#but ill keep y'all posted

[lostnfounder]

[The following is a transcript of an audio interaction that took place between Ruth Shirbon and Chase Bonk.]

Ruth: Thanks for coming with me again, uhm. [She looks away.] I… It’s been a while since I’ve done this.

Chase: Oh, yeah, no problem man. [Slight pause.] Wait, but didn’t you do a stake-out, like... a few days ago??

Ruth: [Shifts uncomfortably.] Yeah, that’s… I meant it’s been a while since I’ve, uhm. Had someone hang around me for longer than about an hour. Regularly. This is a nice change of pace, recently.

Chase: [He furrows his brow.] That’s…

Ruth: [Quietly.] Yeah. 

[Pause detected. Time interval: 15 seconds.]

Chase: I mean, you did kind of…? Kidnap me…?

Ruth: [Snort.] Of course. [Slight pause.] Of... course, that’s the only way I could’ve… gotten someone to stick around.

Chase: I didn’t mean it like that.

Ruth: I know you didn’t. I just… [sigh.] It’s been years since I’ve had an actual friend. The last good one I had had to go back to the UK after his transfer thing was over.

Chase: Ohh, yeah. I know the feeling.

Ruth: [Suddenly sounds a bit curious.] Yeah?

Chase: ... I just kinda said that without thinking. I dunno.

Ruth: Oh.

[A pause, about six seconds.]

Chase: But maybe I do know. I... It's... My brain's all fuckin'... foggy, man.

Ruth: Yeeeeaaah, that's... not surprising.

Chase: Oh my god, don't bring me forgetting the mail for a week into this again-

Ruth: [Rustling as they raise their arms up defensively.] I didn't say it!

Chase: Uuuuggghhh, bro. This is what I get for trying to open up to you.

Ruth: What!!! No, no, you can- You can open up to me.

[A pause, about five seconds.]

Chase: ... I swear you just batted your eyelashes at me.

Ruth: WOW. I WOULD NEVER. OKAY. [Giggling.]

Chase: [Laughing.] Ohhh, my god. [He sighs, resuming a more serious tone.] But... It's like... when I go to think about my life before... streaming, it's... a blur.

Ruth: ... Streaming??

Chase: UHHHHH.

Ruth: What streaming?

Chase: Exactly! What streaming??? [Really, just, incredibly forced laughter.]

Ruth: Chase.

Chase: Uuuugh. Okay, fine. I... Have you ever heard of a guy called Slimecicle?

Ruth: Nah. Never been much of a... like, livestream viewer type of guy.

Chase: That... checks out.

Ruth: [Joking scoff.] What does that mean-

Chase: Lemme finish! Shh! [Quiet laughter.] But, ah. They had me... impersonate him. Uh. Take over for him. So I could... work weird hours because... demons don't really get... fatigued. The way humans do, I mean.

Ruth: By weird hours do you mean...

Chase: [Deep sigh.] All the fucking time, man, literally. I'd end one stream, and then- and then thirty fucking minutes later, 'Hey guys! It's me, Slimecicle, back with another goopy, gooey stream!!'

Ruth: Jesus.

Chase: I-I think I was their favorite. That's... I streamed the most, out of everyone there, I think. [More forced laughter, but it trails off.]

Ruth: That's awfu- Wait, there were others? How many others? Holy shit, are- are all livestreamers just demons?? Working for Showfall??

Chase: No.

Ruth: Oh.

Chase: Just the Twitch ones.

Ruth: Oh.

Chase: Uh, anyways, but. Yeah. Everything before that... is... nothing. That's the real reason I haven't been telling you anything.

Ruth: ... Thanks for trusting me with it, though, uhm. I know I haven't exactly been the most friendly to you.

Chase: What? No, no, you have.

Ruth: ... I kidnapped you.

Chase: Well, yeah, but. All things considered... Well, I could've left already if you made me want to, man.

Ruth: And get past my killer alert skills? Hah. Not likely.

Chase: Ruth. I'm a demon.

Ruth: ... Okay, yeah, true. You... got me there. [Slight rustling as she turns to look at him.] So you... want to stay?

Chase: [Puff of air being blown out.] Well, I'd rather my house wasn't literally right on Hell Incorporated's doorstep, but.

Ruth: [Snort.]

Chase: Yeah, man. I think I'm gonna stick around. [He smiled when he said this, I remember.]

