#but im not a coward so here we are
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WHEEEEEE
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#i drew this insteabd of payong attention to class. Sorry.#And am posting it while i wait for the bus. I ha e sleey disease#SLEEPY.#emu otori from um . fortntie#Rhebusihesjehr THE BUS IS HERE BYYE#edit ok im back waiting for my transfer BROTHER. THE ANNIVIERYUAEYH it got me so fucked up prsk you crazy son of a gun#I THINK THE NEW OUTFITS ARE RLLY CUTE MIKU SOOOO KITTY#im almost done with all of my commsni dont think i will open them again this semester. or next. summer. Im sho tired#my assignments r fun but theyre like big. Theyrbe large#my prof said he was gonna make us make fur/sonas for an assignment hut didnt want to get fired. dont be a coward#proseka autism is killinng me i cant lie WHY IS DARKNESS FESTA TIERING SO FUCKING CRAZY#IVE NEVER EVER SEEN THE 10K CUTOFF REACH A MILLION POINTS ON EN. USUALLY WE SLACK SO HARD. COME ON#im so sleepy and have things to do please sotp it AND CURTAINCALL IM GONNA BE SICK I CANT TRHJNK ABOUT IT
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A little different than last year's, but here we are again. To say that this past year hasn't been absolutely wild would be a lie, cause HOLY SHIT MAN
This year's birthday is. A little different for me, but you already have the silly comic to show that so I won't make like a broken record oops
But, despite the changes and hills that life's decided I should climb or throw at, it hasn't changed the fact that I'm so genuinely fucking thankful to the people that I've known since joining this fandom. I'm not even kidding when I say that being here has actually changed my life for the better. I know I said something similar last year, but this time, hoo boy it sure turned up the AMP and test how far I could go.
So, to everyone, both new and old; thank you for being here :D
@garbagechocolate @darkxsoulzyx @smoljeanius @bunmuffin @skizabaa
@tuzesdays @sleepykas @fernzwing @kandidandi @starsketchez
@just-a-drawing-bean @notdysfunk @ilsole @amberluvsbugs @cloudyvoid
@nomsthecat @alfinefalf @nosleepygay @theblog-with-thestuff
@cacaocheri
(Edit: ty kibbits for informing me of the. Fuck ass tagging system)
AND TAGGING OTHERS BECAUSE. POINTS. BONKS WITH HEAD. GETTING TO EITHER INTERACT OR TALK OR WHATEVER IS ALWAYS A DELIGHT
@ohno-the-sun @kibbits @ink-yy @saltyfryz @kaprisvn
@hierba-picante @sunny-sophies-garden @cookiiemancer @sneeblbop @justaduckarts
@pepethehumanz @crystalmagpie447 @woolysstuff @mocha-illustrates @duhsty1
@sanchensky @pillowspace @victarin @witherfide
[I DEFINITELY GOT SONAS WRONG AND THESE AREN'T ALL THE SILLY PEOPLE I KNOW BUT IM SITTING HERE AT 2:30 IN THE MORNING JUST KNOW YOU'RE THERE IN SPIRIT HANDING YOU ALL POPTARTS WAUGH]
#nebula art and doodles#should. i even count it as that-#nebula birthday time#fuck it birthday tag go brrr#also if i. didnt tag you it is 100% because i'm. a fucking coward <33 and am not sure if you'd like to be tagged in a silly thing like this#(or i don't. know you. that also but shaky thumbs up)#god. this year has been. insane dawg#my goofy ass going through canon events like it's a buffet /silly#jokes aside#the fact that im still like. here. right here#posting or reblogging goofy shit#still in the process of making my fic (i prommy im working on it)#and just. managing to make friends with people despite shit happening#it's so wild to me#i know for some people i've tagged we either haven't talked that much or haven't talked in awhile#and to that i say#fuck it we ball /j#but seriously it's. honestly bc getting to interact with you guys at all makes or has made my day that much brighter#even if it's been awhile like i mentioned or for whatever reason#this is. getting long as hell and i need to go to bed oops#anywhooooo#gotta go fast or some shit#OH- and thank you all so much for. almost 3k. holy shit#where the fuck did you all COME FROM HOW DID WE GET HERE#big heart emojis and sending love to you all#thank you so much
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guy who probably needs a bath, tbh
#i was gonna draw something that wasnt just the same portrait for the seven hundredth time but im a coward and also lazy#so here we are#bun is doing the most to convince me to make him a lala and let me tell u i am this close#but i would also regret it so much lmao#SO CLOSE#vindraws#xiv blogging#ch: ilya
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If you see Reimari as Squidbob, im revoking your rights to Reimu and Marisa's characterization i think
#Ive said this on twt too but i feel like my void screaming will be heard more here#i really thought we were past seeing Reimu as squidward grouchy. we were doing so well#anyways if your reimari is squidbob i beg you to read at least a few of ZUNs printwork#ive said this in a previous post but i know it isnt bad to see characters the way you see fit#but saying it as fact whe its not really gets to people who know that they Arent Like That yknow#corr.txt#reimu hakurei#marisa kirisame#delete later#...if im a coward
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so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.
