#but im going to fight you personally in a denny's parking lot

[elisedonut]

[lokittystuckinatree]

LCU (Loki Cinematic Universe) Rewatch Part Three here we come!

Thor: the Dark World

Oh Gods I forgot how…indescribable this movie is. I have no words. The outfits and settings look so real and the elves look so fake?

Me every time I see Loki: oOmMgGg Hiiiiiiiiiii 😘

“Mother did I make you proud?” And the whole way he handles this scene…How did anyone ever take him seriously - no wonder he went off the rails, that’s his greatest fear

“Do you not feel the gravity of your crimes” ok this is pure speculation but going off of what we know about Loki’s moral and emotional system - he’s capable of remorse and empathy, but he tends to compartmentalize and bury guilt and shame, repress and conceal his true feelings, and rationalize, minimize and justify his actions instead of accepting what he sees as weakness, so yes, I’d imagine that deep down he absolutely fucking feels it. And it don’t feel good.

Loki justifies his imperialism genocide and violence in an imperial genocidal militaristic society but the second he becomes king he decreases military intervention something something (one of the good bits of Ragnarok)

“I don’t enjoy hurting people” But Odin does. And so Loki pretends to.

BOOOOOO Odin no one likes you BOOOOOOO SCREW YOU

oMggg Sif hiiiiiii. Look at her, Thor. LOOK at her! With your eyes! She prettyyyyy

Odin and Thor: talking about Thor’s love life. Loki probably: rocking back in forth in his cell because no one’s ever gonna love him. Another Loki at the same time: chasing his soulmate across spacetime because she pulled a Loki on him and he finds that endearing

The sets and ambiance of Asgard are gorgeous how do I move there

Yet another obscure character I don’t remember, Darcy’s in the comics now I’m so proud, Selvig’s lost his last marble, so have I Selvig, so have I

The weird gravity/time space anomaly/warp thing in that abandoned building actually makes for a fun scene. You cannot change my mind on this. The Aether is pretty creepy though ngl.

Thor and Jane are so cringe together. I love them. They also break my heart

The plot of this movie is really…something

Loki and Frigga’s bond actually makes me teary I know they didn’t have the best relationship it was strained and toxic at times but omg they care about eachother so much I’m getting emotional…she genuinely was the only person Loki truly loved in a healthy way. And he fucking lost her. FUCK

Cut to me relating to Loki so much it makes me physically recoil. I’d get into why but I’m not trauma dumping today.

“I don’t know why Loki helped the dark elf get into the palace”…lol stop lying to yourself you know the reason very well. You have the same resentment and lust for chaos inside you that Loki does…that desperate grief that makes you want to burn down the world that burned you. you know. I see my worst in Loki, and his story gives me hope that I can change. There’s a good chance I will die young (medical shit) and Loki dying young also gives me comfort.

This movie is peak Loki. I just fucking adore the little shit. I just aahfhkjkmng *aggressively squeezes*

Heimdall is underrated

Someone on discord said Frigga autocorrected to Fridged on their phone and Frigga’s dying and that’s all I can think about rip…bruh this scene hits a lot harder after my dad’s death ✌️

HE WASNT EVEN ALLOWED AT HER FUCKING FUNERAL FUCK YOU ODIN DRINK BLEACH!!!!Anyways I forgot how cinematic and heartbreakingly beautiful the funeral was

YOU CAN SEE THE SPARK LEAVE HIS FUCKING EYES IM GONNA FIGHT ODIN IN A DENNYS PARKING LOT. I’m ending on the Loki illusion scene for tonight because it’s 3 am and I’m in emotional distress.

How can anyone watch the illusion scene and the deleted bits and actually believe Loki is a cold hearted psychopath? I have this fucked up headcanon that Loki almost attempted suicide after Frigga’s death and either stopped himself…or Thor showed up right on time. I can’t prove it but I know it’s true by gut instinct.

There’s something so weirdly profound about someone who seeks out death being unkillable. Character who thinks he represents death actually represents life. That’s something the Loki series actually did well. They definitely screwed up his character in places, but I can see the backbone of what they intended. I don’t know how to explain this, but I don’t ship Sylvie with TVA Loki, I ship her with Pre-Ragnarok Loki. Aka, I characterize TVA Loki as closer to OG Loki than he is thus far.

There’s a tiny detail about Loki that makes me go feral. You have to psychoanalyze a little, but Loki doubts his brother even cares about him, so whenever Thor says he feels betrayed and threatens him, Loki smiles. It means Thor cared. It means there’s hope. Negative attention is better than none at all. Disappointment is better than apathy. I wish I didn’t know how he feels.

[my-silly-rabbit]

IM GOING TO FIGHT WHOEVER SAYS YES. I WILL MEET YOU IN THE DENNY'S PARKING LOT!!!! FUCK YOU ONE PERSON!!!!

[cheesy-mak]

Incorrect quotes with the five villains!

Menendez: Bye Menèndez! Bye Rorke! Bye Adler! Bye Graves! Bye Menéndez!

Rorke: You said 'bye Menéndez' twice.

Makarov: I like Menéndez.

.

Makarov: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Menéndez: "Prettiest smile."

Rorke: "Nicest personality."

Adler: "Most likely to start a bar fight."

Graves: "Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one."

(new hc, adler and graves fight in bars occasionally /j)

.

Graves: Good morning.

Menéndez: Good morning.

Adler: Good morning.

Rorke: You all sound like robots! Try spicing it up a bit—

Makarov: GOOD MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

.

Makarov: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Rorke will and will not eat!

Menéndez: Grass? Yes.

Makarov: Moss? Yep.

Menéndez: Leaves? Yes!

Makarov: Shoelaces? Strangely, yes.

Menéndez: Worms? Occasionally.

Makarov: Rocks? Nope.

Menéndez: Twigs? Usually, for some reason.

Makarov: Graves's cooking? Inconclusive.

Adler: How did you two.. Test this?

Makarov: You just hand him stuff and say "eat this" and if he eats it, he eats it.

Adler: I, don't know how to feel about this.

Graves, VERY concerned: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT??

.

Graves: What does "take out" mean?

Rorke: Food!

Menèndez: Dating.

Adler: Murder.

Makarov: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Graves: Are we really going to let Menéndez keep Makarov?

Adler: We kept Rorke.

(hold on im getting vibes)

.

Menéndez: Poison is a magic transmutation that turns people into corpses.

Rorke: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Makarov: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel.

Adler: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Graves: What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Adler and Graves incorrect quotes, because I feel like these two could get along.

Graves, in a beach shirt: So sue me, and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!

Adler: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Because I've got your history right here on the sidebar.

Adler: Take it back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, TREAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET— What the FUCK happened to you?!

Graves, laughing his ass off: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS—

Adler: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED? DO I NEED TO GET AN EXORCIST?!

Adler: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND! WHO A R E YOU?!

Graves, crying and laughing: i ha d a c ase of the mon d a ys

.

Adler: Is something burning?

Graves: Just my love for you. (/j)

Adler: Graves, the toaster is on fire.

.

Adler: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Graves, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Graves: Hey, look, it's efficient!

Adler: No the FUCK it's not.

Adler: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Graves: Adler, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Graves: Are you an 'arr' pirate or a 'yo ho ho' pirate?

Adler: I'm a 'I'm not paying $600 for photoshop' pirate.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Dead Or Alive - Harry Styles

a/n: oof okay hello! this is a little different, i guess? but im very excited to share this with you! don’t ask me how i got the idea for this, no clue but it was stuck in my head for days before i finally gave in and started writing it. please share your thoughts and comments on it, i would love to read them!! hope you’ll enjoy it!

pairing: Wanted!Harry x BountyHunter!Reader

warning: violence, talks of drugs, murder, guns, i really lost track of it lol

word count: 15.2k

masterlist

The man in the handcuffs growls in pain again, but you just yank him forward, not in the mood to deal with a whining girl trapped in a six feet tall disgusting looking, oily-faced bald man in his forties.

“Y/N! What do we got today?” Jeremy greets you at the front desk, thumbs hooked into his belt as he watches you tug the guy into the hall of the station, pushing him down to the nearest seat as you step to Jeremy who is already handing you the paperwork.

“Dennis Delgado. Took me a few days to find him, but he couldn’t hide forever,” you grin proudly as you grab a pen and start filling the papers out.

Jeremy walks over to Dennis who just looks up at the officer in disgust. It’s not enough that he is a child molester disgusting prick, he is racist on top of everything and now Jeremy is enjoying having the higher ground, Dennis trapped in his handcuffs while Jeremy will be the one to get him behind bars for a long time.

“Nice one. We’ll have a lot of fun with this one,” Jeremy chuckles. “Want me to ring up your brother?”

“Is he in? Would love to have a word with him,” you nod smiling. When you’re done with the papers you hand them over to Stella, the receptionist who gets to work with them right away so you can get your money.

“Sure, I’ll get him for you on my way,” Jeremy nods, grabbing Dennis by his arm, pulling him along on his way to the elevators. “Come on you scumbag, you have a cell waiting with your name on it.”

The two of them disappear and you get into a little chit-chat with Stella while she is finishing up the paperwork. Leaning against the counter you look around, officers come and go in the hall, all of them dressed in their uniform and for a moment you picture yourself wearing the same outfit. At one point in your life it seemed to be part of your future, but now it would be the most ridiculous sight. Y/N, the best bounty hunter in the region in a police uniform? That’s not happening.

The elevator dings and your brother, Robert walks out. He on the other hand, made this vision happen. He has been an officer for about ten years now and though at first he was outraged that you chose the not so gracious lifestyle of a bounty hunter, but you soon became his unofficial partner, handing him over a wanted person every few days, making his work easier. Everyone at the station knows that Robert is the one who plays by the rules, doing everything according to the handbook, the perfect officer, always working to keep up the peace in town while you are… Well, you are a rebel. You could never play by the rules, always sneaking ways to do things according to your desires. You never liked if someone wanted to tell you what to do and how to do it, you are not a team player or either one that can easily managed by higher forces. It didn’t take long for you to realize your nature will never let you be an officer so you chose the other path that’s somewhere near joining the police, but still playing by your own rules.

Being a female bounty hunter wasn’t the easiest when you started off at the young age of seventeen. In desperate need of the extra money after the tragic passing of both your parents, the two of you had to get along on Robert’s slim, beginner paycheck. He was only twenty-three, started working at the station just a year prior, you knew you had to help him out. He kept bringing up cases, worked on them through the nights and when he passed you on the couch from exhaustion, you sneaked your way into the dining room and looked for easy targets. Speeding tickets, light drug trafficking, whatever you could deal with as a high schooler.

Robert hated the idea of you dealing with wanted people, you had endless fights about it, but you were too stubborn to stop and besides, you liked the adrenaline rush you got whenever you caught another one and brought them back to the station. Loved the stunned and shocked looks on the older officers when you managed to catch a bigger fish. It took Robert a few years to come to peace with your choice of lifestyle and now he doesn’t even try to talk you down. Instead, he keeps bringing you cases that pay well and he knows you’d like them.

“Who did you catch this time?” he grins at you, walking up to you and he envelopes you in a short hug.

“Just got Dennis Delgado, Jeremy took him.”

“Poor Dennis, he’ll have a rough evening,” Robert chuckles. “Did you get your money?”

“Stella is already working on it,” you nod towards the lady behind you.

“Oh, I’ve got you, Sweetheart,” Stella pushes herself back from her desk and walks over to you with an envelope filled with your reward.

“Amazing, thank you, Stella,” you grin at her happily. Dennis was worth a little more than the usual, you are well covered for the rest of the month thanks to him.

“Do you have something coming next?” Robert asks, hands on his hips as he watches you put the money away into your backpack.

“Not yet. Got something exciting for me?”

“An old friend,” he nods with a small smile. He reaches behind the counter and grabs a flyer, handing it over to you, a familiar face staring back at you from the photo this time.

Harry Styles is a name you’ve heard plenty of times and you know him well by now. You actually went to high school with him, you were just never in the same group. He was labeled as troubled all through his teenage years, his parents were brutally killed when he was just a kid, he was tossed around from one foster family to the other, moving around town every few months. It was no surprised when he got into some darker circles, he almost got kicked out of school right before graduation but somehow managed to stick around to get his diploma at the end.

You have actually handed him in a few times before. Never for anything bigger than drug trafficking or robbing smaller shops downtown, Harry is actually not as bad as people tend to portray him to be, he was just not blessed with the best background as most people. He is a smart guy and would never hurt anyone for real, this is why you are now staring down at his flyer shocked.

He is wanted for the murder of a local man who was found dead a few days ago in his home, Harry’s hair was found near the body with no other evidence.

“Are you sure about this?” you ask Robert with a concerned look. This doesn’t feel right. Not that you know Harry that well, but it’s very unlike him.

“Very much. His hair was the only thing we found near the body of Dave RIchards so evidently, he is our number one suspect.”

“I don’t know, this doesn’t sound right,” you think to yourself, staring down at the mug shot of him that was taken the last time you brought him in for selling weed to underage kids. You remember it exactly, because bringing Harry in is always… fun, if you could say that.

That last time, he was already expecting you, waiting around in his usual motel room that is somewhat considered as his home.

“My Y/N! You arrived earlier than I expected!” he greeted you when you kicked his door in. He was sitting in the middle of the double bed, rolling a joint as always, not a care in the world about your arrival.

“You knew I was coming?” you cocked your head to the side walking in and stopping at the end of the bed, watching him finish the joint and simply light it before taking a big puff.

“Of course. I was informed I’m on your list again, just thought you’d give me a few more hours, but it’s alright.” He waved around carelessly before holding out the joint in your way, offering you to try it.

“No thanks, I don’t trust your sketchy stuff.”

“That hurt!” he gasped dramatically, placing a hand to his tattooed chest that was partially on display since his shirts are never buttoned all the way up.

You brought him in that day, stopping for McDonald’s on your way to the station before handing him over to Robert. He was actually a great guy, nice sense of humor and good looks, you never thought otherwise, he was just moving around in different circles than you so you were left with the few jokes he always cracked when you took him in every few months.

“Well, it’s not your job to question his innocence. Want to take the job or not?” Robert asks you.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll find him,” you nod and fold the flyer, sliding it into your back pocket.

Normally, you take the rest of the day for yourself after turning someone in, but this situation with Harry just bugs you way more than to just go home and pretend like it’s not all you can think about. Harry is not a murderer, he would never randomly kill a man, he is not a psycho, just a guy with a rough background and some poor life decisions.

You know the route to the motel like the back of your hand. Arriving to the dodgy parking lot you park your car in the far end before taking one last look at the flyer. Then you push it into your backpack and get out, heading to Harry’s room with firm steps. You see no lights on, the door is closed and you almost don’t even get closer, thinking he is not here when you see someone move around inside.

