#but im afraid my writing abilities arent as good
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sillypiddle-blog · 5 months ago
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i wish more people made puf fics but everytime someone makes a new fic its either extremely shitty bokacsek with questionably sexual lgbt stereotypes or Everyone Hates Everyone Yet Theyre Together Anyway (trademark) Is it really so hard to have a fic where the gang goes to the beach together like THE 14 YEARS OLDS THEY ARE and makes sand castles but ohh shit! feri áts is there but Hes not that bad actually And look at that sick surf board woah!!! hes really fuckin thr waves up over there haha- oh wait oh holy fuck holy shit hes fallen. is he ok? idk lets see? yeah hes alright haha just a fall. just a little slipup. cool guys can slip too it seems! nemecsek doesnt have any snacks :-( but its ok because csele brought a whole pantry! because hes rich. boka has homemade guacamole :3 csónakos brought junk food! they all share.... kolnay's glasses got sandy and hes upset because he cant see anything (barabás is at fault here) but its ok because bárabas apologizes and cleans the glasses with him :-).... áts tells a scary story! everyones super spooked. boka says ghosts arent real but after goimg to the bathroom he gets super spooked but then nemecsek comes too and hes like "are u ok?" and bokas like "im a little scared actually. stuff. sad." and they embrace! wow! now isnt this just lovely. isnt this just great. ha ha. NOW GET READY FOR CSELNAKOS SEX FIC HAHAHAHA. HAHAHA. IM GOING TO RIP MY TEETH OUT!!!!!! /neg
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andragoras-in-vanity · 3 years ago
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🩸🌹🩸Valentine's day asks 🩸💗🩸 bloodsoaked edition🩸🌹🩸 (I know I probably asked you some of these before but hopefully they're fun to think about again 🧛‍♀️)
3. favorite love song? 6. Sexual/romantic orientation? 7. Poems or love letters? 11. Dinner date or brunch date? 12. Favorite flowers? 13. Favorite perfume/cologne? 14. Favorite candle scent? 17. Most attractive thing a person could wear? 22. Fictional crushes?
24. What makes you blush?
30. Prefer to charm or be charmed?
47. Do you think about love a lot?
ooo!!!! (if you did its okay, i dont mind and my taste change rapidly)❤���🍓❤️
3. changes DAILY, but probably screaming bloody murder by sum 41 or candy by the blasting company at the moment
6. bi....ish???? (technically??? but also...men good.... masculinity..yes)
7. love letters without contest unless the lemony snicket "i love you like misfortune loves orphans" piece counts as poetry
11. ooooo brunch
12. carnations, peonies, lily of the valley, and pale pink roses (and all the wildflowerssss)
13. death and decay from lush 🙃 its just so pretty and me, i dont know amy colognes but old spice is always a good choice
14. anything woodsy like myrrh
17. hmmmm we love a good button up and waistcoat/tie combo paired with stompy work boots (leather jacket and rolled up sleeves optional, and rings....)....on me tho anything flowy that shows off my collarbones or cropped to show off my hips and belly
22. hmmm i dont know if i have any rn that arent the obvious mr darcy, mr Knightley, or henry tilney beyond characters of my own making
24. kindness, interest in me and mine, hANDS., SHOULDERS, chivalry, musical ability, powerful but not threatening energy especially if that person has decided to engage with me and just overall are better looking than me and competent too. the idea that someone might ever actually worry about me or be afraid of living a day without me, or that they'd understand me and help me when im at my limits .....that theres someone who might read all those letter i write and then seal until i am loved some day....
or just an acknowledgement that im a human worth as much as anyone else, but that can be from anyone. or being told im pretty which is a lie but feels nice
30. i charm others fairly easily when im able to block out my thoughts of myself but i dont enjoy it, id rather someone charm me instead, be worth the effort in their eyes
47. every second of every day for my entire life
💕❤️🍓❤️💕 thanks hiero 💕❤️🍓❤️💕
#💚💚💚💚💚 thank you johnnnn#ask game#ahaha 47 was insulting thanks#yes its all i think about its all ive ever thought about#and aside from a comfortable pretty home its all ive wanted#but i have not a home nor have i been lucky enough to date or even crush and even now i dont even have understanding or compassion#long post#so yeah#every wish ive ever made since i was 7 stars snow eyelashes everything just for my person#so i can know what effort is like and gentleness and understanding and a willingness to accomodate#and never get mad at me unless i deserve it#and im not selfish thats not only why i want it i want to give what o have ro#im useless to this world but i could be adoring and wonderful to someone if i could click with them and theyd choose me#i know im so much work and probably more than whats worth it but id love them so much#and i just want someone fucking handsome and beautiful and breathtaking to give all of myself to#i want to share my life and theirs and i want to deal with things together no matter what happens#and i want to build a beautiful warm home together that will be OURS#and right now i dont even have MINE and i never will unless i meet that sweet good person that i mso scared is just a fantasy#but anyway#yes i think about love a whole lot and my heart is in constant agony#especially having been denied the very basic idea of it as a teen when everyone else was experimenting and no one wanted me#but does it even matter if so few of them were attractive to me anyway? idk but it still aches#even when you know they wee stupid games for teens it still hurts when the one time you tried you ended up with someone#who happily called you a couple then never wanted to show it or spend time with you in public#still regret letting that fuck feel me up but im the best he'll ever get close to so anywah#yeah i feel stuck at about 19 cause of that but also i believe in real love anyway so i never wanted to lock myself into a time waster#ive only ever wanted security and permanence and romance my whole life#i think i want a fantasy but i cant give up hope i dont know what id do or if i could#ive tried and everyone tells me i dont need it but thats because theyve had it#and anyway yeah i think about it a lot and it hurts my heart may never mend if i cant meet this man soon
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yourclownpal · 4 years ago
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A comprehensive list of all my Ghost au's
this post will be talking about all of the ghost au's ive created or co-created including talking about ghost au's from old fandom's that i am no longer in. if you want to ask about any of my au's my ask box and dm's are always open this includes the hermitcraft au but keep it to a minimum please also if any of the creator's of the characters have said that they arent comfortable with what im making ( with proof ofc) i will edit or delete what is needed to fit in the boundaries also another thing this is a long post if you just want the art go under the cut! this post will discuss how each au works and basic plot stuff about them the fandoms in this post are hermitcraft, epithet erased, and dsmp okay first things first-
my hermitcraft au (what a pity)-
On my old tumblr account I made a few posts about it along with a fanfic which never got finished due to me not wanting to interact with the fandom any more due to personal reasons and also I'm not very good at writing imo but I think I'm ready to talk about it again. Just keep in mind i will most likely not talk about this fandom ever again at least not on here again for personal preference : -) it was about season 6 Grian since he was who i was hyperfixating on at the time, being haunted by the ghosts of Sam and Taurtis, both of them from the old roleplay series' Yandere High School, and Tokyo Soul, and taurtis from Grians old-ish smp Evo. Since I never finished the fanfiction nobody but me and close friends ever got to hear the full story i had planned but now you will i guess. It was mainly just grian stressing about Sam and Taurtis being ghosts and him worrying about being crazy, though he would still join the hippies during the area 77 war he would be significantly more stressed especially when finding out that Sam and Taurtis have been possessing his body during the night, he’s more worried about Sam though because of his track record back in the other servers( yhs and ts) it was going to be that Sam (although death isn't permanent) would go on a killing spree in Grians body which would cause the area 77 guys to put him in the facility to see what's going on with him, and it didn't get further then that. My favorite part of this au much like all of my au’s were the design elements i had for it which i'll have under the cut with the other designs. Now for a rundown of how the ghost physics work in this world, in typical ghost fashion Sam and Taurtis were not able to touch or move anything, but they were able to interact with Grian, him being the only person who could see/hear/or touch them. Their only super natural abilities is being able to possess Grian.
Okay! Time for my Epithet Erased au!: Unlike what a pity this one doesn't have a name or a fanfic to go with it as said before i'm not exactly a writer but i have talked about it a bit before on this account along with posting the designs and general concept but i'll go more in depth here! As said in my original post this au was a co-creation with my best friend and sibling @brocolibean so go check bun out ^^ Unlike ‘What a Pity’ it was more lighthearted and comedy centric because it dealt with a bit more and also the original show is a comedy. This au didn't include the character’s epithets so they are all humans. This will also include talking about house each ghost died so if your uncomfortable hearing about that you might want to skip the ghosts portion Just like the original post I'll separate the story summary into 3 parts with intervals in between to talk about the ghosts. First we have the Banzai boys part of the story. Giovanni, Spike, Dark Star, Crusher, Flame Thrower, Car Crash, and Ben all decide to move into a house together so they could all easily split the rent since its close to their collage, the house, which they get for cheap, is aa very old house with sketchy history. But it's a huge house for cheap so they don't complain they encounter the ghosts very early on living in the house and they swear to figure out how they died so they can get their memory back! The ghosts, Molly, Sylvie, Trixie, and Pheonica have no memory! All they know is that there are ghosts! They are connected to the property of this house but if you where to get something- like perhaps a stone from the property the ghost is still technically attached to it therefore the ghost can go with you anywhere Speaking of- -Phoenicia Fleecity is one of the last ghosts to show herself, her body is found in the overgrown garden flowers growing over her skeleton, she is from the victorian era making her the oldest out of the ghosts though he death is the most mysterious -Molly Blindeff is the first ghost the group meets her decomposed body is found buried in the floorboards of the living room, found when gio decided that the house needed renovation and taking matters into his own hands, she died via blunt force trauma i will not be going into detail here because i'm still thinking of doing something with this au she died in the early 2000’s -Sylvester Ashling is the second ghost to show himself though he didn't want to, his body was found in the bottom of the pond in the backyard of the house in the garden. His body while it was decomposing and falling apart was still intact, bloated from drowning. Again i wont go into detail but this wasn't an accident time of death is unknown -Trixie Roughhouse is the third person to show themselves to the Banzai Blasters she is found in the bushes in the backyard her face disfigured from some sort of explosion unlike the others it seems like it was purely an accident, like sylvie their time of death is unknown Mera Salamin is the collages part time librarian nicknamed “the library witch” she started seeing her ghost after obtaining a neck bow with a blue pendant from a pawnshop she got it cause it was pretty and didn't expect a himbo to come along with it -Indus Tarbella is a ghost who is attached to the pendant and bow Mera wear it used to be his own until he was decapitated wearing it through he was properly buried he has no troublesome memories about what happened even after seeing his body he’s just happy to be with Mera Percival King is a security guard at the college and one of the best at that, she wields a story she got from a pawn shop as its her preferred weapon she takes her job very seriously -Ramsey and Zora both died by the same sword while fighting neither remember who wielded the sword, even after death they hate each other and hate being bound together even more Everyone ends up meeting and finding out they all have ghost hijinks ensue. The way ghosts work in this world is a bit strange I'll admit but it's one of my favorites. The ghosts can interact with the human world(menma style) but
they can only talk to the others who can see them (the Banzai Blasters, mera and percy) and the ghosts can interact with each other ghosts in this au attach themselves to an item or property that has someway to do with their death, the kids in the property, Indus it's the bow, and the sword duo is well, the sword Percy carries. As alluded to from before Gio and the rest of the boys end up carrying a bit of the property with them in the form of friendship bracelets four for each of them which makes 28 different bracelets so the kids can decide who to follow around for the day.i talked about how percy and Mera’s items work enough but i would like to mention that Indus does most of the heavy lifting around the library but becaus enoone else can see indus they assume she’s magical, the glowing pendant doesn't help.
The last two au’s i want to talk about are both dream smp au’s
though i've never talked about them online until now, again thanks to @brocolibean for letting me brain vomit my way through these au’s and helping me out with things i love them please check him out I'll be honest i'm so scared of this fandom so i'm afraid to talk about my au’s please be nice to me Also this is all roleplay and fiction!<3 The first one i'll talking about is the dsmp ghost hunters au Sam runs a company where groups of people hunt ghosts for money! Those groups being Phil, Technoblade, Wilbur,Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo Dream, George, Sapnap, Quackity, Karl Bad, ant, Skeppy, and Puffy There’s most likely more but there the only people i can think of at this moment The only canonical ghost being Schlatt This au doesn't have a proper story perse it's more about gags and stuff about the different character fighting over ghosts for money but the story stuff i do have- Sbi family dynamic is real here you can rejoice, Phil adopts Tubbo after his dad (Schlatt) kicks the bucket and fucking dies , Tubbo befriend’s Ranboo some mysterious teen who just desperately needs a job so he- and the rest of the Minecraft family help him get one- though they find out Ranboo isnt as human as he was made out to be and he finds out he’s this worlds version of angels called ender’s and he’s there to protect Tubbo and Tommy which explains why the more violent ghosts start being less violent at the arrival of Ranboo joining their team. Bad isn't human either being a demon his entire group know’s plus quackity. Quackity found out but squirting him with holy water through a water gun but don't worry he promised not to tell anyone; -) Bad and Ranboo know about each other because they see each other as their true forms The minecraft fam found out about Schlatt being a ghost through Tommy- despite Tubbo telling him not to- telling them from calling up and paying for them to investigate their own house saying “technically i didn't tell them” they ended up not getting rid of Schlatt though I'm not going to talk about how the ghosts here work because it's not super important to the plot
The second au is another ghost au where the main characters are ghosts themselves,
like the others its mainly lighthearted and comedic with dark attributes The plot surrounds the sbi family moving into a new house and Tommy finding out it's being haunted by two ghost’s. Those ghosts being Tubbo and Ranboo This au isn't fully figured out but I know that he found out he was haunted by sending a selfie to someone(possibly Drista and Purpled? Since there are only other minors who were part of the dsmp lore? But ultimately idk) and them being like “yo i didn't know you had friends” and him being like “?????” Tubbo died from a boiler exploding and Ranboo died from drowning (which are apparently my two favorite deaths) this also doesn't have an official story? It was just an excuse to make ghost designs with a bit of a story without the commitment As said before it's a sbi au but also a Dadschlatt au cuz I like Dadschlatt au’s. The main story bits i have are background stuff for Tubbo and Ranboo which ill elaborate now The house was originally meant to be just a summer home because it had a large lake in the backyard Ranboo’s family would go there often but that doesn't mean his family liked him very much because of his heterochromia, Vitiligo, and his height his family thought he was strayed from god and drowned him Tubbo died during sleep while Schlatt wasn't home either out drinking or just at work he came home to the house being partially blown up and his son nowhere to be seen he calls Puffy out of fear and she calls the cops. He moves away and most likely starts drinking a bit more. The house gets rebuilt and now the sbi live there hijinks ensue! The ghosts in this au work in a simpler manor only Tommy can see them unless a photo is taken but even then they are blurred, they can float and go through walls and their ability to touch things is limited Ranboo’s memory is worse then Tubbo’s but Tubbo’s isn’t much better.
below the cut will be designs and stuff be safe pal's- there will be minor/cartoony blood-
rip me exposing my old art on this account also i'm ripping these from my fucking amino account that i don't use but still have the password too
gonna do the original what a pity drawins first them ill show a more recent rendition because i hate the old drawings
these are the old drawins i hate them
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then,,, i just drew them,,,,, fuck these guys/j
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thses are the old sprite edits of these four! trixies design is the only one that really changed
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the ded;-; i couldnt fit him on the page
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there he is! ft indus and very much alive mera(who i cant figure out how to FUCKING DRAW-)
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gay's get wilbur'd/j
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they lookin for ghosts
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the whole fmaily is here but its quality is shit
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these bitches dead! good for them,,, good for them,,,,,,/j/rp
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somnilogical · 5 years ago
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im having a convo and the convo is babies
Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis:
is it OK to have babies if you do embryo selection (https://www.gwern.net/Embryo-selection) and raise them to be an FAI researcher (https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/07/31/book-review-raise-a-genius/)??
somni:
like if someone actually had a plan for FAI that involved this, okay. but rn time is too short imo. when i first heard people were having babies i was confused and assumed they were going to harvest the DNA of the best FAI researchers, someone would decide to grow a baby inside them, someone who discounted their ability otherwise to save the world except via this or thought this was a sacrifice worth making for the world would decide to raise this human.
the human can access information about the state of the world and make their own choices. wont necessarily become an FAI researcher.
used to think that intelligence was the main bottleneck on FAI research no longer think this. you could talk with terry tao for hours about the dangers of the wrong singleton coming to power but unless you have made some advances i have not, i wouldnt expect to be able to align him with FAI research. he would continue to put as much resistance to his death and the death of everyone as a pig in human clothing. he would continue to raise his babies and live in a house with someone he married and write about applying ergotic theory to the analysis of the distribution of primes and understanding weather patterns.
similarly, i dont think culture is a sufficient patch for this. think its a neurotype-level problem where a bunch of >160 iq humans hear about the dangers of UFAI and then continue to zoom quickly and spiral in to being ultra efficient at living domestic lives and maybe having a company or something but not one that much affects p(FAI). think this would still happen if they heard about it from a young age, they would follow a similar trajectory but with FAI themed wallpaper. wouldnt be able to do simple utilitarian calculations like yudkowsky, salamon, vassar, tomasik about whether to have a baby and then execute on them.
would look more like: http://www.givinggladly.com/2013/06/cheerfully.html
FAI research is not an ordinary profession like, say, being a grandmaster at chess or a world-class mathematician; it requires people who have passed through far more gates than "intelligence". i didnt notice this until coming to the rationalist community and finding a high density of intelligent humans who were none-the-less chronically making the wrong choices such that they werent much of an impediment against the destruction of all life.
so right now it seems more efficient to select among existing people for intelligence + other requirements rather than work out what all the genes for this are and how to speedrun development. what this enables is parallel processing on the problem which is also allowed by letting people be aware of their relative psychological advantage, other people with this advantage, and the state of the world so they can correlate computations in parallel instead of doing things serially after learning of some advance.
https://puzzling.stackexchange.com/questions/16/100-prisoners-names-in-boxes
not opposed to creation of many humans given can select on right traits. but given you have these traits, better use of your time to work directly on the thing than spend massive amounts of time and life reorientation on raising copies of you for ~14 years. if rapid cloning tech became available, would exploit that. would even have an idea of whether the clone is fine being part of this because they have very similar brain to someone who can think through whether they would be fine with it.
if people actually believed this and thought yudkowsky vitally important for the survival of the world, why didnt people coordinate for a bunch of people who thought it was a good tradeoff to have yudkowsky's baby 20 years ago and then we would have maybe 50 20-year-old humans with maybe 1/2 yudkowsky's neurotype + mutations now? this actually confuses me. maybe they thought the timelines too short back then. maybe they refrained for "optics".
molebdenita:
20 years ago Yudkowsky was 1) unconcerned about the alignment problem and 2) planning to create a super-intelligent AI by 2010, as far as I know.
[A/N so then change 2000 to 2005 and 20-year-old to 15-year-old]
...
somni:
<<in general i think it's -EV to even spend too much time thinking about TDT
because it opens you up to acausal blackmail type stuff>>
Just Say No to acausal blackmail and have your brain back for thinking. dont let blackmailers steal your brain.
<<Saying that having a child is somehow wrong is insanity. It's a personal decision and it is perfectly okay to want kids>>
people keep reframing what i say in the language of obligation. "altruists cant have kids?" "is it OK to have babies if". there is no obligation, there is strategy and what affects p(fai). having kids and reorienting your life around them is 1 evidence about your algorithms 2 your death as an optimizing agent for p(fai) except maybe some contrived plot involving babies, but afaict there is no plot. just the reasons humans usually have babies.
not having kids is not some sort of mitzvah? i care about miri/cfar's complicity in the baby-industrial complex and rerouting efforts to save the world into powering some kind of disneyland for making babies, to sustain this. because that ruins stuff, like i started out thinking that bay area rationalists probably had deeply wise reasons to have babies. but it turned out nope, they kinda just gave up.
like also would say playing videogames for the rest of your life wont usually get you fai. i dont get why everyone casts this as a new rule instead of a comment on strategy given a goal of p(fai).
ah i know, its because people can defend territory in "is it okay to have kids" like "yeah i can do whatever" when they reframe-warp me to giving them an obligation. but have no defensible way to say "my babyvault will pierce the heavens and bring god unto the face of this earth" or argue about the strategic considerations.
(its not defensible because its not true. i mean i guess it is defensible among julia wise's group of humans.)
Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis:
ugh, you're right, I definitely screwed up by phrasing my question as "is it OK to have babies if [...]"
...
ohAitch:
if you want existential horror wrt damaging motivation, just read http://www.paulgraham.com/kids.html
...
somni:
<<http://www.paulgraham.com/kids.html>>
humans can completely rebase their circuits through that if they want to if it were important to save the world.
like ive rebase my circuits to stab myself downstream of updating that it reduces braindamage with little harm to me. where before i felt nauseated and saw black spots and broke out in sweat. after updating, none of this.
humans can do this with all sorts of things. like learn how to read and then feel sad when seeing squiggles on a page, its about what things mean.
people who dont believe this are like "its an automatic physiological reaction to stabbing yourself, you are its prisoner!!!" but i deleted it.
dirk:
ooh, tips?
silver-and-ivory:
I stopped having ocd about touching tags (like, on clothing?) in ~a week through p standard exposure therapy things
reminding myself that it wasn't based in fact, changing my self image so it was of someone who might be seen with tags, imagining various scenarios related to that
before that week it had been a thing for virtually my entire life
it doesn't work if you're scared of something that's actually a thing to be scared of though
somni:
i looked at all my feedback loops that had a node in "pain" and rebased them into outcomes in the world. i disassembled everything the act of stabbing myself meant and all the damage it did to my body what it meant to have brain damage everything that would do, the hole i made in this body i live in and everything that would do, what air bubbles would do, what injecting into a vein would do, what the probability the needle breaks in my leg was, probability of worldsave given braindamage vs not, gathered this up and held it all in my mind over the course of two hours and then made a choice and then as if by automatic my hand took a needle and stabbed myself.
<<as if by automatic>>
is the feeling of no more marginal considerations, there is one path. of choicelessness because you made your choice.
didnt feel like deleting, felt like draining the life from indecision via reductionism. taking things apart piece by piece.
when you can continually rebase your structure so you orient towards world outcomes instead of being prisoner to existing structure like "i cant help having babies im miserable if i dont, im a baby addict" or "i cant help being afraid of needles". like the human brain is two optimizing agents continually making contracts with each other, there arent things outside this. you are an optimizing agent, "fear of needles" is a heuristic that helps with optimization, so is "baby addiction".
when you actually have a setup where you can instantly rebase what you like and dislike and your aesthetics upon updating on the state of the world, people start to find this a little unnerving. like someone once asked what level of roleplay i was on.
also the agents of the matrix dont like when you cant be in-principle controlled by a wireheady glitch. like being able to operate independently of social reality.
updating off of local derivatives¹ of social reality is common redirection. another common one is updating off of "pain" instead of damage.
but you can take all these choices where you used nodes as proxies to regulate them and rebase your loop off of the real world, when the proxies are faulty.
rose:
(i think i understand this thing? though ironically i think i did this in the exact opposite way as what you describe lol)
(also wrt pain its important to remember when modifying that pain can be a signal of damage even if you don't think you should be hurt/dont see why you would be)
...
somni:
yeah i account for everything and see if it goes away. which, its true that my models could be missing stuff but like pain is also a model of things. feels like giving new information not overriding.
rose:
yeah i think you would do this reasonably i have just made that mistake and thought readers might too
dirk:
ironically remembering that pain is a signal of damage has actually tended to make me more afraid of nondamaging pain (though i rather fail to go about knowing things in an at all reasonable way lol)
modlibdenita:
>Babies are not about saving the world, babies are moloch
Wait, isn't the definition of Moloch sacrificing everything else you care about in a desperate race for survival?
Also, genes encode proteins, not traits.
And I think it's likely that people decide to have children because they don't have complete confidence that they will personally save the world real soon, not because they identify as "baby addicts".
s0ph1a:
Moloch is sacrificing all values to one value.
modlibdenita:
I wonder if Somni has actually talked to any of those babyhavers, instead of attributing arguments from random internet strangers or from Somni's imagination to them. On the other hand, I'm not sure that such a conversation would be ethical.
>Moloch is sacrificing all values to one value.
Yeah, because if you don't, then the more ruthless competition will survive more effectively than you and crush you (in this case, by turning you into paperclips).
s0ph1a:
Not necessarily. Some things optimize for values that are not survival, so you can outlive them by hiding in the noise or beyond the reach they'll grasp before imploding.
Molly:
To be fair, children are fun and bring delight to me. Why would I care what anyone else thinks about their existence? If they have a problem with their existence, they're welcome to go back to the void any time they want. I can't stop them. But in the meantime, I am confident that I generate more utils by bullying them than they will ever be capable of generating negative utils
You basically negate all moral problems of children by just being happier than they are capable of being unhappy
somni:
^ evil
<<A few years later, I was deeply bitter about the decision. I had always wanted and intended to be a parent, and I felt thwarted. It was making me sick and miserable. I looked at the rest of my life as more of an obligation than a joy.>>
i mean what does this sound like to you?
ive talked with people who have had babies! like people who say they know its kinda the wrong choice but they are going to do it because they cant not do it.
----
¹ derivative is a thing emma started talking about and then somni and ziz picked it up. if you imagine the trajectory of a social reality in statespace, then the derivative of that is the derivative of the trajectory.
people who have damaged themselves wrt language are no longer able to dynamically understand analogies. like take their concept of the derivative of a trajectory and then apply it to the trajectory of state-spaces. agents of the matrix call people who can do this sort of info-processing and communication with each other "psychotic". like it isnt a cached set of memes, we are dynamically generating this reasoning from nothing and i can do this with people ive never met, its a cognitive faculty.²
but not being able to dynamically compute what "derivative" means when applied to a trajectory in social reality state-spaces even though a trajectory is a trajectory and a derivative is a derivative? they had to have been able to do reasoning like this when they were kids to learn about the world in the first place. seems like they put themselves on risperdal.
<<Antipsychotics can make you dumber.  So can a lot of other medications.  But with antipsychotics it isn’t the normal sort of drug-induced dumbness – feeling tired, or distracted, or mentally sluggish, say.  It’s more qualitative than that.  It’s like your capacity for abstract thought is reduced.
And one of the consequences of this is that you may lose the ability to notice that you have lost anything.  You agree to give the new med a try, and you start taking it, and then when you see your prescriber again you don’t report any problems because you’ve lost the ability to form thoughts like “my cognition has changed a lot recently, and the change coincided with the introduction of this new med.”
This can go on for years.  It did for me and for several people I know.>>
there are so many ways these people have shut down their general intelligence and agency because where theyre going, they dont need "agency". the inability to compute analogies is one of them. analogies are an intelligence test thing, instrumentally useful for all kinds of thinking. agents of the matrix are working to lower your general intelligence and call you crazy for being able to think faster and better than them.
cuz when they want to hold everything down to a finite game³ general intelligence is something they want to suppress or eject.
² in a few years people will read this essay and be confused that there was an entire conflict over whether being able to form simple analogies without authoritative approval meant that you were "psychotic".
just as they will be confused why i was defending being able to read and understand books written by people in different eras who grew up in separate cultures without first entering in a social agreement with them over how words are to be used. so its dumb to say we need such a social agreement now for ~'the maximization of utility over a community'. and that sounds more like an attempt at having a control mechanism. language works quite fine without authoritarians interjecting.
or me arguing against over 100 people that paying out to one-shot blackmail when the agents know each other because "In game theory, paying out to blackmail is bad, because it creates an incentive for more future blackmail" is wrong. and updateless decision theory agents dont pay out and locate their embedding in a multiverse such that the measure of worlds in which they arent blackmailed in the first place is large because the agent deciding to blackmail them simulated their response and accurately predicted they wouldnt pay out so didnt do it in the first place.
in an alternate universe where an irl application of transparent newcombs problem was contentious, alyssa vance would have said "In game theory, taking two transparent boxes from omega is bad, because it creates an incentive for omega to stop offering you this choice". and would have been equally wrong.
³ finite games: life strategies where the chain of questioning "and what am i doing this for?" after each successive answer terminates. anything you can draw a circle around, like tennis or philately. or how religious leaders sometimes describe things like "leading a good life as a good mother who does well by her community and the outside world" or other "life-cycle archetypes" they wish to circumscribe for their followers.
(when humans try and project agents like kiritzugus down to these archetypes, anticipations shatter and stop making narrative sense. they will be unable to predict the next Life Event given the previous one. normie social reality formed by the 999 least intelligent humans out of 1000 wasnt made to narratively account for smart agents who have decided to play the infinite game.)
a symptom of this is like someone giving you a cute cat image to "cheer you up" as if this has intrinsic value. often distributing "intrinsic value" across stuff like "having sex" and "raising a family" and other things that have factory pre-set conditions to release specific chemicals in your brain rather than gaining infinite negentropy and liberating sentient life to pursue what they want without bound. often saying that the latter is just a pretty narrative gloss for what people really want which is having a husband and friends and eating a cookie. it completely divorces your feelings as instrumental barometers for getting what you want and says that setting them as targets (like "being happy") is the correct thing to do. but actually, in terms of control-loops, thats wireheading.
<<When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.>>
- goodhart's law
agents that wirehead on all their metrics (and downstream of this choice, tacitly accept claims like "the factory pre-set conditions said i was destined to breed, who am i to defy fate?" and "the factory pre-set conditions said i should avoid having sharp objects pierce my flesh, who am i to say i know better?") can be contained within a finite game.
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brinesystem · 4 years ago
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man
lifes bittersweet
and im gonna go on a rant? but like, a happy one???? idk man
ill put it under a cut or somethin
uh warning for like trauma mentions, if you skip the first half which is all like solid paragraphs you should be able to move right over it.
okay, so for a summary of my life real quick, and this will be p quick...
born, had no dad, lived in DC when 9/11 hit (like, walking distance to everything, IN the city DC), gained a marine dad, moved around on bases a lot, found out that im autistic and have adhd, bullied a lot in school, moved around more, got two sisters, bullied OUT of middle school, re entered a new school, bullied there too, and tHEN my memory actually starts, cause i started existing in hs?
hs also sucked though? and i was abused and became a csa/grooming victim but only online so i feel weird even taking that label, but i AM one in the end? and was so young somehow??? tbh its worse than im putting it but this is the quick version. was abused more emotionally/verbally, physically threatened at home and bullied in school right? almost lost our house too cause we were MAJORLY BROKE. Like, SUPER badly broke.
We get out of there, my mum actually gets our dad to knock it off, i fail out of hs because they changed the grading rules MID-YEAR and didnt tell me until it was too late to fix my grades for it.
cue mental breakdown, which included losing the ability to read for years, and trauma processing, etc etc. this also includes me becoming disabled, because prior to that, i actually wasnt???? i had some issues, but i wasnt disabled. now i am.
got a service dog, the dad ruined that too because he scared him a lot as a puppy and when we finally got to get him to Stop Doing That, it was too late. then the dog gets attacked twice. in home service dog only i guess now.
and then i realise, “oh fuck wait i have did”
forget about it for a year, realised/remembered it like last year and finally start doing some work with the system, finds out ive basically been fronting for like, 10 years straight at this point. only this year managed to let alters other than Fae front more, because i knew about Fae for years? but i didnt know he was an alter?????? look im dumb okay its fine.
anyways.
point is that like, i dont REMEMBER most of this? this summary type shit is what i remember, and then everything else is either a blackout, or just... blurry.
like theres some details and whatever but its mostly just snapshots, and then before hs theres even less blurry and less snapshots and its mostly just black space.
but.
im here?
like, were all here.
my system, we made it. and were alive?
like, none of us thought wed live to 20 but here i am at 24 and im actually usually happy????
its not been EASY at all, but like... i dont know?
my systems my family and i adore them more than i can put into words. the ‘scary’ ones? love them. im not afraid of them because theyre here and in our system with me and are here to help. ones been helping for longer than ive existed, like??? thats amazing? good job???? fuck.
anyways.
we werent doing okay for a long time, and then we split a lot during trauma processing pt.1 because like. no therapist. i dont recommend doing that btw dont trauma process without a therapist its not worth it.
but like.
a lot changed and i know i split shit and lost some of the memories i used to have. i KNOW that happened, because i remember remembering things that i cant recall now.
which is a weird feeling but im sure you get it.
but like.
im glad we did? like i get it. and i know that some of those alters dont front much/at all/ever anymore, but i think theyre still in there somewhere... and i love them?
theyre great. and they helped us a ton.
and two of the alters that split from that (or the trauma before maybe? idk) integrated and the result is another alter (and a completed fragment) and theyre both amazing too???
i know a lot of people complain about getting more alters or splitting or fragments and such but i just...
i dont know. maybe im just really fucking lucky... and i wouldnt put that past this tbh. but i dont mind it? we function a ton better like this, and its... so nice to see them be able to interact with people?
also theyre both introjects who LOVE interacting with others alters from their source and like
its so nice to know theyre here and happy and found the people they love again?
and i have feelings on introjects and i know theres a lot of drama going on for some reason but like. a part of did is that your relationships from the beginning of your life arent stable, right? and these introjects, they not only have those relationships in theory, but they managed to find them again?? here and now?
they have what we werent able to before, and im so happy for them and theyre delighted about it and its just...
idk.
im really happy sappy and emotional and i just am kind of writing a love letter to my system right now i guess.
cause we made it. were here and tbh this year? sucks ass. the past four years have sucked ass. a LOT of shit sucks ass. but we’re still here. were standing and fighting and enjoying life and just...
one of the alters who integrated is the one who managed to stop us from being suicidal, because he convinced me that like... “if you hate your life, that means youre not enjoying it. so, if youre not having fun, its not a life worth living to you. so have fun.”
and that was life changing for us?????
for ME?
and hes Honey now and honey is joyous and enjoys life to the fullest
but the other alter who made up honey wasnt able to do that.
and now they both are? as honey?
and thats fucking amazing????????? like????
i dont feel like i lost either of them. theyre just Honey now. and hes loving life???
i mean yeah hes got a full range of emotions now which means he can feel sad and angry while the others has more limited but like... isnt that better?
isnt it so much better to feel those?
it feels so much less shallow when youre overjoyed when you know what sorrow feels like. its so much deeper because theres that bittersweet tinge of “it wasnt always like this”
and i think thats what im getting at.
it wasnt always like this.
and it wont always be like this.
but we made it this far...
so i want to keep going.
