#but im like... need more chamomile plants

[nothingbutalgae]

Listen, I just think it's funny that even though I don't smoke weed and only partake in edibles like once a month or less, I'm hyped for the weed legalization bill here in MN. I ordered autoflower seeds so I can start growing some bc I really like plants and gardening, so I guess we'll see what happens here. All my other plants I've grown from seed this year seem to be doing well so.....

[sphylor]

if you want to talk about pcos dew use this as a reason because im very in love with the idea

(this is all based on my own experiences with pcos and follows tried and true methods of helping things feel a little less shitty. also god i wish i had a Rain and Mountain ghoul to do these things for me hdsbjdf)

okay so Mountain and Rain look after Dew the most whenever his pcos is causing issues. Mountain keeps his raspberry plants growing all year round just so they can make tea from the leaves to help with Dew's cramps. they'll both encourage him to sit up from where he's been led in his bed, curled up around his middle with his hands pressed onto his abdomen like heat pads. Mountain will lay him up against his chest and replace Dew's hands with his own. they're warm like stones left out in the sun all day and that combined with gentle massages means they help ease the pain a little. Rain passes him his tea and feeds him the iron rich meals that they both prepared for him. the tea doesn't have any real flavour itself but its loaded with honey from Mountain's bees and Dew loves it.

they encourage him to go on walks when he can manage it, even if it is just a few laps around his room or down the corridor to the ghoul den and back. they let him lean on them whenever he needs to. when his cramps are so bad that he can't move about too much Mountain will carry him around and take him outside for fresh air. Normally Dew's in too much pain to actually pay attention to what Mountain's saying about each of the plants but the sound of his voice and steady heartbeat against his ear help distract him from the pain somewhat.

when Dew needs help getting cleaned up Mountain will change any sheets and put any clothes and other soiled stuff in the wash while Rain helps Dew clean up. sometimes all he can manage/needs is a quick shower where he'll lean up against Rain with his eyes closed and let the water ghoul do the work. other times baths are better especially on the more painful days. they'll sit in the tub together and again Dew will let Rain do all the work while he rests. the warm water soothes his pain and the steam helps if he has a migraine.

when they all lay down to sleep together in Mountain's big bed, Mountain will emit lavender and chamomile scents to help Dew sleep through the discomfort and pain. if he cant get to sleep even with that, though, Rain stays awake with him for as long as he needs (Mountain can't help falling asleep as the sun goes down bur Rain is always staying up late anyway). they talk or watch films or tv shows on Mountain's laptop and Rain does everything he can to help distract Dew from the pain and discomfort for long enough so that he can fall asleep. Dew really appreciates his company. he appreciated both of their efforts so so much. and how the rest of the pack helps too! but Rain and Mountain genuinely do not leave his side the whole time.

(aaa i also have some nsfw thoughts on the matter but maybe those are for another post ;3)

[cripplingparanoia]

Orchid - Something In The Way, Nirvana

Cactus - Raising a child 😂

Bamboo - Probably the pjs I was wearing before I left, or just removing layers until I'm comfy

Abelia - honestly? No, but I'd really like to have something like that. I'm still working on even having clothes I like, soooo

Daffodil - I have 6, & I think we are only alike in that we share parents, although my older sister & bro were fosters, but I think we are all unique in our own special way & that's not a bad thing, but I don't really talk to any of them anymore either

Mahonia - being in nature, especially riding my bike or even jogging. It rents to leave me clear minded & refreshed, & I'm more motivated to do more other things I enjoy and need done

Chia - I can't think of anything currently, but my ex bestie & I used to always tell this one guy on our school bus "Brush your teeth" whenever we got to his stop after school and when he got on before. Idek why, it's not like he had bad breath or yellow teeth, so no idea how or why we started, but yea

Sage - Music. It's one of the only arts you don't use your eyes for. Feels more spiritual that way

Edelweiss - I actually don't remember. I don't struggle with paranoia too bad myself unless I smoke sativa 😂 I honestly think I just needed something quick, easy, & catchy that wasn't taken already lol

Camellia - I was a trouble maker but I was also kind & full of wonder. In some ways I have changed, I definitely don't cause as much trouble than I used to, but even that hasn't changed much lol. I'm still trying to get that "childlike wonder" back, but I'm actually making progress surprisingly. I still like a lot of the amaane things, and some new things. Mostly, I've grown rather than "changed". Im still the same me, but just a slightly better version. I'm also still young, lol, so I have plenty more growing. But I don't think I'll ever change. I'll always like dinosaurs and Japan, I'll always dress "unconventional", and I'll always remain kind & full of wonder

Jasmine - hmm, I don't think so!

Ivy - Happy, giggling. Sad, I cry easily. Upset, quiet or irritable. Angry, loud & overwhelmed. Annoyed, quiet but with attitude. Tried, quiet and sluggish.

Chamomile - crystals & incense & candles (spiritual stuff etc), dresses, shoes, bags (clothes etc), candy, cake, ice cream (treats etc) books, movie dvds, & music CDs or records, stuffed animals, art supplies, skin care, anything cutesy

Aloe Vera - meditating by a creek or stream in a wooded area while the birds chirp & the leaves rustle on a cool but not cold day, like warm with a nice breeze

Palm Tree - Soundwave or Kylo Ren (probably most of my other fictional crushes too tbh 😭😭😭 [Doc Ock 😂])

Nutmeg - not currently really, but I have some decorations. Hopefully someday tho, my room will be green & pink color scheme & show my personality thru decorations, show my girly & boyish sides, with spiritual touches & kinky stuff, with a focus on plants & nature & just have a welcoming vibe.

Papyrus - The Light Behind Your Eyes by MCR, like some of their other music, it's so powerful and enchanting, it just sweeps you up & takes you away on a journey. Its immersive in a way.

Taro - I had a son w my bf or 2 years, I grew my hair out past my shoulders finally, my birthday is in 4 days, I moved out of my parents and live in an apt now, but we are looking for a house for when our lease is up now that our son is here. I'm much happier nowadays.

 ﹟random get-to-know-me ask game  !! 

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

bamboo ⇢ do you change into a different outfit when you get home?

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?

chia ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else?

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you?

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

taro ⇢ if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about?

[todouswife]

SOOOOO IVE BEEN GONE FOR LIKE EVER SORRY EVERYONE!!! i see u guys asking for more fanum hcs so ill be writing that when i have time !!! i work a lot so sorry for it being MONTHS.

okay aside from that i have something that ive been writing in my free time on my phone so i wanna post it bc im kinda proud of it but idk where to go with it😭😭 so it will probably stop at this unless people like it. also lets not comment about how my fem mcs are always being saved by someone

Sunlight slowly invaded the small house making a peacefully sleeping woman sturr awake. A small groan left her lips as she sat up in her bed. Destiny gently rubs her eyes just to be greeted by the bright light of the sun peaking in her room making her wence. She scoots off her bed and walks to her bathroom. When she is finished she goes to start her morning routine, she starts with checking on her familiars. She opens the door to her room, stepping out into the cozy, sunlit livingroom. Her bunny fimilliar, Carrot hops over to greet her, while the longhaired bull, Thor, lifts his head from his comfortable spot near the hearth. Outside, through the open window, she can see the deer, Solar, grazing peacefully in the meadow that surrounds her house.

"Good morning, everyone," Destiny says with a smile, her voice soft and warm. She kneels down to pet Carrot, who nuzzles her hand affectionately. "Did you all sleep well?"

Carrot wiggles his nose in response, and Thor lets out a grunt. Luna looks up briefly, her ears twitching in acknowledgment before she resumes her grazing.

Destiny moved to the kitchen, where she began to prepare breakfast for herself and her familiars. As she worked, she thought about the crystals and candles she would need for her shop. She made a mental list of all the things she would need as she finished making the food. She set out bowls of fresh greens and grains for Carrot and Thor, and a small bucket of water for Solar. After finishing breakfast, Destiny headed outside to tend to her garden. The herbs and plants she grew were important for her potions and amulets, and she took great care of them. As she worked, she hummed a soft tune, feeling at peace in nature.

The garden was lush and vibrant, filled with colorful flowers and herbs. Lavender, rosemary, and sage grew in neat rows, while chamomile and calendula dotted the edges of the garden beds. Destiny carefully harvested the plants she needed, making sure to leave enough for regrowth. She paused to admire the butterflies flitting about and the bees busily collecting nectar.

Once her garden tasks were complete, Destiny grabbed her bag and set out towards town. She needed to replenish her supply of candles, crystals, and other ingredients for her spells and potions. Her small shop, nestled in the woods, depended on the quality of these ingredients, and today was the perfect day for a trip to the market.

As she walked through the bustling town market, she felt the usual dirty stares directed her way. Being a known witch wasn't easy, but Destiny had learned to navigate the stares and whispers with grace. She focused on her errand, visiting her favorite stalls and chatting with the vendors who had come to appreciate her kindness and steady business.

"Well hi there Destiny, how have you been doing? Anything new?" Morrganna, The shopkeeper that sells Destiny her crystals, asks her.

"Oh nothing really, not too many people trust a witch," Destiny giggles, "I really need more clients."

"Oh i dont see why not," Morrganna sighs, " I swear these people are backwards sometimes. you and me are almost the same" she chuckles. Destiny and Morrganna continue to make small talk as she picked out all the things she needed.

She picked up various herbs, crystals, and candles, carefully selecting each item. The vendors she frequented greeted her warmly, exchanging pleasantries and small talk. Destiny's kind nature and genuine interest in their lives had earned her a few friends in the market.

