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3terna15unshin3 · 1 year ago

Text

Then Because She Goes

Beautiful, please don’t cry, I love you

★ Chapter 3 of 15, 5727 words

★ Matty Healy x Original Female Character

★ warnings: alcohol consumption

<< 2

7 September, 2018

trumanblack: Agreed but also why does it control my entire life

trumanblack: I liked it tbh the simplicity of the writing was very charming and I liked its views on adhering to social pressure and blah blah blah

trumanblack: But towards the end Keiko drove me up the wall honestly she started getting sooo unlikeable and I was like Im running out of empathy

este.manansala: Omg especially in LA. That place is a fever dream

este.manansala: I’m glad u liked it at least a little bit !!!

este.manansala: That’s interesting tho bc I am a firm believer that a main character doesn’t need to be likeable to be a good character

trumanblack: No fr that’s why when I’m here I feel like I have to actively resist the gravity of every single LA resident turning me into the same caricature of a human that they all are

trumanblack: Hmmm I guess

trumanblack: But sometimes I feel like reading is inherently like a self-inserting practice even in third person perspectives so I can’t help but disconnect when I don’t fuck with the main girl u know

este.manansala: Yeah no I get it

este. manansala: I feel like a lot of female characters are deemed unlikeable for the same reasons male ones are sympathised with

Este pressed ‘send’ on the message as she thought back to her conversation earlier, with the customer looking for classics. She definitely used Matty's point about likeable characters to sell Emma, and completely understood where he was coming from; but she wanted to give him a hard time. She felt inclined to be playful and make him laugh, for some reason.

trumanblack: Ok damn

trumanblack: You’re right

este.manansala: I know :)

trumanblack: I’m part of the problem arent I

este.manansala: Probably but I’ll let you off the hook x

este.manansala: Are u gonna give me a book of essays to read now??

trumanblack: Wait I actually will

trumanblack: I read this collection called You Are Here: Art After the Internet by Omar Kholeif bc I saw someone on the train reading it and it was so good

trumanblack: I named the new album after one of the essays in it lolll

este.manansala: It seems very meta to be telling me to read that over instagram dms

este.manansala: I’ll try and pick it up tho!

este.manansala: Busy in LA?

trumanblack: It is meta that’s why you should read it

trumanblack: And yeah we need to have the final masters submitted for in 2 days so it’s go time

trumanblack: Just living in the studio pretty much

este.manansala: What are u doing messaging me in the middle of the day then like get back to it

trumanblack: Fuck off I’m eating lunch rn

trumanblack: What were you doing not responding to my message for weeks then????

este.manansala: … soz

este.manansala: Honestly never check my dms so i didn’t see it

este.manansala: Until I went to message you about Love It If We Made It bc it’s my favourite song of the year so far

este.manansala: Like actually

trumanblack: Este don’t say that if you don’t mean it :(

este.manansala: I’m being serious

este.manansala: I fully wrote paragraph about how much I like it and was about to send it your way and then I saw u messaged me first

trumanblack: That means so much. Really

trumanblack: Thank you x

trumanblack: But also u can’t just admit that and then not show me the paragraph. Like send it over pls

este.manansala: Yeah no way lol

este.manansala: Must keep the mystery alive somehow

Este finally looked away, for now. Her lower back was sore from sitting on their hard wooden chairs for a little too long, so she decided that it was a good time to get ready for bed. But, before she could, a buzz of excitement scraped goosebumps into her skin as Cate’s keys jangled in the door, eager to fill her in.

“Hey!” screamed Cate from the hallway, still out of sight from Este. The project for her biggest client of the year had just begun, so her hours became a bit unpredictable and she often arrived home late.

They caught each other up on how their days went, Este glad to hear that work was going well and Cate being particularly excited that Matty had reached out and taken a liking to her.

“It really isn’t anything crazy, we’re just talking about books and stuff,” Este tried, although a small flutter in her heart knew she was lying and that she ultimately was excited to even reveal it to Cate. “He’s just a cool guy. Really smart and friendly.”

Cate’s eyebrows raised, unconvinced. She dropped her coat into her room before reentering the main area to start the kettle. “Is he just a ‘cool’ guy or is he a ‘hot tumblr singer in a band who slid into your DMs’ guy?”

Este cringed at her wording and threw the mushroom sitting on her plate from dinner at Cate playfully. She dodged it in disgust.

“Just a guy, Cate. And he didn’t ‘slide into my DMs’, I just gave him a book recommendation and he told me what he thought of it,” Este argued.

“Whatever you say, babe,” she entertained. “It is kind of hot that he reads, though.”

They laughed as Este agreed, and they both headed off to bed.

✴ 18 November, 2018

To Este’s surprise, she and Matty continued to casually chat. It was mainly book talk; their personal lives only coming up occasionally. Neither of them expected responses to be consistent, especially with the busy pre-album schedule of Matty, who was now back in London. His work was also a reason why they hadn’t gotten through many books, him taking much longer to pick up anything Este shared, but the conversations were thoughtful and worth coming back to.

It was a struggle to find any titles Matty mentioned because of how obscure they were. Can this guy get any more pretentious? Este thought as she furiously searched for a copy of You Are Here: Art After the Internet online when they first messaged each other. Still, over a month later, she couldn’t track one down—not even on eBay. Matty thought he’d never hear the end of her complaints.

The chill November breeze came through Greenhouse quite frequently during Este’s Sunday shift. A mild autumn day with crunchy leaves scraping against the pavement seemed to always be busy for the book shop. The weather and aesthetic was perfect for the activity, leaving the store with a more frequent customer count while Este was busy dealing with an angry woman over the phone (the post lost the copy of Sapiens they’d ordered for her). It ate up all of her energy and left her on edge for the rest of her shift. So, when she felt a buzz coming from her phone and saw what the notification read, panic ran through her veins.

[este.manansala] trumanblack: Are u working today

Este’s eyes widened as she registered what the message most likely meant. There was no context, no ‘hello’ to preface, no warning—but in her gut, she knew. Matty is in town.

The frazzled state she was in only got worse as her mind thought of every awkward experience she’d ever lived and convinced her that seeing him again would out do them all. Using the term ‘self-destructive’ to describe her mindset was an understatement. Este couldn’t figure out what made her so anxious about facing Matty.

Thinking deeper about it, as she couldn’t distract herself this time around (despite the handful of customers she’d checked out since seeing his message), Este realised the nerves’ origin. He wasn’t just Matty like he was last time stepping foot in the shop—he was Matty Healy.

She tried not to let that change things, but it did. It brought on a certain reluctivity within Este’s messages. Never completely committing to being 100% herself when speaking to him—she defaulted to her ‘casual cool girl’ persona that she usually stored in her pocket to pull out in times of need.

She was scared that it would reach a point where it meant more to her than it did him. His face was on billboards that greeted Este on her way into work every day. The singles leading up to his album were at the top of the UK charts. Este couldn’t let their collection of DMs and developing friendship be an exciting thing in her life when it was, without a doubt, miniscule in his.

The longer she spiralled about it, the longer Este put off replying to his message, only getting to it a couple of hours before she had to close the shop.

este.manansala: Yea what’s up

She couldn’t think of anything else to say, so the three word response would have to do. Maybe it’s too late for him to stop by, she secretly hoped, loosening up her worries and busying herself with work once more.

After Este witnessed multiple customers sneeze near their poetry bay, a Swiffer duster insert found itself in her hand as she wiped away the thin layer of grey gunk atop the shelf. She hummed to herself as she dusted, not even realising that the melody she conjured up was the tune to one of Matty’s songs.

It was dark now, thirty minutes until close, and nobody had come in for around an hour. The crazy day was thankfully coming to a close; Este’s anxieties subsided after assuming that what she had endured would be it for the night. But, she assumed too soon.

The small, new wind chime Sam hung from the door just a few days prior made its twinkly exclamation.

“It’s not too late to come in, is it?”

Este turned to see Matty. It was actually him.

She smiled and wormed her way around the maze of bookshelves between them. “For you, yeah. Get out.”

Their eyes finally found each other and Matty spread his arms out, offering a hug. Este accepted and wrapped her own around him, just above his shoulders, as she felt his drop to her waist respectfully. He isn’t very tall, thought Este. And he smells good.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Matty sarcastically responded. “How’ve you been?”

They stood face to face in the open area by the front of the store.

“Good.” She nodded. “Same old, same old, really. I don’t have a massive album to release in two weeks or anything.”

He laughed quietly, taking off into the shelves. His steps were slow and calculated to sustain his attention to their conversation but his eyes scanned the book titles. “I guess that’s what I’ve got in the works,” he admitted. “It doesn’t feel like it’s that soon, though. I don’t think I’ve accepted the fact that it’ll just be out for people to hear,” he explained, pausing his movements for a second to pull a book off the bay and study the back cover.

“That one’s shitty. Read it last year.”

Matty raised his eyebrows at Este and placed the book where it belonged, in defeat. The trench coat she first saw him in was hanging off his body lazily. The tie-belt skipped one of the loops behind his back, and one side of it dragged drastically lower than the other along the floor. The coat’s square pockets were full and sagging.

Este followed his path as they continued through the shop, Matty repeatedly grabbing books to beg her blunt opinions. Every one he chose so far resulted in it returning to its place on the shelf within seconds of escaping. She knew the place like the back of her hand.

“What are you doing in Manchester, anyway?” she wondered.

Matty stopped and turned to her, flipping through another novel, this time satisfied with what he found. Shrugging casually, he responded, “Visiting a mate for his birthday, dinner and drinks at Head of Steam. Thought it would be more fun but it was sort of a drag, to be honest,” he complained. “Too much dinner and not enough drinks.”

“I was just about to ask, what sort of dinner and drinks end before,” she clicked open her phone to check the time. “…7:36pm.”

They both laughed and Matty shook his head. “Yup, that just about describes how exciting the event was.”

The book in his hands happened to be another Este had read, this time one she was fond of. “You should read that one,” she commented. “It’s new. Not sure how we managed to stock a used one already. I think you’d really like it.”

Matty continued flipping through it, stopping a couple of times to focus on certain pages, without saying anything. Suddenly, he sank down to the floor and sat comfortably, leaning his back against the shelf behind him. His legs were outstretched in front of him, straight, his feet almost touching the shelf opposite because of the cramped nature of the shop.

“Care to join me?”

He patted the patch of carpet next to him, and Este obliged. She sat on the floor next to his feet, laying her legs out like his were, and faced him as he studied the novel. Her phone lit up with the reminder she always set when working, making her aware that it was five short minutes until close. Usually, Este would take this time to ensure the shop was tidy for Sam to be greeted with the next morning, close up the register and deal with the float inside it. But, none of that crossed her mind with Matty sitting opposite her.

“On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous,” Matty read. “What an interesting title.”

Este couldn’t stand that he was opening the novel to random pages and reading content without the important context, so she jokingly reached forward, laying her hands beneath his and forcing the book shut for him.

“You know books are meant to be read from the beginning, Matty.” She left them there for a second before pulling them away, Matty following her instructions and setting the book down in his lap.

“I always skip to random parts in books before I read them. Lets me know what I’ll be getting into,” he defended.

“That’s blasphemous to me. Especially with that book, because Vuong, the author, is a poet as well. Every sentence feels meaningfully placed,” she rambled.

“Wouldn’t that also mean that they stand well on their own? If every line is like poetry?”

“I guess, but that’s not the point. The context holds the weight of his words. When I read it, at least, I’d come across something that felt really powerful. And I’d just think, wow. That’s the point he was leading up to. That was the whole purpose of the pages of words beforehand. But then, I would read the following line, and suddenly that became the purpose. And it just never stopped metamorphosing, like he carried me through the book in the same way he made the revelations himself.”

