#but im trying my best to learn from my mom and to make this part of me live

[woestruckalex]

today i made mint tea, and i made moroccan bread, and i burnt incense, and i put on khol and im so habibi coded it's insane

[gatorbites-imagines]

Can you please make more Remy LeBeau content? I love that little Cajun man so much! Please and Thank you!

Remy LeBeau x male reader

Headcanons

I’ve had this plot idea for a while, so im gonna try to shake it out my system. I know very little about Cajun culture, European here, so take it with a grain of salt. Sorry for the lack of posting, classes have already been beating me up and I literally just started.

You were your average Cajun kid when you met Remy, back when he still ran with the thief’s guild and before he was adopted by Jean-Luc.

You were a bit of a stereotype when it came to New Orleans Cajun kids. You liked to cause trouble, you liked to party, you liked to hunt frogs at night and spearfish Gar when there were no frogs. And damn did you like messing with the gators. All your messing around did make you lose your pinky on your right hand, but it didn’t stop you.

You were no mutant, but you might as well have been with all the stuff you got into. You always claimed it was just your Cajun roots that kept you immortal.

That was how you met Remy, through all your troublemaking. Youd just shoved one of your friends bullies into the swamp near your neighborhood, and immediately legged it, knowing his brothers would feed you to the gators if they got the chance.

That’s how you end up running right into Remy, sending you both skittering across the ground. Before he could say anything though, you just grad his wrist with your four fingered hand and drag him along, cackling as the bullies’ brothers try and catch you.

The two of you end up in a completely different neighborhood, hiding under somebodies porch as you try not to snicker as the older boys run right past, cursing up a storm about the “gator bait” getting away. And yes, that was what people called you in your neighborhood, because of your hand.

Remy had expected you to immediately fear him or become disgusted at the sight of his eyes. But instead, you just told him they were cool as fuck and you wished your eyes were like that.

After hiding for a while, the two of you split up to go about your lives. But you end up bumping into each other quite a lot, since you both just like to wander. That’s how you two end up becoming friends, even as hes part of the thieves guild.

You end up dragging him to your house too where he meets your mother. Your dad wasn’t around anymore, he drowned when you were a baby, but your mom said you had his fire and lack of self-preservation.

To Remys shock, your mom didn’t mind his eyes either, just accepting him in with a kind but tired smile. He later learns your mom works two or three jobs depending on the season to keep you guys fed, which is why you have so much time to run around.

You two keep growing up together, even if there at times is distance for different reasons. You keep causing trouble, but get better at hiding it, you become real good at figuring out the area, the waters, the people and animals, so on and so forth.

This helps you get your first job as a guide for tourists. You don’t really like it, but they tip you pretty well. You use that money to take Remy out for sno-balls, or rather, its you going in to get them, so you guys can eat them on your backyard porch.

You both gained a lot of scars over the years from the different lives you lived. Youd never asked Remy about the guild, and he never really asked too much about the different scars on your arms and legs he was sure came from a knife and not fishing wire.

It was also on that porch you guys shared your first kiss. It was clumsy, uncomfortable, your lips stained blue as his were green, from the thick sugary syrups used on the sno-balls. But it was still the best kiss either of you could have imagined.

You two never got to explore too deeply what your relationship meant. one week Remy was more distant than usual, before he suddenly showed up at your place, looking worse to wear, telling you he needed to get out of New Orleans.

You weren’t gonna question him, so you packed him into your truck and just started driving. The entire time he clung to your hand, looking at you so intensely, like hed never see you again. But you tried to keep the mood light, joking as usual and playing your favorite music.

The goodbye was one of the hardest things in your lives. You even told Remy you’d leave him with, ready to leave it all behind to stay by his side, wherever he would go. But Remy knew you had a life here, you had your mom, a good job, other friends, he couldn’t ask that of you.

So, in the end, Remy simply kissed you goodbye, and said he hoped you two would meet again. And disappeared into the night, like something out of a dream.

A couple of hours passed before you decided to drive back home. You smoked through an entire pack of cigarettes, so tempted to also empty the bottle of alcohol you hid under the seat in your truck. But you also knew you needed to return to your mom.

So with one final longing glance in the direction Remy disappeared, you turned back around and drove back home, New Orleans feeling less vibrant and lively than usual.

It would be years before you two meet again, and even then, it had been an accident.

You had left New Orleans behind after Remy left, your mom passed away,  and nothing really kept you there without either of them. It took a while before you finally settled down in New York. It wasn’t the same as where you grew up, but it was good enough for now. And if nothing worked, you could just go back to Louisiana and live in a small shed, where you’d spend your days catching fish.

What brought you together, was that your neighbors kid developed their mutation. Something they couldn’t hide, their eyes so different they couldn’t even use contacts as an excuse.

If their parents had been kind, hadn’t been so openly ex-mutant, you might not have done anything. But you’d heard rumors of Charles Xavier, and how his school helped Mutants like that.

So, you packed your neighbors kid into your truck, the same you’d driven Remy in, with what they needed to bring, and drove them there. Like the ride with Remy, you tried to keep the mood light, hoping to just keep it all from falling apart.

It took some time to get to the school, through whatever security they had, and to the front door. Part of you feared it was the wrong place, until the guy who’d spoken to you over the security comm stepped out. That visor made it pretty clear he wasn’t just your average joe.

Normally you’d have left it at that, leaving the kid with people who knew what they were talking about and doing. But they were too scared to be alone, and after some scowling from a guy that looked like a hairy homeless guy, you were allowed in.

Your thick accent seemed to gain some positive or funny reactions, that same hairy guy from before grumbling “another Cajun”. But you were mainly focused on getting the kid settled.

Of course, until you heard a familiar voice, laying his usual flirts on thick with somebody. Remy was still as handsome as when you last saw him, though a little older, but so were you. The kid was introduced to him, and the two already seemed to bond over their eyes being their main visual of their mutation.

“They reminded me of you, maybe that’s why I felt so protective” you just throw out there, hands in your pockets as you shrugged, your voice immediately catching Remy’s attention, who seemed as shocked to see you as you were him.

It was clear you two knew each other, and that emotional look in your eyes had the others shuffling off to keep showing the kid around, as you two were left alone.

You two go out back to sit on the porch of the mansion. It wasn’t the same as in New Orleans, but it still had your heart racing. It was awkward for a moment, you two sharing what you’d been up too since you last saw each other.

With you, Remy didn’t need to put on the plays like usual, he could just be Remy LeBeau and nobody else, and holding your hand with only four fingers in his own laid to rest some of the pain that had been present for years.

You two didn’t immediately start dating or anything. It was more returning to what was before, without all the stealing and trouble you two used to get into. At least, not to the same degree. But it built at a comfortable pace.

You became an honorary visitor of the mansion, since the kid you brought there still felt quite attached, but also for Remy. You were also able to worm your way into the hearts of the other x-men, some quicker than others, but you did it anyways.

Remy spent a lot of time at your place too, and he even helped you move when you moved just a bit closer to the x-men.

Neither of you could really tell when it went from deep pining to dating. One moment you guys just finally started kissing. The cuddling, sharing clothes and many other things that came with a relationship was something you already did, so the kissing was truly the last part missing.

You do end up having to learn better self-defense, being close to the x-men like that. But for Remy you’d do anything, even doing stretches that have your legs screaming since you aren’t used to bend like that.

[girlbowser]

going to go completely bugfuck insane for a little bit here. we need to talk about ultrose

Ultimate Rose, Pt. 1 (establishing facts)

so

ultrose is a fucking bundle of contradictions, huh?

i think its worth immediately establishing postcanon rose as a liar. specifically, there are a few crucial lies -- lies she tells herself as well -- that define the basis of ultrose. (im mostly going to be looking at candy timeline here, because meat ultrose is a whole other tin can of worms.)

the crucial scenes to compare are the last scene where she talks to john at the peak of the war, and the scene where she plays her hand in beyond canon.

i'm going to skip around this scene (candy 33), but stick with me.

this rose.

this rose right here. this rose who is happy. who loves her wife. who has *a* daughter.

this rose, as she herself describes.

is not "true."

rose firmly believes that knowledge means suffering. which, given the state of her body at the start of the prologue, probably feels deeply true! and her ailment disappearing coincides with her sight vanishing, and her knowledge of The Shape Of Postcanon slipping away. (candy 4)

"For some reason" "whatever it was she felt"

i think it's extremely important to establish here that rose wiped her own mind.

or maybe roxy wiped her mind. or the severing of meat/candy wiped her mind, but that last one feels very unlikely to me considering that this mind-wiped-state is at-will.

and we know that, because during the candy timeline, she is two things:

blind to the world

happy

and in beyond canon, this very same rose, days later, is:

too-aware, and in touch with her powers

deeply miserable

she stopped trying the moment the comic came back. she stopped trying because she never started. that was a whole ass different rose. one without the memories or powers.

if you'd allow me to be insane, i think i know which rose.

from ultdirk describing his experiences (with supplementary text from davepeta), we know what being ultimate is like. we understand that he has access to every splinter of himself, some more prominent than others.

so if rose is able to prioritize bringing one iteration of herself to the front of her mind... which rose would be the best?

which rose would be the happiest, the most pleased by living on earth c? the one blissed by love, the one who would be happy with a daughter and a wife.

it's not our main rose. she was not happy during her wedding. she didn't enjoy her life. she didn't think she'd ever be happy until after the meat/candy split happened.

you know who would have loved that?

what

what is this...... very very important thing doing here?

why is she "correcting" herself? why is she making this distinction? we haven't heard a word spoken about complacency of the learned, maybe at all, in the entire epilogues. and we know rose never really finished the story. it was just some amateur wizardfic.

but say there was another rose. a member of the gestalt, who actually DID finish writing complacency. who fought her whole life for the right to have a family, but ultimately failed.

say there was a rose who was an author.

yeah. i think the rose who gets to act out the bulk of the candy timeline (notably NOT yiffy. that was alllllllll ultrose) is alpha rose. roxy's mom. the one who fought the condesce and lost. and i think she's here simply because she's the best choice.

i mean, fuck, in hs2 rose straight up says it.

so . yeah. this is all establishing stuff for my Insane Theory. my real one about why shes doing all this. how shes doing all this. i have been sitting on this theory for months and if you thought "candy rose is alpha earth rose" is unhinged you aint seen nothing yet

gloves are canon

part 2 is here.

[lovieku]

GOOD LUCK, BABE! #3 ⋆ 정국

what happens when you leave everything behind, only to be faced with it again years later? eunbi is convinced she was given another shot at keeping all she ever wanted, but it’s difficult when that all is her childhood best friend who doesn’t want to do anything with her anymore. how to earn his trust back?

☾ pairing: non idol!jk x fem!oc

☾ genre: childhood friends to strangers, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, smut

☾ word count: 9k +

☾ warnings: explicit language. say hi to eunbi!!! and to the friend group!!! its a bit funny until it becomes angsty … ouch. jeongguk is a bitch lowkey. pun unintended (you’ll see). theyre dramatic as hell. like bro it cant be that serious 😭. im sawrry for this. and its not all!!! see you in fourth chapter 🫡

☾ author’s note: hi hi hi!!! this took a bit to fully convince me but in the end it did. i was frustrated because i felt like i couldnt really use my words properly to tell the whole thing but… here we are now!!! thank u!!! enjoy 🫶🏻

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three ⋆ this is me trying

Up to that point, Eunbi’s life has been a constant adjusting to new surroundings, leaving bits and pieces behind, getting attached to new ones, and hoping they wouldn’t be taken away from her. It would always end up as she feared it would, though. From as early as she can remember, Eunbi would live off her blue backpack, where she gathered a toothbrush, a change of clothes and her favourite plushie to help her sleep and adapt faster to the smaller bed at her dad’s house. When her parents had divorced, it had been a rough patch before the both of them could come to a legal agreement; that being, she would spend the weekend with her father, and then stay with her mother again until Friday rolled around.

She rarely looks back at those days now, but when she does — mostly at night, her mind seemingly incapable of putting a stop to her furious flow of thoughts and just sleep — she thinks if it hadn’t happened to her when she was still pliable and mouldable, when she was yet to be met with what ordinariness was supposed to look like for others, she wouldn’t have been ready to wholly face all that followed. Eunbi was young when she learned that love between two people could end so easily, and her innocent self accepted that as the norm.

As a result, what she found harder to accept, more than her own mother and father not even being able to stand next to one another without ending up quarrelling, was having to leave her small black poodle in Gwangju, with her grandma, after moving away to Busan. Curly (little Eunbi had given him that name for obvious reasons, and to this very day she finds it dumb, but it makes her giggle nonetheless) had been a great companion through the inevitable loneliness she had to face as an only child. She was convinced he could understand her better than no other, even when she would force the tiny creature to sit and listen to her ramble on.

Busan was the next big change that was pushed onto Eunbi, only a few years after her mother got engaged to a man that would soon replace her biological father: with time, sleeping over at his house for the weekend was no longer even a contemplated thought on his side, coming up with excuses after excuses as not to, and that slowly led to showing less and less interest in keeping up with her and meeting up. The little girl had always been numb in relation to such negligence, and because of this she could consider herself lucky in some distorted sense; it didn’t affect her as much as it should have.

Part of that was also due to her step-dad being a great father figure during the initial times of his and her mom’s relationship, making sure to adapt to Eunbi’s pace and boundaries, never overstepping while also being able to bring fun into her life by taking the family out to visit places and eat delicious meals. What he couldn’t do for her, however, was live with a dog. When he and her mother decided to finally move together following their wedding, they both agreed on wanting to restart from a brand new place. Busan was their perfect pick for a variety of reasons: her mom got offered a job at a recently established company that seemed promising, and her step-dad could fulfil his deep-rooted dream of expanding his by starting a new branch.

Every single thing about him seemed perfect to her mom’s eyes, even if he was apparently deathly allergic to dog’s fur. And, of course, she picked her husband over Curly. Eunbi couldn’t believe it, nor accept it. The girl cried over the small dog for the two weeks prior to moving, during the trip to Busan, and for the following days there. Her grandmother would keep her updated by sending pictures of Curly through email, and even after the scar had healed, those would never fail to make her tear up.