She lingered at a stall selling handmade candles, admiring the beautiful candles. "These are beautiful, Miranda," Destiny said to the vendor, an older kind woman.

"Thank you, dear," Miranda replied with a smile. "I've got some new scents today, if you're interested."

Destiny nodded eagerly, inhaling the fragrances of lavender, rose, and sandalwood from the candle Miranda let her sniff. She selected a few candles and paid for them, grateful for how much care that Miranda always put into her work.

However, as she moved towards the outskirts of the market, where the less savory characters tended to linger, she felt a sudden change in the atmosphere. A group of rough-looking men stood nearby, their eyes narrowing as they spotted her.

"Hey, witch," one of them sneered, stepping in front of her. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in your creepy little hut making potions?"

Destiny tried to step around him, but he blocked her way. "I'm just here to buy supplies," she whispers calmly, her eyes shooting to the floor just wanting to finish her shopping.

The man laughed, a harsh, unpleasant sound. "Supplies for your dark magic, huh? We don't need your kind around here. All You people do is make trouble."

Before she could respond, he grabbed her arm roughly, making her wince. "Please let go of me," Destiny softly demands, trying to pull away her arm.

"Or what?" he taunted, tightening his grip. Destiny could hear his friends laughing around her. She turns her head looking for someone willing to help however all she sees is the mans friends surrounding her.

Just then, a shadow fell over them. Destiny looked up to see two towering figures approaching. Two half-orics were standing there with their arms crossed. One is taller than the other they both were very frightning looking.

"Is there a problem here?" one asked, his deep voice calm but threatning. Destiny watched as the men began to cower and back away.

The man's rough voice melted away in the face of the two half-orcs. "N-no, no problem," he stuttered, backing away. "We were just having a little chat." he finishes nervously dropping her arm.

Another stepped forward, his piercing blue eyes locked on the man. "It didn't look like a chat to me," he said quietly. "I suggest you leave her alone."

Without another word, the man turned and ran, his friends following close behind. Destiny let out a shaky breath, relief flooding her system.

"Thank you," she said, looking up at the two orcs with a smile. "That was so scary. I can't thank you enough. You have my gratitude."

The oric with purple eyes smiled gently, his eyes softening. "We're just glad we could help. Are you alright?"

Destiny nodded. "Yes, thanks to you both. I don't know how I can pay you back."

The other gave a small nod with a soft smile of concern. "You don't have to pay us back for anything. Do you need help with your shopping? We can walk with you."

Destiny smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her cheeks. "Oh, no i couldnt ask you two to do that."

"No we insist, let us help you. Those humans could come back." The purple-eyed orc says with a smile, "We can help with holding your items."

"Well if you two insist, i do have a few more shops to go to and these pouches are weighing me down." The taller purple eyed orcs smile grew as he approched Destiny.

"My apologies, we have yet to introduse ourselves, i am Sal." Destiny took a good look at Sal he is tall somewhere around 7'5. He is buff you can clearly tell he worked out regularly he is a chubby kind of fit. he has long dreads that hang to his sholders, he has bushy eyebrows that naturally sit in a furrow. His face complemented with a short but bushy beard His dark brown skin complementing his dark purple eyes, His plumps round lips were slightly parted with the tips of his tusks peaking between.

"I am Gireth," The other orc finally spoke pulling Destinys attention. She takes amoment to look at him taking him in. He was tall as well not as tall as Sal, probubly around 7'3. He has pale skin and short ginger hair, blue eyes hard and unwelcoming. His face sitting at a scawl naturally, his plump lips in a natural pout. His build similar to Sal's however Gireth is nuch bulkier.

"It's very nice to meet you both. I'm Destiny," she said, her voice steadying as she began to relax. "Thank you again for helping me. It can be a bit rough around here sometimes. I have not seen that group of men before though."

Sal chuckled, his deep yet soft voice resonating. "We're happy to help, Destiny. Let's get your shopping finished, and then we'll see you home safely."

As they walked together, the orcs carrying her purchases, Destiny felt safe with the two orcs with her. They chatted about many different things as they walked, the market, their backgrounds, and her work as a witch.

"So, Destiny," Gireth asked, his stern expression softening slightly. "What kind of potions do you make?"

"All sorts, really," Destiny replied, she took this as an opportunity to get them as customers. "Healing potions, love potions, potions for courage. I also make amulets and charms for protection and good luck. There are so many things i can do, i do almost anything except for harming people. I just want to help"

Sal nodded, impressed. "Sounds like you do good things with your power. People should appreciate that."

"I wish they did," Destiny said with a sigh. "It's hard sometimes, but I love what I do, besides magic just came naturally to me." she finishes smiling.

By the time they had finished her shopping, Destiny felt comfortable around Sal and Gireth, like she had made two new friends. The orcs presence had been comforting for her there was something she couldnt explain about them. Their aura was different, just something she couldn't explain. They walked her back to the edge of the market.

"Thank you again, Sal, Gireth," Destiny said, smiling warmly at them. "I don't know what I would have done without you today."

"Anytime, Destiny," Sal said, giving her a slight nod. "Take care, and if you ever need help, you know where to find us."

Gireth added, "Stay safe, Destiny. We'll be around."

Destiny turned to them with a polite smile. "Would you like to come in for some tea?" she offered, hoping to repay the kindness in some way.

Sal and Gireth exchanged a glance before Sal nodded. "We'd love to."

As they settled around the small, wooden table in Destiny's cozy kitchen, the soft glow of candlelight created a warm atmosphere. The smell of her special herbal blend filled the room, mingling with the scents of dried herbs and flowers that adorned the shelves.

Destiny poured the tea into three handmade cups, the steam rising in delicate swirls. "I hope you like it," she said with a shy smile, handing the cups to Sal and Gireth. "It's a my own special blend."

Sal took a sip, his eyes closing briefly as he took in the taste. "This is wonderful, Destiny," he said, his deep voice filled with suprise. "I've never had tea quite like this before."

Gireth nodded in agreement, his stern expression softening as he took another sip. "It's very calming," he says with his voice quieter than usual. "You have a real talent for this."

Destiny's cheeks flushed at the complements. "Thank you," she replied, taking a sip of her own tea. "I'm glad you like it." she says looking down at the cup with a smile

[farsailing]

spending today sitting in the garden reading, trying to remember to be thankful to the theoi for the little things, the small gifts they give us in the singing of the cicadas and the blooming of the cornflowers and the peas

[emobatsy]

started researching traditional german herbal medicine for my larp in august where i’ll have an actual apprentice :’) i’m so excited

[alittlewhump]

Unbidden - Act 1, chapter 8

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Content warnings: death mention, possible minor body horror with regards to injury

It had been a fortnight since Andariel. Morgan was adjusting to his new reality, one where speaking much louder than a whisper for more than a few sentences made it feel like he'd been screaming his throat raw. Where pain was out of proportion to the damage that caused it. Where his left arm was all but useless. Although he felt well enough to get up and move around, the wound on his arm showed no signs of closing. An inky colouration had spread out from the puncture, extending up above his elbow and down to his wrist. It turned his stomach to look at it. Any remaining strength in the limb was negated by the pain that shot through it at the slightest jostle or pull. Akara's expertise in the healing arts was not sufficient to handle a wound like this, caused by a demon queen and determined to linger. She had offered her sympathies and a supply of bandages, which at least allowed him to bind the damned thing so he didn't have to see it. His own limited knowledge of medicine did not extend to this manner of injury either, so simply keeping it covered and clean seemed like the best option available.

Morgan had been spending most of his time and energy on meditation and geomancy. Physical pursuits were not very attractive at the moment, so instead he focused on improving his magic. He would need it more than ever now, given the state of his arm. Eventually he would return to the graveyard he'd marked, to check on the restless spirits there, but he wasn't yet well enough for that journey.

The ground around the encampment was largely untended, but the soil was good. Morgan had been using it to flex his magical abilities cautiously, not wanting them to suffer from disuse. He turned small patches at a time, shuffling the richer earth up toward the surface bit by bit, until eventually there was a respectable area prepared. Nobody had asked him to install a garden, but it felt like it might be a useful contribution. It also helped to ground him. He had often tended the gardens back home, and found now that he was missing that work.

Short forays into the surrounding fields were still within the scope of Morgan's ability. Over the course of about a week, he'd managed to successfully transplant a reasonable variety of usable plants. Comfrey, feverfew, yarrow, and chamomile had all been easy enough to spot, and each had at least one medicinal use. They also had the benefit of being reasonably hardy, taking root well in the freshly turned earth. He had also experimented a little with some preparations of other plants he'd found - an outcrop of sway grass by a small lake, some sage nestled in among a patch of bright trefoil, a little bark from the willow just outside the encampment - but despite following standard procedures for preparation, none of the resultant concoctions did anything to relieve the pain of his injury. He took some fruits from what looked like an oleaster, intending to dry them for another attempt in the future, but he kept his expectations low. If the wound wasn't going to heal properly, it stood to reason that the other effects would also linger.

Cain had been good company, stopping by often. He inquired about the garden as it was talking shape and seemed legitimately interested in the various applications of the plants filling it. Morgan took care not to speak at too much length on any one topic, endlessly interesting though they were. Equally fascinating were the tales Cain had to share in exchange. The story of Tristram had been a sobering one, between the king's corruption by Diablo and the destruction it had wrought. And it seemed that it was not yet concluded, given the hero-turned-dark-wanderer who had fled. It would be worth pursuing that tale to its conclusion; Morgan's original request had been duly fulfilled, but the evident threat to the Balance was more pressing than returning to the Necropolis.