#she said this RIGHT after talking about how bad yt misinfo is... which she followed up w SO I WAS WATCHING A YT DOC ABOUT WW2 & LEARNED THIS#youtube 'historians' are literally the most fascist breed of youtuber. avoid the vast majority like the plague lmao#i asked if the video was sourcing the hollow dahmer & the black book of communism & she didnt seem to know what those are lol#to her credit i told her straight up that she was incorrect & she at least faked being curious about doing more research but i am doubting#she also 'learned' that lenin killed trotsky lol get your propaganda right lenin was dead by then STALIN icepicked him <3#anyway im making jokes bc the worst part was a different conversation where she spoke positively of israel#THAT'S gonna be the one to ruin our friendship. fuck you & your war tourist friend who fought in the 1960s landgrabs that youre now#telling me as if this is a cute story. nahhhh lmao i looked her straight in the eye & said i will NOT debate this#so she dropped it like the true enlightened centrist most socdem cowards are and i kept cleaning her house quietly#turns out You & Me We're the Only Ones Around Here Who Aren't Complete Fools was premature *kicks the poorly rendered gravel sadly*#shes otherwise a nice lady & i know i need to be more flexible in order to hopefully change ppls minds...#but also when people say awful & untrue things it makes me not want to talk to you 🤷♂️ srry 2 b a freak like that#also i know shes not transphobic but i havent sniffed her out well enough to know if shes safe to come out to#so its hours of misgendering (which isnt her fault she doesnt know) bc shes obsessed with neoliberal feminism and inappropriately brings#gender into conversations that it does not belong in#'did you know all the countries that handled covid best were ran by women?' 1) untrue 2) dont care finland still sucks#she also tried to tell me that european rich people learned to be nicer after the french rev & thats why europe is better than america...#girl shut up we learned how to be so good at racism and capitalism BECAUSE of europe. there is no such thing as a good rich person!!!#i pick my battles (genocide & anticommunist genocide revisionism) so i let her cook w that one & was not left convinced as you can imagine#ANYWAY rant about today's weird day done. gonna smoke weed & rim some skies 🥵 while listening to the Khrushchev Lied audiobook i found 😘
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piggybacking off this post about intense ships, i just realized we really never got to see klaus in a long-standing romantic ship, and therefore didn't get to see how the passage of time would change their dynamic / klaus' disposition. the first one we're shown is tatia, sort of. elijah says "none loved her more than niklaus", but we don't really see much of them and she ended up choosing elijah over klaus, cutting any relationship between them short and breaking his heart. then comes aurora, but again, it's cut short when she brutally breaks up with him ( the truth of that is of course revealed eventually, but numerous centuries too late ), breaking his heart again and majorly impacting his self worth. then we're shown his interest in caroline and their game of will they won't they ( which i've explained doesn't make much sense to me here ), but a sustained romantic relationship never comes from it.
ㅤㅤhis romantic involvement with hayley was really as simple a one night stand, but tbh, i preferred that for the two of them and really ended up loving what their dynamic grew into. genevieve is hardly worth mentioning here, as while they of course had a physical relationship, i saw klaus' thing with her to be strictly strategic rather than having true romantic interest in her. now comes the crème de la crème of a romantic relationship perhaps making klaus a bit better: cami. but unfortunately, not only did it start slowly ( def not inherently a bad thing, but they had so little time together in total it was quite detrimental here ), but once again, it was cut short before it could truly flourish. cami becoming a vampire basically halted the growth of their relationship ( understandably so ), and while they ended up taking great strides to repair and further their bond, it was literally during cami's last days and then she died - and that was that. she was his last romantic relationship before he died, and the closest thing to a healthy, sustained ship he was shown to have; and considering healthy wouldn't really be a great way to describe their rocky, power imbalanced relationship, that's saying a lot.
