#but is more than willing to participate
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Hobie: I want a husband
Gwen: Won’t it be hard to find one first?
Hobie: Says who
Gwen: Laws of Time and Nature?
Hobie: Fuck Nature. Miles, Marry me
Miles: Okay. Are you free later?
#Hobie is just like ‘Bitch watch me’#and Miles is more than a willing participant#punkflower#across the spiderverse
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SL Rag spoilers below
just another Haein ramble post don mind me.
Look man I love Haein as much as the next person but I feel like, even with the new content of her coming out (from SL Rag to Arise to the anime) she's still lacking in something of her character. And, as I began to look more into her I kinda saw that the main culprit of her characterization is that: She is perfect.
Too perfect, I mean she holds no flaws or anything that can set her aside from the rest (and no being an s rank and female doesn't automatically make her different), and even if she does she doesnt hold them to the extent that other characters might have them, or she just has the same thoughts as anyone else. Her personality as well never clashes with the other hunters or is too different, especially from Jinwoo-- and okay yeah that's expected bc trophy wife trope and all that– and in a sense I think this might derive from the fact that everyone wants her to still be stuck into this mold of “perfect wife + perfect mother” that doesn't have the same level of flaws as the rest.
She wants a comfortable life, like Jinwoo, she trains constantly, like Chiyeol, she is not burdened by trauma unlike Juhee who leaves the story or Jinah who actively tries to stop his brother at one point from entering dungeons (and stopping the MC? Clashing due to real life precautions and worries? And expanding on that? No sir we don't do that). She is strong but not too strong to be a threat (in their first meeting maybe but then Jinwoo just levels up in the castle and then bam stronger than her again) just like… yeah everyone else lol. She fights Jinwoo at one point but it's not due to some difference in thinking or to stop him from something, rather Haein just wants to spend time with him. And yeah despite wanting a comfortable life, or so told so far, she is still placed in the spotlight during her idol years, and has to deal with the most supernatural shit going on in her life constantly. She might be strong but she is still a damsel in distress, and her olympic background… I mean it's there.
I like the implication that she might have been stressed about appearing perfect during her idol life, especially pressured to do great by the adults around her just as she was pressured to be a maintainer of peace when she was an S rank (friend’s death and all), but that… doesn't get anywhere, and I admit Haein hinted to being stressed was only in the date scene with Jinwoo, the rest was expanded by Arise and Rag, still, still its not treated as anything else except ‘oh she is so camery shy’ and ‘oh she just wants a normal life being a normal wife’ (mind you Jinwoo is there as well but he even he doesn't see a problem with that except for when the cameras are pointed at him to which he just makes all the photos look black) and not, idk, dwell on the amount of pressure she would have been faced in since she was a child, the failure of not meeting those expectations in her past life and wishing to meet them when she was given the chance to become an s rank hunter, or how all of that constant training might have affected her life and social ties with other children who werent as talented as her. Or maybe how Haein has had to constantly keep people at a distance due to her nose problems, plus her almost never appearing in the news (so it was said during her hunter years, bc she had signed a contract with Jongin for this to not happen i think) leading everyone to not get to know her as well as the rest of the other hunters who were practically seen as celebrities.
No? None of that? Not even tackling the fact that olympic athletes tend to suffer from burnout, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, or how traumatic the double dungeon must have been since it was the first time Haein, an S rank, had ever come so close to dying (as far as we know in the og sl), and it cant be backed away with saying ‘oh that would be too complex for the story!’ when we’ve seen Haein trying to challenge her fears against Beru during the Ahjin guild arc.
It's also not needed for her to be so overly complex either, I was listing examples out of the many routes in which her story could be fleshed out more. She can have a small healing moment to herself or slowly unwrap the tolls of pressure she’s been under, and that would be enough, because tbh, she does deserve some time to breathe, as a character, as herself. For the most part she’s never alone, in every scene we see other she either is with someone (mostly a guy) or thinking about someone (90% Jinwoo), so seeing her outside of anyone’s interaction, seeing her go on about her daily life or her daily struggles, or seeing how Haein fixes her own situations without the reliance on others, that I think, would be more needed than ‘just more Haein scenes’
Arise has one scene which I like, her talking with Chiyeol after his double dungeon incident. Both characters definitely needed something like that in my part, 1) because it highlights Chiyeols maturity over the certain years he has been as a hunter, and 2) because it emphasizes Haein’s relationship with her teacher and how she’s not only learning to be skilled but also the pain that comes with losing your comrades afterwards.
And in Rag, though I find it way too absurd to the point that its funny that Haein has managed to protect an entire village, on her own, for the past 5 years, with daggers, in her 40s, no experience whatsoever in a fight unless it was also transferred alongside her memories, and also had no qualms in protecting the race of beasts that had once pose such a level of danger Jinwoo himself rewinded time itself— I do like her interactions with Sirka, and it posses such an interesting dynamic to see considering she is one of the few humans who has managed to maintain a connection and lived alongside intelligent magic beasts like he elves (Suho being the other which is… interesting actually when you think about it considering Jinwoo is somewhat yes and not on the list).
Again, she is so interesting in her own right, but the thing is that we never see her act alone or be solely in the spotlight, and don't get me wrong, this also goes from the other characters too. But with her I feel like too much of what she could be or experienced is brushed off too quickly or not given enough time to expand.
So anyways, I will like to see where she might go off from here foward, especially in rag, and the anime.