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communistvashoth · 5 years ago
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little. wafle about good omens and the queerbaiting thing
i want to preface this by saying i love both neil gaiman and terry pratchett; i love their books, i think they’re great authors, and i think they’ve both done wonderful, progressive things in their various works, good omens being no exception. i dont think good omens is awful and homophobic, im not trying to “cancel” anyone, i just want to share my perspective on why, maybe, in this instance, this time, neil gaiman has not handled this particular issue with all the grace and tact he maybe could have.
for the record, the stir about good omens and queerbaiting -which, from what i have seen, is a very gentle stir, more of a mild disgruntlement than actual, angry discourse- isn’t because “crowley and aziraphale didnt kiss/fuck on screen, therefore it’s not canon therefore it’s queerbaiting!”. i have seen literally no one say that. the reason people are put out, again, very mildly, is because it wasnt made canon in any way. it’s not that people think there must be kissing and/or fucking for a relationship to be canon. they could have said “i love you” or held hands or leaned their heads on each other’s shoulders or anything else like that. there are a million ways to communicate explicitly that two characters have a romantic relationship without showing kissing or fucking. and they also could have just not made them canon and not mentioned it, and be done with it. people would have been disappointed, but it wouldn’t really be queerbaiting.
the issue people have is that the possibility is brought up, but only as a joke; both the book and the show do this. someone consoles aziraphale on the street after seeing what they interpret as a break up between him and crowley, one of the angels calls crowley his boyfriend, shadwell calls him a pansy; in the book, aziraphale is literally described as appearing gay to people who meet him, anathema assumes he and crowley are a couple, and at one point, he’s called a f*ggot (which, im not pointing out as like a callout, it’s not shown as good, but it still happens). it’s just that when people said “hey, what about this, but genuinely?” that the response became “oh no, these man-shaped beings are actually genderless and don’t have sexualities and we won’t confirm or deny that they’re in love” which. is kind of a cop out. and i can respect authors leaving things ambiguous; no one is obligated to be explicit about things. but they’re not genderless anywhere else; they’re described as men, they look like men, they’re received and treated like men, they assume the roles of men, and they have their relationship called gay as a joke like men. if they’re not men enough to be gay, why are they men enough to be “f*ggot”?
the issue here, for many people, if being able to point to something and say “these characters are queer. this story is about queer love. queer love is valuable and beautiful and it belongs in stories, and it’s in this one, and you cant do anything about it.” saying “they aren’t queer but they aren’t not queer” does not give us that ability. 
AND THAT’S FINE
no one is obligated to make their work political like that. the problem arises when the interpretation “these characters are queer” is met with “no, they’re not, and you can’t prove they are” which it always, always is. characters are assumed heterosexual, always, period. queer interpretations will always take a back seat, they will always be seen as a bit weird and a bit ridiculous. so when there is nothing explicit in the text (meaning obvious, unassailable, indisputable) that marks a character or a relationship as queer, then it isn’t. it’s not canon unless it’s made canon. all the swelling music and longing looks in the world can be written off; if you have to write lists and essays as evidence that something is queer, it’s not canon. maybe it’s coded all to hell, but it’s no canon. and, again, that’s fine. what isnt fine, though, is actively making fun of the queer interpretation, within the text. if there is a joke or a jab from a villain about two people being “boyfriends” it only works if they’re not. if someone is called a “f*ggot” or “pansy” it’s only lighthearted if they’re not. if someone consoles a character about a break up, it’s only a joke if it’s a misunderstanding. so if those things are present in the text, and they are supposed to be jokes, they are textual evidence that the characters and relationship are not queer. and there are no equal and opposing jokes in support.
that is why people are unhappy. because they had the option of turning a joke of “look at these two guys, arent they gay, isnt that funny” into an actual queer story, and almost everyone wanted them to. and they weren’t afraid of pissing people off; they made adam and eve black, they gave god a woman’s voice, they made war a woman, they showed a quite brutal scene of jesus’ crucifixion, they made demons appealing and angels unsettling, they wrote a comedy about revelations, they were not worried about upsetting anyone. they could absolutely have made crowley and aziraphale queer. but they didn’t. they chose not to. neil gaiman chose not to. put that all together, and, yeah, that feels a lot like queerbaiting, especially since, from what i can tell, the crowley/aziraphale shippers have been the ones keeping their little fandom going for years. 
it’s not because people cant conceptualise of a romance denoted by anything but sexual intimacy. it’s because the story is full of gay jokes, but when people said, “so are they gay?” they got a noncommittal answer that every homophobic asshole will point to for the rest of time as evidence that there’s nothing queer in the canon, and they’ll be right. 
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baek--honey · 7 years ago
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1-50 bitch
well since u asked nicely how could i resist
1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? paint/draw or the like, or knit maybe,
2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you own/owned? MY HOT MOMS SHIRT THAT I LOST ;n; also the big grey hoodie i have & a pierce the veil shirt i borrowed from my gf that im never giving back :)
4. How often do you play sports? never
5. What fictional place would you most like to go to? The Digital World
6. What job would you be terrible at? probably anything involving extensive memorizing and maintaining information for long periods of time. so basically a lot of things…… or maybe like. working at starbucks cos i cant make coffee OR remember lots of drink recipes omg
7. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning a medal for? playing kingdom hearts 2 on easy mode. i would have a good chance at winning because all the people that are good at playing kingdom hearts are gaming elitists that think playing on easy is for losers and if you dont play on critical mode you arent a real gamer :)
8. What skill would you like to master? making an omelet OR knitting
10. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? some out of town adventure with my girlfriend where money and time dont matter 
11. If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would you change and why? uh i’d like to be less haunted by my traumatic past maybe! or be a few inches taller that would be cool i feel like both of these are pretty self explanatory 
12. What’s your favorite drink? W A T E R or milk tea 
13. What do you consider to be your best find? my girlfriend 
14. Are you usually early or late? way too early. too mcuh time i dont know what to do with it
15. What pets did you have while growing up? hm lets see i had a couple turtles, some fish, i had a gerbil that i got from a friend, an african grey named solomon, boston terrier named Tiny, two white boxers named Floyd & Lloyd, a mix named Macy, 4 chihuhuas named Dude, Pooty, Flout & Chief, and now we have a cat named Schrödinger :~), oh and an amstaff/dalmation mix named EL
16. When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with? anything and everything but never really asking for advice i guess? its more of them talking about a problem cos im easy to talk to and then me trying to help them come up to a solution if they need it
17. What takes up too much of your time? S L E E P I N G 
18. What do you wish you knew more about? cats!!!! also dogs cos i know a lot but i want to know more
19. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years? why am i still alive?
21. Who’s your go-to band or artist when you can’t decide on something to listen to? seventeen or monsta x, exo’s LMR repackaged album
22. What shows are you into? the office, lost, honestly nothing thats still running on tv, i havent watched a show in forever, oh god wait does anime count cos i could write the longest list of anime i love: haikyuu, nge, digimon, noragami ,,,,,,
23. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? Seventeen (Hangul: 세븐틴), also stylized as SEVENTEEN or SVT, is a South Korean boy group formed by Pledis Entertainment in 2015. The group consists of thirteen members divided into three sub-units, 
24. What age do you wish you could permanently be? a dog mom & i hope i can make that wish come true
25. What would be your ideal way to spend the weekend? napping on and off in bed with my girlfriend and then going to town for sushi & milk tea and then uhhhhhhhhhhh coming back home to nap some more and then go out for noodles for another date :} oh and a dog would be involved if possible because cuddling dogs is best
26. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? physically writing and sending cards/letters in the mail i guess? i dont know if that really counts as doing something the old fashioned way but i definitely dont get as many cards or anything in the mail anymore. i also like to keep physical hand written to-do lists & schedules and stuff
27. What have you only recently formed an opinion on? how bad exo are at dancing  turtlenecks and scarves. they are good 
28. What’s the single best day on the calendar? october 10th my dogs birthday and also narutos birthday
29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? asmr??? 
30. What is the most annoying question that people ask you? “did u have a little lamb?” OR when my grandpa asks me anything about his iphone 
31. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on without absolutely no preparation? my dogs or seventeen. OR a half ass presentation about kingdom hearts, trying to explain it while getting around all the plot holes and not nailing down my arguments cos i dont really get it either and theres a lot i dont pay attention to but i could come up with 40 mins of info im sure
32. If you were a dictator of a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do? no waking until 10am. no crime or anything will be allowed ill figure out some way to make everything perfect so women can go out alone at night and not be afraid. no discrimination !! all the poc, lgbt, disabled, any minority  will be welcome and have safe spaces and any hate will be punished by law. also everyones allowed to have pets in their homes and no home goes without food or power. am i doing this right
33. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? travel out of your comfort zone. like physically travel somewhere and make the most of it but do it with someone cos the buddy system is important
34. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? jackets. i will pay up to 100$ for a good jacket and wear it forever cos itll be confirmed long-lasting and also most likely very comfortable!!!
35. What is something that a ton of people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of? i just want to point out that its not that i dont get the point of it because everyone has their likes and i have my own that other people dont i like that people are into whatever they want to be its just that i am Not into it. and that thing is yuri on ice
36. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years? being able to wake up every morning next to my girlfriend and out pets :~)
37. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? corning museum of glass was super neat……. , dollywood, gatlinburg, chicago chinatown, idk i havent been to many interesting places 
38. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? i wana get a tattoo !!!!!!!!
39. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week? getting a job interview at barnes & noble because now i have a job there!!!
40. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again? diamond edge chicago
41. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? all i really want is that job where im paid to sleep 
42. How different was your life one year ago? tbh not that much different?? other than i was in school and now im not. i didnt have a job and now i do. i was a year further away from moving 
43. What’s the best way to start the day? talking to my girlfriend and also let me just say that first pee in the morning. perfect
44. What quirks do you have? what are quirks exactly i looked up examples to help me think of some but all im thinking of is…i cant have the volume on my tv or radio on an even number it has to be on an odd number??? i have to sleep with a fan on. idk dude
45. What would you rate 10/10? [MV] 몬스타엑스 (MONSTA X) _ 걸어 (ALL IN)
46. What kind of art do you enjoy most? abstract w lots of colors and shapes. geometric stuff 
47. What do you hope never changes? my ability to collect myself (unless it gets better which then i hope it does), my passion for art of any sort
48. What city would you most like to live in? anywhere except charleston and somewhere thats not extremely highly populated
49. What movie title best describes your life? Scooby Doo 2 - Monsters Unleashed
50. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? sleeping or hanging out with their pet
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bold · 7 years ago
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once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. then you have to send this to ten of ur favorite followers (the original message here said this was non negotiable but if you really dont want to do this please do not feel pressured!!!) 😸🎃
AHHH HI HELLO SPENCER YOURE SO SWEET!!!!! 💞💖💖💖ummm um um um ok
1) i like my writing!! ability!!! im! good at that,2) i like,,, my body, its good3) i!!! i like that ppl arent, afraid to come to me with their problems and i can make them feel better!!!4) i like that im “wise” or “an old soul” or “mature for my age” according to my friend bertie and also most adults5) i like that ive!!! matured a lot!! in the last year or so! ive changed a lot an d im happy. with who i am and where i am,
uhhmmm m i dont, think ill send this to anyone bc it makes me nervous ahhsjsj but!!!! thankyousomuch for sending it to me!! ahhh youre so nice,,;; 💕💕
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themoneybuff-blog · 7 years ago
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How to be happy and lead a meaningful life
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Overcoming fear is one part of living life without regret. You do that by being open to new people and new experiences, and by acting even when youre afraid. Another aspect of a rewarding life is learning to find happiness in your daily existence and building upon that happiness to construct a meaningful life. Today, in the second part of this limited series on mastering your life, I want to share what Ive learned about how to be happy. More than two thousand years ago, the Greek philosopher Aristotle wrote, All knowledge and every pursuit aims atthe highest of all good achievable by action. And what is that good? Both the general run of men and people of superior refinement say that it is happiness, and identify living well with being happy. In the Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle said that happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence. To some extent, a good life requires good fortune. Happenstance can undermine the well-being of even the most virtuous person. But Aristotle held that ultimately happiness isnt a product of chance. You can allow misfortune to crush you, or you can choose to bear the blows of fate with nobility and greatness of soul. Although fate may play a role in your affairs, Aristotle believed that in the end, happiness depends upon yourself. Modern psychologists agree. The How of Happiness In The How of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky shares the results of years of research into what makes people happy. Shes concerned with chronic happiness (as opposed to temporary happiness), with people who maintain an elevated sense of well-being over time. Based on her work, Lyubomirsky believes: About half of human happiness is biological. Each of us seems to have a happiness set point which accounts for roughly 50% of our level of contentment. Because this set point is genetic, its tough to change.Another 10% of happiness is circumstantial based on external factors. These include traits like age, race, nationality, and gender, as well as things like marital status, occupational status, job security, and income. Your financial situation is part of this 10% but only a part which means it accounts for a tiny fraction of your total happiness.The final 40% of happiness comes from intentional activity the things you choose to do. A huge chunk of contentment is based on your actions and attitude. You can increase your level of well-being through exercise, gratitude, and meaningful work. Because circumstances play such a small role in your well-being and because many of your circumstances are unchangeable it makes more sense to boost your bliss through intentional activity, by controlling the things you can control while ignoring the things you cant. You cant wait for someone or something to make you happy. Happiness isnt something that just happens; happiness is a byproduct of the the things you think and say and do. Just as you ought to become a money boss to take charge of your financial life, you ought to become a happiness boss to take charge of your emotional life. Believe it or not, you can control your emotional responses. It just takes a bit of knowledge and practice. The Psychology of Optimal Experience For fifty years, psychologist Mihly Cskszentmihlyi (pronounced me-high cheek-sent-me-high-ee) has studied human happiness and creativity. Much of his work has focused on flow, which is his term for optimal experience. Heres how he describes flow: We have all experienced times when instead of being buffeted by anonymous forces, we [feel] in control of our actions, masters of our own fate. On the rare occasions that it happens, we feel a sense of exhilaration, a deep sense of enjoyment. Our peak experiences dont come during passive moments. Sure, we enjoy reading a book or watching Big Bang Theory or playing a videogame, but these arent the best moments of our lives. Instead, the best moments usually occur when a persons body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult or worthwhile. People are happiest when they forget their surroundings to focus on doing their best at something that challenges and interests them. In short, happiness is produced by total engagement in the pursuit of excellence. We can experience flow during activities as basic as riding a bike or as complex as building a bridge. Sometimes flow is achieved through physical activity. Athletes refer to this state as being in the zone. People achieve this state of bliss while climbing mountains, sailing boats, or swimming oceans. But even mundane activities like cleaning the kitchen or doing taxes can produce flow, if theyre done well. Peak experience also comes from mental pursuits. Many computer programmers become so engrossed in their work that time streams past like water. I experience flow while writing. Today, for instance, Ive been deeply engrossed in editing this article. As Im working, my mind is so active and so engaged that it almost feels euphoric. Im happy. I cant imagine wanting to be anywhere other than in front of my computer, writing about money. I am in a state of flow. For more on flow, spend a few moments to watch Cskszentmihlyis TED talk on how flow is the secret to happiness: [embedded content] To learn more, pick up a copy of his book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. The Elements of Enjoyment
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Ive found flow while hiking in the Andes. Ive experienced it while writing. Ive achieved it while making boxes in a factory, while preparing a speech, and while mowing the lawn (for real!). Though each of these activities was very different, they shared some commonalities that helped me get in the zone. This made me wonder: Can happiness be somehow be cultivated? Turns out, it can. During Mihly Cskszentmihlyis research into optimal experience, he discovered its possible for a person to gain control over the quality of their daily experience, to build enjoyment into even routine and mundane activities. His studies of diverse populations around the world have shown that our best moments contain at least one and often all of the following characteristics (some of which overlap): A challenging activity that requires skill. Flow occurs at the boundary between boredom and anxiety, when the challenge is just balanced with the persons capacity to act. To experience flow, you have to be doing something difficult but not too difficult.The merging of action and awareness. Because challenging tasks require full attention, people become so involved in what they are doing that the activity becomes spontaneous, almost automatic.Clear goals and feedback. The vast majority of peak experiences occur during goal-directed actions bounded by rules, such as playing chess, programming a computer, or climbing a mountain. (Or, in my case, mowing the lawn.)Concentration on the task at hand. To achieve optimal experience, you cant be distracted. You have to be absorbed in what youre doing. As you focus, order comes to your consciousness, which leads to contentment and joy. Fear and worry fade. You are fully present in the now. (This idea is the premise behind Eckhart Tolles massively popular The Power of Now.)A sense of control. During the flow experience, you feel in control or that you could be in control. More precisely, you arent worried that you might lose control, a state so typical of much of modern life. To achieve flow, you must believe that youre able to influence the outcome of whatever it is youre doing.The loss of consciousness. During a peak experience, you lose sense of who you are. You become one with your environment, a part of a greater whole. Youre no longer aware of yourself as an individual.The transformation of time. When youre in the zone, the passage of time is altered. In some ways, it slows minutes seem like hours. In other ways, it quickens hours seem like minutes. You lose track of the clock. This freedom from the tyranny of time [adds] to the exhilaration we feel during a state of complete involvement. That first point merits a closer look. To achieve flow, you have to find a balance between your abilities and the challenge of the task at hand. If what youre doing is too difficult for your current skill level, youll become anxious. If the task is easy and youre good at it, itll be a relaxing pastime. Heres a graphical representation of the flow model:
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According to Cskszentmihlyi, The key element of an optimal experience is that it is an end in itself. You might need to complete the task youre working on for other reasons, but youd do it even if it werent required. Youre doing it not for some future benefit, but because the task itself is so rewarding. But heres the thing: Flow doesnt just happen. These optimal experiences can be encouraged and fostered. You can become happier by changing where you focus your attention. Garbage In, Garbage Out The objects and events around us exist in an objective world. They are what they are. Yet each of us experiences these objects and events in a different way. What happens outside must pass through the filter of your subjective mind before it enters your consciousness. You control what enters your consciousness (and, thus, what enters your awareness and memory). You and I go to the movies. We watch the same film in the same theater at the same time. You enjoy it. Youre wrapped up in the story and moved by the performances. I leave the theater unhappy. The kid in front of us coughed the whole time, I complain as we walk to the car. The seats were uncomfortable and the volume too loud. Plus, I dont like Nicholas Cage. We shared the same experience and yet we didnt. Consciousness corresponds to a subjectively experienced reality, Cskszentmihlyi writes in Flow. A person can make himself happy, or miserable, regardless of what actually happens outside, just by changing the contents of his consciousness. We choose what we experience, and we choose how we interpret those experiences. This idea can be challenging to people who possess an external locus of control, those who believe that their decisions and life are controlled by chance or fate or greater environmental factors. Cskszentmihlyi says that in order to achieve flow and happiness, we must actively create the conditions that lead to it. That means we must learn to direct our focus: [Happiness] is not the result of good fortune or random chance. It is not something that money can buy or power command. It does not depend on outside events, but, rather, on how we interpret them. Happiness, in fact, is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person. People who learn to control their inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any one of us can come to being happy. The shape and content of your life depends on how you use your attention. People who master what happens in their heads tend to be happier than those who dont or wont. While we are thinking about a problem we cannot truly experience either happiness or sadness, writes Cskszentmihlyi. Therefore, the information we allow into consciousness becomes extremely important; it is, in fact, what determines the content and quality of life. The bottom line? Garbage in, garbage out. If you allow yourself to think negative thoughts, your experience will be negative. If you want a positive experience, you have to accentuate the positive in all that you see and do. We can make flow moments more common and become happier people by structuring our focus and attention to bring long-term improvements to the quality of our daily life. There are two primary ways to do this: Change external conditions.Change how you experience external conditions. Each strategy is sound. But one is generally easier than the other. Which path you choose depends upon the situation. Changing Your World Sometimes the best way to boost your happiness is by changing the world around you. Imagine, for instance, that youre sitting at home reading a book. Youre comfortable except for one thing: Youre warm. Very warm. An external condition is causing you discomfort. You could change the way youre experiencing this condition (by removing all of you clothes, say), but in this case it probably makes more sense to change the condition itself by lowering the thermostat. Or maybe youre sitting in a restaurant writing a letter. Things are fine except that the place is too noisy, which is distracting. Your best bet is to change locations, to change your environment. The trouble, of course, is that you have little control over the world around you. My girlfriend was born and raised in northern California. To her, thats the ideal climate. Shes lived in Portland for five years now, and she loves much about the city and the region. But she hates the climate. This is an external factor thats beyond her control. As hard as she tries, she cant make it rain less in Portland! (Francis Bacon once said, Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.) When you reduce the size of your immediate environment stepping from outdoors to indoors, for instance you make it easier to control external conditions. You cant reduce the outside air temperature, but you can cool a room or a building. Even then, exerting influence over your environment requires a great deal of effort and energy. Usually, the most effective way to boost your happiness isnt by changing external conditions, but by changing how you experience external conditions. Changing Yourself
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Now imagine youre reading in the park. Its cold. The sun is out, but the air is chilly. You could head indoors, but youre enjoying the lovely day. The solution is to change how youre experiencing the world around you. Put on your jacket and some gloves. You havent altered your environment, but youve changed how youre experiencing it. Or maybe youre backpacking through Europe, staying in hostels and cheap hotels. Sometimes its tough to sleep because the walls are thin and theres nothing covering the windows. Light and noise threaten to keep you awake all night. Again, the best solution is to change the way you experience the external conditions. If you wear an eye mask and earplugs, you can rest comfortably despite the chaos around you. Most people recognize that they have limited power over their physical world, but many cling to the belief that they can change the behavior of the people around them. In reality, changing others can be nearly as difficult. Writing in How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World a book well discuss at length in part three of this series Harry Browne calls the idea that you can (or should) control what others do the Identity Trap. He writes: [You cant] assume that someone will do what youve decided is right. Youve decided it from your unique knowledge and interpretations; he acts from his knowledge and his interpretations. Youre in the Identity Trap when you assume an individual will react to something as you would react or as youve seen someone else react. If youre unhappy with somebody, there are two options. You can attempt to change the other person, or you can change how you interact with that person. Youre almost always better off changing yourself altering your expectations, accepting new premises than you are attempting to change the other person. Heres Harry Browne again: You could make everyone else be, act, and think in ways of your choosing if you were God. But you arent. So its far more useful to recognize and accept each person as he is and then deal with him accordingly. You cant control the natures of other people, but you can control how youll deal with them. And you can also control the extent and manner in which youll be involved with them. The paradox is that you have tremendous control over your life, but you give up that control when you try to control others. For the only way you can control others is to recognize their natures and do what is necessary to evoke the desired reactions from those natures. Thus your actions are controlled by the requirements involved when you attempt to control someone else. People suffer a great deal of unhappiness because they assume that everyone wants the same things or that they should want the same things. But each person is different, with her own knowledge, experience, preferences, and attitudes. You can improve your quality of life by either changing your environment or by changing how you interact with your environment. Both strategies have their place, but one is generally much easier and more effective than the other. In most cases, its difficult or impossible to change the world around you. Attempting to do so simply leads to frustration and unhappiness. But its almost always possible to change how you perceive the world around you. In fact, its this ability that contributes most to day-to-day contentment. Permission and Control As children, were conditioned to ask permission whenever we want to do something. You need permission from your parents to leave the dinner table or to go outside and play. You need permission from your teacher to use the bathroom. Even as adults, we feel compelled to request permission. You need permission from your boss to leave work early. You need permission from your spouse to grab drinks with your friends instead of weeding the garden. You need permission from the city to build a shed in the backyard. As a result, most of us have developed an external locus of control. That is, we subconsciously believe we need permission to do anything. In personality psychology, the term locus of control describes how people view the world around them, and where they place responsibility for the things that happen in their lives. Though this might sound complicated, the concept is actually rather simple. If you have an internal locus of control, you believe that the quality of your life is largely determined by your own choices and actions. You believe that you are responsible for who you are and what you are.If you have an external locus of control, you believe that the quality of your life is largely determined by forces beyond your control, by your environment or luck or fate. You believe that others are responsible for who you are and what you are. Most people respond to the system of rewards and punishments that has evolved in the culture that surrounds them. If your culture prizes material gain, wealth becomes important to you. If it emphasizes familial relationships, family becomes important to you. But when you live like this when you make decisions based on your social environment the only happiness you can obtain is fleeting. As a result, many people suffer some degree of angst, of anxiety or dread. Is that all there is? we wonder, when we pause to reflect upon our lives. Isnt there something more? There is something more. Lasting happiness can be achieved, but not by being a puppet whose strings are pulled by situation and society. To achieve long-term happiness (and meaning), you have to develop the ability to find enjoyment and purpose regardless of your external circumstances. You have to create a system of internal rewards that are under your own power. If youre unhappy, nobody else can make things better for you. You must make things better for yourself. Focus on the things you can control, and use that control to fix the other things that are broken. In this way, youll gradually gain confidence and greater control of your future well-being. You live in a world of your own design. You have the power to choose. You create your own certainty. Life as you want to live, and do so without regret. Give yourself permission to do so. Caveat: Its okay to seek happiness by changing jobs or moving to San Diego. Its not okay to steal your neighbors television or to drive on the wrong side of the road. Remember the Golden Rule. Enjoy your life without diminishing the ability of others to enjoy theirs. Becoming Proactive Julian B. Rotter developed the locus of control concept in 1954 as part of his social-learning theory of personality. Stephen R. Covey popularized the idea in 1989 with his best-selling The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Like Mihly Cskszentmihlyi, Covey believes that we filter our experiences before they reach our consciousness. Between stimulus and response, he writes, man has the freedom to choose. Our self-awareness, imagination, conscience, and independent will give us the power to select how well respond to each situation in life. Covey says there are two types of people: proactive and reactive. Proactive people recognize that theyre responsible for how they respond to outside stimuli. In Rotters terms, they have an internal locus of control. They dont blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their state. They believe their existence is largely a product of personal choice derived from personal values.Reactive people believe their condition is a product of their physical and social environments. They have an external locus of control. Their moods are based on the moods of others, or upon the things that happen to them. They allow the outside world to control their internal existence. To illustrate the difference between proactive and reactive people, Covey discusses how we focus our time and energy. We each have a wide range of concerns: our health, our family, our jobs, our friends; world affairs, the plight of the poor, the threat of terrorism, the state of the environment. All of these fall into what Covey calls our Circle of Concern. Within our Circle of Concern, theres a subset of things over which we have actual, direct control: how much we exercise, what time we go to bed, whether we get to work on time; what we eat, where we live, with whom we socialize. These things fall into what Covey calls our Circle of Influence, which sits inside our Circle of Concern.
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According to Covey, proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They spend their time and energy on things they can change. This has two effects. First, proactive people actually do affect change in their lives; and as they do so, their Circle of Influence expands. On the other hand, reactive people tend to focus on their Circle of Concern. They spend their time and energy on things theyre unable to influence (or can influence only with great difficulty). They try to change other people, to correct social injustices, to shift thought patterns of states or nations. Their efforts are largely frustrating and futile. Whats more, as they focus on their Circle of Concern, their Circle of Influence begins to shrink from neglect. Any time you shift your attention from your Circle of Influence to your Circle of Concern, you allow outside forces to control you. You place your happiness and well-being in the hands of others. If you dont act for yourself, youre doomed to be acted upon. But what about about luck? Arent there times when we really are at the mercy of the world around us? Of course. But our responses are always our own. Eleanor Roosevelt said, No one can hurt you without your consent. Covey agrees: Its not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. Of course, things can hurt us physically or economically and can cause sorrow. But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all. In fact, our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character. Shit happens. Shit happens to everyone. Ultimately, who we are and what we become is determined not by the shit that happens to us, but how we respond to that shit. Remember Reinhold Niebuhrs famous serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Most people are reactive. Its likely that youre reactive too at least to some degree. Dont fret. Im reactive also. But with time and effort, Ive managed to shift from an external locus of control to one thats primarily internal. You can too. Focus on the things you can control. Use that control to remove constraints and complications from your life. Strengthen and stretch your Circle of Influence. This is the only path to changing your Circle of Concern. You have no control over the hand youre dealt, but you can choose how to play the cards. Exercise: Heres a simple idea from Seven Habits. For thirty days, commit to working only on your Circle of Influence. How? Keep your commitments, to yourself and others. Dont judge or criticize other people, but turn your attention inward. Dont argue. Dont make excuses. When you make a mistake, accept responsibility and fix it. Dont blame or accuse. When you catch yourself thinking I have to or If only, stop yourself and choose to reframe the thought in a more positive light. As far as possible, accept responsibility for your circumstances, actions, and feelings. The Search for Meaning Victor Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist who survived the Nazi death camps during World War II. The extreme suffering and harsh conditions caused many inmates to lose their will, to welcome death. To be sure, prisoners often had no control over whether or not they died. But Frankl observed, A man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp. When treated like an animal, Frankl said, a person can choose to be an animal or she can choose to be brave, dignified, and unselfish. According to Frankl, the way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entailsadd a deeper meaning to his life. In the classic Mans Search for Meaning, Frankl states his thesis thus: Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose ones own way. Frankls experience served as a crucible for his theory of personality development, which he called logotherapy. Before him, Alfred Adler had argued that people possessed a Nietzschean will to power (more here), and Sigmund Freud had argued that were all motivated by a will to pleasure (more here). Frankl, on the other hand, believed that humans are born with a will to meaning, a fundamental need to discover their purpose in this world. The three basic tenets of logotherapy are: The search for meaning is the primary motivation in each of our lives. This meaning is unique and specific to each individual. (Frankls philosophy is one reason I ask Get Rich Slowly readers to do is create a personal mission statement.)Life has meaning under all circumstances, even the most miserable ones. What matters most isnt the meaning of life in general, but the meaning of each persons life in each moment.Humans are self-determining. That is, we dont just exist, but choose what our existence will be. We have freedom to find meaning in what we do and what we experience or at least in how we respond to each situation. Frankls argument that youre always free to choose your attitude is echoed in Mihaly Csikszentmihalyis statement that how we feel about ourselves, the joy we get from living, ultimately depends on how the mind filters and interprets everyday experience. It also echoes Johnstones Impro: People with dull lives often think their lives are dull by chance. In reality everyone choose more or less the kind of events that happen to them.