He looked at her with fondness as she chewed on the inside of her cheek. Matty could see the passion on her face and smiled in response. “You sold me. If you talk about all books like that, I understand why you sell them for a living,” he complimented.

Este leaned forward and pretended to bow. “My work here is done,” she joked. Her job being brought up prompted her to check the time again, seeing 8:02PM looking back at her from the screen. “Shit, it actually is. I have to close the shop.”

“Oh, sorry—”

“Don’t worry. I stay late all the time, just have to lock the door and flip the sign,” Este started, without thinking, as she got up from her spot on the floor to walk to the front. “That’s if you want to stay. You don’t have to, if you have somewhere to be, or if its weird to be locked in a bookshop on a Sunday night or something,”

“I’d love to stay.”

✴

She only kept two lamps on and then sat back down on the floor, not wanting Greenhouse to look too welcoming and inspire people to try and come in. The door was bolted shut, and On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous hadn’t left Matty’s grasp. Este wasn’t sure why she hadn’t offered him to sit at the table in the back room, but something felt natural about wedging themselves between the shelves. The carpeted floor was comfortable.

“I’m actually going to buy this from you, buy the way,” he clarified. His right foot was crossed over his left and slightly grazed Este’s left arm that fell next to her body.

“I’m not taking any money from you, Matty.”

“So I’ll just make you keep the shop open late and then steal an item from you?” he protested.

“I borrow books all the time, Sam doesn’t care. I’ll just tell him I let a friend borrow it.” She was being serious.

Matty accepted her offer, and thought about the item he brought in his pocket, debating on whether it was appropriate to even bring it out. It was oddly personal and he found himself doubting his idea, even though he didn’t think twice about it when leaving his flat earlier that morning.

“I can return the favour, then.” He pulled out his copy of You Are Here: Art After The Internet. The pages were yellowed and there were blue tabs messily sticking out of the side of it. Este realised what it was, shocked to learn that Matty was lending her his copy. “So you can stop complaining about not being able to find one.” He took Este’s hands that were resting in her lap, unravelled them to put the book in, and closed them back up to force her to hold it.

They made eye contact for a couple of seconds. Matty had never noticed how dark and straight her eyelashes were. They framed her eyes well.

“For me?”

Matty nodded.

Este fanned through the pages with her thumb, seeing every page for a split second. She noticed pen marks accompanying the printed text and wondered what each blue tab stood for.

“I see you’re the annotating type.”

“It’s cathartic,” he replied shortly. “Please don’t judge what I wrote, though. If you read anything stupid, just assume I was high, or something.”

To her, it felt like he was lending her his diary. She couldn’t imagine letting someone into the thoughts she had while reading a book, let alone the impulsive and quickly crafted ones worthy enough to be scribbled into the margins. It was an intimate act.

“This is really sweet of you,” she vocalised. “Now I feel like I owe you my copy of On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous instead of letting you borrow the shop’s.”

He raised his eyebrows in interest. “So you’re an annotator too?”

Este nodded and smiled. “I marked it up quite a bit, actually. It’s not here, though. It’s back at my flat.”

“Well, do you live far?”

✴

She rushed through her closing duties as Matty browsed some more. Her arms slipped into her fleece-lined denim jacket and her mind raced, trying to fathom the fact that he was about to be in her car (and later, her flat). As much as things had been easy and flowing naturally until now, the dilemma she considered earlier in the day still haunted her.

He was panicking almost as equally as Este. Suggesting they should go back to hers was a chaotically forward thing to do, and Matty instantly feared it would come off wrong. They both weren’t sure why they agreed, but did anyway. It felt wrong to end the night there.

Eventually, they were walking down the street together to get to her black Honda Accord that had gone far too long without a wash. Their conversation remained sweet and light, finally gracing the basics of getting to know each other.

“I went to school in Wilmslow, though. That's where I met the guys and when we formed the band,” he explained.

“This whole time I thought you grew up in the city.” She acted shocked. “You call Manchester your hometown. Liar.”

Este clicked the button on her car key and the headlights on her car flashed. Matty went around to the driver’s side to open her door for her, flashing her a smile. She smiled back. Chivalrous, she thought.

“I moved a couple times. I don’t know what my hometown is, really, I give a different answer every time—but it feels like home here. I just say I’m from the North of England. Wilmslow, Cheshire, Macclesfield, Manchester. Whatever,” Matty said, securing his seat belt and tucking the strap underneath his arm. “You grew up here, yeah?”

Her finger tucked an unruly strand of hair behind her ear as she carefully pulled into the road, before responding. “After I moved, yeah. On my seventh birthday I spent the whole day on a flight over to London from the Philippines. But I only lived in London for a couple of months before me and my mum and dad moved to Manchester.”

They drove in the dark, Matty asking her more questions about life in the Philippines and what it was like to move over. Este brought up her grandmother and how she and her husband stayed in London after finding a nursing job she didn't want to say no to. “My nan was my best friend growing up, so that was probably the only thing I didn’t like about Manchester when I came over. That she didn’t come along.”

Matty shoved his cold hands further into his pockets. “Speaking of your nan, actually,” he started. “On the plane to LA in August I was so bored out of my mind that I started organising the files on my computer. Then I found this picture.” He opened his phone, clicking on his iCloud files and scrolling through to find the photo.

Este interrupted before he could. “You can’t just say ‘Speaking of your nan…’ and then furiously search through your phone without explaining further!” she impatiently exclaimed, both of them erupting into laughter after realising how creepy it seemed.

“I swear, it’s not weird! Let me find what I’m looking for and then you’ll get it,” he defended.

It finally came up, and Matty held up his screen to show her. Este was in the middle of turning down her street, so it took a couple of seconds before she could break her attention to the road, but then eventually she studied the relic.

“Oh my god! That’s Lola!”

She was shocked. They both found it hilarious that Florencia and Matty had met before, a picture proving it.

“She was the best, honestly. Made the hospital way less of a horrifying place to be,” he gushed. “You should tell her, next time you see her. If she remembers me. Then maybe she can replace that horrid memory of me thinking her name was Lola with the fact that she nursed me back to health after getting my gallbladder removed.”

“She remembers you, for sure. I think she likes you more than I do, to be quite honest, so she’ll be excited to hear that you two go further back,” she joked.

Matty threw her an offended ‘Hey!’ in response.

They pulled into her flat’s parking spaces and Este took note of Cate’s car being absent from the spot beside her’s. A small wave of relief hit. No awkward flatmate introductions. A silence fell over them as they exited her car into the evening chill. Este didn’t have to ask if he wanted to follow her up, since he began doing so anyway. It was only 8:30, but time ticked slowly.

After getting through a couple of locked doors in the lobby, they comfortably entered the elevator, and Este pressed on the button with the 4 on it. The two stood next to each other and turned to face the doors, their shoulders brushing innocently.

“You know, we’re painfully pretentious for coming all the way here just so I could read your specific copy of that book. I literally already had one in my hands,” Matty pointed out.

A ding rang in the air as they passed the first floor.

“I know.” Este smiled. “I think that’s just who we are, though. You, a little more than me, but still.”

Another ding. Second floor.

“"I think we’re equally pretentious, but—” said Matty, but she cut him off by silently holding up the copy of You Are Here in her hands, proving her point. He flipped her off.

The forth ding was heard before the doors opened back up, Este exiting and letting Matty follow her. She was nervous for him to see her and Cate’s relatively small flat, but was glad that at least they kept it tidy; and, with time, found an appropriate position for the couch. They hadn’t said anything since reaching her floor, but not in a bad way.

She swung the door open, welcoming Matty inside. Walking past the kitchen and into the living area, he studied every detail of the space. He liked the small ceramic rabbits that were scattered through their very full plant stand, with greenery sticking out in every direction, and how each of them had a different expression. The prints hanging on the walls felt aged and added character to their maximally styled room. Matty assumed each piece had its own story.

Este hesitantly asked the question that had been tickling at her tongue the entire walk up to the flat as she removed her jacket and threw it onto the dining room table.

“Have time to stick around for a brew?”

He was hoping she’d ask him to stay. “Course,” agreed Matty. “You know, this is exactly what I expected your place to look like.” He copied her and removed his coat, setting it down on the couch and then taking a seat next to it.

She made her way back to the kitchen to start the kettle. “Really? Why?”

“Dunno. Really artsy and charming with tons of little trinkets. Endless amounts of things to look at—books and plants, just like the shop.”

Which mugs should I use? Este thought, opening the cupboard. Which mug of mine is the coolest? Has an interesting backstory? She shook her head to herself, embarrassed to be internally worrying about choosing a mug.

“Thank you. I think I’m just a hoarder, so the minute I find something cool I just stick it on a shelf either out here or in my room and then I’m bonded to it for life. My flatmate, Cate, is the same way so it’s twice as bad.”

Even after realising how stupid it was to care about what mug to give Matty, she still tried to pick her coolest one. It was a plain white ceramic mug that was sculpted to look like a slightly crumpled red Solo cup but with a handle. Este thought Matty would either love it or hate it, and wanted to find out which it would be; as if the answer would be revealing of his spirit, or something.

“Milk or sugar?” she asked, looking up to make eye contact with him for the first time in a couple of minutes.

Matty was already gazing at her, watching her potter around the kitchen. A blush spread over Este's cheeks after she noticed. “Just a dash of milk, please,” he told her, standing up to walk over to their kitchen island and lean against it. “I’m kind of the opposite of a hoarder. I own like three things in total.”

The kettle started whistling, signalling her to pick it up and pour their cups. “That doesn’t at all surprise me, Matty,” Este claimed while opening up the fridge to grab the milk. In it, she saw the case of Heineken she and Cate had bought last week. She cringed. “I’m also just now realising that I have beer in the fridge and it was really lame of me to offer you tea.”

Pouring the milk anyway, Este pushed Matty’s cup towards him.

He muttered a quick ‘thanks’ before taking a careful sip. “I mean, in a mug like this,” he pointed playfully at the eccentric Solo cup pottery. “Totally not lame.”

Este could hear the sarcasm in his voice, so she reached up and shoved his shoulder with her palm. “Hey, that’s like my best thrift find of all time. It’s edgy. The perfect combination of classic and modern. Practical, too.”

Their conversation continued for another half-hour as their teas dwindled in both fullness and temperature. He eventually asked for a tour of the flat, so Este showed him around, even letting him take a peek into her bedroom and its many more trinkets. In it, she picked her copy of On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous off her shelf and handed it to him. Matty accepted it, while continuing to throw compliments her way, commenting on the oozing personality of all of her belongings.

Looping back around after seeing the whole flat, the couch dipped as both of them took a seat, now with beers in hand.

“So, do you invite customers back to your flat very often?”

Este was slightly embarrassed by the nature of the question, but tried to play it off and replied, “Only the ones that are famous musicians.”

Matty took a swig of beer and set it onto the coffee table with a coaster beneath it. “Oh, I see. So this is a meet and greet.” They both laughed and silence fell upon them again. “I’m actually really nervous. For the album, I mean,” he admitted.

She looked over to him, her expression softening. “Really?”

“Yeah, it’s just a bit scary. You know, people have been liking the songs so far, but the single we put out last month sort of has blown up my whole junkie, rehab, drug thing. So I feel a lot of pressure to say the right thing.”

“I mean, I feel like that just gives people a reason to connect to the album even more. Your art still holds its purpose—that emotional release.”

Matty smiled thankfully. “Thank you for calling my music ‘my art’. That really withholds this whole pretentious thing we've got going on," he said with a chuckle. “And seriously, thank you for liking Love It If We Made It. It’s cool to have a cool person like your stuff.”

“I love it. Really do,” she pushed. “And thank you for calling me a cool person.”

“You are.” Matty meant it.

His eyes trailed from the dimple on her left cheek to the chain dangling from her neck and further to the clothes draped on her body. “Is that necklace you wear a dragonfly? Or is it a butterfly?”

