didn’t sit well with Bjorg, who asked Robin out to another outing right after her sudden wedding.

He hated it. The old man argued with Robin and threw her drinks until suddenly, Clara Bjergsen came inside the bar, looking shocked to see her husband so violent. It prompted him to stop fighting with Robin, but the deed is done and the love is gone. Whatever fling they had had gone down the drain, even as Robin tried to smoothly recover and apologize (jackass had the nerves to shove her in response!). So I moved her out of the bar, heading to the art gallery, a place where she usually unwinds... with Jade Dragon. Seriously though, this game needs a heavy PG rating - and not just because there are super R-rated mods in the community :>

After three plates of chicken nuggets and unwinding with the bubble blower, I couldn’t force the poor girl to walk home when she’s already jackshit hammered. 

So she slept in the art gallery and was late to her work - oh, joy! - and I automatically switched to Sergio. He was chatting up Joaquin in front of a Japanese restaurant I put in Newcrest and Joaquin didn’t exactly look thrilled about it; so maybe he was asking Joaquin to be a godfather or something? Is this a sign from SimGod that some ~spicy~ woohoo is on the way that night?

Anyhow, because the lad had a day off, I fulfilled all the requirements for his promotion and bought some basic furniture to fill a 6x8 room. I crammed a (used) double futon, a baby basket, a toddler bed, a high chair, a fridge, a toilet, a bath tub, and a workstation as efficient as I could and bought some more decoration mod that resembled hastily given wedding gifts (clothes rack, shoe rack, and an ‘adults only’ neon sign that I put up for no other reason than looking cool during nighttime). Must’ve been heaven for Sergio, seeing as he was a materialistic sim. Building the whole room costed me an arm and a leg, and when Robin came back home the two of them had a quick, free meal to save on their food expenses.

Later that night, Joaquin invited Robin to dinner and Sergio tagged along. True to their action earlier, the bros started talking again about SimGod-knows-what and the conversation took a pretty strange turns when bubbles of sun, diaper, baseball gloves, and an anti-Sergio one poured out of Joaquin’s mouth lol. Is he rejecting Sergio’s offer? Is he dissing his bro? Is he really not bad-mouthing Robin, the one whom he had bad relations with?

Sims are... fickle????????

“Yo, what the fuck, bro.” -Sergio 2k19

On the side notes, while these three were having a serious conversation, the Landgraab couples came and copulated in front of the entry way. I never would’ve seen it coming, not even when the blue notification box popped up and notified the whole world about their intimate times. I luuurve WickedWhims, but sometimes it’s just too much hassle - both the setting and the random sex pair ups. Teen Alexander Goth came by and excitedly took a picture of the event (shame that NPCs can’t exactly take a picture, though).

Even more later on that night, after they went back to Joaquin’s place from dinner, a certain someone couldn’t keep their hands inside their pockets and flirted a lot. And by a lot, I mean a whole damn lot. Sergio finally won over Robin’s reluctance and they tried for baby inside his old closet while Joaquin took over Sergio’s old bed and slept on it. It took a single try for Robin to carry a kid from the suave tech guru, whereas with Bjorg none of the hot dilly dally even produced in anything but the cum slut spermatozoa fluid hussy moodlet. Good thing she broke up with Bjorg, right?

No.

God, I don’t even want to relish the next part ever again. Possibly one the worst drama I’ve witnessed in sim history, even with the knowledge that all kinds of activity that happens is probably mutually agreed upon. But hey, the worst is yet to come... I think. And the next part of our first generation is going to be a grim and heavy, but I won’t forget to add all the cute parts that popped up here and there. Rewriting my experience so far has made me realize just how dramatic a sims gameplay can be 🤔🤣

Special thanks to all the amazing creators whose mods I use during my gameplay, and to ChilliP0uch for talking me into joining this challenge ♥

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on the Homestuck Epilogues

Oh boy, where do I even begin talking about anything to do with a series that was such a huge part of my teenage years, and which I haven’t really thought about much at all since it ended over three years ago.

I wasn’t exactly going into it with high hopes, but honestly I really enjoyed it. I have a lot of complicated and mixed feelings about it overall, but at the end of the day it’s basically just even more Homestuck than we had before, with everything that entails.

I have a feeling that the fandom reaction to this has probably been really divisive, but I haven’t really looked at anything people have to say about it. And I’m gonna keep away from the fandom until I’ve caught up with the sequel series that apparently exists now, so I don’t get spoiled.

Anyway, detailed thoughts under the cut.

