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faithinthefuture28 · 5 years ago

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Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker).

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song.

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy. I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back).

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean).

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about).

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do).

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives.

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together.

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home.

2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you.

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door, hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person?

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”.

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dodo-begone · 4 years ago

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Loyal here!

I was thinking about the yandere kids and had a thought. If all this yandere stuff goes down while Tubbo and Ranboo are platonically married, perhaps they’d work together in kidnapping y/n and bring them back to their shared home. Maybe the two try and persuade y/n to stop trying to escape by guilting them with Michael. And though he’s a child and none of it’s his fault, I’m sure that—so long as the Stockholm syndrome hasn’t kicked in yet—they would grow to despise the kid. So, in a last ditch effort, maybe they threaten Michael’s life, but promise his safety so long as the two boys would just let them go. Please. They can’t take this anymore.

Imagine if y/n had wings. They’re basically a symbol of freedom, ya know? I’m only familiar with the DSMP, but my god. I don’t see any of them letting their darling keep their ability to fly. I’m too tired to group ppl at the moment, but here are some generalized reactions/responses I’d expect. (I hope that last sentence made sense. I’m tired af.) Some would maybe clip four or five primary feathers, allowing y/n to glide, but not lift off. Others may clip some secondary feathers, which leads to poor gliding and landing. Gives y/n a hope that they can fly away, only to struggle to stay in the air and/or land safely. If this is the case, the yandere can go and collect their darling, cooing at them and softly telling them that everything will be okay as they lead y/n back home and tend to their wounds. Or, maybe they’re scolding, telling y/n that they knew this would happen, and if they’d listened, they wouldn’t be hurt. Then there’s those who would clip both primary and secondary. They don’t want to take any chances, but they also ain’t gonna risk hurting them or making y/n hate them. Also, there’s those that would flat out pluck the feathers. If a birds feathers are plucked from the same spot often enough, they’ll never grow back. Lastly, those who decide that the wings need to go. Whether this is their first choice or a last-ditch effort depends on the person, though. I only pray that y/n ends up stuck with a yandere who would only do so as a last resort.... :)

I don’t know why, but this concept has always plagued my minds when it comes to yaderes in general. For yanderes who would be a romantic and not platonic: how would they react if their darling didn’t swing their way? For example, a female yandere who has a male darling that’s gay, a female yandere with a female darling who’s straight, or a male yandere with a gender neutral darling who’s into girls. THIS HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR YEARS AND IDK WHY IVE NEVER BROUGHT IT UP BUT IM BRINGING IT UP NOW. Idk why, but the concept is funny to me. There’s so many ways that this can be discovered by the yandere. Imagine being so close to confessing to your darling, only to see them making googoo eyes at some dude and they comment about his looks. When you ask their sexuality, they say they only like guys. You’re a girl. OR maybe you’re a guy and your darling comes to you with something heavy obviously on her mind. She wringing her hands as she says that she wants to tell you something, mentioning that you’ll be the first to know. She comes out to you as lesbian. *Cue surprised Pikachu face* it just *chefs kiss* cracks me up.

Ah yeah, the platonic marriage team-up. A dream team- Threatening Micheal; 10/10 move. They care so much for Micheal, but who do they care more for? Do they want you to stay more than Micheal to live? If Micheal was disposable... you aren't going anywhere. Go on, try it >:D

Okay the wings? Hella fun idea! I don't know birds well, so forgive me on this Loyal- So here's what I got (this is dsmp only)

Clip Primaries: Philza, Quackity, Eret Clip Secondaries: Foolish, Niki, Bad Clip a bit of both: Ranboo, Fundy Pluck em: Schlatt (You won't fly away AND he gets memorabilia) No Wings: Techno, Dream

I'll admit, I've only thought about that last one a few times but I never really pondered over it heavily. It's an absolutely hilarious crack idea but also a heavy angst idea. The amount of pain inflicted on both parties- UGH. I'd go into this deeper, but then it'd get more questionable and might trigger/upset some people.

#ask #loyal anon #tw: yandere #rambling with dodo #c: tubbo #c: ranboo

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stevethehairington · 5 years ago

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so like what about a gallavich fic that's like very very loosely inspired by baby driver? (and when I say very loosely I mean very loosely lol)

like, ian works at this diner, and one night mickey comes in really late at night, and he just sits alone at the counter and orders a coffee, drinks it black, doesn't say anything except his order. ian isnt the one who serves him this first time, but he notices him. and so of course, he notices when mickey returns a few nights later. and then it becomes a constant thing, mickey showing up in the diner. he always looks kind of haggard and tired, but also amped up, like he's a little paranoid of something maybe. ian takes his order the second time he's there and from then on out he always makes sure he's the one serving mickey. ian always tries to make conversation with mickey, but mickey isn't very receptive and doesnt do much more than grunt or give terse, one worded answers. occasionally he'll snap at ian to shut up or back off- he doesnt like the prying. hes never been one to share much about himself with others, especially strangers, and he doesnt get why some waiter is so interested in his life. one time, ian steps outside to take a smoke break and mickey confronts him about the questions (this happens after a night where ians being particularly chatty, maybe he asks a few questions that hit too close to home) and so mickey follows him outside and he's just like "the fuck's with the 20 questions in there, huh? you workin' for someone? someone pay you to ask me that shit?" and ians like "woah, hey no. no one's paying me, what the fuck. im just trying to be friendly, you seem... you seem lonely. and sad." or smth like that and that hits too close to home too and mickey gets defensive and maybe he like throws the first punch or something and they get into a scuffle, and when the fighting dies down they're like maybe slumped against the wall of the diner or smth and and mickeys like "i dont need friends" or smth like that and ians just like "okay" and then mickey leaves or whatever. but he still comes back again, and ian still serves him but there's some sort of mutual understanding now. ian still tries to talk, and this time mickey talks back a little. they begin to befriend each other.

outside of the diner, mickey is definitely involved in the criminal sphere. he works for this guy with this group of people and they rob banks and shit or smth and he can either be part of the team that does the robbing or he can be the getaway driver, doesnt really matter which, but he's involved with this, but ian doesnt know that ofc. though, the closer they get the more he becomes clued in that mickeys part of something not so good.

one day mickey comes into the diner and hes even twitchier than usual and he keeps looking over his shoulder (which has a lot to do w the fact that he decided hes done doing this shit and wants out and his boss isnt so thrilled w that) and ian comes over with his coffee and pours it out and mickey stares into the cup for a second then looks up at ian and goes "let's run away. let's fuckin run away" and ians like "what?" and mickeys like "yeah cmon let's do it, lets get the fuck outta here and let's not look back. you're always saying you wanna leave, so let's do it" and it takes a minute for ian to properly digest it but then a slow smiles spreading over his face and hes like "shit, yeah, okay let's do it"

and so they plan to split to get the shit they need and meet back at the diner later and theyll get into mickeys car and they'll hit the road and just drive away.

and so. this is where it gets kind of hazy in my mind and it could go a few ways so I dont really have the details hammered out. BUT. im thinking that either:

a. mickey doesnt end up showing up for a reason that likely includes his boss finding him and like maybe threatening to hurt ian if mickey doesnt comply and continue w the heists and shit. and so ian waits for him and he never shows. but then he shows up st the diner either the next day or a few days later and ians upset with him and he serves mickey but he doesnt say a word and hes clearly pissed and mickey tries to apologize for leaving him waiting and then explains that it's not a good idea, he doesnt know what he was thinking. and he makes the decision to break up with ian bc he thinks that will keep him safe from his boss's threats but he doesnt tell ian why hes doing it just makes some bullshit thing up that hurts ian. and maybe ian tries to fight that all like "what the fuck where is this coming from?" but mickeu ofc refuses to say the real reason just says it isnt working or smth

or b. mickey gets a visit from his boss, again, with the whole threatening to hurt ian if mickey tries to get out and leave and shit. but mickey does show up and he doesnt have any bags and ians like wheres your shit? and mickeys like we cant do that anymore. it's not happening. and ians like what? what the fuck? why? and mickey has been so valiantly been trying to keep ian out of his 'work' life and not involve him in any of that criminal shit so he obviously cant tell ian the real reason why so he has to like make up so bullshit reason or whatever and ooh maybe he could like break up with ian bc he thinks doing that will protect him bc if they're not together anymore his boss cant use him to control mickey or smth like that.

but either way, mickeys boss ropes him into another job and it's like a big one or smth and it ends up going bad and mickeys in trouble or hurt or smth idk yet and basically whatever it is it means he's stopped going in the diner, and ians fucking worried bc even if they are broken up he still loves him and he still cares and he connected enough dots to know that mickeys involved in some shit he shouldnt be and maybe he saw mickey get into a verbal argument w his boss outside the diner one day and the dude was shady af and ian thinks something might be up and also maybe he hears smth too, like someone mentions smth big that happened like "oh did you head about that bank robbery gone wrong? apparently someone got shot" or smth like that idk and that gets ian really worried bc he thinks mickey might have smth to do with that and so he maybe tries to go to mickeys house and see if hes okay and he finds hes not okay, and I'm even hazier on what happens in this part lol I havent exactly thought this far in terms of details but idk something happens w mickey and ian has to help him get out of it and the truth obviously comes out and ooh okay maybe to help mickey get out of trouble (maybe the cops are involved somehow like maybe they're looking for mickey but they haven't found him yet?) and something leads to ian blowing up a van (hehe gotta include those nice nods to canon right? lol) or wait maybe a police car instead?? and idk maybe in the end they do end up skipping town and driving off and they're both on the run now but they're on the run together lol idk.

the ending is kind of rough, but I'll try to think of smth better for that, or someone can suggest something better if they think of anything.

but YEAH. this was my brainchild of the night so. enjoy it. and who knows maybe one day I'll actually write this??