Este was confused at the randomness of his question but answered anyway. She could tell he was itching to know even the little things about her.

“It’s a dragonfly,” she confirmed, reaching up to fiddle with it and give Matty a closer look. “They remind me of my grandpa. Dragonflies love him. Back in the Philippines, he was a fisherman, so he spent a lot of time out by water. I have hundreds of memories of being with him near the ocean and seeing one land on the rim of his cap or even the tip of his nose.”

He smiled warmly at the sweet anecdote but left space for her to continue, liking that she responded to his questions with stories, not just answers.

“There aren’t many out here, though, especially since he lives in London and stays in the city. So I wear one around my neck instead,” Este explained. She studied his face as she sipped her beer. Matty was listening. It felt like he was looking through her, too.

After talking for as long as their minds took them, through topics big and small, light and dark, Matty decided he better make his way. “Shit, it’s 12:30. Might want to catch an Uber.”

“Where are you staying? I could drive,” Este offered.

He opened his phone to open the app and see the rides available, denying her kind gesture. A few clicks later, a car was on its way. “Oh please, don’t worry. It’s late. I’m just crashing at my mate’s—the one whose birthday I came in for. Taking the train back to London tomorrow morning for rehearsals,” explained Matty.

Este handed him his coat as they both stood up and slowly made their way over to the door. The Uber was minutes away, so they didn’t stop before leaving the threshold of her flat and taking the elevator down to the lobby.

“Rehearsals? Is tour happening that soon?”

“Not until next year. But, we have a show in Kingston the night before the album comes out. Shitting my pants about it, honestly, so we’ve been rehearsing like crazy,” he said as the elevator doors reopened to let them onto the ground floor, continuing to walk towards the main door. “You should come, if you’re free. We always leave room at the side of the stage for friends and family. I’d love for you to hear the new stuff live.” Matty now stood on the pavement, turning to face Este, who stood just inside the doorway. She grinned at his offer, appreciating his generosity.

“That would be amazing,” she agreed. “Let me know the details and I’d love to be there.”

He nodded at her and held up the book in his hands. “Thanks, for this. And tonight.”

Este likewise thanked him for the novel of essays that now sat on her coffee table upstairs. They shared a casual embrace to say goodbye, with Matty’s hands gracing the small of her back and hers meeting over his neck. She pressed her lips to his cheek, close to his jaw, holding it there briefly before letting go. Matty wished they stayed there a little longer.

One last ‘good night’ left their mouths as the car pulled up and Matty got in. He shot Este a small wave from behind the tinted car window.

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raremikey · 2 years ago

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Yas!! It's a bit more personal so if it's okay, message me and ill give you the @ <33

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dreamersparacosm · 2 years ago

Note

idk if this makes sense but like could u make a blurb abt like austin comes back from budapest for a break but y/n doesn’t know, he’s just like surprise 🤭?? IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT SO IM SORRY IF THIS DONT MAKE SENSE💀

missed you too much - austin butler

note ; not me being like “blurbs are closed” but then getting this request and just having to write it. austin missing his girl so much he begs the crew of dune 2 to let him go on a break and he just wants to surprise u so he doesn’t tell u i’m- what an angel <3

warnings ; noneee

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

he had never been away from you for this long. he hated it. he did everything in his power to avoid it. when he filmed elvis, he made sure that there was a stipend for you and him to live comfortably in australia while he filmed. this was just one of the many accommodations austin made during that time. after all, everyone was aware you two were a package deal. but when he got the opportunity to film dune 2 alongside zendaya and timothee chalamet, it was something you couldn’t let him turn down. four countries. countries that weren’t even in your time zone.

you had told him to be patient and that you would take care of your shared californian home while he was gone. he had said ‘yes, but i need you there with me. i can’t film without you.’ you knew that wasn’t true, he was so talented on his own already without realizing. alas, you had convinced him after numerous pep talks, and he left for budapest.

it had been two months since that day you dropped him off at the airport.

again, too long for him.

he had already made up his mind. he had begged his director, dennis villeneuve, to let him take a week off filming. austin had already filmed a good portion of his necessary scenes, and he just needed to hold his baby girl. he just needed to kiss you endlessly and lay in bed with you, he yearned to hold your body as you slept peacefully. austin knew that if he told you he was coming home, you would try and stop him. that’s what he loved about you the most; you would sacrifice anything for his success. but, he knew he was only half the man he was because of you.

so, austin began the long trek back to california from hungary.

meanwhile, you were doing nothing. you had spent the past two months working out, shopping, and trying to find things to do without austin around. when he was gone for extended periods of time, you could feel his presence missing. it was as if he was a puzzle piece in your jigsaw puzzle that wasn’t completed without that one piece. you had done pretty much everything; hanging out with your friends, going clubbing, visiting your parents. every night, however, you made sure to call austin. he often picked up on the first ring, but if not, you left him a voicemail.

you were so proud of him though, and tried to not be a nuisance. he reassured you often that it was okay to call him more than once, but you wanted to make sure he was focusing on his career.

austin got off the plane, landing during the gorgeous californian sunset. he had turned off his location so that you wouldn’t know where he was, not that you checked it very often. on his way home from the airport, he made sure to stop and get you your favorite flowers; white roses. he could feel his heartbeat in his ears on the drive to the house; as if he was on his way to pick you up for the first date.

you were in the kitchen, dabbling in a new recipe you saw on instagram the other day. with all the free time, you went back to other passions such as cooking, which was always refreshing. you were so indulged in your activity that you didn’t even hear the uber that contained your boyfriend pull up in front of the house. you still didn’t hear him when he fumbled with his keys in the doorway, walking down the hallway, dropping his bags on the floor and following the smell of your cooking to reveal you.

he took the time to lean against the doorframe, and admire the girl he was going to marry one day. there you were, just humming to yourself as you stirred something in a pot. he didn’t even want to disturb your peace but he couldn’t control himself. “hi, baby,” he wrapped his arms around your waist.

you jumped almost immediately, your heart nearly falling out of its chest. you knew that voice, you could recognize it anywhere. whipping around to face him and confirm your dream, you realized it really was him. “austin!” you screamed out, wrapping your arms around his neck, squeezing him so tightly that he thought his circulation almost cut off. “why are you back, baby? i thought you weren’t coming until next month!”

he needed this. he couldn’t function without you. but, he settled for a different answer, “i missed you too damn much.” he smiled before cupping your cheek in his hand and leaning in to kiss the lips he had dreamt about. you hummed sweetly into him, the feeling so foreign after being apart.

“well mister, you chose a good day because i found this perfect recipe for penne alla vodka and i need someone to taste test it,” you rambled on about the sauce you used and what seasonings. in all honesty, austin didn’t care about the pasta. but, what he did care about, was the way your eyes sparkled when you talked about something you loved. he let you go on and on about it.

in that moment, he realized he might have to make some calls to get you accommodated in budapest.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

masterlist + request

#answered #anon #austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler blurb #austin butler fluff #austin butler fanfic #austin butler imagine #austin butler elvis #angelina's drabbles

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vennystuffs · 2 years ago

Text

Welcome to my tumblr! :]

☆ here's a little introduction ☆

• hi! im ven, im sixteen and i like to paint and draw both traditionally and digitally, i also like to edit despite not doing much lately and im also learning html,.css and java coding. :]

• i go by they pronouns, please respect them

• DNI (do not interact): proship, prolife, against (EDUCATED) self diagnosis (and has a valid reason for it), basic dni criteria (racist, homophobe etc.)

• BYF (before you follow): I do vent on here from time to time, not graphically, but i do make sad posts so if like that makes u uncomfy i guess heres your first warning, also alot of my interests have blood and death mentions involved so if u dont like that theres a warning too. when talking abt my problems i will mention neurodivergency and mental illness symptoms since when told im having therapy arranged its just left as an empty promise. the reason i don't like people who are against reasonable self diagnoses is bc i have shown alot of symptoms for disorders and illnesses that i suffer from bc of the lack of help i have and dont rlly have access to therapy easily.

• my interests (hyperfixations will be marked with a ♡):

tokyo ghoul ♡

genshin ♡

south park ♡

omori

undertale/deltarune

stranger things

your turn to die

vocaloid

serial experiments lain

• special characters ☆:

☆ ken kaneki

☆ xiao ☆ kyle, kenny

☆ basil, kel

☆ will byers

☆ ranmaru kageyama, joe tazuna,

shin tsukimi

☆ hatsune miku, fukase

lain irakuwa

some of my social medias (most active will have ☆ next to it):

• ☆ my instagram, this is my main account where i post my edits and im most active on, my art account is alatusluvrr, alot of the art is old and im trying to be more productive :3

• ☆ tiktok, im very active on here, also if u choose to follow me on here i apologise if u ever get a random dm saying ive sent you a video, im either sending them w/o realising or its a glitch

• ☆ ko-fi my commissions are open!! all my services are on here but i also have a post stating what i do here aswell

• neocities, this is the website im working on where ill be posting about my interests, updates on my life, and sharing ideas and progress of projects i have planned or am currently working on, its a huge work in progress at the moment though so while i am active im probably going to be coding most of the time

• twitter, i am very inactive on here, like i only ever reblog and add a quote and very rarely aswell, theres old art on there too.

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threecrowsinatrenchcoat · 3 years ago

Text

Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence.

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos.

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.”

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him.

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment.

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table. He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop.

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock.

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really.

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in.

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit.

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill.

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom.

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT” /end ID]

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin.

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left.

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left.

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand.

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID]

#dukeceit #dukeceitweek #remus sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides fic #kye writes

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dreamiehrs · 4 years ago

Text

a Christmas miracle ➛ z.cl

genre: fluff, comedy/crack, bestfriend!chenle, gender neutral reader, hurt/comfort somewhat

pairing: zhong chenle x reader

word count: 2,588 words

warning(s): some swearing

summary: Christmas had been the same old same old holiday for you and your family for plenty of years now, fully embracing the tradition of meeting up with family, exchanging presents, and enjoying each other’s presence on Christmas day. however, this year seemed to feel quite different, with your family quite literally forgetting that Christmas even existed, and with you all stuck in your apartment alone in the snowy city, you weren’t so sure what you were going to do for Christmas this year. unbeknownst to you, though, your sneaky best friend had a trick up his sleeve, and he was determined to make this Christmas one you’ll remember forever.

note: this is a part of mylin’s @suh-insane and sunny’s @neocitybynight Walking in a Winter Wonderland collab! this is my first time participating in a collab solely for Christmas, so I hope you all enjoy this fic of mine! Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it! I hope you all have an amazing and safe Christmas this year, and I just wanted to let you all know that I appreciate and love you guys so so SO much! (and to the people who don’t celebrate it, I still hope you all have a wonderful day nonetheless!)

prompts chosen: “when we finally kiss goodnight how I’ll hate going out in the storm! but if you’ll really hold me tight all the way home I’ll be warm.” + “that’s what Christmas memories are made from. they’re not planned; they’re not scheduled. nobody puts them in their blackberry. they just happen.”

for the past few months, time seemed to fly by without leaving a trace behind, and before you knew it, it was already Christmas day. if it was any other year, you would’ve woken up earlier, around 6 AM to be precise, and start your trek to your parents house with their gifts in hand. however, since your parents and the rest of your family got caught up in other ordeals, and quite literally forgot that Christmas even existed, you had woken up quite later than 6 AM. 9 AM, if you were being specific.

you had still bought your family presents for Christmas, of course, and took the time to wrap them and spiffy them up yourself with various different kinds of Christmas wrapping paper you’ve collected over the years as a pro wrapper (in actuality, it was just your mother giving you extra wrapping paper when she accidentally bought too much, so you weren’t entirely a pro wrapper, per se). what you were trying to say is that you put a lot of thought into buying and decorating presents for your family, and you were sort of down about how you wouldn’t be able to give them their presents in person this year.