I guess the best place to start is probably by saying that I enjoyed the narrative structure of splitting this into two story arcs a lot more than I thought I would. I wasn’t even sure what to expect from how each path would go, since i went into this with basically zero idea of what to expect. Mostly I was worried that they’d feel unnecessarily similar and repetitive, but aside from the early parts of each path, they felt extremely different, in ways that I really liked.

For the record, I read the Candy path first, and then the Meat one. I’m still not entirely sure if that’s the ‘best’ way to have read it, but I liked it. Candy set up a whole bunch of mysteries that ended up getting explained in Meat, so I think that flowed nicely.

I think people are going to have very divisive opinions about which path they liked better, simply because each of them focus on taking the story in very different directions. Personally I’d say I liked Candy more than Meat just because I’m more of a ‘characters over plot’ kinda person, so the deep dive into long-term character development in that arc was a lot more interesting and satisfying to me than the more plot heavy focus of Meat, but there were also a whole bunch of moments in Meat that I really liked. And a whole lot of parts that I didn’t.

I’m glad I went into this [mostly] spoiler-free, since I had absolutely no idea that Candy was going to cover such a long period of time. I knew that both arcs started several years after the end of the main story, but I didn’t expect Candy to go up to when John and co were like 40. I have a feeling that a lot of people might not have liked that, but I did. Seeing how everything panned out for the characters and their relationships over such a relatively long period of time was really interesting. And for the most part I think the character development stuff in Candy just worked a lot better than in Meat because of how it had all that time to grow. The whole plot point of John’s depression in particular felt WAY more deep and serious in Candy when we saw it unfold over entire years of in-story time, and how it slowly eroded and warped his relationships with his friends and family. Watching John get married, have a kid, slowly drift away from his wife and kids due to his depression, and then eventually reconcile with them, was genuinely surreal to watch unfold.

In general i think the Epilogues as a whole [but Candy in particular] did a lot of surprisingly interesting and realistic things with the main characters, in ways that I wasn’t expecting. It really gave some of them the sort of relevance and development that they were kinda lacking in during the main story. To the degree that a lot of people probably interpreted some of it as out of character stuff that the author just came up with after the main story was over. But it all felt pretty natural to me. Jane basically becoming a fascist dictator probably pissed a whole lot of people off, but honestly it felt pretty true to her character and all of the different influences in her life, and she really needed SOMETHING to stand out as a character. It also made it pretty interesting to compare the Epilogues to the main story in terms of the time periods they reflect, and the sort of political commentary they express. By the end of it, Hussie seemed very self-aware of the fact that, to put it simply, Homestuck was written during the age of Obama, and the Epilogues were written during the age of Trump.

Jade’s one of the characters who felt most notably fleshed out compared to how she was in the original series, although she kinda ends up getting psuedo-fridged by the end of both arcs so I don’t have high hopes for how she’ll go as a character in the sequel, lol. Either way, it kinda felt like Hussie didn’t entirely know where to go with Jade as a character for the longest time, and I guess he came up with some ideas by the time he wrote this, one way or another. I wasn’t entirely expecting her to grow up into a promiscuous party girl, but honestly it makes sense, the more I think about it. I get the feeling not everyone liked it, though, lol.

Rose felt kinda sidelined here, especially in Meat, which was a little annoying, but I really liked her whole arc in Candy. Especially the whole scene where she talks to John about how even if he regrets the choices he made and the way that things turned out, she loves her life and how things worked out for her.

Jake still feels just as shallow as ever, and it kinda creeps me out how much it seems like Hussie has genuine contempt for him as a character. It just feels like it gets a little over-board at times, how much the story objectifies and humiliates and berates him. Between him and Tavros, it feels like Hussie really despises people who he thinks are ‘playing the victim’, but I don’t really feel like anything those two ever did in the story justifies the amount of shit they get. It’s just kinda weird and off-putting.

I’m really happy that we got so much focus and development for Dave and Karkat and their relationship. The emotional climax between them at the end of Meat was honestly one of the most emotionally rewarding parts of the whole book, as someone that’s shipped these two since I was a teenager. I do have some issues with how their stuff was written, but it’s part of my larger complaints about the Epilogue as a whole, so I won’t get into that just yet.

