#but im really proud of how Steph came out

[justarandombrit]

The Summoning (feat. My inability to draw Joey Richter)

[Photo ID: Two digital drawings of Grace Chasity, Stephanie Lauter and Peter Spankoffski sat on the floor in the Nerdy Prudes Must Die song The Summoning. The first has multicoloured text across the image reading "Pokotho Bliklotep T'noy Karaxis Nibblenephim Wiggog Y'Wrath" End ID]

[nighthaterfrfr]

i don't bite (well, maybe that's a lie)

[it rotted my brain so much that i couldnt resist. thank u @jben073 for helpin me w the ending, my writing still sucks but wtvr... look lets make it modern bc im not doing research on old shit. my brains small so i dont wanna make it smaller. @wispexists made this beautiful art, check it pls pls pls its so good

anwho here it is

OH TW FOR BLOOD BEFORE I FORGET (vampire.. duh) ]

People's blood is a very sacred thing. In many religions, it's often considered the life of a human. Yet, it's something vampires need for sustenance. Most consider vegan diets, and some just become full on killers when too unregulated.

Stephanie Lauter is unfortunately, a vampire. From what she overhears, her dad made some deal with eldritch gods, and that's why she's here. Solomon Lauter hates his daughter, but she hates him back too. However, to not expose this secret to the public, he helps get Steph's cravings in check by supplying her with animal blood.

Yet, it's never a filling meal. She hasn't had a proper, enriching, bit of human blood in such a long time. Not since middle school. But never in a million years did she expect to drink the blood of the pastor's daughter, Grace Chasity.

Nor did she expect how delicious the blood would be.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every other day, Steph spends her nights at the old Waylon Hall. Hearing all the rumors about the place, it doesn't seem so bad. It's just really fucking abandoned and creepy. Nonetheless, a few candles and fairy lights powered by battery packs make the house look a lot less evil.

This night, she decided to bring more and more of her belongings into the living room. Yeesh, it's a damn mess. She swept the floor with an old broom she found in a janitorial closet, suited most likely for a maid. The more Steph cleaned up the hall, the more she liked that it became kind of her own hideaway. A very eerie home away from home.

After a few hours of just generally cleaning and decorating the main room, she smiled. For once her life, Stephanie Lauter had made something she was proud of. How fun.

Suddenly, she heard an opening from the front door.

For the months she had spent going here, no one had dare even approach the Hall's grounds. So who the fuck seems brave enough to wander in the most "haunted" place in all of Hatchetfield?

Who the fuck..

Steph had hid in some big closet in the room, and took a look at the girl trespassing in her space. In which she was also trespassing in. The girl wore a light blue sweater and a white button up underneath. She wore a brown skirt, white socks and Black Mary Janes. She had rolled up the sleeves of both the button up and the sweater and had her hair in a side part.

Look, she was already in a silk dress meant for sleeping, and she did not want to be disturbed by some girl. However, something just... attracted her. Steph sniffed something good. Better than the "wagyu cow blood" her dad ended up getting to satisfy the urges. Shit, this came from the girl, didn't it?

God- it smelled so good. That feeling of hunger filled Steph's mind and triggered her vampiristic instincts. She need to feed, fast.

As the girl turned her back, Steph quietly came out of the closet she was hiding him. Walking towards the back of her, she saw that her neck was wide open. Thank god for people parting their hair sideways. As she was about to feed, she snapped back to reality, wobbling back and falling on the floor. Of course, the girl turned around, and looked right at Steph.

"Oh my- who are you? What are you doing out here so late?"

The girl put a hand out, and Steph took it. She quickly responded, "I suppose I could ask you the same question, but I don't think I'll get an answer. I'm Steph." "Grace. My father and I were seeing the house earlier, and I left my 'What Would Jesus Do?' bracelet here." Steph nodded as her eyes are remained on Grace's neck and forearms. They sure do look appealing.

Grace yawned, and ended up sitting on the floor. Steph had already placed some sort of old mattress on there, and simply covered with a bedsheet. "Man, I gotta bike back..." Steph looked at the girl while she complained, and smirked slightly. With an alluring look in her eyes, she turned Grace's head to look at her. "Ah, it's alright. Rest here for a bit, I won't bite."

Grace looked nervous at the offer. She had to go home, she wanted to go home. Yet, this girl... Steph, she just drew her in. Before she knew it, her mouth muttered the words yes, and the two kept on staring at each other. "Now Grace, I have to ask you a question. Do you know anything about vampires and the like?"

"...no? If it's some kind of like, band fans, then I have no idea about them."

Steph looked shocked at this admission, and tried to think through how she'll phrase this properly. In order to charm a human properly, you first need a good approach, don't you?

"Ok then. A vampire is.. a creature who preys on human blood. They usually hate the sunlight, garlic, and silver. Got it?" Grace nodded. "I do. How come you're telling me this?" "Will you believe me if I say that I am a vampire?"

Grace looked confused at the question. Was this girl playing some kind of cruel trick with her? But, like God commanded, answer truthfully. "Why would I? You sound kind of insane right now." Steph smirked, opening her mouth and baring her fangs. They're way too sharp and long to be just a regular humans, and she put her hair back behind her pointed, pierced ears. Grace looked a bit scared, she's never seen a person like this, but regardless, she wanted to know more.

Something keeps telling her she wants to know more.

"And look, Grace. I'm quite hungry right now. Would you mind if I.. just got a bit of your blood~?"

Steph asked, leaning closer towards Grace. The closer she got, the redder the other girl's face was. She then pushed her away slightly, hesitance in her voice. "I... I don't- will it hurt?" "Probably, Gracie. Do you want me to comfort your boo boo, then?" Grace blushed even more, unsure what this feeling is towards the mysterious girl and confused as to what's happening.

Look, Grace had some strong willpower. That's what you have when your dad's the town pastor, after all. However, when she offered her arm to Steph, who's presumably a "vampire," that might be the complete opposite fact. "Go- just take what you need..."

The vampire widened her eyes. From stories she's heard, people need a lot more convincing. But this pretty girl just offers up her arm and blood? Hey, at least it was easy to get a meal for Steph today.

She took Grace's arm gently, placing it near her mouth. Jesus, the smell of the blood really came out. Her mouth almost watered at simply the smell, but why sniff it instead of tasting it?

Steph's fang suck into the arm, Grace wincing slightly from the pain. As she sucked the blood, she couldn't believe the taste. She couldn't believe how energized she was. And she couldn't believe how insatiable the feeling was from getting this girl's blood was.

Grace watched as Steph sucked the blood out of her arm. It was a bit painful, but is it weird to say it somehow made her extremely tired and excited? She could see her blood dripping down her arm as Steph eagerly feasting on her. It's scary, but it's somehow so attractive at the same time. She could easily pull away- it's not even like she's forcing her too.

It's just that... the feeling in her stomach that she gets from simply seeing this girl means letting Steph doing whatever she wanted. After a few minutes of silence and blood sucking, Steph lifted her head from Grace's forearm, wiping the blood from her mouth with the back of her hand.

As Grace slowly put her arm down, Steph looked at her, longingly and hungry for more. Steph quietly said, "Do you- do you feel ok? Are you too hurt?" The other girl nodded no, and Steph stood up, walking around the room. On top of the fireplace, she rummaged through a little box and found a roll of bandages. Tearing a long piece of it off with her teeth, Steph began to tightly wrap the fabric onto Grace's forearm.

The feeling of Steph wrapping her arm with the bandage, hell the feeling of the wound itself? It all felt numb. Grace Chasity couldn't feel anything ever since Stephanie Lauter sucked her blood. All she knows is that it felt so damn good.

Finally tying the bandage off, Steph leaned back from Grace, letting her sit up. "Alright, let's see.." Steph stared into her eyes, rolling down both the button up and sweater sleeves, covering both of her arms. She stood up, offering a hand out to Grace so that she can also stand up beside her, "Now, I'm sorry pretty girl, but you can't remember this.. for a while. However," Steph paused for a second, twirling a big strand of Grace's hair.

"I have a feeling we'll meet again, won't we? You're of course, drawn to me, but somehow I am too. Even without drinking your blood, something intrigues me about you, Grace. Come back here next time, won't you~?"

As she let go of the other girl's hair, Grace simply smiled and started walking out. Steph hated the charm ability vampires had as she saw the girl leave. Sure, it benefits both her and the person who she charmed because now whoever she targets will have no recollection of what she's done. Yet, something about Grace made her want to have her remember tonight. She wanted Grace to recognize her face and know who left that mark on her forearm. Oh well, what can a girl like her do?

Sighing and lying on the mattress, she closes her eyes. That was good, no, great blood. That's settled. Great blood comes from the prettiest people. Who knew?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grace Chasity woke up the next day, in her bed and feeling somewhat extra tired. It was.. 2 in the afternoon? Huh. As she stood up and walked to the bathroom, she looked in the mirror. She didn't change at all from when she came back home yesterday from school. Thank goodness it was a Saturday, or else she would've gotten in big trouble with her parents.

As she turned on the faucet, she rolled up her sleeves so that the water wouldn't soak the fabric. The more she rolled her sleeves up, the more she saw that on her right arm, bandages tightly covered her forearm. Well that's.. odd.

Stopping for a minute, she pondered over how she got the bandage on her wrist. Staring at the blood covered and hastily wrapped fabric, Grace shook it off and began to start washing her face.

Eh, she must've fell while riding her bike.

[samingtonwilson]

Mac and Cheese

Summary: Bucky takes the last box of frozen mac and cheese, takes your phone, and makes you fall in love with him. The audacity of that man.

Prompt: “This has been a very bad week and you just grabbed the last box of my favorite comfort food at the supermarket” 

Pairing: bucky x reader

a/n: i wrote this and was fully done formatting it and everything, like, 6 months ago. i didn’t post it because it’s approx. 82% nonsense but i figured why not post it now when it’s still 82% nonsense but im struggling to finish everything else. so taal, long time vegan, writes a story about mac and cheese and, listen, idk what this fic is either. can i write a fic without adding sam to it? no.

Mac and cheese. That’s all you want. Disgusting, frozen, usually-quite-mushy-if-not-microwaved-correctly mac and fucking cheese. 

The kind with the layer of cheese on top. The kind with that real elbow pasta, not rotini or penne or seashell pasta— real macaroni. The kind you try to only eat one serving size of before you eat everything in the package. The kind you always gravitate to when your eyes are stained red, swollen, and too proud to be anything other than dry.

You take the subway. You switch lines. You endure the smell of the F train during rush hour when you aren’t sure where your thigh ends and the thigh of the woman sitting beside you begins. All for that one Trader Joe’s, out of many, in Brooklyn the hipsters abandon before six because the coffee shop next door closes at five.

Your feet ache in your boots and you’re pretty sure a rock has somehow lodged itself between your toes, it’s starting to rain and you have no umbrella, you don’t think your throat has ever felt so parched. 

But you tuck your phone into your back pocket and march into that store with the hideous overhead lighting that makes your skin look like it hasn’t seen a bottle of toner in days like you’re Hades, the box of mac and cheese is Persephone, and Trader Joe’s is Mount Olympus.

You aren’t planning on smiling at anyone in greeting. You aren’t planning on making eye contact with anyone. You aren’t even planning on waiting politely behind whoever is inevitably idly standing in front of the pasta section of the frozen aisle— you’re going to say, “Excuse me.” Like the badass, New Yorker, on-the-verge-of-tears bitch you are and you’re going to toss that mac and cheese into your basket like you’re Steph Curry at the NBA Finals.

Lines are long when you walk in, cashiers bored-looking and tired. The produce section is a jungle of stay at home fathers and people who make their own pressed juice, the salad display a mess of college students trying to eat healthy. 

Your eyes accidentally meet those of a toddler who is slyly plucking a grape from a bag he had no intention of spending his allowance on and you smile.

You hold your basket like a designer handbag and dilly-dally only for a moment to pick up some yogurt for breakfast tomorrow. 

And some inauthentic babka because there’s no way in hell you’re going to endure Zabar’s after this. 

And a package of olive oil popcorn, a bottle of three dollar chardonnay, and string cheese. 

But that’s it. Self-control.

You feel the chill of the frozen aisle before you step into it. You feel the magnetic pull of that box with only one step in its direction. You stop for just a second to grab the mini mango and cream pops.

You almost roll your eyes to yourself when you see that someone is indeed standing right in front of the frozen selection of pasta. He’s staring at two boxes— a red one in his gloved left hand and the one in his right hand green.

As you grow closer you notice behind his curtain of dark hair that his eyebrows are knit together and he’s frowning at a decision he must be forcing himself to make. 

Sophie’s Choice, but involving mediocre excuses for Italian food and no Nazis— hopefully. Because who really knows these days?

He wears a forest green hoodie under a black leather jacket, black jeans tight around thick thighs. Boots, too. You think you might swoon.

And you wait behind him. You tap your foot, shift your weight, and chew on your bottom lip. You don’t say anything.

He looks over his shoulder when you curse under your breath and set the heavy basket at your feet. He’s apologetic— and handsome— by the looks of it, blue eyes slightly widened and lips downturned. “Shit,” he says as he takes a few steps to the right. “I’m sorry.”

You shrug. You kick your basket with the toe of your boot until it lightly smacks against the bottom of the freezer. “No problem. It’s a big decision.”

His eyes lift from the boxes and he smiles. “Biggest one I’ve gotten to make in a while.”

Setting your hands atop the cold metal railing, you stare down into the freezer. You see farfalle with roasted tomatoes, rigatoni with pesto, ricotta and spinach ravioli, roasted vegetable lasagna, cauliflower gnocchi, chicken parm, and… an empty space. 

You tilt your head.

You lean away and crouch to read the description cards, looking for the bubble letters to tell you where on Earth your saving grace is. When you spot the card, you stand again. The indicated space is empty, your heart is empty, your will to live is—

A box of organic pesto tortellini is tossed back into the freezer and you look up. Your eyes might lose their prideful dryness at any moment, even in public next to that handsome stranger with the nice jacket and,

the box of mac and cheese.

You gasp audibly and leap backwards. You point at the box in his left hand.