basically, what you were trying to get across is that you quite literally had no plans for Christmas this year, and you were probably going to spend your entire day wailing away in your apartment.

nonetheless, you pulled yourself out of bed after being in deep thought for thirty minutes straight, and decided to actually not wail away in your apartment for the rest of the day. it was time to be festive, you thought to yourself, as you slowly made your way around your room to move your curtains aside to let some sunlight seep in. although you were in a brooding mood, you didn’t entirely want your room to reflect that.

you huff to yourself as you slide your feet against the carpet floor, swinging open your closet doors and glancing over all of your clothes, none of them really catching your attention. you sigh before closing both of your closet doors dramatically, turning around and heading towards your dresser. you can faintly hear your phone buzz on your nightstand as you pull on one of the knobs on one of your dresser drawers that contains your pajama pants. you grab a random pair of snug pajama pants and opt to keep the same pajama shirt you wore to bed last night on before heading to the bathroom to change.

after taking some time to get dressed and brush your teeth, you finally exit your bathroom and toss the pajama shorts you wore last night in your hamper. you snatch your phone and stash it in your pocket before making your way towards your miniature kitchen. you promptly grab your kettle and fill it up with water, waiting for it to reach the third line before placing it on your stove. you move the dial until its exactly on high temperature, and you’re about to start to make yourself breakfast until you feel your phone buzz in your pocket.

fed up with how active your phone had been for the past thirty minutes, you finally fish your phone out of your pocket and lean against the counter next to your stove.

your phone contained the usual notifications, such as Instagram likes, Team Snapchat sending you a Christmas snap, your best friend chenle spamming your phone- wait, your best friend chenle spamming your phone? that was FAR from your usual notifications, and you were honestly quite surprised that he was contacting you on Christmas day this year. he’s usually spending it with his family all day, and never texts you back until he gets back home, which is around eight PM.

without thinking, you unlock your phone and tap on the messages icon, and your jaw almost drops when you see how many messages he sent you within the past few hours. since 6 AM, chenle has sent you over one hundred messages, and for once, you were grateful that you were a heavy sleeper, because if you were a light sleeper and woke up to every single one of his messages, you would’ve lost your mind.

you [9:45 AM]: please chenle what do you WANT FROM ME

lele the dumdum [9:45 AM]: WOW YOU’VE FINALLY WOKEN UP FROM UR DEEP SLUMBER

lele the dumdum [9:45 AM]: I THOUGHT U WERE NEVER GOING TO WAKE UP

lele the dumdum [9:46 AM]: took u long enough smh

you [9:46 AM]: ...is this really how you’re going to treat me on Christmas day??

lele the dumdum [9:46 AM]: I treat you like this all the time. what makes you think that today’s gonna be any different?

you [9:47 AM]: …

lele the dumdum [9:47 AM]: anyways… MY GORGEOUS WONDERFUL BESTIE WHAT DO U HAVE PLANNED FOR CHRISTMAS TODAY

lele the dumdum [9:48 AM]: DO ANY OF UR PLANS INVOLVE ME POTENTIALLY COMING OVER??? O.O

you [9:48 AM]: is this why you’ve been spamming my phone SINCE 6 AM!?!?!

you [9:48 AM]: also why were you awake at 6 am anyways

you [9:49 AM]: did your crush finally text you back or are you still drowning in loneliness like usual

lele the dumdum [9:50 AM]: I don’t even have a crush??? who told you that false information

you [9:50 AM]: the little elves running around my house whispered it in my ear last night

lele the dumdum [9:51 AM]: I think you’re going to delusional

you [9:51 AM]: I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case at this point

lele the dumdum [9:51 AM]: MOVING ON

lele the dumdum [9:52 AM]: WHAT DO U HAVE PLANNED

lele the dumdum [9:52 AM]: I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

you [9:53 AM]: me planning to wail in sorrow all day is very important to you??

lele the dumdum [9:53 AM]: ...excuse me what?? UR GOING TO WAIL IN SORROW ALL DAY ON CHRISTMAS DAY!?!?

lele the dumdum [9:54 AM]: this is not acceptable. I am coming over right now to spread some of my FESTIVENESS AND JOLLINESS with you :D

you [9:55 AM]: chenle you really don’t have to-

lele the dumdum [9:55 AM]: TOO BAD IM OMW RN AS WE SPEAK

you [9:56 AM]: at least bring some festivities, games, and snacks with you 🙄

lele the dumdum [9:56 AM]: oh shit you have a point

lele the dumdum [9:57 AM]: BRB ILL BE THERE IN 30

you knew that once chenle had made his mind up about something, he wasn’t going to change it that easily, so it would be futile to try and stop him now. you don't bother replying to his last message, and you shove your phone back in your pocket a few moments before your kettle whistles. you move on from chenle tormenting you for twelve minutes straight and make yourself some tea and breakfast instead.

it was now around 10:30 AM, and you had just finished digesting your breakfast when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket again. you were lying down on your small, beige couch, with your cold tea sat on the coffee table a few feet away. you were still in your pajamas, with no intent of changing into actual clothes anytime soon.

once again, you fish your phone out of your pocket to see what nonsense chenle was texting you this time.

lele the dumdum [10:31 AM]: open up, bitch

you [10:31 AM]: I thought I gave you a spare key??

lele the dumdum [10:32 AM]: shit I forgot it

lele the dumdum [10:32 AM]: anyways OPEN UP

you lazily lift yourself up from off of your couch, grasping your mug of cold tea on the way to the door. you take your time unlocking your door, halfly because you felt like annoying chenle, and halfly because you were just over today in general.

the first thing that stands out to you once you swing open your front door is how different your outfit looks compared to chenle. he was all bundled up with plenty of layers to keep him warm while adventuring the city, and meanwhile you adorned white and pink striped pajamas with socks on. you also noticed that he had a dark grey bookbag on his back, and was holding two full bags in his hands.

the two of you stare at each other for a few more seconds until chenle breaks the silence with: “I think this is the most I’ve seen you look like a complete old person. there have been other times, but the old person persona is just jumping out at me right now.”

you roll your eyes. “don’t say that when you yourself have dressed up as an old person before.”

“yeah, yeah,” he brushes you off, passing by you to slip his shoes off and to take off his five hundred layers. “it doesn’t matter whether you look like an old person, it mainly matters whether you have the spirit of an old person, you know?”

“I cannot comprehend your words this early in the morning. we can have a conversation about whether I act like an old person later.” you say as you watch him remove his large, dark green jacket and place it onto your coat rack. you can hear him scoff at your remark, and you grin as you see the corners of his mouth lift up slightly.

“early in the morning? y/n it’s only-” he pauses to check his phone “10:32 AM. that’s early for you?”

“I woke up at 9 AM, you dum.”

“oh,” he swivels around to face you after taking his shoes off and removing all of his additional layers. “makes sense, I guess. you’ve only been awake for an hour and a half, so you’re probably not fully awake yet. I mean, I’ve been awake since 6 am, and I’m bursting with energy compared to you.”

you give him a deadpan expression in response to what he said, and he can’t help but burst out laughing at your reaction. he steps up beside you and pats your shoulder gently. “well, besides that, I’m gonna be the one who helps you burst with energy like I am right now! follow me!” he whisper-shouts a few inches away from your ear, and you can feel his hand leave your shoulder and grasp your right hand in a matter of seconds.

he leads you back towards your couch, and even somehow manages to help you set your mug down even though he has bags in his hands. the two of you plop down on your couch, and you almost melt at how soft and comfortable your couch was. you closed your eyes for a few seconds as chenle rustled through his bags beside you, and you don’t know how much time has passed when chenle starts to snap his fingers at you.

“y/n, I am not going to deal with your sleepy ass right now. I spent around forty minutes scurrying around the city to find things to lift your mood, and I am not going to let those forty minutes go to waste just because you’re tired.”

you groan and roll to the other side, facing away from chenle. “just five more minutes…”

surprisingly, you’re met by silence in response to your wish of wanting five more minutes of rest, but that silence doesn’t last when you feel something cold touch your face.

you screech and immediately open your eyes to witness chenle pressing an ice cube onto your forehead. you swat the ice cube off of your forehead as quick as you can, and stare up at chenle like he’s gone completely mad. “what was that for?”

he grins proudly. his plan had worked. “awake now? great. now, help me figure out what we should do first.”

“I think you’ve gone mad. I cannot believe you just woke me up by pressing an ice cube onto my forehead.” you complain, still feeling the coldness of the ice cube on your forehead. when you finally move to face him now, you see that he had brought plenty of things for you two to entertain yourselves.

“I could’ve done worse things, like dip my hand into freezing water and press it against your face, but I was feeling generous today, so I decided to spare you the pain.”

you scoff. “right. anyways, what’d you bring?”

he glances at you excitedly before getting into it. “well, I brought plenty of snacks, some fizzy drinks, some board games, some movies I rented that we could watch together, some candy, etc. I honestly brought everything that I thought you would like with me, so I really hope all of this is enough to make your Christmas day a little bit more festive. I may have also bought you a present, but besides that… let’s get this party started! ...y/n?”

he tears his gaze away from the couch to up to your face, and you don’t entirely register that you’re crying until a few minutes after staring into his eyes. “oh, I’m sorry… I just… I’m just really grateful that you decided to come all this way to cheer me up on Christmas day, and you brought so many things with you as well to make me feel better so… thank you, chenle.”

he beams at you even though he can feel a tear threatening to fall from his left eye, and instead of letting you see him cry as well, he quickly wraps his arms around your figure, bringing you into a tight hug. “of course, y/n. you know I’d do anything for you, right? if you’re down, I’m going to cheer you up in some way, shape, or form, and if you feel like watching the world burn, then I’ll be right by your side.”

“awh, stop it, you’re going to make me cry even more.” you faintly hit his back with your hand, and he giggles as a few tears fall down his face.

the two of you stay like that for a good five more minutes, which is enough time for chenle to regain his composure and act like he didn’t shed a few tears in the process. he slowly leaves your grasp, taking a good look at your face and wiping some tears off of your face with his thumb. “you know what I think will make you feel better?”

you grin. “what?”

he smiles before swiveling around to rustle through his bookbag, and your eyes widen when you finally process what he’s up to.

the next moment happens so quickly you can barely register that it’s happening. chenle swivels around with two nerf guns in his hands, throws you one that lands perfectly in your arms, and declares: “me completely destroying you in a nerf gun battle will make you feel better.” before he releases fire on you.

you shriek as you run across your apartment, trying to avoid the plastic bullets that chenle was littering your apartment with. eventually, he does win the battle, and it does make you feel better in the end, but let’s not mention that or else his ego will run wild, alright?

66 notes · View notes

swynlake-spill · 4 years ago

Note

Boba, please bully some of our shyer residents into posting selfies! I am dying for some Rarer Insta Content.

ok i’ll try here we go

@vixey-chakraborty KEEP THE COW CONTENT COMING BUT ALSO LET UR OWN NATURAL RADIANCE SHINE!!! I LOVE U PLEASE IM ASKING SO NICELY BUT ALSO VERY LOUDLY SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR

@rikuxnakayama sir i cannot keep buying overpriced coffee from [name redacted] just for the ten seconds of eye contact we have i simply do not make enough money have pity on me and POST

@vitani-blackwell u arent really shy so i dont understand how you are not posting daily thirst traps i have seen your body and therefore seen god please RESUME REGULAR CONTENT

@melody-the-unwritten typing ur username just now made me cry. :( melody i MISS YOu. melody i dont think u understand u could be miss swynlake if u wanted... this is your YEAR

@princess-ting-ting you post extremely quality pics of your fish and family jigsaw puzzles and stuff and thats valid and good plz dont stop but also you are the qin i respect in this world and i think you deserve to be told how beautiful u are js

@littlelectriceelduh ur mysterious and look like the boy my mum warned me about. plz indulge my worst desires and help me star in my very own all time low pop punk fantasy

@arista-the-musical BLASPHEMY that i am tagging a triton wtf did your sisters teach u!! arista when i say that i believe if you post selfies tagged #stopglobalwarming that it could maybe inspire a movement im not even being hyperbolic i think the power is in your hands and you should use it

@cinderellaashbourne HONEY PLEASE COME HOME tiana as her roommate why are you not instilling in ella the confidence needed to become a powerhouse insta mom im just saying she could build an empire off her smile

@babettexdurand seeing u makes me go 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 sincerely do not think there are words...