I’ve already talked a bit about John and his development arc in this so there’s not a whole lot more to say about him, I guess, but I still wanna say that even though I really liked how his relationship with Terezi was portrayed in theory, I think the actual ‘culmination’ of it in Meat felt kinda . . . unsatisfying. In general his whole arc in Meat felt extremely bare-bones compared to Candy, but him hooking up with Terezi just felt a bit shallow and honestly a little bit sleazy, in terms of the whole context and setting of it. It also just felt a bit rushed compare to how, in Candy, John had all those years to mull over his feelings for her. Seeing him struggle with the awkwardness of keeping up communications with her while hiding them from Roxy, and him eventually having to let go of her and accept that they’ll never meet again, felt a lot more emotional than them actually meeting and hooking up in Meat.

There’s a whole lot I can say about Dirk, but mostly it boils down to me not knowing if I just ‘love to hate him’, or if I just straight up hate him. He’s intentionally aggravating and polarizing as a character in every way, but sometimes that just means that in practice you’re writing an unlikable character that people don’t want to read about. I think his whole deal in Meat was extremely interesting from a narrative perspective, and I really liked the meta-textual focus that he gave to that arc, but it also meant being directly exposed to a whole bunch of his thoughts while he directly and indirectly manipulated with people. He kinda ended up defining how the Meat arc felt like it kept going between highs and lows. At the very least, I think he makes for a compelling villain for the sequel, way more so than Caliborn/Lord English ever was.

Even though I really loved what happened with John in this [mostly], I think that Roxy ended up being by far the most interesting and surprising character in the whole book. And probably one of the ones who people are most polarized on.

Just for the record, I’m gonna refer to him with he/him pronouns in this, since that’s where things ended with him in the Meat path, which seems like the one that’ll continue most directly into the sequel. And even in the Candy path you can tell that he struggles with his gender identity, and just takes a much longer time to come to any sort of answer about it. I haven’t actually read the sequel yet so I’m not sure what may or may not go down with him in that, and if he decides to continue to make changes to his presentation and self-identification, but this is what I’m going with for now.

In a lot of ways, I think his material in the Epilogues was some of the most compelling and emotionally earnest stuff. Until Dirk comes in and ruins it all with everything about his extremely obnoxious attitude. That ended up being one of the most aggravating parts of the whole book, lol. But it was pretty accurate to how a lot of people end up expressing their transphobia. It just made it uncomfortable to sit through. Mostly the whole whiplash between his extremely transparent and performative moments of being like ‘good for him. I absolutely do not care about gender at all, so he can do whatever the fuck he wants. This absolutely does not bother me at all, and I RESENT the idea that anyone could think that it ever would’, and him two seconds later being like ‘oh who the fuck cares if I misgender her, it’s not like she can even HEAR me, ugh’. It honestly felt a little weird and unexpected that Dirk ended up being so . . . . weird about the whole thing. It seemed like it struck some sort of nerve with him, and I’m not even sure why. Either way he ended up being a good example for future reference of this specific strand of transphobia where people flip back and forth between performative allyship and overblown and melodramatic annoyance at all of the ‘expectations’ that people are placing on them. Which tbh felt pretty similar to Jane freaking out every time someone rightfully accused her of being xenophobic.

Anyway, I really wasn’t expecting Roxy’s whole arc in this book to mostly revolve around his gradual acceptance of being non-binary/trans, but I really liked it. There’s definitely gonna be a whole lot of people who’ll think it came out of nowhere and is Dumbledore all over again and blah blah blah, but it made a lot of sense to me. Maybe Hussie didn’t have it planned in advance, but I don’t even think it really matters. And one way or another, looking back on the main story in hindsight, it’s pretty clear that he was always performing a sort of exaggerated image of what he thought of as femininity. Which we really saw a whole lot of here, especially in Candy where he never really gets the chance to properly explore those feelings of his. I have kinda mixed feelings about it, but I did like the part near the end of Candy where he’s reconciling with John and he talks about how giving birth helped him to reframe his mental perception of his female body as something unique and personal that he can embrace while divorcing it from the concept of femininity. I think that was a really interesting angle to go with. But there was still something more satisfying about seeing his progress with coming out in Meat, and how he experiments with his presentation and pronouns and whatnot. Maybe it’s a little insensitive of me, but I kinda wished there was an illustration of how he looked near the end of that path when he started presenting in masculine ways. I’m just really curious to see how that looked. I mean, they make it clear that he ended up looking a lot like Dave, but still.

Realistically I guess Roxy’s whole arc ended up resonating with me so much because of how it forces me even more to confront various personal conflicts and insecurities that I’ve been struggling with for a long time, but that’s a whole other story entirely.

