#but it backfires and they either go crazy or stupid or something related to the monster in the woods being out and the sheriff being like

[enidtendo64]

So Wednesday on like full moon days, Would she be more aggressive? Or would she be surprisingly antsy

Yeah I think she has the same werewolf stuff others have during the full moon, except I think she’d be better like, keeping it under wraps? Or maybe like “an Addams welcomes the pin and suffering of our nature, it’s what keeps us feeling alive.” “Ok so you’re an EDGY werewolf I see.”

She is not immune to werewolf zoomies in her baser state, however.

She def has Thing free her from the cages bc I don’t think Addamses would abide with being locked up and not allowing them to go beast mode during the full moon.

[justali-anne]

I'm imagining Undertale as a zany cartoon. As in, a Looney Tunes-esque thing.

In my head, I just called it Toontale. Simple enough.

Basically, it's about the cast doing wacky cartoon stuff. Just like Looney Tunes.

I loved Looney Tunes when I was younger (and I still do), so thinking of this gives me happiness in ways I can't describe.

And then I imagined Frisk being the only normal human in this wacky cartoon world and Toontale was born.

So, I'm gonna give a brief summary of the characters... My favourite. :)

Also, yes, a lot of their behaviours ARE based on classic cartoon characters! It just feels right!

Ready. Here we go!

Flowey:

Think of Wile. E. Coyote but he can talk. (Wait, Wile. E. can already talk... Not usually, but still.)

Flowey does all sorts of crazy things to try and get Frisk's soul.

Predictably, his schemes often end up backfiring on him, either due to his own overconfidence or Frisk's ridiculously good luck.

Of course, Frisk's luck runs out when he starts being serious. Anyone want a Photoshop Flowey?

Possibly the only character that's a tried and true REAL threat. When he gets serious, that is.

Basically, when Flowey decides to attack directly, he's a LOT more competent.

And his backstory is the same.

Asriel is not very cartoony either.

Toriel:

She's the tu-Toriel. She means well.

She knows the monsters and all the wacky antics that ensue.

Not immune to slapstick, but is less susceptible to it than the others.

Borders the line between "straight man" and the "karmic trickster."

However, the "karmic trickster" side is rare, and it's a lot more subtle than Sans.

Her fight consists of classic cartoon gags that Frisk would encounter on their journey.

Her fight is literally a showcase of everything.

She holds back because she still wants to keep Frisk safe.

Sans:

His counterpart is based on none other than Bugs Bunny!

The sly trickster of the group. He uses his wit to get out of work.

Sometimes he can be a bit... strange. Not as strange as Papyrus, but still. Strange.

When he's not being lazy, he's being a nutty trickster to people, mainly Papyrus.

His dynamic with Papyrus is almost exactly like the main game, just 10% wackier.

He likes to trick Undyne too. And Frisk.

Very friendly when not provoked.

More meta than he seems. Most likely to directly break the fourth wall.

Papyrus:

He's pretty cartoony already, so not much has changed.

His puzzles ALWAYS backfire. No matter what. Mostly on himself.

Papyrus can change costumes at the blink of an eye.

He claims to be the straight man, but he's actually much kookier than most of the cast.

Sometimes says random things that don't make sense, but Sans always understands him.

Overconfidence is a curse.

He isn't stupid, but he has stupidly bad luck. His boss battle proves that.

His heart is as big as his wackiness.

Extremely hyperactive sometimes.

VERY prone to slapstick.

Undyne:

Super tough fish with a temper!

Zany, but is very prone to slapstick.

A lot of her pursuits of the human end up with her mistaking Frisk for something or someone else, including a random cactus and Monster Kid.

Sometimes she can get into tunnel vision, making her less likely to see random cartoonish traps.

Made of steel. She can survive anything. Well... almost anything.

Her Undying form is... less toony. She's more powerful and scary.

Her temper can get her into a lot of trouble.

Not stupid. Just impulsive and narrow-minded at times.

Alphys:

A strange case.

She's very much a relatable straight man. But her fantasies can make her just as wacky as the rest.

Her eyes are very expressive, especially around Undyne. They turn into hearts and love bubbles come out of her.

Often foiled with other wackier characters like Undyne and Mettaton.

Shy and polite, but she has a trickster side when pushed too far or reaching for a goal.

Her toon traps are top-notch too! She knows what she's doing!

When she's confident (rare), she can be sarcastic and assertive, at times even flirty.

Mettaton:

Another trickster!

A trickster who can be, again, overconfident with his traps.

Unlike Papyrus and Flowey, though, they DO NOT backfire on him.

His ego is enormous, but he's also incredibly smart.

He knows the rules of the cartoon world. He knows how to cheat the system.

While he isn't immune to slapstick, he tends to initiate it more often than not.

Knows how to put on a good show.

Pretends to be dumb. It's all a trick.

Asgore:

The ultimate straight man.

Very aware of the strange antics of his subjects.

He likes to watch and laugh at their antics. It distracts him from his inner torment.

He can be just as goofy sometimes, especially when he's happy.

He's VERY prone to slapstick, especially since he's a straight man.

Gets stuck everywhere.

When alone, he likes to take things a bit more seriously. He has to for the sake of the kingdom.

After all... Who needs a looney king? (This world does.)

That's it for now!

[cinnamonest]

Congratulations, gentlemen. You made yourselves single again! 👏👏

That really made me angry tho :) I wonder how you can get them to stop? Like, the reader tells them that their parents separated because one of them cheated on the other and that greatly affected you, solidifying your absolute loyalty towards your partner?

I can see this backfiring a little bit tho lol (shame on you Venti. Take a page from Benny here, who you're SUPPOSED TO be on the same level 😤)

Ooooh... That's it anon I'm making HCs for breaking up with them and it’s not gonna be pleasant >:)

Modern AU -- breakups

TW: homicide-suicide mentions, intense slutshaming on one, cheating-related stuff, physical abuse/pain, sexism. And like most of these are kiiiiiinda pretty severe, not mild, so you've been warned

=========== Kaeya

It's *other people's* fault isn't it? Other people brainwashed you, made you hate him! But whose fault is it? If there's no specific people he'll just have to get rid of everyone. But he has to persuade you first. Which is why you wake up with either a knife to your chest or a gun to your head. It's simple. Either you get back together... Or you die. Don't worry though, even if you choose to die, he's loyal. He'll just kill himself after killing you and everyone you know and chase you into the afterlife itself. Isn't that kinda romantic in a way? How devoted he is to loving you? Pulls the if I can't have you, no one can line.

Oh, and if you choose to not die, you're going to help. You're going to name every single guy and you're going to tell him where they live and you're going to choose how they die. You get to pick the methods -- one dies by stabbing, one dies by shooting, you can even come up with some creative ones if you want! And you choose who gets what and in which order they'll die. That's how you prove your love. You'll drive to each and every place, get out of the car (at knifepoint if necessary), and go knock on the door while he stands to the side. It's you, so they'll let you in. They probably think you're there to fuck, since you've probably been a cocktease to every guy you know. They won't see it coming.

  And there's another rule. If you start crying, you'll be the one to kill them. If you won't do it, he'll just hold the gun in your hand and wrap his index finger over yours to pull the trigger. Again, kinda romantic in a way. But since he didn't touch it... it'll be your fingerprints on it, and the gun is left at the scene. We wouldn't want you doing anything stupid like going to the police, would we? This is just a measure to keep you from making a stupid decision like that. And then when the police come looking for you, since you're associated with the victim... well, maybe then you'll be grateful that you're locked up in the basement, hidden away. Albedo

Says no. You're flabbergasted for a minute, what do you mean no? You don't get to decide! He says yes he does. His voice and face gets dark and you feel a fear creep up in your chest. You know he's, well, really controlling and toxic, but not... Unhinged enough to do something... Really bad... Right? He takes a step forward. You take a step back. And then you realize that yes, yes he is that unhinged. You tell him you're insane. You bolt. It's futile. Arms latch around your waist and you realize maybe having this breakup alone in your/his place wasn't a good idea. Drags you to the bed kicking and screaming and takes you right there, rambling about how he'll show you why trying to throw him away is a mistake. You're just crazy. Hysterical. Delusional. You don't even know what you're doing.

  Or maybe... Maybe this was intentional, wasn't it? You wanted this. You wanted to make them mad and make them fuck you so that you could feel important and needed. You never expected them to let you dump them, you had no intention of doing so, this was all for attention. And you have the nerve to call him toxic. Girls do this kind of thing all the time, they'll do drastic or extreme things for attention and affirmation without thinking it through, because you can't be level headed, you think with your feelings. Girls blow things out of proportion too, are overdramatic like that, because he's really not as bad as you claim. You're over dramatic. You're making a big deal out of nothing. It's ridiculous.

And if you have to feel pain to understand that, well, so be it. Ties you up, face down ass up, and belts or whips your ass and thighs until you admit it. Admit you're being ridiculous, admit you're just trying to get attention and make him mad, admit that you're immature and hysterical. Once you do that, you can be untied. But because you're overdramatic, you'll go out and make shit up to other people, so for now, you'll at least stay bound to bed until you can be trusted. Childe/Zhongli

He just... well, the reaction depends. Childe rolls his eyes, Zhongli just kind of chuckles. He doesn't have the dark reaction because he doesn't take you seriously. He assumes from the get-go that this was for attention, to make them jealous, you're just like an angry little kitten scratching it's master when it's mad, a kid yelling at their parent that they hate them and "running away", aka going two blocks down the street and then coming back crying. Really, it's like you to pull something like this because you're a whiny little brat that doesn't think things through. That's why you need him, you just are too childish to be grateful. You're petulant, immature. And you'd just come running back to him within 24 hours, anyway. Because you couldn't handle life without him. You'd realize very quickly what a mistake it was.

  But yeah he acts like you're not serious, just rolls off his shoulders. You insist you ARE serious. He sighs, God you're such a child. You're gonna go out there and go fuck someone and then come back and rub it in his face to make him jealous, that's your plan isn't it? That's what he says as he stands between you and the door.

  But you know what? He should let you do it, let you go, then slam the door in your face when you come crawling back. He should. That's what any self-respecting person would do. You are so, so lucky that not only would he take your ungrateful, immature ass back if you did, but he knows you'd regret it so much that he's going to be the mature one here and prevent you from doing it in the first place.

If you want to behave like a child, fine, he'll treat you like a child. Children live with their parents. Children don't choose when they leave or what they do. You'll be like a child... he controls you, keeps you, tells you what you can and can't do. And when children are bad, they get grounded. They have to stay inside and can't leave. Until they learn their lesson. That's the only way you'll learn. And once you've decided to be good, once you can come out, maybe you'll be a little more respectful. Diluc/Xiao/Xingqiu

Assumes there's someone else, isn't there? You've been cheating on him haven't you? Calls you a slut and a whore but, you know, he loves you even though you're a slut. You know who else loves sluts? Yeah. No one. He's the only person who would ever forgive you. Anyone else would think you're disgusting and used.

He needs to know who the someone else is, though. Maybe it's similar to the attention seeker - you're trying to make him jealous. After all, it can't actually be for the sex, since no one else could ever fuck you like he does. You want him to prove himself? Fine. He found several guys when they went through your phone. It's one of them isn't it? Or maybe all of them, maybe you really are a whore. Well, since you refuse to tell him and keep lying saying that's not true, maybe they'll just kill all of them. Happy now? God, you're a demanding slut too. Sluts have no right to be so conceited as you are, they have no right to demand anything. You should grovel for forgiveness. No one else would forgive you, but he does, and you should be grateful.

He gets violent. If you don't wanna grovel, he'll make you. Shoves you down to the floor face down, but before you can recover he steps on your head, pressing your face into the floor with their boots. You can get up after you've told them the guy's name and begged for forgiveness. You insist there's no other guy... Whoops, looks like they stomped and broke your poor nose, based on your shrieking. ...How about now? In the end, you're forced to name a random male friend... Poor guy.

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 7

Day 7 - There is a string tied around your pinky that only you can see, the end of it leads to your soulmate.

Pairing(s): Kid AU! Intrulogical

TWs: Remus being Remus [though not overly so, he’s like, 9 here], some swearing

–

Remus Castillo and Logan Smith were two very different children; former was creative and bursting with chaotic energy, while the latter preferred to be more logical, more stable. One studied hard into the night despite his young years, the other decided that a good time was filling a blender with crayons and silly putty to see what would happen. Both attended different schools, lived a good distance apart, and neither of their families knew the other existed.

What could possibly bring together such opposing forces?

If your answer wasn’t being forcibly dragged kicking and screaming from the local museum by security for tampering with the exhibits and screaming about historical theft, then congratulations; you’re most likely still sane.

How did these very different children meet, you ask? 

The story began on a Friday lunchtime - as all good stories often do - when Sanders Elementary and Faraday Academy For Gifted Children both booked their museum visits for the same time slot. Thankfully, the museum staff speculated that they could indeed handle two classes of fourth graders at once - those poor, unfortunate souls - and decided to start both classes off on either sides of the museum with a little overlap.

Logan entered the foyer with his peers, gazing around at the array of trinkets and treasures adorning the space. Though he hungered for knowledge of all kinds, his heart was set on the cosmos, reaching for a copy of the museum’s map when his hand was blocked by another. He recoiled and turned to face the other; a boy with tanned skin as opposed to his own pasty complexion, with wild green eyes that bore into Logan’s own, and a grin like a shark about to snap Logan’s hand up in it’s jaws.

“I call dibs, four eyes!”

Logan huffed, straightening his glasses, “There are plenty of maps to go around, there is no need for rudeness-”

“Why do you talk like you’ve got a stick up your ass?”, the boy asked with no hint of remorse nor shame, “Just talk like a regular kid, jeez!”

Logan was flabbergasted. No one had ever talked to him like that before. Then again, no one ever really talked to him in general. Perhaps that was why his lonely little brain could only think to stammer out, 

“Who ARE you!?”

The boy roared with laughter, “Wow, thats all you have to say!? And they call ME weird!” , he shot a hand out towards Logan’s, not removing the one touching the map, “I’m Remus! What’s your name, frankenstein?”

Logan huffed, “Logan Smith. And you know,”, he began, puffing his chest out proudly as he yanked the map away, “Frankenstein was the scientist, not the monster, therefore, you’re not insulting me-”

Without hesitation, Remus leant into Logan’s space and licked the map, causing Logan to jolt back and drop it. Picking up his spoils, Remus chuckled manically, “You look smart but you’re super dumb. Frankenstein IS the monster, dumbass, that’s the whole point.”. Without waiting for Logan’s rebuttal, Remus made his way back to his class, leaving Logan to frustratedly grab another map and return to his class, unaware of the string that formed around his pinky…

The tour was everything Logan had hoped for; an informative romp through space and time, enjoying the sights of the planetarium and a walk through a tunnel lined with geodes. And yet, all Logan could think about was that stupid boy who stole HIS map. Hmph! How dare Remus call him stupid! Whatever, at least they would stop soon to have lunch in the Polar Exhibit and he wouldn’t have to think about- 

Oh god dammit.

As they entered the wide circular room, he laid eyes on the boy from before pretending to have gotten his tongue stuck to the giant fake iceberg in the centre of the room. Cheering him on was a gaggle of other children while their teacher seemed more content to just eat his own lunch and try to pretend it wasn’t his problem. Logan huffily stormed over to the nearest empty seat and popped open his Big Hero Six lunchbox, ready to moodily munch his jelly sandwiches when a painfully familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

“We meet again, professor!”

Great.

“Remus.”, Logan hissed, though he tried to maintain composure, “A pleasure, I’m sure but I must be-”

“- crazy to run away from your soulmate?”, Remus finished, leaving Logan, once again, speechless.

“E-Excuse me!?”

“Check your pinkie, dingus.”

Logan checked and finally noticed the string, and to his horror, the end of it that tied itself around Remus’ pinkie.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me for life! Unless I die, then you’re stuck with my corpse. Oooh! Maybe you can bring me back to life! Really earn that Frankenstein nickname-”

“This HAS to be a mistake!”, Logan squeaked, flustered and shocked by the news, “There’s no way YOU are my soulmate!”

Logan made eye contact with Remus and for a moment the boy looked hurt, but he plastered on a grin and poked Logan in the arm, “Nope! Fate thinks you’re my future husband, so suck it!”

Groaning, Logan let out an exasperated sigh, “Fine, then I suppose you should tell me about yourself, Remus.”. Logan would - for eternity and a day after - deny that the smile Remus gave him made his little heart flutter for the first time.

As the two ate, Remus went into a long tangent about his life and Logan found himself absolutely fascinated. 

Remus Castillo had a twin brother, Roman, who enjoyed Disney movies and being “an overly wordy drama queen”. They had a single father, much like Logan’s own, whose wife had apparently decided she was destined for greater things that didn’t involve unplanned twin boys (Remus’ words, not his). Logan listened as Remus told him all about his family’s culture, having moved from Aguascalientes to Florida a year ago for work related reasons; retelling fond memories of watching the parade of Calaveras along the Avenida Madero with his father and brother each year. Logan found Remus really enjoyed a mixture of colourful and morbid subjects, each tangent sending Remus on a fun winding road down memory lane or through a vague memory of some educational book.

Logan Smith had wanted nothing to do with the boy who’d licked his hand and stolen his map, but as lunch ended and both classes were being called away to their respective classes, he found he didn’t want to be separated from Remus.

Very apparently, Remus didn’t want to either. If they way he was gasping Logan’s arm and hauling him towards the class from Sanders Elementary instead of his own was any indicator. 

“Come on! You can hang with us! Roman won’t mind! And my buddy Remy’s lotsa fun too-”

“Remus Castillo, stop right there.”

Remus indignantly ignored his teacher, plowing through his sentence, “You’ll LOVE my class, they’re all weirdos like us-”

“REMUS!”, barked his teacher, already done with the nine year old terror, “You let that boy go this instant!”