@evil--endeavors you want to be taken seriously as a business woman, totally fair! however, fourth wave feminism said stuff about idk owning ur sexuality or-- nvm dont do it for me do it for the young LESBIANS. also kick me in the face :)

@one-lucky-lad small confession...i have a crush on this darling I KNOW I KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING however i am not immune to the specific charms of his beautiful blue eyes. im just saying haha what if we kissed

@tink-bell tink used to post all the time but then she got her heart broken or something and i just think she needs to build up all that very valid fierce tink bell confidence she was famous for!! tink PLEASE give me the bed selfie i know you have! txt me u up ;) ? ask me to netflix and chill! also post on instagram obviously!

@sanmononoke what is going on with this person real talk besides ofc being very hot as per swynlake’s hotness requirement. idk if she has an instagram. bet she’d post like feet pics and shit like that. think that we need a little bit of that spice in swynlake dont you!!!

@moon-yeongjun frankly it is a crime that we are all collectively robbed of the journey that would be jun moon instagram experience. if you dont think he’s hot you’re lying to yourself!! new rule every time jun posts a petition he owes us a selfie its only fair idk im once again putting tiana to the task of making that happen

@notmuchofatail he’s been posting more lately but it is not enough for me. gregory eeyore is my past present and future. like im in love with him is what im saying.

@a-merman-not-a-guppy stop pretending like you’re not a handsome lad its EMBARRASSING. what is the point also of designing ur own clothes if you arent putting up your wares on instagram. again this is just common sense i cannot believe im giving this immaculate advice for free.

@notbad-justsungthatway again she posts decently but i think she should post more bc she is easily in the ten hottest people ever in swynlake. its a fact not an opinion and we’d all feel a lot calmer if she was active daily on instagram

@pinkpearlpark the coolest of the teens!! i need her to post so she can teach ME how to post. like idk what im doing teach me the ways of being an attractive rich cool person miss park!

@bucktoothed--ice-prince again idk whats going on here he’s this very mysterious stranger who blew into town out of nowhere. maybe going without an instagram is the whole point but i would rather write dumb things on ur posts tbh

@trickster-knownas-pan AND A THIRD person who i know nothing about. maybe i am just nosy but also you are hot so you owe me something thats how survival of the fittest works maybe !!!!!!! i failed science three times!!!!

@devyn-morey lol i know he posts a lot but obviously! obviously!

@geehosaphat on the other hand martin has two posts on his instagram maybe and thats abysmal. martin you do realize you’re like. hot right. i mean it like you could be in a magazine. you’re hot. take off your shirt sometime maybe if you’re comfortable so you can flaunt it!

@winndeavor again i know ur a serious business person who has a certain brand to maintain. on the other hand: you have abs. much to think about i know.

@hclyghcst DISGUSTING that you could win jewel of the season or w/e and then disappear from my life. you owe me like ten selfies at this point! you’re cute kind and a good friend to people in your life! fuck im obsessed with u!!

@vvinter-queen and now we shout out to her sister ANNA to help her. anna how is it that u have a moderately thriving bookstagram and yet elsa has no idea what a filter is. intervene. fix it. she’s beautiful. imagine how much ice cream u will sell.

@gleamdncglow u dont have to post bc it might actually piss me off considering how pretty you are. but if you want to i guess (please please please please please please)

@gabriella-marino you know what’s the best way to get to know ppl in town and make friends! yeah ur right, its thirst traps on instagram! i think you’re so cute on a serious note please tell me more about u...maybe in the captions on your thirst trap for instagram!

@edwardandalasia honestly just curious how it would go if someone showed edward who is maybe suffering from some textbook case of amnesia how instagram works. you also have the best skin ive ever seen. send me ur tips. ok thank u!!!

#im not tagging you #daily spill #insta spill #Anonymous

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uncomfortable-writers · 5 years ago

Text

Sugar and Spice 2 (Tony x Reader)

(Gif credit to owner)

Fandom: Marvel

Character: Tony Stark

Persona: Female

Word Count: 3,403

Warnings: Sugar Daddy!Tony, swearing, light smut in public, NSFW

18+ Only!

A/N - Decided to turn it into a little mini series! More plot driven then just straight up smut. Enjoy <3

Read Part One Here!

Tag List: @ofmiceand-batman // @hulksmashin-bannerpackin //

♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡

The sunlight peeked through the slight crack in the curtains, creeping softly over your closed eyelids. You groaned, shifting your head further into the pillow you were cuddling silently refusing to wake up. It was the faint smell of cologne simmering in the air and drifting innocently into your nostrils which reluctantly made your eyes open. Of course he was gone. Tony never stayed the night. He usually left soon after the deed was done, sometimes a few hours later if he craved further affection like cuddles. He must of let himself out after you’d fallen asleep.

Hickies and scratches were the only physical evidence of your late night activities, Tony’s scent a reminder that it wasn’t just a filthy dream. Your once pristine bed now a sinful disarray of tousled sweat-stained sheets, pillows scattered on the floor along with the pink bodysuit you’d worn. You willed your heavy heart to stop dwelling on the nostalgia from last night, sometimes you just wished that when you woke up in the morning, Tony was still there. With a shake of your head you pushed the thoughts away reminding yourself that this was only a business arrangement. Sitting up on your bed you felt like you were hungover; your body ached from the unholy acts Tony inflicted upon you. You wouldn’t have it any other way though.

Reaching out you picked up your phone. Your eyes scanned quickly over the various notifications ignoring the ones from Instagram and Snapchat, you were looking for one in particular. The little bit of naive hope you had left was diminished when you saw only a notification from your bank stating that a recent deposit had been made, “Typical”, you murmured, you didn’t know why you still hoped he’d send a good morning text, afterall when did Tony ever text you just to talk?

“Shit!”, groaning you quickly swung your legs over the side of your bed. You were late for work. Again. There was no way your boss, Pete, would tolerate this. Because of Tony you were late for the third time this week, he always wore you into a sleep coma.

You scowled at the burnt out candles as you grabbed a set of work clothes out of a drawer and dashed into your bathroom. A few hours late was better than not turning up at all right? It took you minutes to get ready, grabbing your already packed bag, you left to catch the bus for work hoping that you could still keep your job.

//////////\\\\\\\\\\

The journey was mundane apart from the anxiety seeping in your bones. You almost turned and bolted way from your place of work but you ignored the apprehension. You couldn’t run from all your problems in life.

Your friend Mia was the first to greet you as you entered the bustling workplace, for an office it sure was lively, “Pete’s gonna have a field day with you”, she teased waltzing past you to the break room, “Is that why you were late again?”. Mia tapped the side of her own neck with a smirk and you suddenly realised you hadn’t covered up the hickies. You couldn’t help but to grin back at her, “Mind your own business”. Mia hovered by the break room doorway to dish out one final taunt, “Y’know I don’t even know why you still work here, if I was getting what you earn in one night I’d retire for life”. You rolled your eyes at your friend, she knew about your arrangement just not who it was with although she tried on many occasions to find out. Walking over to the clock-in machine you called back, “Girl needs a hobby Mia”.

Your mood was starting to look up, maybe today wouldn’t be as bad as you first though. Just as you were putting your clock-in sheet back into the slot, Pete popped his head around his office door, “(Y/N)! My office now!”, he did not look happy. Mia tapped your shoulder, “Good luck”, and made her way back to her desk. ‘Spoke too soon’, you thought.

Smiling sheepishly, you leaned through the open door way, “You wanted to see me?”. Your boss nodded his head and motioned for you to come fully into the room. You offered him your sweetest smile, sitting down you clasp your hands in your lap and tried to turn up your charm. He sighed. Rubbing his forehead he finally met your eyes, “I’m gonna keep this to the point (Y/N). I’m making you redundant, you’ve had too many warnings”. You put on your best puppy dog eyes, “Pete please-”, but your boss cut you off, “I told you what would happen a few days ago if you were late again. You’ve had too many chances”. You wanted to protest again. Sure you didn’t need the job but it was something to do on the side to keep a steady income, just in case of emergencies. Ultimately the arrangement you had with Tony wasn’t forever. “No ifs or buts, I want your desk cleared by the end of the day”, Pete said then he wordlessly went back to typing away on his computer signalling the conversation was over. You nodded your head and walked out of his office feeling quite frustrated.

Your mobile vibrated against your hip. You fished it out of your pocket as you dropped onto your office chair:

From: Daddy ♡

Hey princess, daddy wants to play xoxo

Given any other circumstances and you’d be hornier than Loki’s helmet, but right now you were pissed off and defeated.

To: Daddy ♡

Not now i’m busy

His reply didn’t take longer than a second, almost like he was waiting for you which unbeknown to you he was. Sat alone in his huge office, on the highest floor of Stark Tower Tony grew bored of doing paperwork. His eyes lazily read through mission reports, his mind drifting to something more fun than paperwork, that something being you.

From: Daddy ♡

So? go to the bathroom and take some pics for me ;) xo

Your patience was being tested. You scowled at your phone, you were in this mess because of Tony, “Ugh”. Mia popped her head over the cubicle at the sound of your sigh, “Trouble in paradise?”. You didn’t look at her as you typed out a blunt response, “Yeah”.

To: Daddy ♡

I said no

Tony frowned at your text, genuinely stunned by your response. You were usually always up for whatever fun Tony wanted. He slumped back in his luxury leather chair for a few moments trying to formulate a response. When his brain came up short he rested his chin on his hand and typed a reply, confused about what had upset you so much. Tony wasn’t used to rejection, especially from you. After replying he dropped his phone onto the desk pouting, he schemed up a plan to make you happy again. You must be truly down in the dumps if you didn’t want to play with Tony when he asked.

From: Daddy ♡

Okay

You didn’t grace Tony with a response able to tell that he was upset. Mia rested her head on the top of the cubicle, “Take it Pete wasn’t too nice”. You put your phone into your bag, staring at the clutter on the desk you tried to figure out what you wanted to keep and what you could trash. “Got till the end of the day to tidy this shit up and go”, you lazily spoke deciding that your nails were a lot more interesting. Mia made her way around into your cubicle, “Looks like I better help you then”.

It was around 4pm when you finally got home.

Two small cardboard boxes were discarded by your door containing what little desk ordinates you’d deemed worthy of being saved. The rest was trashed, Mia drove you home thankfully so you didn’t have to struggle with the boxes on the bus. Your room was just as messy as you left it this morning only adding to your soured mood. Discarding your work heels you waddled over to your bed and dramatically fell onto it. As much as you wanted to sleep you could feel it evading you, much like you were avoiding checking your constantly buzzing phone. To distract yourself you decided to go job hunting, not the best way to spend a Friday evening but it was better than moping around.

You didn’t even bother to tidy up your bed sheets as you slowly opened your laptop lid and sluggishly began browsing. You phone pinged again and finally you welcomed the distraction.

Grabbing it you began to read through the notifications ignoring most of them until you came to Tony’s messages:

From: Daddy ♡

are you free yet princess??? xoxo ---- work’s boring wanna play?? xo ---- c’mon (Y/N) u know i dont like the silent treatment :( x ---- miss u baby girl ♡

You rolled your eyes, as annoyed at him as you were, you couldn’t resist the charisma he exuded even over text.