He'd also been alternating between meditating on ways to improve his clay golems and creating small versions to test the changes he'd thought of. So far he had come up with a lot of failed designs, going too far to the extremes to test the boundaries. A build with above average mobility that would crumble in combat, a strong and sturdy make that could absorb a great deal of punishment but would be too slow to hit anything that wasn't standing still. Now it was time to rein it in, to tinker with proportions and the flow of magic through the construct until something better emerged. Morgan slipped easily into the in-between state, retreating into his mind while his body rested in a comfortable cross-legged position. A pleasant breeze ruffled the leaves of the tree he was leaning against. Today would be good for focusing on the smaller details. He lost himself for a time in the contemplation of his designs.

A crawling, prickling discomfort pulled him back into reality. The sun was getting low in the sky. Someone had put their hand on his shoulder, and they were speaking to him.

"- word I've said, have you?" It was Blaise, looking annoyed.

Morgan shifted away from her, and she let her hand fall. "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't hear you. I was meditating." The rough sound of his voice was another thing he was still getting used to. He rubbed his throat gingerly. Should have thought to keep some water nearby.

"Of course you were. I said, I talked to Kashya and she's agreed to give you some training. If you're going to keep fighting monsters and demons, you'll need some help. With your swordplay. It's not very good."

She was right, of course. Now that he could no longer hold a shield, his sword would have to be defensive as well - and magic had always been his strength, not actual physical strength or coordination. He'd been planning to refocus himself entirely on the magical side of things, but this was undeniably a good idea even if he didn't relish the prospect of physical training. Any formal instruction in the use of a sword would be useful.

"When?"

"You're welcome. Whenever you're ready. As soon as tomorrow." Instead of turning to go, she sat next to him. He expected her to keep talking, but she didn't. Maybe she was working up to something. The silence stretched uncomfortably. She didn't like him, she'd often said as much - so why was she staying so near? He'd been doing his best to be avoidable, true to his word. She hadn't been taking advantage of it, instead crossing his path at least once a day. Probably some sort of sense of obligation. The Sisterhood had been treating him with a cautious, grudging respect since Andariel's defeat. It was... strange.

That reminded him of a question he'd been meaning to ask. Now seemed as good a time as any, so he turned to study her. "Blaise. Why did you tell everyone I killed Andariel?"

She startled visibly and raised a hand to shush him. "What the hell, Morgan," she hissed, "you can't just say-" she cut herself off, looking around furtively. Apparently satisfied that nobody was eavesdropping, she continued in hushed tones. "Look, if Akara and Kashya knew I killed that big ugly bitch, they'd never let me get away from this backwater. It's different for you. They're expecting you to go. And when you leave, I'm going with you. At least until I'm well away from here. This place... I'm not really cut out to be part of something like this."

"Ah." That explanation made enough sense. He hadn't realized she wanted to leave, but then he often didn't realize things about other people. Perhaps he'd misinterpreted her loyalty as fondness. There wasn't always a correlation there. She hadn't exactly been talkative during their time together - not to him, not about personal wishes and desires. It also explained the closeness; by spending time around him, she was putting on a front, laying the groundwork that would justify her departure. Satisfied, he turned away to look at the sky. It was starting to be tinged with pink, and it was lovely to see.

"How do you do it?" Now it was her turn to scrutinize him. She was staring intently at his face as though it was going to hold anything other than confusion. Do what? Had he slipped back into his thoughts and missed part of the conversation? "I mean, doesn't it bother you?" That clarified nothing. He stared blankly, and she huffed. "People don't like you. As a necromancer. I mean, we didn't exactly give you a warm welcome. But there's no way it's just us. Your kind are... well, hated."

Oh, that. It was just a fact. He'd come to accept it easily enough. People didn't usually take kindly to him even before they knew his particular area of specialization. He shrugged, wondering idly what had lead to the question. She didn't seem to like that response.

"It's normal," he offered.

"It's not normal! How could you think that's normal? How do you... live with it?" She gesticulated, as though the waving of her hands might clarify her meaning. It did not. How else would he live? He took a moment to search for the words to frame it.

"As followers of Rathma, we are driven by pursuit of the Balance. What others think of us is not important."

"Not im- Morgan, of course it's important! The way people treat you matters. You have to rely on other people all the time."

"I try not to."

Blaise pinched the bridge of her nose as though the conversation was giving her a headache. "Yeah, I know you do. But sometimes you don't have a choice. Like - there's no way you could have gone up against Andariel alone, she would have killed you in a second."

"Mm." While certainly true, it didn't change much. Alone, he would have been more cautious, planned better. Probably died anyway. Others would have come to take his place. His individual life only held value in the contribution it could make toward the Balance. Death came inevitably to all things; to die in service was at least honourable.

Blaise seemed agitated. "I don't think you understand - this is life and death stuff. For fuck's sake, you nearly did die! When-" she lowered her voice, which had risen in frustration. It shook a little. "When I brought you to Akara, she argued with me. She didn't want to waste her supplies on you. She was just going to let you die on her doorstep, because she doesn't like you. That's not normal. You can't just think that's okay."

It certainly wasn't extraordinary. That was why necromancers generally brewed their own potions, not that he'd had either the time or the forethought to reach for his own during the encounter. He started to shrug again. Akara had been pleasant enough since - oh. All the pieces came together suddenly, but the picture they formed didn't quite make sense. Blaise had lied to save him. She'd decided, probably on an impulse, out of desperation, to frame him as the hero because the healer wasn't going to touch him otherwise. She had wanted him to live, and had sacrificed her own part in the story to ensure his survival.

Of course, that type of instinctively selfless behaviour was part of the reason he'd decided she was a genuinely good person. But having that kindness extended to him - that was new. He didn't quite know what to make of it. People weren't kind to him, as a rule. That was familiar, at least, predictable. It didn't feel like he'd done anything to earn this special treatment. He'd have to tread carefully.

"It's what I'm used to," he said quietly. "Death comes to all things. We do not expect others to delay it for us. But you... are extraordinary." It didn't really feel adequate, but he would need some time to process this new information, and the moment would be long past by then. "Thank you," he added. That also felt shallow. He had no reference to draw from - what was the appropriate way to convey this tangle of feelings? Indebtedness, surprise, gratitude, admiration, and those were just the aspects he had names for. He purposely held her gaze for a moment, hoping she would be able to glean something from that since his words weren't doing the job.

Blaise opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. Instead, she stood and stretched. "I bet you haven't even eaten today. Come on, Charsi made these beautiful rabbit pies. You have to try them." She extended her hand toward him. He didn't especially want to join a communal meal, but it would be rude to refuse such a rare offer. And he had, in fact, neglected to eat. He took her hand to pull himself up. Tomorrow he would attempt to train with Kashya, but right now he wouldn't worry about it.

[walking-true-to-style]

She || J.M.

Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Pregnant! Reader

Words: 5.05k

Warnings: ANGST CENTRAL. Medical topics, blood, death, pregnancy

Gender: Cis Female

Request: I merged two anonymous requests:

“Can i request angst with joe? like him losing his wife at childbirth and he only has their daughter left? Sorry im really feeling the angst today”

“Im a bit scared to ask, but could you write a fic with joe where after the readers due date extends past 2 weeks, they both get really scared but finally their daughter is brought into the world? And the daughters name is Josephine Francis to match her daddy's name? ❤❤ thank you!!!” 

(I’m so sorry btw 2nd anon this is not what you wanted I’m sure)

Synopsis: You and Joe have been trying for a baby for forever. Now that she’s on the way, she is stubborn and won’t come out. This can lead to some complications. Nevertheless, you and Joe will try to stick it out as much as you can for little baby Josephine. He’s gonna be a great dad.

A/N: I just wannt point out. Dr. Fahmy is a real person in NYC dealing in pregnancies. I used his name to make the story a little more realistic.This is in no way a reflection on him or his work. He’s rated as a 5-star Doctor, and I’m sure he’s amazing. 

“(y/n), I know this is scary, but you need to come back to bed.”

“Joe, she’s two weeks overdue! How can I just fucking come back to bed?” you stare at your husband exasperatedly before continuing to pace around your bedroom. Joe watches you from the bed with a clenched jaw and worried eyes. He bites the inside of his cheek as he listens to you ramble.

“God, maybe this is a sign. Maybe we AREN’T ready. What the fuck is going to happen to me? To the baby!” Beads of sweat trickle down your face. You feel a slight kick inside you, causing you to stop in your tracks. You look down at your belly and set your hands on it.

“You HAVE to come out. PLEASE. What is taking you so long?!” you beg. Tears stream from your eyes, and you hide your face in your hand, shaking.

At this point, Joe can’t bear to watch you panic more. He sighs and shakes his head.

“Alright, alright. That’s enough, babe. We need to think rationally about this.” he comes up behind you and snakes his arms around your midsection. He leans into you and sets his head on your shoulder, planting small pecks on your neck. You stand there and sob, taking in your husband’s scent. He comes around to face you, and you bury yourself into his chest. He holds you gently, careful not to squish your stomach at all and rubs your back.

“It’s gonna be okay, (y/n). I promise.” Joe whispers to you sweetly. You sniffle and whimper, holding him tighter. He moves from stroking your back to your head, letting out a small sigh.

“I won’t let anything happen to you. I love you.”

“I love you too…” you murmur.

You aren’t really sure how, but Joe seems to have superpowers in calming you down from panic attacks. The moment he touched you, a sense of calm already washed over your body. It was as if he were a warm lavender bath every time he engulfed you in his arms.