With an expression of panic, he holds his hands— and the box— up in innocence. “It’s okay. I’m not—”

“What the fuck is that?” you shout to gain the attention of customers you don’t even perceive, waggling your finger at the box. Your wide-eyed stare, and bared teeth, and messy hair must be terrifying. You hope they are.

He looks down at his hand. An eyebrow lifts. And, confusedly, he asks, “The box?”

“Yes, the fucking box!”

“It’s mac and—” he meets your gaze again. You’re wearing your anger like armor. But you aren’t scared. Bucky thinks he might never have felt such relief at a woman’s anger. “It’s mac and cheese.”

You shake your head. Wildly. Your neck hurts. “It’s the last box of mac and cheese!”

He glances at the box, then back at you. He jabs his thumb over his shoulder. “They might have some in the back—”

You shake your head again. A hint of devastation cracks your voice as you say, “It’s Monday night. Trader Joe’s restocks Tuesday night. This is usually all they have left.”

“I—” He pauses. “Is this shit really that good—”

“No, it’s not but that’s not the point!” you’re shouting again. And crying. Oh, God, you’re crying. In public. “The point is my building is going co-op!”

He tilts his head. “Your building is—”

“And I have to buy my apartment if I want to keep it! And they don’t give raises at my job to women unless they’re willing to suck something I won’t say in front of that kid right there,” you nod toward a little girl in a pink raincoat with her pin straight black hair in pigtails who stares at you in bewilderment. You sniffle. “So I quit. And I’m proud of myself for it. Because I have integrity, and I have self-respect, and I have no gag reflex, so the rejection should kill my boss dead.”

He cracks a small smile when you let out a short, watery, pathetic laugh. Easily, he holds the box out to you. “I hope your boss is dead, too.”

You laugh again and don’t hesitate before taking the box. You wipe your cheeks with your sleeve. “Thank you. You’re nice.”

“Not a popular opinion, but one I’ll certainly take.” He’s smiling and it’s warm. “Sorry— about all that.”

“You’re apologizing to me? I just screamed at you in the Trader Joe’s freezer aisle over mac and cheese.”

He shakes his head and picks up his own basket when you grab yours. “Your building’s going co-op and your boss deserves to burn in hell. You should get all the mac and cheese you want.”

You reach into the freezer for that green box of tortellini he’d thrown in, tossing it into his basket with a smile. Steph Curry at the NBA Finals. “Still. I’m sorry for yelling and I hope the tortellini doesn’t suck too bad.”

“It’s frozen pasta. My expectations are low.”

You hum a laugh and walk past him to the crowded lines at the registers. “As they should be.”

It’s when you’re lost in the sea of customers and Bucky is deciding between frozen palak paneer and frozen lamb vindaloo with basmati rice that he feels a tug at the hem of his jacket. 

He looks away from the green and orange boxes, lowering his gaze to meet curious almond-shaped eyes beneath blunt black bangs. He smiles and she returns it. “Yes?”

She reveals her right hand, which she had hidden behind her pink raincoat, and holds a phone up to Bucky as far as her arm will let her.

“Is that your phone?”

She shakes her head and giggles. Loud, happy, and squeaky. “Yelling lady dropped her phone.”

Bucky’s eyebrows knit together until a woman, much closer to his height, steps behind the little girl. She takes the phone the girl holds out and offers it to Bucky when he straightens his posture. Her smile looks like the little girl’s. “We figured you would have a good chance at getting it back to her.”

He takes the phone and nods his thanks. Pressing the power button reveals a picture of you and a dog, a large, fluffy dog with its pink tongue hanging low. You’re smiling brightly and, oddly, it seems like the dog is, too.

—

“So you just took her phone? Didn’t even ask an employee to keep it there in case she came back for it?”

Bucky, watching the tray of pasta rotate in the microwave, scowls. “I would’ve if I’d known that was an option. And stop eating my fuckin’ chips.”

Sam tosses back another handful of kettle-cooked barbecue potato chips in defiance so the obnoxious crunching echoes through the kitchen. He smiles sarcastically when Bucky snatches the bag and rolls it up. Half is already gone. “You come up with how you’re gonna get it back to her?”

“Thinkin’ about asking Pepper to post a picture of it like it’s a missing child to that ‘Tweeter’ nonsense,” Bucky replies dryly. He’s glaring at Sam as he leans his hip against the counter. “You and I both know I haven’t come up with shit.”

Sam snorts and is smiling in amusement, deep brown eyes alight. Bucky hates the sight. “Tweeter. You’re so fuckin’ old.”

It’s been hours since Bucky took the phone from who he learned is little Vivienne and her mother, and he is no closer to getting it back to you. 

He’d tried looking for you at the store but there were too many people for a Trader Joe’s that Yelp claimed was the least busy in New York for that to yield results. So he returned to the Tower. He thought about asking Tony to look into the doohickey but figured an invasion of privacy should be the last resort.

He pulls the tray from the microwave with nimble vibranium fingers and sniffs the pasta before setting it down on the counter. He removes a bowl from one of the cabinets and dumps the steaming pasta in it, a sprinkle of freshly grated parmesan from a tub he’d bought— also at Trader Joe’s— a finishing touch.

“She’s cute,” Sam says when the screen lights up with an incoming text notification.

Bucky spins his fork between his fingers as he walks around the counter to sit on the barstool beside Sam’s. He glances at the phone as well. “Very cute,” he agrees. “She had a shitty day. Something about her apartment goin’ co-op. Whatever the hell that means.”

Sam frowns. “Means she’s gotta buy the place. And with New York real estate prices right now,” he shakes his head with a sigh. “She better have a well-paying job.”

“Quit that today, too.” Bucky takes a bite of the pasta and hisses as it burns his tongue. “Boss is a creep that asked for some action in exchange for a raise.”

“Jesus. Poor girl.”

The tortellini isn’t great. It’s a little bland, a bit too dry, and there isn’t enough filling— but it’s better than Bucky had expected. He takes another bite. “Yeah. And I took the last box of mac and cheese. Which is what she went to the store for.”

“I’m surprised your head wasn’t chopped off.”

Bucky smiles. “She yelled— a lot. Was crying, too, ‘til she said something and made herself laugh.”

Sam then begins teasing Bucky juvenilely for having a crush until both men are laughing and shoving one another to see who falls off their stool first, Sam only relenting when Bucky hands the potato chips to him again as a peace offering.

The bowl is in the sink and the chips are down to just crumbs when a loud ringtone— an instrumental version of an R&B song Bucky recognizes from Sam’s many plays of the original— shocks the two of them.

It’s from an unknown number and Bucky is unsure if he should pick up until Sam swipes answer and puts the call on speakerphone. “Hello?”

A sigh. Bucky doesn’t know if it’s one of relief or frustration. “I’m hoping whoever this is found my phone and didn’t steal it.”  

Sam shoves Bucky’s shoulder with a toothy grin and Bucky rolls his eyes. “The little girl you almost traumatized in the freezer aisle found it and gave it to me.”

Another sigh— the relief in this one is obvious— and you’re laughing. “It’s you— tortellini dude. Must’ve fallen when I crouched down.”

“Seems like it, yeah.”

“So are you gonna ask for my address or do I have to schlep over to Avengers Tower?”

Bucky and Sam exchange a look. “Avengers Tower?”

“You weren’t exactly in disguise— I realized who you are the minute I left the store. Would’ve recognized you right away but I was in my own head and you aren’t my favorite Avenger.”

Bucky smiles. “Yeah? And who is?”

“Falcon.”

Immediately, the phone is taken from Bucky’s hand. “Hi, baby, you’ve got Falcon.”

A gasp, a pause, then you laugh. Audibly stunned laughter. “You guys actually hang out with each other? That’s cute.”

Before Sam can reply, Bucky flicks his forehead— in reply to which Sam elbows Bucky’s ribs— and takes the phone back. “I can bring your phone to you whenever you’re free.”

“Awesome. I’m unemployed now so any time tomorrow is fine.”

You tell him your address before hanging up and he wishes you a good night. Your laughter is the last thing he hears before three beeps signify the end of the call.

—

Bucky takes the subway. He switches lines to the F train. He tries not to mind the overpowering smell of stale B.O. and deli meat leftover from rush hour, the skittering steps of a rat across the floor in the adjacent empty car. He ignores those who stare at him intensely enough to burn the fabric right off his skin. All for that one apartment in SoHo.

He thinks the gash below his ribs might still be leaking as the warm, moist subway station air blows past him. He can feel that cluster of bruises above his knee— the one from the pipe the hostile operative had ripped off the rickety walls of a nearly destroyed Hydra base— every time he takes a step, more so as he climbs the stairs.

He knows he must be quite a sight with combat boots and tac pants worn and dusty, a simple bomber jacket thrown over a ripped, sliced, stained compression tank. His mind is blank, his eyes shadowy, the ghost of something terrible lurking behind blue and grey. 

Posture stiff and muscles cold, steps crisp despite the ache, he follows the familiar path and manages to form the thought of turning around. Not bringing this all to a threshold— or, more accurately, a windowsill— he’s only crossed three or four times. He’s too weak, though.

It takes one rap of his knuckles against the third-story window for a lamp to flicker on, gauzy drapes pushed aside. You smile as he lifts the window open, stepping aside as he enters the apartment with careful grace. He feels less guilty when he sees that your bed is still made and your hair isn’t the tangled mess it usually is when he bursts in at a late hour.

“I have a door.”

“Okay, show-off.”

It’s when he steps into the light of the standing lamp in the room’s corner that your quiet laughter gives way to a soft gasp. 

He doesn’t like the widening of your eyes or the way you gently lift the right side of his jacket, fingers light against the torn fabric. But you laugh again, and it shakes in nervousness. “You know I’m not a doctor, right? Or a nurse? Or even a pharmacist with high self-efficacy?”

He nods and, despite himself, there’s a smile pulling at a corner of his lips. His eyes brighten a little. “It’ll heal itself.”

“Confidence. I like that in a burglar.”

Before he can take a step further into your bedroom, you click your tongue against the roof of your mouth and point at his feet. “Boots.”

He kicks them off with a sigh and a groan when the shifting of his knee sends a tremor up his leg. His jacket is tossed aside as well, and he catches the black t-shirt you throw to him. You’d washed it, folded it, and put it in your closet. 

Just a little more brightness. “You owe me mac and cheese.”

“Oh, I owe you mac and cheese? We’re really holding onto shit from four months ago?”

He nods again and pulls his tank off, withholding a wince.

Eyebrow raised, you cross your arms over your chest. You’re giving him a narrow look but, because you’re clearly struggling against a smile, it’s one of his favorites of the expressions you’ve ever offered him. 

You give him a towel next— pastel blue. “Shower and then we’ll see about me owing you something.”

He wants to say thank you, do more than smile. 

But he knows if he so much as opens his mouth while you’re looking at him the way you are, he’ll tell you he’s fallen in love with you over the last four months, that maybe he’s been in love since you screamed at him in the freezer section of Trade Joe’s. 

He’ll go to say thank you, but the words of a Byron poem he’d learned to impress a girl in his English class more than eighty years ago will come pouring out or he’ll simply kiss you like he wishes he could on the nights he can’t sleep or during the missions he can just barely endure. 

He’ll go to say thank you, and then tell you with no clarity whatsoever that you’re what he finds comfort in when he’s had a hard day. That the disgusting, mushy, nothing-compared-to-fresh mac and cheese is just an excuse.

But he just smiles. And nods. And takes a shower.

His hair is still wet as he stands across from you at the kitchen counter. There’s a bowl of steaming pasta between you, a spoon in his hand and a fork in yours. “You’re dripping onto the counter.”

With a cocking of his eyebrow, he shakes his head and you sputter a laugh, shoving his shoulder. “Bucky!”

He laughs then, fully and happily, as he reaches over to wipe the drops from your cheeks and forehead. You only smile back, the gleaming of your eyes making him feel warm all over.

“This shit’s terrible, by the way,” he says after a minute of staring.

You shrug a shoulder. “Told you.”

“And you fought me for it. Publicly.”

You shrug again and laugh. You lean your elbows atop the counter to match his relaxed posture, dragging a noodle through a particularly large puddle of melted cheese. 

Looking up, your nose nearly bumps Bucky’s and you hope he doesn’t hear your breath stall. You try to smile. “Makes me feel better when I need to fill that hole in my heart.”

“With cholesterol?” he jokes.

“Yes. It’s excellent. It’s like spackle.” As he laughs and you roll your eyes, you push off the counter to stand straight. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“Yeah?”

You hum. “I’m seeing an apartment I want tomorrow and need the rent lowered. And you’re the Winter Soldier.”

He considers that for a moment and you burst into laughter just as his eyes narrow into a fond glare. “You want me to scare them into lowering the rent?”

“Don’t think of it as you scaring them,” you begin, rounding the counter to stand next to him, hip leant against the marble, “think of it as you being an amazing friend and helping me.” A moment later you add, “By scaring them.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. He glances at the bowl to avoid the risk of staring at you for too long. “Fine.”

You grin. “You really take no convincing.”

A snort and he meets your gaze. “Only when it comes to you. I’m afraid you’ll start crying again.”

“So I could ask you for anything and you’d probably say yes?”

He shrugs a bit, then nods. Who is he kidding? You could ask for his right arm and he’d give it to you.

“Okay. Go on a date with me then.”

There’s a pause— in the conversation, in his chest. “A what?”

“A date. It’s like dinner, or coffee, or a movie, or something.” You grin when he takes half a step in your direction and his hands grip onto the counter at either side of you. “It’s this thing people do when they like each other.”

Something much more than like is in the sparkling of your eyes and the tilt of your head. Something that might match exactly what’s in his eyes whenever he’s around you. His insides burn at the thought.

“I know what a date is.”

“They had those back in your day?”

He nods and leans forward. “Not from the Stone Ages.”

Your lips brush lightly against his, hand set on his chest to feel the rapid beating beneath. You smile and he thinks he might melt. “Could’ve fooled me with that hair.”

Laughing, he presses his lips to yours a little harder.

