#but im not gonna do that because i'd rather just move on

[kaiserouo]

lesson learned. don't rush your rendering

but this is the only thing i can post today so im still gonna do that

[mr-ribbit]

gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.

i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.

to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community

to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.

so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue

"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"

I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.

"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"

I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.

there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?

there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic

also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.

"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"

they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?

also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????

and another thing:

it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?

focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.

especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.

[aezuria]

*ੈ✎ xoxo, gossip girl!

content: leo valdez x reader, percy jackson x reader, jason grace x reader

╰┈▸ back cover: how would gossip sessions with them go?

warnings: cursing, rude humor??

librarian's annotations: doing this instead of requests um

*ੈ LEO VALDEZ

SASSY MAN APOCALYPSE

god hes probably talking shit more than u

"oh her? yeah she was such a bitch like no way she looked at you like that when i said i was so obviously taken!"

"and her hair? has she ever heard of a brush? like, if you're gonna come at my girlfriend, at least make yourself look better so you don't embarrass yourself. oh wait, you can't!"

probably laying on you as he does this, and starts squeezing you tightly

"because my girlfriend is the prettiest girl in the world!"

awww that's cute right?

WRONG this man is so quick with his comebacks its actually insane

does NOT think before he speaks

doesnt hold back, even against you (booo why did ur gf privileges not apply to that)

"leo! can you like, move your fat ass off me?" you groan under him as he lays down with his dead weight on top of you.

"like the fat ass you don't have?"

were you silent or SILENCED

everytime you think he wouldnt take it that far?? oh he will go THERE (but he always makes sure u know hes joking)

doesnt want to invoke your wrath so he apologizes IMMEDIATELY

"fix your hair-"

"fix your face- IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO-"

*ੈ PERCY JACKSON

guys. we cant forget abt the OG SASSY MAN

also talking shit a whole lot more than he should

"uh, she needs to get her act together before she can start coming at others; like-" rolls his eyes for EMPHASIS "who does she think she is, talking to you like that?"

damn, who taught this man sass?

bro was BORN with it or smth

even outsasses you sometimes

if you tell him to get like a snack or something and hes in the mood to just lay down with you, he will huff SO loudly

"ugh, fine!"

gets you extra snacks anyway in case you want more (and drinks obviously)

SO SO INVESTED like he has the WHOLE story down

but sometimes mixes up the ppl if its been a while

"wait wait, so the library girl and the jock are dating?"

"the nerd and the library girl are dating, but the jock wanted library girl."

"that makes a lot of sense, actually."

has tea of his OWN because the sea knows everything apparently

"tobias told me-" percy started.

"who the fuck is tobias?"

"the turtle, duh. anyway, he said that this guy always takes girls to the beach on their first date, to make them fall in love with him or something. like, every single girl he's dated."

"...does that count as a manipulation tactic?"

*ੈ JASON GRACE

will be on your side no matter what

like if you end it with an "it is what it is"

um??? it is NOT what it is hello?

doesnt look like hes listening but hes paying attention to EVERYTHING

like hes "reading" a book but hes been on the same page for the entire time youve been talking

tries not to laugh at your rather creative insults, but sometimes you get a soft chuckle out of him

you take that as a win

once, you caught him listening through the door as you gossiped with piper over the phone

he was SO embarrassed omg

after that, you made sure to tell him all the tea as soon as you have it

"—and he cheated on her with her SISTER. who's like, three years younger than him! like, what the fuck? that's not even all he did!" you sit up, hands playing with the blanket. you think you see him lean a bit closer, as if wanting to hear more. "she fucked his brother in his room, like, her ex boyfriend's room for revenge! okay, that was a bitch move, but was it deserved?"

jason shrugged. "i'd say no one deserves to be cheated on, but he kinda did deserve it."

"exactly!"

[skxllz]

Hi! IDK IF YOUR TAKING REQUESTS BUT IM GONNA SEND ONE ANYWAY AND YOU DONT HAVE TO DO IT IF YOU ARENT TAKING REQUESTS

Can you do Lucifer, Alastor and whoever else you wanna add with a reader who just swallows/eats anything/weird things?

A piece of tissue? Sure! Plastic? Yippee! A pebble? Why not! Keys? Yummy! A rubber duck? Quack quack! A piece of Alastors cane? Don’t kill me!!

I'm not currently taking requests but I'll do this for you hon <3 I apologize if it doesn't live up to your expectations!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫 & 𝐯𝐨𝐱 𝐟𝐭...

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

🐤 - 𝚕𝚞𝚌𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚛

➳ when you two first started dating - scratch that, first started talking, he picked up on the fact that you had random quirks. bored? you'd make random noises. sometimes, you'd lay on the floor just to lay there. for no reason, you'd hang upside down on the couches in the foyer. —he once questioned you and you said, I quote, “ I want to feel the blood rush to my head, it's fun. ”— to say the least, you puzzled him, but he brushed it off because who wasn't an oddball in hell?

➳ now, when you actually started dating and you got more comfortable is when he noticed some of his rubber ducks missing - and not just the ducks, but rather some of the things he used on them as well. glue, for example.

➳ “ hey, um, sweetie? ” he approached you one day, quite confused from where his things were suddenly disappearing to. you hummed in reply, looking up from your phone. lucifer blinked at you slowly, trying to come up with a way to word his sentence without seeming like he was accusing you of anything. “ have you seen my glue? the kind I use for- ” — “ no. ” you had answered too quickly for his liking.

➳ as the days carried on, more of his shit would vanish. it got to the point where it'd frustrate him. it wasn't until one day, where his latest creation knocked off of his desk and rolled under it, did he find one of the ducks he had been looking for. except... it had a bite mark taken out of it...

➳ lucifer was dubbed shocked. his eyes widened, lips pulled down in a duck-lipped press. what in the seven rings of hell? he's never seen anything like this, and he doesn't own a hell hound, so who-

➳ and then his mind drifted to you.

➳ he recalled your weird behaviour; the way you were sweating nervously and avoiding eye contact. he should've known you had something to do with it.

➳ but to eat his rubber ducks? he's going to have a serious talk with you about your diet.

+++

📻 - 𝚊𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛

➳ this radio demon didn't really show interest in you at first. you seemed innocent - too innocent, but still innocent, and that just didn't catch his attention in the slightest. if anything, you seemed bothersome.

➳ I'd like to think he first took interest in you when vaggie found a corner of the end of her spear broken off. no one dared touched it before, and you were new to the hotel - it didn't take a genius to put two and two together. but I guess, in a sense, no one else suspected you since you never bothered anything else.

➳ one night, when almost everyone was asleep, you snuck off to the kitchen to find something to eat. you were starving since you hadn't had dinner and couldn't really bother to just fall asleep on an empty stomach. a certain radio demon had followed you, startling you out of your wits as you turned around only to spot him there. “ funny to see you awake, dear! ”

➳ you explained to him, nervously, that you couldn't sleep. he hummed, pretending to show he was listening, before skipping right to the point of why exactly he was there. “ I couldn't help but realize that, earlier today when our dearest vaggie was rather upset, you hadn't moved an inch from your spot on the sofa. in fact, you seemed almost... ” he paused, pretending to ponder, his smile widening. “ guilty. care to explain the reasoning for that, hm? ”

➳ at that point, you were avoiding eye contact. hands twined behind your back, thumbs twiddling out of anxiousness, you searched for an excuse through your jumbled brain, attempting to think of absolutely anything just to slip away from alastor. but knowing him, he'd probably see right through the charade - he's been around way longer than you, and is a mastermind at getting into people's heads. no doubt he'd figure out you fibbed. — “ I just felt guilty that I couldn't help at all. vaggie is a close friend, I hate to see her upset. ”

➳ instead of buying the lie, like you had predicted, the bob-wearing demon leaned down and gave you a close-lipped grin; half lidded eyes flashing dangerously beneath the light that gleamed from atop the stove. “ or is it because, perhaps, you had something to do with it? ”

➳ that's when you blurted out. “ I ate it. ” and, much too afraid to gouge alastor's reaction, you turned and took off running out of the kitchen.

➳ if you would've stayed, however, you would've seen the way alastor's eyes momentarily widened. he was.. shocked, to say the least. he didn't think he had heard you right at first, but he knew for certain his ears didn't deceive him.

➳ with his narrowed eyes now staring after your figure, he straightened his posture, folding his hands behind his back and humming to himself. “ interesting creature, they are... ”

➳ you have now caught his attention. expect more interactions with the infamous deer!

+++

📺 - 𝚟𝚘𝚡

➳ picture this; you're one of velvette's models. you're dating vox, her business partner. they're both aware of how weird you can be, and yet, they both seem to favorite you - hell, even val (but let's face it, he just wants you for your body, which isn't going to happen).

➳ you're in the middle of getting your hair prepped and straightened when you had the sudden urge to just chew. it always came on randomly, but most of the time when you were bored. sitting in a chair, with sprits blasting into your face and hair utensils tugging in your hair, and hell forbid you weren't allowed to move- it was not exactly fun. so you started to eye the new collection of makeup sponges that were just set upon your personal vanity.

➳ they looked squishy, flimsy, chewable... oh so tempting. so while rachelle, your hairstylist, was busy talking her head off, too busy to notice you stretching your arm forward, you snatched one up.

➳ velvette came strutting down the midst of the aisle with a firm hand on her hip and a ripple in the center of her brow, shouting at many of the other stylists on what to do, what not to do - what looked better on her models, what looked cheap. she could not afford to have her best women looking as if they escaped the hands of a hellhound, it just wouldn't do. but that's when she turned, pointing a demanding finger at rachelle to amp up the heat on your straightener because the ends of your hair were curling up. that's also when she noticed you not only chewing on the newly bought sponge, but eating it.

➳ “ oh for fuck sake! ” the dark-skinned demon spewed, catching your attention and making you freeze. velvette reached an arm forward, only to wrap her digits around what was left of the sponge and rip it from your grasp. your chair turned on cue, showing you sheepishly smiling at the fuming female. “ I told you not to stuff your damn mouth full of random shit! especially my new makeup equipment — ” she turned away, stomping her healed foot to the ground. “ fuck! ”

➳ it wasn't long before vox had arrived before the demoness due to her calling him and shouting profanities over the phone. you were left to sit in the chair, huffing nonsense under your breath, while rachelle finished with your hair in silence.

➳ when the overlord made his presence known, rachelle excused herself — and thankfully she had finished your hair. “ y/n, dear.. ” vox smoothly spoke, for once not sounding like an overly cocky twat. it's usually only in the presence of others, but given that not many people were around, he dialed a softer tone with you.

➳ “ I didn't do anything, ” you rolled your eyes, looking away with a puffed out frown. yes, you were spoiled, but who wouldn't be, dating the owner and inventor of voxtech?

➳ vox sharply looked down at you, eyeing you with a sense of irritance —for angering velvette— but fondness —because you're his—. “ don't be like that. how many times have we talked about eating random things, hm? ”

➳ “ ... about- fifty nine? I lost count. ”

➳ “ around there. ” the tv demon moved, placing his hands on the back of the swivel chair you sat upon, while now holding eye contact with you through the mirror to your vanity. “ and what have we talked about, sweetheart? ”

➳ you were silent at first. staring him down, eyes hooded and ghosted over with annoyance. it was irritating how he was speaking to you like a child. “ well? ” vox impatiently, patiently, questioned; his claws dragging along the back of the chair, only to glide over your nape. closing your eyes out of bliss from the movement, you sighed. “ don't eat random things because they're bad for me... ”

➳ “ exactly. ” vox mischievously smiled down to you, squeezing the back of your neck gently. “ now, don't you think you owe velvette an apology? ”

➳ as you nod your head, vox releases his grip on you, letting your hair fall back down against your skin. “ good. come now, we have to get that out of the way; I have things to discuss with you. ”

➳ your discussion ended pretty well :).

