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sunarinluvr · 3 years ago

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|| haikyuu boys finding you asleep on the couch after an argument ||

includes: kuroo tetsurou, miya osamu, & oikawa tooru

a/n- hello! sorry for posting so late, but this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and i was actually in the mood to finish it so i hope yall enjoy! oh and im not really sure about how i feel about it,,, might take it down later we shall see.

warnings: none ( lmk if there’s anything! )

KUROO -

last night you saw a post kuroo’s “work wife” had made on instagram with her kissing him on the cheek, and it didn’t make you feel the best, so you decided to bring it up to him the next morning. and you did, just as he was getting ready for work you talked to him about it.

you were standing in front of him filled with anger arguing about how it made you uncomfortable, “can you please listen?! i dont feel comfortable with your “work wife” kissing you?” you yelled. “Y/N it was on the cheek its not a big deal!” and to be honest you just wanted to cry.

finally, he walked past you and opened the door. “i don’t have time for this y/n, stop being so insecure! at least she wouldn’t argue over something so small!” and with that, he slammed the door and you stood there stunned. kuroo knew that he shouldn’t have said that, instant regret and guilt filled his gut.

but he already said it, he can’t do anything about it now. with a frustrated sigh, he went to work. hoping to fix everything when he gets home. you stood there speechless, as you realized you still had work so slowly you made your way to the bathroom.

after getting ready and grabbing a quick snack you were out the door with a heavy chest. once you get home, tired and feeling worse than before. you trudged to the couch and plopped down letting out a shaky sigh remembering the argument and the words he said repeating in your head.

you broke down crying, and before you knew it, the exhaustion from today took over and you were sound asleep on the couch. kuroo got home an hour later, he felt guilty and was already practicing how he’d apologize to you as he walked in.“y/n? kitten?” no answer.

he called out again, and was met with silence, he made his way over to the living room where he found you sleeping on the couch. gently walking towards you he knelt down, and saw your tear-stained face which made his heart sink. “i fucked up” he said to himself.

giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead he softly apologized and carried you to the bedroom. you ended up waking up when you felt his body weight dent the bed. “tetsu?” you said softly squinting at him. relief rushes through his body at the sound of his nickname. looking at you with guilt in his eyes

“im so sorry kitten, i shouldn’t have said that. i didn’t mean to hurt you” he said gently. at that tears started flowing again and he was quick to hug you and wipe your tears with his other hand. “it’s ok, i shouldn’t have been so insecure anyways”

he shook his head with a frown “no it’s not your fault ok? i didn’t mean anything i said. i love you so so much and i’m so lucky that you’re mine” you look up at him and gave him a small smile “okay” before cuddling closer to him. giving you a soft kiss on the lips he hugged you tighter as you both fell asleep.

OSAMU -

osamu was just having a horrible day, his head was pounding and the customers he had to deal with today were just plain rude. then he had to do most of the work since one of his employees called in sick, and for some reason, everything just annoyed him.

you on the other hand did not know about his day at all and thought it would be nice of you to make a surprise visit. walking in with a huge smile on your face stopping midway when you realize he wasn’t at the counter. “where’s samu?” you asked sweetly to the employee

“he’s in the back, i think he has a headache,” she says giving you a small smile. you can tell something was off by the way she spoke but decided to just brush it off and make your way to the back. “hi samu! surprise!” you exclaimed cheerfully as you make your way towards him

he just kind of looks at you, which you thought was weird, but you decided to hug him anyways. when he doesn’t hug you back and groan, you pull away and look at him “baby i heard you had a headache. i didn’t bring any medicine, but we could eat first and i-”

you couldn’t even finish your sentence since osamu just stood up. he was infuriated and had no clue why, usually loved listening to you but today he was just annoyed. “look y/n a don’t mean ta be rude, but a don't have the energy for this right now. please just go home.” he said coldly staring right at you.

“excuse me? i came here to surprise you and this is what i get??” you said in shock, voice a little louder this time. rolling his eyes “Oh wow am so surprised! now will ya please go home? a don’t wanna argue right now!” he yelled. with tears forming in your eyes you quickly wiped them and left. osamu knew he shouldn’t have said all that, but he was too mad to run after you in front of all the customers.

you rushed home and sluggishly made your way to your room to change into something comfier, making your way to the couch, curling up into a ball allowing your tears to fall, and somehow falling asleep, after getting tired of crying. he gets home a few hours later, guilt building up in his stomach as he mentally slaps himself for the things he said.

walking into the living room he opened the lights and you were the first thing he noticed. seeing you curled up into a ball on the couch made his heart drop to his stomach. you on the other hand woke up because of the sudden change of lighting.

gradually adjusting your sight you see him and switch your gaze onto the floor when you saw him look at you too. seeing your puffy eyes he walks towards you slowly and sits beside you giving you enough space. “am sorry, a shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on ya.”

you look at him with watery eyes and his heart sinks “yea i was just trying to be nice, sorry i didn’t warn you before coming” he opened his arms and you instinctively scooted closer to him, he sighs “no a love it when you surprise me a was jus having a bad day a love ya so much ok?” finally hugging him “okay i love you too” giving you a quick kiss he offered to make you food and of course you said yes.

OIKAWA -

you love oikawa, and you’re very supportive and understanding especially when it comes to his career. but he has an awful habit of overworking himself and as much as you love him you can't bear the fact that you couldn’t even see him anymore.

he goes home late at night -as in you’re already sound asleep late- and when you do stay up to see him, he’s too tired to even keep a conversation. then the next morning he’s gone before you could even wake up. you’ve spoken to him about this many times, but alas nothing changed.

you woke up to an empty bed as usual, but today was different though, you’ve planned a dinner for about 2 weeks now. you were very excited because it’s been so long since you both spent some quality time together and he promised to come home early.

getting up you send him a little text reminding him of your dinner tonight, with a smile you head on over to the bathroom to get ready for work. once work was over you made a quick visit to the grocery store to buy the ingredients you’ll need to make tonight’s dinner.

quietly humming to yourself while going through each aisle, and double-checking your list to make sure you’re not missing anything while checking your phone here and there. oikawa still hasn’t replied “he must be busy,” you say to yourself as you send him another text about the dinner just in case. after about 30 minutes you get home rushing since it was already late, and immediately getting started on dinner.

once you're done you sat down and waited, and waited, and waited. it's been 4 hours. dinners cold and still no sign of your boyfriend. you decided to call him pissed off that he couldn’t even show up to one dinner, “hello? y/n i can't talk right now i still need to practice”

he said as soon as he picked up. “tooru? did you get my texts? what about dinner, we’ve made plans for this 2 weeks prior! i even-” you were cut off “look just eat without me ok? we can eat again somet-” now it was your turn to cut him off.

“oikawa tooru, you leave the house while i’m asleep and come back when i'm asleep. i just wanted to spend time with you..whatever good luck at practice,” you replied as you hang up. his heart sank when he heard the crack in your voice rushing to his car on his way home to you because he knows he fucked up.

buying your favorite flowers for you on the way home cursing himself and the world for making it traffic at that exact moment. when he got home the first thing he saw was the food and you fast asleep on the couch. he felt a pang of guilt about being late.

“y/n chan?” he said while gently waking you up. you stare at him with red puffy eyes and he hugged you giving you the flowers “im sorry baby, i should’ve prioritized you and our dinner. i promise ill do better” you saw how genuine he was being so you accepted the flowers and hugged him tighter as he offered to reheat the food you made.

reblogs are highly appreciated!

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windwardstar · 10 months ago

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Waves in "I'm one of those non-male T voices!" (Transmasc yes, trans man no)

I have a "male voice" only in the sense of binary reductivist thinking where the only two options are male or female and we're talking in the specific context of choral voice parts.

Mind you, I haven't done any voice training to sound like a man because as mentioned above I'm not a man. I'm a bee. But like. Let's be real. Most cis people in the real world will categorize people post puberty into either a "male voice" or "female voice" and despite having a clear T voice, I do not have a "male" voice.

This is especially obvious to me because despite being nearly two years on T... I've had people assume I'm a guy based on my voice alone...3 times? (Except, when people know I'm trans, they assume im transfemme unless specifically told I'm transmasc. Part is my voice, part is that i have long hair and a feminine name? Idk.)

But I'm not registering as "cis male" on anyone's radar based on my voice alone.

What I have gotten is told I sound like a duck.

Or a goose.

Or like I'm sick.

Because pitch isn't what people hear when they hear my voice, it's the vocal fry. I've got that raspy voice you see in people who had coughs as babies.

(This is super evident when I am in choir sitting with the tenors and positioning myself so that I'm not on the edge of the section so there's no confusion about which section I am meant to be in, and people still assume I am an alto. Because they see and hear me and my voice is not obviously low enough to them to be a tenor and definitely does not read as male to them.)

There's a marked difference in the quality of my voice vs the other tenors, including with the lady tenors who either during puberty or menopause ended up with naturally low voices. This is because the way T worked on my body.

The way T lowers your voice is that it causes your vocal chords to swell up with fluid which makes them larger and longer and then it just stays that way after a bit. This happens regardless of what your bones and cartilage are doing. In people who are still growing, the rest of the voice box can grow too in a way that accommodates the increase in size. In people who aren't, it doesn't happen and they now have larger vocal cords in a voice box that was designed for smaller ones.

Most of the time this isn't really too big a deal and things settle down without too much fuss. Sometimes it causes vocal entrapment where the vocal chords refuse to close properly because there's just not enough room for them to vibrate freely or to lay flat against each other.

This is also what causes vocal fry/the really scratchy quality in a lot of T voices. It's also why even absent the regular run of the mill fear mongering about testosterone, you see people claiming t will destroy your voice.

It's the dominate quality of my voice.

Other quality changes to my singing voice include reduced endurance (my voice gets tired so much quicker), less flexibility and control within my range, and reduced volume (I am stuck on quiet because when I get loud my voice breaks). It also just plain takes more air/effort to make sound come out in the first place so I run out of air so quickly, and sometimes sound just doesn't want to come out. All of these things have improved drastically in the past year and a half and will continue to do so.