Which is probably the best segue I can come up with to move into the topic of how, one way or another, I ended up with a lot of both praise and criticism for how the Epilogues handled these sorts of LGBT topics.

I guess the best way to sum it up is that a whole lot of it just felt like ‘cis/het author dude decides to Write About LGBT Topics [tm]’, if that makes sense. It was nowhere near as bad as it could have been, but for a lot of it I still felt like there was something inauthentic and detached about the whole thing. And tbh it felt like there were some kinda annoying double standards. Mainly with how we got all sorts of different f/m romance scenes laid out in all their detail and glory, but a lot of the LGBT stuff was kinda . . . cagey and distant. I kinda had to roll my eyes at the whole part where Dirk as the narrator tried to guilt-trip the audience for wanting to see Dave and Karkat make out. Listen, dude, if I had to sit through whatever the FUCK that sex scene between Vriska and Gamzee was, you better believe that all the straight dudes out there should have to read about Dave and Karkat making out. Honestly it kinda speaks to an even more broad double standard in media in general, where f/m stuff is taken at face value as being the expected norm, but it’s seem as ‘entitled’ or ‘voyeuristic’ to make demands about LGBT rep. It ends up just being an exhausting and transparent way for straight people to try and guilt trip people by going ‘don’t you think that YOU’RE being the real weirdos here????? hmm makes u think’. But that’s a whole complicated subject. And I do still think that Hussie has a lot of respect and care for his LGBT characters and their relationships and identities, but sometimes it’s just a bit exhausting to sit through this sort of perspective on it.

But it’s not like I hated all of it, or anything. As I said, Roxy’s character arc was really nice [even if seeing Dirk’s running commentary over it was fucking mind-numbing], and the stuff with Dave and Karkat was extremely satisfying and relatable. I also did like what relatively few moments we got between Rose and Kanaya. Let’s just say that I’m happy Kanaya’s whole arc in Meat didn’t unironically end with her going ‘welp, guess I’m single now, should have seen this one coming’.

And on a similar note, I’m really curious about the implication that Vriska from the Candy arc was able to get in touch with Terezi from the Meat arc. I’m really curious to see how that plays out.

Anyway, there’s probably a whole lot more I could talk about if I wanted, but I don’t want this to be TOO long, so here we go.

The Epilogues weren’t perfect, but they were a whole lot more substantial and ambitious than I expected, considering that I was getting the vibe that Hussie was burned out on the franchise and was probably looking to do something new instead. So I’m really surprised that the Epilogues were their own whole thing while also being a direct set-up for a full-blown sequel. I honestly have no real idea what to expect from that, but I’m excited. And I wasn’t expecting to be genuinely excited about the prospect of a Homestuck sequel in the year of our lord 2020, but here we are. It looks like it’ll mostly focus on Dave, Karkat, Roxy, Kanaya, and Jade from the Meat arc chasing after Dirk and Rose, which will be cool since I want to see more of those versions of them. I’m really curious to see if the Candy timeline and it’s cast end up being particularly relevant to the sequel, or if they’ll mostly just be left as their own isolated thing. At the very least, it looks like the Vriska from there is getting in touch with Terezi, and that the Dave from that timeline is gonna be part of the sequel as Davebot. But we’ll see.

So yeah, that’s around about it. I guess there’s no better way to start the new decade off than by being punched in the face with 600 or so pages of raw, concentrated Homestuck.

[dahniwitchoflight]

I kind of wanna make a little text flowchart of my thoughts for how I came to the basic conclusion of the Homestuck classes that I got

so here you go lol if you were curious about my rough train of thought surrounding things

basically, start with some lovely canon statements:

-Prince/+Bard are Male Exclusive Destruction Classes

-Thief/+Rogue are Female Inclined Stealing Classes (Broadly, Relocation)

Witch is Active, Seer is Passive, Lord is Male/Most Active, Muse is Female/Most Passive

"The most active class out of the 12 standard classes is female, the two most passive ones are both male."