#Haein they could never make me hate you more than I already hated you in the past lol.#oof this post just brought back my anxiety over whenever or not Haein had been a willing participant in marrying jinwoo#cuz on one hand yah she loves him with all his heart in both timelines and jinwoo is perfect man TM so he would never do something bad to#her or hurt her#but on the other#if you had been in love with your normal. albeit mysterious friend since you were 13 only to find out years later that he was actually an#eldrich god with unphantomable powers that wrapped literal space and time. and had come from a different future and#met you in your past life where you were once a supercool hunter (but not now) would you or would you not be even a LITTLE bit scared of#what he might do you to you if you suddendly rejected him or angered him in the slightest?#and also we have to grasp the fact that she has never known Jinwoo the same way the reader has.#'oh but her powers came back after the kiss!' buddy.... solo leveling is filled with so many implications and not enough answers#solo leveling#cha haein#on the constant struggle of '''I like Haein as she is and as she is being presented in all forms of SL media!!''' and#'''I need to see her be a mess just once'''#solo leveling ragnarok#solo leveling ragnarok spoilers#solo leveling arise spoilers
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milgram characters sorted on what i think their stance on vriska would be (assorted thoughts under read more)
kotoko and fuuta would definitely have strong thoughts on the topic of whether or not vriska did anything wrong. i'm not 100% sure they'd both fall on the 'everything wrong' side of the debate, though?
shidou i think would see vriska's actions as necessary to survive
es WOULD see a girl even younger than them born into a bad home life and say she's unforgivable. i love them but i also know in my heart they would not forgive vriska
muu and vriska bug girl solidar8y. i'm right about this. you know i'm right about this.
#if anyone wants to discuss if the milgram cast would think vriska's actions were justified or not i'd be MORE than willing to participate#milgram#homestuck#es#haruka sakurai#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#muu kusunoki#shidou kirisaki#mahiru shiina#kazui mukuhara#amane momose#mikoto kayano#kotoko yuzuriha#jackalope#vriska serket#<- i guess?? i'll tag her for organisation purposes
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Graduation photos, episodes 161 and 167
#yugioh series#yugioh gx#pics#screencaps#judai yuki#part 6 of reposting things that never made it to tags because tumblr#161-167 might just be my favorite stretch of episodes in the entire series#now that i'm experiencing gx properly subbed and with more life experience than i had in 2008#my rediscovery of gx happened during one of the worst periods of my life#and seeing judai start to heal over those seven episodes meant something to me#hell it means something to me now#a reminder that things can get better#it's probably projecting but his pose in 167 says to me that he isn't totally okay yet#but he's still willing to come out and participate#where he had to be dragged out before#he's not all the way there yet but someday he might be#and in the meantime he's got it in him to wink and throw a thumbs up for the album#take a moment to engage with his friend behind the camera#instead of pulling away#as someone dealing with The Brainworms that can be a big difference#and i'm actively trying to get back to that stage#whoops tag essay
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65 / 62 / 71
#lela swift understands something fundamental about my psychological condition. which is to say. age gap fucked up couples on the stairs.#love is contained in the convo across the banister where i tell you to leave my house <3 muah.#burke/liz tag#➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure,miss winters.#compilation tag#okay. a)#the parallels between vicki and burke as the dark-headed poor kid that finds themself subject to collinses & Collins-ness & everything that#it represents. vicki who follows in his footsteps as imprisoned – endangered – almost *ran over* for the sake of the family.#who; perhaps despite their better judgment; *do* enjoy the charm; the noblesse oblige; the aura of...#call it doom. around the collins siblings.#(and as we know. ''devlin has a tremendous range.'' in terms of torch-carrying)#but the romance isn't precisely my point even if i'm more than willing to believe in b/e and r/v#but an older collins – one who is perhaps not directly involved in their ruination but a participant in it.#b)#while i was looking at the scene of burke on the stairs i was struck by a feeling of ''hey you shouldn't be up there''#and immediately was like. no let's unpack that.#the stairs are one of the most-traveled parts of the scenography other than perhaps the drawing room window or the sofa BUT it's excluded#to the in-group – the family; their intimates. you don't (or shouldn't) be ascending the stairs as a stranger; an enemy.#because it traverses the boundary between the public and the private – where the drawing room is already host to secrets;#to scandal; to a type of metaphorical undressing;#the upstairs is a different realm entirely. upstairs is bedrooms; bathrooms; the tower room. sleep – intimacy – privacy – death.#burke is already trespassing in enemy territory by being in the foyer – to go on or up the stairs peels back another layer of skin.#(and worth noting that liz successfully stops him from doing so)#there's so many good r/v scenes that involve the stairs precisely because it represents that boundary between the intimate and public;#between the idea of the house as a home and house as monument.#... which is a key contention between both b&e and r&v. burke who wants collinwood as conqueror wants the castle; a monument to victory.#elizabeth who sees collinwood as her home – as the place of her childhood – as the bricks and blood of her ancestors.#vicki who is desperate to find her home there past and present. roger who sees it as monument to collins misery –#to ancestors that look down on him with undisguised hatred – to his own inadequacy – to imprisonment – to the tomb.
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90s Raphael’s characterization between the first movie and the next two is interesting. Could make for a good fic.
I love Raph's characterisation across the 90s trilogy.