Ruth: ... Oh. Uhm. Thank you.

Chase: Yeah, yeah. I'll be here for your questions, don't worry. [Lighthearted chuckle.]

Ruth: Right. Yep. That's what I want. That's... still the reason behind all of this.

[Silence, about 15 seconds.]

Chase: So in the wake of Slugmo's, uh, passing, right, I've been thinking: Slugmo Two.

Ruth: Chase I barely have enough money for groceries, I am not buying you another children's to-

[Rustling as the recording device is reached for and then shut off. Transcript end.]

[d8tl55c]

[deoidesign]

Guys you're not gonna believe this. The books are wrong again

At least this time I didn't even get half of them and half of what I did get was damaged...? So I only have another 70 books to deal with... This time they're soft touch......

I've got so many of book 2 it's not even funny

[swiftfootedachilles]

ok i left the servers im in. ive decided im just done trying to interact with most people and im just gonna stick to the like. 8 people that still follow/positively interact with me. if youre seeing this youre okay but fuck everyone else i guess

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

friendly reminder to my self harmers! if it doesn't hurt at the time but you expect it should, don't go 'oh that's fine' and keep going. it will hurt later.

[anthromimicry]

okay, but i think it is about time to talk about one of misao's fears is, because i believe that they can tell you a lot about a character and their psyche — and i came to tell y'all that the one i'm going to be talking about today is that misao fears becoming a mother / motherhood. the first reason in which why i believe this is because misao just genuinely thinks that she is not the nurturing type and that she would likely be a terrible parent to her child ( which i know is a very depressing thing to think about. but it is something that she has feared for a long time, unfortunately. ) this likely stems from a mix of misao's inability to deal with her own emotions, though, as she feels like it's better to just bottle them up and deal with them all on her own rather than the alternative. and this would be to try to confide in someone and/or get help from them should she need it. so, misao feels as if her child were to come to her needing emotional support from her, she would absolutely fail at it and the last thing she wants is to emotionally neglect someone the way she had been as a child ( p.s. of course, this was mostly just borne out of unfortunate circumstances, as i've stated before because of kaiyah's illness. though this hasn't stopped misao from feeling the brunt of the impact that it had on her. )

plus... i feel as if misao also doesn't have a lot of confidence in herself whenever it comes to the concept of always being able to put a child first, as she has a pretty negative self-image of herself deep down if i'm being honest. she sees herself as an extremely selfish person who can't even become friends with one person because she is so afraid that someone will hurt her, and in her opinion, that makes her pathetic or weak. so she doesn't feel like she'd be able to take care of a child with the amount of responsibility that is required to in order to raise them properly and protect them at the same time.

though this isn't necessarily true as misao has put up those barriers that would normally let people into her heart mostly due to trauma, and having experienced trauma doesn't make anyone weak. i just feel as if she desperately needs to remedy her self-image because it is very damaging to think of yourself like that and it would be really good for her emotional health if she were to try to ways to better cope with everything that she's experienced throughout her life. there are other reasons as well behind why misao fears motherhood while i'm talking about it, however, and these are arguably one of the more bigger ones: the act of giving birth itself and suddenly being thrust into having to not just take care of yourself, but the baby inside of you as well. which sort of makes sense whenever you connect the dots as to how many horror stories misao has heard about delivering a baby and also how much a person's experience while being pregnant can vary from others. i mean, it has been shown that some people may have more morning sickness than others and that they just don't have a very good experience with being pregnant in general, for example. but other's may be 'glowing' as they say and may find it easier to deal with.

so, you never really know what kind of pregnancy you're going to have until you actually become 'with child' as misao would call it. and the unknown aspect surrounding it scares misao more than anything. plus, as it stands now, she isn't sure whether she'd want to go through the process of giving birth as there can be a lot of complications regarding it. but there can also be so many good things about inviting a new member of the family into your home and misao feels as if it is kind of expected of her to have children so she can continue the kanade line.

but misao is just so afraid of it for these reasons that she can not see herself as a mother, even in her head. however... there is the matter of adoption that she has yet to take into account, but with how focused the jorōgumo are about having biological children, i feel as if misao hasn't even considered it to be an option for those who are afraid of giving birth and also to give a baby / child a loving home as everyone deserves one of those. but yeah. i hope that this gave y'all a little more insight into her character, as misao is scared of re-enacting her past in a way, though i feel as if you become a mother yourself... you have to separate what will be your own experience of parenthood from your parents. so, in order to overcome this fear she has, misao would have to treat it as an entirely different thing from kaiyah's experience as a mother and her own child self's experience of her as a mother.

and this is definitely possible. it would just take some work, as overcoming any kind of fear would. plus, i feel as if misao were to accept other people's help it would also benefit her, since discussing motherhood / plunging into the topic of the sometimes seemingly scary thing that is parenthood is definitely not something that you have to try to go through alone.