—

Apartment littered with unpacked boxes, misplaced books, and askew furniture, you sit on top of the counter where Bucky works. He’s twirling a knife through his metal fingers, arranging sprigs of chives on the cutting board with the flesh ones. 

He smiles when he catches you staring at the pan cooling on the stove. “S’not done yet.”

You sigh. Loudly, heavily. “You took it out of the oven. That means it’s done.”

“It needs to cool for a few minutes or you’ll burn off your taste buds. You want to burn off your taste buds?”

“You want to burn off your taste buds?” you repeat in a high-pitched, taunting voice. You’re scowling and, somehow, look to be on the verge of snatching the knife from him to stab it through his chest. “Maybe I do.”

Less than a minute later, you groan and add, “I don’t care how good you are in bed. I’m about ten seconds from dumping you.”

Swiftly, he chops the chives and turns around to sprinkle a bit into the baking dish. “You know, most people would say thank you.”

“Most people don’t have to wait an hour while their boyfriend attempts to make mac and cheese when there’s a perfectly good box in the freezer that would take four minutes.”

“It’s worth it.”

In all honesty, he doesn’t know if it’s worth it. 

He’d asked Sam for a recipe and did his best to follow it despite the autocorrect which had changed “gruyere�� to “grape year.” But he trusts it since Sam generally knows what he’s doing in the kitchen. Unlike Steve who had continuously attempted to chime in with useless suggestions such as, “Maybe don’t add the paprika.”

“Just trust me,” he urges as if replying to the growling of your stomach which has interrupted his search for the plates he could’ve sworn he’d unpacked. He’s crouched and searching the lower cabinets as he adds, “You’ll fall in love with me after you try it.” 

“Who says I haven’t already?” 

He stops searching.

He peeks his head above the edge of the counter and, his eyes wide, he sees you pulling two plates from a box placed on the small nook table. Your smile is small and a bit sheepish— the latter something he’d never seen from you. 

“You never took them out,” you tell him, the clatter of ceramic on the wooden surface loud when you set the plates down. As you approach and he stands to his full height, you sigh and roll your eyes at the look he gives you. “Yes, I love you. It can’t be that shocking.”

“It isn’t.” 

“Someone should tell your face that.”

Chuckling over the heavy thumps in his chest, he leans forward to kiss you but pauses just to say, “I love you, too, by the way.” 

When an empty dish sits between the two of you, Bucky’s stomach warm and full of over three-quarters of it, you stand from the table and walk to the freezer. 

Shooting a smile over your shoulder, you grab the familiar red box and toss it into the stainless steel trash can. Steph Curry at the NBA Finals. “I’m never eating that shit again.”

[what-kinda-fuckery]

Hey so, I was one of the star struck falsettos stans that spent the forty dollars for the webinar, and I took notes (like a weirdo). So I decided I would share my funny moments and updates from the cast here!

- Host: Everyone should be keeping their audio off.

Christian: Oh alright!

Host: nO Christian not you

- Christians in Manhattan and his hair is back and he’s wearing a Superman t-shirt.

- Brandon is with his parents in NJ

- Stephanie and Brandon still love each other

- Brandon: Meat should be cooked just right

- Betsy: Stephanie are you in maple wood?

Stephanie: Well thank you for telling everyone where I am (she’s in NJ)

- Stephanie: Are you fucking kidding meee!!!

- Tracie is in LA, she looks like she’s in Costa Rica and I love her dog.

- Anthony’s VOICE IS LOW EVERYONES FREAKING OUT

they’re all talking about Anthony’s clear skin

- Andy Randy is in LA with a fresh haircut his boyfriend did it and he’s watching too much TV

Andrew: I’m watching this is America

Stephanie: SO GOOD

Andrew: SO GOOD

- Everyone’s having hard days

- Christian is acting out tracies dog’s pathetic bark and everyone’s like WHAT are you doing bc it looks like he’s about to throw up

- BETSY IS A WEEK AWAY FROM HAVINGA WHOLE CHILD

Betsy: What else do you do during a pandemic? Have a baby!

Andrew: Can I toss out another baby name? Celery.

Literally everyone: Goodnight Andrew goodbye!

- Christian is living with a girl (?) and playing board games instead of watching television

HE COOKS NOW EVERYONES PROUD OF HIM

Christian: yesterday I made pork filet en croute

Stephanie: I MADE PORK WITH SAGE AND APPLES ON WEDNESDAY

Stephanie: In mean girls they wear pink on wednesdays. In falsettos they make pork.

- I can’t get over Anthony’s voice

Again everyone returning to his literally perfect skin

- Stephanie: When watching four jews in a room in the beginning who’s in China?? I know the answer I just want to hear someone say it.

Andrew, with a thick accent: It was Bryna, in China, with a torn miniscus

- Christian: Did anything interesting make it on to the telecast between me and you? Andrew? Actually I dont remember I need to do my research.

Andrew: There’s been some strange comments about Christian and I- (AT THIS POINT IM WHEEZING)

HE MENTIONED THE TONY BONY

HE SAID IT WASNT A THING

HE DIDNT HAVE ONE

Andrew: No that’s not a thing that happened

Brandon: Andrew i want you to know that it’s okay if it was. It’s a safe space just the seven of us. (Lol)

- Bill Finn would take two steps into the room: “WROONG”

Stephanie: he wanted me to sing the end of I’m breaking down up the octave and I said #notmytrina

Brandon: #NOTMYTRINA

- Tracie what did you do during act 1

Tracie: Betsy and I sat in that dressing room for like an hour and a half

Andrew: You SANG the WHOLE SHOW TRACIE

- Betsy watched parts of the first act to feel like she was there

- Betsy sprained both her ankles at one point during the run and was a trooper anyways

Brandon reenacting Betsy limping during look look look look

Everyone dies laughing

Christians LAUGH makes me SO HAPPY

- Betsys screen is frozen like this: 🤨

Andrew: What if she went into labor??? (This is a common thread throughout the zoom)

- Anthony: I’m getting a lot of glitching so Stephanie is just like “HUH UH UH UH”

- Betsy comes back and everyone is like

YOU GUYS ITS COMING!!!

- They bought Andrew an ice cream for his birthday from the vending machine at rehearsal

- Andrew: The Hawaii crop top

Betsy: I would give anything to have that

- Tracie: it was very hard. Very precise bringing the blocks together

Brandon: Trying to be like oh my god we’re going to a funeral

Andrew: MY DEATH IT WAS MY DEATH

- fan question: What did the blocks weigh?

Stephanie: They were like thick yoga blocks. Not heavy but awkward shaped

Andrew: Significantly heavier when Anthony sat on them

Anthony: I just realized how much I got thrown around

Stephanie: Anthony were you proud of yourself? #proudofyou

Anthony: The one moment I was cringing was father and son

Christian: HERE WE GO *SLAPS TABLE*

Betsy: Anthony’s like BLAH BLAH BLAH blah my line BLAH BLAH BLAH my line BLAH BLAH

Christian: I LEAVE THE PAUSE IF YOU CANT GET IN THATS ON YOU

Anthony: I was blinking in that number like constantly

Christian: THE WHOLE THING LIKE A SALAMANDER

Oh Anthony.

- Andrew: I HAVE A STORY ABOUT CHRISTIAN BORLE. Tech for what more can i say. He was laying on me. We were shirtless in underpants under the blankets.

Christian: SLOWER

Andrew: he leaned over; He sniffed his armpit and said “I hope you like France”

EVERYONE DIES LAUGHING INCLUDING ME

Christian: i haven’t worn deodorant in 10 years true story

- Christian: i seem to remember holding our pillows and blankets pretending like we were partying on fyre island and Andrew said:

Andrew: WHATS YOUR NAME???

Christian: No no it was something like:

WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN??

Andrew: WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN???

Betsy: James lupine I feel like we’re ruining this show

- Andrew: The shenanigans were real but so was the sadness

Stephanie: We’re real and we’re funny what you gonna do

- Andrew talking about how hard the show was to do: Finding some liberty, It’s a hard world to live in all the time. It was a hard time especially for Christian. I would sometimes go home and cry for no reason

Brandon: Building up emotion with nowhere to put it

Betsy: then Lesbians come in and provide all the levity

Stephanie: Although Dr. Charlotte brings in horrible news

Tracie: Everything’s beautiful at what more can i say and I’m like not so fast

- Tracie always had a funny thing to say

- Who broke character the most on stage?

Anthony Stephanie and Christian

Anthony: it was when I said “I don’t want a bar mitzvah” and I spit in your face a lot and you went like *puts arms up* and someone at stage door was like very condescending like it’s not professional

Christian: Oh my bad we’re people sorry

- Stephanie wrote a line in the show “YOU HAVE PAINTINGS OF DICKS”

- James wanted her to cut off her finger during I’m breaking down

And turn around with a bandaged bloody finger

- Betsy’s nose bleeding during something bad is happening

And Tracie was like something BAD IS HAPPENING

Tracie: Christians throwing up right now

Betsy: Bloody Kleenex up the nose THE SHOW MUST GO ON

- Fan question: Stephanie how do you belt with a banana in your mouth

Christian: Practice practice practice

Stephanie: just shove it in your cheek. But Really that wasn’t supposed to happen

Anthony’s nickname in the rehearsal room was little bananas because he had to gather up all the pieces of stuff after Stephanie shoved the table over with her rear. Sometimes he didn’t have enough time to put it somewhere so he would just put the pieces of banana in his mouth and that’s where it came from

That’s why

- Andrew: Stephanie your glasses are very chic

Stephanie: Oh my gosh thank you *shocked*

- Betsy: Bill was like I’d rather DIE than change lyrics for the pbs special

FLaT aS a LaKe

- Cue everyone accidentally talking over each other and saying what at each other for 30 seconds

Christian: what? what? what?

Who is it?

What’s going on?

- If you could play anyone else in the show who would it be

Anthony said Mendel

Tracie said Mendel

Brandon said Trina

Andrew said marvin

Betsy said whizzer

Stephanie said Mendel

And I honestly couldn’t hear if Christian said anything whoops

- Brandon: If someone could at some point explain to me the Mendel eats dirt meme? People have been Asking me if Mendel eats dirt? I don’t think it’s about Trina Trina is not the dirt. I was overwhelmed. Can someone in the Q&A explain this? *A few seconds later* oh It was from a meme generator?

Christian: Greaat.

Brandon: It’s a fan fiction about Mendel eating dirt and getting aroused by it

Everyone: WHAT

- They still get fan art

Someone recreated the whole soundtrack 8bit and also with KAZOOS

- Brandon: CONGRATS CHRISTIAN ON LULOS WIN FOR LITTLE SHOP. If you haven’t seen Christian in little shop it’s revelatory I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass I have not laughed that hard in a while at the theatre

- Christian talking about little shop

Christian has a 12 inch Batman toy in his dressing room and he misses it

- Ticket prices were getting out of control before corona everyones hoping this will make a difference

Brandon and everyone think it should get more accessible

- Brandon: Hear hear I need a refill

- Stephanie: Your hair looks incredible Brandon (it did)

Christian: She’s been waiting to talk about it for 53 minutes

- Andrew: Well Betsy what I’m wondering is have you crowned yet??

Proceed everyone dying

Brandon, taking a picture of the screen: This moment will go down in history as When Betsy was asked if she was crowning

- Everyone mimicking zoom freezing by starting a sentence and freezing halfway through

- Christian: What new Steven sondheim musical are you excited about Anthony *devilish grin*

Anthony having no idea what Christian is talking about

Christian: Come on Anthony you know the answer. Ugh. The minds of the young. You’re smoking pot now aren’t you??

Christian: We have a lot of fun

- Andrew: I’m trying to get people to pay attention to me

- Christians pretending to be frozen

Cue a lot of yelling: Stephanie BRANDON STEPHANIE

NO CHRISTIAN

Everyone accusing each other of being frozen

NO YOURE FROZEN

- Andrew: Let’s all act like we’re frozen

Steph: I see Andrew acting like hes frozen

Betsy: Watching you do that is killing me

- Listening to the cast recording for the first time together

Stephanie: Why was I the a-hole that couldn’t be there???

Christian: That’s a question only you can answer

- Betsys husband came in everyones like BETSY LOOK OUT

Christian: that scared the shit out of me

- What is marvins last name and what was his line of work

Christian: we definitely said it at some point right? (They didnt) but he was in advertising. What was the last name? Gardens? O’Malley?

- Andrew: Betsys gone oh no

Betsy: I’m right here!!!

Andrew: She’s giving birth (again)

Stephanie: Betsy Wolfe is a ceiling

- Brandon: Welcome back Anthony. You’re here now.

Anthony singing merrily we roll along over Betsy trying to tell a story

Christian: STOP SMOKING POT IN YOUR BEDROOM ANTHONY

- Betsy: Steve (Steven Sondheim) comes to the door I call him steve

Into the woods is the reason Betsy is in theatre

- Betsy: Andrew was nervous singing at the tonys for Book of Mormon and he got dry mouth he sang like 😬I BELIEVE and he licked his lips so much during the song.

Brandon: Did you have a boner then too?

Andrew: GUYS DONT BE DICKS

Stephanie: It’ll be like dry mouth, boner

Andrew: BETSY YOU FUCKIN BITCH ITS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD

Stephanie: Bets maybe we should wrap it up

- Brandon sings MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

EVERYONE TELLING HIM TO STOP SINGING I took a video it was beautiful might post that later

- “Tracie Thomas from Lent!”

Tracie having stage fright

Tracie: Billy porter said “oh child we all forget the words” and walked away

- Anthony said WHO SHAT THE BED in four jews once

Anthony: That’s my contribution. Steph got her line, I got who shat the bed

- Steph: We lost andrew oh no

Christian: Um, we lost andrew ten minutes ago. Yeah when Brandon started singing

- Then Betsy sang a song by Bill Finn beautiful

- Steph: Wear your masks and eat pork on wednesdays

That was it!! I hope you enjoyed and people who were there if I got anything wrong that’s my human error it was hard to note everything I wanted to. Smooches! Byee

[hockeybabestars]

New Year, Same Us - Auston Matthews - Ten

a/n: guys, we’ve come to the end. apologies for not going on schedule with this chapter, i had break and then i was back at school studying for finals. i hope that you guys enoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! this is the longest story i’ve wrote that i’ve actually finished so i’m proud of it! i’m gonna finish up my winter prompts (and maybe write a few more for funsies) and then im going to focus on stories i have in progress/ coming up! thank you for sticking with this story ! last but not least check out my wattpad for a bonus/alternate scene from this story!! same username : hockeybabestars

April 14, 2019 : Epilogue 

“Babe?” Auston yelled from our room.