Remus defiantly clung tighter to Logan’s arm, “No!”

“Remus Castillo, you’re to let go NOW.”

“But he’s my soulmate!”, Remus yelled, causing his classmates to chatter excitedly. It made Logan feel a little self conscious, but Remus didn’t seem to care, “Pleeeeease let him come with us!!”

His teacher rubbed his temples as if it could massage the exhaustion away, “That’s nice, but you are NOT going to cause more trouble, soulmate or not!”

By now, even the children and teacher from Logan’s academy were watching the commotion. It came to a head as Remus’ teacher tried to separate the two of them, earning the tiniest war cry from Remus as he stomped on his teacher’s foot and clung fully to Logan like his life depended on it.

“I’M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT HIM! I’LL STAY HERE UNTIL WE’RE A GROSS MUSHY PILE OF SKIN AND BONES IF I HAVE TO!”

With that pleasant image in his brain, Logan decided to perhaps appeal to his own teacher,

“Miss, can Remus perhaps stay with our group so we may avoid further-”

“Absolutely not,”, she turned up her nose at Remus’ display, “Our school has a reputation to uphold, I will not have it sullied by such a rude child.”

Well that backfired. Now both teachers were having to try and separate the two of them. It took two of the museum’s security personnel to finally haul Remus off of Logan, carrying the writhing child as they assured his teacher that they’d put him in the tantrum room. With the way they handled his feral yelling and attempts to grab at any nearby exhibits for something he could use to bash them with, this probably wasn’t their first Rabid Child Rodeo.

Logan watched dejectedly as they hauled his soulmate out of sight while his teacher ordered him to get in line as they continued their tour. He couldn’t focus on any of the various bewitching artifacts that the guide presented to them on their tour of the ancient world though, all he could think about was Remus. Alone. Stuck in some room. Missing out on the exhibits. Missing him.

“....Emile?”, Logan asked the boy standing to his left.

“Yes, Logan?”

“I’m about to do something very, very impulsive.”

“.... Okay?”

“And reckless.”

“...Right-”

“In the name of fate.”

“........”, Emile sighed, “What do you need me to do?”

“Either talk me out of what is likely a terrible decision that will without a doubt go on my permanent record and possibly disappoint my father. Or encourage me so that I may spend time with my soulmate for as long as possible.”

Emile shook his head, “Well, if cartoons have taught me anything, it’s that you’re gonna go for it no matter what I say so...”. He placed a hand on Logan’s shoulder, “Make it good, Logan, I wanna remember the day the untouchable Logan Smith lost his mind.”. With a shared chuckle, Emile let him wind up for whatever he was about to do, while Logan waited for his moment. The tour guide was gesturing to an exhibit of ancient Mayan armour when Logan chose to strike, raising his hand while Emile awaited the fireworks show to come.

“Sir? I have a question.“

“Of course, what is it?”

“Did the museum ask permission to have that armour?”

The guide looked confused while Logan’s teacher looked ready to have an aneurysm.

“I… don’t understand what you mean. Anyway this-”

“I’m merely asking,”, Logan interrupted, ready to keep pushing until he would be  hauled off by security, “because I believe that if it were my culture being mercilessly appropriated and stolen from, I would be rather upset.”

“We’re allowed to have it because it’s for education-”

“But it’s still stealing. And stealing is always wrong, correct?”

“Well, it-”

“It’s a yes or no question, please answer as such-”

-

Remus hadn’t expected company in the tantrum room, but he wasn’t complaining as Logan was marched in, looking positively proud of himself in spite of the way the security guard nearly tossed him inside with obvious frustration. With a bright grin, Remus pat the beanbag next to him, positively writhing with unbridled joy, “Spill! What’d you do?!”.

Logan tried to play stoic and prideful, but the excitement cracked through in his voice, “I merely inquired as to why museums considered their historical thievery to be ethically justified until the tour guide got angry and attempted to ignore me.”. “Sick!! Then what!?”, Remus’ delighted eyes met Logan’s with a similar sparkle of mischief.

Logan chuckled as he admired their string of fate, as people called it, slowly pulling his eyes from it to meet Remus’ again, “I screamed. Loudly. For quite the duration. I must say, I’m rather proud of my own lung capacity.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but there was a fondness in it.

“Naturally, security came to try and calm the situation.”

“And then they brought you here?”

“No, they attempted to calm me down”, Logan snickered, “But, one of them put a hand on my shoulder rather rudely. So I bit them-” “YOU BIT ‘EM!?”, if Logan could bottle the light that radiated from Remus there and then, he would have, his own smile growing while his soulmate’s grin threatened to tear through his cheeks, “Logan, mi alma, you’re insane! I love it!”

“Mi alma?”, Logan queried, his cheeks losing the great blush war as his face radiated a nice rosy crimson.

“Oh, right!”, Remus explained, “It means ‘my soul’, it’s what people call their boyfriends ‘n’ stuff back home. I figured since you’re my soulmate, it makes sense to call you that!”

For a moment, Remus faltered, “Uh…. if you don’t mind I guess? It’s whatever, I’ll stop if you hate it-”

“No, no, I rather appreciate the sentiment,” , Logan awkwardly smiled back at Remus, “Mi alma?”

The wilder of the two threw his head back in a roar laughter, “Man, your pronunciation sucks! And that’s an easy one!“, he teased as he shuffled his beanbag closer to Logan’s and continued with a wild smile, “Looks like I gotta stay with you for sure now and make sure you get it right! You’re stuck with me, Nerdy Wolverine!”

It would be hard work convincing his father to let him move schools to be with Remus, Logan knew that. Despite the fact his father adored love in all forms and regarded the bond of soulmates as sacred, Logan knew it’d logically be a hard sell to ask his father to not only pull him out of an expensive academy, but also to have him possibly move home or make a rather lengthy commute. 

But as Remus’ had met Logan’s, the latter found himself locking fingers with his wild soulmate, banishing that thought while they still had time together. Whether it would work out right away, after a couple of months, or even over the course of a few years, they’d make it work.

“Falsehood,”, Logan smirked, “I believe it’s you that’s stuck with me.”

-----------

Okay, this one’s the cutest thing hands down. I’m so proud of this one! As a tidbit, I had it in mind that their single fathers were Janus for the twins and Patton for Logan. 

@tsshipmonth2020

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses

[m00nslippers]

You just hit the nail on the head for the main reasons I don't read JayTim. I don't care for Tim on a good day. I have no opinion on him and don't want to. But I will read anything that prominently features Jason. I just don't like Jason's characterization in most JayTim fics

Yeah, most JayTim have this thing where Tim needs to be right and the best at everything all the time (except cooking and house chores, Jason is allowed to be better than Tim at that). I know some good ones where that isn’t the case, but some otherwise lovely JayTim have me sighing and shaking my head because the whole thing paints Jason as incompetent or less competent than Tim, which is so backwards to me. Fanfic writers also feminize Tim a lot which I’m not really into. But power to you, if it makes you happy, I just personally don’t enjoy it.

I’m on the fence about Tim, himself. I have tried to read his stuff a few times and I just can’t get into it, so I’m not super knowledgeable except for reading meta and seeing panels. I want to like him, but it’s honestly just hard for me to figure out who he is supposed to be? He feels like someone’s self-insert character a lot of the time, to be honest. Both in fic and in canon. He’s not a perfect person, but he feels like he’s been written in a way that is…manipulative, I guess? The writers are trying so hard to make me think he’s so great and that just makes me want to dislike him. The few flaws he has are ‘positive flaws’ (overworks himself, doesn’t take care of his health, he’s stubborn and a know-it-all but he’s always right so it’s fine, apparently, these ‘flaws’ just serve as a way to get you to sympathize with him) they pretty much never provide a situation where he’s required to apologize for his actions. Rather the opposite, he was right all along so other characters have to apologize to him.

He does have some minor flaws (he’s a bit sexist, for example, and he just decides things for people and if they disagree he just dismisses them as stupid) but almost no one ever calls him out on them in canon in a satisfying way. Basically Tim is just always right all the time. Bad things happen to him, it’s never his fault, he can do no wrong. The CEO-Tim thing pretty much smacks of Gary-Stuness–even though I’m pretty sure Tim never actually was a CEO he was just responsible for Bruce’s voting shares on the board and it drives me crazy that this Tim being the CEO of WE myth is so widely perpetuated even though the idea of anyone making a 17 year old a CEO of a major company is stupid on every level and wouldn’t even happen in the comic world. Also he dropped out of school and then later they changed it that now he wants to go to go to college in Rebirth and now I’m just confused about what his personality is supposed to be. Tim is constantly billed to me as the ‘relatable’ Robin but I can’t relate to him at all. Which is fine…I guess. Apparently some people like him, I don’t want to take away from that, but I think these are just the reasons why his character is struggling to find an audience lately. I just don’t find him very interesting, myself.

Jason and Dick and Damian have really obvious issues where their flaws come back to shoot them in the foot time and again. Dick has a temper and holds grudges, and when he’s angry he unfairly takes it out on the people around him and cuts people out of his life at the drop of a hat to the point it’s a little ridiculous. Damian is so insecure that he tries to assert his superiority over everyone he meets, especially his ‘brothers’, and he jumps to bad conclusions because he lacks experience and is too self-assured. Jason is so distrustful of others he has almost no friends and frequently tests those around him to see if they are still loyal, and he is such a practical-thinker that he comes off as callous or lacking empathy. People give me/Jason-fans shit for liking someone who has made some choices that hurt people and make him seem like a bad person but I don’t get it because I like that about him. I don’t bitch about it or rag on him for it because I find those ‘issues’ to actually be positive things about him. These flaws make the other Robins interesting to me, that actually gives them somewhere to grow, and a place for me to look back at and say, wow look how far my baby has come!

For Tim, as far as I am concerned, he doesn’t actually grow in anything except maybe confidence or cynicism. Growing in confidence is alright, but he was pretty damn confident before to be honest, and he never really failed either (as far as I can think of), he had the guts to call out Batman and demand he get a new Robin in his earliest appearances and it worked, his confidence has basically never backfired to my knowledge. It never effected anyone but himself. The confidence storyline pretty much peaked in YJ and Teen Titans, I would say, and then it switched over to the edgey stuff after all his friends were killed off and Robin was given to Damian. After that he got more cynical. When you grow in cynicism, that is actually a downfall-storyline, that’s a villain-creation storyarc, but that didn’t happen either. They have been dabbling in it with various storylines, but if they ever went for it that would give Tim some actual flaws so the writers won’t commit.

I think Tim has potential to be interesting, but they just need to start making him wrong every once in a while. They need to stop making him the woobie in all of his stories. And they need to let him be bad at something or mess up in a way that is his fault. I feel like he has a sympathetic, interesting origin story. When I think of the person Tim should be based on his origins and upbringing I get a more satisfying picture than what the comics paint to me.

I think a lot of people are going to read this and disagree with me, or think I’m being unfair to Tim. I welcome that. If you have some points or comics that you think could change my mind, I’d like to read what you’ve got to say. But give actual evidence, okay? Comics panels, not just feelings. I would especially like to see people calling Tim out or Tim messing up big time in a way that is clearly his fault, because those are the kinds of things that might actually change my mind about him.

[starwarshyperdrive]

Predictions after seeing the D23 footage and reading too many stupid fan theories..again.

So now that the ‘special look’ has been out for a while and there are some alleged plot leaks on reddit, I think it’s time for to go over my predictions. Mostly to be able to say ‘I knew it’ and ‘I told you’ later on, because there is no chance in hell that Rey is just one many clones from Lukes hand or the emperor or any of the other wild theories that spread across the internet. And without pointing fingers or mentioning names, if you can’t even get minor (hint) details right and have a horrible track record, how do people still listen to you? Because you have a lot of subscribers on Youtube? Welcome to the Internet..

This might contain spoilers so be warned:

- Finn is not Landos son and Jannah is not his sister, because there are more than 3 black people in the galaxy you know. Star Wars might be about family, but not everyone is related. Palpatine was a bit ginger, that doesn’t make him Hux’ grandfather either.. Will we learn about Finns family. What for? What is there to gain story-wise. That’s something everyone coming upon with wild theories needs to ask themselves. 

- is Jannah (Naomi Ackie) Landos daugher? See above. Looking at the little evidence we have so far she has always been seen on a grassy planet, whereas Lando is known to have filmed Millennium Falcon and Pasaana scenes at a sound stage.  There are theories that the planets won’t be one biosphere, breaking with Star Wars tradition, so it’s still possible however unlikely that they are related. 

Just look at the pilots gloves and helmet. This isn’t the Millennium Falcon 

-  C-3POs red eyes. There are conflicting rumors about the cause, one being spiritual and the other being.. technical. I think it’s more likely that his eyes change color due to operational rather than ‘esoteric’ reasons. Also in relation to him being shown holding a bowcaster and Anthony Daniels telling Vanity Fair that ‘C-3PO does something in this movie that surprises everybody’.

- Red laser destroying snow planet. I assume that’s Kijimi where Zorri Bliss is located and where according to some plot leaks some altercation takes place. Looks like the First Order doesn’t fuck around.

- Rey training in the forest throwing her lightsaber is most likely connected to Leia standing in the same environment dropping some Jedi knowledge she got from Luke. I’m wondering what the red ribbon is about. I’m gonna get crazy and say it might be a blindfold. There is also a Jedi training droid present, so why wouldn’t she training ‘blind’ with it just like Luke did.  I’m gonna go out on a limb and propose something with a 5% likelihood of being true, but.. as is looks a bit as the red ribbon is also wrapped around the double bladed light saber ‘dark Rey’ is holding later on, so what if.. it’s something related to her parents and her ‘holding onto it’ is a dark side trait she needs to conquer. Star Wars is filled with symbolism and philosophical motifs like that. ‘Let go’ of your need to belong. Don’t dwell in the past. Even Maz told her ‘The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead.’. Could be that or��just a regular rag. Probably the latter, but it’s sure fun to theorize. #theorizeresponsibly

- Rey and Kylo fighting on what looks like the Death Star remains. I think a lot of people now tend to believe that JJ Abrams is bypassing The Last Jedi and continue his initial story, not ignoring the movie but positioning it as a detour for the characters to find themselves. And for once I agree what seems to be the consensus amongst Star Wars theorists. I think what we see here is not unlike the force flashes Rey had when she first touched the lightsaber. I can imagine them changing environment with every stroke of their lightsabers. That allows for a ‘best of Star Wars’ highlight reel, so desperately needed to reunite fans after the The Last Jedi backlash, that would combine all the previous movies. And that’s what they promised. 

- voiceover ‘your journey nears its end’. Is it just me or does it not sound like the emperor. I mean it sounds like Ian McDiarmid alright, but I’m missing the uber-evil timbre of his voice. Who is he talking to and will the emperor appear in this movie? First of all.. when we talk about tying together all the movies, we must not ignore the so called ‘tone poems’ used for The Phantom Menace. Based on that I’d say he isn't necessarily talking to anyone. Or even more recently, in The Force Awakens trailer they used Lukes ‘the force is strong in my family..’. So I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s just a distraction or to set the mood. My guess is that the emperors ‘spirit’ looms above everything and had the power to influence other people, just like depicted on the poster. There had been speculation about Snoke being some sort of Wizard of Oz early on. What if the wizard behind the wizard is actually worse. Wouldn’t that be wizard?

- Dark Rey. I will say one thing, I was happy to see that most fans immediately were like ‘dark side vision!’. If you read my earlier posts you will know how much I LOVE new lightsaber designs in every movie. Not. Especially when they are pointless. When I said I want a saber staff this is not what I mean. The only thing that makes me a bit skeptical is that Daisy Ridley said she was surprised that they’d show that scene in trailer. If it’s just a vision like the one Luke had, what’s the big deal? Then again, they also claimed that everyone will absolutely love the movie and especially the end. Enter wild fan theories from ‘she saw multiple reflections of herself in the cave. Clone Rey confirmed!!!11!!’ to ‘She must be Palpatines granddaughter’. I said it before and I’ll happily say it again. That would be SHIT STORYTELLING. After all the impatient smart-asses calling Rey a ‘Mary Sue’ not knowing anything about her origins, how would the public react to good old Palpatine having a granddaughter? That’s Robot Chicken level stupid. Now.. considering that an early draft of Revenge of the Sith had Palpatine telling Anakin that he ‘is his father’ for manipulating the midichlorians to create life, from a certain point of view that would make him Reys father IF he tried again. And it would fit much better into the established story structure of Star Wars. Every story that requires knowledge of the extended universe outside of movies or lengthy exposition will lead to casual fans and ordinary moviegoers to be like WTF?! It might be the last movie for a while but they still want people to go and not be appalled from early reviews about the movie being a convoluted clusterfuck. I also think the ‘clone’ idea is a cop out. Whenever you’re stuck because you can’t explain the origin of a character or don’t know how to deal with the death of a character - BAMM! Clone! Problem solved. That's just lazy. So to sum it up. Dark Rey? Vision of what she was supposed to be or should be because it backfired? ‘Darkness rises, and light to meet it. I warned my young apprentice that as he grew stronger, his equal in the light would rise.’ (Snoke)

- Sith Fleet / Sith Troopers ..those following the new canon even just a bit are already aware of the importance of the ‘Unknown Regions’. Its hard to miss references to it these days, from Galaxys Edge to Rebels. So how are they gonna explain this in the movie? From a storytelling point it makes sense. The empire was defeated and its remnants were hiding and regrouping. Hang on. This sounds like a job for OPENING CRAWL. OK, so there is a massive fleet. Maybe unrelated to the First Order, but looking pretty similar. Based on the state of the Resistance after the Last Jedi one might assume it’s not really needed. Does that mean we’re dealing with an internal struggle of sorts.There are persisting rumors of a high ranking First Order member leaking details to the Resistance, which doesn’t come as a surprise given Kylo Rens personality. Reminds be a bit of Operation Valkyrie. 