There are so many little things I could point out, but overall, I love that he's a little guy with big feelings! He doesn't always know what to do with them given he's a teenager with sensory issues and trauma. I love his strong convictions about right and wrong and justice and helping others and protecting his family and bystanders. I love watching this kid who spent fifteen years in isolation discover what he wants and fight for it.
Splinter tells him and his brothers their whole lives (as gently as possible) that the world above will never understand or accept them, but Raph carves out a place for himself anyway. He must have brought home so many strays growing up, and then he brings home three humans who change their lives. As he gets to know April, Casey, and Keno, he learns that he craves connection, a wider social circle than his family can offer. He wants people to know he exists. And we see how much he wants, but the price to have it is too steep. Because he can't reveal himself to the whole world and protect his family; he can't live in ancient Japan and have them, too. Despite so desperately wanting more, he chooses his family every time. I love when tmnt media and fandom explore these aspects of Raph.
My 90s fics tend to focus on how Raph is harmed by their conflict with the Foot Clan.
Sunset is my take on some of the missing hours between Raph's capture and rescue from Foot HQ.
Wrestling imagines how Raph might've broken down after the first two movies given everything he went through.
Thanks for the ask =)
#rewatched parts of the movies to help answer this and man i forgot how much i love 90s raph#i like to think he was a very weepy toddler/little kid who liked to snuggle#but at some point began to perceive that as a weakness and now he shouts and punches when really he wants to cry and be held#but! it's okay! because his family still makes sure he gets those things#in the first movie splinter can tell raph is upset when he comes home#so he calls him to his side to offer wisdom and comfort him#his brothers know he needs space sometimes and are more than willing to give it#but don still reaches out first when he sees how upset raph is about losing his sai#and you can tell raph is so uncomfortable stewing in stress and uncertainty#that sometimes he lashes out at leo or don or someone that will push back and start a fight#but there's this sweet scene when they come back from the farmhouse#where raph expresses frustration that they don't immediately set out to look for splinter#so leo calmly reminds him that they need rest and it does seem to settle his mind!#and all the bros are physically affectionate with each other and splinter and april#gah it just makes me very happy#that he struggles but has a loving family and that doesn't erase his struggles but they still help and love him a lot#both of these fics are from a raph-centric event i participated in back in march by the way!#raphael splinterson#tmnt 1990s#tmnt#my asks#whattrainofthought#writing off the rails
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Armand, explaining how he saved Louis: I was the defeated vampire, Mr Molloy. No one was looking.
Daniel: Uh huh.
Daniel is disbelieving as anyone would be because surely they would not leave Armand unsupervised if he was actually the one who had saved Louis during the trial. Surely they would make sure he didn’t also save him a second time from his coffin death. But of course, he did not actually save him during the trial. And why would they suspect the person who had directed the play?
#iwtv#if it even was armand giving louis blood in that coffin who even knows#but i’m willing to believe that part because he did have access and probably no one was looking because he was already helping them#and mostly because he’d figured out a way to turn it to his advantage with louis#who was now ’unburdened’ by claudia and could focus all his love toward armand#making him believe lestat was a more active participant in claudia’s death than armand was
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Going to eventually draw these but in game, if you ever find a Scout that says "MY WIFE" in text chat while running to a specific Sniper...
Or a Scout that goes "OFFENSE TEAM!" and tries to jock headbutt every Soldier and Pyro...
Say Hi if you wanna.
#The MY WIFE joke is said between me and one of my best friends who mains Sniper#so we just point at each other in game going MY WIFE#it's had some funny participation by other players#also love how every Soldier and Pyro have been MORE than willing to be part of my shenanigans#Tabi go to sleep#Been playing TF2 again and dragging friends back in#I also wear the Prinny hat and refuse to take it off
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no pressure but what's it like being raised in the bahá'í faith? I've read a bit about it before and then just reread some stuff upon seeing ur tags and it actually speaks pretty well to how I describe my relationship with religion as a Catholic raised agnostic (I think that all religions hold potential truths and that there's not really a truly fully "correct" religion) so I'm curious what it's like to actually live with it/the practices & beliefs ^^
(heads up: this got a little long)
I'd imagine its quite similar to being raised in other beliefs--the beliefs themselves just vary.
For context, my family joined the baha'i faith when I was 5, and I stayed until I was 15--which is the official age you can decide for yourself, and I'd already figured out I was an atheist (though I never did the paperwork, so officially i'm still counted in the census). So I've got about 10 years experience in the faith, though I've never been a religious person
Like you said, the Baha'i faith thinks there is a truth to all religions. There's one God and every so often he sends a prophet to remind us of his teachings--Abraham, Mohammad, Jesus, etc. The most recent is Bahá’u’lláh, born about 200 years ago, which is who Baha'is follow now--and will until the next prophet.
The faith is huge on unity; it's like the core tenet. We are the fruits of one tree and the leaves of one branch, humanity is a collective so we should be uplifting and supporting everyone--including people we disagree with. Which meant it was a very kind and supportive environment focused on mutual aid and service. Trips to the food bank to volunteer, visits to each other when in need, that kind of thing
Like in other religions, we did things on Sundays, meeting at the Baha'i center. There we'd have the toddler's classes (up to age 5), children's classes (5-10), junior youth (11-15), and then the adult sessions (which I never went to myself); this way everything was in one building at the same time. So growing up that just meant I'd be busy Sunday mornings and had to plan around that.