As shameful as it might be to admit it, after having dried herself from half the water that made up her body because of the constant crying, it didn’t take long for the scar to close. When she first stepped foot in the big city by the seaside, Curly showed up right in front of her. Just in human form. Big eyes, long black hair and puppy manners, her neighbour was definitely sent to her by something greater. Eunbi was obsessed. It didn’t show at first, her pride prevailing. But it was harder and harder to fight against it. Jeongguk was simply too easy to love.

They became inseparable. Wherever he was, better believe she was there too, attached at his hip. And if they showed up alone, people would naturally ask about the other. Because the moon is never seen without its stars, and sunflowers only ever turn to face the sun. Their bond could be perceived by anyone as unbreakable, a friendship to envy and wish for, and every brick that built it had resulted in the creation of their own safe haven that only had space to contain the two of them. Not anybody else could be let in, the bubble exclusively recognised their password. It wasn’t composed of words, or numbers. It was the look of understanding they would share; the white lies used to cover the mischief of the other; their own handshake, accompanied by an original friendship jingle that Eunbi came up with randomly; the assurance that they could reveal their biggest secrets to one another, and they’d be kept like an oath.

There’s many of those that Eunbi shamelessly revealed to Jeongguk, some with intent and others unleashed spontaneously during their many endless talks. But when she thinks of it, she never admitted the single one that really mattered, the one that her best friend in the whole world needed to know, and remember. At all times. In any circumstance. It wasn’t a secret, it was more a result of her pondering; it came to a full reasonable thought only years later, and by then it was too late to tell him.

Eunbi thinks, and she’s sure, Jeongguk was the reason why all that came before the two of them had to happen. If it didn’t, she would have spent her whole life looking for that missing puzzle piece: under the cushions of the couch, in between her bed sheets, accidentally thrown away in the bin. It was as if all the hardships she experienced were justified, because at the end of the tunnel Jeongguk was waiting for her. And everything finally made sense. The puzzle was complete. Jeongguk was the reason himself. He was sent to teach her an important lesson: everything happens for a reason. There’s a cause and an effect, and even if the cause was suffering, at least the effect was her favourite boy.

Then, a gust of wind had wiped the puzzle to the ground, every single piece losing its place. When her best friend was taken away from her, she stopped being so convinced with the thought she herself had harboured, because she suddenly couldn’t find the meaning behind such a cruel fate. If everything really happened for a reason, then what was it? Jeongguk helped her see colours, only to return to black and white. Leaving him behind had marked the death of a version of herself that she would never get back.

Seoul was big, and harder to adjust to, even more with the baggage she was now dragging behind. Unpacking it, she found out all she had brought with her was a shattered trust and a soon to be broken promise to never get attached again. It was hard to be faithful to such an imposition, when Eunbi was born to give out love. It was hidden in that luggage, in between fears and regrets, but surely present.

And it prevailed in the end. Even at a slower pace, love found its way up and helped a lost Eunbi navigate the big capital city, promising new beginnings and healing. She found that in the faces of people that she would then start to recognise as friends, inside warm cafes during the coldest days of winter, and in the certainty that no matter where she is, she is always looking up at the same moon.

What she has built in Seoul so far feels the closest to stability that she has experienced in years. Starting university and meeting Dahye was the last bit of convincing it took to make her consider once again that a reason could exist, and that in the end it would make sense. Maybe not totally. Maybe just partly is enough after all.

Until, seeing a pair of familiar starry eyes in the midst of dull ones was all she needed to firmly believe in what she had been finding hard to accept. It took one shared look for past and present to get blurred together, and the mixture of old with new feelings created a mess. It was nice, nonetheless. Better than the seemingly impossible to get rid of emptiness at the pit of her heart.

Behind her eyes, Eunbi could see the puzzle slowly reaching its final form again, this time with more missing pieces, but the image was at least recognisable. When Jeongguk showed up in front of her again like magic, she contemplated becoming religious. Getting to her knees and starting praying to whatever greater force was shining on her path to please keep doing that. None of that showed on the outside, her smile breaking and mirroring the expression on the boy’s face. Pure sorrow. She knew she was probably the last person on earth Jeongguk wanted to see, and the fact that he wasn’t even trying to mask it didn’t help.

The most rational response she could come up with at that moment was to act as if nothing ever happened. And then, the bricks that a long time ago held together their safe bubble were being used by the boy to raise a high wall between them, making sure accessing his space would be impossible for Eunbi. Who could blame him? Still, the happiness she shamelessly felt when Jeongguk showed up at her 20th birthday party was too consuming, she selfishly wished for the rest of her birthdays to always look like that as she blew the candles. Nonetheless, when he suddenly left sprinting on his bike she knew the gods would need time to grant her desire. Although, this time around she had faith.

She doesn’t know how long it would take for it to break, though. September getting closer and closer only means that Jeongguk’s birthday is just around the corner. As part of his friend group, she had been involved in the process that led to organising the surprise camping trip, even if she didn’t exactly participate. After all, she doesn’t get to say she knows the boy better than anyone, anymore. Jeongguk has evidently changed, and as a consequence she knows way less about him than the others.

For that exact reason, Eunbi had made various attempts to back down from the trip, fearing her presence could significantly ruin it for the celebrated boy. At first, she tried to be casual about it with Dahye, since she’s the only one she’s opened up to about the whole dilemma, “I think it’s better if I don’t come. After all, it’s a friend trip. I’m not really his friend.” To which her roommate only replied with bullshit, proceeding to type away on her keyboard. That did not help whatsoever.

Then, the night she was too tipsy to take a taxi back home and Jeongguk had offered her a ride on his bike, she came home with a smile on her face only to burst out crying in front of a just as drunk Dahye. In between sobs, she begged to be left out of the trip, “Ple- Please, Dahye. He hates me. I can’t stand it.” Her friend tried to shush her whines, pushing Eunbi’s head on her chest and consoling her, “He doesn’t, baby. I’m sure he doesn’t.”

As a result of that night, Dahye had then sat her friend down with the intent of fully convincing her to be present for Jeongguk’s birthday trip for a number of reasons, “It would be rude to not show up after he was there for your birthday. And also, what if you two end up talking about… things! And everything gets solved! That would be nice, wouldn’t it, Bibi?”

Eunbi had just nodded all the way through the motivating speech, not really understanding nor believing her words, but apparently they were enough to lead her to the present moment: awkwardly squished between Dahye and Jimin on the couch of her flat, while they animatedly converse with the others to approve on the trip schedule. She has never felt so out of place before, not only because she doesn’t feel like she has a say in the whole discussion, but also because as time went by the two friends by her side kept shifting to subtly get closer to one another, not realising they were compressing her body in the process. To the point she is forced to get up, the position she was in being too uncomfortable, and sit on the ground under the couch next to Namjoon.

She can feel her movements being followed by a pair of curious eyes, and when she looks up to meet them, she finds out they belong to the origin of all her worries. Before Jeongguk can divert his attention elsewhere, aware he was caught observing, she gives him a quick tight lipped smile. It goes dismissed, as if it hadn’t happened. Ouch. It’s okay, Eunbi can take it. She used the few days prior to this to mentally prepare. She knows she’s not exactly welcomed anywhere near him, that’s why she made a silent secret pact within herself: whatever happens during the trip, don’t be a bother to Jeongguk. Stay away from him as much as possible, and if not possible, then do anything to avoid putting that frown on his face, exactly the one he’s sporting right now. On a second thought, if just looking at her gets him to react like that, maybe it’s best to mentally wipe that off her list of things to keep in mind for Jeongguk’s birthday camping trip.

With there still being a day left before their minibreak takes off, the girl can already tell it’s going to be hard to follow the flow of that list, Jeongguk making it obvious her presence could have been avoided before the vacation has even started. Still, she remains composed and brushes off what had just happened, instead focusing on the main topic of conversation.

The group (Hoseok) has decided to meet to go over the schedule one last time because, “Everything needs to be perfect, guys. We can’t afford to slip!” It’s still Hoseok talking. Eunbi learned that he had always been the one in charge of organising events and little getaways when it came to the friend group, his obsession with keeping everything under control coming in handy in such scenarios.

Not only that, but the reddish haired guy is also amazingly quick on his feet, and in a relatively short amount of time he has managed to find the perfect excursions and experiences to go over during the trip, making sure every day spent together would be filled with fun activities that he knows the birthday boy is going to look forward to. In between what he has arranged there is cycling, canoeing, trekking, and more stuff that Eunbi can’t keep up with. Surviving this is going to be made ten times harder by the amount of energy that is going to be expected out of her. She sighs at the thought, looking down at her manicured nails. She just got them done, and now they would surely break.

It takes a few seconds for her to realise the sudden silence that fell above the room, and when she looks back up she’s met with eleven pairs of eyes staring at her. She straightens her posture, suddenly too aware of being perceived, and she deduces her previous exhale had been released with more energy than intended. Hoseok sweetly smiles at her, “Anything you don’t agree on, Eunbi?”

The panicked girl opens her mouth to justify herself, her eyes getting wider and shinier with embarrassment, but Dahye beats her to it, “Bibi, didn’t you say you, like, hate cycling? I’m sure we had a whole conversation about it.“

Eunbi is mortified. Her eyes jump from Dahye to Jeongguk, trying to get her best friend to shut up while also registering the boy’s scoff and muted roll of his eyes. Oh god. Her whole be-lowkey-and-make-yourself-unnoticed plan just shattered in a matter of seconds. She can feel Jeongguk’s eyes bore flaming holes into her skull, his arms crossed and his legs furtherly stretching out on the armchair. If she still had a small, tiny hope left that he didn’t fully hate her, she just witnessed that shattering in pieces too.

She quickly shifts to sit on her heels, her hands frantically shaking to try and save her face for what she could, “No, what? I love cycling. Seriously, I’d do it everyday if I could.” She chuckles shakily while subtly shoving Dahye’s knee next to her to signal going with the lie. At first, Dahye looks clearly confused: she was so sure of that information about her roommate. She furrows her brows, looking down at a panicky Eunbi widening her eyes. It takes only a few more seconds for her to suddenly get it, shaking herself from her doubts and catching the ball, “Oh, right! You do! I got it confused with, huh… something else.” The girl mutters that last part only to join her friend in a nervous laugh, and an apologetic smile. Best believe Dahye is going to hear about this later.

Hoseok looks just as puzzled as the others, but nonetheless he nods, announcing the schedule has been officially confirmed. A collective acclaim fills the room, only for the boy to stop it with a raise of his pointer finger, “Now, I will assign you guys in your respective cars.” Which is comically followed by a joint groan, and some protests. Hoseok ignores them, and goes on reading off his perfectly planned out Word document.

”Namjoon is the first driver, and he’s travelling with Iseul, Seokjin and Sora,” he looks up to briefly check with the mentioned members to see if there are any complaints, then proceeds. “We’ve got Yoongi with me, Aera and Taehyung. Then…” Hoseok squints his eyes while scrolling down the document, and those few seconds of silence are enough for Eunbi’s thoughts to anticipate what is about to follow. She lowers her head, unwilling to meet Jeongguk’s glare when Hoseok says, “Jeongguk is driving with Jimin, Dahye and Eunbi. All set?”

The positive response is quick, even too rushed and disregardful of what was said, as Namjoon and Taehyung have been impatiently begging for the never-ending organising to be over so they could order food and finally fill their starved stomachs. No one pays any mind to it, but Eunbi and Jeongguk stay quiet, while Jimin and Dahye share a knowing look. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

The evening is spent in the cramped living room of Eunbi and Dahye’s shared flat, eating pizza and letting a random movie play, which soon only functioned as a background noise the moment Taehyung started a game of Would You Rather. Even if Yoongi initially shushed him, everyone eventually became more delighted with Seokjin’s unthinkable suggestions than with the film, “Would you rather be trapped in a small room with 10,000 tarantulas for 10 minutes, or eat 10 tarantulas in 10 minutes?”

Eunbi tries to let herself be distracted by the content smiles on her friends’ faces, even feels less distressed when she notices Jeongguk relaxing as well, but that doesn’t stop her mind from overflowing with all the things that could potentially go wrong. It inevitably shows on her face, and in her unusual quietness. She has been pondering on the last information Hoseok had shared about the confirmed schedule for hours now, worrying it was going to start the trip on the wrong foot. There were all the best intentions to not poke the sleeping bear, but she fears being in the same car as him is going to stir him awake.

After the group leaves the apartment at past 1 a.m., Hoseok checking with everyone that they’ll show up at 8 sharp tomorrow morning in front of the same building they’re now parting ways from, Eunbi releases a long sigh as she closes the door behind her shoulders. Dahye catches the look on her features immediately, taking her pretty face in between her palms, “I’m sorry for earlier. I was trying to help.” She pouts, and it makes the shorter girl chuckle.

Eunbi shakes her head, dismissing her apology with a small it’s okay, and freeing herself from her friend’s hold so as to avoid meeting her eyes, instead busying herself with tidying up the mess in the living room. Her flatmate looks at the strangely silent girl narrowly, “What are you thinking? Please, don’t let it be something stupid like I don’t wanna drive in Jeongguk’s car.”

When all Dahye is met with is silence, she knows that specific something stupid is flowing in the other girl’s head. Eunbi spends the next hour packing and letting Dahye think she’s wholly convincing her distressed roommate nothing could go wrong from just being close to each other, and if anything, it could be a starting point.

For the sake of getting at least three hours of sleep before the long drive ahead, Eunbi fake promises her friend that she won’t let such thoughts haunt her mind and stop her from enjoying the holiday (she was forced to repeat those exact words) knowing she’s going to let them do precisely that. She also ends up staying awake all night either way, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse that she can use to ask Hoseok if a small change would be possible, hoping it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to him and his perfect plan.

When the following morning rolls around, the group gathers in the courtyard of the flat complex as instructed hours earlier by Hoseok, who looks like he’s on the verge of a serious crisis when it’s one minute past 8 a.m. and Taehyung still hasn’t shown up. Eunbi fears for her life when she taps his shoulder as delicately as she can, still unable to avoid a jumpy reaction from the boy, who then relaxes when he sees the girl’s sweet smile. That lasts for about one second, because when Eunbi softly asks him if they can talk he’s back to puffing out panicky breaths.