“What?” I popped the toast out of the toaster and mashed up some avocado on top, doing so with a little pep in my step. It just felt like a good morning. It was decently early, and the open concept windows of our apartment helped me wake up a little better as I put on my favorite playlist. The giddy smile that hadn’t left my face since we got together was still on full display.

“Come backkkk.” He whined. I was almost like I could picture him plopping down onto messy white sheets and groaning in annoyance- oh wait I can actually hear that.

“No you come here!” I smile knowing that he will. He can’t say no, so I wait. There was a pause and then I hear the padding of his feet as he comes into the kitchen where I’m making breakfast. His t-shirt falls to my mid thigh but rises up higher as he wraps his arms around my waist from behind. He nuzzled his face into my neck and I squirm a little as it tickles, especially with his scruff of a mustache.

“Good morning.” He plants kisses across the exposed skin on my collar bone as I turn to face him, properly greeting my boyfriend.

I kissed his lips, lingering a little before replying, “glad to see you’re up.”

“Yeah well we both could’ve been back in bed just saying.” He playfully shrugs and I laugh, “your loss.” He goes to the fridge pulling out some orange juice as he pours us a glass and I make some scrambled eggs. It was peaceful, being with him like this. Things weren’t really all that different, except now we got to kiss each other and sleep in the same bed.

“I’m not really missing out.” I joke.

“Oh really?” He smirked, sitting down at the island and I could already sense the competitive nature coming out in him as I finished making breakfast.

“What?” I grinned.

“Get over here and I’ll show you what you’re missing.”

“Bring it on Matthews.” I sauntered over to him, teasing him as he placed his hands on my hips and looked up at me, “go ahead, show me what I’m missing.”

He yanked me down into his lap and I yelped as he peppered light kisses all over my face and neck while simultaneously tickling my waist. I giggled and leaned away, “stop!” I laugh, “seriously stop before we topple over- eek!” The bar stools were anything but steady as we swayed over it. “You secretly love it.” he said as we caught our breaths. And I did, secretly love this, the lazy mornings with him, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. I only smiled as I went to grab the eggs and toast I made before he interrupted the productive groove I was in. 

I set our plates down but before I took a bite I gave him one last kiss, just because I could. And it’s so good, so sweet, so right, I’m still not used to it. The butterflies were alight in my stomach as I pull away and sit down before he looks at me funny. 

“What?” I asked finally taking a bite of my avo toast.

“I can’t believe you’re mine.” 

“Don’t be cheesy Aus.” But the blush on my face probably gives me away. And maybe the slight smile too.

He sticks his tongue out at me and I laugh at his childish nature. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” I stick my tongue out too. 

He hums in acknowledgement, and kisses me on the cheek this time before muttering a “thanks for breakfast” and digging in.

-

It was weird at first, to say the least. When Mitch invited a couple of us to have a bonfire at his parents house I really didn’t know what to expect. It wasn’t at least half the team and their significant others that’s for sure. 

The fire was blazing as I zipped up my coat, going to find Auston in one of those adirondack chairs talking to Freddie in an identical one next to him. He smiled as I walked up and sat down in his lap facing Freddie. Freddie just grinned and I could feel Aus looking at me and whatever they were talking about before I got there seemed to cease. 

“What?” I looked at him and he was already smiling, his gaze glancing down to my lips. “Nothing.” He leaned in and gave me a sweet peck. 

“I always knew you guys would end up together.” Freddie stated. He let a little half smile grace his features.

“You did? Cause I didn’t.” I grinned. Auston swatted my hand lightly and then let his hand rest on my upper thigh.

“You two were so obvious before you both even realized that you had feelings for each other. I’m just glad you put yourselves out of your misery.” He gave the two of us a side smile, “or at least everyone else out of theirs.” We both had a chuckle at that.

“It wasn’t that obvious.” I tried playing it off but apparently Kappy caught wind of our conversation as he was passing and decided to invite himself in. “Yes it was.”

“Kap!” I whined, turning my mouth into a pout.

“Oh you weren’t too crazy.” He leaned up against Fred’s chair and gave Auston a little point, “I was talking about him.”

“Oh shut it.” He laughed and wrapped my arms around him and hugged him to me tighter. “You had a wittle crush?” I taunted, laughing as he tried to shake his head no and Kappy and Freddie were shaking theirs violently yes.

“(Y/N/N) the last month before New Years was the worst! He was all, ‘I wonder what (Y/N) will think about my outfit, I wonder what she’ll think of my goal, I should call her, when is she gonna call me?’ Blah blah blah.” Kap rolled his eyes and I looked at Auston to see his face was a little flushed.

“Alright detective we get the picture.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna go find some stuff to make s’mores.” 

“Kappy wait!” I called and he turned around raising a brow. “What was that bet you and Willy made at the bar that one time? Christmas I think?” 

He laughed and gave me a little ‘tsk‘ , “I told you (Y/N/N)!” He crosses his heart and my eyes were already rolling, “I know, I know!” And we simultaneously said “leafs honor.”

Auston looked at me confused but I just patted him on the shoulder, “I know as much as you do dude.” And he snorted at that.

“It’s cute ya know.” I continued, running my fingers through his hair, twirling the ends, “That you care that much. I never knew these things so it’s nice to hear.” An easy smile fell on my lips as those brown eyes looked into mine. 

He leaned in and gave me another kiss on the lips, and just as I was about to pull away he pulled me back tighter and I smiled against his lips. “Get a room you too!” Mitch yelled.

“Are you sure it’s okay in your parents house?” Auston chirped back and I burst into a fit of giggles along with everyone else at the look on Mitch's face. 

“You wouldn’t.”

“Your childhood bedroom have a lock on it?” He smirked and elbowed him maybe a little too hard on that one. “Auston!” Although the laughter ricocheted around the backyard.

“Baby ow!”

“That didn’t hurt, and that’s weird!!”

“I’m only teasing.” But the smirk was there all the same.

“Sure you are.” Steph laughed.

It was nice having everyone gathered so close. It felt like a home away from home, but I knew I had already found mine long before we came to Toronto. It took forever but the build ended up being worth it in the end. No matter where we go, or how far along we get on our journey, we’re always going to be the same us.

[brown-rice]

Tagged by @cafe-et-tiramisu for the “Truths Tag” thing  (*・∀-)☆  

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you respond with truths about you and choose 25 people to be tagged.

Tagging @transbakugoukatsuki @rmxstudiojd @leetaliel @kronchip @disney-princess-izuku @bean-paste-man @maytheamazing if you wanna do it.

I wrote so much OTL

Last:

Drink: Earl grey tea + milk

Phone Call: My sister telling me she was outside w/ my boba and food

Text Message: From my new friend Dean asking for help on the lab and about watching Violet Evergarden

Song you listened to: Kyouran Hey Kids!! - The Oral Cigarettes

Time you cried: Uhhhhh Tuesday morning having a meltdown over my midterms :^)

Have you ever:

Dated someone twice: If cheesy middle school romances count, then yeah 

Been cheated on: Hmm, no even tho we were together all but in name

Kissed someone and regretted it: OML YEAH FUCK THAT GUY FROM AX 

Lost someone special: Oh yep, last year I lost a lot of close friends b/c we’d just grown too far apart and they didn’t care about me anymore

Been depressed: /sweats nervously

Been drunk and thrown up: During fam reveal, I went too hard and overdid it, but was also proud b/c my limit is higher than I thought it would be KEK

In the past year have you:

Made a new friend: I made quite a few chill friends from the server and have slowly been making friends here and there at school!

Fallen out of love: I think so, I was in love w/ my childhood friend for a long amount of time, but I feel alright about it now 

Met someone who changed you?: I don’t think I’ve met just one person who changed me since the “me” now is a culmination of my experiences/interactions w/ a lot of people

Found out who your true friends are: Sort of, although a little unfortunately haha. I’m thankful for those that did stick by me, but it resulted in me realizing that some people I thought would be a “true friend” were just taking advantage of me. srry im still a little salty/bitter abt this but im working thru it

Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah? Past hs me would have been really mad about it, but current me doesn’t care enough lol

General:

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: I know quite a few friends from band and high school, my server friends (who I’ve seen in pics or have heard in calls), and mutuals I’ve messaged

Do you have any pets?: YES I LOVE MY DOG HACHI, we also have a lot of fish in tanks and the koi pond back home. By extension, my roommate’s cat Sake is pretty much my cat now huehueh

Do you want to change your name?: Nope, I’ve never been much fixated on it besides how long my full name is

What time did you wake up this morning?: I technically didn’t sleep since I was studying for my ochem midterm and i got my ass handed to me in test form anyway

What were you doing last night?: procrastinating, lab hw, and studying for ochem

Name something you cannot wait for: On a smaller scale: AX. Long term: I just wanna be out of school, in a job that I kinda like and is stable enough so that I can commission all my friends and finally have a place of my own that I can decorate and call home without feeling lonely or suffocated 

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: My brother-in-law’s name is Tom haha

What’s getting on your nerves right now?: Mainly classes and school since I still feel wrong about my career path, I had to drop a class, and my anal chem lab is frustrating the shit out of me. I miss cc

Blood type: I’m pretty sure it’s O+, but it could be O-

Nickname: Besides “Steph,” I’ve had a lot of nicknames over the years. Memorable ones are Stephie/Stephy, Steve, Vending Machine, Beanie Head, and “mom.” Neko and Mocha told me to add “daddy” and I die a little inside

Relationship status: Single and don’t really care to mingle LMAO

Zodiac sign: Ox and Cancer w/ Gemini ascendant 

Pronouns: She/her, but don’t mind they/them

Favorite show: If we’re talking actual TV then Friends, B99, ATLA, Chopped, Voltron, Gravity Falls, and Danny Phantom. If it’s anime then /sweats as I look at all these shows 

College: Transfer student from Mt. Sac now going to UCSD and i wanna mcfuckin die ayyy lmao

Hair color: It’s dark brown/black w/ light brown where the sun hits

Do you have a crush on someone?: Currently no, but I am low key flirting with Dean oops

What do you like about yourself?: Maybe the fact that it’s very hard to make me legit mad, but beyond that /sweats profusely

Firsts:

First surgery: Unless wisdom teeth removal counts, none yet

First Piercing: My mom got my ears pierced when I was like 1

First sport you joined: I think I took karate for a little in 4th grade?? I joined tennis and marching band at the same time officially in 8th grade

First vacation: Hmmm, I think I remember one of the first things we did when we came to America was go to Disneyland

First pair of sneakers: Oddly enough I remember my little slip-on Sketchers that were purple and white with pink, purple, and blue flowers

Right now:

Eating: Dino nuggets /w bbq sauce, and I might make some noodles b/c I’m still so hungry oml

Drinking: A fresh cup of early grey + milk

Listening to: Whatever’s playing in the DJ booth, which is Reach You - Sako Tomohisa

Want kids?: At some point yeah, I’m also pretty sure I’m gonna adopt at least 1 kid whether I have my own or not

Get married?: Maybe. That’s a problem for future me, but if I happen to meet someone(s) good for me, then sure

Career: After bouncing around a bit, I think I’ve settled into chemistry for forensics w/ specialization in pharmacology and toxicology. It still doesn’t feel quite right to me, but it’s the best I’ve got

Which is better?:

Lips or eyes?: Eyes, since I think eye contact can tell you a lot about a person

Hugs or kisses?: Hugs, but I’m big on personal space and barely accept hugs from even my closest friends, plus there’s some weird belief that I don’t like hugs?? and idk where that came from

Shorter or taller: I oddly like being the shortest person in a group?? So I prefer if people are taller than me

Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker, I really can’t stand it when people are super hesitant or can’t make decisions. I’m rly tired of having to make decisions all the time

Romantic or spontaneous: Both, but I think I lean a little more towards spontaneity since I’m a person who likes careful planning. Romance is whatever for me, so I’d rather have someone push me to be a little more spontaneous

Sensitive or loud: A balance of both would be preferable, but if I had to pick, then loud. I’m a lot more introverted than I was before and prefer if people are a little more extroverted than I am but have a level of chill where silences are comfortable

Hookup or relationship?: Relationship. I don’t really do hookups. I know I could, and I’ve been asked to before, but I’m not really big on sex

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger: Technically AX boy counts b/c I met him 2 days before we made out lmao

Drank hard liquor: Yeah, but I’m not super big on drinking and just enjoy a smirnoff ice/mike’s hard every so often

Lost contacts/glasses: Nope, surprisingly I haven’t lost my glasses yet

Sex on first date: Likely never, they’d have to be someone who I mesh with super well for that to happen

Broken someone’s heart: A few yeah. Apparently I broke my friend’s roommate so bad that every time he’d drink he’d just talk about how I was the one who got away

Been arrested: Not yet

Turned someone down: /sweats Yeah, a lot. I don’t mean this in a bragging way, because I always feel ridiculously bad about it, but my friends joke about me being “unattainable” and a heart-breaker all the time _(:3」∠)_

Fallen for a friend: I’ve only ever fallen for close friends oops

Do you believe:

In yourself?: Not at all

Love at first sight?: I think it’s out there, just not for me

[audiovisualrecall]

And it's like, okay so you lived on ur own in Florida and did all of that yourself so you dont want to have to do it. But it's called being considerate towards the people you live with????? Try considering it like... treat your parents better than a roommate - if you're not considerate towards a roommate and leave all the chores to them and act like ur work is harder than their, they would be rightfully upset, and you couldnt offer to pay more rent to get them off ur back. As an adult you should not treat your parents the same way a child does - if you're a kid it makes sense go expect your parents to do stuff and whine if asked to help out, but as an adult??? Itd be one thing to say, I spend so much of my energy at work that even getting my own laundry done is hard right now, I can try to help out more but I'm having a hard time with stuff. Idk if ma would understand but I'd go and talk to ma on her behalf to get her to understand better. But no, steph tells and bitches and says shitty things, and its like?? Trust me I understand more than most about not having the spoons for anything when u get home from work or on your days off, I get it, and I dont have a social life because I fail with that work-life balance too. But for me helping out is important and sometimes I dont want to do stuff and complain. But I consider the household stuff on equal footing with, like, my etsy shop. I have responsibilities, and I'll do my best to take care of them. Ma and dad have had many more years to acquire the ability to do all these things and it still frustrates ma that she cant manage to upkeep stuff as much as she'd like to, because even they dont always have the spoons/energy for some of it, and sometimes no one takes the garbage out on garbage day or the dishes pile up for 2+ days, and that's just life. So yeah, needing some time, not being able to do it right now, that's okay, but explain, dont yell at ma bc she asked you to sometimes do some dishes or sweep, dont say stupid rude shit to her or me about her bc I'm not going to agree with you. Ma being like can you help out more around the house may stress steph out and make her feel guilty but she shouldnt react the way she does. And she did all of it for herself in Florida so somehow she thinks shes done enough of it or something idefk. (Note that She came home bc she lost the job in florida over something dumb, and it is a good thing she came home bc she wouldnt have done anything abt the lump and then wouldnt have gotten the chemo and such before it could get worse, and she has had a really hard couple of years now, going thru cancer treatment and dealing with all of it, and then the pandemic hit, and now she is trying to build a relationship when both of them have their own issues and it's going really well because shes trying really hard with him, and shes also trying to get a promotion at work)

So like... I get it, I'm always sympathetic and I understand, but she just makes it really hard to defend her or explain to ma so ma doesnt react in a way that steph will just feed off of and everyone will end up upset and mad and feel they were wronged. Steph reacts with anger that is out of proportion, with self righteous energy, and it's like, try to slow down and think of what ma's actually saying, and not just react to the guilty stressed feeling that is in herself and explode at ma.