Every 19 days would be a feast day, marking the start of another month (there are 19 months with 19 days each). These would typically be held at a member's house, and they'd house their sector. It's pot-luck style and there people would read prayers, listen to music, and talk about the value of the month (each month has a different value--we just ended Mulk/Dominion). Things like why it was important, in what ways, how to incorporate it into our lives for the next 19 days.
Also I should mention--the Baha'i community is rather small. The religion is only about 200 years old, so it's a rather close-knit community here. We were friends or at least friendly with practically everyone, and there were few kids, so we all knew each other and grew up kinda together.
Feast is held in the evening though, which means the most consistent attendees are the older people--parents with kids had to be conscious of bedtimes and whether it was a school night, so my family didn't attend all of them.
Then there'd be the Holy Days--Naw-Rúz (New Year), 1st, 9th, and 12th days of Ridván, the twins' (Bahá’u’lláh and the Báb) births and martyrdoms, etc. Then we'd all meet at the Baha'i Center in the evenings, where there'd be a program, music, praying, and then we'd go eat--which was also potluck, but on a bigger scale. The faith originated in Iran, so a good portion of the community is Persian and a lot of the food I grew up with there was, too.
I don't think this is too different from what other religions do, it's just the specific Holy Days and what/who we're remembering that's different.
What was different for me--and for a lot of non-christian/catholic raised kids was the constant underlying knowledge that you're different. You don't see your prayers, your symbols (nine pointed star is the main one), your holy figures, your practices anywhere. You make christmas crafts at school and think: this isn't actually my holiday, but here I am anyway. And there's this feeling of wanting to say something, to distinguish yourself because you know people are assuming you're christian/catholic otherwise. Because it's the default and you're an outlier.
I have never met a Baha'i person outside of the center, outside of the people I've known since I was 5. Nobody knows what the Baha'i faith is, what it's beliefs are. Everywhere I go it's with the knowledge there's a 99% chance I'm the only one in the room--and the thing is, I'm atheist. I don't believe in any god, and yet because the Baha'i faith is such a minority it's important for me to still maintain that connection that separates me from the assumptions people make. Every time it comes up, I'm already prepared to explain because I know no one else knows about it, so to be Baha'i or former Baha'i is to be an ambassador, a resource as much as I can be even with my limited experience--because it's also not a closed religion. They love to spread the teachings and get people attending. One of the times my family hosted feast my friends who lived down the street came and we competed to see who could say the most prayers (though stuff to do with budget and that kind of thing is a little more for members only)
I'm kinda jumping around to think of other info, apologies. There's a daily prayer facing Bahá’u’lláh's shrine once you're a Youth (above 15), and that's also when you start participating in the fast. During the month (19 days) of Ala, you don't eat from sunrise to sunset. There's also the pilgrimage to...Bahgdad? Haifa? No one in my family has taken it, so I can't remember the location off the top of my head, but the point is there are locations of importance (like shrines and temples) in that area of the world where Baha'is' goal is to visit at least once in their life. One of the other kids I knew did a year of service after high school and went on her pilgrimage before starting college.
This has gotten a little long so I'll wrap up here but that was generally what it was like/what was up. Very community and service focused, very warm and friendly. It just meant certain days I had things going on others didn't (attending the Naw-Rúz celebration that evening, for example), and that it was always something I knew was different about my life compared to the community I was in.
This answer feels quite scattered and eclectic, so if anyone has any follow up questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer :)
#the baha'i faith#quil's queries#nonsie#i could tell you more about what we did in children's classes or share music or other things if you'd like#or share some of the writings/prayers and things like that#i am not the most knowledgeable former baha'i in the world because i was an atheist the whole time and didn't pay#as much attention as some of my peers#but. 10 years of weekly participation does leave me with SOMETHING#and I am more than willing to share for those who are interested
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Its crazy how much the adage "a lot of you would have gone crazy about WMDs un 2003" holds up time and time again
#i remember 2003 when there were these huge protests about the iraq war and how p much everyone in the country thot it was a bad idea#except the usual ghouls#and then i look at the american perspective and even seemingly progressive ppl were eager about the war and insisted on the whole wmds thing#im not saying that other western countries dont have a good amount of propaganda and whatnot#but i feel like at least in my circle ppl regardless of age and background take things regarding war with much more caution than americans?#even older conservative (as in right wing) ppl that i know share a certain amount of empathy and solidarity with palestinians#whereas when you see polls in the us a lot of usamerican boomers are staunchly pro israel#and from what ive seen readily willing to believe anything incriminating palestine or both sides type argument#maybe its because the civil war ww2 and the post war period is remembered/felt much closer for europeans than for americans#bc yeah the us has participated in many wars in the latter 20th and early 21st century#but its not stuff that has happened to them#like it wasnt their villages that were bombed their people killed their land razed#obvs im excluding a lot of history relating to indigenous and other minorities' struggle in america but you catch my drift
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The view my dad has of anime is very fascinating to me. I think from his perspective it's all:
Fantasy genre (which he doesn't like)
People yelling really loud (which he also doesn't like)
However I've tried to show him a couple of animes which have neither of these characteristics which he still didn't enjoy so I don't seem to have the full picture here
#maybe he's just kinda racist. lmao#i wish i could actually understand what puts him off. like i do notice that japanese media generally has a different overall vibe#but idk what about that exactly bothers him#he recently sent me a video of a guy recommending a usamerican show with an anime artstyle that's mostly a realistic interpersonal story#and he told me he felt like he'd probably enjoy it more than ''other anime'' and be more willing to watch it#bc it lookes more grounded and ''normal''#and it was so awkward bc stories being realistic with no fantastic elements at all usually makes it less appealing for me 😭#sorry dad i know you wanna participate in my interest by watching animated shows with me#but i find your taste lame and you find my taste obnoxious oops
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They can totally do whatever they want but I think the problem with that one was that no one knew who was going to be endgame and we just assumed it would be TC and yeah.. 😬 🤣
Also if I remember correctly the writer broke them up right when they were getting to the good part so there were def some hard feelings there lmao. All that buildup just for her to be with Kelley???? I was waking up for my 8am college classes with such an attitude for a while after that
yeah I mean I still sincerely think the writer did not owe anyone either the expected ending or a warning of where the story was going to go and i often think theres a sort of toxic entitlement to fic in fandom spaces which makes everyones experience worse; not just the writer but also the reader.