But they're also all reasons why I get told I sound like a duck and why people say T ruins your voice. Because it is everything people fear monger about T doing to your voice.

And I love every bit of these qualities about my voice because my voice finally sounds like me. And when I hear myself speak or sing I love the way I sound. It is pure euphoria for me, a joy I wouldn't trade back for all the clarity and control and range I had pre-t because that voice was too dysphoric for me.

I'd love to see more love for voices like mine. I'd love to see the T voice aspects celebrated. And I'd really love it if that could happen without people having to shove it into another binary box.

Songs sung in T voices? You mean just regular male voices because trans men are men

imagine being so miserable that you see a post about trans joy and pride in transmasculinity and the first thing you think is “i’m going to find a way to see this as transphobia instead”.

i have a t voice. my voice is distinctly different from most cis men’s voices in a way that a lot of other trans people’s voices are distinctly different after being on t. a lot of us have voices with a unique quality to them. the claim that me, a trans man with a t voice, talking about voices like mine somehow implies that my own gender isn’t real…is just fucking wild, honestly.

i think t voices are BEAUTIFUL. i love them so much, having my own voice sound like that was genuinely one of the things i was the most excited about when i started t because to me, that voice is the kind i heard when i watched videos made by other trans guys that taught me about what was possible for me and met other trans guys irl for the first time and got advice on transitioning or just life from them. it’s such a comforting sound and so important to me.

nothing about recognizing that distinctive quality implies that trans men aren’t real men. i have a t voice just like i have a deep voice, a quiet voice, a tonally expressive voice — it’s just a descriptor for one of many things that can make a voice unique. my voice is a “male voice” and it’s also a t voice because i’m a man whose voice has been affected by going on t in a distinctive way. the two aren’t in any way at odds with each other.

if i described my chest as a post-op chest, would you come into my inbox saying “you mean just a regular male chest?” i have a feeling you probably wouldn’t because on some level, even you get that talking about unique parts of living in a trans body doesn’t invalidate who we are. it’s fine if you personally wouldn’t want to describe your voice that way because it makes you dysphoric or isn’t applicable to your voice or isn’t as meaningful to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s morally incorrect for me to do so.

trans bodies are wonderful. visible (or in this case, audible) transness is wonderful. it’s not a bad thing to have features that are distinctively trans, and having those features doesn’t make you less of a man. we don’t have to reject our transness or be exactly like cis men to be real men because cis manhood isn’t the gold standard, it’s just one of many ways to be a man.

(also, not everyone who goes on t is a trans man, so not every t voice is a male voice. it’s funny how the people who get mad at me for being proud of my t voice are always the same ones who have really gender essentialist and binaristic views on transitioning.)

so no, i don’t mean “regular male voices”, i mean fucking t voices because that was a post about unashamed in-your-face proud transmasculinity, not transmasculinity that tries to make itself indistinguishable from cis manhood. please keep your assimilationist bullshit away from my trans joy, thank you very much.

#i really should figure out a tag for the whole singing on t and being trans in a community choir thing sonce i ramble about it a lot #although i guess since it is monday it can go in the #monday trans ramble

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iwaisuke · 4 years ago

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confessions; but not remembering it

ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader

genre: fluff

masterlist

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo

» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you

» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!

» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"

» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"

» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"

» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.

» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"

» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.

» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.

» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.

» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"

» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.

» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.

» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.

» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."

» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.

» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.

» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled

» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.

» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.

» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes

» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.

» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.

» "huh? but practice is-"

» "please l/n san. for me"

» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.

» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step

» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"

» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.

» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.

» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"

» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.

» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"

» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.

» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.

» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.

» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.

» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"

» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say

» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"

» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.

» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.

» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"

» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"

» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.

» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.

» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"

» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line

» "i like you a lot too l/n san"

» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT

» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something

» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.

» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK

» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"

» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"

» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"

» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.

» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.

» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.

» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point

» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that

» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.

» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted

» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.

» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"

» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.

» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.

» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"

» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?

» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.

» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.

» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.

» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.

» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!

» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.

» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"

» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."

» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.

» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.

» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.

» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.

» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.

» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.

» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.

» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"

» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.

» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"

» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.

» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

thank you for your order! enjoy~!

#haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu fluff #yinny!drabbles #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa fluff #kita shinsuke #kita x reader #kita fluff

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whaleofatjme1920 · 3 years ago

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hii! so great to see the creepypasta fandom alive still!! i'd like to req a romantic nsfw matchup! :) i hope this is enough info

-firstly, i'm 22, she/her and bisexual but preference for men. around 5'2-5'3 and pretty pale. kinda sick looking ngl (thx anemia) and currently my hair is dyed like a silvery blonde kind of color? was more lavender ish before. my hairs pretty long (and annoying, gets tangled easily bec heat dmg), maybe bottom of rib length w sidepart/curtain bangs, and big gray eyes. i'm pretty into wearing a full face of makeup too! so eyeliner, lipstick, falsies, the whole thing. body wise, dcup committee, hip dips n thick thighs (i have a thigh tattoo as well, its a cat:))

-style wise i fluctuate constantly, but mostly i wear sweaters and neutral colors constantly. my style does tend to lean towards dark academia the most i think but i do have a softspot for more grunge inspired fashion and also pastels. you'd most likely either see me in a longsleeve and skirt or a sweater and jeans tbh

-personality type wise, i'm an intx 6w5 ! my astro stuff is aries sun, taurus moon, leo rising and gemini venus !! i was in college for library science major w classics (history) minor but dropped it and now i'm working on getting a certification for floral design.

i'm extremely opinionated and outspoken when its something i need to be vocal about, but i am first and foremost an introvert. i get extremely anxious in social situations, but sadly also have a slight temper. this leads to a bit of a confrontational attitude because letting bad situations sit just upsets me more LOL. but i do like to joke around with those close to me and i tend to ramble a lot about my special interests/new things i've learned about quite often if allowed. i can be blunt and very sarcastic usually, and to people who don't know me it comes off a bit rude? idk ALSO i am always tired, no matter how much i sleep.

-relationship wise, i am a bit clingy but not physically. i do love physical affection (preferably more so in private) but my love language is definitely quality time. even if it's just sitting together and doing a task like reading/writing or watching something. being around them makes me happy. i am pretty big on communicating thought so if theres an issue or insecurity, i will bring it up. i'm a bit of the jealous type, and vocal about boundaries in my relationship, and mutual respect is very important to me.

LIKES: i love slasher films go figure, but i'm also the biggest sucker for rom coms and historical movies (like jane austen type, not war ofc.) my music taste is anywhere from rock 2 indie n pop. (my favorite artists though are mitski, hozier, twst, and the nbhd.) baking is one of my favorite activities, and i also love comfy games (animal crossing, minecraft etc.) fall is my favorite season + i'm addicted to iced coffee and the white monster (only flavor i've ever had but extremely caffeine dependent) i love reading and writing n also photography. the sound of rain and the look of snow falling make me really happy. my comfort drink is either earlgrey tea with milk and sugar (maybe honey too) or a big cup of hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream.

(halfway through + i feel like this is TOO MUCH WRITING ALR IM SORRY)

-i dislike the ocean/lakes etc,, i'm just not fond of being in them but they're nice 2 look at. i hate bugs too LOL

AAA hope i have enough of the regular stuff but heres nsfw:

-very much a sub. i've tried to dom before and it's not for me. rough stuff is definitely up my alley!! i'm v into being choked. i love size diff to an extent (height wise) but considering my height its not that hard to be pretty much taller. breeding 4 sure. degrading is really nice but also love praise. possesive!!partners!!own my heart. i just rlly like to put my partners in a position of power also w titles bec i like having smth to call them ( uncomfortable w mommy title to a fem partner though, but daddy is open for male p ) and uHHHH yeah i think thats it. maybe marks too?? also rlly like nice hands LMFAO

thank you sososo much if you decide to answer mine whenever you're able to get around to it <3

Your matchup is… Eyeless Jack!

Read more because of NSFW :}

In general:

Everything about you seemed to match up with EJ but it’s always the kinks that solidify it lmfao. SO, let’s elaborate on why.

What he likes about you:

Physically speaking, EJ adores your eyes and your hair. They’re both so captivating and beautiful to him and he can just get lost looking at you. Your height is alo really cute to him because the dude is fucking tall, probably like 7 ft lmfao. He appreciates the aesthetics of makeup even though he doesn’t understand much about it, so your full face of makeup also lowkey fascinates him. I’ll get,,,, I’ll get into the other stuff about your body in the NSFW section. EJ just adores your sense of style as well, even when it changes around. Grunge and pastels are weak spots for him ngl. He loves your personality as well and wants to know all about floral design. He likes that you’re opinionated as well. EJ is really big on spending time together as well and he’s also pretty physically affectionate in private. I can also see EJ being into communication, because he’s just y’know, trying his best and wants you to see his best as well. All of your likes match up so well with him!! I would be here all day listing them, but just know that you and EJ match up so well in terms of your likes.

General cute things:

ALRIGHT SO, going off your likes, i don’t think EJ actually really likess war movies? He’s secretly a softie to Jane Austen stuff ngl. He likes your music choice and will y’know, listen to it with you. Is he into baking? Not really but he will absolutely eat whatever tf you make. Sometimes EJ has a bit of a sweet tooth. He’ll also cuddle with you on the couch as you play your comfy games, he’s not too big on games himself though. Just wants to spend time with you, y’know? EJ loves fall too and will go on leafy walks with you and enjoy the scents of nature. He’s such a sucker for fall too. Pumpkins, spooky stuff, all of that atmospheric stuff makes him lose his mind. He likes hot coffee but will get you iced coffees and monster. He will read with you! Just those quiet little dates y’know?? He will also teach you calligraphy, because I really do think EJ has beautiful penmanship. He will make your comfort drink for you on snowy days, and cuddle with you when the rain is falling. Just WHOLESOME stuff.