The parentals deal with me reacting and yelling and my meltdowns and stuff bc in between I fucking try, and I apologize, and I do my best to push past how I feel - guilty, upset, angry, proud - and do what will mend things, fix it, resolve it. I work hard on my behavior, and sometimes I screw up and it causes problems, but steph doesn't try with the parentals, they only get her reacting by yelling or snapping. I might apologize for snapping and explain that im stressed and didnt mean to explode on them. Steph wont. She expects them to react badly, to make her feel guilty, to complain, to have no patience for her, but she does things and behaves in ways that are self fulfilling that prophesy, she expects ma to react a certain way and in doing so acts in a way that causes ma to react, and she has no clue and has such black and white thinking that if its something she did then it means it's her FAULT or people are blaming her and gets all caught up in feeling defensive over that. You tell me my behavior is causing conflicts? If its in the moment and im still mad I might snarl and act defensive or refuse to change my behavior bc why am I the only one making an effort? but I do calm down and go okay, and try to work on it. I hold my tongue sometimes instead of reacting. If I know im stressed I tell them that. If I have a lot of stuff to take care of and cant do stuff like around the house that day, I explain. I make time for stuff. I listen to steph ramble bc it makes her happy for someone to listen to her, but she always gets angry when I eventually have to be like ok I gotta leave/go downstairs/go to bed im sorry.

Shes just....frustrating. she's so stuck in certain behaviors. I've been home for years while she was away at college and then in Florida, and me and ma and dad changed and worked on stuff, and steph comes back in with behaviors from the past, shes stuck and cant move forward with them, and she views them in such a childish way? I'm a part of the household and steph just wants to live here and eat the food and use the laundry and dishes and storage and our time and attention without returning anything. Or at least it feels that way. I'd be a terrible roommate bc I hate doing dishes and I often leave stuff to pile up, but I also will do it.

Idk.

I also know that steph got a medication recently that makes her act like shes PMSing, so.

And people when they feel guilty and defensive and angry, say stupid shit that they dont really think. I've said some really stupid shit myself, to them or just under my breath. I dont think her ranting at me and saying that means she necessarily really thinks the things she said. But. I think she did feel that way in the past and its still just there rattling around her head waiting for her to be angry to rise up. She needs to see a fricken therapist, basically is what im saying. Ffs. I know her, I love her, and with her behavior with her bf I know she is capable of changing and working on her issues and stuff. But I guess home is a place to let your hair down and not try - she has to restrain herself from reacting at work bc job, and she has to work on stuff with jacob bc relationships take work. But she doesnt want to make effort at home, with us, with our parents, and that's not fair to them. Like how I let my relationships with friends go by the wayside to focus on managing school, my own brain and my issues, and working on my stuff with my parents, and then work, steph is letting her relationship with our parents be the thing that isnt important enough. And maybe that makes sense, I mean, they wont be around forever, so other relationships are maybe more important... but that's still like 20 years at least? I have lots of time to work on having it all, to have the work and fhe friends and all, but I live with my parents, and so that relationship was the most important for a long time, and still is a priority for me, equal to other stuff. Idk

[barbarasminerva-remade]

dc heroes highschool au

so i was thinking about this and its my new baby but its really long so im putting part of it under a read more

the school is called justice academy and the school colors are blue, white and gold

theres a martial arts class at their school that bruce teaches bc he’s lonely and we all know he doesn’t have a real job

clark is the lunch lady who reminds kids to eat their vegetables

everything made in the caf is grown in the school garden that he has and he shames kids into not picking the unhealthy foods

bruce is smashing the lunch lady aka clark n he thinks no one knows but really the whole school gossips about how rich dude/part time gym teacher bruce wayne is banging sweet lunch lady clark

also clark and lois have an open marriage so they don’t have to hide their relationship but bruce is like........yeah but i don’t want ppl to know i’m dating someone who says y'all'd've'st

Kon HATES it bc he and tim are also dating

diana is the wrestling coach and everyone marvels at how good she is except donna and cassie (bc thats donnas mom and cassie’s aunt and she  loves to embarrass them) n she’s known for having a rivalry with her the arkham academy coach, barbara minerva, aka her ex girlfriend

also diana is an ancient/world history teacher teaching history as it happened

Diana during the first day of class: The common theme in world history is that White Men Ruin Everything 

donna is captain of the wrestling team

she’s really good and everyone on the wrestling team aspires to be her and everyone on the rival school’s (arkham academy) team wants to beat her

kory was an exchange student during her freshman year and eventually decides to stay. she’s cheer captain but also known for arguing for equality and stages like school walkouts and things and no one ever challenges her bc she’s tall and buff and her gf is the captain of the wrestling team

wally runs track and field

wally is iris's nephew and barry and iris met at a track meet when iris came to pick him up and he was like hey wally what's ur aunt's number? and wally was like ‘sorry coach barry my aunt isn’t looking rn’ bc he thought it’d be weird if his coach dated his aunt but barry shoots his shot anyways and now barry and iris are engaged

also wally is a senior n bart is a freshman so when barry makes bart co-captain wally is like what the fuck is the point of you being engaged to my aunt if i dont get nepotism?????? n barry's like wally he's ur cousin and wally's like not if he steals my scholarships and they fight a lot but they l*ve each other 

roy is president of the archery club with his sorta sister artemis crock and jason is a lit nerd who roy flirts with but jason just thinks he wants homework so he ignores him

roy struggles with being a good dad while also fighting his addiction and work part time to try and save up for college after ollie kicked him out all on top of being a senior in high school

artemis is good friends w mia and conner bc first they were in the archery club together and then she joins the family after jade has lian and she’s like i’m sorry jade is vicious and tries to help out with lian as much as possible and mia and conner respect that

artemis is a really good aunt, she loves lian so much and spends all of her pocket money on taking her niece places. she ditches school to get slurpees w her girlfriends zatanna and m’gann. m’gann helps her study for her classes and with her homework. both make sure she stays in school cause artemis almost flunks out at one point bc of family stuff. also artemis is in lit club bc Z is in it and she supports her

jason lives in an apartment and he makes bruce pay for it as reparations for being a bad dad. but he also works bc he’ll be damned if he has to live off of bruce’s money permanently and eventually starts paying for his own bills and stuff

dick is captain of the gymnastics team and he’s really good. he’s the best in the region and has only ever lost a meet once (which was nationals, he came 2nd place)

tiger, dick, and helena went to summer camp together. tiger doesn’t go to their school, he goes to a gotham boarding school and dick sneaks into his room at night to hang out/make out and tiger comes to dick’s meets and helena tags along

also wally has a big crush on dick and he has since they were kids and dick liked him too. but wally thought dick wasn’t interested so he never went for it and then dick being dick just moved on and now wally just pines after him and it’s sad :/

damian is a snot nose 9 year old kid who hangs around the gymnastic team’s practices to hang out with his big bro and he sneers at the team and says he could do it better (which he can)

the summer before jason’s sophomore year he disappears after an incident and no one knows what happened to him but afterwards bruce sends him to boarding school to correct his behavior (which is where he meets amazon artemis and bizarro) until jason says fuck this and comes back junior year and everyone spread rumors that he like died while he was gone bc no one ever saw him so when he returned everyone was like :O and dick is really excited he’s back but jason is pissed at him bc he didn’t like support jason in fighting w bruce to let him stay

jason has bruce’s number blocked for the drama of it and bruce refuses to think his son blocked him so he's like "oh his phone must be off he's so busy love that guy (:" and no one has the heart to tell him. the rare times he does answer the phone when bruce calls, he recites a monologue and hangs up. he’s also president of drama club and also of literature club

jason recites historic and iconic monologues and soliloquies (bc he has them memorized for certain situations) except he just sprinkles curse words in

jason’s english teacher is about to fucking quit their job bc jason always tries to teach the class

cass is the best student in bruce’s class and also his daughter and she’s fairly quiet and hangs out mostly with her brothers. people like don’t really know who she is other than like hey that’s the kick ass dancer on helena’s dance team or oh! that’s the girl who kicked my ass sparring in Mr. Wayne’s class. she meets steph in one of bruce’s classes and she’s like wild and outgoing and funny and cass has a really big crush on her but she doesn’t think steph feels the same way (she does though) also steph can drive and she’s always taking cass on these really fun adventures but bruce doesn’t approve of steph so cass like sneaks out to go hang out with steph but bruce never knows bc he thinks she’s the perfect daughter and like steph brings cass out of her shell. she’s also on the gymnastics team with dick and is the second highest placing athlete on the team.

my boy duke thomas and his parents were good friends of bruce right so when during the summer before his freshman year his parents die in a freak car accident bruce takes him in. he’s a sophomore now and he’s still adjusting to life with bruce and he thinks his new siblings are kinda weird but cool. he’s also really focused on making sure his grades are immaculate so that he can get into his dream school and make his parents proud. he is in the school band and he’s really great and tim is also in band bc bruce made him but he’s not as good as duke 

jason met duke at a family dinner he was forced to go to and thinks he’s cool unlike his other loser brother and makes him join literature club 

tim drake is a freshmen and gets shoved into lockers. his only friends are kon, bart, and cassie. he joined the coding club bc he thinks babs is extra cool and wants to be like her

jason is the one shoving him in the locker and tim’s like what the fuck you’re the nerd here and jason’s like funny isn’t it and then closes the locker

bart hangs out with tim and kon and cassie. except cassie is cool from being on the wrestling team and being donna’s cousin so she’s always really busy but she tries to make time for them. wally shoves him into lockers sometimes and kon has to get them both out.

kon is in his rebellious teen phase where he's like fuck u dad i don’t wanna be a farmer but its justified bc kon is techinically an illegitimate child from a previous relationship and clark is kind of a dick to him bc he treats Jon better than Kon

helena and dinah make out under the school bleachers before helena has dance practice and when helena has to go dinah smacks her ass and says knock em dead babe

helena originally took mr. wayne's martial arts class because she needed PE credit but now she kinda likes it. the whole time she’s there she objects to bruce's passive approach to fighting 

bruce: fight to disarm or incapacitate ur partner helena: thats dumb, fight to kill ur partner 

bruce wayne voice: helena this is a PE class please stop trying to murder your partners

kate kane subs for bruce sometimes but she supports helena's kill ur partner attitude so they don’t hire her very often

helena is captain of the dance team and they perform at all school rallies and football games and shes really hard on her team mates but only bc she wants them to be their best and babs & dinah make her music mixes for performances bc they love her

babs is president of the coding club and even though she’s a nerd everyone respects her. her and dick went on a date once and then when he kissed her good night she realized she was a lesbian. they’re still buddies though. she dated dinah for awhile but they decided they were better as friends. helena and babs became friends in the martial arts class and babs introduced helena and dinah and the three have been bffs ever since.

[greed-the-dorkalicious]

Tagged by @isahnas! Thanks Steph!

Rules: Confess your favorite character for 10 different fandoms and then tag 10 people!

10. Yukiya Minabe - Meganebu!

Yukiya... A good boy... A good and shy boy. I love him

9. Sagara Sanosuke - Rurouni Kenshin (...I realize I put most names here in western order but RuroKen is so oldey-timey I couldn’t do it...)

Sano is a fun dude. A bit less goody-two-shoes than Kenshin (as much as I do love Kenshin!), and more importantly he has a giant sword and can punch through rocks with his bare hands, and as we know punching ability is a huge factor in how much I like a character.

8. Tenya Iida - Boku no Hero Academia

A good boy. An excellent top quality fast boy. I love my square son

7. Lúcio Correia dos Santos - Overwatch

LUCIO IS SO GOOD. HE’S SO FUCKING GOOD. AN ANGEL ON EARTH. THIS MAN HAS DONE NO WRONG AND NONE OF US DESERVE HIM. HE’S TOO FUCKING GOOD AND I CAN’T BELIEVE A PERSON THIS PUREHEARTED COULD EXIST AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. WE DON’T DESERVE LUCIO. THANK YOU LUCIO

6. Clarith - Evillious Chronicles

CLARIIIIIIITH. WHAT A BADASS. She went through so much and still came out on top! One of few characters in Evillious Chronicles to legit never do anything morally questionable. (I mean, she did try to murder Riliane that one time, but she was being possessed by the Demon of Wrath AND she managed to overcome it, so that doesn’t count.) She started an entire activist church dedicated to her canon girlfriend. When has your fav ever?