but then i also understand why it would piss people off and thats understandable. and i think that writer might be the funniest person alive.
#theres a conversation to be had about how like.#actual storylines and creative liberty gets a little sacrificed for audience expectations#which is partly just the nature of any serial fiction - which the majority of fic is.#like the reaction to a fic published all in one go where you have an unexpected ending/unhappy one is probably gonna be different#than if you've read it chapter by chapter over months#i know i've stopped reading fics for that exact reason#but there are fics i genuinely think would have been Better if the writer had.#i dont want to say had the guts because i think thats unfair.#but if they had been willing to go with the unconventional ending#and i mean the conventions of fanfiction to be clear#sometimes it can be soooo well written and thematically interesting#and then they'll be like And Then It Was All Okay Now.#which is finnnneee for what it is obviously#but you could have done something more interesting with it and i think you know that like.#sorry this doesn't need to be this serious lmao#itss jussttttt#its the same reason the 10+ anons in my inbox asking for specifics about the ending of pdd will not be getting answered. like.#skim dialogue and read the last page first if you like but don't expect writers to participate in that!
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I don't know, here's my problem with all that gratitude stuff people are always pushing
I'm here finding myself grateful for the really bad unexplained stomach problems I had for months that randomly flared up so bad I couldn't leave the house safely somedays (literally missed my last doctor's appointment cause it turned out that wasn't a day to be out and about)
Like unprompted, not as some kind of exercise or something, I find myself being like "yeah it may have royally sucked, but it really has helped me get a feel for how my stomach is doing so maybe I appreciate it"
Feel like that's fairly gratitude minded when you can find yourself being grateful for basically months of being sick, you know?
...so fuck off an let me be. If me organically being grateful for a painful time in my life where a lot of nights I'd be worried about going to sleep and dealing with issues so bad I was worried about how I was gonna be able to take this trip unless I got lucky... if I just on my own end up being grateful for that and still want to put a bullet in my head, maybe gratitude isn't a cure all
Maybe piss off with it, you know? I'm the first to say it's good to be grateful for shit, and frankly even walls (even when there's insulation issues) are a fucking blessing and I'll always thank my house for everything it does for me
Still not a magic bullet against depression and I get fucking sick of everyone talking like it is one... like if I just gratituded harder I'd feel better
#as always; this is why I have my no advice without being willing to help implement it policy#I don't get to tell people what to do to feel better#I just get to offer support and get stuck in with helping try to change things for the better for them in my small ineffective ways#and you know they may never feel better; and that would fucking suck cause they deserve to#but I'm not gonna make them feel bad for being open and honest about how they're doing#and I'll just keep telling them the things I like about them till maybe one day they can internalize it#and... and I'll keep trying to do the small things I can to help support them in making changes#or if at all possible directly participate in making a change for them#rather have someone be miserable and honest about it than ever try to spare my feelings#no I never want them to be doing bad but I'd rather try to just sit with them through it than make them sit alone#and I'd rather fix it all... but sometimes neither of us fucking can right now... and it's time to wait with them#had someone dealing with a real shit situation#and you know what? I knew the exact fix for the shit situation#but here's the problem... people can't do shit till they're ready and me trying to force it would have made it worse#so I just hung out and let them vent and repeatedly made sure they knew they were making sense; validated their perception of reality#made an introduction so they had more people around who'd be in their corner building them up instead of tearing them down#eventually they made the fix I knew was the fix all along and it hurt like hell to do it#and yet things started getting better pretty much immediately; cause it was always the problem#and if I could go back and do it again I'd do it the same; I wouldn't force the fix any sooner cause it had to be their choice#and frankly me pushing could have sabotaged shit#and it's still hard; and often all I can do is sit with them as they ride shit out right now and... I don't like that#I want to fix things in every way for them; they deserve that#but I can't... so I'd rather be with them as things are than make them repair everything so I feel comfortable#that's my opinion on all this#and frankly if you want to dig up my nasty bitter fucking side I try to keep tamped down#this shit is a good way to bring that side of me out#like fuck off; either you're gonna help or you're being a fucking busy body#and you can shove your advice up your ass cause spoiler I fucking tried it#I never stop putting one foot in front of the other and it's got me a house and I cleaned that fucking trailer#so how about you stuff it if you don't like how miserable I am
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"Is the flame there to be a source of energy for the practitioner? If so, an LED light will not suffice"
This is so interesting to me and I sat for probably almost 10 minutes rolling around with this in my mind because I think OP is right that you have to make considerations about things, about how our minds view the world and energy.