You two as a couple & NSFW:

EJ is a BIG protector. Like, huge. I have no other way of saying that. Like, the man is a bit possessive, he’s actually a lot possessive, but he’s a protector through and through. He will give you his hoodies and sweaters for you to wear if you’re ever cold! He also likes you being bathed in his scent so like,,,,,,, He understands that you’re a bit of the jealous type but lowkey so is he. So please talk with him about that. It seems like you prioritize that stuff though so like it works lmfao. He will do whatever he can to calm you down and keep you steady in social situations that might make you uncomfortable. Just wants to keep you safe. He’s also a tad confrontational? But, he’s really respectful about it. He loves to listen to you ramble and he loves to hear you talk about things you are passionate about. EJ doesn’t mind you being blunt and sarcastic either tbh. He’s exactly like that as well.

So here’s what did it. It’s literally always the kinks that do it. He adores your body. Your breasts are a favorite, your hips are a favorite, your thighs are a favorite, literally everything about you is a favorite. He likes your thigh tattoo and will trace it with his clawed fingers. Lucky for you, you cannot pay EJ to sub, he’s 1000% a dom! He will choke you with his big, clawed hands, and is very, very rough in general. He will cover you in bites and claw marks, love bites dripping down your thighs and neck. He will mark you!! EJ is 7ft tall so like, you got the size difference thing down really good here. He’s also big into breeding too lmfao like I hate bringing up the knotted dick thing again but it’s making a comeback here, he will push that thing in and just CUM. Won’t stop unless he’s filled you to your absolute brim, towering over you, growling and hissing as he ruts into you still connected. You can call him whatever, daddy, master, it’ll all make him hot and bothered. He’s good at praise and degrading, honestly degrading over praise though. EJ also has really nice hands. Overall, it’s the kinks that do it time and time again.

Closing Thoughts/Other Things:

Hi love bug, thank you so much for sending in this ask! The creepypasta fandom is still very much alive, I just like to think a lot of us grew up alongside it. You gave me a wonderful amount of info! Sometimes, people send me like a sentence and I have no idea wtf to do. The more detailed, the better, and you really came through! Furthermore, you sound really, really pretty omg? Like, I adore makeup and just don’t wear it for myself besides eyeliner (RIP my monolids) and mascara but people who wear full faces have ALL MY LOVE. It’s so beautiful. Also your tattoo sounds super cute as well! Everything about you is cute as all hell, and that’s coming from both me and EJ. EJ absolutely adores everything about you and will just LOVE YOU endlessly, and in more ways than one. ;) As always, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed!

#eyeless jack #eyeless jack headcanon #creepypasta #creepypasta matchup #matchup #nsft #conversations with a fish woman

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rueren · 4 years ago

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haikyuu boys and coffee

purely self indulgent. i have zero reason or evidence for anything 😭😭😭(didn’t do all the characters but i did as many as i could remember)

dont give them caffeine for the love of god don't do it:

HINATA ... self explanatory tbh. throw him a mini snickers n hes set for another 6 hours

BOKUTO... another self explanatory one. if he’s getting tired give him like 3 skittles and hell be fine

Terushima ... just don't im begging u please don't give him coffee. he hallucinates

NOYA ... he will bounce off of the walls dont do this to yourself him

tanaka ... honestly i think hes fine on his own but if hes with noya, they'll do something stupid like see who can handle more espresso shots before getting heart palpitations

kogenagawa ... this baby doesnt even like coffee dont let him have any im bEGGING he’ll hurl

LEV ... oh my god no please he’ll drink straight espresso thinking it’s regular n be like this is light work yall r babies then down like fOUR CUPS then think hes having a heartattack my heart 😭😭

atsumu ... thinks he can handle alot of coffee, but is def another one who will start to hallucinate

futakuchi ... i have no explanation for this sorry guys

yamaguchi ... its too bitter for him. doesn't even like it. eventually likes it when he’s older but w lots of sugar

goshiki ... very self explanatory. it’s too bitter. he tried once, bless him, bc he saw tendou constantly drinking jt but he just can’t bring himself to like it

they need an IV drip of coffee in each arm and one in their leg please they are tIRED:

AKAASHI ... self explanatory

SUGA ... he’s tired let him take a nap im BEGGING. those kids are his life force but they also suck his life force. he loves them to death

asahi ... i feel like i’m highschool he doesn’t really need it but time skip asahi chugs like 3 cups a night during fashion week

oikawa, ... self explanatory again

kenma ... he probably shouldn’t take it as much as he does because 1) he only drinks the insanely sweet ice coffees and 2) he uses it as a substitue for sleep but kuroo is convinced that kenma will one day bite his fingers off if he doesn't let him have coffee so he begrudgingly allows it

ennoshita ... he is also tired

tsukkishima ... doesn't wanna deal with anyone's shit

suna ... also doesn't wanna deal with anyone's shit.

osamu ... doesn't wanna deal with atsumu’s shit in particular

matsuwaka ... have you seen his eye bags? please daddy baby get some sleep

TENDOU ... this man inhales that shit bro you cant convince me otherwise

hanikami .. yeah it just fits tbh. he hears oikawa speak once and just downs a full cup

semi ... he’s tired of everyone’s ..,,,, everything ?? he needs a nap ok he also gets vv grouchy when he’s jetlagged dont @ me. post time skip he downs a cup or two before he gets off a plane so if there’s any fans on route that stop by he isn’t rude n grouchy to them 🥺🥺

somehow doesn't ever need coffee, they're always awake enough to function (if only barely):

daichi... he had to get used to it, dealing with all of their shit for so long.

kageyama... somehow drinks milk and is then completely fine? nobody knows how. milk literally makes you tired i- downed a pack of strawberry milkshake at a training camp and was physically buzzing from all the fructose

kuroo ... pre time skip this man has never drank a single sip of coffee once in his entire life i guarantee you. but post time skip??? cEO KUROO???? ........ yeah he still barely drinks it, but hes always got a large ass Starbucks cup on him so everyone fears him, thinking he’ll be cranky without it it was a present from kenma awh . its actually filled with water or tea of protein shake or something im crying. like can you just imagine everyone in the office scurrying to get the big ass rooster head-ass boss his cup of morning coffee bc they've seen him with this enormous ass titan of a travel mug everyday and he takes it every morning graciously, only to give it to kenma when/if he drops by through the day. pls im sCREAMING

shirabu ... thinks its gross dont ask me why. i have it drilled in my head that tendou got everyone to drink it but they pretended because they didnt wanna hurt his feelings, and nobody actually liked him.

ushijima ... the most self explanatory thing ive ever seen in my life oh my god. he read online once that it has addictive qualities and immediately went d r u g s ? ! ? ! ? ! ? tries his best to stop tendou from his “addiction”. “it’s like heroine, satori. you know, like cocaine. irl make you sick” pls my heart can’t take it

aran ... i also legit dont have a reason for this just lOOK at him

kita ... he doesnt need it dude hes fine. dont ask how, he gets a good nights sleep. literally never needs to pull all-nighters. cute baby awh i love him sm

aone... i physically mentally? can not see this man drinking coffee it doesnt work

IWAIZUMI ... honestly i dont know how he does it. he is a tired man how does he nOT DRINK IT.

#💕.k chan.hc #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu #this was completely self indulgent #inspired by the coffe on my desk i have yet to drink e #my fav hobby is making coffee #and forgetting i made it #then i go oh right my coffe #and i take a sip and its cOLD #my microwave and my coffee mug have a love hate relationship sorry guys #n e ways enjoy this while i try and work on my tendou smau

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mithliya · 3 years ago

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(tw eating disorders!) do you know any good tips on getting rid of immense body hate? i hate my body so much and it has hindered me from doing a lot things like spending time with family and friends, going outside, bathing in summer, being intimate with my partner and so on. i want to exercise but i get full blown panic attack when i try and then if i actually manage to do it i'm so tired i sleep the rest of the day. i also have very bad ibs which has made my relationship to food even worse since no mattee what i eat i bloat, get cramps/gas, feel sick and nauseous and nothing tastes good, and no doctor takes me seriously, they just see a fat lazy girl... i don't know what to do, and knowing i'm a bad feminist because all i want is to be skinny is making this even worse😞 sorry to bother you, and if this is triggering just delete it, i totally understand♥️

i think im not the best person to ask about this as i don't have many tips and i don't deal with IBS so my help in that regard would be limited. ill try anyways and hopefully people who are better qualified can jump in and provide better advice.

with the exercise, maybe start off small. try to pay attention to your thoughts and figure out why exactly exercise leads you to experiencing panic attacks. set very small and achievable goals, something that isn't scary and no big deal to you. then slowly work your way up. i like to just do those quick ab workouts on youtube and keep doing them until i feel like it has gotten easy, then trying something else. it's not necessarily the best for changing my body, but it helps me in other ways. this can also help you build up your stamina and your confidence while not pushing you too hard. personally, i felt that exercising did improve my confidence in my own body. even if my body didn't change much, i felt good about myself and felt like i was being productive and helping myself.

looking into IBS, i saw sites say that exercise can also help you with managing your symptoms. cutting out dairy, having good quality sleep, high-fiber foods, among other things also seem to help. maybe having smaller meals but eating more frequently will help make eating food more manageable and enjoyable to you? again, don't know much about this so take what i say on that w a grain of salt. im sure theres ppl w IBS on here that do offer advice and support, they may be more helpful in that regard.

i know this is also easier said than done-- but try to focus on your health over your weight. for example, think of working out as a means to achieve comfort with your body and improve your health, rather than as a means to become skinny. focusing on weight loss can lead to unhealthy habits and fixations on things that will ultimately make you stress more and help you less. think about how you could reduce the symptoms you experience with IBS (which can cause bloating and other things which can affect how your body looks; so pay attention to what you eat and how your body reacts to it so u know what to cut out) and analyse where these fears and anxieties you have come from. the more you understand yourself, the easier it is to address the problem.

also tbh this might not be relevant to you but personally, when i go on instagram and see all those perfect models without any of the things most women's bodies have, i end up feeling shit about myself and my body and wanting to hide myself. so i'd strongly recommend avoiding such things, as well as avoiding pro-ana stuff or consuming things which emphasise skinny-ness or unrealistic ideals. and avoid comparing your body to others as much as you possibly can. other people have different metabolisms, genetics, their health varies, their body type is different, etc so comparing yourself to them won't be particularly productive.

thats all i can think of, im sorry if i wasnt able to help much but i hope i at least told u Something which can be of use to u :(( i'm sorry you're going through this, its really difficult to deal with body dysmorphia.

