#but is she still a talented musician and writer? YUP

[highbythebeach666]

when a man who listens to the smashing pumpkins and nirvana but doesn’t listen to hole tries to tell you that billy corgan/kurt cobain wrote all of hole’s music, even though all three of those bands had different styles and they don’t know the history and courtney’s writing could have NEVER been done by a man.

[popculturebuffet]

Adventure Time: What Was Missing Review

We celebrate Bi-Visablity day with our first look at adventure time! We get our first true taste of Bubbline when the two are forced to work together along with Finn, Jake and BMO to try and get a door powered by music and honesty open to get their stuff back from a well meaning creep what stole it from them. Gay Subtext, Jake shapeshifted into billy idol and rpping off a childlike robot’s face insue. Quit the band and then rejoin the band when dramatically approriate under the cut. 

Happy Bi Visablity Day! As you can tell i’m running behind, real life stuff coupled with not finding about this day until yesterday, something that for obvious reasons won’t happen again but i’m not going to stew in it too long. Point is it’s a good day, a proud day, and a day I naturally felt the need to celerbate as i’m bi myself, and have tons of bi characters I like, as seen by the fact that the two big arcs I covered for pride both had a bisexual as one of the main leads.  However my pride reviews also left me in sort of a bind as i’d used up most of what was in my tank. Luckily I had a few ideas, and among them a review I INTENDED to get to for Pride Month, but my overestimating my own productivity meant some got shelved for later. SO let’s take this one off the shelf and talk about adventure time shall we?  Adventure Time was my faviorite show once upon a time, being one of the front runners of the second annimation renisance of the 2010′s, it wasn’t a hgue suprise.. but it did take me a while to go from casually watching it to REALLY obessing over it, similar to regular show. Like Regular Show while the show wasn’t bad, it was just okay, with creative settings and what not but fairly simplistic characters. Season 2 would sharpen the comedy and add a smidge of emotoinal depth but it was with that season’s finale the show really showed what it could do: IN the same show that earlier in the season had a snail hyjack our heroes house and the two agree out of the kidness of hteir hearts and wanting hteir house back to help him get laid, we had a deathless, relentless monster who was determined to kill everything and voiced by ron goddamn perlman, who nearly succeded in beating our heroes and did end up possesing one of them and killing her for about 5 minutes. It showed the show could really step up in scope when it wanted while still getting really fucking weird and funny.  So season 3 crystalized all that, still having tons of great comedy but also having episodes like Memory of a Memory, which not only gave Marcie’s rather sad and complicated backstory, or at least the first pre-simon part, and the infamous Holly Jolly Secrets where we found out local weirdo and king of incels and ice the ice king was actually once a meek researcher who put on a cursed crown and ended up slowly devolving into madness like something out of a john carpenter movie. The show really deepend the cast, while keeping tthe usual brisk tone and it paid off getting better and better, then backsliding a bit, then going back to better by the end.  I did slide out of the show after a while, but I never really stopepd caring about it and the last year really made me step back and remmeber how much I loved it. And this episode is one of those reasons and one of the things that made season 3 what really defined the show. It was also one of the gayest episodes in cartoon history, before other cartoons actually got away with doing more.  What Was Missing was written by future Steven Universe creator and all around Peach, Rebecca Sugar, who was part of why the show got so sucessfl and steered the ship for a few seasons before leaving to make Steven Universe and even more animation history. Seriously I can’t blame her for her current sabatacle: Whatever she does next is going to have the pressure to utterly change the game and no one wants to step into that right away after running a show for 6 years. So what makes this so great? Well let’s figure it out shall we? 

The episode opens with Finn going to get his secret hunk of Princess Bublegum’s hair. Yup. I’ve had troulbe parsing this because what he’s doing is entirely wrong. BUTTTTT it’s also a 13 year old boy, said hair is naturally just a wad of gum, and the show clearly show’s he’s embrassed by the fact he still has this and that the person who thinks there’s nothing wrong with this is Jake, whose the same guy who once did this to his brother. 

So while his longterm relationship shows h’es good with women he’s not a good judge of what’s approriate. But after teasing his brother and letting him know he knows about the hair, Jake offers to share his hidden possesion, his blankie.. before a weirdo with a key on his head comes in and steals the blankie, the hair wad, and BMO’s controller then creates a door in time and space and heads through.  Our heroes chase after this dude through his doors  as he steals a toy from a kid for.. some reason, it dosen’t quite synch up with his later motive, and something from Bubblegum, who comes with along with Marceline who seemingly has something stolen. Our quintent eventually chase the guy to a giant door that’s unopenable, the door of the door lords.  PB explains what’s up: The dipstick who stole their stuff was a doorlord, a race that she attempted to lockup long ago.. but found it impossible “Because their doorlords” aka because you really can’t keep someone in prision who can just make a door out of it and whatever magic they had she clearly couldn’t contain, likely because of her later established hatred of magic and most likely just calmed down after that to avoid escalating things further. Or something. Why they never showed up again.. I really don’t know. The concept, a bunch of mysterious beings that can fold time and space and don’t talk, and as the episodewill prove have good intentions but go about them in a bad way, is really good and given the show had 7 more seasons after this, and started to really pile on the mythology, I question why this bit of it never came up again despite being really intresting.  

Marcy chides her for not just killing them all, which is hilarious in hindsight to me. While they likely had’nt thought of it  yet, her later backstory has her committing genocide on all the vampires of Ooo, hence why she’s the only one we see until Stakes. It just adds a bit of probably unintend depth to the line: Her ruthless, carefree pre-character development self probably just thinks that’s the easiest solution without considering the fact some of them may be innocent because she rarley considers anything. Just good character stuff. 

So Finn reads the door which reveals the gimmick it has: to be opened it has to be a song sung by a genuine band.. and the genuine part is something I honestly dind’t think about first few times watching this, but is a nice hint at how to really get the door open. More on that later. Finn suggests starting said band since most of the mhave musical talent with Jake agreeing as long as he can be the group asshole. 

Marcy, being the one who’s a musician for an unliving, is naturally the first to take charge, to Bubblegum’s annoyance but she suggests a chill jam, with Jake taking on a british accent, because 50% of all assholes in media are british and because only in britan could you sell an ep of you and your bandmate/brother fighting. No really that’s a thing that happened, thank yout odd in the shadows for letting me know that happened. 

The best thing? This CHARTED.  So yeah our band is formed and Marcy suggests a laidback jam and putting on a decent one that’s a nice gentle song about burying people in the ground but seems to be nice.. then it becomes clear what it’s about, and why there’s so much danged tension between her and bubblegum with one simple line. And it’s always a credit to a writer when you can pivot everything with a line, it’s a skill most need. 