[theeoriginals]

a Klaus fic with this gem from Ozark “look, I know I kissed you last night but I thought I was gonna fucking die”. Change to fit however you want 😘

the last thing i'd do | klaus mikaelson

author's note; whoever sent this im so sorry it's been in my inbox for seven months

warnings; hybrid!reader, mentions of violence, violence against reader, themes of death, klaus gets crazy :), then there's fluff, a bit of angst still sprinkled in, but there's a happy ending

It's a blood bath, is the thing.

She can't tell what blood is hers anymore, and the ache in her body has done nothing but grow steadily over the past ten minutes. It feels like it's been hours since it all started.

She doesn't remember who threw the first punch, just knows that someone had come at her and she had no choice but to fight back, fight for her life.

There's blood under her nails, and she thinks maybe some in her eyes because they're burning, but it might be the tears shining in them.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Klaus had, for once, been hoping for peace. He was always braced for a fight, but he'd truly been hoping for a painless, quick negotiation.

Of course, it's turned into the worst fight they've had in a while.

She's always been on Klaus's side of things; fights, family, life. She's always had her place here, carved out by none other than the Original Hybrid himself. She's never understood just what he saw in her that earned her this place, but she wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Some– most– call her loyalty a form of naivety. Perhaps the sire bond still lingering, despite the fact that she'd broken it years ago. His siblings call it blindness, or ignorance, in their harsher moments. Her friends, the few that happen to be immortal, too, think she's reckless and just asking for him to kill her. Klaus Mikaelson turns on everybody, eventually, they say. The paranoid, hybrid king trusts nothing and no one. He killed his parents, multiple times, and he's kept his siblings in and out of coffins for most of their immortal lives. Why would he ever enjoy the company of one of his sires?

She's never thought he was perfect. That's something people always get wrong. They think she sees no flaws in him, when really she sees them all for what they are, she sees him for who he really is. She still loves him.

Some days she thinks he knows how she feels for him. Sometimes she can't keep it out of her eyes, and he'll catch her looking at him and his eyes will narrow slightly, like he's warning her to contain it.

Other days, she thinks there's no way he knows, because if he knew the capacity of her adoration, he'd surely have to say something. Tell her to move on. Compel the feelings away, possibly. If he were that cruel to her.

She doesn't think he would be. Since that first day he found her in the woods with what was left of her pack, they'd all watched him in fear. Some confused. Angry. But she was mystified. Enraptured by him and the power that radiated off of him.

She spent a long time feeling weak when she was younger. Even after she triggered the curse. But when Klaus told her she could become immortal, be strong, be at his side, she was the first to accept. The only one in her pack to ask him to turn her.

He'd set his eyes on her, something unidentifiably dark gleaming in his blue eyes, and when she latched onto his wrist to drink his blood, he hadn't looked away from her.

When he cupped her cheeks, he'd brushed his thumbs along the curve of her cheekbones and told her he'd make it quick and painless for her, and when she opened her eyes, he'd be there.

He'd kept his word, then. And he'd kept it ever since.

This, though. He'd given her his word, knowing her hesitance to fight, knowing that unless it was life or death, she'd rather avoid conflict. He promised her there would be no bloodshed here today.

It's not his fault, this time. She needs to tell him that. She needs to be at his side to make sure they're still fighting together, like they have for so long, yet so little time.

She throws a vampire off of her, with nothing but his heart in her palm and she quickly drops it to the ground at her feet. Turning, she pushes through the chaos, trying to cross the room to where she last saw him.

"Klaus!"

Her voice echoes over the mess and she sees him turn in the direction of it, and the fire in his blue eyes has her stopping.

He has blood smeared around his mouth and chin and she knows he's torn out more throats than he can count. The numbers are dwindling on both sides, barely anyone left standing, and she goes to close the space between them when a blinding pain stops her in her tracks.

Her choked off grunt is nearly silent amidst the yelling, but to Klaus it's like a gunshot.

He watches the point of the stake stab through her chest and feels his breath stall in his chest, fingers going numb all the way to the tips.

Her hand comes up, trembling as she skims her fingers over the blood blooming on her shirt around the stake. When she looks back up at Klaus, she tries to say his name but it's suffocated by the blood bubbling up in her throat.

Her knees give out from under her and she hears his hoarse voice yell her name as she goes down.

She can't see it, but she feels the pain that refreshes when he rips the stake from her back and throws it into the heart of the vampire that had attacked her.

She can't see it through the blur of her tears, but the sounds of retreat echo in her ears around the waves crashing.

When Klaus speaks again, his voice is closer and she blinks blearily, finding him hovering above her with wide eyes, looking uncharacteristically scared.

Her brows furrow when she sees the look on his face and when his fingers brush hers, she's quick to intertwine them with hers.

He whispers her name, the sound broken with emotion, and she squeezes his hand unconsciously.

"You're alright," He tries, valiantly ignoring the graying color of her skin despite the fact that he got the stake out of her. "You're alright, love. The pain will go away in a minute,"

She frowns, shaking her head against where he has it cupped with the hand that she's not holding. "Doesn't hurt," She whispers, swallowing roughly around the copper in her mouth.

"What?"

She repeats herself. "Doesn't hurt. Can't feel anything,"

Klaus makes a noise that she thinks might be grief. "No, no, it's alright. Here," He rips his hand from hers and his fangs tear into his skin, and he shoves his wrist against her mouth, letting as much blood drip into her mouth as he can before he heals.

She swallows it dutifully, but that numbness doesn't quite go away, and she wonders why he's so worried about it.

"Sit up," He commands her, though his voice is nowhere near as firm as it can get. "Sit up, and I'll help you the rest of the way. We'll go home, and you can rest."

"Klaus," She says his name, smiling around the syllables. "Come here."

He leans down at her request, eyes fluttering shut on a shaky breath when she lifts a blood-smeared hand up to his cheek. He whispers her name and her smile gives way to bloody teeth.

She uses what strength she can to lean up and kiss him, the pads of her fingers pressing into his pale cheek when he inhales sharply but presses back instantly, deepening the kiss.

She lingers as long as she can until she has to pull away, gasping for a full breath that she can't quite reach.

Still, a smile sits on her lips and when she meets Klaus's worried gaze, she doesn't falter. "Thank you,"

Confusion flutters on his face for a moment, but he jostles her when she starts to go limp in his arms, hand falling from his face. "No," He pulls her weight up, lifting her against his chest as her eyes flutter shut. "No. Wake up. Wake up!"

Silence follows his demands, his pleas, and through the blood on her cheek, a single tear falls from his eye, cleaning as it slides down her skin and falls into nothing.

Despite the silence surrounding him, he feels deafened.

────── 

When she opens her eyes again, she can feel her body again in a way she couldn't before. Luckily, she can't feel any pain.

Her eyes go down to her chest where she knows a gaping wound had been, but there's nothing left, not even a scar its wake and she takes a deep breath, relieved that it's not followed by a throttle of blood coming up her throat.

"You're awake,"

The voice startles her, but she isn't scared when she turns her head against the pillow to look at Klaus. A frown sprouts on her face when she sees him sitting in a chair at her side, looking like he hasn't slept in days. It's not always necessary, but they have to take breaks sometimes, and she hasn't seen Klaus look this tired in a long time.

"I am," She says, swallowing a mouthful of spit in an attempt to wet her throat. "I don't think I should be, though."

"I owe many people a great deal of things, so you'd better stay that way."

His voice is dark and she can hear the anger in it, but she's not used to it being focused on her. "You didn't–"

"Do not," He cuts her off, his words nearly a growl that has her eyes widening. "Do not tell me that I shouldn't have saved you."

He leans forward, grabbing her hand in his, and she shrinks with embarrassment when she remembers how she'd touched his cheek and kissed him.

"Klaus," She squeezes her eyes shut, huffing her humiliation out. "I am– so sorry that I–"

"Don't," He cuts her off again, hand pressing pointedly against hers. "Don't apologize if you don't mean it."

She falls silent for a moment, lost as she looks at him. "I just... I thought I was going to die. And I just– I had to have it at least once."

He visibly swallows and she watches that pretty shine light up his eyes again. "You thought you were dying, and the last thing you wanted to do was kiss me?"

She nods despite the toe-curling embarrassment coursing through her.

He cuts a sharp breath out of his nose, shaking his head.

Before she realizes it, he's hovering above her, cupping her cheeks gently. "Silly little thing," He quietly scolds her, not giving her time to argue before he kisses her, ever so softly, softer than she ever thought he could be. Like she'll break beneath his touch if he doesn't treat her like glass.

When he pulls away and she forces her eyes open, she finds herself fighting off a tingling sensation from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. "What'd you do that for?"

He smiles, small and fond. "The next time you kiss me, you don't have to be dying to do it."

"Oh,"

"Don't ever do that to me again," His voice has a warning in it, but she's already smiling too hard to pay attention to it. "You know how I feel about people disobeying my orders."

Her grin is audible when she responds. "Yeah, I do."

[riki-riks-chick]

hello!! inhope you’re having a good day ! i really enjoy your niki writings :)) i was wondering if you would do one with a tall reader? could be any scenario (insecurity, riki admiring the reader, etc) thank you!!🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Stature ︱N.RK

riki x tall!reader

whenever yn doubts herself, riki is there to make her feel confident.

cw: fluff! insecure!yn, yn is 5'10, supportive bf!riki, degradation, riki likes tall girls, fuma (&team) cameo, kisses, reassurance, wholesome couples, non-toxic relationship, protective bf riki.

wdct: 2.4k

tyy for the request i hope this is good! im not talll so i hope i did good. <3

┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉

Third Person POV~

"Hey, babe. Jungwon told me there's some party going on tonight at Jake and Heeseung's house.. Do you wanna go?" Riki plops down on the couch beside you, patting your back as you sigh. "No.. I dont wanna go.." You mumble as he pouts. "Why not~? I don't wanna go alone..." 

"Riks, I really don't feel up to it.. I don't even have anything to wear.." You say as an excuse and Riki rolls his eyes. "I just took you shopping yesterday, come on.. If we can find you a good outfit you're going."

He pulls you up from the couch, dragging you towards the bedroom as you whine. "Riki... Why are you forcing me into this?" You ask as he sighs. "If you don't wanna go, I'm not gonna go because I wanna be with you.. But I'd much rather we both go have fun together.."

You roll your eyes at his reasoning, sitting on the bed while he rummages through your closet.

"Look, try this on.." He picks out a black halter top and some low rise jeans that you probably hadn't worn in the past year, you're already skeptical, but he forces you to try it on.

"I look ugly in the jeans. I need to lose weight before wearing these again." He scoffs loudly at your revelation. "Babe, I don't remember you ever even looking so good in these jeans, it's like you got better looking since we started dating."

You chuckle, turning away from your mirror to face him. "You're such a kiss ass, you're just saying that." He shakes his head at your words. "No, I'm not. You genuinely look good, but if you aren't comfy we'll find something you're okay wearing."

You can't help but smile at his willingness, and as soon as he forms another outfit, you try your hardest to try it on without any negative feelings.

The next outfit is simple, some cute jeans that are high waisted and flare at the bottom, and he gives you a dark blue tanktop that has thicker traps and a lace bordered neckline. 

You can't deny that the outfit is much better. As you're glancing at yourself in the mirror, he comes up behind you, hands on your hips and his head on your shoulder. "You look so pretty.." 