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fizzingwizard · 3 years ago

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;______; just heard that from September we’re gonna have three students in our cluster who are under 1 year old... (5 in the school total)

aaahhh im exhausted just thinking about it

and whats crazy is in one of the classes with under 1 yos there is a kid who is between 1-2 yo and she cannot walk yet. We have been trying to help her learn and have begun wondering if there is some reason beyond her mother just didn’t really encourage her to walk before. (Like maybe she needs leg braces etc.) So far no news on that but this kid only drags her feet around, obviously she needs constant help, and there are 12 other kids in the class, two of whom are under 1 and three teachers, HOW are they supposed to do it???

and the class that will have three under 1s has two first year teachers in it, that makes me so nervous... They’re both awesome coworkers, this is no shade on them, but under 1s can be TOUGH, it’s SO easy for them to get hurt. idk it feels like an accident waiting to happen.

i’ve been at schools where 5 students was an entire class, if we’re gonna have this many under 1s we should just have a class for them, come on! I love them but they are twice the work of kids on year older than them.

Also the recommended teacher-student ration for 1-3 yos is 1:6, which we abide by, but I believe it’s actually 1:3 or 1:4 when the kids are belong 18/12 mos. Apparently the head office does not care.

These kids are not in my class, I currently teach 2-3s, however I am a long care teacher and I look after them during morning and after care. I do their nap and their snack and play time supervision etc. From 10-2 they’re part of their class, but the rest of the day they belong to all of us.

More work ranting under the cut because I guess I just need to vent to the air.

And we have a LOT of students now - two clusters of going on 30 in each, in very small classrooms where the teachers are expected to watch them like a hawk AND keep constantly busy with numerous tasks at the same time.

Plus our prep time has been cut down this year despite additional work getting put on us, and we have no extra help.

If one teacher is out sick, no one gets prep time.

Don’t remember if I whined about this before, but a month or so ago we had a meeting in which the leader said “If you find you don’t have enough prep time, that’s on you to manage your time better.” It was super condescending and annoying. I’m like, dude, my contract says I get 1 hour prep and 1 hour break. We never ever EVER get the full two hours (and I should mention this is never consecutive, it’s 15 min here, 30 min there, 1 full hour if you’re really lucky). It’s usually at most 1 hr 45. But a 30 min break is fine! I’d love to take a 30 min break. Almost never do. Way too busy.

Like, I won’t get into it, but the laundry list of Stuff To Do recently has been ENORMOUS. In my class, I have 19 students. One of my co-teachers is part time, meaning she’s not around to help during much of prep time, and the other is a leader meaning she’s constantly in meetings or doing leader assignments. They are both fantastic co-workers, but yeah, this means I do ALL the class stuff. I prepare all the crafts, I do a ton of the organizing, and I’m often the only teacher from my class available in the afternoons because part-time teacher went home and leader teacher is in a meeting. So I end up with a lot of the after care stuff.

We have to hand out these big projects that teachers are responsible for preparing for each student on 8/16. We know these are coming and prep for them as soon as possible, but like, I won’t get into this either lol, but it’s so hard. It’s time-consuming by itself, and made worse because all the school computers are crap (like takes-15-min-to-start, another 10 to open the browser, 5 to go to the website, then it freezes, then 5 more, another freeze, etc) and like you have 15 min break time hahahahaha.

I wanted to get such a head start that I just started doing what I could back in the beginning of the year but we lit can’t do the bulk of the work until a certain kind of envelope is delivered and that doesn’t come till summer for some stupid reason. Soooo our long prep days in April when there are no kids around... can we use those to prep for this project? Heck no!

Anyway. This year’s is due on 8/16. This coming week we are off for obon break. This year also, the company is doing the project slightly differently. Instead of staggering what class gives out their projects to their students when, we all have to do it at once. We are our company’s biggest school, sooo my honest thought is no one at the head office thought about us when they made this change. The other schools don’t have to stagger anyway, they have at most two classes. We have four.

So this means everyone is printing their projects at the same time. For one student, you need 10 sheets on A3 paper. For my class of 19, that is 190 sheets of paper. For four classes, we’re over 700 sheets total. THAT IS A LOT OF PAPER.

So I get to work this morning and boss says “Yeah so we’re out of A3 paper.”

!!!

IT’S DUE MONDAY.

There was a little bit left so I just charged and printed as much of my stuff as I could in the morning before anyone else could. Then, miraculously, another packet of A3 paper appeared out of nowhere, and we were able to print most of the rest of our students’ projects. (My coworker who is a leader has not printed hers yet because she is super busy and isn’t finished. Again, she’s an awesome coworker, I wish I could have helped her more, but uh, I’m also swamped and not taking breaks, so. Hopefully she can do it before we really do run out of A3 paper.)

Getting more paper is no big deal, it’s just that no one has the time, and this is due Monday.

So I was super stressed. Sooooo super stressed for such a dumbbbb reason. And I don’t understand why these projects have to go out on Monday anyway. Some kids don’t even come to school on Mondays. Like. Just make sure they get them next week, isn’t that good enough?? Why make us stress and panic.

Everyone else seemed fine though, I was the only one tearing my hair out because I’m the type who finishes everything a day early so I have a day to check it over... I am not spontaneous and I hate to rush...

I lit told my coworkers, because regardless of the paper situation we are still behind because we have not had any time to organize the projects, that I will just stay late tomorrow to do it. It’s the Friday before a break so I don’t mind too much. I am really tired tho and would of course rather just go home and sleep but. I’ve done this before. Finishing up this project will take 1.5 hours - 2 hours at the current state it’s in, IF I can just sit down and do it uninterrupted. (Have I mentioned these projects are HEAVY?? And there’s 19 of them?? It’s a big job just to take them out and start putting them together >.<)

So tomorrow evening that is what I will likely be doing -.-;

There are INNUMERABLE other STUPID parts of this project - the idea behind it is great, but the way we are required to make it is absolutely bonkers and desperately needs a revamp but does anyone listen to a preschool teacher? heck no lol

uggh.

I feel better after venting tho.

I like my job, I just wish humans in general gave a shit, not even about quality of life (since obvs that’s expecting too much lol, also as a person with privilege I’m aware I’ve already got it pretty darn good), but just about not making jobs that are ridiculous. Just plan them out better, sheesh. There’s no reason for all this running around. The projects don’t need to be printed. Or they don’t need to be so huge. They don’t need all this fuss and nonsense. They are a good idea, but we could do them in a way that would be sooo much less stressful.

(The funniest part of all being, it’s a project for the parents mainly, and the parents... don’t like it x’D No they really don’t. They are happy to have the project, but first they’ve got to get it home, and it is HUGE and HEAVY and UNWIELDY lmao. And some of them are carrying twin 2 year olds and both of their futons home as well, and we’re like “here you go, two giant projects for you to take home!” And the parents are like “thanks????”)

#fizz's life #work

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tartagilicious · 5 years ago

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Can you write a Lawrence/MC after his ending where he leaves one day to go supply hunting and the MC is finally able to escape but she sees him getting attacked by a couple of guys and decides to save him because she ultimately does still care about him then when she gets him back to safety and is taking care of him he asks why she helped him instead of leaving and she just says something like "because I'm not you" then maybe he can reflect. Sorry if that's too detailed lol

I really like this prompt you gave me, personally, though I did change it slightly. I had a fun time writing this. It turned out better than most of my requests usually do!

* no editing on the second half because 😔✌️im sick and I don’t feel like it that’s all lol so I apologise for any mistakes

—

You shudder when you hear the basement door slam shut, suddenly leaving you alone in the all-but-homey basement yet again. When Lawrence had initially saved you from the horde of zombies, he had made sure to mention that there was enough food to keep both of you going for a while — almost as if it was supposed to be equal to a sort of incentive for coming with him and leaving your other friends to die.

But, in retrospective to the virus, it wasn’t necessarily a bad promise.

You had liked Lawrence at one point, and as hard as it may have been to know that, your opinion of him couldn’t change that fast. He was smart, empathetic, and even if you didn’t like it, he always knew what he was doing. There was no choice but to trust in him then, especially when his iron grip on your wrist unfairly startled you into it.

Yet, ironically, it was the last straw when his calculations ended up being wrong.

Supplies dwindled faster when he thought you were comfortable enough to being doing so, but he was stuck when he realised how close you were actually cutting it. You suddenly had to worry about your food again rather than the man in front of you, and it was scary. It really was.

To be so young and stare despair in the face isn’t something you ever pictured yourself doing, but now, you do it helplessly everyday in the reflection of circle framed glasses.

You flip on the light switch again when you’re sure that Lawrence is gone, and immediately sink to the floor. Emotions pour out of you in the form of stagnant breaths, leaving you choking on the musty air. This happens often — you bottle up the very emotions Lawrence encourages you to share, and let them out when he can’t see.

Maybe it’s petty of you. But you don’t care.

Because the last thing you want is for him to see you break down. You’re powerless enough around the boy as it is.

But this time, the swirl of complicated emotions in chest isn’t just from the usual; it’s fear. You had forgotten about the crushing reality of the apocalypse outside, and how hard it really was to survive. No matter how cunning Lawrence pretended to be, life always had the last laugh.

You sit slumped against the wall for god knows how long, trying to find peace in the messy cracks on the walls. But you give up when they begin to blend together, and only finally avert your eyes when you begin to see them shifting.

It has taken you a long time to learn that reality is altered in the place you’re forced to call home. Dark days are filled with pleasant treatment from your so-called admirer, but leave deep scars on you no amount of love can fix. You sadly think that not even your eyes know what to see anymore as you try to blink away your confusion, adjusting to the room around you instead.

The basement had become unfavourable in almost no time flat, with its lonely walls and industrial scheme — and especially the twisted safety inside of it. It was moments like those that you looked at the stairs leading up to ground level and wondered what would happen if you just decided to leave everything behind.

If I left Lawrence, would he hunt me down again?

That thought keeps you grounded every time.