ㅤㅤso once again, i'm going to take liberties with something that wasn't shown in canon. in my mind, i like to think that upon actually officially taking someone on as his s/o, the beginning of their relationship would have that intensity his canon ones are shown to have. he would likely start out as highly possessive, easily jealous, his affections and passion turned up to 100 ( bc he knows no other way to be tbh ), and he would just overall be a lot. but as time passed and his s/o remained both alive and with him rather than choosing someone else, i believe he would mellow out quite a bit. not really in the passion department, because he has exceptionally strong emotions in general, but definitely when it comes to his more negative expectations. he would start to relax, be more confident in the relationship ( namely that they aren't going to leave him / choose another over him ) and probably soften quite a bit. his toxic behaviors are of course highly unlikely to ever fully disappear, but i do think he'd become comfortable being more gentle and vulnerable with his s/o. he would also eternally be touchy about them potentially dying, especially given his own unique level of immortality, so he'd probably never get less overbearing when it comes to them being in danger and doing what he can to prevent that very thing. but i definitely think he would soften in other areas, perhaps even becoming almost sweet, and more outright romantic.
#me considering the tatia situation is perhaps where his insecurity toward elijah truly began 🤔#this ended up longer than i expected so a read more was needed dfjkas#k.lefan isnt referenced here bc of course the writers were too big of cowards to give us that in canon >:(#if im forgetting one of his ships well .. my b dsfaj we all know canon isnt my strong suit#ooc.#headcanon.
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tictacs are like pez for grownups
#well pez are pez for grownups if youre not a coward#but if you are one. tictacs time#eating some rn so im right#i know my food opinions have been controversial on here in the past (nature's sprite)#but i hope we can be civil about this. ahem#m
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Hey so uh.
I dont think voting is the only solution. Nor will it necessarily get us what we want immediately. And i think protest is more important and more effective.
However.
Conservatives. Would. Not. Be. Trying. To. Make. Voting. Impossible. And. Taking away. Actual voting places from marginalized areas. .
If it meant ABSOLUTELY nothing.
Hope that helps.
✌️
#if it makes me a lib to just even ACKNOWLEDGE that fact. then i think ur probably an entirely irrational person.#very. very sorry for wanting to do everything i can. very sorry.#its almost like... you can protest...... and also.... vote.........#its almost like voting in of itself at this point is kinda a protest since theres places w voting booths being removed or people who have#to drive miles just to vote. like. i kinda think it means somethin here pal.#like. republicans dont want us to vote. it benefits them when we dont. it also benefits them when you're riddled with nihilistic apathy.#u probably feel so defeated that u probably dont even think debate matters or means anything at all#whatever. im bored of you and your personality.#its this type of nihilistic thinking that leads to accelerationism. you think fuck it. lets just let the republicans win. show the world#how bad they are. thinking that will make people finally stand up. but the problem is people are cowards. and they wont. and i dont think#its worth taking the chance on and rolling the dice on when the outcome of letting republicans win is very likely to be genocide.#and i really really dont think being smug and all 'i told you so' to libs is worth it enough for vast amounts of people. people you#probably care about. being killed in swathes. i really really dont think letting things get Worse on Purpose is a great idea#and it honestly makes you look like an evangelical republican who thinkis climate change is a smite from god.#bc functionally you're doing the fucking same thing. instead though you're pretending its a smite from you.#i kinda firmly believe that accelerationism is a intellectual bystanders excuse for not doing shit. like genuinely just sitting there#watching ppl suffer to prove a point. gtfoh
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cw post / tags. sorry
i don't even know if i have the words
to express this
she's gone
and its all my fault
#~ . 🥀#half my brain wants to scream to cry to do something#the other half wants to lie here forever and wait til i go numb#im in such a state of shock rn i .m gonna throw up#for context#2 hours ago as of writing this i received news that a loved one committed suicide#i was one of the only people that knew she was severely depressed / suicidal i shouldve seen the signs#i shouldve helped her more or called her or told someone#i was a coward. i couldn't.#and because i willingly did nothing to stop someone from dying#i am compliant. therefore . its my fault shes dead#.#this isnt some story where you can rewrite the ending#this is real life#and now i watched someone i love die and will have to live with the guilt of knowing i couldve done something but chose not to#the worst type of person.#i didnt deserve to be friends with someone like her.#no one did. she was smart and witty and oh so stubborn (affectionate)#we both loved the same bands. i don't know if i can ever listen to those bands the same way again#god i cant think#im actually gonna throw up#this is the 2nd time in my life something like this has happened. 3rd if you count all COD not just suicide#knowing something is wrong with a loved one but being too much of a wuss to tell anyone or help them or do anything useful#god im fucking worthless#my friends and family will vent to me and share their problems with me and ill say i care and tell myself i care#but givenmy behavior i don't think i can ever say i can#idoly standing by while people i love suffer#fuckin pathetic#this was a deliberate choice i made. this is all my fault#this is all my fault