He moves your hair, trailing soft butterfly kisses over your exposed shoulder and your neck. "If you wanna wear this, I'll carry your coat for you.. Okay?.." You nod, deciding to give it a chance and go to the party. 

The two of you get ready, outfits matching cutely, and just as you're both putting on your shoes, Riki raises an eyebrow. "You're not wearing the matching heels?" He asks as you shake your head, sliding into your white sneakers. "These are comfier... And I don't really wear heels anymore."

His face falls as he looks you in your eyes. It's like he can feel the confidence leaving you with every passing second. "Baby.. Are you still thinking about what that girl said?.. I don't care if you wear heels.. It's not like you're taller than me in them." 

He had a point, you're only 5'10, and even in heels Riki still had a couple inches on you. "What if I was though?... Would you care?" You ask as he shakes his head. "Of course not.. If I cared that much about your height I'd be somewhere with a short girl right now.. I wanna be with you, I don't care about how tall you are.."

He takes a few steps closer, staring down at you as he kisses your forehead. "Plus, I don't have to break my spine to kiss you... Easier access." He smiles, giving you a soft kiss to your lips as you pull away giggling. "Okay.. okay, I get it.."

He smiles, tilting your chin upwards as he kisses you again. "Don't be so hard on yourself.. I love you, alright?" You nod, hands resting gently on his waist as you gazed into his eyes. "I love you too.." 

Shortly after the small pep talk, you guys leave the house, you're not really paying attention to where Riki is driving, your sole focus on choosing what songs to play on the aux.

When the car stops, though, you're puzzled. "Where are we?..." You ask as Riki smiles. "I figured we should hang out by ourselves... You seem more comfortable when it's just us.."

You sigh, shaking your head. "But you wanted to go to the party.." You respond with a pout as Riki nods. "We'll go later.. You know Jake and Heeseung's parties go on all night.. We can be fashionably late." 

You decide to go along with it, getting out of the car and following behind him. You didn't like drinking on an empty stomach anyway.

You walk inside the diner, hand tightly entertwined with Riki's as you wait to be seated. Another couple walks in, and you make eye contact with the woman, instantly regretting it, but smiling to hide your awkwardness.

"How tall are you?" She asks and you glance at her, stunned by the question. "Uhmm... I-" You struggle and she immediately apologizes. "Sorry, I was just curious.. Was that rude of me.."

"No, it's fine.." You lie, "I'm 5'10.." You respond as she gasps. "Wow, you're taller than my boyfriend..."

At her words, you glance at Riki, hoping she'll shut up. He only let's go of your hand, wrapping his arm around your waist instead and squeezing your hip.

"So, since you're tall I guess your boyfriend asks you to reach stuff instead?" She asks rudely and Riki shakes his head, gesturing for you not to reply and entertain her.

She scoffs when you ignore her. "Rude.. You think just because you're taller you can act like a bitch.. Excuse me for trying to spark conversation."

You're holding back tears as she degrades you, and Riki is fuming beside you, pushing you behind him as he glares at the couple. "Hey, man.. Learn to keep your chihuahua on her leash.." He spits as the other man scoffs. "Like we're afraid of you."

"Save the talk, shortstack. Make your girlfriend apologize for calling my girlfriend a bitch." He steps closer to the guy, slightly towering over him as the man's girlfriend rolls her eyes. "The world doesn't revolve around your girlfriend. If her feelings are hurt, she needs to get over it.."

Riki is about to say something else, but the waitress comes back over, saying that your table was ready. 

He decides to let it go, gesturing for you to walk in front of him as you both walk towards your table. He whispers something to the waitress that you can't hear, but you're sure it was about the couple because shortly after, they're being asked to leave.

"You okay?.." He asks as you nod. "Thank you for defending me.." You say as he smiles. "Don't thank me.. I'll always defend my pretty girl... You're height only adds to your beauty.. That runt was only jealous because she has to wait for Mr. Loser to reach the top shelf." You laugh at his words, feeling comfortable again. 

The next hour is spent with the two of you laughing together and making predictions as to what would be happening at the party when you both arrive later. You were sure they'd be playing truth or dare, but Riki just knew that beer pong had to be it.

When you finally got there though, you won because they were playing truth or drink. As soon as the two of you were spotted, Jake was quick to get up from his seat. "If it isn't my favorite couple! Come play!" 

You both simply sat in the circle, knowing that it's impossible to refuse Jake when he asks you to play a game. 

You greeted the other familiar faces you were used to, but for the most part you were quiet. Sometimes you simply preferred to watch Riki interact with his friends. The bright smile on his face was enough to keep you entertained. 

After everyone greeted Riki, Jake was adamant that the game continue, so he tells Heeseung to spin the bottle. 

You watch as it lands on Jay, and he sighs. "Can I get a normal question this time?" He asks with a laugh as Heeseung snickers. "Normal questions don't exist with Jaeyun." 

Jake seems to be thinking hard for a minute before finally asking the question. "Have you and your girlfriend ever been caught in the middle of fucking?" He asks and Jay immediately sighs, glancing at his girlfriend who simply shrugs her shoulders.

"Yes. We got caught by Sunghoon." He answers as Sunghoon laughs from his seat across from Jay. "I was looking for the jacket you borrowed. It's not my fault you didn't lock the door." 

You all laugh at the explanation, and then it's only a moment before Heeseung spins the bottle once more.

This time it lands on you. You're already nervous at what kind of question Jake will ask, but you decide to just let loose and answer if you can.

"What really happened that time you and Riki were locked in the bathroom at my last party?" He questions as you raise an eyebrow, glancing at Riki. "Nothing happened.." 

Heeseung glances between the two of you, eyebrows raised. "Nothing happened? I find that hard to believe."

"No seriously. She got annoyed at someone, so I was calming her down. Nothing else happened." Riki explains as you nod. At the confession though, Jake grows more curious. "Annoyed at who?"

"I don't remember, I was drunk..." You shrug, "She was rude as fuck though.." You answer as Jungwon hums. "What did she say to you?" He asks as Riki sighs. "She started talking about her height in a disrespectful way. What did she say, babe?" Riki questions as you raise your brow in thought. "She said something along the lines of her and her boyfriend wanting a threesome so they could climb my tree. Some dumb shit like that. It was fucking annoying."

Sunoo chuckles at your words. "What the fuck kinda question is that. I would've swung on her ass." He says as Riki nods. "Trust me, she almost did." 

You laugh at the memory, nodding in agreement with Riki's statement. Your smile quickly fades when some guy you're not familiar with speaks up. "Maybe you were the rude one.. It's seemed like a compliment. Maybe you should've hopped off your high ass horse and been nice about it." 

Riki's smile is also transformed into a scowl as he looks at the guy. "Fuma. You're joking, right?" He asks as the brunette scoffs. "I mean. I'm not wrong. Your girlfriend thinks that she's untouchable just because she's a fucking giant." 

At that, Riki is quick to rise from his chair, his tone challenging Fuma's. "You're just mad because my girl could stand on her tip toes and be taller than your sorry ass." 

Fuma scoffs, mirroring Riki's standing position. "Yeah right. Everyone knows that shorter girls are better. The least your girlfriend could've done was have a nice body to make her height look less awkward." Before Fuma can even finish speaking, Riki attempts to launch at him. Sunghoon and Jay are quick to hold the younger male back though. 

You're simply watching, fighting back tears. Heeseung observes your expression, and shields you, leading you into the kitchen. Once you're away from the drama, he sighs. "I'm sorry.. Fuma's drunk. I'm sure he didn't mean it."

You nod, inhaling deeply to keep yourself from crying and ruining your makeup. 

Next, Jake is walking into the kitchen, an apologetic expression adorning his face. "I'm so sorry, Y/n... I shouldn't have asked the question... I didn't mean to start all this." His tone is filled with worry and you sniffle, taking his hands in yours. "Its not your fault, Jake... Don't apologize."

He kisses both of your hands, pulling you into a hug as he rubs your back. "Please don't be upset.." You pull away, patting his shoulder. "I'm not upset, it's fine..."

You glance towards the entry way as Sunghoon and Jay walk in, both having a tight grasp on Riki. They let him go once he finally calms down, and he immediately makes  bee-line towards you, replacing Jake in front of you. 

The four of them then leave, giving you and Riki the space to talk. "Are you okay?.." He asks as you shake your head, finally letting yourself cry. "What did I do to him?... Why would he say those things about me..?" You ask as Riki sighs, pulling you against him as he kisses your head, his hand rubbing your back in, smooth, circular motions. 

"Shh... It's okay... You're perfect.. He was just being an asshole." He presses multiple kisses to your temple, pulling back slightly to press a slightly longer kiss to your lips. "You know I don't like it when you cry.."

You nod, wiping your tears as Riki cups your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks. "You don't believe him do you?.." He asks as you shake your head, earning a soft smile and a kiss from Riki. "Good, because you're perfect.. Tall or short, big or small... I don't care what you look like because I love you.. Okay?"

You nod, fidgeting with his belt loops as hugs you again. "You love me too, right?" He questions as you nod eagerly, pulling back to look at him. "Of course.. I love you so much.." You reassure, giving him a kiss to affirm your words, and he smiles. "Now.. Let's go have some fun."

[luvfy0dor]

"You Are In Love!!" - BSD x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Fyodor Dostoevsky, Chuuya Nakahara ♡

Warnings; none pure fluff and sweetness

Description; Drabbles (I actively attempted to make these shorter than the timeless ones but I clearly have a yapping issue) of Chuuya and Fyodor based off of You Are in Love by Taylor Swift in honor of 1989 (Taylor's Version) today. This one had a lot of cute little prompts for small scenarios so I thought I'd take the opportunity.

A/n; yawning is contagious you guys I proved it because I wrote about yawning and then I yawned, also I have so many 1989 TV thoughts now so im gonna write them while writing asks at the same time, so im sorry for those of you guys who dont like Taylor, that's totally valid. Hmu w/ music themed requests if you wanna see a different song.

Fyodor Dostoevsky ੈ♡

“Coffee at midnight”

You sat on your boyfriends lap, facing him while he typed away, working on God knows what. You didn't ask what it was at that very moment, too sleepy care. You breathed in his scent, your arms tightly hugged around his torso. Any time he took a break from typing, his left hand immediately went to stroke your back, his lips moving and ghosts of whispers slip out from between them as he read over the text. You nuzzled into his neck, pressing sweet, chaste kisses to his pale skin every now and again.

You were playing with his hair softly when you could hear him yawn. "My dear, do you mind getting up? I'm going to make some coffee for myself." He murmurs, his head turned a bit in your direction. You nod and get off of his lap, standing up and rubbing your eyes a bit. "Yeah, sure, but coffee? It's midnight.." now you were yawning. He nods, standing up and heading straight for the kitchen. You trail behind him, drowsily following along. Luckily, the lights of your kitchen were dimmed rather than being at full brightness. He stood against the counter, starting the coffee machine and grabbing a mug for himself while the drink started to brew.

"Do you want some too?" He asks, noticing your stare before you yourself even could. You shook your head, holding your upper arms for the warmth that Fyodors body had previously been providing to you. You yawned again, making him smile ever so slightly in amusement. You leaned against the counter with your eyes closed, almost starting to nod off. The two minutes it took to make the coffee passed within the blink of an eye, you being woken from your sleepy and dazed state by Fyodors thumb caressing your cheekbone.

"Moya Lyubov, you don't have to stay up with me. I appreciate it, but if you're tired you should sleep." He softly murmurs while looking into your eyes. "No, no, it's fine, don't worry." You say, standing straight up and walking with him back to his little work space. He sat right back down on the chair, opening his arms for you to crawl right back onto him. He sipped on his coffee, and the aroma made you regret your decision to reject a cup for yourself. You moved your head to rest on his shoulder sideways instead of upright so you could get a better look at him while he drank from the ceramic mug.