You are almost at the door when a hand covers your mouth and an arm wraps around your body, pulling you back forcefully. It takes you a moment to recover from the shock as you are yanked backwards, but as you are being dragged towards the alleyway next to the motel you elbow your attacker in the stomach before kicking them in the knees. The hands fall from around you and turning around you pull out your pocket knife, ready to cut throats right away, but you are shocked to see Harry hunched over, groaning in pain as he holds his arm to his stomach.

“The fuck, Y/N?!” he growls, his chocolate curls falling forward, they’ve definitely gotten longer since the last time you saw him, he could easily put them up into a bun now. “What was that for?” he whispers in disbelief, his green eyes meeting yours in a scowl.

“What the fuck do you mean? You attacked me!”

“I didn’t attack you, I was trying to fucking save you!”

“From what?!”

“From the fucking asshole in my room who is four times bigger than you and would have probably shot you the moment you kicked my door in like you always fucking do!”

It’s just now processing in you that if Harry is here, the person you saw in the room can’t be him and he surely looked bulky. Harry runs his hand through his hair, straightening up from his hunched position before he sighs tiredly. He looks… worn-out, even more than he usually does. The dark circles under his eyes and beat-up knuckles are new, he usually looks fine despite everything that goes on in his life, but this is a version of him you haven’t seen. He has definitely been through some shit lately.

“What are you doin—“

“No time for questions now, we have to get out of here,” he cuts you off, grabbing your hand and pulling you through the alleyway to another parking lot on the other side of the motel. You spot his old jeep right away, but you yank your hand out of his hold, stopping in your tracks.

“Wait, my car is there!”

“We’ll come back for that later, but they can’t find you here with me or they’ll be after you as well,” he explains, grabbing your hand again as he pulls you towards the car and this time you follow him blindly.

You get into his jeep without even questioning it, not even caring that he is a man who is currently wanted for murder. Your instinct is telling you that you’re completely fine with him and you believe it. The two of you head out of town, taking the route to the next town nearby, but he takes a turn to the left, the jeep rolling onto a dirty road leading along fields filled with wildflowers. You have a guess where you’re going, there are some abandoned cabins near the woods that used to function as vacation homes, but they were slowly left to stand empty for eternity when a luxury resort was built on the other side of the woods.

“Care to tell me what the fuck just happened?” you ask him calmly, turning to look at him. He has one hand on the wheel, while his other elbow is resting on the armrest, fingers tapping on his chapped, pink lips.

“I’m in… deep shit, Y/N,” he admits with a sigh, eyes glued to the road ahead of him.

“No shit, you killed someone?”

“I didn’t,” he states, his eyes meeting yours for a moment to emphasize his truth. “It was a fucking set up and now they are after me every way possible.”

“Who is? And what did you do to get into so much trouble?”

“I’ll tell you about it when we arrive, okay?”

You sit in silence for the rest of the ride until you finally arrive to the cabins. You follow Harry inside one of them and it seems like he has set his base up here a few days ago. There’s a double bed with blankets thrown over it and a few mismatched pillows, a sports bag with his clothes and a few grocery bags on the dusty kitchen counter, candles everywhere since there’s probably no power in the cabin. You wonder how long he has been camping out here.

“About a week ago I got a visit from Hugo McKain, you’ve heard about him?” he asks as he grabs a bottled water from one of the grocery bags and fills up two plastic cups, handing you one of them.

“Sure. I’ve heard that… he is a big fish,” you nod.

“Yeah. He wanted me to work for him, but I sincerely rejected the offer, however it didn’t sit well with him. He threatened me that if I’m not selling his stuff, then I won’t sell anyone else’s stuff,” he explains, walking over to the bed and he sits at the edge, staring at the cup in his hands. “He gave me another day to change my mind, but I said that I don’t want to get involved with any of the heavy shit he deals with. I was hoping he would just willing to forget about it, but apparently, he is not the kind to just let shit go,” he chuckles bitterly. “A few days ago he sent two of his men after me, but I was able to run away. I was ready to pack my shit up and just leave the state forever, but then the fucking asshole framed me for the murder of that guy. A friend called me to let me know that I’m the only suspect in the case and that my face has been sent out already everywhere in the state. Hugo made it impossible for me to leave, I would be caught the moment I stop to pump fucking gas in my car,” he growls in annoyance. “So it’s a whole shit show, the police and Hugo are after me and I’m fucking stuck here.”

You stand there at a complete loss of words, because though you have no evidence if he is telling you the truth, you just know he is and the situation is fucking miserable. Harry drinks his water and throws the cup into a plastic bag that serves as a trashcan, his fingers running through his hair nervously.

“Do you know who killed the guy?” you speak up after some silence.

“Yeah, one of his men called Axel, he is a proper idiot, I’m actually surprised he didn’t leave his DNA back, just mine,” Harry scoffs.

“If you know they are after you, what were you doing at the motel?” you ask, leaning against the wall, curiously eyeing him as he glances up at you.

“Knew you’d come after me, didn’t want them to pull you into this mess too.”

Your eyebrows rise at his words. He went back because of you? Harry notices your surprise, a smug smirk tugging on his lips.

“What? Couldn’t let them lay a finger on my Y/N, right?”

You can’t help but roll your eyes at him. He has always been so flirty with you since day one, always trying to pull your leg, chatting your ears off in hopes that he can finally drag you to bed one day. But you never give in, it all stays just some empty flirting and a playful banter.

“So what are you going to do now?” you ask clearing your throat. There’s just always been something in the way he calls you his Y/N that makes you a tad bit nervous.

“That’s an excellent question to which… I have no answer,” he truthfully admits.

“You can’t hide here forever.”

“You tryna’ lure me into going to the station with you?” he asks with a grin. “To be honest, I’m surprised you haven’t cuffed me yet. You love that stuff, don’t you?” Harry stands from the bed and strides over to you, the height difference between the two of you forcing you to tilt your head up a little as he smirks down at you, enjoying that he has successfully made you blush. “Question is, have you been the one in the cuffs?”

You part your lips with the intention of answering, but nothing comes out. Harry smirks down at you, so full of himself before stepping away.

“Anyway, I think I’m just gonna lay low here for a while and then hopefully I’ll be able to sneak out of town at one point.”

“You wanna stay here?” you ask looking around. The place is fine for just a few nomad days, but staying here for more seems impossible. There’s no electricity, probably no water, some of the windows are broken in, the temperature must drop drastically in the nights so close to the woods.

“Not that I have any other choices,” he huffs, opening a bag of chips from the groceries.

“Don’t you have any friends who can share their couch with you for a while?”

“You think anyone would want to hide a dude who is wanted for murder and who is also in trouble with Hugo McKain? Baby, even if any of my friends were willing to help, I wouldn’t take it. I wouldn’t want to pull them into my shit. Besides, Hugo is probably already keeping tabs of all my friends, he has the connections to know everything about me.”

“And what about me?” you suddenly ask. Harry freezes, eyes flickering at you in confusion.

“What about you?”

“Would he look for you at mine?”

Now it’s his turn to rock a stunned expression, eyebrows shooting up as he stares back at you. He wasn’t expecting it, but truth is neither did you. However it doesn’t take him long to turn it into something entirely sexual.

“You know, if you wanted to see me in your bed, you should have just asked.”

Luckily, you don’t fall under his spell this time. Rolling your eyes you put the cup to the nearest surface and head to the door.

“Alright, changed my mind. Have fun camping out here on your own,” you mumble, reaching for the doorknob, but he is quick to get between you and the door, stopping you from leaving.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I was just not expecting you to make that offer, alright?” You take a step back, folding your arms on your chest. “Were you serious about that?”

“It seemed like an option. I doubt you’d be expected to be at my place.”

“And you’d actually let me stay there?”

“I guess a few days wouldn’t hurt. Until you figure out what to do.”

Harry stares at you in awe, like you just did the best thing ever for him and the thought that he never had anyone to do such favor for him is kind of heartbreaking. He might be a pain in the ass sometimes, but there’s just something in him.

You help him pack his stuff back into the jeep, leaving the weathered cabin empty again before you head back to town. Harry drops you off a few blocks from the motel so you can walk back to your car, you glance at his door just once, it’s still closed but they could easily still be there.

Harry is already at your place when you arrive to your building, waiting around in his jeep, he has put a beanie and sunglasses on, keeping his head low. As he follows you up to your little apartment, you actually realize that Harry is about to move in with you for the upcoming days, he is going to live in your place, you’ll share your home with him. How crazy does that sound?

Unlocking the door you walk into your small apartment. It’s just the perfect size for one person, a decent kitchen with a small dining table, a living room that also functions as your study, your desk filled with folders and flyers from previous works. Then you have a little bedroom and a bathroom opening from the living room. It’s cozy and homey, but definitely not the setting you would have ever imagined Harry in.

“So, the couch is a pull out, I’ll get you a blanket and a pillow, make yourself… home I guess,” you tell him walking into your bedroom to get him everything he needs. However, he is following you into the room, already snooping around in your private little space.

As you grab him a blanket and pillow, you find him inspecting your clutters on top of your dresser, your jewelry, perfumes and makeup stuff is just thrown out there, and he seemingly takes an interest in your rings.

“Never seen you wear any jewelry,” he huffs as you walk up to him.

“Don’t like them on me that much,” you admit. “Here,” you give them the bedding and usher him out of the bedroom before he gets way too adventurous and starts digging into your lingerie drawers.

When the pullout is all set up and Harry has settled in a little, you are faced with the fact once again, that Harry is in your home and about to spend the upcoming days here with you, since he can’t really roam around the streets.

You make sandwiches for the two of you and sit at the small dining table, eating in silence until you speak up.

“I can ask my brother to help find the guy who did it. There has to be a way to get you out of this.”

Harry glances at you, chewing on his food before putting the sandwich down, swallowing the bite.

“Not really if they don’t find evidence.”

“I’m sure we’ll find something.”

“We?” he smirks at you playfully, earning a blush from you again. You hate the effect he has on you, he is clearly a good-looking guy, you always thought that, even in high school. Thanks to his troubled name, girls easily fall for his bad guy behavior, they just never really saw that being a so called bad guy wasn’t just about the looks, with a slightly similar background you could imagine how hard it really was for him. Though he never really let it show. He is always this whitty, cocky bastard who is ready to flirt his way into your pants whenever the opportunity is given.

“If you keep up with the teasing you’ll find yourself on the street one morning,” you warn him and he just holds his hands up with a smug grin.

“You are the boss lady here,” she chuckles softly before returning to his sandwich.

For the rest of the evening you bury yourself into some other work stuff, you always have a few smaller gigs going on that are easy money, Harry in the meanwhile makes himself comfortable on the couch, watching your tiny TV in silence, letting you do your thing. It’s nearing midnight when you wrap it up and head to have a quick shower. Standing under the hot water you take a few minutes to collect your thoughts and just simply try to get used to the thought that you are in fact hiding a man who is wanted for murder. It’s going to be some pretty interesting days you have ahead of you, that is for sure.

Putting on your oversized t-shirt and cotton shorts you leave a clean towel on the counter for Harry in case he doesn’t have one before heading out.

“Towel is on the counter. Sorry, I don’t have shower gel for men, but the soap is unscented so feel free to use,” you tell him walking out, only to find him already waiting around the door, leaning against the wall. His eyes fall down the length of your uncovered leg, a smirk tugging on his lips.

“If you’re the kind who sleeps naked, feel free to get rid of the textile.”

“Are you a naked sleeper?” you ask tilting your head to the side.

“I can be, if you want me to be,” he grins smugly and you just roll your eyes at him.

“Good night, Harry,” you sigh walking into your bedroom and shutting the door behind you, only allowing yourself to let out a shaky sigh when you are out of his sight. Leaning against the door you hear him shuffling around until the bathroom door closes and the water starts running. You try your best to ignore the thought of Harry currently in your shower naked as you climb to bed and pull the covers over your head. You need the coverage, hopefully it’ll help you with your wandering thoughts.

“Thought you’d deliver Styles by now,” Robert teases you when he meets you at the station the next day. You left Harry at your place, sincerely asking not to trash your home while you’re away and headed to the police station in hopes that your brother might be able to help him out.

“Uh, no. But actually, he is the reason why I’m here,” you tell him with a nervous chuckle.

“What? Did he hurt you or something?”

“No, nothing like that. Can we please talk in your office?” you ask and he nods, leading you up to his office.

Once the two of you are settled and secluded from the rest of the officers, you just decide to start right in the middle and not waste your time beating around the bush.

“Harry didn’t do it. He was framed.”

Robert gives you a surprised look as he leans back in his seat on the other side of his desk. He thinks about your words furrowing his eyebrows before scratching his neck.

“How… do you know that?”

“I just know. He is being framed by Hugo McKain, it was one of his men who killed the guy, not Harry.”

“I have a feeling that your source about this was none other than Harry himself.”

“Does it matter?”

“It does, because of course he would try to defend himself!”

“Harry is not a murderer, Robert,” you snap. “He always owns up to his mistakes and he would never do anything to hurt others. Yes, he is troubled and did a lot of illegal shit in his life, but never anything that could hurt others. He became a target because he didn’t want to join Hugo.”

Robert stares at you for a while, probably trying to figure out whether he should believe you or not. You knew he’d be skeptical, but you can only hope he trusts you enough to help you out in this one case.

“And what do you expect me to do?” he asks after a while.

“He knows the name of the guy. Axel something, can you get someone on his case? Look into the evidence more? Something might come up that could help Harry out of this mess.”

Robert’s jaw clenches as he stares back at you, contemplating his choices but something is telling you he is already in. You won him over.

“I’ll have Jake look into it, I think I know who this Axel guy is.”

“Thank you, Robert!” you cheer in excitement. Jumping from your seat you go around his desk and hug him from behind, kissing his cheek as he tries to escape your embrace. He hates it when you get all affectionate at his work, but you just had to. You head to the door to get out of his hair before he changes his mind, but he stops you before you could leave.

“Y/N, just please be careful with Styles, okay?”

“He is not as bad as people make him sound.”

“I just don’t want him to get you into trouble. There’s only so much I can do to save your ass.” “Don’t worry,” you smile at him softly. “I’ll be alright.”

The rest of the day goes by with catching some stupid guy who was wanted for trying to rob a gas station while drunk, it’s a mystery how he was able to run away, you saw the security footage, the guy was barely standing on his feet, but lucky for you, he is in the exact same state when you surprise him at a bar and bring him in.

It’s past seven when you finally get home. Keying yourself into the apartment you are met with a quite pleasant sight. Harry has pushed the pullout in to make some space in the cramped living room and as you step inside, you are met with the sight of him doing pushups in the middle of the room, no shirt on, just a pair of loose shorts, all his tattoos are on display, a thin layer of sweat covering his body, his curls are held back with a headband. When he hears you arrive, his head shoots up and smirks in your way before doing a few more and then he stops, standing up just as you shut the front door.

“Welcome home, Honey,” he winks in your way and you just roll your eyes at him.

“Turning my living room into your personal gym, huh?”

“I can’t just sit around all day, waiting for you to get home, can I?”