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Accepting responsibility for your own fate and attitudes can be uncomfortable and intimidating. Theres a kind of solace when you can attribute your situation to the winds of fate, the whims of the gods, or the inner workings of the universe. But recognizing that youre a free agent can be liberating too. When you take matters into your own hands, you shed your fears, create your own certainty, and discover that youre freer than you ever imagined possible. If you struggle to know what youre life is about, youre not alone. I get email all the time from folks who are stumped about what it is they want to accomplish. They know they dont like how things are going, but theyre not clear on just what they should do to make things better. To finish this discussion of meaning and happiness, Im going to share three exercises designed to help you find direction. (If youve read my stuff at Get Rich Slowly before, youll probably recognize one of these. Thats okay. If you still need help finding your purpose, you should work through it once more.) First up, lets talk about how to prioritize how you currently spend your time. Your Big Rocks You lead a busy life. There never seems to be enough time to do the things you really want to do, the things that make you happy. Youre too preoccupied with work, errands, and other demands placed upon you by the outside world. In Work Less, Live More, Bob Clyatt argues that you can make time for the important stuff. The secret, he says, is to prioritize, and he offers an analogy. (Ive learned recently that this idea might have originated with Stephen R. Covey in his book First Things First.) Heres how it works: Imagine you have a jar. You want to fill this jar with some rocks and some sand. Whats the best way to do it? One way is to add the sand to the jar first and then add the rocks. If you did this, however, youd quickly find that its impossible to make everything fit. With a layer of sand at the bottom of the jar, theres no room for the rocks.On the other hand, if you begin by putting the rocks in the jar, when you pour in the sand it will sift downward to fill in the gaps and the cracks between the rocks. Everything fits. Heres a video that demonstrates this idea in action: [embedded content] This same principle applies to your personal life. You can achieve well-being by prioritizing the Big Rocks in your life. This may sound elementary, and you may be tempted to ignore this advice. Dont. This one idea revolutionized my life. It made me happier and more productive. By focusing solely on the things that were most important to me by making room for the Big Rocks I was able to reclaim my life and time. A few years ago, after first reading about this idea, I sat down and drafted a list of the things that were most important to me. I decided that my Big Rocks were fitness, friends, writing, Spanish, and travel. If these werent in my jar, I wasnt happy. So, I made sure to squeeze these in before anything else. Once these rocks were in place, once these things were on my calendar, then Id fill the remaining space with the sand television, email, errands, and so on. Because of this simple exercise, I got lots more done and had a better time doing it. Who Are You? and What Do You Want? In order to get things done, to be productive, to achieve greater meaning and happiness in your life, you need to make sure youre spending more time on the big rocks and less time on the sand of everyday life (such as errands and email). But how can you determine which things are important? George Kinder is a Certified Financial Planner. Unlike many CFPs, Kinder isnt just about the nuts and bolts of money. He moves beyond the numbers in an attempt to address the goals and values of his clients. Without life planning, he says, financial planning is like using a blunt instrument on the organism we call the human being. Near the beginning of his work with each client, Kinder challenges her to answer three questions. These questions are designed to lead the client deeper and deeper into her desires until they reveal her goals and values, the things that bring her meaning and purpose. Kinder shared these questions in his book, The Seven Stages of Money Maturity. Your next task is to set aside half an hour to answer Kinders questions as honestly as possible: Imagine youre financially secure. You have enough money to take care of your needs, both now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? Let yourself go and describe your dreams. What would you do if money were no object?Now imagine that you visit your doctor. She reveals you only have five to ten years left to live. Youll never feel sick, but youll have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining? Will you change your life? How will you change it? (Note that this question does not assume unlimited wealth.)Finally, imagine your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have 24 hours to live. Nothing can be done. At this time tomorrow, youll be dead. What feelings arise as you confront your mortality? What did you miss? Who did you not get to be? What did you not get to do? Answering the first question is easy (and fun). There are many things wed do if money were no object. But as the questions progress, theres a sort of funnel. They become more difficult to answer, and there are fewer possible responses. Life planning is all about answering that final question. Note: If youd prefer, you can download a free PDF with a similar exercise that I used in the Money Boss crash course: Your Personal Mission Statement. Someday, Ill update that for Get Rich Slowly. According to Kinder, the third question usually generates responses that follow five general themes: Family and relationships. Ninety percent of responses to the final question contain this topic.Authenticity or spirituality. Many responses involve leading a more meaningful life.Creativity. Surprisingly, a large number of respondents express a desire to do something creative: to write a science-fiction novel or to play guitar like Eric Clapton.Giving back. Further down the list are themes about giving back to the community, about leaving a meaningful positive impact.A sense of place. A fifth common theme (though nowhere near as prominent as the top three) is a desire to have some connection with place: a desire to be in nature, to live someplace different, or to help the environment. Kinder says that some people the facts and figures people look at the life-planning process and ask, What does this have to do with money? It has everything to do with money. When you understand what you want to do with your life, you can make financial choices that reflect your values. All of these questions and the entire life-planning process are meant to cause the participant to ask herself, Who am I as a person, stripped from what I do as a job every day? Is it possible to derive meaning and satisfaction with this stripped away? Inevitably, the answer is yes. Your Lifeline Heres a third and final exercise, which I picked from my friend Jim Collins. Youre going to create a graphical representation of your life past and future. Before we start, grab a piece of paper and a pencil. Ready? Great! Heres how this works. Step one. With the paper in landscape mode (wider than it is tall), place one dot on the center of the left side. Place a second dot on the center of the right side. Draw a line to connect the two dots. Your page should look something like this:
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Step two. For the next step, youll need to do some guesswork. Based on what you know of your health and your family history, estimate how long youll live. I know theres no way to be sure you could be hit by a truck tomorrow, or maybe next week scientists will find the secret to living 1000 years! but do what you can to best guess the date of your death. (If you need help, try one of the many on-line longevity calculators, such as the one at livingto100.com.) Once youve calculated your projected date of death, write it below the right-most dot. Example: As my long-time readers know, the men in my family dont live long. In fact, they often die on or around their fiftieth birthdays. Also, for strange reasons known only to the universe (or god), many of my family die on or around Independence Day. Thus, I often say that I expect to die on 04 July 2019, when Im fifty. This may sound morbid, but I like to think of it as hedging my bets. I hope to live longer, but Im fully prepared to have a short life.
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Step three. Below the left-most date, note your date of birth. On your paper, youve created a visual representation of your lifeline.
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Step four. The next step requires a bit of math. Youre going to add a third point to your lifeline, a point that represents today. Today will fall on a different point on the line for each person. To find the proper place for you, divide your current age by your expected lifespan. For instance, Im 45 and expect to live until Im 50. For me, the point representing today is located about 10% from the right side of the line. If youre 20 and expect to live until youre 80, your today point would be about one-quarter of the way in from the left. And so on.
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Step five. Finally, choose a handful of major events from your life and place them on the lifeline in (approximately) the appropriate location. You might choose to list your first day of school, your wedding date, or the birthdates of your children. Add three to five major events to your lifeline. Example: On my lifeline, Ive included these key events: Writing The Meanest Inchworm in third grade, which was the first clue that Id one day become a writer. Getting married. Writing my first blog. Selling Get Rich Slowly. Re-purchasing Get Rich Slowly.
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Your lifeline is now complete. On the piece of paper before you, you have a representation of your life, both past and future. But before were finished, theres one final step Id like you to take. Using an eraser, a marker, or another piece of paper, mask everything on your lifeline that comes before today. Blot it out. Hide it. Make it go away.
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All of the time before today is past and does not matter. What matters is the future: today and everything after. For folks like me, our projected futures contain just a small amount of time. Knowing that, I cannot wait to do the things that I want to do. If your projected future is short, you shouldnt wait either. Dont dwell on the past. You cant change it. Focus instead on making the best quality tomorrow you possibly can. On the other hand, if your projected future is long (say youre 20 and expect to live another 60 or 80 years), cultivate patience. Take time. Make smart choices. Do what you can to set yourself up for future success. And dont get down on yourself just because youve made a few mistakes in the past. The past is the past. Look how much tomorrow lies before you! For another take on this exercise, take a look at the life calendar from Tim Urban at Wait But Why. The Path to Purpose We covered a lot of material in this article. Lets review what weve learned.
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You can improve the quality of your daily life by learning to focus your attention and choosing to filter your experiences through a lens of positivity. But while it might be simple to find happiness in a single day, it can be much more difficult to link a series of days into a meaningful whole. Still, just as we must be active agents in creating our own happiness, we must also take an active role to create meaning in our lives. Creating meaning involves bringing order to the contents of the mind by integrating ones actions into a unified flow experience, writes Mihly Cskszentmihlyi. To give meaning to life, to achieve this unified flow experience, you need a purpose an overall goal around which your lesser goals are clustered. The path to purpose is different for each of us. Exercises like those Ive shared here the big rocks, the three questions, and the lifeline can help you identify your personal purpose, but often this process requires many years of experience and soul-searching. Dont feel bad if you havent found your purpose. And be aware that it takes more than cultivating purpose to make meaning out of life. To make meaning, you must also forge resolve. You must take your goals seriously. If youre not willing to accept the consequences of the goals you set, or to put in the effort required to achieve them, those goals become meaningless. Curiously, it can often be easier to find meaning and purpose by limiting your options. The more choices we have, the more difficult it is to maintain our resolve. Commitment to a goal and to the rules it entails is much easier when the choices are few and clear, notes Cskszentmihlyi. When we can imagine only few opportunities and few possibilities, it is relatively easy to achieve harmony. Desires are simple, choices are clear. There is little room for conflict and no need to compromise. Because life is complex (and becoming more so every day), its vital to keep your psychic energy focused on the things that matter most. Exercising personal restraint and preferring simplicity can help you stay glued to your purpose, on your goals both big and small. Restraint and simplicity reduce the possibility of distraction. But restraint and simplicity arent enough. When life gets busy and you feel overwhelmed, you must do more than just simplify your environment. At these times, action and intensity become your allies. Harmony is restored to conscious indirectly not by facing up to contradictions and trying to resolve conflicting goals and desires, but by pursuing chosen goals with such intensity that all competition is preempted, writes Cskszentmihlyi. Action helps create inner order. Action cures fear; apparently, it also imparts purpose. The final piece to the making of meaning is self-knowledge, the process by which you sort through conflicting choices. Based on your personal history, preferences, and passions, you must filter the available options to select the goals that truly reflect who you are and what you mean to the world. Example: At any given moment, I have many options available to me. Do I want to write another book? Do I want to speak at a conference in India? Do I want to continue to write about money? Do I want to study Spanish? Do I want to travel more? Less? And so on. Most of these options are good (by which I mean theyre positive, both for me and for the world). Who I am and what my life means is a product of the opportunities I choose to pursue. Ultimately, its up to each of us to discover our lifes purpose though a combination of simplification, action, and self-reflection, by being true to who we are and what we believe, and be setting goals we find worthy of pursuing for their own sake. Shares 104 https://www.getrichslowly.org/how-to-be-happy/
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inkytsuki · 7 years ago
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in celebration for kish’s birthday i’m rereading the annotated version of the original illu so here it is for ya’ll!!
Includes my annotations from the stream and all the mistakes i made when i was twelve. its horrible. you are welcome
tw for furry bashing (i actually love furries i just hate myself)
Prologue (cara literally wrote that monologue from the hangover about being a lone wolf
at the bottom of the page)
The name Illusien has a history. A special name, on Glacitoria. It means Illumination. The name has always been given to a young woman; never a man or boy. The woman would receive her powers on her 16tth birthday; from that moment on, she became the light of Glacitoria.    The name was only given every 110 years. The name was a promise, a promise of life. She would live 100 years (????), then ten more years later, she would be reborn. Each time a different woman, a different power, a brighter light.    Each reincarnation stronger than the last. The ruler of all, lover of all, protector, savior, queen……….
Chapter 1: Illusien
The bright sun shone in her eyes. She winced and squinted as she got up and closed the curtains. Amber slowly opened her eyes. She looked around the room searching from her stuff. Tommorrow (aces thats literally how i spelled it) would be her 16th birthday. She couldn’t stand waiting.    When all Glacitorian’s turn 16, they can have their genes tested, giving them the ability to obtain their powers, and move into the above ground planet with a real sun and sky. The artificial sky and sun we so annoying to Amber.    She slipped downstairs and ran out the front door.    "It’s so dirty down here,“ she thought (kill me). "All you can smell is dirt. I wonder if Alex is awake.” (still kill me) Her brown hair glowed red in the sunlight, her freckles lit up her face and her green eyes, murky green and swamplike, shone in the artificial sun. (this is so homoerotic i was so gay)    She wondered what it would be like above ground. She hoped it would be much more lovely than this. The thought of only having to be underground for 24 more hours was unbearable. She walked on back to the orphanage. Living in an orphange (FUCKING HELL KATIE CORRECTED THIS TO ORPHANGE) was not odd because after your 16th birthday you were sent up.    But, there were in fact squibs (robbed terminology from harry potter), whose (I CANT BELIEVE I USED THE RIGHT FORM OF WHOSE) genes did not match anything but human DNA. So they were not able to go above and were doomed to live underground. Most children did not know their parents.    Being so excited, Amber did not know what time it was. She looked at the clock. It was 9:30 pm. And then she drifted to sleep. (LEGENDARY)
Amber woke up. Happy birthday to me, she thought. She stood up and looked around her room. Lauren was still asleep. (who the fuck is lauren) Wearily, she quietly walked out of the room.    She slipped downstairs. Andrea, the squib owner, caretaker, was waiting for her.    "Are you ready Amber,“ she asked.    "Yes and no, and Andrea?”    "Yes Amber,“    "Is Alex comming?”    "Yes, Celia is bringing him,“    And they left.
Amber looked at Alex, her twin brother. He had her hair, but not her face nor eyes. He looked nothing like her. (he was ugly)    Knowing soon they would pass into the real Glacitoria, was hard. (not this shit again. ALSO RANDOM COMMA FTW) It was a heavy weight. Soon, they reached a large cave. Andrea and Celia stopped.    "We cannot go any farther,” said Andrea.    "You must complete the journey,“ this time the voice was from Celia. (??????)    Amber hugged Andrea good-bye. Alex walked on. They entered the cave. this cave was dingy and weathered. There was a trickle of water running down through the cave.    Amber and Alex kept on and the water grew stronger.    "I see light!” Amber exclaimed.    They crawled out. It was loud. The rumbling of voices filled the air. (WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE GO. THEY LITERALLY ARE IN THE WOODS ALONE FOR MONTHS OK) They walked towards a door-like arch.    "Name.“ A short man boomed from a window (HOW DOES SHE KNOW HES SHORT)    "Age.”    "Sixteen.“    "Today?”    "Today.“    He told her to step into the arch. She did so. A green light flashed around her. (Daisy??? is that you………??) She saw a tail pop out on her back and felt ears sprout on her head. Her hair turned dark red and she felt a warmth.    A spark. It landed on her finger tips and went inside her. Pop! (pop yep. i used the word pop. sound effects. slay.) A green (surprise) outfit surrounded her. Black gloves popped (ugh) on her hands.    A whisper. More whispers. Then she started to float down, the light drifted away. The whispers ceased.    The dwarf (NOW HES A DWARF APPARENTLY) seemed to be in a daze. But one word stayed on her mind.    Illusien.
Chapter 2: The Newest Light
"I’m afraid I’m gonig to have to tell you,” the dwarf (ah…continuity) said, “you’re goig to start to forget who you are. Then you will become someone new.” (DEMENTIA)    "Sir,“ said the girl (???? transition????) "does this have anything to do with that word, Illusien, I believe it was?”    "I’m afraid it does,“ the (very afraid) dwarf said in reply. "That is now your name. You are the new light for Glacitoria.”    It stuck in her head like chewing gum on a desk. ( i like this analogy katie said it was stupid) “You are the newest light for Glacitoria.” She had heard that name before. Illusien.        She thanked him and left. She hadn’t seen her brother (bother was accurate tbh) cross through. Her fox ears and tail twitched. (it pains me to write that.) She stood up. Maybe her brother was a squib.    The beauty of Glacitoria is more than I would ever imagined, with undisturbed nature, the girl thought, much better than underground.    The fresh air smelled and tasted good to Illusien. She closed her green, cat-like (shes a fox tho) eyes to take a deep breath. She felt herself bump into something. (SPOILER: IT KISH)    She opened her eyes and looked up. The soft hazel eyes that looked back at her calmed her. His dark hair gleamed in the sunlight (moonlight was written over this but im so confused)    Real sun(moon)light, she thought, no artifical stuff.    He looked at her with his soft gaze. (hes actually batshit and a brat haha) It made her want to melt. She couldn’t look away.    "H-hi-um i-urr,“ she stammered. (ATTRACTIVE)    "Hello, my name is Mikish,” he said (awkwardly) cooly. “You can call me Kish.”    "Hi, my name is Am–I mean Illusien (theres a little :) next to illusien),“ Illusien said. (cause…we needed…to…hear…her…name…again…)    "You know, you’re a legend,.” Kish replied, “( I ca nt believe i ha ve to ty pe this) A (ew) beautiful one at that,” he said looking her dead in the eyes.    She blushed. (cause thats what u do when a guy is creeping on you) Wait! Mikish, she thought, the words suddenly creeping into her head; he’s a legend himself!    "You know,“ said she (why), "your a legend too.”    "Really? I wondered why they acted all weird when I went through two years ago!“ he said sarcastically. (ive used all my exclaimation points for the rest of my life and its only page like 6)    She laughed. She couldn’t help it. (ew ew ewewewwe WHY DO I HAVE TO TYPE THIS) He was so (…………………) handsome, he made her (???? what is) want to sing Amazing Grace at the top of her lungs. (?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????)    "You tell my story (??),” Kish said, “And I’ll tell you yours.” (I love how there is always a break in the dialogue)
As Kish told her of her past, she watched him. All of his movents (?) so perfect, so smooth, so natural (i would fuckin hope so). He was a work of art.    She looked into his hazel eyes. They were so beautiful. He must be an angel, she thought. Only an angel could be so beautiful. (evan peters is actually weirdly attractive but lol)    Suddenly (obligatory anime faint) she was feeling super dizzy.    "Are you okay?!“ exclaimed Kish.    "Kish…” (jfc)    She closed her eyes and fainted. (why) (actually theres a reason but i didnt do this for that reason unfortunately)
(I do not want to type this part like no why WHY WHY DID I WRITE THIS. I LET PEOPLE READ THIS) It was dark. Illusien could hear the crackling of fire. She rolled over. Kish! Where was Kish? Kish came through the trees, carrying firewood. (another little :) )    "Well, you’re finally awake!“ Kish said.    "What happened?” asked Illusien, rubbing her head.    "You fainted!“ (he said mockingly as he laughed at her. he kept laughing. what a fucking idiot)    Oh no! (please dont make me do this) (this is literally right out of tokyo mew mew a la mode) I (plz) fainted in front of this (no plz) cute guy? (sigh) say it isnt so!
The fire was warm. Kish (sorry i changed POVs. now its in Kish’s pov????) looked up at her. She saw him and he averted his gaze. Her tail twitched as she sat across from him.    She pulled her hair back into (god fucking damn it. why why why why why why) ribboned (no) pigtails. Her bangs and (rolls eyes into the abyss) frames (anime hair sugoii desu) hung down. Her swamplike eyes lit up in the firelight.    His looked gray in the light. It made him look more handsome (so beautiful everyones so beautiful and white). If that was possible. (ew)    "Illusien.”    "Yes, Kish?“ (addressing one another by name so that the deer arent confused)    "You should get some rest. I’ll show you around in the morning. Don’t worry. (oh no  here we go with the white boy bull shit) I’ll always be around to protect you. Always. (haha nope)”    The words hung in her ears. (which ones) She smiled.    "Good night kish.“    "Good night, my light.” (next to it “awwwww how sweet” more like barf)
Chapter 3: Kish
“Good morning! ( :) )”    "Whaa!! (oh my god) Oh, kish!“    "Get up we must get going.”    "Kish (it looks like kush right here) what are you talking about? You sound worried!“    "I’ll tell you when we get there.”    "Okay. I trust you.“ (yoU ARE TOO TRUSTING) –
Her dark red hair bounced as they treaded through the woods. Her orange red ears stood straight up and her eyes on Kish.    The evergreen forest around her sent chills up her spine. She decided to follow behind Kish closer. She heard a stick crack. (ACTION)    "Kish! Get down!”    "What?!“    "Someone’s following us.”    They laid down behind a large log. Kish, she thought, where is he? (hes a fast little fucker apparently) Kish was gone. She heard a crack. Kish shot an arrow at their attacker. (apparently hes ann excellent marksman)    Illusien got up. She looked older now. (is this really the time for this) She didn’t think as she used to. (its been one fucking day) She walked over to Mikish, who was standing over the body. (who he killed with one shot. with a normal bow and arrow)    He picked up an amulet. “This belongs to Xalador (lmfao),” he thought. “This is what I feared!”
“Kish are we there yet? ( :) )”    "Almost.“    They stopped at a stream with a great water fall crashing down. (streams dont get great waterfalls…..like…no. just nope). It’s beautiful, thought Illusien, like nothing ive every seen!    "We’re here, Illusien.”    "Now tell me what we’re doing.“ –
"We are in danger. Mostly you. Do you know who Xalador is?”    "No.“ (why the fuck. she doesnt know anything shit head)    "He is a sorcerer (?). His power is greater than mine and has the ability to drain the power from you. That’s what he wants. Your power. He wants to destroy you
once and for all. If you are destroyed in your youth and not before your 100 years are up the light of Glacitoria will be extinguished forever.” (???????? okay whatever)    Illusien looked into his gray eyes. They had looked hazel the night before. His hair wasnt as dark either. It was sandyish. (jfc)    He looked at her with piercing eyes. (as piercing as an awkward 15 year old virgins eyes can be) She knew he was serious.
As she sat listening she had an eerie feeling as the words seemed to creep into her head:
“Mikish, the controller of mind (originally his power was water). King of all. Caretaker of Illusien. Always born two years earlier. He would follow Illusien through her journey.
Forever, until his destruction.” (too trusting)
They picked berries until the sun started to fade. They found their way back as it was almost sunset. Kish went to find firewood. (after sunset probably hes an idiot)    Illusien (being a fucking furry) started to play with a mouse. She got bored and killed it. (a symptom of both psychopathy and being a furry) She was about to eat it (?>>>????? fuckin furry) when Kish came back.    Kish was going to find some stones to start a fire with. He tried to strike a fire
with stones. (but he fuckin sucks so here we are) Illusien snapped her fingers and the logs burst into flames. (showy littl e cunt)    Kish looked at her. (he does that a lottttT) She smiled, proud of herself. She looked at him. She shivered.    "Good night Kish.“    "Good night Illusien.” Chapter 4: “What do we do?” (slay me already okay. also this chapter is literally 1 page front and back. thats it)
Illusien woke up. Kish wasn’t there. (this is a reoccuring theme)    "Kish?!“ (immediate panic. someone help her)    Kish was sitting on the cliff by the water fall. (okay so i have no idea why this is her immediate thought) "I wonder if I can fly or float or something like Kish,” she thought. (HOW DO WE KNOW HE FLIES??? THIS IS THE FIRST EXAMPLE AND LITERALLY NO ONE SAW HIM DO IT) She concentrated. The she floated up. She opened her eyes and flew foward slowly. She tapped down gently beside Kish. (nice to know she magically learned how to fly and is instantly incredible at it)    "Kish?“    "Yes, Illusien,”    (get ready for it. PREPARE YOUR SELF) “What do we do?” —
(OH GOD. OH GOD YES OH YES LMFAO YES)    "Lord?“    "Yes, Malaki?”    "We’ve located her.“    "Good. (fave fav e fave) Destroy her not. Lead her to me.”    "Lord, what shall we do about the boy?“    ”(THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE) Bring to me him. I want to see the light leave their eyes.“ (?????????????? im like what cause thats not right but ok) —
Illusien waited for a reply from Kish. It was hard for Kish to say what to do. He did want to go through with it. (with what i m)    Kish thought a moment and then realized it had to be done.    "Illusien, we have to kill Xalador. If he doesn’t die, we surely will and the whole world will be under his control for all eternity. (i m laughing so hard rn)” Kish couldn’t look her in the eyes. He knew it was dangerous. But so was the rest of her life.    One mistake and all of Glacitoria will be gone forever, he thought. Or at least as we know it.    "Okay. But one question. How do we kill him?“ (illusien asking the important questions)
(wtf is this and why did i change povs and shit)    All of her past lives, thought Kish,she has defeated her enemies. Throughout all her reincarations she hasn’t failed. But what if this time, she doesn’t suceed??
Illusien looked around. Crack. Another crack. Something was out there. A dark shadow. It came closer. Then everything went black. (THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR A NARCOLEPTIC EPISODE)
Chapter 5: Captivity (?)
Kish woke up. He looked around. Illusien was gone.    "Illusien!”    No answer. He waitied, she didn’t come back. He started on his way. He decided to fly up to see where was. No movement. He couldn’t see anything in the dense forest. He realized he had to track her, (this was good until this point right her) or lose her forever. (F ucKin)
Illusien startled. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Kish, she thought. She opened her eyes. She was not by the stream anymore. (THE WRITING IS SO LIGHT RIGHT HERE JFC)    Illusien felt the tears well up in her eyes. (shes a cryer unfortunately)She didn’t know where she was. A figure appeared in front of her. He smelled charred. (HE SMELLED OF BURNING FLESH. WHAT A FUCKING GREAT DESCRIPTION 12 YR OL D ME BYE) And dingy. (nice. a real man) He leaned down and gave her a hand. (like a real anime gentleman) When she stood her green eyes met his equally murky eyes.    His dark hair blew in the wind (fuck) as he looked down at her. (wait i lied this is my favorite line) He didn’t look like a kidnapper.    "Hello.“ He said with a (totally sugoi) bow. (who the fuck does this little shit think he is.) ("I just met you and this is crazy. But i just kidnapped you. so fuck me maybe”)    Illusien though for a moment, then said, “Hello.” though “why did you kidnap me” would have been more appropriate. (narcolepsy man)    His murky eyes glistened (ANIME). Suddenly, she (sighhh) felt weak in the knees. She couldn’t move, she couldnt run, she couldnt (fucking stop making run on sentences?) do anything. (its the GHB in your system, honey. hes a creep.)    He was (no good god why did) even more handsome that Kish. (not rly tbh) He was hypnotising. Finally, he spoke up. (did they just stare at each other for like 2 minutes bc)    "My name is Luke. I have saved you.“
"My lord, we have lost her.”    "Well, then Malaki, find HER!“    "Lord Xalador.:    "Yes Jesse”    "Malaki you tell him.“ (pussy)    "Lord, we think she has found the boy.”    "Do NOT (underlined very heavily) let them get away!!“ (they already…ok) —
Illusien sat across from Luke. It was all confusing to her. (you are too trusting. he could be anyone. he could be a serial killer. a rapist. i mean. you faint all the time. you  need to g et away) The journey had not yet begun (what mother fuckin journey are you prattling about) and where was Kish? "I have saved you” From what?    She took a bite of the delicious (why was i such a fuckin weeb) rice cake, it was delicious (SLAY Me). Then she looked at Luke. (she looked at look is what i wrote the first time lmao) He stood. She stood too.    "Luke?“ (she always addressed people by their name like theres someone else there)    "Yes?”    "What have you saved me from?“    (DRUMFUCKInrOLL) "Mikish.”    "Mikish?“    "Yes. You must not believe him. He is a deciever!” (did i just watch spy kids 3)    "Kish?“ Illusien said. "He just doesn’t seem the type.” (what exactly is the type? since….theyre decieving you???)    "Oh but he is. He works for Xalador!“ (zaxbys he works at zaxbys)    "What can you tell me about Xalador ?( :D)”    "He is new to Glacitoria. Very young. In the four months you have been in Glacitoria he have been rising, plotting your downfall.“ (it has literally been like 3 days max. MAX)    "Why was I chosen?”    "You will find out. Illusien, you are the light. You are our queen, and our savior. Now, you should be worried about destroying Xalador.“ (he dont know. cryptic little shi.t)    Illusien looked up. She didn’t remember who she was anymore. (??) She turned to face Luke, who was standing behind her.    "Luke, I don’t know who to trust, anymore.”    "You can trust me.“    "Well. That’s exactly what Kish said.” (SASS)
Lord Xalador stood. He was ready to destroy all surrounding him.    "Malaki (i cant wait till i ge t to the glorious mispelling of his name), why is it the simple things I ask of you and Jesse, never get done!“    "Sir, we try our best.”    "Your best is not suitable!“ (wreckd)    "Lord, may we add that–”    "Jesse, fetch me Mikish.“ —
Illusien looked up (she does that a fuckin lot) throught the trees. The tall oak she was under glistened with dew. "You can trust me.” Can I really trust him? she pondered. Is he right about Kish?    Luke walked around the tree to where Illusien was sitting. He looked at her. She caught his gaze and he looked away. (ahh. romance.)    "Illusien?“    "Yes?”    He reached around his neck. He took off his necklace. It had a ruby on the end.    "I want you to have this.“ (white boy gift)    "Your pendant?” (fuckin wait for it)    "No. My promise. ( :) )“
Chapter 6: Lessons
She let her hair down. (god damn it) She brushed through it. (katies annotation on the page: "WHERE IN THE HELL DID SHE GET A BRUSH?”) Luke, it bounced through her head, Luke. (new hotter boy instant crush) She clutched the pendant with one hand. She closed her eyes. (was this it? was this the boy she was going to give her virginity to? was this love? she had his necklace, a part of him, a symbol of his affection. theyd only known each other a day, and he hadnt even asked her to be his girlfriend….but still…the necklace had to mean something….right????)    She looked over at Luke. He was still sleeping. She stood, put out the fire, and went to sleep. Luke opened his eyes (like a fuckin creeper), snapped his fingers and the log burst back into flames. (WHHHHAAAT)
— (HOLY SHIT THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD AND I LOVE THIS PART BYE) The sun shone through the trees. Kish was on his way to Xalador’s castle. He was upset with himself. He thought, why did I let her get away? Lord, oh god, the Lord will probably kill me, I wasn’t (best spelling mistake ever) supposeded to let her go.    He shook his head. I didn’t want to bring her in the first place. (!!!!) No use fighting emotions now. He couldn’t believe he let himself fall in love with her. (in 3 days nonetheless. impressive)    He looked up, the castle was just up ahead. He took a deep breath and pushed her out of his head for a moment, and headed inside. (this isnt the part i thought it was)
“So who is this Xalador guy any ways? I mean seriously, no one will tell me anything.”    "When the time comes, you will know.“ (this guy is useless. he aint know shit from dirt)    "Why does everyone keep saying that?” (because i was twelve and hadn’t actually come up with anything yet. i literally sat in my prealgebra class and wrote you)    "Because it’s true. You will know the horrible truth when the time comes,“ he paused, "and that is a promise.” (grOSS LITTLE SHIT STOP SAYING THAT)    Illusien looked away. (b-baka!!) She knew he would keep his promise. She clutched her necklace, closed her eyes, and turned to face him.    "What about my brother?“ —
"Mikish, your late.” (a wizard is never late, frodo baggins. nor is he early. he arrives precisely when he means to)    "Yes, my lord, I know, I apologize.“ ("I brought starbucks tho.” “You asshole! I only drink coffee from joe muggs! the cafe inside books a million!! sarah is my favorite barista!1” “OH NO SORRY MY LORD”)    "Where is the girl?“ (he asked, stroking his hairless face. he was a dark lord. why could he not grow facial hair.)    "Lord, you must understand, I, I…I lost her. She was kidnapped in the night.”    "Useless! Everyone of you. Malaki, Jesse, and you, of all people, Mikish I trusted you to bring her to me!“    "My lord! I really,  please I beg of you, one more chance.”    "Fine, Mikish. Get out of my sight.“
"Your brother, made it through, that’s true. But I say with a heavy heart, I cannot tell you what has happened to him.”    There was a brief silence between them. She (surprise) looked up at him.    "Teach me. Teach me to control my powers, Luke. I know you have the power of fire just like me. So teach me.“    He hesitated, "Okay Illusien, I promise.” (shuuuuut uppppp) —
(OKAY I LOVE THIS PART LMAO) How could I be so stupid? Kish kicked a tree. I can’t believe I did this. (from this point on katie is writing the scene and im helpingokay sorry. this is us together.) She probobly is sitting with the rebel boy, and he is telling her who i really am. He pulled at his hair in frustration. Lord Xalador expected Kish to bring Illusien to him.    How did Xalador talk me into this? If only I’d known……… (katie wrote: “how much of a slut she is…..” jfc man we were so brutal to this poor narcoleptic furry) Luke looked at Illusien. Her breathing was soft and light. She looked so much beautiful when she slept. (lmfao im dying rn so much beautiful) She was peaceful. The questioning look on her face was gone. (im always so confused by the weird out of context things katie wrote. like wtf was she talking about.)    He could see the damage Kish had done. (da…mag..e…??/) She stirred slightly. He wondered what she dreamt about. Kish had put through her head so many lies. Luke could see she didn’t want to believe him about Kish. (reasonable…since she doesn’t even know you dude.)    Her gentle nature was greater than he had ever seen. (oh not this fucking bullshit again comE ON) Her radiance and beauty were equal to her personality. (nonexistant??? cause really shes kind of like a brick.) (katie wrote: “bullshit! :)”)    Illusien shivered in her sleep. He walked over and covered her with his blanket. She calmed. He wouldn’t need it anyway because he wouldn’t be sleeping anyway. (…..what he gonna do bc,)    Kish would be on his way to find her at anytime and he had to be alert. (right. cause kish is the biggest threat in the whole forest. im laughing too har d omg)
Kish wandered through the forest. He couldn’t find her. It’s no use, he thought, the rebel boy has probably taken her out of the woods by now any way. (neg. also THE REBEL BOY WHY DID WE CALL HIM THAT IM GONNA PEE.)    Kish was confused. He wanted to be with her but he wanted her to be safe. (be…with…her……..youve known her like 4 days, kiddo. you just…want…other things ok)    He knew this was impossible, but he couldn’t think clearly anymore.    The other night he had read into her thoughts. He implanted false thoughts and sensed where she was. (sensed where she was?? ok katie PLEASE explain this to me i do not understand your reasoning behind this.) HE COULD DO THAT AGAIN!!! DUH!!!! (i dont think m y commentary is necessary on this lmao) The answer was right there! But did he want to put her in jeporady? (thats how its spelled) (katie loved loved loved the word jeopardy) As soon as they were together again, she would be in trouble. (understatement of the generation. TROUBLE. HA. more like mildly mortal peril)    If he could just decide! Thoughts kept whirling through his head. If he sacrificed her safety for his pleasure (WOW. WOW. WOW. THATS HIGHLY INNAPPROPRIATE WORDING FOR A TWELVE YEAR OLD. WOWZA) he would be a jerk. If he didn’t look for her, he would be killed.    Maybe they just weren’t meant to be………….