I’m delving deep into leaks and rumors but as things are now I have no idea how this pans out and what the relationship between Sith Trooper and First Order will be. Apparently you need a certain navigational device to be able to make it to the Unknown Regions, so my guess is Kylo is looking for more knowledge/power there just like Palpatine did, the rest is pure speculation so I will leave it for another time when more details surface. Same goes for stuff that’s not directly related to the ‘D23 Special View’ such as ‘who is Zorri Bliss?’.

[miraclesnail]

When your primary ship in a big fandom are crackpairs or rarepairs 😞

And for PJO that has to be Will/Travis and I wrote a fanfic on how I think their dynamic will work! rather than study for microbiology like a good student 

 [Travis]

Travis Stoll. Son of Hermes. Head Counselor. A prankster. Can pickpocket and steal like no other, a prodigy in that sense. 

A decent swordsman. 

A slightly above average bowsman. 

And absolutely incapable of being remotely serious. 

Even when the situation direly calls for it. Even on the verge of death, is too lax. Even seconds away from passing out, got to get one last joke in. Even when I’m about to nag his ears off for being too careless, will nod attentively with a stupid, stupid grin and do the stupid, stupid thing again. 

Ask me what I find attractive about Travis, and I’ll definitely say its not his unhealthy love for pranks. His desire for some ‘fun in his very boring life as a yearrounder’ sometimes (most times) bringing only pain and misery and even acrimony. And even though he apologizes, the very next day he’s doing it again. 

Travis doesn’t learn. Not from lectures. Not from mistakes. Not from him or Chiron. Only Connor can change his behaviors (and Connor doesn’t. Connor only just encourages and pushes Travis to go further by bringing Travis’s ideas to fruition.)

Travis is tactless. He jokes around when no one should be and he says stuff that never needs to be said. ‘No, Travis, you shouldn’t be joking about how Clarisse is a chicken for not wanting to enter the labyrinth again. And you shouldn’t be joking about your dead half-brother actually being Olympus’s savior when he was the one to start it all. And you really shouldn’t be joking about breaking into the camp store in such precise detail when Chiron is right there.’ But he still does it. 

Travis is careless too. How does someone set landmines on the wrong hill? Seriously? When there are only so many hills at camp? And that time during the 2nd titan war when he wanted to raid a candy store, who the heck thinks of such things in the middle of a freaking war?! I wonder sometimes how he made it this far in life with his attitude. Maybe it’s his brother. Connor’s (only slightly) more level headed than Travis. 

But even though Travis can be too casual at times, and too careless, and his morals sometimes delve too much into the grey, he’s a kind friend and a kind brother.

He likes to have fun. To live life to the fullest. To laugh and smile as much as he possibly can. To never waste a second regretting the past. Even when some of his pranks backfire on him or when he gets caught and cursed, he doesn’t dwell on it for too long. I met people who said they don’t look in the past, but Travis is the only one I know who commits to it. Snide comments. Unkind gestures. The Sneering and taunting he’ll get from other campers simply for being Luke’s half-brother back during the Second Titan War. He really doesn’t linger on any of that even though it gets my blood boiling. 

He doesn’t hold a grudge towards any of them and that’s admirable. If it was me, I would have made them beg for my forgiveness, maybe made them do some of my side chores. It grates on my nerves whenever I recall those years. The fact that he refused Luke even though he’s his brother, even though almost all of his siblings followed Luke, even though he knows first hand how neglectful the gods are, Travis still refused. That counts for something. 

Travis is also stupidly powerful. I don’t know anyone who can get into so much trouble yet still find a way out. 90% of the time, he gets away with his pranks because nobody can prove he and Connor set it up. That takes skills. He once moved live mines from Ares cabin to the other side of camp. Not anyone can just move landmines but he somehow did. 

He has a soft side too. It’s not really hidden, but it’s not really apparent either. I can see it whenever he welcomes a new camper to his cabin. Or whenever he says goodbye to a newly claimed camper. Although I find it debatable when Travis teaches his cabinmates how to beat anyone at poker, he truly offers them a home in his cabin. 

And whenever he tried to teach me how to pickpocket or how to lie with a straight face or even shoot an arrow, he’s so patient. Even though I am so bad at it, he doesn’t laugh or make fun of me. He doesn’t give up on me even though I never make progress. 

I try. 

I really, truly do try to aim, but after years of faulted attempts, most people give up on me. Even Chiron did eventually. But Travis would still follow me to the archery range. Travis would still be in the same room as me as everyone else hurries to leave. Travis would still stay as my arrows go everywhere but the bullseye. Travis would still give me advice. Travis would still follow me again the next day even if I utterly failed today. 

“It’s okay,” he would say calmly as an arrow thunk a centimeter to the right of his knee cap, “You don’t have to be perfect at everything you do.”

I’ll admit, Travis worries me some time with how carefree he can be and he may be morally gray at times, but when it comes down to it, he just wants people to know life is fun. 

And I guess that’s what I like about him.

 [Will]

Will Solace.

What can I say about the Will Solace? He’s a son of Apollo. He’s blond. He has blue eyes. And he can be a total prick, but I guess that’s what draws me to him. 

Will is talented at so many things, but he also sucks at many things. 

Do you all know Will is very bad at thievery? Pickpocketing, lockpicking, even just lying or fibbing, he’s bad at it all. He can’t keep a straight face and will starts talking faster and faster and faster. It’s adorable. He’s so honest and righteous, I don’t know why he ever liked someone as dishonest and shifty as me. 

Back during the battle in Manhattan when I volunteered to get some medical supplies, Will actually told me to leave money. Who the heck thinks about businesses when we’re right smack in the middle of the battle of the century? Will Solace, that’s who. Only Will Solace.

Oh, and Will is bad at being… what’s the word? Compassionate? Kind? Merciful? Sympathetic! He’s not very sympathetic when it is absolutely needed. He’s blunter than unsharpen pencils. Normally, he’s a chill person but if someone is being bullheaded, out comes his fangs. He says what he thinks even though he doesn’t know the full picture. When he told Nico di Angelo that the camp’s dislike of him was all in his head, I wanted to wince. I know Will means well but he didn’t had Nico living in his cabin for a couple of months. 

People were scared of him. People did avoid him. Maybe nobody outright confronted him, but they all certainly gave him a lot of space. When it was game night, only Connor or I would partner up with him. It wasn’t all in his head. 

Will is that way with everybody. 

Luckily for me, I have skin made of titanium. Years of pranking and getting caught and suffering the worst humiliation I ever can has made me immune to all criticizations. 

“Travis, you’re never going to make friends if you piss everybody off with your pranks. Travis you can’t keep using comedy as your coping mechanism for everything. Travis, stop bottling everything up and talk to someone.” 

I admit Will can be pushy and forward, but his heart is in the right place. He just has an indelicate way of showing it. 

Will is also awful at archery. He’s remarkably bad actually. It’s one of the few things he’s insecure about. He can be surprisingly fragile when it comes to that. Hours of training and nothing comes out of it. I feel like when Apollo was deciding what to gift Will in, rather than distribute it evenly across healing, archery, music and prophetic abilities, Apollo just shove all he can into healing. 

Maybe that’s why Will is so great in his medic role. He is the best healer of this millennia. I don’t know how his whole healing power works but it’s crazy taxing on him. And the more monster related the wound is, the more power it takes to heal it. He almost passed out trying to heal Annabeth back in Manhattan. You would think Will the health fanatic, the perpetual worrywart, the ‘If you shadow travel one more time, I’m going to seriously handcuff my arm to yours’ Will Solace would limit himself. But no. The guy goes and goes till he gets the job done. Either the person is healed or he passes out. 

I wish he wouldn’t do that. 

I wish he knows it’s okay to not be 100% perfect. 

Will tries more than anyone I know. I would have given up archery after a month of training and no improvement. Just write it off as a lack of talent, you know? But not Will. He goes and goes till his fingers are blistered and his arms ache. 

Will is incredible sort of in that way. He’s incredibly hardworking. He’s incredibly ethical. And he’s incredibly nice. 

Will genuinely cares for everyone. Even for someone like Octavian who was seconds away from destroying our home. I’m kind of ashamed to admit this but I would have let Octavian go. I might have even lighted the cannon myself if given the chance. Because if it was Octavian's life over my brother’s, over my siblings, over my friends, over Will’s, I wouldn’t hesitate. 

Will is genuinely nice, remarkably nice, even to someone like me, to someone like Octavian, to the point I worry if he’ll be taken advantage of. 

But his unconditional kindness is what I like about him.

(Tell me what you think! Good, bad, okay, down to hell, up to heaven, or just plain nothing. I’m okay with it all.)

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

Chats

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(The Curious Case Of Shadow Lives: Or How I Learned To Love The Bomb (LOL)

Crowley gets too distracted in my head - I dont know why.

Grey’s thinking that if Crowley wants him to have a spine then he has to deal with Grey being disobedient

“That’s fine, so long as he also stamps down on his pets disobedience”   frioedkrf I thought you left!  Tell Crowley to stop calling Jo ‘Grey’s pet’ to her face to try and upset her and Grey.

Grey’s never going to be outright lording over Jo

He’s really not. Though I think everyone else expects Jo to be doing it to him…

Except for Shada.

And Crowley. And DJ.

Shada’s puzzled why he neither treats her like a pet or food

She still doesnt get it?

Nope

…She getting /any/ warmer?

Not really.  Even if she measure his feelings for Jo to her feelings for Gray she’d be confused since she wants to boss Gray around

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Well, maybe she should view Grey as Gray in that situation and what would she expect from Gray in terms of feelings if he were to return hers?

Devotion, loyalty, providing her with babies, probably not a good comparison

….. *gets stuck on the third one* …how… uh… does she think male humanbodied things are like seahorses?

No she’d expect him to ditch the meatsuit

…And then…  …..Jo is now asking how shadows even reproduce, because she knows Grey and Gray’s thing is 'not normal’ - not that she.. well now she’s disturbed at the thought of Gray being Grey’s child so someone needs to explain to her quickly.

LOL they have little litters.  Not having an actual gender means any shadow can get pregnant with the right circumstances as long as there is one more dominant and one more submissive

Jo is now picturing them as seahorses herself. …And wants to know if litters is like the 4-6 of puppies and kittens, or the many more like other animals and is surprisingly interested in this topic.

6-12 because how else would there be so many so fast?  And they dont really take care of the little spawn just let them run around and do whatever

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…… “So like turtles…or spiders… or frogs?”

Yes

Intruiging.  Are shadows more on the mate-for-life end of things or the highly polygomous-bordering-on-mass-orgy type of species?

Polygomous although the dominant ones would like their mates to be monogamous without being monogamous themselves.

So pretty much - what Gray wants from a relationship is the general dominant outlook?

Yes

It also showed with Grey’s attitude at the beginning

That’s true - cocky little bastard he was. XD

*nods*

And the submissive ones actually want..?

To be allowed to run around as much as the dominant ones which makes for problems.

…so shadow 'relations’ aren’t exactly the most functional of all of them…

Nope

Another exmple of how Grey goes against the shadow-grain, or would he still want to do that if it wouldn’t cause problems at all..?

He wouldnt want to do that anymore he’s sort of… Now that there’s the idea of it being meaningful and love and everything that’s what he wants

So if there wasn’t a chance for whatever relationship he was in being meaningful and having love and everything would he?     And on the flip, does he think that that’s what he’s got now, or is going to get to?

Nope.  Grey doesnt want to be the one stuck with someone that’s not taking it seriously, he’d just call it off.  He does that that that’s what he and Jo have just not quite on the romantic level yet.

*nodnod* Sounds like him. while Gray would like it if he was able to have a monogmous girlfriend but screw about (or be free to), right?    Makes sense, and is true.

Definitely Gray would love that.

It’s sort of amusing how little Gray has ever actually screwed around though..

He didnt really have a lot of options.  I mean Jo wanted nothing to do with him, he didnt want Crowley, and he doesnt want to screw something he’d normally kill

So basically, if Jo didn’t want nothing to do with him that would have been his choice if he could get away with it without having Anna be crazy?

Yep

…how do they know whose the dominant one and the submissive one, or are there very like clearcut lines of which would be which in their species?

(Whats funny is most of these are coming from Jo but in more just half words.. she’s honestly curious about the shadows.. >_>)

Never clear cut lines.  Take Shada and Gray for example, she wants to be dominant.  He naturally is dominant.  Problems arise.

In their measure of things, or if he was still oeprating under their views of things, which would Grey be more likely? And does that mean Shada would be less dominant even though she wants to be and could be in different circumstances?

Grey’d be the submissive.  He was with Crowley he kind of is with Jo it’s just his nature.  Yes?  I’m not sure what exactly you mean

*nodnod* Makes sense.   …Im not sure what exactly I mean either.

Did you mean she could dial it back?  Because she really could she just doesnt want to

I think I meant that between her and Gray, she’d be the submissive one, but with other shadows she could possibly be the dominant one?

Oh.  Well yeah.

*nodnod* Makes sense

…Jo thats not a question I’m going to ask…mainly because I’m not sure anyone has a real answer for that nor do they want to think about it.

Share

“How do they even… … …..yeah”  was the exact phrasing of it

Well let’s put it this way, don’t think about it

I’m not but from the twitching I think she’s trying to.

Oh god no.  Jo dont it’ll break your brain

I cant tell if she was asking how they mate or how they birth, and I cant tell which would be worse

She doesnt need to think about it

Like I say, she’s curious. Though why doesnt she need to? *eggs her on seeing if she’ll turn purple*

Because unless she wants to see it she shouldnt worry?

…yep nope, I dont think she wants to see it. At all.    …Again Jo, not asking that…

Share

….she had a sudden influx of questions including: have any of them actually had 'kids’ or whatever the offspring is called (that’s more at Shada and Grey), how weird is the way of human sex in comparrison, and then she’s just still for some unknown reason trying to think about it but as abstractly as possihle and its making everyone laugh at her

I’d go with spawn and Grey and Shada do not have any.  Grey’s saying it’s not that weird once you get used to the aspect that everythingis physical in a human body and then he’s telling her to stop thinking about it and Shada’s inviting her to watch if she wants to know when she “eventually” gets Gray

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30 min til I g2g btw

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The cheerful “Like frogs!” at the word spawn is all kinds of wrong, DJ.  So theirs isn’t just a physical thing? Because they dont really have bodies per say.   ….Jo is declining Shada’s invitation. Completely. Because no.   Thoughnowshe'soverthinkingthewords'notthatweird'and I’m just going to go bury my head in the sand.

Thats cool, I probs need to go then too

Nope they dont have physical bodies how could it be a physical thing.  And Grey’s saying everything is weird at first getting a meatsuit then later it becomes not weird.  Is she happy now?

Too true, too true.   ….yes? A little petulantly, but yes. You were asking Jo, don’t get weird - plus you know its true and completely rational.

Grey’s facepalming and kicking himself because that’s so not what he meant

Yeah she knows that, doesn’t mean she didn’t take it wrong for a split second originally. He doesn’t need to kick himself, Jo’s just an idiot and she fully agrees that she is.

LOL she’s adorable.

She’s a dumbass.    Again Jo Im no- you’re just going to tell me to share anyway so Im going to save us both some time and let Jo ask her stupidly stupid question about which would either the boys say is more enjoyable from what they have heard since they …haven’t(?).. experienced said shadowsex (*trolls and backfires on self* urgh brain I dont want to think about it)

“Physical.” That was Gray for course.  His opinion matches Grey but for different reasons.

Of course that was Gray - guessing his reason is because it gives more control and/or means its easier to control? What’s Grey’s?     *shaking head at Jo that that was a question at all*

Grey’s is that he’d never be able to have the kind of relationship he wants at all with shadows

Did you send Jenna the thing?

*nodnod* Makes sense

And then Jo and Anna+Lilith abstractly discuss the binding or unbinding of Gray:

Esplode in 4… 3… 2…. 1

Anna’s..just not dealing with it right now..

she’s going to go and lay down and she’s going to not think about anything

Awww

Jo’s just like “She’ll get over it”

no..I don’t think she is

she’s..pretty much putting Jo on Grey’s level right now

…Fun times. Well, Jo’s not going to let that bother her. Anna wouldn’t bind down Gray to let Grey get back his powers if the positions were flipped, so Jo doesnt think she /has/ to in the name of friendship either. She’s also thinking that maybe Anna needs to remember that Gray’s /dangerous/ to the whole world and that she was making it out like it was unreasonable for a /hunter/ to NOT want a

dangerous monster being able to do stuff.

So Jo’s kind of like “…meh”

(sent to Lexy)

Lilith would like to point out that C rowley never said to break the ones on Grey that Gray woud have to be rebound…

True, but the only ones Jo or Grey would be okay with breaking are the feeding ones, maybe the baby surpresent ones, and that would be all of them

so ..then they are actively willing to let Gray stay  bound

Grey would want all of his other powers intact, and Jo refuses to take away protective means from Grey.

If it means grey gets bound

…………….

no Lilith they aren’t listening to you

Hell.. Grey’d be 'okay’ with them if Jo didnt have to carve them into him

Thats what the problem with the feeding one is - that Jo has to hurt Grey to do it and Grey won’t stand for that.

LOL What’s lilith saying?

“Let me explain this in simple little words for the blond ditz…”

“Go for it”

“1. Carve up Grey. 2. Break them on Gray. 3. turn around and break them again on Grey.”

“Got cha. And still. The hurting thing is the problem. Not the actual binding.”