“You can always just fix up my apartment while I’m gone,” you joke chuckling. Setting your bag down on your bed you join him in the kitchen where he is sipping on some water. “Anyway, I have good news for you. My brother said he’ll have one of his guys look into the case. I’m sure he’ll check after this Axel dude you mentioned.”

“That’s great! I’ve also been asking around today, some of my friends said they will try to dig up some dirt that might help me out, but I don’t want any of them to get too deep and then have Hugo go after them too.”

“It’ll be fine,” you nod, convinced that things will turn out well. “Alright, I’ll throw something together for dinner, what—“

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I already ordered, should be here soon.”

“You ordered food?” you ask in surprise.

“Of course. I won’t just eat your fridge out, dinners are on me while I’m here,” he smiles genuinely and you’re stunned by the gesture.

Half an hour later the two of you are sitting on the living room floor, Chinese takeout boxes littering the place around you, having a full on feast because Harry didn’t go light on the order.

“So, tell me, what have you been doing since high school?” he prompts the question. “I feel like I know you but I also don’t. Don’t get me wrong, being handcuffed by you every other month is fucking hot, but I don’t know much about you.”

“There’s not much to know,” you shrug. “I’ve been doing this since I was seventeen, no grandiose career.”

“But did you have any other plans before?”

“Thought about joining the police, but I was never tame enough to follow their rules.”

“Ooh, a little rebel?” he teases you and you throw a handful of napkins in his way, making him laugh.

“You can joke about it, but I’ve had my fair share of trouble as well, you are not the only one who’s been through some rough years.”

“I know that,” he nods, eyes getting serious for a moment. “I’m sorry about your parents.”

“You know about them?” you ask in surprise. You didn’t really share it with anyone, talking about the loss of them just made it harder to deal with it and you also didn’t want everyone’s petty.

“You just know about this kind of stuff when you grow up in foster care. Though you were lucky your brother was already of age.”

“I know. I’m convinced I wouldn’t be here if I had to go into foster care.” Putting down the box from your hands you look at Harry. “I’m sorry you had to deal with all that.”

“Not that it was any of your fault,” he smiles softly, but you can see the pain in his green eyes. Despite not knowing him well growing up, you always felt this weird urge to tell him how sorry you were for everything he had to deal with. He deserved a better childhood and teenage years and most importantly, respect from people. Everyone just labeled him as a lost case because of his background, but no one really tried to help him. Part of you feels guilty, because you could have helped through those years, but you were a little frightened from him as well, believing the rumors and talks about him, though now you know they were probably just stupid gossips.

Harry reaches into your box, stealing a dumpling and you snap on his hand, but he just pops it into his mouth grinning slyly.

“Hey! You have your own!” you tell him off.

“I know, but yours just tastes better.”

“You are such a pest,” you roll your eyes at him as you grab your box and start eating again.

“So, what does your boyfriend think about me being here?” he asks out of nowhere, but you see through his act. It’s his sneaky way of trying to get you to say if you’re single or not, probably already knowing the answer to that, but you choose to pull his leg a little.

“He is fine. Though you might have to plug your ears in a little when he comes over,” you tell him with a straight face and see his fall, a stunned expression on his handsome face.

“Wait, really? You have a boyfriend and told him about me being here?”

“Sure, why wouldn’t I?”

It’s hard not to start laughing, especially when the words process and he realizes that you are in fact taken. The flirty, teasing act is long gone, he presses his lips together nodding to himself as he continues to eat in silence.

“I’m just fucking with you, I don’t have a boyfriend,” you tell him at last, finally letting out a laugh. His eyes snap up at you and a smirk slowly tugs at his lips as he points a finger at you.

“You had me for a hot minute. Nice one.”

“Why were you so surprised when I said I have a boyfriend?” you ask tilting your head to the side.

“Guess the thought was just a little weird, I’ve never seen you with a guy before.”

“That doesn’t mean I’ve never been with any,” you point out, furrowing your eyebrows.

“Oh, I know. I never thought you are pretending to be a nun,” he snorts.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you gasp, feeling like it was a subtle way to call you some sort of slut. Harry looks up at your upset expression and he immediately knows how his words were taken.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” he defends himself.

“Then how did you mean it?”

“I meant that I always thought a girl as pretty as you must have plenty of guys after her.”

Your eyebrows shoot up at how bluntly he just called you pretty. It had a refreshing sound after all the shameless flirting he has been doing when it came to you, and your poor little heart immediately skipped a beat upon hearing his words.

“Well, I didn’t have,” you admit with a sad smile. You briefly dated a guy from another school in tenth grade, but after that, your life was just way too complicated to get involved in a relationship and you haven’t really been able to change that even years later. When you’re very keen on some intimacy you go to a nearby bar and just let whatever man to pick you up and have for the night, but that doesn’t happen too often either, because it seems useless most of the time, you can do the job yourself just fine too, you don’t need some random man to call you his babygirl when he doesn’t even know your name. Some never even bother to finish you, they pass out once they got what they wanted so you prefer being on your own.

“Fucking losers!” Harry huffs dramatically. “They have no idea what’s good.”

“You don’t need to say that just to make me feel better,” you roll your eyes at him, but you can feel yourself blushing.

“I’m not, I was always crushing on you a little in high school, if I’m being honest,” he admits truthfully, managing to surprise you once again.

“For real?”

“Sure,” he nods, turning his focus back to his food as he continues to talk. “Even thought about asking you out to prom one time. But I figured you might not even know who I am.”

“Come on, everyone knew who you were!”

“Are you telling me off for being humble?” he asks grinning. “Okay, let me rephrase it. I didn’t know if you wanted anything to do with me after hearing stuff about me, so I just dodged the idea.”

You chew on his words a little before looking up at him, eyes meeting his green irises, though you are usually not one to get in on the flirting, now you just feel like being a little blunt.

“Well, I always thought you were good-looking.”

“Were? Am I not good-looking anymore?” he teases with a dramatic gasp that makes you roll your eyes.

“Well, the smugness takes a bit away from it, if I’m being honest,” you tell him off making him laugh.

Once you both are well fed you clean the boxes up together, you wash the few extra plates you used while Harry dries them off and puts them away. Opening one of the cabinets he moves the door a bit, examining how it hangs a little low.

“I always forget to fix it up,” you sigh. There’s quite a few things that could use some work, but you just never get to start on them so they are always put aside.

You take your turns in the bathroom as usual and you sit at your desk a little, working on a few stuff before calling it a night. Harry is already lying in his temporary bed on the pullout, scrolling through his phone. The covers hide only half of his body, his naked, tattooed chest is on display, one of his arms is tucked under his head, the muscles on his arm flexing just right. He surely is a sight, you can’t deny that.

“Seeing something you like?” His voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you realize you’ve been caught staring. Clearing your throat you stack up the papers on your desk and head into your bedroom.

“Good night, Harry,” you mumble, feeling your cheeks heating up.

“Sweet dreams, Y/N,” he calls after you before you click the door closed.

The next day you go with your usual routine, Robert checks in with you letting you know he already has someone on Harry’s case, so there’s not much you can do for now, only hope that something will surface that can help him out of this mess. Throughout the day you often catch yourself thinking about what Harry could be doing at home all day and you pray to all higher powers he is not currently snooping through your lingerie.

It’s a frustrating day, you couldn’t find the guy you’ve been after but you were really hoping to finally get the money for him. He is big money, but he makes you work for it certainly. When you arrive home Harry is nowhere to be seen, but then you hear the shower running so you figure he must have just been working out and is now taking a shower. Two pizza boxes are set on the dining table and you sigh in relief that you don’t have to think about cooking with him around. Going to the kitchen you are about to grab two plates when you notice that the cupboard door that’s been hanging low a little is now fixed. It’s as new as it never was since you’ve been living here and it gets you wondering if anything else has been taken care of. Going through the kitchen you start to realize that all the little things that’s been waiting to be fixed are now working perfectly: the handle on one of the drawers, the loose tap, the shelf that’s been crooked for a while, it’s all perfect now.

The bathroom door opens and Harry walks out wearing a pair of black sweatpants, his hair is wet and he has a towel hanging from around his neck.

“Oh, hey. Didn’t hear you arrive,” he breathes out throwing the towel to the back of one of the chairs around the dining table.

“Just arrived a few minutes ago. Hey, did you fix my kitchen?” you ask furrowing your eyebrows at him.

“Uh, yeah. Took a look at the stuff that seemed off. Also fixed the shoe rack near the door and the hangers in the bathroom.”

“Oh wow. You really shouldn’t have.”

“Didn’t you tell me to fix the place up while being here?” he teases you with a smirk as he leans against the table.

“That was just a joke.”

“I know,” he chuckles softly. “But I really didn’t have much to do today so I thought I might make myself useful.”

“That’s… actually very nice of you. Thank you.”

“No worries.”

“So how was your day?” Harry asks as the two of you are chewing on the pizza, sitting at the dining table.

“Why are you making small talk like we’re a married couple?” you scrunch your nose, taking another bite from your slice.

“What, I can’t be nice?”

“You can, it’s just you are usually not,” you point out.

“Or you are just never around when I decide to be nice,” he grins. “You usually just burst into my place, handcuff me and then bring me in. That doesn’t give much time to be nice.”

“I wouldn’t cuff you if you didn’t try to run away the first time I wanted to bring you in,” you retort shrugging.

“Okay, first of all, I was not expecting you to just kick my door in and have a fucking knife pointed at my throat, of course I tried to escape! And second, I quite enjoy being handcuffed by you, so I guess it’s not that bad.”

That smug smirk is back on his lips again and you wish you could just wipe it off sometimes. He is so full of himself!

“You are always coming with this cuffing thing. Get a hold of your kinks, Styles.”

“You can’t tell me it doesn’t turn you on. I bet you’d like that, if you haven’t already been cuffed in the bedroom,” he snorts, taking a big bite, the sauce dripping a bit from the corner of his mouth that he wipes with the back of his hand.

“My kinks are none of your concerns,” you sternly reply, but it just makes his grin wider.

“Oh, so you do have kinks! Tell me more about them!”

“Well what are yours?” you retort, hoping it would shut him up, but it has the opposite effect on him. Leaning back he swallows the food in his mouth before starting the list.

“Well I do love getting handcuffed, I’m into spanking, both ways. I have a weird thing for—“

“Alright! I’ve heard enough!” you cut him off. “Stop, just… stop,” you breathe out.

“What?” Harry chuckles, clearly enjoying the situation more than you’d want him to. “Don’t tell me you’re too prude to talk about sex.”

“I’m not,” you answer right away.

“Okay, then tell me about your kinks!” he teases you some more. Snapping your eyes at him you can tell how much he is enjoying making you so uncomfortable, but you also know that he thinks he’ll just make you blush and you won’t tell him a thing. So you decide to give him his own medicine.

“I do in fact like to be handcuffed, I love a good spanking, when my ass cheeks turn red from the slaps, that makes me cum very hard. I love a good old choking and I particularly enjoy giving blowjobs because I don’t have a gagging reflex, makes men go fucking nuts when I have them down my throat to the last inch, I get off their reaction easily.”

Harry’s lips part as he stares at you with a stunned expression, he definitely did not expect that answer, or any answer at all. That face alone makes up for the slight anxiety that took over you talking about what you really enjoy in the bedroom. Your eyes wander down and a triumphant smirk tugs on your lips.

“Don’t be such a horny teenager, I can see your dick getting hard,” you tell him before flipping the pizza box closed and walking into the kitchen you put the remaining of it into the fridge.

“You are such a tease, Y/N,” he shakes his head with a soft chuckle. “But it might backfire, because now I’m gonna get off thinking about spanking you,” he grins at you, but you just shrug, heading to the bathroom.

“Do whatever you want, fantasizing is free,” you tell him before locking yourself in the bathroom.

You’d be lying if you said you don’t think about him in the shower. As your hands move down your body, your fingers wander between your legs, gently playing with your clit while thinking about Harry spanking you. Knowing that he is kind of into the same things as you makes your fantasies even more vivid, but you don’t let yourself get off. You wouldn’t want him to hear you moan under the shower, he would tease you about it forever.

When you’re all done you step out of the bathroom only to get startled by Harry who is standing right at the door, wearing only his boxer briefs.

“Shit!” you gasp, snapping your hand to your chest.

“You took awfully long in there, Y/N,” he smirks at you, but you just roll your eyes at him. “If you ever need help washing you back, don’t be shy to ask me to join.”

“Keep dreaming,” you mumble under your breath as you walk past him and make your way into your bedroom.

“I already do that!” he calls after you before you shut the door closed.

Throwing yourself to your bed you take a deep breath closing your eyes. If he keeps up this act, you have no idea how you’re gonna survive having him around any longer.

Two days go by in the same manner. You spend most of the day out doing your usual stuff, you actually manage to catch another guy who was a small reward, but it’s more than nothing. Harry usually has dinner ready and waiting for you by the time you get back home. During these two days he has fixed up basically everything that wasn’t working in your apartment, freeing you from doing it yourself for probably twice as long as he did.

You sit and eat together, Harry usually tries to get under your skin with some more flirting that you return with a cold shoulder, but then, when you’re lying in the comfort of your bed or standing under the hot water in the shower, you always find your thoughts wandering off to the man on the other side of the door.

Ashamed to admit, but you’ve gotten yourself off once thinking about him. You woke up in the middle of the night from a quite hot dream that, of course, featured a shirtless Harry and you just couldn’t stop yourself from bringing you some relief. For a little while your hands weren’t yours, you imagined that Harry’s big, calloused and ring clad fingers were moving against your body and you needed every drop of self-control not to moan his name out as you came. You blame it on him being so comfortable shirtless around your place, he has been really making himself feel home. Not that you’re complaining, he is a sight for the eyes certainly, but it’s also giving you a hard time.

Robert soon asks you to swing by the station to discuss some details about Harry’s case. You can tell he couldn’t dig up anything helpful, he would have already mentioned it through the phone, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have anything that can be useful in further investigation.

“So, I’ve caught wind of Axel Morris being involved in the death of the victim, but we haven’t been able to recover any evidence that would point towards him, unfortunately,” Robert explains as the two of you sit in his office. “Didn’t want to bring him in for questioning either because then Hugo would find out we are after him.”

“So what can be done now?”

“I’m… really not sure, Y/N. If Axel doesn’t magically confesses the murder on tape, I’m not sure I can do anything to help Styles.”

Chewing on your bottom lip you’re trying hard to think of what to do. This can’t end like this, there has to be a way out for Harry…

“Look. I know you’re trying to cook up something to help Styles, but I’m not sure I can give you much time.”

“What do you mean?” you ask with a puzzled look.

“I mean that…” He glances at the door and then leans closer, speaking more quietly. “If I had a guess where he could be found, I would say he is at your place as we are speaking. I can’t let a guy walk free who is wanted for murder, Y/N. I eventually have to bring him back.”

“Alright, alright. Just give me a few more days. I’ll figure it out,” you plead, running your hand through your hair. Robert sighs, shaking his head.