Someone made a comment about the battery being the energy to which OP responded "haven’t had much success using batteries as sources during spells. I’d be curious to test things out with different types of electric energy, though, and see how they compare."
You know this is so just so fun to think about tbh and as I can feel myself drawing closer to magic again I'm thinking about how in the 9 months I've been a little more apart from it I've changed enough that how I come back to it will change too. Maybe the chaos magic tempo finally caught up to me after rolling around in my brain for those 9 months and I'm thinking to myself that maybe in a more traditional practice than yeah fire would seem to be more powerful than an LED battery because our brains have a better grasp of the combustion that goes on with a flame than with a LED battery. How the warmth given off from a flame feels more powerful and more "available" to manipulate than the almost nonexistent hum from a LED battery. How throughout different traditions the concept of "energy manipulation" or energy work in general is so different. It's easier for me to talk to a flame than a battery, the flame feels more alive and more like it's willing to participate with me in the working than a battery even though I know that a battery actually has more potential energy.
This post was really great and it's really got me thinking about how differently people can all approach the same concepts. How our brains all work so differently and in turn shape the way we connect to magic as a whole and then wield and shape it.
Thinking about the role of the flame in magic. When it's not available, sometimes people recommend to replace a real candle with an LED candle or some other form of light, but that is very ineffective. We need to consider the role of the flame in the context of the spell and working.
Is the flame there to be a source of energy for the practitioner? If so, an LED light will not suffice. The flame could possibly be replaced by something like a jar of water which has been shaken in a circular fashion to create a spinning motion, thereby generating its own kinetic energy. An LED light, despite drawing power, does not draw sufficient power. I also believe the sense of movement of the flame, which draws the mind to it, is a factor (which, if there is movement in water, would also service this purpose).
Is the flame there to cleanse? If so, it can be easily replaced with smoke, salt, water (in certain situations, but for newer practitioners I would opt for the other two).
Is the flame there to destroy? In this case, other methods of destruction can be substituted, such as ripping, smashing, cutting, dissolving, etc.
In some cases the flame serves multiple functions, in which case using multiple substitutions at once is necessary.
The hardest to substitute, in theory, could be when the flame serves to be itself: the element of fire. Thankfully, most of the time, we have access to the biggest flame of all: the Sun.
#hopefully OP doesn't mind my little ramble because man tbh this post is the first one that really got my gears going#for the first time in literal months#even writing this little response up it made me realize that I tend to include things that I can approach in a more animistic way#like saying that the flame is more willing to participate than a battery#but I also find myself wanting to get into using computers and tech stuff in magic because I find myself feeling more stretched thin#and electricity *feels* like it might have the *potential* to give me more bang for my buck in some ways
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A Puddle in Running Shoes A.H.
summary: your boyfriend finds out you have a praise kink and is having way too much fun with that information
masterlist
pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
warnings: some suggestive content, hotch being a menace, reader having a praise kink, end suggests something may happen but nothing explicit in this one folks im getting my libido under control swear, also count how many times r refers to hotch's face as stupid im crying
wc: 1.9k
You hated running. No—loathed it. Detested it. Despised it with every fiber of your being. If there was a stronger word, one that captured the burning, irrational rage you felt whenever someone suggested going for a jog, Spencer might have known it, but you couldn't bring yourself to care enough to ask. Simply put, running was not your thing.
But when Aaron—your boyfriend and somehow the most persistent man alive—asked you to join you on a run, you couldn't exactly say no. He didn't beg—Aaron Hotchner did not beg—but his version of asking, that soft it'd mean a lot to me paired with an encouraging smile, was close enough to begging in your book. Besides, you figured there'd be some sort of reward when you got back home. Aaron was good at those.
So here you were, contributing absolutely nothing to your marathon-obsessed, fitness-loving FBI boyfriend's training. Sweat coated every inch of your body, your legs felt like lead, and your lungs burned with every ragged breath you managed to suck in. The sun blazed overhead, making you feel more like a roasting chicken than a willing participant in this so-called fun activity.
Aaron, on the other hand, looked like he'd stepped out of a fitness ad—shirt clinging to him in ways that felt outright scandalous. Even the sweat on his face somehow made him look even more attractive.
He was at least ten paces ahead of you and every few steps, he'd glance over his shoulder, probably checking to make sure you hadn't spontaneously combusted or snuck off to find an air-conditioned cafe. Honestly, both were real possibilities.
Aaron's pace slowed until he was running beside you, throwing you a smile so unfairly handsome it made your legs feel weaker than they already did.
"How are you feeling?" The question felt retorical—anyone, profiler or not, was sure to be able to read you like an open book right now. "Still alive, or do I need to start figuring out the best way to carry you home without breaking any traffic laws?"
"I think I'm alive," you managed between gasps, wiping sweat from your brow. "But if carrying me is on the table, I'm not above playing dead to make that happen."
"Not necessary—I'd carry you anyway, if only to reward you for keeping up this long. You're doing great."
You foot caught a crack in the pavement, nearly hurling yourself into it, but Aaron's hand was there quicker keeping you upright as you tried to ignore the terrifying way your body had reacted to his compliment.
"Okay you can't just say stuff like that while I'm trying to run," you blurted out, avoiding his gaze. "You're trying to kill me, I swear."
You planted your hands on your hips, still trying to catch your breath, secretly relieved to have a break—even if it almost involved a face-first meeting with the sidewalk.