He glanced at you while he did so, sighing into the glass and handing it to you without even needing to hear anything from your mouth; he just knew you that well. Perhaps it was your predictably, or maybe it was his attentive habits regarding your body language and every expression. You took the mug, bringing it to your lips and drinking a small amount, making sure that you didn't chug it and leave nothing for him. You handed him back the glass, wiping your top lip off before you pressed a kiss to his cheek, making him smile a bit.

"So much for not wanting any, hm?" He teases quietly, leaning his head against yours. You just roll your eyes at him. "Well I changed my mind a little." You mumbled, your hands rubbing up and down his sides gently. Your eyelids felt as if they had weights attached to them as it became harder to keep yourself awake. Fyodor had taken notice of this numerous times, before getting coffee, while getting coffee, and even after you had taken a sip. If the caffeine had any effect on you it clearly was not immediate.

"That's alright, I don't mind sharing it with you." He says quietly. You hum in response as a thank you while you drifted off into a calming sleep. Fyodor noticed you fully knocked out after about a minute or two. He smiled and kissed the side of your head, whispering to you. "Goodnight, my love, sleep well."

Chuuya Nakahara ੈ♡

“You kiss on sidewalks”

You looked up at the stars in the night sky while you walked down the streets of Yokohama with Chuuya. Late night walks were never something you found enjoyment in before Chuuyas presence in your life. Not only did Chuuyas ability and profession absolutely make you feel safer, but he was someone to talk to while you walked. It wasn't silent, but filled with conversation about your day, passions, etc.

His hand was holding yours while he listened to you rambled on about a book you had started reading, explaining the plot to him. Chuuya wasn't an absent listener, he didn't just nod and "ohhh" every now and again, he actually asked questions about it and commented on the actions of characters and what not. Chuuya didn't ramble much, but when he did you offered the same undivided attention. You loved watching his eyes light up whenever he talked about something that excited him; he specifically got riled up about his missions, explaining what he did with as much detail as he was allowed to.

And that's what was happening. You walked along the path, holding your boyfriends hand while he told you about how he acquired a new small cut on his cheek. You asked him about it and he got so worked up, it was almost funny. The amount of slandering he put on the name of some random guy he had to fight was a little much, but it was his opponent and enemy, so you didn't comment on it. His other hand was moving around very quickly while he passionately told you about the encounter, annunciating every word and speaking clearly.

"He was so annoying. Obviously I dealt with him real fast, but now I've got this cut on my face." He says while rolling his eyes. You snicker a little. "Oh yeah, I totally get that. He sounds like he sucks, but I think the scar is kinda hot, to be honest." You laugh, standing in front of him and brushing his bangs out of his eyes. He scoffs and places his hands on your arms. "Ofcourse you do, doll, you're...well, you're you." He says, rubbing your shoulders a bit.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Your eyebrows were furrowed as you stare him down. "I know you like the back of my hand, I knew you'd find somethin' like that attractive. It's like, your thing." He says, the street light you stood under casting a yellow glow overtop the two of you. The shadows that projected onto his skin because of the angle hid the blush on his face relatively well. "I pay attention to you, ya know.." he murmurs, making you grin and gently cup his face.

"Oh I know you pay attention to me; everytime you bring up some random small detail about me it makes my heart flutter." You say, looking down at his lips through the black veil of darkness on his face. "I'm glad I can make ya swoon, darlin'.." he mutters, both of you leaning into each other, your hands interlocked and giving each other soft squeezes as your lips gently collided with one another. You pulled away after a couple seconds, but you felt yourself pulled right back in as the two of you softly giggled with one another, his gloved hand pressed against the back of your neck.

Your lips moved against his, soft hums of approval coming from his throat. When you did finally part, the both of you looked into the other's eyes for a second before breaking the stare and grinning. "I love you a whole lot, y'know?" He says, sliding his arm around your waist. You did the same and nodded. "I know, I know. I love you a whole lot, too." You say, kissing his cheek while the two of you walk home to retreat for the night.

A/n; I have a couple of things to say; 1- this is not a theme switch, it's only blue and white for 1989 TV, 2- I know these aren't the most obviously related to the song, but I felt inspired. 3- I was gonna do more characters for this but I don't wanna in this moment, would y'all wanna see that?

[twistedbunni]

Hi there!! I love your last Buggy fic and I was wondering if you could come up with something where Buggy has never slept with anyone before??? I love the thought of him being so cocky and scary with people but is secretly terrified because he’s so self conscious of his image?! Thank you in advance!!

Oooh I like this idea, sorry it's taken me a while to write it.

A/N: obviously this will be smut and I've decided to do afab!reader but if there's an interest I could write an amab!reader version at a later point.

Excuse any mistakes btw Im too tired proof read this time.

You sat in a small pub enjoying a few drinks before you'd set off on you next adventure. Admittedly the pub was rather dingy and had hardly any other patrons in it besides yourself. Honestly you were debating whether it'd be better to pay for your few drinks you'd had and go to a different pub to finish your drinking.

You'd been somewhat hoping to find someone at least somewhat attractive that you could drunkenly sleep with but it seemed like the longer you said in this shit hole of a place the less likely you were to be able to achieve that. Standing to leave you heard someone approach and speak to you.

"What's a flashy lil thing like yourself doing in a dumb of a place like this?" Standing there was a tall pirate in clown makeup, and man was he attractive. Sure he looked a little messed up, ya know like a man who's life was a little fucked up, but it made him all the more hot.

"I was just about to leave actually, considering you and me are the only 2 good looking people here, I'd say it's gonna be hard to find my next drunken fling if I stay here any longer." You finished off the remainder of your drink, moving past him to close out your tab.

He moved to follow you. "Aw, but I just got here. How bout you stay a few more minutes and I'll treat you to a few more drinks, my treat. After all it'd be such a shame for you to leave so soon sweetheart."

You eyed him up a bit, a smirk forming on your lips. "Alright but it better be worth my while or else you'll be leaving here with less bones intact."

"Oh trust me babe, no leaves my presence unsatisfied by The Great Buggy the Clown." He places a hand on your hip and guides you back to a secluded booth in the back, both of you sliding into the same booth.

After some introductions of yourselves to each other and you each other, you decided to just get to the main point already. "So what are you doing here handsome? I mean I've already basically admitted I'm here only to find someone to spend my last night here with, but what about you?"

"I just came for the booze, but then I saw you looking so lonely by yourself and I thought I should fix that. It's merely a benefit that you're looking for someone to occupy your time with." He says placing an arm around your shoulder.

"What makes you think I'd want to fuck you though? perhaps I'm just using you for free liquor before I go find someone to satisfy my desires and needs." Leaning into his side and up so your face was intimately close to his.

His free hand came up to cradle your chin as he moved his face closer till your lips barely touched. "You'd be an absolute idiot if you chose anyone other than me to satisfy you tonight."

Honestly his cocky confidence, the alcohol that was now hitting your system and all those past lonely months at sea with the desire to just find someone good-looking to fuck was all adding up to being fully ready to give yourself to this clown. You closed the miniscule distance and kissed him, he of course confidently kissed you back, a hand of his detaching to squeeze your upper thigh.

Before you two could get to caught up in anything you cut your kiss short, pulling back a bit to speak. "Let get out of here, this place is too gross for us to continue this here."

A small flash of panic flooded his eyes for a moment though he nodded, moving out of the booth helping you do the same. Guiding you towards the door with his arm somewhat around you, a hand resting on your ass, he threw some money on the counter to pay as you two walked out. Luckily you had been staying at a quaint little hotel a block down so the pair of you headed there, his hand still on your ass seeming to be kneading it somewhat with excitement.

As soon as you were in your room he'd pressed you to the closest wall, lips instantly on your neck with hands gripping your hips as he grinded his own against yours. He'd already grown quite the bulge in that short span of time from you leaving the pub till now. His movements were a little messy but you'd figured it was the alcohol and he was earning some moans from you regardless so what did it matter.

Taking your own hands you began to undress him as much as you could in that moment, throwing his hat and bandana to the side, undoing the shirt that was more like a vest he wore and sliding it and his large coat off his arms. Damn we're his arms toned, and his hair that now fell down his back in the loose braid he'd kept it in under the bandana was so soft as you tugged it a bit.

"God you really know how to rile a man up don't you sweetheart? You like pulling on my hair like that?" He groaned into your ear, making you shiver a bit.

"Just trying to encourage you to get to get on with the show mr. Clown." You teased, it obviously having an affect on him as he picked you up and laid you on the bed.

His hands were quick to undo your pants and slide them down your thighs, and since you'd been expecting to get some today you had opted out of wearing anything under them. Of course he teased you for it briefly before getting back to work. Planting a few lite bites and kisses on your thigh, before running his tongue along your folds.

He paused for far too long for your liking, though when you'd look to see what the hell was taking so long you'd seen his face twisted up a bit in an expression you really couldn't read right.

"oh God don't tell me I taste bad, or God maybe I smell bad." You'd panicked a bit, suddenly self-conscious at the state your nether region might be in. "I mean I bathed today but maybe i-"

He cut you off with a gentle hand running along your thigh comfortingly. "No, No! From that little bit I got you taste divine, it's just uh..." His face was turning red and he looked away embarrassed, it only fueling your thoughts to start running rampant again till he'd spoken again. "I've actually never been with anyone before. I don't want to fuck this up."

After the few seconds of shock wore off you started to laugh a bit. "You mean the great Buggy, who said it'd be an idiot if I slept with anyone besides you, has no experience at all?"

He looked somewhat hurt and defeated as he nodded. Clearly he was beyond embarrassed and nervous in this moment and you'd found it a bit cute. This tough looking pirate that talked a big game about his skills, and had a bounty on his head as well as all the rumors you'd heard of the damage he'd do to any town he'd dock in, was now kneeling inches away from your cunt admitting he had absolutely no experience at all.. Honestly it was making him look a bit pathetic, but damn did that turn you on.

You sat up a bit and cupped his cheek, a few tears had formed in his eyes as a result of his own mind worrying you'd laugh him out the room and tell everyone just how pathetic he was. He worked so hard to get himself this far and honestly it terrified him to have it all ruined by one bad encounter, or even worse he put on a bad performance when it counted the most right now.

"Buggy, please look at me." Breaking out of his thoughts and obeying your request he turned to meet your gaze, much more tender then he'd expected it to be. You rubbed your thumb along his cheek as you began to speak again. "I'm sorry I teased you. It's okay, honestly everyone is beyond nervous they're first time. I'm not bothered by you not having any experience, In fact I'm a little honored I'll be your first."

His eyes lit up at that. "Really?"

You smiled warmly at him. "Yea I can show you how best to please someone. Plus I'll have the satisfaction of knowing I was the first to sleep with The Fantastically Flash Buggy."

He laughed a bit at that and thanked you.

"Here give me your hand Bug." You guided his fingers to your clit, showing him the best way to stimulate it. "Mm rub gentle circle like this. Always remember it's a bundle of nerves not a door knob your trying to polish."

After guiding his fingers for a minute you'd let I'm try for himself, and damn he was learning quick. You had to fight moans as you began instructing him on how to finger next. Telling him it's not all about in and out movements or speed but more so about finding the spots that bring your partner the most pleasure.

"Sorry if I'm a little eager but can I try using my mouth more on you, I cant get that flavor of you I sampled earlier out my head." He had asked and you had to restrain yourself from practically shouting yes before he'd even finished speaking.

If he was already learning and figuring out all you'd taught him already was any kind of sign of what's to come, that what's to come would surely be you. You gave him a few tips but ultimately let him somewhat learn through experimenting.