“You have three days. That marks ten days since the warrant has been out. If you don’t bring me evidence by then, I’m sending the guys to your place to get him.”

“Three days, alright. I’ll… figure it out. Thanks, Robert,” you nod, leaving his office in a rush.

You have three days to find evidence against Axel and free Harry, but how do you even start? You’re good at what you do, but this is kind of out of your field and you’re not sure you can deal with it.

Walking around town you try to come up with an idea, but end up doing what you always do when you’re stuck on a case. Thanks to your work you’ve built up quite a web of connections, you always know someone who knows someone who is exactly the person you need. So sitting at a diner, munching on a late lunch you start calling your connections to see if you can dig up anything that could help.

A few hours later the situation becomes brighter and you finally have a somewhat useful plan so you head home to let Harry in on what you’ve come up with.

He is seemingly surprised when you arrive home earlier than the usual, he is sitting at the dining table, a bowl of instant noodles in front of him as he is watching some video on his phone. Like usually, he is only wearing a pair of sweatpants, his tattooed abdomen on full display.

“Oh, hi! Something happened?” he asks, concern showing in his eyes as he watches you kick your shoes off and storm into your bedroom, going straight to your wardrobe to dig up one particular outfit. “Y/N?” you hear him call out for you, his voice coming from your door.

“Yes! I knew I still had it!” you cheer in triumph as you hold up the latex set that clearly leaves very little to the imagination. When Harry sees it, his eyes go wide and his imagination probably gets wild for a moment, because he clears his throat as he looks at you puzzled.

“What do you need that for?”

“It’s part of my plan that will get us evidence against Axel Morris.”

“I’m not really following, so please elaborate?”

“I talked to Robert, he said we need to get him to confess. Now, I made a few phone calls and found out that our friend, Axel is a regular at this strip club called Siren. I’ll pretend to be a dancer and wrap him around my fingers and get him to confess while recording. You said it yourself, he is a real dumbass, I’m sure I can make it work.”

Harry stares at you frozen for a long moment before he lets out a heartfelt chuckle and now you’re the one confused about what’s really going on.

“S’cute you think I’m letting you close to that man. Funny, that was a good joke. Alright, what do you want for dinner?” he asks, walking back to the dinner table, but you chase after him.

“It’s not a joke, Harry. Pretty much our only chance to get you out of this mess!”

“You are not going anywhere near that guy and that’s not up for debate.”

“Not that you can tell me what to do!” you scoff at him.

“Y/N, you have no idea what you’re talking about,” he shakes his head sitting back to the table, stirring his pasta around with the spoon.

“I certainly know, and this is pretty much your only chance to save your ass, Harry.”

“Not if it means you go near Axel, nah,” he shakes his head calmly, as if it wasn’t even an argument and he had the right to grant you permission.

“Well, I’m doing it and you can’t do anything about that. I’m going in tomorrow. I know one of the dancers, she is helping me set it all up,” you shrug, your attitude meeting his careless one, but he doesn’t like your answer, not even a bit.

“Y/N, you are not going there!” he snaps, standing up, the chair falling back from the sudden movement. “That psycho killed a man or did you forget about that?!”

“Okay, so what’s your plan to save your ass? Because there’s literally no other choice,” you retort giving him a frown as you march back to your room and Harry follows you.

“But it won’t be you dressing up as a stripper, seducing a fucking murderer to get him to confess!”

“So then what is it going to be?!” you snap at him facing him again. “Because Robert gave me three days to sort things out before he comes here and takes you in himself!”

“Then I’ll go to jail! No big deal!” he throws his hands into the air like it was just a minor inconvenience and not a case of murder that could put him behind bars forever.

“Are you fucking insane?” you laugh in disbelief. “You’re willing to lose the rest of your life for what? Nothing at all?!”

“It’s not nothing, Y/N. You are not getting yourself into this mess and it’s not up for debate.”

“You hold no control over me, Harry!” you scream at him at this point, fed up with his bullshit.

You find yourself pinned against the wall in a blink of the eye, Harry is pressed up against you, hands grabbing onto your forearms as he keeps you in place firmly, one of his thighs coming between your legs as his face is dangerously close to yours now. He knocks the air out of you for a moment and you stare back at him with parted lips for just a split second before your instincts kick in.

You easily knee him in the crotch, giving you just enough opportunity to grab one of his wrists and twist it behind his back, forcing him to get on the ground, growling in pain.

“Fuck! Y/N!” he groans, snapping his other hand against the hardwood floor. You give him another squeeze as a warning before letting him go and he falls to the ground for a moment before he pushes himself up to sit on his heels.

“You still think I can’t protect myself against a man?” you sneer at him walking over to the bed to grab the outfit that was tossed to the side in the hustle.

“Shit, I think you broke my dick!” he breathes out hunching over and you just smile to yourself as you hand the outfit up to the side of your wardrobe.

“Don’t be such a crybaby, you’re fine.”

“Don’t think so, might need a get-well kiss on it though,” he smirks through his painful expression and you roll your eyes at him. How is he still at it when you just kneeled him in his crotch? “Okay, your message came through very clear though, but I’m still not a fan of your plan,” he sighs finally standing up from the floor.

“It’s gonna be easy, I’ll get him a little drunk, offer him a private dance, make a move and get him to talk. If he really is that dumb like you said, I can easily get him to open up, just gotta make sure he is focusing on something else,” you explain gesturing towards the outfit on the hanger.

“You can’t wear that, Y/N.”

“This is what strippers wear, I don’t see what the problem is.”

“My problem is that it’s like… nonexistent. There’s no textile at all!” he rages, still eyeing the red latex set.

“Are you… jealous?” you ask, starting to get a feel of what’s really going on. Harry’s head snaps in your way and the look in his eyes answers your question even when he tries to hide his real reasons.

“Jealous of you becoming a stripper? I bet I can make more than you if I became one,” he scoffs smugly.

“Oh my god, you are so fucking jealous!” you laugh, enjoying this one in a million moment. “What’s next, you have feelings for me? Are you gonna confess your undying love?” you tease him.

“Okay, you had your laughs, that was enough. Excuse me if I’m looking out for you and I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

“Don’t get all smitten with me now. I’ve been doing just fine without you so far.”

“Yeah, how many people did you bring in for murder?” Harry questions and that leaves you without an answer. Not that you don’t know it, but because the number is exactly zero. You’ve been doing your job for quite a while and there’s been all kind of cases under your hands, but not murders. Though you are completely capable of defending yourself, you’re not sure you want to deal with monsters who took a human’s life. The only reason you took Harry’s case was because you had an inkling feeling from the very start that he did not do it.

“Just as I thought,” Harry scoffs. “Listen, if you really want to do this then I’m going with you. No way I’m gonna just sit around here and wait to see if you make it back home.”

“How do you plan on leaving the house? Someone might recognize you and then it’s game over.”

“I’ll just… disguise myself,” he shrugs. “Can’t be that hard.”

You never thought the day would come when you see Harry Styles wearing a fake mustache and a ridiculous wig, secured with a beanie to his head. The moment the two of you finish his disguise, you can’t hold your laughter back. He looks so damn ridiculous, you can barely breathe through your laughter as he checks himself out in the mirror.

“I look like a fucking pedophile,” he shakes his head chuckling as he pushes some fake hair out of his forehead. “Where the fuck did you find this wig?” he snaps at you in disbelief.

“Does it matter? You look so fucking bad!” you laugh hysterically and Harry just stands there, waiting for you to finally stop, but it seems like he is not bothered by your reaction. He probably finds it equally funny too.

It’s currently seven pm, you have to head to Siren soon to start your fake shift as a stripper and you haven’t been able to talk Harry down from following you, so there you are, getting ready to fool everyone around you. Harry with his awful disguise and you with your stripper outfit.

When you finally catch your breath you leave Harry in the living room to get ready as well. Following a heavy makeup with dark, smokey eyes, you also put on a wig, a short, red bob that’s part of the outfit. Then you squeeze yourself into the latex, the tiny top barely covering you, the skirt is not even a skirt, rather than just a belt. As an extra to the fit, you’ve put on a red corset, though it’s more so you can hide the voice recorder since the original outfit doesn’t give too many places to do that. You pair it all with fishnet tights and a pair of black, thigh-high boots. As you check yourself out in the mirror you don’t even recognize yourself. Y/N is officially gone, the girl in the boots is… Crystabel.

Opening the door you step out of your bedroom, Harry is standing in the middle of the living room, busy with his phone so at first he doesn’t even see you walk out.

“Ready to leave?” he asks, eyes still on the screen of his phone.

“I… guess?” you breathe out, feeling extremely self-conscious in this revealing set.

When Harry finally looks up his mouth drops open. He is not even trying to hide his hunger as his eyes rake down the length of your body. He takes his time to take in every inch of your exposed skin before his gaze settles on your eyes behind your long fake lashes.

“Holy shit,” he breathes out and it gives you quite the confidence boost.

“You like it?” you ask, striking a pose as you push your hips to the side and place your hands on your waist.

“I-I’m… I’m fucking speechless,” he chuckles as you walk closer and grabbing the strings of his hoodie, you tug on the playfully while he is still shamelessly checking you out. “I don’t know how I could live this long without seeing you like this.”

“You are such a flirt,” you roll your eyes, but just as you are about to step away from him he grabs you by your waist and pulls you against him firmly. Your hands move to his broad shoulders right away, trying to keep your balance in his hold.

“I might be a flirt, but you are the hottest woman I’ve seen and I admit I will be fucking jealous of every man that’s gonna lay their eyes on you tonight.” His voice is low, full of lust and if it wasn’t for his funny disguise, you would have melted right into his arms in a heartbeat.

“I can’t take you seriously with this mustache on,” you chuckle softly, running your fingers over the fake facial hair, the pad of your fingers slightly touching his soft lips underneath.

“Just wait until we get back home and I get rid of it,” he smirks and winks at you, making you chuckle, but you can also feel yourself blushing at his words.

You put on a trench coat to cover the racy outfit as the two of you make your way to the club. Harry is driving, but you took your car in case someone might recognize him near the club. Arriving Harry parks at a darker corner in the parking lot and he pulls out a little box from his backpack.

“Alright, let’s wire you up, Love,” he smirks as you undo the coat and let him help you get the devices situated on you.

The voice recorder gets pushed into your stomach, hiding behind your corset. It’s thick enough that it doesn’t give away that anything is hidden under it, it’s just a little uncomfortable for you, but you are sucking it up.

“Here, put this into your ears,” Harry hands you an earpiece that you place into your right ear, hiding it with your wig. “It’s not the best quality, but you’ll be able to hear me and I’ll hear everything around you. We need a safe word if anything happens so I know I have to go inside.”

“This is starting to look like a spy movie or something,” you mumble under your breath as you start buttoning your coat again.

“Don’t turn it into a joke, Y/N. Axel might be a stupid jerk, but don’t forget he killed that man. He doesn’t care if you’re a woman or not, or if you’re a real stripper or not.”

“Alright, alright,” you sigh nodding. “How about… cherry?”

“Okay. Use it if you are in trouble or someone is hurting you or anything.” You nod, fidgeting with the end of the coat, but Harry grabs your hand and makes you look at him. “I mean it, Y/N. I don’t want you to play the hero.”

“I won’t, calm down. I gotta go now. I’ll see you soon,” you tell him before getting out of the car and heading to the backdoor. Glancing back one last time you see Harry standing at the hood of the car, watching you intently as you disappear from his sight.

Sienna, who is helping you tonight is already waiting for you at the backdoor. You met her a few years ago when you caught her abusive ex and took him in. She said she owed you one for freeing her from that asshole and now you are finally here to collect that favor.

“Damn, you look good!” she grins, pulling you into a short hug.

“You think it’s gonna be alright?” you ask, pulling the coat open to show her the whole outfit.

“Fucking fantastic. No men will be able to focus on anything than your boobs,” she snorts, pulling you inside.

The plan is easy. You won’t be out all night, Sienna will be your eyes and when she spots Axel arrive, that’s when you come into the picture. Sienna will escort him to a secluded area and tell him he has a free lap dance which will be, of course, performed by you. Some flirting, some seducing and hopefully Axel will be dumb enough to let a some sort of confession slip.

Sienna takes you to the changing room and you stay in the corner, trying not to be in the way as you watch the girls get ready. There are ten girls in total, five of them are dancing tonight, the other five are servers, but they still dress like dancers. They all wear equally revealing outfits, just like you and as you watch them move around so confidently, you start to get more and more nervous. What if Axel figures out you’re not a real dancer right away? Or if he notices the recorder pushed into your stomach? This plan is definitely not the safest you’ve ever come up with, and you are starting to doubt yourself now that you are so deep in it.

“Y/N?” you hear Harry’s faint voice in your ear. “Do you hear me?”

“Yes,” you breathe out and hearing his voice calms your nerves a little.

“Everything alright?” First you nod, but then you realize he can’t see you.

“Yes.”

“Okay. Are you nervous?”

“Very,” you admit with an awkward chuckle. Luckily, Harry doesn’t bring his usual cockiness out, feeling how serious the situation is.

“You can still come out and we can just go home. You don’t have to do this.”

“No, I want to do this,” you firmly answer. “Just… talk to me a little. Please.”

“Alright, I’ll tell you about when I wanted to ask you out to prom,” you hear him start and you can’t push a smile down as you sit and wait, listening to his soothing voice. “You were wearing this pretty white sweater that day and tight jeans, you looked so fucking good, Y/N. I saw you walking to your locker and you smiled at some random guy and I was instantly jealous.”

“Really?” you ask quietly.

“O, yeah,” he chuckles. “I told you, I had a crush on you. So I thought about asking you out, wanted to just walk up to you and casually ask if you wanted to go with me. But then I just watched you and realized that you probably wouldn’t want anything to do with me, so I just watched you get your books out of your locker and then you walked right past me, looked me in the eyes and I straight up felt my knees turn into jelly. Good thing I was leaning against the wall. You walked away and I never asked you out. Still regret that,” he admits and your heart flutters at his words.

As weird as it sounds, you remember that day. Especially because when your eyes met Harry’s you felt kind of the same. You felt intimidated and wondered why he was watching you so intently, but you would have never guessed he wanted to ask you out.

You see Sienna walking in, her eyes find you and you immediately know it’s show time.

“Harry?” you breathe out at last.

“Yeah?”

“I would have said yes,” you tell him before you follow Sienna out and the blasting music pushes down Harry’s voice in your earpiece.

The bright lights of the back are switched to the dim, red lighting in the main bar area, a dancer is already on the stage and the place seems packed for the night as all men are hungrily watching the girl on the stage, throwing dollar bills at her shamelessly.

Sienna pulls you to the bar and leans closer to your ear so you can hear what she is saying.

“He is in one of the private rooms, told him the dance is on the house to thank him for being a regular. I asked one of the guards to stand nearby.”

“Thank you, S,” you nod at her as she squeezes your hands.

“Good luck, girl,” she smiles a little bitterly before she shows you the way to the room where Axel is currently waiting for his private dance.