To: Daddy ♡

sorry stressful day at work, miss u too x

The local advertisements were boring as ever, nothing was catching your eye. Mia’s words about retiring echoed in your head, maybe it was time to work full time as a sugar baby. You thought about it for a few seconds before you envisioned Tony’s reaction. He could get very jealous when he wanted, maybe you’d bring it up with him if you couldn’t find any suitable job offers.

From: Daddy ♡

it’s okay baby, get dressed im taking u out for dinner. my treat. be there soon xoxo

“Guess I’ll get ready then”, you mumbled tossing your phone onto the bed, like usual you didn’t really have a choice. Gliding over to your wardrobe you pulled the doors open and stared at the contents. Dinner with Tony meant putting on a show and splashing the cash. Plates of expensive food that costed a small fortune for only a minute portion. Wine aged for centuries and dresses fit for models. It was never simple with Tony so there was no way in hell you could get away with putting on a t-shirt and jeans.

Your hands slipped over costly gowns made of the finest silks and other fabrics, the colours wonderfully exuberant in the gentle light. All beautiful gifts from Tony. He loved to spoil you, loved to have you on his arm in some sheer, little black dress that showed your delicate curves and long legs, loved the way people would look longingly at you both, jealous that you were with each other. Time was quickly passing by as you studied each dress, they all fit you perfectly and you adored each one. Usually you would’ve asked Tony what colour his suit would be so you could match but you didn’t have time. Sighing for what felt like the billionth time that day you automatically reached for a short black one but your hand hesitated. Hovering over to a red dress you decided to switch things up. The makeup on your face was simple just like the small, black clutch you paired with your black heels. Your phone whistled and you took that as your signal.

Skipping outside you first saw pricey convertible, you opened the passenger door and ducked in.

“Hey princess, aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes?”, Tony grinned, leaning over he placed a peck on your cheek, “Booked a place at your favourite restaurant, in your favourite booth too”. You barely had time to pull the safety belt around you before Tony pressed his foot to the peddle and jetted off.

/////////\\\\\\\\\

As much as Tony joked, complimented you and even touched you affectionately, the smile on your face didn’t quite meet your eyes and he couldn’t help but to be bothered by it.

“You know if you didn’t want to be here you could’ve just said no”, Tony half-smiled trying to keep the mood jovial although you could hear the underlying sadness in his tone. You tried to remain playful as you dismissed him, “Like you would’ve taken no for an answer”, your eyes then drifted around the restaurant. You were situated in a booth a few metres away from the other customers, almost secluded from everyone else. The booth was next to a massive window which showed the outside world below, it was dark now and the lights from various buildings lit up the night sky like fairy lights on a Christmas tree. Tony moved a little closer, his knee touching your own as he rested one of his large hands on it, “Alright you got me there but there’s something bothering you, so spill the beans (Y/N), I can’t help you otherwise”. This made your attention float back over to him; he was looking at you with such a sincere look in his wide brown eyes, he squeezed your knee encouragingly and you couldn’t help but crack before him. It was one of the reasons why you were still in an arrangement with him, Tony was so caring unlike any other man you’d ever met before.

A pouty look caused your bottom lip to jut out. Tony didn’t even try to hide his eyes glancing to them, dirty thoughts blooming in his mind. You continued to hold the expression secretly basking in knowing how it affected him. “I got fired because of you”. Finally Tony made eye contact with you, his eyebrows rising at the statement, “I got you fired? So that’s why you’ve been so pissy. Was it because of these?”, he rasped as he touched the few hickies visible on your neck and scattered just above the cut of the dress’ cleavage. Memories of last night invaded his mind and he couldn’t help but to smirk. You slapped his hand away, “No. You made me late again because I didn’t wake up in time”. Tony let his hand fall back to your knee, his eyebrows now knitted in confusion, “Sweetheart that sounds like you’re blaming me for a you problem”. You were starting to get irked again. There was truth on Tony’s part, you should’ve set alarms but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of agreeing with him. “No it is your fault, you came round late and let me fall asleep straight after”, your emotions were obvious on your features. You were about to swat his hand off your knee but Tony tightened his grip, a sacrilegious smile plastered to him.

“My bad princess, you’re right, it’s my fault”, Tony’s calloused fingers ghosted up your exposed thigh, “Let daddy make it up to you”.

Your eyes widened slightly as he started to push your dress up higher, he scooted closer to you in the booth completely intoxicating you with all of his being, “What? Here?”, Tony laughed at your incredulous tone, freezing his actions as you held his wrist in place. He leaned in to kiss your neck, “Let daddy make you happy princess”. You stifled a moan as his teeth grazed across one of your bruises, your grip on his wrist temporarily loosened as the first bouts of pleasure stirred within you. Tony leaned back into the booth, his other hand came to pull you into his side to urge you to relax, your head rested on his shoulder but you weren’t entirely comfortable yet, “What if someone sees?”. Tony placed a gentle kiss to your crown, “Just relax baby, I’ve got you”.

His finger flitted over your clothed pussy, hot to the touch, you whimpered softly involuntarily feeling your legs flinch open to allow him more room. “That’s my good girl”, Tony cooed, you gripped his bicep as you let him please you. To anyone else in the restaurant it would’ve looked like you were cuddling Tony, but little did they know he was about to be knuckle-deep in your cunt.

Tony started to rub with two fingers, ever so slightly bumping against you clit as he stroked up and down. You tried to keep your breathing even, going as far as to bite your lip. “That’s it princess, just let daddy take care of you”, he praised feeling your panties dampen. He took it as cue that you wanted more. The attention stopped ever so suddenly. Tony pulled your underwear to the side, the air was cool against your core which was burning hot. His fingers were poised over your entrance, his voice was a low whisper that commanded your attention, “Tell daddy what you want, beg for it”. Tony had gotten you so worked up from the teasing that you didn’t stop yourself from indulging him. You cheeks were dusted pink as you briefly lifted your head to see his eyes, “Please daddy, I want you to fuck me with your fingers, please”, you mewled looking sultrily at him through your lashes. “God you’re perfect princess”, he replied, leaning into kiss you. His tongue made its way into your mouth and just in time as he finally plunged his fingers into your slit, a groan erupted from you but Tony swallowed it.

Your tongues clashed perfectly in time to the rhythm Tony’s fingers were pounding into you at. Tony was the first to pull away, his lips swollen and hair slightly tousled, “When I first saw you in that dress tonight I knew sooner or later I’d have to touch you”, Tony slowed his fingers to deliver deeper strokes. You tried to resist the urge to buck up to meet his hand by squeezing his bicep, one dodgy move and people would know what you were up to. “I can’t wait till we blow this joint because I’m going to bend you over my car and fuck you silly”. You bit your lip to suppressed a hum, Tony continued, “And that’s a promise baby girl”, his fingers sped up again. Luckily the atmosphere of the restaurant was loud enough to block out the elicit noise of Tony’s fingers squelching in your pussy. Tony added another finger to stretch you deliciously while he used another to rub your clit in tiny circles.

“Oh god daddy”, you purred feeling yourself getting closer to orgasm. Tony started to curl his fingers deliberately to hit spots within you that usual made you scream. You teeth drew blood as you harshly bit down on the inside of your cheek. “Gonna cum for me?”, he murmured into your ear, nuzzling it with his nose. “Yes”, you said breathily. It seemed impossible but Tony went even faster, your hips wiggled ever so slightly, “Then do it”, he instructed. With a few more well placed thrusts from his fingers your pussy clenched, warmth gushed around them. Tony was sure you’d bruised his arm from how hard your fingernails were digging but he didn’t mind. He helped you to ride out your orgasm, eventually stopping his movements altogether when you were done, “Good girl”, Tony commented withdrawing his fingers, he placed your now soaked underwear back in place. A raging blush blossomed on your face as you knew there’d be a wet spot on the chair.

Tony wickedly licked his fingers clean, “You taste sweeter than any dessert, am I forgiven now?”.

Your lungs were still heaving in your chest, “I guess so, thank you daddy”, you pecked his lips and revelled in the fact you could taste yourself on them. Tony smiled at you, “Only guess so? I can get you your old job back if you want it, all you have to do is give me the name of your boss”. You shook your head, you tugged your red dress down until it was covering you correctly, “I’ll find a new one”. The last thing you wanted was for the people at your old workplace to know you were banging the Iron Avenger. Tony still grinned at you, “I can help with that too. Can even up your allowance till we find you a suitable place”, he finished with a wink. As grateful as you were, you didn’t need him to hold your hand everywhere you went, “Thank you but I’m sure I’ll get one just fine”.

“Alright suit yourself”, he chuckled loving how self-assure you were. A waiter approached your table carrying the orders of food, “Perfect timing, we’ve worked up quite an appetite”.

208 notes · View notes

mysmedrabbles · 5 years ago

Text

RFA + V and Saeran Reacting to MC Being a Male Idol

requested: by anonymous

a/n: know that throughout writing this whole thing i was imagining mc as being Taehyun from txt ,,,, also im just gonna pretend like most of korea isn't blatantly homophobic and instead focus on the fluff

like kpop? want more kpop rfa crossovers? donate here to keep me alive and able to work!

warnings: n/a

-tbh not fit enough to be an idol mod alex

Jumin

-frankly he has no idea who you are, so its pretty much from square one with him

-for a while until the two of you get fully used to being together, he actively avoids looking up who you are,,, he wants to know you as you and nothing else

-eventually of course, curiosity gets the better of him and he does look you up on YouTube

-he can’t help but admit you’re extremely talented, the cinematography, of course excellent... but he cant stop focusing on the way you move, strong legs propelling you forward, baggy shirt failing to hide defined muscles, cocky smile as you rap your lines, hair sw- jumin no. jumin yes

-jumin han does gay

-your music style isn’t his favorite, preferring the smooth sound of bow grazing softly on violin strings as opposed to softcore rap, but the songs are catchy, he’ll give you that

-he supports you of course, and secretly buys all your merch

-jumins main issue was with how popular you were, not (only) out of a place of timid jealousy, but also because it made going places so much harder, and your manager was even worse, constantly yelling at you and demanding you practice more

-you always come home from practice exhausted, collapsing into your husbands arms as you curl up under his solid embrace, savoring the few minutes you had of complete and utter freedom.

-highly disgruntled when you have to go on tour

-tries his best to accompany you on tour, scheduling meetings with people he needed to have meetings with anyway nearby where you were performing just to get a few more hours with you

Jaehee

-supportive! she’ll never admit it, but she listens to your music on her way to work, it helps her wake up and feel cheery for the new day, getting her pumped and ready

-yes she owns all your albums

-loves you a l m o s t as much as she loves zen

-she visits you during practice, unable to stop herself from ogling at the way you move so gracefully, yet holding yourself with so much power as you dance

-she lets it slip that you’re not her bias, however if it makes you feel any better you are her bias wrecker

-yes she has a favourite photoshoot of yours and yes she does have a small folder in her gallery dedicated to photos that she deems make her want to cry

-she gets along really well with the rest of the members, and they always invite her with you guys to hang out after work, going together to get Bulgogi or Samgyeopsal

Yoosung

-in awe

-in love

-he’s not generally one for your style of music but seeing you and your group perform, he falls in love almost instantly, bingeing on all your videos, eyes focused on you in every MV, every interview,, he’s so proud of his boyfriend!!