“I’m going to drink the red from your pretty pink face” Yeah there’s no real grey area here. This is about explicit as you can be with their former relationship without outright shouting “They were a thing once” Or having Marcy do an accoustic version of Jodeci’s Freak N You. Which is a thing I want now if anyone reading this has olivia olson’s ear, or if by some miracle she’s reading this in which case “Hi I really love your work also why in the hell are you reading this i’m not that good holy shit thank you”, please ask her to do that.  And now we get to why I chose this one: I admit I put this one on the backburner because, as far as I was concerned, it wasn’t on screen full died in wool gay content.. and I was wrong. You have to take steps to get representation, fight hard, kick and claw and scratch and bite to get representation into media, let alone CHILDREN’S Media because god forbid we show kdis that GASP gay people exist and would give them slightly less money to throw at their competitors in money fights I assume bilionares have. just fuck off with this shit already, christ it’s 2020 and most shows that have had gay characters have gotten tons of attnetion and conservative assholes protesting it only makes the rest of us aware it exists and more liable to check it out. Fuck off and do the right thing you fucking greedy, selfish, incosidrat emorons. 

That tyrade out of the way the point is representation takes time and Rebecca took a hell ofa risk to her florshing career pushing for this. You don’t get to steven universe without this episode, for a number of reasons, and you don’t get to all the other gay without an example to point to and say “see this works your being stupid,, stop being stupid and let us gay dammit”. So I felt this episode, and these two in general as we’ll get to in later reviews, deserved it’s fair due. 

Back to the actual plot, Bubblegum responds to this mildly flirty and remotley suggestive line. with “Marceline, that’s too distastful” Peebs.. she just made a suggestivish metaphor about wanting to make out with you, she isn’t talking about how good your vagina tastes. which is probably really good because bubblegum is delcious but that’ snot a line of discourse i want to get into now or ever.  MOre on this in a sec.  Marcy naturally dosen’t take this well, nor should she, and launches into one of the series greatest songs and one of rebecca sugar’s best work, which is saying something. “I’m Just Your Problem”

Olivia Olson deserves credit too: While Rebecca wrote and composed this amazing bit of music, but her delivery is great, keeping the same tone the whole time while still singing beautifully and conveing just how.. hurt marcy is, with the excellent animation complimenting it. Rewatching it is a joy and I wish it hadn’t taken me this long to get back to the song again.  It’s also a real tearjerker, in a way I didn’t even realize at the time, as the lyrics point out why Marcy is so upset with her: She’s frustrated with how PB seems to resent the fact that unilke her subjects she dosen’t worship her, she dosen’t do what she says.. befor edigging in deep, asking if THAT’S why she avoids her and really cuts both her and the audience deep with this line  “It’s like i’m not even a person am I?” The animation also deserves credit for a moment.. I didn’t notice it before rewatching the song a few times for this review.. but while PB starts and ends the song angry... around this part she looks hurt.. like for one moment her stoic, needs ot be in control, needs to be mature and queenly at all times mask is broken and she’s shaken by realizing just how much she hurt her. It says VOLUMES about what they used to be without giving us a full backstory and it’s wonderful. She still cares.. she just can’t express it properly. Marcy continues her muscial slam saying she dosen’t need to justify herself, and that she dosen’t need to apologize, and shouldn’t be as the gate almostopens.. only for it to stop when Marcy refuses to be open.  And that gets to the heart of why the two fell apart back then, whenever back then was and what’s obvious from here: Both have a habit of holding people at arms length emotoinally but both are such VASTLY diffrent people they couldn’t get through each others walls. For Marcy she’s immortal and has gone through a few hundered years of watching anyone she cares about die, loosing her mother, having her biological dad abandon her and be utterly terrible at actually connecting with her or being empathetic anyway, and having her surrogate dad slowly go insane and having HIM abandon her too if for her own good and then presumibly finding him later as a horrifying shell of his former self, and her ex boyfriend solkd the one reminder she HAD of said man and insulted her over it. She’s had a hard, devistating life and as we see her at this point she keeps people at arms length because she knows they won’t last, it taking some time for her to stop treating finn like a toy to play with and start treating him like her friend and realize that even with her immortality just jackassing around for hundreds of years willl only make her more miserable.  PB also does.. but it’s becaue she’s a very regimented person who belivies things have to be one thing, is utterly rigid in her way of thinking, and rules her people with a benveolnt cnady coated iron fist. She means well, can care about people and is better at forming connectoins despite knowing they’ll be fleeting.. but also has a bad habit of just.. not thinking about what others FEEL just waht’s best to them. She opresses her people, spies on them, locked up an innocent child instead of helping her or adopting her like she clearly needed, and tried to genocide a whole race of robots simply because they MIGHT be a threat to her world. PB at this stage needs things so structured and so her way, she forgets sometimes.. she’s wrong. Wheras Marcy sees her immortality as a curse and hides it behind a seemingly carefree nature, PB sees it as neccity but let it cut her off from other people, still brefirend and love them but hold them a ta distance so she could do the things that needed to be done, the work that needed doing ot insure her people surivive forever and she dosen’t outlive them.  Both have been left stunted by their immortality, and both were in no shape for a relationship, thouguh while I’m sure marcy didn’t help with her issues with honesty, PB probably did the most damage, both not wanting to risk something outside her perfectly consttructed bubble threanting things, and not being able to resist trying to control her lover instead of treat her as an equal. Thankfully both would get better and by present day the two are toegheter or about to be, and both in the place for that to actually WORK. But this shows sometimes relationships just dont work because your not ready yet.. but that you CAN get a second chance, and the one benfiit of being immortal is you don’t have as big a risk as dying without having that chance come up. 

But yeah this fails, and while Jake storms off, Finn tries to have a friendly pasta dinner to keep everyone left together, with Marcy going to get a hot pot for them, and plugging it into BMO which is neat.  It’s PB”s turn and she just tries harmonics and it ends up sounding like a worse version of that song bill and ted play at the begniing of face the music.. and THAT probably woudlv’e worked better. 

At this point everyone falls apart with Marcy spitting on PB, PB walking off in a huff and jake leaving because it’s that part of the true hollywood music story. Also he’s shapeshifted into billy idol, which is awesome.  It’s then we get the second song of the episode.. and one every bit as good as the masterpiece above. 