As you stop at the door you take a deep breath, staring at the doorknob for a moment, trying to brace yourself for whatever is about to happen in there.

“I’m going in,” you say, partially to yourself, but mostly to Harry so he knows what’s happening though you don’t hear an answer before you open the door and step inside.

The room is mostly what you were expecting, a small stage with a rod in the middle, across that a long, plush, deep burgundy couch. The walls are black, just the red led lights illuminating the place.

And there he is. Axel Morris is sitting in the middle of the couch, manspreading so widely like the asshole that he is, arms leisurely draped across the back of the couch as his hungry eyes immediately snap to your body.

Axel is big. He is a large man and you realize that the moment you see him. Though he is sitting you can easily tell that he’s tall and he is definitely bulky. Could end you in a blink of an eye and knowing that he is capable of murder is just an eerie thought that doesn’t leave you alone. But you suck it up and get into character, only thinking about one thing: help Harry out of this mess.

Music with low bass starts playing through the speakers as you make your way over to Axel who grins at you disgustingly, making it hard for you to keep the façade.

“Hey big boy, heard you’ve earned a dance for yourself,” you coo at him stopping at the edge of the stage as you keep eye-contact with him. You lean against the edge and spread your legs just enough to tease his imagination about what’s about to come.

“Hell yes, I did! Hope you’re a good dancer, babygirl. Haven’t seen you around here.”

“I’m new. But I’m really good, that’s why they sent me,” you smirk at him sweetly as you walk closer until you’re standing in front of him. He reaches out and grabbing your hips he pulls you to straddle his lap and it catches you by surprise but you don’t fall out of character.

“Then show me what you can do. What’s your name?” He licks his lips as you start moving, doing your best from movies you’ve seen with strippers in them.

“Crystabel, but you can call me yours,” you hum, grinding and bouncing yourself, completely unleashing your inner hoe. “Tell me, big boy. Are you as dangerous as you seem?”

“Oh baby, you have no idea,” he grins proudly.

“Really?” you coo, pushing yourself up against him. His dirty hands find your ass and you want to push them away so badly, but you let him have his way with you for the sake of the plan. “What’s the worst you’ve done?”

“Why does a pretty girl like you want to know about that, huh?” he cocks his head to the side, eyeing you with suspicion so you know you have to be careful.

“Because I have a thing for those stuff. I love pain and blood, it gets me off always,” you smirk at him teasingly, grinding yourself against him to divert his attention a little from the words spoken.

“Mm, yeah?”

“Yeah, I love that kind of stuff,” you moan, running your hands down your chest, his eyes hungrily following your every move and you know he is zoned out. It’s going perfectly.

“Well, I’m the perfect man for you then, babygirl. I’ve done all the things you can imagine.”

“Really? You are turning me on, big boy,” you murmur lowly, turning around for a bit so he can get a good glimpse of your backside as well. “Have you… taken anyone’s life before?” you bluntly ask, hoping you aren’t moving too fast and he won’t snap at you.

“Not sure I should be talking about that with you, pretty girl,” he smirks smugly. You turn back to face him, pushing your crotch against him as you try not to gag feeling his erection under you.

“I’m good with secrets, Honey. My lips are sealed,” you grin at him, stroking his oily face and try your best not to wipe your fingers into the cushion of the couch. Axel smirks at you, clearly enjoying the show you are putting on, his fingers are digging into your thighs as his eyes are practically glued to your chest.

“I’m a killer, babygirl.”

“Yeah?” you gasp, faking your excitement. “What did you do, big boy? Tell me, make me wet,” you purr biting into your bottom lip, pushing your chest out some more to distract him from his consciousness that might keep him from answering.

“Killed a guy recently,” he smugly admits and your adrenaline is high in the sky. You are so close to what you need!

“Oh my, sounds like a dirty job.”

“It was.”

“Saw it on the news a guy got killed not long ago, did you do that?” you smirk at him, his hand slapping your ass and you fight yourself not to punch him in the face.

“That Richards guy? Yeah,” he nods and you almost start screaming in your triumph. This dumbass really did just confess to you, because you had your ass and tits out for him!

“Cool. What’s your name, big guy? Wanna know who I’ll think of when I touch myself later,” you pant into his ear, you need him to say his name otherwise the confession might go to shit.

“I’m Axel, babygirl,” he grins, leaning dangerously close to you, he clearly wants to push his tongue down your throat but you push yourself away and up from his lap.

“Our time is up, big boy. See you later!” you sing and walk out of the room while he is still kind of zoned out.

The moment you are out, you start running. You can’t have him realize what just happened and stop you. Pushing your way back to the dressing room you grab all your stuff and spring out of the building. Harry is standing at the entrance, his ridiculous disguise is gone as he spots you with wide eyes. He probably heard everything and wanted to be there for you when you get out and as soon as you reach him he grabs your hand and the two of you run to the car. Right when you get into the car, you spot Axel running out from the front entrance and he definitely realized what just happened.

“Hey! Get back here you slut!” he shouts as Harry starts the car and you melt into the seat, scared of what’s about to happen because you see Axel reach to his back and the next thing you know is that he has a gun in his hand.

“Harry! Go!” you scream when you see him aim at the car and right at that moment, the wheels screech as Harry pushes the gas pedal to the fullest and the car yanks forward.

Your heart drops to the floor when a bullet shoots into the side of the car as Axel tries to stop the two of you. Harry takes a sharp turn and leaves the car park with full speed. You see Axel from the mirror, he is raging and keeps shooting after you, but he has no aim or whatsoever. You reach the end of the street and you feel like you can finally breathe again.

“Oh shit, fuck,” you mumble, chest heaving as you grab onto the armrest for some kind of leverage, your adrenaline is still pumping through your veins from the action movie-like scene that just happened.

“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” Harry asks, eyes dancing between the road ahead of him and you as he tries to figure out if anything happened to you.

“I-I’m fine, he was just… fucking nasty to deal with you,” you groan at the thought of his hands on you. You’ll need the hottest shower after this, that’s for sure. “Go to the station, we gotta bring the tape in now,” you tell him as you reach into your corset. Pulling the recorder out you huff in relief, it’s been pressed into you for way too long. The tape is still rolling so you end it and then rewind it, checking if everything you need is on it. Luckily, it caught the whole thing perfectly, that means Harry is not going to jail. Well, not this time at least.

He is speeding down the streets as you get rid of the wig and put on your coat, you don’t want to walk into the police station dressed like a hooker and have the word spread that Robert’s sister has been making money some other way lately.

Arriving to the station you hold the recorder so tightly as if your life depends on it while Harry reaches for your other hand and firmly holds it in his warm palm. You walk inside and immediately spot Jeremy at the front desk. Letting go of Harry’s hand you run up to him.

“Jer, I got evidence for the Richards case! I got a confession on tape,” you beam at him holding the recorder up. He gives you a stunned look as he takes the recorder.

“Confession? How do you—“ He is cut off when you hear Harry’s voice from behind you.

“Hey! What the fuck!” he snaps and as you turn around you see that two officers are already on him, trying to handcuff him. Jeremy quickly forgets about the recorder as he joins in on strangling Harry. but you grab his arm and try to pull back.

“No! He didn’t do it! Listen to the tape!” you cry out, desperate to end this mess, but it feels like no one is listening to you.

“Harry Styles, you are under arrest for the murder of Dave Richards. You have the right…” One of the officers starts saying the usual speech as they drag Harry away while you are begging to Jeremy to listen to you.

“Jeremy! He didn’t fucking do it!” you scream, tears rolling down your face.

“What do you mean?” he asks giving you a puzzled look. It was Axel Morris! One of Hugo McKain’s men! They are trying to frame Harry!” you explain, while Harry is being taken away. “Harry, no!” you shout after them, but the officers don’t stop.

“Don’t worry, Y/N! I’ll be fine!” he calls after you before he disappears from your vision.

“Jeremy, please just listen to the fucking tape! I got his confession!”

“I’ll look into it, but I’m afraid Harry is spending the night here,” he sighs, looking down at the recorder before he walks away.

“Fuck, no!” you choke out.

When you finally stop crying you rush out of the building and call your brother, not even caring that it’s past midnight. He better answer your call or you are showing up at his house and start banging on his door until he opens it.

“What the fuck, Y/N?” he growls into the phone.

“Robert, they fucking took Harry in! I had the confession on tape, but they just wouldn’t listen, they arrested him!”

“Hey, slow down, what are you talking about?”

Taking a deep breath you tell him the whole story. The club, the dance, the confession and then how you came straight to the station but they arrested Harry without listening to you.

“Alright, you can’t do much now, Y/N. He is still a suspect but I’ll call Jeremy to look into the tape. If it’s found relevant Harry will be out in the morning okay?”

“Please come in early in the morning and make sure he is let out, please!” you cry out, feeling so helpless after everything that just happened.

“I will. Meet me at the station at six, okay? It’ll be alright. Go home, have some sleep and then we’ll make everything right in the morning.”

You do as Robert asked, go home, have a shower, wash the night off of your skin and lie in bed however you are not able to sleep, not even for a minute. You keep thinking about Harry and what might be happening to him now. They better get their shit together and let him out in the morning or you are losing your mind. You didn’t go through all this just to have him put behind bars anyway.

It’s not even six when you are already at the station, anxiously waiting for Robert to show up. You keep glancing up at the building, thinking about how Harry is somewhere in there and you can only hope he’ll be out with you shortly.

When Robert arrives he goes straight up to check out the situation with the tape and Harry. Waiting for him down in the hall is nerve-wrecking, you feel like time has stopped. When he finally appears again you jump to your feet running up to him with high hopes.

“The tape has been examined, it was classified as evidence. Jeremy has already put out an arrest warrant on Axel. Harry is no longer a suspect. He’ll be down once the paperwork is done.”

“Oh thank God!” you breathe out and throw yourself at him, hugging him tighter than ever.

“Look, but there is something I need to talk to you about,” he says with a serious look.

“Okay, what is it?”

“We might be able to get this Axel guy, but I’m pretty sure Hugo is already after the two of you. We have a whole team for him, working on catching him finally, but it might be smart if you just left town for a little.”

“Oh. Yeah, sounds logical,” you nod.

“Let me know if you need help with that. I can arrange something for you.”

“We’ll see. I have to talk to Harry first.”

“Harry, huh?” Robert smirks down at you knowingly and you feel yourself blushing. A lot has changed lately around you and Harry and you guess it’s quite evident for everyone else as well. “Just so you know, he asked about you during the night. Wanted to know if you are alright.”

“Yeah?” you breathe out with a small smile.

“Yes. Might have been wrong about him a little. Tell him I said hello, I need to get to work now,” he nods with a fond smile.

“Thank you, Robert!” you call after him as he waves in your way before disappearing in the elevator.

Waiting around in the hall you keep looking towards the hallway, hoping to see him appear finally, but the minutes are just dragging by way too slowly.

You’re impatiently sitting on one of the benches by the wall when you finally see him walking down the hallway, leisurely running his hand through his hair, a tired smile sitting on his lips when he sees you leap from your seat and launch at him, throwing yourself into his arms.

“Hey, hey! It’s all good, Love. Told you not to worry about me,” he chuckles, but holds you tight anyway, his arms wrapping around you as he lifts you off the ground, taking a few steps forward.

“Of course I fucking worry about you, idiot!” you mumble into his neck before leaning back you look at his pretty face.

“Yeah? Does this mean I had the right to worry about you last night?”

“You were?”

“Fuck yes,” he laughs. “You have no idea what it was like to sit outside and listen to everything that fucker told you. Wanted to punch him in the face so badly.”

“So heroic,” you grin at him, your face already inching closer to his, arms still wrapped around his neck.

“Only for my favorite stripper,” he winks at you, making you gasp.

“If you dare to bring it up again and call me a stripper, I swear to God I—“

You don’t get to finish your threat, because his hand snakes to the back of your neck and he pulls you into a hard kiss, his lips smashing against yours. Melting into the kiss you open your mouth for him without hesitation, his tongue meeting yours as he kisses you with so much vigor and passion, he makes you bend your back, leaning back as he holds you firmly in his strong arms. And suddenly, you feel like you’re seventeen again, making out with your high school crush in the school hallway, luckily, you are kissing the same person you wanted then.

“I’m fucking starving, babe,” he breathes out once you finally pull away from each other. “For you as well, but can we get some real food?” he asks as he laces his fingers together with yours, heading out of the station.

“Sure,” you chuckle. “Hey, there’s something we need to talk about.”

“Love, told you, you can handcuff me to the bedframe, I’m into that stuff.”

“Shut up!” you laugh smacking his chest as the two of you walk out to your car. “It’s not about that,” you murmur with a soft blush. “Robert said we should leave for a while, Hugo might be after us after what happened last night.”

“Yeah, thought about that myself too,” he nods as he gets behind the wheel without even asking if you want him to drive or not.

“So what should we do?” you question, sitting in the comfort of your car. Harry reaches for your hand and brings it up to his mouth, kissing your knuckles softly before he smirks at you.

“Have you been to Ireland, Love?”

“No,” you breathe out, a little stunned by the question.

“I have a friend over there, I’m sure he would love to have us there for a while. What do you say?”

“Are you for real? You want to go to Ireland with me?”

“Yeah, would be fun, don’t you think?”

“Okay,” you smile in awe. Even after that kiss you had doubts he would want to run away with you for the time being. But he is definitely planning to have you around longer. “Yeah, Ireland sounds fun.”