"Stuff like what?" He tugged at your ponytail and you swatted his hand.
"Nothing," you said way too quickly, shaking your head like you could physically toss what you said aside. "Forget I said anything. Let's just... keep running."
You quickly realized your mistake as soon as you started jogging again. You would never willingly suggest to keep running. Unfortunately, Aaron was actively aware of this, moving to come up beside you. You didn't need to look at him to know he had the stupidest smirk on his face.
He didn't say anything at first, to your immediate relief, just kept jogging beside you. The silence stretched on, his calm breathing only seeming to make your wheezing sound worse.
"You're breathing too shallow," he said after a moment, his tone completely casual like he wasn't even winded. "Try to take deeper breaths—match them to your strides. It'll make it easier."
You glanced towards him out of the corner of your eye before attempting his suggestion. You had no intention of letting him know that it worked. His ego was far too substantial for that.
"See? You're a natural," he said, shooting you a sidelong glance. "Atta girl."
Your brain flatlined and you almost tripped over your feet again, every rational thought replaced by static. What was wrong with you? You vaguely remembered reading somewhere that people with unresolved daddy issues were prone to developing praise kinks. Was that what this was? Whatever the reason, hearing Aaron talk like that shouldn't make you feel all gooey inside, but here you were, a puddle in running shoes.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, yup, fine!"
You stared at the ground so intensely, it was a miracle you didn't bore a hole into the pavement. Your voice had betrayed you, far too shaky and way too rushed, and you knew Aaron was probably filing away every bit of your reaction.
"Hey," he said softly, his hand brushing against the back of your neck as he spoke. "Stop staring at the ground. You'll run better if you keep your head up—it'll open your chest so you can breathe easier."
His hand lingered for a second too long than what your body could handle, leaving you completely flustered and fighting every urge to do exactly the opposite of what he said.
"There you go," he murmured, a small, approving smile tugging at his lips. "That's good, honey. Just like that."
His voice—his god forsaken voice—was like a jolt to your system, and not in a good way. Or maybe it was a good way, which was the problem. It was bad enough to hearing it out here, on the jogging trail, but your brain decided to replay it in an entirely different inappropriate context: one that involved you, him, and a bed.
Your face burned, and you couldn't tell if it was from the exertion, or the very real possibility that your body was too receptive to those words. And now, not only were you fighting for every breath, but you were trying to figure out if the dampness between your legs was entirely from sweat. Surely it was sweat. Right? Gods, you hoped it was sweat.
You stopped so suddenly that Aaron jogged a few steps ahead before he realized you were not longer beside him.
"Okay, I'm calling it. I'm done. Can we please go home now?"
He jogged back to you, an easy smile on his face, and placed his hands on your shoulders as he reached you.
"Alright, we can be done," he teased, thumbs brushing lightly over your collarbones. "You survived, and you did great. I'm proud of you."
He leaned down then, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your lips that made the ache in your body a little easier to ignore.
When he pulled away, you barely managed to keep standing.
Aaron let out a low laugh, his hands squeezing your shoulders. "Alright. What's going on? What's wrong with you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," you said over your shoulder, practically power walking towards the car.
Aaron's laugh deepened and you ignored the funny feeling curling in your chest.
"Sweetheart," he said, gently tugging your elbow to slow you down. "Come on, talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about, I'm fine!" You avoided his eyes as you tugged your elbow free. "I'm just tired, and, uh, need a shower."
A cold shower, your brain screamed, but you shoved the thought down.
"I know, I know you're tired," he said, lips curving into a smile, "but that's because you actually pushed yourself. I'm proud of you for sticking with it."
You were pretty convinced you were you were about to go up in flames. Your obituary would read death by too many unnecessary compliments. When your heart inevitably gave out, Aaron would have to explain to Rossi and the others how his dumb smile and sweet words had resulted in second degree manslaughter.
But then you saw it—the smirk. The one that said he absolutely knew what he was doing.
"Oh my gosh, you know!" You groaned and threw your hands in the air. "You know, and you're enjoying this!"
Spinning away from him, you stormed to the car, and slammed the door like it might shield you from his stupidly smug face.
You barely had time to exhale before the passenger door swung open, revealing Aaron, casually leaning against the car.
"You know," he said lightly, his tone far too casual for your liking, "slamming car doors isn't a great habit. You could hurt yourself."
"And you know," you snapped back, pointing at him, "torturing your girlfriend isn't a great habit either!"
He leaned in slowly, his fingers brushing against your shoulder as he grabbed your seatbelt. As he clicked it into place, his face lingered close to yours.
"I wasn't trying to torture you, baby. Just wanted to give you the chance to admit it—that you liked it."
Before you could muster a reply, Aaron's hand slid up to cradle your face, his thumb moving along your cheek. He leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that was so deep, leaving you no choice but to sink into it, even as the faint remnants of your annoyance tried to surface.
By the time he pulled back, you felt like you were under his spell. Then, without another word, he shut your door and headed to the driver's side.
"That's not fair," you muttered, crossing your arms and pouting as you stared out the window.
Aaron's hand found the back of your neck as he backed out of the parking spot, rubbing gently into smooth circles.
"I don't mean to be unfair," he said with a small smile. "I just needed to hear it, because sometimes people don't even realize what they need until they say it out loud. And I wanted to make sure I didn't misread anything—though I'm rarely wrong, as you know."
"Trust me, you remind me every chance you get." Your tone was dry, but you were well aware that the twitch in your lip was giving you away.