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i've been real busy with work and today was Especially Busy i barely got to listen to the episode before an important work thing i had going on but i will say. the lovesongs are lovesonging in my head thats the only thing ive taken from this episode (<- delusional)
#dndads spoilers#dndads#kasey rambles#let me explain my delusions here in the tags#last episode we had sparrow and nicky at each others throats with sparrow even threatening to break his own non violence pact#this episode we have taylor and normal now locked up to fight each other#sparrow doesn't want anyone to die (and definitely not any of the teens! not just his own) and nicky definitely doesn't want to lose taylor#and this ep focused so hard on the nicky betrayal that i really do think it COULDVE affected the twins too if anthony weren't a coward#specifically sparrow. ESPECIALLY sparrow. you really think the LOVEWOLF was happy about using violence to scare a friend?#and sparrow's starting to break away from his same man twice deal with lark. there is NO WAY he doesn't feel guilty as hell#coupled with the teens being in a death match. i have been thinking about#about#about sparrow volunteering himself and nicky to fight in taylor and normal's stead#as a proxy for them. yknow#and nicky agrees because he doesn't want to risk taylor's life. and because he's angry at sparrow#but he doesn't realize sparrow's acting out of a sense of misplaced guilt. that he WANTS to die for his mistakes.#anyways. im soooo so normal
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cr discourse (ish?) in the tags cause im sick and i need something to complain about that doesnt actually affect anything important in real life 💖
#im sure people have said this before but since im new here and i love complaining im gonna say it...#liam implying shadowgast break up bc essek might outlive caleb meanwhile vex and percy are married#with 5 kids and neither of them are TIME WIZARDS#like girl look into my eyes. be SERIOUS rn.#i recognise the council has made a decision etc etc#coward behavior no joke. shoving them in my purse and leaving as fast as i can#DO NOT FIGHT ME ON THIS i will forever be against that idea its dumb and i hate it <3#besides theyre both unhinged we dont even know if they WILL live long enough OR if essek will outlive caleb like#theyve both got the m9 genes going in their veins anything could happen- but this is a whole different conversation#maybe shipping HAS rotten my brain what of it#i want my TIME AND SPACE POWERS wizards to be happy and together and gay and have as many cats and cupcakes as they want??? is that so hard
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#look this was probably the most experimental post i've ever done considering i had to make the newspaper article from scratch#and to be entirely honest i uuuh im not happy with it lmao#i should've done an obituary instead of the article but too late ! i have no energy to start again#but whatever .the point is that the article is supposed to allude to alex's death okay so yes obituary would've worked better but too bad#idk i think i just had a massive brain blegh halfway through which sucks because i was thinking about this post all day#but the idea behind the whole concept and the QUOTE in the first place and the stupid article concept#was the idea that nigel wasn't the only one to kill himself at the end of the film#alex did too . just not in the literal sense#alex kills the old version of himself . kills the who he used to be#this did not do that quote or the intention behind the post justice but i'm just gonna dump it here and go#also deep in tags is the best place for me to put the random shit i'm thinking of and i've had the trainyard scene on my mind lately#but i left my thoughts to simmer too long and now it's been reduced into thickness 😞 but anyway#greg may have been too much of a coward to give them the maraclea ending they deserved#but he will never be able to take away the fact that the trainyard scene will always be their version of the myth TO ME and me only probs#okay because that story is supposed to parallel the typical conventions of marriage - the consumation when he lays with the body#and then 9 months later the skull symbolises a birth resulting from their union#that moment at the railway ? where nigel shoots himself with the very gun alex is holding?#that's their consumation babes; their union; their wedding#'pray for me pray for yourself we're one now' may as well be their vows#and what do we get as a result of that union 9 months later? we get jack#jack is the product of these 2 people becoming 1 and just like the skull granted great power to the lord#so too does jack grant power to alex; the power to take control of his life and forge his own path forward#me making this post 🤝 cats : oooooo big stretch#seriously#lowkey glad no one will see this in the tag search lmao#like minds