“Great. Then let’s head home to pack,” he smirks, starting the car. “Oh, Love?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t forget to bring your handcuffs,” he grins and you just laugh at his smugness before leaning closer to kiss him quickly before the two of you finally drive away from the station.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[pumpkinpaix]

this is gonna sound so harsh but im legit tired of chinese diaspora people who think that bc they are of chinese descent and they have pleco they can act like voices of authority in the fandom. if modao is the 1st chinese book you have read pieces of with a dictionary, if you have never interacted with the actual chinese fandom, you are not part of the intended audience and your biased opinion is not the One And Only Valid Truth 🍵

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree | this is really hard for me to express in terms of an agree/disagree axis lol

genuinely cannot tell if you’re trying to shade me here anon lmao 😂

this got long and rambly (of course) asldkjfslj. i would love to make the excuse that it’s bc i’ve got a migraine and had No Sleep but. let’s be real i’m always like this.

ok i’ll start with where i agree: i don’t think anyone has the right to act like an ultimate voice of authority in fandom. i think different people with different backgrounds have varying realms of expertise and they should be respected when they share that knowledge, but that the instant someone starts to use that kind of power as a weapon against people they personally don’t like, i think they forfeit that privilege. no one has the one and only valid truth about a piece of media because that’s fundamentally impossible. i have definitely interacted with diaspo who behave like their heritage gives them some kind of incontrovertible authority over everyone else, and they’re fucking insufferable and often rather cruel, even/especially towards other diaspo. meet me in the denny’s parking lot and fight me for real. i’ll kick ur ass. >:c

however, I also think it’s true that there’s a lot of dismissal of heritage fans in this fandom, if that makes sense, from both sides of the equation: non-Chinese fans ignore our cultural hangups because they’re inconvenient, and non-diaspora disdain us for being not Chinese enough. that puts a lot of us in a position of feeling disrespected just for being who we are, or having our very real knowledge and unique experience as individuals devalued because of it.

regardless of my identity, I have formally studied a lot of things: literary translation, media analysis, the politics of oppression, film critique, religious studies, philosophy, four foreign languages etc. and that is all knowledge that I had to work for, and work hard for. I do have a certain measure of authority on all of these subjects over a layperson (to varying degrees), and there are going to be times when i will be more correct than someone who disagrees with me -- but I’ve also absolutely experienced people talking over that specialized knowledge because of who I am, which is, to be clear. extremely infuriating and hurtful. like, i have cried so much about it in the last 18 months. people see my racial and cultural identity before they see anything else, which is understandable to a degree, but upsetting when it becomes the basis for how my work is judged, whether positive or negative. i don’t want you to trust me blindly because i’m abc. I want to you to trust me because you have examined my work critically and judged it to be trustworthy!

so i guess this is getting into the strongly disagree part of the answer: i’ve been speaking a lot with other diaspora fans lately, and it’s been simultaneously hugely relieving and also really saddening. relieving because oh thank god someone else Gets It, and saddening because pretty much all of us, no matter what kind of diaspo we are (north american, european, SEA, taiwanese etc), we’ve all experienced a lot of pressure in this fandom, from non-Chinese, Chinese, and other diaspora fans alike. we’re all acutely aware that we are not modao’s intended audience because being diaspora vs being “from the mainland” or whatever, are actually quite different things, but modao still feels close to home. even if it was not written FOR us it is still familiar to us.

and, because so many of us are multilingual and multicultural, we end up being the bridge between the “actual” chinese fandom and the english-speaking fandom, which is largely made up of non-chinese. (sidenote: I hate it when people say things about being “actually” any identity because it’s almost always for the exact reason you brought up: to use heritage as street cred. it’s like damn, being “actually” chinese doesn’t make ur opinions any less rank. sure you might be “actually” chinese, but do you have basic reading comprehension and literary criticism skills? no? ok then sit your ass back down) many of us are most comfortable in english! so we produce our content in english! but we also DO often have a somewhat privileged access to the culture that underlies mdzs and can explain it in a language that other non-Chinese fans can understand. so it’s not surprising that people flock to us for answers to their cultural questions. and like. if we think we know the answer, it’s natural for us to try and help. this is fandom! we’re here to have fun and find community! and it is definitely a little bit nice to have my culture treated as something desirable for once instead of just like. a weird exotic curiosity that no one really cares too deeply about. and, since a lot of us are able to do things that non-Chinese fans can’t (research in chinese, for example. ask family members for help and more information etc.) we end up just having more information to share.

I think this sometimes results in a tendency for fandom at large to put heritage/diaspo fans on pedestals and tout them as authorities (or use our conflicting viewpoints as ammunition in fandom drama) when the diaspo in question have repeatedly stated that they should not be taken as authorities on something -- and then, once you reach critical mass, your reputation starts to precede you, and I think there’s a lot of misconceptions of how a lot of diaspo act in this fandom simply because of that phenomenon. most of us know that we’re not ultimate arbiters of some kind of cultural gateway, and it can be very tiring both to be treated as such when we insist we are not, and then punished by other people who assume that we acted like we were.

i don’t think there’s a benefit in trying to keep en fandom and cn fandom totally separate, and I also think it’s unfair to consider the cn fandom the “real” fandom. i think that way lies deeper misunderstandings, gatekeeping, etc. i think we can definitely acknowledge the differences between them, but i think trying to make meaningful connections between fandom circles is really valuable! i don’t think i’ve ever made it a secret that modao is my first cmedia fandom? so it’s also the first time i’ve had reason to interact with chinese fandom, which has been super enlightening and interesting! i’ve made some super cool friends and learned a lot about how fandom works in china, how it’s similar and how it differs from the fandom i’m familiar with.

and then, kind of circling back around, there’s also a bit of a sense like, okay, so if diaspo don’t belong in the CN fandom, but we can’t talk about our own culture with some degree of confidence in EN fandom, then like..... where do we go...? if we see EN fandom doing something that contradicts our cultural knowledge, do we just. not say anything? do we not count unless we’ve already ingratiated ourselves to CN fandom? that’s probably where the core of my strong disagreement comes from, because criticism of diaspora fans as like, acting above their station so to speak, feels just like a tired continuation of the same shit we’ve had to deal with for our whole lives, being told we’re not good enough for anywhere and that we should just be quiet and keep our heads down and get over it. that our opinions, despite coming from a unique perspective with a unique relationship to the subject in question, are less valid or real than “actual” chinese people, you know? and sometimes i see that and im like lmfao just sneer at me for being jook-sing and leave then if you’re so eager to think of me as lesser.

so yeah, basically im of a few minds: true! diaspora fans don’t get to throw their weight around just because they’re diaspo. they don’t get carte blanche to act like bullies or try to shape the fandom to their own personal liking and crusade against people who disagree with them. they don’t get to pretend their heritage makes them superior to everyone else, and i think western diaspora especially need to be careful when asserting any kind of moral lens over the text to acknowledge that we have our own biases to interrogate. i am not immune.meme etc. on the other hand, this vein of criticism tends to put all diaspo in a bit of a double-bind, and also, however unintentionally, plays into the general, continuous trend of dismissing diaspora for being diaspora, and i’m really not about that. i don’t think that’s the motivation behind opinions like this, but i do think that when the basis for the argument hinges on the idea that diaspora are not “real” chinese, no matter how much I too have beef with certain diaspora fans, the argument needs to be revisited. 

(ko-fi)

🍵 ((un)popular) opinions meme

[beardedmrbean]

Oh my god. I thought you were dead. Jesus fucking christ. I was about to fight god. Actually no I am still going to fight god, what the fuck, if I had to choose one persons account to live for the rest of time I would choose yours no hesitation, I am so sorry, Im going to fight tumblr staff in the Dennys parking lot for your vengeance, stay strong, I love you Nunya < 3

lmao, I've got my appeal in.

I didn't get the 'this can't be appealed' version of the email so best odds are I got mass reported and a actual look at my blog from staff will get me restored pretty quickly.

Well as quickly as staff can move I suppose.

Just gonna take it easy over here for a bit and drop memes and such for a bit till I find out one way or the other

[drangues]

I can imagine how bad it was, trust me, I live in this hell hole. Anyways, Dazai is absolutely CEO material and Mori is,,, Fitting, for a Shady Businessman. He has that vibe, which I guess makes sense since he’s a mafia boss? But YES I love tiny characters, it’s just very cute??? And fairies are adorable too, I have a weakness for small things. Like Kunikida probably does, even if he won’t admit it. (Nyanon, 1/5)

Though he does have to admit that being Worried about a coworker making Atsushi go Squish is a bit too much stress, so he’ll have to deal with the short period of time he has to get an Excuse to pull out the tiny workplace. But moving on LUCY AND ATSUSHI ARE GREAT AND IM ETERNALLY MAD WE DONT GET MORE INTERACTIONS WITH THEM, I wanna see them dorking off togetherrr- And just bonding in general, there’s potential there! It needs using!!! But yeah, she would be. SO MAD. (Nyanon, 2/5)

That the ADA pulled that, even if it was unintentional, and Lucy is definitely the sort who is Always ready to fight, so SHES gonna wanna meet them in the Denny’s parking lot at three am, even if Atsushi says it isn’t a big deal (two be honest these two WILL go feral for each other, not in a romantic way but both of them will brush off being stabbed unless you also stab the other and it’s great, do you know what I mean). I’m torn on what comfort food they’d make though? (Nyanon, 3/5)

I mean, ochazuke. Obviously- But what’s Lucy’s favorite food? Does she have one??? Hm... Well, either way, I bet she makes cute latte art on coffee for them! They probably curl up in a pile of blankets and pillows and stuffed animals and cuddle. Listen if I have to experience the Feelings, so! Do! You!!! That aside, onto another Dazatsu Concept- Which might also be an AU, I guess: So, I’ve gone down the hole of yanderes! (Nyanon, 4/5)

And that made me think of when there was discussion of Dazai taming his own Yandere tendencies, which gave me an idea- What if a self aware, Yandere Dazai had to protect Atsushi from another Yandere character, who had no qualms with doing whatever they felt necessary to get Atsushi? I feel there would be much shenaniganry with Dazai having to play keep away, both darker and funnier. (Nyanon, 5/5)

tbh i would love to have an au where mori is dazais dad and is actually a very caring dad buT THATS JUST ME WANTING EVERYONE IN A SHOW BEING A NICE PERSON AWOWHEJKLSDs

IM ALSO MAD ATSUSHI AND LUCY DONT GET INTERACTIONS TOO LIKE PLS IM BEGGING I WANNA SEE MORE </3 theyre just THAT good and protective of each other and about lucy’s favourite food. Hm . godamn. i read about the real life author a bit and she loves nature so i think lucy would love to just. eat a whole platter of fruit if that makes sense?? i think her love language is cutting up fruit and atsushi cuts up all the fruits she wants when shes in a bad mood UGH (and yes i am well aware, i also feel the same, if i have to experience feelings so do YOUUU)

G O D YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT IDEA OF YANDERE DAZAI IT JUST. WOW <3333 ITS MY FAVOURITE THING EVER

but hmmm if he meets with another yandere that cant control themselves what would he do?? i feel like dazai would DEFINITELY at first run a background check on the person, look for where they live, their social medias, and observe the person. at first atsushi wont notice that something is off with the person until he starts getting uncomfortable (but cant say anything cus he keeps brushing it off)

and dazai is the one to tell him that the person is being creepy which atsushi then agrees a bit and dazai just thinks “two can play this game” . i feel like there would be a scene where dazai literally stalks the yandere and meets them one on one to give them a fair warning

[minijenn]

And now, cause im bored, here's every chapter of Keys briefly summed up in just a few words each (possible spoilers ahead??)

Prologue: The Thirteen Keys: MoM fucks with his students, what else is new

Chapter 1: Remaining Recusant: Riku rescues his boyfriend through the power of Gay

Chapter 2: To Guard the Light: Bunch of boring lore but Sokai makes it worth it

Chapter 3: To Seek the Darkness: Organization shenanigans; Vanitas divorces his shitty, abusive not-dad

Chapter 4: Hero to Zero: Uhhhhh fuckin' Hercules or somethin idk

Chapter 5: Go the Distance: Rage Mode angst is Fun

Chapter 6: Wandering in the Dark: Riku gets a haircut in the Realm of Darkness and Sora really needs to stop lying to everyone

Chapter 7: Promising Beginnings: Kairi and Lea are forced to wear a "get along" shirt

Chapter 8: Lazy Afternoon Streets: Sora has an Identity Crisis part 1

Chapter 9: At Dusk: YA STUPID ORG XIII FUCKHEADS BEST LEAVE MY SON ALONE OR ELSE ILL THROW HANDS

Chapter 10: Sinister Whispers: ^^^ BASICALLY THAT AGAIN ONLY I MEAN IT THIS TIME

Chapter 11: You've Got a Friend in Me: Being a living toy has gotta create some sorta existential crisis, right?

Chapter 12: To Infinity and Beyond: JEN IS GONNA THROW HANDS WITH YOUNG XEHANORT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM

Chapter 13: Chase the Shadows: Detectives Mickey and Riku play a round of "Where's Terra?" And fail miserably

Chapter 14: Paradise Found: Fun with Balloons and Grumpy Geriatrics

Chapter 15: Adventure is Out There: Sora may or may not fall to his death from ridiculously high up in the air i dont fuckin know

Chapter 16: Unspoken, Unheard: Kairi writes Sora a bunch of letters cause she loves him so much but wont say it cause she shy ahah

Chapter 17: How Far I'll Go: MOANA AND SORA ARE MY NEW BROTP

Chapter 18: Know Who You Are: Vanitas gets yeeted by the Ocean cause he a naughty boyo

Chapter 19: The Streets of San Fransokyo: Sora doesnt understand how Technology works what else is new?

Chapter 20: Immortals: everything's all fun and games until Sora's dumbass self-sacrifical complex kicks in (again)

Chapter 21: Depths of Despair: LOOKS LIKE I GOTTA THROW HANDS WITH MALEFICENT NOW TOO

Chapter 22: Rise and Fall and Rise Again: Sora and Kairi hang out and DAMMIT JUST KISS ALREADY YOU DORKS

Chapter 23: The Lost Empire: Lingering Will pops in to say hi and also uhhhh whatever the fuck happens in Atlantis goes down idk

Chapter 24: Where the Dream Takes You: Sora may or may not have PTSD, boi should probs go see a therapist

Chapter 25: Drowning in Darkness: Aqua throws hands then proceeds to get Norted

Chapter 26: I See the Light: Basically KH3's take on Corona but things actually make sense this time

Chapter 27: What Once Was Mine: In which that bit from KH3 where Marluxia knocks Sora out actually leads to some legit payoff smh

Chapter 28: Firsthand Experience: Kairi and Lea take a trip to Disney World and yeet Vanitas (again) right the fuck outta there

Chapter 29: The World Es Mi Familia: Being an (unliving) skeleton also is bound to raise an existential crisis, right?