He started out giving slow licks over your clit, swirling his tongue a bit over it, before moving down to tease your entrance. Earning plenty of moans and whimper in approval of his actions his tongue slowly slid into as far as it could go then back out. Buggy built up a rhythm of movements with his mouth, he was really starting to feel he was getting the hang of it till he had heard you mumble something bout his nose.

Halting his feasting he looked up at you. "What's wrong? Am I doing something wrong, is my nose bothering you?"

You should your head, panting a bit. "No, you're doing great, your nose was just starting to run against me and it was driving me crazy.. in a good way though!"

Buggy smiled and made a comment about how his big nose was good for something before he returned to feasting on you once more. He was dangerously good at this despite never having done this before, and he was quickly bringing you to the edge. Your hands tangled into his long blue locks, gently pushing and encouraging him to not stop his current actions.

"Mmm, Buggy~ don't stop please, I'm so close~" Your pleading moans only served to encourage him more, his nose rubbing against you a bit quicker as he ate you out with seemingly more hunger.

You came undone against his face, gripping tightly on his hair. Of course being the gentleman he was he licked you clean, savoring your taste and storing the memory of it away for later. Standing up, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as his other hand undid his pants.

"Would you like me to return the favor babe?" You asked, sitting up to help him free himself from his pants.

"No need, I desperately need to be inside you right now." He sat down on the bed, motioning you to straddle him.

Your own desperation to feel him fueling you to quickly hop on his lap facing him. You pressed your folds against his member grinding against it as you began to kiss him. Groans spilled from his mouth and into yours as you teased him, his hands gripping your waist with enough force that you were sure would leave bruised later.

Breaking away from the kiss you guided the head of his cock to your hole, slowly sliding down on it till his whole length was buried inside you. "Let me get us started, you just take notes and enjoy for a while."

He nodded, a groan rumbling from his throat as you began to move. You started with a slow pace so he could get use to the feeling of your walks around his dick without overwhelming him or causing him to bust too soon. He whined a bit, begging you to move faster, you obliged bouncing on him at a quicker pace that earned plenty of noises from both of you.

God was his dick good, sure you were doing the work but honestly you didn't mind if it meant being able to feel him inside you. He was hitting all the right spots and thanks to your pace he was hitting them with perfect timing.

He halted your hips with his hands, causing you to look confused at him. "Sorry I just can't hold back anymore, this feels too good." With that he flipped the pair of you over. Now you were on your back with him pressing your legs up to your chest with him kneeling between them. " I just really need to pound you into the mattress right now."

With that he started thrusting himself into you at a dangerously pleasureful pace. You couldn't help but practically scream out his name and strings of curses as he seamlessly hit your gspot with perfect precision and force.

"Fuck you feel so much better than anything I could have imagined. God your gonna practically milk the cum outta me sweetheart." Buggy groaned giving a few harsher thrusts as he spoke, never breaking the rhythm he had though.

It was growing increasingly clear that neither of you would be able to last must longer, though Buggy was determined to make you finish first as his hand slipped down play with your clit the exact way you'd taught him too earlier.

"Damn you learn quick Buggy." Your words brought a shit eating grin to his face. "I'm gonna~"

He silenced you with a passionate kiss, moans spilling between your mouths as you came undone, the feeling of you cumming around him caused him to follow you soon after.

After his hips had stopped and you'd both come down from your respective highs, Buggy laid down beside you quickly pulling you into his arms.

"I'm only gonna say this once, Thank you for not only being my first but also somewhat teaching me." Some embarrassment was evident in his tone but you figured it wasn't worth it to tease him about it after all he'd just done.

"Bit of a shame to know you'll use that knowledge to pleasure other people besides me now." You closed your eyes, growing tired from the day as well as the alcohol still running in your system.

You heard him choke a small bit. "Are you implying you're jealous at the thought of me being with anyone else now?"

"..night.." Sleep was taking you now and there was nothing that could be done about it.

"How dare you fall asleep without answering me!" He knew there was nothing he could do to stop it though as he heard you softly snoring against his chest. He sighed in defeat. "Good night sweetheart."

[crazylittlejester]

i'd love to hear all your head canons on Warriors! and the others too if you have any. :)

i'm trying to get into writing fanfiction but its difficult when the canon version of Link is just "blank stare and sometimes arson" /j. Warriors is one of the Links i have the most difficulty with characterization lol (Legend, Hyrule, and Four or also giving me trouble /lh)

aight this is definitely gonna be so much more than you asked for but im not havin a great day and you asked about my special guy and gave me permission to yap about him, so here are a lot of headcanons + the way that I write/characterize him in my own fics! (my bad for spelling errors or if this is incoherent)

- I hc he came from a rather large family out in the country, so he had a lot of sisters growing up and a lot more space than the city but he moved to the city and has stayed there since he joined the army at 15/16

- I know most people hc all the Link’s parents are dead but NOT ME, Wars still has his mom, but he hasn’t been home since he left. I hc he hasn’t been able to bring himself to go home because he feels like the war changed him so much as a person that he won’t belong there and nothing will be the same, and that his family won’t take him back because they’re expecting the same kid who left and he just isnt that person anymore

- I will die on the hill that this man is a fake blond (and that he also straightens his hair). I hc he started dying his hair because he was so desperate to fit in and also to look like the other heroes because his image is incredibly important to him. A whole war was started over him because Cia wanted him, he feels like he needs to at least LOOK like that classic image of the hero. Tied in with this i think he has a lot of insecurity about himself and how he looks because he forces himself to look such a particular way and he’s created this character of himself and acts it out so thoroughly he’s forgotten who HE actually is

- This is a popular hc for him because in his game soldiers turn against him, and you have to fight them in game so a lot of people hc there have been assassination attempts against him and that these include poison. So I hc he has a very intense fear of food that sometimes prevents him from being able to eat all together because he can’t trust where it comes from. Some days he has to watch it be made, some days he has to make it himself, and rarely he just can’t do it. This is all based on my own food allergies and fear of cross contamination, and I also gave him a safe food: oranges! My thinking behind this is that when I get like this eating prepackaged foods are the most comforting to me because it makes me feel like it couldn’t have touched something I’m allergic to, and oranges have a peel which is just a barrier between them and the world. Can they still be poisoned? Absolutely, and Wars knows this, but he’s irrationally dependent on them because in his mind they’re safe because he NEEDS them to be, otherwise he just can’t eat. Like deep down he knows it’s stupid and they’re not guaranteed safe for him, but when he’s panicking he’ll grab those because he’s convinced himself they’re safe and he’s yet to be wrong

- Purely self indulgent hc but I also gave him my blood sugar issues, which is truly just an angst source for me because he’s caught in a trap of having an issue where he HAS to eat semi frequently or bad things will happen but his deep rooted fear of all his food being contaminated makes it really really hard for him to do so

- I hc he’s got a journal that has so so much in it that’s a mix between a diary, battle plans, history book in the making, sketchbook, and more. To me he’s got such a big big brain and a thirst for knowledge and he absorbs history like a SPONGE. He met all these people from other eras during the war and he learned so much about them and their cultures and times, and now he’s going through time to some of these places??? He’s writing that shit DOWN. He’s absolutely the first one to figure out where everyone is on the timeline. He also got used to observing soldiers during battle and noting their strengths and weaknesses so he could plan where to put them in battle and thats just somethin he cannot turn off, so he analyzes the chain and all his notes on them are in this book too. He TELLS them these things, with the intent to help them grow stronger, and he absolutely offers to help them work things out and because of this the group has really become a solid unit. Also the whole thing is written in his native language that NONE of the others can read (I hc he’s brazilian/scottish and his native language is the equivalent of portuguese)

- He’s a very touch oriented person, though the war and his trust issues kinda messed that up for him, but he IS getting better with it. He does much better if he’s the one initiating contact, and he’s definitely a shoulder to lean on for the others and his hugs are very nice

- I hc he HATES shit rubbing against his neck, which is one of the reasons why that scarf is so thoroughly pinned down

- I also hc he came from a family of tailors, so he’s definitely one of the people the chain goes to if they need sewing help

- He’s the one who gives the others haircuts, and he taught Wind how to properly care for his curly hair

- I hc he has temperature regulation issues because of the severe burn scarring Volga left him with, so he and Wild are ALWAYS the first two to overheat

i have more, i could talk about him for hours, but my brain is getting fuzzy so i’ll stop here for now lmao sorry for yapping so much 😭

[gacha99]

I did the Shamane event and I have to say his story is really gut wrenching T_T Even though it was super depressing, I found it be a really cool story nonetheless. I feel like Shamane's story is one about acceptance and moving on, as well as how to relearn your empathy for others after they've hurt you, or after your empathy has led you down the "wrong path".

His family situation is complicated, because he's constantly dealing with this inner turmoil and guilt over what happened because he feels like he was way too flippant about his families warnings against humans, and their need to stay away from humans all together. He feels that he is the one to blame for what happened to his family, even though it was humans that did that awful crime at the behest of Manus Vindictae.

Even when he's in that nightmare, he's looking for someone else to blame or someone else to point the finger at besides himself, which is why his mind keeps conjuring up Kumar even though he knows she wasn't even there that day.

But in actuality the only one to blame is the Manus, not Kumar or Shamane, or even Shamane's empathetic nature towards all things human or arcanist.

During the time we see him with the shaman, Shamane is trying to learn from this wizened old man who has made a place for himself in the wilderness. He respects and knows all of the rules of the place he's in, and he doesn't try to take claim over the land or food. When a sheep of his own gets captured by wolves, he stops Shamane from even helping because in his own words "No life should belong to me".

In a sense, he has learned how to adapt to the environment he's in and he respects the rules of the critters and animals in the forest, just as they respect him. To me, the old shaman that Shamane meets is a representation of the struggle that Mor Panhk faces with its Human and Arcanist community.

Unlike how Shamane learns from the shaman in the woods how to live peacefully among and with the nature around him, humans in this world cannot seem to trust or tolerate arcanists even if they "act civilly" (Hell, i'd even say Toothfairies story event was a prime example of how humans will never really respect or care for Arcanists even if their family is influential or rich) We never really learn the full extent of why those human friends of Shamane essentially betrayed him and decided to burn their tree down, but that lack of empathy towards Arcanists is what the Manus used to their advantage to have the tree burned in the first place.

I also think that the act of what the humans did and what the manus ordered them to do had such an effect on Shamane's family that it didn't allow for them to even love each other in that adversity.

The lack of empathy for others is ultimately the thing that led them to this path, not the other way around. And that's what Shamane learns from the shaman, and why he spends so much time learning how to live with the environment around him. Because he learns that everything around him is impacted by his own choices, and he has to try and walk in the shoes of a critter or a wolf to understand why they do what they do, rather than view them as monsters to be destroyed.

And even when his empathy for other creatures lands him hurt and injured once more, it doesn't matter because he still cares in the end and tries to help even a small little carbuncle. Shamane decides to offer up the empathy his family was never offered by humans, rather than let the actions of them ruin his own image of the world around him.

It's not really a story about forgiveness, but about how to heal and become a better person after you've faced a terrible action done toward you.