She hesitates a moment before uttering in one single exhale, “I’d rather not go in Jeongguk’s car.” Faced with Hoseok’s perplexed stare, she goes on explaining in a rushed, messy speech, “It’s nothing personal, really. It’s just- Iseul! Yeah, Iseul begged me to be in the car with Dahye… She doesn’t know Sora that well so she said it would be way too awkward. I can go with Namjoon!” She ends it by trying to sport a convincing grin on her lips, but with the way it looks like she’s being held at gunpoint to smile it’s doing the exact opposite, not helping in hiding her own panic at all.

Hoseok takes a few seconds to process her request and read her expression, but in the end he just shrugs and nods enthusiastically, “That’s okay!” He then claps his hands twice, recalling the others’ attention who comically snap their heads in unison, hanging on the boss’ lips, “Tiny change. Eunbi doesn’t wanna be in Jeongguk’s car, so she’s going with Namjoon.”

For the second time in under 24 hours, Eunbi is so embarrassed she prays the ground to swallow her whole. Hoseok doesn’t seem to be making a big deal out of the way he worded his announcement, busy typing away on his phone, probably updating his Word document with the recent change. The others don’t look too fazed either, accustomed with the two infamously not being too fond of each other for no apparent reason, except for Dahye and Jimin: the former is looking at the girl incredulously; the latter has shifted his attention to his best friend.

Eunbi can feel cold sweat dripping down her forehead, the weight of the world crushing on her shoulders. She’s afraid to follow Jimin’s line of vision, but as she slowly does, it leads her to meet Jeongguk’s intense gaze, a slight pissed scowl hardening his features along with his brows almost meeting at the bridge of his nose. His all black attire composed of an oversized t-shirt, cargo bermuda shorts and chunky sandals matches perfectly with the look on his face. He seems confused, and unnerved. And sad? This is not how things were supposed to unfold.

Under such pressure, the girl impulsively releases a nervous laugh, her whole face red with awkwardness, “It’s not like I didn’t- Okay! I’ll just go wait in the car.” Her head hangs as she distances herself from the group, finding an escape from Jeongguk’s disappointment in Namjoon’s car. She bangs her head on the dashboard a few times, making the most of the last minutes alone she’s getting before departure.

Starring in that shitshow was not on her list of things to keep in mind for Jeongguk’s birthday camping trip in any way. On the contrary, what she has been trying to do is going by the rules of the list itself: stay away from Jeongguk and don’t be a bother. Instead, the opposite seems to be happening every time she attempts to be nice to him so as to not be a hassle during the trip. Releasing a shaky breath, she hopes her intentions wouldn’t be misinterpreted by the boy, as she tries foolishly convincing herself the telepathy between them still exists, at least to a small extent. She was only doing this for him. To make it easier for him. Please, please send this telepathic message to Jeongguk.

Connection probably isn’t working too well, because when they all get to the destination after a fairly long ride, Jeongguk still looks pissed, shutting the car door with more energy than required and unloading the luggages, taking his and Iseul’s to the entrance of the camping site. Eunbi narrows her eyes as she observes the scene, the short haired girl thanking the previously annoyed boy and effortlessly putting a smile on his lips, and she almost doesn’t notice Namjoon urging her to move. She abruptly shakes herself out of that trance, relaxing her hands that had subconsciously closed into fists, and takes her bags out of the car. As she clumsily drags them on both of her shoulders, her Converses do little to protect her soles from the rocky ground, and she groans. It’s not like she was expecting Namjoon to carry her baggage, she can do it herself. But as she keeps watching Jeongguk easily handling all that weight, she huffs.

The campsite looks amazing. The space that the group has at their disposal is huge and wholly surrounded by nature, making it the perfect getaway from the chaos of the city. Not too far, in between trees, a glimpse of the sun reflecting its rays in a large lake can be caught. Eunbi witnesses an excellently carried out jam session, with the lively enthusiasm of her friends on microphone, birds on percussion and cicadas on bass. She smiles, and sighs contentedly. Dahye’s words from last night echo in her head, don’t let this stop you from enjoying the holiday, and today she wants to believe them. She’s glad she chose to wear jeans shorts instead of cargos, the heat slowly but surely rising, and a flowy white top that keeps her fresh, for now.

Hoseok instructs them to get to work, and they do. All their bags are gathered under a big ancient tree as each couple and trio starts (tries) setting their tents. While they’re busy figuring out how to ensure the tent won’t fly away, which Taehyung fears particularly, Jimin and Jeongguk offer themselves to go and fill everyone’s water flask at a nearby drinking fountain they had found. Eunbi kneels down to fish hers out of a blue backpack and goes to hand it out to Jeongguk, who’s collecting Dahye’s bottle. The boy smiles at her friend, but it gets wiped off when he shifts his gaze on Eunbi’s shorter figure. The moment is brief, and awkward: her big unsure eyes stare into his hardened ones, arm extended out to him, wondering if there might be something funny on her face for him to turn so serious; she hesitantly lifts her brows, waiting for something; Jeongguk looks her up and down, only to not acknowledge her water flask, and just walks past her.

Eunbi is dumbfounded, the tip of her ears reddening as she remains paralysed with her hand out, even after Jimin collects her flask, muttering something close to Don’t mind him, please accompanied by an apologetic smile. She regains consciousness of her surroundings only when, beside her, Dahye can’t help the snort coming out of her mouth, trying but failing to save it with her hand. The still shocked girl slowly turns to face her amused friend, mouth slightly agape and left eye clearly twitching, “Did he just… act as if I don’t exist.”

The situation shouldn’t be funny, but to Dahye it’s the peak of comedy as she keeps giggling the more the slow realisation of what has just happened shows on Eunbi’s features. Obviously, the latter can’t find one single reason to laugh about it, whining while the taller girl pats her shoulder, still smiling, “You really need to talk to him.”

The targeted girl ignores that, biting her nails nervously, ”Was he saying anything about… me, in the car?”

Dahye lifts her brows, shaking her head, ”Nothing. He’s probably talking shit about you with Jimin, though.” Eunbi follows her pointed finger and catches Jeongguk animatedly discussing with his flatmate, balancing the bottles in his arms, before they turn a corner. Eunbi fusses, lightly tugging on her braided pigtails, and she feels helpless as even the friend who’s supposed to be supporting her through all of this is chuckling at her. Despite being shorter, when Eunbi shoves Dahye’s shoulder she manages to make her stumble, but that doesn’t stop her laughs, though.

”You’re building the tent on your own.” Arms crossed and pout on, Eunbi isn’t joking as she goes to sit under the tree surrounded by bags and ignores her name being called out. Rather than reacting to it, she spots tiny bugs between the grass and inspects them for a while, pretending it keeps her distracted from what’s plaguing her mind. Soon after, with her knees to her chest, watching those ants working to transfer food from one side to the other inevitably gets her lost in her thoughts. What is she doing wrong? There’s clearly unresolved problems between her and the boy who brutally ignored her existence minutes ago, but she thought maybe if she started seeking for truce, then he would too. His response, instead, makes her realise no matter how much she tries, it’s apparently not enough to mend what happened all those years ago. She messed up worse than imagined.

The constant pondering makes her lose track of time, and she comes back to reality with undesired outcomes that she convinces herself to be true. When she recovers from the (as she has deduced, deserved) humiliation, Dahye has already set up half of the tent and Eunbi walks over to her bashfully, “Sorry for being childish. I’ll finish this, Hye.” The girl just smiles softly and nods, sending her a flying kiss that makes Eunbi chuckle before taking her previous spot under the tree. At least Dahye doesn’t hate her.

It takes her a while to figure out what to do but she soon grasps how hard a seemingly simple task can be, feeling bad for letting Dahye do a great part of it on her own. Still, she needs to work fast as lunch time is approaching, and everybody around her is almost finished. She has been crouching on a particular spot on the ground for a while now, trying to properly secure an angle of the tent unsuccessfully. Until she groans exasperated, puffing her hair out of her vision and lifting her body up to find a solution. She tries stomping on it a few times, but it doesn’t work, and if anything it worsens the situation. Huffing out, with her hands on her hips she looks around for help, and the first person her eyes fall on is Jeongguk.

He was already staring at her, comfortably sitting on a deckchair with his legs spread and sunglasses on. His tent looks perfectly set already, with Jimin seemingly fixing the inside of it. His hand is covering his mouth before he uses it to lift his glasses over his head, and is that a smirk? They both stare at each other in silence, Eunbi still struggling to breathe, and she hesitates slightly until her eagerness to be over with the tent becomes stronger. She speaks up to make herself heard over the small distance, “Can you- help me?”

Jeongguk narrows her eyes at her, initially not answering but not even moving from his relaxed position. The girl is ready to be met with silence again, but it’s something worse when he opens his mouth, “I think Namjoon would be happy to do that.” He’s as stern as ever as he returns the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, furtherly spreading his whole body on the chair and facing the sun. Only then, he releases a content sigh, smiling slightly.

All of this cannot be real. What does that even mean? Eunbi can feel her eye start to twitch again and she needs to clench her jaw to stop it. It’s okay. Breathe. She unexpectedly but successfully manages to hold herself from exploding on him, both overwhelmed with tent building and frustrated with his behaviour. She can’t really decipher what led him to not only act cold, as he usually is with her, which is fine, but also mean! But no problem, she’ll try once again. It costs nothing to be nice. And she tells herself she’ll stay that way, even if she’s met with the opposite, until he breaks.

The storm of negative emotions tormenting her thoughts can be distortedly seen as a good thing on one side, if she considers that the sudden adrenaline flowing in her body gets her through most of the task without any help, even mindlessly, while she keeps reflecting on the interaction and the previous ones. Why the fuck would Namjoon be happy to help her? Well, he would, he’s naturally a helper, but why did Jeongguk say that? Is he really that pissed about her going in his car? She tries to understand, she really does. Keep being nice is what she tells herself instead.

When the tent is finally up, only with Dahye’s finishing touches, and food is finally in her stomach, refilling her energy tank, it’s like there’s a switch going off in her head, making it seem as if nothing bad has ever happened. Eunbi is back to her talkative self with a full tummy and a bashful grin while her best friend teases her for the earlier tantrum she went on about, but at least it’s all smiles again.

The first day at the campsite is spent basking in the slowness that follows after ticking off the only two activities planned for today on Hoseok’s schedule: setting their tents and preparing meals for lunch and dinner. The boss then instructs the group on just getting acquainted with their surroundings, and they don’t need to be told twice, making the most out of those short remaining moments of ease.

The rest of those hours are used to laze by the huge lake, in between swims and sunbathes. Luckily, Eunbi had packed a few bikinis and she chose to wear a black set, its laces meeting at the back with a bow. Sitting back and taking it easy, before all that she will be faced with the next few days, gives her a chance to get closer to the others. During the earlier drive, she had the opportunity to chat with Sora and discover the sweetheart she truly is, and the car was then easily filled with laughter, mostly provided by Namjoon and Seokjin’s terrible jokes. She now sits by Sora on a beach towel, all the other girls in a circle catching up and laying by the sun. In the back of their gossip session, the boys could be heard laughing and squealing, and the sound reminded Eunbi of sweet childhood. She briefly shifts her attention to them and smiles when she observes how they’re doing the most to tire their energy out, from using a rope hanging by the branch of a tree to leap into the water, to initiating a volleyball match using one of their rolled up towels.

Eunbi grows even fonder than before of the people she’s surrounded with, the earlier stress leaving her body and being replaced by serenity, a small sigh released from her lips before she returns to listen to the girls’ chat. She laughs at something Dahye says and jumps on it excitedly, making the others chuckle at the two friends eagerly recounting one of their craziest uni experiences so far.

All of it is short lived when Taehyung and Jimin suddenly drop a water balloon over their heads, a collective gasp filling the space followed by the two boys’ childish giggles and Dahye’s screams, getting up to run after them. They all spend the rest of the afternoon trying to get back at each other with more pranks, bathing in the lake’s cold water and taking silly group pictures to seal the day. As the sun begins to set, they all sit on their towels and silently observe nature, definitely too tired to speak, and preferring to savour the sweet moment.

When the sun finally leaves its place for the moon to rise and the group of friends gets back to their tents, their stomachs growling signal it’s time for dinner. They take turns to shower using the nearby public structure and then help setting a campfire to cook. It also works as a very needed source of heat, given the temperature has significantly dropped and their bodies are still humid from washing up. Eunbi wears the grey cargos she had discarded earlier this morning when deciding on what to put on, and a white tee, her damp hair falling on her shoulders and making her feel slightly chilly. She comes up beside Yoongi to help him with the meat, benefiting from the warmth of the fire.

There’s not much talk between the two, only the older boy advising her to be careful of the flames every two minutes, but it’s comfortable. Eunbi still has a hard time reading through Yoongi, and maybe it’s what she enjoys the most about him: his aura is soothing and it exudes security. He doesn’t exactly show it, but he’s deeply attentive and caring of his friends, and the girl feels safe next to him. She can sense him looking over at her while the meat is cooking, and as she turns to him she meets his eyes with a smile. He ponders, scanning her face “You got sunburnt. You need to wear sunscreen tomorrow, or it’ll get worse.”

Eunbi chuckles, dragging her pointer finger up and down her red nose, “Yeah, I know. It kinda hurts but it looks like I have natural blush now!”

Yoongi shakes his head with a small amused scoff, “That’s stupid, Eunbi. Wait for me here, I’ll go get you an after-sun cream.” And even as he walks off, he reminds her to not stay too close to the fire. She thinks that’s an exact demonstration of what the boy is truly like in her head.

The girl keeps grilling the meat, humming unknown melodies under her breath, and she almost misses a broad figure sitting on one of the chairs surrounding the fire. When she looks up, it’s Jeongguk avoiding her eyes and instead staring at the flames, their light reflecting in his big orbs and making them shinier. He wears his bermudas from earlier, but he now has a grey Stussy hoodie on top of it. His locks are still wet after freshly coming out of a shower, and they curl on his forehead, making him look like a poodle. She smiles. It’s like 15 years old Jeongguk is there with her again, his bare, exhausted face and droopy eyes taking her back to Busan. Without even realising what she’s doing, she extends a cooked piece of meat his way, “You want some?”