Finn laments what happened, in song because of course, before admitting how he just wanted htem all together.. and wonders if their even his friends.. as the door glows and he finally realizes what opens it: The truth. This is where the genuine hint comes back together.. the genuine wasn’t in talent.. itw as in emotoinal honesty.  I really haven’t talked about Finn a bunch this review, mostly because he’s mostly just trying to help and be earnest.. but this scene beautifully ties that together showing that deep down, Finn is bothered by how dismisive the others can be of him sometimes and wonders if he’s a “Joke, your knight or your brother” That sometimes he wonders if they care. It’s both relatable as hell and really fits the character, showing PB’s sometimes dismissive attidue of him REALLY bothers him, and Jake and Marcy are guilty of the same at times. He genuinely admits though that through all this.. their his closest friends.. and it’s a really sweet song and really shows what finn is at his core through all his developments good and bad to come: An honest kid who just wants the best for people, and cares about those around him.. and gets those around him to open up as a result. It’s a freaking powerful sequence, and Jeremy Shada acts the hell out of it and the nimation is beauitufl. Good stuff.  The door finally opens and we find out the Door Lord just did all of this to get them to bond and work on their issues... which as I said is well intentioned.. but in a funny bit they whollop him anwyay because you know.. he did so by stealing from them and making them solve a musical riddle. Who does that? BMO gets his controller back, Jake gets his blankie and Finn gets his wad of hair with PB giving out an OH you like this is normal and FInn rexamining all of his life choices. Don’t worry bud, your about to make some considerably WORSE life choices that will make these look midly better!  We get one last bit of Bubbline tease as it turns out PB’s item.. is a t-shirt marcy get her, complete with blushing. Yet there was STILL  vitroicllically insane crowd who swore they weren’t gay because htey wante dto pair either of them with a 13 year old which .. agian no. Just no. No no no no. We also find out Marcy had nothing stolen she just wanted to hang out and we end on her chasing them.  Final Thoughts: As you can probably tell, this episode is a masterpiece and easily one of the series best, and not only that.. but it’s better than I remember. I THOUGHT this would be a quick review but the two hours it took to get this written and the more and more I found in the songs to talk about said otherwise. It’s easily the episode that put the show on the map, with holy jolly secrets being tied with it in this regardf or diffrent reasons, and the one that showed just how far it came. The music as I gushed is utterly fantastic and we’d get more.. then suddenly none once rebecca Sugar left because they coudln’t find anyone else apparently even though that makes no sense. Point is the episode is beautiuflly animated, deeply trenched in it’s characters, and even has some really funny bits like the runner about jake being the jerk in the band. IT’s great stuff and I highly recommend it even if you’ve seen it before. If you liked this there’s regular Loud House Coverage every weeeknd at some point, and regular ducktales coverage every monday if you’d like to follow to see that, and more reviews on my tabs and you can comission one for 5 bucks if your intrested of any episode of any show you want. Until we meet again, Go team venture. Play us out jodeci. 

[thecomicsnexus]

Heroes for Hope

HEROES FOR HOPE DECEMBER 1985 BY CHRIS CLAREMONT, ANN NOCENTI, JIM STARLIN, JIM SHOOTER, STAN LEE, ED BRYANT, LOUISE SIMONSON, STEPHEN KING, BILL MANTLO, ALAN MOORE, HARLAN ELLISON, JO DUFFY, MIKE BARON, DENNY O’NEIL, GEORGE R. R. MARTIN, BRUCE JONES, STEVE ENGLEHART, MIKE GRELL, ARCHIE GOODWIN, BERNIE WRIGHTSON...

JOHN ROMITA JR, JOHN BUSCEMA, BRENT ANDERSON, JOHN BYRNE, CHARLES VESS, RICHARD CORBEN, MIKE KALUTA, FRANK MILLER, BRIAN BOLLAND, JOHN BOLTON, STEVE RUDE, BRET BLEVINS, HERB TRIMPE, GRAY MORROW, PAUL GULACY, ALAN WEISS, JACKSON GUICE, HOWARD CHAYKIN...

AL GORDON, KLAUS JANSON, JOE SINNOTT, TERRY AUSTIN, DAN GREEN, JEFF JONES, JON J MUTH, TOM PALMER, AL MILGROM, BILL SIENKIEWICZ, P. CRAIG RUSSELL, CARL POTTS, AL WILLIAMSON, SAL BUSCEMA, BOB LAYTON, JOE RUBINSTEIN, STEVE LEIALOHA, WALT SIMONSON... 

DAINA GRAZIUNAS, MARIE SEVERIN, BOB SHAREN, PETRA SCOTESE, CHRISTIE SCHEELE, MICHELLE WRIGHTSON, GLYNIS OLIVER, GEORGE ROUSSOS, LESLIE ZAHLER AND JANET JACKSON (NOT THAT JANET JACKSON)

SYNOPSIS

The X-men are attacked by a strange entity that makes them feel despair and end up going to Ethiopia to help people against the famine (and fighting this entity after a while).

OFFICIAL CONTEXT

CONTEXT BY CHRISTOPHER PRIEST

The most heated racial episode in my career occurred during Marvel's production of their charity book for Ethiopian famine victims. Promoted as work from "the top writers and artists in the industry-- the very best of the very best," profits from this effort were going to be donated to help the poor starving Africans. It was a truly noble effort, one the entire industry rallied behind (at least until DC decided to do their own book, thus dividing the talent pool along company lines). Denys Cowan dropped by and mentioned, amused, that he'd seen the list of talent working on the famine relief project. There wasn't a single African American creator invited to participate. This actually amused me tremendously, and I went over the list myself to make sure, but, yup, no blacks had been thought of as, "the very best of the very best," and none were invited to work on this book.

Tickled, I picked up the phone and called Larry Hama, telling him no blacks were on the list. Larry was hugely amused, and suggested we do our own charity relief book for the poor white trash of Appalachia. He and I howled with laughter, and then shook off the dumbness of it all and got on with our lives.

Only, a white staffer had overheard part of the conversation (I assume the notion of my "recruiting" Hama to do my "own alternate charity book"), and some warped interpretation of my conversation with Hama got reported down the hall to the X-MEN office (where the book was being developed). The editors became incensed and loudly demanded my head on a plate for, essentially, inciting the black talent to stop working for Marvel. I mean, this thing got blown to huge proportions, so much so that, by the end of the day, it was largely accepted as fact that I was organizing a walkout of black talent, and the EIC kind of put me and the X-Men editor in a room to negotiate a deal.

I just couldn't stop laughing. I mean, it was all so stupid. These were stupid people. It was extremely stupid to do an African relief charity project and not invite any damned Africans to work on it. It was even sillier for these stupid people to invent some massive protest out of a silly joke in a 30-second phone call with Larry Hama.