5. Germany - Hetalia

I’m not as into Hetalia as I used to be, but Germany was pretty important to me when I was into it. He’s a good boy... He’s still new to the concept of friendship but he loves his friends and his big brother so much. And his dogs! If you look at how Hetalia has progressed over the years, Germany’s really loosened up, and I’m proud of him for finally learning to relax instead of just working himself to death. I love my large intimidating nerd son

4. Jotaro Kujo - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

JOTARO!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!! He seems intimidating but deep down he’s a good guy who loves his friends and the ocean... He’s cool and beautiful boy who is the biggest nerd and the best at punching. I love him so much. I worry about him though, like he seems so lifeless by part 6... What happened to you Jotaro? :( I wish he’d take a vacation... Anyway, I love my other large intimidating nerd son SO MUCH!!!

3. Fujiwara no Sai - Hikaru no Go

SAI IS SO PRETTY AND COOL AND GOOD!!! He’s so sweet and so excited all the time and he’s a GHOST how fucking cool is that? Like way cool. He’s a beautiful nerd and I get so emotional over him. I love him so much. I love him and his dramatic fan and his pretty earrings and his vending machine fascination and I’m so sad nobody reads/watches Hikaru no Go because it means nobody is appreciating him and how good he is. Even within the very small fandom, he doesn’t get as much love as he should... But it’s ok because I’ll love him enough for everyone else’s share too. I love him so much

2. Kitty Pryde - X-Men

KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My childhood idol! She’s just SO FUCKING COOL YOU GUYS. I’ve loved Kitty ever since I was a tiny little baby child thing. She can walk through walls and she has curly brown hair and she’s bffs with Wolverine and she’s really good at video games and computers and she knows Japanese martial arts and she got banned from every arcade in Westchester once and she has a pet DRAGON who is PURPLE!!! Kitty is so cool. She’s the best. The BEST superhero. When I was a kid I wanted to be just like her, and I still do. She’s so cool. What a badass. So cool. I love her SO FUCKING MUCH

1. Alphonse Elric - Fullmetal Alchemist

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCK I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH WOW HOLY FUCK WHAT A COOL AND GOOD BOY!!! SO GOOD!!!!! HE’S SO SWEET AND SO TOUGH AND SO SMART AND SO CUTE AND SO COOL AND SO BIG AND SO SPIKEY AND SO COOL AND I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING EVER AND HE’S SO COOL HE’S THE BEST AND I WISH MORE PEOPLE APPRECIATED HIM BECAUSE HE’S SO MUCH MORE THAN PEOPLE THINK HE IS AND HE’S SO GOOD AND SO BADASS AND I’D DIE FOR HIM LOOK AT HIM! LOOK!!!!!! HE’S SO GOOD!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WOW WOW WOW A PERFECT BOY WOW I LOVE MY SON SO MUCH WOW WOW LOOK AT THAT LOOK AT HIM WOW OH MAN WOW WOW

I’ll tag @because-im-freaking-greed, @snipehunt, @hernameisevilevelyn, @catboysam, @haganehimura, @sol1loqu1st, @astriiformes, @honeybeeofficial, @sonicfan3, and @katelion7!

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (30)

@novelty--night said: 

Can you recommend any angsty dick Grayson fanfic?

I don’t really read other people’s fanfiction, so I’m afraid the only ones I can give you are mine :/ 

Those are here: 1 2 3 4 5

You might ask Dawn for some others? I think she would know

Anonymous said: 

Hi! I absolutely love your work. Can you please say anything about Steph? Maybe interactions with the Dead Robin Society? Please? Thank you! Your blog is AMAZING!!!!

The Steph content is here:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 (hc)

1 2 3 (fic)

I’ll go ahead and save the ask for the next time I have Steph ideas :)

Anonymous said: 

I would very much like to join your ace crime-fighting squad, but I am rather tall and not good at concealing myself should hiding be necessary. What should I do?

Hm well we do have several non combat positions available in the organizational sector if that sort of thing interests you, but our standard training program includes a week of camouflage and concealment instruction, so I’m sure we can find some way to accommodate you.

I would also note that if you meet the (single) requirement for membership, you’re already largely invisible soooo

kpopfreaksgeneral submitted: 

Something good that has happened to me

So, short story before all this: i’m 20 years old with autism, and I’ve dropped out of highschool (or i think the danish equvilant to that) when i was about 16-17, because I struggled with keeping up with homework. I was thrown around in the system for years, not getting meds, not knowing what to do.

Last year, I was told about an educations program which is targetted at young people with autism. Basically, it’s made to be suited around how fast you learn, how many hours you can work a day and how you will function most optimally when working. It’s within a certain supermarket chain’s stores that I’ll be taught working in.

So far, it’s going great, I get to work, get taught in it, do something and I’ll have a secured work place afterwards, all over Denmark as long as it’s in one of the chain’s stores.

Also, I’m back on meds, not the some one’s as before, but I got my med’s back.

That’s really great!! I’m glad things are falling into place for you!

Anonymous said: 

something good, besides the obvious of seeing u on my dash: it was really nice and sunny today for the first time in a really long time and it was so warm i laid out in the sun with my roommates dog for a bit just to hang

Ooooh that sounds really relaxing

Anonymous said: 

I got full mark and a bonus for a subject I didn't study well for.. I'm grateful and I think I should study next time so I deserve it XD

Whoop for grades coming out better than expected :)

@shieldshawk said: 

I got kissed by a dog named Sirius Black. Because the people who come to my store are awesome nerds.

!!! Congrats on living the dream

Anonymous said: 

I was on a date that had gone sour this weekend, and I was ready to go back home and call it a loss. When! My friend called me and told me she got into a study abroad program and wanted me to come over and get drunk with her! We had a great time!!!

That sounds like fun! Sorry bout your date ://

@nightwing1536 said: I watched Gordon Ramsay make donuts on YouTube today so that was pretty good

nightwing1536 said: It's awesome whenever I get new glasses cause then oh shit things are clear again!!

nightwing1536 said: Finding Teen Titans and getting into DC Comics was a great thing for me

nightwing1536 said: Once I made myself hot chocolate when I was alone and it was really nice

nightwing1536 said: A lady I don't know very well asked how I was doing once because I was sleeping in my old teachers class room that she sometimes popped into and she was worried so that was a great reminder

nightwing1536 said: I got a pair of really nice dentist people when I had to get root canals! Only two. But they were so nice as my usual dentist guys are mean.

nightwing1536 said: I'm friends with the dentist root canal people now

nightwing1536 said: Eating corn is always a good thing that happens for me

nightwing1536 said: My teachers influenced made me know I'm more than what everyone else thought of me to be. Made me like art as one once said "...your art is really unique, don't ever give up on that." It was a girl with a mole smoking a cigarette. Terrible picture that I let him have but it means a lot to me

nightwing1536 said: Another teacher, the teach I hang with that's now my old teacher, tapped on my desk when I had him first time(known him before ish from club) and he said "If you wouldn't mind drawing me something so I could put it up on my wall? Your style is very unique and I like it." Not sure what my style was besides melting creatures and whatnot but it was nice, gave it to him at the end of the year and he says its nightmare fuel <3

nightwing1536 said: Another teacher told me I was good enough to be in her AP ceramics class, simply because of my dedication to it. I had never taken ceramics before and only ever made a few things in her club. She and I aren't very close this year but I wish we could have been. I'll write her a letter, it's what I did for all my teachers before.

nightwing1536 said: In 8th grade my science teacher said I had potential, I didn't care much at the time but he was a huge inspiration for me to live and continue. He was the first teacher I ever drew anything for, a pic of himself, I remember his head was too pointed in the picture.

nightwing1536 said: Finding you was a good thing too

That’s a lot of good stuff! Thank you <3

@silly-fuzzy-babies replied

Bill Potts on Doctor Who saved my entire life

Oh man I need to catch up then!

@cannibalfood replied

Im almost done college, just have exams left then i graduate, my gpa so far is 3.7, not great, but I'm studying hard for exams

Listen I think most people would agree that 3.7 is a reaaaaally good GPA. Congratulations!

@therealstephaniebrown replied

Well! I'm going in on May 4th to get a new tattoo! A really beautiful thigh piece. I also got in to see a doctor and am starting to take better care of my mental illnesses. Three medications so far to help balance things. Oh, and my boyfriend is flying out to Cali with me to meet my family so he can finally propose to me cx I hope you're okay <3

WHOA CONGRATS!! I’m doing okay now. I wasn’t so much last night, but I’ll be fine

@freres-toujours replied

I got the new Mass Effect game when it came out and I've been slowly working my way through it. I finished off a planet today, and this one was particularly satisfying.

I’m glad you’re having fun :)

@another-nameless-person said

I’m gender neutral and was really scared when I found out I was pregnant(months ago) that my family would treat my gender identity badly but…. They’re surprisingly concerned if they are being rude in any way? My mom even offered to buy me a binder for after I have my baby? Also, they’re all excited for my baby to grow up having someone as open about gender, sexuality and equality raise them? Which is a HUUUGE step for my family. So that’s really something that is really good until next month and I finally get to see my daughter :D

HOLY SHIT YOU’RE HAVING A BABY!!!! I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! CONGRATS!

@entrthematrix replied

I have been really sick these past two weeks and have not able to stomach any food so I've been on a liquid only diet. But, I had my first bit of real food for the first time yesterday and wasn't sick after, it is a real sign that I am getting better now.

Oh man I’m glad you’re getting better! That sounds terrible

@thelittlechibi replied

We recently released one of our birds into the wild, but he keeps hanging around the house, and last night he landed on my lap out of the blue. Ruined it by having a go at my face and leaving a scratch over my eye, but it's nice to know he's still safe and chill with us.

Whoaaaa that’s super interesting

@pallet-45 replied

I met you!! Ahaha wow that was lame

Aw thanks Danny <3

@minami-the-door-lord:

I saw a stray cat. It let me pet it.

Yoooo that sounds great I would love to pet a cat today

@richardgrays0n replied

One of my best friends just had a baby! And I got to meet him and hold him. He's adorable and so tiny. So very tiny. I love him already and I'm super proud to be his honorary aunt.

!!!!!!! Y’all I love babies so much

Thanks, guys! Y’all are really kind and helpful, and I super appreciate it <3

[celestialallstars]

Episode 11: “The odds are against me but I’m gonna make it....” - Loris

FUCK YOU MATT. FUCK YOU JACK. FUCK YOU STEPHEN. FUCK THIS CAST. YALL LYING ASS HOES SUCK MY FUCKING NIPPLES

Right now, I've got a mixture of feelings. On one end, I guess the tribal showed were some people's loyalties lie, but on the other I couldn't help but feel like it was a bit much. Like everybody in this game has literally lied and like I don't know, I understood Jack and Matt's frustration but it was a big yikes to see it get so tense and everyone get worked up. Like had my laptop not shut off, I would have likely snapped tonight and I think I'm seeing the good and the bad of things right now and it's just...a mess. Not to mention the 8 man alliance couldn't get it together until the 11th hour.

Fuck. Fucking fuck. Matt is finally gone, and this time we pulled it all off to keep him until Jared fucking pulled out an idol. How did he even know it was gonna be Chloe anyways? Man. I can't help but wonder if he wouldn't have played it had Matt and I shut our mouths but I think he would've anyways. I couldn't help myself, I couldn't let him lie again in public about that I had to expose him. Now he's got no idol, he's got few allies (I think), he's totally vulnerable and I pray to god we get him in the next 2 rounds.

It just occurred to me that I had a part in the chaos tonight. Stephen was already worried about the vote, but if I don't talk to Jack/Mitch then none of the last minute plan to vote Chloe happens I feel or gains as much momentum, then half the craziness that happened tonight at tribal does not happen at all....I saved Steph but at the cost of seemingly having Jared cost his game.

________________________________________________________________

I'm really drained at the moment between the school stuff and this game and now Jared claims my name was around for this round, or at least it was Bryce's plan. It did not phase me because I already wanted to go against Bryce/Zach but now it at least gives me another reason. AS of all of the craziness, my gut told me to try and stick it out with Michael/Chloe. I believe that between Rhys/Bryce/Zach's sketchiness, Jack just being himself, and Loris, I'd rather just try things out with the others. At this point, I'm kind of over a lot of the BS that people keep trying to sell. Having that said, I firmly believe that things need to get outted tomorrow unless we attempt a full on blindside.

I keep checking my messages as though someone wants to talk to me. Spoiler alert: they don’t.

Sooooo YESTERDAY WAS A DAY!

It started off so simple, Matt seemed to be the target for the majority alliance and Michael/Chloe didn't seem very interested in keeping him around. So I came up with a scheme that I think may have tied into someone else's scheme. But I didn't know it at the time. ANYWAYYYYY...

Matt's going home, but I don't want to vote him. Why? Because I wanna strengthen my relationship with Jack, so I approach both of them to talk about things and figure out who they're voting for. Matt was very antagonistic and I figured out this is because he heard I was saying his name, which was true! I get them to say a name they'd rather have taken out, and it's Chloe. Sure. Me and Chloe barely talk tbh. So I essentially go around getting pissy about wanting to vote Chloe instead of Matt to my alliance because I need to sell it anddddddd........

They... Want to vote her out? SKDJSKDKSKSKSKSKAKSK

Ummmm this wasn't the plan! Everyone except Loris and Jared want to do it. Okay. Whatever. I'm too deep in now to flip back, sorry Chloe!

THEN JARED PLAYS THE IDOL SKSKDKDMSKSKSKSKSSM

Ok but why didn't you use that idol to save Mitch hm?

Sketchy bitch.

Soooo I hear afterwards that Zach and Bryce had a chat with Jack and Matt and apparently they might have wanted to vote Chloe anyway????? But then why let the vote be Matt for the entire day? When we all would've voted Chloe if they just said her name originally? And now Jared also has a chat with Chloe and Michael? Worst allies ever.