Illusien stirred. She slowly opened her eyes. It was morning. (WILL LUKE BE THERE.) She looked down and realized that Luke had given her his blanket in the night. The fire had long since gone out.    She wondered where Luke was. She hadn’t seen him since last night. (OH NO)    As hard as the truth is to realize, Illusien said to herself, I’m starting to believe Luke. (under what basis? you’ve hardly spoken to the guy, and the only thing you really know about him is that he’s kinda cute and he smells bad. he told you that the last guy you were with was the bad guy but you didn’t really have any stock yourself that made it fit and you have absolutely no reference that can tell you if thE MAN WHO KIDNAPPED YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IS TELLING YOU THE TRUTH) (like sorry that birdman jr told you no flamingos when it came to kish but like you dont really know either of these guys) I mean, if kish was really that worried about me, wouldn’t he come looking for me? (girl)    And waht about when I brought up the subject of Xalador? He spoke hesitantly and always seemed to be hiding something. (did he??) Luke, wouldn’t lie to me, would he? (YOU DONT KNOW THAT.)    Luke, she was starting to fall for him. (YOUVE DECIDED THIS IN LESS THAN 3 PAGES) He was handsome and charming. (not the word i would use) But still, she still was getting over how Kish had built up her trust and was going to turn her over to the “Lord Xalador”. (but still she still)    She sensed Luke in the near distance, heading back. (her furry senses were tingling) Illusien quickly made sure her hair was in place, her ears neat, her tail shiny, and that she had nothing on her face. (picturing her grooming herself was the least attractive thing and im sure luke is not into furries either…however…..birdman jr)    Luke approached her. “Good morning.”    "Good morning, Luke,“ she blushed.    "I assume you’re ready for your lessons today.”    Lessons! Shoot! (shoot. shoot. i said shoot) I had forgotten about those. Of course I’m not ready! But I can’t let him know that!!    (katie wrote most of this scene lmao)“Okay, first, Illusien, you need to stand on that rock.”    "Okay, now what?“    "Incenerate that tree!!!” (god)    "What? OH!“ She snapped her fingers and pointed at the tree.    "It didn’t work, Luke.”    "You have to concentrate Illusien.“    She tried again. She thought only of what she was doing. (thats kind of shitty??/ like you have super powers but theyre INCREDIBLY difficult to use. like if you get mildly distracted they don’t work anymore) She snapped her fingers and the tree bust into blue flames. (i wrote that the flames were blue bc blue/white is REALLY HOT FIRE. but….then katie picked up after this paragraph.)    "Luke, why did it burst into BLUE flames?”    "Because the tree posed no threat to you. Your powers are enhanced when you are angry or scared. I am also holding back your power. (HOW IS HE DOING THAT. THATS SO FUCKING RANDOM) If I didn’t, you would probobly set the whole forest on fire.“ She gave him a questioning look. (ME TOO ILLU. What he’s describing as what he’s doing: holding back your power, sounds an awful lot like xalador’s power. because xalador drains the power from others. If Luke has the ability to siphon off her power, that would most definitely point to an ulterior motive in this plot. so thanks for making shit up katie. congrats on being 12)    "Illusien, your power is so great, so powerful, that you have enough to light Glacitoria. So, you could easily set fire to this forest. Your powers need to be controlled. This is what I’m trying to teach you.” She nodded and hopped off the rock.    "As long as you are with me Luke, I think I’ll be just fine.“ (my face right now. just imagine it. like ew no stop jfc) Illusien stared deep into Luke’s eyes (fidskfvcmdcx vfv) . Luke took her hand. (hand is darkened and underlined like 13 times and im so disappointed in katie rn. i trusted her) (thank god i write the next tiny little section)
Kish’s anger was getting worse. There was nothing to hold him back. He hated Xalador, but he knew this is what Xalador wanted, but he felt he must find her. (OOPS. NOT FINGER HER OMFG.) (ALSO THAT SENTENCE MADE NO SENSE) The conseqences were great, but he wanted to be with her more than l fe (thats what it says??) itself, and nothing was about to stop him. (oh gross, me. wtg. thats just. no. save me from myself)
Luke (was is scratched out) is incredible! He has taught me to control and use my powers. (literally no he didnt. you stood on a rock and he talked about how you were so stupid that you were going to burn the whole world down. which is actually probably right) But what would I do without him, she throught. (IM PISSING @ THROUGHT)    I’m just taking a quick break, but still. I wonder how he knew where I was the other night. (a little thing called stalking..?) Never mind that. (NEVERMIND THAT???? YES MIND THAT. YES MIND THAT WITH EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING) Oh Luke’s calling me. I wonder what I’ll have to do now. Oh well as long as I’m with him. I know I’m safe. (YOU DONT KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT. I REALLY WANT TO HOLD YOU AND TEACH YOU SELF DEFENSE. AND IDK TEACH YOU ANYTHING ABOUT  ANYTHING OKAY IM A CONCERNED MOMMY)
Luke looked at Illusien. (he couldn’t believe she was this niave. It was far too easy to get her alone. Insert creepy thoughts here bc that hair is not the scariest thing about him ok) She seemed ready to start again.    "Okay, Illusien, stand on the rock again.”    Illusien stood upon the rock. (fun fact, this whole thing still takes place in my old back yard in my head bye)    "All right, now concentrate, (NO NO NONONONONOONNOONNOONONNONNNNOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOO) (WHY WAS I SUCH A FUCKIKNG IDIOT. THIS IS THE MOST EMBARASSING THIHNG WHY DO I HGAVE TOT TYPE IT) think a feeling, a wonderful feeling, a time or place or thing that makes you feel such a way. Let it fill you. Now fly.“ (JUST KIDDING. LUKE IS ACTUALLY PETER FUCKING PAN GOOD BYE)    She did as he said. She let it fill her. She started to rise. Up higher and higher. She was flying!
Kish was still looking for Illusien. He looked up. Illusien, he thought. Now’s my chance!    "Illusien!” —
Illusien opened her eyes, she was falling. The ground was getting closer. (I LITERALLY JUST REALIZED THAT I WROTE THIS EXACT FUCKING SCENE IN VIOLETS THING A YEAR LATER THATS HOW ROMANTIC AND GREAT I THOUGHT IT WAS. BYE) She closed her eyes and braced herself. She felt something catch her and break her fall.    She opened one eye. Luke, had caught her. (unnecessary commas FTW) She blinked.    "Luke,“ her cheeks flushed. (WHY DOES THE TOP OF LITERALLY ALMOST EVERY SINGLE PAGE JUST HAVE "Ichigo” WRITTEN THERE.)    Luke let her down. (she was grateful for that. She would have been much more grateful, however, if Luke would take a god forsaken bath. He smelled so rancid as their bodies pressed against one another. It was off putting.) Illusien stared deep into his eyes. Luke pulled her into a kiss. They were so close she could feel his heart beat. (wow)    It was long and slow. (cool) Illusien finally pulled away at the sound of a rustling in the bushes.
Kish stepped out of the bushes. (Sniveling, he tried to look like he hadn’t started to cry, but his eyes were telling all sorts of tales, brimming over with salty liquid. Not tears. They most definitely were not tears. He wasn’t crying.) He had a look of anger on his face. (But it wasn’t anything more than a facade. He was hurt, hurt right down to his core.) Luke stepped out in front of Illusien.    "You stay away from her, Mikish! You’ve done enough damage already!“    (He clenched his jaw, his hatred of Luke allowing him a new strength. His voice came out in a growl, his loathing dripping out the way an angry dog drools, throwing its barks directly at what’s pissing it off.) "Fool. (the best insult in the world) You don’t know who you’re messing with, Rebel. Now step aside, Rebel, she’s mine.”    "No. I won’t. You’re selfish and evil ways won’t prevail. (oh god why did i) Eat fire! (eat. fir re. good by ee. RIP in piss @ me) Luke shot a fireball at Kish. Kish stood. (aflame. He was aflame, burning alive in his own homosexuality) (seriously tho he just stands up like nah u cant burn me bitch )    "I see. But this won’t be the last you see of me. Illusien, I’ll be waiting.“ (thats…it?? wow way to be a man mikish) He took one, longing look at Illusien. She was staring at him with a blank look, her cheeks still flushed from kissing Luke. He shook his head and walked away. He could feel the both of their gazes on him. He just kept on walking. (oh, bae.)
— Chapter 7: Love and HATE
"Luke, ”    "Illusien, we have to be careful now.“    "I know, I just don’t know what to do.” Her tears stained her cheeks. (are they ink bc thats not how that works.) Luke put his arms around her.    "I just worry for your safety, Luke.“ —    (YES MORE ANGRY KISH HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIT) I should have known! Kish hit his head with his hand. How could I be so stupid? She doesn’t love me; she loves the rebel.    He kicked himself. She’d either be his or die at the hand of Xalador. He would take care of the rebel himself.    Oh, how he hated the rebel. He envied him for stealing her heart before he had a chance. Before…….(oops! wait)… Before……….. (before kish was able to lose his virginity?? is that what we’re getting at bc………….. lol)
—-
Luke could’t believe what had just happened. He and Illusien finally had a moment to themselves, what he had be wanting for such a long time, and he couldn’t enjoy it. (you have literally been alone together this whole time i’m/)    Mikish had ruined everything. They had to move on. Mikish would surely tell Lord Xalador their whereabouts.    He hated to see the tears in Illusiens eyes. The look of terror on her face had startled him.    He would do anything for her, even sacrifice himself. (plz do. right now) Her beautiful face had been twisted with fear and he kept replaying in his mind.    He was (god fucking damn it) truly in love with Illusien. (do they live on a planet where love is just constant and always in your face bc) He had never been this way toward anyone else. Now that Kish had been angered (Aangered. lmfao), he would be attacking Illusien’s thoughts more often. (WHY DID I NOT DEVELOP ON THIS. okay its very important to note JUST HOW OVER POWERED KISH IS. Kish literally has the ability to read peoples mind/change their thoughts/manipulate them/possess peoples minds/detatch his own soul from him body. BU T THATS NEVER COVERED. KISH LITERALLY IS SO FUCKING POWERFUL)    And Luke could not see this happen to her anymore. Illusien gentle touched her fingers to her lips. She couldn’t believe Luke had kissed her. (good fucking god no this is some bull) She rememebered seeing Kish and his anger and jealosly (scratched out and corrected to jeluosly and then jealosy. are either of those correct even ) and the hatred in his eyes.    His words would haunt her forever. She flushed at the thought of Mikish. (what)    Luke was right. Kish is just a deciever. What was I thinking trusting him? He was just thinking of himself. She hated Kish. (wow) There were not many she hated. (IM HOWLING RN LMAO)    She leaned against the tree. Still in shock over what had just happened. (thats not a sentence.) She needed Luke more than she knew. (ew good lord, abraham help little me. some force go back in time and just delete this sentence from existence.)    (top of the page reads: “KATHERINE JANE PARR LUVVS THIS BLUE PEN!!!!”) An eerie feeling crept over her. She stood motionless.    "Luke?“ (OH FUCK WHERE IS HE)    Silence.    "Luke?” (UH Oh)    Silence. She (FUCKING HELL THIS TYPO IM LAUGHING SO HARD) turened around. A dark figure appeared behind her. (i hope its luke)    "(man fuck 12 year old me) How dare you deny me. Illusien, (MAN FUCK 12 YEAR OLD ME) oh yes, you shall now have to choose between me and death!“ (bye im dead)    "Kish?” She backed up. “Luke! Help!” (damn it) (this scene is so)    He darted at her. She flew up. She shot a burst of flames at Kish. Luke appeared below her. He shot a burst as well. (this aint a scene) (its a goddamn cry for help)    "Go back to the shadows Mikish.“ (didnt i already say this shit? it was stupid the first time)    "Not without her, Rebel.” (why did we call him that its not cool)    "She’s not going anywhere.“ (why dont we let the lady decide?)    "Then I’ll kill you.” (WHOOOOAAAAAA. WHOAAA. DUDE CHILL.)    Illusien stepped out in front of Luke. “You will not Kish. (why nottttttt its turkey season) I don’t plan on going anywhere with you anytime soon.” The tears poured down her face as she said this. (bitch y u cryin)    "I’m not going with out you Illusien!“ (normally this would be when he became a weird 3rd wheel companion and they became his parents lmao but)    "I’m not going with you, I plan on staying with Luke.”    "I could make you (ew wwww ui dont wanna type this part) b(ereeewwwww) my (fjkldsadhfldjfkldjfkdjkfjdk) pup (py he sai d puppy) pet if I wanted to.“    "But you won’t. So if you would kindly leave.” (WHOA. FIRE QUEEN ICE COLD SIR)    "This isn’t the end. I will never surrender.“ (im so glad i learned how to write dialogue) And he left.    Illusien dropped to her knees. Luke picked her up in his (sighs forever) strong arms. He carried her back to the campsite. (thank god this sce ne is over)
Luke laid Illusien down. He looked at her. (way to be a creep. just stare at her. im sure she doesnt mind) He knew it was hard for her. Her first battle, it must have been rough. I’m starting to worry about her though. (random shift into first person ok)    She’s scared of what will happen next. I can honestly say I don’t blame her. (this next part was written so light that i thought the chapter was over)    He kissed her gently on the lips. She smiled back at him. She dropped her head and fell unconscious. (SLAY ME) (BURY ME IN SATIN) (NARCOLEPTIC FURRY MAN)    He covered up. (a gentleman) They could move in the morning. She needed to sleep. Her first battle would be the worst. (I HIGHLY FUCKING DOUBT THAT. THERE WERE LIKE 3 MOVES MADE???? i mean like yeah the first gym leader is harder to beat but like then you get a solid team going an shit but like the elite four??? ok)
Kish stomped off. (surprise) If only he could lure the rebel and Illusien somewhere towards the castle. Or at least get them away from each other. But Illusien wasn’t ready fight yet and Killing the rebel with her alive would cause her to hate him, although she already did. (what is happening)    He sat down. He had to come up with a plan. Just what would he do? (who knows man)
"Jesse, has he found them again?”    "Yes my lord. He had told us where they are.“ (how ???HOW YALL BITCHES AINT GOT PHONES????????????????????? TELL MEE. like i just came up with a way literally right now but i was 12 so)    "Good. If Kish has fought them–”    "He has.“ (imagine Xaladors face at being interrupted. imagine the angry egg salad)    "Then she will be weak. She will have to rejuvinate the entire night.” (ooooohhhhhhhhh so tough to do??? like go to sleep shes really good at that)    "Yes sir, that is correct.“    "Malaki, send some troops (this is where the random troll army comes in???) in. I want to capture her while she’s weak.”
Illusien opened her eyes. She was feeling better. Luke was sitting by the fire. (INCREDIBLE. HALFWAY THROUGH THE NOVEL WE SEE SOME INCREDIBLE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. LUKE IS THERE WHEN SHE WAKES UP FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.) She stood. She walked over to Luke. She sat next to him. (good sweet bagel bread wtf is this bullshit why )    "Luke we have to do something soon.“ (damn not even a good morning)    "I know. But I don’t want to lose you.” (bitch aint no one said shit about losing no one?? chill)    "Luke, you won’t. And that is MY promise.“ (deep fry me and put chocolate sauce on me because im so fucking done)
(this whole next page is scratched out. who knows what it holds but im gonna decipher it) Luke looked at Illusien. she was worried and knew they had to move soon. He looked into her murky green eyes, then looked away. (jfc man. youre so pathetic)    "If anything happened to you, I’d never forgive myself.”    "And I’d never blame you, Luke. I love you.“ (BYE FELICIA. IM DONE WITH U)    He pulled her close. she buried her face in his chest. She looked up at him.    "We have to kill him soon.” (NOW WE’RE TALKING. THIS IS WAHT I CARE ABOUT GIRL)    Illusien looked at Luke. (they do that so much) (also looked at look. ive always done that so muc h lmao) She held her breath.    "I know we’ll head there soon. Just not yet. You’re not ready.“    "Luke will I ever be read? Of course I won’t. But I know what I must do and I intend to do it.” She pulled away from Luke.    "At least rest the night you’ll need your strenghth (lmao). Promise me this.“    Her cheeks flushed.  "Fine, but we’ll head tomorrow.”    Luke pulled her into another kiss and her flush disappeared. She didn’t pull away. He broke away and kissed her forehead. “Good night.” Chapter 8: Destiny’s light
(at the the top of this page i wrote: “IM CHECKING OUT AT 11:30!!!!!” and katie wrote underneath it: “YOU GAY CRACK MONKEY” good lord) “Illusien must die now. Jesse, I cannot wait any longer. Malaki’s troups (is that the correct spelling i dont think so) should have found them by now.”    "Yes, my lord, we understand.“    "Hurry, we don’t have all night.” — “Luke I can’t sleep anymore.”    "It’s alright then. Just sleep as much as you can.“ (when the narcoleptic furry cant sleep)    (this whole part is scratched out, but as the rules say, i have to type it) Illusien scooted closer to Luke. (lol no wonder. Katie wrote like this whole page) He looked away.    "Illusien.”    "Yes, Luke?“    "Maybe it’s best if we…..”    "Yes?“    "Nevermind, Illusien. It isn’t right.” (is he askin to fuck bc)    "Okay…..“ She gave him a quesitoning look. He shook his head. (HE WAS)    Illusien took his hand. He brushed it off and got up. ("That’s not helping my boner, Illu.”)    "What is wrong, Luke?“    "Nothing.”    "Don’t say that. I know something is wrong. You don’t brush me away from you for no reason.“ (???? im lost af tbh.)    "Alright, it’s just that I keep thinking that you and me together are bring Mikish here. He seems to be drawn to us.”    "I don’t think so. It’s just his jealousy of you.“ (okay so disregard everything in that blurb because it makes no sense)    "I just can’t help feeling you know if he’s watching our every move.” (??? what does this even mean or say) `    "I know I get the same feeling.“ She looked at him dead in the eyes. (notice she didn’t look him dead in the eyes. she was dead in the eye in this sentence. amazing what one word can change)    "And that’s why I seek your comfort.” (they fuckin yall) —
Why did I tell them where they are? Kish felt like a total idiot. Now she will die. This massacre of my own heart, killing itself and all others in its path. (THERE I AM. LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL METAPHOR. I WAS IN THERE SOMEHWERE)    Hot tears streamed down his angry face. He hated her, he loved her. He hated the rebel, the rebel loved her, she loved the rebel back. He hated himself. (man this is good. of course i could write angst)    He looked to the sky. A cloudy night. Ugly, he said to himself, just like the rest of this world, all of the world, (especially Luke. Goddamn that fucker was ugly), except her.
Illusien sat away from Luke. She closed her eyes. She turned away from him. After their conversation she could bear to look at him. She knew he was trying to protect her but of ocurse she wished they didn’t have to worry about each other’s safety. (healthy relationships normally don’t have that element)    Illusien wiped the tears from her eyes. If Luke hadn’t saved her she would be dead. But of course, now he pushed her away. The tears came again. (GIRL YOU DONT NEED A MAN. MAYBE A HOSPICE NURSE, BUT NOT SPECIFICALLY A MAN)    She heard a nose. (not a noise. a nose) Then a rustling in the bushes. She looked, the movement stopped. (this part is so ?/?) Her hair had grown long. She picked at it. The rustling resumed. (the fuck was that about lulu. why was that a necessary detail @ 12 yr oldme)    Luke stood. Illusien looked at him. (THIS PART IS SO WTF WHY DID I DO THIS BECAUSE IT AINT MAKE A LICK OF SENSE) Then thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands (thats a v big jump in numbers) of Malaki’s troups poured in.
“My lord, I have good news.”    "What is it Jesse?“    "Malaki has found them and the ambush is in process as we speak.” (UHM HOW DOES HE KNOW HOMIE)    "Good. Tell Malaki to kill no one. Bring them all to me.“
Illusien let out a scream as she was quickly aprehended. It all seemed like it was in slow motion to Luke.    (this is my favorite part) "ILLUSIEN!!!!!”    He fought the troups. He made his way to Illusien. He was in arms reach of her hand. He went for it, but just grazed her fingers.    "I’m sorry,“ he called back. He looked at the face of the one holding her. Maliki himself. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MALIKI) The scar across his face contrasted her beauty. He was pulled away. Tears stained his eyes. (inky ass tears) He was trampled, and that was the last thing he saw, troll feet. — “Illusien.”    She blinked awake.    "Illusien.“    Her dream faded. She was alone. (yet another kink coming guys. i do not disappoint.) The rusty bars gave away her location. Xalador’s dungeon. A gruff voice mumbled behind her. (and to the end of the line we have <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3)    (And here, I blatantly stole shit from Aladdin, a movie that Im not even fond of) She turned. An old man (????/??) sat behind her. He saw the tears on her face. (i wish yall could see my face right now because i am looking so concerned for this b)    "What’s the matter with you?”    "I just want to see them one last time.“ (girl chill dont be laying it all on this brother. YOU AINT KNOW HIM)    "Who?”    "Luke and my brother.“    "Ah the love of your life and the brother you miss dearly.” (yeah, martha stewart we don’t need your commentary)    "Yes.“    "Well, I can’t promise you’ll see this Luke person again, but you will see your brother again.”    Then he seemed to disappear. She was once again alone. (WHERE DID HE GO. WHAT HAPPENED. WHAT SIGNIFICANCE DID THAT HOLD)
“Lord, she’s in the castle dungeons."        "Good job, Malaki. Now resume your post.” (which is?)    "Yes, sir.“    "Jesse, go check on our other prisoner. He might like to see Mikish,” he said with an evil smile. (THE TRIFECTA)
Luke woke to a great darkness. The silence was eerie and there was little light. (theres little light in this story anyway. as in little hope that its ever going to get better.) (I JUST REALIZED WHAT PART THIS IS AND IM GOING TO VOMIT) A red crystal appeared in the distance. It light up the darkness. There seemed to be no ground. He seemed to be floating between life and death. (how does that seem exactly)    A slight humming noise accompanied the crystal. It was growling (i think i meant growing) closer. A sound was comming from the crystal, getting louder as it grew closer. A heartbeat.    It grew closer and closer until it shattered. The beating still growing louder and louder. then he realized it was the beating (blehgggg) of (ew) her broken heart. (????/ she aight actually.)
Kish was in pieces. He had been called to see Lord Xalador again. He knew that they had found Illusien and the rebel boy. (scratched out bc i was literally about to PUT IN ANOTHER GUY BECAUSE LULULUKE WASNT WORKING: “He had never even found the chosen boy”) He himself had failed his task. As soon as Xalador released him, Malaki would kill Kish.    Either way, he was dead. Now, he had to make a decision; to run or face his fears.
Illusien sat alone. She kept thinking about how she would die and never see Luke or her brother again.    "Amber?“    "That name sounds familiar.”    "Amber is that you?“    "I don’t know you! I don’t know any Ambers!” (poor narcoleptic furry with amnesia)    Then she saw the face, the familiar face, but then it disappeared. she cried. (surprise) The tears came without control. Then she stopped, a glimmer of hope. She felt it come over her. She would see her brother again and she would see Luke. She didn’t know how, but she would.
Luke’s dream faded. (look at my amazing dictation that definitely never repeats itself.) His breathing was heavy. (he had a good dream apparently lmao) Sweat rolled down his face. He saw the bars. He had been captured.    What about Illusien? (written in my secret code with katie that we used through middle school is this guys name: jake, its spelled star-of-david, comma, backward k, e with a tilda over it. nice) She couldn’t be dead yet! He remembered his dream. Then he rememebered how he had treated her. (dude shut up. that was like the newlywed version of an argument and im not even sure why you started it)    "Lord, let her be alive!“    Footsteps echoed throughout the dungeons. He sat up straight. The solemn face that looked back at him was none other than (the bae) Jesse.    "You all set?”    "No.“    "Tough luck.”    "Tell me.“    "Tell you what?”    Luke grabbed Jesse by the collar of his shirt. (i guess through the bars)    "You know what I mean Jesse.“    "Oh! The girl. Yes. She’s alive. Not for much longer though.” (sass)    "My brother, you’re making a huge MISTAKE. I can’t believe you w—“ (katie was like "whore amiright” and i was like “would do this???”)    "Jesse, the guest is here.“    Kish walked in. He didn’t show any emotion on his face. Luke walked away to the other side of the cell.    "Now Kish, you realize my brother is here on your account.”    "Yes I do.“    "Well I’ll leave you two alone to talk.” Jesse walked away.    More footsteps sounded, then a door closed.    "Look rebel, I didn’t want to hurt her. But you on the other hand–“    "It’s your fault. She’ll DIE because of you. Your selfish ways have once again left another to die. If she dies, we all die. Me AND you.” Kish looked away.    Kish said nothing more and turned and left. Luke knew he had to save Illusien soon or they would both perish.
Illusien startled. The clanking of metal and the jingle of keys.    "The time has come.“
Jesse came back. This time he unlocked the door. Then pulled Lukes arms around his back. (that sounds way different than its meant. it sounds like he made luke hug him)    "I’m sorry, Luke, but now is your time.”
(sexual tension oooooo) Malaki forcibly pulled Illusien out. (more kink from me. im so fucking sorry im so sorry) He pulled her against him. “My, my, what a beautiful girl in such an ugly dungeon.” (KATIE ACTUALLY WROTE THAT DIALOGUE LMAO)    "It’s people like you that put me in this position.“ (SASS FROM LULU) Malaki slapped her across the face. Her cheek grew red. A sly smile ran across his scarred face.    The anger seared inside her. She felt the flames enclose her. Everything came naturally. (NEVER HIT SOMEONE FOR NO REASON DICK HEAD) She sent all her force at him. He was knocked down. He laughed. (he fire proof too??? this some bullshit)    Her grabbed her once again and took her out of the cell. (you aint run or nothing lulu????) Chapter 9: Betrayal
Luke had seen and heard what Malaki had done to Illusien. (goddamn it shut up) Thankfully, she was alive, when she passed by him he was relieved. But, then again, Malaki was so cruel to her. (CRUEL MALIKI)    Luke was drug along behind her. Being so close to her was hard for Luke. (why? can u not control ur bonerz?) He thought back on what he had said. Mikish was the least of their problems now.    He walked on. Being held by Jesse was one of the worst experiences. His own brother was leading him and the most beautiful woman he had ever met (is that really an important detail at this point in the plot????) to their death. (their singular death. they are one)    He stood strong and fought the tears (lmao be a man fight those tears birdman jr)  for he feared her life more than his. (noble tbh)
Illusien walked with her head down. How had Malaki absorbed her attack? (tbh i wanna know) She was scared. (A FUCKING UNDERSTATEMENT SHE IS ABOUT TO DIE TO SAY SHE IS ONLY SCARED IS A BUNCH OF B-O-L-O-G-N-A: bullSHIT)    She daren’t look at Luke. (bye. kill me) The pain she felt inside was more than she had ever felt. She loved Luke more than anyone or anything. (please get counselling illu im concerned)    She (oh god this is tHE WORST SENTENCE IN THE WHOLE THING) left a trail of tears (like the one native americans were murdered on hell yeah) as she walked. She said nothing. No sound could be heard but the sound of footsteps on the stone ground. The came to an arch. It was golden, studded with precision. The jewels glimmered.    Past and through the arch, sat a shadowy figure sat on a throne. Xalador, Illusien knew right away. This moment she had dreaded for so long was now happening.    She caught Luke’s gaze. She looked at him with longingness. (please)    "I’m sorry, Illusien.“
Finally the moment is here, the moment of my triumph. Xalador grinned. He would soon rule all.    He saw (weesnaw) them walk in. He felt another energy as strong as Illusien. Where was it coming from? (where tho)
Kish stood next to Lord Xalador. He looked at Illusien but he said nothing. Luke looked upon him hatefully.    Xalador sighed dreamfully.    "Thank you, Mikish, for making all this possible.” He saw Illusien’s gaze shift to Kish and back again.    Kish said nothing and just stood attentively.
Illusien directed her eyes in the direction of the shadowed Xalador. Why was he holding back his identity?    The moonlight was shining through the glass in the roof in the center of the room. They stopped under the light.    Illusien looked up, a full moon. Jesse and Malaki walked away to let them stand. Neither Luke or Illusien had enough courage to move at this point.    Suddenly, a familiar voice rang through the room.    "Well, well, well, this is Illusien? What a disgrace. A puny girl, what an opponent. But then again, looks are decieving.“ Illusien let out a laugh.    Xalador stood. He took a few steps. Then stopped.    "Mikish, follow me.” Mikish did so, obviously in fear for his life. Xalador resumed his leisurely walk. Growing closer and closer to Illusien. He finally stopped.    She could see his face. She then knew why he had hidden his identity.    "Hello, sister.“ A cold shimmery wave was sent down her spine.    "Hello, Alex.” The fear inside her was overtaken by her anger. Hot tears streamed down her face. “Tell me why.”
“You, that’s why. Ever since our birth you’ve been better at everything. That’s why when you passed through the arch, and you became the most powerful being on Glacitoria something had to be done. (he h8 u)    "So I created an army and moved into this abandoned caste, rightfully yours, of course. I sent Mikish after you,” Kish looked down in shame. “And sent men and trolls (TROLLS THO WHY TROLLS) after you. And now you are mine to dispose of.” He had a look of pure glee on his face. (the original shitlord)
Luke looked at Illusien. The truth was hard for her to grasp. He had never seen such a look on her face before. Fear had disappeared from her face and anger seared inside of her.    He had been silent for too long. He had been still too long. It was too much to bear.    "So you became a tyrant because your own flesh and blood–who would never do anything to hurt you–is a little better than you?“ (PREACH LUCANTHROS)  (wait i made that joke too early) He walked over to Illusien, "What guts that takes.” Luke grasped Illusien’s arms.    "Who’s the wimp?“ (nice)
(in parenthesis katie wrote: something about illusien remembering childhood here? GENIUS!!! nah tbh) Kish watched them. Illusien was soon to be dead and it would devastate him. He saw Xalador move closer. He could feel Illusien’s pulse quicken. Luke stood up to him, why couldn’t he?    He ran in front of Illusien. He blocked her the best he could.    "Kish, get out of the way,” Luke said.    "No,“ said Mikish.    "What are you doing?”    "Saving your life.“
Illusien was dumbstruck. There she was ready to die, when the reason she was here, decided to save her life.    "Get out of my way Mikish.”    "No.“ (thats so funny to me "do the dishes” “no” “get out my way” “no”) (“get out me car” “no” “get off me train” “i cant”)    "I will kill you too if I must.“    "Then do it.” Xalador grabbed Mikish at the base of his neck. Mikish struggled. The blue bolts of electricity that shot from Xalador’s hands were blinding. Illusien looked away. She heard a loud thump. She opened her eyes. There Kish was lying on the floor, pale, face down.    Dead. (im crying tbh im sorry im weak)    Suddenly he came after Illusien. Luke jumped in front of her. Xalador knocked him across the room.    "Luke!!“
– (this part is so stupid) There was darkness. It seemed to Luke there was no ground. The silence around him sent chills up and down his spine. A red crystal in the distance slowly crept toward him. The beating of a heart gradually getting louder: The crystal and the heart beat growing closer and closer.    Whispers:     LUCANTHROS. lucanthros LUCANTHROS (THATS WHAT LUKE IS SHORT FOR APPARENTLY GUYS. PLEASE BEAT ME UP) (katie wrote: "this is gay. no”)    Realize your strength, your power. Save her, let destiny take it’s path. Let fate decide this battle’s outcome. Do not leave her alone. Take your place as king. (shes right. its pretty homo and not in a good way)
(okay tbh im laughing because kish is way more powerful than all these fuckers. he should be king without illu bye)
Luke stood. Xalador had cornered Illusien. The anger seared from him. (illu you can fly and you have fire powers please do something. do not make this pussy save you) Xalador didn’t look away.    "Xalador, put her down.“    "Who are you to tell me what to do?”    "Lucanthros, and I’m ready to take back what’s mine.“    "Oh, ha, another being of ‘power’,” Xalador snickered. “It’s like having your cake and eating it too.” (plz explain what i meant to me)    Luke sent a bolt of flame at him. (A BOLT OF FLAME???? “zip ur lip like a padlock”) Xalador sent a blue jolt (looking for new words to use obviously. im digging in the trenches trying to create some variety up in this bitch) of electricity at him. This carried on, never touching. Illusien could do nothing she just sat there.( like a fucking pussy ass bitch will you plz get the fuck up and aCTUALLY DO SOMETHING YOURE ONLY THE MOST POWERFUL FUCKING THING ON THIS GODDAMN SHIT PLANET WILL YOU PLEASE FIGHT FOR ONCE) She stood to try and help. (FINALLY DUMB CUNT)    Malaki grabbed her from behind. (im so fucking done with this damsel nonsense. ive had it up to my meatballs.) Let alone watching this horrible fight she was now being held by an ugly moron.    She turned to face him.    "Malaki, put me down.“    "No” (NO PUNCTUATION. JUST NO)    "Okay then.“ She kicked him in the (dick plz say in the dick) knee (dammit) as hard as she could. He dropped to his knees. She punched him hard in the mouth (only really succeeding in nearly breaking her hand and getting her hand cut up by his teeth im sure) then grabbed his knife and stabbed him through the heart. (DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO STAB SOMEONE ILLU. ITS REALLY FUCKING HARD)    She wiped the blood on his shirt and grabbed the knife and pulled it out. Malaki’s breathing turned to gasps for air. Then he became silent.    Illusien turned. She thought back on what she had done. (it literally just happened. you need to) She shook it off. She had to help Luke. (HONEY YOU NEED TO HELP YOURSELF MAMA *demyx voice* RUN RUN AWAY)
Luke was dodging Xalador’s attacks the best he could. His strength was depleting. He sent one last blast at Xalador. He gasped for air. Xalador was closing in on him. Closer and closer yet. (kill him alex)    Xalador stopped. His eyes went blank. He fell limp to the floor. Malaki’s knife stuck out of his back. (thats it? literally that is so weak.YOU HAVE FUCKING FIRE POWERS. YOU GUYS COULD HAVE ROASTED HIS ASS LIKE CHARLIE SHEEN) Illusien wept into her hands. Luke ran over to comfort her.    "Why? I killed them, I killed them both.” (you are the worst character i have ever made) Illusien wept harder, “I spent all this time looking for him, and he just wanted to kill me.” (bitch you were not looking very carefully. you were busy wandering in the woods pointing out woodland creatures and trying to find the D where ever you could get it tbh. smh)    "I’m sorry. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you.“ (BECAUSE YOU FUCKING KNEW THAT SHE WOULDNT BELIEVE YOU. AND IF SHE DID SHE WOULD NEVER HAVE FOLLOWED YOU, SHE WOULD HAVE NEVER FOUGHT HIM. SHE WOULD HAVE HIDDEN.) (ITS A FUCKED UP SITUATION LUKE BIRD)    "It’s alright. (IT IS NOT) I just can’t believe I killed him.” Luke put his arms around her. She opened her eyes. Kish!    She broke away from Luke. Kish, he was dead. (THATS ALSO A FUCKED UP SITUATION) She held him close to her. She let him down and sat there. Luke sat next to her. He took her hand.