Anyways if I don't get him im gonna be so sad </3

[fromtenthousandfeet]

https://www.tumblr.com/fromtenthousandfeet/766065012296056833/so-basically-what-im-getting-is-that-hybe-and?source=share

You know I've worked under a CEO who had a massive ego. With men like that and companies that have a culture like that, you'll see that ultimately decisions will be based on the CEOs "gut instincts". I'd bring up data driven proposals based on market research and argue for initiatives I believed in because I naively thought my success = company profits from my proposals. I quickly realised that nope, people who showed worse results than me got shifted to better projects because they were massaging the CEOs ego better. You'd have treat his ego like a delicate baby bird egg and make him think what you want is his decision. This is a dynamic in a lot of places but it's esp strong in asian workplaces and being a woman also unfortunately makes a difference. I admit instead of sticking by my principles, I adopted a similar approach and immediately started getting more acclaim for my work even though imo it was actually worse than before. I ultimately got tired of all of it and moved to an mnc where things are less about catering to one man.

Anyway this long rant was just to say, you'd think that in the face of overwhelming evidence that they're not backing a strong solo talent like Jimin enough, this dumbass music label would course correct and fix their mistakes. This is why so many pjms think Jimin's not continuing with hybe. But I'm gonna say men like bang si hyuk who probably solely credits himself as the brains behind the success of BTS more than any member and think their thoughts are always right, would rather double down than admit they made a mistake and did not identify Jimin's solo talent correctly.

Of course I don't have any inside scoop on Hybe and perhaps I'm projecting too much of my personal experience here but as much as I don't like MHJ, I can identify with that aspect of her complaints which were obvious from the messages she exposed that she exchanged with BSH. Or that post by the Hybe employee you shared who talked about getting pushed out of the company. Hell even the myriad controversies that keep getting exposed about Hybe employees bitching about their artists on forums, getting exposed for insider trading, potentially being on DC gallery and selling info to ssngs, the cloying nature of that internal report, embezzlement scandals etc - I know they're a big corporation but it is not normal to have so many issues in such a short period of time. It's a symptom of a toxic workplace where things are festering under the surface.

A bunch of misogynistic, old Korean men decided to back JK and his bad boy aesthetic instead of Jimin whose appeal is more soft and unisex - it's not surprising right? We talk about how men look down on kpop esp boy groups because their fanbase is primarily women, and we talk at length about how sea countries have a higher tendency to shun Jimin because of some internalised homophobia (wild considering we don't know anything about his romantic life) - but these are the same type of people who are in charge of orgs like Hybe. Of course their asses don't back him or see his potential. Also why they're struggling so hard to break into western markets. They cannot see beyond their own twisted ideas of what makes a successful artist - esp a male solo artist

Truly I think they personally don't see his appeal or like his music and they think that means he can't make it even though at this point it's becoming kind of obvious he's perhaps the most popular member in the US and latam. And damn with who, he's doing amazing in Russia, Europe and India too. Will they get their heads out of their asses and give him the promo he deserves? I really don't know. I don't think he's parted ways with Hybe like some pjms so unless he plans to in the future, I can only hope they're eventually forced to see the light.

PS I'm from a sea country, currently working in the middle east so I don't bring up Asian work culture or sea / asian countries to be derogatory but from personal experience. Also sorry about how long this got!

Thank you to the anon who sent this to me so long ago (in response to the weekly industry trends leak). I've been waiting for the right time to share this and today feels like the day with the announcement of the new BigHit CEO announcement.

I saw the most amazing comment from a KPJM today - only pigs survive in pigsties. Maybe the new CEO will be great and a much needed fresh start, but it's also possible that she's held on for so long in the company because she's willing to do what's necessary to keep her job and move up the ladder. We shall see. I'm staying neutral for now.

Thank you for sharing your personal experience and your insights.

[enha-sua]

(🔴) ... DIVE STUDIOS X ENHYPEN [ JAY JAKE AND SUA ] !

💬nia notes: since this was incredibly long , i only added the parts where sua would speak or someone would speak to or about her.

"boys and girls welcome to the daebak show , today i'm 3 incredibly talented and incredibly good looking people , they're from a group that you've probably heard of , that you're probably a fan of , and im a fan of them as well , ladies and gentlemen please give a big warm welcome to jay and jake of enhypen."

the trio clapped doing there group intro. "well guys welcome to the show , im glad to finally meet you guys , in person." eric said. "the last time we met was over the phone , on like a zoom call."

"sua this isn't my first time meeting you." she smiled. "but this is my first time with you on the show." she nodded , laughing. "yeah , we saw each other in busan , at the restaurant , with my sister." she said.

"so jay is from the states , and jake is from australia , but sua you're from new zealand , where you born there or did you move as well?" eric questioned. "i was born in new zealand , and then i moved to korea when i auditioned for enhypen." she said. "and does your family live here or are they still in new zealand?" "my mom's mom still lives here , and so does my sister , but the rest of family is in new new zealand."

"sua , what was the biggest surprise for you on tour?" eric asked. "uh , i think seeing all the fans from different countries, it was crazy." she said. "it's like , thousands of people are coming to see us preform , like people actually paid a lot of money to see us sing and dance , it was wild."

"growing up , did you guys always wanted to be musicians , like what inspired really inspired you to become who you are today?"

"sua weren't you gonna be a neurosurgeon?" jay asked , eric turned to you confused. "excuse me." she laughed. "how-how did you get here , how do you transition from that to this , were you like in college for it?"

"actually no , when i was a child i was studying really hard and that was the plan , but it went left and i started doing opera." that just made him even more confused. "her timeline is just the most bizarre thing." jake said. "it's not that crazy." she said. "so how'd you get to this point , im so intrested."

"my sister actually auditioned for i-land , and she wanted me to do it , and i did , thinking like there are thousands of people there's no way im gonna make it." she said. "but you did?" she nodded happily. "and now im here." she chuckled.

"are your parents supportive of what you do and encouraging of you being kpop stars?"

"my mom is , my dad he's more so on the realistic side." she said. "what do you mean , if you don't mind explaining." "well , as you said to jake , this industry is really cut throat , and he knew coming into this , i had no idea what i was getting myself into , and it was a chance that i might not make it , and still now everything change like that." she started. "and he's just like he's not belittling of it , but i think he'd rather i'd be studying to be a doctor." she explained. "ah , okay."

"do you guys remember your first audition song?" she thought about it. "i think it was here by alessia cara , it was the easiest song i could mesmerize quickly."

"have you had a moment , where it was like , uh , i think i want to give up? have you had those moments yet?" "i don't think it's like i can't do this anymore." she said. "but i often use to question myself , like is this the right decision? am i doing the right thing , i think that's how it is for me."

"what were you first impressions of each other?" "well everyone saw sua the first day we started filming the show." jake said. "oh really?" eric said. "yeah , and it wasn't shocking or anything because we knew it would be a few girls there , but it's just we've never seen her before even when training." jake said. "sua why is that?"

"that's because i avoided everyone as much as can." they all laughed. "like not even in a bad way , but in a , im gonna embarrass myself in front of these people , and i refuse to let that happen way." she said. "how'd you manage to do that?" she shrugged. "i guess no one was really looking for me , i was only there for four months , before the show started." she explained.

"well when you first talked to them , what was your impression?" she looked at jake. "can we talk about this?" he asked. "i mean i guess , we have before i think." she said. "what , what is it?" eric was intrested. "well me and jake didn't have a good impression of each other." she said. "really?" he said. "why not , you guys seem pretty close?"

"we are now." jake said. "yeah , now of course we are , but when we first met , it wasn't that good." she spoke. "why?"

"she's starting to realize it , when she's nervous or like in a situation that she isn't familiar with , she can sometimes come off as cold and i guess , i was a bit immature and i took it as like she doesn't want to be friends , so it's immature now that i think about it but it's way different now." jake explained. "yeah , i see now looking back , i didn't have this like look of don't bother me , but trust me i didn't really mind and i just don't think he saw that." eric nodded. "what a mature way of thinking?"

"and what did you two think of each other?" he pointed to sua and jay. "when i first talked to jay , i thought he was so cool." she admitted. "the way he carried himself , i just though wah , so cool." she said. "what about you jay?" he looked at her. "she was definitely quiet when i saw her , so i thought ah she must be nervous , but when i talked to her , i quickly realized she talks just as much as i do." she rolled her eyes. "i could never out talk you."

"okay , i heard you guys have a bunch of rules for your dorm , 7 rules for the enhypen dorm." he showed them the picture from en-house content. "ah those." she chuckled.

"are these all still in effect." "yeah they still are."

"sua still breaks the shower rule." she rolled her eyes. "it must be true , you rolled your eyes." she laughed. "not shower , i try and get up before everyone does , it's just that hair and make up does take forever." she said. "her skin care takes like 10 minutes alone." she nodded. "it really does , and my hair is thick so it takes a while to dry , make-up i do in my room so it's really just my hair."

"you all seem close , but if you had to chose one member to travel with , who would go with?" eric questioned. "sunoo." she said. "sunoo is just so fun to be around , he would make the best out of it." she explained. "i really want to go on vacation with him one day."

"what about shopping? would you also choose ni-ki." she shook her head yeah. "he also gives good advice when it comes to things like that , like if it's something that he knows won't be flattering he's like noona , put that back please im trying to help you , saves so much time because besides sunghoon these guys would lie to me just to get out of the store."

"what are you guys afraid of?" "spiders." she said. "oh im terrified of spiders , i will cry." "there was a spider in her and she slept in the living room for 2 days." jake brought up the embarrassing spider story. "2 days , why didn't anyone get it?"

"we tried , we couldn't find it , heeseung finally found it and got rid of it , but she wouldn't even go in to get clothes without someone." she blushed. "not my best moment."

they were talking about the I-land ghost. "where you scared sua , of the ghost." she shook her head. "a little , i think i was more so scared of the stories the other members would tell , because i haven't had any experiences with it and i was scared it would one say pop up on me."

"uh sua you actually have solo music , that you write and produce yourself." she nodded. "i do , i have three." she said. "that is so cool , when did you start producing?"

"i think in 2020 , i wanted to get into it because i thought it was cool , so i asked for help and then i released raise your glass as like a tester and people loved it , so then i went to release idoll and then recently it was love you twice." she explained. "that's so cool." she nodded. "i even got to preform idoll at our concert and jay taught me the chords on the guitar so i got to play." she said.

they played a quick game of rapid questions before they moved on to the album exchange.

"you three are the first to ever get this album , because it's not even out yet." he handed them the album. "thank you so much." she bowed , taking the album.

after going through the albums , unfortunately it was time to go. "is there anything else you want to say?"

"sua?" "uh , thank you for saving us , it was so fun , and engenes i can't wait to see you guys on tour , love you."