Idk Zach and Bryce are sketchy and I've known that since the Mitch vote. Maybe they should watch their backs in the near future ......

First off I was SO happy for Loris! It would have been nice to immunity, but I know with all of the distracting things I had for the day that I did good with the few hours I had. This makes me wonder if it will continue a trend I see in a lot of orgs where I begin to place in the top 4 a lot in the late game. Only time shall tell. Going into this tribal, I for once feel great. Making a new alliance with Loris/Michael/Chloe/Jared all the while keeping Stephen in the loop. I'll still smile and wave in the 13th, three kings, literally any other chat but as far as I'm concerned, I'm ridding my hands of that. Hope its not too early to feel good (it is)

________________________________________________________________

So I did some thinking and for a bit I had a feeling me or Bryce would get 10th. This was just because Karth came in 20th and Kori in 15th, which had to mean one of us would come in 10th and the other in 5th. Time to see how accurate this prophecy is

Day 25......... gross. So disregarding the challenge because yikes the whole game seems to be flipped on and the best part is that I don’t put myself forward as a target and Jared and Chloe are seen as this tight duo so I expect them to be targeted over myself. However chris and loris both expressed disappointment in how the game has been progressing and Bryce and zach both came to me to strategise so hopefully I’m in some sort of power position in the game however chris has pulled this before where he’s so sad he didn’t get his way and so disappointed and nothing has changed so right now my focus is on how to get myself forward in the game with hopefully more to come and Bryce will hopefully be eliminated this round.

Soooooo I had to abstain from the challenge for work but that's okay. I don't think I'm the target anyway.

The biggest news is that Jared has added onto his old group of Chloe and Michael to create a new majority. One that is planning to overthrow the old one in the near future. Based on what Chris has told me, the additions are himself and Loris.

The issue is, based on what Jared has told me, that Loris wants to wait one more round before locking things down. I see why he'd want to do this. Jack could easily slip through the cracks of the impending majority vs. majority war and that puts him within reach of an easy win at FTC in my opinion.

Jack might actually go home unanimously if things keep up like this. It'd be sad, because I just really started putting work into my relationship with him recently, but it really doesn't seem worth it when, even if I save him, I'll likely be targeting him within 2 or 3 rounds anyway. Cyrena? More like, sayonara.

Of course, if last vote is any indication, this can all change in a couple of minutes! So who the fuck knows. There's still 3 hours until tribal and if I can convince the 5 in power to pull their move now I wouldn't mind it at all.

hi!! ok so like... I won immunity??? and it was a creative challenge???? I’m so shocked and proud of myself I rlly tried to snap and things went wrong but I still SNAPPED!!! and now I made single digits oh my god!!! like... 9th or above I’m so happy with but of course I’m gonna win anyways. so. I suggested an alliance with me chloe Chris michael Jared to Chris and Jared and now it’s a real thing and like.. we just need to get people to vote jack for themselves and then we can run the game perry add. That could be a serve. I genuinely feel like I’m in a rather good spot this game I don’t think anyone should want to vote me out except stephen  maybe??  jack is hard to read because I’m not sure he talks To that many people ... idk... also oh my god so I just need to survive 3 more tribals and then I can play my legacy.... and like I’ll be so proud of myself if I get to do that. both seasons I find the legacy in round one(?) and I manage to hold onto it until the final six both times ?? like.. the odds are against me but Im gonna make it....

girl idk. i feel in danger because of lack of talk. everyone wants jack out. id prefer chloe. the only votes we can get are bryce, rhys, jack and myself. loris is dumb. HE WONT idk. jareds legit playin super well and good for him but ppl needa wake up and start knockin off his +1’s so hes easier to take out in the future. but who cares. these people are gonna end up lettin like jared or chris win .. and good. i suppose they deserve it.

im just super tired. partly due to this game but partly because of irl factors... so i just cant go chaotic. its so fun but soooo draining, and its hard when everyone leaks things and jared wants to be dumb and idol. it wasnt dumb. im petty. its real dumb.

im just trying to get ppl on my side but it seems so hard NNNN so . we’ll see

My names going round again 🤠

Ever since I played the idol on Chloe (which was indeed an in the moment decision), I feel a lot better about my spot in the game.

I revealed basically everything to Chris. There was very little that I left out. I told him about the F2 with Bryce, and my motivations behind every decision so far.

Sometimes overbearing trust comes out of overbearing promises. I still need someone to have my back no matter what, so being open with Chris was necessary. I still will try my best to keep Bryce in the game. I need them to war with each other because it will be a long term buffer for me. In terms of F3 plans, I'm not sure. I have options between Chris, Rhys, Chloe, Michael, Stephen, and Loris. I wouldn't mind staying true and taking Bryce as far as I can, but eventually his number will be up and I think that will be better for my chances to win anyways.

Today I finally pulled the trigger and Chris and I put together this 5some of him, Chloe, Michael, Loris, and myself called "starpower."

I will have to be cheeky with Chris to stay in a better spot than him, because he doesn't have strict promises with Bryce as far as I know.

Tonight Jack will go home which was Loris' call. I think it's fine because either way next round Stephen will want a big target out and he needs me to make it happen. I want that target to be on Zach, because I think Zach is the current frontrunner to win, and I think voting him will suit Stephen.

With that being said, it will take a smooth game from hear on out to not be a total goat. I'll try my best.

Feeling very strange about this vote. It's another sort of last minute vote, we've all kind of agreed to do a hard reset and vote Chloe again, but now that I've seen one idol play I can't help but feel like there's another coming, and this time it'd directed towards me potentially. I think I'm gonna propose possibly splitting votes just to cover our bases, because I do feel like Jared and Chloe are now gonna want to target me for no reason other than it's convenient.

If someone idols Jack tonight I’m gonna scream 🤡

So, I wanted Chloe gone this round, because I'm scared she will just float through this game and take a spot at the end. Which is exactly what is happening this vote. People want Jack instead so here we go. Haven't been too active so couldn't have gotten the numbers. Sad times.

Hi so the vote seems to be on  jack which is a little bit anti climatic because everyone was like let’s make a move and then boom jack goes like I thot we were going after bryce zach or rhys but I guess not? Anyway I hope im not being played by bitches right now and people stick to their words. Or at least vote jared/Chloe out

________________________________________________________________

The thing that makes me most nervous going into tribal is that it makes strategic sense for Stephen not to vote with us and instead vote out Jared who’s a far bigger threat than Jack but hopefully the fear of a tie will mean that he makes it 6 and I hope he realises that I’m ok with going against Jared sksksksksk.

THIS game is so sad liek nothing i want happens ppl are just not wanting to do what i want and thats so unlike my first season KJFHDASKJ i just want total control and someone to run the game with but jared is so annoying and is trying to work with the ppl who will vote him out bc hes such a big threat like girl pls just let me have my way and i wont cut u at 4th! im still fuming over the idol play like who does he think he is playing it without letting me know thats all i ask i literally feel pathetic trying to work with him when he clearly has chris/loris/chloe interests ahead of me

________________________________________________________________

Jack is voted out 8-1-1. He becomes the third member of our jury.

Watch Jack’s exit interview take place below:

[markyishanthonymartinez]

5/25/17

hold on i need some motivating tunes before i type this blog out.

okay got’em.

today i finally decided to write a blog. i really should have the past few days but just didn't and that makes me a bad person but I'm okay with that. 

quick summary of past few days: hung out with besties, left reno, came to vegas, played with puppies, hung out with joey, talked the past 3 months of soccer with my dad, watched manchester united win the europa league final, was stoked, watched logan and gera play indoor at longevity, got a smoothie, played basketball at sunset park, missed the hoop and obliterated my smoothie with the ball, was sad. 

okay so so so today.

I finally turned off my alarms that i had set for school all semester. like it took me a whole week and then some of having my alarm wake me up at 7 am/8 am. but tbf the reason i hadn't turned them off yet is because I was usually up anyways by then lol. whether it be by my internal alarm clock or rocky licking my face or having to pee or whatevs. 

i had a bagel this morning. an asiago bagel. asiago (or other cheese variation) bagels are forever the best don’t @ me. i watched first take and listened to tv personalities say the same secondhand opinions they say every single day about LeBron and Steph Curry and Johnny Manziel and Odell Beckham Jr. and Chris Paul and etc etc. Also, it just began to hit me how gross it is that they don’t discuss soccer at ALL. Not a single mention of the 5th most valuable sports franchise in the world winning the Europa League and making it back into the Champions League. Not a single word about the final of this years FA Cup, the 5th oldest current sporting competition (only behind an archery thing, two boating competitions, and a golfing thing). I actually didn't know there was four older competitions, but c’mon, 1871, that’s fucking old. Or the Coupe De France, DFB Pokal, Copa Italia, Copa Del Rey. Or god forbid they talk about that one lil thing that has just a couple (try 2.5x) as many viewers as the super bowl, the Champions League Final?????

idk im salt. i should chill. where’d my music go

vegas is hot

satans butthole is hot

same thing

i went to town square with bags and kyle. they made me drive, fuckers. jk I'm fine with driving cause that means i get control of the aux and that’s my rightful place in life. bags broke the screen of his iPod this semester (okay but rly who owns iPods anymore) and he was gonna try to get it replaced. they didn't replace it. they needed like $99 from him to replace it. he said “fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucc no.” I went iPad by iPad, iPhone by iPhone, and loaded up my YouTube channel and left it open. we walked around for a bit got bored, realized we weren't 13 anymore and couldn't legitimately entertain ourselves by just walking around a mall, and did what you have to do on any town square trip.

walked into guitar center and played around with cool, expensive music stuffs. starting with the keyboards, swiftly moving to the synths and drum machines. okay okay they almost never have the vocoder microphones attached to the synths, but they did and i had so much fun with them lol. then bags and kyle got bored and left me while they went to explore elsewhere. after a while this guy seemed like he was actually wanting to buy something (he said he was from brazil) so i decided not to be a hassle and went on my way. but i was dropping them hot beats before i left. tell kendrick to hmu. maybe even drake. not j cole. or big sean. or like macklemore. then i found my way over to the electronic drums and this dude was straight jammin. so i sit down at the one at the other end from him and start jamming along to the songs he’s playing. (he was playing these neat little instrumental songs of all different genres and kinda just jamming along) so i sit down, find a tone i like and just sit there drumming with him. (I'm actually not a horrendous drummer for someone who’s not a drummer, i just absolutely cannot do bass drum kicks with my foot while I'm trying to focus on my upper body) i have no idea how to get the hang of that. 

then we got food. and i came home and spent the entire afternoon/evening watching the sports balls. first the cavs taking a polite dump on the celtics’ collective chest. and then watching Chivas play fantastically in the first 85 minutes, but throw the entire game away in the final 5 minutes in the first leg of the Liga MX final. 

aw my fish looks like he’s dancing. 

s/o to joey and mum for feeding him everyday when I'm gone.

glad he’s not dead.

i wore my pulisic jersey today. that kid is gonna be something special.

ALEX BOUGHT REAL SHOES. well kinda.

we’ve been roasting bags about not ever owning a pair of non-running shoes for a while recently. cause idk, i’ve always cared about what I'm wearing, but it’s gotten to an even higher level and i think i’ve rubbed off on my friends a bit. so yeah we’ve roasted bags and he finally bought a pair of vans. I'm proud of him BUT NOT TOO PROUD. They’re like the runner-style vans that kinda look like running shoes. You probably aren't supposed to run in them, but they’re styled to look like runners. Kinda like a casual runner. Like Roshes or NMD’s or other style/casual shoes that have the runner aesthetic but probably should not be run in. but yeah s/o bags. WAIT ANOTHER PROBLEM. instead of getting a nice black or navy or maybe even a shoe that pops a lil but can be matched with, he got some fucking olive, hawaiian floral thing that he will never actually match with and it just makes me cringe a tiny bit. i’ll be ok i promise. 

i sound really douchey in that last paragraph. i promise i’m only half serious about all those things. well i mean i do think he needs to not wear runners, but i’m glad he got something he likes and is comfortable for him and fits his style.

i should vlog one of these days. 

this blog was brought to you by, boobs.

do fun things//stay beautiful

-mark vanthony martinez

[survivorbangladesh-blog]

EPISODE 12: “Junior is forcing me to type a confessional....” - Joseph

Sam came to me like 10 minutes before the vote, and I might've flipped her? She asked me if the vote was Joe or Elliott and she said that she was told it was one of them. I got scared and was sketched and thought someone told Joe or her. I decided to try and make it seem like I wasn't sure, but still try to get her to vote Elliott so there wouldn't be any rocks. I'm SHOOK she did. Wow, I might've done that

Also, I forgot to mention this, but I made it past my best placement! I got out 6th in Congo, and now i'm in Final 5! There's no more brawn, and no more new Mastiska. I'm shook that this happened and I can't believe the progress I made. I feel like I've honestly grown so much.

I JUST FOUND A HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL FOR THE SECOND FUCKING TIME. I AM OFFICIALLY IN THE FINAL FOUR OF THIS GAME!!!!!

So JUNIOR thinks it's cute to spring up a tribal right after the immunity challenge. I love ugly hosting. But I'm happy because I don't need to be worried because some how I found a second hidden immunity idol? Praise GOD!!! Anyway, I'm kinda happy that this tribal is happening. I'm hoping that it will be a clean vote for Rob if he does not win this immunity. I'm hoping Joe isn't lying to Sam and I. I mean, I have no idea if he might actually want to go with Rob and Steph to the end. Idk I'm nervous. But I mean at least I'm guaranteed final 4. If I win immunity I will probably play my idol on Sam cause I can't have her be voted out this round. Hopefully Joe sticks with us and it can be a straight forward vote. I have the idol so there's no need to worry about them having it. So I'd really love this to be a clean and easy vote, but nothing is ever easy in survivor. So I gotta be on my toes. kflkafenokfneoi wish Sam and I luck. The iconic Bonnie and Clyde alliance WILL make it to the final tribal council!