The house begins to still and time speeds back up for you after a moment. As you calm down, Joe pulls back and looks at you with complete admiration. You flush slightly under his gaze. He rubs your blotchy, tear-streaked cheeks. You lean into his touch and take a long breath through your nose in a futile attempt to clear it.

“There’s my beautiful girl.” he grins. You scoff at him playfully and clear your throat.

“Even when I’m a gross, snotty mess?” you ask him weakly. He snorts at your question and kisses your cheek.

“Even when you’re a snot monster, (y/n).” Joe smirks and sits you down on the bed finally, kneeling in front of you. He rubs your thighs lovingly, and you bring a hand to his cheek. He moves to kiss your palm a few times before using your thighs as support to get up.

“Feeling better?” he inquires. You nod, earning a kiss on the knuckles from him.

“How ‘bout I make you some warm chamomile tea. Doc said you can have just a little right?” you chuckle at the mischievous little smile playing on Joe’s lips and the subtle shoulder shimmy he’s doing.

“Sounds good, babe.” you smile back, exhaustion evident in your face. Dark bags lay thick under your eyes, and your cheeks are still blotchy and wet. Still, your husband looks upon you with a doting gaze. Joe plants a kiss to your hair and goes to the door. Before he exits he turns back to you.

“I’ll be right back. I’ll miss you.” He says the last part with a silly voice, earning a snort from you with a playful eye roll to follow.

“Miss you too, Joey.” he lets out an amused snuff at your reaction and disappears down the hall. You watch the door for a moment before your gaze shifts about the beige walls of the room, over the shelves with various knick-knacks, including Sledge’s old pipe, and photos of you and Joe through various points in your life. You giggle at the one from the night you first started dating, remembering how Joe couldn’t take his eyes off you in the car after Rocky Horror that night.

You’ve both come such a long way since then.

Your eyes finally fall onto the mirror, reflecting your form on the bed. Your gaze fixes onto your swollen belly in the reflection. Setting a gentle hand on top of it, you rub your abdomen over the fabric of your shirt. You breathe deeply and exhale.

“We’re gonna be okay, Ms. Josephine Francis…” you whisper.

As if on cue, you hear the teapot squealing and a “SHIT!” from Joe, followed by a calamity of dishes clamoring together. You snort and shake your head, letting out an amused sigh.

“That is, if your daddy doesn’t kill us all first.”

A few moments later, Joe appears with a mug of tea and a sheepish smile. You cock a brow at him in questioning, though, you have a feeling you know what happened.

“Burn yourself, Joe?” you smirk at him. He feigns insult at you and laughs.

“I don’t have to answer that.” he jokes as he sets the mug on your nightstand, steam flowing out. You chortle and press your lips together.

“Your silence says a thousand words, my love.” you tell him. He leans down and plants a kiss on your lips before helping you get your legs up and then coming around to settle in beside you.

“We’re gonna call Dr. Fahmy tomorrow first thing, I promise.” Joe yawns as he snuggles into your shoulder, hot breath from his nose fanning over your neck and collarbone. His arm finds a way over your midsection, still careful about where his arms end up. You always admired his delicacy with your body. He treated it like a priceless artifact that must be treasured at all times, even when making love, which you’ve both abstained from since you learned about your pregnancy. Still, he remains just as physical as before, even if it is more gently and carefully. Truly, he is the man of your heart and you are always sure to return the favor to him.

You nod and take the mug of tea from the nightstand, blowing on the top to cool the water. You take a few sips and set it back down. Joe rubs your arm gently and peers up at you through half-lidded eyes.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” he inquires breathily. He kisses your shoulder and snuggles you closer. You turn to him and press a kiss into his forehead.

“Only every day, but I like the reminders.” you reply snarkily. He hums and closes his eyes. You reach over to turn off the light and settle down, laying your head on top of his. You close your eyes, already feeling your exhaustion catching up to you.

“I love you, Joe. Thank you so much.” you yawn out before dozing off.

“I love you too, beautiful. Sweet dreams.”

The next morning, you wake up to an empty space beside you and the mug missing from your nightstand. Peering over at the clock on your wall, it reads 8:37 AM. The smell of food is wafting into the room, piquing your interest. Your stomach immediately growls at the scent, demanding you investigate. Your hips contract slightly, causing you to grunt from the sensation. You settle your hand on your belly and tsk.

“Alright, lighten up there, Francis. We’ll get you some food in a sec.” you tell your unborn daughter. You shift out of bed and hoist yourself up. Slipping on your slippers, you make your way to the kitchen where Joe is setting out plates of fruit and chocolate chip pancakes with peanut butter. Queen is playing as he moves about the kitchen. You’d think he’d be tired of it by now, but you’re so glad he isn’t.

“What’s all this?” you smirk at him. His head jerks up to meet you, obviously spooked by your silent entrance.

“I figured you would want to have a good breakfast after last night.” Joe says sweetly. He sets down the silverware and makes his way over to you, wrapping his arms around the small of your back and kissing you. You chuckle at him and and peck his cheek again.

“You should really not let me give into my cravings, dork.” you chuckle at him. He sways you gently and says, “Yeah, but how can I not spoil the most beautiful woman in the world? Besides,” he bends down to kiss your midsection. “You’re still eating for two.” You scoff at him jokingly, though, you nod. Joe pulls out the chair for you and pushes you in.

“Hopefully not for too much longer…” you bite the inside of your cheek, not meaning for it to come out so bitter. Joe ushers an “I know.” to you and pours out some water for you.

“How are we feeling this morning, by the way?” he asks. You shrug at him.

“Not bad. Glad I was able to sleep in a bit. Oh- I need to call Dr. Fahmy.” you remember suddenly. You pull out your phone and look up the number, Joe shakes his head.

“I already called this morning. He can take us at 3 today, if that works. That’s the soonest he had.”

“That’s perfect, you’re the best.” you grin. He leans down to kiss you, which you reciprocate happily.

“I know.” he snorts. You laugh in return.

As Joe sits down, he pulls out his phone to check news and social media for any BoRhap fans’ DMs. You do the same, humming to the music playing and sit in a comfortable silence as you both eat. The sound of your silverware and the music in the background are the only sounds in the otherwise peaceful home. To your surprise, Joe actually did quite a good job making breakfast this morning. Nothing was overly burnt or undercooked. You’ve taught him well since moving in together.

After you’ve finished your meals, Joe clears the dishes, despite your complaining that you can do it yourself. Afterward, you both chill out until you need to head down to Fahmy’s office. Joe helps you into the car and comes around.

“Hey, Joe?” you start.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“What’ll happen if… something goes wrong? Like, we lose the baby or something?” you bite your lip nervously. Joe watches you with concern. He starts the car and looks at you assuringly.

“We’ll figure it out. If we do lose her, though, I certainly won’t mind trying again with you.” he winks. You push him and exclaim, “Jesus Christ, Joe!”  You know he was only trying to cheer you up, but damn. Joe pecks your cheek and chuckles.

“Sorry, sorry. But in all seriousness…. Dr. Fahmy is a good doctor. I doubt anything will happen, babe. And I’m going to be with you the whole time, okay?” he squeezes your hand and you nod your head at him.

“Okay.”

At the office, you and Joe sit in uncomfortable anticipation in the waiting room. You are laying your head on his shoulder as he fidgets with his wedding ring. There are other women in the room looking at you both. You don’t know if it’s because your husband is a celebrity or what. Either way, you really wish they’d stop. You pull out your phone to scroll through emails and texts to distract from the staring. Nevertheless, you feel the eyes on you.

A breath of relief escapes as you finally hear the nurse call the two of you back. You check vitals and get seated into the room.

“Dr. Fahmy will see you both in a moment. He’s finishing up with another patient.” the nurse tells you before exiting the room.

Great… more waiting.

“Hang in there, babe. This is gonna be over soon.” Joe soothes you. You lick your lips and sigh.

“I know. I’m just worried."

After about 20 minutes, Dr. Fahmy finally pokes his head in.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Mazzello. How are we doing today?” he asks you. You both exchange pleasantries and go through your vitals.

“So, from what I’m seeing by your last ultrasound, things are going smoothly.” he tells you. It gives you some relief.

“When was your last visit?”

“About a week ago.” Joe speaks up for you.

“Okay, so what I’m going to have you guys do is do a few tests while you’re here. We’re going to do another fetal heart rate monitoring and an amniotic fluid volume assessment. Are you aware of how those work?” he asks. You nod.

“Done it before.”

“Okay, wonderful. I’m going to take you back now if you want.” You nod and get in the wheelchair provided and head into testing rooms. Joe follows close behind.

After the tests, you are brought back to the room you were previously in. You hope the results are good.

After another agonizing passage of time, Dr. Fahmy returns with a clipboard and results attached. You squeeze Joe’s hand as you sit on the observation table. He looks at you assuringly.

“Thank you for your patience, Mr. and Mrs. Mazzello. I’m just reading over your results, everything is pretty normal with the exception of your babies size. She's bigger than most as it is. What we can do from here are a couple of things. First, we can either wait and see what happens- it’s very possible the reason for your post-term pregnancy is just a miscalculation of your last menstrual cycle. However, given your daughter’s size from the ultrasound last week, I may recommend doing a few things to induce labor. Now, we can do this a couple of ways. One is to take a medication to induce contractions. Usually the most common is….”

As he speaks, you’re just in a whirlwind of emotions. You sincerely hope Joe is getting this because you can hardly focus on what is going on due to how tired you are and coming down from the adrenaline of it all. All you can think about is all the “what-if” scenarios raging through your head. What if he’s wrong? What if there are complications during pregnancy? What if, what if, what if…

You look at your husband for support and he lays his head on your shoulder, rubbing your back with his free hand- the one you don’t have in an impossibly constricting death grip.