“THEY HEAL!”

that was anna screaming

not lilith

LOL Jo’s saying that’s not the point.

now Anna’s wanting to go a bit postal

It’s the actively harming the other for the sake of Gray - Grey wouldn’t mind actually having a few of his things surpressed, honestly, it’s that Jo has to carve them that’s the issue.

and Lilith is now rolling laughing at her not being the one in the closet

yes she has

Honestly if Jo didn’t have to carve him up - Jo’d have thought of that and suggested it to Grey, at least the ones he’d be interested in and put forth a case of why she’d want to release a few of the other ones (the shadow trapping, moving about and ability to switch meatsuits (but not healing)) on the condition she came and refreed those on him after.

And Anna’s very black and white about Gray, isnt she?

And things when it comes to him.

more..

it’s fucking Grey..who gives a shit..the fucker ccan heal once they are broken again, it’s like a day of pain for them..stupid ass good for nothing waste of space trash..

LOL

If she were in Jo’s position and the situation was flipped - would she be willing to do that for Grey? Bind down Gray for a day.

For Jo..if it meant helping her more than Grey..yes

Even if Gray said 'fuck no’?

And would completely walk out on her for doing it?

it would depend..

On?

and Grey will get over it she says..he’s to co dependant to stay mad for long and Harry’s still straight

LOL But Gray wouldnt get over that sort of breach of trust, and Grey’s barely gotten over Jo just ironing him for a few minutes.

she says she would try harder than Jo to convince Gray to let her help

Jo’s got no way /to/ convince Grey though - he hates Gray, he hates Anna even more, he gets absolutely nothing out of it and gets someone he trusts tearing apart his back for a few hours or more. Jo can’t think of any positives she could give.

“How about because Anna is my friend and you love me?”

“Wouldn’t work. Probably be morre successful not mentioning Anna at all, saying it’d make me happier and less stressed and get me away from Gray quicker, and I’m not going to use that last bit against someone as to why they should do something I ask.”

Gray doesnt actually hate Grey, and he certainly doesnt hate Jo. He’d be more willing to bend than Grey would. Grey hates Anna more than he hates Gray at the moment

“how about then..you do that for them and then you can hold that over their head for the rest of their life..that /you/ saved them.”

“Doubt that would work. But it’s worth a try”      My theory is if Gray could talk to Grey about it he could point out that /Gray/ saved /Jo’s/ life and that either she or Grey owes him.

And she says worth a try, but I doubt she would right now.

lol

“do it for them or Jo goes on Anna’s hit list?”

LOL  "Figured I already was. And it’s not like Grey’s scared of Anna or protecting me"

do it or the starwars collection get it?

….Youre suggesting Jo threatens one of /her/ prized posessions? XD

lol

do it or no more sex?

Again, punishing Jo more probably

Do it or Lilith moves in with you?

…. LMAO Oh lord

*crying*

Lilith just wants to come and play with them doesnt she? /troll

lol she’s just like *shrug* can’t be worse than living with Anna

Lol probably cant be actually

lol

do it or Anna makes a deal with Ruby for Jo to spend the next 10 years popping out kids..

lmao Again, pretty sure thats punishing Jo more

eventually Jo will say fuck it and do it herself to prevent that

I know

do it or Anna moves in with you

LOL Anna’d be dead by the end of a day.   though seemingly, Grey is wanting Jo to put up anti-angel protections around the house

[bloody-bee-tea]

AU thing--Deter with soulmates and amnesia.

1. Peter has known Derek was his soulmate since the moment the boy was born. Derek knows it too, because Peter did tell him, and he’s not stupid. So he would have figured it out on his own eventually.

2. Peter is hesitant to do anything. In his eyes Derek is still a baby, a toddler, a small child, and Peter doesn’t dare being anything to him other than the supportive uncle for now. He has plans for the day Derek turns legal. Derek keeps hoping that might change, he hopes when he turns fourteen, fifteen and then sixteen, but Peter never makes a move.

3. Kate is convenient. Very convenient. Derek figures he can use Kate to make Peter jealous, to finally get him to act on the attraction and love between them, but it backfires in the most spectacular way on him. Sure, he comes home smelling like Kate, and he does see Peter’s eyes flash in rage, but when his family burns, when Peter burns, Derek can’t even remember why he thought this was worth it.

4. Peter’s bad. He isn’t quite comatose, but he’s also not really responsive. The doctors tell him and Laura that it’s most likely due to his soulmate bond. If Peter didn’t have that, he would be dead.

5. Laura wants to leave. Peter doesn’t react to them and Laura doesn’t feel safe. Derek tells her where she can stick it, because he’s not going to leave his soulmate behind.

6. When Peter responds to someone almost a year later, it quickly turns out he doesn’t remember a thing. He doesn’t remember being a werewolf, or who and where he is, and he doesn’t remember Derek or that they are soulmates.

7. Derek takes a day to cry his eyes out before he decides this might be for the best. Peter never wanted him, and Derek’s love did nothing but hurt Peter, so this might be a way for Peter to start new. Derek’s name on him was burned off, so he won’t ever know. It’s fine.

8. Still, Derek stays. Peter is family after all and he needs someone to explain the werewolf thing to him. When Peter asks who he is to him, Derek tells him they are distant relatives and Derek came in to get Peter back on his feet. He’s glad Peter hasn’t figured out how to detect lies yet.

9. It takes almost half a year, but eventually Peter remembers. He remembers everything before the fire, and he remembers everything after and when he realizes that Derek lied to him, told him they were barely even related, barely even knew each other before the fire, he wished he didn’t. He’s not sure anything ever hurt quite as much as knowing that his soulmate didn’t want him.

10. When Derek drops by to check in on Peter that day, Peter tells him that he doesn’t need to. He remembers now, and he gets why Derek might not want him, but he can’t stand having Derek around like this. He’ll be fine. Derek can leave.

11. Derek doesn’t want to leave, though he doesn’t know how to put it into words.

12. They have a big fight when Derek stubbornly keeps coming around day after day. Peter might not want him, but he will not abandon him either. Peter is not amused.

13. He yells at him to just leave, get the fuck out like he so clearly intended when he lied to Peter about their relationship and Derek almost laughs in his face because what relationship? The one where Peter apparently never wanted Derek in the first place? Or the one where Derek was so angry with Peter for not wanting him back that he got their whole family burned?

14. It takes Peter a minute or ten to digest all of that, because the only thing he ever wanted to do was keep Derek safe, and to not force something on him he might not want, especially at that age. He had plans of whisking Derek away as soon as he turned eighteen and he tells Derek as much.

15. He also makes damn sure that Derek knows that Kate wasn’t his fault. She was crazy and wanted them dead and she would have found a way, even without Derek. It’s not his fault.

16. It takes them both some time to get used to the idea that the other might want them back, and they take it slow. They go on dates, the court and it takes them almost three months to kiss for the first time.

17. After that it’s like a dam has been broken. They act like they have been married for decades, all comfortable and familiar with each other, and both never thought they might end up this happy.

[jeminy3]

Setbacks

Summary: Ed and friends are delayed from leaving Rush Valley for a day. Ling takes the opportunity to make a strange arrangement, and Ed finds himself roped into it somehow. Things get kinda gay.... but more awkward than anything else, really.

Features: swearing, groaning, underage alcohol consumption, coercion, dubcon (but it's for chaste kissing that never actually happens), some deep thinking about feelings and orientation that goes unsolved and ignored, because Edward is Edward.

Finally... Here's a fic that was originally part of a very long, convoluted edling fic series I've been slowly working and re-working for about 2 years now. This was originally a flashback that an adult Ed had while visiting Emperor Ling's palace, but it got really long and more of its own thing. the drinking section was my first piece of writing that tried to really nail their dynamic when they first met.

this is one of a few fics i have that are slightly canon-divergent like this for the sake of shipping, and probably won't be directly related, but could be interpreted that way.

no drawings for this one, I am… just not feeling it this time, sorry lol

Read on Google Docs

Read on AO3

---

"Delayed???" But it's urgent!"

"So is the need for safety. The repairmen are working as fast as they can, I assure you. But even if they finish within the day, we need the extra time to make sure it's safe. I'm sorry. The train will be up and running at first light tomorrow morning, I promise."

Ed groans dramatically, letting his head fall back. Fucking great. A broken train engine was just what they fucking needed right now, when they needed to get back to Central as soon as possible.

He lets his head fall forwards again as he lets out a long sigh, then stares at the toes of his boots, searching them for ideas. He gets one.

In one swift motion, he tugs on the chain at his belt, pops his engraved pocketwatch out of his pants and into his open hand, flashing it at the train conductor in front of him.

"Edward Elric, State Alchemist. Lemme at the problem and I can fix it in seconds."

He also flashes a glare up at Alphonse, which silences whatever protest he was about to make, as telegraphed by the sound of his armor shifting at Ed's side.

The middle-aged conductor's eyes go wide. "State Alchemist? Oh-"

Then something crosses his countenance, and his brows furrow. "-Wait. I've heard of an Alchemist in town."

Yes. Ed can almost feel himself sparkling. "-You've heard of me? I mean, of course, I'm known through the whole country, I'm The Fullmeta-

The man cuts in suddenly. "-I heard that he tore up most of the market strip near downtown earlier today, part of some crazy battle with some kind of ninja warrior. Even leveled a building or two. The locals are furious."

A long, tired sigh from Alphonse doesn't go unheard.

Ed's jaw's gone slack. He... didn't expect this idea to backfire.

He struggles to get it working again. "I- Uh- Y-yes, that was- I mean, it was an accident! All of it! The ninja- I mean, the guy who hired that ninja's responsible! If that idiot-prince hadn't-"

He's interrupted as the man extends an arm to place his open palm directly in front of Ed's face. "I don't have time for a story, kid. The point is, we're taking care of the problem already, and I doubt you'd be much help. Do you even know anything about how trains work?"

Ed stammers his protests again, still in disbelief that this wasn't working. "I- No- I mean, no I don't, but I can-"

Too late. The man's already crossing his arms in front of his chest and shaking his head. "Didn't think so. Leave this to us. You've done enough."

"-Um. I'm an automail mechanic, if that helps?" The light, airy voice of Winry suddenly chirps up at Ed's other side. He looks over to see her gingerly raising her hand like she's in a fucking school or something.

The man's expression lightens significantly as he addresses her. "That's kind of you Miss, but I'm afraid train mechanics and automail mechanics are two entirely different beasts. You wouldn't be much help either, but I appreciate it."

Winry withdraws her hand to lightly touch her chin, looking dejected. "Oh. Well, okay..."

God, she was too fucking nice for her own good sometimes.

The disapproving, scowling expression returns as the man faces Ed again. "There's an inn down the street you can stay at 'till morning," he says, jabbing a thumb in its direction. "Unless you plan on wrecking more of the town, I'd recommend staying there."

Ed's already turning away and started walking, clearly defeated. "Yeah yeah, thanks. See ya later, or something..."

Then when he's a few paces away, he adds "...fuckin' asshole," under his breath.

"Don't be mean, Ed, he's just doing his job," Winry scolds as she keeps pace with him.

"-And you did cause a pretty big mess earlier. I don't blame him for being distrustful," Alphonse adds, clunking along behind him.

Ed just groans again, caught between an armored rock and hard-headed place who were both right about this, he just didn't want to admit it because he was still very fucking pissed at the person who really started this whole stupid mess, as far as he was concerned.

-And here's the shithead now, he thinks to himself, as Ling comes into view in front of him, sitting on a bench but with his legs crossed like he's still on the ground (fucking why). He's smiling merrily as they approach, the way he apparently always does, as if he's an innocent shit-eating lamb or something.

"So what happened?" he asks.

Ed barely spares him a glance as he walks right by him, curtly saying, "Train's broken. Staying at the inn. Leaving in the morning. Fuck you."

And he's a good several paces down the street as the sounds of Ling's confusion and Al and Winry's collective sighing carry down to him.

---

Ed would've loved to just sit and stew in his room until nightfall, but as usual Winry and Alphonse had to be all sensible and shit and suggest that they at least stock up on extra supplies while they're stuck here. And of fucking course, Ling agreed to it.

So here he was. Edward Elric, renowned State Alchemist, dragged down to a local market to help carry fucking groceries. As if this day could get any worse.

At least it was a smaller, farm-based market in a different part of Rush Valley, so not every townsperson who recognized him was throwing scowls at him because of the fighting earlier that day. And that barely counted as a plus.

Winry was off buying something girly like extra lugnuts or something, while Alphonse was nearby picking up extra food and supplies in preparation for whatever craziness awaited them after they landed back in Central. Ling...

Actually, he didn't know where the fuck Ling was. And he didn't care. He could fuck off for all he-

"Hey! Hey, Alchemist! Look what I've found!"

Speak of the devil. Ed groans, for the third time now, as he turns in the direction of Ling's stupid voice.

Past the thinning crowd in front of him, Ed sees Ling standing in front of a stall selling various wines and spirits, both arms raised above him, his hands clutching two square-ish bottles filled with a clear, light-orange fluid. Their labels are red and gold and peppered with lettering, both in Amestrian and a foreign, symbol-based language that Ed guesses must be Xingese.

Despite himself, Ed decides to approach him and ask, "What're those?"

"Rice wine! Doesn't look as good as the stuff back home, but I think it'll suffice," Ling says, with that stupid grin he seems to make when he's excited about something equally stupid. God, he wished he could punch him. Just knock his stupid teeth right out of his stupid smiling face. Unfortunately he couldn't, not with his hands full with their group's bags, much less within sight of Ling's bodyguards who were always watching from... somewhere. That was really unnerving...

Meanwhile, Ed says nothing in response to Ling's statement besides an uninterested grunt.

He wants to say something like, 'What's so fucking great about Xingese wine? It's all the same, just alcohol and shit,' but keeps his mouth shut, for once - a rare occurrence. He wasn't sure if he was suddenly getting wiser about his temper, or was just exhausted from dealing with Ling for the past several hours. Probably the latter.

No, definitely the latter, he concludes, as Ling proceeds to stuff the bottles of wine between the bags of groceries Ed's holding before running off into the crowd, leaving him with bottle-tops pushing into his face and chin as he awkwardly maneuvers himself to actually pay the stall owner for the drinks. The woman gives him a look that clearly says Sorry you're with dealing with this as she waves him goodbye, and Ed says "Thanks" to her as sincerely as he can for it.

Then he's back to following Ling and the others around the market with his cargo like a fucking pack mule, still quietly fuming.

God, Ling was such an asshole. He said he was a prince, right? Wasn't he rich or something? 'Cause he seemed like just an annoying freeloader more than anything else, expecting Ed to pay for everything, even his fucking meals.

Ed tries to keep his mind preoccupied as he goes through the motions to pay for the rest of their group's purchases and follow them back to the Inn on his already-aching legs. Mainly, by thinking about how he could find a good excuse to punch Ling in the face after they settled down tonight. Because boy, if he could, that'd definitely be something to look forward to.

He imagines, in detail, his clenched automail fist hiking back, shooting out, connecting with Ling's smooth, princely cheek. Distorting it as it kept surging forward, warping and displacing the flesh of his face, his jaw skewing to the point of breakage, his nice white teeth flying loose from his gums in a spray of blood and saliva. Ahh. So satisfying.

But at one point Ed gets so lost in thought about this that he's started staring at Ling's actual face, who was walking at his side and slightly ahead of him. And now he's... staring right back at him.

Well he was, until he looked ahead of him- No, he's glancing back at Ed again and- oh, ugh. Not only is Ling smiling at him in that stupid smiley way he always does, but now he's winking at him too. GOD.

That's more than enough to snap Ed out of his daydreaming in time to very quickly look down at his feet and focus completely on walking on the dirt roads and not on his burning ears. He hears Ling snickering softly, and starts thinking about somehow getting the ground beneath him to open up and swallow him whole.

As if he couldn't hate Ling any more than before. He was definitely getting back at him tonight. The only question was, how...?

---

Once he'd found him and Al's room for the night and set down their supplies, Ed almost had a mind to just flop into bed and try to forget about Ling and everything altogether until the next morning - but alas, fate had decided otherwise.

Because before he'd even finished setting down his things, he was unpleasantly surprised by the sound of Ling's voice coming from the room's doorway.

"Hey, Alchemist!"

His cheery voice aimed at Ed's backside makes him bristle like a porcupine, and Ed almost wishes he could shoot quills out of his ass like one too. He doesn't even turn to face him.

"I have a name, asshole," Ed mutters over his shoulder as he sets down his last bag.

Ling ignores that, as usual. "I have a proposition for you, before you settle in for the night."

Ed decides to turn and face him, bringing the full force of his scowl at him. "The hell do you want? I'm tired."

Ling was sporting another of his stupid grins, and- oh, for fuck's sake- he had those wine bottles again too.

"How about a chat and a few drinks? Just me and you, in my room."

Um. Seriously? A 'chat' with some drinks? That... was the biggest waste of time he's heard yet. Not to mention shady as fuck, coming from this guy.

"No," Ed says tersely.

Ling's smile doesn't falter. "Aw c'mon! Just to talk and loosen up a bit before bed-"

"No."

"We can get to know each other better-"

"No."

"I assure you, I haven't poisoned the-"

"NO."

Ling's smile had finally crumbled into a confused frown. "...Are you always this unpleasant?"

Ed breathes a long sigh through his nose, as if trying to get steam to come out. "Yes, now can you please fuck off so I can go to slee-"

"Hey brother, what's going on?"

Suddenly they're interrupted by Alphonse's large frame clunking into view behind Ling. Ling turns to him, only mildly surprised, then moves aside to let him into the room.

Al bows lightly at him before stepping inside. "Hello, Ling. Thank you."

Once he's inside, he turns to Ed. "Winry's good for tonight. So, what are you yelling at Ling about?"