#gallavich #shameless #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #mack writes #baby driver au #sort of???#also just gonna put this here please dont steal this idea lol #or like if you wanna try your hand at writing it id appreciate you asking first bc like it is my idea yknow #and like credit is nice since like i said i did come up w this idea and write all this out #yeahhhhhh

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ryan-is-here · 6 years ago

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Just a rant on a little bit of everything (I need advice)

Yeah I already know my grammar sucks

1.My dad is older so he doesn’t really understand the whole trans thing so I’m giving him time on it but when I complain about looking like a girl he goes “you are a girl”

2. I used to do makeup and I actually like it but I stopped because it was really uncomfortable and made my Dysphoria really really bad and I’ve done my makeup twice this week because I figured “fuck Dysphoria I’m going to do what I want” but noopppppeee lmao I thought I’d get over it so the whole day being upset and uncomfortable(I was at school)

3. Jeans are killing me because I can’t help but notice my thighs and it just makes me so uncomfortable and even when I wear regular guy jeans it shows and I don’t know what to do and I used to be into cross dressing and drag but it made me super super Dysphoric so I gave up on it for now like with the makeup

4.teachers:

I have a French teacher (I’m not taking French again next year) and she is so so sweet but I’m not out to teachers at school(just everyone else) and she keeps calling me mademoiselle and it’s so uncomfortable to me but its already the end of the year and I’m not talking it again so I’ll just bare with it I also have a sociology teacher and I have her class again next year for phycology 1 and 2 and I don’t know if I should come out to her now or what

5.My “friends” : I don’t really have any friends anymore but I still hang around these people who don’t support me there’s tori who has told me that she’s still call me by my deadname even when I started on T(she’s not transphobic just ignorant and self absorbed) but other then those type of comments every once and awhile she’s nice then you have my other “friends” they used to be my actual friends but they practically ignored me all the time I’m sure they didn’t mean too but I felt like they did and I’m hanging out with them in the mornings again and it’s happening again there’s also this one girl in the group and I’ve known her since I was 7 or 6 so about ten years now and she is obsessed with the lgbtq+ community like badly she’s lesbian but feels the need to tell everyone and ship every character together that’s female and she dose the same thing to gay guys and real people (like Eurovision idk if that’s what it’s called I’m not really that into music stuff except like heathers and bmc and I don’t really like talking about it I’d just keep it to myself) and she’s obsessed with trans people and constantly tells people for me that I’m trans I know I sound stupid I’m happy she supports us and all but I just can’t help but feel labeled as the trans guy by her and I’m more then just a gay trans guy hell im just a fucking regular guy that happens to be trans and gay

6.t

My insurance covers testosterone but finding a place that will do the bloodwork and the therapy shit to get it that takes my insurance is impossible (not sure what insurance I have) and I don’t have the money currently to go privately and I’ve been waiting to get on it since the beginning of the year and have been waiting for the 1st of 2019 to come since October now (I know I shouldn’t complain because people have waited way way longer than me) and I’m sick and tired of looking like a butch lesbian(no offense)

7. Weight loss tw

I’m like ether 5,3-5,5 and I weigh 150-162 pounds and my goal is 130 or 120 whatever’s healthy and looks good to me really and It’s hard for me to lose weight ive gotten really insecure with my weight to the point that I’ve just tried to not eat at all really but that lasted a full 3 or 4 days before I gave up because I love food and I’m definitely not recommended or saying “fuck yeah do what I did” because thats stupid and what I did was stupid and that goal was stupid you get the point but I just couldn’t help but think about the results now I’m just trying to loose weight by eating better ex: no soda or sweets except for a one small pice of dark chocolate every day almond milk fruits and all of that good shit (I’ve tried apple cider vinegar)

8.i just need friends like I’m lonely af my age is in my bio and all I really like is skating even though I can barely stand on my board yet birds mcr alternative stuff cadge the elephant the story so far blink 182 neck deep knuckle puck real friends and some pop stuff like Ellie Goulding

Anyways I just wanted to ask for advice on the teacher and ftm stuff maybe the weight loss shit too if y’all could give me it on that I’d absolutely love that (please)

#ftm #trans #advice #lose weight #female to male #gay #music #i want friends #yeet #i dont know how to tag this #lgbt #lgbtq

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kcookendrick · 6 years ago

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be alright

Who: Adam Levine and Anna Kendrick (anam) @hfamelevine

When: October 16th 2018/sometime in the morning till night time

Where: Annas doctors office in California and Adam&Annas home

What: Adam and Annas second attempt at IVF doesnt go well and the two dont know how to cope with it not working for the second time.

Trigger warning: mentions of failed ivf treatments and infertility issues

Trigger Warnings: drinking just in case idk?

side note: this is literally emotional af i think this is lowkey saddest thing jojo and i have written cause i reread it and cried. also its long af lol idk why im writing this side not but it took me forever to edit

Anna: It was the 16th, the date her doctor gave her to come back and find out if the IVF had worked or not. Anna was nervous, of course she was nervous. The women had every right to be nervous, but as she sat there in the room with Adam, the brunette took a breath and closed her eyes for a few moments. Anna began to chew her lips per usual when she was nervous, and a million thoughts started running through her mind. Playing with the ends of the hospital gown, she hated waiting for the results. Letting out deep breaths, Anna was getting lost within her thoughts again.

Adam: He had just gotten home, and to go right from his place of comfort at home to another IVF appointment had his mind jumbled and all over the place, that was for sure. He had barely been running on any sleep and coffee had become his best friend as of late, but he was home for good now and he wanted to be there as much as he could be for Anna. They had been able to put a rush on the rest of their IVF treatment while he was gone and finishing up the tour with the guys and Julia, and today was the appointment where they’d find out if it worked and more importantly, if Anna was pregnant. They were in their room waiting for the doctor to come in so they could get the results from the blood test that she had just taken a little over a half hour ago, and as Adam sat there he could tell that Anna was in a total different place completely right now. Letting out a small breath, he looked at her and reached out his hand. “Hey…” He whispers, “Babe…”

Anna: She knew this wasn’t hard just for her, it was hard for him too. But Anna couldn’t help but get emotional every time they come in here. It was like bad news, after bad news whenever she’d come here. Sitting there, in that hospital gown waiting for the test results, Anna’s stomach turned into knots and she licked her lips. Jumping a little but not meaning too when Adam opened his mouth to speak, she sighed “hmm..” Was all she could say at the moment

Adam: Doctors had been and always were indifferent when it came to Adam. He had just been in and out of the doctors for his throat issue and the sickness that he had caught from Anna, and even if that was different than right now was, he still didn’t have much of an opinion. There he was, holding in his feelings over the situation once again. He frowns as she jumps and then sits up a little more in the chair that he’s sitting in, his hand resting on top of hers now. “I love you.” He says, softly.

Anna: If there was anything Anna hated more, it was waiting. Waiting the last time with Aubrey was awful too, and when it came out negative Anna shut down in front of her best friend and just got out of there as soon as possible. She probably would do the same thing today if it had turned out to be negative. With Adam’s hand resting over hers, she noticed the frown and the brunette smiled softly “I love you too.” She whispered, and leaned in to kiss him. “What’s taking so long? With the stick it doesn’t take this long.” Anna whispered

Adam: He was reassured only a little bit when Anna smiled and kissed him back, but he was worried. It was a default for Adam, especially when it came to Anna. She was his everything, his future wife and hopefully, the mother of his child at some point, and he’d always be worried about her in situations like these ones. “They’re doing a blood test, babe. It takes a little bit, I think.” He says, letting out a sigh as he runs his free hand through his hair. “I’m sure they’re just…double checking everything or something.”

Anna: The brunette could tell he was worried about her, but he didn’t have to be, Anna was fine. Well she wasn’t, but Anna was trying to be. If anything, the actress was more worried about him considering he had just opened up to her about a few things regarding this a week ago. “Well this waiting is making me nervous and impatient, it makes me feel like theyre finding more things that’s wrong with me.” Anna said, laughing a little and then she looked at him

Adam: “I’m sure that’s not the case, babe…” He stops for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts about the situation to answer her again. His mouth even opens to do so, but the door to their room is opening too so his mouth instead, stays closed. “Hi, Anna, Adam. How are you today?” Adam flashes a smile in the doctor’s direction and answers with a quiet “Good, thank you” before her attention is back on Anna. “How are you feeling, Anna?” She asks, grabbing a clipboard to put down the folder that she had in her arms.

Anna: Listening to him talk, Anna couldn’t help but sigh. The women was tired, and Anna just didn’t want to be here right now. Letting out a breath, when Adam began to talk again but didn’t the brunette looked over as her doctor walked in. Pushing her hair back behind her ears, Anna sat up straight and she shook her head “I’m fine, thank you.” She watched as her doctor clenched the clipboard and folder in her arms.

Adam: The way that today had felt to him, it was weird. It wasn’t like the first time that they’d come in for their IVF appointment, but the vibe was weird and as he looked over at Anna every few moments, he could tell that she felt the same way about the issue. Clearing her throat, the doctor nods her head. “Well, glad to hear it. I have your blood test results.” She says, opening the folder then and glancing down at the clipboard where the information sat.

Anna: She was actually really happy that Adam was with her this time, Anna now realized on how stupid it was not to tell him about the first appointment. Starting to fidget with her fingers, Anna stopped and then held her arms for comfort like she always did. When her doctor mentioned the blood test results, Anna could tell by the sound of her voice that it wasn’t good. She looked at Adam, but then looked back at her doctor waiting for an answer.