Chapter 30: Recuérdame: I cry while writing this chapter, both for my baby Xion and because Coco is just that damn tearjerking

Chapter 31: Destined Reunion: ALL THE POLY DESTINY TRIO FEELS

Chapter 32: Something There: At this point even Riku be lookin at Sora and Kairi and shouting "KISS ALREADY YOU ADORABLE DORKS"

Chapter 33: Tale as Old as Time: Sora commits an Actual Murder (am i kidding? Who knooooows)

Chapter 34: The Realm of Darkness: DARK AQUA CAN STEP ON MAH FACE IMO

Chapter 35: Rise to the Light: Great, now Aqua has PTSD too, thanks for nothin, Mickey

Chapter 36: Return to Depart: Sora has another Identity Crisis, part 2

Chapter 37: Broken Chains: Vanitas challenges Sora and Ven to a fight in the Denny's parking lot and fucking loses what else is new

Chapter 38: So This is Love: YES THEY FINALLY KISSED THOSE DORKS

Chapter 39: Almost There: Frogs and also like... Voodoo and so many BBS callbacks so damn many

Chapter 40: Dig a Little Deeper: Sora is too damn stubborn to admit he needs help what else is new

Chapter 41: Follow the Light: Wayfinder Family Reunion saves my life

Chapter 42: Solving Mysteries, Rewriting History: Sora and Goofy meet Donalds family (who then proceed to take the piss outta Donald cause this is Ducktales fam why wouldnt they)

Chapter 43: The Other Promise: Sora has yet another Identity Crisis, part 3

Chapter 44: Vector to the Heavens: Sora and Roxas drink their "Respect and Protect Xion" juice

Chapter 45: Another Arabian Night: Sora, Roxas, and Xion fuck around in a B-list Disney Direct to Video Sequel

Chapter 46: Out of Thin Air: GONNA THROW HANDS WITH XEHANORT HIMSELF THIS TIME AROUND GET AWAY FROM MY SON YA OLD FUCKHEAD

Chapter 47: Alone on the Run: Sora has a Bad Time, Riku and Kairi also have a Bad Time, generally everyone has a Bad Time

Chapter 48: Trust No One: Ven and Roxas add onto the never ending Twin Pile that apparently exists in Gravity Falls

Chapter 49: Not What He Seems: I KNOW ITS NOT UF BUT LOOKS LIKE I GOTTA THROW HANDS WITH BILL CIPHER ANYWAY SOMEHOW

Chapter 50: A Heart Torn Between: Vanitas learns that Girls exist while Sora continues to have a Very Bad Time

Chapter 51: Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride: Riku's goin on a twink hunt, and dont think he dont know how to weeeeed em out

Chapter 52: Aloha 'Oe: Sora and Riku get into a bit of a lover's spat dont worry about it its nothin serious dont worry about it

Chapter 53: Treasured Memories: Namine is the Very First Person Ever to tell Vanitas he has emotional issues, its about damn time

Chapter 54: Let It Go: KAIRI'S FUCKIN PISSED SHE GONNA BRING HER DAMN DUMBASS WAYWARD BOYFRIEND HOME ALREADY DAMN also Sora hangs out with Elsa i guess

Chapter 55: Love Will Thaw: KAIRI KICKS EVERYONES ASSES INCLUDING SORA'S CAUSE LIKE I SAID SHES FUCKIN PISSED

Chapter 56: Back Into the Fold: Sora doesnt have an Identity Crisis anymore but he sure as hell has Anxiety now, part 4

Chapter 57: Farewell to the Wood: Absolute tone whiplash, brought to you by Winnie the Pooh and Sora's ongoing Existential Crisis too

Chapter 58: Link to All: Everyone just cries a lot for an entire chapter cause they all know they boutta fuckin dieeeee

Chapter 59: Face My Fears: I systematically rip every single one of our protagonists hearts out and stomp on each of them with no remorse whatsoever

Chapter 60: Fragments of Light: The B-Squad saves the day

Chapter 61: The Thirteenth Vessel: Sora hangs out with his New Fam, otherwise known as Organization XIII, family fun ensues and it totally isnt a massive angstfest i dont know what you mean

Chapter 62: Key to the Heart: Riku and Kairi throw hands with their boyfriend while also trying to save their boyfriend it makes sense if ya dont think about it

Chapter 63: The Final World: Sora is McFuckin dead and chilling in heaven with a cute baby plushie cat (hey its not a spoiler if KH3 did it first)

Chapter 64: At Daybreak: "But Jen, if you hate KHX so much then why do you keep making so many references to it???" BECAUSE THATS WHY NOW SHUT UP

Chapter 65: The Keyblade War: Keyblade Fight Club, either you Die or you DIE

Chapter 66: Clash of Light and Darkness: Bunch of teenagers throw hands with some bald old fuckhead, but in the end nobody wins except me

Chapter 67: Kingdom Hearts: You know you're in for something fucking nuts when the chapter title is named after the entire series

Chapter 68: The King and the Crown: Jen pulls off a plot twist so mind blowingly ridiculous that it would probably make Tetsuya Nomura blush

Chapter 69: Reconnect: Everyone has a happy ending except no not really i lied

Chapter 70: Don't Think Twice: Oops I Lied again :)

Epilogue: Dearly Beloved: Fuck KH3's ending this is my new canon now

[xxsanshinexx]

4, 5, 6, 8, 11, 12, 13, 18, 19 for our fun sleepover!! -🌺

Hehe that’s nearly the whole list! I’m gonna add a read more to this because I’m going to give some in depth answers lol

4:  who’s the funniest member and why?  

This is a hard one cause I think they’re all hilarious but its between Felix, Jeongin, and Jisung ugh and Seungmin too. Felix just has that natural humor that’s really fun and he’s someone who always makes me chuckle. Jisung cause he’s just so all around with his humor? It’s like he’s bouncing off the walls and I just find that funny. Then Jeongin and Seungmin have a similar brand of humor, with their mean little one liners and just overall being pieces of shits but i love that humor.

5:  if you could spend one day with the boys where would you take them?

I’d go somewhere like the shopping district of a city or even like a park. I feel like if you take them somewhere like that, a place where you could easily do stuff or do nothing at all, that’s where they’ll thrive. Seeing the street version mv’s and stuff kinda makes me feel like they’ll be fun to hang around anywhere, and they’re way of relaxing is just being together and having a good laugh. So either a park or city district, or even a beach cause that might be fun. 

6:  list the animals you think suit each members personality!

This one is hard but we’ll roll with it so:

Chan: Wolf/Tiger/Kangaroo (i’m undecided on his tbh)

Woojin: Bear

Minho: Cat (for obvious reasons lol)

Changbin: A rabbit maybe? Maybe a jackrabbit specifically

Hyunjin: Everyone says llama but he’s such a puppy to me? Like a Labrador or a big dog that doesn’t know its a big dog, ya know what I mean?

Jisung: quokka

Felix: Golden retriever

Seungmin: A dog but breed is undecided. Someone compared him to a border collie and I really liked that, he’s certainly a smart breed of dog. 

Jeongin: Fennec Fox

I wanted to say someone was a platypus but I didn’t know who, I was thinking Hyunjin maybe? Idk tell me what you think.

8:  your favorite mv and why?

Oh I have literally no idea uhhhhrhhhhhh

I really like the M.I.A. video just cause it’s so simple?? And the aesthetic is just right and you can really see what the boys were feeling. Or Get Cool, it’s so upbeat and lively and they’re such dorks its incredible. I think Get Cool’s Mv might be my favorite? Ugh but like my pace and the Street version mv’s are my favorites too!

11:  member you think would look best with tattoos?

Everyone says Changbin, and no lie I think he would look great with tattoos, but I honestly think Woojin would?? Give Woojin a good neck tattoo and a sleeve and fuck we’re done for.

12:  give a nickname to each of the members!

I have a couple nicknames for some of them so I’m gonna bold my favorites

Chan: Channie // Kangaroo // Aussie Boy

Woojin: Bear // God Himself

Minho:  Minhoe

Changbin: Binnie

Hyunjin: Jinnie // Hyuney (this one only sounds good if you say it a loud lol)

Jisung: Dork // Bub // Ji // Sungie // Hannie

Felix: Meme Lord // Lix // Lixie

Seungmin: Dandy boy // Minnie 

Jeongin: fox // Jeongie // Innie

I just add ie to most of their names usually lol

13:  who would you fight in a denny’s parking lot at 3am and why?

Felix. I’ve always wanted to rock his shit for no reason whatsoever even if I love him dearly. Runner up would be Chan because I’d fight him for not taking care of himself. Ive realized I am now very agressive towards the Aussie line, maybe I should throw Hyunjin in this list too.

18:  rank the members in who would survive the longest in the hunger games!

Woojin and Seungmin would be the only ones to survive.

1/2: Woojin and Seungmin

3: Chan

4: Jisung (people really think he would die first but his dad was a jungle tour guide?? he’s bound to know some things about survival)

5: Minho

6: Felix

7/8/9/: Jeongin and Changbin and Hyunjin. Im really not sure what order they would go in. 

19:  talk about your most memorable moment being a stay!

It would probably be my first time watching Channie’s room. It was kinda indescribable to just be watching someone i admired talk so closely and intimately with his fans. It was the moment I was like “damn, i made a good choice.”

[divinedragontamer]

Permanent Relationship Ad

So, as I’m sure many of you have noticed, I’m not exactly what people might call selective. For the most part I will fling Martha at anyone and everyone who asks, and may indeed let her bully her way into the lives that don’t ask and instead brought it upon themselves simply by being mutuals. That said, I figured I ought to open way to anyone interested in actually establishing something with her. Please note that you may always feel free to throw random starters my way, or memes, or hop into my IM’s. Liking this post tells me you’re up for me doing the same, or that you’re interested in any of the below possibilities. 

Keep in mind, Martha has a very, very strong notion in her head as to how a proper Saint and Servant should act. Getting past this wall is tough goings; your options are to either work your way getting close to her or, honestly, really piss her off.

Friends/Acquaintances Easy peasy. Be polite and a good person (or at least a bad person trying their best), and you’re golden. That’s... really all there is to it in order to have Martha willing to have your back. 

Siblings Martha will ‘adopt’ nearly anyone who will let her so long as they could also fit into the first category. Need someone to take care of you in some fashion? You’re a sibling now. This includes fussing after your health, defending you to the bitter death, and putting you into the time out corner if necessary. 

Enemies Ghosts. Demons. Evildoers. People not at least willing to tolerate her religious beliefs. Martha will not hide her hatred of someone, choosing instead to wear it on her sleeves. There are certain circumstances where she must try and control her tongue, but meet her at the Denny’s parking lot and you can do some real ‘talking’ over your differences.

Sparring Partners or Competitive Souls Saints don’t fight. Ever. They’re peaceful people. But, well, if you absolutely insist that you need the practice and there’s nobody else, Martha will probably oblige. Or if you need a second player on a video game. Anything to vent her violent and competitive tendencies without actually harming anyone will be welcomed with opened arms.

Fellow Servants Want to have a predefined relationship of any of the above between your muse and Martha? Feel free! You can either just go with it (holds risk of Martha not being the one they remember), or you can shoot off an IM (holds risk of random babbling from mun).  Note: I hold a completely open policy for Servants in general to remember as much or as little about Martha as their muns decide relevant/amusing. This applies to anything that happened in Chaldea, but not in Isola.

Romantic Possibility, but convince me and be prepared for the long haul. 

Other Have an idea that’s not on here? Feel free to drop me a message! Both my inbox and IM’s are always open.

[transgirlcharlie]

Similarities between IASIP and South Park

• the "offensiveness"

both of these shows are extremely offensive and because of this, they aren't for everyone.

they both express things in extreme way cos matt, trey & rcg (also i think those 5 are similar and would be friends) don't give a shit. that can be a bad and good thing. they both have rly bad pasts, but have learned from them.

also you have to be smart to actually understand what these shows are saying with the offensiveness.

• the friendships

this is mainly just cartman's friendship to everyone else in sp, because he's the only real bad character in the main 4. but his relationships with the main 4 are very similar to the gang's relationship to each other.

he's a bad person. and he doesn't like them, but he also does. he treats them bad. but hangs out with them because no one else would agree to be his friend. that's basically the gang.

• macdennis vs kyman

this is the thing that started off me seeing the similarities. personally because my relationship with these two ships are very similar. (i didn't ship either of them btw)

this is mostly speculation and personal view. but if you agree they hate and love each other (in a way) in both ships, then that's basically what this is about.

macdennis & kyman both have one really bad person in it (cartman & dennis, ik mac is bad too but nothing compared to him) that treats the other one (kyle & mac) poorly. while they still have some sort of feelings for the other that they hide in unhealthy ways (literally abuse). and the other part of the ship (kyle&mac) also have some sort of feelings for them but also resentment.

yes, they both have some sort of feelings for each other. but that relationship would be unhealthy and they shouldn't get together.

• lgbt+ representation

the two shows are also similar in the way they have lgbt+ representation. south park have a lot of gay characters and (obviously) mac is canonly gay in sunny.

the bathroom problem episode is similar to the sp episode 'cissies'.

both episodes discussed the issue of bathrooms when it came to what is the correct way to deal with them regarding trans issues.

also in that south park episode, characters such as stan and butters weren't sure which bathroom they belonged to (male, female or other). which is similar to charlie being confused about what gender he is. "and I'm...?"

(you could also compare cartman's pretending to be trans to go in the girls bathroom to charlie wearing a dress to pee in the girl's bathroom. but imo i think cartman was being 100% malicious and im pretty sure charlie isn't cis anyway)

and extra part of this is the way they both have gender nonconforming characters. for example, butters has worn female clothing in his own time & dennis wears makeup a lot. not lgbt+ per say, but definitely a step in the right direction.

• mac's sexuality journey vs craig & tweek's

the episodes mac fights gay marriage, mac finds his pride and tweek vs craig & tweek x craig/put it down parallel each other.

they both start of 'fighting' something and then they eventually accept themselves and they are now open about who they are.

little extra stuff:

• charmac vs style: idk, theyre both the 'best friends (since childhood) to lovers' trope. i love them.

• different fans: some aren't smart enough to understand the actual message behind the episode and they watch it because they find the offensive funny. can also be called dudebros. both also have a large lgbt fanbase.

• they also tackle a lot of issues that normally shows would avoid because they just, don't care. (gun crime, trans issues, etc)

[cicadaemon-moved]

I dont like Hickey and apparently me thinking its cause he fits the Tumblr mold of problematic fave with his loose morals and bad personality is grounds for attacking me and my friend as though I am personally calling you a terrible rotten person for doing so

Look at the end of the day this isnt discourse, this is an opinion stated and if youre upset about it then Im sorry but please be civil. I think we all have that character we are willing to throw down and surprisingly its not Hickey for me. His arc was boring for me but I understand why we needed it

It’s actually Sir John I really hate. Sir John fucking sucks and I would fight him in a Denny’s parking lot beep beep bitch youre going down make that phat ass jiggle as you hit the concrete

[shtbgs-blog]

ROSALIE DENNIS looks an awful lot like AMANDA SEYFRIED. SHE is TWENTY-EIGHT and while they’re AMBITIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty ANXIOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to LIFE IS A HIGHWAY by RASCAL FLATTS.

&. SHORT INTRO

Rosalie is just the kind of girl who is trying so obnoxiously hard but still coming up short every single time.

A couple of years ago she fell in love with a boy who she thought was going to be her happily ever after ( wc ) and she honestly loved him because he was a bad!boy and then one day he was like ‘lets move to kola.’

that was five years ago, and now? he’s in jail and she’s struggling to keep her life afloat without his paychecks

she works about seven jobs, house sitting, babysitting, dog walking, over night waitress, stocking crew, so much more, poor girl is working herself to death but she can barely afford her place and her dogs and herself and she might be sending money to the boyfriend in jail

but nbd he’s getting out soon and he totally loves her!!! ( not ) 

She’s a big mood scatterbrain you’ll probably catch her rushing around with 5 dogs ( only 2 of which being hers ) rambling on about how sorry she is she forgot to call them to shift the lunch date because she’s been running so late

&. BASICS

FULL NAME: Rosalie Wiona Dennis

NICKNAMES: Rosa, Rosie, Rose, Ro.

FACE CLAIM: Amanda Seyfried

AGE: 28

SEXUALITY: pansexual

DATE OF BIRTH: December 23rd

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Female / She & Her

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: In a relationship.

OCCUPATION: Dog walker, third shift waitress, house sitter, babysitter, stocking crew for grocery store.