©️ENHA-SUA

[lains-reality]

hey lain! im so sorry if this post is long asf but i just spent like 25+ minutes reading your posts and replies to anons. i (well ego, actually) has spent every day since she learned about non-dualism seeking something that would "click." she was desperately trying to find what she needed to do to realize self, because as much as she told herself in her mind that she understands non-dualism, she really wasn't understanding. so anyway, she basically just had this feeling of "i'm done trying. this is exhausting and i'm so damn tired of this. there's nothing to try. the fact that i desire things and want to understand things etc., is all irrelevant." so with that, she started scrolling thru your posts, reading them fully rather than skimming them (she's lazy and doesn't like reading all the way, she always just skimmed long posts💀💀)

she just wanted the most simplest understanding on what to do and now she knows that it's literally just to stop identifying with ego. so i, my actual self, literally does not need to ask questions. i do not wonder what to do, all thoughts of "what do i have to fix" is ego. i do not have to convince ego that i am not her because... she isn't real and self doesn't think anyway, so anytime i have one of those exhausting mind battles where i think i'm telling ego that everything is fake and an illusion, i just need to remember that both of those thoughts are literally the ego. so feeling like i need to read more information, or i need to convince myself of something, will always be the ego, not ME. ALL THAT I NEED TO DO IS NOT IDENTIFY WITH EGO.

and let me tell you, i paused reading for a sec to "test it" (not necessarily testing anything but i was just getting into the feeling of not identifying) and i genuinely felt the difference. like i felt what i was supposed to, the freedom and desirelessness yk? every thought in my mind, every feeling i had, any desire i was thinking about "getting" i just said quietly said in my head, not me. that's all ego. and i didn't bother convincing or reassuring myself like "see its just ego so relax, okay i don't need to worry. i'm not ego! remember that!" because the only thing that ever needs reassurance is ego, and reassuring her is identifying with her. i didn't bother trying to "believe" anything because i knew anything further was ego. and if i am not ego, it is absolutely pointless to do anything more than just observe the thoughts and let it pass. i'd be holding my own self back from freedom by doing anything more than observing and letting it pass.

basically i just wanted to share that, because i got this giddy and relieving feeling because i know exactly what i need to do. it's not even something i "need to do", it's not a process, it's just a simple look at anything that makes me feel not free or like i'm desiring and thinking "not me, just ego." and moving on! i already feel less stressed because i'm not trying to achieve desires, i don't feel desire, ego does, but i'm not her so i don't have to fix it or remove the desire, i just let it pass on. i feel so relaxed now and just empty (in a good way. i'm emptied of hopelessness, desire, confusion) the "click" ego wanted so bad is basically this. and its so SIMPLE. i know that the habit of identifying is still kinda there for me though, but understanding the simplicity of this now and not feeling the need to search for "what to do" is gonna make it so easy to break the habit once and for all. thank you so much for your posts lain sincerely. i might delete tumblr to avoid the ego's habit of mindlessly opening the app and scrolling for hours cuz she thinks she needs to find the secret krabby patty formula to realizing self but at the same time your page brings such a comforting and safe feeling that i love 💙💙💙

i'm so glad you understand! it's good that you finally practised, you can read everything and get nowhere if you don't take the leap ♡

keep going!

[n3-x-us]

Hi i'm going on a huge rant I know I should do it on the tsams confession thing but I'd rather do it on my own blog

Absolutely no hate to the creators by the way, this is just stuff that ticks me off :3

Completely fine if you like the stuff I stated!

VA's if you somehow see this uhhhh please ignore this entire post

I want to rewrite ruin's character as a whole so hes just canonical eclipse

Sadly no jigsaw but at least it isn't whats happening on tsams

God i want to go on a huge rant about how much i despise whats happening with the lore to get it off my chest but i just know that some people will take ir the wrong way and assume I want it to change and I hate tsams as a whole

I don't hate it as a whole but i dp kind of wish to say this

It kind of feels like that after the ruin dlc released that what the creators had planned was changed from it- for one their reaction to canonical eclipse, which was them saying 'no' over him being nice- and the fact that ruin i think was originally supposed to be canon eclipse with how he acted after being 'cured'

Does it feel like they hate canon eclipse or at least dislike him? Yes, yes it does

Does it feel like the lore is rushed a bit now? Honetsly kinda

Is the excessive amount of angst overwhelming? For me at least, it is (hence why i've stopped watching and moved to laes)

Also it would be so refreshing if it didn't seem like this was the whoke "all eclipses are bad but solar" because i know thats not true

A character does not need to have a bad backstory to be rude or nice or whateverz but it feels like that way in tsams which ticks me off so much FOR INSTANCE, BASICALLY THE ENTIRE FAMILY

They could've turned out rude but didn't because THEY CHOSE NOT TO

I think i rememver ruin saying that solar was a rare eclipse but idk if thats bc hes nice or bc of the change but if its bc hes nice im gonna scream

Uhm uhm what else uuhhhhdhdhdhhe

Oh yeah the fact that ruin straight up doesn't give a shit about his actions it pisses me off

He watched his friends suffer for ages, and you'd think hed have some remorse because he wouldm't want that to happen to anyone else, but nope! Bro he seemingly didn't evej care when all the family was greiving

YOU'D THINK AFTER THE TIME HE'D SPEND WITH THEM HE'D CARE ECEN THE SLIGJTEST

SURE THEY'RE FROM DIFFERENT AUS BUT HE WAS AROUND THEM LONG ENOUGH TO AT LEAST CARE ABOUT WHAT HIS ACTIONS WOULD CAUSE

Dude i really do hope the VA's don't find this i feel bad enough making this post but i gotta let off some steam 😭 if they see it i'll just feel worse than before

[kame-writes]

Concerning the media overlords au:

First of all: I love it! Thank you for sharing the idea with us <33

Second: Does Alastor live in the tower with the other Vees? And does Alastor still move into the hotel? If yes, on a scale of one to absolutely how sad/pissed/jealous is Vox after receiving this info?

3. I'd like to imagine Velvette's fingers are constantly itching to get ahold of that handsome deer man, who doesn't know how to dress himself properly or trendy, and give his wardrobe an upgrade. Could you imagine this happening? (Maybe with lots of alcohol involved. So that he would at least temporarily let her experiment with his clothes. Bonus points if she is able to take picture too. Vox would obviously make himself some copies for.. private reasons...) Do you see my vision?? Can you see it??

4. Can Vox convince Alastor to do more audio features within their network? Like podcasts or interviews and the like? Or are they just screams as well? (I recently discovered a podcast about cooking, where each week they talk about one ingredient and explain a recipe with it. I think this would fit Alastor's preferences very well.. tho the ingredients might not be as commonly used now that I think about it... anyhow... now I can't stop thinking about Hannibal and Alastor hosting a food podcast.. oops.. sorry, but not really)

5. You mentioned that Husk still works in his casino, if he isn't needed. Do you have any headcanons for Niffty's whereabouts?

Anyway that's all for now! Have a lovely day/night! <33

p.s. Sorry if this ask is intrusive. For some questions it's pretty clear that I've already imagined something for myself that may or may not fit with your vision of this au. If you feel like I overstepped, feel free to ignore this or send me an alastor_fuck_u. gif :D

Im am very happy to have questions asked! You have no idea how many ideas i have and dont know what to do with xD

I'd love to see other peoples headcanons and ideas for this universe, if anyone does anything for it then please tag me so i can see ^^

This is gonna get long so I've put it under a read more

2: No one is really sure if he lives there or just works there. He HAS his own suite in the tower, but he's not always there when they go look for him, and not being able to find him is very a common occurrence, made more frustrating because he refuses to carry or awnser the mobile phone they forced on him. He hangs around in the common areas like the kitchen and living room sometimes. And if they do manage to rope him into something like a movie night its a huge hassle, because he will insist on a black and white or silent film if he HAS to engage with the tv, and Vel and Val hate those.

The whole top of the Tower is dominated by his large Radio tower though, its slightly seperated from the rest of the building, suspended above it with a staircase/ladder to enter the hatch. Valentino is usually not brave enough to check there for Alastor.

Its the same with the hotel. He does move into his own room there, but goes back and forth a lot, and doesnt have a schedule. Vox tires to pretend hes fine with it at first but often ends up the hotel to be a pain in the ass to Charlie, and getting kicked out by the staff of Alastor. Hes convinced himself that Alastor will lose interest sooner rather than later, and the others just tune out his whining at this point. No one buys it when he claims he didnt even notice Alastor was gone as soon as the Radio Demon gets back to the tower.

3: I may be planning to draw this haha He does let her dress him up ocassionally, he has a few differant suits he's approved of and kept, but does wear his original the most the time. Velvette has a line of 'Vintage chic' clothing that partly started as a way to get Alastor to agree to changing his 'ratty ass old man style' by appealing to clothes that were updated takes on his era. He still very rarely leaves the tower in anything but his own usual attire.

He does on rare occasions allow photos to be taken of him by the vees (and once, later on by charlie, under strict instructions that she keeps it to herself) but no video. And none under any circumstances are allowed on social media. He has blown up a few phones that have attempted, both the Vees and employees.

4: Alastor has agreed to be on a podcast a few times, but its rare, and only if its somehting hes really interested in talking about. It's one of the few modern things he approves of since its just a version of a radio talk show. Same with interviews, he keeps them even more extremly rare, and the mystery of the radio Demon keeps sinners in fear more than him being in the public. Vox always wants him to do more since the ratings sky rocket when Alastor features.

When Alastor has done an interview it is with his back to the camera, and sitting in a large wingbacked stupidly over the top ornate chair, that hides him from being seen, except maybe the top tuffs of his ears and antlers. And he doesnt reveal much about himself when he does. The chair is partly to hide him, and partly to stop the equitment form glitching too much. He likes to pulls faces and makes gestures deliberatly made to make Vox falter and look stupid on camera, since hes the only one who can see him in that chair.

He has teased on his own radio show that one 'lucky' sinner may get the chance to be on both a guest star on his radio broadcast AND a livestream if the mood takes. Valentino had to inform him that what he's referring to is called a snuff film

5: Niffty gets moved to the hotel pretty much full time once Alastor gets involved, Husk is a part time employee, but ends up spending less time at his casino as time goes on.

Valentino is happy Niffty is gone because she creeps him out, she ocassionally hung around his studio during work hours, especially if theyre doing a scene with 'bad boys'. Vox isn't bothered. Velvette is not happy, especially that Niffty is reduced to a maid/janitor for the hotel, and makes that very known to Alastor. Velvette loves Niffty, they are chaos sisters and work on very sketchy sounding potions together, and gang up against the boys.

Niffty is also a great seamstress herself and brings her designs to Velvette like an excited child showing off their latest art project. Almost none of these get used, but Vel has fun forcing models to parade around the studio and work in something Nifftys made, they often include bugs and bodyparts, Velvette finds this halarious.

[coridallasmultipass]

brocal for the ship bingo?

The OTP to end all other OTPs... (Man. This wound up being basically Cori's Masterpost of BroCal. AKA... this got long and has some images, since I realized I can post my own art directly instead of just a text link to it lol.)

Wasn't actually expecting this to wind up with a bingo? But I got basically 2?? (Will explain the lighter heart later.) This is A LONG post, and definitely gonna get SUGGESTIVE, bc man, am I obSESSED with BroCal. I'm just gonna go thru each checked box, since I don't know how else to structure this post lol.

Read More to save ppl's dashboards:

I want them to make out with blood: OKAY. I HAVE A WHOLE THING PLANNED FOR THIS CONCEPT. I AM NOT GOING TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT IT JUST YET BC I ACTUALLY WANNA WRITE IT. I'm obsessed with this one fanart of Bro licking Lil Cal, and it spurred on an idea I outlined and really wanna write: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/739969858334294016/hiiii-mutual-i-am-secrecy-asking-if-u-have-anymore

((Sorry for the plain text links, Tumblr app is NOT cooperating with me right now to add hyperlinks. I'd post the image directly if that one was mine.))

Basically, I just really need to see Bro and Cal making out with blood in their mouths, and I started a whole convoluted, unrelated outline in order to make that hapen. It'll probably just be a really short thing that ends at the uh climax, since otherwise it's gonna end up sadstuck. And I don't like sadstuck lol.

Undeniably t4t: Bro and Dirk are always trans for me, and Lil Cal's got that uh... what percentage did I calculate it out to be? 13% of Dirk is in Lil Cal [ My shitpost calculations: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/746702663327072256/i-ran-out-of-tags-rambling-about-this-so-im-just ] so Lil Cal is at least 13% trans because of that much of Dirk being in him, plus however you feel about the other components being trans. LMAO this is ridiculous to type out. Moving on.