Startled, the boy breaks from his spacing-out and registers the request. He looks between Eunbi and the meat, gulping. He licks his lips, and she swears she can also hear his stomach rumbling. When he keeps ogling the food without replying, she wiggles the fork and his eyes follow its every movement, as if hypnotised. Then, he suddenly screws his eyelids shut and breaks from the trance, simply shaking his head no and fishing his phone out of his pocket, mindlessly scrolling on it. Just like that, she’s back to the present, and Jeongguk hates her. Eunbi narrowly glares at him while he can’t see her.

Yoongi comes back soon after with two different creams in his hands, and he gives them to Eunbi with a chuckle. She thanks him and lets him take over the cooking, while she curiously inspects the products, still standing next to the fire. When Yoongi spots his younger friend on the chair, he asks the same exact question as her, forking a piece of meat, “You want some?”

Jeongguk’s attention is back up, this time on Yoongi, and when he sees what his hyung is referring to he eagerly nods. Eunbi interrupts her examination just in time to see the boy hungrily shoving the food in his mouth, brows furrowed and praising noises accompanying his munching, making the older friend by her side chuckle. Instead, the girl is once again in disbelief, even more as he watches Jeongguk patting his knee with force, satisfied with the bite, “Hyung, this shit is so good. I want more.”

Eunbi scoffs imperceptibly, leaving the scene with an annoyed scowl wrecking her pretty features. As she enters her tent, she’s glad Dahye is still showering as she makes the most of that isolating moment. She sighs wearily and whips out her phone. Using its camera, she tries to ignore her tumbling emotions and instead puts on the creams Yoongi had given her, but not even those are enough to distract her. She’s still incredulous at what she’s being put through, her patience wearing thin, and the pact she made with herself before coming here is dangerously close to being broken.

Dinner is spent with good food and even better people, and only then Eunbi visibly untenses again. In between bites and full mouths, they go from discussing random facts to casually engaging in games of Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever, the beer bottles slowly being emptied while their tummies get filled. When they’re done eating, the relaxed smiles on their faces implicitly communicate how the meal has been the perfect ending to the lovely day spent together. Still, they stay by the fire and keep up an effortless chat. When one of them comments on the limpidity of the sky, its stars being perfectly visible in this zone of Seoul, they all look up and stare in silence at the fullness of the lights.

Even if it’s not too late, the weariness from being out in the sun for multiple consecutive hours is weightening down on most of them, Seokjin and Sora retiring to their tents, soon after being followed by Yoongi and Hoseok.

It’s a little past midnight, and Eunbi starts to feel more and more affected by the cool breeze, its effects showing on her prickled skin. She tries to warm herself up by rubbing her exposed arms with her hands, but it’s to no avail, “God, I’m so cold.”

A collective agreement follows her claim, with Iseul speaking up and curling herself into a ball on the deckchair she’s sitting on by taking her legs up to her chest and hugging them close, “Me too, it’s freezing.”

”Oh, I have a spare hoodie.” Both girls snap their heads at the voice, which belongs to Jeongguk. However, as he quickly gets up to retrieve the sweater from his tent, it’s not clear who between the two he’s referring to, their curious expectant eyes following his every movement. Eunbi has her reasons to feel so eager, given the fact that she has been begging for one nice interaction with the boy, a spark of hope lighting up in her chest at his offer. On the other hand, she doesn’t know why the other girl seems equally excited, twirling her short hair around her fingers as she waits for Jeongguk to come out of the tent again. She huffs, a pout ending on her features.

When the sought-after boy gets back with a blueish crewneck in his arms, both girls hold their breaths, the sudden tension going unnoticed by the others (except for Dahye, she’s like a psychic when it comes to her best friend’s emotions), until Jeongguk lays the piece of clothing on Iseul’s shoulders, coming behind her and then sitting on his chair again.

Iseul bashfully thanks him, the tips of her ears seemingly reddening while a sweet, alluring smile makes its way on her lips. Eunbi scoffs at that, and if looks could kill Iseul would be dead right now. The dirty look she sends her way luckily goes unnoticed, and she keeps hugging her own body trying to provide herself with warmth. When she shifts her attention to Jeongguk, he’s already looking at her, smirking. She can’t be convinced he isn’t doing all this on purpose.

Even with her teeth almost chattering, the neglected girl forces herself to stay with the others until the end, and with Namjoon and Taehyung retiring to sleep only six of them remain. Under a white full moon, the conversation doesn’t really follow a clear direction, steering from existential questions that none really have the answers to, to Jimin’s drunken adventures. Jeongguk giddily joins the recounting and adds many details to it, specifically highlighting the embarrassing parts that his roommate is trying to omit to save face, and making all of his friends laugh with their whole chest, Eunbi included. She simply can’t ignore the fact that he’s naturally charming, and hilarious as well. In the middle of his storytelling, his whole body gets involved and it makes the events seem even more impressive. Eunbi smiles when she compares the Jeongguk in front of her to the beloved one in her past, the one that would sit her down and force her to keep up with his running imagination, constantly up with new ideas for silly scripts.

Then it’s Dahye’s turn to share one of her experiences, and Eunbi inevitably gets thrown into the tale, which had seen the two friends drunkenly sneaking themselves into a concert. It’s like they’re perfectly mirroring Jimin and Jeongguk’s dynamic, because while Dahye is trying to leave out critical parts of the story, Eunbi strongly insists on specifying them with an unseen emphasis for 1 a.m., causing everybody to laugh along. In between chuckles, her eyes fall on Jeongguk, who is mindlessly scrolling on his phone and seemingly not paying attention. Throughout the recounting, she notices Jeongguk distractly listening but never laughing, and if he does it’s only after something said by Dahye. Slowly, the enthusiasm gets wiped off her face as she curls up on the chair, sulkily letting her friend finish telling the story.

Another hour of effortless conversation goes by, and Jeongguk is back to lively chatting again, his animated gestures and witty jokes getting laughter out of his friends, but this time Eunbi doesn’t join. She silently sets on observing the boy, despite being caught a few times. She really wants to understand the reason behind his behaviour, but there’s no factual explanation she can come up with other than the obvious reasons that put them in this situation in the first place. If that’s the case, there’s nothing much she can do other than going up to him and finally talking it out like the mature adults they should be, but with their petty, silent bickering she doesn’t think that’s happening any soon.

While she’s busy squinting her eyes at the boy, in a borderline creepy manner, she doesn’t notice Iseul crouching in half in laughter at something Jeongguk said, until she’s directly referring to her, “Oh god, Eunbi! Why did you never tell me Jeongguk was this funny?” Said girl is startled by the question and by the abrupt interruption that shakes her out of her trance, confusion written on her face and it must be evident with the way Iseul goes on explaining, “Dahye told me you’ve known him for a long time.”

All at once, the atmosphere is tense and maybe Iseul and Aera can’t feel it, but Dahye definitely can as she snaps her head to her friend, who’s staring directly into Jeongguk’s eyes. The two seem to be battling an unnamed war through eye contact, and the intensity of the boy’s gaze ignites something implacable in the girl’s chest, dangerously close to rage, and it has to do with all the feelings she’s had to bottle up in less than 24 hours. She scoffs, referring to Iseul but never breaking the staring contest with the boy, “Oh, is he? Don’t think I’m well acquainted with that side of him yet.”

If the tension wasn’t palpable to everyone before the comment, it surely is now, the only ones that have something left to say being the crickets and owls in the background. Jeongguk only snickers before washing a hand over his face, an unsettling smirk on his lips. He seems to finally acknowledge the other girl’s presence, but it’s not in the way Eunbi initially imagined it would go. Instead, it’s venom spitting out of his mouth, “You would've been if you weren’t so self centred, always wrapped in your own bubble all the fucking time.”

Eunbi's confidence falls as quick as her heart, a sudden force weighing on it and almost crushing it. She’s fast at hiding it, ignoring the slight sting she can sense in the back of her eyelids, her only goal is to shoot harder. She forces the fakest smile she can muster, “Self centred? Are you sure you're talking about me?” The affronted girl scoffs, loud and sarcastic, “Fuck, and I thought you'd know better than that, Jeongguk. You should try getting your head out of your ass and look around. Maybe you'd see how shitty you've been treating all of us-” me “-for these past weeks.”

Jeongguk is visibly taken aback, and it’s his heart falling this time, his face following suit. His broken features do little to hide the doubts plaguing his spiralling mind. Had he pushed it too far? Had he been actually so bad to his own friends? Seeing his contender’s face relaxing with victory makes him snap out of the sudden trance, as he regains consciousness fast. No, he hasn’t. Fuck this. Blinded by anger, he utters the unimaginable, “Speak for yourself when you say shit like that. As far as I'm concerned, I've been treating you fairly seeing the bitch you are.”

His eyes are as pitch as black, the stars in them that Eunbi would love to get lost into are unreachable now, almost as if a dark cloud had obscured them. It must be the pollution that's taking over his heart too.

She’s frozen in place as the cruel words echo in her mind, the force that was keeping her heart underwater had managed to crush it, and it was now coming up her throat, squeezing the air out of her lungs. Her ears ring with the sudden lack of oxygen, and she can only faintly hear Dahye’s raging comments coming in her defence against Jeongguk. She can only seem to focus on the cracking of the fire, though, its thumping noise suddenly unbearable, as she feels more and more engulfed in its flames. She forces all sounds to come back to her, strongly pulling herself out of her own plagued head, the boy in front of her now unrecognisable to her empty eyes.

Looking around, she notices all of her friends — his, after all — had gone extremely quiet, the pressure weighing on them too. She can't stand it, needs to get out. She wishes she had never agreed to this. So much for keeping her peace. Yet, she'll never give him the satisfaction of knowing how much that hurt her. She'll die before crying in front of him.

“Well, if you don't mind, the bitch has had enough now, so with all due respect, she's going to sleep.” With a forced tight lipped smile, she gets up in one fast movement and walks to her tent, leaving the others disoriented, and a still furious Dahye scoffing at Jeongguk. He follows her with his eyes until she disappears in her shelter, clenching his jaw and announcing his departure soon after.

Inside the tent, Eunbi takes several deep breaths trying to calm down, and she feels frail when she can sense her eyes prickle with tears. She tells herself it’s angry ones. Apparently, being nice isn’t enough, and she watches as the seal to her pact shatters with force, signalling no come back. Following suit, the puzzle breaks once again, and she’s left scrambling for the pieces falling, looking for the one that will start it over again. And this time, it’s going to be even harder.

[sexyfoxlady]

Missing You📱

Father-Figure!Satoru Gojo x Mother-Figure!Reader

Summary: young!Megumi/Tsumiki wants to talk to father-figure!Satoru Gojo on the phone who is away on a mission

⚠️WARNINGS⚠️ one curse word 'shit' butt other than that nothing 🤷‍♀️ (imk in comments)

"haha...no Toru everything is fine here,you just make sure you get home all in one piece"

Tsumiki perks up after hearing you use Satoru's nickname 'Toru' she didn't know who you were talking to before that because you walked out of your room on the call but now Tsumiki knows it's her father on the other side of the phone she zoomed off her spot from the couch placing the book she was reading on the spot she was sitting, running over to you to speak to Satoru

"Excuse me Mama but I want to say hi to Papa" Tsumiki asked politely and sweetly just like the angel child she is

"Aw of course baby...Toru,Tsumiki wants to say hi...ok here you go" handing the phone to Tsumiki with a gentle head pat to her head before walking into the kitchen to make a light snack for the kiddos

"Hi Papa!"

"Heyo my little monkey how are you, you being helpful for mama, how was school, learn anything new today, miss you guys so much"

Tsumiki giggles at Satoru overload of questions before answering him

"I'm doing good and Mama doesn't let me help as much as I want, keeps saying I do a lot already but I like helping Mama...and school was okay I guess. We are reading a new book though, it's really good so far I can't wait to talk about it in class."

It takes a moment for Satoru to process all the information given to him from his daughter

"Mmmm you know your mom is right you do a lot already and your so cute monkey liking helping your mama out and why was your day just "okay I guess" that's not what I want to hear from my monkey why was it just okay? Do you want to tell your old man about it?"

"It's silly" Tsumiki responds meekly

"It's not silly if it means you can't have a good day because of it, come on tell papa what's wrong"

Tsumiki gives a small sigh before admitting why her day was 'okay I guess'

"It's just I forgot you were away on a mission and when we got our new book for class I wanted to read with you"

"Awww Tsumiki I'm sorry I'm not there I promise as soon as Im home we'll read alllll the books you want, how does that sound?"