“...It’s really your call at this point, (y/n), but I wouldn’t wait much longer to make your next appointment.” Dr. Fahmy finishes, pulling you back to your senses. Joe and Dr. Fahmy look at you with anticipation for you answer.

“Uh- I think I’ll wait and see.” you say without thinking. Truthfully, you don’t even know if that was the right thing to do, but it felt right.

“Sounds good, Mrs. Mazzello. I’ll do a follow up with you in a week to see how everything is going. If you do end up going into labor beforehand, please come in immediately.” he tells you.

You head out of the office after checking out. At this point, the sun has already sunk behind the horizon, and stars were out.

“Jesus, how long were we in there…” you groan. Joe checks his phone.

“About 6 hours. Had to do all those tests and wait.”

“Jesus…. Let’s get food and go home.” you whine. Joe chuckles at you and grabs your hand as you walk back to the car.

You end up going out to eat at a vegetarian place Joe found good reviews on yelp for. Though not overly filling, it was deeply satisfying. On your way back home, you and Joe chattered amongst yourselves idly. Once home you both decided to watch a movie until you fall asleep. He let you choose tonight, and you threw on Jurassic Park.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Joe moans. You laugh at him as he plops down next to you.

“It’s what I wanna watch. Look how cute you were!” You point at the TV. Joe rolls his eyes at you, though, he smiles at your compliment.

“I really hope she has your eyes, Joe. And hair. And nose.” you coo. He chuckles at you as you settle in under his arm.

“Honestly, your nose would look wake cuter.” he replies with a grin. He boops your nose which you make a disapproving sound at, earning a laugh. He attacks you with kisses and you giggle and squeal at him. You finally catch him in a sweet, loving kiss and sigh into him. His body completely melts into yours.

After the affection fight dies down, you both turn your attention back to the movie, and Joe explains small pieces of trivia throughout the movie. Even if you’ve heard it all before, you love listening to him talk so passionately about his experience on set of one of the biggest blockbusters out there. It soothes you into drowsiness as you fight to keep your eyelids open. However, you can no longer fight it, and you drift off.

A few days later, you’re up once again. Joe is asleep beside you, snoring lightly. You wish you could just fall asleep, but your hips and back ache terribly. You’ve tried to ignore the pain in your lower body, but it’s all you can think about. Finally you decide, fuck it, and get out of bed for the umpteenth time tonight. You pace around quietly, taking deep breaths to keep yourself calm. You dare not glance at your phone, scared of what time it may be. However, curiosity gets the best of you and you switch on the screen.

3:47 AM. Fuck me gently with a chainsaw…

You grumble to yourself as you make your way into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. You lean against the granite counter, the coldness of the stone sending a shiver up your back. Looking over at the couch, you see your labor pack. It gives you some sense of relief. Just then, your hips contract violently. You grunt from the pain and sigh, counting the time between this one and the next.  About 10 minutes pass before the next contraction. You cock a brow and count again.

8 minutes.

6 minutes.

You take a few swigs of water, downing the bottle

5 minutes.

3 minutes. You make your way to the bedroom again and breathe.

2 minutes.

Oh it’ll be soon...

1 minute, 30 seconds….

Boom.

As if on cue, your water breaks, the fluid dripping down your legs. You probably should’ve woken up Joe already. Suddenly, your contractions become much more painful, you almost cry out. You begin to shake your husband violently.

“Joe, Joe, wake up. It happened. We need to get to the hospital. Joe please.” you ramble.

“Wh- Wha? (y/n). What’s going on?” he yawns, rubbing his face.

“T- The baby- It- She’s coming” Your frantic tone brings Joe to full alert and he is immediately up.

“Well- shit, okay, okay. I’ll get the pack and get the car ready. You okay?” he stammers.

“Do I look like I’m okay?!” You screech as another contraction rips through you. Are they supposed to be this painful? Joe nods in guilt at his question and runs down the hall and gets everything. You look down at your lap.

Is… there supposed to be this much blood?

Finally, Joe comes back to help you up. You cry out as you make your way to the car. Joe reminds you to breathe, which earns an exasperated groan from you. No fucking shit. He doesn’t seem to notice the blood stains on your sheets as you exit the room and make it to the car. Once in, Joe puts on a playlist you both compiled together called “Oh shit, (y/n)’s pregnant.” The first song that plays is Ariana Grande’s “Breathin”. You roll your eyes. Must’ve been one of Joe’s picks. Still it does remind you to breathe.

Luckily, there is almost no one on the road at this hour, so you can make it to the hospital fairly quickly. Though to you, it feels like an agonizing eternity. The whole time, Joe is assuring you that everything will be fine. You somewhat wish he’d just shut up and concentrate on driving, but you do also appreciate that he’s trying his best to be supportive.

The rest is a blur and suddenly you’re on the table, legs in stirrups with nurses telling you want to do. You squeeze Joe’s hand until it’s blue, crying out.

“Please, god give me more painkillers, something, anything!” you scream. The doctors disregard it, telling you you’re doing fine. However, one notices the abnormal amount of blood coming from your core. Your screaming breaks Joe's heart, but he kisses your sweaty temple no less.

“The fetus is in distress and there’s excess bleeding, we’re going to need to do a c-section.” one of the nurses barks.

“We need your permission to do the surgery.” One of the masked nurses looks at you. You bring a hand to your forehead, hair plastered to it, drenched in sweat. You cry out again.

“God, do whatever you need to do, just get her out of me!” you scream. Joe squeezes your hand and kisses your forehead.

“They’re gonna take good care of you. Both of you. I promise.” he assures you. You look at him through teary eyes and nod, choking back a sob.

“I love you.” you manage out between cries. Joe’s heart nearly shatters at your desperate tone.

“I love you too, (y/n). With that, the nurses take your bed into a surgery room, telling Joe to wait there. He clenches his jaw and fists as your writhing form is wheeled away. How could he just wait? He paces anxiously back and forth, scratching the back of his neck raw. He forces himself to lean against the counter and try to calm down. Still, he doesn’t shed a single tear, even while he’s completely alone. Though, a few do prick his eyes. He can’t even try to sit he is so tense. He continues to pace some more, still hoping and praying you’ll be okay. He thinks back to the day you first met in college. How he was in love with you the moment he laid eyes on you. To all those nights you both spent watching movies, the night you began dating, the day you moved in together… the night he asked you to marry him…. God you were so beautiful that day. You were always smiling in front of him, even on your worst days. Seeing the fear in your eyes when you went into surgery was enough to completely destroy him.

Please…. Please be okay.

At some point, he is told to vacate for one reason or another, so he goes into the waiting room. Still unable to sit down, he paces around the main area of the hospital. His mind is reeling, but he can’t exactly make out any thoughts. Just your name over and over again.

After an eternity, a woman calls over the intercom, “Joseph Mazzello to suite 531. Joseph Mazzello to suite 531.” Joe looks up from the floor and out the window. At this point, the sun is rising. He is exhausted from the night’s anxiety, as is evident from the dark bags under his eyes and dry mouth. Nevertheless, he rushes back to the suite.

“Joseph?” the nurse asks as he walks in.

“Is everything okay? Please tell me she’s okay.” he begs. The nurse bites her lip and opens the door for him.

“Come this way please.” is all she says. Joe’s eyes widen at her reaction.

“Is- is my wife okay!? Please, god, tell me she’s okay.” The nurse doesn’t reply, but her silence confirms complications. Dr. Fahmy is at the door with a solemn look. Joe’s heart is racing at this point.

“What’s going on? The nurse won’t tell me anything.” Joe pleads. Dr. Fahmy lays a hand on Joe’s shoulder.

“Your daughter was born, very healthy, but very large. The surgeons were able to get her out safely, but... “ Dr. Fahmy stops. Joe stood mouth agape, shaking violently.

“But WHAT?”

“There were several complications during surgery. I will spare details. I’m…. so sorry.

Joe’s entire world crashes around him as he stares blankly at the doctor. Fahmy licks his lips and clears his throat.

“Your daughter is currently in the nursery getting cleaned up and ready to take home. In the meantime, I will let you say your goodbyes.” he steps aside to allow Joe to enter. He walks in wordlessly. The air has a thickness to it and the silence bears heavily down on Joe, and he almost feels sick looking upon your corpse.Your form lays limp on the bed under a white sheet. Joe creeps over slowly to the bed and brings the sheet down just under your collarbone. Your eyes are shut with a bandage around your jaw, your cheeks are pale with streaks of tears still on them. Your hair is wild and drenched with leftover sweat. Nausea builds in his stomach as he looks over your lifeless structure. Somehow, despite your unruly look, you still remain absolutely peaceful- as if you were simply sleeping. Joe takes your hand out from under the sheet and holds it to his heart. His body is heavy. He brushes a shaky kiss on your knuckles, your hand still warm, even with the coldness of the hospital.

He lets go of it and it falls limply back down. This is the point that breaks him. Tears well up and fall like a dam breaking. Tears gush down his cheeks and-

He laughs.

He cackles maniacally as tears gush down his face. It’s just some sick joke. That’s all this is. Right? You’ll wake up any minute and say “ha ha, fooled you.” and you’d laugh about this in years to come when you tell the story.

No, no you’re gone, And as reality sets in, Joe collapses onto your stomach, choking out “I’m sorries” and “Oh, god, Oh (y/n)s” He snivels and clenches the sheets on the other side of your body, crying out, shaking violently. At some point, he gets up and desperately kisses your lips, praying that maybe you’d kiss back, but they’re cold, and you’re not coming back. He knows he doesn’t have a lot more time with you, so he just…. Talks to you.