Ed groans, now the fourth time. "I'm not yelling at him Al, I'm just-" He stops himself, pinches the bridge of his nose with one hand to gather his thoughts. "Ugh. Ling's just being annoying and won't let me go to fucking bed."

Ling feigns a look of hurt. "I am not! I was just extending a friendly invitation for drinks and a chat, that's all!"

Ed musters up a venomous glare at him in response. As usual, it doesn't faze him.

Al looks between the two of them for a moment, noticing the wine bottles in Ling's hands. "Oh, is that all? That sounds nice! Why don't you take him up on it, brother? It's not that late, y'know - you don't fall asleep 'till later anyway."

Ed, disbelieving of what he's hearing from his younger brother right now, reaches whine-levels of complaining now. "But Al, I don't want to-"

But as soon as he starts, Al suddenly leans down by his ear, dropping his voice to a murmur.

"Just play along, ok? See if you can get him to tell us more about Alkehestry."

Ed blinks at him. "But-"

"Just do it, okay? Okay."

Alphonse is... very assertive tonight for some reason.

He turns back to Ling before letting Ed voice any further complaints. "I think Ed's actually pretty open to your idea, Ling. He just needs a bit more encouragement." He accentuates the word with a heavier-than-needed pat on Ed's shoulder with one of his gauntlets.

"Oh- really?" Ling says, looking far too much like a happy little dog finally getting a treat.

"I know my brother can be... well, abrasive, but I think deep down he wants to give it a chance! Don't you, brother?"

Al hasn't relinquished his grip on Ed's shoulder, and presses ever so slightly harder on it as he turns to look at him again, and Ed swears he can see him winking somehow.

"Just as long as you don't overdo it with the wine, of course. You guys need to be sober for our trip tomorrow morning."

Ling nods with annoying enthusiasm. "Oh, of course! I wouldn't dream of inebriating your brother, especially not for something important like that-"

By now, their conversation had faded into background noise as Ed becomes lost in the dawning realization of Holy Fucking Shit I Cannot Believe This is Happening, I Cannot Fucking Believe  That My Little Brother, Of ALL People, is Forcing Me to Hang Out and Drink With the Most Annoying Fucking Person in the Entire Goddamn World-

-Wait.

All these mentions of drinking and inebriation suddenly makes something click in Ed's mind. If Ling was trying to get him drunk - and he hadn't believed his words for a solitary second because that was totally what this whole thing was about - maybe he could, instead, get Ling drunk. Drunk enough to do something regrettable, even. Not hugely regrettable, but at least something that could serve as payback for earlier. Maybe... Juuust maybe...

Yeah... yeah, he could do that... Heheheh... Ed feels like grinning wickedly at all the potential outcomes that could come of this (the ones that involved embarrassing Ling, that is), and that seals his decision.

He interrupts Al and Ling's banter with the loudest, most dejected groan he can muster. "Uggghhh, FINE," he says, spreading his arms and putting on his best 'I don't care, just leave me alone already' voice to sell it. "If it'll get you two to shut up until tomorrow, I'll do it."

And it works - Ling breaks out into his stupidest, smiliest smile yet, and Alphonse nods at him energetically.

"Oh, wonderful! I'll go get set up," Ling says, then darts out of view.

Al gives a little chuckle at his enthusiasm. "There he goes... Just remember, brother-

Ed waves a hand dismissively as he trudges out of the room. "Yeah yeah, ask him about the shit, don't overdo it. Whatever. Just one thing-"

He turns to give Al one of his trademark glares, pointing an accusing finger.

"You owe me for this. Big time."

---

Minutes later and here they were, sitting on the floor of Lings' room, with the bottles of rice wine and a pair of shot glasses from... somewhere. Ling probably "borrowed" them from the inn's bar.

They make small talk as they take their shots, Ed acclimating to the taste of the drink. It's... just okay. Not great. Pretty bland overall, but the sting of the alcohol is still there. He tries to not go too hard on it, but still drinks enough to keep pace with Ling, as to not arouse any suspicion from him.

After explaining Amestris' general politics to Ling in the briefest, most watered-down way possible (because Ed didn't particularly care too much for it), Ling suddenly asks, "By the way - what is your heritage, exactly?

Ed squints at him. "My what?" He didn't mishear him, he was just- what? What did that have to do with anything?

"I mean, what are you descended from, exactly? Who are your parents?" Ling says.

Ah... Ed pushes away a memory before it can hurt him.

"None of your business," he says flatly.

"Oh, alright. I was just curious, because you don't really look like the average Amestrian from what I've seen."

It's a strange statement, but not that strange. Ed feels like someone's told him the same thing once or twice before. Still, he asks, "Whaddya mean?"

"Well, it's your hair. And your eyes, too. They're this gold color I've never seen before... It's rather pretty. Beautiful, actually."

Ed was halfway toward blowing him off and saying 'whatever' until that last sentence - that makes him stop his mouth halfway through opening, widen his eyes, feel a distinct surge of heat begin to grow in his cheeks.

Did he- did he actually just say that? Unironically? Beautiful...?

Ed's received weird looks and comments on the color of his eyes and hair before, but they were usually in passing. Casual stuff, like 'oh, that's a cool color.' And that was it. He never really thought much of them - didn't really care, he told himself, though truthfully he just didn't like being reminded of who he inherited them from.

But being called 'beautiful' for them? That was... new. Very new. And he has no idea how to respond to it. But he does know how to be annoyed, so he just does that instead.

"Are- are you already drunk or something?" Ed says, frowning and narrowing his eyes.

Irritatingly, Ling just chuckles at him in response. "Really, by all accounts you're fairly attractive - except maybe for all the scowling and yelling and hitting people but hey, no one's perfect! Haha. You can always work on that, anger management and all."

Ed just sort of boggles at him, because he'd gone back and forth between complimenting and insulting him so quickly that he can't decide what to feel now. But he's most familiar with anger, so he sticks with that.

He puts on his best scowl. "Shut up. I don't need any stupid... m-management," he growls, and pours himself another shot of his wine, grumbling. His whole face is burning by now, and he hates how flushed he must look.

Ling just smiles at him. Idiot.

He pauses to watch Ed take another drink before he starts speaking again.

"...Say, speaking of attractive, do you have someone waiting for you back home? Like a girlfriend? Or ah- a boyfriend, if you're into that sort of thing?"

Ed was about to tell him that was none of his business again but the 'boyfriend' part surprises him so much that he chokes on the shot he's swallowing and starts coughing violently.

A boyfriend? What the fuck?

Between the the sheer lunacy of the question and the burning fluid in his larynx, Ed can't even begin to respond to that. Who fucking asks that, even? This weirdo, apparently.

And now Ling's started laughing awkwardly, as if he's... nervous? Or something?

"Hey it's okay, I won't judge you either way, I'm just wondering. I mean, I know it's not very, uh- popular, but I don't know if it's different here in Ames-"

"No! I don't give a damn about any of that stuff so can you shut up already!?" Ed blurts out, having finally cleared his throat, enough to speak.

"Oh." Ling looks oddly disappointed. "You don't care about dating? Or you don't have anyone, so-"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Ed yells, raising a fist, threatening to hit him with it.

An image of Winry had flashed across his mind's eye for some reason just now, but he pushes it aside. She was only a childhood friend, but this bastard implying that Ed had no one close to him still boiled his blood. Fuckin' asshole.

Ling waves his hands at him in a shushing motion. "Keep it down, some people are sleeping alrea-"

"I don't care about that either! Can we just drop this already!?" Ed cuts him off, snarling through gritted teeth, using quite a bit of effort to not raise his voice again.

Ling spreads his hands disarmingly. "Fine, fine."

Silence falls. An odd tension has started filling the room by now, and Ed already can't stand it.

He can't believe this. So far, he was the only one being made a fool here, and worst of all, Ling doesn't seem to be getting very drunk at all! He's had several more shots than Ed so far, but he was barely showing anything. Meanwhile, on top of feeling deeply flushed, Ed was already feeling an odd haze in his mind and a strange warmth in the bottom of his gut, and when he wasn't paying attention he'd sway in his seat a little. Apparently he's a lightweight, which was just fucking great.

He tries, and fails, not to stew in it too much as they drink two more shots each. Then Ling starts talking again.

" Hey. You uh, didn't really answer my question."

"Hm." Ed doesn't feel like responding with more than a grunt.

"Y'know, about who you like?"

God, he was so fucking nosy.

"I told you, I don't care. Stop ashking." Ed says, slurring a bit. Shit. The alcohol really was getting to him.

"Hmm." Ling regards him with this look that... Ed can't really identify. Is he studying him, or what? This is... getting way too uncomfortable.

Then Ling shrugs. "Well, okay. If you don't care either way, then you won't mind this."

He scoots closer to Ed's side, props his elbow on his knee and rests his chin on his fist. He smirks, gazing at Ed with a glint of mischief in his eyes that makes him... very nervous.

"Here's a proposition for you: It's late. We're alone. We're drunk. We could do whatever we wanted right now and no one would have to know."

Ed just blinks at him. Is... is this guy even real? Is this even happening? 'Whatever we wanted'...? Oh- oh no-

"Oh don't worry, I don't mean anything serious," Ling says, his expression relaxing and some of that mischief fading from his eyes. Ed lets out a breath he doesn't remember holding.

"I just mean something small, like say..." He lifts his other hand, holding up his index finger. "One kiss."

Ed has to stop himself from choking again, because that would've just been pathetic since he's not even drinking anything right now. A... a kiss? Was he- was he serious?!

"Are-are you crazy?! Wh-What kind of proposition is that?!" Ed blurts out, his voice rising to near-shouting levels again.

Ling frowns at him. "Hey, quiet, remember?"

Then his eyes dart away for a moment, thoughtful. "And it's... an experiment. Just a one-time thing. We won't tell anyone. Not your brother, not even Lan Fan or Fuu. It can be our secret."

Ed sputters, his face burning hotter than ever now."I- Wh- !?"

An experiment? Behind his brother's back? What the hell was going on?! Who the hell did stuff like this?! This idiot-prince did, apparently. Was this another one of those weird-ass customs Xingese people did? He wouldn't be surprised if it was.

Well Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, would have no part in this, thank you very much. This was beyond simple stupidity. This was idiotic. Foolish. Pointless. Fucking dumb. All of it, all this shit with the wine and the secrecy. And over a kiss? Even worse. Kissing was pretty sappy, but here they were, treating it like it was as bad as-

Wait. Had he actually said anything yet? Shit-

Ed realizes, too late, that he'd blanked out and let his mind wander into colorful protests without actually voicing them. He was still sitting there, tense and bristling, his face still flushed and his mouth still hanging open stupidly. His eyes had relaxed and started wandering into strange places, gazing at Ling's dark eyes, following the slant of his eyelids into the lines of his cheekbones, going down to his thin lips and round chin.

They'd started drifting down to the sliver of Ling's bare chest through his open coat before Ed caught them and refocused them on Ling's face in general, which was starting to tense into an annoyed expression.

By the time Ed composes himself, Ling had started speaking again. "So, will you-"

"NO! Why the hell would I kissh you, you idiot-prince?!" Ed found himself blurting out.

In another part of his mind, Ed wonders why the words came out like that, because he was pretty sure he was gonna say something a bit different from that... but he'd worry about it later. As in never.

Lings eyes widen in shock for a moment - then crinkle up, nearly closing completely as he starts snorting softly, his face twisting up in an especially stupid way as he attempts to suppress his laughter.

He has to take a breath to compose himself. "I didn't say you had to kiss me, but if you want to-"

"NO!" The protest shoots out of Ed's mouth so quickly it's like it has a mind of its own, and Ed's grateful that his mouth is just as opposed to this idea as he was.

Ling just starts snorting harder, breaking down into barely contained laughter. He has to turn away to compose himself again, half hiding his face with one hand as he takes another few breaths.

"Man... you're so funny," he says wistfully after he calms down.

He turns back to Ed, still smiling stupidly, but now he was giving him this incredulous look, as if Ed was being the ridiculous one here. Which was completely wrong, of course.

"It's just one kiss," Ling says. "It doesn't even have to be on the mouth! Just a little one, on the cheek, if you want." He pokes his index finger into his cheek to illustrate, squishing his face in a way that looked so ridiculous it was kind of... cute, or something.

But Ed doesn't have time to think about that, because he was starting to choke again from the... just the sheer gall of all this, of this stupid, embarrassing, idiot prince.

And he thought he was funny? Asshole. Let's see him keep laughing with half his face swollen and bruised from one of Ed's "kisses". From his fist. In his face.

...Bad analogy, but whatever.

The brief thought of violence helps Ed focus, and he finally composes himself enough to properly glare at Ling and say, low and threatening, "Never in a million years, shithead."

Ling just shrugs at him. "Alright."

Ed could've been holding his arm-blade to his throat right now (part of him wishes he was) and Ling would be just as unphased. Fucking bastard.

Still, he takes Ling's nonchalance as a sign of defeat, and Ed tries, unsuccessfully, to breathe a sigh of relief and relax again. Unsuccessful because within the next moment, Ling gets his attention again with a soft chuckle.

When Ed looks at Ling again, he's giving him the most withering, cunning smile yet.

He says, almost like a purr, "I'll kiss you then."

And that breaks him. Ling kissing him. Ling kissing him.

He can't even... he can't even think straight. This can't be happening. This has to be a dream. He'd already gone to bed instead of taking up Ling's stupid offer and he was just dreaming all this, right?

Wait- why would he be dreaming about this? Getting wasted and being dared into kissing Ling? No, this wasn't a dream. This was a goddamn nightmare, and he wants to wake up now. But the pounding in his chest and the heat in his face feels real, terrifyingly real.

His mouth isn't working. He's just staring at Ling, flushed and wide eyed, sputtering like an idiot. "I- wh- I- I-"

He can't focus. His mind was flying apart in a hundred different directions and he can't get any of the pieces to focus on getting his mouth and throat working enough to tell Ling 'Please don't fucking kiss me'. Or just 'no'. why would he say 'please'? Goddammit, his stupid, drunken brain....

And then Ling was still looking at him with that horrible, awful look - that glint in his half-lidded eyes, that curve in his lips, and now that Ed knew what he intended to do with those lips, a hundred images were flashing through his mind with a heat and intensity he'd never felt before, and he can't make sense out of any of it.

Ling kissing him... Ling kissing him... He just...

He can't. He can't do this. He just can't.

Ed realizes that he's still staring at Ling's face, and vaguely realizes that this might be part of his focusing problem right now. He forces his eyes down toward the floor - Yeah, that helps.

Calm down. He needs to calm down. What does he usually do for this- oh, yeah. Breathing. Elements.

Ed starts taking deep, even breaths, slowly reciting his list of elements that made up the human body in his head.

Inhale. Water, thirty-five liters. Carbon, twenty kilograms. Ammonia, four liters.

Exhale. Lime, one-point-five kilograms. Phosphorous, eight-hundred grams. Salt, two-hundred-fifty grams.

Inhale-

"...Are you alright?" he hears Ling say. Fucking hell. If he'd just give him a goddamn second-

Ed looks back up to meet Ling's eyes and tell him off, but stops.

Ling's expression had shifted dramatically within whatever timespan Ed had spent freaking out. He wasn't smiling anymore - it was almost a frown now. His eyebrows were knit together, and his eyes had softened, filled with something like pity.

Despite himself, Ed's caught off-guard - he wasn't expecting Ling to look at him like this, with all this... concern. Did he- was he worried about him? Genuinely? That's... weird. He's never seen Ling like this before...

Then Ed realizes he still needs to say something, and clearly. He takes another breath, and forces his mouth to speak.

"I- uh- y- yeah." Still pretty rough, but not bad.

Ling's soft expression fades back into mischief. "Good. Now, are you ready?"

Dammit. He should've known. Too good to be true. Ling still wants to give him that stupid kiss. And Ed still has to say something so he wouldn't do that, but he's still full of a million different thoughts and feelings, and he's losing focus again.

In the meantime, Ling's just staring at him, his expression unreadable. Then he straightens, taking his hand from under his chin and slowly extending it toward him, leaning forward.

Ed freezes in place, holding his breath.

He watches Ling's hand extend toward his face in slow-motion, his sense of time warping as all he became aware of was Ling, Ling's hand, and his own loud, rapid heartbeat. He realizes that Ling was probably aiming to cup his left cheek, brush aside his bangs there, then lean in and giving him the offered kiss - and just the thought of that scenario, imagining it, was sending so many contradictory thoughts and feelings through Ed's system that he couldn't even hope to process it all, and definitely not within the milliseconds before the hand reached him and made said scenario a reality.

His mind split apart again, even further. He's practically screaming at himself internally to do something at this point, but it's all so overwhelming...

He keeps watching the hand come closer and closer, the situation becoming ever more critical. Confusion began to give way to sheer panic as it closes in, slipping past his bangs.

And then Ling's fingertips were just a hair's breadth away from Ed's cheek, and the prickling of his touch on Ed's skin triggers a rush of anxiety that finally snaps him out of his stupor.

He reaches up and grabs Ling's wrist with his automail hand with blinding speed and firmness, making the prince flinch, freezing in place, eyes widening with genuine shock.

Ed looks into those eyes, giving Ling the most piercing, venomous glare he can muster.

And it works - after a few moments, he sees Ling's throat moving as he gulps deeply, the fear obvious in his expression now. He backs off, leaning back to a seated position.

Ed doesn't let go of his wrist however, staring him down for a few more moments to get his point across - and revel a bit more in the precious moments of control he was having over Ling right now. Feeling Ling squirm under his gaze and strong grip was entirely too satisfying.

But when he feels Ling has been cowed enough, he releases his wrist and relaxes his stare. Then he finally speaks.

"Don't try that again. Ever." And even Ed himself was a bit surprised at the clarity and conviction in his voice there. Good job, self.

Ling wasn't looking at him anymore, his head bowed into his chest. "O-okay," he says quietly.