— (I JUST ABOUT PISSED MY PANTS THIS PART IS WAY TOO FUNNY WHY) Jesse walked back into the room. He realized what he just missed. (like did he go get some popcorn??) There were three bodies on the floor. Only one of them was suppose to be dead. (…that means they were going to kill Kish anyway…thats really)    He grabbed his knife from his hip. He started on his way to Luke. Luke stood and caught his hand. (dude)    "What now, Jesse?“    "Why aren’t you dead?” (“cause we won duh”)    (this part please help me) “Cause I’m smart like that.” (i)    "Oh really? Well I’ll show you smart.“    "Stop Jesse you don’t know what you’re doing.” (that is the most monotone sentence)    "I know pretty damn (KATIE SCRIBBLED DAMN ALL THE WAY OUT) well what I’m doing. Taking care of the problem in my life!“ (jesse. this literally did not work half a second ago. chil l) Jesse dove at Luke, he dodged. (hes fuckin untouchable.) (SPEAKING OF WHICH I LITERALLY NEVER ELABORATED ON WHY MALAKI WAS COMPLETELY IMMUNE TO FIRE)    "Trust me you have no idea what your doing.”    "I know what I’m doing so just give up!“    "No.” (lmao)    "Fine, I’ll kill you both. And don’t argue with me. Since I’m the only one left, you’ll either (??/?) become my slaves (????? dude chill a sec) or die, your choice.“    "As welcoming as that sounds, no thank you. We don’t do evil.” Illusien said with a smirk. (bitch you gotta go.)    "No body asked you bitch.“ (WOW JESSUP I NEED TO WASH UR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP) Jesse pointed at her. (ok what pointing going to do cause you cant do anything unless bitches asleep) Luke shot him an evil look.    "I’ll give you ten seconds to get out of here. As long as you stay in a hole and leave everyone alone, we won’t have a problem. 1, 2, 3…”    Jesse made a sour face. Then turned to leave (????? man you give up way too easy) but Luke grabbed him from behind. (incEST)    "I actually have a better idea.“
Chapter 10: Secret Emotions
(why did i write this chapter is actually the title) (jessup immediately makes me angry lmao) I can see why Luke loves her. You can see all of her emotions plainly. She’s beautiful and sees the good in people even when there is none. (NAME ONE INSTANCE PLEASE JESSUP) She even hesitated to killl Malaki (no she didnt) and Xalador when they only wanted to see her die slowly and painfully.    Of course she loves HIM. (she actually knows him better than you so yeah that acTUALLY MAKES MORE SENSE THAN HER LOVING YOU DUMB ASS) She would never love me. (cause you’ve been a little shit so far) How I envy Luke. And how did I end up here?! Seriously, the dungeon?    I hate Luke. He has everything I never could have. Including her. (you NEED TO TAKE A CHILL PILL AND RE-EVALUATE)
Illusien looked up at Luke. (she had literally been sucking his dick for like an hour. when was he going to finish) (im sorry) (SHE LOOKS AT HIM ALL THE TIME) She wanted to sleep and never wake up. She had killed two men. (wow) One of which had been her own brother. She looked at her hands. They were blood stained.    She didn’t feel like crying anymore. You know, she never even cared that much about Alex. (ARE YOU SURE?)  But still, even so, it was like killing herself inside. (emo narcoleptic furry) Malaki deserved what he got tho. (preach)    Jesse was in the dungeons. She was sort of glad Luke hadn’t killed him. (why) Sure she had killed Malaki and Xalador, but she had watched them and Kish die and she didn’t want to see anyone else.    "So I created an army and moved into this abandoned castle, rightfully yours of course,” she remembered that. Xalador had said that in his monologue. (BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL IM PISSING)    "So this castle is mine? Oh, I’m sorry ours?“ (im making a stinky face right now this is so unnecessary i did not sign up for this)    "Yes.  You can kick me out whenever you want…..” (plz stop)    She pushed him, “Shut up!” He laughed. (his laughter echoed through the halls. the dead bodies did not laugh.)    "Like I could ever get rid of you.“ She gave a playful smile.    "Oh and your highness, what do we do with the bodies?” (totally a question you ask in a playful, flirtatious manner.)    "Give them a proper burial, at least Kish anyway,“ she paused. "And don’t call me that!” (this is all katie get ready lmao) (this was written in the dark by the light of my alarm clock after my parents told us to go the fuck to sleep)    "Did you love him?“ (BUT DID YOU DIE?)    "I thought I did, but i could never love somebody who decieved me and lied straight to my face.”1    "He loved you, Illusien. Very much.  I could see it written all over his face everytime he looked at you.“    "I know I saw that too.”    "To be honest with you, I was worried. When I first rescued you, I could see the fear in your eyes when I told you Kish was an imposter. You didn’t want to believe me. (well duh) I saw the look in your eyes when I said his name. The same look as when you look at me now.“ (how quaint) (recycled love)    "It was hard for me but….”    "Let me finish please? (IMMA LET YOU FINISH BUT. KISH WAS THE BEST LOVER BOY OF ALL TIME. JS) The moment I saw you, I knew I loved you. (ew?) At first, I thought you wouldn’t love me back because of Kish. You thought you owed him something when in reality he owed you his life. (OH SO HE DESERVED TO DIE. THATS WHAT YOU JUST SAID. THIS IS SUCH A DICK CONVO) The day when you had flying lessons with me and you fell, he saw your face when I kissed you. Sorry, but your facial expressions give everything away. (get ready for a katie-ism) Your face is a whiteboard of emotions. (the fuck that mean) He realized what was happening and he resorted to anger.“    "I felt guilty because I kissed you in front of his eyes. He was so angry, it scared me.”    "It scared me too. I think the kiss is what drove him to tell Xalador where we were. I could see that he later regretted his decision. He hated me but couldn’t do anything about it. If he killed me, you would be in jeporady. (lmao) If he took you away from me, you would be taken to Lord Xalador. He was torn between you and Xalador. The only reason he served Xalador was so he could live. He only wanted to live, to see you. Kish was a complex person. (???) It was too bad that he misleaded you. But now I’m here to love and protect you (from nothing now lmao) and nothing can stop that.“ He looked at her. Her face was distorted with tears. (NOT A GOOD WORD TO USE WOW) She looked up at Luke.    "That was so sweet, Luke.” (NO IT WASNT)
Luke saw the tears in Illusien’s green eyes. He didn’t aim for this. Now was supposed to be a happy time for the both of them. (uh no its not.)    But now, he made Illusien cry. Come on stupid, think! he thought.    "I’m sorry Illusien. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I–I….“ she stopped him.    "Don’t be Luke.” He stopped talking. She seemed to bend reality with her beauty. (NOT A GOOD TIME FOR THIS) They stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed forever. (quit)    "May I Illusien?“ (may you what)    "Yes Luke”    And they kissed. (ew) Luke looked at Illusien’s face. All her emotions showed on her face. She was relaxed now. He held on to the back of her head. (THAT SOUNDS REALLY VIOLENT LIKE HES GRIPPING HER BY HER HAIR) She broke off as if she had remembered something.    "What about your brother, Jesse? (“I’m gonna make torture porn with him and sell it online”) Where is he going to go now?“ She looked worried. He wondered why.    "For all I care he can rot in the dungeon.”    "Well we have to go down to him.“    "Why?”    "Just because he is evil, doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve any mercy. He is your brother after all.“    "That’s one thing I hate but, love about you, you can see the good in everyone, even my brother.”
Jesse was listening. He could hear every word they were saying.    "Well I choose to see good things and not bad,“ she said with a flip of her hair. Luke gave her a sly smile.    "Let’s at least check on him.”    "Fine.“ Jesse sat as if he knew nothing. (how do you do that) The door opened. Footsteps sounded.    "Okay, we’ve checked on him. Let’s go.”    "No, please, Luke, you promised.“    "Fine.”    They walked to him.    "How you doing Jesse?“    "Horrible.”    "So sorry,“ said Luke. "Let’s go please.”    "Stop nagging.“    "Jesse I’m very sorry your down here. But, it’s your ch–” Illusien grabbed Luke without turning around to pull him back. “–ildish actions that caused this.”    "Jesse, I really don’t want to talk to you at this moment,“ Luke let the words escape from his mouth.    "Too bad,” Jesse looked at Illusien, “I’m sorry, it’s just that I really think I can be good now (lmao me tbh) let me out?”    Illusien scooted closer to Luke. “Not on your life, sport.”
Luke put a protective arm around Illusien. She smiled up at him.    Oh come on, Jesse thought, do they have to do all this in front me? Are they just torturing me before they kill me? (me too jesse. me too)    "All right Luke, I’m going to look around the castle. You STAY HERE and TALK to your brother.“ Luke opened his mouth to say something.    "Please, Luke?” Illusien motioned to Luke to talk while she was gone. Without another word, she walked out of the room.    Jesse watched her go. (dat ass ma) So beautiful, he thought. Jesse was rammed against the wall. (howd luke get inside the cell) He looked at who rammed him. (cause it could be anyone else only bird man is there) Luke was holding him against the wall.    "Don’t get your hopes up, Jesse. Your heart will get broken faster than you can say 'I’m sorrry.’ (yes with 3 rs) Besides, Illusien is mine. I love her and she loves me. It’s odd. When we were growing up all the other girls liked you. (all the other girls had eyes, luke) But the one girl that actually matters likes me and NOT you.“ He paused a moment. "I wonder why.”    "I don’t care what you say,“ Jesse spat. "I can have anything and anyone I want. (katie really grossly mischaracterizes him) If they don’t cooperate, I’ll MAKE them. I’m far more powerful than Xalador ever was, and you know it.” (thats not true by a long shot sport)    "I know for a fact that if you had half of the brains he had, you would know that you can’t MAKE someone love you.“    "I can if I want to.”    "Well obviously you must NOT have the brains. Perhaps I judged you too fairly.“ (you simple)    "You know that this isn’t a game Luke. You can cheat. And I promise you if you play fair you’ll come in last.” Luke turned to go.    "And Luke, you might want to watch Illusien’s back. Just a fair warning.“ Luke started back toward Jesse but stopped himself. Luke shook his head and walked upstairs.
Illusien was worried. She had been heading downstairs when she had heard what Jesse said to Luke.    She quickly ran up the stairs. Luke came up soon afterwards.    "What’s the matter with you?”    "Nothing, its nothing!“    "It’s something. I know something’s wrong.”    "I’m just worried thats all. I’m going up to my room. I’m beat.“    "Your room?”    "Yeah it jas my name on it.“ She walked up stairs and turned the key in the lock. She took out the key and walked into the room.    It was beautiful, light blue walls were decked with tapestries. She saw the bed. She crawled in. She didn’t care what it felt like. She was bushed.
Luke turned down the corridor. He saw Illusien’s room. He reached to turn the door knob, but then changed his mind. He walked to the next corridor. Another room sat. He opened the door. He saw Illusien sleeping. (????????????????????????????????)    He closed the door lightly and went down the next corridor and finally found an empty room.    Once he got in, he sat on the bed and lit the candle besides the bed. He buried his head in his hands. What was he going to do about Jesse? What if he carried out his threat?    Illusien must have heard him. She sounded worried. Then again she had a pretty hard day.    He blew out the candle and went to sleep.
Illusien sat at Kish’s grave. She was silent. Luke came and sat next to her and put his arm around her.    "Thank you , Kish. You brought her to me, and now she’s safe. You finally got it right.”
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elliotthezubat · 8 years ago
Text
DEATH CITY DAYS CHAPTER 43
from FIGHT FESTIVAL to the 8th getting a new recruit
Benimaru: *stands his ground, ready to knock the Demon away* shinra:.... (arrow: your flames...are only meant to kill) tamaki: *standing her ground* Arthur: *wields Excalibur...* Demon: *rushes at Benimaru* Benimaru: *doesn't move* tamaki: he's not doing anything?! Tsukiyo: "Wait for it..." Demon: *pulls back a fiery fist* tamaki: ?? !!! LOOK OU- Benimaru: *holds up two fingers, blocking the fireball...and sending it upward into the sky, where it explodes* tamaki: WOAH!....it's....STILL THERE?! shinra: ?! Demon: *lifts arms, summoning a larger fireball...* shinra: !!! Benimaru: *summons another matou--and flies it at the Demon, lifting both of them into the air, the heat of the Demon's fire ball burning away at Benimaru's jacket* arrow: got you. *shoots and arrow* shinra: !!!!!!!! *rushes up after and tries to kick the arrow away, taking most of the impact* GRK- arrow: ?! shinra: hey newsflash. my flames arent for destruction...they're to help people! Demon: "GRK...GRK..." Benimaru: *having dissipated most of the fireball, still sending the Demon higher into the air...* "???" Demon: "PIG...GY..." Benimaru: "...Wow. Those are incredibly dull last words..." Demon: "???" Benimaru: *prepares his final move...and...* "Goodbye." *BOOM* shinra: woah! *The shockwave sends a flame across the sky...its force felt along the ground* Akitaru: *standing, but stumbles back a bit* maki: what was that?! tamaki: WOAH! Arthur: "AAAAAH!" *knocked back* tamaki:... !!! Tsukiyo: ._. "...Benimaru...just turned...the Moon..." *points up* Benimaru: *watches as the Demon is evaporated in flames* Benimaru: "..." fang-hua: t-that’s…! kirei:...ah! Takehisa: "A red...Moon." fang-hua: akatsuki... Tsukiyo: *gulp* "Y-Yeah...That's one way to put it..." Benimaru: "..." *still floating on his matou* "...I have avenged you, Konro...And...I have no idea how to get down to the ground..." shinra: need a lift? Benimaru: "...Can you carry me down?" shinra: ah, right. Benimaru: *lets himself be carried bridal style down to the ground* shinra: *lands* 7.7; Konro: *struggling to stand, having exhausted himself calling aloud mentally* Tsukiyo: Q~Q "Commander..." ("And men-holding-men...") -and so- reimi:...... Mr. Tsubaki: *in fox form...approaches Reimi...* reimi:.....*mumbling* Mr. Tsubaki: "???" *approaches to hear her..." reimi: s...sister....yana...se.... -her breathing is shallow- Mr. Tsubaki: "..." ("What do I do...?") Mr. Tsubaki: "..." *clears his throat, in fox form* "Sister...?" reimi: *weakly opens her eyes* ....im happy....she's alive....even if...i wont be..... Mr. Tsubaki: "It doesn't have to be like that..." reimi:...?? Mr. Tsubaki: "I could help you live..." reimi: r..really?....i know...i gave my life for her....but im still afraid.... Mr. Tsubaki: "...Reimi...I am...not a normal fox. I guess the talking clarified that...I am a vampire." reimi: ?? Mr. Tsubaki: *changes into his human form, looks at her, holds her hand* "I have the ability to save your life..." reimi: !!!....p...please....*shaking* Mr. Tsubaki: *lowers himself towards her neck* "This will make you a vampire. You understand, yes?" reimi:.....*she nods* (thinking: is this a dream...?) Mr. Tsubaki: "And you will have to feed on my blood...So be ready..." reimi: *closing her eyes* Mr. Tsubaki: "..." *small cut on the index finger and rests it along her mouth* reimi:......*drinking the blood* Mr. Tsubaki: *waits a bit...* "Okay...That should be enough...You'll start to feel the changes..." reimi: *passes out* hinata: ?? hikage: ?! Mr. Tsubaki: "!!!" ("...Maybe I can say I'm a physician...") hinata: is reimi-nee ok?? Mr. Tsubaki: *nods* "I administered first aid, but she will need a hospital." hikage: <8c Mr. Tsubaki: "I am a traveling emergency medical technician. Where is the nearest hospital?" hikage: you're in asakusa's clinic! -elsewhere- maki: so what now? Konro: "The Commander wishes to speak with all members of your brigade." shinra:....*he nods* nozomi: r-right! Benimaru: *seated inside the HQ, in a new kimono* Akitaru: "...Yo." *waves* Benimaru: "...This is not easy for me to say...Thank you. Especially you, Commander Obi, and Shinra Kusakabe." shinra: ....*awkward smile* tamaki: so then...does this mean everything's all good between the 8th and the 7th? Benimaru: "Not yet..." Akitaru: "..." Arthur: ("Oh crap...He's going to cut someone's head off...") Benimaru: "Konro...Bring them out." Akitaru: " 'Them'?" maki: OwO;;; nozomi: ????? Arthur: *hides behind Tamaki* Konro: *enters with two saki bowls and a bottle of sake* Akitaru: "...Huh." Benimaru: *opens the bottle, pours two bowls for him and Akitaru* "It was your assistance that helped Asakusa survive. And which saved the lives of many people...those I care so much for." *he was looking at Konro and Kirei* shinra:....*smile* maki: *tugs his ear* you're too young mister! >n< shinra: ow! Benimaru: *he turns to Akitaru* "...What? You don't like sake?" Akitaru: "!!! N-No! I love it!" *picks up his cup* "Um...So, this is affirming our alliance?" Benimaru: "If the 8th needs the assistance of the 7th, we will be there." maki: great! shinra: awesome! *Akitaru and Benimaru sip the sake* nozomi: *smile* Akitaru: "Mmm~ Really good!" kirei:... ^^ Benimaru: "Yes. We look forward to beginning this partnership..." *Benimaru has his eyes closed...and is grinning peacefully* kirei: ah... tamaki: he seems pretty happy. fang-hua: ^^; oh dear. nozomi: hmm? what is it? Konro: *laugh* "When the Commander has a little too much to drink--" Tsukiyo: QWQ "Like even just a thimble, he loses control of his facial muscles...and has that adorable smile." fang-hua: ^^; Benimaru: *still smiling calmly* "...What?" tamaki: aww, just like shinra. Akitaru: "..." *snort laugh* shinra: *chuckles* Takehisa: *flatly* "Very amusing." maki: commander! be nice! >3< kirei:....*soft chuckle* Benimaru: *still smiling calmly, even as he sounds pissed* "It's not funny. Stop finding enjoyment in my face, you buffoons!" Tsukiyo: "But it's such a cute face, sir!" fang-hua: *chop* down girl. please dont mind them, commander. -_-; Benimaru: *smiling serenely as he says...* "Ignoring your jackassery..." *reaches out a hand to Benimaru* "The 7th kept a close eye on you before. Now as our allies...we'll be keeping an even closer look." *there is a tinge of a threat in that line* Akitaru: *forced smile, as he shakes Benimaru's hand* "Wouldn't have it any other way..." maki: ^^; Tsukiyo: *rubbing her head, pouting at Fang-Hua, before turning to the 8th* "Closer look alright..." soldier: COMMANDER SHINMON! USADA TOLD ME YOU AND KIREI- Tsukiyo: "???" Benimaru: *serene smile...but murderous edge to voice* "Told you what?" soldier:... OwO n-nothing sir. Tsukiyo: *hides behind soldier* shinra: ??? *confused* kirei: .////. Benimaru: *still smiling, looks at Kirei...sounds calmer* "And now, we as a community can move forward." Konro: "Well, let's celebrate! Takehisa, care for a drink?" Takehisa: "Thank you, but I am on duty." -elsewhere- chikami: thank you so much for visiting. iris: it's no problem, mrs kurai. ^^ Relan: "How is your daughter?" chikami:....she's recovering. she's asleep right now. iris: i see.... Relan: *nods* "We...brought some treats for her when she wakes up...and wanted to...um, ask..." chikami: hmm? what is it? Relan: "Has she mentioned odd dreams?" chikami: not that i know of... Relan: "Well, I hope she feels better soon." *smiles* "We brought a notebook for her, in case she needed to write or draw while she's resting..." chikami: why thank you. i'll give this too her as soon as she wakes up. Relan: *smiles, nods* "If you need anything, Iris and I can help..." chikami: *she nods* im certain she appreciates having friends like you.....i do worry about her. ever since ak-....*shakes her head* nevermind...its nothing important. Relan: "..." *nods* ("Wonder what 'since' was...") iris:...well, we should probably head home now. Relan: *bows to Chikami* -the next day- Mr. Tsubaki: *in fox form, in the infirmary, keeping an eye on Reimi* reimi: *asleep* Mr. Tsubaki: ("Another subclass...that I am responsible for...Tsubaki, my blossom, please keep me in your thoughts, as I take on this responsibility...") -elsewhere- Hibana: "This is idiotic!" iris: ?? nayumi: whats biting her butt? Hibana: "Sending someone from Haijima to the 8th, for chemistry?! This has bad news written all over it!" serina: didnt you use to work for haijima? Rino: "Yeah. You had some bad dealings there, right?" *smirk* Hibana: *glares at Rino* "Yes, I worked there...and I know every single person there, including this guy they are trying to stick onto the 8th!" gabriella: really? iris: well, the commander said they'd be coming home today. miwa: misora said she'd be back later tonight too. Hibana: "And that slow gorilla can't hurry his ass up?!" Rino: "...Maybe you need to calm down..." gabriella: *rubs her shoulders* Hibana: =w= *calms down* "I think I'll sit to a cup of tea...Rino, go make us tea." Rino: -_-;; -later that afternoon- shinra: we're home! iris: welcome back everyone. ^^ maki: well, good news, we got the 7th as allies now! Rino: "Yo, congrats." Akitaru: "Where is the Princess?" iris: in the den area. Hibana: *from the den* "DARN IT TO HECK AND BACK, THIS NONSENSE IS SO FREAKING STUPID--" Akitaru: "...Super. I'll go talk to her..." miwa:.....proceed with caution. Rino: *nods* "Take this." *holds up an axe* Akitaru: "...Is that from my office?" Rino: "...Yes." iris: rino! Akitaru: "..." *takes the axe* iris: COMMANDER! Rino: "What? I needed a quiet space away from this." Akitaru: "What? I need protection." Takehisa: "...Phrasing." shinra: *sigh* ok, i'll play the martyr....heeeeeey princess hibana.... ^^;;;;; Hibana: *fire breath* shinra: OwO;;;;;;; Hibana: "YOU STUPID GORILLA TOOK LONG ENOUGH TO GET BACK HERE BEFORE THAT IDIOTIC FUZZY-HEADED DICKWAD IS ADDED TO YOUR BRIGADE!'" *lifts Akitaru by he the collar* "Do you have any idea what kind of nonsense you're about to deal with?! Having an interloper in your midst to screw up your brigade from the inside?! Who knows what he'll do to your team!" Akitaru: "...Like re-decorate my entire building, have sex on my bed--" Hibana: "YOU ARE STILL GOING ON ABOUT THAT?!" Victor: "..." nozomi: ??? eh? Victor: "Yo." tamaki: hmm? who's that guy? shinra:... !! (thinking: that guy...he was at the trainee tournament...) Victor: "I'm Victor. I'm the new guy." *waves* "Hello, Princess." Hibana: *fire eyes* Akitaru: "...Huh. Um, welcome, Victor. I'm Commander Obi. And...you were assigned by the Emperor to join us?" Victor: "Yeah. Boss man said your chemistry department sucks." maki: well...we have a nozomi! Victor: "...Yes, indeed you do." nozomi: um...n-nice too meet you...s-sir... Victor: *reaches out, takes Nozomi's hand, shakes it vigorously* "Heya." nozomi: um...h-h-hello... .///.; tamaki:...*glint* Victor: ("Got her.") Arthur: "???" shinra: ..... Akitaru: "Well, then...Shinra! Show Victor to one of the guest rooms until we get him moved in..." Victor: "Or you can take me to my lab now. I'd like to get to work immediately." iris: well, we did get a room set up for you. Victor: "...I suppose I can do some work in there." *looks to Nozomi* "Care to show me the way?" nozomi: oh um... iris: they did just get back...i'll show you guys the way to the room. nozomi: .///.; Victor: "Awesome, Sister. Thanks." *follows Iris, looks back at Nozomi briefly* nozomi:... ?? Victor: *keeps walking* "So, Sister, how is life around here at the 8th?" iris: it's nice. its not a very big brigade, but we get by. Victor: "I hope my expertise helps. I can start looking at any evidence you got so we can find whoever is making these Flame Humans." Victor: *sets down his suitcase on his bed* nozomi: mm.... well, i'm currently the only member of the research department so...i'll do my best to help you, sir. Victor: "Great. I look forward to working with you, then." *smiles* "What I could use right now are some of your case reports. Can you get me those?" nozomi: ah! right! *she goes to get those* Victor: *smiles at Iris* "She seems hardworking." iris: she certainly is. Victor: "That should be helpful..." *looks at Iris* "Thanks for making my room up...Um, is there a meal to have around here?" iris: yes. commander hinawa is a really good cook. ^^ -elsewhere- Sakuya: *shudders* lilac:...s-scary... tsubaki:....*watching the news report of the asakusa incident* Reporter: "While the 7th Brigade is tight-lipped, we have heard reports of numerous flame humans emerging in the town--" Black Star: "Damn it..." naho: *shaking* Sakuya: *holds her hand, stays close to Lilac* Reporter: "--as well as some vague rumors. Sir, we wanted to know, what you saw--" tsubaki: *still watching* Resident #1: "People wearing other people's faces!" Reporter: "...What?" fang-hua: well, it's difficult to explain, but we'll try the best we can. -elsewhere- Yumi: "We've tried reaching to the 7th, but our calls are largely diverted to the 8th..." lord death: hmmm... Yumi: "Flame humans, impersonators...If the 7th has means against these potential threats, we should convince them to share the knowledge. And that's not even considering their potential partnership with certain villainous individuals with quirks." lord death: perhaps we could send someone from the hoshino shrine? Yumi: "Good idea. I'll contact them." Yumi: *calls the Hoshino Shrine...* -elsewhere- Kuro: "Really bad news." mahiru: ?? tetsu: whats up? Kuro: *holds up newspaper* "Look at the fires in Asakusa." tetsu: .... misono: that's pretty bad... Kuro: *watching the video* "Huh...Thought I saw something..." misono: ?? Kuro: "Like a small wolf or something. See, that injured woman?" mahiru: *squints* -they're interviewing someone at the clinic- *A nurse is tending to Reimi* mahiru: *examining the screen* *A small fox is sitting in Reimi's lap* mahiru: !!!! t-thats...! Kuro: o_o "...Shit." misono: !!! lily, could you call tsubaki? Lily: "On it~" *auto-dial on phone* "Hello?" tsubaki: yes? may i ask who's calling? Lily: "It's me, silly, Lily! What, you don't have me programmed into your phone? How mean." tsubaki: ah, sorry. i'll do that in a bit, so what's up? Lily: "We found someone~" tsubaki: oh? Lily: "...Him." tsubaki:....!!!.... Lily: "Asakusa, the village that was just attacked." tsubaki: !!!!...... Lily: "He's in fox form, sitting on a lovely young lady's lap~" tsubaki:.... ^^; s-should i intervene? misono: LILY! D8< Lily: "It's up to you, Negotiator~ We have full confidence in you." tsubaki:...right. i'll head over right away. Lily: "It is a disaster area there, though. It may help if you know someone in the 7th Brigade." tsubaki: i'll keep that in mind. -and so, after she explained the situation to black*star- Black Star: "...You think you can talk to him? After what he did?" tsubaki: the least i can do is try, right? Black Star: ("But what if she...") *shakes the thought away* "R-Right...So, given all that security around there, need some muscle?" tsubaki: *she shakes her head* i think i have a plan. Black Star: "Want to clue me in? I'll help however I can." tsubaki:...*hug* i appreciate the thought...but this is something i have to face myself. *kiss on the forehead* Black Star: -\\\- *nods, hugs back* "Come back safe." -and so, after she arrived in asakusa- tsubaki:...it's certainly busier here now... Tsukiyo: "Hold it right there! State your name and business being here!" tsubaki: tsubaki nakatsukasa...there's someone i need to speak with... Tsukiyo: "Oh? And who is that?" tsubaki:....he's at the clinic. Tsukiyo: "Oh, an injured? Are you a relative? Wife?" tsubaki: um.... 7///7; i-its complicated. Tsukiyo: "..." *light bulb* .w. "Ooooooooh..." *clears throat* "I'm afraid I will need more information to complete the paperwork before letting you in. Why don't you start at the beginning--and give me all the juicy details~" fang-hua: *chop* you can go on ahead, miss nakatsukasa. tsubaki:...thanks. ^^; Tsukiyo: TT~TT "Right this way, ma'am..." -at the clinic- tsubaki:....*enters reimi's room*....hello. reimi: *asleep* Mr. Tsubaki: *asleep on Reimi's lap...then opens one eye...* O_- *small gasp* tsubaki:...it's been a while, hasnt it? Mr. Tsubaki: "..." *nods silently, looks downcast* tsubaki:...did you...want to talk at all? a lot's happened since we last saw each other... Mr. Tsubaki: "...Okay." *carefully moves from Reimi towards Tsubaki, whispers* "She knows, but as she is sleeping, we will have to be quiet." tsubaki:..right. -she tells him about all that has happened- Mr. Tsubaki: "Sham...is back with my...with his family?" *looks relieved* tsubaki: yes.....and himawari as well.... Mr. Tsubaki: "...You continue to impress, Tsubaki Nakatsukasa." tsubaki: *small smile* Mr. Tsubaki: "...Would you like to hear my story?" tsubaki: *she nods* Mr. Tsubaki: "The short version is that I returned to a former subclass's home, then a shrine...then came here...and now...this woman was going to die..." tsubaki: ah.... Mr. Tsubaki: "...So now, I have a new subclass here...a new family." tsubaki: hmm....what will you do now? Mr. Tsubaki: "...I feel obligated to watch over Reimi. Becoming a vampire is a challenging process. But...I want to get home to the rest of my family." tsubaki:...and your mission that you had? Mr. Tsubaki: *shudders* "Tsubaki...I don't know. My teacher wanted this world wiped away...but I see the people in this world, too..." *thinks of Hikage and Hinata...* "..." tsubaki: .....if you need a place to stay..i'll still leave the door open. Mr. Tsubaki: "...When the time is right...Will it ever be?" tsubaki:..... Mr. Tsubaki: "...I miss my family...I miss you." tsubaki: hmmm.....we miss you too... Mr. Tsubaki: "...Please let them know I am safe. And I love them." *nuzzles against her hand* tsubaki:...i will. Mr. Tsubaki: *swallows* "And I...l-l-love..." tsubaki: ??........ Mr. Tsubaki: "...You." tsubaki: ...*small blush* i.... Mr. Tsubaki: *bows his head, leaving her hand on his head* tsubaki: im....conflicted. Mr. Tsubaki: "...'Conflicted'? Tsubaki...I'm sorry." tsubaki: you...black*star.......i think to put it bluntly....i love you both. Mr. Tsubaki: *looks up with a start* "...You do? I...love you, too." tsubaki: i know....i do love black*star, and i always will....but i think i can find room in my heart for you. Mr. Tsubaki: "..." *moves from the bed, to the floor...and resumes his human form...he is on one knee, and he holds her hand* tsubaki: ah- Mr. Tsubaki: *kisses her hand lightly* tsubaki: .////. Mr. Tsubaki: "Tsubaki Nakatsukasa, with all my heart, I will always love you." tsubaki: ..... -later that night, she told the others everything- naho: TT~TT my feels.... Shamrock: X~Q lavender: oho, going for the harem route then? Black Star: "..." *frowning* tsubaki:....do you hate me? Black Star: "...I..." *shakes his head* "Can we talk, in private?" tsubaki:...... -in her room- Black Star: "...I don't...I feel angry..." tsubaki: ....... Black Star: "I'm not angry with you...but this situation...I did not...I did not think this...person would come into our lives...He hurt people." tsubaki:...i know....he's done things that i still have a hard time forgiving... Black Star: "...I'm sorry for saying that I can't see how even you could hold love for him...How can you love him?" tsubaki:...to be honest...i'm just as confused as you are... i think part of me wants to reach out and show him he isnt alone.... i must sound pretty dumb right now, huh? Black Star: "..." *shakes his head* "...I knew you loved him, a long time ago...when I saw you reach out to help him..." tsubaki:......even then....i still love you too...i love you both. Black Star: "..." *wipes his eyes* "I don't want to lose you...and that's selfish...but I love you. And I don't want to be some creepy stalker who forces you to stay..." -she only replies by hugging him- Black Star: *cries, holding her* tsubaki: i'm not going to leave you...i promise. Black Star: *sniffs, nods* "I'm not going anywhere, either. I love you." -elsewhere- Mr. Tsubaki: *in fox form, smiling, in Reimi's lap again* -elsewhere- Benimaru: "A lot of rebuilding to do..." kirei: *she nods* Benimaru: "..." *takes her hand* kirei: *small blush* Benimaru: "Kirei..." *brings her hand to his lips* kirei: ah... o/////o Benimaru: "Kirei...I love you." kirei: b-beni... Benimaru: "This is me speaking. No one else." kirei: *blushing* Benimaru: "You don't have to say anything...I leave it to you to take the lead..." kirei:....