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this guy harassed me for years to meet but i thought his profile was fake & then we eventually did & he led me on for months before ghosting me, so in retribution i’ve been hitting him up constantly on scruff & grindr & today he’s finally blocked me …. BUT I STILL GOT HIS NUMBER 😭😭 BUZZ BUZZ BITCH 😭😭😭
#diary#ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLA#LIKE ITS SOOOOOOOOO PETTY#like i know i’m insane#but he knew i was insane when we met & then he ghosted so it’s only just#& it makes me laugh so fucking hard bc i knew he wouldn’t block my number he’s TOO NARCISSISTIC#i mean i already know i’m deleting & remaking my scruff & grindr in a month or 2 so i’ll be BACK ON IT#unless i’m in the uk then i :( gotta focus :(#ALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKSA BUT ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY#like when he blocks my number i’m just going to show up at his office ALSKASLALKSLAKSLAKSALKSLAKSLAKSLA#like hi xxxxx uwu#I KNOW IM INSANE BUT IF U PLAY W MY EMOTIONS I PLAY W UR LIFE#like ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLAKS IF HE DIDNT GHOST & JUST BROKE THINGS OFF LIKE AN ADULT INSTEAD OF A COWARD WE WOULDNT BE HERE#BUT HERE WE ARE#HE STILL HASNT SAID ANYTHING ALONG THE LINES OF ‘IM NOT INTERSTED’ HES PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO DO SO BC HE LIKES THE ATTENTION SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭#girl this has been going on for like a year
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AUTHORS WRITING WLW RELATIONSHIPS TRY TO DEPICT THEM AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN CISHET CHALLENGE 😱😳‼️💪🔥😤💯
#ik this is a bold statement#but I fucking stand by it.#why are so many wlw dynamics in fiction literally just cisheterosexuality repackaged.#WRITE SOME FUCKING MASC4MASC/BUTCH4BUTCH YOU COWARDS#JUSTICE FOR BUTCHES WHO LOVE OTHER BUTCHES (me)#WHY ARE Y'ALL DEFINING A QUEER RELATIONSHIP WITH CISHET PARAMETERS ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID#also fucking DISCLAIMER i am by no means invalidating butch4femme couples#y'all rock y'all are cute as fuck#im just tryna get represented out here because wE FUCKING EXIST
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.
#august living#me chanting to myself on this t d ov#its ok to have dysphoria its ok to have dysphoria its ok to have dysphoria#bc i put an outfit that was kinda against school rules but vry much for the euphoria of it all together today#and then i did some fun more like metal head masc type makeup when i got home bc we got let out early#bc the building our schools in had the water shut off at lunch for maintenance#so i felt rlly fucking Man today and like. in a way that is so so so so close. so close. to how i wanna be.#that now that its later and ive taken and posted selfies and can look at them and go hes right there. hes right fucking there.#im having a dysphoria flare#god. god!! i haven't gone to any dr since my last check up for last years seizure#i haven't seen my gp in. like 2. years#the thought of seeing her and being like yes my records do say i had a medical event im here for gender tho.#is so fucking daunting.#but finding a new dr for gender sounds. worse.#the thought of diying is not a distant one but i know who i am and i wont keep track of like labs or other shit like that by myself#i want to not be a coward with medical stuff but i am!! i am and i hate it!! its ruining my fucking life and i cant fucking stop it
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Listening to OzMedia talk abt Illuminaughti on stream and its crazy how close to home it hits when he describes blaires behavior. Like 1:1 to how crinkle acted. Something abt a toddler being caught trying to open a cookie jar, turning around and telling you they'll forgive you for the accusation if you let them open the cookie jar. Also good thoughts on being stuck in a fantasy world.
#i still dont believe hes actually capable of not being duplicitous#Maybe ill change my mind once he actually does something abt all the bullshit he pulled and owns up to his readers abt how much he lied#so far we are still in coward town afaik. gotta cover his ass and his internalized biphobia causing people to be collateral#if he could he would keep his head in the sand 4ever and tbh i get it#when the head pokes out it tends to bully people and cause messes#both crinkle and krys are stuck in fantasy worlds where they are the top martyrs to exist lmao#but actually theyre the ones lashing out and being really fuckin rude and hurting ppl and then it comes back right to them#anyways im almost done with uni which is why im not here lol#bigger fish to fry#had to pop in bcs that stream!!!!!! ITS INSANE TO HEAR HOW SIMILAR MY EXPERIENCES ARE WITH THEM#dealing with delusional people is one hell of a drug#add stubbornness to it and its even more grating#iykyk#substitute the cookie jar for cheating behavior and being allowed to push everyone to the sidelines because they have a /new best bud/#from what ive heard the best bud thing eroded btw#SURPRISE TO NO ONE#said it a year ago lol#was it worth it#anyways#back to painting and listening to my stream#c u in a month
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