But your intrusive thoughts already have a streak of zero to one, and before you can stop it, your curiosity leads you up the basement stairs implanted deep in your memory and onto the ground floor.

He’s not here, he can’t do anything about it. Stop worrying.

Then you realise that you have no business worrying about Lawrence, someone who is god knows where, when such a mess is in front of you. The hallway’s routine scent of old blood fills your nose faster than you can react, immediately calling up tears. Your memories of the friends you’d lost burn brightly in your head — and the memories of seeing their faces for the last time makes you sick.

In a daze, you turn away and pinch your nose. Tears catch in your lashes and make your vision blurry as you open your eyes while you walk away, but you don’t care. You just want to get away.

Cautiously, you hug your jacket tighter around you as you get closer and closer to the doors. It’s been months since you’ve been let out of the basement, much less outside — and you have no idea what to expect. Did the government make any progress? Or, assuming the worst, has the virus really begun to do lasting damage?

You’re afraid to find out, but with the adrenaline and fear pumping through your veins, you push the doors open without a second thought. It’s a stupid idea, but when you’re stuck between the fear to escape and the fear to stay put, there’s only so many things you can do.

Sly footed and calm: that’s what Lawrence has always told you to be in the presence of a zombie. But strangely, and thankfully, you don’t see a single other moving thing as you manoeuvre the door to quietly shut.

Time moves slowly as you stand there and think. You’re anxious in the premonition that a zombie will pop out, and because of this your thoughts are jumbled, but you still manage to remember the bare details you’d so scoured over about the safe zone the night before you were supposed to leave with your friends.

It shouldn’t be hard if I don’t stop for anything. You think to yourself. Maybe I’ll prove those men from before wrong and make it there fast.

That would be best.

The fact that you hadn’t thought to grab any weapons alarms you, but you spot what looks like the old remnants of a plank of wood a few feet away and figure it’s good as anything.

It’s slightly heavy to lug along, but you walk fast in your nervousness, so you don’t see the big deal in it as long as you keep pace. And you do so as quietly as possible, scared beyond belief at the possibility of your luck going dry and leading you to encounter exactly what you hope to avoid.

Yet it seems like your luck is about to run out when you hear the unmistakable grunt of a group of zombies. No more than a few, you think, but it’s still a few too many. And like the sensible person you think yourself to be, you’re about to distance yourself from them as fast as possible.

But then you hear something else. Something else distinctly human that you can’t help but stop a second time for. Betraying every nerve in your body that screams for you to move, you stop for the sole chance of finding someone else.

You curse under your breath as you grip the plank tighter in your grip, the pieces digging into your skin as you peek around the corner in front of you — close, and also the very place that the ruckus is coming from.

Though you seriously consider retreating back again when you notice that it’s Lawrence having a hard time. He seems to be handling the small group of zombies around him fairly well, anyway, armed with a short metal pipe and his normal malicious intents.

Still, he’s not superhuman. It’s obvious that he’s getting tired, and might not even last much longer if he lets that get to him.

Would it matter if he dies?

He’s all I have left.

He locked you up.

He doesn’t treat me badly.

He killed your friends.

You have a hard time arguing with the devil on your shoulder on that one. But your good senses, still intact, luckily come back in time to help you figure out what to do in the nick of time.

There’s nothing that will come out of leaving Lawrence to die. As much as you’ve admittedly fantasised about something ripping him away and finally freeing you, you would be at a disadvantage without his guidance. Lawrence’s leader qualities hadn’t gone anywhere, and it wasn’t as if his good traits never existed.

As much as you hate to say it, there’s a part of you that still cares about him.

Gritting your teeth, you rush in and make your presence known. All of your emotion is projected into a hit that knocks a particular zombie back onto the ground, and completely startling Lawrence to an extent that it almost makes you proud.

“What are you doing?” He hisses, but he doesn’t sound angry. His eyes are wild and panicked, but not in the same way you’d seen when he killed that man all those months ago — he just seemed scared. “Why are you here?”

You hold your tongue as much as you can. “That doesn’t matter, focus on what’s in front of you!”

A guttural noise of disapproval makes its way out of his throat, but dissolves upon the movement of his arms swinging the pipe directly into a zombie’s distorted face. You do the same to the ones closer to you, using the piece of wood to slam up to where their chin should be and knock them back a considerable distance so that when they came back, they were easier for Lawrence to deal with.

The system works well with your teamwork, and soon enough, all of the zombies that had gathered are at your feet.

The atmosphere is so tense you expect him to start yelling even there, but surprisingly, he doesn’t.

“Thank you, ___.” He pants, his face slightly red as you just stand there and take in his words. “I don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t there to help.”

You nod hesitantly, finally letting the plank rest against your legs as it had grown heavy.

“...But, why did you help me?” He asks this with bunched brows, as if the prospect confuses him. And you’re glad it does, because still, the last thing you want is misunderstanding the way you feel.

“Because I’m not like you.”

Something in Lawrence’s eyes shifts, similar to realisation. If only it was.

“Come on,” You wave a hand reluctantly, motioning for him to follow you. “Let’s go somewhere safer before any more show up.”

He just stares at you, completely uncharacteristically quiet. But you would be lying if you said it didn’t finally make you feel powerful.

Maybe, from now on, things can be different.

—

read more of my works! ♡

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 5 years ago

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Hakuoki SSL Cross Short Story Kazama “Hobby” Translation

Only one SSl Kazama Cross Short story left....also incoming rant at the bottom as I’m feeling freaking exhausted and annoyed. -.-

Enjoy the translation... if you are able to. [lol yeah im also upset]

Hakuoki SSL Cross Short Story Kazama x Hobby

Translation by KumoriYami

Inoue: 3rd year class 3 students, hello. Although it no longer seems/may no longer be necessary to introduce yourself, give your name. I am the school cafeteria's Inoue. [cafeteria can be subsiituted w/ canteen, dining hall, etc.]

noue: Today's fifth period class/lecture is special, as I am in charge of it as the lecturer/as I will be your lecturer.

Inoue: Although wearing this is a bit embarrassing, nevertheless treat me kindly [alt: please take care of me].

Kazama: Ah. Unexpectedly having you come to teach class/teach this one [me], is a big deal. [Alt: I can't believe you've come to teach me, this is no small task/ this is not meant for someone without capability.] [not sure????]

Kazama: Hey, what is the contents of today's class/lecture? If it's too boring this one [I] will not spare you.

Inoue: Today I'll be teaching you how to write your resume. As third year students, you will face the opportunity/prospect/challenge of getting/going to university and getting jobs/getting a job, and I believe that there will be more opportunities to write resumes/ believe that the opportunities for writing resumes will increase.

Inoue: Therefore the school has decided to entrust me with sharing my knowledge with everyone/So the school has decided for me to give a lecture to everyone as someone with work experience.

Inoue: Next please prepare [take?] a blank resume. Discuss with your classmates and think about your strengths, and write them down in that column. [Probably meaning: Fill in the blanks]

Kazama: ——Full name: Kazama Chikage. Age: unknown. Specialties(/skills): there is nothing that this one/I cannot do.

Kazama: Next is hobbies.... Let's write down observing human behaviour. [I think?]

Inoue: Well, it turns out that Kazama's hobby is observing human behaviour. I believe/ I'm sure you have a lot of experience in observing human behaviour, [so] you can use these experiences as a highlight to introduce yourself/highlight in introducing yourself...

Kazama:......What are you talking about?

Inoue: Nn?

Kazama: Did you think that I would actually observe the common rabble? That's simply ridiculous. Kazama: To be my target of observation during the day and night [alt: at all times], [there is] only one person. [basically: There is only one person who has my interest at all times.]

Kazama: Right/That's right/correct, that is my wife, Yukimura Chizuru, only this one person [only her]!

Inoue:............

Inoue: That is not calling observing human behaviour, [rather that] feels as if should belong to a more dangerous category/classification.....

Kazama: Almost forget. In the spouse [martial status] column draw [put] in a “〇”.

Inoue: You can't fake [a/your] resume......

----

i’m not sure if i’ll get to finishing the cxm 2017 otomate party drama this month....

P.S. i’m going to rant now since i am 1000000000000000000000000000000% sick of the federal election news coverage. [sorry but this is how I cope. also i intend to vote and did watch the federal leaders’ debate]

I’m seriously fucking tired of hearing about the federal election that I will be voting in. I wish people would realize that regardless of how good it may be to have more money in your wallet, a point i will not argue against since money is a necessary resource for any country since economic activity is required to do anything, including investing in transitional and cleaner alternatives and technologies, but it will mean less than nothing if you don’t have a livable environment or air to breathe. The lack of understanding on this by the what-will-not-be-named c-party of Canada, especially aggravates me. If they really wanna scrap the carbon tax, that’s fine, but they seriously need an actual environmental plan that will do something aside from giving b.s. lip service. I mean, really, will any amount of money be enough if you can’t breathe? Just look at what air pollution has done to Asia.

I’ve always said and believed that if you don’t have your health, than you have nothing, but why does it seem that so many politicians seem to believe that money is like the only thing people should care for? The threat of climate change is very real, and it’s most direct impact on people as individuals will be through the air unless someone somehow don’t breathe in oxygen. Increased air pollution, and the subsequent drop in air quality has contributed to the deaths over 2 million people every year and ignoring this, which has gotten significantly worse due to increased global temperatures, is simply unacceptable.

It just feels like no one thinks long term about the environment in politics. No one seems to care or connect how global warming will actually have effect the economy. For the example of air pollution, increased sickness and diseases related to the increase in pollutants in the air will mean more people needing healthcare, which will in turn affect the number of people actually contributing to the economy. With an already aging population, and one that is also shrinking, that also means less people contributing, and increased deaths or just people being unable to work as much since they either require care, will overall mean less money they can spend to support local economic activities, which will then result in the recipients of said money with less money to do the same thing and result in less economic activity overall, which therefore also means less economic growth, stability and prosperity, and less money to support those same social services that people will need to rely on as the demand for healthcare increases.

*sighhhhhh*

Seriously i could go on, but I’ll refrain from writing an essay right now... though I will say that I’ve done projects/speeches that were related to the the environment and climate change in some way for almost every single year I was in school since grade 4 and I do my best to follow news related to the environment so I do know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, this will probably be the only semi-political/semi-environmental rant I make before election day... and until next year... at least unless something seriously pisses me off after the election ends.