“The active passive scale is tinted slightly male active leaning and slightly female passive leaning”

those last two together I basically interpret to mean that out of the 12 standard classes, there is an equal amount of Male associated or Female associated classes on both the active and passive sides, Lord and Muse having no equivalents besides each other, are the ones to tip the scales onto each side

then, make some conclusions based off of that interpretation

Homestuck has a lot of equal and equivalent pair systems where everything has an equal and opposite balancing factor, it’s a major theme, Creation/Destruction, Active/Passive, Green/Red, Cherubs, Benevolence/Malevolence, Black/White, the Taoist themes of YinYang like duality in general permeates throughout, especially in the classpect system

so two canon Male Exclusive Destruction classes means two Female Exclusive Creation classes must exist, as the most obvious conclusion, and just because of the active passive gender balancing factor

of the following classes left: Witch, Heir, Knight, Page, Maid, Sylph, Mage, Seer

the only ones that even can be Female Exclusive are Witch, Maid and Sylph

and as they also have to be a pair associated with Creation to match Prince/Bard, the only viable options are Maid and Sylph, as both classes associated with healing and creation, Witch being otherwise associated with Change and Manipulation (and I personally see Maid as Active versus Sylph passive, but it doesn’t matter beyond this) 

so -Maid/+Sylph

next, having two canon Female leaning classes in a pair must mean the existence of two Male leaning classes also in a pair, as well because of the active passive gender balancing factor

of the following classes left: Witch, Heir, Knight, Page, Mage, Seer

 Witch can’t (no male examples), Mage and Seer are neutral in role and name and have 1 male 1 female each so it’s unlikely

so that leaves Heir, Knight and Page

and again, like Thief/Rogue, they must be a pair of male leaning classes

Knight/Page are again the obvious pick as the Horse Classes, their defining shared trait, if at least nothing else can be agreed upon, is Horse. 

and I personally see it as -Knight/+Page, but before we make that assumption, let’s remember that the number of Male and Female Actives and Passives must be Equal in order to match the canon statement

and so far we have:

Active: Prince(M), Thief (F), Witch(F), Creation (F), Horse (M)

Passive: Bard(M), Rogue (F), Seer(?), Creation (F), Horse (M)

leaving Heir(3M and 0F) and Mage(1M and 1F)

now here’s where we come to the first assumption that doesn’t have any specific canon confirmation statement, just the whole comic and introspections we get from reading:

Mage/+Seer are a pair under the knowledge function, a bold assumption I know :p

and since Seer is confirmed Passive, Mage is the Active half, giving the last active space to Mage, and forcibly leaving Heir with no other option except to grab that last 12th Passive space

so we get:

Active: Prince(M), Thief (F), Witch(F), Creation (F), Horse (M), Mage(?)

Passive: Bard(M), Rogue (F), Heir(M), Creation (F), Horse (M),  Seer(?)

now, Witch and Heir have been assigned F and M respectively, on the account of there being no M Witch or F Heir examples, so Witch is either F Exclusive or Leaning, and Heir is either M Exclusive or Leaning to match

as well as both Mage and Seer have 1 example for each gender, so just on example alone they have no gender lean

BUT, again, we know that the amount of Active classes must have an equal amount of male and female associated, same the passive classes must have equal amounts of male and female examples

and so far, we have 3 Active F, and 2 Active M, meaning Mage must lean towards the male side of things in order to equally tip the balance in favor of Male active

same thing for Seer and Female, as currently passive has 3 Male and 2 Female

Active: Prince(M), Thief(F), Witch(F assumed), Creation(F), Horse(M), Mage(M)

Passive: Bard(M), Rogue(F), Heir(M assumed), Creation(F), Horse(M),  Seer(F)

and now we revisit a canon statement again

"The most active class out of the 12 standard classes is female, the two most passive ones are both male."

this is where we get into more nebulous territory of assigning different levels of activity to different classes, because it’s a much more personal interpretation here

BUT I can say, that 2 Most Passive classes are explicitly Male

Bard is obviously one of them

and either Heir, Page or Knight is the Most Male/Passive class

now to go through some information in order to make a decision here

Heirs are inheritors, they often have favorable things fall into their lap or given to them or are led around by others. Then also suggested to be Passive in nature by Hussie when talking about the nature of Prospit attracting Passives like John

Knights are called Warriors, Exploiters, and specifically are a class that leaves the thinking and tactics to other classes, suggesting at least an Action/Fighting focused class. Then also suggested to be Active in nature by Hussie when talking about the nature of Derse attracting Actives like Dave.