"Thanks papa, I'm going to give mama the phone back now, love you, be safe"

"Love you too and I'll be home soon promise"

Satoru feels his heart is about to burst from how much love is waiting for him at home

"Hey Toru you still there?" (Y/N) asked with the phone in one hand while handing sliced apples and bananas to Tsumiki reminding her to share with her brother

"Yeah I'm here gorgeous, monkey was just trying to give me a heart attack with all her love, man she's such a great kid she probably gets it from me"

"HA doubtful very doubtful, what did she say anyways"

"Just that she misses me and how she wishes she was reading with me and how she loves me sooooo much more than you and Gumi"

Rolling your eyes at the obvious lie at the end

"Yeah I'm soooo sure she said all that especially the end part"

"Aw don't get jealous now you know you'll always be my first love" you can basically see Toru sly smile on his stupid gorgeous face

"Well you'll always be my second love" bitting back a laugh from Satoru to hear his freak out to being second especially second in your heart~

"WHAT WHO'S YOUR FIRST LOVE!?" Absolutely appalled that he second to anyone

"My Gumi of course,his is my precious baby boy" when you inform your boyfriend that Megmi is your first love you can hear Satoru's world come crashing down around him

"Why would you say that, just say you don't want me home it would be easier for my HEART" there goes your drama queen boyfriend doing what he does best being dramatic. Hearing your laugh through the phone did not help Satoru in being any less dramatic

"YOUR SO MEANNNN TO ME" basically crying through the phone. You're so engrossed into the conversation with your boyfriend you don't notice right away the tiny hand pulling on your pant leg to get your attention, putting a hand over the speaker to look down at your son to see what the matter is

"Everything okay Gumi did you get some slice apple and bananas from your sister" nodding yes before communicating what he needed your attention for

"Is that Gojo-sensei" looking at the phone in your hand

"Yeah it's Toru you want to say hi?" You asked your normally quiet son but when you did he got embarrassed looking anywhere but the phone and started messing with the end of his children's cartoon graphic t-shirt. Kneeling down before Megumi with your hand still on the speaker of the phone where your boyfriend is still most likely freaking out

"Hey it's ok if you miss Turo you can say hi if you want" Megumi's eyes widen as if you accuse him of something heinous he whipped his head around so fast to correct you

"I don't miss that idiot!" With his arms crossed and a foot stomp its hard to take his dislike for your boyfriend seriously, putting a hand gently on top of Megumi's head letting him know it's ok if he doesn't want to say hi but in his need to show how strong he is on his own, he forgot the purpose he asked you in the first place because he DOES want to say hi but not wanting to embarrass himself even more he almost decided to forget about it but you know your precious boy better then the back of your hand plus you saw how his eyes sadden when you said he didn't have to say hi so you did what a mother does best reverse psychology(🥸)

"Well I know you don't want to say hi to Toru but I know he wants to say hi to you, can he say hi?" Gumi not realizing he's nod to your question was a very excited nod not backing up his last statement in not wanting to talk to his sensei -dad, putting the phone back up to your ear to let him know another one of his children want to talk to him well "not" talk to him

"Hey handsome I have Gumi here like you wanted, to say hi" Satoru not needing any more information than that because this is not the first time Megmi "didn't" want to say hi,before handing the phone to Megmi you tell Satoru 'love you'

"Hey hey Gumi what's up" Satoru cheerfully came through from the other side of the line but nothing came after his greeting but silence

"Megumi? You okay bud?" The concern in his voice showing just a little bit

"Yes...um I" Megumi obviously not feeling quite yet comfortable with whatever he wants to say

"Hey it's okay monkey take your time you can talk to me about anything alright" hoping that Satoru using his nickname that he uses for his sister and himself will give Gumi the boost he needs to say whatever he needs. It takes him about 30 seconds to respond to Toru

"Miss you and be safe" if Satoru wasn't paying attention he would have missed what Gumi had said but he is always vigilant when it comes to his children but Satoru didn't have time to say 'miss you' back before the phone is handed back to you is a hurry

"Toru?" Came your sweet angelic voice not expecting for the call to still be going

"MY HEART!" He practically blows your earphones out with his love

"SHIT Toru my ears" you should have known better than to put the phone up to your ear after he's done talking to his children

"MY BABIES MY BABIES MONKEYS ARE SO CUTE" rolling your eyes playfully because not only are Megumi and Tsumiki too old to hold on him like monkeys anymore but this was not the first and it won't be the last time this call happens it happens every time Satoru has a long mission or sometimes even the short missions

"I promise I'll be home soon I love you. Don't miss me too much like the kids" chuckling a soft 'i love you too' at the end of the call.

.......……….……………...........……………

THATS IT!!!🫰😜

ART/GIFS AREN'T MINE 🩷

Hope you enjoy cool if not don't care or read more if there is more 🙃

[lfghughes]

Maybe one where reader tells Jack she want to start trying for a baby. At first he’s a little hesitant but reader is like you will be able to teach them hockey and he gets so excited and he wants a little girl. Then their kissing for a little bit and Luke walks in and is like seriously on the couch, and Jack makes some smirky comment about wanting to have a baby with you asap.

a/n: im loving all these dad jack and dad nico requests i've been getting. hit me right in the feels

For the past few months you had been peppering in the idea of having a baby to Jack and every single time he gave you a hesitant answer. But every time you asked you saw him crack a little more at the idea of being a father. Both of you were laying on the couch, watching a movie when you sat up a little. “I just think we’re both ready Jack. I look at the way you are with everyone else’s kid and I know you’re going to be the best father to our future son.” You started explaining, fully moving so you could sit up and talk about this with him. “Imagine you teaching him how to play and skate.”

“Teaching our daughter how to skate.” He told you and there was a pause in the air between you two. “Our daughter?” You asked and he nodded his head. “I’m going to be a girl dad for sure, I’m going to have to learn how to braid hair and do buns but I’m sure I can do it.” This was the first time he had really talked about this with you, other times he had kind of shrugged off the conversation.

“I’ve been thinking about everything you’ve said lately and I think we’re in a really good place to start trying at least. I think I was just more so worried that I’d fail at it but being a parent isn’t exactly something you study for.” This was definitely him agreeing with you. “Plus, I think my mom would also really like to have a granddaughter after raising us three boys.”

A smile spread on your lips as he explained everything. “So we’ll start trying? Really?” You asked and he pulled you into your lap. “We’ll start trying and well there’s no better time than now.” He pointed out a small smirk on his lips as he pulled you in for a kiss. Your lips started to move against his as his hands started to wander underneath your shirt, seconds away from pulling it off before the front door opened.

“You have got to be kidding me. You guys are disgusting. On our couch guys? You have a whole bedroom. Now I have to disinfect it. Ew” Luke said, his face red with embarrassment from nearly catching you two in the act. Jack rolled his eyes, a laugh leaving his lips as he waved his brother off. “We’re just trying to make you an uncle Luke, maybe next time knock before you walk in.”

“This is my place too!” Luke took a pause as he replayed the words his brother said in his head. “Wait a minute, what?? Are you guys being for real? I’m going to be an uncle??” Now he was excited. “Yeah, we decided maybe it’s time to add another Hughes to the family.” A smile grew on Luke’s face at the words, he was part of this whole also wanting you two to have a baby already so you knew he would have been excited to hear the news. “I’m definitely going to teach that baby to skate as soon as possible."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for talking about fnaf to my little cousin?

so fnaf is one of my (im 21) special interests for a while. my little cousin (age 7) has been mentioning it lately, because he heard about it from kids at school. Because of this i've ended up telling him about a lot of the lore and stuff, and trying to explain things to him. Additionally, he asks me questions about fnaf, and I do my best to explain it to him. I also sometimes watch fnaf videos with him.

My mom says i shouldn't do this because he gets scared easily by stuff, and his mom doesn't really like him to see scary stuff. My mom says I shouldnt tell him about fnaf or show him stuff from fnaf.

Both my mom and his mom will go out of their way to hide scary things from him like halloween monster pictures. Part of this is because he got kind of scared of opening doors due to the Doors game on roblox. He is too scared to sleep in his room alone and always sleeps in his mom's bed because he is scared of the dark and has nightmares sometimes. And he wasn't allowed to watch any youtube on halloween because of possibly seeing scary stuff. They think that the scary stuff is what made him scared of the dark and have nightmares, and not be able to sleep in his room alone.

In my opinion, I don't *think* im doing anything wrong, because when I was a kid, fnaf came out, and plenty of kids were into it, and have been ever since. And ever since fnaf, theres been many things inspired by it that kids like. Like poppy playtime and Rainbow Friends and all that. I also loved horror and creepy stuff as a kid. I liked creepypasta, but I can relate to being scared by some of that stuff. As a kid I was really really terrified by the rake creepypasta.

Also in my opinion I think he knows and understands his own limits, because one time we were watching a fnaf video, and he seemed to think the video was too scary and wanted to stop watching it. So we stopped watching it and did something else. And he seemed fine after we stopped didnt seem scared or upset after that. I also feel like in my opinion, explaining the lore to him makes it *less* scary, because he's understanding the "how and why". however because the fnaf lore does involve child death i see how it could be bad for him to learn about it.

He seems to enjoy it though, I'm not forcing it on him and he loves to ask me questions about it, and is excited whenever he comes over to talk about it. Also we've played things together before that are "scary" like baldis basics, and then also a minecraft backrooms game which actually ended up scaring me more than him!

Basically though Am i the asshole for basically going against what my mom and his mom think he should be doing? I can see how his mom especially might think i could be crossing a line because of what she wants for her child. Obviously his mom might know him better because he is her child after all. And because of my autism I don't really understand childcare and childraising. And it is hard for me to understand their perspective. I am still very childlike and dependent on my parents so I don't have a fully formed adult perspective yet I dont think.

But at the same time I almost feel that she is being sheltering, because I've noticed its common for kids to like this sort of thing, and its not always necessarily a bad thing. Because also theres scary movies like coraline but are geared for kids. (My little cousin didnt like coraline, thought it was scary, but thats just an example.)

I feel like also they should trust him more. He seems to know what is too much. Because he is vocal to say what is too scary for him. He seems to be able to set boundaries about it, because he will say that he doesnt want to play a minecraft game that is too scary, or watch a video that is too scary. I'm also rarely the one to pick the games or videos we play, it's his own interest.

Fnaf has been something we both really enjoy, and to me that is special when we get to enjoy something together. I of course still often play with him when its something only he is interested in, but not always. The times I don't play with him are when I'm doing something relating to one of my other special interests and I can't handle being interrupted. Which makes him sad that I can't play but he does understand that because of my autism that it would be difficult on me to stop my activity. I really like that he is into fnaf now because that means its something that I can enjoy for special interest reasons and he gets to hang out and play with me.

But AITA because this is against his mom's wishes?

What are these acronyms?

[dreamwritersworld]

On my own…Part 3 (Sully family x reader)

🚨I’m so sorry this took a long time to post and I know it’s short 🥲 I’ve been struggling to find where Y/n’s story will lead so…please! Send in requests for the ending or comment and I’ll just decide from there 😊💓

If you told younger me that older me wouldn’t think highly of my parents…she wouldn’t believe you. Truth was I was holding onto something that was never real.

*8 year old Y/n*

I sat down in the lab room picking at scars and rubbing on my bruises while my siblings played with Spider, which I couldn’t do because I was instructed to stay close by. Norm taught me holidays that were back on earth…they were very beautiful! He gave me pieces of paper to draw what would be done in something called a…classroom? It was for a holiday called father and mother day!

Norm turned to another scientist showing him my work!

“Look at this sweet paper Y/n filled out!

My mom is special because…she’s a loving mom and I love her because she is beautiful!

My dad is the best because….he teaches me how to do things and keeps me good!

My parents are as good as a…flower and heart!”

Both scientist smiled down at the paper before norm moved onto more of Y/n’s work.

“And then she signed it off with her name!…she made these little coupons.

This coupon is good for…time for me and you!”

The other scientist was quick to make a statement about her card.

“Extremely unique for her to come up with that when she doesn’t even know you know the regular statements from back on earth.”

“Definitely! Another one says..

This coupon is good for…I will be good.”

Both of them strangely looked back and forth from the paper and at the sweet girl who minded her business playing with her own bruised skin…how did that end up there?

“She’s always good? I don’t know there’s always something about being good on her work when she comes to visit…like she’s always trying to prove that she’s good?”

The other scientists nodded off to what Norm was saying and decided to calmly approach the young child

“Hello sweetie! How did you get those marks?…were you playing ? Going on an adventure and chasing a wild beast?”

The young girl laughed at the scientists statement before putting her head back down and saying that it was just a fall from playing….it was a bruise Jake had given her when he slightly made her fall to the floor and she hit a rock..*

Oh Eywa…how did I have the strength to love them despite it all. I hope to one day find it in my heart to learn to love again…this isn’t easy anymore. I was so close to death and he sent me away right to it.

When we arrived back home I knew it would be the end of me. I could see it, the shocked look on my parents faces. It was so late my siblings had fallen into slumber, while they had heavy bags on there eyes.

All dad did was shake his head placing his fingers on his temple before telling Neteyam to go back inside..and he did. I had no one to protect me, quite frankly Im beginning to feel like it was all my fault but I had no choice.

“You have been chosen by Eywa my-“

My mother reached for me but I stepped back quickly, still feelings a pinging burning sensation.

“Do not touch me. You-“

I was cut off with a very enraged voice…my fathers.

“Despite what you think you’ve accomplished, you’ve brought shame to this family. Do you have any idea how frustrated and upset everyone is at you?! You are a complete waste Y/n. You seriously believe that THIS will fix you?”

When he reached over to yank me he was instantly burnt…my skin felt so warm. My own body was finally able to protect itself. It didn’t help that his touch also stung me so I hissed at him, stepping back slowly.

Neytiri gasped at Y/n’a hiss and Jake’s burnt hand…she now saw what Jake meant…maybe he really was right. Y/n could hurt the family, regardless of her being their daughter…Neytiri now believes that the daughter that she has was reminiscing and crying for isn’t there anymore. She’s a monster.

“Y/n! You better calm yourself right now. Go inside now.”

I looked at my Father once more, emotionless, frustrated and tired.

“You know what? I will go-“

My own body turned willingly calling for Toruk. They realized what I was doing..

“I meant go inside now. That’s an order Y/n! You’re my daughter and you must listen to me now!”

I could no longer hold in the laughter…how could he keep on pushing it…I mean seriously who’d he think was gonna listen?

“You sent me away to die. Now your ordering me around, going as far to call me daughter? You’re hilarious. How do you believe that you deserve my respect when you’ve done nothing to earn it? If you won’t care neither will I.”

“And what? You think you will earn my respect when all you’ve done was ruin things-“

“What is wrong with you?! I have always tried to live up to your expectations despite it all and you still can’t get out of your own way. They don’t even know what you have done to me all that’s years. What do you think they’ll do when they find out? I’ve kept your bad sides hidden for long enough. You’re pathetic! I feel sorry for you.”

I turn away once again walking towards Toruk…

“Don’t turn your back on me!”

“I should’ve turn my back on you ages ago!”

Toruk throws a flame of fire backing away to not hit anyone or anything, just sending a warning to Jake and Neytiri.

“…you left him as well. Never forget that. You are not loyal and don’t deserve to have as beautiful of a family as you do now. You don’t deserve any of it.”

As Y/n left in the blue night sky, fire erupted from Toruk and you can see the fire along the lines of his wings…he was given her gift instead, he portrayed her emotions perfectly for them.

Anger.

Betrayal.

Sadness.