Adam: Adam isn’t showing it, but he’s completely and utterly nervous. This had been the first time that he was with Anna to find out if she was pregnant or not after the first appointment fiasco, and he had hoped that it would go in their favor. However, the doctor’s tone of voice was completely different and he could feel himself starting to frown again as she began to speak. “So, your procedure went well. There was no complications with anything this time around, since I know that was something that came up last time. Everything looked great.” She clears her throat. “Unfortunately, I’m…I’m sorry to tell you that you’re not pregnant.”

Anna: Anna didn’t know weather or not to stay, or blot and that thought had been running around in her head ever since she got here. Taking a breath, the 33 year old listened to her doctor speak. She nodded her head, at the first few words and then got choked up at her last. She looked at Adam again, and then at her doctor and Anna felt the big lump just form in her throat. “I..,” Not knowing what to say, Anna chewed her lips “I’m not.” She said quietly to Adam, and then started to look for her clothes. Now all she just wanted to do was bolt and get out of there.

Adam: There it was. The words that Adam just didn’t not want to hear today. He had hoped for the last couple of days leading up to their appointment today that something would be different and that they would have some sort of a better luck, but their doctor had taken that away from him. Staying silent for a moment, Adam clears his throat and looks at Anna, while the doctor is speaking up again. “I’m very sorry, Ms Kendrick. We wanted you to know that there were no complications this time around, everything went smoothly and there was nothing to worry about. It just wasn’t a possibility this time.” She frowned, “We can set up another appointment, if you’d like.”

Anna: When Adam cleared his throat, the brunette took a breath. She felt water form in her eyes and Anna was not about to brake down in front of her doctor. Taking a breath, Anna chewed on her lips and listened to her doctor talk. The actress swallowed hard and finally opened her mouth to speak “I don’t…” Not knowing exactly what to say, since Anna now realized that maybe IVF wasn’t the best choice the brunette looked at Adam and she then looked at her Doctor “Can we have a minute please? I just… it didn’t work the last time. I’m just…”

Adam: The doctor nods, and it’s from a standpoint of understanding so she doesn’t say anything else about another appointment in that moment. “Of course, everything is all set up for you to check out when you’re ready to, just let the receptionist know if another appointment is what you’d like to do. Have a good day.” She smiles in the directions of both Adam and Anna, and Adam silently thanks her before she leaves the room. As soon as the door shuts, Adam’s emotions take him over and he gets right up from the chair that he’s sitting in. “Let’s go.”

Anna: When her doctor left the room, Anna took another breath and began to put her clothes back on. She was upset, of course she was upset. This was the second time the IVF didnt work. Sighing, she heard Adams voice and Anna just looked at him “I’m sorry.” Anna whispered and closed her eyes for a few moments, the brunette could feel the tears falling down her face. “I’m sorry.”

Adam: It was only the second or third or so time that Anna was witnessing Adam’s emotions. He was never one to put them out there, but this was the second time that the IVF process didn’t work and he didn’t know if he even wanted to consider trying a third time. As he watches her put her clothes back on, Adam shook his head at her repeated and attempted apologies. “Don’t. Let’s just go.”

Anna: “Adam.” Was all she could say with her voice all choked up, the brunette shook her head and tears fell down her face. “I don’t… I don’t know why it didn’t work. We didn’t drink and I took all the medicine and shots and I..” Stopping herself Anna from saying anything more, the women chewed her lips and finished getting dressed “Do you want to continue with IVF or no?”

Adam: He doesn’t say anything as she speaks and is becoming increasingly impatient as she continues and soon enough, finishes getting dressed. There was nothing for him to say and it felt like they had put a rush on this last process for them, for nothing. However, when she asks if he wants to continue with the IVF treatments anyway, he suddenly looks at her, frown settled on his face. “Why?” He asked, voice cracking. “Why? So it doesn’t fucking work?”

Anna: At his reaction to her question, now Anna didnt know if having Adam here with her was a goodnight idea or not. The last thing she wanted was to brake down in front of him and fight. She’s done that enough times. Taking a few breaths, Anna pulls her hair back into a low pony tail and grabs her bag from the chair. When he turns his head, Anna goes quiet “Why are you snapping at me?” She questioned, Anna knew he wasn’t really snapping but she wasn’t in the mood to fight “I’m sorry that it didn’t fucking work. I told you that it wasn’t going to fucking work” She was upset and Anna didn’t know how to handle her emotions right now

Adam: Adam stares at Anna and doesn’t say anything out of anger. He knew that if he did say something, it would be words that he didn’t mean and they didn’t need to fight in the middle of a doctor’s office right now. Grabbing his phone, Adam opens the door to their room and heads outside and down the hall to where she’s supposed to check out, biting down hard on his lower lip to try and hide the fact that tears were starting to well up and fill up in his eyes.

Anna: Anna was getting frustrated, and she didn’t want to take that out on Adam. Trying not to get all emotional right now, the women let out a shaky breath and pushed the strains of hair out of her face. Anna had then bit down hard on her tongue and followed him. Checking out, she decided to make the appointment but looked at Adam “I’m making another appointment, okay?” She questioned, maybe they needed to just keep trying. “Right now it’s an appointment for a check up not for the IVF.” Was all she could say

Adam: “I’ll be at the car.” The words come out choked and he feels bad for not staying there until Anna is done checking out, but Adam severely needed air right now. He left the doctors office and made his way outside, down to his car before climbing in and starting it. Slamming the door, he clears his throat and finally lets the tears fall down his face.

Anna: When he left, Anna looked at the secretary as she noticed the older women had a worried a face on her look. Bitting down harder on her tongue, Anna continued making the follow up appointment and thanked the secretary. As she was walking outside, Anna got to the car and bit down hard on the inside of her cheeks this time. Opening the door, Anna gets in and realized that Adam was crying. She turned to face him, and the brunette pressed her forehead against his “Im sorry.” Anna whispered and repeated “I’m sorry.” This time all choked up, now with tears falling down from her own eyes.

Adam: Adam was lost in his thoughts when Anna had finally come back out to the car after finishing up inside the doctors office. Before she had come out, he didn’t even realize that a sob or two had left his throat and tears were still falling down his face, but he was pulled from his thoughts when Anna got into the car and looked at him. He stared back at her, then shook his head. “Stop,” He says, his voice cracking.

Anna: With her lips quivering, Anna sat back in the seat and she starred out the window for a few moments. Tears were falling down her face silently, and Anna just didn’t know what do do or say right now. She wasn’t pregnant, and sure it wasn’t her fault but it felt like it and all Anna wanted to say was sorry, but he told her to stop and that bothered her. Taking a breath, Anna stayed silent for a few more moments “I just.., if everything went well during the procedure then why am I not pregnant?” She asked, more so to herself than to Adam.

Adam: “I’m not a doctor. Don’t ask me.” The words come out snappy, and he doesn’t realize it until a few moments later after having stayed silent. Clearing his throat, he forcefully and quickly runs his hand underneath his eyes to get rid of the residual tears that he had there and began to pull out of the doctors office parking lot.

Anna: When he snaps at her, Anna just looked at him and then swallowed hard. Tears continued to fall down her face when he began to drive home, Anna stayed silent for the rest of the car ride but continued to look out the window. This wasn’t working, the whole making a baby thing wasn’t working and Anna didn’t know how to deal with it not working anymore. Once arriving home, the brunette let out a sigh as they parked in the garage. Walking into the home, the women turned around and looked at him “I’m kind of tired, so I think I’m gonna go back to bed.” It was still morning time, more like the afternoon but Anna just didn’t want to deal with this anymore.

Adam: Adam didn’t know what else to do and he had promised Anna that they could look into adoption if this second round of IVF hadn’t worked for them. Well. Here they were, the second round hadn’t worked and he had to wonder if it was best to even try again or if they should consider really looking into adoption. As they returned home, Adam was exhausted and was still trying to pull himself out of his own mood. Putting his things down on the table in the living room, he doesn’t say anything to Anna and then plops down on the couch.

Anna: Anna was mentally, and physically exhausted from trying to get pregnant. She didn’t know if she wanted to continue with IVF, maybe she should look into a surrogate or really, really consider adoption. As Anna walked up the stairs, she walked into their bedroom and into the bathroom. Taking a breath, Anna looked into the mirror for a moment. She placed her hand on her stomach, and didn’t realize a few loud sobs had fell from her mouth until her hands were covering her face. Anna couldn’t stop crying, and as a few more sobs escaped Anna took a few breaths to try to calm herself down.

Adam: Fuck. Adam could hear the sobbing coming from upstairs and part of him had just wanted to get up and go and comfort Anna. However, the other part of him had wanted to just stay right there where he was but he knew that he couldn’t. Getting up from the couch, Adam made his way up the stairs and down the hall to his and Anna’s room. Walking into the bathroom, he looked at her for a few moments even though her hands were covering her face, and that’s when he began to frown. “…Babe…” He says with a sigh.

Anna: Putting her hand on her hips, Anna continued to cry and she just couldn’t stop. The women was getting frustrated now, becuase she couldn’t tell if she was angry or upset or both. Placing her hands on the counter, Anna rested her head there for a few moments and just let out a few more sobs. She jumped a little when she heard Adam’s voice. Staying in that position for the time being, Anna swallowed hard and then stood up. Turning to face him, Anna didn’t know what to say. She walked past him, and into their closet so she could change. Standing in there, Anna starred at her clothes for a few moments and then turned to face Adam once more.

Adam: Letting out a heavy breath, Adam supposed that he deserved that. He spent a huge majority of their ride home from the doctors ignoring her, as well as doing the same thing when they had gotten home. Walking back into their room from the bathroom, Adam pulled his shoes off, put his phone and wallet down on his bedside table and then sat down on the edge of the bed. Staring at Anna, he watches as she looks at him. “…Wanna talk about it?”

Anna: “There’s nothing to talk about Adam, I’m not pregnant.” Anna said quickly, and watched as he put his phone and wallet on the bedside table. Chewing her lips, Anna folded her arms across her chest and the actress stood there for a few moments. Her eyes were heavy but dry from crying, and now her throat and head was hurting her again.