“(y/n), I’m so sorry. I didn’t know this is what would happen.” he chokes out. “God, you’re such an amazing person, and I don’t know what I’m going to do without you… You’re my best friend- my soulmate- my everything.” he snivels. “I- I promise. I’m gonna be the best dad ever. You’re going to… to look down on us and say “wow. My… my husband and daughter are great together. What a team.” And… and we’re gonna make you proud. And she’s gonna grow up to be just the most amazing woman you’ve ever seen. And she’s…. She’s gonna make you proud.” Joe looks at your face one more time, new tears welling up in his eyes as he strokes your cooling cheek.

“You know...? I think you and my dad are gonna get along so well. He’s gonna.... he’s gonna love you. God, (y/n), I love you so much. I’m sorry…” he dissolves back into soft sobs, still hugging you close.

A few moments later, a nurse opens the door carefully. Joe shoots up and immediately wipes his tears, attempting to look as if he wasn’t just a mess a few minutes prior.

“Your… baby is ready for you if you’d like to see her.” the nurse speaks quietly. Joe looks at him, still shaking but nods. He looks at your face once more, giving your cheek a stroke and a kiss.

“I love you.” he says again before walking out with the nurse, leaving you in the darkness. The nurse attempts to make some conversation, likely unable to take the thick silence.

“So… do you have a name picked out?” he asks.

“Yeah, uh yeah we do… did? Yeah, she has a name.” Joe licks his lips, trying not to cry again.

“It’s gonna be okay, Mr. Mazzello. We’ll get things straightened out. We’ll call your home in a few days about an attorney.”

“Thanks.”

“No worries. Well, uhm. While I grab her, if you could fill out the papers, we can getchya out of here much faster.” he says awkwardly. Joe takes the papers from the nurse and files into another room to work. As he finishes the last of it, the nurse returns with baby in hand. Joe looks up at him blankly.

“Here she is. Little baby…” he trails off. Joe clears his throat.

“Josephine. Josephine is her name.” he replies

“Well now, say hi to your daddy, Ms. Josephine.” the nurse coos. Joe takes the infant in his hands and new tears well up in his eyes. She is a spitting image of you, with the exception of sharing his hair and eyes. Otherwise, it's you through and through. Joe stares at her in awe and holds her tightly to his chest.

“Could you… uhm. Give us a minute.” Joe says. The nurse nods and heads out. Joe turns Josephine over and she coos at him, much calmer that what she probably was before.

“Okay… Josephine Francis Mazzello…” he says. She smiles at him and attempts to make grabby hands at him. He smiles weakly at the baby girl.

“You’re pretty cute, you know that? Almost as cute as your mommy is.” he jokes. The mention of you sends an ache to his chest as he deflated slightly.

“... was. Right, you’re not gonna get to meet her.” he sighs. Josephine looks at him with confusion.

“It’s okay. You’re gonna get to know her through stories and photos. I have a million for you! Yes, I do!” he tells her, bouncing her very gently.

“We’re gonna make her proud,” he gives her a chaste kiss on the forehead. She giggles and grabs his face on either side of his cheeks, earning a smile from Joe.

“I promise.”

Taglist:

@littlemisscaptainfandom | @jiswoogannon

[voidselfshipp]

光のないオオカミ(Hikari no nai ōkami )

the wolf without light

Part 1

The end result is just like a copy of him,he keeps staring at it and before he knows it its night.

He closed the book leaving it on the shelf back upstairs,and then walks to his mistress room.

Hot Steam hits his face,oh right...she was taking a bath.

Thank god she was facing the wall.

Her head turns around to meet his gaze,smiling--Wolf, come and bathe with me, get that dirt off of you come on

--Mistress i--

--Wolf...I wasnt asking

The Man nodds quickly and she turns back to the wall.

Her smile widens as she feels the water disturbed as the Man joined her,both of their backs pressed against eachother.

--See how warm the water is?

--Its...relaxing...

--You deserve to rest my shinobi, --she turns around and her hands run up his back,massaging his tensed muscles.

The Man freezes and stiffens up.

--You okay wolf?is this uncomfortable?

--No mistress its just...im not used to it...

--I know people arent the sweetest with you wolf,but that doesnt mean that you dont deserve kindness...every wolf needs a ray of light to warm its fur in winter...now relax...

The Man takes a handfull of air and lets his shoulders fall loose,her hands untie the knots on his back, it feels nice.

After it he feels her head resting on his back,He could smell her hair, chamomile...

--Youre Cute without all that dirt on you wolf...

--Thank you mistress,you...you look ravishing every day...

She laughs,her chest rising as her head rests back on the Mans back-- thank you...

--What was so funny...if you dont mind me asking...mistress

--Sorry sorry...its just...cute thats all..!

Her arms loosely wrap around his waist and the Mans cheeks are tainted in blush--Thank you for helping me wolf...

--You dont need to thank me...--his hands holds hers,still with her arms around his waist--i should thank you...

His head turns to her, and those beautiful big eyes meet his.

--Do you mind facing me?--she asked.

He shakes his head and lets her hands go, he turns around.

Jimawari Crawls ontop of him as he rests his head on the pile of towels on the edge of the tub.

Jima's head rests on his chest, and his arms hug her tightly,not wanting to let go.

--Mistress?I have something to confess...

The water bubbles as a soft voice replies-- go ahead wolf...

--I have catched feelings for you...my mistress, youre kind...gentle and warm...you...youre the light for this old wolf...

The woman hugs Him tightly--Dear wolf why didnt you said so before?--She sits on his lap with happy tears forming on her eyes, as they fall the shinobis hand wipes them off planting a kiss on her forehead, then cuddling her to his chest.

--Its fate...

--it is indeed wolf...

Both get out of the tub,changing clothes and finally laying on the bed.

The Mans arms pulls the woman closer to him, sighing at the feeling of her breath on his skin.

--i desire to stay here with you mistress...or go back to our world and live togheter...I long for it mistress...

--i do too dear wolf...theres nothing else that I want more than live with you...

Both look at eachother and smile softly.

--then we Will...

And so as said as done.

The amulet was quickly recovered by the both of them,they worked amazingly well togheter, and no-one stood a chance.

Now as the winter air his them, the Realm before them dissapear in a ball of light.

Both walk hand in hand trough the streets,they had eachother and its all they needed.

Now in their home far away from the world both share a Cup of tea, under the spring and cherry blossoms,wolf unaware of jimawara drawing him..

--What are you doing mistress?

He asked,knowing full well what she was doing.

--Drawing the most handsome Man in my life...

She scoots closer and both lean in--who is the lucky Man ?

Both of their lips meet as the Man finishes saying those words.

--You dear wolf...

--Its sekiro...

--hmm?

--sekiro is my true name mistress

--Its beautiful like you...my true name is jerico...

--Jerico?a beautiful name mistress...just Like its possesor

Both chuckle and kiss again.

He wasnt a waste of a Man,he wasnt an animal lost in the darkness.

He was a wolf bathed in light.

The purest kind.

And its going to remain like that forever.

[butyouvealwaysbeenthecaretaker]

I've always wanted a garden. I think it speaks of permanence, planting something that will grow; and it makes me feel full-bodied, too, be it tending it or using things I've grown. This is the first year I've felt like I've "got" gardening as a skill. One thing that helps is where we are is very overgrown, in a pleasing way, and already has a lot of "structure" built in - so I'm adding plants, rather than trying to design a garden from scratch. Some of it is just experience, though: I'm getting better at noticing when plants are unhappy intuitively, or guessing well what work needs to be done for each. I've a little area of steps covered in planters, and two beds. I've counted: there are 15 plants that I've planted in the soil there, and another seven or so being raised indoors. Most of them survived since last year: a tree I grew from an apple from the store, parsley plants from the supermarket which I divided and have somehow survived; two lavenders which came all the way from London; and three "sea hollies" which are nothing of the sort, but they're pleasing so I'm letting them grow. My pea plants are the seeds of last years peas. This year, I'm raising mangetout and cabbage, spring onion, and as a challenge I have a pack of fancy gourds and squashes - decorative, for harvest at Halloween. The plant I most want to grow next is chamomile - I am a believer in the soporific properties of that herb; the trick is to use two tea bags, and let them steep forever. And I've found a space in my hedge which I'm clearing for a hawthorn. A tree is an investment, but in my mind it's not "for" me but for the garden and the sparrows who nest in our roof. We've got a hedgerow which the birds like, but it isn't native plants so a hawthorn in the gap will add more colour and food and ia additionally one of my very favourite trees. Most of all,I feel like I've finally got enough plants that my garden is nice to be in, and im building up one small bit at a time; and my skills are better too. The problem with gardening is the timescale: you find out in october if the spring's experiments worked well. But I feel like I'm over the first hurdle, if that makes sense. I love it out there. For the far future, I want to pull up some of the black plastic and sow a meadow; and I also want to build some things. Maybe a bird feeder or bird bath, or a fairy house, or a trellis round the gate. Even just a little hand-painted sign for the gate. Just to honour and hallow the space, you know? I keep getting caught out by the beauty of the lemon-balm's leaves.