Page is never called explicitly Active or Passive, but their one notable trait is “one of the most eventually powerful, but it takes a while and patience to get there” and are commonly read by myself and fandom as Passive

at the very least, I think a distinction can be made that it can’t be the Knight, as it of the three is the most likely to take the active spot

leaving us with this:

Active: Prince(M), Thief(F), Witch(F), Creation(F), Knight(M), Mage(M)

Passive: Bard(M), Rogue(F), Heir(M), Creation(F), Page(M),  Seer(F)

surprisingly though, the one thing I am the most flexible on in terms of Activity is Maid/Sylph, they are definitely a pair, but I think there is some room for argument for whether or not Sylph or Maid is the active one in that pair

both maids and sylphs heal, (themselves and others) both Aradia and Aranea were focused on being the caretakers of the realm, Aradia through death and the dreambubbles, Aranea through her plan to take over the alpha timeline

Boths maids and sylphs too all have connections to enjoying their roles as spectators, but sylphs more so in that regard (both Jane and Porrim were def not content to just sit out and wait) Jane and Porrim together do seem to be more action oriented than say Aranea and Kanaya, but their are exceptions like Kanaya and her chainsaw and Aradia preferring to housekeep the end times

but robo aradia has quite the passive called attitude of complacency during her inversion, whereas living aradia seems much more excited to go do things and watch stuff happen in the bubbles

for me personally, the scale is tipped enough that I can comfortably place Maid as Active and Sylph as Passive

so that’s basically how I got to here:

Active: Prince(M), Thief(F), Witch(F), Maid(F), Knight(M), Mage(M)

Passive: Bard(M), Rogue(F), Heir(M), Sylph(F), Page(M),  Seer(F)

then, as for the scale itself from Most Active to Most Passive

I keep going back to this, keep redoing it over and over, but I always seem to eventually come back to the same interpretation over time, eventually always gravitating back towards it as it always seems like the correct one even when I try to look at things through new angles

Lord: Thief / Prince / Witch / Knight / Maid / Mage -/

/- Page / Sylph / Seer / Rogue / Bard / Heir :Muse

firstly because of the "the most Active class after Lord is female, and the two most Passive classes after Muse are male” also sort of implies that the class after the most active female class is a male class, and the the class after the two most passive male classes is a female class, because if it weren’t hussie would have said something like “the next two active classes are female” or “the last 3 passive classes are male”

meaning Prince had to be where it is, and of Bard/Heir/Page two had to be the most passive, but in working with the numbers, I figured Bard had to at least be that 2nd last passive slot

and I did a lot of thinking of whether or not Page and Heir were in the spots that they were, but considering Page’s nature as “indeterminate activity levels” and Heir’s nature as “quite passive everything pushes them forward/gives them stuff” it felt appropriate to make Page the most active passive class, fitting it’s indeterminate classification, and Heir as most passive, fitting whats known about Heirs

then using Prince/Bard/Heir/Page/Lord/Muse as the pattern keys i tried to figure it out using numerical patterns and what felt right overall

Thief as most active fits, and Rogue as the next passive after Bard also fits, both contributing to a certain pattern

Witch after Prince fitted Heir after Bard, then Maid and Sylph as flipped placements of Prince/Bard seemed to fit both classes natures as being closer to the middle line, then finally Knight Maid Mage feeling like a comfortable mirror of Page Sylph Seer completed the set

so this scale fits to me, but even better, its the only scale I could find where certain numerical patterns all fit together

so in this scale, each inversion pair is 6 Spaces away from eachother exactly like this:

Thief/Page = 6

Prince/Sylph = 6

Witch/Seer = 6

Knight/Rogue = 6

Maid/Bard = 6

Mage/heir = 6

 and each active/passive pair is either 9 or 3 spaces away like this:

Thief/Rogue = 9

Prince/Bard = 9

Witch/Heir = 9

Knight/Page = 3

Maid/Sylph = 3

Mage/Seer = 3

and fittingly, the 3 pairs with 9 all have a clear disparity between which is the active and which was the passive in the pair, and the ones with only 3 spaces between all had a less clear disparity in which one was active or passive in the text as well

so yeah, that was my thought process and this is my final outcome:

Scale:

(Active) Lord: Thief / Prince / Witch / Knight / Maid / Mage -/

/+ Page / Sylph / Seer / Rogue / Bard / Heir :Muse (Passive)

Pairings:

-Lord/+Muse, -Thief/+Rogue, -Prince/+Bard, -Witch/+Heir, -Knight/+Page, -Maid/+Sylph, -Mage/+Seer

Gender Lean/Inclination/Trend:

Male: -Lord, -Prince, -Mage, -Knight and +Page, -Bard, +Heir

Female: +Muse, +Sylph, +Seer, +Rogue and -Thief, -Maid, -Witch

Going through the thought process again certainly helps these things, but I’m so picky about little things, that this time I tried to go back to basics, just figure it out from the few canon statements that we do have and see where it goes, and here I am