Adam: The words cut him like a knife, his eyes squeezed closed and he looked away from her. He was hoping to talk more about the appointment and the doctors in general rather than just her not being pregnant, but he didn’t want to push the issue. Clearing his throat, Adam coughs and covers his mouth before getting comfortable on the bed.

Anna: Anna didn’t want to talk, at least not now. All the women wanted to do was go back to sleep, and as Anna walked into the closet again she grabbed a pair of pajamas and started to change with him sitting there. Once getting into her pjs, she found socks and one of his hoodies and put it on. Rubbing her face, Anna took a breath and walked over towards their bed.

Adam: Adam sat where he was for a few moments, but eventually got up to change himself. Running his hand through his hair, he maneuvered his way around their closet too and changed into a pair of black shorts and a white tank top, taking his socks off so that he was barefoot. It was obvious where he was going, but Anna didn’t say anything to him as she changed so he did the same thing. He cleared his throat one more time, rubbed his eyes of the remaining tears and then left the room to head downstairs to the basement where their new home gym was.

Anna: Anna knew exactly where he was going, watching him change Anna laid down on the bed and watched him walk out. Taking a few breaths, a few more tears fell down her face and Anna swallowed hard. Sitting up, the women didn’t want to sleep anymore. Walking out of her bedroom, and down the stairs Anna grabbed herself a water bottle and headed for the basement.

Adam: As he made his way into the basement, Adam grabbed his boxing gloves and pulled them into his hands. Staring at the bag in front of him a few moments later, he lets out a small breath, closes his eyes for a few moments, and starts hitting the bag. It only takes him a few seconds before his hits become harder and harder, and the bag is flying back and forth because of the blows from him.

Anna: While walking through the basement to his spot, Anna stubs her toe on one of Dusty’s toys and she shakes her head in frustration. Taking a breath, Anna walked over to where Adam was and stood next to him “There’s nothing to talk about Adam, I’m not pregnant and you don’t want to try with the IVF again.” She said, and watched as he hit the punching bag harder and harder.

Adam: “Right—sorry. Forget I tried to be a supportive…fiancé.” His breath was heavy because of the force of the blows, and they aren’t stopping anytime soon. His thoughts are flashing to the last time Anna had done this back at his old place in L.A, but his eyes don’t move from the punching bag this time like they had done the previous time. “Move,” He breaths again, heavily. “Get out of the way.”

Anna: Folding her arms across her chest, Anna glared at him “What are you talking about?” She questioned, and took a breath “Adam, I asked if you wanted me to make another appointment and you fucking snapped at me.” She said, and then watched as his breathing became heavier and heavier. When he told her to move, and get out of the way Anna glared at him again “No.”

Adam: “I asked if you wanted to talk about it, you ignored me. I forgot we’re twelve.” Adam snaps back. Not listening to her any further, the blows to the punching bag become so hard that Adam is now irritated that Anna isn’t moving out of the way. One of them even comes to close to hitting her from its drawback, and he lets out a heavy groan, irritated as he pulls the gloves off of his hands. “Fuck!” He shouted. “I told you not to fucking do that!”

Anna: “Talk about what? How I’m the fucking reason the stupid IVF isn’t fucking working?” She questioned, and then shook her head then realized that he almost hit her. “Stop fucking yelling at me. I’m not in the fucking mood for this.”

Adam: “I just almost /fucking/ hit you.” Adam says back, tone in his voice angry as he stares at her. “I keep telling you not to stand in the way of the bag, and you keep doing it. Can you just fucking listen to me for once so it doesn’t fucking hit you? Shit.” He shakes his head, breathing heavily now as he throws the gloves off to the side and leans down, letting out a heavy breath.

Anna: With his change of tone, Anna took a breath and didn’t understand what he was angry about. It wasn’t his fault that she wasn’t pregnant. Taking a breath, Anna just listens to him and shakes her head “What are you so annoyed about? You’re not the reason the fucking ivf didn’t work Adam.” She said, and watched as he was starting to breath heavily now.

Adam: “Am I not allowed to be annoyed about it now?” He asks back, tilting his eyebrow in her direction. He shakes his head and runs his hand through his hair, then grabs the gloves again and gets back up. “Stay out of the way.”

Anna: Holding onto the punching bag now so he wouldn’t box, Anna looked at him for a few moments. “I’m not going to get pregnant by sex clearly, so we need to seriously think about adoption. I’ll talk to my doctor about it when the follow up happens, okay?” Anna questioned, and continued to hold onto the punching bag.

Adam: Just as Adam is about to start hitting the punching bag again, Anna is suddenly holding onto it. He glares at her, no expression on his face and her words seemingly go in one ear and out the other. “Move,” He says.

Anna: With the punching bag being bigger than her, Anna looked at Adam as he glared at her “Stop being a fucking asshole for one minute. It’s not your fault on why I’m not pregnant, it’s mine and if you don’t want to look into adoption then I don’t know what else to do since IVF clearly isn’t working either. If you still want this with me, then please just come with me so we can talk to her about the whole adoption process.” Anna said, being serious now.

Adam: “I’m not being an asshole!” He snaps back. Pulling the boxing gloves off of his hands and pushes them aside again, he stares at her. “You know, you can go off and give me the silent treatment and do what you need to do to get through a situation like this, but because my only fucking way to deal with it is boxing—you won’t let me?” He’s taken back at the fact, then grabs the pair of socks and shoes that he had left down there from before their appointment to put them on.

Anna: Finally letting go of the punching bag, Anna takes a breath. When he snaps, and stares at her Anna couldn’t help but let the tears form in her eyes again “I’m not letting you, becuase you’re not fucking listening to me about the whole adoption thing. I’m being serious Adam, I’m not going to get pregnant anytime soon it looks like, so this is my second option.” Anna said, taking a breath and then watched as he grabbed a par of socks and shoes.

Adam: “I don’t need to fucking listen!” He’s attempting to drown out the rest of the words, and his anger is causing him to continue to breathe heavily even if he wasn’t hitting the punching bag. He could feel himself breaking down, but this had been another instance where he felt he couldn’t do it in front of Anna. Lacing his shoes to tie them and finally standing up, he heads for the backdoor of their basement. “Don’t come after me, Anna. I mean it.”

Anna: This isn’t what she wanted, Anna didn’t want them to be constantly fighting about this. She told Patsy, she told Patsy that she was afraid this is what would eventually brake them up and that it would all be her fault, and right now Anna was scared. Taking a breath, Anna watched as he walked out the backdoor and the brunette just stood there. Tears were filling up in her eyes again, and Anna walked upstairs. It was a good thing that Dusty wasn’t here right now. Heading back into their bedroom, Anna laid down in bed and just cried until she felt her eyes getting tired.

Adam: After walking out the back door, Adam grabbed one of his motorcycle helmets and strapped it onto his head, but he just stood there for a moment. Letting out a heavy breath, he could feel tears welling in his eyes as he pulled the keys out of his shorts pocket and pulled one of his bikes forward out of the back garage and onto the pavement. Climbing onto it, he started the bike and placed his hands on the handles, revving the engine heavily.

Anna: As she laid there, with her eyes almost closed she felt tears falling from then now as Anna heard the sound of his motorcycle. After the brunette asked him not to ride it, there he was riding it. The women couldn’t stop him, he was a grown man and could do whatever he wanted but now Anna was just even more upset and mad.

Adam: He had truthfully lost track of how long that he had been gone once he pulled the bike out of their yard. Between simply just riding around, getting food by himself, stopping at his mom’s place and simply just riding around again a second time, it had to have been a couple of hours at least. When he finally pulls back into the yard, he pulls the bike into the garage and turns it off. Taking his helmet off as he puts it away in the garage, Adam is back down in the basement, his shoes are off and moved to the side like he had just previously done so with his motorcycle helmet, and he finally headed back upstairs to find Anna. “I’m home,” Is all that he calls out, turning the corner to walk into the living room.

Anna: Anna finally passed out from crying, and she didn’t realize what time it was until the women heard the motorcycle in their driveway again. Waking up, she looked over towards their clock and realized it as 3:00pm. Anna was mentally, and physicall exhuasted from this morning. She wanted to take a shower, but hearing the movement from downstairs, and hearing the sound of Adam ’s voice, the brunette sighed and didn’t say anything. She laid in bed not wanting to move, Anna just didn’t even want to do anything for the rest of the day and she really didn’t even want to talk about this anymore. Closing her eyes again, Anna wasn’t going back to sleep but she was resting them.

Adam: Anna wasn’t in the living room, and Adam had only assumed that she was upstairs. He didn’t know if he was ready to face her over this yet, considering he spent most of his time just now at his mother’s place, breaking down over the fact that once again, the IVF didn’t work and Anna wasn’t pregnant. Heading up the stairs, Adam walked into their bedroom, pulling his shirt off to gather things to take a shower himself.

Anna: Hearing the bedroom door open, Anna woke up again but still laid there. Taking a breath, she watched as he took of his shirt “Hi.” Was all she could say, and then cleared her throat “How was, how was your ride?” Anna asked quietly, and chewed her lips “Where’d you go?”

Adam: “Fine.” He says, shaking his head. Grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a new black tank top, he didn’t say anything else and walked into the bathroom instead. Putting his things down, he reached into the shower to turn the water on.

Anna: Anna couldn’t tell if he was upset with her, or the situation. Taking a breath, the brunette sat up in bed and checked her phone for a few moments. The women heard the shower turn on, and Anna walked toward the bathroom. Standing in the door frame, she folded her arms across her chest and sighed “Adam.., please talk to me. Please don’t.., please don’t push me away okay..”