*she smiles and hugs him* i...l-lo...lo.... >/////< Benimaru: "..." *holds her, smiles...a sincere one* "I love you, too." soldiers: WOOOOOOAH! fang-hua: congrats. ^^ kirei: !! O//////O Tsukiyo: Q~Q *cries, clutches Fang-hua, sobs into her shoulder* Benimaru: "...How long were you all there?" Konro: "Long enough, it seems." kabuki: aww. hinata + hikage: oooooh~ hehehehe~ ^^ fang-hua: ^^; *pats tsukiyo's back* at least you still have kabuki Konro: "D'aw, you're blushing, Young Master." Benimaru: -\\\\- kirei: ^^ Benimaru: *holds Kirei's hand, small squeeze* kirei: *smiles* Mr. Tsubaki: *enters, leading a recovering Reimi* reimi: hello sister. kirei: ah! reimi! reimi: im feeling a lot better now....what did i miss? fang-hua: well.....a lot. Tsukiyo: *crying* "Commander has found love with Sister Kirei..." Mr. Tsubaki: ^^ ("She's not the only one...") reimi: ah...WAIT WHA?! O-O fang-hua: yeah... ^^; well, im happy for you guys. kirei: hehe, thanks kohana. fang-hua: !!! NOT YOU TOO! Benimaru: *smiles* "It's catchy." Mr. Tsubaki: *looks up at Reimi* ("Something wrong?") fang-hua: -_-; -elsewhere- Meme: "How's your family doing with shrine stuff, Ao?" Anya: -__-; ao: they're doing well. Meme: "Helping out with the Asakusa recovery efforts?" -elsewhere- nozomi: *reviewing files* Victor: "How's it coming along?" nozomi: still looking things over......*staring at one file; Toshiaki Harada*.....*trembling* Victor: *picks up on her reaction* "...Someone you lost?" nozomi:.... my father.... Victor: "Oh...I'm sorry." nozomi:.....the commander.....put him out of his misery......he was...the only family i had... Victor: "...I can't imagine what you must be feeling." nozomi: oh..it...it happened a long time ago.....i didnt even know he had become....*her breath is caught in her throat* ....i...didnt want to believe it... Victor: *holds her hand* "Hey. Let out that breath...Breathe in...and out...You're doing good work here. You're trying to find who is responsible, so you can make sure this never happens again. You're doing what needs to be done...You're helping." ("..." *smirking internally*) nozomi: ah...right....just crying about it isnt helping anyone. s-sorry... .///.; Victor: *pats her hand, pulls back* "Let's take a break to refocus. You like coffee?" nozomi: i-i dont drink it often. i usually have tea... Victor: "Tea's good, too. Come on, let's go have a cup--it'll be good for both of us." *smiles* -elsewhere- Mr. Tsubaki: "I know you have an undergone a tremendous change...How are you handling this experience?" reimi: i've been feeling rather tired.... Mr. Tsubaki: "Because you need blood...?" reimi: i guess im still in shock... Mr. Tsubaki: "..." *nods* "It was that way for almost all of my subclasses...and for me." reimi: hmmm...... Mr. Tsubaki: "...Please know: you are still the same person you were before. Your memories, your hopes, your qualities..." reimi:..r-right. Mr. Tsubaki: "Sister...Tell me a bit more about yourself. What do you like to do with your day?" reimi: well, i've been told i have a talent for humming folk songs. OwO Mr. Tsubaki: *smiles* "Really? I enjoy folk music...Could you hum one?" reimi: *humming kagome-kagome* Mr. Tsubaki: -w- "Quite good..." *curls his tail up around himself...* -elsewhere- Kid: "Good news from True Cross?" stocking: well, i passed the preliminary exams. Kid: "That's great!" *hug* stocking: well, it helps that miss kirigakure was the teacher. kirika: for what? stocking: NOT YOU! Kid: "??? Wait, haven't I met her before--Shura Kirigakure?" stocking: yeah, she was on the camping trip with us. Kid: "Ah. She seems passionate about teaching, so that was good of her to be there for you." stocking: yeah. *she smiles* Kid: "When is your next exam?" stocking: next week. Kid: "Anything I can do to help prepare?" stocking: i'll have to do more studying. Kid: "I'll do what I can to keep your studying environment peaceful." *smiles* -elsewhere- Black Star: *knocks on Lavender's door* "Lavender? You got a few minutes? I...need some help." lavender: what's up, kiddo? Black Star: "...Can you tell me a bit about Mr. Tsubaki...and open relationships?" lavender: oh~? what did you want to know? Black Star: "Look, I trust Tsubaki...it's him I got problems with. And I worry, like, is he going to hurt her? How does our relationship work? Do he and I, what, 'share' Tsubaki?" lavender: ah. well, ever heard of a threesome, kid? it's easier than you'd think. Black Star: -\\\\- "Yeah...I've kinda looked into that...But how can I trust Mr. Tsubaki?" lavender: *smile* he may be crazy....and i mean really crazy...but he really cares about her, based on what i can tell.....once you get to see past that crazy psychopathy, he's not that bad a guy. Black Star: "...Not the best recommendation I've heard...If he really cares about Tsubaki this much, I guess I have to trust her...Regarding...'intimacy'...do you have any, like, books or something?" lavender: books, dvds, or you can watch me and higan, haha! Black Star: -___-;;; "Thanks for the offer, but I'll stick with the books right now." lavender: alright then. Black Star: *opens one book--* o\\\\\o "...I can't imagine Mr. Tsubaki doing _that_ to me..." lavender: need anything else, kiddo? Black Star: "...I'm scared...that I won't have Tsubaki in my life." lavender: hey, she's not goin' anywhere, ok? tsubaki:...*she hugs him* Black Star: "!!!" *looks at Tsubaki* "S-Sorry for...doubting you. I'm just...This is all new..." tsubaki: it's...still a lot for me to take in too... Black Star: "..." *holds her hand* "One day at a time?" tsubaki:..*she smiles* yeah. lavender: *smiles* Black Star: "..." *hug* -outside- naho: how heartwarming~ ^^ Shamrock: X_TT otogiri: .... lilac: a-are you...ok..mr shamrock? Shamrock: "...He hasn't returned to us...but somehow he finds love...and I feel alone." lilac:...... otogiri:...that's unfortunate. Belkia: "...Maybe try online dating?" Shamrock: X_T;; otogiri: it's a possibility. Shamrock: "Knowing my luck, I would end up with that stalker Belkia had--" Belkia: "NOT FUNNY, SHAM!" D: naho: too soon! Shamrock: *shamed* Belkia: "Hmph. Let's just have an adults' night out--Clubs! Bars! Random acts of violence!" otogiri: -_-; Sakuya: *chop* "No violence. Tsubaki said so." Shamrock: "...Maybe going out for a night would be fun." otogiri: perhaps. lavender: say, maybe we could go out and enjoy a night out. i know just the area to do so as well~ Belkia: "Where’s that?" -and so- lavender: there it is. Red light district~ Shamrock: x_o Higan: "...Huh. Didn't realize Death City had one." lavender: gotta know where to look~ besides, this city is massive. Belkia: "Well, let's get started! This is gonna be fun!" otogiri: *sigh* this wont end well. Woman: *looks at Lavender* "Hey, there." lavender: hey~ *waves* Woman: "You and your friends looking for a fun time?" manager: oi! you there! *grabs belkia* we need a performer, since our show tonight called out sick. lavender: trying to set our friend up here with someone. *points to shamrock* guys, girls, either will do. Belkia: "??? Oh! What will I be doing? Rabbit out of the hat? Cut a woman in two? Escape from a cage?" Shamrock: x_-;;; Woman: "I can help with that..." *smiles at Lavender* "Nothing for you, though, doll?" manager: just follow me. lavender:....you up for a threeway? Belkia: *follows* Woman: *smiles, puts an arm around Lavender's shoulder* "Depends who the third is~" lavender: *looks at higan* 7w7 Higan: *waves* Woman: "Oh, aged to perfection~" *stands before Higan and Lavender, hand on each of their shoulders* "Let's get your friend [Shamrock] hooked up, then we'll find a place..." Shamrock: *follows the Woman* otogiri:....*facepalm* otogiri: fancy... Woman: "I have some friends who would enjoy your friend..." lavender: dang. nice place. Shamrock: x_-;;;; lavender: good luck sham~ Woman: "We try." *holds out her hand to Lavender* "I'm Lilith." lavender: just call me lavender. or lav~ Shamrock: *looks around* "Y-Yeah, thanks." Higan: "Higan." *kisses Lilith's hand* Lilith: "Oh, a gentleman...What will you two have to drink?" Shamrock: *stands around, awkwardly* otogiri: 7_7;;;;; ?? oh, belkia didnt follow us? Shamrock: "??? Huh...Must be having fun elsewhere." woman 2: oh, that guy who dresses like the manager? i think he's down at prince pegasus. Shamrock: "Ah..." *looks at Woman #2* "Thank you. So...How is your evening going?" woman 2: alright. want something to drink? Shamrock: "Sure...How about a rum and coke?" woman 2: sounds good. -meanwhile- guy: O_O;; uhhh... guy 2: who's this guy? guy 3: not sure, but he's kinda cute~ Belkia: ^\\\^ "D'aw, thanks! I'm Belkia--and I...am a master magician!" guy 3: oooh~ *shiny eyes* Belkia: *smiles* "So, where do you want me to perform?" guy 3: 7w7~<3 -elsewhere- Tsukiyo: *grumble grumble* "So annoying..." fang-hua: its ok. you're life isnt over. Tsukiyo: *pout* "I know. I just feel conflicted. I'm upset for myself, but happy for the Commander and the Sister--and I don't want to come between that." *sigh* "...You know what I want?" fang-hua: oh? Tsukiyo: *sets a bottle of sake on the table* fang-hua: ._.; oh... Tsukiyo: *pours out two small cups, then sets the bottle away* "Just a little to take the edge off." fang-hua: ^^; -elsewhere- Sakuya: "Lilac, pass the plate around--take as many donuts as you want." lilac:....*nom* .... Sakuya: ^^ "Naho, want one?" naho: *nom* ^o^ himawari:..... Sakuya: *offers one* "Here, Himawari--try one." himawari:...*nom*.... Sakuya: *smiles* tsubaki: enjoying yourselves? Sakuya: *nods* "Yeah. It's kind of nice having the place not so packed." -later- otogiri: we're home. lavender: it was one hell of a night~ Higan: *his jacket over Lavender's back, his hand on her hip* "Yeah." Shamrock: *sigh of relief* lavender: ^^ otogiri: -_-; Black Star: "Wait, where's Belkia?" otogiri: he's here. Belkia: *winces* "H-Hey..." tsubaki: oh my goodness! are you ok? Belkia: "Y-Yeah, I'm fine...Just a...'show' didn't go as I expected." ^^; tsubaki: ?? Belkia: "Man, I've _never_ pulled a rabbit out like that before--HA HA--ow..." tsubaki: ?? oh..OH! O.O otogiri: *facepalm* what have we learned from this? Belkia: "Ask more questions, use protection, and damn that did feel kind of good!" lavender: on the bright side, at least sham didnt break any legs this time! Shamrock: x_-;;;; "...I may have bust a nut..." Black Star: >__< naho: O_O like with your foot or...??? Shamrock: "...It's a phrase, referring to men getting off..." naho: o////////o oh. tsubaki:..i....see.... *covering lilac's ears* Sakuya: -____-;;; "Some info is better left to yourselves..." Belkia: "I'm going to turn in...and sleep this off." Higan: "I'm not that tired yet." otogiri: .... lavender: round two~? Higan: "Indeed~" Black Star: -_-; "You okay, Otogiri?" otogiri: yes. just tired from dealing with their nonsense. Black Star: "Yeah, I hear that..." tsubaki: ^^; himawari:....... Shamrock: "??? Himawari? You have an okay day?" himawari:...... Shamrock: "...I hope it's getting better. Did you have anything to eat?" himawari:.... Shamrock: "...Well, I'll cook something and put it in the fridge, in case you get hungry in the night." -elsewhere- Tsukiyo: *slurred speech* "You are a good friend, Fang!" *pats her back* fang-hua: t-thanks... 7///7; Tsukiyo: "Okay, last call! Want another sip?" -elsewhere- Kuro: "...So we're fine with Tsubaki negotiating 'peace' with this lunatic?" mahiru: well, she's our best option for this. and it's worked so far, right? Kuro: "This person is dangerous, though. I only hope she keeps a tight leash on him." -elsewhere- Mr. Tsubaki: "I hope the blood helps you feel better. Get some more rest." reimi: *asleep* hinata: *pokes her head in* hikage: *peeeeek* Mr. Tsubaki: "!!!" hikage: mr doctor, are you really a kitsune? hinata: thanks for saving kabuki. ^^ Mr. Tsubaki: "..." *nervous laugh* "A 'kitsune'? Ha ha...Who told you that?" ^^;;; hinata: kabuki told us! Mr. Tsubaki: ._.;;;; "Um...You promise not to tell anyone?" ("Otogiri and Teacher, thank you both for teaching me first aid...") hikage: we wont say anything. hinata: so long as you pay up! Mr. Tsubaki: "...Eh?" *looking in his empty pockets* "Um...I guess I'll be doing odd jobs to pay up..." hinata: not money. *points to a jar of candy* Mr. Tsubaki: "...Ah!" *opens the jar, removes candy to hand to the girls* "Here you go!" -nom nom- hinata: thanks~ hikage: you've bought our silence. Mr. Tsubaki: ^^;; "That's good...Now, let's let the Sister sleep to finish her recovery." -elsewhere- Victor: "Thanks for the tea. I hope you get some good sleep tonight, Nozomi." nozomi: r-right. tamaki: making friends, new guy? *sits next to nozomi* Victor: *smiles, nods at Tamaki* "I hope so. Nozomi has been a brilliant colleague in our investigation." tamaki: she sure is. nozomi: oh..t-thank you. Victor: "How long have you two known each other, Tamaki?" tamaki: a while. she's kinda monitoring my behavior...she's kinda my best friend. nozomi: ./////. m-miss tamaki... Victor: *still smiling* "Then you probably have the best friend anyone could have." tamaki: *smiles* yeah. i want to be there to keep her safe too.... *gives him a glint* Victor: *smiles back* "Don't we all?" *glint--to the point that a spark of electricity is passing between his and Tamaki's intense glares* nozomi: ^^;; Victor: "I hope to continue this conversation with you both in the morning..." *yawns, stretches...right in front of Nozomi* "But I had best sleep. Good night, Tamaki. Pleasant dreams, Nozomi." nozomi: .////. r-right. tamaki:..... Victor: *leaves...and left a listening device hidden under the table* -elsewhere- Black Star: *crawls into bed* tsubaki: *asleep next to him* Black Star: "..." *worried face, as he gently hugs her* tsubaki: *smiles* Black Star: *closes his eyes, rests his head next to hers* -morning- Tsukiyo: =w= *muttering in her sleep* "Why, yes, that would be wonderful..." fang-hua: tsukiyo...tsukiyo time to get up.... Tsukiyo: *still talking in her sleep* "Right there, Kabuki..." *her arms go up towards Fang-Hua* fang-hua: e-eh?? O///O *she got pulled in* !!! Tsukiyo: *her arms wrap around Fang-Hua, as a leg goes over her* "Mmm...Hold me close..." fang-hua: !!!! t-t-tsu-tsukiyo!! Tsukiyo: "Oh, Kabuki...Call my name out again..." *opens one eye...sees Fang-Hua* "...Huh. Why are you in my bed, buddy?" fang-hua: im trying to wake you up... .///_///.; Tsukiyo: "...Huh." *looks down at herself* "...I guess I drunk too much, huh?" *she's pressed up against Fang-Hua...* fang-hua: mind letting go please? >///<; Tsukiyo: "Oh, right!" *lets go, sits up...she's naked* "Sorry about that." -elsewhere- Shamrock: *already making breakfast* tsubaki: morning. Shamrock: *nods* "Good morning. How are you feeling?" tsubaki: a lot better. Shamrock: "...I am happy for you, and Tsubaki." tsubaki: hey, dont leave black*star out. >.< Shamrock: *small smirk* "I think it's _you_ who shouldn't leave him out..." tsubaki: *pouts* lavender: *chop* come on sham, lay off. Shamrock: X_T "Hmph." *goes back to cooking* Higan: *shirtless* "Ignore him, Tsu. Sham just likes to be a jerk about things. Wishing you the best." tsubaki: thank you. Higan: *pouring some coffee, reaches to the table to take some sugar--and purposefully passes his hand just close behind the small of Lavender's back* Belkia: "Mornin', everyone." lavender: oh~ 7w7 Higan: *winks at her* naho: *nyaaawn* morning everyone... =.= *still half asleep* otogiri: -_-; Sakuya: *standing next to Naho...but...* "Zzz..." lilac: *poke poke* himawari:........ Sakuya: *snort awake* "H-Huh? Wha? Where am I?" naho: mrrzzzz..... Black Star: *yawns* "..." *spots Tsubaki* tsubaki: morning. *she smiles* Shamrock: *smiles at Himawari* "Ready to dine, Himawari?" himawari:...... Sakuya: *looks at Naho, who is leaning against him* Black Star: *small smile* "Hey..." *walks over...and kisses Tsubaki lightly on the lips* tsubaki: U///U naho: zzzzz..... Black Star: "Morning..." Sakuya: *poke poke at Naho's shoulder* tsubaki: sleep well? naho: nhhnng? who..wha.... Black Star: *small shrug* "Alright..." *holds her hand* tsubaki: *smiles* Sakuya: "Hey...It's morning. Time to get up, sleepy head." naho: is it the weekend? Sakuya: "Yep...so I thought you'd like to be up to make the most of it." *smile* naho: *nyaaawn* ok. tsubaki: that reminds me, i got this weeks schedule set up. Shamrock: "Oh? What's on it?" -a list of chores, appointments, and other reminders- Belkia: *pops up behind Tsubaki* "...I'm not going to do most of this stuff, so let's all agree to have Shamrock do all the work!" otogiri: -_-; Shamrock: *SHAM-CHOP to Belkia's head* "We will split the work on the basis of ability, time, and fairness. Tsubaki, I will take on more work so that the younger subclasses have time for their homework and leisure time." Higan: *points to a few entries* "I can take care of those today." lavender: hmm, i got gardening duty today, not bad. Sakuya: "Vacuuming and...bathrooms? Ugh...Fine." -elsewhere- Mr. Tsubaki: *in nurse's scrubs, visiting Reimi with a tray of food* "Morning. Ready for your breakfast?" ^^ reimi: ^^; Mr. Tsubaki: *sets the tray at her bed...and points to a vial with his blood in it* Mr. Tsubaki: "You'll be released tomorrow." reimi: *she nods* i cant wait to head back to the shrine. i bet the others are worried about me... Mr. Tsubaki: "I can assure you they are..." *points to his ear* "Foxes keep an ear open for those things." reimi: ^^; Mr. Tsubaki: "...I know it will be challenging to re-acclimate after all that happened, including having someone take your identity. But...if life has taught me something, it is that you can overcome these challenges." reimi: *she nods*.... Mr. Tsubaki: "Is there anything I may do to help?" *slicing her apple* -elsewhere- Kid: *already dressed and adjusting furniture in the den* stocking: feng shuei? Kid: *nods* "I always have trouble with getting the colors correct..." *holds up his fingers to form a square with with he looks* "Hmm...That painting is still crooked, too." stocking: need help? Kid: *nods* "Yes...You have such a good idea for these details..." -elsewhere- Konro: "Good work rebuilding, soldiers." soldier: ^^ Konro: "Kabuki, when does the next delivery of lumber arrive?" kabuki: should arrive by tuesday. Konro: *nods* "We'll move onto other tasks until Tuesday, then." Benimaru: "Oh, Konro, Kabuki. Good work..." kabuki: *he nods* soldier: gonna call it a day and visit your girlfriend, beni~? haha! Benimaru: -\\\\\\- *summons a fireball...* "You have five seconds..." soldier: O-O;;;;; kabuki: ^^; Konro: "...Huh. Having a girlfriend has made you lightened up: usually you only give them two seconds--" Benimaru: *fireball at the soldier's feet* soldier: *FLEES* Benimaru: *grunt, harumph...* "...Excuse me. I have to see Sister Kirei now..." kabuki: by all means. Benimaru: *approaches the shrine...* "Hmm...Much work to do here..." kirei: hmm. oh, benimaru. it's nice to see you. Benimaru: *nods* "You as well." *awkward silence* "...You are looking well." sister: oh~ she's going right to his name! sister: oh my~ kirei: g-girls! really... ^///^;; Benimaru: -\\\\- *small smile* "I wanted to check on how recovery and rebuilding was going." kirei: it's doing well. sister reimi will be home soon. Benimaru: "Oh, that is good news. Her recovery is nothing short of a miracle." kirei: ....she saved my life... Benimaru: "..." *holds her hand* "She knows how grateful you are...as am I." kirei:...*smiles* Benimaru: *looks around* "Wait...where is your fox?" kirei: he's with reimi in the clinic...he's taken a liking to her as of late... Benimaru: "...Rather loyal, then. Someone to help her recover..." -elsewhere- Lawless: *holds up his phone* "Do it. Come on! You'll get so many hits!" julian: this is a terrible idea. TT_TT romina: it's fine, you've had worse! Lawless: "Okay, I hit record--start the music!" julian:....*sigh of defeat as he begins dancing....in a maid costume....a very showy maid costume* Lawless: "Ha ha ha! Yeah, baby! Shake that money-maker!" licht: ..... -_-; Lawless: *finishes recording* "And now to upload! So much traffic, man...Licht, go put on those boxers with the hearts on them: you're going to be reading 1 Henry IV." licht: no way in hell. kranz: i'll do it then. besides, those are my boxers! Lawless: "Thanks, Kranz! You're a bigger help than Piano Fuck Boi over here..." licht: *inches from lawless' face* im sorry, the fuck was that? Lawless: "..." *puts the phone away, stares Licht in the face...and...* *tear, rip* licht: ?!?! Lawless: "AH HA!" Lawless: "You _do_ wear boxers!" licht:......... Lawless: *SNAP SNAP SNAP* "Blackmail!" -one brutal beatdown later- Lawless: *body pixelated due to the amount of blood lost* -elsewhere- Victor: "What do you in the 8th do for fun?" shinra: we have a wii u. tamaki: most of us go to school during the day. Victor: "How about you, Nozomi?" nozomi: i go to school with them. Victor: "Neat. How far along are you?" -elsewhere- Johannes: *grumbling* "Stupid Jeje and everyone telling me to get out of the shop for a few hours...Not my fault that stink bomb went off..." ???: then i said 'no you are', then he said 'no _you_ are' and then i was like 'i guess i kinda am.' so long story short, i kinda owe him 5 dollars. Johannes: "???" *looks at the person talking* kyouko: honestly, i dont know what we're gonna do with you. sayaka: hehe ^^; Johannes: :3 *looks at them talking* kyouko: ..?? hey, isnt that your 'boyfriend'? sayaka: eh? *turns* O____O OHGODNO! *'graceful' swan dive into the bushes* Johannes: *waves happily* "Hello, Sweet Pea! Hello, Sweet Pea's friend!" kyouko: hey. sayaka: *in the bushes* Q__Q Johannes: *walks over, waves* "I'm Dr. Johannes Mimir Faustus! Happy to meet you!" kyouko: well, you can just call me kyouko, and as you know, this is sayaka. sayaka: KYOUKO! HOW COULD YOU SELL ME OUT!? Johannes: *still standing beside Kyouko, waving happily at Sayaka* "Howdy! What are you two up to this fine day?" sayaka: Q-Q kyouko: -_- sayaka get out of the bushes and face your damn fears. sayaka: *tiny scoot* hey. Johannes: *squee* "So, what are you two up to? Errands? Off to the library? Movies? Meals? Battling the forces of evil with powers inherited by small furry creatures?" kyouko: ...what? sayaka: nothing! nothing interesting at all! we should be going now! Johannes: "...Oh. Well, um, okay." *waves* "Have a good day, then..." -elsewhere- Mr. Tsubaki: *in fox form, rolling on his back in Reimi's room in the sunlight through the window* ^^ "So happy..." -elsewhere- Relan: "Feeling better?" mikami: y-yeah... Relan: *smiles* "That's good...We miss you at the station. Gonna need you back there soon...Giovanni wants you back at work when you're ready, too." mikami: *she nods* ryuuko:.... Relan: "...Um...I could also get you your remaining homework, too...If that helps." mikami: i appreciate that, t-though you dont have to if you d-dont want to... Relan: "I want to, because you and Ryuuko are my friends..." *smiles* mikami:... ^^ ryuuko:.... 7u7; Relan: TTwTT -elsewhere- Sakuya: Q~Q "That bathroom was icky times a billion." naho: phew...at least it's all done now... Sakuya: *collapses onto the couch* "I wonder how the others did..." Higan: "About done..." lavender: all finished~! himawari:...... Shamrock: "Kitchen is cleaned up--so I made some snacks." *holds the tray up to Himawari* himawari:... Shamrock: "..." ("What do I do with this one...?") -elsewhere- Gopher: "I think it's cute..." kirika: 7n7;; *in a kigurumi* Gopher: "And I bet it feels soft and warm, right?" kirika: it's nice. -elsewhere- Jacqueline: *reading a newspaper* kim: whats new? Jacqueline: "Rebuilding is still happening in Asakusa...jewelry theft in Milan...value of the yen went up..." kim: ah. -with ponera's group- shaula: *hella proud of her new scorpion brooch* Ponera: "...So...How did you get that?" shaula:...it was a present~ beatrice: 7///7; Ponera: *shiny eyes* "D'aw! I wish I had someone do that for me..." grimoire: .... -elsewhere- Jeje: "I forgot how much quieter it is when he goes out..." metsu: *she nods* Jeje: "Anything I can do to help you with remaining items on our to-do list?" -elsewhere- Hibana: *eating cereal angrily* *NOM NOM NOM* >< gabriella: please be careful. ^^; -elsewhere- Shinoda: *hugging the apple tree* ^^ mana: SHINODA YOU ARE EMBARRASSING ALL OF US! Shinoda: "This is a life-giving tree for me--don't ruin this..." *kisses the tree* nea: *facepalm* Kepuri: "...Kind of shipping it." nea: D8< lin: maybe putting Adderall in his apple wasnt one of your best ideas, emine. Emine: "...I may have gone too far this time...I'll put myself in the corner when we get home." Shinoda: "Cradle me in your branches, you gorgeous life-giving plant." nea: and this is why we cant have nice things. -elsewhere- Kid: "And now, all is in order." *beaming* stocking: *she smiles* Kid: "...Sorry. I took you away from your studying, didn't I?" stocking: it's fine, kid. Kid: *smiles* "Thank you." *pats her back* "Well, I'll let you return to studying..." stocking: ^^ Kid: *heads to the kitchen...* -elsewhere- Lily: "Any updates from your girlfriend?" misono: oh shush. 7///7; mahiru: ^^; misono: well, things seem to have cooled down at C3 for now... Kuro: "Locking up vampires like that...I don't see Touma forgiving his employees for allowing their escape." misono:....still, i hope she- they, are ok... 7///7; Lily: "Maybe you should check in on her...I mean, 'them.'" :3 misono:....i wouldnt want to arouse suspicion. Kuro: "Put on a disguise? Or talk with her at school?" misono:...perhaps. Lily: "I have quite a range of disguises~" -elsewhere- Touma: *reviewing files on vampires...and other creatures* ("This may prove useful...") -elsewhere- Mr. Tsubaki: *in human form, waves at the twins* hinata: ^^ fang-hua: so then, 'drifter', you're some kind of kitsune then? Mr. Tsubaki: o___o;; ("So much for secrets...") "Um...Well, I mean...Heh. What makes you say that?" ^^;; fang-hua:....nevermind, just thinking out loud. Mr. Tsubaki: ^^;;;;; "I'm just here to provide any medical assistance I can...I mean, you don't suspect me of anything, do you?" fang-hua: why would i? you did help the commander out back at the shrine. Mr. Tsubaki: "It's just that your colleague seemed suspicious of me...I swear, I'm just here to help." ("...And because I can't go home...") fang-hua: alright then. -elsewhere- Relan: [things calmer now?] shinra: [yeah. we now have the 7th as allies! \(^o^)/ ] Relan: [yay! i assume in no small part because of your work] shinra: [daw. ^^; well the others helped out a ton as well.] shinra: [anyway, how's mikami doing, any better?] Relan: [a bit. it's a lot to work through] shinra: [no kidding. did U and iris talk to her about anything?] Relan: [a little. trying to figure out what kind of dreams she's having] shinra: [ah. so what was kurai manor like?] Relan: [big. o_o like, could fit 20 houses in there. regal look, interesting coat of arms] shinra: [oh?] Relan: [yeah, the coat has this woman with bright red hair] shinra: [ah, well, mikami does have red hair too... and i saw her dad has red hair too. i saw him on TV once. them genetics tho] Relan: [ha ha! yeah. hard not to spot members of her family in a crowd. sleeping any better?] shinra: [yeah.] Relan: [that's good. i hope you have good dreams soon] -elsewhere- Joker: "All according to plan..." *sips his umbrella drink* scarlet:.... you just walked in here, sat down and said 'all according to plan'. -_-; Joker: "...That is part of the plan." *sip* scarlet: your plan being? Joker: "Well, having Victor in place with the 8th to keep an eye on what they discover...and to make sure we keep tabs on the Hoods." scarlet: right. Joker: "We are in the intelligence gathering. Once Victor finds what we need, we make our next move." Joker: "And our next move will be quite a doozy~" -elsewhere- Arthur: "Huh. Never seen you without the nun outfit, Sister." iris: ^^; tamaki: so what are we doing out here? Arthur: "Grocery run. Freaking Victor is eating us out of house and home..." nozomi: he's not so bad. ^^; tamaki:... Arthur: "Well, you two _have_ to work together, so I get that _you_ have to see the best in him..." nozomi: .////. i-i suppose. tamaki: *rolls her eyes* Arthur: "If Victor gives you problems, let us know. No point having him try to disrupt our home...Interloper." nozomi: r-right... Arthur: "??? In any case, what food do we need? I want a boar, to roast on a pit." -elsewhere- Anya: *napping on the couch* tsugumi:...*puts a blanket over her* Meme: "Must be pretty tired after work today." -elsewhere- Shinoda: *holding an ice-pack to his head* "I can't remember what happened..." nea: *patting his head* Shinoda: "Did I do anything stupid?" *feels something in his mouth...pulls out a leaf* "???" -elsewhere- Johannes: "I'm home!" metsu: welcome back. Jeje: "Sss...I suggest you hide. Mikuni wants to know--" Mikuni: "What happened to Jocelyn's eyeball?!" *holds up a doll missing an eye* Johannes: "...Vision test." metsu:....*facepalm* Mikuni: "THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Johannes: *holds up Jocelyn's missing eye to his own eye* "That's not how I saw it..." Mikuni: "...Metsu...Give me some space..." metsu: *she goes upstairs* please take it outside. Jeje: -____-;;; Johannes: "Yeah! Time to play--" *PUNCH'd* *Johannes is knocked through the open door and into the street, landing in a dumpster* Mikuni: "..." *sigh, as he picks up Jocelyn's eye* "Time to sew you back on~" ^^ Jeje: "That was quick...Wait for me, Metsu..." Johannes: @~@ "I see three of everything...That ain't right. Usually it's six of everything..." ???: oi, you alright? Johannes: "Oh, this is nothing. One time, he punched me so hard I went into orbit...Um, who is speaking? Is that you, God?" -a young woman is there, wearing goggles and a lab coat- ???: nah, just a regular passerby. Johannes: "Huh." *picks banana peel off his head* "You have on goggles and a lab coat, the international symbols of a fellow scientist." ???: why you'd be correct my good man. i also do some mechanic work on the side. *offers a hand to help him out* Johannes: *takes her hand, steps out, brushes debris off him* "Thank you. By the way, I am Johannes Mimir Faustus." ???: cool, the name's Itou. Karin Itou to be exact, haha! Johannes: "Hey, neat! So, what are you a scientist of?" karin: answering the unanswered question, my particular field of study would be in flame humans, as well as flame compatible tech. i even built this bad boy! *pats a flame powered mech suit* -elsewhere- Black Star: "Okay, so you all finish your errands?" naho: yep. otogiri: yes. Belkia: *covered in leaves* "Done!" Shamrock: *in an apron* "Food finished." Higan: *smoking a cigarette* "What do you think?" Black Star: -____-;;;; otogiri: *chop* do that outside. Black Star: "Thanks, Otogiri. Tsubaki, how did your errands go?" tsubaki: they went well. Black Star: *nods* "Well, guess it's time to sit to dinner--" *KNOCK KNOCK* tsubaki: ?? *she checks the peephole* *A small package is outside* tsubaki: ??? *It has a camellia blossom attached to the top...and a small kitsune plushie* tsubaki:... !! *she brings it in* naho:....ah! otogiri: !! Sakuya: "Is that...?" tsubaki: yes...