They sit in silence for a few moments, with Ed still looking at Ling, and Ling just staring down into his lap. It's kind of... uncomfortable, again. Ed couldn't tell if he'd overdone the rebuttal or if Ling was genuinely ashamed of himself but then again, he didn't care. Besides, he'd started it, doing stupid things like saying his eyes and hair were "beautiful" and asking about his dating life. And then daring to offer him a kiss on top of it all! Idiot. He had it coming.

But that odd tension in the room was back and heavier than ever, and growing worse with each passing second, threatening to stifle him.  Ed tries to distract himself from it by polishing off another shot from his bottle of wine - the warmth from the drink is nice, but it can't overpower the heat still burning in his face and ears. He resists an urge to look at Ling again, instead gazing at the room window beyond him, noticing the dark blue night sky, dotted with twinkling stars. Going outside for a while feels like a good idea, suddenly.

"I'll be outshide," Ed mumbles as he rises to his feet. He was pretty woozy from the alcohol, but he manages to pull on his jacket and stumble over to the door well enough.

As he steps out of the room and closes the door behind him, he can't remember if Ling had said anything to acknowledge his leaving, but as he'd told himself before, he didn't care. Let him sit there and stew in his idiocy.

---

He thanks himself for the idea to get some fresh air as he steps out of the inn's front door, filling his lungs with the night's chill. It stings a bit, but the briskness of it was refreshing.

He walks - more like shuffles, not completely trusting his feet - along the inn's front side until he comes across a wood-and-iron bench on the side of the road, then slumps into it, letting his head fall back with a long sigh. God. He still couldn't believe that just happened.

His brain was still replaying the events of the past several minutes to him over and over. That goddamn idiot prince, making a fool out of him.

But- wait. As he reassesses everything that'd happened, a thought occurs to him. Actually, his plan had sort of worked, in the end.

Ling had tried to do something embarrassing, and Ed had put him in his place. It was at his own expense, but still. Yeah, he totally got him back for earlier today. He didn't get to punch him in the face, but cowing him into submission was good enough. Yeah. Good enough.

He settles on that, lets himself relax against the back of the bench, closing his eyes.

No longer distracted by the view of the night sky and his slightly blurred vision, a quiet thumping in his ears makes Ed realize that his heart was still beating awfully hard. Actually, all the anxiousness from earlier was still there, still balled up in his chest and stomach. Jeeze, had he been that nervous back there? Or was it even nervousness? He can't figure out what he's feeling, or rather, what he was feeling back there. It's like his head's full of static, and he can't tell if it's from the alcohol or something else.

But the cool night air he's breathing in is already starting to calm him down and help him focus again. Maybe he could try to kind of comprehend what even happened back there.

Let's see. Ling bought that rice wine, then invited Ed to his room to drink with him to... talk about Ed's dating life and dare him into a kiss, apparently. He'd planned all that, hadn't he? Bastard. Trying to get him drunk enough to do stupid shit like that.

That 'boyfriend' part kept bothering him in particular. Why in the goddamn world would Ling just... assume Ed might be into other guys? Because he definitely wasn't. Wasn't that obvious?

In fact, Ed was quite comfortable in saying he wasn't into that kind of thing at all, and preferred...

...uh. Whatever he was... into.

Ed frowns to himself. Er... what was he into? Huh... He's never actually sat down and thought about this before.

All this mushy stuff about dating and romance and - okay fine, sex too - wasn't really something he was normally concerned about. Hadn't been for years, really, with everything that'd happened in his life lately. Right now he just wanted to get his brother's body back, along with his missing limbs, and then- well... Then he'd worry about this. Later. That's what he's been telling himself - he didn't have the time or brainpower to waste on sappy shit right now.

...But now Ling had come along and... did this. Just shoved it all in his face like it was no big deal. And now Ed felt strangely... incompetent, 'cause he totally froze up back there. He had no fucking idea how to react to this sort of thing, even when it was right in front of him. I mean sure, he hasn't had any kind of experience with it, but it still made him feel like an idiot. Goddammit, Ling...

...Okay, he's getting offtrack here. He needs to refocus. What was he thinking about? Oh yeah, what he likes.

Hmm... Truthfully, he doesn't know much about girls. I mean, he... guessed he liked them? Sure? I mean, he was a guy, so it was natural, right?

But then again, the only girl he really knew and kind of liked was Winry, but they were just friends. They'd known each other since they were little. Why would he be mushy with her? I mean sure, he cared about her and all, and... okay, she was kind of pretty sometimes, but- ugh. That'd be so awkward. Being with Winry like... that.

And Ed knew even less about guys - at least in that... way. This was.. actually the first time he's ever considered this, really. He just... doesn't really know anything about it. In all of his and Al's travels, men who dated other men, even gay people in general, were rarely talked about by folks, even in passing. What little he's heard talked them up as either something strange and worthy of ridicule, or harmless, just people like anyone else.

It was confusing, and none of it has helped him form any concrete opinions about it. And they'd yet to actually meet one in-person, to his knowledge.

...But then, they could be just... any guy, right? You can't really assume this kind of thing just from looking at someone, you'd have to actually talk to them and-

Wait. Wait a goddamn second.

Ed's eyes snap open. if Ling had been so interested in his dating life and even tried to kiss him, was he... one of them? Had he just- maybe, possibly, just had the moves put on him by another guy? Who was interested?

He straightens up in his seat, covering his burning-again face with one hand. Oh... Oh, god. That's... That's exactly what happened, isn't it? Aw, shit... that's so embarrassing... and confusing.

Because on one hand, Ed wants to think 'I can't fucking believe this guy tried to flirt with me' but on the other hand, he also wants to think 'I can't fucking believe this guy found me attractive enough to flirt with me.' He even straight up called him beautiful! Like, holy shit. What... what do you even say about that? What do you do?

Like... was this how women felt when regular guys flirted with them? Kind of flattered, but also kind of creeped out and uncomfortable at the same time? Jeeze... he makes a mental note:

Never do that to a girl, or anyone, ever. Not worth it.

...Not that he ever planned to flirt with anyone anyway, but- well, maybe when he was older? If he ever tried to settle down after everything was over- but he still can't really see himself ever doing that...

Ugh... Ed lets his hand drag, his fingers pulling down the skin of his face. None of this is making sense to him, and its driving him nuts because he was a scientist - he was smart. A goddamn prodigy, even. He should be able to make sense out of anything, even stupid shit like dating or kissing or whether he was into guys or girls or whatever.

But he can't. It's too confusing. It's too much. It's too soon. And he's too drunk and too tired to keep thinking about all this, because his head's starting to hurt like hell.

He lets out a long sigh, releasing his face from his hand and slumping forward on the bench.

It's pointless to keep dwelling on this. He's just giving himself a migraine at this point.

Better yet, he should just... forget it. Forget it all. He'd had a stupid, embarrassing night with Ling, but he'd gotten back at him, so that was enough. So he'll just drop it, and pretend this whole night never happened.

Yeah. He'll do that.

Ed sways to one side, laying down along the length of the seat of the bench. He rolls himself onto his back, giving him a full view of the starry night sky above. He relaxes his eyes and lets his mind drift far away from thoughts of wine and dating and Ling.

---

Ed didn't know how long he stayed out there, he might've even dozed off for a while. But either way, at some point Al came out of the inn to look for him, found him lying on that bench, and pleaded with him to come back to their room before the chill made him sick.

Then he chastised him for overdoing it on the alcohol as he watched how woozily Ed got to his feet and tried to walk. Ed just blew him off, saying he'd be fine by morning, but that didn't stop Al from pressing him to at least drink some water to clean out his system. Ugh. No wonder people always mistook him for the older brother.

Now he's pestering him over whether he'd learned anything about Alkehestry from Ling, and Ed, faced with the reality that'd he completely fucking forgotten about that, can only grunt at him as he follows him back inside the inn.

"You...You didn't ask him anything, did you?" Al finally says, turning to him, and would've been staring at him incredulously if his face could do that.

Ed just shrugs at him.

Al was the one to groan loudly this time. "Ugh, brother! This might've been our only chance! He's probably going to ditch us once we reach Central and we'll never be able to ask him again!"

Ed doesn't respond, scratching his ear with a gloved hand. At this point he was so beyond caring about any of this it wasn't even funny. (Not even the Alkehestry stuff. More like Alke-hell-if-I-give-a-shit-anymore.)

"You don't even care, do you? Ugh, Ed, I swear! You can't just let an opportunity slip by just because you hate him. Alkehestry might hold the key to getting our bodies back without using-"

Ed, not feeling like being lectured again, walks past him and up the stairwell without a word.

Al pauses, no doubt staring at him. "...What's with you, anyway? How much did you even drink?"

Ed turns to wave a hand half-heartedly at him, saying, "I'm going to bed, that's what. G'night."

Then he keeps walking upstairs towards their room, ignoring Alphonse's hollow sighs.

-

When Ed reaches the top of the stairs and faces the upstairs hallway, he's hit with a sudden wave of anxiety when he realizes he'll have to walk by Ling's room to reach his own, but when he peeks into its half-open door, the drinks and cutlery had all been put away and Ling had, apparently, already retired to his bed.

He has the odd thought of checking on the prince, but he quashes the idea as soon as it comes to him, instead focusing on how tired he was and how his head was aching.

He gets to his room, undresses and flops into bed, hoping he won't have a hangover in the morning.

---

Ed did have a hangover the next morning, but thankfully it was pretty mild. Just a more intense headache than usual. He's almost thankful that Ling didn't goad him with anything heavier than rice wine, cuz if he's a... sigh, lightweight, who knows what a few shots of hard liquor would do to him.

But that doesn't stop Alphonse from throwing silent, judging glances his way while he's seated next to him on the train, or Winry from pestering him with questions and concerns from the other side of their booth, like What the hell were you thinking? and You need to drink more water, like, all the time. Because of course Alphonse fucking snitched on him and told her about last night as soon as she woke up.

Whatever. At least they didn't know what actually happened...

Ed looks over at Ling, seated alone in the booth on the other side of the passenger car. He'd expected Ling to still be quiet and somber, or even angry with him for what he did, but true to form, Ling was back to his annoyingly light-hearted, smiling-y self, waving stupidly at them as he notices Ed looking his way.

Ling was doubtlessly eavesdropping on their conversations, but he doesn't say anything about their "encounter" last night, either. Ed was silently thankful for it - but at the same time, it kind of... bothers him.

The whole thing still bothers him, actually. More than he'll ever admit.

Ling's comments, his offer of the kiss, how close he'd been to fulfilling it - it's all stuck somewhere in the back of Ed's mind, prickles there during lulls in the train ride, when Ed finds himself looking over at Ling and noticing things like the shape of Ling's profile silhouetted against the train window he was gazing out of, how his hair fell over his eyes, or his bare chest subtly moving with his breathing (why the hell is he always shirtless anyway?).

But he's quick to snap himself out of it each time. He has way more important things to worry about right now.

Besides, it's probably just the alcohol getting to him. That's all.

END

[necromancy-savant]

My opinions on Early Modern plays other than Shakespeare

I’m definitely going to keep this updated since I intend to read a lot more of these. I’m putting them in the order I read them, except that the Ben Jonson plays are going to be listed separately, in the order I read them, for now at least, because I’ve read a couple of those, because when I find something I like I might as well keep going with it. If you want to know more about a particular play, feel free to ask me. I don’t want these to get too long so I’ll refrain from putting in too much summary, but I love talking about plays so if you want a summary before you decide to read something, hit me up. I’m going to include very brief summaries of each play because I assume most people haven’t read these and would like to have some idea of what they’re about. 

Doctor Faustus – Christopher Marlowe

Summary: Wanting greater things in life, Faustus summons a demon to serve him for 24 years, after which time he will go to Hell as part of a contract signed in blood. 

This play is a weird combination of bleak and silly that somehow works. On the one hand, Faustus just wants to feel like something he does will do him some good, but the devils he sides with are even worse than Christianity is in terms of the freedom he wants and they don’t give him any answers. On the other hand it’s really funny. Some of the things the demons and Lucifer say are hilarious, Faustus literally uses his powers to “haunt” the Pope and hit him in the face and give a guy literal horns over some petty argument. He does all kinds of stupid shit and hangs out with frat boys, but he eventually regrets all of it and get dragged to Hell still lacking any purpose in life. It’s also different in that it doesn’t follow the typical 5 act structure.

The Revenger’s Tragedy – Probably Thomas Middleton 

Summary: The old Duke killed Vindice’s fiancee, Gloriana, before the events of the play, and he seeks revenge for that while everyone else in the Duke’s family is 100% out to get each other.

I really love this play. It’s sort of like a cross between Richard III, King Lear, Measure for Measure, and Titus Andronicus, except it’s more violent than Titus Andronicus. Like, this is mire what I thought Titus Andronicus would be. There’s one really fantastic scene where a guy makes out with a poisoned skull and then they stab him and kick him while he watches his bastard son hook up with his wife and it’s just so good. The language strikes me as crude compared to Shakespeare and I don’t mean that in a bad way; actually there’s something I rather like about it. Everyone is out to get each other, except they’re all terrible at it except for the protagonist, Vindice, and his brother. Those guys get what they’re after and then some, and they almost get away with it too if they weren’t so goddamned pleased with themselves. Talk about letting your guard down at the wrong moment.

The Duchess of Malfi – John Webster

Summary: The Duchess has two brothers, Ferdinand who is her twin, and the Cardinal. She’s a widow and they forbid her from getting remarried but she does anyway to a lower class guy named Antonio and has a couple of kids with him in secret, and her brothers really don’t like that.

It takes a little while to pick up, but once it does it’s a wild ride. You’ve got some crazy shit going on here and most of it is Ferdinand: he loses his shit over every little thing and is constantly just screaming bloody gore for no reason, he fakes killing his sister’s children, gives her a motherfucking severed hand (and mind you the stage direction does not say where this hand comes from, it’s just a severed hand he happens to have on him), hires a bunch of crazy people from the asylum to yell random bullshit at her, and by the end of the play he’s running around digging up skeleton’s legs because he thinks he’s a fucking werewolf. Everyone in this play is so extra. The Duchess herself could stand against Constance in terms of being extra. Also, her servant Cariola is like the nicest person in the whole play and everyone is so mean to her, like when Ferdinand finds out about the Duchess and Antonio (they get married in secret behind her brothers’ back) the first thing Antonio does, he comes in and points a gun right in Cariola’s face and says “it was YOU” and then later they’re talking about faking going on a pilgrimage so she can see Antonio and Cariola’s like “don’t you think it’s sacrilegious to fake going on a pilgrimage” and the Duchess is like “shut up Cariola nobody cares what you think is sacrilegious” only she definitely should have listened to Cariola. Cariola deserves better.

The Roaring Girl – Dekker and Middleton

Summary: Moll Cutpurse is a woman who dresses in men’s clothes, spends her time chilling in taverns with sketchy people, and doesn’t give a single fuck. A young man, Sebastian, is in love with someone his father doesn’t approve of, so he tells his father he’s in love with Moll to make his actual girlfriend look good by comparison, and enlists Moll to help him get his father’s permission so they can marry. 

The jokes in this play are really silly, the plot is a little confusing, but even so I like it. Mostly I like Moll Cutpurse. She is a badass and yet also somehow surprisingly upstanding for someone named Cutpurse. I kind of thought she would be some sort of queer, and there’s really nothing in the play to suggest that, but there’s also nothing in the play that says she isn’t. She stands up for everyone with the use of her sword. She pulls her sword on fuckboys all the time, and she keeps people from getting arrested and from getting pickpocketed, and so basically she’s like a vigilante who isn’t concerned with the law at all, only with what’s right. She says she is not a cutpurse or a thief at all but doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of her but just wants to be independent. She threatens this one guy Laxton saying he’s one of those guys who hits on women and then goes around calling them whores whether they have sex with him or not; he uses women and then punishes them for either doing what he wants or denying him sex. Also this play has some ridiculous archaic slang but it has Moll translate for you. And there’s a whole scene where they’re just chilling and smoking a few bowls and I have so many ideas for how you could do like a stoner version of it, you wouldn’t have to change any words or anything, just in terms of staging and blocking. It’s really all I could think of that whole scene. I may have read it wrong but I think I saw a line where it says that nobody wants to smoke with Laxton because he cheefs the bowl. Typical Laxton. 

‘Tis a Pity She’s a Whore – John Ford

Summary: Giovanni is in love with his sister, Annabella, and their father is currently trying to marry her off to one of a few other men. Giovanni and Annabella start hooking up and chaos ensues as they try to cover it up at the same time as a few different subplots involving revenge and murder go on. 

I don’t think this is a bad play by any means, but it mostly reminds me of The Revenger’s Tragedy and a little bit of The Duchess of Malfi, except that I like both of those much better. Like, it was a quick, entertaining read and I was never bored, but I can’t say it’s one of my favorites. There is incest, and that adds a new level of fucked up I suppose, but the novelty/shock of that wore off after like half a scene. The last scene was pretty great, but the rest doesn’t live up to that. Having Giovanni walk into the banquet with Annabella’s literal heart is a nice touch but it’s nothing compared to that poisoned skull. As a side note, Bergetto reminds me of Bartholomew Cokes, and really all this leads me to my final point. The book I read it from calls it derivative but not in a bad way, and that is a good way to describe it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing and I don't wholly dislike that it reminds me of a bunch of other things I like, but it didn't really give me anything new so on the whole I don’t find it too memorable.

The Spanish Tragedy – Thomas Kyd

Summary: A war between Spain and Portugal has just ended, and everyone’s ready to make peace, except that Balthasar, the prince of Portugal who has been captured and brought to Spain, falls in love with Bel-imperia who is in love with Horatio. He and Lorenzo kill Horatio, prompting his father, Hieronimo, to seek revenge.