Adam: “Why should I talk to you? You know, maybe Aubrey is right after all.” He snaps, but it’s not intentionally. However, she /was/ right. They couldn’t talk to each other about this without making one another upset, and the whole thing had bothered Adam more than he could even explain. Clearing his throat, Adam grabbed a towel and put it on the counter with his things before taking his shorts and boxers off to step into the shower.

Anna: Getting all choked up now, Anna closed her eyes when he snapped again. Maybe she should just leave him be for the rest of the day. Taking a breath, Anna watched him move around in the bathroom without saying anything. Opening her mouth to speak now, Anna got all choked up “Talk to me…,please” Anna begged, she knew that before she didn’t want to talk but figured now was the time.

Adam: “No. I’m not in the mood.” Adam says. He shakes his head and finally opens the shower door to step in, closing it behind him. As the stream of water starts to fall over him, Adam is silent for a few moments, letting out a heavy breath as he runs his hands through his hair.

Anna: Shaking her head to herself as he stepped into the shower, Anna walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Getting a thing of wine, and a wine glass, Anna poured herself one which probably wasn’t a good idea but at this point Anna didn’t care. He wasn’t going to talk to her, and she wasn’t going to force him. Anna sat on the couch, her keens pulled up to her chest and she downed that glass of wine.

Adam: It had been about fifteen minutes, but after finally calming down in the shower, Adam finished up in the bathroom. He got cleaned up and changed into the new pair of boxers and sweatpants that he had, as well as the new black tank top he grabbed from his dresser. After he cleaned up the dirty clothes and took a breath of his own, he went downstairs. While making his way to the kitchen, he spotted the wine glass on the living room table out of the corner of his eye. Staring at it, he stopped and then his eyes moved up to stare at Anna. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Anna: Hearing him come down the stairs, Anna sat on the couch holding her knees up to her chest. Hearing him talk, Anna looked a him and shook her head “I’m allowed to have one glass of wine Adam.” She said, trying not to get upset anymore. Taking a breath, a million thoughts went into her head again and Anna was staring into space. “Are you going to talk to me, or are you going to ignore me for the rest of the day?” Anna questioned

Adam: “We just fucking got home from the appointment a few hours ago!” He snapped once more. He knew that potentially it wasn’t a bad thing, but the fact that she had done it after finally getting used to the effects of all the medicines that she had to take for the procedure bothered him. Staring at her again, he shook his head. “I don’t wanna talk to you. Talk to your wine.” He mumbles.

Anna: As he snaps at her again, Anna sat up straighter and looked at him. She was tired of him snapping at her, and not talking to her instead. Maybe Aubrey was right, maybe they did need to go see a therapist. Taking a breath, Anna got choked up and shook her head “You’re pissed of I get it, you’re angry and so am I. It’s my fault though okay? I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry that I can’t give us what we want, and if, if you still want this with me then please …. , please think about looking into adoption with me because I don’t know if I can do another round of IVF if it isn’t going to work.”

Adam: “Stop!” Adam says. “What don’t you get about me saying I don’t wanna talk to you? I don’t wanna talk to you, I don’t wanna talk about this. Just leave it the fuck alone. You’re not pregnant, you said it yourself. Just fucking stop.” He turns his back to continue to make his way into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

Anna: Anna sits there, and she feels the tears filling up in her eyes again. When he walks into the kitchen, Anna walks back upstairs and changes into jeans and a t-shirt. Grabbing her sweatshirt, Anna comes down stairs and walks into the kitchen. “I’m gonna see if I can stay at Rebels tonight, I can’t.. if you won’t talk to me then I can’t..” Stopping herself, Anna bit down hard on her tongue and she felt the tears fall down her face. Shaking her head, Anna swallowed hard and looked at him “I just.., maybe you need a night to yourself.”

Adam: “Great. Run away.” Adam says, shaking his head once more. His tone of voice is hoarse, because he doesn’t want her to leave but he’s finding it hard to figure out the words to say to her about this. He opens the fridge and stands in front of it, hiding the fact that tears were filling up in his eyes. “Do whatever you want…”

Anna: She’s standing there hoping he’d turn around, and say something else. Hoping he’d tell her not to go, to stay home. When he tells her to run away, Anna’s lips were quivering and she pushed her hair back behind her ears “I don’t know what else to do. You won’t talk to me. You don’t want to talk to me.”

Adam: With the intention of only coming into the kitchen for a water, the tears in Adam’s eyes are steadily falling down his face now as he closes the fridge and has a bottle of beer in his hand instead. Using the bottle opener to open it, he shakes his head and walks past her. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Anna: “So then maybe we should just.., ” Stopping herself, she noticed the beer in his hand and Anna shook her head. “Maybe we should just be apart tonight, because if you can’t talk to me about this, tell me how you’re feeling about this, about me then we should just be alone tonight.” Anna said, not really wanting that. The brunette just wanted him to hold her, and tell her that everything will be okay and that it wasn’t her fault. Chewing her lips, she stood there and now held her arms

Adam: Swinging down a majority of the beer already as he sits down on the couch, the tears are still falling down his face. Placing the bottle on the table, his emotions are finally catching up with him and Anna’s words are just now slicing through him the way that he didn’t want them to. “Everyone leaves me—so I don’t see why this is any different.” He mutters.

Anna: Following him into the living room, she sits down on the couch next to him and watches him take a swing at the beer. Shaking her head at his words, she sees the tears falling down her face and Anna scoots in closer to him. “Adam I love you, more than anything. I’m not going to leave you.., you just won’t talk to me and I don’t know what to do.” Anna whispers, all choked up and then looked at him with tears in her eyes still “If you hate me I get it, if you hate me because of this I get it. I…, I’m having trouble giving us what we want and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Anna said, now holding his face, she kissed him softly and pressed her forehead against his “I’m sorry. ” She whispered, it wasn’t her fault but back in her mind Anna still thinks that it is.

Adam: “I don’t wanna talk about it…” Finally, for the second time that day but for the first time in front of Anna, sob after sob falls from Adam’s mouth as he looks away from her and down at his lap, shaking his head. “I don’t hate you. I just…I just don’t understand why nothing is working…”

Anna: As Anna held his face in her hands, she heard him sobbing and Anna kissed his cheek and cried with him “I know I’m sorry. I don’t know either. I know it’s because of me, and because of my hostile vagina.” Anna said, trying not to joke but continued to kiss his cheek. “I’m sorry.” She whispered once more, and then continued to cry with him.

Adam: “I don’t hate you. Don’t ever say that again…” Adam says, shaking his head as tears continue to fall down his face. “I’m in love with you. If you think this is gonna make me hate you, then you’re…you’re wrong.” He shakes his head, frowning as she kisses his cheek and he continues to cry. “We…we’ve tried everything…”

Anna: Anna’s eyes were just filled with water, she held onto him and let him talk. Kissing him softly now, Anna buries her face into his neck and cries softly ‘I’m in love with you too, and I’m sorry.“ Anna whispered again, and took a breath "I know” She said, all choked up “I wanna have babies with you, I want a family but if we can’t do that through sex and IVF then maybe.., maybe adoption or through a surrogate Adam.” She said one more time, and then looked at him “Unless, unless you want to give IVF one last try…”

Adam: As she keeps apologizing to him, Adam can’t help but to continue letting sobs fall from his throat. He didn’t want to hear her keep apologizing, because even though she had continued to say that it was her fault, it wasn’t. He looks away from her and down at his lap, sniffling after he kisses her back. He brings his hand up to rub at his eyes, then shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know,” He whispers.

Anna: Anna looked at him, she looked at him because she knew he wasn’t 100% on the whole adoption thing. Taking a breath, Anna wiped her eyes and swallowed hard. She was mentally exhausted today, sleeping didn’t help. Chewing her lips, Anna held his face and kissed him deeply “I love you” She whispered, and kissed him once more. Cuddling with him now, Anna rested her head on his shoulder and played with his hands.

Adam: Adam had never had to think about adoption. While he understood the prospect of it and completely adored what it did for kids who didn’t have families, he just didn’t know why he wasn’t completely on board to try looking into it with Anna. As he sat there on the couch and kissed her back both times, he sighs. “I love you too.” For a moment he looks between her and the bottle of beer on the table, and then reaches for it. “I think you had the right idea.”

#&*para's #&**be alright #&*adam levine #&*anam #{cause i got issues;you got em too}#{fucked around and got attached to you}#{i like me better when im with you}#{come back to me; always}#tw: drinking #tw: failed ivf #tw: infertility

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incessantwhine · 3 years ago

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ohhh me a month ago is such a liar. don’t know what kind of confidence bout I was on but literally none of those insecurities went away. WRONG Lola is right here u fuckin brussel sprout

literally criiieeeddd (real tears!! LMFAO) on my bday because they accidentally sent me something meant for a friend abt a girl theyre crushing on or w/e. long story short shes a hot porn star (obv) who’s my age and 10000x prettier and everything im…not. huge yiddies. nice ass. tats out the wazoo. and ofc a pretty face (if ur into European beauty standards). you know. everything that decrepit wretched disordered part of me would still kill someone to look like. if i was a guy or if she was it would be different I guess but it feels like im so close yet so far.