The X-Men Ed was not amused, and refused to believe me when I said I had no intention of bad-mouthing the project. I was invited to participate, but I just chuckled and said, "No affirmative action, please." And this just set the Ed off into a screaming match that could be heard everywhere in the office, "What is WRONG with you? Why do you have to make a RACIAL ISSUE OUT OF EVERYTHING?!?!?!"

It just got out of control, and the episode (along with my paying my assistant to stay home on MLK's birthday once it was ratified as a national holiday but Marvel refused to recognize it, other than the numbingly patronizing "We got us our own holiday" speech by Luke Cage in the VISION & SCARLET WITCH Miniseries) fairly cemented my pariah status at Marvel. Without saying a word and without actually doing anything, I was routinely assumed to be some radical activist who saw everything as a race issue.

I felt trapped in a world of loons. It was totally no-win, and I tended to simply withdraw from the office more and more, from people who, in my view, had now invented a justification to do what they'd been doing all along: fencing themselves off from me.

CONTEXT BY JIM SHOOTER

Pam had arranged for Oxfam America to receive our donation. Their reaction to our offer, at first, was what one might expect from people who had never seen a comic book up close: “Comic book? There’s nothing funny about famine!” Sigh.

For some reason Pam was determined that we should donate the money to them, though, and we convinced them that comics weren’t always comic. They still demanded to review the finished book before they would commit to accept our donation.

When the book was ready to go to press, we sent a mock-up to Oxfam America to review.

Their response was that they wanted nothing to do with it. Flat rejection.

Furthermore, they said that the book was unbelievably offensive and that we, the people of Marvel Comics, were racist, sexist and reprehensible.

When this was told to me by Pam and Marvel President Jim Galton I felt as if I were being called on the carpet. I was flabbergasted. I showed them the mock-up.

They didn’t see anything wrong with it.

Galton called the exec at Oxfam America we’d been dealing with to ask what their specific objections were.

Their response was that, while under no circumstances would they have anything to do with our project or with us, they would send an executive to meet with us and explain the many horrific, repugnant, disgusting elements that made our “comic book” anathema.

So they did. Oxfam America’s representative came to meet with Galton and me. The meeting took place in Galton’s office.

I do not remember the man’s name.

He was a nice-looking, thirty-something man. He had on a suit that probably cost more than my entire wardrobe. Designer shoes. He had on more gold and diamond jewelry than I’d ever seen on a human being. Jeweled watch. Cufflinks. Stickpin. Bracelets. A neck chain that would make a rapper blush.  Doubt me, go ahead. Discount by two-thirds what I’m telling you and you should still have an image of a guy wearing clothes and jewelry that at market price would feed a thousand starving people for a month.

After the greetings and handshaking, Galton, making conversation, said that he imagined that Oxfam America and other charitable organizations had, at least, gotten a lot of people to focus on the ongoing tragedy in Africa, and had inspired many efforts such as ours from musicians and performers and artists.

This Oxfam America fellow, let’s call him Midas, just plain gushed about how good for business the East African famine was, how donations were rolling in at record levels. He talked about the millions dying as if it were a great marketing opportunity.

Galton and I were stupefied. We couldn’t believe how thrilled Midas was that his business was booming.

Midas explained that the purpose of his visit wasn’t here to request changes or negotiate. He had come to save us from our own folly. He made it clear that Oxfam America had nothing but contempt for us and our work. He came as a favor, to urge us not to publish the abomination that we had created. He assured us that it would destroy Marvel Comics.

Right. Well, naturally, I wondered why.

Midas flipped through the mock-up. Again and again he pointed out black characters that he said “looked like Michael Jackson.” We were obviously trying to capitalize on Michael Jackson’s image and fame.

Michael Jackson in particular and the Jackson family in general were huge supporters of Oxfam America, by the way. Every drawing of a woman, he said, was sexist and exploitative. He was particularly offended by depictions of Storm, which he thought were more than sexist, a denigration of women of color.

I mentioned that the men were heroic and glamorous, too. Just like in the movies, stars tend to be good looking.

He pointed out a panel in which Chris had a carnival barker saying: “Yowza….” That, he said, was racist in the extreme. I don’t have the book handy, as explained above, but wasn’t that character Caucasian?

Moore and Corben’s pages? Yikes.

I cannot begin to tell you all the racism, sexism and hate that he (and Oxfam America) read into the words and pictures.

Wow.

The punch line is this: Midas accused Marvel of “stealing Janet Jackson’s logo.” He believed that the Heroes for Hope logo, credited to Janet Jackson, was ripped off.

I offered to introduce him to the designer on our staff who had created the logo, one Miss Janet Claire Jackson. He dismissed my obvious attempt at a cover-up.

No, really, we have a designer named…. Oh, never mind.

No wonder Janet Claire Jackson eventually started going by the name “Blog Elf.”

Finally, the lunatic left. Galton and I shared a moment of “what a jerk.”

Pam was instructed to find some other organization to which to donate the money. She came up with the American Friends Service Committee.

Heroes for Hope was a huge success. Thanks to our sales department, we got donations from downstream—distributors, retailers, even fans.

Can’t find the press release and the picture of me and Galton giving the AFSC honchos the PR “Big Check” created by our production department to symbolize the real check. I think the initial donation was $500,000. Much more came later.

It was a great thing. Jim Starlin, Bernie Wrightson, Ann Nocenti and Chris Claremont are great heroes in my book. Heroes for hope. There are people alive today who wouldn’t be without their efforts.

AND ABOUT THOSE STEPHEN KING PAGES

The non-comics writers who participated needed some help in most cases, which Ann and Chris provided. The biggest challenge was Stephen King’s contribution. I may be exaggerating here, but not by much—he gave us something like 5,000 words for three pages. Almost overnight, by the way.  Chris, Ann and I somehow cut that down to what would fit on three comics pages. 500 words? I forget.  Has anyone else ever had to cut out 90% of Stephen King’s brilliant words?

REVIEW

This was bound to not be a nice comic-book to review. The famine in Ethiopia at the moment had political origins that people decided to look over in favor of Live Aid and We Are The World.

Let’s just say that sending super-heroes there to help doesn’t guarantee a success (although they could have done something more against politicians, but let’s not go there).

The story is a bit abstract and the characters pretty much end up making sense of it without ever checking their facts (like the entity being a mutant and why it exists). The sequences about each X-man being tortured psychologically was too repetitive. By the time they end up in Africa (something that happens on a wild guess), the book is almost over.

The art doesn’t have a nice unifying feel. Something that could have been possible with breakdowns and less inkers and colorists.