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki game translation #Hakuoki SSL Cross Story Translation #hakuoki ssl #kazama chikage #inoue genzaburo

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josephmozzerellaswife-blog · 6 years ago

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Expecting the Unexpected Part 4

IM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! I have been slammed with school and work so I’ve barely had time to write! Luckily I was sick for the past couple days and finally got to finish it. I hope you all LOVE it as much as i loved writing it for you all.

Warnings: fluff, angst, childhood illness, SMUT (at the end)

Word Count: 6500+

Summary: When Joe gets back from his recent business trip he notices something is up with your new little one. Can an urgent ER trip change your lives for good?

That night was even worse. Every couple hours Scarlet’s walling would jolt you both out of your sleep, her cries crushing your hearts with each beat. You turned to your phone for the time, 3:47 am.

“It’s my turn, I’ll go try to calm her down again.”

Joe was so strong through all of this and you never understood how. He had his breaking moments, but never let you feel like you were alone, his constant reminder that you all were going to get through this. Scarlet was going to win this battle.

He was persistent about you staying in bed. Not only did you watch Scarlet constantly during her treatment the day before but Joe knew that you weren’t eating because of your anxiety. His worries only grew as you continue to push aside your health for Scarlet. Of course he understands why you’re doing it, you can’t help, it but he just wants you to be healthy.

The last thing you remember was Joe crawling back into bed as he wrapped his arms around your waist, placing a light peck against your forehead.

“I love you Y/N. It’s crazy how much I love you, you know that?”

“What’s crazier is that I love you even more.” you whispered in a daze, your eyes quickly getting heavier by the minute.

“Not possible my love. You are my everything and more. The both of you.”

He kissed you passionately against your lips, his soft lips melting into yours, each time falling deeper and deeper into him. He was such a tease but you were both so tired that this was all you needed. Each other. Him holding you. Falling asleep in his arms.

The warm sunshine woke you from your well needed rest. The only thing missing was Joey but you figured he just went to check on Scarlet. A quick buzz of your phone drew your attention as the screen lit up.

“Joe Mazzello leaves Oscars in a hurry. What’s actually going on and is there another “hospital visit” in store?”

Normally you would be furious at the press but your worries were easily redirected to the bigger picture. Scarlet. You always knew that dating Joe would bring unnecessary attention to your life but you could care less about the media. Joe was your true love, your soulmate, he was everything to you and more. A little press wasn’t going to change that. Then came marriage and little Scarlet. Everything was falling into place and the media was there to share it the whole time. Even when the press angered you, Joe was there to remind you that nothing else mattered to him but you. Only you.

After browsing through the various press releases about your husband and his ‘dramatic’ exit, you finally brought yourself to stumble out of bed. Not so gracefully throwing on one of Joe’s hoodies, you made your way down the hall to Scarlet’s room only to find your adorable husband asleep while swaddling your precious little one. Their snores, although cute, bounced off the walls into an echo. You couldn’t help but laugh. Scarlet was a perfect mix of you both but she has the best of Joe’s personality. You threw on a fuzzy blanket over Joey’s legs and cracked the door open ever so slightly, trying to avoid waking your sleepy family.

You threw yourself into your husband’s spot on the couch and clicked on one of the movies Joe always kept in the dvd player, “It’s a Wonderful Life”. It was always one of your favorites but Joe opened a new view of the movie to you. His experience with film making and acting always made movies so much more magical to you. Visiting on set, dress rehearsals, press tours, everything that went along with the movie was a new experience. You always tried your best to have these experiences with Joe. Undrafted was the first time you both got the chance to do it together as a married couple. He always took you with him for interviews, showings, even most of the filming days.

A familiar buzz took you from the memory as you glanced to the coffee table, it was Gwilym.

Morning Y/N, I tried to reach Joe but didn’t get an answer. We were all just wondering if you all would like to go out for some tea later, say about noon? We both know how much Joe loves a good afternoon tea, or literally anytime he can have it. It’s just a little something for us to show our support, plus it’s been a while and we’d love to catch up! Kisses to Scarlet for me! X

You were very quick to reply. Whenever you could hang out with the gang, you always took the invitation. Plus Joe could use some quality time with his friends and you really just wanted to take your mind off of things and talk with Lucy.

Of course Gwil! We’d love to. The Huntington Rose Garden Tea Room is our favorite in the area! Please tell me you’re bringing that lovely fiancé of yours, Lucy and I need another girl to talk with.

Yes she is! I take her everywhere after all. She’s dying to meet the little one! Hopefully she’s not feeling to bad. I am so so sorry about everything that’s happened. Just know that we are all here for you guys if you need anything!

Thank you Gwil that’s very kind of you all. See you at noon!

Time felt like it flew by. It was about 10am when you heard footsteps coming from around the corner.

“Good morning my love. Someone felt a little ill so I slept in the rocking chair last night.” he mumbled, rubbing circles into his eyes.

“I saw. All I have to say is how did I get so lucky to have a sexy, multi-talented husband who cares for his child and wife while dropping everything to be with them. You really are my knight in shinning armor Mazzello, you know that?”

His eyes couldn’t leave your face, your body. His gaze grew deeper into yours, falling in love with you more than he ever thought possible. He inched closer to you by the second, his lips soon locked to yours. Joe set the sleepy child into her portable crib he assembled the day before. He swiftly twirled you back into his arms, your lips interlocked again. You pushed him into the couch, quick to hover over him as your touch remained constant. His hands sliding down your back as you inched closer to each other.

“You drive me absolutely insane Y/N.”

“Funny, I was about to say the same thing as you.”

Your touch never left his body, the distance from each of you nonexistent. If it weren’t for the little one right across the room you knew for sure it would have been more than a steamy make out session.

“You’re such a tease Mazzello.”

“I am? Speak for yourself.”

You both fell into simultaneous giggles, your head leaning against his chest as he stroked your hair.

“I could do this everyday. Just you and me. On this couch. But a little more-“

“Watch it Joe. Baby in the room.”

His gaze grew deeper into yours as a smile creeped along his face.

“Well, you already know then don’t you.”

“I have an... idea I suppose.” you said, a wink shooting in your husband direction.

“God the things I could do to you.”

“Joey!”

“What. It’s true.”

“Ugggh, you tease.”

His playful smile soon fell to yours in a slow, passion filled kiss. It was true that Joe always felt like home. Even if it wasn’t New York, whenever you were with Joe you always felt safe. Nothing was ever gonna happen to his favorite girls after all.

“I almost forgot. Gwil texted earlier, invited us to afternoon tea with the whole gang.”

“Your joking.” he said, barely hiding the excitement in his eyes.

“Am not. Told him we’d bring the whole fam. After all, it’s been a while since we’ve taken Scarlet out and it could does us all some good to get out of this apartment.”

“I love you.”

“I love you to Joey.”

He placed a kiss against your forehead as he continued to rub your arm.

“I’m glad you’re here. With me. I don’t know what I would do if I never meet you all those years ago. Tom really did do his magic didn’t he.”

You giggled. Tom Hanks was originally the one who introduced the two of you. You weren’t an actress but he was a family friend and knew about your love for film. He insisted you come to set and even offered you a role as an extra for the end of the shoot.

“I couldn’t Tom. I’m not even an actress.”

“Come on Y/N I know you’d love it!”

As much as you wanted to say no a cute, fiery redhead walking this way had other ideas.

“Oh you have to take the part. A gorgeous girl like you can’t just be sitting on the sidelines. You’d be perfect!” he said, his eyes fighting to stay on yours.

“Y/N this is Joe Mazzello. He plays Eugene.”

Your face instantly flushed a deep shade of pink as you saw Tom’s smile grow from ear to ear out of the corner of your eye.

“I’ll leave you two to talk.”

“So what’s a gorgeous girl like you saying no to Tom Hanks?”

“Oh Tom is just a family friend. I’m no actress.”

“I beg to differ. With that personality you could do anything.”

“Anything?”

He smiled. You could tell that even though he came on strong, deep down he was really shy and judging by the group of men whispering from a far, this seemed to be a big step for him.

“Well I was wondering if uh- you wanted to uh-“ he stumbled over his words, the confidence he had quickly turning into his shy persona again.

“Get coffee sometime?” you giggled.

“Really? You want to go out with me?”

“I don’t see why not. You are very sweet.”

He blushed before your turned to give him your number. Little did you know, that the part Tom has planned for you was to dance with Joe’s character at the end of the final episode. Even though it was cut from the show, Tom had planned for you to meet Joe the whole time. When he spoke at your wedding along side Steven Spielberg, they mentioned how one day they were talking about the two of you and noticed how similar of a chemistry you both had. Ever since then you’ve been together and you both owe it all to those lovely men.

Joe noticed how you were day dreaming. He could only wonder what you could possibly be thinking about. He loved how that intelligent brain of yours worked. When he looked at you again he noticed you dozed off. Considering that you were laying on top of him, he just held you tight, never letting go. He always felt the need to let you know how much he loved you.

You were both soon woken up by the small cries of your ill child from across the room. It hurt you to see Scarlet in such discomfort. Even though she wasn’t throwing up anymore and most of the hard side-effects had worn off by now, you could still tell she wasn’t her best. You grabbed her medicine off the counter and swopped her up to breastfeed. It was only a few more hours before you left and you didn’t want her to be cranky considering it would be the first time you all hung out in a while. You quickly swaddled her before laying back next to Joe to feed her.

“You’re amazing. I honestly don’t know how you do it.” he smiled.

He always knew you would be a fantastic mother. He could tell just by the first time you both spoke about having children, the tone of passion and excitement in your voice.

Joe offered to finish cleaning up Scarlet so you could go and start to get ready. Bless that man. You decided to go with something simple and just throw on some jeans and a comfy sweater. You were just about to leave the bathroom when you looked in the mirror,

“Yikes. Looks like I didn’t get very much sleep last night after all.”

You quickly powdered your faces and threw on some sloppy concealer just to cover your under eyes before heading down the hall to Scarlet’s room.