Y/n knew she’d come back but on her own terms…

!💓!

please send requests for the ending I’m struggling!! 😭

Tag list: @noodlesfics @eywas-heir @itshype @zatarias-pandora @yeosxxx @arminsgfloll @tsireyak @neteyamforlife @aimsro @elegantkidfansoul @goodiesinthecloset21 @nikotokitaswife @bucky1235 @detectivesparrow @kikosaurscave @ssc7514 @destinylb @simp-erformarvelwomen @eirianna @ambria @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @lv9su @luciddasher @dakotali @httpjiikook @tainted-artist4161 @fanboyluvr @bat1212 @mxn14 @innersuitcasehairdoscissors @ducks118 @midnightliacr @osakis-gf @onetwo123three @briannalarae @thirsty4nonlivingmen @historygeekqueen @abbersreads @eskamybeloved @hoodiepandaninja16 @valovesyou @silentlyswimming @r3dc4ndy @onlytays

[koririmao]

k so i was thinking about best friend!hao x u doing anatomy homework. imagine hin asking you for some random body part and if you got it right he WOULD KISS THAT PART hwheh

-💌

tiger stripes | zhang hao

pairing| bff!hao x chubbyfem!reader

cw| fluff!, slightly suggestive?, kissing body parts, mentions of abuse, common fem insecurities (you're beautiful and worthy, don't let anyone tell you any different ilysm <3)

wc| 1.1K words

prolouge| ever since the zhang family moved next door, little you and little hao have always been the best of friends, doing anything and everything together being only children and neighbors. your favorite game was pretend doctor where you would take turns being the patient. this ignited a spark, encouraging the both of you to take medical courses in the future. similar as you are, both of you grew up differently as he was raised in a loving an encouraging household, while you were being beaten up by your step father every day until you turned 16 when your mom finally caught him in the act and forced him to move out.

playlist| all of me by john legend "love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections"

ask from 💌 anon| "k so i was thinking about best friend! hao x u doing anatomy homework. imagine hin asking you for some random body part and if you got it right he WOULD KISS THAT PART hwheh"

a/n: the way this ask was so convenient because im a nursing major and were about to learn muscle anatomy next month? ilysm 💌 anon <3

one warm summer evening, as the sun dipped behind the horizon, painting the sky with hues of orange and pink, you and hao found yourselves alone sitting on the floor of your bedroom. it was finals week and you decided to procrastinate the whole two months now you're stressing over how you're gonna do in the exam. you knew how careless you were and you knew you should've had that mindset months ago to scare yourself but we can't turn back time now can we? in complete utter desperation with no other choice, you decided to phone a friend and he arrived at your doorstep in a jiffy — literally, he was just next door.

fifteen minutes after you sent your text, the doorbell rang making you rush down the stairs but your mom got to it first. she opened the door to hao, grinning from ear to ear while holding out a container. even in a casual shirt and baggy pants, he still looked very presentable. "good afternoon, mrs ln! my mother baked these cupcakes earlier, they're still warm!" he handed it to her using both hands. "oh why thank you, hao. come, come in, ill get you something to drink" your mom gestured for him to come in as she made her way to the kitchen. upon entering, he noticed you from the flight of stairs and smiled wider.

and that's how you ended up gossiping and laughing on the floor while eating the cupcakes and drinking milk. you caught a glimpse of your beside clock while trying to catch your breath. "holy fuck it's 8:57 already?!" your eyes widened while wiping away the crumbs and icing from your lips. "guess we spilt too much tea" hao chuckled. you took out the cue cards you had prepared and gave it to him. "okay, no more mucking around. let's get some work done!" you dust the crumbs from your hands together before sitting down in a more comfortable position.

twenty minutes have passed and you made zero progress so far. hao even tried repeating the same question after every other one but you still couldn't get it through your thick skull. "it's hopeless, im never gonna be a nurse. guess you'll have to find someone else to be your assistant" you bent your knees up to your chest as you buried your face in them. "hey, hey, don't say that" hao scooted closer and hugged you while rubbing your back soothingly. "i wouldn't dream of having anyone else helping out dr. zhang, hm?" he lifted your cheeks to make you face him, smiling in reassurance.

"i'll tell you what, for every muscle you get right, i'll kiss you right there" he brushed a strand of hair from your face behind your ear. you felt your face heat up as his words echoed through your ears. "w-what?" he snickered. "well, maybe you're having trouble learning about the body because you're not giving enough love to this one. so, i will be doing it instead" he took her hand and kissed it. at that moment, you came to the realization that you started to see hao differently over the years since puberty so this was all coming to a surprise — but you liked it.

renered speechless, you gave a small nod as a response as he scooted backwards and took out the questionnaires once again. "let's start with an easy one, where are the biceps located?" you flexed your arm and pointed at it with a smug face, making both of you laugh right after. "that's right, good job yn" hao leaned forward and gently pulled your arm towards him before kissing your bicep, fulfilling his promise from earlier. you pouted and puffed your cheeks as you tried reverting the blood rushing to your face. "cutie" hao cooed at you and pinched your cheek before sitting back up.

"next, can you tell me where's the tendinous inscription?" you thought for a few seconds before finally pointing at it, poking your belly in the process. "good job, princess" hao liked giving you those nicknames since neither of you were dating anyone, no one was going to be jealous about it. he lifted your tank top ever so slightly and planted a soft kiss just above the belly button. "that tickles" you giggled in response. you should have kept that to yourself, tho. after saying that, hao kept on kissing, even moving around, painting your belly with his lips. "hao, stop!" you whined in between your laughter while trying to push his head away. hao finally declared defeat and stood back up, drinking some milk to rehydrate his palette.

"now, where were we?" he hummed as he was looking for a harder question. "ah, yes, the sternohyoid!" he gave a cheeky grin. you shifted your gaze to the side, trying your hardest to remember what it could be. giving up, you took the chances and pointed on your forehead. "hmm, are you sure?" hao asked in a teasing manner however he has been using thag to play mind games on you and thought you weren't gonna fall to his tricks again. "positive" you smirked to yourself, almost tasting the sweet victory. "aww, you're wrong, sorry" hao pouted while crossing his arms to form an x for incorrect. "oh, dang! i actually forgot that one, where is it again?" you innocently asked.

hao smirked and took this opportunity to lean towards you and kiss your neck. "here" he looked back at you, smiling feeling proud of himself as you froze in your position. "hey, you said you would only kiss me if i got the answers right" you smacked his arm playfully. "yeah but, i was really hoping you would get that one" he bit his bottom lip and winked at you. you rolled your eyes as he only snickered in response. he shuffled all the cards and pulled a random one from the deck.

"ooh, the gracilis!" hao widened his eyes while reading the question. "ah, i know this one because my step father used to always complain about it - its somewhere here" you encircled your inner thigh. "thats correct!" hao clapped and cheered making you also clap in response. hao carefully spread your legs apart and started lifting up one of the leg openings before you grabbed his fist, stopping him. "hm? what's wrong?" hao looked up at you in between your thighs. "y-you'll see my stretch marks..." you looked away while hiding half of your face with your hand. "so? if tigers can proudly flaunt their stripes in the wild then so can you" he continued exposing your thigh before kissing it. "that's where the gracilis is" you bit your lip as your face flushed pink, looking at where he just kissed you. not only that, that comparison made you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. maybe hao is right, this body isn't so bad after all. you're just a fluffy cat in this world full of strays — with tiger stripes.

[noeou]

hello:) this is based off of aces halloween card because he has a line something like saying he has his makeup down and wants to try on us sometime. could you possibly do the first years x reader headcanons of them doing the readers makeup !! i love your crush ones

HIDDEN TALENT.

letting them do your makeup, willingly... or not.

includes: ace trappola, deuce spade, epel felmier, and sebek zigvolt. ( x gn!reader )

next parts: currently unavailable.

contains: fluff! romantic.

sincerely noe ,⠀thank you for your kind words, nonnie! im glad you enjoyed them and will enjoy these just as much :) there is no jack or silver because i can't see them being interested in makeup to that extent, i'm sorry.

ACE TRAPPOLA

although it may not look like it, ace is a lot better at makeup than you'd think. he's very quick about it as well. 

when you asked him to do your makeup for no particular reason, he was actually excited. spent the whole night looking at different styles that would suit you and practice on himself. yes, he did fall asleep with makeup on his face, doesn't matter.

you first got brunch at sam's, it was (in a way) awkward with ace just staring at your face but what did you expect?

"wow, you brought a lot more than i'd expect."

you stared at your once empty vanity filled with the supplies he brought. you didn't know whether to be flattered at his effort or offended at the fact he thought he'd need this much.

"only the best for the prefect," he mumbled, mind clearly elsewhere.

he worked in silence. it was kind of funny, how close he was to your face yet not once making eye contact with you. the concentration is truly on another level.

it didn't take too long before he stepped away, somewhat proud of his first attempt on your face. 

"that was a lot harder than i thought it'd be." ace sighed, glad to finally rest his arm.

you glared at him for that statement, despite knowing what he truly meant. as much as you wanted to bring up how rude the statement could be interpreted, you noticed something was off. ace was much, much paler than usual, other than his eyes that were darkened.

standing to get a better look at his face, you finally were able to look in the mirror (he wanted you to be surprised so he had you turned away.)

no, you were not met with a monstrosity. three hearts of different sizes were made around your left eye, resembling the single one on ace's. you never would have expected such a thing from the ace trappola, infamous prankster.

a gentle snore interrupted your thoughts; a grin tugging at the corner of your lips, you worked to move him to a more comfortable spot to get some rest.

DEUCE SPADE

he learned a lot of what he knows from his mother. to start, he'd catch his mom watching makeup tutorials as background noise while she'd do anything. that's how he was introduced to the art. 

when you asked him to do your makeup, the one he wanted to do immediately came to mind. it was one he was still working on perfecting, it was inspired by one of the characters in a drama his mother frequented; his favorite one (don't tell anyone.)

before getting to work, he watched the first episode with you to show you who the look was inspired by. he kept it on as he worked, not getting distracted for a moment.

"can you look up for me?" deuce requested, gently pulling your chin upward.

"she's actually pretty cool," you hummed, eyes still glued to the screen. "i can see why you chose her as inspiration."

he tapped your nose with the end of the brush in his hands, scoffing at your comment. "i chose her because she's my favorite in the show."

"just like i'm your favorite in this wonderland?"

"you are aware that i can mess your makeup up at any given moment, right?" deuce said, glaring.

"okayokay–" you grinned, "i'll stop."

which you did, until you didn't.

funny enough he finished when the show did. and the show wasn't short. nonetheless, you took so many pictures with and without him. going as far as to fix your hair like hers, just to tease him further. 

"i'm never doing this again." he groaned, falling into a pillow to hide his flushed face. it was his best attempt at tuning out your professions of love in anaccent similar to the character's.

EPEL FELMIER

he needed a face to practice makeup on that wasn't plastic in order to complete vil's assignment, leading us to where we are now. 

while he may not be a makeup pro, he could be mistaken for one given how much attention to detail there is in his work. the precision is unmatched among his peers, apple carving was to thank for that. 

he went for a more minimalistic look, if only it didn't sting as much as it did. 

the melody of piano being played in another room made sitting through this easier than it was, humming along to that epel put you through an hour's worth of skincare (not including the time you spent on it the night prior to) before getting to the makeup part. 

an unexplainable joy filled you when there was only lip gloss left on the table, you watched as epel began tidying up his other belongings before finishing the last part.

he quickly dragged his thumb across your lower lip, to check that the chapstick had already been absorbed. the warmth in your face was at first our of shyness at the unexpected gesture, which quickly turned to irritation when your lips began to sting.

"my lips burn, again!" you poked the skin around it, wanting to wipe off the plumper but at the same time not wanting to mess up the hours of progress. 

"don't talk, ya might get some in your mouth." epel said, looking up at you for a brief moment. "i need to take pictures, don't mess it up."

"wasn't planning on it…" after a few more minutes of silence, an idea struck you, "as long as you kiss it better."

taking advantage of the confusion in his face, you quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek. at least you won't be suffering alone.

SEBEK ZIGVOLT

out of the other, he is definitely the most shy about being able to do makeup. he doesn't keep his knowledge secret, but he doesn't go out of his way to tell people about it either. 

he knows a lot about more traditional styles, finding the modern ones very… silly, if you will. 

given his more tradition preferences, sebek is definitely one to never use products found in stores. he makes his own. and yes, he does use them very often.

over a break, lilia convinced him to take you with them to briar valley. they planned a ball for a reason you can't recall, but it's allowed you to learn more about this side of sebek.

it took him a while to stop being flustered with the amount of skincare and make supplies he's mad. when he did, he most certainly geeked out about it. it was more of like what styles you do when, and techniques. 

"ooh, we match!" you grinned excitedly, looking at your face in the mirror.

you noticed a light shade of pink dust his ears at you observation.

"it's tradition that knights match with their lover at gatherings like these."

“what? really?” you gaped, you’ve truly come a long way.

it was almost like yesterday he was embarrassed to know you exist and now he’s willing to show your relationship to those he’s grown up with.

you pressed a kiss to his cheek before (debatably) skipping off to change.