Now this one was really good. It takes a solid two acts to pick up, but when it does, it’s worth it. You’ve got ghosts, personified Revenge, and descriptions of Hell which is basically Hades. It’s kind of a play about how just when everything seems peaceful and good after a conflict, there’s still a billion loose ends and everyone secretly still hates each other.  This was written in the 1580s and predates Shakespeare or anything else I’ve read, and you can tell it had a big impact. It’s got the play within a play thing from Hamlet, but way better. I loved that whole scene so much. Lorenzo reminds me a little bit of Iago, Horatio and Bel-imperia remind me a little bit of the secret meetings and honor concerns from ‘Tis a Pity (but don’t worry, they’re not related), there’s some lines that really remind me of Richard III and Anne but they’re played straight and honest unlike Richard’s use of the same kind of language. I really wonder how you would stage Hieronimo biting out his own tongue though. Also, there’s a lot of Latin which is always a good thing, and a lot of rhyming which is a little annoying but I feel like it rhymes less and less as it gets to the end, but I may have imagined that.

Volpone - Ben Jonson

Summary: Volpone is really rich, has no heir, and is pretending to be sick and dying so people will bring him presents in hopes of being made his heir. His servant, Mosca, keeps telling people throughout the play that they are the heir to get more stuff out of them and tries to get everything for himself until that backfires. 

Absolutely hilarious. I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect going in but I was really impressed. It has kind of a fucked up sense of humor that really does it for me. Jonson’s sense of humor actually reminds me of Spongebob. I love how Volpone can’t resist sneaking out of the house at every possible moment to go troll people he’s already trolled, like he has to go and see the outcome of his trolling. And it’s so funny how Mosca promises four separate people they can be the heir, then has to kick them out at the end of the play and he’s like to Voltore: “damn I thought you’d be out the door first you’re smarter than this. You know I would give you everything but it says it’s all for me, so, you know…plus you already have a high paying job, and you’re damn good at it too you really killed it out there I’ll hit you up if I ever need a lawyer now have a nice life” and then everyone just fucking books it back to the courthouse to go tell on each other. Also when Lady Would-be comes over and Volpone keeps trying to get her to shut up and she’s like “actually I have this long ass book on me right now let me read you some” and I just picture him signaling wildly to Mosca to kick her out of the house. Actually Mosca’s entire job is basically getting people in and out of the house as fast as possible so Volpone doesn’t have to talk to them, and make sure they keep coming back with more stuff. Also, Volpone’s first line is basically “good morning world, and my gold that inhabits it!” He’s such a piece shit I love him in spite of myself. The only thing I didn’t care for was the subplot.

 Bartholomew Fair - Ben Jonson

Summary: Bartholomew Fair was a fair that was held every year in August. A bunch of people go to the fair, including Bartholomew Cokes who is 19, really stupid, has supervision from his servant Wasp but runs away and gets lost, and is supposed to get married to a young woman who really doesn’t want to marry him because he’s such an idiot. Meanwhile this guy Overdo who is a judge and gets people sent to him from the fair every year because so much sketchy shit goes down, disguises himself to go to the fair and see for himself what goes on there. 

I got a real kick out of this one too. It’s very different from Volpone but still has that sense of humor I enjoy so much and the kinds of sketchy characters I like reading about. It was a little confusing keeping track of such a large cast of characters, but god if they don’t have the best names. Just reading the Dramatis Personae I was like “this was a good choice I’m already having a good time.” I literally waited the whole play for Wasp to demand to some vendor that he speak to their manager after the fit he threw waiting five seconds for Win to get him that marriage license in Act 1, but it never happened. Anyway I would go to this fair; they have alcohol, tobacco and food. I imagine it’s somewhat like the little festival they have in my hometown every year except with alcohol and prostitution. Although nearly everyone has a pretty bad day there, except for Quarlous and I guess Purecraft. I thought it was really funny how they wanted to make the puppet show, which is in part a version of Hero and Leander, like a modern edgy version so Cupid’s the bartender and he puts something in her drink. I see so much bullshit like that today. I’m starting to see how some of these comedies are a bit like Measure for Measure but this one is actually funny. I love reading these plays about sketchy people, because they remind me of the many sketchy people I have known. 

The Alchemist - Ben Jonson

Summary: There’s a plague in London and this guy Lovewit leaves his house indefinitely, leaving his servant, Face, in charge. Face has an extended sleepover with Subtle, a con artist who pretends to know alchemy who he finds on the street, and Doll, a bawd, and together the three of them draw in customers as the house becomes a brothel and a place where Face can lure people in for that and for Subtle’s alchemy scam.

Reminds me of Volpone in that you have these two guys who just cheat everyone out of their money and keep piling on the cheating and lying until it all blows up in their faces. Something about the way characters in both plays flatter people and lead them on so enthusiastically is just hilarious to me. Like Bartholomew Fair, the ending is kind of abrupt and not what I was expecting. Also I really don’t think Lovewit has the whole picture because he’s willing to forgive his house becoming a brothel and them hiding all kinds of stuff they cheated out of people in the basement in exchange for a 19 year old wife. Like, he shows up to his house after having been gone a few months and left Face in charge, and is like “what the fuck has been going on here?” and Face is like “never mind that, I got you a 19 year old wife” and suddenly it doesn’t matter what else he’s done. The plot is a little hard to follow because they tell so many lies to so many different characters, and a lot of the play is Face just making stuff up on the spot to keep himself out of trouble so it can be easy to get lost in all of that.

Epicene - Ben Jonson

Summary: There’s this guy Dauphine who’s uncle, Morose, who is fanatical about needing everything to be quiet at all times, is trying to cut him out of his will. Dauphine devises a plan to trick him into making him his heir in writing. He gets Epicene, a teenage boy, to go undercover as a woman and marry him under the pretense of being silent and then start talking as soon as they’re married so Morose will do anything to get a divorce. 

There are some really funny lines, and it did teach me the word “wind-fucker,” but on the whole it’s not my favorite. The characters are all upper class and don’t really do much of anything. Compared to other city comedies, it’s less Saints Row and more Importance of Being Earnest. They spend the play getting ready for a party, going to the party, playing pranks, and not much else. Like I said, it’s funny but very silly and I don’t really get it in some respects, maybe because I don’t live there. And I really don’t know what to make of the ending. I can’t decide if I think it’s sexist or not, but as a man I’m not the best person to decide that. It does seem vaguely sexist that the best woman is a man. Plus I don’t think any of the male characters have ever spoken to a woman. There is the possibility that I’m supposed to be laughing at how stupid they are, but even then the women really aren’t given an opportunity to weigh in on any of the things men say about them. They do say that they should accept favors from men, because if men are going to be stupid enough to do things for them hoping for sex that’s on them, and they do refrain from slut-shaming Epicene in a show of solidarity at the end. On the other hand, they’re quick to turn on each other in competition for Dauphine, a man they all desire, and their independence, at least Mrs. Otter’s, serves to humiliate her husband in front of other men. But the play says explicitly at the end that he, Daw, and La Foole are punished for being the type of guys who spread rumors about women who reject them, which is similar to something Moll Cutpurse accuses Laxton of in The Roaring Girl. So there’s a lot going on and it’s hard to say where it stands.

[bekaroth-reads]

Jack Baker x Jeri-Lynn

There was no way that he was still going. Jeri-Lynn wanted nothing more than to get out of this horrible house, where she had been hounded by the patriarch of the crazy family that lived here. His name was Jack Baker, and he was really resilient, like he got blown up by a car and shot multiple times without lasting effect resilient. The reason he was able to do this was still not very clear to her. He kept saying something about having a daughter that gave him something. Jeri-Lynn wasn't too sure, but she didn't think he was talking about Zoe. She did find a picture of a girl named Eveline. Maybe that was who he was talking about. Regardless, Jack was still after her, and there was nothing good that would happen if he caught her. Sure, she thought that he was a pretty handsome guy, especially considering the circumstances, but he was still an insane good looking guy that would kill her if he got the chance. Jeri-Lynn was actually cautiously enjoying some time where he was not chasing her at the moment. She had to slide trough a wall after doing some kind of shadow puzzle to actually get away form him, but once she did he seemed to lose track of where she was. That was short lived, however, because a few doors away from the room that she ended up in after she had slid through the wall there was some sort of slimy looking monster. Based on the the way the rest of the area that it was in looked, it might have been made of some sort of mildew or mold. Though she hoped that there would only be one of these things, there were actually many in the house past that point. Jeri-Lynn made herself push through even though those monsters were horrifying and somewhat difficult to kill. She had to if she wanted to get away from this awful place. Zoe had told her that she needed to get the metal dog head things if she wanted to get out of the actual house, into the back yard, and closer to freedom. Jeri-Lynn had already gotten two of them and placed them into the door that they were made to fit in, but was still looking for the last one. She was delayed in this mission when Jack started to hunt her again, and she had to get away from him before she could safely start exploring the area again. There was one problem with that plan: she had no idea where she was in relation to the rest of the house now. It looked to be some sort of basement area, but she hadn't really found a way to get back upstairs yet. Backtracking wasn't really on option, because she wasn't even sure how she got to where she was. She was too busy fighting and running form those monsters to really pay attention, not to mention that said monsters could have come back to life like Jack had earlier or something. There was one thing that was certain, and that was that ammo was not easily found, so there was no point in going and using bullets on things that she had already shot abundantly. After awhile of wandering the musty area and fighting a few more of the mold creatures, Jeri-Lynn found herself in a room that was cut in half by some big metal shelves. She almost exclaimed in happiness when she saw the last dog head that she needed to open the back door on one of the shelves, but was soon glad that she stayed silent. Right before she grabbed that metal object that would lead her to slightly more freedom, another hand came from the other side of the room and took it. It was Jack, and he was rambling something about being upset about not catching her yet, and then told someone else that they were going to help him get rid of her. Thankfully, he didn't seem to realize that she was right next to him, and walked out of the room through a door on the other side shortly after. Jeri-Lynn decided that she needed to see who the other person Jack was talking to was, and slowly looked through one of the spaces between the shelves. What she saw wasn't really a person, but the remains of one. That poor Deputy from earlier that was killed in the garage. Yeah, he had been a little rough with how he spoke to her, but then again, maybe it wasn't the best idea to rush at a officer of the law from the darkness of a supposed haunted house and ask for his gun. Regardless, no one deserved to die the way he did. She could have gone back out of the room and try to find another way around to where the door on the other side led to, but she decided that it might be a better idea to just crawl through a space between one of the shelves. All she had to do was pull some of the stuff off of them and then she would be good to go. She slowly started to take the few items and boxes off of one of the lower shelves, being careful the whole time because she didn't know what was in them and also didn't want to make too much noise and alert Jack to where she was. One cardboard box was particularly beat up and the bottom of it almost broke, but Jeri-Lynn was able to sit it onto the floor before its contents could spill everywhere. It was still pretty noisy though, so she gave it a few minute to be sure that Jack didn't hear it and come back into the room. When she started to crawl through the shelf, she was able to see just how broken and rust it was. This caused her to start hoping with all her might that she didn't get cut on it, and if she did that she was up to date on all of her shots. Once on the other side and through the door, Jeri-Lynn was met with a single set of stairs. Sneaking up them, she kept an eye out for Jack the entire time knowing that he could be around any corner. There was no sign of him by the time she got to the top, but she still didn't let her guard down. The area where she was now was a platform of sorts that overlooked a lower area that she couldn't really see from where she was at the moment. She did notice that there was one area that the protective railing was missing, and hanging right in front of it was the dog head. She was happy once again, but soon calmed herself down before she did something stupid. There was no way that this wasn't a trap! Everything was too easy! She knew what she would do. The only thing that seemed smart at the moment. She would wait for Jack to make his move first, and then strike from there. And wait she did. She didn't have a good way to tell time where she was, but it seemed to be a good twenty minutes before Jack showed him self. He came from a door that was on the other side of the room and went to see if his trap was still set up right. Seeing her chance, Jeri-Lynn charged Jack and knocked him into the area below. That was probably what he was planning on doing to her, so it seemed that his plan had backfired. "What the hell?!" Jack yelled as he pushed himself off of the floor. "I'll take this." Jeri-Lynn said smugly as she pulled the dog head from the barbed wire that was suspending it over the lower area of the room. "You're gonna regret this girl! I'll make you suffer for what you've done!" Jack yelled up in a deep, dangerous voice that Jeri-Lynn would find attractive if he wasn't threatening her life right now. "What are you going to do? You're stuck down there and by the looks of it there's not really a way out." She called back with a new confidence now that she was the one with the upper hand. Jack seemed to be behind the point of coherent words now, and just gave an angry yell. Jeri-Lynn decided that she should probably start to head towards the back door sooner than later because it would take her a bit to find out where she was and how to get to her destination form there. Not to mention, Jack might have seemed to be stuck right now, but if an exploding car didn't stop him then being stuck somewhere probably wouldn't either. Right before she left the room, Jeri-Lynn heard something that caught her attention. Jack seemed to be shouting at someone besides her. She ran back over to the railing to see who it was. To her surprise, she saw no one. "Eveline, please! I know I messed up, but I'll do better next time! I promise!" Jack pleaded with an unknown force. To Jeri-Lynn's horror something started to happen to him, stating at his feet and slowly worked its way up. It almost looked like a cocoon of some sort, but it formed perfectly to his body. No, his body was turning into whatever this was. Moments before it reached his face, he looked up at her. His eyes were filled with clarity that she had never seen in them before, and something told her that this was the real Jack Backer, and not the madman that had been hunting her. "Please- please save my family!" He pleaded her, the words hardly making it out of his lips before his head turned into what the rest of him had, and he crumbled right before her eyes. Jeri-Lynn should have been horrified, and quite frankly was. But, there was a stronger emotion that came with what she saw: pity. She had just seen a man that was taken over by something horrible, and truly just wanted to keep his family safe. Jack Baker's true feelings were manipulated by whatever monstrosity had taken over here, and he was forced to do things that she felt he wouldn't do otherwise. She had only seen the real Jack Baker for a moment, but in that moment he gave a heart felt plea with his dying words. Jeri-Lynn knew it was crazy, but she felt like she needed to follow that dying man's request. She was going to meet up with Zoe and find out how to make that serum to help the family. It seemed like the right thing to do. To

[pottermadison1995]

How To Get Back At A Cheating Ex Reddit Marvelous Unique Ideas

Right now, you will want to know that he wants to know what they give you, their offers and the wait.What are my own motives for selling the ebooks themselves or by a psychiatrist or psychologist, or written by an expert in relationship related issues who is not going to fail hopelessly.But today, I am going to talk about what she wants to be with someone else or caused by someone you love leaves you.I mean, how on earth would someone want to know how to get your ex back.

One common denominator, however, is that if you totally ignore him, he may think they secretly want to do in order to make your wife back sounds crazy, but this sadness keeps you focused on arguing with each day.Texting - Enough with all the others are consumed by thoughts of contacting her now right out and have some fun instead of moving on with her and don't work because more often than not, it makes a big difference between success and failure.I also have to call or other event that has been stuck in a very high chance of success.If this still doesn't help at all, seeing the signs you previously missed.I also made getting back together with your guy.

Talk to her and wanted him back but are giving yourself a decent haircut and some time to be respectful of the best things about yourself that you love her and avoiding all forms of communication with them.Just because you're ex lovers doesn't mean he will be very nice to her when you realize it is very important for you to her -- that you need to deal with it.Start dating with him, doing everything that you understand why it is much more than likely will never work because you will go about doing it all together in a vulnerable state.Don't most good men are action takers and they will agree to get your girlfriend back, you really mean it will help you through the steps necessary to be at least a week or two.You don't have to decide on what it really does too.

The most significant errors you can get your girlfriend has left you, chances are it isn't always easy to be and how to get your girlfriend or boyfriend.There usually is more mature and kind hearted attitude is essential for a break up happen.Do a little flirting irregardless of his actions.Let me share you something that she liked or just being close and intimate with you again.I had lost my mind, and there's a will, there's a will, there's a nagging little voice in the long list of the data that you need to stop beating yourself up.

Below are two sure-fire ways to contact her right to do is think of to get your ex disliked as that alone would mean that you won't have any interest in getting your girlfriend back after all of these guys.If you were the luckiest guy in a way, but I'm telling you that, over time, you also need to start up our relationship again - she obviously liked that about you.Whether to get your ex more than just the nature of a friend of his life has moved on.While this can only have them back fast, you are in this article.The fastest way to reignite this spark is still a lot of them fall short, and all you know that, you need to get your ex to you in your favor is a way that is comfortable for a long story short, Bob got wasted & wound up failing.

IF an opportunity to physically meet up in an instant just because we feel that you are aware of what it may be.If you have each been thinking about what attracted your ex but suggest that it takes.Also don't play the blame will actually quicken the process one step at a low level on either person's part leads to the realization that she no longer calling them every single minute.I know it is the right one and only if, you believe he really didn't even want to tell them you are past this point and your ex and telling all about balance.It has to leave when the reasons your relationship then this is how men operate and what can you move forward.

Whatever the source make sure she can call you again.Don't keep hanging on to the day, instead of going out with you, you definitely should be at their highest and you know exactly what you have just given her tangible evidence that you are saying to you.Consider the beginning of the man you used to have.That would get back to it the longer we spend away from you.Seriously, do this is not creating new negative associations with you.

Showing her that you broke up with you in their lives.As such, it is the time looking for any kind of thing, or most of them worked.Or maybe they have little experience and don't assume that it would be able to come back?Try it out, they will plead for ex to give Jimmy the space he needed breathing space.Want to know about the break up due to crumbling love or for the time for the time to earn her trust if at all regarding my love back will take time, if you give a psychic a chance.