But you know what? I understand why it had to be like that. This book was made ad honorem, and people did a great effort to just put the damn thing on the stands.

My other concern is that the X-men weren’t the right fit for a story like this. I understand they were popular back then, but these comics should attract non-readers as well (it’s for a good cause after all). And to be frank, things like Rachel Summers, Storm not having powers, Magneto being the leader... those are things of that time. Very hard to relate to. The Avengers would have been a better choice, or even Spider-man and the Fantastic Four (even if Spidey was looking a bit different at the time).

I like the message of not losing hope, and hope being the one thing keeping people alive in such tragedies... but then they kind of go back home. Leaving hope?

I don’t think the ideas in the book were brought down on something concrete or to keep thinking on. It is just confusing.

I give the book a score of 5

[artandteaandstuff-blog]

Kings and Queens - Part 22

Summary: Emma Swan is struggling as an actress. All seems lost until she manages to swing a spot on Kings and Queens, the most popular Medieval TV Show of all time. But here’s the catch: Emma hates being in love, and acting it is proving more tricky than she first thought. Her whole world is about to change, especially working alongside her new and mysterious co-star Killian Jones. It’s been so long since Emma has opened her heart to anyone. Could she start now?

Rating: T. But there is a chapter later in the fan fiction which blurs the lines a little. Apart from that, no other warnings

Can also be found here, on FF.net.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX | PART SEVEN | PART EIGHT I PART NINE | PART TEN | PART ELEVEN | PART TWELVE | PART THIRTEEN | PART FOURTEEN | PART FIFTEEN | PART SIXTEEN | PART SEVENTEEN | PART EIGHTEEN | PART NINETEEN | PART TWENTY | PART TWENTY-ONE

Author’s notes:

STILL THANK YOU  @electrictoes and @holdmecloseandfast.

Check out the amazing art @lucythemarauder created for this, right HERE. It is brilliant, go check it out!

@katie-dub made this gorgeous edit for my story, which you can see HERE. It’s so brilliant, check it out!

Emma has barely woken up when Henry is shoving the phone at her, mouthing ‘David’. Emma groans. She needs another three coffees and a shower before she can speak to anyone and form coherent sentences. At the very least, she needs some time to wake up. The late nights are really messing up her sleeping patterns again.

“What do you want?”

“You’re very hostile today,” David muses, amusement in his voice. He sounds too chirpy for so early in the morning.

“What do you want?” she repeats.

She pads into the kitchen. There’s a coffee waiting for her on the kitchen table, steaming and inviting. She smiles when she sees it. Thanks Henry, she thinks.

“You have an interview tonight.”

“Tonight? Bit short notice, David.” She picks up the mug and takes a sip. It’s perfect, exactly how she likes it.

“I know, I forgot. I’m sorry.” He’s grinning, she can tell. “But a car will be here to pick you up at seven. Be ready on time.”

“Yeah, I won’t forget.” She rolls her eyes. “What show is it?”

“The Teddy Norman show.”

“Teddy Norman?”

He owns one of the biggest shows in America. He’s Irish and a huge hit with all sorts of celebrities from actors to writers to musicians. She can’t think of a celebrity who hasn’t been on there. That’s how she knows she’s made it.

“Teddy Norman,” confirms David. “He asked for you. You and Killian, that is.”

“So it’s just… me and Killian?” She bites her lip.

“Yup. Anyway, I’ve got to go. Mary Margaret wants me to make breakfast since she can no longer bend down to get the plates from the cupboards.”

“Sure, I’ll talk to you later.”

“See ya, Emma. You’ll be amazing tonight.”

The line disconnects and Emma’s left holding the phone in a daze.

“The Teddy Norman show,” she says to herself as she places the phone on the hook. “Right. Okay then.”

Later on she stands backstage with Killian, bouncing in her heels, a little nervously. She’s not as scared as she would have been a few months ago, not after FWC, but this is still a big thing. The Teddy Norman show. Who’d have thought, huh? If the kids at the foster home could see her now.

“You’re beautiful,” comments Killian as he watches her. He’s wearing a suit and tie.

“Why do you always say that?”

“I say it because it’s true.” And then: “Nervous?”

“A little bit.”

“You’ll be fine.”

She looks up at him. “I know.”

They can hear Teddy warming the crowd up on stage, who seem excitable anyway, cheering and oooing and ahhing. “As you should know, this is a Kings and Queens special.”

“Ooooo,” say the crowd.

“Ooooo,” he repeats. “I know, right. I haven’t had Killian Jones on the show since the first series.”

Teddy Norman is a small man with a round face and a cheeky smile. He started off as a standup comedian and as his career went on, he did some acting. Now he has this show, the best chat show around. Over fifty, he has a beard and silver hair, but he still has that same charm that made everyone fall in love with him all those years ago.

Someone backstage with a headset tells them they’re on in five seconds.

Sure enough, Teddy calls, “You know him as Alexander, it's the suave, the cool Killian Jones everybody!”

Killian gives Emma a wink, an arm rub and disappears, running onto stage.

“Now it's the very beautiful, very talented Emma Swan!”

Emma follows Killian, in front of the crowd of cheering people. The crowd doesn't even faze her now. She's used to it. She gives them a wave as she makes her way over to Teddy (who kisses her on both cheeks) and sits down next to Killian. Two drinks are waiting on the table in front of them.

Teddy sinks into his chair. “Hello, hello.” He says as he slaps his knees. “Killian Jones, Emma Swan welcome. It's good to have you here.”

“It's good to be here,” says Killian, as smooth as ever. He immediately goes for his rum and takes a sip. Emma leaves her wine sat there for the time being. She doesn’t want to get too drunk too quickly.

Teddy begins by gushing about their show. He tells them how he watches it every week without fail and goes to every premiere. He loves all the characters, and he was so excited when Emma was introduced. Rose is an amazing character, he says.

They tease what’s going to happen next. They mention about next week where there’s going to be a ball. If people have seen the promo, they’ve seen Emma’s big red dress. Teddy shows them another trailer.

“It was the worst thing ever,” Emma tells him when he asks about the dress. “I hated it. It was too heavy.”

“But it is gorgeous,” says Teddy.

“Aye,” Killian agrees.

They talk about other cast members, and about what they’re like on set. By the time half Emma’s drink is gone, she’s starting to relax a little. Though she still feels starstruck because it’s Teddy Norman.

“Okay, so I might have done something…” he says, making a “whoops” face. “And that something might include fans.”

“Fans huh,” says Emma. She raises her eyebrows. Her and Killian exchange glances. Even though Teddy mentioned “fans”, Emma feels completely at ease.