[asbestos-boy-68]

post your phonepad headcanons be free

you don’t even KNOW what kind of beast you’ve unleashed. btw this is my second time writing this post because the first time i did um tumblr did an error when i tried to post it and i lost the whole thing 🤗 anything for phonepad

mephone is a ben folds fan who plays guitar. mepad is a they might be giants fan who plays piano. they would learn songs from each others fav artist for each other. also they’d jam together TRUST

fan and toilet are their biggest shippers. I CANT BE NUMBER 1 PHONEPAD SHIPPER BECAUSE THEY ARE💔💔

they’re so endgame. THEYRE SO MARRIED. they’d be the SWEETEST married couple everyone would think they were #couplegoals

toilet would be the best man at their wedding

also mephone would make their wedding song the luckiest by ben folds (typical millennial ben folds fan…)

mephone would NOT stfu abt the fact that he married mepad. he’d call him his husband ALL THE TIME even to people that full well knew mepad. like the contestants. he’d be like “so my HUSBAND said-“ and they’d all be like “WE KNOW WHO MEPAD IS BRO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!”

whenever mephone would get upset mepad would cook any meal he wanted for him and then they’d cuddle and watch reality shows together to make him feel better

mepad cares for mephone like he’s getting paid. esp when he’s sick.

mephone would rant about mepad to floory during iii. floory would call him gay

similarly mepad would rant about mephone to taco after leaving the show, mostly about how much he missed him. taco would tell him to stfu and that mephone was a bitch

when mephone said that he didn’t trust him that hurt mepad like NOTHING else.

regarding mepad’s whole “emotionless” thing i think of it in a sort of yansim type way (WITHOUT THE WEIRDO YANDERE STUFF 💔) like… he doesn’t have feelings but around mephone he does. at least that’s how it’d be at first, but after a while he’d develop a full range of emotions that functioned whether or not he was with mephone. but at first it’d only be around him

mepad always keeps snacks on him for mephone. he knows all of his favorite snacks

mepad is the only person who can calm mephone down when he starts spiraling about cobs

when they’d get together mephone would try and hide their relationship because he’d be worried about cobs knowing and “what will the viewers think about this ?!” but he’d be so ass at it. everyone and their mom would know they were together

no one was surprised when they got together / told ppl they were together. literally NO ONE.

omg my bf said this but like… ok II16 SPOILER WARNING ‼️ anyways yk how some ppl have theorized that all of the contestants are different aspects of mephone’s personality?

mepad loves all of the contestants. HE LOVES EVERY PART OF MEPHONE IM GONNA THROW UP

after mepad left the show mephone would curse himself every day for not telling mepad he loved him sooner

the reason mephone saved mepad was half just because he didn’t want someone else to go through cobs’ abuse and half because he just felt…drawn to mepad. even before he’d started up for the first time mephone felt like the universe was pulling him towards mepad, like they were meant to be SOMETHING.

mepad would be so upset by the fact that mephone acted like he didn’t care when he left the show. he’d be going thru the 5 stages of grief, “did we mean nothing???” type shit

mephone would be so proud that he pulled mepad. he’d think mepad was so out of his league

humanized their height difference is 8 inches mepad is 6’4 mephone is 5’8

as parents mepad would be such a good dad and mephone would… not. but not in like an abusive cobs way in the way that he means the absolute best but he just has no idea what he’s doing. i have a ship kid for them it’s a 3rd gen ipod nano. mepod nano gen3 i love you

their song is “i only wanna be with you” by dusty springfield. that is the song they dance to together in the kitchen at 11:30pm

mephone is so genuinely and truly in love with mepad. he admires every little thing about him and thinks about him all the time.

he cried himself to sleep every night after mepad left and had to use all of his energy every day to not break down about it

mephone acts like a kid when he’s with mepad. he is fully himself, he lets his guard down and doesn’t worry about what he does and how it’ll look, because he knows mepad will love him either way

mepad makes sure that mephone wears nice outfits on camera. trust that during s1 his fits were NOT tippy top . there is a STARK contrast of pre- and post-mepad fits.

mepad doesn’t technically need to eat but whenever mephone bakes (he likes baking, he’s just straight ass at it) he will eat it and say that it’s good even if it’s not

mepad also learned how to cook for mephone

everything mephone does in front of mepad is an attempt to impress him. he wants mephone to think he’s as cool as he thinks he is.

mephone looks up to mepad SO much, he’s so many things he wishes he was and that he admires. maybe he can’t become those things but HE CAN DATE HIM SO CLOSE ENOUGH 😋🙂‍↕️🙏

mepad loves mephone so much i can’t UGEGHSEJWGEKAHD

this isn’t even the half of it bro i’m sure there’s some i forgot since i had to rewrite this + i have a lot more i didn’t write down

AND I DIDNT EVEN GET INTO MY PHONEPAD AU. I COULD MAKE A WHOOOOLE NOTHER POST ON THAT.

enjoy tho 😋 if i think of any more ill reblog w them. also anon if you wanna hear me yap about my phonepad au feel free to ask because i will GLADLY yap 😁

[peri]

Peridot and Unlearning (Internalized & Externalized) Homophobia

i.e., here's why peridot's redemption arc is partially (a metaphor?) about unlearning homophobia

the title sounds crazy but bear with me here.

let's start off with saying NO, fusion does not = romantic love. that's an age old discourse and it can be so easily solved by stating there are many different forms of love, and sometimes fusion is just for power (which is a form of love in-of itself, albeit fucked; the love for power or toxic love) HOWEVER, in many cases, such as Garnet's, it most certainly is about romantic love. so to keep it as brief as possible, thats what we have in mind in this post. it's gay love okay.

now, let's talk about the scene i just captioned. this is from the episode "too far," which is an episode about developing a crush and accidentally hurting them in the process of trying to impress them. (however you want to look at it, but thats how i interpret it) the fact it starts off with casual homophobia is important, coz it shows peridot still has a lot of prejudices despite recently becoming part of the team, which is full of gay people, undeniably.

peridot's redemption arc is partially about coming to terms with your sexuality, retraining your mind from internalized homophobia after being raised in such a homophobic society/household, and becoming proud of your sexuality / identity.

OBSERVE:

"you dont understand! im protecting a planet i was once trying to destroy! i used to follow every order - every rule!"

"now im a traitor! a rebel!"

"A CRYSTAL QUEEEEEER"

sorry i had that joke stored for this analysis since 2019. anyways

i'm going to try to keep this short, but more under the cut.

IM SO BAD at organizing my words so this post is rly hard to make so im gonna do it like this.

MORE EVIDENCE THAT PERIDOT'S REDEMPTION ARC IS COMING TO TERMS WITH BEING GAY / UNLEARNING HOMOPHOBIA:

being frustrated about joining a lesbian/gay gang

coming from a society where homosexuality is forbidden

telling off your mom by saying youre joining some rebel lesbians/gays to fight her oppressive society

wearing pride flags (stars) everywhere after coming out

looking up to experienced lesbians (Garnet)

the scissoring joke (from "too far." if you know you know)

furthermore, i thought it'd be fair to include peridot learning how to respect how people identify in other ways, such as names / how they prefer to be addressed. this, most of the time, goes hand-in-hand with homophobia.

peridot, narrating: "he also said he wanted me to stop calling him "the" steven." steven: "its just, steven!" peridot: "i told him i'd call him whatever i want!" [hiss] peridot: "he told me that was rude."

(from the episode "log date 7 15 2")

peridot learns how to respect how people identify. lgbt win

i should add she also eventually learns how to respect Garnet's whole deal in the same episode (log date 7 15 2) which was also a huge moment in her unlearning homophobia. which, btw if you dont know or dont remember, Garnet does by comparing herself to peridot's (assuming) gay ship between Percy and Pierre from Camp Pining Hearts, saying she was the optimized version of herself (the reason peridot "ships" them; theyre the best team logically according to her analysis ship chart)

anyways, now the biggest most obvious point is the fact that peridot actually is gay. i've referred to this episode a few times now, but thats becoz it really is a huge point in proving my 'thesis';

in the episode "too far," peridot is shown to get obsessed with impressing amethyst. peridot experiences something they havent yet up until this point: a crush. i mean, you can interpret it as you wish, but thats how i saw it. the butterflies, the obsession with making someone laugh, the fact peridot states amethyst is objectively the best gem of the crystal gems and emphasizes "damaging her standing with the best gem here" with their apology to amethyst after hurting her feelings.

and um, this.

🌈yeag

sorry im losing any professionalism i started this post with. also this is focusing on early-season / redemption arc peridot which is why its kind of short and is missing stuff from later seasons. i hope this was at least somewhat concise and easy to understand, and i hope yall see my point of view here! feel free to add on (theres SO MUCH its easy for it to skip my mind) if you have any other points youd like to make to support my cause and uprising. love you

[wrongcaitlyn]

I HAVE RAMBLINGS ABOUT TYT

Nico and Apollo def have geek out sessions over greek mythology like they are NERDS and Apollo def grew up having snippets of the Iliad and Odyssey read to him so the moment Nico showed even the slightest of interest in Greek mythology as a kid, best believe Apollo used that to warm up to him 😭🙏

ALSO I can just picture little Apollo curled up next to Leto as she read him all these different poems (I'd like to think she read to him in Greek and while Apollo wasn't completely fluent in Greek, he def understood it very well but then he lost it 😞)

Also, Leto definitely called Apollo sunshine, and that's why he calls his own kids that. Every time Apollo would ask why he was named Apollo, Leto would scoop him up and say it was bc he was the light of her life, and Apollo is the god of light, so ofc she named her pride and joy after the god of light

Anyways whatever u do don't think about sixteen year old Apollo drunk (and probably high) out of his mind, curled up in a hotel room that he hardly spent any time in wishing he could've spent more time with his mother before his father whisked him away and into the spotlight :(

UGH AND DON'T THINK ABOUT APOLLO READING THE ILIAD TO HIMSELF WHENEVER HE MISSES LETO

clearly I have very strong feelings towards the relationship Apollo has with his mother and the fact that he should've had more time with her but bc he was in the spotlight all the time as a kid he didn't get to :(

Wait, oh my god, did Apollo go to his own mother's funeral?? Bc like Will was in middle school when she died, right?? So would have he trusted Will enough to be alone in the house for a few days, or did he just not go?? And how many times did Apollo look at his sixteen year old son and realize that the neglect Zeus put him through (ignoring Apollo's very clear addiction in favor of making him famous ofc) was definitely abuse. HOW MANY TIMES DID APOLLO HAVE TO REALIZE THAT HE GREW UP TOO FAST EVERY TIME HE LOOKED AT WILL??? 😭😭😭

ALSO ALSO IDK IF IT WAS INTENTIONAL BUT HAVING APOLLO, THE PROTECTOR OF YOUNG BOYS, BE THE ONE TO RESCUE NICO FROM AN ABUSIVE SITUATION AND GAVE HIM THE RESOURCES HE NEEDED TO HEAL???? AMAZING

I think Kayla def tried to teach everyone that Will was friends with archery. Just bc archery is severely underrated 😞

(Only Piper managed to actually hit the target, and Jason somehow sliced his hand open??? He has a very faint scar now, and if someone asks about it while he's with Leo, then Leo will come up with the most ridiculous stories instead of telling them the truth 😭)

Also, I think you've mentioned it before, but did either Darren or Kayla try to teach him archery? Idk but the mental image is very funny and it probably took him a plethora of tries to hit the target and Kayla was probably so proud

ANYWAYS IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG IM DOING THIS INSTEAD OF WRITING MY CREATIVE WRITING ASSIGNMENT (I love that class but also UGHHHHH)

HAVE A GOOD DAY 🫶

FIRST OF ALL THIS JUST MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO SEE LIKE AHHSDFHLSDFJ OMG TYT RAMBLES

the whole part about apollo and leto... YES YES YESLKJDSFASDF AHHH apollo was 100% raised on greek mythology and he does have various copies of the iliad and the odyssey and other myths, an old worn-down version from his mom which had been passed down to him in her will, and a bunch of fancy pretty ones bc if he ever sees a pretty copy of the iliad or the odyssey he WILL buy it.

i think that he did go through a phase where like,,, he was just completely uninterested in that sort of stuff, considered it childhood and whatever. but i think that eventually, esp when taking in will, he went through what i'll call the "dumb and poetic try-hard intellectual" phase where he actually did read through the whole thing, read through various translations, annotated some copies, attempted to learn greek (modern greek, not ancient greek lmao), and just in general getting in touch with his heritage bc he realizes, watching will who's so small and resembles him so much, that those memories of him and his mom were actually some of his happiest moments of childhood, not annoying ones. and so he does try to replicate that, despite having not left his family on the best of terms *cough* really bad onesSLKJDF

and as someone who had a parent speak to them in their language, knew how to understand that language, but refused to learn it themselves bc it was boring, there's gonna be such an intense regret there from apollo, thinking that he should've taken the opportunity to learn when he could. he definitely would still understand bits and pieces, maybe a few quotes that were his or his mom's favorites, but it's just a lot harder to learn a language once you've grown up ://

as for the funeral, he did not go, because he still wasn't on speaking terms with his father, and well,,, yeah. he didn't want to cause a scene, also didn't want to tell will much about it, but i do think leto left some things to apollo in her will that apollo had to fight pretty hard to actually get sent to him

and GOD the emotions of apollo watchign will grow up... AHSDFJ ILL NEVER GET OVER IT like its hard to accept but he eventually does recognize it. and it's painful but it also feels good to know that that'll never happen. to watch his son at 16 spend his afternoon doing homework, and at 17 having a healthy relationship with his best friend, and at 18 applying to colleges... it definitely makes apollo proud, but it also breaks his heart a bit. because he couldn't imagine ever forcing the childhood that he had on his son, and he has to admit that his father hadn't felt the same sense of protection or care, and that even though his mom did, she wasn't in a position to do anything that would truly help :/

ALSO ALSO IDK IF IT WAS INTENTIONAL BUT HAVING APOLLO, THE PROTECTOR OF YOUNG BOYS, BE THE ONE TO RESCUE NICO FROM AN ABUSIVE SITUATION AND GAVE HIM THE RESOURCES HE NEEDED TO HEAL???? AMAZING

KSDJFLKASJDFSD PARALLELS AHHSDHFHDSFJ no bc that actually just makes me so happyyyyy like yes apollo is a good father yes he always has been and yes he always will be!!!! to literally anyone who needs it. i love him so much. can you believe when i was first outlining this fic i was like "hm, yeah, he plays an important role, but like i'll make sure not to make him a major character or anything"

now we're here. apollo is probably like. the third most major character after nico and will. in greatest of luxuries, at least.

kayla absoluTELY tried to train everyone in archery, and apollo's trying to avoid it bc he's trying not to think back to 2002 when darren tried to teach him archery, and kayla has the exact same instruction style bc darren had taught her, and hes actually better than will and will's friends bc he's learned before, but he fails on purpose bc the memories are too painful because THEY WERE HAPPY-

sorry pollen is possessing me! it will never leave

ANYWAYS IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG IM DOING THIS INSTEAD OF WRITING MY CREATIVE WRITING ASSIGNMENT (I love that class but also UGHHHHH)

this is SO real bc i am responding to this to avoid doing my lit essaysdlkjf

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK

[harlequinoccult]

thank you for explaining the caustic personality!! honestly Vulpine might as well have caustic as his main w apathetic tendencies instead, ig ill find out when the demo is updated XD both personality types fit him too well. honestly he's not that aggressive as a person, he's actually mostly quite polite, but he does have a tendency to stare. the ones who really get to see his aggressive side are the people he dislikes (Host better fucking prepare himself-)

well i figured i'd just finish what i started, and continue on my never-ending ramble. usually i like making Ariel an orphan, it's a bit of a callback to his roots and it fits him, but this time i think the second option i usually go for him fits best: single child of a single mother. she's the only family he has that he knows of, a very loving, religious and hard working lady who was shunned from the community for getting pregnant out of wedlock. the very first fights Ari would get into in his childhood were against kids who would say some unsavory shit abt his mom. having a mother who was blindly dedicated to the same church that constantly made her suffer for the mistake of having a kid without a husband also played a very big part into Ariel becoming an atheist and rebelling against the church in his teen years.