“Joey honey go get ready, I can get her dressed.”

“I’d love to but you know this is my favorite part.”

You both laughed in unison. It was true, Joe was quite the fashionista when it came to baby clothes.

“Ok well I’m on baby duty when you’re done Mazzello. We are running late.”

“Yes ma’am.”

God he always knew just how to make you laugh.

You swooped the baby from his arms as you pointed to the bedroom door, obviously trying to hold in your giggles. You slowly rocked your little one as you sang one of her favorite songs, trying to get that cute little smile out of her.

I was born to love you

With every single beat of my heart

Yes I was born to take care of you

Every single day of my life

It didn’t take very long for her sweet, gentle eyes to light up across her face.

“How did mommy ever get so lucky to be blessed with you and daddy?”

Little did you know, Joe was standing in the doorway all jazzed up and snapping pictures of the two of you.

“Have you been there the whole time?”

“Most of it. We’re gonna be late but I could stand here and watch you all day.” he giggled, a tear running from his eye.

“Aww love, don’t cry.” tears were quickly forming in your eyes.

“You both are just so incredible. I don’t know who i’d be without you.”

He encased you in his arms, his chin resting on your head while one hand wrapped around your waist and the other on Scarlet’s head. You wish the moments like these could last forever. While you rushed out the door and got Scarlet all situated in her car seat, Joe made sure that everything you might need was in her diaper bag and quickly followed you.

It was about a 45 minute drive to the tea room and Scarlet slept for most of the car ride, although both Joe and your singing might have woken her up a few times. Thankfully she was in a great mood.

“I’m so glad we get to do this. I know how much you’ve wanted to do something like this since the diagnosis.”

“I’m just glad I get to do it with you. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner to spend the rest of my life with.” the tears slowly began to fill your eyes.

“Aww baby don’t cry. I know it’s been tough but I will always be here every step of the way, through everything, not just this.”

“I love everything about you Joey. Even your snores no matter how many times I have to nudge you at night.” Your tears soon turned to laughter before you both got out of the car.

The paparazzi had been following your car for the past 15 minutes so you already knew what to expect. Joe had quickly unbuckled Scarlet and swaddled her in the blanket before he came around the car to grab your hand. Thankfully Ben had come outside to help escort you both past the outrageous amount of cameras.

“Seems like you three are quite the popular bunch.” Ben joked.

“To bad it’s just to find out about if we are doing our jobs as parents right.” you muttered.

Joe placed his hand against your low back, slowing rubbing up and down.

“Are you crazy? Obviously you both are the best parents. Everyone knows it, even the paps.” Gwil chimed in.

“Uggh it’s just frustrating. I know i’m not supposed to care what they think but this is mine and Joe’s child they are talking about.”

Joe could tell you were getting upset just by the way you were holding his hand.

“Why don’t we go find our table yeah?” Joe implied, looking to Ben.

Ben noticed what Joe was trying to do.

“Hey Y/N/N, you mind if I pull Joe aside really quick.” Ben asked.

“You don’t have to ask silly.” you smiled, taking the baby from Joe’s arms.

“Besides I think everyone is dying to see Scarlet anyway.”

As you walked away from the two handsome men, you were greeted by Rami, Lucy and Gwilym’s fiancé who you had met a couple times before.

“Oh my gosh Y/N has she grow already since the last time we saw her? It’s only been a few weeks!” Lucy exclaimed.

“I know she is growing like crazy lately. It makes mommy a little sad doesn’t it sweetie.” you say, as you direct your attention to your daughter who Gwil was now holding.

“She better stop growing, otherwise I won’t get to call her my little squirt anymore!” Rami laughed while Lucy nudged his arm playfully.

You noticed that Joe had been gone for a while now and it was starting to worry you. What could he possibly be planning? Was he ok? Your anxiety was starting to get the best of you after the encounter you had not long before.

“Excuse me for just a moment, I’m gonna go to the ladies room. Lu do you mind watching Scarlet for a minute?” you said as your worried expression was painted across your face.

“Sure love! Scarlet loves her auntie Lucy time huh little one?” she said as she let your little one hold her finger.

As you got up Gwil noticed a tear running down your cheek. He looked to his fiancé with a concerned look on his face,

“Love would you go check on her? I think she’s having a rough time with all of this.”

Gwil had told her about everything Joe had said the night before so she was somewhat caught up to speed.

“Of course, I can’t imagine any of this being easy for them.”

Just as she began to walk away Joe and Ben had entered the private room to join the rest of the group. Joe scanned the room for you after noticing Scarlet was with Lucy.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“Oh she just went to the restroom, she should be back in a second.” Lucy said, but something still seemed a little off to Joe considering the way you stayed close to him earlier.

“Joe-“ Gwil whispered, trying to get Joe’s attention.

He looked to Gwil instantly. Maybe he knew something?

“I noticed Y/N starting to get upset before she left so my fiancé went to check on her. Is everything all right?”

Joe hesitated. He didn’t know if he should tell him or not but Gwil was one of his best friends and Rami and Ben already knew.

“She’s been having a rough time. Her anxiety hasn’t been the best lately and it’s been hard for us with the whole diagnosis and all.” He looked to Scarlet, holding in whatever tears he had left.

“Joe I- I had no idea man. I’m sorry.” he could tell Gwil felt bad for asking, it was a touchy subject after all.

“No Gwil it’s ok. We appreciate everything all of you have done for us. It’s been hard and it’s not going to get any easier but with all of you supporting us it’s been very helpful. We can’t thank you guys enough.”

He smiled resting his hand on Gwil’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna go check on Y/N and see if she’s alright.”

Joe couldn’t get up from his seat any faster, his worries about you growing with every step.

You heard a knock on the door as you were crying into Gwilym’s fiancé’s shoulder.

“Who is it?” she said, trying to hand you more tissues.

“It’s Joe. Honey are you okay?”

You looked up from her shoulder.

“Baby please come in.” you managed to spit out between sobs.

He swiftly opened the door encasing you in his arms.

“Love oh no. Are you alright?”

“I’ll give you some privacy.” she said before leaving the room.

“Joe I thought I could do this. I really did. It’s just so much all at once and with the paparazzi and all eyes are on us right now. It’s just a lot. I don’t want to leave, I want to be here with our friends but I just needed a minute. I’m sorry i’m such a mess, you shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“Y/N/N don’t you ever say something like that. Don’t apologize for something you can’t control love. I want to be here for you. I want YOU. You are the only thing I care about right now.”

His words comforted you along with his warm touch. You needed him so bad right now and you couldn’t understand why. It only took you a couple more minutes to calm down from your anxiety attack. Joe always knew how to help you through them. You pulled yourself together and Joe held your hand as he guided you both back to the table.

“Sorry for that. Just needed a moment.” you apologized.

“No need to apologize Y/N. We’re all here for you guys.” Ben explained.

It was obvious that everyone knew what was going on by now and an instant relief flew through your body. Everyone important to you both knew. Now the only thing left was the world but it’s definitely not the time for that. You smiled over to Gwil’s fiancé and mouthed a quick ‘thank you’ as she smiled.

“So how has everyone been? I know everyone has been quite busy lately.” you pointed out.

“Well 6 Underground has been a blast! We’re almost wrapped too! One production is finished you bet i’m gonna be at your house all the time to watch that little one of yours.” Ben winked to you, something seemed a little suspicious but you couldn’t quite put a finger on it yet.

“And I’ve just done a finally press tour for Top End Wedding! Movie weddings are fun and all but I can’t wait to experience the real thing soon.” Gwil smiled as he wrapped his arm around his fiancé.

“Rami and I have been doing a lot of traveling lately. See the world together. It’s been great fun.” Lucy turned to kiss Rami on the cheek.

“That’s fantastic! We’re glad you all are doing so well. We missed you guys like crazy.” you laughed.

“We missed you guys too. Especially last night.” Rami explained.

“Congratulations by the way Mr. Academy Award winner.” Joe nudged his shoulder.

“You could say that. I couldn’t have done it without all of you. Even you little squirt.” Rami smiled, looking to the small child resting in his girlfriends arms. He tickled the little girl until her giggles flooded the room causing everyone to laugh along.

You adored how much everyone loved Scarlet. There was never a doubt in your mind that they wouldn’t love her even if she was born right before BoRhap’s big premiere.

The rest of the afternoon was wonderful. Everyone chatted about what was going on in their lives and all the new upcoming projects. Scarlet was definitely getting all the attention no doubt. Everyone insisted on holding her and giving her all the cuddles in the world. It was way past her nap time so when she fell asleep in Ben’s arms he looked a little scared.

“Uhh Joe mate. What did I do?”

“Nothing Ben.” he said while everyone continued to laugh,

“She just fell asleep. It’s way past her first nap.”

Joe took her from Ben to relieve him of his baby duties while everyone else finished their tea and conversations.

It wasn’t long after that when everyone said their goodbyes and loved on your little one for the last time. Except for Ben. Something was definitely going on. Maybe this was what he pulled Joe aside for?

As the paparazzi scrambled to photograph everyone leaving, there was one in particular trying to catch shots of your little one before Ben got into the car.

“Hey buzz off mate. Don’t you know what boundaries are?” Ben threatened the man still shoving his camera towards your child’s face.

Joe was quick to step in, keeping you close behind him before helping you into the car after Ben had Scarlet situated.

“Babe what’s going on?” you questioned, puzzled by the blonde sitting directly behind you.

“I may have a little something up my sleeve planned for tonight.”

Your puzzled expression quickly grew into a smile. He always planned the best surprises.

“Oh is that so?” you teased, having an idea of what might happen tonight.

“What can I say. I’m full of surprises.”

“You don’t fool me one bit Mazzello.”

He smiled at you placing a kiss to your lips before getting into his side of the car.

On your way home, you noticed that Joe had missed the exit to go back to Ben’s hotel. You figured that was on purpose based upon the quiet giggles and smirks the two men had exchanged while passing it.

“What in the world are you two planning?”

“What are you talking about Y/N? I just asked Joe if he could drive me back to your apartment because I forgot some stuff there.” Ben explained, but something still seemed suspicious.