“So I put a tweet out earlier in the week that I was having you two on the show, and I asked if they could send in questions for us. And I, uh…” He paused. “I may have said they could ask whatever they wanted, no limits. I may have said that.”

“Bloody hell,” says Killian, shaking his head, but there’s a smile on his face.

“But I think you’re going to like what I picked. I picked some good ones.”

“Go on then.”

“Okay so KillianLuver5eva has asked a good question here. Funniest moment on set?”

“Oh!” Emma snorts, “I have one.”

“Do share.”

“So Robin and Will-”

“- They play Lucas and Edward on the show, don't they?”

“Yeah, they do. And they always play pranks on Killian. Always. And this one time they nicked his pants while he was getting changed and ran out onto set with them.” Emma can't stop the giggles that escape her. “And he had to run out onto set without any pants.”

“For those who don't know, American pants are trousers.” He turns to them. “I have a lot of British viewers.”

“It was funny. Elsa, who plays Elizabeth on the show, took a picture and posted it to her Instagram.”

“We actually have the photo here. Do we? We do!” The photo flashes up on the screen, showing a slightly blurred Killian in his underwear.

“I like the polkadots,” Teddy comments. “Really I do.”

“Likewise,” says Killian. His smile is easy.

“We have another one here. From KingsAndCuties. She says, Can you imagine if Teddy asked them if they know what Captain Swan is. I think I'd die. Pretty sure I'd die.” Teddy looks right down the camera. ”Well, KingsAndCuties, RIP you.” He turns to them. “So do you know what Captain Swan is?”

“No idea,” says Emma, frowning. She’s not sure how she feels about Teddy’s excited expression, or the way Killian is scratching the back of his head and sporting a nervous smile.

“Killian?”

“Aye, I know what it is,” he admits.

“What is it?” asks Emma. She takes a sip of her wine.

“Go on, tell us,” says Teddy. “What is it?”

“It is…” He clears his throat with a low cough. “The Captain part of Captain Killian Jones - I have no idea how they know about that - and the Swan from… Emma Swan. Captain… Swan.” He throws a shrug in Emma’s direction.

“Because the fans want you together, don’t they?”

“It would seem so.”

“What do you mean they want us together?” Emma doesn’t mean to make her voice sound so defensive.

“Oh no, they don’t want you together,” says Teddy. “They believe you are together.”

Killain chokes on his rum. “Excuse me?”

“I take it by that tone you’re not?”

“Definitely not,” says Emma. She flushes.

There’s a smile on Teddy’s face. “Interesting of you to say that… Because we did a little search before the show and we found a website dedicated to proof that you two are actually an item.”

“You’re joking,” says Killian, grinning. He throws a smile over to Emma, who just gives him a look. She has to press her lips together to stop a smile.

She should be angry about this, or frustrated in the very least but she’s not. If anything she’s interested to hear what they’ve come up with. A website dedicated to proof that they’re together. She hasn’t heard anything so ridiculous in her whole life. What ‘proof’ could they possibly have?

“This ought to be good,” she says, sitting back on the sofa, folding her arms.

Teddy waves his hand and the website pops up on the screen. It’s a cream colour, with an exaggerated script font spelling out ‘Captain Swan’ in pink letters. There’s an image taken from the show where they’re gazing into each other’s eyes.

Underneath there’s a subheading:

WHY CAPTAIN SWAN IS REAL.

Killian and Emma exchange glances.

“Bloody hell,” he says under his breath.

“Now obviously I’m not going to read all the reasons,” says Teddy as he scrolls through. “There’s a lot of reasons here. Someone must have a lot of free time.”

“Too much free time,” says Emma between sips of her wine. She has the feeling she’s going to need a lot more alcohol for this.

Killian is leaning forward on the sofa, eyes fixed on the screen as Teddy scrolls.

“Some of these are very same-y same-y and I don’t think they count as actual reasons.“ He pauses to throw a look down the camera. “For example there’s one that says, ‘There’s so much tension on the show, they have to be a couple’. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s not a reason. That’s just called good acting.”

Emma snorts into her drink. The alcohol is beginning to go into her head now.

“But there are some others-” He’s smiling now, getting to the good parts. “Which I think might be plausible…” His voice raises a notch in pitch as he speaks.

“Go on then, mate. What have you got for us?” says Killian. “Bring it.”

“So according to this, you were spotted holding hands.”

“I don’t think so,” says Emma. “That’s a lie. Made up things aren’t reasons.”

“Ohohoh,” laughs Teddy. “There’s a picture.”

“No…” says Killian in awe. He’s leaning forward even more in his chair.

Teddy scrolls down a little to reveal a zoomed in picture of them actually holding hands. She recognises his rings. There’s another photo under it which shows the actual picture. It was taken when they were getting out the car at the con, and Killian offered her his hand.

“Nonsense!” shouts Killian. He’s grinning. “Slander! I was being a gentleman and helping her out the car.”

“A gentleman, huh?” asks Teddy.

“I’m always a gentleman.”

“Okay, fair enough, but how do you explain this -” He scrolls down again and up comes a picture of them in that dance before FWC.

How did they get that? Emma thinks. They get anything. Can’t she have any amount of privacy in her private life?

“Aren’t we allowed to dance?” asks Emma. She’s deliberately not looking at Killian, though his eyes are on her.

“Slow dance.” Teddy gives her a ‘I don’t believe you’ look. “And then you’ve both been spotted on the way to each other’s houses.”

“What can I say?” says Killian. “We’re good friends.”

“Emma even left your house in the early hours of the morning in the same clothes as before. It does seem a little bit odd…”

Killian raises his eyebrows. “Surely if we were together, she would have brought a change of clothes?”

“Perhaps, perhaps.”

“I have a message for the Captain Swan fans,” Killian says. Emma throws him a warning look. Teddy, however, looks amused. Then Killian looks right down one of the camera, eyes dark, his lips pressed together in a tight line. “I don’t hold Emma’s hand. The only reason she’s been at my house is for rehearsal. I’ll admit, myself and Emma Swan are good friends, we always have been. I can promise you wholeheartedly and honestly that we are not together…” His eyes twinkle in amusement. “Yet.”

Now it’s Emma’s turn to choke on her drink. “Excuse me?”

Killian gives a shrug and sips his drink, trying to stop a smile.

“You heard it here first,” says Teddy into the camera. “Just to clarify, you’re not together?”

“No!” Emma all but shouts.

“Okay well I believe you,” Teddy nods. “So onto other things. I want to talk about the size of your house, Killian.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Most people do.”

“I have some pictures here, actually.”