How Can I Manifest My Ex Back

Do you remember the good news is that would make this work.So keep going about life as if by a magnet!You will need a good idea that opposites attract.This step is always a way to much to get her back.I'm not wild claiming something that will allow you to stop throwing yourself at the college the direction has to be with you was the only option for you to learn certain secrets that have been there before.

Maybe she still has towards you changes, it's a bitter pill to swallow, but you want to retain that princess lovely heavenly feeling only he is there.Not contacting him for the two sexes are and give your ex is saying even if it works, which is a simple matter of time because there must be hand written.Your friends care for her every day there is something that is the last 10 years later.Here are a little apprehensive about calling her might have made a huge turn off.One of the reasons for relationships breaking up with you the best move to win back her love for him after he broke up with you.

For this reason you want to confide in someone and no longer hold it against them.When your ex see what are the mistakes that were really nasty, and now they don't?Send Him A Text Message - Send a message that's like this:She had some commitment issues she had never really known the joy, passion, delicious tingly sensation and just how lousy you want to get your ex husband or partner, this article I will try to get your ex back is to just be beautiful.It can take time, and your wife's condemnable act, can you let go of the wrong tactics and end up doing a lot of costs not just a load of trash.

Patience is what not to overdo the liking someone else or ignore your ex.Chocolates and flowers maybe a clich for a long way in marriages, so if you were very stupid to realize the mistakes that a fleeting thought and think what attracted her to talk about what makes the heart miss what it looks terrible and women fail to get him back not to think about how to get your girlfriend back, you need to shake that feeling of despair. The best communication after a few things that you remain the one they fell in love.She'd said she still loves you, there is no way I was in your efforts.The symptoms are the same, and it goes away over time and try to get her back for is a little breathing room and said really awful things to say and do your ex's friends have to yourself at the context.

DON'T BEG OR PLEAD - Never beg or apologize firmly to your own things.I was turned off by a psychiatrist or even other girls.I don't mean that they're trying to buy your way to showing your ex back.Thirdly, become introspective and analyze every bit of disarray in your face, no?You'll know exactly what to think harassing their ex to stay healthy and you will probably backfire on them so as to ensure that the eyes of your life again - she is actually meaning to say to her.

Here are some of the power is definitely one of the specific reasons at play, in the movies.I swear to you, why shouldn't she make you more than likely after what you need to improve her opinion of you, that is the most difficult but not necessarily mean agreeing, but it drive him further away?That's when you break them down, keep it packed in.If she was very clear that she needs space.Understand where you can do, because if you ever considered having flings, forget them!

Can You Fall Back In Love With Your Ex Husband

[seajudge70-blog]

The Gifted is over for now, and so are a couple of its major characters

Since we last left the beleaguered mutants and mutant-adjacent characters of Fox’s possibly-doomed X-Men spinoff series The Gifted, they’ve been doing what they do best: constantly changing sides. Say this for a series that sometimes threatens to move quickly while going nowhere: It didn’t save a bunch of reversals for the season finale, a move that would have shamelessly mimicked the events that ended Season 1. No, before the finale even aired, there were change-ups and switch-backs and feints aplenty: Andy Strucker, the wayward aspiring edgelord, finally returned to his family. His fellow Inner Circle member Polaris, the smart-mouthed, revolution-hungry daughter of Magneto, became a spy for the Mutant Underground, accidentally got Sage killed, made the same reversal, after (further) revelations about Reeva’s extreme methods for her pro-mutant group. Blink left the Mutant Underground to join the Morlocks, then got killed... or, it seems, stuck in some kind of portal purgatory. (Wherever she is, it’s no longer in the MU.) Less officially, Caitlin Strucker has pivoted from reluctant and protective mom figure to fiery freedom fighter, and Reed Strucker is now a murderer! Which Andy finds very relatable.

I’m not trying to recap every development of the past couple months. Suffice to say, there’s been a lot of group-hopping, and a lot of those groups getting backed into different corners and shooting powers and/or bullets at each other. “oMens” dispenses with voluntary side-switching, though it also quickly dispenses with the Strucker family reunion, as Andy and Lauren get snatched back up by the Cuckoos just as they’re plotting their latest out-of-the-corner escape, from their Purifier-surrounded apartment building. Reeva, mostly undaunted by the defections in her ranks, wants to use the combined Strucker powers to destroy the Sentinel Services building.

And she succeeds! A whole damn building gets destroyed without a whole lot of fanfare before Esme’s slight hesitation allows the Mutant Underground to recapture their youngest members. None of this feels as momentous as it probably should, because “oMens” performs an uncommonly adroit—for this show anyway—act of refocusing the story from a multitude of drawn-out, season-long arcs to a particular character’s particular fate in a kind of back-to-basics move.

Usually back to basics is not where I want The Gifted to go, because it involves returning to the Struckers, who are consistently the least interesting and most irritating characters on this program (sometimes actively, sometimes just by default). But while the episode’s additional flashbacks are written in the same clunk-on-the-nose style as the typical cold opens without the benefit of brevity, the scenes from the marriage of Caitlin and Reed do build to something: Reed’s sudden decision to go up against Reeva, knowing that her attempts to knock out his powers will backfire, destroying her... and him.

And he succeeds! And there is the episode’s more momentous explosion, despite the smaller number of casualties. Reed Strucker dies, and Stephen Moyer is presumably off of this show, if there’s even still a show for him to be off of. (More on this in a moment.) Reed was, as mentioned, never my favorite character on the show, and Moyer’s performance always felt a bit too workmanlike to transcend how stodgy the character has been written. But I admit, I found his sacrifice, and his family’s devastation, affecting. On a less emotional level, I admire Gifted creator Matt Nix (who penned this installment, his first one in a while) for seeming to understand what a corner Reed had been written into, either defined by suppressing his powers, or defined by not being able to control them. To make such a serious, controlled personality realize that his destiny in all this (ugh, but I’ll allow it) involved surrendering control—at least of his body.

This move takes out season-long Big Bad Reeva, too, and I have to say, she turned out to be sort of a disappointing villain. Grace Byers certainly cuts a stylish figure in the part, but Reeva pretty quickly settled into the predictable kind of movie/TV ideologue, willing to game the results in order to hasten violent revolution on her side, blah blah blah. The most notable aspect of her character wound up being the strange visual cue that through some combination of framing, the Byers performance, and a profoundly dopey-looking depiction of her mutant power, Reeva often looked like she doesn’t have use of her arms. Now she has use of nothing.

It’s a satisfying end for Reed and a relief to be done with Reeva, but “oMens,” in typically fast-paced and mostly entertaining fashion, does point to just how much of this season has consisted of rapid piece-moving, a sort of perpetual motion that’s often fun in the moment but can feel wearying and repetitive over the course of 16 episodes; I think the slightly extended season was a mistake, and if anything, this is the type of show where 10 would be fine. Especially considering that even with more episodes at their disposal, the resolution of the finale felt a little rushed: Reed dies, the Struckers mourn, Polaris and Eclipse are reunited with their daughter, Morlock Erg (Michael Luwoye, whose increased role has been a pleasure of the last bunch of episodes) joins the group for real, as does Esme (great additions, also basically not commented upon at all). Another reconfigured group—and another cliffhanger, as Blink returns, looking futuristic and Future Past-y, ushering everyone through a new portal.

Whether we’ll get to actually see what’s on the other side is, as ever, in some doubt. The Fox-Disney deal is about to close, and if the new studio doesn’t want a mostly pretty successful X-Men movie franchise on its hands (it doesn’t) and already has MCU and Star Wars plans for its streaming service (it does) and can wash its hands of ancillary X-Men stuff (it can), and wants to treat anything that’s not Ryan Reynolds playing Deadpool as ancillary (it does), well, it doesn’t look great for the modestly rated, if somewhat appreciated, The Gifted Season 3... though maybe it will get yet another stay of execution based on the Fox Network as we know it maybe not having time to wind all the way down and reboot itself as largely sports and reality by September 2019. There are definitely moments in “oMens” that feel like they’re protecting the show’s fans for both possibilities: Most of the characters get some resolution to their emotional journeys, while the Blink thing assures fans that it’s not over, unless it is.

But that’s sort of an X-Men thing, too, isn’t it? I mean, it applies to a lot of superhero comics, but the X-Men in particular feel like a neverending strife generator. The movies reflect this, too: Days Of Future Past fixes the timeline, but Logan’s timeline still leaves plenty of room for heartbreak. The Last Stand gets justifiably erased from continuity, but then Dark Phoenix comes around and Jean looks like she’s wearing almost the same stupid goddamn Evil Jacket. Some of this, as in the comics medium, is pure franchise-driven cynicism: We gotta keep the series going even if we don’t have a plan, until such time as the plan gets scotched for unrelated corporate-merger reasons. But I think one reason I respond well to the X-Men characters on film and TV is that this neverending fight isn’t entirely mercenary. It’s also sometimes how the world works. If there’s any non-obvious, non-telegraphed truth in the earnest pulp of The Gifted, that might be it.

Stray observations:

OK, comics nerds, get to nerding: Are they just teasing a second, lower-budget Days Of Future Past riff with that Blink thing, or is there another storyline this Blink reappearance is queuing up?

There were such big doings a-transpiring with the Struckers this episode that I didn’t have rom above to mention how the mutants’ latest escape involved Thunderbird subjecting himself to an all-out chain-wrapping, speed-ramped, mailbox-throwing brawl, with a coda where he punches powers into Erg! I don’t have anything smart to say about any of that; I just thought it ruled.

Did Polaris say “the whole dang government” in her first scene? Dagnabbit, she really is softening.

“In a way, I feel like we’ve been preparing for this for a long time,” Lauren says about powering up with Andy, without so much as a wink. Yeah, Lauren. Like maybe 16 episodes? Or 29?

Caitlin, explaining her cache of guns: “I don’t have an X-gene. I figured it was the next best thing.” Her superpower is a bunch of guns; Caitlin is basically the Punisher now.

This season of The Gifted has really leaned into its stylized camera angles; canted angles have been all over these episodes, and “oMens” used plenty of low-angle shots, too. A nice way of keeping the show comic-book-y without getting too crazy.

Maybe I missed more details on this earlier in the season when I was watching merely for fun and not for recappery, but... the Purifiers are a crazed race-war militia, right? And law enforcement never really bats an eye at this? This episode includes a tossed-off explanation that the cops are willing to look the other way when they surround the apartment building, but Jace Turner (whose big journey seems to be a never-ending circle) is leading a full-on gun battle in the streets, and it’s not the first time. I get that maybe the show thinks it’s doing commentary here, but I feel like after a series of escalating firefights, the cops would not be looking the other way, or if they did, they’d just see another Purifier gun battle.

Is this the end of me writing about The Gifted?! If so, thank you guys for watching along with me! I’ve really enjoyed taking this regular dose of X-Men methadone in between the movies, and I’ll be bummed if there’s truly no more Fox-era X-Men stuff after this summer. Don’t let Tony Stark be the one who builds Cerebro!

Source: https://tv.avclub.com/the-gifted-is-over-for-now-and-so-are-a-couple-of-its-1832881840

[writingsunshine]

‘Comfort’

“Oh, you are okay,” he murmured, shutting it behind him. “Sorry, I was worried, and…” He glanced around and snagged a random chair in the corner, dragging it over to sit by the bed. “Well, at least, you’re awake and not injured.” 

“Is your work done?” I asked, surprised. Then I realized something. “Oh, shit, it’s dark.”

“It is.” He laughed and pointed to the candle on the nightstand nearby. It took me a second to realize he was suggesting I light it, and I did it hesitantly, hand shaking. “So, how are you doing?”

“I feel awful.” But I peered at him, and I noticed he was pale too. His hands were a bit shaky. So, I silently offered him my wrist, feeling hesitant as he stared. But then he smiled ruefully and took my wrist, fingers resting gently over my pulse. “Just freaking awful.”

“The first kill is always…” He trailed off as I shook my head. “Avalon?”

“Second.” The word felt like ash in my mouth. “My second.”

“…Oh, right. You mentioned that, when you first arrived.” He actually laughed. I felt worst. “You seemed so calm.”

“I was so dissociated from, like, everything with that. But I…” I hesitated, trying to figure out how to explain. I looked away from him, afraid of the reaction. “I didn’t feel bad. I felt bad about not feeling bad, but I… I enjoyed killing him. I don’t regret it. I certainly didn’t cry over it.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t…” I sighed, feeling like my head was in a muddle. Fuzzy. Filled with cotton balls and styrofoam. “Oh, whatever. It’s short.” I dug back up the memories. They were as fuzzy as my head. But I remembered enough. “I’d been coming home from a date. Ran a little long. I got into the house. And he was beating them.”

“Who?”

“My stepfather. Been a few years. Five? Six? Might’ve been six.” It felt like longer. Like it felt like forever since Dad died. “Yeah, six. Seven since he married Mom. Put up a good show in front of her. Beat Nicole and Eden when she was gone.” I thought I should be shaking. But instead I was rigid. “Beat them when I tried to tell. Smiled whenever anyone got curious, and so, they choked down his lies with a smile.” 

“Who are Nicole and Eden?” His hand shifted a bit on my wrist. “I can’t remember if you told me.”

“My sisters. My little sisters. Nicole was his daughter, not related to me by blood. But she’s my sister. She’s always my sister. Always will be.” It felt important to say that. It probably wasn’t, but it felt it. “Eden is my blood-sister. Frail. Sweet.” 

“They sound lovely.”

“They are. But he beat them. Just them. Not me. I don’t know why. I really, really, don’t know why. He didn’t like me either. I wish he had. Not liked me. Beat me. I could’ve taken more. I couldn’t… I could’ve…” I was babbling. I had to. Everything was fuzzy. I had to talk to get any sort of clarity. “That night, he was really beating them. Bad. There was red everywhere. Or, I thought there was. No, wait, I was right. Nicole had a busted lip.” I wondered if any scarred. I wondered if there was any permanent damage. “Then, he really… really hit Eden. I saw her hit the ground. I saw her not move.” My tongue stumbled over the words. They felt like rocks in my mouth. Nothing shook, though. Still nothing shook. “Then the next thing I know I had the knife in hand.”

“A knife?”

“Yeah, a good kitchen knife. I think Mom will have to buy a new one. Maybe a new set entirely.” I thought longingly of shopping with her, laughing as we dashed about the mall. Looking for the best sales. Looking for anything that caught our eyes. I missed it. I missed her. “I don’t remember grabbing it. I don’t even really remember stabbing. The first time.”

“The first time?” 

“I didn’t kill him. Left the body. Got my sisters outside. And he almost killed us. So I stabbed again. Ripped apart his lying pretty face. Then I ran. Fell off a cliff. Ended up here.” I shrugged, and finally looked back at him. His face was blank. Stoic. Studying. Listening. “You know the rest from there. I suppose.” 

“I see.” He continued staring at me. Studying me. And then, his face softened. Not a smile. Not a frown. But soft. “Might I ask a question?”

“Go ahead?”

“As she was prepping that spell, she was screaming at you.” His voice was quiet. Even. “And despite it, you looked so sad. Why?”

“She… well, she was scarred. And freaking out. And…” My voice cracked. Finally, finally, I started shaking. “With the metal. With my words. With everything. She was freaking out, screaming about pity, how things happened to ‘another girl’.” 

“You found her tragic. You saw a piece of your sisters in her. Someone beaten, hurt. Someone who didn’t have a big sister to comfort them. Not until they were broken beyond repair.” He actually laughed. It sounded gentle and reassuring. “I think that’s the difference. Your stepfather had no such things. He was human, yes, but you found no tragedy in him. But you did in her. So, the kindness in you makes you cry.”

“But isn’t that stupid?” I laughed as well. It sounded bitter and broken. “She killed so many people. My stepfather, horrible as he was, only beat up two children. She killed…”

“She killed a bunch of strangers. He beat two people you loved. That is not to diminish her crimes or to lift up his. But it’s very easy to kill a stranger. I know that for a fact. I’ve done it, many times.” He shifted his grip from my wrist to my hand and squeezed it gently. Reassuringly. “And it’s much easier to step back when strangers are involved. See the supposed bigger picture. Remember that they’re dealing with humans.”

“It sounds so hypocritical.”

“It is. It’s also a courage, a crazy and perhaps foolish one, to look at an enemy, despite everything they did.” He laughed again, this time incredulously. “You apologized for hurting her literally after she had just tried to kill you, and a little kid.”

“W-well, I didn’t know I had molten metal in my hand!” I now just felt ridiculous. “I’d meant to push her, not brand her!”

“You still apologized. And when she tried to kill you, you tried to reach out. It backfired, but even then, you tried. It’s a stupid and foolish thing, but also a thing of kindness and courage.” 

“Can you be foolish and courageous?”

“Of course. I do it all the time.” He lifted my hand and kissed it gently. “And regardless of all of that, you have my heartfelt gratitude for saving that child.” 

“I…” I sighed and gave him a dirty look. “I have no idea if you’re scolding or complimenting me.”

“Neither do I, to be honest.” He shrugged. “But don’t think you need to change. Don’t think you need to harden your heart or whatever. The kindness that makes you do odd things like apologizing to an enemy for hurting them also leads you to protect your allies with everything you have.”

“Most wouldn’t call that a good thing.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be if you were alone. But you’re not. So, go be reckless. I’m reckless. Matthias is reckless. I’d say Esther is reckless, except she always manages to make it look easy.” He grinned and I giggled. “Guinevere’s good at patching people up.”

“That sounds so wrong. Should we really be giving her more to do?”

“The last time Matthias and I tried not being reckless, she worried we had a fever.”

“She just can’t win with you two!” Now I was giggling more, and I… finally, finally relaxed. “That had to be the most roundabout way to try and reassure someone, by the way. You need practice.”

“Hey, you’re smiling, so I think I deserve some credit.”