If Ben really had left something there, wouldn’t he have texted Joe about it before we left?

“If you say so.” you smirked.

This left the boys with a puzzled look on their faces. Did you already know what they had planned?

By the time you drove into the driveway, Scarlet was already asleep for her late nap so Ben had no problems switching her from the car seat to his arms. Joe helped you out of your side of the car and his hand quickly interlocked with yours as you both followed not to far behind Ben and the baby.

When everyone went inside, you noticed a suitcase had already been packed and was sitting by the front door. Trying to avoid anymore questions you simply just plopped down on the couch and flicked on one of your favorite tv programs.

“Babe I’m just gonna uh- grab something really quick i’ll be back.” Joe fumbled over his words as he looked to Ben.

He swiftly stammered down the hall and Ben day himself next to you on the couch.

“Any plans for tonight?” he said with an anxious tone to his voice.

“Nothing that I know of. Just another night in.”

Ben was quick to react to your words, a smile plastered across his face just as you said them.

You hadn’t even noticed Joe had come back into the room until you felt his warm touch slide across your arm.

“Love wanna come with me for a drive? I have to run and go pick something up.” he stuttered.

“Where to?”

“Oh it’s nothing just a few errands. Ben can watch the baby right?”

“Oh sure, I don’t see why not.”

You could clearly see right through Ben. He knew something you didn’t.

“Is love to go babe. After all your next project is coming up soon.”

Joe swiped the keys off the counter as you quickly went over to give Scarlet hugs.

“Momma will be back later ok sweetie. We love you.” you said as you kissed her forehead.

Just as you were walking out the door you noticed Joe grab the suitcase that was still sitting by the front door. He not so secretly threw it in the back of the car before helping you into your seat. He swiftly ran around the car and jumped into the driver’s side before handing you the aux cord.

“Anything you want love.” he offered.

“Anything?” you teased, hoping he might have an idea of the song you would pick.

You clicked on your favorite Elton John song The One and a smile lit up across Joe’s face. You always sing this to him when he is feeling down or upset about something because it perfectly describe what Joe is to you.

When stars collide like you and I

No shadows block the sun

You’re all I’ve ever needed

Baby you’re the one

The whole way to this “errand run” was filled with all your favorite artists and songs. The only thing that confused you was when Joe changed one of he songs that came on, Get Down, Make Love by Queen. He never said changes songs from your playlists ESPECIALLY Queen songs because he knows they are one of your favorites.

“Something wrong love?” you asked, your hand soon laying on his. You couldn’t take it anymore, What in the world was going on?

“Joe what’s going on? You’ve been acting weird since we left the tea room today.”

“Nothing. It’s uh- a surprise.”

Just as he said that, you pulled into the most fabulous hotel covered in golden, bright lights and fancy architecture.

“You didn’t.”

“I told you I had something up my sleeve.” he smirked, shooting a sly wink in your direction.

“So I’m guessing that’s what the suitcase is for?” you giggled.

“I may have called someone to pack us a bag.”

“And Ben? Is this why he pulled you aside earlier?”

“He asked if we wanted a day just for us so I called and made some reservations.”

“Well you did a damn good job of hiding it Mazzello. It’s almost like you’re an actor or something.”

You both flooded the car with laughter.

“Almost huh?”

You both got out of the car and Joe grabbed the suitcase out of the back before grabbing your waist to twirl you around.

“A night all to ourselves!” you screamed.

Don’t get me wrong you both love Scarlet with everything you have but it’s been so long since you’ve both had the night alone.

“After you my love.” Joe said, gesturing you inside as he held the door.

His hand never left your side the whole time, constantly keeping his touch to your body known.

“I have a reservation under Mazzello.”

The lady shot you a quick, jealous look before bringing her eyes back to Joe.

“Of course. Top floor.”

“Top floor! Joe I-“ you loudly tried to whisper to Joe.

“Hey. No ruining the surprise before we get up there.”

“What do you mean? I thought this was the surprise?”

“Oh like all I was gonna do was take you to a fancy hotel for the night. Someone has to make up for this morning.” he teased before placing a sweet kiss against your lips.

“What do you mean-“ Then it hit you.

“Oh so that’s what’s going on here. Let’s just say we’re gonna have a fun night then.” you teased right back.

When you walked into the gigantic room, or should you say suite, your mind was blown.

“Joe this is absolutely gorgeous! How did you even find this place?”

“Let’s just say a friend recommended it to me.”

“Ben?”

“Nooooooo.” he said trying not to laugh, but it was pretty obvious by then.

Then you noticed the bed. Boy was that gonna be some fun later. It was blanketed in hundreds of rose petals, all which were making the room smell incredible.

“You’ve really outdone yourself here Joe. You didn’t have to do all this for me.”

“I did. You’re my wife and I love every inch of you, you’ll find out just how much later.” he winked, god he drove you absolutely insane.

“Oh will I?”

He nodded before swooping you off your feet and pinning you against the bed.

“Why wait?”

He lifted you up before you grabbed his shirt and threw it off his body. His lips pressed against yours, slowly making their way down to your neck.

“You wouldn’t happen to need this would you?” he said pointing to your shirt.

Your face quick to say no as your hands continued to entangle in Joe’s fluffy red hair. His hands make their way down to your waist when you feel your pants become loose as Joe pulls them off.

“Little eager are we?”

“With all the teasing that happened today? Most definitely.” he said, your hot bodies resting against each other.

Your panties became so wet after that comment, that burning sensation you needed from your husband pounding you against the bed. You went to slide them off before Joe stopped you.

“No No. Those are for me.”

His hands soon met your waist again after trailing their way from your breasts, pulling off your filthy, wet garments. His hand brushing the inside of your thigh, the throbbing from your desperate clit increasing. You pulled him closer, his chest against yours.

“Give me your best Mazzello.”

“Don’t I always.” he smirked before whipping out his long length.

He gave it a few pumps before brushing it against your folds, pushing into your chamber. He covered your mouth to hide your loud moans, his soon to follow. He slowly pumped himself into you, easing you into your orgasm. Your nails digging deeper into Joe’s back.

“Babe your so tight around me.” Your moans now louder as he increased his speed, rocking the bed against the wall.

“Joe i’m so close.”

“Cum for me baby.”

His words sent you over the edge as you hit the peak of your high, his thrusts slowing to string you along through it. His lips meeting yours as he made his way down to your neck, sucking a purple mark into it. His hands had you pinned to the bed, his length still pumping into your slick folds. You roll over on top of him, guiding him into his orgasm. You loved the way you felt when his cum filled you up. Both of you breathing heavy as you come down from your highs. You throw yourself back down next to him on the bed.

“That was incredible.”

“Let’s never wait this long again.” he smiled.

“Round two?” you begged as your eyes met his.

“As much as I would love to fuck you all night, I had more planned for tonight.” You smiled as your hand brushed his cheek, your lips placing a kiss upon it.

“You’re absolutely perfect. You drive me insane and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” You slowly intertwined your legs with his, your head falling upon his chest as you hear the steady beat of his heart grow quick.

“I don’t know how I ever lived my life without you.” He placed a tender kiss against your scalp.

You pushed yourself off the bed and wandered over to the suitcase that barely made it through the door. Quickly rummaging through it, you found one of your favorite dresses to wear on date night. It was a short cocktail dress that flowed just above the knees and hung off your shoulders, the entire dress then blanketed in a thin lace. Not only was it your favorite, but Joe’s too.

“Such a fancy dress, what’s the occasion?

“You’ll find out.” he smirked before approaching you, twirling you into his arms, his hold on you ever so tight.

You shuffled to the bathroom to throw on your outfit with the strappy heels that were pack for you along with some subtle makeup. You weren’t one to go all out with your makeup but considering how the night was going so far, you wanted to make it special.

By the time you were done getting ready Joe had already changed into your favorite dress shirt of his with black slacks, your clutch in his hand ready for you to grab.

“After you my love.” he gestured towards the door.

You barely made it out the door before he smacked your ass and you giggled like a little school girl.

“Joseph!”

“What? You’re such a tease little lady! I can’t help myself.”

He ended up taking you to The Grove first so you could pick up a few books that Joe had noticed you had wanted over the past few weeks and then to one of your favorite clothing stores in LA.

“Joe this is too much. I don’t deserve all this.”

“Are you crazy! Not only are you the most incredible human being, but you are the most amazing mother and wife through all of these unfortunate events happening to us lately. I owe you the world love.” His words sent you to tears, your head falling against his chest.

“Joe I-“ he left you speechless, his hand gently rubbing your back as the other played with your hair. His lips fell to yours, falling deeper in love with him by the second.

Dinner was next on his agenda and he took you to the most gorgeous and lavish restaurant in town. You hadn’t even noticed that the paparazzi had been following the two of you around until Joe had to tell them off a couple of times while leaving the place.

Your night ended with a steamy shower session and throwing on some of Joe’s pjs before hoping into bed.

“Today was absolutely incredible babe. Thank you so much.” you pleaded, your head deep into one of the new books Joe had bought you earlier.

He plopped himself into the spot next to you, his arm quickly wrapped around you.

“You deserve it my love. You deserve it all.” He turned to place a kiss against your temple before you met him in the middle, your lips pressing against his, falling deeper by the minute. You could have fell asleep lying against him until your phone vibrated against the side table.

“Joe Mazzello and wife Y/N Mazzello seen without the little one. Are they abandoning their sick baby just for a fun night out on the town?”

A tear fell from you eyes as Joe sat up from his position on the bed.

“That’s it! We need to tell the world Y/N. I’m sick of everyone bashing us, bashing you, for something that they don’t even know about.”

“I agree. The world needs to know, but how are we supposed to tell them?” Your words calmed him as you both laid back into the heart shaped bed, your head resting against his chest. You could feel the pacing rise and fall of his chest.

“We are going to figure this out Joey. Everything will be ok.”

He looked to you before breaking down, tears slipping from his cheeks. He wasn’t crying from sadness though, it was almost a relief for him. The world needed to find out, and it was going to be soon.

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Thank you all for being so patient!! I have school testing for the next month so I’ve been slammed. I hope you all enjoyed!❤️ Don't forget that my requests are ALWAYS open!!

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