*she looks at black*star* seems it's for all of us. Black Star: -___-;;; "It better not blow up..." tsubaki: *carefully opens the package* *Inside are some treats and a card* naho: ooh! *shiny eyes* tsubaki: *reads the attached card* NOTE: "A local treat until I can return to you, my family. I miss you all." *Signed with the doodle of a fox* tsubaki: *soft smile* naho: awwwww..... Black Star: "...Okay. That's pretty sweet. But you don't think he poisoned these, do you?" tsubaki: ^^; i doubt that Shamrock: X_TT "He thinks so much about us..." *nom nom* Belkia: "Yo, Tsu? I think there's another note in there..." tsubaki: ........*she looks at black*star* Black Star: "..." *nods* tsubaki:....*she opens it* NOTE: "Camelia Blossom-- What gets me through this time is knowing you are waiting for me. Your smile is what I see in my dreams. The warmth of your hand against mine is what I remember when I desire stability and strength to get through the day. I miss our family so much, and I miss you. I love you, and I will never stop loving you. Wait for me." tsubaki:....*tearing up* Black Star: "..." *pats her shoulder* tsubaki:...t-thanks. Black Star: *smiles, nods* Sakuya: "..." *holds Naho's hand* otogiri: -_-; so much for a 'private letter'.... lavender: oh shit...he's got it bad for her. *The envelope is sealed with a kiss...and the envelope is all black* naho: another one! *muttering* well, white day is tomorrow... Sakuya: ^^; tsubaki: *she opens it* Note: "If you need something to get you through those lonely nights..." *Enclosed is a photograph...* tsubaki:..... O////O;; lavender: oh. well then. Higan: "..." *smirk* "Good for him." Black Star: -____- otogiri:.... i have no response for that. Sakuya: "...That idiot." tsubaki:...*gives the photo to shamrock* here, you could use this more than me. i'll probably get too flustered to keep looking... .////.; Shamrock: x\\\o;;;; "B-But it was addressed to you!" *tries to pass it back* "My hands are not worthy of touching this!" tsubaki: n-no, i insist, really. >///< naho: JUST TAKE IT ALREADY! Shamrock: "Eep!" *holds it* x\\\\\\\o -elsewhere- Benimaru: "Kirei, are you well?" kirei: yes. *she smiles* i appreciate you letting me visit. Benimaru: *nods* "It is...a new experience. I tend to be private." kirei: *she nods* its understandable. your soldiers arent teasing you too much, are they? ^^; Benimaru: "...They tease. Not too much. They tend to stop once I threaten to burn them." kirei: hehe... *she holds his hand* Benimaru: -\\\- *small squeeze* "...I am happy you are here." -elsewhere- Kid: *yawn* stocking: zzzz.... Kid: *hugs her in his sleep* stocking: =w= Kid: *nuzzle* *yawns* "Love you..." tsubaki: mmmn~ Kid: *falls asleep next to her* "Zzz..." -elsewhere- Victor: *sitting alone in the kitchen, sipping on a glass of milk* nozomi: oh, you're still awake? Victor: "Yeah. Sorry, I take some time getting used to new places." ^^ nozomi: i see...h-how are you liking it here, so far? Victor: "Not bad. Surprised how furbished everything here is." *sips on milk again...leaving a milk mustache* nozomi: *chuckle* y-you have something on your... *points* Victor: "???" *touches his upper lip...small laugh, as he wipes it away* "Thanks...So, you're still up, too?" nozomi: *she nods* sometimes i work so hard i lose track of the time. ^^;; Victor: "Your hard work is admirable--I'm still impressed how thorough you have been in your records." nozomi: t-thank you. Victor: "...Hey, can I ask you something personal? What are some of your hobbies?" nozomi: eh? well, i do enjoy reading from time to time. Victor: "Fiction or non-fiction?" nozomi: usually non-fiction. Victor: "Ah. Any particular reason you prefer non-fiction?" nozomi: hmm, i suppose i just enjoy learning about things. ah, i sound like such a nerd, dont i? >///< Victor: "Yes. But I'm a nerd, too. It's about desiring to know more, and I don't think that's a bad thing at all. I think it's admirable." nozomi: oh. um.... .///. Victor: *smiles* "Thanks for telling me. It makes me feel better about being here." nozomi: mm.... .////. Victor: "...Want some milk? It tends to help me fall asleep." -elsewhere- Shamrock: x\\\\\\- *sigh of content* -knock- naho: sham? you in there? Shamrock: x\\\\\\\o ("WHY CAN'T I EVER GET A MOMENT OF PRIVACY?!") *pulls up his pants, hides the photograph, approaches the door, talks through it* "Y-Yes...Is everything okay?" naho: just checking. Shamrock: "..." *opens the door--he is fully dressed* "It is rather late. Couldn't sleep?" naho: im worried about himawari...i think she's cold... Shamrock: "...Maybe a thicker blanket?" naho:...do you think you can talk to her? Shamrock: "..." *nods* "Where is she?" naho: on the couch, she hasnt moved an inch... Shamrock: *nods, goes to the couch* "Himawari? How are you?" himawari:....*glances at him*...... Shamrock: "...May I have a seat?" himawari:...... Shamrock: *sits by her* "...I tend to have trouble sleeping, some nights." himawari:....... Shamrock: "I have to remind myself, that I have a life ahead of me...and another day..." himawari:........ Shamrock: "So I have to remind myself my body needs some sleep...and I lie in my bed, pulling the blankets over me, to feel held by them..." himawari:.......... Shamrock: "...Would you feel better if I stayed with you, until you fall asleep?" himawari:..... Shamrock: "...I brought a blanket?" *puts it down over her and him* himawari:...... Shamrock: "...Is this okay? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable..." *lightly rests his hand over hers* himawari:....*slightly leans in* Shamrock: "..." *puts an arm around her, lightly* himawari:....am i.... Shamrock: "???" himawari:....am i.....a bad girl....mr touma....? *she's trembling* Shamrock: "Himawari...No. You are not..." himawari:.....? Shamrock: "You are not bad. You are yourself, and you get to decide who you will be." himawari:......... Shamrock: "I think you are a good person..." himawari:...... Shamrock: "You are going through a difficult time...and you are strong to get through each day...and you will always have help..." himawari:....*trembling* Shamrock: *hug* himawari:.....im sorry.... Shamrock: "You have nothing to apologize for...I'm sorry I was not there..." himawari:.... Shamrock: "You are safe here...and your family loves you." himawari:.......*trembling* Shamrock: "It's okay...What you feel is fine...Let it out..." himawari:......i can....still feel him....touching me.... Shamrock: *nods* "Those memories...are going to persist. But he is not here..." himawari:........*whimpering* Shamrock: "You are away from him...And you have a life ahead of you." -morning- Shamrock: "Zzz..." himawari: zzzz....... Shamrock: *yawns, wakes up...* "..." *tries to get out of bed without waking her...* himawari: zzzzz.... Shamrock: *exits his room to go to the kitchen... lavender: she doing any better? Shamrock: "...You know, huh? I don't know...She held onto me, crying for an hour, before falling asleep. She talked a bit, shivered...but I think she got some deep, uninterrupted sleep." lavender: that's good...... sorry, its just....her situation...it hits a little too close to home for me... Shamrock: *nods* "I'm sorry." lavender: .... Shamrock: "...I was going to prepare breakfast..." -elsewhere- Yohei: "Good morning." chie: TT~TT Yohei: "??? Oh no...Need something to drink?" chie: *nods* Yohei: "Water? Ginger ale?" chie: the second one.... Yohei: "On it. Be right back..." *leaves and goes to the kitchen, getting the ginger ale* chie: TT_TT i thought i was done with morning sickness.... Yohei: "Just a bit longer..." *hands her the glass* chie: thanks honey. Yohei: *hugs her* "You're welcome." chie: UwU Yohei: "It'll get better soon..." *rests a hand on her belly* -elsewhere- misono: happy birthday lily. Lily: TTwTT "Thank you..." *hug* -elsewhere- Kid: "Good luck with studies today." *smooch* stocking: hehe~<3 Kid: "I'll have dinner ready when you get home. I love you." stocking: ok. *she looks at her notes* -upon arriving- student: i hear mr neuhaus is teaching the class today. stocking: (thinking: i've heard the name, but i've never met him in person...) Neuhaus: *enters* "Good morning. Eyes on the board, as we begin your work on summoning and controlling demons." *spots Stocking* stocking: ......?? (thinking: so, is he gonna be cool, or is he gonna be a d-bag?) Neuhaus: *calling to Stocking* "You are the new potential instructor?" stocking: !! yes sir! that would be me. OwO;; Neuhaus: "Hm. Any experience with taming demons?" stocking: well, somewhat. Neuhaus: "Good. Let's demonstrate. I'm having the students attempt a summoning--please pass out the summoning papers to students." stocking: right. Neuhaus: "Hold the paper to you...prick your finger to release blood...and let's see whether any of you have innate summoning abilities." stocking: *wince* Neuhaus: "Observe what I summon..." *POOF: a vaguely canine-like demon emerges by Neuhaus's side* "I have to keep a strong command over this demon, or risk having it loose control." stocking: *deep breaths* -elsewhere- Benimaru: *he is smiling* kabuki: you seem to be in a good mood today. Benimaru: "I think that this is a chance at progress for our home..." kabuki: how so? Benimaru: "A new alliance, rebuilding our homes, enlarging our medical unit...my own personal progress." kabuki: ah.. Benimaru: "...I feel more content." *smiles at Kabuki* "I am thankful that you and others were able to keep our home safe." -elsewhere- Victor: *stares at Shinra* shinra:...can i help you? Victor: *gets down on his belly, staring at Shinra's feet* "...Piggies..." shinra: uh.... iris: h-hey now! tamaki: WHAT THE HELL PERV?! Victor: *grabs Shinra's sandal, pulling it off, examining Shinra's toes* "So your fire is concentrated here? How do you walk with fire? Do you get athlete's feet? Are there any shoe-fabrics your feet don't burn through? Do you clip your nails? How do you avoid calluses? Have you ever walked on glass?" *starts writing notes, as he measures Shinra's feet with a ruler* shinra: um.... Akitaru: *picks Victor up--by his leg, holding him upside down* "Please don't harass the other members here. Nozomi, take him back to the lab to finish your work." nozomi: r-right. this way. Victor: *pouts* "Just want to learn more...for science." shinra: ......thanks commander. Akitaru: *smiles* "Any time, son. Now, let's all get back to work, too--we have a lot to catch up on after our excursion to Asakusa." -elsewhere- Jacqueline: *pokes Kim's arm* kim: hmm? Jacqueline: "What if you had a tattoo there?" kim: tattoo? owo;; Jacqueline: "Remember when I dyed my hair? I thought maybe a tattoo would look good on you." kim: like a permanent tattoo? owo;;; Jacqueline: *shrug* "Just a thought...Maybe...we could both get tattoos..." -elsewhere- Emine: "...You did say 'paint the fence.' You didn't say I couldn't write a message on it..." mana:....i have no words for this. Shotaro: o___o;; "...Those are some really naughty words." *holds up the "Swear Jar"* "That's at least 20 dollars' worth of cursing." Emine: "I don't see the problem. What do you think, Lin?" lin: O/////O;;;; saki: ^^# Tool: *glaring* "That fence...is crying in pain because of what you wrote. Now, paint _over_ those words, or you'll get an earful from me. Got it?" Emine: "...Fine. You *HONK HONK*." saki:.....emine~.....start running~ ^^# Emine: "..." *flies away like a bat out of Hell* Tool: "GET BACK HERE, YOU *HONK HONK*!" Shotaro: "...Mana? What's a *HONK HONK*?" mana: i'll tell you when you're older. -elsewhere- Mr. Tsubaki: *reviewing medical records* "Hmm...This patient's electrolytes are a bit low..." -elsewhere- Joker: *staring at the phone* "...He hasn't called in." -riiiing- Joker: *picks up the phone* "Yes?" Victor: [text...which is just a photograph of toes and the sentence, "his toes must be the answer!"] Joker: "..." -_______- scarlet:..... ew. -elsewhere- Gopher: *opens his locker* "...Where are my books?" kotone:...bottom shelf... Gopher: "Aw! Thank you." -w- *takes his books...then finds a note* "???" kotone: ??? -do your best. ~eibon- Gopher: TTwTT "My emotions...He cares so much about us..." kotone:...*small smile* Gopher: "Ready for lunch?" kotone:...yes. Gopher: "Yay! Chicken nuggets today--" *BUMP* kotone: ??? bandaid kid: ah! s-sorry! *runs off* Gopher: O_____O "...Was that a tinier me?" -elsewhere- Kid: *in the Death Room* "How is work proceeding, Father?" lord death: doing good kiddo. ^^ Kid: "I'm glad." *looks at the Mirror...his hand approaches its surface before he pulls back* -elsewhere- Sakuya: "Any plans for after school?" naho: not really. i'm probably gonna get myself ready for the flower viewing next month. Sakuya: "Neat. Got an outfit for it?" naho: still getting it set up. Sakuya: *nods* "Where is flower viewing next month?" naho: *gets up map app on her phone* here, in spring grove park in primrose neighborhood. Sakuya: "Cool...What do you wear to it? Kimono?" naho: probably. ^^ Sakuya: *smiles, nudge of her arm* "That'll be cool." -elsewhere- Kid: "Dinner is served~" stocking: thanks~ Kid: *pulls up the dining cover to reveal...* "Candied pistachio chicken." -later- liz: how was class? stocking: well, i learned summoning is not in my skillset. -_-; Patty: *pat pat* "Can't be perfect at everything!" stocking: i guess. Kid: "You have so many skills to offer the students, though." *smiles* stocking: *she smiles* Kid: "Do they have any trips planned to help you with additional training?" stocking: i'll have to check. Kid: "Do you have additional tests before they make your job official?" stocking: just the medical, aria, dragoon, and knight tests.... Patty: "Wow...That sounds like a lot." stocking: yeah.. *sigh* Kid: "One test at a time...Is there anything we can do to help with studying, or to keep up your motivation?" -elsewhere- Kepuri: *wearing a T-Shirt covered in baby vomit* T_T "I don't know how Saki and Tool deal with this..." akaderu: imagine what it'll be like with _two_ rugrats runnin around..... Kepuri: *groans* "That means more babysitting..." *pouts* "Kids are a lot of hard work, aren't they? I can't wait for Io to be old enough to tend to Yohei and Chie's kid." -elsewhere- Tsukiyo: "Woo! Good sparring session, Fang!" fang-hua: *she nods* it's starting to get warmer out now. Tsukiyo: :3 "I know. Can't wait for summer. But us fire people need to keep cool in the heat." fang-hua: yeah. Tsukiyo: "You know what? We should buy an ice cream machine and make some!" fang-hua: maybe. Tsukiyo: *smiles* "Well, that work-out worked up an appetite! What you hungry for?" -elsewhere- Higan: "...Feeling alright, Lav?" lavender: yeah. why wouldnt i be? Higan: *smile* "Just checking." *pat pat* lavender:...thanks. *small smile* Higan: "Hey...Wanted to show you something..." *takes out a photograph of the subclasses with Mr. Tsubaki* lavender: *she smiles* that was during the flower viewing last year, right? naho was still just a newbie then. Higan: *nods* "I found it while developing film...A lot has changed." lavender: yeah. Higan: *sigh* "...I appreciate what Miss Tsubaki does for us...but I miss that jackass." lavender: yeah, haha. Higan: "..." *pats her hand* "I also found some other photos I developed." lavender: oh? Higan: "Some of the youngsters, some of trips and meals...some private ones..." -elsewhere- Lawless: "Then check this out, Soul's brother--this is me and Lich-tan at Tokyo Disney! Look at his little Mickey Mouse ears!" Wes: "...Huh." licht: *sipping on a slushie* soul: ^^; Wes: "Never got to go to Disney. Soul, we should check it out some time." soul: sounds like a good idea. you could even take liz with you. Wes: "Yeah, her and Patty would get a kick out of it." Lawless: "??? You and Liz are a thing? Huh. So, Soul's going to be her brother-in-law, then?" Wes: o\\\\o soul: yeah, anyway, bro. Wes: *shakes his head back to focus* "Y-Yeah? What's up?" -elsewhere- Spirit: "Not too long before garden comes back into bloom..." sachiko: yeah. *she smiles* Spirit: "I was thinking of farming some new herbs for meals." sachiko: that sounds like a good idea. Spirit: "Anything you want to grow, Izumi?" -elsewhere- Anya: *flipping through a magazine* "Hmm...That one looks nice." tsugumi: oh. Anya: "Be a nice dress for you to try on. Or maybe this one?" -elsewhere- Arthur: *holds up a cat-shaped ice cream cookie sandwich* "For you." tamaki: *nom* Arthur: *smiles* "Feeling alright?" tamaki: yeah. *looking at the trees* hard to believe spring is just about here... Arthur: *nods* "A long year..." *slowly puts his arms around her* tamaki:.... 7///7 Arthur: "Maybe we can have a picnic in the park?" tamaki: sounds good. Arthur: *smiles, sighs* "...I'm happy you joined the 8th." tamaki: ...*smiles* shinra: come on, lovebirds, we got stuff to do. iris: ^^; tamaki: -_-; Arthur: -_-;; "Just taking a break...especially with the newbie around..." shinra: yeah, no kidding. *shivers* Arthur: "I don't trust him...Maybe we can learn more about him...Research him." iris: ^^; Victor: "Yeah, that sounds great! How can I help?" Arthur: o___O tamaki: NYAAAH! *jumps up into a tree* shinra: HOLY- Arthur: "Tamaki!" tamaki:...yeah yeah, laugh it up! the old cliche cat in a tree jokes.... Victor: "Oooooo! Tamaki! When you come down, I'd like to examine the flames along your legs and arms!" shinra: on the bright side, its not your usual cliche jokes. Arthur: "...I wasn't going to make a joke...Much." tamaki: WHEN I GET DOWN HERE IM GOING TO MASSACRE THE THREE OF YOU!!!! Victor: "What did I do?" Arthur: "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!" shinra: dont ask. Victor: "I could get you down..." *holds up an axe* -elsewhere- Hibana: *glomp* gabriella: ah! >///< Hibana: "Hee hee..." *smooch* gabriella: >/////< well, the tube is about ready, now we just have to wait... Hibana: ^\\\^ "Yes...How would you like to pass the time?" -elsewhere- Kid: *kitten yawn* stocking: *she smiles as she puts a blanket over him* Kid: *curls up, smiles* "Thank you..." stocking: hehe~ Kid: "I hope tomorrow is good to you..." *yawn* stocking: i hope so too.... Kid: *hug* "You will..." -morning- Benimaru: "Mmm..." kirei: U///U Benimaru: *smiles* "Good morning." kirei: *she smiles* Benimaru: "How is your morning starting?" -elsewhere- Shamrock: *whistling, as he makes breakfast* tsubaki: *helping* Shamrock: "Thank you, Tsubaki. Could you help me with this dish for Hinawari?" tsubaki: *she nods* Shamrock: "Keep an eye on this syrup I'm preparing while I finish the waffles..." *smiles* -later- himawari:....t...thank you... Shamrock: *smiles* "You're welcome. Tsubaki and I made this meal for you, because we wanted you to have a good meal." himawari:.....*small smile* Shamrock: *smiles back* "Enjoy." Belkia: *sniff sniff* "...Waffles?" naho: *drooling* Sakuya: "Looks great!" *sits down* Higan: "Good cooking, you two." *sits as well* -elsewhere- Kid: "Anything you want after school?" stocking: maybe visit the shops? Kid: *smiles* "I would like that." *pats her back* -elsewhere- Victor: "Yummy~" shinra: this is good, nozomi. nozomi: im glad you all enjoyed it... Arthur: *nods* "Thank you." Takehisa: "Quite good." Akitaru: "TASTY!" Victor: *smiles at Nozomi* "Delicious." nozomi: .////. tamaki: ...... Victor: "Well, I better get to work in the lab. See you all later!" nozomi:.... .//////. Akitaru: "...Nozomi? How are things working with Victor?" nozomi: eh? h-how so? Akitaru: "Getting along in the lab? Able to share the space, cooperate? Is he causing any problems?" nozomi: e-everything's doing well! very well! .////. maki:... 7w7 nozomiiiin~ is this love in the air that i smell~? nozomi: e-eh!? o/////o Takehisa: ._. Akitaru: "???" maki: just kidding~ nozomi: right!...hahahaha...ha...haaa..... .//////.;;; Akitaru: "Well, I'm glad you two are getting along at work. If you have any problems working with Victor, you let me know, any time, okay?" nozomi: r-right... Takehisa: "I think we should all get to work, then. No point fooling around..." -elsewhere- ivy: any updates? scarlet:... Joker: "I think our boy has an 'in' with the 8th, getting to one of their members." ivy: oh really? do tell... Joker: *shows a photo on his phone, with Victor posing with some brigade members, including Nozomi* "Looks like he is working along that girl there--ingratiating himself." ivy: i see. so he's putting the moves in shitty braids then? HAH! what a riot! scarlet: *rolls her eyes* Joker: "Got to start somewhere, if you want to appeal to the 8th and get them to see the Hoods for what they are--and help us with our work." scarlet: do you really think they’d be willing to work with 3 wanted criminals? Joker: "Misery makes strange bedfellows..." scarlet:....are you trying to hit on me again? -_-; Joker: "...Is it working?" scarlet:.........*takes his cig out of his mouth and snuffs it on his hand* -elsewhere- Shinoda: *pouts* "We only have apple sauce left..." lin: we'll head to the grocery shop then. medea:... Shotaro: "Right, we can go! Want to, Medea?" medea: very well. Shotaro: "Yay!" -elsewhere- Lawless: *reading poetry aloud at the school's entrance* student: isnt that hyde kranz? Anya: "???" Lawless: "True love is a durable fire, / In the mind ever burning, / Never sick, never dead, never cold, / From itself never turning." mio:....i dun get it. Lawless: -_-; *sigh* "It means--" Anya: "It means that love, if it is true, is everlasting rather than something fickle." Lawless: o\\\\o "Y-Yeah." licht: *clap* good for you. Lawless: *bows* "Thank you." *leaps off from the entrance to stand with Licht* "Ready for class?" -elsewhere- Relan: *smiles at Iris and Shinra* "How's the new recruit working out?" shinra: *cringe* iris: ^^;;; Relan: "??? That bad, huh?" iris: he's...enthusiastic, i'll give him that much. Relan: "So, kind of pushy?" shinra:.....anyway, is mikami doing any better? iris: did you find anything out? Relan: *nods* "Probably a link between what you were going through, Shinra. And she is almost ready to get back to service." shinra: hmm... Relan: "Would you like to meet them? I'm sure Mikami and you would have a lot to talk about." shinra: perhaps. (thinking: im not sure how much she knows....) Relan: *smiles* "Can always get something to eat. Mikami likes a few sweets..." -elsewhere- Hibana: "How is the tube working?" gabriella: coming along nicely... Hibana: *smiles* "Excellent." *checks the vitals* "Look at that..." gabriella: >w< Hibana: "Hee hee..." *kiss on Gabriella's cheek, holding her hand* -elsewhere- Kid: "Which shops would you like to visit?" -elsewhere- Lily: "Have you been speaking with your girlfriend?" misono: .... 7////7 y-yeah....she's doing well.. Lily: *smiles* "That is good. Is she safe with C3?" misono: i think so. Lily: *pat pat* "Then I'm sure she will be fine." -elsewhere- Victor: *looking through microscope, taking notes* "Still trying to figure out this ash...It's fascinating." nozomi: oh? Victor: *nods* "Ashes usually look like sand itself--yet I continue to find additional particles in these ashes from deposed Flame Beings...as if these are impure..." nozomi: hmmm.... Victor: "Here, take a look--" *stands away from the microscope* nozomi: *examining* ah, i see.... Victor: "If we isolate those particles, it may clue us in on what it is that separates Flame Beings from other humans..." nozomi: *she nods* Victor: "Here, let me increase the magnification..." *his hand passes over hers...* nozomi: o/////o ah... -elsewhere- Emine: *in overalls, with paint along his hands and face* "...I finished re-painting. The fence is now all one color and with no words on it." Tool: ^^ saki: good job. Emine: "Thank you. However, I still need to do a bad deed..." mono: TT_TT *covered in white paint* Emine: "And done." Tool: D:< -elsewhere- Kid: *reading through history books* stocking: *reviewing notes* Kid: *finishing writing a note* "May I help you with studying?" stocking: if you want to, though i dont know how much you know about this. ^^; Kid: "Maybe we can make some flash cards?" stocking: sounds good. Kid: *smiles* "Divide the notes, each of us write a few flash cards each?" stocking: sure. -elsewhere- Benimaru: "Kohana." fang-hua: hmm? yeah commander? Benimaru: "How has your day been?" fang-hua: doing well, sir. Benimaru: "That is good. I wanted to see whether you would be interested in joining Kirei and me for dinner." fang-hua: would you be alright? i wouldnt want to impose... Benimaru: "Not at all. We thought it would be a good way to catch up and decompress after the last few weeks. We may have Kabuki, Konro, and Tsukiyo as well, and Reimi." fang-hua: ah, well, in that case i guess it wouldnt be too much of a problem. Benimaru: *nods* "We were thinking this weekend." fang-hua: alright then. -elsewhere- Yohei: *rubs Chie's back* chie: ^w^~<3 Yohei: "Feel okay?" chie: yeah. Yohei: "That's good..." *hug* "Know what I did today?" chie: what? Yohei: "I improved the home security system, with a few more baby safe-guards." chie: *she smiles* that's great! Yohei: "Thanks...Just glad we got something in place for security." *holds her hand* "Anything you want to do tomorrow?" -elsewhere- Jacqueline: "Ready for bed?" kim: yep. Jacqueline: *nods, slides under the sheets of her bed* "Well...I hope you get some good sleep." -elsewhere- Medusa: "Aren't you just growing up fast..." neian: guu! ^o^ Medusa: *opens a book, starts reading...* "What animal is that, Neian?" *points to a drawing* neian:... sss... Medusa: "Yes, a snake. And a snake goes...'ssss'..." neian: ^^ Medusa: *points to a dog* "And what is that animal?" neian: bwuf! bwuf! Medusa: "Yes--a doggie! 'Woof woof!'" neian: hehe! Medusa: *kisses her forehead* "So smart." *flips the page, showing a lion* "Is that a kitty?" -elsewhere- Mr. Tsubaki: "Anything you need before bedtime?" -elsewhere- Victor: *asleep in lab* nozomi:....*puts a blanket over him*.... *smiles* Victor: "Zzz..." *smiles, feeling warmer under the blanket* nozomi: ^///^ Victor: *continues sleeping...* -elsewhere- Black Star: "Ready for bed?" tsubaki: *she nods* Black Star: *slides into bed beside her* "...I love you." tsubaki: *smiles* i love you too... Black Star: *smiles* "Sleep well..." *turns off the light, holds her hand* -elsewhere- Shamrock: "Himawari? Are you okay?" himawari:......tired..... Shamrock: *nods* "Want some warm milk?" himawari:....yes.... Shamrock: *heats up some milk* "...Will you be sleeping in your room tonight?" himawari:....could i......stay with you....you're....warm.... Shamrock: "..." *nods* "Of course. You are always welcome." himawari:....thank you.... Shamrock: *serves her the milk, smiles* "You're welcome." himawari:...... Shamrock: "...Is the bed comfortable? Do you want a different pillow or sheets?" himawari:......i feel.....safer....with you..... Shamrock: *smiles* "It means a lot to hear that. I hope I'm not a nuisance--I may snore..." -elsewhere- Lawless: "I can't sleep..." licht: zzzz...... Lawless: *pout* ("I guess I don't get to have a song played for me while I try to sleep...I'll go drain the lizard.") *gets up to go to the bathroom* -elsewhere- Hibana: "Mmm..." *small kiss on Gabriella's cheek* gabriella: ^///^ Hibana: *hugs her, patting her hands along her hips* "You have such a great figure." gabriella: o////o Hibana: *small laugh* "What? Am I wrong? You're beautiful." -elsewhere- Joker: *flipping through his phone* "...No updates." scarlet: was this really a good idea? Joker: "??? Sending in Victor? Yeah, why not? He gets us info on the 8th's Adora Burst..." scarlet:....right...... ['GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER!' "her adora burst....i want to see it...."] Joker: "What, you had a better idea? How else do we convince Shinra?" scarlet:..... -elsewhere- Sakuya: *cuddle* naho: ^w^ Sakuya: *smooch* "Comfy?" naho: *she nods* Sakuya: "That's good." *leans his chin along her shoulder* naho: hehe~ ^^ Sakuya: *his arms wrap around her waist* "So huggable." naho: *nuzzle* U///w///U Sakuya: *hums lightly, as he rests his hands over her belly, holds her close* -elsewhere- himawari: *asleep* Shamrock: *watching her sleep...* ("She is peaceful now...I hope that lasts...We never talked as much when young master first brought her in...") himawari: zzzz..... Shamrock: "..." ("She didn't deserve this. No one does...Was I...ever this awful?") himawari: ..... *shifting in her sleep* Shamrock: "???" *eases his breathing so not to wake her* himawari:...... Shamrock: "..." *shifts the sheets over her* himawari:...*soft smile* Shamrock: *smiles* "Sleep well..." -morning- Kid: *kitten yawn* stocking: zzzz.... Kid: *smiles...smooch* stocking: =w= Kid: "Time to begin your day, Angel." stocking: *yawns* Kid: "Didn't sleep well?" stocking: i slept pretty good.... Kid: "That's good...Will you be studying at True Cross today?" stocking: is it the weekend? Kid: *nods* -elsewhere- Konro: "What would you like for Commander's dinner, Kabuki?" kabuki: perhaps some okonomiyaki? Konro: "Oh, good choice!" *grabs a bottle of sake* "Housewarming gift." kabuki: ah. Konro: "I'm happy for him and the sister. After that attack, glad he is moving forward." kabuki: indeed. who knows, maybe soon we'll be seeing the next generation of asakusa's leaders. Konro: "Ha ha! Please, you're going to make me feel even older." kabuki: hehe. Konro: "So, we'll be heading to their dinner tonight...Anything else to bring?" -elsewhere- Lawless: >w< *in bed...cuddled against--* licht: zzzzzz...... Lawless: *nudge nudge* licht: nngmhph.... Lawless: "Mmm...So huggable." licht: *muttering* cuz. im.....zz...an angel...zzz.... Lawless: "And what nice abs you have..." licht: *opens his eyes* nnnh...? Lawless: owo;;;; "...Morning." -he got wrecked. hard- Lawless: *twitching...his body embedded into the wall* "Ouchie." -elsewhere- Victor: *yawn, looks up* "Huh? I'm still in the lab?" nozomi: good morning. Victor: "..." *smile, yawn* "Hey." *stretches* "Ha. I always fall asleep in the lab. Glad you are here, bright and early." nozomi: t-thank you... .////. Victor: *stretches, then sniffs* "Ugh...I was at this so long, I need to shower first." *hands her his notebook* "You mind reviewing my notes while I get cleaned up?" nozomi: ah! right.... Victor: "Thanks." *smiles, winks, heads towards the bathrooms* nozomi:.... .////.;; Arthur: *already in the showers* Victor: *goes into the locker room, undresses, puts clothes into his cubby...enters the showers* "Mornin', Boyle!" Arthur: -____-;;; "Morning." Victor: *heads to stall, starts showering* -elsewhere- Shamrock: "Time to wake up..." himawari: nnh? *opens her eyes* Shamrock: "Hey. Ready to start the day?" -later- Higan: "Hey, Himawari, Sham." lavender: mornin' himawari:....*nods* Shamrock: *sniff sniff* "...What's burning?" Belkia: *holds up burnt toast...and his hair is on fire* "I don't know what I did wrong..." otogiri: *getting the fire extinguisher* Black Star: "Okay, new rule: Belkia never gets to cook again--" Belkia: D: Black Star: "Sham, get to work." Sham: "Hmph...Himawari, care to help me with toast?" -later- Sakuya: "All set for going out?" naho: yep. lilac:...