[barberwitch]

Hello! I was wondering if you knew if hyacinth bulbs and roots can be used in flying ointments, or stuff like calla lily petals, larkspur blooms, snowdrop flowers, hydrangea flowers, non sambac Jasmine varieties, etc? I don't have anything traditional like belladonna or hellebore, but I'd like to make flying ointments and I was wondering if you knew If non traditional but toxic plants could be used as substitutes, or if it's just stuff like belladonna, datura, etc that can be used? Thank you

So give these two posts a look at the bottom. The first one clarifies what a Flying Ointment isn’t. I wouldn’t suggest using toxic ingredients you aren’t sure about. You need to research each of those ingredients individually. Formulating a Flying Ointment is both magic and science because if you do things wrong, there can be serious repercussions. When in doubt, less is more. When you don’t know, none is more.

Flying ointments have changed a fair amount from when they were first created because of science. We’ve taken out ingredients that, while powerful in their own right are too dangerous to put in an ointment. Wolfsbane was a common addition, it’s witchy, it’s powerful, has a rich history and connection to the land, and is so full of toxins it can kill within an hour. It was taken out.

The use of those “regular” Witching herbs is for a reason and that is the alkaloids (see the second post). Transdermal (through the skin) application prevents the body from absorbing the super dangerous chemicals. BUT THIS ISNT THE SAME FOR EVERY TOXIC PLANT. Just because it works for the nightshades doesn’t mean it would work with other toxic herbs and parts.

Additional research needs to be done on the parts of the plant you’re using. For example Datura.Whole thing is toxic, but each part has different concentrations.While you would think the root is the most toxic, it isn’t. Root and flower have the least amount of alkaloid toxins depending on the variety. Seeds and newly sprouted leaves have the highest concentrations.

The point of these ointments isn’t just putting poison on your skin, it’s these specific poisons that have predictable results. Some plants that are poisonous are just going to poison you.I can’t tell you if the examples you gave are viable options because my ointments are based on classical ingredients. So I researched those ingredients, their byproducts, interactions, chemicals, affects on neuropathways, side effects, toxicity levels, rate that body process them, if they are expelled from the body, or if they compound and a lot more…What you’re asking is not a classical flying ointment ingredient I’ve worked with so you’ve got some hard work ahead of you. If you plan on using those.

My advice, if you aren’t sure, don’t. Just buy an ointment from someone who knows what they’re doing, or practice making ritual salves like straight up mugwort or something like chamomile and rosemary. Don’t put yourself at risk because you want to do something others are doing.

https://barberwitch.tumblr.com/post/171203760856/hey-im-interested-in-making-my-own-flying

http://bringthegoodones.tumblr.com/post/170873115296/hello-just-curious-do-you-still-sell-your-flying

🦇Cheers, Barberwitch

Remember, not all poisons are equal. Not all poisons work the same. Not all poisons should be used.

[wholeworldwindow]

lobster theory?

OK SO LIKE COPY PASTED FROM DISCORD

i had an idea about telomerase and lobsters and prolonging the natural human lifespan and everyone was like OH WORM?so i looked into it and it turns out IM PROBABLY RIGHT theyre studying it right now and they think theyre close to getting into clinical trials

 telomerase is funny all we really need to do is constantly produce telomeres to prevent cell death. that CAN happen naturally but we call that cancer 

lobsters actually have that balanced somehow! so they NEVER DIE OF AGE they do die naturally tho. because they keep growing they eventually get too big and dieso if we used lobsters to learn how to balance ourselves we could double our lifespan 

that was my idea anyway.

 turns out its a little more complicated than that but the idea is the same! idk if theyre using lobsters though 

crustaceans are our medical friends we already use horseshoe crab blood for medications

 it’s not in there so meds are still. possibly vegan? (im not but. if you are. take meds anyway) 

but its used to check sterilizationthe crabs dont die either we just catch them drain some blood and release 

most medications are made from natural toxins. they’re specifically chosen to counteract the symptoms you exhibit!

 they are SUPER fine tuned tho so this doesnt mean liverwort will cure your liver disease even though the meds are made of italternative medicine... badunless it is 100% proven to worklike aloe for burns and lavender for sore throats and chamomile + jasmine for sleep? thats fine its just plant magicbut herbs to replace vaccines? ineffective 

science is just magic we understand!!!

course this does involve animal testing but im sure theres a way to keep the lobsters happy. biologists are into that

[boohooiamthefool]

thank you!!! I’m really excited too!!! ALSO!!! Haikyuu????? My Children??? catch me crying in the club, good post op. sorry for being so late btw- today was super crazy. my mom wanted to spend some time with me before I drove back to school! I’m also giving a bunch of questions before I go to bed in hopes it cheers you up a little more >:) bleedin heart, bell flower, daffodil, daisy, foxglove, waxflower, marigold, and poppy!! aaand 🍓 cause. u so. heckin. precious. and I love talking to you! - M

it’s fine but I did get a bit worried! I honestly love my blueberry boy, he’s so precious!! like you!! I love talking to you too!!!! 

send a 🍓 if you wanna be friends + a reason why!

bleeding heart: what makes you heart go mushy?

oof a lot of things like when im reading some fluff fics omllll 

bell flower: what’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?

All I need by Khai Dreams or Chasing Waves by Vista Kicks

daffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get?

a jade plant

daisy: what is your favorite flavor of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice?

I like the blue cotton candy, vanilla ice cream, and cranberry juice!

foxglove: what is your favorite color and in what shade?

I like blue, either royal blue or baby blue

waxflower: are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person?

i like honey bees! even though im allergic. I would say both but mostly dogs

marigold: what’s your favorite tea?

either green tea or chamomile

poppy: do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?

i like to dip my fries

[heatherwitch]

hi im planting an herb garden and i need plant suggestions. i have sage, basil, chives, dill, and rosemary so far. thanks!

I’m listing lots of things, don’t feel like you have to plant all of them! Even i don’t have all of these, this is more of a wish list :)

Thyme

Cilantro

Parsley

Oregano

Mint (in separate area)

Lemon Balm (in separate area) 

Tarragon

Chamomile

Catnip

Lavender

Feverfew

Fennel

Also could I recommend some flowers to plant in/near your herb garden?

Marigold

Calendula

Cosmos

Sweet Peas

Here’s a link to why adding these flowers can be beneficial! I always plant marigolds with my gardens.

[vampiresofabbeyroad]

im back

at least for now.

i figured that writing down some daily reflections would do me some good.

off day was spent doing wholesome activities like watering my plants, texting my friends, watching some interesting documentaries, baking brownies, reading and the likes. it wasn’t until the evening that i really got in touch with my emotions a bit - when my mom asked me to design some funeral shirts for my uncle who just passed away and someone texted me something that made me feel a bit “less than.” don’t get me wrong, that wasn’t the intention. my automatic emotional response was to just have an internal pity party. but i think i’ll be ok. i just need to wallow for a bit.

i have a lot of writing to do for work tomorrow. im not complaining. im very grateful to be doing what i love for a living - writing and social media - but i also need to remind myself that im more than my work. my idea of self should not and never be associated with something or someone. my passions exist outside of my value or worth as a person. i am independent of all those things - whether im liked or not, etc.

though sometimes im afraid that my very strong sense of self is hindering my ability to build any romantic relationships that require vulnerability. i know ive always been strong. it’s almost become my identity. but i long for moments of weakness, of admitting when i need help. this has been brought up to me by classmates and my teammates - i dont have to steer the boat alone. there are people willing to help. i’ve been thinking about going back to therapy. just to see how it feels like to be back. i just need objective advice right now. but im a bit iffy about doing it online.... even though it’s free. i also dont know if im willing to fork out cash for that.

all in all, i think im okay. i really am. it took me 2/3 of the lockdown to finally be at peace with staying at home. i cant imagine going back to my old routine, though i undoubtedly miss it. i had very different coping mechanisms. im sober for 2 weeks now - have replaced my usual alcoholic nightcap with chamomile tea and i feel great. i havent been doing that much yoga in a while, just really into hike more these days and thats okay.

im really glad to have very supportive friends by my side. i dont know how i wouldve survived this entire pandemic without them. i guess its safe to say that these friendships are the greatest romance of my life. this might change. but it’s what im feeling rn.

[themeltedheadaches]

ALL THE ASKS DO IT unless ur too busy #collegelife love u ❤❤❤❤

LOVE U BOO never too busy for u (also using this to procrastinate on my french composition so)

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

i eat my cereal………………….dry…………..

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

YES that’s literally my life now. i love it but also my nose was running today all the way to get coffee in downtown. i was in THREE LAYERS it is not even DECEMBER

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

answered! :)

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

if i’m going to be a bitch and just get plain coffee, i’m gonna get it black bc otherwise i’ll just have a white mocha or a cappuccino or something (the ppl at the campus coffeeshop know who i am. they know my order. “one sin-ful latte coming up!” thank u for fueling my Addition.) i take my tea with milk and sugar if it’s black tea ((earl gray)) or with honey if it’s green tea. if it’s white tea i’ll sometimes have it with sugar, and if it’s something like peppermint or lavender or chamomile i’ll just have it plain. IM A PICKY BITCH

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

i used to be! but now i like it. 

6: do you keep plants?

YES pls pray for them

7: do you name your plants?

answered! :)

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

poetry! i like to watercolor too, actually, though i left them at home :(

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

YES i miss my car bc that’s when i would have Prime Time to sing and hum to myself or along to whatever song i live for at the moment. (i’m into a musical rn and i can’t yell the lyrics out i’m so ANnoyed Always)

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

answered!

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

i have fucking countless at home……. at college there are quite a few too! as in: “hypothetically, vodka?,” “fuckinG,,,WHAT,” “[blow twice] [slurp sound] [tongue click] noice.,” “SHPEAKERSH OHN!,” “over there! like, over there? over there. over there?,” “just going to go kick some nutria,” and of course, the classic, “same, but jewish.” 