like, i get it. im a client and it would b weird for lots of reasons to be attracted to me. the things that are said and done are j to get me to continue to spend money cause like…get ur bag, all those cap placements make u a great business person. not much concern for me on a personal level so much as it is means to an end. it’s just acting. playing a part or w/e. ik that. i went into this situation knowing that. I understand i get pretty carefully selected bits and bobs of info abt ur life in order to make me feel like ik u “closely” or im somehow more special because that’s just more reason for an emotional and financial investment. im not fkn stupid. that’s like the whole point. i dont feel icky about that because im aware im being played and engage anyway. that’s my choice. “if ur gonna be stupid u better be tough”

but like. to have the point viciously hammered home for no reason?? on my bday?? fkn OUCH, dude. it’s not even that I’m THAT insecure. im funny. i give good gifts. im smart-ish and im enthusiastic about learning new stuff and growing. i have my finances in order and I compensate for their work pretty nicely i think. im loyal af. i care a lot but i also am really respectful and mindful of boundaries. idk. I have stuff about me that makes me rly proud. just…my appearance isn’t one of them. it’s one of the only things I do feel rly inadequate in. I don’t photograph well. and I can’t change it beyond losing weight and makeup rly. which can only do so much. that’s what hurts, that i just am doomed to be a little ugly for the rest of my life. so ofc that’s what it had to be about, right??

just so very tired of this. it’s 1 step forward 2 steps back w/ self esteem, always. im frustrated it’s still so fragile when I feel like I should be beyond this. makes me rly bitter. and resentful.

and ik im overreacting too. ik this is not a normal way to feel and that’s equally as frustrating. this has nothing to do with me, literally. it wasn’t even my business nor should it be. im upset rn bc…what, I accidentally found out im not their type? LMFAO could it get any more pathetic than that? i already knew that. 2+2=4. doesn’t take a fkn genius. so my feelings are hurt bc…im confronted with physical evidence of a reality I was already aware of??? how does THAT make sense???

maybe I should just quit while im ahead. it was fun while it lasted, yadda yadda yadda. make up some bs. but if I do that it’ll be super obvious why (not that they’re thinking about me that deeply) and then just feels also like admitting defeat. like I got into something and then ran away cause my feelings got a little hurt. it’s cowardly behavior to back out now. but idk. im so sick of making people so important and such a priority in my head knowing full well that it won’t or can’t be mutual and doing it anyway. i put myself forth as this laid back chill girl who doesn’t ask for much and causes no drama and is super flexible and soooo unbothered by everythinf and im…not that way at my core I don’t think. it’s like I make my own misery. and for what? cause it gets me horny in the right context? is that worth it??

idk. once again feeling betrayed by New York and myself. never should have gone and been invested in this person. I knew it was a bad choice in my gut; in the long run. was just ignoring it. was just thinking with my dick.

cant even talk abt any of this w/ them because it’s not their job. they’re not my fkn therapist and my feelings are not their problem, period. it would be goofy behavior to make it so. add that to the list of things im resentful about too while im being a bitter hag anyway.

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rieamy · 3 years ago

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Dear fucking diary,

Da la years ago kene potong jalan. And now kene entah, just berbual. Idk why am i even sad. Im crying rn at work 💀😂. It is what it is. If it’s not good for me then, ok. Redha. Whats the purpose of us crossing paths again after 5 years just to part ways this way. It’s just unnecessary. I dont even know why is it painful 💀💀💀. Despite us being different, the calmness & feelings i felt is the same as when i was talking to Adil. Something so similar, feels good, safe & comfortable. Wish he didn’t hit me up tbh then maybe I’ll still be okay. People from the past should just stay in the past. I hate this so so much. The sadness, the anger. Something good, abeh just buang gitu je. Im tired ah honestly. I don’t deserve this, i really don’t. Really dont wanna maki but kimak im a good person sial. Idk why shit like this always happen to me. I never did any guy dirty. Im always the fucking scapegoat. Do you have any idea how buruk it is to cry at work. Mata da merah gila, mask basah pasal hingus. Fuck this shit man. Every time i have something good with someone always kene taik ah. Kimak i hate to be syaiidah nafisah kau faham tak???!!! I dont even wish to be myself at this moment. I just want whatever i feel towards Sufi just fucking disappear. U know im upset af when i have to go on tumblr and type this shit down. My first entry this year had to be about something I thought would be good ended up shit. Soooo fuckkkkkkk thiiissss shit 💀😂 HAHAHAHAHHA hais. Im a clown cuz im a fucking joke

I hate myself for this. I shouldn’t even feel this hurt but i am.

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woozi · 3 years ago

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henlo yza <3 ,

hdjdkd i don't really have much knowledge abt different techniques & kind of dances so when the steps match the lyrics i'm like '!!! wow yes i love it' fhdjdjskks also bc i've grown up watching these kind of dances only so my that's what i tend to notice first hdjdjddk it is also one of the reason why i decided to stan svt dwc, oh my, thanks & our dawn is hotter than day's choreo details really impressed me.

maybe vincenzo is your svt club & ur so valid for that <3 hddjdjekek also pls don't say sorry!! you can talk abt it as much as you want i like knowing what you think. i'll let you know how was it for me when i complete it. & no homecha hasn't ended yet (idk if there are 16 or 14 eps i haven't checked) it does come on weekends, counting this sunday's ep, we're at 12th rn.

i get that fjdjdkkd i used to be the same 😭 always waiting for dramas to end so i can binge watch because not knowing what happens next would kill me. but idk when this happened, my will to watch anything died down bc the eps are just there, available for me to watch anytime. im like 'i'll watch it next time' but next time never comes 💀. this year i've watched no-air ones only hdjssj very surprising for me ( also my wack memory & svt content supports me by forgetting abt it after weekend ends dhdjdkkd) anyway i'm very excited to see how you like homecha!

CHURCH BOY JOSH HDHDJDDKKSLSDJ church boy josh, cringe domestic boy, joshua numbers. we've come up with so many nicknames for him in few asks only 😭😭 dbdjksksk deserve actually. BUT SO TRUE I STILL HAVE NO WORDS FOR HIM. THAT WAS- JUST- WOW OKAY WE SEE YOU 😭😭and dino lip piercing and hoshi eyebrow slit..... so sexy of them. cb concept pictures haven't come out yet & they're already shinning!! love to see that. also now we have gyu and hoshi's wedding reception pictures & cottagecore hannie (with that collarbone picture right in middle >:( wth mister but also hbd ig <3) being added in the equation.

IM CRYINGGGGGG THEY LOOK SO CUTE THEY ARE SO CUTE NOO 😭😭💔 HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THESE COVERS WTH (being the ex-directioner and all dhdjkdsksk). I SMILED SO WIDE WATCHING THEM <///3 it's been so long since i heard one thing wow lol. but! this means they know who zayn is. thank you for this jdjssk this is going to keep me happy for some time hdjdke. SUNDAY MORNING EHJEJEKE 😭 thank you <3 dndjdj

IKR???? IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CB I'M ALSO EXCITED TO EXPERIENCE IT WITH YOU. agreee truly bless svt for helping keeping us from losing it over life (by making us lose it over them) tbh sometimes it worries me too with the way contents keep dropping but just now in these unit interviews being released, perf unit shared how they have ppl who encourage them to be okay with their tiredness. things like that put me at ease. hope they rest well from time to time too. honestly just looking at their tour schedules i used to get tired because these dudes used to have more shows and less day offs and some of them being used to just move from one city to another. i hope in coming years pledis changes that lol.

sameee for the poster release hdjdkeek. also even though there was scheduler, i forgot abt the concept trailer 😭 it was raining & bcoz of that power was out as well & i don't use data dhdjdkdk. i think 5 minutes after 12 kst power came back (you can say joshu's sparkler brought it back hdjdjdks) it literally left me speechless. yk that meme ' everyone remembers what they were doing & where they were when it happened ' that's me & you with this cb hfjdkd honestly that's everyone with this cb me thinks.

seventeenies bringing the grass to you w their posts djdjkd ( btw you can always tell me if silly little jokes get out of hand i wouldn't ever like to make you uncomfy) but seriously i hope uni doesn't give you hard time. don't worry much just keep moving forward, at some point whatever is making you feel stuck will move away eventually.

is it that obvious? 😭😭😭😭 no i don't like rain at all dhjddk (i actually didn't dislike it as much during teens) mostly because road drainage system sucks here & we live in lower area so even moderate rain causes water logging. i'd give you some rain but this one's bad so i won't </3 ( as if i could if it were the good one 💀) stay hydrated!!! drink two sips of water everytime you hear dino laugh, i hope it cools a little soon.

that's what being on tumblr since 2012 does to you 😭 ALSO UR SO FUNNY PLS, SO ARE THE MEMES YOU USE FOR ASKS DJDJDKD. *hands you bunny headband dino* it's dangerous outside take this, you too stay safe out there 😭😭😭😭 love you too <3 and thank YOU for hanging out w me hehe :3, also dw tbh these asks have become one of the highlights for me now & i'm only using my free time excluding resting time, i hope you are too, no pressure at all! dw about being late - 🪂

ps - did i tell you i actually followed your svt blog around the time everyone was guessing your biases hddjkddj i sent mingyu & jeonghan dhdjdj that was my first ask :3 - 🪂

henlo, 🪂!! <3 <3 <3

honestly it doesnt matter to me tbh <3 if people enjoy the dance its all that matters!! and omg i can see that!! i love the svteenies always bring something fresh to the table

omg that means you're near the end 😭😭😭 i keep seeing gifs of it on my dash and it makes me feel a lil lovesick ngl HJFHJFHD why is it so TENDER????????????????

ok but that's so valid too bc that's me rn with in the soop.... i literally have not watched the 6th ep yet 😭 and i'm getting the feeling youre mentioning w swf now because i literally always look forward to tuesdays just for the next ep HJDHJDS also i am dumb what are no-airs HJDHJDHHD and ur not alone tbh <3 i have also been super forgetful lately and that is not like me fdhjdfjhdfhjdfhj we're rotting in this hellsite ig

love bullying him i just wanna know how he'd react if he gets upset <3 i dont think we've ever seen angry josh and i wanna make him angry sm HSDHJSDJ im glossing over dino lip piercing to directly go over hOSHI EYEBROW SLIT BC HELLO??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ive never really liked eyebrow slits but he makes them look so- i want him to hurt me HJDSHJDHJDS ALSO THE LATEST SET OF PHOTOS OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD they're giving me what i've been asking for i love being here sm <3 soonyoung's so chummy w everyone have u seen his photos w jihoon last night 😭 he's literally tamed the actual tiger icb this. and no oh my god i do not Know what Collarbone Jeonghan is i have erased him from my memories thank u

HDSHDSJDSHJDS the ex-directioner is so funny to me 😭 i think we have all been there one way or another <3 and ofc omg <3 i'm glad my core svt memories make u happy HSDJHJDFHJHJDSF

they literally said escapism hELP ME 😭😭😭😭😭 i think they're also just workaholics in general. i would be too if i actually enjoyed what i did for a living 😭 and are we even gonna get tours in the near future.... this is so sad i havent even seen them irl </3

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OMG that's terrible, i hope u guys were okay though :/ AND NOT THE JOSH SPARKLER FDDHJFHDFHJFDHFDH now i have to think about him oh my god i think i passed out a little when eyebrow piercing josh came on screen and just full on blacked out when the match scene came on tbh 😭 JKSDJKDSKDS ITS LIKE THE PANDEMIC!!!!!!! WE WILL RMB!!!!!!!!!