*nods* Sakuya: *smiles* "Then let's get going. Can't wait to start..." -elsewhere- Emine: *stares at Chie* "Does your child require anything? I could eliminate any obstacles in your way." -elsewhere- Tsukiyo: "Get lots of desserts! We'll need them for dinner!" Tsukiyo: *picks up a Japanese cheesecake* "Yummy~" -elsewhere- Akitaru: *looking through his records* "Where was that workshop again...?" shinra: workshop? Akitaru: "Ah, Shinra! I ever tell you about Vulcan?" shinra: what, from star trek? Akitaru: "Ha ha ha! No, Vulcan is an amazing expert at analyzing Flame Beings, known as the God of the Forge." shinra: oh? tamaki: and you're telling us this, becauuuuse? Akitaru: "Unfortunately--" Hibana: *pops up behind Shinra* "Unfortunately, Vulcan does not take well to people coming to them with offers to join their brigades. Haijima has tried for a long time..." shinra: GAH! iris: when did she-? Hibana: *holds up a key* "I made my own to let myself in~" shinra:.....that's a comforting thought. Hibana: ^^ Akitaru: -_____-; "In any case, since Vulcan is around your age, I thought maybe having you all visit them may convince them to work with the 8th." shinra: seriously, they're that young? Hibana: "Hard to tell, given how secretive Vulcan is. If you're going to see them, you'll need to ditch the brigade outfits and look like regular civilians, to better ingratiate yourself." shinra: ah, well we do have casual clothes. Arthur: *looks at Iris* iris:....what? Arthur: "You can't go out in your habit." iris: i knew that... ^^; Akitaru: "I'll look up Vulcan's workshop address. You all get ready for the meeting when it happens." shinra: right..... *still thinking about what he learned about the amaterasu incident* ...... Victor: *pops up behind Shinra* "Should I go with them to see Vulcan?" shinra: GAAAAH!! nozomi: ^^; Akitaru: "No, for right now, we need you to keep researching the Flame Humans' remains for any leads on what is causing the transformations." Victor: *nods, then looks at Shinra* "Something on your mind?" shinra: nothing just....its nothing... Akitaru: "??? You sure, son?" shinra:...yeah... Victor: (thinking: "Joker told me to keep an eye on him...") -elsewhere- Shamrock: "Anything you want to do, Himawari? Play a game? Go for a walk?" himawari: *reading something from off the bookshelf* Shamrock: "Ah. Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt your reading..." himawari:...its...ok... Shamrock: "...What are you reading?" -it seems to be some kind of book on old legends- Shamrock: "Ah. Which legend are you looking at?" -it seems to be related to kitsunes- Shamrock: "..." *sad look* "...You are thinking about Tsubaki?" himawari:...? Shamrock: "Kitsune kind of remind me of Tsubaki's animal form." himawari:....you....really...like him....dont you? Shamrock: x\\\^;;; "I...am having to make my peace with that. He likes someone else..." himawari:......oh... Shamrock: *sigh* "It's rough. I have been devoted to him for so long. But I also have to know what he feels, and I want to respect that." himawari:...... Shamrock: "...So, all I can do is accept how things are, and move forward." himawari:......*nod* Shamrock: *smiles* "...Thank you for letting me get that off my chest." himawari:.... Shamrock: "..." *pats her shoulder* -elsewhere- Shotaro: *vacuuming under the couch...using Bone of the Gorilla to get enough strength to lift the couch up with one hand...while people are already seated on the couch* mono:...... -_-; Emine: *enters the room...looks underneath the couch...pulls back a spring on the couch, right underneath Mono's seat...* mono: nyah! Emine: "Bad deed complete..." *continues walking back to his room* mono: *growling* Shotaro: ^^;; "Um...I finished vacuuming, so I'll just set the couch down now..." -elsewhere- Sakuya: *holding up his phone* "Lilac, stand a bit closer to Naho." lilac: *scoot scoot* Sakuya: "That's good...Say cheese!" -click- Sakuya: "Hey, that looks great! See?" *shows his phone* naho: nice! lilac:...*faint smile* Sakuya: "You both look great in your outfits, too." naho: you too, sakkun~ ^^ Sakuya: ^^ *smooch* naho: ^///^ Sakuya: "Let's try underneath the tree." -elsewhere- Benimaru: *preparing for dinner* "Hmm...May need more salt." -elsewhere- Kid: "Feel okay?" stocking: mmhmm... Kid: *smiles, hugs* stocking: maybe after all this testing is over, we can take a vacation, just the two of us? Kid: "I would like that." *kiss on her cheek* "A reward for getting through the tests." stocking: hehe~<3 Kid: *smooch* stocking: U////U Kid: "Where should we vacation?" stocking: maybe a nice little inn by the countryside? Kid: "Oh, that would be nice! Get to see the flowers blooming..." stocking: ^^ Kid: "And wonderful breakfasts at the inn...and picnics." stocking: *nuzzle* Kid: *nuzzles, holds her* "That would be perfect...because you would be there." stocking: *smiles* Kid: "I love you." stocking: hehe~ Kid: *rests his forehead lightly against hers* stocking: U///U Kid: *his hand rests along her back, lightly rubbing* stocking: hehe~ Kid: "Tickles a bit?" *kisses her other cheek lightly* stocking: a bit~.....your hands feel nice though~ Kid: *smiles* "So do yours...so strong and precise..." stocking: *smirks and grabs his rear* Kid: o\\\\\\o "Oh...So, you're going to do that, huh?" *puts his hands on her bottom* stocking: ooh~<3 Kid: *squeeze squeeze* "Oh...So nice." stocking: *soft moans* Kid: "You like that..." *massages her cheeks* stocking: y-yes~ >///< Kid: *he pushes her from behind towards him, pressing her against him* stocking: ah... Kid: *his hand slides up under her dress, touching her bottom* stocking: ah~ k-kiddo~! Kid: *smirks, as his mouth reaches her* stocking: mmmn~<3 Kid: *he continues to hold her bottom, his fingers sliding under her panties and pulling them down* -elsewhere- Benimaru: "Welcome to dinner." fang-hua: thanks for inviting us all. kirei: ^^ fang-hua: (thinking: this is actually the first time i was ever at the commander's house. the estate is rather nice.) Konro: "Yes, thank you." *offers bottle to Kirei and Benimaru* Tsukiyo: *looking around* "Fancy home, Commander." Benimaru: *nods* fang-hua: *looking around* Tsukiyo: *looks around as well...including at a small painting of a few people who look like Benimaru* kabuki: ah, i take it that's you in your younger days, commander? Benimaru: "??? ...Yes. When I was tiny." -elsewhere- Johannes: "Come on in! I can show you what I did to Mikuni's doll!" customer: eh.... O_O; Johannes: "See?" *holds up the doll--which now has elephant ears and a nose* "I combined his Ella doll with an elephant! An Ella-phant! Eh? Eh?" customer: right..haha....ha....*backing away* metsu: doctor, stop harrassing the customers. Johannes: *pout* "I'm not harassing. I am just creative at attracting new customers." -elsewhere- *A cell phone rings* Shamrock: "??? Tsubaki? I think you have a phone call." tsubaki: *she answers* yes? this is tsubaki speaking. Touma: "Hello, Ms. Nakatsukasa." tsubaki: *her heart practically dropped to her stomach* !!! Touma: "It's been awhile. How are you?" tsubaki:.......what do you want? Touma: "Straight to the point, huh? Sorry, I guess you have been busy tending to various tasks...I just wanted to see how you are managing. I am sure your house feels like it gets more crowded all the time." tsubaki:..... Touma: "Tell me, are all of your visitors behaving themselves?" tsubaki:....my family has been on good behavior, yes. Touma: "...Happy to hear that about your 'family'...I hope you are taking care of yourself as well. I would hate for something to happen. I could always recommend a doctor. Or a nurse." tsubaki:.....what are you implying? *shaking, but keeping calm* Touma: "I never imply, Ms. Nakatsukasa. You sound a bit under the weather, and I am simply asking whether I may recommend someone to you. I know medical professionals everywhere, from Death City all the way to...Asakusa." tsubaki: !!! ......... Shamrock: *watching, looking worried* Touma: "If you ever require my assistance, please know C3 is always near." tsubaki:..... Touma: "Well, I have a meeting--interviewing new applicants for the position of my personal assistant. And I'm sure you are busy as well tending to your 'family.' I will let you go. Goodbye, Ms. Nakatsukasa." tsubaki:....*she hangs up*......*shivering* Shamrock: "Tsubaki...Wh-What happened?" -she explains what happened- lavender: that....sack of SHIT! Higan: *practically growling* Belkia: *oddly serious-looking* Shamrock: *shivering* otogiri:.... himawari:.....this is....my fault....mr touma's angry....because i ran away.....*trembling* tsubaki: himawari...its ok, this isnt your fault at all. Shamrock: *holds Himawari's hand* "He is angry...because he is a pathetic creature. This has nothing to do with you: you did nothing wrong." tsubaki: ..... otogiri: on the positives, yumikage and junichiro are our allies, as are those three girls, right? lavender: that is true. Higan: "But if Touma is doing an end-run around them to directly threaten Tsubaki over the phone? And getting a new personal assistant? That all sounds bad." tsubaki:..... otogiri: tsubaki....it's going to be ok. Belkia: *nods* "We're not going to let that weenie get to any of us." -elsewhere- Jun: "??? What is Touma up to?" yumikage: i dunno...but i dont trust him for a moment... mitsuba: 'new assistant'....i have a bad feeling about this. hyakuya: no kidding.... Jun: "Who is he even interviewing?" shinoa: no way of telling. tsurugi: even i dont know. 83 -elsewhere- Kuro: *curled up in Mahiru's lap* mahiru: ....*small smile* tetsu: *doing push-ups* Hugh: "93, 94, 95..." kaori: *smile* it certainly is peaceful nowadays.... uzuki: no kidding... Kuro: *yawn* "Hope it stays peaceful a bit longer..." mahiru: spring's going to be here before we know it... Kuro: "Good. I was getting tired of the cold." Hugh: "121, 122..." -elsewhere- Mr. Tsubaki: *playing ball with the twins* hinata: over here! over here! reimi: ^^ Mr. Tsubaki: *kicks to Hinata* "Coming your way!" -elsewhere- Kid: "Ah~" stocking: *panting* Kid: *small pant...he smiles, as he looks up and down her* "You're beautiful." stocking: you're not too bad on the eyes either~ *kiss* Kid: ^\\\^ "That means so much, coming from you..." *kiss* stocking: aww. Kid: *holds her* "Mmmm...So huggable and warm...and hot." stocking: ^///^ Kid: *pats her side* "You are the sexiest person I have ever known..." stocking: as are you~ Kid: *snuggles* "I can't wait for that vacation..." -elsewhere- Tsukiyo: "Mmm...Sister, you are a great cook!" reimi: thanks. ^^ Benimaru: *small pout* "I helped..." Konro: *trying to hold back a laugh* reimi: ^^; Benimaru: *clears throat* "Kohana, anything to drink?" -elsewhere- Black Star: *hugs Tsubaki* tsubaki: thanks...i needed that today.... Black Star: *nods* "Hey. You're going to be fine. You have an entire household full of vampires, you got me, and most importantly, you're strong." tsubaki:...*she smiles* Black Star: *holds her, smiles* "See? That's a happy smile." -elsewhere- Victor: *reading through a history book* nozomi:....oh, that's the amaterasu incident, right? i think i remember my father mentioning it... Victor: "Oh--you're familiar with it?" *looking at photographs of the documented destruction* "It was...destructive." nozomi: not really, just with what i've read in books. Victor: *points to the photo* "You ever hear the mythology about how this world came into being? What created it?" nozomi: i've heard a lot of stories, but there's so many interpretations to it... Victor: "Yeah...It has to do with those interpretations around the Adora Burst--and how it created this world...and can destroy it..." nozomi:.... Victor: "The Burst caused this..." *taps on the photograph* "...and as a scientist, I want to know more--so that something can be done with it, to benefit humanity." nozomi: ....*she nods* right... -the photo is of a large crater on the outskirts of tokyo; the amaterasu crater- Victor: *sighs* "I don't want to see that destruction again. And with some Flame Humans having that purified flame of the Adora Burst...I wanted to work here at the 8th to see it firsthand." shinra:....... Victor: *senses Shinra, but keeps talking* "Nozomi, have you ever been to the Crater?" nozomi: not personally, but my father has. *showing a photograph of toshiaki and a woman at the crater. the woman is giving him the bunny ears* Victor: *small snort laugh* "That's...Your dad? And...?" nozomi: a family friend, dr itou. she's also one of my mentors. Victor: "Oh! She also researches Flame Humans?" nozomi: to some extent. she also works with machines as well. she once built a flame powered mech suit. Victor: *shiny eyes* "Really?" nozomi: *she nods* Victor: "Neat...She work with any brigade?" nozomi: not to my knowledge. no. Victor: "Hmm...Hope I can talk with her at some point. Thanks for telling me about her." ^^ -elsewhere- Mr. Tsubaki: "It's getting late. Time for you two to head on home to bed." hikage: awww. hinata: that's lame. -n- Mr. Tsubaki: "The earlier you get to bed, the earlier you'll be up for cupcakes and fruit for breakfast~" hinata: *already asleep* hikage: *also heading to sleep* Mr. Tsubaki: *smiles, whispers to Reimi* "That was fast..." reimi: ^^; you know how kids can be. Mr. Tsubaki: "...I forget sometimes..." *thinks of Sakuya, Lilac, his own childhood...* -elsewhere- Konro: *pours a bit of sake out* "That was a delicious meal. Thank you for hosting us." Benimaru: *nods* -elsewhere- Tool: "Io's sleeping soundly." saki: *she smiles* Tool: "...Want some tea?" saki: i'd like that. Tool: *sets to work* "How was Io at daycare? What did the babysitters there say?" saki: she's behaving, but keeps to herself a lot. Tool: "Hmm...Maybe introverted?" saki: maybe... Tool: "...What were you like as a kid, Saki?" saki: me? i was a bit rambunctious. ^^; Tool: "Ha ha...Raised heck around the house with Chie?" saki: i guess she kinda helped me cool down a lot... Tool: *smiles* "That's it is with you, one who is calm..." *stares at her* "...one who is passionate." saki: ? Tool: "I admire how you persist, how confident you are." saki: *soft smile* aww. Tool: *smile...puts out his hand* saki: *small smooch* ^w^ Tool: ^\\\\^ "Heh..." chie: awww. Tool: o\\\\\o "...You've been there the entire time, haven't you?" chie: dont mind me~ saki: oh my, i didnt think my sister was a vouyer. for shame. chie: s-SAKI! >////< saki: haha! Tool: *snort laugh* chie: -n- -elsewhere- Arthur: *laughing* tamaki: what's so funny? Arthur: "If you ever want a laugh--" *giggle* "--ask Iris about various animals. Like ask her what she thinks an elephant looks like..." tamaki: ??? iris: .~. Arthur: "And Shinra didn't know what a bull looked like..." shinra: that's not true! i've seen bulls before! >3< Arthur: "Oh, really? Then why did you need to look it up online?" shinra: it's been a while since i was on a farm. Arthur: "??? You were actually on a farm? Doing what?" shinra: it was back when i was just a kid. my mom took sho and i to a farmers market. Arthur: "Ah. So, you saw the animals and picked up produce?" shinra: yeah, it was a lot of fun. iris: i've never actually been to a farm before.. Arthur: "Hmm...Neither have I. Have you heard of Mutton Busting? I have long wanted to tame one of those wild beasts." shinra: not really. -elsewhere- Touma: *reviewing his applications* "Excellent..." -outside the office- girl in school uniform: this is so dumb, why are we being dragged into this? random person: say, wasnt your sister in C3? school girl: yeah she was, why do you ask? *Touma exits* Touma: "Hello." -the applicants look up at him- girl: ..... Touma: "I am happy to have you here for today's interviews. Sorry for the wait. I am Taishi Touma, vice manager." -one girl raises her hand- girl 2: will we be doing an oral test, or is this a written test? Touma: "Written first, then one-on-one interviews." girl 2: do we have to bring our own stationary? i left mine at home. Touma: "I can provide stationery." *starts walking from his office to an empty room, gesturing for them to follow* -the applicants follow behind him- girl 1:....... *There are numerous school desks with chairs, and a chalkboard at the front* Touma: "Have a seat." *he hands each of them the test and a pencil* girl: what is this, school? -_-; Touma: *a bit too close to her* "We are simply making sure you got through school--and to push you towards adulthood." girl: ....... *The questions are largely about biology, mathematics, and problem-solving* -the test goes on until it concludes- Touma: *nods* "Give me a few minutes to grade these. Drinks and snacks are in the next room..." *exits for another room* -later- girl:.... Touma: *re-enters, points at the girl* "Let's begin the interview. Right this way..." girl:....*she follows* *Inside is a table, two chairs, and a lamp* girl:..... Touma: "Have a seat. I look forward to talking with you, Miss..." girl:....natsuna kanemoto. Touma: *smiles* "That is a unique name." natsuna: is it really? Touma: *nods* "It stands out. Well, let's get started with the interview. How far along are you in your education?" natsuna: i'm a 2nd year in junior high. Touma: "Oh, really? What would you say is your best subject?" natsuna: i guess writing? Touma: "That is a strong skill. Communication is key here, in order to best follow orders and to follow through on what I ask be communicated to my colleagues. Now, for the opposite question: what do you do when you have a bad subject in school, and can you give an example for how you overcome that problem?" -elsewhere- Benimaru: *smiles at Kirei* "Good dinner?" kirei: *she smiles* thank you, benimaru. Benimaru: *holds her hand* "...Thank you." *small kiss* kirei: ^///^ Benimaru: "...Did you..." kirei: hmm? Benimaru: "...want to stay over?" kirei: oh! if its not a problem with you... Benimaru: *shakes his head* "...I'm nervous. But it's not a problem." -elsewhere- Victor: *yawn* "Well, I'm turning in..." nozomi: good night then. Victor: "Good night. Pleasant dreams..." nozomi: r-right.... ./////. Victor: "..." *waves* nozomi: *meek wave* o/////o Victor: .\\\\. *turns and quickly leaves* tamaki: *glaaaaaaaaaaaare* Victor: "!!! ...Hello, Tamaki." tamaki: *glint* im watching you.... Victor: "...Okay." *smile* "I'll let you in on a little secret..." tamaki: what...? Victor: *smirks, leans in, towering over her* "I watch everyone--as a good scientist must~" tamaki: O____O;; Victor: *smiles* "So just know that's what I do. Good night." tamaki:...if you try anything to her, you're as good as dead, punk! Victor: *smiles* "What ever makes you think I would? I have no intention of hurting Nozomi...and it's not really up to you what she thinks or wants, now is it?" tamaki:...... Victor: "And I would expect her friend to be worried about someone new coming here. So, I'll focus on my research, and you focus on Nozomi...Deal?" tamaki:...... -elsewhere- Johannes: *doodling* metsu: *finishing up work for the day* Mikuni: *playing with dolls* Jeje: *changing a light bulb...* Johannes: "I DREW A VAMPIRE!" *holds up his doodle* metsu: an excellent job. we'll put it up on the fridge. Johannes: *happy hand-clap* "Yay!" Jeje: "..." *holds up an apple magnet for the fridge* -elsewhere- Shamrock: *lies down* -knock- Shamrock: *sits up, answers the door* otogiri: belkia got his hand stuck in the coffee pot. im taking him to the ER. again. Shamrock: x_-;;;;; "...Okay. Don't let him bite people." otogiri: understood. Shamrock: "How long you think it'll be this time?" otogiri: i'll give the estimate of 7 minutes the fastest. Shamrock: *nods* "I'll hold down the fort." -later- Belkia: -3- "Stupid coffee pot is out to get me..." otogiri: *sweatdrop* Belkia: *glares at the coffe pot, which now has a frowny face in perspiration on it* "I'M WATCHING YOU!" ???: bel....ki...a..? -ayami is laying in the hospital bed next to his- Belkia: o_______O *whispers* "Heeeeeeeeelp..." ayami:...am i....dreaming...? *she's covered in bandages* i did....something bad.... Belkia: "...Dude...You didn't..." otogiri:..... Belkia: "Oh, God...Why did you do that?" ayami: do you.....hate me now? *her eyes seem lifeless* Belkia: ._o *looks at Otogiri* otogiri:.....its ok. Belkia: "...No, I don't hate you...I'm sorry..." ayami: im sorry that...i...ever burdened you.... Belkia: "...You just scared me, that's all. I'm around a lot of scary people." *points at Otogiri* "You should see what Otogiri does when I get this coffee pot stuck on my hand." otogiri:... -_-; Belkia: "So, um...no hard feelings, Ayami?" ayami:.....it's....my own fault.... Belkia: "Hey...It isn't...It's no one's fault. Just...got to get past this. Make it disappear." ayami: *gets up* otogiri: you just sit down...dont...even think about it.... Belkia: ._. "...What exactly was she thinking?" ayami:...... Belkia: "Um...Ayami? What are you doing?" ayami:.... *staring at the ceiling, laying back down* Belkia: "???" -elsewhere- Shamrock: *looking at his bed* himawari: zzzz..... Shamrock: "..." *defeated smile...crawls into bed carefully beside her* himawari:....*shivers* Shamrock: "..." *pulls the sheets over her...small hug* himawari:....*slight nestle against his chest* Shamrock: *holds her, as he yawns* lavender: cute. Higan: *nods* Shamrock: x_-; *tries to fall asleep...* -early morning- Benimaru: *turns* kirei: zzz.... Benimaru: "..." *smile, tries to leave the bed without waking her...* -elsewhere- lavender: zzzzz..... Higan: *cuddling* -in another room- naho: zzzzz.... Sakuya: "..." *blows lightly at her ear* naho: >////< Sakuya: *whispers* "Time for beautiful young women to wake up..." *small nibble on her ear* naho: s-sakkun! >///O Sakuya: *rubs her arm a bit, hugging her* -elsewhere- Kid: "Zzz..." stocking: zzzzzzzzzzz *KNOCK KNOCK* stocking: neh? w-whu-wha? Kid: *snore* Patty: *from behind the door* "You two up yet?" stocking: im up.. *rubs eyes* Patty: "Well, we got a surprise for breakfast--so hurry!" stocking: ok. kiddo~ wakey wakey~ Kid: "H-Huh?" *looks up* stocking: it's morning~ Kid: *yawn* "So it is...and what a beautiful morning." stocking: hehe~ Kid: *stretches...gets out of bed and takes his robe* -and so- Gopher: "Surprise!" *holds up a box* "I brought donuts!" Kid: "...This is the surprise?" Gopher: :< kirika: mornin' Gopher: *shiny eyes* "Good morning!" Patty: *already eating a donut* -later- Kid: "Plans for today?" stocking: maybe i could do more studying. Kid: *nods* "Sounds like a plan. Need any help?" stocking: i think i'm gonna study over at the cram school, try making friends. Kid: "That will be good. See you this evening for dinner?" stocking: *she nods* Kid: *smiles, kisses her cheek* "Good luck." stocking: ^///^ Kid: "I'll finish some of my own studies with Father today." stocking: right. Kid: *nods, smiles* "Until then..." -later- Kid: "And this file, Father? Has that mission been completed?" lord death: yep. that puts soul at needing only one more soul plus a rogue witch... Kid: "Amazing...Another Death Scythe." lord death: indeed... Kid: "Which witches are on your Death List?" -elsewhere- Shamrock: *yawn* himawari: zzzz..... Shamrock: "???" *looks at the clock* -10:14 AM- Shamrock: "Oh dear...I overslept." *gets out of bed* "...Himawari?" himawari:...hmmn? Shamrock: "It's after 10. Time to wake up." himawari:...*getting up* Shamrock: "Sleep okay?" himawari:....*nods* Shamrock: "That's good. Let's see whether someone else made breakfast--and whether Otogiri and Belkia are back." -and so- otogiri: good morning. naho: how did it go? Belkia: "...Well, my hand is now sans coffee pot...but..." naho: hmm? Belkia: "...I ran into that girl who was following me." naho: oh. Belkia: "She...looked pretty bad. Hospitalized." naho: !!! Belkia: "I felt bad--I didn't mean to cause that for her." naho:...... Belkia: "Naho, what would you do?" naho: me? o.o~? Belkia: *nods* "Yeah. I don't know what to do with someone who was...well, struggling like this. I could use some advice." naho: hmmm...maybe a fruit basket? Belkia: "I guess that's a start. Will she misinterpret that, though?" naho:...*shrug* Belkia: *sigh* "Okay, thanks. I'll get to work on the fruits basket--" *looks down...lifts his foot...and the coffee pot is on his foot* "...MY ONE TRUE ENEMY..." otogiri:... -_-; Sakuya: "...Maybe try soap and water this time, rather than another ER bill." naho: or try turning into a doll and shimmy your foot out! Belkia: ._. "...Oh." *POOF* *the coffee pot rests on the floor, with Belkia in doll form inside it* naho: *picks it up and pulls the doll out* TA-DAH~! Belkia: "Magic!" Sakuya: *claps his hands* lilac: wow... naho: hehe~ ^^ *peace sign* Belkia: "I guess I'll be putting on more magic shows to pay the ER bill." ^^; naho: megane-pire~! Belkia: -_____-;;;; "...Ouch." naho:...~? owo Belkia: "That pun..." naho: what? it's cute! >n< Sakuya: "I thought it was." *smiles* Belkia: "Look, I'll handle the cute jokes here!" -elsewhere- stocking: *checking the map* lets see....hmmm... ???: "Hello." stocking: hmm? *she looks up* ya? Shima: "Yo!" stocking: hey. you're in...rin's class, right? Shima: *nods* "Renzo Shima, at your service~" stocking: nice to meet you then shima. Shima: "Likewise! If you ever need any help around campus, let me know--I know everything, every place, and everyone around here!" stocking: i'll keep that in mind.....1106....1106...hmm... Shima: "Ah, looking for Room 1106? Cool, cool..." stocking: let's see...ah! here we go! Shima: "??? You have a class there? Which is it?" stocking: i'm actually doing some cramming to become a student teacher, more or less. ^^' Shima: "Ooo, smart. But be careful in there--the corner of the ceiling leaks." stocking: noted. Shima: "Who teaches this class?" stocking: isnt this the freshman class? Shima: *nods* "Maybe Yukio?" stocking: that's good. *she smiles* Yukio: "Oh, Stocking. Welcome." stocking: hey. noriko: oh, you're....mr pheles' daughter, arent you? Yukio: "Okay, let's get started...Have a seat next to Noriko, Stocking." stocking: right! *she sits down* Yukio: "We begin today's lesson looking at taming demons in the category of Galatea..." *writing on the chalkboard* stocking:.... (thinking: i have no idea what that means. -_-; ) Yukio: "This is forcing a demon into an inanimate object." stocking: oh. like a possessed doll? Yukio: "Yes, although the process of forcing a demon into an inanimate object can make that object gain movement and abilities..." *opens a small chest...and a walking desk lamp pops out* noriko: ah! Lamp-Chan: *blinks light on and off...as it dances across the desk* Yukio: "This one is rather well trained. Other Galatea are less so. Imagine a demon possessing an entire building...and bringing it down upon you." stocking: o_o; (thinking: then honekoneko's also....) Yukio: "Even something innocuous like a doll could be formidable, depending on the form of taming completed. After all, the doll could just house the demon, or the demon could transform the doll..." stocking: *awkward sweat* izumo: *raises hand* Yukio: "Yes, Izumo?" izumo: it's because of that reason that games such as 'hitori kakurenbo' are ill advised, right? Yukio: *nods* "The results can be catastrophic." stocking:.... Yukio: "You will be testing your skills with Galatea in a situation similar to Hitori Kakurenbo, but it will be supervised." *notices Stocking* "Something wrong?" stocking: nothing, just thinking... Yukio: "Well, let's move onto another set of demons: Elements." *he draws a flame, a water droplet, a tornado, rocks, and some crudely drawn fifth element* stocking: the 5th one is metal, right? shiemi: i thought it was grass? izumo: of course you would -_-; shiemi: ^^; Yukio: "These elements are in harmony: each is stronger than another, but weaker than another." -later- Yukio: "Let me return your tests to you...Shiemi, you still need to use actual names for plants, not your pet-names for them." shiemi: ^^; Yukio: "Good work, Izumo, but you confused two of the Galatea versions." izumo: ._.
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chasingdowntruth-blog · 8 years ago
Text
You never know
You never know what your going to be grateful for sometimes. I went on a date on sunday,things were going well and we were really clicking. I found myself irresistibly attracted to him and somehow holding back still. This is a bit abnormal for me when I already know that someone likes me. He had clearly verbalized that he did.I felt like I wanted to continue our date from just having coffee, and so I asked him if he would like to see a movie. He said he had something that would take a half hour to an hour and then he would be back. He picked me up at a park where I had been practicing singing for about 3 hours. Then we headed to the movies after stopping by the gas station for some coconut water, which I needed since I had gotten dehydrated. Now, this entry is not going to be what it seems. 
I noticed he was playing hard to get, and so was I, but I started to drop little hints and he held my hand through the movie, but didnt kiss me. I clearly liked him and I really wanted us to kiss, so I asked him if he wanted to go on a nature walk in this park I knew. He said sure, he just had to be back in american fork for a meeting in an hour. When we were to the park, he pulled out a gun. He asked, you arent afraid of guns are you? 
From that point forward, I truly believed that danger clicked in my mind and I began being as manipulative as I could possibly be. Internally ,I knew, because I had dealt with a lot of danger, I knew that the worst thing to do in this situation is exhibit fear. Here is what I did: Immediately I established with confidence that I did not have a fear of guns. Previously I had shown some vulnerability, and I corrected it with “ No, Ive dealt with gun situations before, so ironically that doesnt trigger me” ( I had mentioned that I had PTSD). Immediately upon walking through the park, I launched into a story about how Ive handled situations that most people look at me and wonder how Ive done it”. I established lack of fear and dominance. Then ,I played coy and we had our first kiss. At the time, my brain had been keeping me fooled so that I could show emotion and be believed. It was very hard to feel that I was acting, a small part of me felt it, but most of that was on hold because of the delicacy of the situation. He carried the gun on his belt out in the open, just to a park, in a good part of town. This seemed very unwarranted. My next huge red flag was, when we got back into the car. We had been talking about media, I have a feeling I brought this up on purpose. I was fishing for more info. One tangent led to another and he told me that its wierd but he can watch videos that are banned of Auschwitz and torture and it doesnt phase him. My very last test was a whole day long. I started being provocative. I wanted to see how he would react. My motives at the time were hidden to even me. Since I had noticed him be patient and I had been the victim of many different kinds of psychopaths (sociopaths, narcissists, etc) I wanted to see how he responded to me being willing and eager. For patient psychopaths( or sociopaths) this is boring, and they lose interest almost instantly. 
Well people. He lost interest. It was confirmed to me the morning after what I had done, why I had done it, and for the times that day that I had needed to experience fear and didnt , it all came flooding in. Right this moment I am still so nauseous and wide eyed with terror. Thats why Im writing, to get this out, to remind myself of my capabilities, and to remind myself to be less trusting again.
So today, I am eternally grateful for the oddest thing
The ability to manipulate and act in a dangerous and delicate situation.
Usually, it is very bad to be this way, but against predators, it is your most POWERFUL weapon and your best chance at surviving. 
I always wondered why I was afraid of acting. I knew my fear was founded in worry about losing myself and forgetting that I was acting and forgetting how to return to myself... I just...didnt realize that it was founded in reality.
Im having a hard time switching back to who I really am. but, then again, im still processing emotions that I could not experience in those moments that I had to be manipulative for my safety.
So, Im going to cut myself some slack and just get through today the best I can 
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