EDIT: FUTURE CORI INTERJECTING WITH A:

"Lil Cal Top Surgery Healing Progess: Day 1"

Terrible for each other affectionate/derogatory: I don't even know where the affectionate/derogatory split occurs. I multiship BroCal as both Bro/normal puppet Lil Cal and as Bro/evil juju puppet Lil Cal, and whatever combination in between or outside of that. Terrible in that Bro is so obsessed with Cal that he doesn't have normal relationship/social skills and uses Lil Cal as both a crutch and motivator alternately, in a terrible cycle, or maybe rather... spiral. And also terrible in that Bro is caught in the allure of playing the role of puppeteer while also being a puppet for the darker parts of Lil Cal, whether he actively knows it or not. (Honestly though, I feel like it's dismissive if you try to blame all of Bro's faults on Lil Cal like this tho, which is why I tend towards liking Lil Cal as just a regular puppet a lil bit more. Or at least, a regular mildly supernatural puppet since that can be a little more entertaining if Cal can get into mischief while no one's looking or give off the vibes of his mood more directly, rather than like entirely inanimate or 'just LE, trapped in a puppet body.' Again, I like all of these concepts.) ((I mean that can also be a whole post of its own, like, by the time Bro gets ahold of Lil Cal, are any of the other components still alive in there? Like, are ARquius and Gamzee still in there or did Caliborn kill and consume them entirely? Idk how it works, man. This is why I like Lil Cal as his own person, maybe just influenced by the feelings of the others. LaCroix: CalGamARquius essenced water. Lil Croix.))

They need to get weirder with it: YES YES. 1000% YES. I need entirely shameless Bro doing entirely shamless things to Lil Cal. I want them inseparable and doing unspeakable things to each other. I want Bro taking full advantage of Cal having a puppet body and all the intimacy that comes with making repairs and being elbow-deep in stuffing.

Playing with them like dolls cute/psychological torture: This is the same divide as with the 'terrible for each other' point, so I'm just gonna go with the cute one, since the torture one is self-explanatory. I want them fucking married. Like. Full mushy cute romance type of relationship that Bro has never felt for any of the people in his life (cough aromantic cough). I made this comic not too long ago, and I often fondly look back on it, because I adore the concept of Bro being lovey and romantic and everything out of character around Lil Cal because he feels safe and loved and comfortable around Cal:

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/750602227910131712/brocal-4-lyfe-so-i-had-this-idea-of-dave-being ]

I made a post a long, long time ago (not gonna link that one bc it was personal and I was being very obviously mentally ill ["C'mon, like you're not being obviously mentally ill while typing paragraph upon paragraph about BroCal still in 2024 like 10 years later??" Fair.]) But the gist of it was that, like, having objectophilia or objectum sexuality is like, from an outsider pov, it's a way to express love to yourself. You filter all your self-hate through the object you love, and you get back unconditional love in return.

Lil Cal is never gonna hate Bro, no matter what Bro does. As a regular puppet, Lil Cal doesn't have the capacity for hate. And so that only brings them closer, since Cal is never gonna reject Bro for any reason. (Back to being a crutch. RSD is real, and Dave is probably a big trigger for that since he's not on the same wavelength of weird as Bro [not blaming Dave, obviously, this is a post about BroCal].) Bro can experience receiving positive attention from Lil Cal, without feeling 'fake' or uncool by expressing that same attention or affection directly to his own self. (Things are always done through multiple layers with the Striders, aren't they?) ((And I'm not saying Lil Cal doesn't love Bro, or that their relationship is just pretend - it's real, I'm just like, 'What's going on behind the curtain in the mundane situation?/ How is the relationship appealing?' Lil Cal luvs Bro 5eva 4 lyfe and that's a hard fact. Could cut diamonds with that shit.)) Example: maybe Bro is dealing with a bout of body/gender dysphoria and is trying to take out his frustration with working out, and it's not helping, even if he's powered through a set better than normal. Then, he notices the way Lil Cal is watching him, and he can feel the excitement seeping off Cal. He can sense the echoes of a wolf-whistle ring out through his mind, and it's like. Okay, none of that shit from before matters, he's got all the validation he needs right there in Lil Cal. Maybe flex in Cal's direction, Bro?

Oh, so back to being cute: isn't it wonderful how the template maker phrased it as 'playing dolls'? But yeah, I want all the mush and everything. Bro has a whole wardrobe for Lil Cal for every minor event that occurs in the Strider household. I want them going on genuine dates. Maybe even... holding hands. Bro blushes for the first time since he was 16. He even gets to take Lil Cal with him when he goes out to DJ or put on a show. Not to mention the whole website business. (I've talked about Cal's role in that before, but I'll mention it in a moment...)

They will die in a heart shaped pool of blood: I mean, kinda did happen, even tho Lil Cal didn't perma die right there. I don't think this one needs any explanation, since it basically happens in canon.

'You should see the other guy...': Okay, so. About 11 years ago, I had a really great idea. About how smuppets enter this world. I expanded on it in the following more-recent post (adult only content lol): https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741683686717669376/back-in-the-day-my-friends-called-me-insane-when-i

To sum it up, whenever Bro makes a new smuppet design, he then gives it a video debut on his website, where uh, Lil Cal births the smuppet like it's a horror movie scene, fake blood and poly-fil gore all over the place as the smuppet crawls out from the viscera. Bro then gets to play aftercare by lovingly and gently cleaning up and restuffing Lil Cal as they get to admire their new creation and rake in the dough lol.

So it's technically not a 'you should see the other guy' kinda situation, but it does involve one of them being... idk what word would describe it. Injured by the other? Usually a character loses a fight and says this to act like they got out of it better than the other guy, but... We could have someone knock on the door during the filming of a scene like that, and Bro has to answer it with fake blood up to his elbows, and be like 'You should see the other guy.' (But obviously, that's a terrible idea and would cause more trouble than it's worth... Maybe worth it for a persistent door to door salesperson, though.)

Though, I guess I should also say, I'm not opposed to Bro beating on Lil Cal in or out of the bedroom. Or in the case of animate Lil Cal, Cal choking out Bro. In or out of the bedroom, lol. Depends on the situation, like I said I will ship this ship any which way. But my preference for animate Lil Cal is to be like a totally normal puppet around Bro (or mushy in-love with Bro) and then evil-murder-puppet towards anyone else in Bro's life, like a... toxic yaoi guard puppet. (New Phrase Achievement Unlocked!) Bro brings home another guy to have sex, who tries to stay the night due to the late hour, but the guy wakes up shortly after to see Lil Cal standing there with a knife in the dark, eyes glowing red. Panic ensues when the guest screams and freaks out, and by the time Bro's got a light on, grabbing his sword, ready for a ninja vs ninja fight (bc an intruder would've had to bypass all the traps), Lil Cal is just innocently splayed across the desk chair, no knife in sight. Relevant post (well, the caption on the post too, saying how Bro can't seem to hold onto any relationships besides Lil Cal):

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741830516962164736/i-want-you-so-youre-mine-always-selfishly ]

Uh, lol, also Cal choking out Bro in the bedroom, adult only drawing: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/754328907438800896/i-wouldnt-wanna-be-my-ex-when-he-found-out-who

Thinking about them always and forever: Listen. My Tumblr as proof, I've had BroCal on the brain for at least 11 years at this point. Definitely longer, since I first started reading Homestuck. I fucking love puppets and dolls and plushies and I always have. Man, if I hadn't deleted Tweets (automated app I used to do, and I couldn't choose what to save) from when I was in high school, you could've seen me @ ing my fave band when they were taking lyric suggestions on a fan-inspired album, where I was telling them 'make a song where the theme is puppets' and, while I don't know if they saw that or took the suggestion (they had responded to me before bc they weren't huge yet), there is indeed a song titled "Puppets" on that album, and it was my favourite song on there. Point is, I was fated to ship BroCal before I even knew it existed.

Sicko 2 sicko communication: I mean, does this even need explaining? Bro and Cal aren't just on the same wavelength of freaky, they're the fucking source of the wavelength, and it's causing a feedback loop between them. And it does as feedback does, which is, it amplifies with time. (Going back to the spiral symbolism here, lol.) ((Actually, time can play a symbol here, too, I guess, but idk how to word it, I'm starting to run out of steam.))

Let them have a happy ending: God, I need this so badly. I know Bro's story ends in Homestuck, but like. Pls. Someone needs to officiate their wedding. Currently placing the dreambubble order, but I can't organize a wedding by myself. OH speaking of. In that lil comic I did above, where Bro is accepting Lil Cal's proposal, I had the Natural Born Killers wedding scene in mind. I was gonna draw that as a follow up, but I think I have too many WIPs going. Just two people on the run, saying "I do" in a scenic but completely ordinary roadside location. Idk why, I keep going back to that movie for things related to Bro (I mention it in a very important scene in a longer WIP I've been writing, as something Bro watched and internalized as a kid lol.) It's not the best movie lol. Anyway.

The devotion omg: I feel like I have already gotten my point across about this, but let me reiterate:

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/735842968450269184/in-the-name-of-iconic-magical-girl-anime-ill ]

Bro and Lil Cal absolutely beat the shit outta Jack Noir before he gets prototyped. And even then, they fight together till the death, like. C'mon. Nothing more romantic than fighting a losing battle side by side. Also, like, Lil Cal having his own protective chest for safekeeping as seen in the Strider living room? Like, you don't just have a protective case for any old thing, especially something meant to be handled, especially something that is regularly used to smack other things/humans. What I'm saying is, Lil Cal is durable and resilient, and yet, Bro still has a case for transporting Cal safely. Oh, wait, I just thought of something funny, what if Lil Cal goes feral like a cat, and basically the chest is like a cat carrier so Bro can drive without being constricted lmaoooo, I've been typing for hours can you tell?

Kind of homophobic: Listen. I HAD a Cal. Took him to college. Staked my claim on the top bunk bc I am royalty. Proceeded to not have anywhere to set my water cup and had to use a cardboard box as a table up there. Spilled water. Melted Cal's sharpie-drawn face. And then proceeded to cry. I have a WIP of Lil Cal 2, but that requires actually remembering to work on him. I wanna do better by the pattern, too, since I rushed to finish the first. I have all the material! I have the project started! So it's just a matter of reordering my WIP priorities, honestly.

Where is all the fucking content?!: For realzz. I was actually venting about this the other day (didn't end up posting it), but it's like, either there's no BroCal content, or there IS BroCal content, but I can't reblog it for reasons I don't want to get into on this post. I'm dying of thirst in the ocean, basically. Whatever. This just means I need to make more BroCal content myself, which I am more than happy to do. I've just had a rough past few months, so I'm glad I got to type all this post out, and hopefully I can get back to creating soon.

Last one! I hope this one makes up for the absurd length of the post, it's prob my new fave idea I just came up with on the spot.

[TW drink spiking by a stranger mentioned in this.]

Committing atrocities as their silly little activities: I think we all know what this means, but I am going to ignore that elephant with my special x-ray vision. Because this is a BroCal post. I'm digging deep to the meat and bones of this. Honestly, this could go multiple routes, it depends on how you take your Lil Cal.

One could place emphasis on the 'guard' part of the, ahem ahem, toxic yaoi guard puppet. Maybe someone is actually trying to harm Bro, and Bro legit can't do anything for reasons outside of his control - let's say his drink got spiked a while after he invited a stranger home that he thought was chill. As Bro gets shoved down on the futon, his memory of the night is only a few flickers. Familiar orange plush, roiling around above him like a dancing windsock. Flashes of Lil Cal's face all distorted and stretched wide like a funhouse. J-Lo and Ice Cube on the TV. But when Bro is finally able to fully wake up in the morning, everything is as if he just got home alone last night and passed out on the futon. Cal looks totally normal and content tucked under Bro's warm arm. Except when Bro gets up, there is a pair of shoes too big to belong to him at the door. Maybe Bro knows. Maybe instinct tells him to run. Maybe he does, but he's running towards Lil Cal, every time.