[curiouschaosstarlight]

On one hand, I'm super happy my one post about my boi is taking off a bit

On the other, I can't help wondering how many people fully comprehend it's about sympathy/tragedy, and the cruelty of expectations; the fact that so many people take for granted certain kinds of "common sense", and being even just a teenager, let alone an adult, without knowing "common sense" stuff will get you at best treated poorly or judged, or outright effectively punished for not knowing any better And thus, one is shamed for "not knowing", but can also be shamed for daring to ask because that admits to not having known, and paints one as stupid or oblivious, or intentionally ignorant

So if someone wants to just be "scary" and not be shamed, it can be easier to just lean into "oh I'm a totally bad person and everything I do is with every ounce of forethought and I've decided I'm above your societal expectations" rather than try (with a high likelihood of things going wrong) to ask for help from someone

Especially if the person who needs that help is really, really used to being rejected

It's about society-made monsters and the way a person can wind up continuously being pushed further and further into "then let me be evil" and nnnot about "oh heehee look at this character, he thinks he's so great but he's actually incompetent!"

[izzy-b-hands]

accidentally fell asleep after my morning shower (bc i fell asleep on my floor last night accidentally lmao) and am finally waking up fully again and i just wish i could ask my body how it needs this much sleep, yet never seems to give me much actual energy to use. like. what is the sleep going towards lol

[the-catboy-minyan]

me: can I please have just one day of not being sick please

also me: *eats hummus, cooks with soy, orders takeout, makes a ton of pasta, accidentally buys bread with black pepper (why the fuck???) and eats it anyways, snacks on chocolate, grabs free cookies from my work's kitchenette that are apparently full of margarine, drinks coffee regularly, and generally makes bad decisions about once a week*

me: seriously why does this keep happening, we will never know :,)

[nordic-language-love]

having to take another sick day because i still have no voice -_- soooo today’s gonna be all about getting my anki decks/flashcards in order and making a proper japanese study plan!

[sumerus]

hmm i do think im going to merge my star rail sideblog with this one and just post both after all...?

[swiftfootedachilles]

The people youre talking about were friends way before you showed up why are you making this such a big thing

i didn't even name anyone y'all don't even know what users i was referring to 💀 "before i showed up" some of the users didn't even join the fandom until long after i did so what are you talking about.... not that you would know that since i was purposefully vague and never named them ☠️☠️☠️

[ruvigapo]

So FB saw fit to remind me that this drawing is two yrs old yhrjr just thought y'all would like to know 😂😂😂 the wip has been making a surprising ammount of rounds non stop for a While now

Sorry for never finishing it, it seems y'all rly like this particular smooch 😂😂😂

[kinglypup]

fucking HELLO that audio. I want to make you make those noises for the love of god please ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I need to suck tdick SO bad it’s not even fair - 🌊 (still using this so I don’t have to type out my url every time)

aaahh it wouldnt be hard to make me make those noises, im a whimpery kinda guy ;) i also need to suck tdick so bad but also i need my dick sucked so bad im Crazy

[inazuma-fulgur]

I will also defend trans men here, I see vitriol about both just by different people.

Men, and women keeping proximity to men in media/political circles, target trans women for being predators and for mutilating themselves

Same for trans men actually, just by women and men keeping a proximity to those women. This one is a little weird though, because trans men post transition are predators and trans men pre transition are always victims who are tricked into mutilating themselves.

This isn't just on tv, this is stuff my neighbors and coworkers tell me. Austensibly, in my experience, cis women are negative towards trans men and largely neutral or positive towards trans women, whereass cis men are negative towards both

Non binary people don't even exist because they don't touch on the framework people use to understand themselves, so they can just be denied and don't require any arguments beyond "lmao silly"

[mashmouths]

i need to make a venn diagram of character traits shared between mizu bes, simon ss, and lancelot timk because oh? my god.