&. PERSONALITY

USUAL HANG OUTS: walking in the park, at the 24 hour diner, at the grocery store.

HOBBIES: working, sleeping, eating, repeating. ( im joking fight me tho )

FIVE POSITIVE TRAITS: ambitious, empathetic, honorable, practical & self-reliant.

FIVE NEGATIVE TRAITS: anxious, thoughtless, overimaginative, impulsive & foolish.

DRINKS, SMOKES, & DRUGS: yes, no & no.

&. VERSES

tba.

&. WANTED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC.

BOYFRIEND, ( wc for main ) basically the guy who she moved to Kola for four years ago and their relationship has always been rocky like he’s probably cheated on her, he’s a drug dealer and used her apartment to sell which is a big reason behind why she could afford her apartment. He went to jail for possession with intent to sell and I’ll probs send this into the main but if anyone wants to make a muse that is fresh!outta jail for some angst that’d be amazing.

PLATONIC.

BEST FRIEND, her best friend in the entire world aka the one person she spends almost every single day with when she has free time. They have known each other since she moved to Kola and it’s just cute brotp feels. Late night convos, sleepovers, friday night is wine night where they drink together and vent about their annoying lives and they help Ro from losing her mind and keep her like, grounded. They’re like the sibling she’s always wanted ( esp. w/ the sibling fights like ‘is that my shirt.’ oh GOD SHARING CLOTHES BOI!!! )

TEMPORARY ROOM MATE, while her boyfriend is in jail Ro needs someone to come thru and live with her to help with the bills. Maybe she found them off craigslist, maybe they were an old friend, whatever you want to do. She has a really nice two bedroom apartment that she’s always cleaning and barely in because she’s workin so much just to afford it fdlhfiodklaho

ENEMIES.

ugh i have no ideas right now but she can easily not get along with people so hmu

&. FILLED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC.

cesario ( @ofadorations ) we didn’t plot anything yet wtf 

PLATONIC.

help

ENEMIES.

she need some connects

[dunkalfredo]

sonic forces but its that one theory

okay so there’s that theory where like, infinite and gadget were friends pre-Forces (kinda ties into a theory about infinite’s backstory and stuff) and while i doubt that this theory is gonna happen (like im not getting my hopes up yall im just gonna go with whatever sonic team hurls at us) i wanted to have a little fun anyways bc why tf not

im developing a like. prequel based off of this theory that just follows their life up until the events of the game, but in all honesty i doubt im gonna ever do more than prewriting and planning for it so i decided to share some ideas for the two's personalities and the like.

(click keep reading to see the Things)

infinite

name never mentioned in [hypothetical story i’d write]; buddy can’t remember it during the main game due to [spoilers for hypothetical story i’d write]

all about that punk/goth aesthetic

wears the leather gloves/boots seen in-game for the drama

all his clothes have soft and comfortable material but it Must Be Black

smiles are small but have that all-encompassing warmth of true mirth

loves conspiracy theories

“i just think they’re neat”

unironically subscribes to illuminati theories

legit has a wall at home that’s like that one meme with all the connected points and shit with the dude in the middle of the shot freaking out

its really just a hobby and its very comforting to just go home and work on his theories; gets him in a zen headspace

fall is his favorite season

rainy weather = good for staying indoors with some hot tea, a soft blanket and a good book

halloween is the Best Holiday

pumpkin flavored everything

that crisp, organic smell of wet leaves, crumbling moss, and concrete cooled by rain

buddy/gadget has more of an excuse to hang out bc he’s usually in town in the fall so fall is just automatically superior

time for sweaters and punk af boots; also its finally cool enough for infinite to wear his favorite leather jacket

aspiring writer

wordy, needs to work on grounding abstractions

good sense of atmosphere

millions of story ideas but only one idea for a protag

protag is based on gadget; hasn’t told him yet

vent writes a lot

rainy weather is great x2 Bonus bc staying in and listening to the rain patter against the walls and roof while writing is such a mood

more into short stories than long narratives

bonus points if the short stories are connected tho

super bonus if its an abstract out-of-order narrative (because he’s extra like that)

quiet, reserved; secretly a snarkmaster and sarcastic

dry sense of humor

best deadpan when telling jokes, gadget busts out laughing every time

think phoenix wright’s internal monologue

way too polite; avoids conflict like the plague

will protect gadget with his l i f e

they’re fucking life partners bro they ride or they die and they do it together

there may or may not be a crush in there but shhhhh

ideal lifestyle

get a job that isn’t really his dream job but is still enjoyable and makes a comfortable salary

live in a nice apartment overlooking the cityscape

lots of houseplants

a pet fish maybe

fast wifi

walls absolutely covered with various things

posters for movies he likes

prints from local artists

photographs haphazardly pinned on top of and in between everything

a wall dedicated to his conspiracy stuff

conspiracy stuff interspersed with no rhyme or reason amongst other walls

vinyl covers

t-shirts of his favorite bands

maybe some cool lookin fabric???

time in the evening to write/read/browse the internet

gadget as a roommate

clothes that are both black and super comfy

wants to move out of rural hometown and to somewhere like seattle

plans to move out with gadget; they’re both saving up

gadget/buddy

the thematic antithesis of infinite’s aesthetic

while infinite is slow and contemplative, gadget bursts and bubbles with energy

clothes? colorful. music? cheery, peppy, lots of chiptune thrown in.

quick temper (aka will fight anyone in a denny’s parking lot at a moment’s notice)

like damn he can be an angry boi sometimes

mostly he’s just excited; he’s in general rather bombastic and immediate in his self expression

this can also translate to impatience when he wants to get on with something.

along the lines of “Cmooon its time to do things! It’s all so cool and neat but its gotta happen now!”

“lmao watch this” proceeds to do something that’s extremely dangerous and threatens life and limb, somehow survives, laughs it off and drinks some kool-aid

loves to travel

can probably speak thirty different languages at any given point, even if only in segments

expanded worldview due to Going Places and Seeing Things

to infinite: “dude you gotta like. go outside. youll get more inspiration for your writing. i just saw a guy stuff an entire corn dog down his throat before diving into a harbor and i think that just gave me a whole new outlook on life.”

favorite seasons are late spring/summer

warm

days are long

lots of sunshine

great for going outdoors and explooooring

sun feels heavenly on his fur

if he wasn’t a wolf and thus had skin he’d be a Golden Boy

that fresh cut grass smell tho

bonus points for Smokey Smell of Barbecue

everything is berry flavored

only downside is he’s usually not in town so its harder to visit infinite

hobbyist mechanic (see: nerd mechanic)

likes to recreate weapons from video games and anime

just in general likes the flashy stuff more than practical creations

often draws out blueprints for whatever fictional contraptions infinite talks about in his short stories

sometimes forgoes the electrical aspect and just outright makes final fantasy-type swords in his basement for fun

pretty happy with current life but wouldn’t mind moving out with infinite and sharing an apartment

granted an apartment wouldn’t have the room he’d need for his equipment but that’s fine as long as he’s with infinite

would probably leave the equipment back at home and travel out on weekends to do his mechanic stuff

during the week/whenever he couldn’t travel back home he’d put more focus into drawing out and selling blueprints on the internet (there’s enough space in an apartment to do that)

tactile and affectionate

is okay with rainy days when w/ infinite because guess what? time to hang out and watch netflix while they both huddle under a blanket for warmth

(gadget gets cold easily lmao)

lots of nudges, casual touch, slaps on the back, hugging, bro just wants that sweet sweet contact yo

i mean he respects people’s personal boundaries but let’s face it. if you let him He Will Sit On You

sonic is his idol

infinite doesn’t really think he’s hot shit but boy howdy gadget loves this dude.

infinite supports gadget even tho he doesn’t like sonic a whole lot bc goddammit a happy gadget is a blessing

thats about it thank u for reading

[vakariansmonocle]

To my friends

Tl;dr: im a big gay and i love all my friends so much and they have and do help me daily. I am richer for having known you.

This is an extremely long post to my friends tho. It’s pretty heavy at the beginning & end, discussing some more existential things and loss of loved ones. & how i’ve been dealing ( poorly ) with that. But, this is extremely important to me and I would tell them all these things privately, but I want this sort of immortalized on the internet, so everyone knows and can refer to this if they ever doubt themselves, or the love i have for them. if you wanna skip the heavier shit, just look for the divider & the big ol ‘so.’ <3

  The past few weeks have been something of a blur ngl. Its been emotionally taxing and its sorted of sucked. But within the last week, i sort started thinking heavily about my friendships and how much they matter. In the past month i have seen multiple posts from people who recently lost their friends and loved ones. I have seen lives taken at a young age and friendships that’ll be cherished as long as those left behind remember. Multiple times within the last month the explicit message of “Tell the people you love how much they matter to you because you don’t know when you won’t be able to again” has come around. Its a message i know well. I’ve seen my fair share of death; Countless family members passing on from old age. Other students i wanted to see grow. Friends i never got to talk to again. But that last ones always gets me the most.  

  So the past month, I have been dealing with this weight of watching people lose their loved ones left and right and always, always, taken too soon. And i watched how heavily it hung on the shoulders of those left behind. The ever present weight of a void where once there was the bright light of a person whom you loved. And it sort of tugged on my own weight in my chest. It hit that nerve that reminded me of those I’ve lost. And it, in the simplest of terms, scared me. 

Because the truth is, we don’t know when we’ll go. Or when those we love will leave us. We don’t know if one day they’ll have the courage to leave us behind, or whether they’ll leave us naturally. We don’t know who we’ll lose or when. But god i hope its never too soon. I hope to every single god and goddess and being of power that you all get to live long and joyous lives that, with or without me, are the best adventures you have. Preferably with me though, really. Being boring without each other, lets be honest.

So

 its been a month of me wanting to desperately say how much i love you all. Its been me debating if i should liam O'Brien it and make a heartfelt but weird as heck one shot for us to run just so i can tell you all you mean so very much to me, and that i am, and always will be, richer for knowing you. Though that’s still on the table really. But for now I’m writing this. To my friends. To all my friends that i have lost. To all my friends that i will make; I love you.

  To  Neah ( @therifaerie ) a constant source of good. Who has made me laugh, unknowingly, in some of my worst of times. Whom i have only known a short time, but have loved every moment of it. Who i am constantly proud of, and whose parents i would gladly fight in a dennys parking lot any day. Trust me when i say this: you’re gonna be great. You’re art is wonderful and it honestly makes me wanna draw every time i see it, and i can’t wait to see how it looks years from now. You’re gonna do great, and be great, honey. So don’t give up on that, alright? It can only get better, I promise. You deserve so much good, and you’re always a light in our lives, i love you.

 To Lucas ( @scriptuurient ) who has somehow become my other half in most things i do & just in general, really. Who means so much to me, its honestly overwhelming most days. Who i want to live with and see the world with, so we can avoid bad vibe places and count the stars together and talk about rocks when we’re tired or always.  i never thought you would stick to my lame nonsense self, because you met me in a pretty shitty place in the last year, but you’ve proven to me every day you are a light and a hand to hold when things get bad. Who i owe so many laughs to, and so much of my ability to hope to. I am so happy i know you, and I am so excited how far you go, whether it’s on earth or looking up at the sky and knowing you’re up there, literally in space on mars. You’re gonna do wonderful. Never forget to believe in yourself, or at the least, we all believe in you. I love you so much and i am so very proud of you, every day.

  To Dom ( @queerquarian ), my little brother. My best friend. The hand that has clasped my wrist to drag me back so many a time I’ve lost count. The one who has given me love and shown me kindness when i needed most. The one who i think of always as my friend, but more importantly, my family. Who has given me so much, given the world so much, and remains so bright and ever burning light to many even when they themselves are fighting off their own darkness. A constant in my life that I am so happy for, because you always bring this level of comfort i can’t explain. you are my little brother, through and through, and maybe its that love & trust i have for you that makes it so easy and comfortable to talk with you about everything and anything. I unno what it is, but god, it’s great. I’m so excited for you to grow and learn everything you want. I’m so happy i’ve gotten to see you come so far, but it’s not over yet, yea? I love you so much.

  To Michaela ( @myopicmickey​ ), the one who i fucked up with and yet still loves me, even if its just as a friend now. Who has gone through their own journey, and doesn’t know how proud i am of them every day. Who doesn’t know how grateful i am that they let me back in. Who is absolutely one of the only people allowed to punch me directly in the face because im an asshole. The one that’s been there for me multiple times, and the one who knows me probably the best. But the one i wish the most gets to see me grow and live, & that i get to see grow. In a different life, we worked out better. But I don’t regret anything with you, except fucking up of course. I hope there’s forgiveness in your heart for me, hon. You deserve better than me, deserve the world and so much more than I could ever hope to explain.  To the one i love greatly,  who is forever and always my best friend.   

And, To Rachel ( @inuyasha-amv ) the cornerstone of my day to day. Who i CONSTANTLY give shit because what else are friends for than to fuck with each other. Who has been there for me so many times when i needed someone most. Who has shown me so much kindness and love that its hard to comprehend how she does it. One of the few people who have heard me crack and crumble and fall to pieces and stayed by my side through the worst of it. The one who i owe the most to. Because without rachel, i wouldn’t know three of my best friends and i wouldn’t have more budding friendships I’m grateful for. And who i am so excited to watch grow up and finish school so she can make a difference in the world, one day at a time. The one who is constantly giving, and teaching us all to be kind ( and in general random things. ) You’re going to be great, and you know that’s what I believe. & I am so grateful to have you in my life. Just remember, I  hate you, you’re the absolute worst you dingus. Nah, i care about you a lot and don’t you ever forget it ya fucker.

  So. To my friends, my family. Who have given me so much hope and love and laughter and joy. Even if i haven’t known two of you very long, it has felt like ages. I love you all so much. And i am so proud of each and every one of you. I know for a fact i wouldn’t be here without each of you because no matter how little you think you help, you all are the foundation of why i keep going why i hold on so dearly. Because of you, i am alive and living. Maybe its not some peoples definition of living, but it is for me. You all have given me bits of hope and love and kindness that have undeniably helped with healing wounds, old and new. You all are the hands i hold, mentally of course, when i need to grab on. Every i love you and every bit of kindness you have shown me is a very loud, and very bright, double bird fuck you to the depressive thoughts that ever make me doubt it. Because i know that without this wonderful and loving family i have with you all, life would be boring, and really, not worth it. Maybe it would be just to meet another family. But i doubt i would have gotten that far or enjoy that other one nearly as much. Because you all made me realize my own worth, and gave me the support system I needed to feel like it’s worth seeing through.

  To my friends. My misfit family, found in some of my hardest years. The loves of my life. Never forget or doubt that i love you more than you can possibly ever imagine. Never forget that i am proud of you for how far you’ve all made it. Nor how excited i am to fill in chapters of my life with you all in them, how excited i am to watch your stories grow. Never forget that you all are important and mean the world to me, even in the darkest of times, i love you and i care about you. I will always be there for you, & i’ll never stray too far. Because you are never alone, for i am always with you.