-hes always singing your songs under his breath, albeit badly, but its funny to hear him mumbling incoherent melodies as he’s cooking, especially when you sneak up behind him and attack him in a hug, making is voice squeak out in surprise

-constantly bragging to his friends that his boyfriend is an idol!! (assuming you’re in like,,, JinHit or something where you're,, allowed to openly date)

-he’s in the front row of every single show you go to! proudly wearing your merch and calling out your name like any other fanboy, so excited and proud of how far you’ve come

-he likes coming to the studio and watching you and the other members rehearse

-often times when you’re working late he’ll come with food in hand, refusing to leave until you eat and take a break. even then he doesnt leave, instead, determined, he waits for you to finish your work, but ultimately falling asleep on the couch behind you

Seven

- “STREAM (group name)’S NEW SINGLE CROWN PIANO!!!!”

-wdym join the amino? seven Created your groups amino page

-he’s your number one fan, constantly applauding your work and keeping your spirits uplifted, often you’ll walk in on him watching dance tutorials of your choreography, messing around and trying to learn certain moves

-he grins so widely when you walk in, watching him goof off from the doorway, completely in love with the boy in front of you

-pulls you in the room, music still blasting on high as you dance spasmodically together, no a care in the world, just you, him and the 10 CCTV cameras

-while he’s working, muttering numbers and words foreign to you, you’re right there next to him muttering song lyrics and melodies, composing music and bits, guitar riffs and lyrics

-every once in a while when you want his opinion on something, you just unplug his headphones from his laptop and plug it into yours staring at him intently until he gives feedback

-10/10 will hack into your schedule (at JinHit) if you seem more exhausted than usual, giving you more days to rest and recover from any injuries you may have received the days before in practice

-he has attended every single one of your meet n greets, until at some point he became something of a cryptid on the internet, no one knowing who the man with the red hair and funky glasses is any why he’s always with you

-they're gay Steven

Zen

-P-O-W-E-R-C-O-U-P-L-E

-not only are you the hottest couple in Korea, but also undoubtedly the most committed to their work, and yet somehow both of you maintain a stable relationship

-it takes a lot of communication seeing as you both have hectic work lives, but both you and Zen have a schedule where both of you finish work around the same time, him generally finishing a bit earlier, then coming to your studio to pick you up and go home together, then spending the rest of your time together

- “mc please teach me the choreo to your new dance!!!!!”

-he purposefully fails, just as an excuse to make you touch him, readjust his arms, hold his hips as you show him the right way to do something

-having extensive skincare routines together and working out constantly, him putting emphasis on how you need to stay healthy and gorgeous

-casually dropping his name in interviews and everyone goes insane, best crossover of the century

-another power couple

-your instagram is filled with stunning photos of the two of you because of him, having the cutest photoshoots together

-such a supportive bean! he loves your dedication to your work, and how hard you’re always practicing

-he’s never really heard of your group, but he has a nice appreciation of your music, what really gets him is how expertly crafted your music videos are

-he’s not sure how to really react to your fame, but the steadily increasing amount of bodyguards around the two of you might be one way to cope

-since he’s a freelancer he can generally come with you wherever you go for tours and interviews, and because of this he’s had quite the increase of fame, getting new perspectives and ideas for new photographic series

-he gets v e r y clingy when you come home from practice late, this whole ass 5′10 man curling up next to you, burying his head in your chest, and with your arms having no where else to go except for go around him, you earn a small whimper from V, his hands clinging onto your shirt as you feel all the tension and stress leave his body

-please dont leave your husband alone for so long

-overall he’s just extraordinarily proud of you, because he knows how hard it is to stay relevant and survive in the any korean industry, but especially entertainment and music

Saeran

-hates when you go on tour

-cant help but admit he likes your music

-but hates tour

-shy bean when he remembers he’s married to one of the top Kings of Kpop, and always wondering if he’s enough for you

-at one point he got so frustrated at the fact that it’d been exactly 46 days since he’d last seen you, and the constant string of thirst everyone showed for HIS husband on social media got to him so much that he shows up at the airport where hundreds of screaming fangirls await. your bodyguards recognize him immediately and let him through.

-he promptly takes your arm as he drags you back and away into the plane, pressing you up against the wall as he kisses you intensely, bottled up frustration exploding in passion, leaving the fans very confused as to why someone kidnapped you again

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legitlaur · 6 years ago

Text

Golden Hour part 3 // p.p

Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 2.2k whoops

Warnings: Cheesy, awkward social encounters, the occasional swears, not edited (very well)

Summary: You didn’t think having photography with Peter Parker would be of any significance to your life, that is until you were with him at Golden Hour.

Note: sorry its legit the slowest story ever, im working on cutting down the fluff so it finally gets good. anywho thanks for reading, much love.

PART 2

not my gif

Monday after school you had a job interview at a bookstore near the school. Before that you were supposed to meet up with Jonah to exchange phones.

“I wish you had a picture of this kid. Or a last name. We can’t even find his instagram.” Mimi complained during lunch.

“Speaking of instagram. Has there been any activity on my account? I didn’t change my password so he has access to it.” You explained.

Mimi turned on her phone, “I’ll check. This is perfect, we can use this as a trust exercise.”

You moved closer to Mimi, both of you looking at her screen. As you searched through your instagram there weren’t any recent likes. The memes Mimi had sent you remained unopened.

“Wow. This kid is golden. You better go out on a date with him,” Mimi popped a piece of cantaloupe in her mouth, “When are you seeing him again?”

You checked the time in her phone, “He said he’d be here right after school. I told him I have a job interview at 3:45 that I can’t miss.”

“Let’s meet up after school in the bathroom by physics and fix you.” Mimi suggested.

“Fix me?” you asked.

“Oh y/n. If you want a boy to like you, you’ve gotta do something about that hair.” She sighed.

You fought back, but Mimi was resilient. You agreed only to shut her up.

When the bell rang to get out of your last class, you slowly made your way to the science hall. Mimi would come find you if you didn’t meet her there. As you walked through the hall you noticed Peter and his friends. Ned Leeds and Michelle Jones. The perfect way to get out of meeting up with Mimi.

“Hey Peter.” You shouted as you walked into their small circle.

He smiled, “Hey y/n. This is Ned and MJ.”

“It’s Michelle, only my friends can call me MJ.” Michelle glared at Peter.

You frowned, “So what's up with you guys?”

“We are planning our next movie marathon. Lord of the Rings or Star Wars. We did Star Trek last month so I was thinking Lord of the Rings because its not space.” Ned excitedly explained.

You laughed, “I personally like The Hobbit more than Lord of the Rings,. So that's what I would watch.”

“No way. I love The Hobbit movies. We are definitely doing The Hobbit.” Peter exclaimed.

Ned looked at you, “Y/n you should totally come. Its great. We all wear pajamas and Peters aunt orders tons of food. We watch all day.”

Peter gave Ned a weird look, “Or, um I bet you have something better to do on your weekend.”

You wrapped your arm around Peter, “Actually no, I don’t. I’ll be there. Someone just text me the details,” You dropped your arm and started to the bathroom, “I’ll see you guys later.”

Mimi was leaning on the wall outside the bathroom, “Hurry up. My mom needs me home and I’m trying to help you. But you’re off socializing with,” She gestures towards Peter and his friends, “them.”

“Sorry. Let’s get this over with. I need to go meet Jonah.” You look at the phone in your hand.

You follow her into the bathroom where she wets your y/c/h. She brushed, and brushed.

“My goodness Mimi. I’m not gonna have any hair left.” You yelped.

“Sorry,” She patted it down one last time, “You’re good to go. Call me after. I wanna hear everything,” she ran out of the bathroom.

You fix your shirt, and look in the mirror. If Jonah didn’t like you when you liked like this, then he wasn’t the right guy for you. You sigh and head to the front of the school. Jonah wasn’t there yet. You sit down on the stairs and check the time..

3:10pm

You text him.

Where are you? Remember I have my job interview?

He didn’t respond, you sat with nervous knees.

3:20pm

You couldn’t be late for your interview, you texted him again. You sat patiently hoping he’d show.

“Y/n? What are you still doing here? Don’t you have a job interview?” Peter came and sat next to you.

You moved closer to him, hoping to use his body heat to get warm, “Yeah,” You shivered, “You know this phone,” you held out the Iphone X, “Well it’s not mine. It’s a kid named Jonah’s.”

You then went on to explain the whole story to Peter. Even Jonah’s good looks, and the butterflies in your stomach.

“So you’ve got a crush on this Jonah?” Peter smirked.

You pushed Peter with your body, “Shut it. I doubt it’s gonna go anywhere.”

Peter laughed, “I, I’m pretty sure it will. Just let things play out.”

You smiled, “Parker you know you give really good relationship advice.”

He shrugged, “It's what I do.”

You checked the time.

3:30

“I guess I’m walking. We love that.” You got up.

Peter stood up, adjusting the grip on his bag, “Want me to walk you?”

“No. You’ve gotta get to your internship. I’ll text you later and let you know how it goes,” you reached up and wrapped your arms around Peter, embracing him in a hug, “Thanks. I’ll see ya later.” Peters body was stiff, he raised his arm and patted your back awkwardly. You let go, Peter ran the other direction, you texted Jonah.

I’m leaving for my interview. I’ll call you after. You better answer.

Disappointed you ran from the school to the bookstore. The welcome bell rang.

“My name is y/n y/l/n. I’m here for a job interview.” You panted.

The cashier spoke into his earpiece, “Andrews your interview is here.”

Moments later a man came out of the back door, “Y/n?”

You nod, he comes to shake your hand, “I’m Alec Andrews, lets go into my office.”

He led you into a room behind the register. There was a small desk, and a few chairs.

You sat down and smiled.

“I hope you know you were late.” He sits down across from you.

You look at the time on his computer.

4:00pm

“I’m so sorry. I have a really good explanation. So I accide-”

“I’d rather not hear it if that's okay. I understand life happens.”

You went through the interview process, he asked you lots of questions. You happily answered them.

“Everything looks good, we will get back to you shortly.” Alec put your resume on top of a pile, you assumed were other resumes.

You thanked him and left. Once you got outside you checked Jonah's phone, there were six missed calls. You clicked one, waiting for him to answer.

“Y/n? I am so sorry. Can you please forgive me? I had to help move my grandma into an old folks home, and I wasn’t paying attention to the ti-”

“Its okay, are you free now? I’d really like to get my phone back.” You barked.

“Yeah, where are you? I’ll come to you.”

You told him the address of the bookstore, he said he would be there shortly. You were instructed not to leave for any reason.

Leaning against the wall of the bookstore you waiting patiently. Constantly looking at the people in the streets, hoping to see the blonde haired mystery boy again. A bright red Lamborghini zoomed past, only to make a sharp illegal u-turn. Pulling over, the window went down, “Hop in.”

You looked closer and saw Jonah. You threw your bag over your shoulder and ran into the street, he opened the doors. You carefully crammed in.

“Sorry about that. I thought this place was further down.” He turned on his blinker.

Still flustered you nodded, “So is this your car?”

“Cherry? I wish. Nope she’s my dads. It was the only car out and I needed to get here fast.” He chuckled.

“Where the hell were you? I was late to my interview. Wanna know why? Because of you. I just want to you know that when I don’t get that job it’s gonna be on you.” You screamed.

Jonah's face went pale, “y/n calm down. I have reasons.” “Helping your grandma? Please, that's the best you can do?” You interrupted.

“I also got you a coffee,” He help up a starbucks coffee.

You took it gingerly, carefully sipping, “You’re lucky I like all coffee.”

You saw your phone in the cup holder, you pulled Jonah's out of your pocket and switched them back.

Looking at through your notifications you smiled, your instagram hadn’t been touched. As for your messages there was a recent text. The contact read Jonah with a pink heart.

“Woah you assume because you caught me on the subway that I actually fell for you? If I recall there’s nothing going on between us.” You asked.

Jonah looked into your eyes, forgetting that he was driving a $200,000 car, “Yet,” he turned the radio down, “I kinda was planning a really cheesy way to ask you out.”

“Let's hear. How cheesy can it be?” You laughed.