12: what’s your favorite planet?

URANUS actually tho it’s uranus. i had to do my planet project on it in the 4th grade and i gave my brother AND mother silent treatment for two days bc they laughed at its name. i’m very protective

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

i saw my favorite puppy on campus again today!! he’s grown so much!! also my poetry professor’s wife had a successful surgery! #GoMeredith 

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

SO MESSY………………….listen. @michelle i’ve seen ur room, and i would just accept that that is how we live now and it’s fine. it would also be aesthetic as fuck tho tbh. full of yarn and animal fur. and books. and junk food #RIFP

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

if saturn’s rings were a meter long, they would be 10000 times thinner than a razorblade! what the fuckkkkkkkkkkk

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

UHHHHH fucking;;;;;;;;what how am i supposed to #represent my italian fmaily with this DISGUSTING question,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, jk i fuckig love risotto, just ur basic bitch peas and cheese risotto and i’ll cry. also?? gnocchi!! holy shiiiiiiiit. 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

my hair has such good color i’d actually rather shave it all off than dye it :/

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

HHHHHHHH yesterday. LITERALLY yesterday. there was a french club meeting that served cheese and bread! so i took my Good Friend WIliam (who is not in french, unlike me), and we walk into the room, and i say “helLO!” bc that’s good manners, when you’re going to just get food and leave, and it’s dead silent. i get food and leave. william has told everyone in our entire hall twice.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

answered!

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

i’m so biased……….but……..brown………..

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

my brown leather one! it’s actually super fake leather and i got it from target!! but it’s cute and small and somehow fits everything i need to put in it, including 3 beers and my wallet and 2 phones last weekend. i’ve had for 4 years now 

22: are you a morning person?

yes! i like waking up early actually 

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

go on youtube and waste time, or walk around campus/downtown with friends, or shop!

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

yes

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my cousin’s RV

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

my brown leather boots! wow there’s a trend here lmao. actually i’ve had two pairs of these bc my first was falling apart?? i used them first in a cosplay……in the 7th grade………..(i was matt from death note and to this day i’m STILL not fucking ashamed, i had the wig and goggles and everything.) i love them and wear them all the time, they’re so comfy and warm and stylish and i feel like a hacker badass everytime i wear them. still to this day.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

bubblegum gives me hives i do Not enjoy it :(

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset!

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

one of my friends down the hall will call things/ppl “cute as pie” completely genuinely!! i love her!!

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

oh yeah

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

i fucking love them thanks end of story. wearing them makes me feel cozy and put together and also atm my dorm floor is Disgusting. i sleep with them when it’s cold and my feet are dry! i have so many fun socks it’s great. i love them. socks are highly underrated.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

my friend and i were driving around evERYWHRE basically, we went from pasadena/san marino to like. hollywood all the way to beverly hills and back and it was wonderful, we stopped 3 times to chase stray cats, take shitty pictures, go to iHop, and almost died several times bc hE SNAPS AND DRIVES at NIGHT on LA FREEWAYS

33: what’s your fave pastry?

croissants, followed by scones, followed by coffeecake 

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

bunny the stuffed bunny! she’s pretty large, like as long as my torso! she’s white fabric with colored fluffy bits and very floppy, loose ears. she has green button eyes that i had my grandma sew on bc otherwise she actually scared me a bit when i was a kid, but i loved her anyway bc my great-grandmother sewed her for me in the first place. bunny still lives on my bed at home! 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

YES! i ddon’t use them very often though bc i feel like i should save them for something. rip me

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

stromae hands down

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

clean….i’m so lazy tho

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

sudden loud noises, being startled, being touched physically when i don’t expect it, someone making assumptions about me, being dismissed, being told what i want or what i’m going to do, borrowing something of mine w/o telling me, being interrupted 

39: what color do you wear the most?

HONESTLY black bc i’m an emo bitch

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

one i’ve been wearing a lot is the fork ring i got from the portland saturday market! it’s literally the tines of a vintage fork separated from the part you hold, sanded down so it’s round, and looped into a ring shape. i fidget with it a lot and it reminds me of my mom and step-dad, bc i got it when i was with them. i wear it mostly everyday tbh

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

new american best friend by olivia gatwood in general, or thick as thieves by megan whalen turner when i re-read it out loud to my mom on the ride up to college

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

yeeeeeeS i have several! the bistro, which is on campus: it’s so comfortable, it has couches everywhere and board games and so many books and zines and the walls are half chalkboard so there’s always art or snark everywhere. the music is super eclectic (it was lorde yesterday, today when i went in it was old-school 90s rap), plus it’s student run so the coffee and pastries and food are SO GOOD. the archive, which is downtown, is really boujee as fuck but it’s SO COOL. it’s so fucking aesthetic, with brown leather stools and uncomfortable booths and vintage books and stuff everywhere. for half the day, it’s a coffeeshop, and after 7, it becomes a bar. then back home, of course, coffee bean and tea leaf is the classic

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

half my hall when we went star tripping at the start of the year!

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

honestly the last time it was genuine was probably around…….january? i was in so much emotional pain and grief, but i was surrounded by family who loved me and were in that same pain and were so happy i was with them to help and be there with them. i wasn’t serene per say, or at peace, but there was this equilibrium….

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yes!

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

my RA told me this one this morning: did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory in france this morning? de-brie everywhere! 

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

tomatoes 

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

spiders, YES

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i do…………………….. it was the soundtrack to romeo et juliette (2010)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

everything; stickers, pressed flowers, rocks, receipts 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

the easiest one is when i think of my roommate, davey the dog’s barking cover of “do the hustle”

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

ew

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no, yes, no, no, it was okay

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

ME, BITCH

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

chugged an an entire pitcher of water to prove i could, three times

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

genuineness! vulnerability! eye contact! fidgeting!

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

made me feel PUMPED, and of course i did

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

i am both

59: what’s your favorite myth?

uHHHHHHHHHH i love the myth of beowulf actually bc i had to do a project on it once, i have a soft spot for it, i love all myths tho wtf

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

YES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, recently some of my favorites are the entirety of a montage of a dream deferred by langston hughes, “totem sonnets” by sherman alexie, “on earth we’re briefly gorgeous” by ocean vuong, “one art” by elizabeth bishop

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

stupid gifts are nonexistent :/

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

noooo

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

yes lmao…….i kinda leave them be but i don’t like it if i let someone borrow them and they trash them uGH

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Pitch Black

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

YES

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

morning glories, lavender, baby’s breath!

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

very good, thankfully, bc i am in oregon

68: what’s winter like where you live?

in LA, it’s cold and sweet and late and breathless and i adore it

69: what are your favorite board games?

jenga, clue, ??

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

NONONONONO

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

peppermint for mornings, earl gray for evenings!

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

yes, sadly

73: what are some of your worst habits?

biting the skin around my fingers, bouncing my knees incessantly, procrastinating on my french compositions……

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

well there’s this amazing person who i met in freshman year german…….;)

75: tell us about your pets!

i WISH

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

yes :(

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink of course

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i am the true hateclub: i don’t react. do not give them power. they Feed off of your Hatred

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

get me flowers, surprise me with chocolate, come up to me and compliment me on my writing, etc!!

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

at home my walls are a soft orangey-peach, which is picked bc i love it. here, my walls are very very white, which i did not pick, but am neutral towards.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

circuit-board chips busted open

82: are/were you good in school?

ehhhhhhh

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

MELODRAMA

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

yes! a minimalistic double-delight rose for my great-grandmother, “love ya!” in my grandpa’s handwriting, maybe a nutshell with a crown over it (for the “king of infinite space” bit in hamllet), possibly “soyez réaliste, demandez l’impossible!” (be realistic, demand the impossible!) from the french student revolution in the 60s

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

somewhat, def hawkeye or the young avengers bc i’m basic :/

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

the only one i’ve rlly ever listened to is fucking danger days, so i worship them obviously

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

i think ppl should make their own agendas :/ however, i have deeply loved secondhand lions, up, moonlight, the grand budapest hotel, and other basic bitch things

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

impressionism!! aaaaaaa!!! also just shove me in front of abstract art and i’ll fall for it!!! 

89: are you close to your parents?

so so so so close to my mom and step-dad, on okay terms with my dad

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

listen to me. I LOVE SEATTLE. art! fish market! weird side streets! mean street art! bitchy coffee!! neon everywhere!! a big fuckin needle in the sky!

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

ITALY THIS SUMMER IM SO EXCITED i’m gonna meet all my mom’s friends from her semester abroad that she’s kept, i’m gonna see what she saw when she was my age, i’m gonna see where my dad’s family is from maybe if we go south???, i’m gonna see all the places and things she used to tell me about to get me to dream big and want to see the world and experience what’s out there!! aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

depends on the pasta

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

down bc i’m fucking lazy and also inept when it comes to doing things with hair

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

my friend across the hall from me, who is now 19 years of bitchiness!

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

stay in, study, maybe go to a kickback tho

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

lol i put them off until my computer ceases to function altogether 

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

zodiac obviously

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

fucking…….summer?? i did!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

“feelings” by hayley kiyoko, “vacation town” by the front bottoms, “february” by beach bunny, “hard feelings/loveless” by lorde, “moon river” by henri mancini, “let me in” by flor, “a million miles away” by the plimsoles, “girls like me” by bonnie hayes, “love my way” by the psychedelic furs, the entire legend of zelda soundtrack, “place, je passe” from the mozart l’opera rock soundtrack, etc etc