ALSOO NOOO OMG i dont feel uncomf at all and u should also tell me if i do make u feel so <3 thank u for even mentioning that!! also love that they're Doing It All for us we dont even have to go out to touch grass anymore HJDSHJSDJ i've actually been v happy w uni omg!! just that i often feel stressed bc they give us sm things to do </3 thank u for ur kind words!!

that's the price of being an adult JDJSJKD now we gotta think of things like.. idk the effects of rain 😭😭😭 i used to even love it when it flooded as a kid HJDSHJSDHJ now i get anxious too!! i love all kinds of rain though so i wont mind JKKSDKJSDKJD just that other people might be affected </3 wish i had my own rain cloud on some kind of leash lmao. ALSO IF I DRINK WATER EVERY TIME I HEAR DINO LAUGH FDHFDHJDFHD gonna be bloated but hydrated af ngl

oh my gOD YOU WERE HERE SINCE 2012???? we're literally sick bestie <3 i genuinely think tumblr has changed something fundamental in me and my way of thinking has not been The Same as idk.. regular people ig JDSHJSDHJSD THE OFFLINE PEOPLE!! smth about tumblr is so <3 sick but also i love this hellsite so 😗 AND NOOO NOT THE MEMES FDHDFHJDF its my broken sense of humor and inability to convey emotions properly HHSDHJDSHJ

BUNNY HEADBAND DINO?????????????????????????????????????? honestly he'd bring me more harm than protection i'll say that much 😭

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that genuinely made me feel so warm & fuzzy, i always look forward to your messages too <3 <3 <3 i hope u always have good days u deserve it for being such a sweetheart

WAIT HELLO???????????????????????? YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG THEN 😭😭😭😭😭 and im so impressed you didnt get weeded out ngl HFDHJFDHJFD icb you've been witnessing me going more ill everyday <3 ur a soldier

and u are partially correct abt mingyu & jh <3 at least during the time JSDJDSJKSDJK i think i've been desensitized to mingyu now but i still love him sm <3 he's just so cute and cutesy boys kinda infuriate me in an affectionate way so HJSDHJDSHJDSH

#🪂 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

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survivormetaverse · 4 years ago

Text

Episode 12 - "i'm baaaaaacckkkkk 😈" ~Jodi

An iconic moment happened today and I accidentally voted my closest ally out of the game. So Brayden got sent home and he is going to hate me when he finds out what happened. I did kind of get him out on accident I did not mean for Brayden to go I wanted Jay gone but I was blindsided by Colin and Josh and Elle AND AMY!!??]£[_[3 Omg. Im really upset that hes gone i miss him so much and I dont know how Im gonna go on without his brain. I dont trust Jay but Jared and Jay were both messaging me about how they already forgive me and stuff so thats a little crazy. I think it could be fake or they are just desperate for numbers. But I am with Josh and Amy and Colin and Elle now. I want to be with their numbers. I talked to all of them individually and they said they all were sorry for lying to me and causing me to get my friend out. I know its just a game but I just feel awful and so guilty right now. This has probably been the worst day of my life. He probably will never play another org with me again and hes the only reason i play orgs its boring without him. We are best friends increal life and I hope he can forgive me. I havent said anything to him because thats breaking the rules. But when he finds out im literally so scared of what he'll say to me. I pray he will forgive me I am literally so dumb af.

i'm baaaaaacckkkkk..................... 😈

This is literally worst case right now with jodi winning the play back like throughout the day she has won back her allies including anastasia since she swapped coins with her. Elle, colin, and josh all gave me all their coins to grab immunity before the other side to protect me but also it makes me a bigger target lol plus I gave elle some swapped to get the second thing the leftover because I THOUGHT it could give us an extra vote since that was ony menu but I was tired and drunk and it was a LOT of words and it was just the hunts which I knew didn't have any and I feel terrible bc 150 tokens and my actual alliance is going to be so mad when they realize THAT I HAVE THE LAST ONES and fucked up in suggesting it at all. First they were going for info. So now I think Jodi got all the other sides tokens and they are pooling for something idek. It's literally worst case like we were set to be up 5-2 or at least 4-3 and now it looks like it's 4-4 again hahaha neat. And it looks like colin is chatting with jodi again and they are making deals lol like tbh if she gets to the end I am voting for her to win I've said it many rounds. Turns out anastasia and brayden not only know each other irl they are besties so she mad mad. And Josh looks to be making deals and thinking about flipping so I am on borrowed time but tbh I never expected to make merge. I am glad I have immunity bc I physically couldn't do the challenge anywU here lol and I fucked that up too hahahaha. Good times all around. Like I want to tell them about my steal a vote to have official numbers but now they'd just be mad hahaha literally colin and I had every advantage except jared's idol now. Ahhhh idk what to do but it remains hilarious. I'm expecting Raffy to give my info in these in the market and that is no bueno ahahahaha. I am tempted to just give colin everything bc it's funny. Also jodi talked to me until 1am just trying to guilt me into being back with her I said I have to sleep goodnight like 5 times minimum. Her social game is so good that's why I think she has them all back with her and possibly josh. The problem is that I was keeping her close bc she had the info from others and from my game. I really never had a number one lol bc I was just vibing and I guess now colin is bc I flipped with him lol and I think it's hilarious he grew his army from 0 to 5 almost.

I have a suspicion colin and anastasia have actually been closely aligned this whole time and she knew everything all along. Colin sure loves giving out info haha. And apparently deals are happening all over, none of which I have made 😂

Jodi's backkkkk, wild wild wilddddd. The challenge went poorly, darn thats like 20 minutes wasted. We bought the refresh and there was nothing there 💔 that's 150 tokens wasted 😅. But! We got Amy immunity✨ and then Colin won the challenge so tbh everything's still going great lol. Wonder how we're gonna vote this round :/ we'll see how this goes! I've stopped worrying whether I'm going completely, it either happens or it doesn't 💖 xoxo, gossip girl (this is misleading I HAVE NOT SEEN THE SHOW i just know way too much about it because i have friends that did lol)

So after I voted my showmance Brayden out of the game I was left with an interesting situation. I had cried to Josh Colin and Amy that I was alone now and that my whole alliance hated me. With Jodi back in, I dont think they believe me. I literally flipped sides so I could be in their alliance because I didnt trust Jay and Jared and Jodi. But they literally lied to me about the vote and said it was nothing personal to me but they didnt tell me the plan because they wanted to see if I was lying. Which sucks for me because I then voted Brayden out :( Now that they know that im truthful they said they would work with me now. But all of them have been pretty inactive today. I talked to Amy the most and a little Colin and a little Josh. But I wasnt in their alliance. So I asked Amy if I could be added into an alliance chat since I was apperently in their alliance now. And she said sure. And they added me to a vote block. That is not an alliance group chat btw. So I was like wow thanks. But inside I was like screw this. So before this all happened, Jodi, Jay and Jared put me in a true alliance group chat. This morning I was ready to work with Colin and Josh but not anymore. Not after they put me in a vote block chat clearly saying to me that I am just a number to be used. They don't even need my vote either because Amy has an idol and Amy and Colin are safe. So I'm obviously voting with Jay, Jared, and Jodi. And I know they probably have a final three without me. They could call it something really cool like the three J's. But I called Jay and explained everything to him. (Also Jay forgave me for literally trying to get him out. He umderstands that its a game and all of my motives about not trusting him anymore.) He said he would be a hypocrite if he didnt forgive me because he told people my name in the chaos vote. So I actually think we are cool. And I told Jay that I am his number one. Which is true. He told me a lot of things about how Amy is actually really smart and stuff (I thought that girl was just a goat that I could take to the end with me) But her and colin are tight and both immune. This is bad. Basically we will go to rocks unless Elle flips to our side. Jay is giving his pitch to Elle tommarow. And maybe I will apologize to her correctly tomarow too. ALSO SPELLING THE WORD TOMARROW IS THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE. Also I took 62 minutes to complete a puzzle today so thats kind of emberassing. Anyways bye everyone this was so much fun to type omg.