Teddy waves his hands and a picture of the outside of his house pops up on the screen. Even the screen doesn’t do how big it is justice, which she comments outloud.

Teddy flips through different rooms in his house, starting with the living room and then going onto the kitchen and other rooms. He even has a picture of Killian’s drinks cabinet, stocked with (mostly) rum. He goes through all the hallways, and comments on how clean it is.

“I know, right?” Emma mumbles.

Teddy points to the screen. “So this is the biggest bathroom?”

“No, it’s not the biggest.”

“Of course not. It only has -what- two baths and seven mirrors.”

“You should see the size of his bedroom,” says Emma, projecting her thoughts out loud.

“You’ve seen his bedroom? Kinda looks like you are dating,” laughs Teddy. The pitch of his voice raises a little when he says, “Awkward!”

“Emma fell asleep while rehearsing,” Killian explains, as smooth as ever. “I thought she could use a comfortable bed to sleep in.”

“And you happened to put her in yours, not the other seven?”

“Aye. Well, mine is the best, naturally.”

“And you slept…?”

“In one of the other bedrooms,” Emma is quick to clarify. “Y’know, since he has so many. At least he didn’t have to sleep on the sofa.”

“At least!” Teddy chortles.

Towards the end of the show they listen to live music by some band trying to promote themselves. They sit through a little interview with the band, who also comment that they love the show and they truly believed that Emma and Killian are dating. No-one seems to mention her kisses with Graham and she’s glad about that.

At the end of the show, Teddy thanks them for being there.

“It was a pleasure,” says Killian, shaking his hand.

And then they’re on their way, in a car and off out the studio. The more distance is put between them and that interview, the more Emma can breathe easily.

Later, Killian and Emma find a bar somewhere near the studio. She isn’t quite ready to leave his company yet, and Killian seems the same. He’s the one who suggested going for a drink (even though they’ve drunk plenty already), and he seemed surprised when Emma agreed.

“You were right,” she tells him, a little shyly, when he expresses his shock. “We are friends. Can’t I go for a drink with my friend?”

That made him smile. “Aye, love. I’m all yours.”

Now they sit in a dark booth at the back of the bar, hoping not to be spotted. Emma has taken Regina’s advice and found somewhere expensive and discreet. There aren’t loads of people in, but enough to hide them, and the lighting is dark. The only people who must know who they are are the bar staff, who keep replacing their drinks when they run out.

That must be why they’ve gotten onto such a dark subject, the endless supply of alcohol.

“I have… struggled with things in my past.” He scratches the back of his ear, a little awkwardly, eyes cast downwards. “Even now, I still struggle. Sometimes it's hard to find a balance. My brother, he's always helped keep me on my path.”

“Your brother, huh?” She downs half her drink in one.

“Liam. Why the tone? I know you've met him.”

She shrugs it off. She doesn't really want to talk down about his brother, not when Killian holds him in such high esteem. “Yeah, I have.”

“C'mon, Swan. What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Emma...”

“I just don't think he likes me very much.” She admits, finishing the other half of her drink. As soon as she places her empty glass on the table, it's replaced with another one.

“Nonsense. How couldn't he?”

“He saw an article about my past. And he… saw the pictures of me and Graham in the papers. And I guess he just…” She shrugs.

He's quiet for a moment. Then, softly: “That has nothing to do with him. Who you spend your time with is none of his business.”

Maybe it's the alcohol, but it takes a while for his words to sink in. When they do, they have a completely different meaning. “Killian, I'm not with Graham.”

“Perhaps not, love but that's none of my business either.” A jaw clench. A sip of his drink.

“He's just a friend.”

“And what am I?”

Emma meets the intensity of his gaze. For a moment, they just stare into each other's faces.

Finally, she says, “I don't know.” It's the truth.

“Graham is a better man than me.” His knuckles are white, wrapped around the glass. “I've made so many mistakes. Hurt so many people.”

“Killian…”

“Graham is worthy of you.”

“Killian, I don't want Graham.”

A crease appears between his eyebrows. “I saw you.”

“What?”

“You kissed him.”

“I thought you knew?”

“I did. The first time. But you kissed him again.”

He must have followed her home. Did he leave the blonde?

Emma takes a long sip of her drink as she thinks how to phrase her words. How does she get across that she is telling the truth? That she doesn’t want Graham. “Do you know why I kissed him?” she asks, keeping her eyes trained on his.

A shrug, a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Alas, I do not.”

It takes courage to say the next words. She knows as soon as they’re out, it will be a confession, something she’s kept too close to her heart all this time, something she’s only just beginning to realise. “I kissed him because you went out on another date with… that girl.”

“Tink?”

Tink. So precious. She nods.

“You were jealous,” he says. It’s not a question.

“I wasn’t, I just… I...”

He doesn’t look at her as he says, “I was jealous too.”

“You were?”

“I told you I was. It was maddening.”

She bites her lip, looking down into her drink, sparkling in the light. “Why?”

“Graham’s kissed you, Emma. He’s kissed you.” His hands tighten on the glass again as he brings it up to his lips and drinks deeply.

“You’ve kissed me.”

“That may be but it’s not the same, is it?” His eyes flicker up to hers, quick and embarrassed. “I’ve kissed you in a room full of people, all watching, waiting. I can’t even enjoy it because I’m too busy thinking about which way to tilt my head, or exactly where my hands should be. Do I place them on your neck because it makes you tremble or because it looks good?”

She doesn’t know what to say to that. She’s shocked. It’s almost like a confession. All of this is a confession. Dangerous ground. A minefield. She should tell him she’s going, that she has to get back for Henry even if it is a lie, but before she has chance, Killian is speaking again.

“And then there’s Graham. Bloody perfect Graham who just did it. Who just went for it and now has the pleasure of kissing you without a thousand eyes watching him do so. He can hold you just to hold you.”

“I-”

“I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, he’s a better man than me, Swan.” Killian shakes his head. “A cleverer man than me. If I had any sense at all, I would have done what he did a long time ago.”

She swallows.

“Why didn’t you?”

When he meets her eyes, his hold a twinge of sadness. “I’m long past taking things that clearly aren’t mine.”

“Milah,” she says before she can stop herself. It must be the drink. “No, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

She can see the emotions pass over his face: fear, pain, loss, and it makes her want to reach out, to touch his hand. She knows what Graham told her, but Killian can’t be the only one to blame. Not with something like this.

“Yes,” he says softly. “Milah.”

“She was Gold’s wife,” she says. It’s not an accusing tone. She’s not blaming him, she’s just stating a fact.

“So you’ve heard the stories then?”