His cheeks went bright pink, “It’s pretty bad. Let's just say it included me dramatically running to you at your school. Something about getting on my knees, offering your phone to you as a token of my loyalty to you if you would go on a date with me.”

You were wheezing, “Oh man. I definitely would’ve said yes. Now, I’m not so sure.”

He pulled over, and put the car in park, “y/n, I don’t know your last name.”

“y/l/n.” You informed him.

“Okay. y/n y/l/n, will you do me the honor of going out on a date with me?” He gave his best puppy dog face.

You took his hand and grasped it tightly, “Jonah?”

“Jonah Richardson.”

“Jonah Richardson it would be my pleasure to go out on a date with you.” You giggled.

Jonah was laughing too. His blonde hair moving everywhere. He looked so precious when he was laughing, not trying to impress anyone. He looked truly content.

“You’re cute when you laugh.”

Jonah looked startled, then he turned into his weird flirty self, “So you do find me attractive?”

“Cute and attractive are very different,” You covered your face hoping to hide your blushing cheeks.

Getting a little too close to your face he smirked, “You’ll find me attractive soon enough.”

You pull back, “I’m harder to impress than you think.”

He took your hand, and intertwined it with his, “Are you free now?”

You blushed, relaxed your hand, and answered, “Yeah.”

Jonah’s smile widened, “Let’s go now then.”

“Go where?” You asked.

He turned onto a street you’d never been on, “On our date, silly.”

You ran your hand through your hair, “Oh.”

Jonah parked and led you to a Mcdonald’s, “I know it’s not very classy, but Mcdonald’s hash browns are the only ones I’ll eat.”

You took his hand, and swung it as you walking into the fast food chain, “Mcdonald’s is perfect.”

You ordered and sat across from from each other.

“So you live in Queens?” You asked.

He took a bite of his hash brown, “Born and raised.”

“Where do you go to school?” You continued.

“I go to a private school part time, my dad wants me to learn the family business. Says it’s more important than a high school diploma.” He shrugged.

You dipped your fry in ketchup, “Family business?”

“Richardson Science and Technology. Ever heard of it?” He asked.

Your mouth dropped, “Your dad owns RST?”

He sipped his milkshake while nodding.

You only knew about the company because you saw Peter reading articles about it in photography, you’d asked him about it. They were some huge corporation that started up not to long ago, it was getting as big as Stark Industries.

“So what do you for fun?” You changed the subject.

“Drive, box, and watch a good movie.” His eyes were wandering.

You looked around to see what he was looking at, everywhere seemed normal.

He brought his attention back to you, “So, y/n what about you?”

You shrugged, “Not much to say. I’m a 16 year old, a Junior at MSST, my mom expects perfection so that’s what I give. I guess?”

Jonah grabbed your hand, and gently kissed your knuckles, “You are perfection.”

The night went on and you learned more about each other, finally Jonah looked at the time.

9:40

“Crap,” He threw his trash in his bag and stood up, “I gotta get you home.”

You followed him and ran out to the car. He took your hand again in the car. You smiled and explained how to get to your apartment.

He parked, opened the door for you, and even walked you up to your apartment.

“So,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “I’ll text you later, if that’s okay.”

You turn the key in the lock., “More than okay,” you turn to face him, “Thanks for the ride home.”

Leaning up you kissed his cheek, “Night.”

He leaned against the doorway, “Good night y/n.”

You closed the door smiling.

TO BE CONTINUED

Tag list: @victorianfatmycroft @laurrenhawker

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mcggiemon · 6 years ago

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MAGDALENE “MAGGIE” MONROE [ELIZA SCANLEN] is a SOPHOMORE at Broadripple Academy.SHE is 16 years old, from NIGHMORE, MA and has been at Broadripple Academy for 2 years.

round 2 bitches!!!!!!!!! (hi fam its admin s)

fun fact: maggie was gonna be my first character in broadripple but then i got nervy and was like mmm lets bring the less weird one in first

another fun fact: probs wont ever make graphics for maggie bc eliza has like 1 photoshoot and no active instagram its a real issue in my life

anyways

she’s fucking weird im so sorry in advance im tryna cHaLLeNgE MySeLf aS a wRiTeR but also she’s a sweet kid so give her a chance

goes by maggie, thinks magdalene is extra and embarrassing af

born and bred in nighmore, that’s right she and her family live in the weird ass town near broadripple. her family runs a local small dairy farm and does missionary work but she’s never left the state.

she’s a legacy student and is in fact, fifth generation. supposedly it goes back further than that, if u ask maggie (or even if u dont ask her) she’ll tell u all about how her great, great, great, great, great, great aunt was one of the nuns hat helped form the school

so obv broadripple is a big deal to her and her family sHAME SHES A FUCKIN DUMBASS

i mean not really but her grades weren’t broadripple standard before she got there. she had to work her butt off with tutors and extra curricular to pull up her grades and up her application to get in even though her family had such a long legacy with the school

she just gets distracted v easily and wants to talk to everyone forever she has a lot to say ok

is religious af but also curious af. she’s kinda used to very strict rules on what to wear and what to do and what to believe to fufil “god’s plan for her” but is also like oh wtf r these guys doing ? partying ? gossiping ? i wanna do that, but for our lord jesus amen

is just like .... intense. there’s no other way to say it, she thinks everyone is her best friend, it worse if ur nice to her. she is not very socially smart ? she can’t read situations v well and for that reason comes on too strong and like weird i legit dont know how to explain it read the bio pls im so much smarter there

also random shit: really into nature. loves plants loves animals, likes the more natural side of the religious thing. to quote spotlight “ the church is made of men, i believe in the eternal” but also goes to mass like three times a week and does alter serving for two churches like bitch need to chill

is a gullible bitch

has a weheartit here (tw: teeth, idk one of the first pics is a tooth and its weird idk i warned u)

and no other gif explains maggie vs. everyone else more than this gif with amy adams

her actual bio can be found here yee yee

#bahq:intro #( about )

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rigelmejo · 4 years ago

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theres a million reasons 2 hate the great firewall, most importantly probably just because its restrictive to everyone inside it’s ability to access info widely, and its an example being set that other countries no doubt consider the more they see it. and im a big fan of libraries, of local communities having lots of options on how to share info, on people getting broad experiences by getting to connect to many different people and their perspectives, which are all kinda... much harder and impossible and certainly hurt rather than supported in such an enviornment. people are people, so they adapt and still do all these very human things. but it sure does suck when the systems in place actively get in the way of it.

but like on a much smaller more personal thing i just arghh about it - i really hate how it really just top to bottom puts a barrier between mainland chinese people and everyone else. i remember it took ages to make a weibo, and my weibo just barely-got-made and the moment i forget my password it will cease to exist again - just cause weibo like most chinese sites is set up to desperately want to refuse to work if you don’t have a chinese phone number etc. i couldn’t get whatsapp to chat with my chinese friends because of the same issue - it didn’t like my ordinary us number, so it just refused to let me verify. i can only talk to them if they use sites that likely they need vpns for, and that sucks that they should have to use vpns to connect to some ppl they know or people they’d like to meet agh.

and there’s just a handful of apps/sites we can all use easily to interact, and every so often china just goes ‘nope’ and then blocks their side off so neither side can interact anymore without a vpn on china side and a huge amount of hoops/possibly a vpn/possibly no way at all from an outside location. ao3 used to be a site we could all access and interact on, now its not. i remember when deviantart used to be a site we could all access, then the great firewall decided to block that art site and i lost contact and updates on a ton of people. i love that i CAN get on weibo and at least see updates from some people and message some people, but weibo was so utterly hard to login to that i know i’ll eventually lose access to my account forever just... whenever. i’ve got one language learning app where its chinese made, so thankfully it doesn’t block communication and it doesn’t make hoops for outside people to access - but i’ve heard mixed things about hoops it makes chinese mainlanders go through which sucks. and i know it’ll just secretly block/silence you on there at random if you bring up topics it does not want discussed, and theres not really any way to know except by messaging IN SOME OTHER APP your friends and finding out they haven’t gotten your replies/posts since X day you got blocked by the app unknowingly. although theres no ‘don’t talk about X’ rules on the app, there’s definitely an atmosphere of ‘better to just keep convos light and shallow or else be aware u may disappear and lose contact with all these people you know.’ which is just an annoying atmophere to have... especially since regular user-to-user or app-to-people-abusing the app blocking with notifications of the user being blocked and Why, could be more transparent, and work just as well. Like for a while anything covid related got censored/blocked users at random - despite no rules about it and like 90% of users talking about it since we’re IN a pandemic. And a lot of posts about the random blocking... also got removed/users were blocked. So people just randomly dropped off the app, and surprise surprise people still kept talking about covid. It would have been more effective to just say ‘please avoid topics such as ‘covid’ or specifically ‘covid misinformation like potential medical advice’ (like if there’d been issues with people dangerously recommending to drink poison to ‘cure’) or your post will be removed and you will receive a warning/keyword reason, the second offense you will be blocked from the app.’ Like youtube is NOT great about blocking based on dangerous/inflammatory things either, but with covid it did just demonitize covid-related videos for a similar reason, then publicly stated it would potentially be deleting videos spreading dangerous false-cure information. In the best case scenario, of course china companies also are trying to keep their population safe from dangerous-fake-cures being propagated, so of course they’re trying to handle the same issue every country is dealing with regarding that right now. I just think... it could possibly be easier in some cases for them to do it more transparently, clearly. So that users talking about sensitive topics in not-banned manners understand they’re fine, and so that users know if they bring up such topics they should make clear that its their opinion and they’re NOT trying to spread cure-info if they bring it up (which would help cut down on false-cure opinions getting spread like ‘facts’.) Instead its just random people posting all kinds of things, and some dangerous posts getting blocked while others just... remain cause they aren’t noticed. And then other users not breaking the rules get flagged by algorithms and blocked randomly. Again to be fair... i think chinese companies are doing about the same level of good/bad on this as american ones right now. Youtube and twitter and facebook are all succeeding/sucking to various degrees about this too, mostly in the same ways too. It just... gets annoying to me because its just... another big chunk of the chinese firewall being frustrating. Because it doesn’t just happen with covid.

You mention religion or government or the us election or liking girls or whatever, and sometimes you/your friends account is just blocked and suddenly you lose contact with everyone and don’t even know right away. I actually like weibo better, because i feel their ‘banning’ actions are more similar to twitters - break rules and ur just blocked, users can block you/you can block users, etc. But there’s also generally clear rules, unless ur someone say the government views as larger and disliked. But for the average person weibo’s just a lot like twitter. The main issue is just it SUPER discourages/makes impossible anyone outside of mainland to use it, and of course most mainlander chinese using it will be finding it equally difficult to ever get access to sites outside of weibo - lots of people use instagram and twitter but they’re using vpns and do it on a rare/infrequent basis.

So weibo is their main thing to use... like if we were all JUST stuck on twitter as our only social media. Yes we’ve got a LOT of sucky social media outside of china, but we also can easily get to many different ones and go on ones in many countries if we wanted. In contrast, its hard for most anyone not chinese to even register for weibo, you can’t browse if you aren’t a user (so you cant even see what’s going on in the chinese internet sphere), and if you’re from the mainland then you’re equally limited to other sites within that area of access and going to find it very difficult to browse the other sites worldwide. Even though... you know... people are people everywhere. Just because people are limited in access, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t like to talk to people from different cultures and share their own perspectives and open their world up more if they could.

#rant #aghhh #i just. i value access to information and #many various perpectives n cultures #as hugely valuable and a wonderful freedom #i know i deeply appreciated meeting everyone in my city #from different places #i appreciate the perspectives i get on places so different #on their views #and on just being able to know #i can keep in contact with friends #and the firewall makes me sad #its just this. huge barrier that #doesnt necessarily need to be there

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