Im freaking am mad at Eddie, he screwed me over, idk who to vote for, imma get voted out probably, im always paranoid bye yall

This is where I begin to feel horrible about the fact that I'm about to vote out Rob.......... 

Junior is forcing me to type a confessional.... So now I'm going to be the last beauty standing. Rob is going and that's that. So long.

FINAL 5 IMMUNITY BABY!!!!! I was already guaranteed final 4 but now I can guarantee Sam the final 4 as well. Wow this is so bitter sweet. I won my second immunity, but now I have to vote out someone I truly do care about. I'm not gonna feel good about this no matter what he has done in the past. This sucks. But this is just another tough decision I gotta make now that I'm at the end..... Sorry Rob, you truly made this game special for me... It was amazing to be able to play with you. I'm really proud of how far you came and how well you did. At this point though, you're a threat to win and I gotta take you out. I'm so sorry. :(

Fuck. If Eddie fucking flips in gonna be so pissed. I want joe out so bad. But idkwhyhe got rob out of the challenge before Sam and joe. So hopefully Eddie doesn't play his idol on joe again. Why is so hard to trust your final 3 ? Lol 

OMG EDDIE TOLD ME HE FOUND THE IDOL AND IF HE WON IMMUNITY HE'D PLAY IT ON ME AND HE FUCKING WON IMMUNITY SO I THINK HE'LL PLAY IT ON ME BUT I'M STILL WAITING TO FIND OUT BUT OMG I THINK HE'S GOING TO FLKSHFLKADJS IM FREAKING OUT BECAUSE I REALLY HOPE THAT HE DOES THAT WOULD BE GUARANTEED FINAL 4 AND THAT WOULD BE AMAZING when Eddie doesn't answer when I ask him what he's doing with the idol <.< [11:00:32 PM] Sam (Westeros Host): what are you gunna do with the idol? [11:02:09 PM] Sam (Westeros Host): are we voting Rob? [11:02:41 PM] Eddie Bracco: yea literally completely avoids the question... okay

FUCK EDDIE. FUCK JOE. Sam, she's okay, she's cool personally, I can't believe she did that, she's winning now. Eddie's an idiot. Steph I love her, but I feel like she screwed me over. If she didn't try to expose what was happening, maybe I would've stayed. FUCK EDDIE HE'S A PIECE OF SHIT. DRAMA QUEEN. UGH I KNEW FROM HIS BEHAVIOR IN THE VIEWING LOUNGE THAT HE'S TRULY UGLY. FUCK COOPER.

On 11/18/16, at 11:35 PM, Rob Rangel wrote: > Eddie I am seriously over you. I hate you. I was honest to you and I would have taken you to the final two. I trusted and loved you. But after what you have done, I never want to speak to you again. I am genuinely hurt, and our Micronesia watch is off. What's that noise that I'm hearing??? oh... it's my chances of winning this game being flushed down the toilet. 

I can't believe I'm at final 4! This is wild honestly I NEVER thought I would have made it this far especially with someone I actually really trust. Like I'm pretty sure that Eddie and I can at least tie it if something crazy happens. I'm really hoping one of us two wins immunity because I'm not totally sure but I think Eddie wants to consider taking out Joe which I would think about I just also really want Steph gone because like what the fuck had she done? Preferably it'd be a final 2 and we could vote Joe and Steph out at the same time but that's also a risk because like one more vote I could leave on. I can't wait to see Eddie's confessionals, if he's as sappy and cheesy in confessionals as he is in PMs they're gunna be so adorable and cheesy I also can't wait to see Joe being all like "ha I'm totally holding Eddie and Sam together. I've got them both and if it came down to it they'd both pick me" and we'll just be like WRONG BITCH PLEASE And then Steph's will just be like "........"

BIG MOOD RIGHT NOW [11/20/16, 5:36:43 PM] Sam (Westeros Host): omg so in Panem I got sponsored and got an extra vote and I don't have anyone to tell about it because I don't trust anyone to say anything and I'm sad [11/20/16, 5:40:21 PM] Eddie Bracco: OMG I’m gonna feel the same exact way when I play my next game. Like I’m serious when I say that I have never trust someone as much as I trust you this game. Literally most of my confessionals are just me copying and pasting what we talk about in our chat because everything I tell you is exactly what I truly feel about the game because I have become so comfortable with you. [11/20/16, 5:57:58 PM] Sam (Westeros Host): It's so nice to just have someone you can talk to and just be like oh hey I'm thinking this! Oh guess what I got! Oh this is going on! And like you don't get that all time, like ever, so it's crazy! I love how this game worked it! [11/20/16, 6:08:44 PM] Eddie Bracco: I know, I have never had someone in a game who I have been 100% honest with the way I have been with you. It’s so crazy to know that I had one person going through every thing with me. It’s a little bittersweet that this game is ending, because I know I will never be aligned with someone in the same way that I was aligned with you. (Unless we get invited back for dynamic duos 2 LMAOOOOO) But … yea… I’m feeling really emotional today just cause of everything. It really had been one of the craziest games I have ever been through. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Seriously though. As much as I want this demonic game to END. Having Sam by my side through out it all was such a comfortable and warm feeling. Knowing that I will probably never get the same thing in any other game makes me sad. Whatever happens tonight, this game will alway be the game that Sam and I took control over. I don't know if this will be my last confessional. I just want to thank you Sam. For sticking with me through it all, and being my partner in crime. I think it was at final 8 that I thought of the idea to call our alliance Bonnie and Clyde, because we're literally stealing the win away from everyone. And look at us now, we're in the final 4, and we only have two more people who we have to steal the win from. I'm proud of what we both accomplished in this game. You've been an awesome and loyal ally, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

well I'm hoping this isn't my last day. i want immunity so bad tonight. i need it more then anyone. of course the other 3 are very close and really to take each other to the final 3. so hopefully  i can win and get myself to the final 3 my self. 

Probably my last confessional before final 4 immunity. Hopefully everything goes well. Basically the way I saw it, voting out Rob put me in a pretty bad position in the final 4. While I do believe that Rob and Stephanie would have 100% targeted Sam, I also believe that the final immunity would have been between Sam and I. Rob and Steph were clearly a voting block, Rob would have never voted out Steph, and Steph would have never voted out Rob. If Sam wins that immunity, I am literally toast. Rob would never vote out Stephanie because he's all about bringing people to the end he can beat, and Sam would 1000% be gunning for me at the final 4 had I went against her and voted out Joe. Not only that, but I'm pretty sure Joe and Sam would both take me to final 2???? Where as if it was a final 2 I believe Steph and Rob would have taken each other. Even though Rob and Steph were two people who I had a better chance of beating, the goal is to make it to final tribal council in the first place. If you don't make it there you have zero chances of winning. So I had to keep Joe, to make sure that I was in a good position and had a good chance of making final tribal council. With all that being said wish me luck tonight! Just wanted to explain my decision to vote out Rob over Joe more thoroughly cause I don't really think I've explained my though process behind it.  

I'm freaking out I'm so nervous honestly! I was really afraid that Joe was gunna try to tie it up or something and I really don't want to go to jury now, this BETTER NOT BE ANOTHER CHALLENGE! Junior is about to make me cry on live youtube honestly. If it is a F2 I REALLY hope that Eddie or I because if Joe wins I'm gunna be so upset

On 11/5/16, at 11:23 PM, Ariel wrote: > beat all of their asses And I did exactly that Ariel... I did exactly that.

Coming into this vote, I'm guaranteed to vote for #godmantha the spy. The only way she doesn't get it is if she completely blows her speech, but with Ruben and Joseph, I HIGHLY doubt it. She's played the best game out of anyone, and I freaking knew she would win! I tried to prevent this, but oh well, she's a nice person, and it looks like nice girls do win. <3 Congrats Browneyedgirlxsg!!

I am voting for the person who played the best game a.k.a. the game people thought I was playing. BROWNEYEDGIRLXSG

Thanks for doing your best, Yunior <3 I say burn the hosts but I really mean "love the hosts" cuz you are the bomb.com and confessionals are wonderful but I know you've got a busy life so thanks for giving us what we have already <3

[stephhurdles-blog]

                                          This is the story of me

My real name is Estefania, but I go by Steph for short. I am the oldest of six, my two younger sisters are my full blood. My three younger brothers are half blood, but I will always consider them full. No matter what we share the same mom, and home. My mom was a single parent and struggled for many years up until I was in 4th grade. I learned to stay home alone with my younger sisters by the time I was in 1st grade, because my mom would have to go to work to provide for us. My mom never tapped into food stamps, or welfare she did it all on her own, she was to proud. Thats where I believe I get my strong work ethic from. I grew up with warm neighbors and a full house of aunts, with my mom having 10 sisters I felt as if I had 10 moms. My mom never moved us from any school I started kindergarten at Madrone Elementary and ended 6th grade their as well. Till this day I know all my teachers I had and they know me. I know I struggled academically but I always had amazing support from my teachers. I remember I begged my mom to let me go to Slater Middle School but she wouldn’t budge I went to a technology based charter school with 80 kids in my class, I hated it and was so angry at everything my first year their, unless it came to sports. I was always the star athlete from cross country, basketball, volleyball, track and field. Thats the only time I really felt like I belonged at school, sure I had friends but all my friends I grew up with went to other middle schools. Starting 8th grade I had a change of heart, I ran for student body president and lost but only by five. I was a mentor for lower classmates, continued to play sports and was the schools secretary’s favorite student. Although I was dating a gangster that was in juvenile hall for the first months of our relationship we dated for 2 years. I was wrapped up in an abusive relationship at such a young age, and being the fact that he was a thug I saw things that would make me run scared today. Im happy for that relationship because it guided me to a better road. Unfortunately I cannot say the same for him, he is on trail facing up to 25 to life. It really breaks my heart to hear that, but since then I have reached out to him and I try to be there as a friend or support. I know most people say high school was the worst time of their lives but I cannot say the same. My high school experience was amazing, I got to chose my high school Montgomery High School the home of the vikings, and boy am I  proud to be one. My freshman year I was Vice President for my class, played on the basketball team and had the greatest group of friends. One thing I do regret is getting suspended my freshman year, long shot I fought a boy because he threw a basketball at my face, so of course I needed to punch him back. I would’t of cared but I was not able to run track and field that year which I would later regret. Sophomore year was a bit of a blur, I was still Vice President, played basketball, and ran track and field which really changed my life. My first year out on the track and I ran varsity making it on the 4x4 relay women team and breaking the school record for the 300hurdles I competed up to Meet of Champions which is hard to do your first time around. The end of my sophomore year I found what I believed the man I would marry Kenny Houser. My Junior year it was really about us we where the it couple and I loved it he really was amazing and truly believed it was a happy ever after, I didn’t play basketball and it seemed as I never ran track and field in my life, my school recored was broken by a teammate of mine and I really cruse my world I lost all confidence I stopped running. I focused on a different passion growing food, and learning about sustainability. Len Greenwood a dear old friend and old high school teacher changed my mind set on the world and helped me find what I want to be for the rest of my life. It was the start of Senior year I realized I had lost all of my friends from freshman year, but I didn’t care because I had Kenny. I spent most of my time in the bungalow class rooms helping my classmates with special needs. I volunteered and still volunteer all the time I could to them at school. Since my mom has worked in a caregiving home for adults with special needs I look at them as my fellow brothers and sisters, I am truly blessed to have such a gift to make others feel safe and equal around me.  I ran cross country and sadly was placed in varsity, I hated distance but I knew it would get me in shape. I started my own club at school, showing club members how to grow their own food, and I was also enrolled in the Leadership Institute for Ecology and Economy I am one of the youngest fellows of this Sonoma county institute. The first few months of school I began getting letters from colleges saying they'd like me to run for them, that was the first time I really ever gave a thought about college. I then realized Kenny wouldn’t be there so I can’t go. I was still always motivated I worked so hard with my coach to become better then what I was a sure enough I did, I broke the school recored, led all the relay teams, and won all of NBLs. I could of gone all the way to state but it landed the same day of graduation. How can I forget how I spent my spring break Senior year in beautiful Ecuador, for my first time out of the country it was amazing, I was on a reforestation project with a non-profit organization out of Sebastopol. I was awarded a scholarship, from a women group so my trip was free and the experience was like a dream. Kenny was by my side as well, he actually got stung by a sting ray our second day their, looking back at it I laugh. But what I learned from other people and another side of this world will forever be in my heart.  I was blessed to be the official race starter for the Track and Field Special Olympics, one of the many things I would never regret although Kenny and I argued over that I don’t care, I wasn’t going to hold myself back from what I love because he was to insecure and unsure of himself. I still don’t see how you can chain down a free spirit because he sure tried. Sometimes I felt as if I would never get recognized for anything I did, and what was the point of doing this and that and waiting my time volunteering and giving and being so busy I would never be home. But all the praise I was looking for came around when I was the only high school senior in Santa Rosa to win the Press Democrat Youth Service Award for agriculture/vocational my biggest accomplishment was not the scholarship, or the fancy plaque with my name on it. It was that they quoted me in the article “Some of the children I work with might only get lunch at school, and go home to not find food,” she said. “Teaching them the simple skills of growing their own fresh, hand-grown food is an amazing skill to have. My mission isn’t to create all the children I meet into farmers, or an environmentalist, but have them create something for themselves.” It frustrating to be young sometimes and not have your voice heard. For this to happen gave me hope and it is still why I am going. Although Kenny and I ended, it was for the best I needed to be released and set free with out boundaries because the planet is calling me with open arms. I am now in my first year of college here at the beautiful SRJC I am a full time student athlete. Im excited fro this track season to start I know coach Wellman is excited for me to run, Ive been trying my butt off for this and I know it will pay off, Im running for my education I want to receive scholarship offers so I can reach for my dreams of being the first in my family to go off to college to show my siblings that their big sister did it and they can to, to show the world that a child that has came from a rough road can make a mark in this world. No one is stopping me from chasing my dreams, I want to help people I want to help the world. I hope as becoming an environmentalist attorney I can achieve that. One thing I know, that no matter where I go I love to smile at everyone sometimes I feel like it hard but I still do it. It makes me laugh because I have braces and I can’t ever stop smiling, boy I can’t wait to get these off.