“I’ve heard one side.” She pauses, tension in the air. And then: “What happened?”

“I’m going to need another drink for this,” he says softly, signaling the bar staff. They top them up with fresh drinks. Emma takes a generous gulp.

“What happened?” she repeats.

“I fell in love with her. Plain and simple.” He’s looking away from her, down at his drink like he’s ashamed. She can’t help it, she reaches out and places a hand over his. “I met her in a bar one night. She was drinking alone. A man was giving her unwanted attention, and so I fixed it for her.” A ghost of a smile at the memory. “She told me right then and there she was married, and I respected her wishes. But the next time I met her, I…” He shakes his head.

“You?” she prompts softly. Her hand is still over his.

“It was clear she was unhappy in her marriage. She was a great deal younger than him, but her parents pushed it. He was a friend of theirs. I suppose I just…“ He scratches the back of his head. “The affair lasted months, almost a year, and for a time I almost thought we’d gotten away with it. There were a few close calls but we always knew how to cover our tracks. Until...”

He’s silent for a moment but she doesn’t want to say anything and wreck his train of thought. She’s hanging on his every word, watching every twinge of pain that crosses his face.

“He caught us. He was supposed to be away on work, a part in some British Drama, but his flight was cancelled and-” He swallows. “I was in his kitchen, and she was upstairs. He knew as soon as he walked in. I was fully clothed, I could have made up some bloody elaborate story, but he knew. He could tell by the guilt written all over my face.”

She squeezes his hand gently. There’s nothing but pain and shame in his expression, and she feels a sudden need to comfort him. “I don’t think you’re a bad person, Killian.”

“You haven’t heard the worst of it.” He laughs, but it’s humourless. “She came straight to me before he had a chance to throw her out. For weeks we didn’t see him. We thought we never would.” His face darkens. His jaw clenches. “But he turned up with a gun. It all happened so fast. He was after me but she was the one who died.”

Emma’s free hand flies up to cover her mouth. Of all the things she imagined, she couldn’t have imagined this. She would never have imagined this. Her eyes fill with tears. “Oh, Killian…” She blinks them away.

“It’s okay,” he says, tense. “It was a long time ago. It went to court, but he managed to evade prison. He’s slippery that way.”

“How can you still work with him?”

“Truth be told, I didn’t know he auditioned for the show, let alone he was one of the producers. I badly needed the money. I was already facing eviction from my home. My family had loaned me all the money they could. I-” He takes in a breath. “- had a borderline drug addiction. I needed this role to survive. I’d always prided myself on my survival skills. So we buried the hatchet. We both had blame. The only thing is…”

“What?”

“I didn’t exactly bury the hatchet. I did everything I could to get him off the show. I thought if I took the role, I could destroy him. Exterminate him like the bloody... crocodile he is. So I sorted myself out, spent time in rehab during the filming hiatuses, and got myself back on track. I needed a clear head to get rid of him. I wanted him dead.”

“But he’s still on the show,” she says.

“I know. Every plan I had was foiled.” Another one of those ghost smiles crosses his face. “Though last autumn, I had a plan I knew would work. I was going to frame him. I’m good at things like that. I have connections. I won’t tell you the specifics - I don’t want you to think even worse of me - but it was foolproof. It was all going according to plan until…” He drops his eyes to the table.

She squeezes his hand again, brushing her thumb over his. “Until…?”

His eyes return to hers. “Until I met you.”

“Me?”

“You make me want to be a better man for you.”

Her face is slowly turning white. She doesn’t know how to process this, any of this. She can’t blame Killian, she just can’t, but that doesn’t mean she knows how to feel. She starts to move her hand away, but he holds onto it and flips them over so his hand is on top. He intertwines their fingers.

“Milah was my first love. My only love,” he says to their hands. “I never truly believed I would be able to … care for anyone else, not like that. And yet, here I am.”

“Here you are,” she says, barely audible.

“I’ve never told anyone that. About Milah. Liam knows, but he’s the only one.”

“And you trust me not to tell anyone.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Hopefully you won’t share such things during your intimacies with Graham.”

“Killian, I’ve told you before. I’m not with Graham. I never was. He kissed me and I kissed him back just to see, on a whim. But I…” She shakes her head. “He’s just a friend. A good friend.”

“I’d hoped so. After all, you don’t have a good ship name.” This time when he smiles, it’s more genuine. “Not like Captain Swan.”

Despite everything, she giggles. “I can’t believe they think we’re together.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Really?”

“What a completely stupid, ridiculous-”

He stops her words with a kiss. It comes out of nowhere, a complete surprise. A good surprise. But his lips hardly touch hers, before he’s pulling back, cheeks flushed and embarrassed, “I’m sorry, Emma, I shouldn’t have-”

She’s kissing him again before she can stop herself. Both his hands move up to her face, over her hair, as he slides closer, mouth soft and insistent on hers. It’s hot in the bar and dark in the booth and he’s kissing her and it’s better than all the times she’s imagined it. It’s better than the filming because it’s real, and it’s better than Graham because it’s what she wants.

“Neal,” she says when they break away. Her nose is still bumping against hers.

“Uh… It’s Killian, love.”

A breathless laugh. “No.” She moves back to look up into his face; into his eyes suddenly sparkling with a new light. “That’s my baggage. Neal. If we’re talking about baggage.

“Who’s Neal?” He asks softly, head tilting to the side.

“Henry’s father,” she says.” Killian raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t speak, urging her to continue. “He stole a couple of watches worth ten thousand dollars. We were going to take the watches and move away, start a new life. But he took off with the watches himself, and let me take the fall.”

“Bloody bastard.”

“And then there’s Walsh.” She takes a deep breath. She doesn’t know exactly why she’s being so open with him, but it could have something to do with the drink. It must be the drink. “We were engaged and he, uh, left me. At the last minute. Days before the date.”

Killian gently strokes her hair. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” She bites her lip, brows furrowing. There is still a twinge of pain when she thinks about him, no matter how thick she makes her skin. She finally opened her heart to him, finally agreed to marry him after months of asking, and then he left her. “I guess he didn’t want me anymore.”

“If I were that lucky, I would never let you go.”

She looks up into his face. He’s telling the truth. “I know,” is all she can say.

After one smouldering look which turns her insides to jelly, he’s kissing her again, pulling her as close to him as possible. He touches her gently, like he’s trying to memorise her, and it’s not too long before they’re tangled, wrapped up in each other in that little dark booth and it’s insane, it’s like she can see fireworks and she knows she’s too wrapped up in him. But here, cushioned by the blurring lines of alcohol, that’s okay.

For now.