Lol I woke up to a text from jodi asking if anyone was taking about votes yet and I said no because I went to sleep early bc I almost passed out from heat yesterday and had just woke up and she responded "ummmm lol...." 🤣🤣🤣 Sorry I sleep. She's in Colin's dms saying how I was legit her number one and now we can't even talk about votes. Like yeah girl we worked our asses off to get you out of the game sorry I'm not happy you are back. Also I'm still at disney world so I don't have the time for a million conversations. I know I'm going to be the Russell Hanz of the f3 /if/ I make it. So what's jury management lol like she was already pissed I voted her out and I plan to do it again. Anyway it looks like it's hilariously about to be a unanimous jay vote tonight but I am thinking we throw one vote somewhere else in case of an idol. But if jodi did get anastasia back we can't do that. Anyway lol I'm immune so whatever. Elle and Colin discussed like if it's on elle (which apparently jared proposed an alliance of 5 which included myself lol!) Then we could go to rocks and have only josh as a possibility and statistically he won't go if he is willing to go to rocks that it. All this to say I'm f7 and I want to keep my extra vote to f6 if possible so I can use the idol for fun at f5.

https://youtu.be/snpKevncc44

My quest has come to an end. I joined this game to be someone who could be there for Jodi. Jodi and I played survivor subrosa together and we both had rough experiences due to a player in the game who harassed jodi and tried to convince everyone I was misogynistic. As much as I love Survivor, I didn’t play this game to win. I played this game because Jodi told me she was playing it and I wanted to be her body guard. I wanted to be someone who could be there for her both as a number but also as an enforcer, anybody who ever dared to do anything to Jodi would’ve had to have dealt with me. Tonight, Amy and Colin have immunity, and either amy or josh or elle have an idol, so there’s no point in making any noise tonight and wasting Jared’s idol. None of those 4 trust me, and I doubt any of them like me. It is what it is, it’s best for Jodi, Jared, and Anastasia’s game to move forward without me, and it’s smart for Jared to keep his idol. Tonight, I will be voted out, and I am 100% at peace with it.

Since Elle, Josh, Amy and Colin pooled their tokens for immunity and advantage refresh, it means all the advantages and disadvantages are on our side. Plan is to send Elle a disadvantage and let Colin know because honestly it’s not hard to find out anyways. Jay doesn’t mind getting booted at some point cuz he wants to stand for me on the jury, but I don’t want to boot him right now. Obviously they won’t boot Elle, so I’m going to see if Jared will propose Anastasia. The thing right now is me/Jay/Anastasia/Jared also know next round is invisible. So I want Jay or Anastasia to send Colin and Amy disadvantages because if they’re paranoid seeing me Jared/Jay/Anastasia have advantages and they have disadvantages, they might be paranoid enough to play all their idols. I also wanted to keep Jay for this round as it’d be unanimous and something everyone can settle on. Jared wanted to do me/Jared/Josh/Amy/Colin as an alliance but has concerns about the 3 of them being in top 5 in the majority snd also Colin having his ideal f3. I told him my plan has the best shot at flushing all idols and hopefully we can either get Josh to flip or at least have Amy/Colin vulnerable at 5/6. Last thing is Jared is worried he’d be blindsided this round. I told him my plan and I said even if he wanted to flush his idol this round, next round should be ok if we all vote out Jay and the rest of them flush idols. Good to be back in the game! I genuinely believe Colin wants me as a shield at least for this round, and if I can make it through, I have a game to play.

Not everyone saying they only bought an advantage lol what about those other 70 tokens 👀👀👀 Like it must be jay unless someone is lying haha i am hoping people are just busy bc these answers I'm getting from Josh and Colin are concerning 😂 It looks like only elle and got disadvantages ☠️ I am really hoping not to be a target next round even though I know I will be haha. Next round is only 7 and I'd love to take out jodi and jared before they turn on me ☠️ especially since colin creeped on jodi's insta and it is possible they know each other from sports irl. And she was so concerned about all these pregame connections 😂 and here it was likely to deflect. Anyway I just swapped my position of having jodi do all the social work with having colin do all the social work knowing full well I'm not gonna get those end votes. I'm just trying to pull up my placement average now 😂. I hope everyone sees me as having no social game to take me to the end lol bc realistically I don't bc I don't care to put in that time this game. As I write from the pirates of the caribbean line 😂 So anyway if I'm not being lied to which I might be it looks like unanimous jay tonight but also I think the other group was talking split on jay like a 3-3-2 and I'm like wait the 2 wouldn't help. Elle are you okay with that? So I think they must have figured out I have stuff ☠️ I wonder what people REALLY bought haha okay bye

Jodi is back, not just Jodi Jodi, but player Jodi. Player Jodi thinks a LOT. When I was out, the entire time I was hoping somebody caught on that Amy flipped because they knew to put a stray vote on Colin to protect him from chaos idol, but they left Josh exposed. Why? Because Colin knew Amy was going to throw a vote on Josh. Also, Colin tied with me for closest ally and that set off an alarm too. Onto the next. So Colin won immunity, Amy bought immunity, but this could possibly be good because it means they are playing knowing they are not at risk themselves. Anastasia is voting with them this round, but she's actually working with us. She told us that the actual plan on that side is: "Jay, Jared, Jodi vote elle and Elle, Amy, Colin vote Jay and Josh and Anastasia vote Jodi" Anastasia will vote me here to continue "working" with them for the next vote. Essentially, they thought that Jay had the merge idol this whole time and Colin was weary about it, and that's why he got nervous about sending out Jay last round. That told me Colin did not have the merge idol. Josh came to me too about Jay having the merge idol. But the way they're splitting the votes this round shows me now that somebody has stepped forward to mention they have it (likely Elle) because if Jay idoled, Elle goes in this split vote plan. Therefore, somebody must've been like "ok let's just be safe and split the votes, I have the other idol". That's good and bad because now Colin has no merge idol paranoia, and they're also able to use it together. It also did confirm to me they've talked about it. Here's where things get tricky. Player Jodi is so tempted to run with it and do a 4-3-1 Josh-Jay-Jodi but it's so risky and could possibly destroy the long term social game, especially if they idol for Josh and Jay goes anyway (we are not idoling for him here). So instead, I'm going to use Jay's vote out to the best of my advantage. Hopefully flush an idol if possible, maybe a steal-a-vote, something. Knowing about next round being invisible is good info for us. Having this info is so key and usually I would think that immunity for a round is bigger than this but being able to plan ahead for a GAME-CHANGING twist is crucial here. My move here is to play the game through psychological distress. I have no advantages! Since they're out of tokens from buying immunity, me/Anastasia/Jared/Jay bought advantages for ourselves and also sent out disadvantages to Colin/Amy/Elle. Seeing that not only we have advantages but also them having disadvantages, they probably still feel like things will be ok because they'll just split votes or whatever and one of them needs to win immunity. But given this is an invisible round, I think Amy is honestly paranoid enough to just play her idol, hopefully Elle does too, and then between me and Jared, we'll idol for one of us. I also plan on bluffing an advantage coming back from Jury, and say something along the lines of having to survive one round before the advantage got activated. I'm going for the win, everyone, I know that if I get to the end with anybody, I have a solid shot at winning. I just need to get there and to do that, I must play an adaptable game – more than ever. PS I am holding onto Jared's idol right now. Power (temporary) feels amazing. Dw I'm giving it back....😈

this has been the most chill round in a while. which is really weird consider JODI IS BACK AND WE BLINDSIDED BRAYDEN LAST ROUND this round is turning out to be what I WANTED last round to be. everyone is talking with everyone, people are trying to disband the sides and all intermingle. it's really interesting how no one else was on board with this until after they lost majority. seems like people don't like playing from the bottom. weird huh now these bitches know how I felt >:( anyway. jodi is back. it's weird. she knows that amy flipped now and everyone is playing very carefully my ideal boot this round was either jay or josh, in that order. so when my gay ass WON IMMUNITY I immediately put out jay's name. we already have the numbers, but I also like said my piece to jodi and jared, this is yalls chance to prove to me that you're really with me and sides don't exist. the ball is in their court do i trust them? no. am I worried? no. i have immunity, the scariest thing rn is that I think Jay is voting Elle, and if Jared and Jodi are with him then that's scary, bc Jared has an idol. The ONLY people I would play my idol for is Amy and Elle, and Elle being in trouble means I might have to play my idol on her if Jay idols himself. We have enough to split, so I'm not worried, I just hope all goes according to plan. sorry my confessional is lame. its the weekend now so i have time uwu. I'll write more the next few days

So this whole token twist thing has really annoyed me. Because of me wanting to show my loyalty to my alliance, i gave away all my coins to Amy so that she could but immunity. And against my wishes, Elle wasted her coins on the “advantage” which turned out to be a dud. I wanted to get coins together to buy game info or better yet, trade coins with other people. But i was left with nothing, while all the people on the other side used their coins to buy advantages in the next immunity challenge making it even harder for me to secure my safety. Maybe this new 2 Gays and a Jared alliance might actually pan out but im tired of getting the short end of the stick with everything.

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Anastasia: She is in the middle of the two sides. They both need her for the rest of this game before a side is terminated. She is the most powerful because she is in the middle.

Jodi: Has regained a lot of her footing in this game. Is being used as a shield by the people who voted her out. The decision to vote out Jay is questionable, but she still has a lot of power thanks to the knowledge Anastasia and Jared feed her.

Colin: The head of the opposing side. Seems to not know what is really going on with Anastasia. But his allies are willing to take him to the end which is good. Needs to avoid falling into a Jodi pitfall.

Amy: Her rat behavior has been exposed, but her allies are still willing to defend her. Second in command on the Colin side. She is being handed these immunities.

Jared: Jodi’s new #1. Will probably make it to the end of this game. However, he isn’t calling the shots and is in danger of being targeted as an “easy” vote or being called a goat at the end. Needs to start taking fate in his own hands.

Elle: Lost a lot of footing because of not telling Anastasia the truth. This move caused Anastasia to go back to Jodi’s side which will hurt in the coming round. Is the next target for the Jodi side.

Jay: Died on the sword for Jodi. I am confused why they didn’t just stack 4 votes somewhere else, but it is whatever. Has basically given up.

Josh: Left out of a lot of discussions. Is on the outside of his alliances and from the opposing side. Is the most in danger of getting targeted or being a casualty of an idol.

#episode #episodes

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