she was p absent as a parent, having to work p much the whole day to be able to support them both, but she tried her best the moments when she was present, and Ari recognizes that and loves her dearly. he started stealing things and got his first job quite young to try to help her pay the bills.

he got arrested when he was around 18 yo, probably getting caught on one of his "heists", trying to steal from the richer houses around, and he hasn't seen her since then. his time in prison was... bad. really fucking bad. the worst, lowest point of his life, in fact.

i have no idea how the legal system works in england and i have no desire to learn, but for what's worth he is caught trying to escape at least once, and spends 2 miserable years in there until he finally manages to leave.

did he actually complete his sentence? lol. lmao.

no. no he didn't. be it by a month, a year, a day, the important thing is he didn't.

is Ariel Fox even his real name? i doubt it. that would be stupid wouldn't it, illegally immigrating to a different country after escaping from prison and using your real ass name to do it, he's smarter than that.

fun fact abt Ari: he does not want to go back to prison. he'll kill himself before they have the chance to catch him.

on a... "unrelated" note, the reason why Carter managed to wrap such a tight leash on Ariel is bc he learned smth he shouldn't have and he's holding that little secret right over his head. im sure you can't possibly guess what he found out that would make Ariel put up w his shit the way he did-

so the fact that Ari ends up in this city (i forgor the name and i can't leave the askbox to check or ill lose everything i typed 😭) is honestly not rlly much of a surprise, nor is the fact that he's p much alone despite living there for years. he's always been a bit of an outcast, a loner, someone who avoids people on purpose. he hasn't seen his mom since he left england, but he looks her up every once in a while. debates whether he should call her. decides it's for the best that he doesn't.

he starts over. new life, new me, or whatever the hell people say. starts off already with shifty connections, he needs a fake identity and a fake birth certificate and a fake everything if he has any hope of passing by unscathed, after all. needs to lay low. not call too much attention. be a nobody. wait until things calm down a bit.

he stays at least a year living like that, settling in, subduing his accent until he can pass it off as having learned it from a family member or some other bullshit. applies for university. becomes just another american college student.

meets someone.

falls in love.

has them taken from him. has his entire life destroyed. again. needs to try to pick himself up. again. is struck with such crippling grief unlike anything he has ever felt before. it's almost as bad as the two worst years of his life.

almost.

he's never letting anything like that happen to him ever again.

anyway! as mentioned before, he was working on getting a doctorate when Carter came along, and he sort of had to drop out after that, to the dismay of his teachers. what was he getting a doctorate on? honestly p much anything would be in-character for Ariel, he's an everything nerd, from language to history to engineering to biology that man wants to know quite literally everything the world has to offer him. his infodumps are the most complete and varied possible, he's a walking talking encyclopedia.

he's an extremely paranoid person who overthinks everything including his own overthinking and really, if nothing else here's to hoping that OD can at least teach him to loosen up a bit-

he never enjoyed doing drugs very much, despite partaking in them quite often in his youth. he's way more likely to experience a bad trip than a good one, so he learned to stay away from them as much as possible, but alcohol and nicotine were a completely different story. he's still addicted to nicotine to this day, the one drug he allows himself to never let go. he was an alcoholic through a big chunk of his life, until someone did Very Bad Things to him when he was too drunk to be able to fight back. that experience just flipped a switch inside of him, it broke him badly enough to make him promise himself to never touch another drop of alcohol in his life, a promise he did very well by until Carter killed his beloved and he had the worst relapse of his life. he's back to being a straight edge now tho, its fine! its not fine

he has immense distaste for the cops of the city, but part of him is kinda grateful that they're so bad at their job or else he would be Fucked. he absolutely despised doing work for Carter, even after he became so numb to it all it made him want to tear his own heart out just to make sure it was still beating. i cannot stress enough how much he suffered inside at the start, part of the reason he started drinking again was to try to ignore how much all of it hurt. at least he could try to make sure Carter didn’t kill innocents. he couldn't really be sure every time, but he tried. he really did.

he probably tried killing Carter at least once. or thought abt it, at the very least. made plans. had it all figured out in his head, down to the last detail, how he would do it and get away with it. ngl, he was probably on the verge of putting it into action when Host sent him that email and just gave him the perfect chance to do it just like that-

as a killer, Vulpine is very much the stealthy type, hiding in the shadows, walking withouth making a sound. if its a group, he'll pick them off one by one, until someone notices and all hell breaks loose or until all of them are dead. if he's forced to kill someone he doesn't think deserves it, he's merciful. very quick, clean deaths, going straight for the vitals, almost painless. if it's someone he thinks deserves to suffer, however... well, he's always been curious to know what a human vivisection would look like.

truth is, he's a sadist. well, a sadomasochist really, but he gets off on making people suffer, and he hates it. he especially hates the fact that hurting the person he loves is such a tantalizing thought. marking them blue and black, covering them in red, it's not really his fault blood is such a beautiful thing, is it? and if his lover wants to do the same to him, well, he's more than happy to oblige. anything for his love. except bondage. getting tied up/held down is actually a pretty bad trigger for him, he hates it, no matter the context

ok well i think that's everything! thanks for indulging me!!

-🦊

The ask is somewhere around here, i know it, but with caustic mcs, Carter assumed they were all bark and no bite. Fitting, i think.

And, given everything, OD is a fitting match, they like learning and they are smart -in their own way- the drugs and partying is for themselves, they aren't the type to pressure people into drugs, in fact, they can and will tell you about the various side effects of any given drug because they think its legitimately interesting.

[rosepetalkitty]

Oh also just because I love watching you infodump about stuff and equally love learning more about people: 11, 13, 15, 16, 19, 21, 22, 26, 33, 36, 38, 39, 40, 41, 44 :)

link to the questions so you can follow along

11: @mnmurmur

13: if you mean kinks, hypnosis and pet play probably but the latter kinda fluctuates. if you mean "things people can do to fluster me", putting a finger to my lips and shushing me or trapping me (like pinned against a wall for example) and forcing me to listen while you mess with my brain

15: a really close call between the first four pirates of the caribbean movies (didn't like the direction dmtnt tried to take things), but i think i have to go with dead man's chest

16: you respect my boundaries, give good aftercare and don't expect dominance from me, even if i get to show it sometimes.

19: i take notes about people! i don't think that's weird though tbh. i have "people cards" in my pkms to keep track of birthdays, who's taller than who, which people are in relationships with each other, etc. and it makes keeping up with social interactions wayyyy easier for me.

21: ooh that's tough... probably the fact that im good at comforting people when they're scared/anxious. or at least im pretty sure that's the case...

22: well, career wise im going into systems administration, but also i wanna pass as a woman, i wanna be fully able to support myself financially, i wanna make more friends who i can actually hang out with instead of just people who come to me for help on coding assignments, and i wanna get more comfortable being at parties and stuff because i love social interaction and just kinda don't know how to get into situations where that happens. sorry for this one being so long lmfao

26: people telling me to do things im already trying to do oh my god it drives me insane. yes, mom, i am actually capable of remembering to do the thing i just told you i was frustrated at the difficulty doing. "well, make sure you do x" is not a helpful response to "im trying to do x and it's a pain"

33: being told im pretty is nice but like honestly, being told that people actually enjoy interacting with me is my favorite compliment because i have a lot of self doubt around that.

36: somewhere urban and walkable, but not stupidly silly expensive. alternatively, puerto rico, see also 41.

38: at first i wanted to be a marine biologist (i really liked dolphins) but then i realized i didn't really like biology, so i decided i was gonna build robots and found out i didn't like all the math involved, and then when i was like. 11? i settled on coding and that evolved into systems administration by the time i was in high school. now it's my major in uni!

39: cookie dough. although i would enjoy it just as much without the ice cream part (i loooove raw cookie dough, some brands make cookie dough that's safe to eat raw and it's everything to me), so i guess uhhhhh tough call between mint and coconut

40: i wish i passed, i wish i was shorter, i wish i had a job, i wish i didn't have anxiety and depression and all the various executive functioning issues, i wish i was the kind of person people would invite to parties, and i wish all the trauma ive collected from my childhood hadn't made a lot of the things i want to enjoy terrifying to me.

41: god, honestly i wish i could move to puerto rico (where my dad is from) because it's a beautiful place and im really emotionally connected to it. i haven't been to the island since i was a kid and i just want to go back :(

44: as of somewhat recently i am an ordained minister. the church of the flying spaghetti monster will ordain you for $60 online, and i can legally marry people as long as i'm dressed as a pirate in (i think?) most states (pennsylvania can't take a joke but afaik the rest won't stop me). i did this on a whim and myrrh and i have agreed that it's probably the best $60 i've spent to date.

[shreddeddescent]

in terms of the vagueness of raph's specific sexual abuse, i think ive been a bit wishy washy on how i talk about it (as ive... changed my mind on the specifics as ive gotten into writing more bits, canon and drafts and whatever be damned, i think ive pieced it together)

lemme like write out the timeline for how i think it all went down

uh. warnings for... csa. obviously.

so to kind of cement it out, raph started being sexually abused by his father at 8 years old. he barely remembers it because his splintered personality shit started at 6, when his mother "died". im unsure on if raph is even the original personality. what makes more sense? that raph was being beaten by his father so he'd stop crying over his dead mother and invented a CHILD to take that abuse? or that he invented a new PARENTAL persona to deal with it after? im honestly NOT sure what the answer is. maybe its both, who fucking knows. HE sure wouldnt.

the abuse from his father is what kind of kept him in line, so to speak, but also caused so many of those anger issues he has. the issues he puts ELSEWHERE.... if he fucks up? hes punished. if his brothers fuck up? hes punished. he doesnt remember the punishment, but he knows to stay in line. hes a good little soldier. its not something that happened in front of his brothers, but it might have been loud enough they could hear... something. as little as they would understand.

when hes 12 they realize somethings different about him, because leos puberty has become more obvious than his. maybe he blames leo for his own problems ever being discovered. maybe thats why hes EXTRA mad about leos physical body.

(i also apologize for the way ive overly dramatized the sexual-dimorphism, its gotten a bit out of hand since the start but SHRUG it helps to show things over dramatically)

but when that part is realized, the sexual abuse under his father becomes different. thats when it's less about controlling him, and more about it being his purpose. doesnt happen in beds or in the dojo anymore, it happens in LABS after that, it happens to test him. to see if things will work. hes experimented on in terms of... being under a scope. having his body never feel like his own. hes sexually abused medically after that, if that makes sense. this builds up the phobia of labs and doctors and medical treatment.

and the reason the same kind of controlling sexual abuse never happened to leo is because of the part where he's already been disappointing enough, shredder knew that wouldnt fucking matter. there was never an idea in shredders mind that it would work, so he just takes worse beatings than raph did. and besides, shredder quickly realizes once he cant be used as a donor, leos the best option he has.

but shredder's lack of thinking of raph as a person causes him to say too much, thinking raph wouldnt fucking care what happened to him, let alone his brothers. so he tells raph that leo's going to take over for that. or he tells SOMEONE inside raph that that's what will happen.

but as soon as raph learns that part, its time to leave. hes okay enough to get them all out, okay enough to cope with the complete change in lifestyle, and then he starts to deteriorate.

his mother didnt help the situation, like she tried in her own way, but raphs shitty brain trying to process that the father he barely remembers raping him has also abused and beat and raped and tried to kill her? it makes him lock that shit up tighter. its not about him, in his eyes. to him? his mother saved him. shes the hero of his life. he had a bad parent, he has a good parent. she has to be just as good as he was evil. thats how he sees it.

to his brothers? raph saved them. theres this nice mom here, but... its been 6 years. they dont know the worst shit their dad did to her (cuz they shouldnt, theyre fucking children) but they know they had no adults for 6 fucking years of their childhood. so she does not get the hero treatment from them. which in turn, makes raph resent them.

raph processing all that with his fucked up brain turns him into a fucking maniac who puts all the blame on leo, despite none of it being leos fault. while his awake/most conscious brain has blocked out being raped and being told leo would rape him, he still has that fear and anger and resentment. he feels it, but so much of it goes into slash. and slash processes that shit worse. slash is ready to protect himself at all times, if slash sees leo make a face, leos getting hit. if leo pisses raph off too much, slash is coming out and leos getting hit. its bad. leo doesnt actually deserve any of that ire, he did nothing wrong, he just doesnt help the situation by being a traumatized kid who's only outlet is poking fun at his abusive older brother.

its great when casey comes along, because its a new outlet for raph, hes so much less angry because hes out of the house, hes away from his family, hes letting out years of pent up rage and aggression, and hes in some kind of sexual situation that he actually wants to be in. so he's balancing himself out with her help. she is good for him.

so for about 2 years raph is just... avoidant. and no one minds, because hes better than he was. he still has moments of anger, but the hitting stops. he gets along with leo in so far as they can hang out in a group setting with their brothers. they absolutely both prefer the twins to each other, but theyre... okay. they all kind of know they're an abused family, no one really says it. who would want to? they kind of accept each others quirks, and its lucky theres no adult men in this house to set anyone off. literally no one in that house would be able to handle a man raising his voice.

and then raph remembers pieces. and then it all kind of... clicks into place. and then he realizes its not about leo at all, and he apologizes. and leo realizes why raph's been like that. and then they reconnect, and then theyre finally brothers. leos the only person (other than casey) that really knows about the sexual abuse at that point. so now raph has two people he trusts like that.

and thats kind of where we're at. thats the baseline for everything.