"Alright, smartass," he said, chuckling as his fingers pressed a little firmer into your neck. "Now tell me—how does it make you feel when I say those things to you?"
You groaned, burying your face in your hands. "I don't know, okay? I just... like it! Do I have to explain it?"
"You don't have to explain it if you don't want to," he said, "but I'd like to know what it is you like so much."
Aaron's hand moved from your neck to your hand, his fingers sliding between each of yours while his eyes stayed glued to the road, a thing that only came from months of familiar motions.
You let out a long breath. "I don't know. I just like hearing it. It makes me feel good. Special, I guess."
"You are special, sweetheart." His eyes flicked to you before returning to the road. "You're my best girl."
Your stomach flipped violently. You shifted again, trying to disguise the way your thighs pressed together tightly as your face burned hotter than ever. The debate earlier in your head was officially over—absolutely not just sweat, you thought miserably.
Aaron let out a soft chuckle, fingers brushing over your knuckles. "Something I said?"
You swatted his shoulder, your glare losing all its bite thanks to the flush all over your body. "You're enjoying this way too much."
"I can't help it," he murmured, voice dipping just enough to get you on edge. "But don't worry—I'll take care of my best girl once we're home."
You slumped in your seat, muttering something unintelligible that made Aaron chuckle again. And even though you wouldn't admit it, you found yourself smiling, already dreading and anticipating whatever he had planned when you got home.
taglist: @readergf @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179 @malindacath @broadwaytraaaaash @sunfyyre @sleepysongbirdsings @trulycayla @crouchingapple @navia3000 @aaronlovesava @bakugocanstompme @pansexualhailstorm @averyhotchner @looking1016 @everythinglizzy @sky2nd @alexxavicry @spencerssatchel @candyd1es @storiesofsvu @pleasantgardenwitch @kodzukenmaa @hiireadstuff @dilflover-3 @spennciesslut @phoenix-le-danseur-de-pole @jstcln @just-here-to-read13 @c-losur3 @wondergal2001 @oliver-1270 @ssahotchbabe @savagemickey03 @justanotherbimboslxt @imoonkiss @estragos @khxna @de-duchess @raysmayhem-72 @piinksdoll @justyourusualash @whimsicalpolitical @kcch-ns @cool-light32 @reidfile @sugarbutterbailey @ssamorganhotchner @persephonestears @moonyxstars @spookyysinsanity @proxxyshouse @spoolsofgreenspoolsofblack @imsonotweird @jungchloe @she-wont-miss @duchesz @may-machin99 @historicallyweirdandqueer @in-the-kosmos @lcvealwayss @p13rc3-th3-m4tt13 @babyhoneybyhs @reire11
join my taglist here!
#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner x fem reader#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotchner x reader#fluff#criminal minds fluff
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Our Stance On Gen-AI
This year, for the first time, we've had a couple of reports from bidders that the FTH fanworks they received were produced using generative AI. For that reason, we've decided that it's important that we lay out a specific, concrete policy going forward.
Generative AI tools are not welcome here.
Non-exhaustive list of examples:
image generators like Imagen, Midjourney, and similar
video generators like Sora, Runway, and similar
LLMs like ChatGPT and similar
audio generators like ElevenLabs, MusicLM, and similar
Participants found to have used generative AI to produce a fanwork, in part or in whole, for their bidder(s) will be permanently banned from participating in future iterations of Fandom Trumps Hate.
Why?
We understand that there can be contentious debate around the use of generative AI, we know individual people have their own reasons for being in favor of it, and we recognize that many people may simply be unaware that these tools come with any negative impacts at all. Regardless, we are firm in our stance on this for the following (non-exhaustive) list of key reasons in no particular order:
negative, unregulated environmental impact
Over the years, you may have noticed that we’ve supported multiple environmental organizations doing important work to combat climate change, preserve wildlife, and advocate for renewable and sustainable energy policy changes. Generative AI tools produce a startling amount of e-waste, can require massive amounts of storage space and computational power, and are a (currently unregulated) drain on natural resources. Using these tools to produce a fanwork flies in the face of every environmental organization we have supported to date.
plagiarism and lack of artistic integrity
Most if not all generative AI models are trained on some amount of stolen work (across various mediums). As a result, any output generated by these models is at worst plagiarized and at best extremely derivative and unoriginal. In our opinion, using generative AI tools to produce a fanwork demonstrates a lack of care for your own craft, a lack of respect for the work of other creators, and a lack of respect for your bidder and your commitment to them.
undermining our community building impact
One of the best things to come out of the auction every year—we can't even call it a side benefit, because it's so central to us—is that bidders and creators form collaborative relationships which sometimes even turn into friendship. Using generative AI undermines that trust and collaboration.
undermining the value of participating as a creator
Bidders participate in Fandom Trumps Hate for the opportunity to prompt YOU to create a fanwork for them, in YOUR style with YOUR specific skill set. Any potential bidder is perfectly capable of dropping a prompt into a generative AI tool on their own time, if they wish. We hope all creators sign up with the aim to play a role more significant than “unnecessary middleman.”
In general, we try to be as flexible as we can in our policies to allow for the best experience possible for all Fandom Trumps Hate participants. This, however, is something we are not willing to be flexible on. We realize this may seem unusually rigid, but we ask that you trust we have given this serious consideration and respect that while we are willing to answer clarifying questions, we are not open to debate on this topic.
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